#source: tiktok
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[Wayne Enterprises Zoom call]
Bruce: Team, please come into the office at least once a year. Just check in. When we were fully remote, we found out that Tim had been working while he was locked up by the League of Assassins. I mean, his Wi-Fi was incredible.
#source: tiktok#source: dan pulzello#bruce wayne#batman#tim drake#red robin#batfamily#batfam#batboys#batbros#batkids#batsiblings#batman family#incorrect batfamily quotes#incorrect quotes#incorrect dc quotes#dc comics
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(Bruce has been brainwashed. Again)
Tim: hey man, I think you got him
Dick, letting out all his pent up rage: YOU WANT WHAT HES HAVING??
Tim, backing away: nope
Dick: THATS WHAT I THOUGHT.
#silly#random hero who doesn’t know nightwing that well: how are you always so calm in every situation??#dick: I get to beat up my brainwashed dad every couple of months#hero: what#dick: what#is this a Gotham war reference who knows#source: TikTok#batman#dc comics#bruce wayne#dcu#batfam#batfamily#dc robin#dick grayson#nightwing#tim drake#red robin#shitpost
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Incorrect Batfam Quotes
Bruce: Tim, do you want to explain what happened today?
Tim: I picked Damian up from school.
Bruce: And you gave a statement to the press?
Tim: No, a reporter just questioned me as I was leaving.
Bruce: And you said, quote “He’s my brother, I’m not stealing him.”
Bruce: And you followed it up with “If I was going to take one, it wouldn’t be this a**hole.”
Tim: I believe I did say that, yes.
Bruce: …I’m never asking you to do school pickup again.
#incorrect batfamily quotes#incorrect dc quotes#incorrect quotes#batman#dc comics#incorrect justice league quotes#batman & robin#robin#justice league#batfamily#incorrect batfam quotes#batfam#incorrect quotations#tim drake#tim drake is a menace#Red Robin#damian wayne#damian al ghul#batman comics#batman and robin#batdad#batbros#batboys#batkids#bruce wayne#incorrect batman quotes#source: tiktok
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Regulus: Hey, what do you think? Red Suit or black dress suit?
James: Oh I don’t , you’ll look handsome in whatever you decide
Regulus: oh well thank you, but I’m actually having a hard time deciding so I was hoping you could pick
James: either way you’re going to be the prettiest one at the party babe I love you so much
Regulus: Ok, no. I love you too and I know you think I’m beautiful and this isn’t a test. I just…
Regulus: Which suit would you prefer to see me in tonight?
James: I prefer you just the way you are
Regulus: Oh my go- Hey Barty! Red suit or black?!
Barty: Black. The red makes you look like a bitch!
Regulus: thank you!
Barty: any time!
#source: tiktok#jegulus#james potter#regulus black#barty crouch jr#barty and regulus#barty and james#james and regulus#james and barty#regulus and barty#sunseeker#starchaser#james x regulus#marauders era#the marauders#mauraders#marauders#barty crouch jr.#barty crouch junior#bartemius crouch jr#bcj#barty being barty#barty being a little shit#incorrect quotes#marauders incorrect quotes#platonic bartylus
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[At Damian & Y/N’s wedding]
Alfred: I now pronounce you, husband and wi—
Jason, who is uninvited by Damian and is petty about it, so he decides to cause some chaos: HE CHEATED ON YOU!!
Damian, who has never once betrayed Y/N: WHO SAID THAT!?
Jason:
Damian: Who said that? Who said that…?
Alfred: I now pronounce you, husband and—
Jason: HE SLEPT WITH YOUR SISTER!!
Damian: WHO SAID THAT!?!
Jason:
Damian: WHO SAID THAT SH—
Alfred, speeding up: Inowpronounceyouhusban—
Jason: HIS HAIRLINE’S RECEDING!!
Damian, taking out his katana as he finally catches sight of Jason: [screaming]
#batman#dc comics#batfamily#batfamily x reader#jason todd#red hood#jason todd x reader#red hood x reader#damian wayne#robin#damian wayne x reader#robin x reader#incorrect dc#source: tiktok
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Red Hood: The first rule of gun safety is get the fuck out of my house.
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Bill: (trying to get Ford to take him back)
(Name): (picks Ford up like a sack of potatoes) Oops, got your man! Shoulda treated him right, now he with a real (redacted), he loves it over here!
