#spnhellatusrewatch

[elizabethrobertajones]

Dean x Lisa meta masterpost

Wheee haven’t done one of these in a while!

Usual disclaimer that this is my own personal collection of posts curated from my blog and there's a whopping Destiel bias, but a specific disclaimer for this post that it's meta mostly discussing them in relation to Destiel or Dean's personal arc on the assumption of Destiel shipping, which is sort of the point of this collection, and because it's a side-thing to the point of this blog and the blogs of pretty much everyone who has written on them from this collection of posts, many posts are general posts about season 3 & 6 (&5) episodes mentioning them tangentially for the sake of collecting a wider but more accurate picture on the general chatter about Dean & Lisa for personal insights and comments I liked. I am a huge soppy romantic fan of Dean & Lisa but many of these posts are critical or dubious of their relationship and are collected because I find the discussion interesting and I'm not precious about meaningful criticism of things I like for a purely emotional reason (and I have my own criticisms I agree with of the writing so I'm not pretending I like them ~perfectly~) so anyway if there are stereotypes about Destiel shippers vs Dean x Lisa you hate this post is probably full of extremely unlovable meta :P

General Dean x Lisa:

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/162717591608/so-i-saw-that-gifset-of-kripkes-commentary-on https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/155632620933/mittensmorgul-so-im-rewatching-302-why-do https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/126363051183/ibelieveinthelittletreetopper-i-wonder-what https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/130557001326/subjecttochange8-freetobesamanddean-i-get http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/159793521320/517-and-518-or-how-does-any-of-this-make-any https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/129243764033/spn-hellatus-rewatch-5x17-or-this-is-it-this-is https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/94807639473/jacklesonmymind-winchesterandwinchester https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/161283808903/is-sams-jacket-the-same-one-from-season-6-like https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/148394683723/seven-things-about-rewatching-supernatural https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/146708762873/elizabethrobertajones-im-really-quite-fond-of https://kayanem.tumblr.com/post/131953365014/spn-hellatus-rewatch-6x01-exile-on-main-st-omg https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/94470477003/carnilia-spn-ladies-meme-favorite-scenes https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/146702639333/mittensmorgul-cloudatlascas-marilynmay https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/155041861143/mittensmorgul-yarnyfan-side-eyeing-the https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/148801641333/seven-things-about-rewatching-supernatural https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/161973220098/thayerkerbasy-awed-frog-and-then-we-wonder https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/147874425921/treefrogie84-awed-frog-treefrogie84 https://kayanem.tumblr.com/post/140933537739/spn-hellatus-rewatch-6x21-let-it-bleed-i-only https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/140933592313/6x21-rewatch-ah-yes-apparently-the-world-keeps-on

Dean x Lisa & apple pie life:

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/129349810968/spnhellatusrewatch-episode-3x02 https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/123455552188/spn-hellatus-rewatch-3x02-refers-you-to-the-fact https://k-vichan.tumblr.com/post/156103020479/6x01-6x02 https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/155603095133/sunshine-anon-the-line-about-sugarsweetness-was https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/155503015888/so-what-are-you-gonna-do-youre-just-gonna-live https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/153306730518/i-bring-tea-and-food-for-thought-there-was-a http://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/130232794973/i-think-id-like-to-take-you-up-on-that-beer https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/128497275303/obsessionisaperfume-f-ckyeahfutbol https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/159886111173/mittensmorgul-602-from-djinn-to-shapeshifters

Sam vs Dean & the apple pie life:

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/159237892390/mittensmorgul-310-aka-sam-tries-to-be-more https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/143040170946/justanotheridijiton-310-803 https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/124195209375/ibelieveinthelittletreetopper-f-ckyeahfutbol https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/162713109665/sensitivehandsomeactionman-eric-kripke-on https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/159856199922/mittensmorgul-601-deans-year-of-el-sol-comes

Dean x Lisa & Destiel parallels:

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/162371646783/tinkdw-destiel4life67-tinkdw https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/159036787255/anniehowsback-destielette-6x01-12x12-for https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/152380472538/k-vichan-k-vichan-braezenkitty https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/143105908638/thanks-for-everything-a-romantic-goodbye

Dean & Ben:

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/150264207626/mittensmorgul-flyingfish1-mittensmorgul https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/134069735918/hi-liz-so-about-the-winchesters-childhood-do [abuse discussion cw] https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/130554062498/6x02-rewatch-or-its-been-one-episode-and https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/140624804203/kayanem-elizabethrobertajones-6x14-rewatch-3 https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/109404509983/snowlantern-rewatching-6x21-let-it-bleed-i

[scarlet-rose17]

"You think women can't do the job." Sweetheart women can do the job fine. Amateurs can't. So I know people think that Dean is the definition of "toxic masculinity" and all that crap but hey guess what? NEWSFLASH buddy! That's a load of crap. You might want to remind yourself that Dean has trusted many women in hunting and to some extent even admired them. Young Mary Winchester who he thinks is a total badass, Jody and Donna #spn2x6 #noexit #spn2x06 #spnfandom #spnfamily #spnrewatch #spnrewatchmarathon #supernatural #supernaturalseason2 #spnseason2 #deanwinchester #jensenackles #jaredpadalecki #samwinchester #jensenandjared #jaredandjensen #samanddeanwinchester #joharvelle #joxdean #deanxjo #ellenharvelle #alonatal #supernaturalhellatus #hellatusrewatch #spnhellatusrewatch https://www.instagram.com/p/ByXnDksgIgJ/?igshid=1xh08di2op8u9

[nerdylittleshit]

Spnhellatusrewatch - Episode 3x10

Contains spoilers for later seasons, up to 11x23.

3x10 Dream a little dream of me Or the one that’s a bad acid trip

I really like this episode. It’s not only one of the best episodes of the season, but also of the show. It cements a great change of Dean’s personal arc both in season 3, as in the show on general. This episode focuses heavy on Dean, which might be the reason why I like it that much. But let’s start at the beginning.

The main topic of this episode of course is dreaming, which is actually a plot device Supernatural doesn’t use very often. Except of this we kind of never see the boys dreaming. The only other instance I can recall right now would be Dean’s nightmares in 7x04 and 10x09. Other than that dreams are only mentioned in the way that we know that both boys have been suffering from nightmares, which is really no surprise with the life they are living. But true to the genre of the show, we not only see the boy’s dreams here, but we explore them and hell, analyse them to death.

We start the episode with Sam, drinking in the afternoon, a rather untypical behaviour of him. He feels guilty for not being able to save Dean, and at the same time he accuses Dean that he doesn’t want to be saved, asking him why he cares so little about his own life. Both of these themes will later return in the dream world. But Sam is right when he says you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. And that’s the major step for Dean in this episode, getting to a place where he not only wants to be saved, but thinks he deserves it as well (which fits nicely with both 1x12 and 4x01, where Dean indeed gets saved from death, but doesn’t think he deserved it).

Let’s start with Sam. His role in this episode is the smallest. He is also the only one whose dreams we don’t get to see. Except of course Sam’s dream of Bela. I don’t know what it is about Sam, but his type seem to be the kind of woman who try to kill him or at least have the word “dangerous” written all over them. We do get to see Sam all awkward and flustered around Bela, which is great for comic relief, but seems a bit out of place. This isn’t leading anywhere, has no importance for the plot and doesn’t tell us a lot about Sam. It feels like it is only there to show us the contrast to Dean’s dream of Lisa. And of course Dean asking Sam if he dreamed about Angelina and/or Brad. Projecting a bit again, Dean?

In stark contrast to that we see a bit more of dark Sam at the end of the episode. Even though we don’t see it, it is implied that he killed Jeremy in his dream. Which would count as the first human they kill? Sure, Jeremy hasn’t been innocent, he was a killer himself, and technically he had supernatural abilities (he described himself as a God in the dreamworld), but I wonder if there was no other way than killing him? Seeing that “Mystery spot” is the next episode I feel this is a deliberate foreshadowing of the very dark Sam we get to see there. Also Bobby wonders if Sam had used his psychic powers to defeat Jeremy in the dream world. We don’t know for sure, but it is important that Bobby mentioned them again, as we know that dark Sam in season 4 will use them.

Speaking of Bela again: not much happens here as well, other than Bela stole the Colt. Which makes sense, in terms of plot. Because the Colt has always been too good to be true. A weapon that can kill every supernatural being? Back in season two its power was restricted because there were only a couple bullets left. But now that they found a way to produce new bullets the Colt would have been a constant deus ex machina.

