#spends 99.9% of her time around the animals (or her mom) and that's how she likes it

[theydontknowaboutusimagines]

Valentine’s Day Surprise - Harry Styles Mini Series (Part 2)

Part 1 

**

It was the next day and you needed to get out of the house. Even though it was freezing outside, you were headed out for a walk and to grab some lunch with Gemma. You layered up and put on your favorite winter boots before heading out the door. As you walked along the shops on your walk, they were all decked out in pink, red, white, and purple and other various Valentine decorations. 

Which of course brought you back to your conversation with Harry and how he wouldn’t be back for the holiday. Part of you kept telling yourself it was fine and that it wasn’t a big deal, but it still didn’t help the other part of you that thought it was a very big deal. Flowers, chocolates, and little teddy bears filled all the window displays and you couldn’t help but think of you and Harry exchanging Valentine gifts when you were younger. 

At school everyone would always make little cards with a small bag of candy to hand out to the class, but you and Harry always saved something special for the other. You laughed to yourself as you thought about the tiny stuffed animals he had gotten you or all the discounted chocolates you two would be eating together while watching your favorite shows. 

Maybe that’s why you putting so much into spending Valentine’s with him because it was something you two always did as children and now that you two were actually together... it would be even more special. But it’s not like you could do anything about it anyway, so it was better to just figure out a way to make a virtual date special. 

When you got to the restaurant, Gemma was already at the table looking over the menu. 

“Sorry, I’m late,” you said. “I got distracted on the way over.” 

“Oh, you’re fine. I was a little early,” she smiled, wrapping you in a hug. “So, how are you doing?” 

“I’m okay,” you smiled. “Good... just finishing up my book.” 

“Yeah? How’s that going?” She asked. 

“It’s uh... going,” you laughed. “I’m revising it again... hopefully this will be the last time before line edits.. it supposed to release at the end of October, so the sooner I get this finished, the better.” 

She nodded, “How are you and Harry doing?” 

“We’re great,” you smiled. “I mean as much as we can be with not seeing each other for a bit... and apparently it’s going to be even longer now.” 

“Oh, that’s right. He said he won’t be back until around March or later, right?” She asked. 

“Pretty much,” you sighed. “Which sucks on it’s own, but I’m also pretty bummed we won’t be together on Valentine’s Day. I know it’s stupid and petty..” 

“No, it’s not,” she said. “It doesn’t matter how commercial this holiday is, everyone still wants to spend it with their significant other or wants someone to spend it with. And this would be your first one together, so it’s even more special. I get it.” 

“He came up with an idea of having like a facetime date, which we’ve done before, but I don’t know... I want to make it special, but I’m not sure how I can. I don’t want to feel like it’s just another FaceTime date, you know?” You said. 

“Okay, I have an idea, but I’m not sure if it will work,” she said. 

“What is it?” You asked. 

“Harry can’t leave LA, right? Because he’s working and can’t travel back and forth, hence why you two are going to be apart,” she said. 

“Yeah,” you nodded. 

“Do you think you would be able to travel to LA instead? Maybe surprise him there and you two wouldn’t have to be apart?” She asked. 

You bit your lip, “I have thought about it, but I don’t know. What if he’s too busy and wouldn’t have time for me? I don’t want to be in the way.” 

“Babe, you’re his girlfriend,” she said. “You could never be in the way and if you were then you need to get rid of him because you don’t deserve that,” she joked. 

You giggled, “Do you think it would work though? Like, if I went, I would want it to be a surprise. Do you think you could help me arrange it?” 

“Hmm... I guess I could fit you into my schedule... you are practically family after all,” she smirked. 

“Okay, then let’s do it!” You smiled. 

**

Harry had been on the phone and looking over this calendar for well over an hour. He kept trying to find a tim where he could fit in flying to London and back, but even if he was able to rearrange some meetings, it didn’t seem possible. He sighed running his hand over his face trying to figure out what to do next. 

It would be a lot easier if he just asked you to fly out here. He would arrange everything and pay for it, but he felt bad asking you to do that. Plus, he was afraid it would be spending too much time trying to figure out how to get there, that he wouldn’t have any plans once he was there. 

He grabbed his phone because he knew he needed advice. 

“Weeeeellll, hello Baby Brother!” Gemma smirked. 

“Hey, Gem,” he said. 

“What do I owe this rare phone call?” She asked. 

“I call you all the time,” he defended.

“Yeah, yeah, anyway, what’s up?” She asked. 

“I need advice,” he said. 

“Of course, you do,” she said. “What did you do this time?” 

“Why do you always assume it’s because I fucked up?” He asked. 

“Because about 99.9% of the time, you have,” she joked. 

“Remind me why I love you again?” He asked. 

“Because I know too much,” she said. “Anyway, carry on with your question.” 

“I’m in LA and I’m going to miss Valentine’s Day with Y/N... and I’m trying to figure out how to get there in back in the span of two or there days and I can’t make it work,” he sighed. 

“Okay if you’ve already figured out you can’t do it, where do I come in?” She asked. 

“I don’t know,” he sighed. “I just... do you think it’s worth be moving everything around just to be there for a few hours compared to just having a long distance date?” 

“Well, I mean, would it be worth it to see you girlfriend in person compared to a seeing her via a screen, yes, but that is a lot of traveling,” she said. 

“I know, I want this to be special. Yeah, we’ll have other Valentine’s Days in the future, but this is our first one. We won’t ever get it back,” he sighed. 

“Okay, look at it this way, let’s say you decide to go to London,” she said. “And you’re exhausted from traveling or you’re worried about having only a small window of being there... that probably would ruin your time together than if you just stayed put, right?” 

“That’s a possibility,” he sighed. 

“How about this,” she said. “Instead of sending all your time trying to travel thousands of miles for a few hours, try spending time on making what you can do special. You could also postpone it until a time you can be together.” 

“I guess you’re right,” he sighed. “I really want to be there, but I’m not sure I’m going to be able to make it work.”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it, okay? Y/N understands,” she said. 

He nodded, “Thanks, Gem,” he said. 

“You’re welcome. You’ll get my bill in the mail,” she smirked. 

“Whatever,” he rolled his eyes. “I’ll talk to you later.” 

**

You didn’t know how you were able to pull it off, but with the help of Gemma, everything was planned accordingly. Plus, you ended up finishing the remainder of your draft, so you wouldn’t have to worry about working during your time there. Now, the only thing you had to worry about is what you are actually going to do once you got there. 

You didn’t want to plan the entire thing out because you weren’t sure what his side of things looked like, but you wanted to make sure other aspects were taken care. First up was gifts. You weren’t going to over board, but you knew you wanted to get something small and cheesy along with something a little nicer. 