Ford: Yeah, I love it over here!
(Name): You want him back? Too damn bad!
#source: tiktok#gravity falls#ford pines x reader#ford pines x you#stanford pines x reader#stanford pines x you#stanford pines#bill cipher#gravity falls x reader#gravity falls x you#ford pines#hunkle ford#divorced billford#implied billford#billford exes#my stuff#memes#incorrect gravity falls quotes#incorrect quotes#the book of bill#billford#book of bill#shitpost#gravity falls shitpost
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[Ahsoka is recording a video in the hangar bay]
Rex: We are currently looking for some professional, no-nonsense troopers to join the 501st here on the Resolute.
[A mouse droid is chasing Fives and Echo down the hallway. It appears to have a knife taped to it.]
Rex: Our ship is a very professional work environment, filled with competent troopers who love to work hard and work together.
[The mouse droid runs over Dogma's foot. He promptly starts yelling at Fives while Echo tries to calm them down. A fight breaks out.]
Rex: Troopers must be efficient, quick-thinking individuals who will contribute to our serene, by-the-books work environment.
[Hardcase blows something up. Jesse uses the fire extinguisher.]
Rex: Give us a comm if you're interested in joining. Have a great day.
#incorrect quotes#star wars the clone wars#incorrect star wars quotes#the clone wars#star wars#captain rex#clone trooper fives#arc trooper fives#clone trooper echo#arc trooper echo#clone trooper dogma#clone trooper hardcase#clone trooper jesse#arc trooper jesse#source: tiktok#may the force be with queue
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(how I imagine) Wanda doing the "Watch my gf" trend.


Natasha, minding her own business whilst cleaning her gun in the common room. Wanda then enters the room with phone in front of her face.
Natasha: Hi, detka-
Wanda, setting down the phone: Hey guys, can you just watch my girlfriend for a sec, thanks.
Natasha:
Wanda, walks away:
Natasha looks back and forth at the phone and Wanda's disappearing figure.
Natasha: ...Wands, what's going on?
Wanda, from afar: I'll be right back, just watch my girlfriend!
Natasha: ???
Natasha, proceeds to clean her gun but awkwardly looking at the camera pointing at her.
Natasha, leaning forward: Is this recording?
Looks around awkwardly, unsure of what to do. Looks at gun in hand. Natasha, shows her gun like a beauty influencer showing a lipstick.
Natasha: This is a Glock 26, I take this on every mission. It's small but durable and-
#source: tiktok#natasha romanoff#wanda maximoff#wandanat#natasha#wanda x natasha#wanda#wlw#natasha x wanda#incorrect wandanat#scarletwidow#wandanat incorrect quotes#black widow#scarlet witch
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Peter, through the radio: on 3 cut the gray wire, ok? 1..2..
Tony: wait, I don’t have a gray wire! I have red, green and yellow.
Peter, scratching his head: that’s weird. I have light gray, medium gray, dark gray.
Tony: you do?
Peter: fuck. my bad, I forgot I’m colour blind.
Tony: you’re WHAT?
Peter: doesn’t matter, just cut the middle one.
Tony, slightly panicking: it DOES MATTER! My middle one could be different. The wires are all twisted!!
Peter: on 3..1..2..
Tony, overly panicked: PETER, STOP
Peter: *rolling his eyes*
Tony: wait, I’m coming to you.
Tony, running to him: point to the wire you want me to cut.
Peter, showing him: this gray one right here.
Tony, heavily breathing: okay, by the way, it green, kiddo.
Peter: ohh.. which one is red?
Tony: the one in your left hand.
Peter: wait, which one is that? I’m also dyslexic.
Tony: how. did I. not know. THAT
#source: tiktok#irondad and spiderson#peter parker#tony stark#irondad#spiderman#irondad spiderson#marvel#spiderson headcanon#mcu marvel avengers#ironman
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Duke: I love these new WayneTech phones.
Jason: Take one.
Duke: What?
Jason: Take it home. I do it all the time. They have plenty, trust me.
Bruce, entering: Plenty of what?
Jason: Plenty of fish sticks in the cafeteria. He was asking if they're out.
Bruce: If they're all out, I'll tell you they're all out, alright?
Bruce: *leaves*
Duke: Jason, I'm not gonna steal from the company.