The other character next to Dean we get a little bit more of an insight is Bobby, as it is Bobby trapped in his own nightmare that starts the whole episode. Up to this point we don’t know what it is that got Bobby into hunting, and in true Supernatural fashion it turns out to be an utterly tragic story. What a great surprise. We also learn that the boys weren’t aware of this. Bobby isn’t to blame, nobody would like to talk about it. It seems like there is a silent rule in the hunter community: don’t ask, don’t tell. A great deal of hunters have equally tragic stories how they got into hunting, so if they don’t tell them on their own terms you just don’t ask.

I wonder if Bobby’s backstory has been always in the back of the writers minds, or if they just came up with it for this episode, because it parallels great with the boys own story. We learn that Bobby’s wife got possessed and that he killed her, as he didn’t know how to save her back then. He still feels guilty about it, guilty enough that in his dreams he thinks he deserves that she kills him. There is a really important line she says to Bobby: “If you’d loved me, you would’ve found a way [to save me]!” This of course is how Sam feels about Dean: guilty because he is not able to save Dean, failing him as a brother. Which ironically parallels Dean’s arc in season 2, where he was the one not being able to save Sam, which led him to make the deal in the first place.  It seems to be a Winchester problem, adopted family included. Speaking of, it is the moment Dean tells Bobby that he is like a father to him, that makes Bobby snap out of his dream. I think this might be the first time Dean tells Bobby that, and it gets more significant as this episode is full of abusive fathers (both Jeremy’s dad & John Winchester), seeing as Bobby is clearly the opposite of it.

There is also the visual storytelling when it comes to Bobby’s dream. The boys at first don’t recognize Bobby’s house, as it is cleaner and tidier than they remember. All the colours are brighter. This is the way Bobby’s house (and soul) looked like while his wife was still alive. Without her all the colours drained, and everything got covered in dust. Also Karen Singer (whose name we technically don’t know yet) wears a white dress, probably a nightgown, making her another woman in white. I think it is fair to say that wearing a white nightgown is like a death sentence in the world of Supernatural.

So, let’s talk about Dean, shall we? (If you think this is already long, buckle up). Before we get to the heavy part, let’s start with something I noticed during this episode: Dean’s references to drug use. When Jeremy first tells him using the dream root was like a bad acid trip, Dean seems to know what he is talking about. And later, when they actually use the dream root themselves, he makes the reference of synching up Pink Floyd’s “Dark side of the moon” to “The Wizard of Oz”, what of course refers to smoking weed. This is not the only time Dean refers to drug use and he also seem to have no restrictions when it comes to the use of all kind of pills. It is fair to assume Dean had his share of experimenting with drugs, whereas Sam didn’t (unless you count smoking oregano as well, right Sammy?). This makes sense as Sam is the one who tries to follow the rules, who is the one who tries to earn money the legal way, who wanted to become a lawyer after all. In contrast to Dean, who sees himself as someone who lives by his own rules, who did associate himself with the inmates in 2x19, and who has a disrespect for the law and the police, as he thinks they don’t make their jobs right. (Of course the Winchesters vs the law is mainly Dean vs the law)

So let’s get to Dean’s dreams, shall we? Of course it is quite telling he doesn’t want Sam in his head. I mean they are brothers, they spend 24/7 together, but even Dean wants some privacy. And what’s the dream Dean doesn’t want Sam to see? His little domestic fantasy with Lisa and Ben. I already wrote about Lisa and Ben in my rewatch for 3x02, how the reason Lisa became so significant for Dean was her son, who could have been Dean’s son, representing a life he never had and he thinks he can never have. Here we see Lisa becoming literary Dean’s dream girl. And whereas Sam’s dream of a woman was mostly about well sex, we see the complete opposite here with Dean. There is nothing sexy about this dream, just Lisa and a picnic (and the next time we see a picnic it is with Amelia, waiting for Sam, which was metaphorical his dream world). And even here she mentions Ben, because to Dean Lisa never exists on her own, but only with Ben, completing the family. On top of that we have Lisa declaring her love to Dean. That’s pretty heavy and the complete opposite of “gumby girl”. And Sam knows it. He is painfully aware of Dean’s longing for a normal life, a long term relationship, a family. I think it is this moment that makes him forcing Dean to go to Lisa at the end of season 5.

And the best at last. Because Dean vs Dean is still in my all time favourite list of scenes in this show. It was during my rewatch of season 1 that I realized that John has always been a shitty dad. It’s been in the subtext of the show from the beginning and often enough in the text as well. There was never a sudden change in the way John was written. What changed though was the perspective of the brothers and how they saw their dad. That is a huge difference, because even though we see the show through the brother’s perspective, we don’t always have to agree with them. Especially not when Dean again and again apologizes for his dad’s behaviour. And this is the first time he actually really calls him out for all his bullshit. This is huge. Because so much of how Dean sees himself is influenced by his upbringing and how he thinks his father saw him. Of course there are times after this episode where Dean yet again idealizes his dad. It’s complicated. And it doesn’t reduce his development in this episode.

Of course we can’t talk about abusive dads without mentioning Jeremy’s dad. We learn that Jeremy got hit with a baseball bat as a kid by his dad, causing his inability to dream (and ironically Jeremy tries to kill Sam with a bat as well). Metaphorical his father took his dreams away, just the way John took Dean’s dreams away: Dean couldn’t afford to have dreams or a life of his own. So Jeremy didn’t dream for years, which certainly would explain the crazy. And just how Dean’s dreams aren’t his own anymore but that of his dad, Jeremy can only dream as long as he walks in others people dreams.

Dean then confronts himself; he is his own worst nightmare. And man, Dream!Dean isn’t going soft. He tells the truth as it is, harsh and ugly. How worthless Dean feels, how he hates what he sees in his mirror. How come he cares just so little for his own life (the same question Sam asked him in the beginning). But then it is not much of a life worth saving. Because everything that defines Dean (his car, his music etc) belongs to his dad. That he has no life, no dreams of his own. That all his life is centered around Sam, that he was never more than a good little soldier to his dad, obeying his commands, taking care of Sam. And if his dad didn’t care whether he was alive or not, why should Dean?

“[Because] my father was an obsessed bastard! All that crap he dumped on me, about protecting Sam! That was his crap. He's the one who couldn't protect his family. He- He's the one who let Mom die. Who wasn't there for Sam. I always was! He wasn't fair! I didn't deserve what he put on me. And I don't deserve to go to Hell!”

It seems like Dean did carried this around for a long time, but was always too afraid to say it out loud, trying to be a good son instead. But here he acknowledges that what his father did to him wasn’t right, that he put his own responsibilities as a father on his son instead, that it was Dean who raised Sam, whose childhood was stolen. And that he deserved more. A life of his own. Dreams of his own. Normalcy. Love. Acceptance. And that the way he was brought up, the constant reminder to take care of Sammy, led him to make a deal in the first place. But now he sees that he doesn’t deserve to die, he doesn’t deserve to go to hell and become a demon. For a short moment Dean can accept that he is a good man, that he always tried to do the right thing. That it is okay that he wants to be saved. That it is okay to ask others for help. That it is okay if he wants to live. His greatest fear though? Not dying, but what he becomes afterwards.

It’s a great change in the course of this season. Dean’s indifference towards his upcoming death (or rather his act) changes into Dean finally accepting that his life is worth saving. In the long history of Dean feeling worthless it marks a great step of Dean becoming his own man, of him accepting himself. Of course over the course of the show we see Dean in new personal lows, so let’s celebrate this baby step for what it’s worth.

[nerd-overlord]

Literally one of my fave Winchester conversations

Dean: I'm tired Sam, it's like there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Sam: That's hellfire Dean.

[sickandtired27]

SPN 5.16 Dark Side of the Moon

*One hunter just killed Sam and another is pointing a gun at Dean* Stupid Hunter #2: "do you want to spend the rest of your life knowing Dean Winchester is on your ass? Because I don't." Dean: "Go ahead Roy, do it. But I'm gonna warn you, when I come back I'm gonna be pissed." Alright, I got a little carried away with the #SPNHellatusRewatch but I had to make it to this scene. I think it's my favorite in the whole season. I just love getting to see some of the hunter communities perception of the Winchesters.

[nerdylittleshit]

Spnhellatusrewatch - Episode 3x09

Contains spoilers for later seasons, up to 11x23!

3x09 Malleus Maleficarum Or the one that’s downright unsanitary

Ahhh yes, I’m still not over the fact that the worst thing for Dean about witches is their hygiene. This and that they kill poor little rabbits for their spells. I mean they also kill humans, but Dean has his priorities right.