This was your first Valentine’s Day together after all. So, a few hours before you were due to catch your flight, you decided to head out to the shops and find something. Luckily, most stores still had quite a few options to choose from or else you were fucked. You were at a tiny gift shop on the corner when you found a little teddy bear, just like the one you had been given all those years ago. However, it had one aspect that was very different, but fit perfectly. 

The bear was holding a heart that said, “I Adore You, My Valentine,” written on it and you knew Harry would love it. You quickly put the bear in your shopping basket before gathering a few other little random items such as chocolates and a candle you knew he would like. 

Just before you decided to check out, something caught your eye. It was a stand of bracelets that looked exactly like ones you use to make when you were younger and your mom bought you a bead kit. You smiled looking at the different ones until you finally saw one you loved. You grabbed it and headed straight to the check out. 

On your way back to your house, you passed by another shop, a lingerie shop to be more specific. You knew it was very cliche to make a purchase like that for Valentine’s Day, but sometimes cliche was exactly what you needed in life. So, you made your way inside and looked around before trying on a few different options and deciding to get a couple of them. 

Once you got back to your house, you added the things you just bought into your luggage and made your way to the airport. 

It was time to go see your man!

**

Harry was stressing big time over what to do. He kept trying to figure out some fun things to spice up the virtual date and make it special. He even tried to order flowers and gifts to send to you, but of course the majority of shops were already sold out. He had two days before the 14th and he needed to figure something out quick. 

“What’s going on with you?” Jeff asked as Harry paced around the room. 

“Other that royally fucking up Valentine’s Day, not much,” he sighed. 

“Why are you putting so much pressure on one holiday?” Jeff asked. 

“Because... you don’t get it,” Harry sighed. “This isn’t just one holiday. It’s the first one being with Y/N. We’re never going to get that back. Yeah, it’s cheesy and it’s not technically a big deal, but it is. We’ve spent so many years of our lives apart and now that we’re together, I don’t want to miss anymore occasions. When we were younger, we would spend Valentine’s together, eating all the candy we got at school and going through our cards. I remember getting jealous when she would gush over a card from another boy or if someone else got her a little something extra.” 

“We even went to a Valentine’s dance together when we were ten,” he laughed. “I remember she wore this really pretty dark red dress that had roses on it and we danced and laughed the whole night. She was actually the first person I awkwardly swayed side to side with at a school dance. So, that’s why I’m putting so much pressure on myself. We have all these amazing memories from our childhood and I want to make sure we have just as many now.” 

Jeff sighed, running his hand over his hair, “Okay, I feel like I’m in the middle of a romantic comedy on Netflix right now, but go pack a bag.” 

“What? Why?” Harry asked. 

“Because I’m taking you to the airport,” Jeff said. 

“For what?” Harry asked. 

“Because you’re going to London,” he said. 

“Really? How? I tried-” Harry asked. 

“I’ll take care of it. Now, just go. You get on a red eye in a few hours,” Jeff said. “I checked.”

“Why are you doing this?” Harry looked at his friend and manager. 

“Because you deserve to make those memories with Y/N,” Jeff said. “Now, go before I change my mind.” 

Harry smirked, wrapping his arms around Jeff, “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he said. “I knew there’s a reason I kept you around.” 

“Ha ha,” He rolled his eyes. 

Harry laughed, shaking his head, before going straight to the room to get his bag. It was time to go see his girl! 

**

Uh-Oh... Part 3 coming tomorrow. 

I will say this, we’re about to get a Winter Storm in my area with ice and snow, and there is a potential I could lose power/internet, so I’ll keep you updated just in case I can’t post tomorrow. :)

[bylerchoseme]

Very pro Elsanna. You’ve been warned. Read at own risk.

Let’s start at the very beginning. Anna and Elsa were little children when they had to go separate ways. Prior to that, Anna’s memories with Elsa were erased which was for her protection. Anna’s memories with Elsa after the distance were limited. She doesn’t remember much. Anyone that argues they weren’t separated doesn’t know what they’re talking about. Living in the same castle and Anna trying to reach out to Elsa by her door doesn’t count.

Elsa and Anna didn’t grow up together to fully comprehend what a sisterly relationship entails. They couldn’t be taught to act like sisters because neither was involved with each other. There wasn’t time for them to learn what makes sense and doesn’t make sense (sisterly wise). These two girls were living separate lives for 13 years.

Elsa was a grown woman and Anna an adult by the time they crossed paths again. As a 21 year old, Elsa was a true and real woman because that’s the age where it all starts. Anna on the other hand was 18. I don’t understand how people were expecting them to have a sisterly dynamic when that’s impossible. When you spend your whole life away from a sister figure, there is no way you can see them as a sister later.

If we go all the way back to Elsa’s coronation, Anna was acting nervous and unable to talk to Elsa in a sisterly way because she didn’t have a clue. When Elsa called Anna beautiful, she became a nervous wreck and said “You’re more beautifuller.” She was talking too fast without being in control of the words that came next. This whole scene was suspicious on both ends of the spectrum.

After a while, Elsa transformed into this goddess looking human with a braid. The second Elsanna reunion was Anna being completely caught off guard and mesmerized by Elsa’s appearance and becoming speechless. The look she gave her was not sisterly. If Anna had seen Elsa in that form before the transformation, her reaction would have been minimal. Anna had to find Elsa in the castle for a reason.

The biggest moment was after Anna unfroze and Elsa asked her “Why did you do this?” There was a pause before Anna answered. Anna responded with an “I love you.” The tone of the ‘I love you’ was like a confession and not saying it immediately usually means the person is interested in the other. Don’t forget the “Only an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart.”

All Elsa did for 99.9% of the time in Frozen II was push Anna away. She wanted to protect her but you would think she’d be past all of that after the ending in Frozen I. There is a bigger truth to why she didn’t want Anna in her presence this time around.

Frozen II made me raise eyebrows because of the deliberate emphasis on Elsanna. I was expecting much less from them because I thought maybe Disney didn’t want to encourage the shipping anymore. I was surprised by the amount of content we’ve gotten. It was like an early Christmas present.

At the beginning of Frozen II, we saw Elsa and Anna strolling Arendelle at night and leaning on each other while walking which is what couples do. As the song was drawing to a close, Anna pulled Elsa so close to her and they were comfortable when singing “Holding on tight to you.” Maybe too comfortable with the close physical contact.

