#spilled poetry

[words-at-night]

[thepersonalquotes]

[zedif-y]

does anyone else get a surge of fondness for their friends over the little things? the things that, technically, don't matter all too much, the things you could forget eventually.

like the fact that they do their wordle everyday, without fail. like the fact that they've worn the same ring everyday since middle school.

this isn't meant to be poetry, but it also kind of is. when i talk about my friends it feels like poetry— like i'm trying to capture a sunset in a bottle, capture laughter in a little box.

i think i'll always cherish the way that they are, wholly and unfiltered. down to the missed messages and late replies. i'll cherish the unprompted ukulele sessions, the nicknames that never fully went away. i'll wrap up our memories and store them at my desk, where i can always look back, even if it hurts. even when it doesn't.

there was a point to this and now it's gone. the point was somewhere between the days i last saw them all and is buried wedged inside a couch, the same one we nearly lost a phone to back in high school. the point is i love my friends for all their imperfections and i love them for all the times that i've cried.

there's a thank you on my tongue for everything, the big and the small.

thank you for editing my birthday video. thank you for seeing me after class. thank you for eating with me at lunch. thank you for holding me when i cried. thank you for staying over. thank you for giving me rice. thank you for smiling at me. thank you thank you thank you.

maybe these are all things i'll forget eventually. maybe we're all dust specks in this corner of the universe and maybe in a few years i'll look back and i won't remember the way you hated mangos on desserts at all.

that's okay. that's okay.

did you finish your daily wordle?

[pink-heart-writes]

i really wonder why is it that i can't let go of someone who already let go of me...

- nick <3

[kumsal-thingss]

Bu hayatta beni en çok yoran insan tipi

ne istediğini bilmeyenler, gel-git haller.

[leechteethwrites]

a piece of something i wrote

[wandering-whisperer]

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people just exist."

-Oscar Wilde

[blissfulreads]

[mother-marilynn]

I'm just so lonely. Not just today, but every day.

My bed is filled with stuffed animals gifted to me by friends who I don't talk to anymore. Their solidness and warmth cradle against me in faux affection.

I anxiously double check online communities I'm apart of waiting for a text that will never arrive. Filling my days with people I don't know, looking to clutter the void with lookalike company of people who have long since left.

I tease the earth with my hands, dance the ground and whisper promises to the weeds in my backyard. Yet I flounder and flail at the opportunity to romance myself and others.

I fantasize about a faceless lover when the only person whose ever been in my bed is me.

My room is cluttered with things I love and tend too; so much so that it feels too cold and empty to leave. Anywhere else is simply too cold.

[thepersonalquotes]

[woundedwhispers]

The funny thing is the moment you start feeling happy alone, that's when everyone decides to be with you.

[pink-heart-writes]

you are, by far

the greatest loss of my life

- nick <3

[sfsolstice]

s. f. solstice, "pink moon"

[mkaugustpoetry]

How many nights have I dreamt

Of holding you in my arms?

Keeping you safe and loved,

Comforting you.

How many nights have I dreamt

Of seeing your smile?

Your eyes a cloudy mystery to me

But the curve of your mouth

Real and true.

I thought maybe I had you for the briefest of days.

I thought I was learning the shape of your eyes

And the weight of your hand in mine.

But I'll go back to dreaming.

I'll keep dreaming of you each night.