This episode marks a big turnaround considering the mythology of the show. It is the first time we encounter witches. The first time Lilith is mentioned, though not by name. We learn that witches get their powers through demon deals, and that all demons were human once. And that Dean can’t be saved and eventually over time will turn into a demon as well (ok, it takes another six seasons to get there, but still).

It actually took quite some time for the show to introduce witches. This might have to do with this season’s heavier focus on demons (after 2x22 they are practically everywhere) and how witches and demons are intertwined. This lore stays pretty much the same over the next seasons. That is until season 10 and our one and only Rowena arrives, who introduced the concept of natural gifted witches. Because of her character there has been a heavier focus on witches and witchcraft in the last two seasons. I actually liked the whole arc of the Grand Coven and their enmity with the MoL, and I hope the show will pick up this storyline again and explore it a bit more (at least the MoL will probably play a bigger role next season). Even though we got to a point where it seems that for every problem the Winchesters might face there is the right spell. Rowena ex machina, you might say.

Anyway, the thing is, I always liked witches. I grew up with stories about witches, books and shows and movies. I loved “Sabrina, the teenage witch” and “Charmed”, and ‘til this day I have a pretty obsessive detail knowledge of Harry Potter. So to me, witches are supposed to be the good guys (or gals, whatever). Whereas Spn pretty much sticks to “all witches are evil”, with only one execption (James from 8x15).

I don’t even know how the fact the Winchesters use spells as well falls into that. Clearly they never made a deal – well at least not to get powers that is – and I don’t think they are natural gifted as well. So some spells just work like that, it seems? You might just need some mojo for the big stuff? Who knows. Not me.

This episode also continues a theme that was pretty big in season 2 and just recently came up again in 3x07: the human monster. Sam even says so himself about the witches: “they’re human, they’re like everyone else”. Just like Lucy in 3x07 was a victim more than anything else, we can say the same here about Elizabeth and Renee. They weren’t actually aware what they got themselves into. They might have just done it out of curiosity, but in the end  they paid with their lives for it (and as they both made a deal I guess that means they are in hell right now… wouldn’t it be fun if they return as demons one day on the show?). And it is heavily suggested that Tammi killed Amanda alone, as both Elizabeth and Renee believed that she had committed suicide.  That is important to think about considering the fact that both Sam and Dean agree at one point that all the witches have to die. But then again they obviously thought the whole Coven was responsible for Amanda’s death.

Either way, the question remains: is it okay to kill a human, knowing they did something horrible as killing somebody? So far this line hasn’t been crossed. Either the law intervened or the decision is taken from the boys in one way or another (in 3x07 Gordon was already a vampire by the time Sam killed him and here it is Tammi herself who kills her Coven). But even though the boys are only discussing the question so far it takes the show into a darker direction. Even more so as it is Sam who suggests it this time. This is something so out of character for him that even Dean gets worried. He is no longer acting like himself and this brings us once more back to 2x22. Not only is Sam supposedly role in the apocalypse mentioned again but it brings us back to something Azazel had asked Dean back then: what if Sam came back wrong from the death? While I don’t think that is true, we see how Sam becomes more reckless with every episode, something that will continue over the course of season 3 and will find its tragic end in 4x22. And that is because Sam is scared, downright terrified. It is his way to deal with the fact that he will lose his brother and there is nothing he can do about it. He even admits so himself, saying that he needs to change in prospect of the things ahead of them. That his new reckless behaviour is him trying to be more like Dean. But in the end Sam becomes way more like his father than his brother. That’s the difference: Dean is ready to sacrifice himself for his brother, whereas Sam is ready to sacrifice everyone else for Dean.

I think it is pretty clear that Sam trust Ruby now, or at least is willing to work together with her. This might be the first time where we see at least one brother being okay working with the enemy in order to achieve a greater goal. Ironically it is Dean who finds some sort of connection to Ruby in the end, though it is his tragic fate that brings him closer to her. She tells him that there isn’t really a way to save him and that sooner or later hell will turn into a demon. I think until this point Dean might have had a small hope there could be a way to save him. But what is even worse than dying or going to hell is the knowledge that he will become the very thing he despises the most. Dean, who is so tragically beautiful human, will eventually lose all his humanity. Ruby tells him that she is different, that she does remember how it is to be human, and that that is the reason she is helping them. We know now that she lied about her motive here, but the question remains if she lied about remembering being a human? Is that possible? We do explore the connection between demons and humanity a bit more in the Carver era. First with Meg and her connection to Cas (they met in the middle – Meg remembers how to be human and Cas longs to become one), later with Crowley and his newfound “feelings” and then of course through demon!Dean (which brings us full circle). It certainly presents demons in a different light. Yes, they are evil, but they weren’t born like that, they were made. And that’s what makes their stories so tragic.

[nerdylittleshit]

Spnhellatusrewatch - Episode 3x08

Contains spoilers for season 11. FOR REAL! You have been warned.

3x08 A very supernatural Christmas Or the one with the Samulet: An origin story

Thank God, it’s Christmas. Real talk though, I’m a sucker for holiday themed episodes. Supernatural is unfortunately a show that lacks in that direction. I’m used to annual Halloween/Christmas/Hanukkah, alright? Whereas with Supernatural we have in eleven seasons exactly one Christmas episode, one Halloween episode and surprisingly two Valentine’s day episodes (is this show secretly the romantic comedy we all want it to be?). Then again Supernatural managed to create one of the saddest Christmas episodes ever, so maybe it is better that way.

This episode is really strong on the brotherly angst department. I mean there is a case, there is even a false lead (man, I would have loved an evil Santa), but ultimately this is about the brothers. And to make things even a bit more heartbreaking we get some Wee!chesters on top of it.

So let’s talk about the case first before we go there. Of course in a Christmas themed episode the monsters turn out to be pagan Gods. Which actually makes sense. The revenge of the pagan. And after 1x11 it is the second time we meet a (non-Christian) God. This is before season four introduced angels and with that the Abrahamic God. So at the time I first saw this episode I just thought the Supernatural universe contains various Gods from different mythologies, but not the (Abrahamic) God. Because the guy from the bible? If my religious education doesn’t tell me wrong he didn’t tolerate any other God besides him (just go ask his sister about it). But here we have all kinds of Gods, with the only rule that our God (let’s call him Chuck) is the most powerful. It probably makes sense if you stop thinking about it. But back to our Gods aka Madge and Edward. I totally loved the Stepford imagery. Nothing scarier than Gods who lesson you not to swear while they try to eat you. It’s wonderfully over the top, from the cold opener to the part where Sam & Dean kill them with a Christmas three. I think if any show can pull this up, it’s Supernatural.

And because it would have been too much fun to leave the episode like this have some brother angst to get things emotional again. There is a little competition which Christmas is the saddest, the one in the past, or the one in the present day, but in the end present day clearly wins. So let’s visit the ghost of past Christmas first, shall we? To nobody’s surprise John isn’t around. I only noticed this now, but the pagan Gods only killed the dads and granddads of the families, never the mothers or grandmothers (or the poor children who had to witness everything). With this episode reminding us what a horrible dad John was I think this might have been deliberate. It is never confirmed or denied if the victims had been bad dads (though at least they were at home for Christmas), but I think the killing of fathers is meant to be metaphorical (and 3x10 is not that far away).

So John is doing whatever he thinks is more important than spending Christmas with his family, leaving his kids completely alone. And from Sam and Dean’s conversation we can gather it is not the first time this happened (well, we already saw that in 1x18). But it’s not just leaving the boys alone, they are sadly used to that, but leaving them alone on important dates just like Christmas. Dean defends his father, not only for Sam’s sake but his own. If he keeps repeating the same story long enough he might believe it one day. We learn that Sam wasn’t aware of monsters/hunters/the life until he was eight years old. He had the illusion of a normal life, even a normal childhood under their circumstances. And I think Dean envied him about that. In 1x18 he was sad that the little boy (Michael?) had lost part of his innocence after learning about monsters and in 7x04 he tells Jo that hunters are never kids. For what it’s worth Sam was allowed to be a child for a little while.  