The next big Elsanna scene in Frozen II was when they cuddled on the bed. Anna was not only singing a melody to her but she was also caressing her. I heard Elsa say something along the lines of “I know what you’re doing.” When Anna became tired, she rested her head on top of Elsa’s and they were asleep like that for a while.

Don’t get me started on the amount of times Anna touched Elsa. She was the initiator for the most of the touching like when she jumped behind her in the forest. Elsa initiated the touching with Anna a few times and those were either subtle or just in particular moments depending on circumstances.

Their constant need to touch isn’t a sisterly bond. No chance. They’re only sisterly days was when they were kids and even those were numbered. They didn’t develop together as sisters. They wouldn’t have been able to remember sisterly interactions.

If ‘Show Yourself’ is an indication of Elsa’s growth and acceptance, we know what happened next. She was finally able to let herself have feelings and not hide her true persona. She was finally Elsa. She didn’t have to hide anymore. I do want to discuss some of the lyrics.

This whole part:

Come my darling homeward bound

I am found

Show yourself, step into the power

Throw yourself into something new

You are the one you’ve been waiting for

All of my life

Show Yourself

Elsa has reached a level of self confidence. She was ready to show her true colors. All it took was for her to see and hear her mom’s spirit. Once she finally discovered the voice and found peace, the rest was very telling. I think throwing herself into something new meant becoming aware of her feelings for Anna. She had to show that part of herself without feeling hopeless.

Finally, the moment everyone has been waiting for. The beach scene between Elsa and Anna was the most romantic and deepest scene I have ever seen in any animation let alone real shows and movies. I actually had a headcanon they would reunite at the beach.

The beach scene showed us how much Elsa and Anna are in love with each other and the extent of their love has no limit. They love each other unconditionally. There are no words to describe their romance. I am still stunned by the things I’ve witnessed. I can’t process anything because their moment on the beach was indescribable,

Anna’s and Elsa’s desire to be together is without a doubt overwhelming. They’re so in sync. It’s crazy. I love the fact ‘Show Yourself’ had to occur first before the long awaited reunion. A lot of people are saying this is the real Elsa. Well I have some news for you. The real Elsa acted different with Anna on the beach. She wasn’t just straightforward but very honest in regards to being in love with Anna.

The lip puckering, the lip staring, the finger/hand stroking, the lack of personal space, the flirting glances, as well as many other things was intentional. There aren’t accidents with animation. Anna and Elsa are the love story of Frozen. Animators knew what they were doing. Part of their job is to pay attention to detail to make sure we see what they want us to see. Although, you would need to have a good eye to catch stuff like that. Elsanna is the main couple.

Elsa pushed Anna away in this movie because she wasn’t ready to accept her feelings for Anna. She wanted to distance from Anna to avoid temptation. She purposely sent Anna away because she couldn’t deal with how much she loved her. Elsa was scared. She didn’t know what to do and got herself out of the situation. Love makes you do crazy things.

Show Yourself brought Elsa back to reality and allowed her to embrace loving Anna without being ashamed. Of course the song can have many different meanings and this was one of them. One thing I want all of you to know is that I am not just interpreting the song based on what I want it to mean. I took lyrics that best related to Elsanna.

To sum all of this up.......Elsa and Anna were separated as kids because the writers didn’t want them to have sisterly energy. These two beautiful women were meant to fall in love. I mean think about it. Why reunite them when they’re all grown up? They couldn’t help falling in love.

Keep in mind that when Elsa left for the castle on her own in the first movie and transformed, Anna couldn’t believe her eyes. She didn’t think Elsa could be even more beautiful than how she remembered her prior to Elsa leaving. When Elsa transformed in the second movie and Anna saw her, she fell in love with her all over again because Elsa had a whole different level of beauty and more to give to Anna. It’s impossible for Anna to not be in love with Elsa. The two separations gave Anna new perspective. The difference was Elsa was just as much in love with Anna after the second transformation reunion.

[paladxns]

* ☆ ◞ KANG YEOSANG. CISMALE. HE/HIM. ◟ wait, wasn’t that THEODORE ‘THEO’ CHOI? they’re a TWENTY year old JUNIOR, hailing from SAN DIEGO, CA. i heard they’ve chosen to study VETERINARY SCIENCE while living at CORAL TOWER ( UNIT 415; ROOM B ). word around campus is that they’re LAID BACK & WELCOMING but also quite PASSIVE & UNRELIABLE. if you happen to see them walking to class with their earbuds in, they’re probably listening to BREEZEBLOCKS by ALT J. 

HEY WASSUP GANG ! 

didn’t take me long to get a second character did it ?? gee what a surprise 

anyways he is very different from hana so !!!! i’m v excited to play him tbh BUT — TW:  there are drug references* and parental death** mention 

H I S T O R Y 

he is from san diego !! a cute lil neighbourhood where ppl kind of knew everyone ?? so everyone knew when his (tw** )mom died from a heart attack when he was only fourteen 

it SHOOK the choi household — it was so sudden and it was very traumatic and theo really struggled a lot with it since he was there when it happened

he’s the oldest of three boys, the 2nd oldest being 16 ( 10 when she died ) and the youngest being 12 ( 6 ) so he really tried to step up when they lost their mom and helped his dad a lot but tbh it was super stressful bc his dad just wanted him to focus on school and ??? theo was like wtf i’d rather be there for my brothers but now he’s older he kind of sees his dad’s point

he got pretty depressed and ?? honestly just took a turn for a worst

they weren’t the most wealthy of families, and then with her death it caused quite a bit of financial struggle and so theo got into selling (tw:*)drugs when he was about fifteen which ... his dad did NOT like but at least they were paying their bills on time

he had a super rough patch between 15 - 18 where he wouldn’t be heard from for hours or days and he’d stumble back home on the worst comedown or hangover imaginable 

like boy did alllllll kinds of stupid it’s a surprise he survived tbh

he’d never let his brothers see him that way but he does regret that it got as bad as it did and his dad knew but he couldn’t really intervene in anyway and it’s not like theo would listen either

still, even tho he spent most of his nights getting messed up, he DID work hard at school and got a scholarship to nyu where he’s doing veterinary science bc ya boiiiii loves animals and tbh his mom always knew he wanted to be one since he was a kid so even if he grew out of that dream he was always gonna pursue it bc of his mom and he feels like he can make her proud

tbh that’s all u need to know background wise so 

P E R S O N A L I T Y 

very ?? loving tbh he has so much love and affection and he’s ready to hand it out to whoever wants it — genuinely loves physical contact too he will 100% be trying to hold your hand or lay in your lap whenever he can... he needs to learn not EVERYONE is ok with this tho