Jason: If you came over to my safehouse, you'd see my whole setup is Wayne Enterprises stuff. The electronics, the furniture, the salt and pepper shakers.
Duke: Are you serious?
Jason: Steph, do you ever take stuff home from here?
Stephanie: I take the gala champagne glasses home. Give 'em away as gifts. It's a perk.
Jason: It's like a monthly bonus.
Duke: It's stealing! Tim wouldn't do it.
Tim: Do what?
Duke: Take Wayne Enterprises stuff home.
Tim: No, but I do keep a bunch of clean coffee mugs in the trunk of my car and I bring them in every day for Bruce to check and then I put them back so I don't have to wash the dishes in the break room.
#source: tiktok#source: drew talbert#jason todd#red hood#duke thomas#signal#stephanie brown#spoiler#tim drake#red robin#bruce wayne#batman#batfamily#batfam#batboys#batbros#batgirls#batkids#batsiblings#batman family#incorrect batfamily quotes#incorrect quotes#incorrect dc quotes#dc comics
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Random reporter: Mr Wayne, do you think men can get pregnant?
Bruce: uh, I am.
Reporter: *laughs* you are?
Bruce, offended: how about a congratulations instead of laughing at me?
Reporter, starting to get flustered: oh, um congratulations, I’m sorry… so how far along are you?
Bruce: two weeks.
Reporter: oh, uh… how did you know you were pregnant after two weeks?
Bruce: my stomach was growling more than usual, plus me and him had sex so that’s probably where it came from…*points towards Clark across the room*
Reporter: did you take a pregnancy test?
Bruce: uh, no?
Reporter: then how do you know for sure?
Bruce, smiling condescendingly: because I have a kid, I know how it feels like and it was like this. Where did you think Dick came from?
Reporter: But you took him in after his—
Bruce, putting his hand on the reporters shoulder, concerned: There are pictures everywhere of the day of his birth. Are you feeling well? You look a little pale, maybe you should take an early night…
#Clark would absolutely play along#“it was supposed to be a one night stand but we got into a proper relationship cause I wanted to be there for my child#it’s the top news story for a week#this becomes his cover story every time he gets a new kid#”oh yeah Tim’s birth was so long- twenty hours in the hospital but he came out healthy thank goodness#cass’ birth was the easiest bless her#source: tiktok#batman#dc comics#batfam#bruce wayne#dcu#batfamily#dc robin#dick grayson#Clark Kent#superbat#brucie wayne
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Incorrect Batfam Quotes
*anytime Bruce has to socialize
Bruce: Unfortunately due to foreseen circumstances that were completely within my control, I will be late.
Reporter: And what were the circumstances?
Bruce: I didn’t want to go.
#incorrect batfamily quotes#incorrect dc quotes#incorrect quotes#batman#dc comics#incorrect justice league quotes#batman & robin#robin#justice league#batfamily#bruce wayne#batman comics#batman and robin#batdad#dcu#batfam#batfam headcanon#source: tiktok
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Roy: *Under his motorcycle fixin it* Can you hand me a 9mm?
Jason: *Opens bag and takes out a 9mm pistol, handin it to Roy*
Roy: *Takes it, lookin at the gun then back at Jason* I meant a ratchet.
#source: TikTok#this definitely happened#dc#dc characters#incorrect quotes#incorrect dc quotes#incorrect dcu#jason todd#red hood#dc red hood#DC Jason Todd#Roy Harper#Red Arrow#Arsenal#DC Roy Harper#DC Red Arrow#DC Arsenal#incorrect Jason Todd#incorrect Red Hood#incorrect Roy Harper#incorrect Red Arrow#incorrect Arsenal#Red Hood and Arsenal#Jayroy#Royjay#2nd Robin#Second Robin#Dead Robin#Zombie Robin#jaybird
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Incorrect Steddie 5/?
#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#steddie incorrect quotes#steddie#joe keery#joseph quinn#incorrect stranger things quotes#strangerthingsedit#mine#userbanana#userridge#tuserjess#userspacey#usermaguire#userallisyn#userbuffy#source: tiktok
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Maul: Skywalker has been groomed to become Sidious's new apprentice.
Ahsoka: Nu-uh.
Maul: The fuck you mean "Nu-uh"?!
#incorrect clone wars#incorrect clone wars quotes#darth maul#ahsoka tano#anakin skywalker#source: tiktok#< i think??#isn't this how it went?#1k
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