It’s pretty clear from their conversations from the present day that Sam & Dean remember their childhoods quite differently. Dean tries to focus on the good memories and even more so, he tries to turn the bad ones into good ones as well. The thing is he knows as much as Sam that their childhood wasn’t the best, but his coping mechanism over the years had been to create a different kind of story, one without an absent father, but a superhero instead, who fought off monsters every night. John probably never needed to justify his actions to Dean, because Dean already did that for him. And he did it for so long that even as an adult he fails to see their childhood and their father for what they really were. And this makes me believe that Dean was younger than eight when he learned about monsters. Dean had always known, since the night his mother died. Because Sam’s reaction after learning the truth couldn’t have been more different: instead of seeing his father as a superhero he starts to fear for his life and that of his family. And we know that Dean was afraid of the very same thing, because the myth of the invincible John was born because of it. Because Dean needed to believe it.

The other subject that briefly comes up is their mum. Sam mentions her, and immediately Dean gets angry and tells him to never talk about her again. It is clear that the boys never talk about her, neither with their dad or amongst themselves. Mary remains a mystery in Sam’s life and a constant wound in Dean and John’s life. Sam of course was too young when she died to remember her. And in a way it seems like Dean wanted to keep her and the memories he had of her to himself. It might seem selfish, but I don’t think you can blame him for it. He was just a child and that was his way to deal with her death. If someone is to blame it is John (again), for raising his sons in a way that they were too afraid to bring her up. In a way he let her die again, letting the memories of her wither.  

Our trip in the past ends with the Samulet. To be honest, before this episode I have never given the thing much thought. It was just there, until it suddenly became the symbol of brotherly love. And of course it is quite telling that the giftt that Sam intended to give his father ends up being Dean’s gift. Because he is the one who raised him, who was always there for him, who made the sacrifices John should have made.

And I think it is because of that memory that Sam in the present day changes his mind about Christmas. He realizes everything his brother did for him, how he despite their upbringing tried to make some good Christmas memories for his baby brother. So who is Sam to reject one of his brother’s last wishes? I told you, it is the saddest Christmas ever, watching the two of them celebrating while knowing there won’t be another Christmas for them again (spoiler: there will be, the angel from the top of the Christmas tree is going to save you).

And because I don’t want to end this review on a total sad note, let’s talk about the gay part of this episode: Sam & Dean pretending to be a couple. Or rather Dean pretending Sam is gay and/or emasculating him. We have seen this before in 2x11 and Sam’s sudden interest in dolls (of course after Dean wondered why everyone thought he is gay). This time it’s the wreath. The classic Dean-projecting-his-own-issues-on-others-move. It wouldn’t be Christmas without it.

Until next time, kiddos!

[nerdylittleshit]

Spnhellatusrewatch - Episode 3x07

Remember the great Spn hellatus rewatch I started last summer? Yes? Well, now that it is hellatus again I will continue. Let’s see how far I come.

Includes now possible spoilers for season 11. This is all Lizzy’s fault.

3x07 Fresh blood Or the one with the razor wire

I think even with now eleven seasons done, this is still the episode with the most gore. Or at least it’s in the top five. I dunno. Either way, I always have a hard time watching it. This is a really dark episode, not just because it marks Gordon’s final appearance but also because of the emotional states of the brothers and the choices they made. It’s a lot to take and I sometimes feel there isn’t much discussion about it (or maybe I didn’t see it) and we just forgot over time.

We start the episode with Bela, who tells Gordon where to find the Winchesters for the right prize. It isn’t surprising she doesn’t react when Gordon threats her life, after all she is going to die anyway. We see the same kind of behaviour with Dean in this episode, who is taking more risks than usual, knowing he is going to die as well. Of course at this point we don’t know yet Bela made a deal too, so her behaviour in comparison to Dean’s could be seen as a clue. I don’t think Bela knew just how dangerous Gordon is, or else even she might have acted different. Once she learned about her mistake she helped the brothers. Say what you want, but this girl pays her debts.

Thematically it makes sense to use vampires as the monsters for this episode. For once because they are Gordon’s specialty. But also because these monsters are a lot about choice, transformation, and ultimately also about family. This episode also continues the theme of morality and morally right choices. We started this show with the Winchesters having a strict black-and-white-morality. This changes in 2x03, the episode where we first met Gordon. He as well sees things very strict in two categories: good vs evil, us vs them. Until we meet vampires who might not be that evil after all (hello Lenore). And in some ways we come full circle, though in a bad way. We meet another vampire, a young woman named Lucy (enter Mercedes McNab, whose fate it is to play vampires and nothing else). We learn that she unknowingly transformed into a vampire while drinking vampire blood, which she thought was a new drug. By all means she is a victim. Yes, she killed, but even then she thought she was hallucinating. 2x03 showed us not all vampires turn into monsters. And later in the episode Sam reminds Gordon that even as a monster he still has a choice. But Lucy doesn’t. They kill her, without even discussing if there is any other option.

I’ve read a great meta some time ago about Dean’s constantly changing morality over the course of the season (you can read it here, thanks @justanotheridijiton for the link ). From grey (Benny) to strictly black-and-white (Amy in 7x03). And how it often says something about Dean’s state of mind. Whenever he is feeling really low he takes no prisoners. Season seven of course was an all-time low and so is season three. But purgatory and Benny? That’s a different story. In season three though Dean’s recklessness could be also seen as some foreshadowing. Even though we don’t know yet that Dean’s deal means he will slowly turn into a demon while being in hell his decay is already there. Lucy’s death fits right in into the atmosphere of hopelessness and despair and the season’s mantra that there is no way out.

And this brings us to Gordon. And another hard choice. Because Sam and Dean agreed that they have to kill Gordon even before they know he has been turned into a vampire. I get the reason why they decided Gordon had to become a vampire, other than tragic irony. For once it transforms him from a metaphorical monster into a real monster. But (and that takes us back to the morality of the show) ultimately the boys have the moral high ground in killing him while he is a vampire. We even get a response from Dean who thought Sam would argue against killing Gordon because he is still human. But Sam agrees. Gordon at this point is the kind of dangerous that no prison can hold down; the only option seems to be to kill him. Again we get to a point where it seems there is no choice. Gordon is already a monster before he gets transformed into one. Still, even though the Winchesters agreed on killing him, it would have changed the show drastically if they would have killed him while he still was a human. I think so far they never killed a human, it is a line they haven’t crossed yet.  Each time a human got killed it had been by an officer of the law. And this is because so far the brothers have been portrayed as heroes. This depiction will change in season four.

The theme of choice comes up again in the final fight between Sam and Gordon. Sam reminds Gordon that he still has a choice. This was the big theme of season two. That you don’t have to be evil, that you can be the master of your own fate, that there is always a choice and free will. And so it is fitting that Gordon who never believed that there could be any good in Sam (even though he never witnessed Sam doing something bad), but believed in destiny instead, fully merges into his role as monster. He kills innocents, even his friend Kubrick, to fulfil his last mission, the one last good thing he thinks he can do: killing Sam. He admits that he is no longer a hunter but a monster. He says he and Sam are alike, that they both have evil in them, but his actions show us that in the end he is the complete opposite of Sam.

And then Sam kills him. With a razor wire. Cut to 6x19 and Dean who retells this moment as one of his baby brother’s proudest. Sometimes this show doesn’t make sense.

On an unrelated note, Gordon talking about using his new vampire skills to do something good (= killing Sam) reminds me oddly enough of Garth, who wanted to use his werewolf powers to be a better hunter. I never thought I would compare Gordon and Garth. Garth wins. Every round.

Of course this wouldn’t be Spn without some emotional brother issues as well. And so the vampires aren’t just used as metaphors for choice and free will but also for family. Because they have nests, you know. Not so different from the Winchesters after all. And so our vampire/drug dealer serves as a parallel for Dean as well. Talking about facing eternity alone. About how he doesn’t care anymore. How he feels like he is already dead. Rings a bell, Dean? And Sam just stands there, watching as his life turns into a television episode with not so subtly concealed parallels. Ahem. Which of course gets us to the big emotional talk. Aka Sam telling Dean he has been looking up to him since he was four, always wanting to be like him. That he knows his brother better than anyone else. And that he wants nothing more than for Dean to drop the act, that he wants his brother back. Someone hold me now.

We end the episode with one of my favourite music moments: Bad Company’s “Crazy circles”. And Dean showing Sam how to fix the Impala, because he won’t be around forever. The whole scene had something about a father showing his kid all those things. And well we all know that Dean had been more like a father to Sam than his actual father. Which makes this even more heartbreaking.

Until next time and some Christmas shenanigans.

[nerdylittleshit]

Spn (hellatus) rewatch - Episode 3x06

Remember how the goal was to finish this during the hellatus? Yes? Yeah, me neither.

As always, includes spoilers for later seasons, up to 10x23.