is kind of a hermit sometimes but more in the sense he can spend days alone in his room without any human interaction and be fine ??? like won’t even realise he’s done it but he's ALWAYS down for hanging out with people and socialising tbh he’s happy either way

he’s very good at hiding his depression, like you’d really never expect it from him he’s so smiley and has a super warm aura — definitely the type to try and fix everyone else in hopes it’ll fix him but some days if he is feeling especially low, he’ll shrug it off as being tired and just isolate himself in his room

he’s stoned A LOT, like expect 99.9% of interactions with him he’s probably blazed tbh — he definitely uses it as a coping mechanism for his depression. the only time he’s not high would be if he knows he’s doing something surgical or super important for class

a very go with the flow kind of guy and doesn’t really like pressure being put on him, ya boi doesn’t like S T R E S S and will just rather see how things go than worry about what could happen

the type to make best friends super easy but ?? doesn’t really put too much effort into relationships he’s quite bad

a proper peace keeper, if there’s any kind of conflict he’s in the middle trying to diffuse it and make everyone happy 

kind of a pushover but more bc he just doesn’t really care about anything and he definitely thinks life is pointless and nothing matters so ?? 

random facts // hcs

a pro joint roller — super quick, super neat, but can also make fun, creative ones to smoke too

skateboards around campus, usually bc he’s slept in late and needs to get to class quickly

pansexual af 

he gets panic attacks sometimes and if anyone sees he’s super embarrassed about it tbh but sometimes he gets flashbacks of his mom dying so :| 

speaks english, korean, and knows a lil bit of spanish

finds painting nails SUPER therapeutic so catch him with randomly coloured nails any day of the week 

is in the photography club !! and also the earth matters club 

he’s a neat freak !!!!! everything must be organised and clean or he can’t FOCUS 

definitely a bit of a ho .... he’d sleep with anyone and does tbh 

loves naps and sleeping in general

ok thatsss it !! i dont really have many specific wcs other than ? hookups and smoking buddies...... so ? maybe someone who lets him paint their nails, he’d LUV that but yes i’m down for brainstorming so click the heart for plots !! i’ll come 2 u but maybe tomorrow as i gotta sleep but maybe tonight too bc... i’m a mess

[babaleshy]

Time for me to rant. If anybody is morbidly curious about what it’s like to live with Trump supporter parents where one parent basically projects himself onto Trump, you can click the thingie. But the context of how this is different from other times I’ve bitched about my folks on my old account is we’re not starving for once. We actually have some money and are trying to get some shit together so we can take care of the urgent needs such as fucking house repairs and shit.

So... We live on a farm. I won’t say where, but right over the hill is a goddamn oil pad. My parents aren’t rich or anything from the oil rights, but I am reluctantly admitting that we are finally getting some money in to where we could repair our tub so we don’t have to risk blisters from pulling a DIY string to turn on the cold water through a ventilation duct because the faucet is fucked. We also got the train to our tub fixed so that way when we shower, we’re not standing in filthy-ass water that can’t drain properly no matter what we shove down the drain to fix it with. We had to replace the entire drainage system for both bathrooms.  Yes. Both bathrooms. The second one is just a toilet and a sink but that sink had the same clog problem due to YEARS of rust build-up because there’s so much goddamn iron in our well water, which my dad states is “actually water coming in from a flooded mineshaft,” and at this point, it would not surprise me if he was right for once.

We also finally got new working vehicles we don’t have to keep taking in for repairs we can’t afford in hopes we can make it to the grocery store or in hopes my mom and my husband can make it to work. Still 2 vehicles, but they are much newer than what we had before (I’m not car-smart, so I couldn’t tell you what years they are or whatever).

My mom also finally paid off all of the credit card debt we were drowning in. This includes both of mine we were forced to use and max out and never make payments on because we couldn't afford to eat several times. That’s about $3k in the hole if you include late fees and interest on TWO credit cards under MY NAME. Because we didn’t have money on us so we could fucking eat.

We are hoping that soon we can get all of our teeth fixed. My husband and I have wisdom teeth in dire need of removal. All of his are rotten, one of mine is rotten but all four are crowding my teeth, all four of us have cavities in our teeth we’re doing our best to keep from getting worse. So the next logical step is teeth. I’m trying to apply for Medicaid but now apparently you’re required to do that over the phone, now and I need a day during the week where my husband has off so I can get some help with this phone call (long story, I just have trouble with phone calls). We also really hope we can find a dentist and oral surgeon NOT IN THIS AREA. A BIG REASON WHY HALF MY TEETH ARE FUCKED IS BECAUSE OF PURPOSEFULLY BOTCHED JOBS BY AN ASSHOLE DENTIST SO YOU’D KEEP GOING IN AND HAVING YOUR FILLINGS RE-DONE.

But hey! We’re doing financially better, now. Especially since my mom plans to give me birthday money this year, and my parents don’t seem to have a problem with paying (if necessary) to help me get tested for dyslexia.

With all of this good news, you’d think my dad would be just tickled, right?

Nope.

He bitches about spending money. He has a mole hill of money he sees as a mountain and he wants to sit on it and never spend it. He bitches anytime spending has to take place. At all. He parrots any and all things Trump promotes and shit. My dad wants to be Trump. My dad is racist, thinks Mexicans are invading America to take our jobs and rape our women and murder Americans (same with any non-white refugee from anywhere), he thinks the military doesn’t get enough support of any sort, with his excuse being “we need to make sure we can show the world we can destroy it at any time we want to so the rest of the world respects us.” Btw, he equates fear with respect. There is no debating him. I’ve tried.

My dad says if he is somehow convinced his xtian god isn’t real, then what’s the point in being a good person? He’d start killing everybody just because there would be no god to judge him. THIS IS THE SIGN OF A MENTALLY UNHEALTHY, UNSTABLE, UNSAFE INDIVIDUAL. Luckily, my dad is actually all talk 99.9% of the time. My dad is lazy, and even states that his ideal life is to sit in an apartment without ever having to move, and he’d have servants at his beck and call. He actually tried several times to convince my mom to move into an impoverished part of the south intentionally because “we would live like kings with the money we’ve got coming in right now.” He’s full of shit because it actually isn’t that much money. It’s just that we can stop starving. (For context, my mom wants to move north ever since her mom/my grandma died because her sister is all she has left and she lives up north, and since Kent State is up there, I’m fine with that.)