3x06 Red sky at morning Or the one with ghost ships (not to be confused with shipping ghosts)

Ok, let’s all stop for a moment whatever you’re doing (unless it is reading this) and imagine an AU where the Winchesters helped Bela break her deal and learn about her past and over the years they stumble into each other and work together and form this weird kind of friendship, where they still not friendly to each other, but save each other asses. Also, because this is Bela, all of their cases take place in the high society and they all wear fancy suits and dresses. Imagine it. Because we do get a glimpse of it here and the glory of it. (Also, because this is a “Imagine Cas with character xy”-blog, imagine Cas with Bela. You’re done? Good.)

So let’s start this rewatch with the less interesting part: the motw. Ghost ships are just not my kind of thing (sorry Lizzy). I am convinced by now that the reason it was introduced is that during their investigation we learn that  Bela killed a family member, which obviously puts her into the villain category (until of course we eventually learn the reason for that and put her in a blanket instead). But still the monster or rather ghost feels weirdly unconnected to the Winchesters and their issues, even though we learn that the motive for our ghost were his very own brotherly issues. This is one of the episodes that next to “Bugs” and “Road 666” are always claimed to be the worst episodes of the show. I don’t think it was that bad, but still the motw-aspect is not doing any favours here.

This is another episode with Winchesters vs social class: it takes places in the high society and clearly the Winchesters don’t belong there. Still it seems that Sam fits in easier than Dean (just like in 1x19) and I always contribute this to his time in Stanford. I bet among his friends he was one of the few who got there with a scholarship; most of them were there because their parents could afford it, so Sam learned to fit in. We also see both Winchesters reduced to being sexual objects: Sam through Gertrude and Dean through Bela. And though this show very often displays moments that could be seen as sexual assaults or rape, I don’t think this episode fits in here. Sure they were uncomfortable (well, mostly Sam), but to me it felt as a reverse of the male gaze. Women live in world where they are constantly objectified, so this time the tables have turned. Of course the brother’s arc is continued as well. It starts in the beginning where we learn that Dean knows about Sam using the colt to kill a crossroad demon, which yeah, didn’t help anyone (except maybe Sam’s anger issues). They lay their issues to rest until the end, where we get Dean’s weird little speech about how Sam will continue living his life, how he is strong enough, and that Dean is sorry for putting him through this. And Sam is pissed. And really, can we blame him? Because just as he says instead of worrying about his brother he should start worrying about himself. He should give a crap about his own life. He should admit he is afraid of dying. He should start trying to break his deal as well. He will get there eventually and then it is almost too late. So Sam’s line earlier, that it seems lately he can’t save anybody, refers to this as well. He can’t seem to save his brother; but the most heartbreaking thing? Is that Dean doesn’t even want to be saved.

And we get to Bela aka the good stuff. I mentioned this before but rewatching season 3 is a complete different experience than watching it for the first time, if we just take characters like Ruby and Bela for example and knowing about their future (Ruby) and past (Bela). Knowing about Bela’s past makes the whole episode super painful. Like I wrote before it puts the whole she-murdered-a-family-member-aspect into a complete new angle. We also get this little exchange:

DEAN: Hey, Bela, how'd you get like this, huh? What, did Daddy not give you enough hugs or something?

BELA: I don't know. Your daddy give you enough? Don't you dare look down your nose at me. You're not better than I am.

Ouch. They have both been through the same (in both cases the abuse was hinted but never fully explored… although it is not necessary, nothing could be worse than what the viewer imagines). The difference of course is that Dean had Sam to look after, someone he was responsible for and worth taking sacrifices for. We also know that Bobby had been a part of the boy’s life very early, so that might have helped as well. Whereas Bela was completely alone, with nobody to turn to. It is implied that her parents were rich and probably very powerful as well, so even if some people were aware (like the housemaids for example) they wouldn’t say a thing and protect here. Bela asking for help is a big thing, because she learned that the only person she could ever rely on was herself. And with the Winchesters denying her help at first it just proves her right. Her traumatic childhood made it incredible hard for her to trust anyone, yet alone strangers. And her comment about them being nothing better than serial killers, motivated by nothing but revenge? That is her primary experience with hunters so far. They are driven by vengeance, brutal and violent. So I don’t think she looks down on them because of class-related motives but out of a deep internalized fear towards violent men.

Some unrelated things: Is there a reason they stayed in a house instead of a motel? They did this in season 7 when they were on the run but why here? Couldn’t afford a motel? Also, the moment Bela arrives this show becomes more British with all those Oscar Wilde and Dickens references. And then of course this episode is massive foreshadowing: first time Cain and Abel and Castiel are mentioned. Coincidence? No such thing. I bet there is a deeper meaning. I just haven’t found it yet.

[nerdylittleshit]

Spnhellatusrewatch - Episode 3x05

Includes spoilers for later seasons, up to 10x23. Though this is the last rewatch I will actually post during the hiatus, I will continue to tag them as “spnhellatusrewatch” and “spn hellatus rewatch”.

3x05 Bedtime stories Or the one where Disney got it all wrong

This episode was okay, I guess. I liked the theme of the fairy tales, but at the same time I felt like they could have done more with it. Now fairy tales in general are fascinating; those stories are hundred of years old, with a long oral tradition, before the brothers Grimm wrote them down to record what they found was an important part of their national culture. In many ways those were the first urban legends or at least the first that were written down and published, so that they could live on. And just as Sam mentioned a lot of those stories were sanitized, not only when they were made into Disney movies, but by the brothers Grimm already. They weren’t meant for children original, but as a moral compass for the adults. And I think it is impossible to tell a story about fairy tales without telling a story about storytelling as well. Like I wrote those stories have a long oral tradition, so there is never just one version of each story. They are also all part of a cultural heritage, without an author; those stories belong to everyone. It is therefore rather fitting that the next time this show features a fairy tale, Hansel and Gretel in 10x12, we learn that the story has been told wrong, or to say it with the theme of season 10: “The story became the story.” We do see this focus on the narrative in this episode as well, though not as explicit as in 10x12. Within the episode we see the darker tone of most of the stories, showing us the original version rather than the sanitized Disney version. And that is of course because we see these stories through Callie’s eyes: traumatized through the own horror she went through all she could see were the cruel aspects of those stories instead of the happily ever after. She found herself within a story, snow white, but unless her Callie never got her happy end, so none of her victims gets one either.

Along with the territory comes Dean-I’m-a-manly-man-Winchester, who asks his brother if he could be more gay, after realizing his brother knows his fairy tales. Projecting a bit much? Dean pretends that he doesn’t recognize any of the fairy tales, which I don’t buy for a second. Because I’m pretty sure Sam didn’t start reading fairy tales as an adult, he just heard them as a child and remembered them. And who if not Dean would have read those stories to him? (Because with everything we do know about John we can eliminate him.) It would have put him into the role of their mother, replacing her once again, and so Dean’s association with fairy tales being gay could be also interpret as being feminine (because the stereotype Dean grew up with certainly defined gay men as feminine). It is interesting then that when he refuses to kiss a frog Dean puts himself into a role of a woman, that of the princess. Today fairy tales are considered for children, and associated with the idea of romantic love as a happy ending. And just as Callie Dean never got his happy ending as well; he had to grow up too fast, forgetting about the magical appeal of those stories, and rebranded them as silly.

With Dr. Garrison we see a father who is unable to let his daughter go, and who still treats her as the child she once was, reading fairy tales to her. The ghost that appears of her still looks like her eight-year-old self; her spirit and her body don’t match, she is a child trapped in a body of an adult. The parallel of the story is quite clear: just as the doctor Sam is unable to let go Dean. What is interesting is that among the brothers Dean is the one who assumed the role of a parent, treating his younger brother ever so often as a child and showing an unwillingness to accept that Sam is an adult as well. And it was his inability to let Sam go that made him make the deal in the first place. Now we have a role reversal, it is Sam’s turn to save his brother, no matter the cost. But within the episode the question raises how to save someone who doesn’t want to be saved? Callie started to hurt people because her father was unable to give her the peace she demanded. Throughout the seasons we see the brothers dying more than once, always coming back from the dead, and the traumatic effect it had on their relationship. They never learned to let go, to grief, to cope with their loss. Instead their co-dependency got to the point where they are willing to sacrifice everything and everyone for each other (10x23).

The episode ends with Sam and the crossroad demon. She tries to hurt him with suggesting that Sam would be better off without Dean, stronger (hello boy king theme) and maybe even a bit relieved when he is gone. She calls Dean needy and desperate but here we see Sam acting this way. And though Sam tells her to shut up, it makes one wonder how much truth were in her words. Sam tells himself the story he needs to hear- fitting into the theme of the episode- that he is the good brother, saving Dean, repaying his debts for all the times Dean saved him. But even Sam is aware how dangerous this makes him, what lengths he would go. It proves in the cold murder of the demon; though her death was morally right it was untypical for Sam. And within our own fairy tale Sam transforms more and more from being the hero to becoming the villain.

[nerdylittleshit]

Spnhellatusrewatch - Episode 3x04

Includes spoilers for later seasons, up to 10x23.

3x04 Sin City Or the one where Dean is myth-taken

(Yes, I stole that joke from Buffy. Sue me)

This is one of those episodes I kinda forget about over the years but rewatching it I realized that it does a lot of groundwork for the mythology of the show. The most interesting part of this episode was the conversation between Dean and Casey, both trapped, and therefore forced to talk. Instead of the usual action sequence this talk changes the pace of the episode, slows it down, which is maybe why I forget about it. That means in no way it was a boring episode – quite the opposite – but different than the usual motw-episodes.

So where to start? Maybe with the sin city itself. Where, as it turns out, nobody was actually possessed except of two. Which tells you a lot about the human nature. And it repeats a theme from 3x01 where humans where described as animals. This season features demons quite more than we’re used to, with one of them as a recurring character as well. The reason is simple:  it is a result of the opening of one devils gate. But with that it also makes us constantly compare humans with demons, asking what is so different between them? The humans in this episode act in way several hunters believed them to be possessed. The actual demons turn out to be… well not nice, but in love. They’ve been together for centuries (maybe they were already a couple when they were still human) and Casey tells Dean that she doesn’t think he was weak for making the deal to save Sam. Maybe because she can understand the reason why he did it? Of course it comes full circle in 3x09 when Ruby reveals that every demon was a human once and that Dean will turn into the very thing he hunts once he goes to hell.

This is also the first episode written by Jeremy Carver, so we shouldn’t even be surprised by the homoerotic subtext. I’m talking about Richie of course. Who is also the second random hunter we met this season who won’t survive the episode (after Isaac in 3x01). There is something about him and Dean meeting that’s suggestive, at a time when Sam was at Stanford with no mention of John, implying he wasn’t around. They hunted a succubus, a kind of demon who seduces her victims in their sleep. And they are both hyper masculine or pretend to be (Richie in a way is an exaggerated version of douche!Dean). Also Richie introduced the girl in the beginning as his stepsister, and seconds later Dean introduces Sam as his brother. Which is true, but giving that Richie used the word “sister” to hide what she really was it implies that Dean did the same with Sam, or at least that is what Richie might have thought. In other words: Dean your bi is showing.

Like I said the most interesting part is the conversation between Dean and Casey, so let’s get back to that. We learn all kind of new things, for example that Yellow Eyes had a name, Azazel. And of course it is the first time Lucifer is brought up, and therefore angels as well. Of course at this point of the story it is all just a big myth, something some demons believe in, revealing they have faith as well (and isn’t it interesting that Dean admits he liked to believe in God? It’s not a total backflip, but you know… something). But it is important that Lucifer is introduced with this actual name, that Casey even corrects Dean when he calls him the devil, translating his name to light-bringer and telling the story of his fall and that he was an angel indeed. I know Eric Kripke didn’t originally wanted to add angels to the mythology but with this piece of information how could he told the story of Sam as Lucifers vessel without angels? There is more than one version of the devil, but here they chose this instead, the one with the fallen angel. In for a penny, in for a pound. With Lucifer as angel they couldn’t tell their story without adding angels to the mythology, and God knows I’m glad they did.

The other thing about Lucifer is that he is revealed as the father of all demons. Casey says he made them into what they are and that they believe he returns, bringing a new order with him (sounds familiar?). Little do they know about how Lucifer actually thinks of demons, not as his creations but rather as a big screw you to his father, with no hesitation to kill them if it serves his cause. If humans are beneath angels, and demons are beneath humans, than what are demons to an angel? But we see that demons and therefore hell has a certain hierarchy, that there is structure and order and somewhat common goal, not that different than the way heaven is organised. Some demons of course only do whatever they want but some follow a greater plan, ready to sacrifice themselves for their cause. Which again makes them more human then how it first appears. Also another time boy king Sam is mentioned. The way Father Gil talks to him, telling him it seems he could do great things, maybe applies to this, that some demons still believe Sam could lead them, as we learn that Sam was supposed to be Azazels second in command. (And then Father Gil calls Sam his brother’s keeper… massive foreshadowing? I say yes, just for shit and giggles) In the end both Casey and Dean want to spare each other; Casey because she might didn’t see Dean as a threat, Dean because he tell himself he wanted to save the girl the demon possessed.

Of course in the end Bobby and Ruby save the day. Ruby teaches them how to make bullets for the colt, giving them another weapon that could kill her, in an attempt to trust her. But then again she might wanted to use the colt to kill Lilith, who knows? Dean thinks that the way Sam killed the two demons was cold, wondering if something is wrong with him, if he indeed came back wrong from the dead, as Azazel told him in 2x22. Ruby on the other hand reminds Sam he has to do things he doesn’t want to, that there will be collateral damage, telling him she will be the little fallen angel on his shoulder (and isn’t that fitting now that we’ve heard about Lucifer for the first time). I wrote before that the tragic irony of Sams story is that after one season where we wonder if Sam can be saved and in the end he doesn’t give in like all the other special children did, he still will nurture his dark side. And it doesn’t happen after Dean dies but right here, in his desperate attempt to save his brother. This arc ends in 4x22 but it starts way sooner, Ruby leaving the bread crumbs that will turn Sam into the monster she needs him to be.

[nerdylittleshit]

Spnhellatusrewatch - Episode 3x03

As always includes spoilers for later seasons, up to 10x23.

3x02 Bad day at black rock Or the one where Robin lost his shoe

One of the many reason to love Ben Edlund (come back to us, please). This episode  is almost slap-stick-like, and the reason we can change the usual dark tone so much is its simply nature of a genre show: however weird the idea is, you can get away with it. No need for too much logic in a world where too many things are things. Which causes some iconic moments and an almost light hearted episode for this show. Of course good things never just happen like that, there is always a price to pay, so of course the rabbits food turns out to be really dangerous more than anything else. Never trust something that seems to be too good to be true.

This episode doesn’t focus so much on the brothers and the usual boy melodrama, instead we see the beginning of two arcs that will follow us around through this season: the threat Gordon still poses, and of course Bela. On the brothers side we learn that although Sam knows Rubys offer (she finally got a name) is a trick, he is desperate enough already to use every help he could get. We also learn that John used to have a storage locker and of course he never bothered to tell his sons about it (what a big surprise). It makes you wonder how many other hunters might used a storage locker as well:  a lot of them are always on the road, so what happens to them if they die? Just imagine an episode of storage wars full of lock-ups filled with cursed boxes and the likes. Anyway, Sam and Dean each find a memorabilia from their childhood their father kept: Sam a soccer trophy and Dean his first shotgun. Which is kinda characteristic for their childhoods, because unlike Dean Sam was allowed to have a childhood, if only for a brief time. Dean on the other hand spent his time making guns. He seemed enthusiastic enough finding it again, but from episodes like 9x07 we know that Dean didn’t experienced his childhood/teenage years as ideal, so I think once he accepted that he would never be something else than a hunter he forced himself to change this memories into something good. It’s such a small scene but still it tells you a lot about the brothers and their dad and how they grow up.

So Gordon. Who is still in prison, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be a threat for the brothers, especially Sam. Of course he works in this episode through Kubrick and Creedy. I actually found Kubrick an interesting character. He is very religious, on the edge to fanatic, and I wondered how many other hunters are like that? All the hunters we met so far seemed to be atheistic, and shared Deans approach on faith: they only believe in what they can see. But with all the evil they encounter some might hope there are good things as well. If the devil exists why not God? We know that the reason Sam believes is that he hopes there might be some sort of salvation for him, that he can be saved. We don’t explore the reasons for Kubricks faith that much, but we see him instantly believing in destiny when Sams bad luck leads him to him. It’s ironic that Kubrick, who is clearly intended to be a comical character, is right about a lot of things: there is a grand plan, a destiny and God, and though Sam might not be the antichrist himself he is his vessel. Close enough. With both Ruby and Gordon/Kubrick mentioning Sams powers again it is clear that the story we thought had ended with Yellow Eyes death continues. Also in the beginning of the episode, in Gordons conversation with Kubrick, the later mentions a devils gate has been opened, which sounded to me as if there are more than one. And how did Gordon knew about it in the first place? From the same demon he tortured to get information about Sam in the first place?