My dad wants to sit around and be lazy and absorb any and all conspiracy theories on YouTube that appeals to his fucked up worldviews on a device he claims to hate and wishes never existed. He also bitches about having to drive my husband around, who “should have gotten his permit and license by now” despite the fact that he finally got new glasses after 10+ years of not being able to afford to upgrade his prescription and needs to get used to his new vision. My dad is convinced that because he willed himself through his own problems that literally everyone else can do the same. My dad is the most self-centered adult outside of celebrity-hood I’ve ever seen. My husband has anxiety because being behind the wheel of a machine that could easily kill people freaks him out, and he’s not sure if he can see a counselor for managing his anxiety on a regular basis is going to be possible right now.

My dad thinks my husband works at a retail video game store to support his hobby and nothing else “because of all the damn games and statues he keeps buying” when my dad likes to ignore the fact that employee discounts, clearance sales, trade-in credits, and special deals exist. 

My dad is a miserable old bastard, and because we’re in the same situation as him, he cannot stand how we enjoy ourselves to make the most of it. Misery loves company, and he can’t get past the fact that his life changed forever when he got hurt and permanently disabled at the steel mill back in ‘95. He has since then refused to accept what has happened to him, and would rather be a miserable piece of shit and take down anyone else nearby with him. Which could be why he bitches about having money he can spend, now.

And he does all of his venting at my husband. I know my dad is trying to goad my husband into saying or doing something stupid so my dad has a reason to either kick us out or be physically violent. My dad doesn’t like the fact that my husband isn’t a fucking idiot. My husband grew up with a family full of anger-filled assholes. He knows the ropes as much as I do. And the fact that my husband sticks up for me while I’m not around shows to my dad that my husband truly does love me, and wouldn’t only stick up for me while I’m around. He has called my dad on his shit quite a bit when I’m not around. My dad HATES that he can’t dangle the indirect message of “you’re all by yourself, no one else thinks you’re right” above my head. And ever since my husband started routinely calling my dad out on his shit, or defending me when my dad bitches about me over stupid shit, my dad has backed off me for the most part.

My dad wasn’t counting on me getting married to a good man. My dad previously equated good men with financial wealth. Turns out my dad was proven wrong, and he can’t stand it. That fucker is the whole reason why I have had so many self-image insecurities (and still do) and my dad can’t stand it that my husband isn’t joining him on mocking me. My husband tells him to fucking stop. My dad dares not do it in front of my mom, because she tells him to stop.

My parents aren’t in a very health marriage. There’s more footage of convincing evidence of Bigfoot than there are times my parents did something together because they love each other, and I’m not talking about anything expensive, either.

Mom sleeps on the couch because she told me she can’t stand his snoring. However, I remember my mom once telling me that my dad “doesn’t have an ‘off’ switch with his libido” so I’m guessing that’s another reason why.

Both of them sit in the same room on opposite sides of the room (mom on the couch, dad in the busted-ass armchair) on their devices (mom on her tablet and/or phone and dad on the computer that’s by/in front of his chair), only talking to each other about certain articles they read, and not much else. They’ll occasionally watch something on the TV together on Netflix or Hulu but that’s about it.

Mom wanted to live on a farm and raise horses ever since she was a little girl, and through manipulation and the excuse of 4-H projects through me and my brother, she finally got her wish. And my dad is against having any animals of any sort. All he does is bitch about them. He also bitches about how much country my mom listens to (and I can’t blame him there; my mom is the whole reason why country music is the bane of my fucking existence).

Aside from boinking to have 2 kids and mourning over the loss of one of them, my parents have very little in common. I have no idea how or why they got together other than my dad made my mom laugh and didn’t break her jaw like her ex-husband did, my dad had 3 exes and wanted to make the 4th one count, and my mom found out she was pregnant with me before dad proposed (I’m GUESSING knocking my mom up is what made them decide to marry, I dunno).

My mom has (VERY FEW) redeeming qualities, so I take advantage of her mama bear nature to ensure I’m safe under the same roof as my dad. I’m unintentionally appealing to her desire for a farmer-daughter by wanting to garden, though I made it very clear I will never be responsible for farm animals again. She also doesn’t mind the fact that she’ll never be a grandmother to human babies. I’m willing to bet it’s because she never wanted me and doesn’t blame me for not wanting kids of my own. She gets points for not being exactly like her own mother, but I could’ve used some meaningful and caring mother-daughter bonding instead of the distant I-see-you-as-a-burden-now-that-we-are-living-in-poverty treatment I got growing up.

I could point all of this out to my parents, and they would rather spend more time coming up with excuses or redirecting the blame instead of, you know, APOLOGIZING FIRST. And I say this because I have brushed on the topic before and they got SUPER defensive about it.

I was an accident, they got married probably so I wouldn’t be born out of wedlock and so their respective families wouldn’t look down upon them, they thought they had this and had a second kid, a year to two years later dad gets hurt at the mill and we’ve been impoverished ever since but because boys bring more promise of success than girls---especially girls who are different like I was and still am---my brother was automatically the favorite. And I was always screamed at.

Boy would I love to see a therapist instead of a one-hour visit with a counselor trying to figure out as much of why my brain is the way it is once a friggin’ week. Not blaming the counselor, because he’s awesome. But my counselor did say that he’s actually a bit surprised but glad I’ve figured out some way to live with this. It’s because I know how they act, how their minds work, how they would react if I said or did this or that. Having all of this free time and being alone with my thoughts because my husband works his ass off for pennies only for my dad to try and make him spend money on necessities instead of spending his own goddamn money has allowed me to think about and even analyze my own parents; how they act, why they act this way, why they’ve acted that way, etc.

I do consider myself lucky that they aren’t worse than this. My mom is actually much more understanding with me, now, and that’s probably because I’m the last child she has left. So I guess after living in a shit or unhappy marriage and working her ass off to raise two kids and then losing one, she tries to be the good xtian mother and be thankful for what she has now. It’s a guess, though. The whole thing could be a facade for all I fucking know.

Dad’s all talk, but because his tone is the same whether or not he makes his shitty, stupid jokes, or can’t keep certain thoughts to himself and feels the need to say them aloud (SUCH AS POINTING OUT I HAVE CLEAVAGE LIKE IT’S SOME “OMG WOW YOU HAVE BOOBIES NOW AFTER HIGH SCHOOL” IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE COMMUNITY COLLEGE IN MY EARLY TWENTIES THANKS DAD THAT WAS CREEPY WHAT THE FUCK), it’s hard to tell whether or not he’s serious about some of the shit he says.

He projects himself onto Trump because he wants to BE Trump. Trump says if Ivanka wasn’t his daughter, he’d date her. I wouldn’t be surprised (I’d still be creeped out) if my dad said something similar. And he has tried to talk about my appearance and how I could make money with it such as a pin-up cosplay calendar because apparently I “look so attractive” while at the same time he shames me for having “skin so pale my legs blind him from reflecting so much light while I wear shorts.” And when I call him out on it, he genuinely thinks he’s done no wrong. My dad is pretty much Trump Lite, and it’s creepy.