So let’s talk about Bela. Of course once you know about her past, about everything that happened to her and made her the woman we see now, it is impossible to rewatch her episodes and not see her in a completely different light. She is one the reasons I wish this season would have been longer; her complex story deserved more space, and it would have hopefully allowed to writers to go a bit deeper. But here she is and she is awesome. And British. Along with Crowley and Rowena every recurring character from the UK is evil. I wonder why that is. Ahem. With Bela the world of the supernatural gets a bit more diverse. Of course with objects like rabbits foot sooner or later there would be a black market, and people like Bela. Thieves. Pardon, great thieves. It makes you wonder how the brothers or Bobby usual get all the stuff they need to their job, for example ingredients for spells. And of course objects like the colt have a value you can’t express in money. That doesn’t mean some people don’t try it anyway. Unfortunately after season three we never see someone like Bela again, or mentions of a black market. In 9x18 we see there are shops who sell stuff hunters require (though we never see Sam or Dean shopping in one of those) and the MoL bunker is probably stuffed with all kind of things as well. Still, I think we saw in season two and three a lot of ideas to expand the world of the hunters, which are never used again.

All in all a great episode, which introduced some great ideas/themes the show unfortunately never sticked with.

[nerdylittleshit]

Spnhellatusrewatch - Episode 3x02

Contains spoilers for later episodes, up to 10x23.

3x02 The kids are alright Or the one that’s a giant nope

And with nope I mean the changelings. If someone would ask me what the creepiest episode/monster in the history of this show is this it would be. Creepy children always get me and those are by far the worst. The whole scene where the mom tries to drown her own child (and just imagine how terrified you must be to do this to your own daughter) and then she’s back still haunts me. I recently read a great meta about Supernatural and suburban gothic and I think this episode here displays it very well. There is certain stepford-vibe coming from the changeling-children; the way how they pretend to be normal kids, utterly dependent on their mothers, is frightening. Another aspect is that this kind of horror doesn’t have a place in the picture perfect world of the suburbs. When Katies mom tells Lisa about her suspicion that her daughter is not herself anymore Lisa is outraged. I think this also shows that in our society there is a big taboo for mothers to be anything than perfect, that means to love your children anything less than unconditional. Mothers aren’t allowed to speak bad about their children or in this case to be afraid of them. It is a perfect hunting ground for changelings because there is already an atmosphere of silence; they can be sure not to be caught because none of the moms would dare to speak about the change of their children in the first place.

This episode is ultimately about Dean, which is way I totally forget that Sam had a storyline as well, if only a short one. We learn that Sam knows nothing about his own familys history. Big surprise… said nobody ever. After two seasons where we witnessed John Winchesters great parenting this isn’t a big shocker. I think I wrote about it before that is kinda odd that the whole Winchester family is only dad and his two sons, no grandparents, aunts, uncles, the likes. John left everything behind, which utterly made his sons completely dependent on him; where else could they have turned to? It also reminds us that John probably never talked with his sons about their mom, never mentioned her friends or relatives. Other than that we meet Ruby again (who actually still has no name so far). Though she is revealed to be a demon it is kinda hard to hate someone who refers to fries as deep fried crack. Anyway the great thing about Ruby (no matter the meatsuit) is that we can never be quite sure if she really wants to help Sam or just manipulates him up until 4x22. Ruby is one of the most ambiguous characters until her final reveal, written in a way that it is really hard to tell her real motives, and it starts right here. And actually knowing her plan made rewatching her arc even more fun.

So let’s talk about Lisa and Dean, all right. Up to this episode they both remembered the other as part of a really great weekend (and just stop for a moment and imagine what they did that Lisa refers to Dean as the best night of her life…), but that’s it. Both change their perception of each other; Dean because suddenly Lisa is a mom, and Lisa because Dean turns out to be a hero (after she probably thought of him as creepy stalker and total nutjob… and who could blame her?). I wondered at the time what it was about Lisa that she had such an impact on Dean, when it was revealed he dreamed about her in 3x10 and she became his romantic endgame at the end of season 5. Why for example not chose Cassie with whom he had an actual relationship? Why Lisa? Because Lisa is a mom. Lisa not only represents the prospect of a long-term-relationship but that of a family and a real home. In the early seasons of this show women only existed in two categories: as mom-characters (Mary, Ellen) or as love interests. More simplified the sinner and the saint, a formula that actually emerges from the western genre. Most women are presented within the realm of hook-ups, making them the sinners. The first mom we saw represents the saint as no other; Mary (come on the name alone) in her white dress giving her life to protect her child. The moment Dean learns that Lisa is a mom he is making her a saint as well, idolizing her in the way he did with his mother. Lisa becomes quite literary his dream girl. And at least for me the tragedy of season 6 is that once Dean got his apple pie life I think he was more in love with the idea of Lisa than with the woman herself. This is also shown in the way that Lisa never exists without Ben. Dean (and therefore we) never sees her as a person of her own but only ever as a mom/part of a family. The outstanding detail of Lisa is the fact that she has a child, and though it is established he is not Deans the idea that he could be manifests in his mind. They represent the life he could have had, and this time it is not only out of reach to him because of his life as a hunter but because of the deal he made. Even if he gave up his life as a hunter he still can’t have this life. It is interesting that the theme of the apple pie life and Deans secret wish to have exactly this are more prominent in seasons where he thinks he is about to die: in season 3, 5 and 10. Although things have changed a bit in season 10; after his year with Lisa Dean realized that this life isn’t for him, still he expresses the wish for changes in 10x16, while not to settle down to have a long-term-relationship for certain. Either way this is a great episode that simultaneously explores the horror of the suburbs and Deans rather complicated desires to be a part of something he actively rejected for the better part of his life. Hold my feels.

[nerdylittleshit]

Spnhellatusrewatch - Episode 3x01

Trigger warning for talking about depression and suicide!!!

Includes spoilers for later seasons, up to 10x23.

3x01 The magnificent seven Or the one where nobody wants to play with Winchesters anymore

Off to season 3. I’m not a huge fan of this season, I admit it, and part of it is that they probably couldn’t tell their story the way they wanted with only 16 episodes and had to make a lot of compromises. I also got the feeling this season is somewhat brighter, regarding the general colour scheme, but maybe that’s just my opinion. Anyway, here we are, with the gates to hell opened and Dean with one year to live.

Let’s talk about the seven deadly sins first. I have to admit I kinda expected more. I’ve seen the deadly sins featured in several shows and I general like them and what they represent, so I was excited once I realised what we’re dealing with. But although they had some powers regular demons don’t have they weren’t that impressive. The whole fight/showdown either wasn’t that thrilling. The most interesting aspect was Envys little speech, telling us that after all the sins just represent natural human instincts. We all carry at least one of the sins with us, but what makes us human after all is that we’re fighting them on a daily base, trying not to give in and behave above our instincts. Id and super-ego if you want. Also Pride knew who Sam was, calling him the prodigy and boy king. That’s interesting because in 2x21 and 2x22 it seemed as all of the special children could have taken upon this role, though Yellow Eyes wasn’t lying when he said Sam was his favourite. And Greed seemed to know Ruby (who isn’t introduced as Ruby yet). This is some foreshading for the great plan. I wonder if Ruby was a big name downstairs? Either way, both Sam and Ruby are well-known to big names as the deadly sins, though it is later (in 4x22) revealed that nobody knew the exact extent of Rubys plan. Also the show used women fighting over shoes to show us Envys powers which is just a really bad clichee.

Tamara and Isaac. I think this is the first we see a married couple as hunters on this show (and the last time). Of course they have a tragic backstory. Of course Bobby knows them. And it seems word travels fast in the hunter community, as they already know the Winchesters were responsible for opening the gates of hell. Which is why they don’t want to work with them. Given how many seasons and episodes this show has there is overall a lack of hunters working together with them, most of them recommended by Bobby. I wonder what kind of reputation they have by now. Isaac is the first casualty caused by the Winchesters and a painful reminder of how big the mess is they started.