But I know the fucker. I can play at his fucked up game, too. All I gotta do is talk about periods or vaginas, because suddenly when his daughter talks about, you know, being a human, suddenly it’s just too much for him.

And he hates I can play this fuck-ass game with him.

And I’m glad he hates it.

Because it’s evident he will never see himself in the wrong. He never has, never does, never will. Because he’s got one excuse or answer after another, and when he runs out, it’s time to drop the conversation before he gets pissed and ruins the night for everybody.

So I’m glad I’m good at playing this game back at him and being damn good at it. That’s what he gets for being a piece of shit.

[jerseycollective]

THIRD YEAR SHOW ARTIST STATEMENTS

Christine Alba (@thehappilyeverafter): I started my instagram account nearly six years ago so that I could have a place to document my days with iPhone photos of people, places and things that I love, including playful flatlays of food and objects from nature. I think with patience and careful attention, we can find beauty in simple, ordinary subjects, and I try to capture and share such beautiful simplicity in my photos. I take pride in being able to say that even after all these years, 99.9% the photos I post to instagram are taken and edited on my iPhone.

Kayleigh Ann Archbold (@herheartlaughs) is the owner of Laughing Heart Photography. She was raised in Hewitt, New Jersey but has called Montclair home for the past six years.  She’s a soul-baring wife, artist, photographer, chaser of light, and adventurer. She spends most of her time daydreaming about being a mermaid and traveling this beautiful planet with her husband Jason.

Bobby Bates*

Lauren Bowers*

Alessandra Agabiti Braghelli (@unaromanainamerica): Born in Rome, moved to NJ for love. Mom, lifestyle blogger. Loves Autumn, healthy food, coffee, old fashioned houses. Her happy places are libraries and Wildwood. Wanderlust.

T. J. Brown (@photobyteresa): Mama Bear, Earth child, dedicated steward of the environment, Educator, Biologist in training, Dance Instructor, Writer, SJ native. If you find me under the sun or stars, dancing to a great band, with wild curly hair, and my shoes nowhere to be found, you've caught me in my most lively element.

Theresa Campbell (@tcampbell210) is a hobbyist who loves to travel, take photos, and share them with the Instagram community. She runs several hubs on IG including @just_unitedstates (in its 5th year!) and @just_newjersey.

Rey Caparros*

Meaghan Cross (@ohkichan195): Being able to share my perspective through a lens is fun for me. Others get to share in my experiences and I get to document them to look at them later. More often than not, my friends have come to me to ask if I still have pictures from a particular outing or party; the answer is always yes. I like it for it's documentation purposes and that it's also a form of art I get to experiment with. I've tried painting and drawing, but I've always circled back to photography more often than not. I think it's partially what influenced my job choice; Radiologic Technologist (or X-ray tech for short).

Zevilla Dahliana (@zezefox) is an Outdoor Advocate. She supports positive change within her community by promoting an active lifestyle. She is passionate about the outdoors; you can often find her hiking mountains, kayaking, biking, and snapping photos in between.

Gina Danza (@wildginaa) is an outdoor and food photographer who is always looking for new places. Her mission is the make the outdoors more diverse and healthy.

Craig DeCicco (@macaloin) is a photographer and real estate agent from Jersey City who enjoys shooting landscapes/cityscapes and traveling in his free time. Craig is a published photographer whose work has been exhibited in galleries throughout New York and New Jersey.

Jessica Defabritis (@jessica.def): Photography is such an interpretive art form that is so fun to share. It leaves it up to the viewer to decipher what the story is behind each shot. Whether it be a person experiencing a wonderful new place or a tiny heart shaped leaf in the middle of the woods. You decide why those things matter most as you gaze at them. It's what makes it special, you get to tell a story but only you know the true plot. Making them beautiful to look at is just the fun part.

Keith Drennan (@mrblackthorn) is a photographer from Jersey. He generally focuses on landscape and portrait photography.

Sarah Erbe (@saraherbe3) is a 24 year old from Bay Head, New Jersey. She works in retail as an Assistant Buyer. Her hobbies include photography, traveling, and blogging.

Bart Everts (@bartlehe) is a librarian at the Paul Robeson Library at Rutgers University-Camden and a historian of the Philadelphia region. He has written articles on South Jersey and the Philadelphia area for Hidden City Philadelphia, The Encyclopedia of Greater Philadelphia, Camden County Heritage, and Pennsylvania History. In addition to his personal Instagram, he also manages the account South Jersey Vegan @sjpvegan, which features vegan food in South Jersey, Philadelphia, and beyond. A native of Collingswood, he now lives in West Philadelphia.

Scott Faytok (@sfaytok78) is a photographer in Central NJ who loves the shore and traveling. His favorite spot is Bay Head. He loves showing off his state.

Jamie Ferrugiaro (@missjamiekaren) is a sort of jack-of-all trades creative who is passionate about the outdoors, traveling, and art. She has lived in Jersey her whole life, and loves the East Coast.

Mike Forgie (@prestonlogan) is a Digital Marketing Specialist. He would love for you to figure out what his username is from.

Olivia Frawley (@livfreddy): I am a mid-20s high school biology and marine biology teacher. I love teaching my students concepts they can both observe and apply when they go out in the real world! In the meantime, I try to capture as much beauty as possible right here in NJ; from the hidden oases in the middle of the woods to fiery sunrises at the beach during fishing season. Maybe we will just let everyone else keep thinking it's "dirty" here - and the beauty can be our little secret.

Jessica Grennen (@Simply_jessg87) was born and raised in New Jersey and has always been the creative type. She likes to think she followed in her dad's love of photography and hasn't stopped since. She’s drawn to nature and architecture mostly, “one being fluid and the other bold, hard lines; my ying and yang I guess you could say.” In the future she would love to start selling her art but for now she is content sharing it with friends and family.

Danielle Grubb*

Michael Guccione (@michaelguccionephoto) spends most of his time photographing at the beach in Monmouth and Ocean counties. He has been a New Jersey resident for 9 years now, and loves showing people how beautiful this state is.

Emily Anne Harber*

Kate Hausman (@Khaus11):I am a Park Naturalist from Ocean County, but I spent the past two years living and working in Stokes State Forest in Sussex County. I've enjoyed documenting the differences between my southern and northern homes, particularly the natural/ecological ones.

Andrea Hayes (@andreas.photos): I believe there is so much beauty to be found in our surroundings, you just have to look for it. That is one of the reasons why I explore New Jersey. The other is that I love photography. Instagram has been a wonderful way to connect both.

Cristal Johnson (@cristalinaj): Mama. Teacher. Sunchaser. Dreamer. The skies, the seas, and the world around me.

Adam K*

Youn Lee (@yjbunnylee) has been living in Basking Ridge, NJ (Somerset County) for over four years. She is currently a graduate student at Pratt Institute and a freelance UX designer. She loves traveling up and down the I-95 corridor with her husband. She was born and raised in South Korea.

Micael Lopes (@billyoliver) is a self-taught photographer and instagramer from Brazil. He considers New Jersey his home because it is where he grew as an artist and it has shaped his photography skills in the way he sees light, color, and natural elements. He often likes to incorporate nature with a twist of urban style in his photos in light settings. As an artist he strives to create work that will evoke emotions and inspire others.  

Matt Marcheski (@mattmarcheski) is a portrait and landscape photographer from the Atlantic City area. Traveling and meeting new people is his thing!

David McGraw Jr. (@ddmcgrawjr): I've worked as a concert and nightclub photographer for the past four years. Having grown up in New Jersey it's been great to come back and take photos, especially during my Jersey Collective week last year (election week in November). I hope to cover emerging music scenes in Newark and Trenton in the future.

Matt Murawinski (@mattmurawinski) is a 20-something nomad-at-heart. Producer for CNN by day and photographer by night (and weekends).

Donovan Myers (@stryfe2103): Storyteller and Wanderer from South Jersey. I've lived in New Jersey since I was 5, but only recently began to discover the hidden wonders of this place. I've spent the last few years wandering the state with camera in hand, discovering parts of this state I never imagined, and trying to tell a bit about these places through my pictures and my stories.

Arati Patel (@aratip05) has a background in Environmental Law and Policy. She has had a passion for the outdoors since she was young. She enjoys discovering small pockets of nature within urban areas and always had an appreciation of how resilient urban ecosystems are. She thinks that Jersey Collective is a wonderful community to help photo enthusiasts of all ages and backgrounds have a chance to showcase their talent and the beauty of New Jersey and is thankful for this opportunity.

Natalie Pereira (@rockbeertravel): I have been fascinated with photo documenting my life and the world around me since I got my first LeClic camera in the 80s! I am completely self-taught and just focus on what I see and how I see it. In my professional life, I run a series of artisan markets in Jersey City called Marketplace JC and am lucky enough to be part of a network of artists in artisans in New Jersey.

Corrie Peterson (@upbeatlibrarian): i'm upbeat. i'm a librarian. i'm corrie peterson, just a human animal living alongside the atlantic ocean in new jersey, spending my time growing & stretching, learning & reading, taking walks, swimming laps, writing poems, looking for treasure & making art out of books that nobody else wanted.

Amy Petrie*

Artyom Pocapinskis (@art_poca) is inspired by nature and always in search of new adventures and experiences.

Cindy Price (@mostlymaplewood) has written extensively about food and travel for the New York Times and the American Michelin Guides. Her Mostly Maplewood photography project began when she moved to Maplewood, NJ with her husband and two young sons and began exploring the area. She shoots solely on her iPhone 7.

Jennifer Rojas (@digital.concepts) was born and raised in upstate NY. She moved to NJ about 13 years ago. She began photographing and exploring NJ and the surrounding areas about four years ago and hasn’t stopped since.  

Jason M. Schack (@jmschack_photography) is a nature and landscape photographer from Waretown NJ, located in Southern Ocean County. You can find him anywhere along the Jersey Coast for sunrise and sunset. Fall and Winter are his favorite seasons for photography, and he hopes to see you out there!

Blaise Scott-Miller*

Ana Mo Shoshin (@madcat1) is a hand-quilter and artist living in Asbury Park, NJ with her husband and cats. She enjoys taking photos, coffee, rocks, and bones. See her work at madcatquilts.com.

Michelle Simone (@michelle.simone) is a multimedia artist who specializes in photography, deejaying, and filmmaking. New Jersey is very inspirational to her--from its culture to its geography to all of the hidden treasures it has to offer.

Jaclyn Sovern (@jsovs) is a 24-year-old based in the Tri-State area, with a BFA in Photography from The School of Visual Arts. In 2016 she launched her own company, Socially Relevant, a full-service agency providing day-to-day social media management, content creation, website design, and more. Visit her websites www.jaclynsovern.com & www.sociallyrelevantt.com.

Diana Van Horn (@dianavanfarley) is a portrait and lifestyle photographer based out of Asbury Park and has lived in various parts of New Jersey her entire life. When she’s not out photographing the cute @AnimalsofAsbury, she enjoys documenting local events & politics.

Ed Waldron (@edwaldrons): I try to capture the built environment we have created within the natural beauty of the state. Pictures that incorporate architecture, constructed environments, and their placement in nature give a true sense to how we live and what makes New Jersey a great place to be.

David Warner (@davidwarnerphotography) grew up in New Jersey and has called it home all his life.  When he was 12 years old, he had a darkroom in his parents’ basement and was hooked ever since.  Although he does headshots, weddings, and much more, he really loves capturing the history and nature that we have all around us in the Garden State.

Sean Whener*

Kyle Willis*

Ben Wurst (@reclaimednj) is a field biologist who is happily married with two young children. He works with rare wildlife along the southeastern coast of New Jersey. He’s into everything related to the outdoors, including photography. He tries to use his creative skills in his work to highlight the need for conservation of wildlife and habitat preservation. In 2011 he started a small business centered around reducing wood waste being sent to landfills and use that salvaged wood to create picture frames and other creations.

*no statement supplied

[mrandyzavala]

Zookeeper Pregnancy - Morning Sickness

I swear to god this is not your typical pregnancy/morning sickness blog post.

Morpheus always knows

Not that there is anything wrong with so-called Mommy Blogging. In fact, there are some great ones out there, so I am told.  But the people who write that share at least three of the following qualities:

1) They have kids

2) They use coasters religiously and appropriately

3) They grow all of their own food with one hand (the other hand is usually doing something crafty)

4) They take perfectly artistic photos of everyday goings-on (such as pooping) that make it look like a utopian paradise

5) Their clothes match

I meet precisely one criterion in that list (hint, it is not number 5).  Even though I do have a kid, and I am 31 years older than said child, I feel like I am still in seventh grade.  This is a quality about my mindset that has not changed.  The only reason I have any business being a mom is because I am a professional applied behavior analyst.  But for that, my progeny and I would eat donuts three times a day and wear the same rainbow-themed clothes while binge-watching Sci-Fi and/or Pixar movies.

Um. Exhibit A.

I also didn't really have what you would call a magical experience with being knocked up; if I have an inner fertility goddess, she is currently snoring on a proverbial couch with Cheetos covering her Rubenesque body.

BUT.  I found it a really interesting experience as a marine mammal caregiver.  I spent a lot of time in my 11 year career around pregnant dolphins and their calves.  I never labor and delivery of a human being, but I had seen it over 10 times in bottlenose dolphins.  I have been around way more pregnant dolphins than pregnant humans. 

Like this one! Roxy was pregnant with the love of my life in this photo

Here’s a thing I noticed and eventually became really annoyed by: our quickly-made conclusions about how different Animals Have It than humans.  For example, most of the pregnant dolphins I knew got “morning sickness” (aka The Worst Feeling Ever Other Than Scooping Out Your Eyeballs With A Small Spoon), but that was treated like it was some kind of anomaly.  When the dolphins would sit uncomfortably in front of us, barely eat, and refuse behaviors, our Training Brains couldn’t seem to wrap our minds around this.  Yeah, HUMANS got morning sickness, but these dolphins were ANIMALS.  Animals are tough.  They don’t show their emotions in ways humans are used to.  They don’t write Mommy Blogs and talk about Dolphin-Based Morning Sickness Remedies (THANK GOD).

I'm crying

But the majority of trainers I have worked with always talked about how that made no sense….placental mammal pregnancy involves many of the same principles, including sudden and dramatic changes in ratios of certain hormones.  The first trimester of pregnancy is essentially your body going WTF JUST HAPPENED and scrambling to support this small parasite(s).  The placenta, which eventually takes over most of the life support, doesn’t play that role until  later.  That means the mom’s body needs to support the little blobby blob* with chemicals like gonadotropin and progesterone.  It is likely that one or some of these hormones in their pregnancy-level amounts causes some really unfortunate GI side-effects.

When you have a dolphin who loves to eat no matter what is going on, you know something is up when she suddenly looks squinty-eyed, sluggish, inattentive, and like she would rather swallow bits of glass than eat whatever you have in your bucket.  Of course, the standard course of action is to take blood and gastric samples to ensure something is NOT actually wrong, so once you rule out illness, you got yourself a lady friend with morning sickness. 

HOLD IT IN HOLD IT IN

In my experience, six weeks into carrying Blessed Life (while I was on a solo vaca to Central California to geek out on whale-watching for 10 days), I felt the most nauseous I have ever been.  Ever.  Like, even when I had an intestinal parasite for two weeks and could not eat and wound up in the hospital.  It was seriously terrible.  The only thing I could eat was sushi and fried or grilled squid.

Guys and gals (especially those of you who have never been pregnant), I would not wish the all-consuming, intense nausea I experienced on anyone (some world dictators are exempt from this statement).  Nothing I did could take my mind off of how sick I felt.  The advice I got was the wise but totally ineffective long-view kind, where people tell you how it’ll all be worth it (okay, it was) or how you should just think of this tiny little life growing inside of you (hint: photos of embryos are not great remedies for wanting to puke your guts out), but all you want to do is spend the rest of your life in the fetal position (ha ha, see what I did there).

 I need to re-do this vacation. Better yet, I need to move out there!

I spent most of my vacation in bed, miserable.  When I got back to work, I had to tell my boss that a) I was pregnant and b) there was no way in hell I could go on a sea lion transport because I would basically just vom the entire time.  Then I had to work.  Like normal.  I was on my feet for most of the day, in the heat, around the saltwater, around dead fish, penguin and otter poop, and I had my supervisory duties.  And I had to pretend nothing was going on.  I have no idea how well I pulled this off, I just know that there were many times I walked into our medical lab when no one was in there and flopped over the counters, hoping no one would come in.

I AM FINE

It was there, on the cold countertops, that I really felt bad for my previous interactions with newly pregnant dolphins.  We had two dolphins who were preggo at the same time as me, but they were well past their sickness stage.  Even though I figured they experienced some kind of nausea/fatigue early on, and tried to be sensitive, I still fell into trainer-mode, where if they refused a well-established exercise behavior I would ask again after an LRS because….that is what we do.

But as I drooled on my uniform, my stomach turning in knots, I realized what a butthead I had been.  If THIS is what those lady dolphins experienced, I deserved to be kicked in the face.  If someone came into that lab and said, “Hey Cat, go do your normal workout right now” or “Hey Cat, walk five steps”, I would be like OVER MY DEAD BODY. 

Now, luckily, any misguided decisions I made regarding which behaviors I asked pregnant dolphins to do was usually met with refusal or avoidance.  That is, the girls would say OVER MY DEAD BODY in their own dolphin way.  That is how true positive reinforcement training SHOULD work, with the animals feeling perfectly comfortable saying no without any fear of deprivation of what they need to be happy and healthy.

Plus, you wind up with a cute baby

But still, I felt like a butthead.

And, I'm just gonna say it, but dudes don’t get it.  Especially in our field, where a) most of us are chicks but b) most of our bosses are male.  You are expected to work 99.9% of the time (you better be filling out records while you’re pooping on company time) because there is so much to do and the animals depend on you, it is a big deal to suddenly lose a trainer at ANY level (because seriously guys, we are all passionate and therefore very valuable no matter what level we are).  I think women are more empathetic to this thing, even if they haven't been pregnant…because periods**.  Female reproductive systems do really weird and usually uncomfortable things, even when they are perfectly normal.

No.

But dudes? If you think we are just whining about morning sickness, I have a fun and educational activity for you to try.

Drink Dran-O, just enough to prevent massive organ failure.  And just when you think you are going to die, go to work and pretend like nothing is wrong.  (Side note: this also works for our “monthly visitor” experience, except you can just slice a relatively high-pressure, non-vital artery in your pelvic region).

...

Anyways, my lesson?  Even though I thought I was giving the animals the benefit of the doubt without sacrificing predictable training principles, it took me actually going through the experience to really understand.  That was just MY experience, it is probably different for most of you out there. 

And you know what? If I'm wrong, if dolphins really do NOT experience morning sickness and just have a secret Sisterhood pact to all refuse behaviors and pick at their food in the first four months of their pregnancy, then I would rather bring them extra comfort than try to make their situation more uncomfortable.  After all, our main job is to put the animals and their wellness first.  The show, interaction, or session takes second priority to the well-being of our animals. Tell me your experience, keepers with human babies!

_______

* Actual developmental term

** Need I say more, ladies?

from The Middle Flipper http://ift.tt/2sT8H6E