Speaking of the amount of demons now free that might be a reason they introduced Rubys knife. Otherwise half of the episodes they would be doing exorcisms. Though as this episode reminds us some people survive demonic possession. The knife might be a faster way to kill them (and as it seems they are gone for good and not just sent back to hell) but by killing them that way they always kill a human too. After the Colt Rubys knife is another wonder weapon, although the Colt is useless by now without the bullets. I think over the years we kind of forget how rare this kind of weapon is, until Henry Winchester came back and reminded us. Of course it is part of Rubys plan; by giving Sam and Dean such a powerful weapon she wants to gain their trust, making herself vulnerable at the same time, and so in an ironic twist she is killed in the end by her own knife.

And now we come to Dean. I already wrote in my recap of season 2 about Deans ongoing depression and his suicidal state and that this in the end made him make the deal (as well as his inability to live without his brother). In this episode he states again how tired he is, repeating a theme from 2x09 and 2x20. In 2x09 he was ready to die with Sam, and in 2x20 he expressed how tired he is of his life as a hunter, how he sacrificed enough. Here we have a Dean who acts carefree most of the time, even willing to take great risks during their case, because he is going to die anyway. He states at the end that he feels good, for the first time in a long time, and though it seems bizarre given his situation I don’t think he is lying, or at least not completely. Of course a great part of it is denial, but that is not all. In many ways Deans deal can be interpret as a suicide pact. It is quite common that people who suffer from depression seem to improve once they set the plan to kill themselves, acting happier and more carefree. In their eyes their pain will finally come to an end*. And this is exactly how we see Dean here. He refers to it as a light at the end of the tunnel. Ever since the aftermath of 2x01 he felt wrong, with the knowledge that he should have died and that his father died for him. By making the deal he sets things right and saved his brother as well, giving his life a worth he didn’t feel before by exchanging it for something he believes is worthier than he could ever be. Sam of course relives now everything Dean felt the previous season, knowing his brother is going to die and he’s the reason why. It’s gonna be a though ride.

*I’m not an expert, I just read several articles where this kind of behaviour was explained. Of course every person who suffers from depression behaves different and individual.

[nerdylittleshit]

Spnhellatusrewatch - Recap season 2

Recap Season 2

I have to admit that for years I always considered season 1-3 of Supernatural (also known as the Cas-less years) as not that interesting. It wasn’t until my rewatch that I realized that season 2 is indeed rather great (still not a huge fan of season 1 and season 3 still feels odd to me, but maybe because they had to tell their story not in the way they wanted with the writers strike and everything). While season 1 still searched for its voice and was written to attract a more general audience, season 2 is more characteristic. We know the characters by now, and now it is time to focus more on the mythology. The story of the special children wasn’t that new considering the genre and neither were the questions of identity and morality asked within this arc. Still it was played out good. The mix between mytharc-episodes and motw-episodes was balanced out rather well and I think we saw in this season a formula that by now became somewhat typical for this show, whereas themes from said mytharc or rather from the emotional arc of each character are going to be paralleled in the motw-episodes. It is of course a structure we see in many other shows as well, though I don’t remember that it has been used that much in season 1.

At the end of season 2 we finish the mytharc that started in season 1, which makes it one of the few mytharcs that span over more than one season (Deans MoC-arc did this as well). With the dead of Yellow Eyes it felt that this storyline ended for good and with opening the gates of hell we started a new one as well. But I think with the beginning of season 4 we kinda come back to it, with Sam giving in to his dark side, finally using his powers and then of course in season 5 with the revelation of his status as Lucifers vessel and the realization how big and complex Yellow Eyes plan was after all. I wrote about in my rewatch for 2x22 before that this is the tragic irony of this story, that after a season where we wonder if Sam can be saved, and after the end of said season we think that yes he was, he will still eventually break. This show was always about family but it also shows us the desperate lengths one can go in order to save their family.

This season also introduced us to the idea of a hunter community, with the introduction of Ellen and Jo (and the roadhouse) and with giving Bobby more space/upgrading him to a recurring character. I really liked this concept and then they burned down the roadhouse and kinda dropped this idea until season 5 where we finally see Ellen & Jo again (in a cruel twist of careful what you wish for). We also met Gordon Walker, showing us hunters come in all kind of flavours.

Speaking of Gordon, I mentioned before that this season dealt with themes of identity and morality. One constant theme was the monstrosity of humans and that supernatural doesn’t always equals evil. We met several evil humans, though the show avoided that the Winchesters killed one of them (that was usually an officer of the law), up to 2x22 where Sam killed Jake, asking the question if Sam might came back wrong from the dead (of course within the special children story the question remained how human they were after all). The show left the black-and-white-morality of the first season and showed us the complexity of being a hunter and that sometimes it seems impossible to make the right choice.

Another theme was the law and with Victor Hendriksen finally someone smart enough to chase the Winchesters. This theme has been somewhat dropped in the later seasons, though realistically the Winchesters should be still in a constant conflict with the law. I really liked this extra complication of their life because it made their lives more realistic.

The most tragic storyline was Deans ongoing depression and the knowledge that he should have been dead/that his father died for him along with the burden to save Sam or kill him otherwise. It’s Dean suicidal state that leads him to make a deal in 2x22, that makes him say he finally sees the light at the end of the tunnel in 3x01. I personally think this storyline isn’t resolved until the end of season 3, where we have Dean finally admitting that he doesn’t want to die. His mourning process takes time and his depression doesn’t disappear by miracle. It shows his struggle and efforts in a realistic manner and for that I’m grateful.

Favourite episodes:

1. 2x20 What is and what should never be 2. 2x01 In my time of dying 3. 2x15 Tall tales

Favourite Quote: “Your happiness for all those people's lives, no contest. Right?' But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? What about us, huh?” (dean, 2x20 What is and what should never be)

Favourite Music Moment: The Animals – House of the rising sun (used as theme in 2x16)

Favourite recurring character: The Roadhouse gang (Ellen, Jo & Ash)

[nerdylittleshit]

Spnhellatusrewatch - Episode 2x22

Includes spoilers for later seasons, up to 10x23.

2x22 All hell breaks loose part two Or the one were Winchester family issues ruined the world

More dark plans are revealed and finally we get some Winchester manpain. It is interesting that as much as the mytharc is centered around Sam the emotional arc is almost completely carried by Dean. I wrote before that 2x20 in a way works as preparation for this episode: we got a look into Deans state of mind, seen how tired he was of the life he has and that he thinks he has given enough. It’s repeating here with Deans “You don't think I've given enough? You don't think I've paid enough? I'm done with it”. Of course he doesn’t just mean his life as hunter but his life in general; Deans djinn-dream wasn’t so much about his own happiness but rather that his family was safe and alive. Even more so, he refers to it as his job; the only job he ever had: keeping Sam safe. That’s what his whole life focus on since he was four years old, and everything else, every dream he had for himself, can never be as important as this. And after his fathers death it became even more his fix point; he couldn’t save his dad but he can save his brother. Losing his brother feeds his innermost fear: that in the end everyone he loves will leave him, that he is not worthy enough, that it is his fault they are dead (Sam on the other hand thinks everyone around him dies because deep down he is evil/cursed… same issues, different reasons).  We even get to the point where Dean, after he made the deal, tells Bobby that finally his life was worth something. By making the deal in 2x01 John gave Dean a gift he never wanted, instead it filled him with guilt, knowing his father died for him, believing he never deserved to still live while his father was in hell. By making a deal now Dean can trade this gift again, finally his live is worthy something, he can exchange it in order for Sams life. Deans knows firsthand how it feels to live with the fact someone made such a huge sacrifice for you, how it can tear you apart, but here he does the very same thing to Sam. In the end it’s not only the loss of Dean in 3x16 but the knowledge that Dean died for him that brings Sam to embrace his dark part; unless Dean in this season he has nobody left to carry that burden with him.  And that’s the tragic irony of this episode; even after all the other special children died, after Yellow Eyes is dead, after it seems as Sam was saved, he still fulfils his destiny in freeing Lucifer and becoming his vessel (story twist: he also saved the world). Everyone breaks eventually, and for Sam it’s when he lost his brother.

Jake on the other hand agrees to work for Yellow Eyes because of the threat to his family, though later as he got the colt and had the chance to kill Yellow Eyes he didn’t because of the promise Yellow Eyes offered him: that of wealth and a bright future. I think it made Jake a bit shallow; up to that point his motivation was understandable, though we didn’t like the fact he killed Sam we could see why (and yeah it is the very same reason why Dean made a deal, so don’t judge). Anyway, Jake was seduced by a bit more than Turkish delight, opens the gates of hell and is a bit surprised to see good old Sam again. In the long history of Winchesters coming back from the dead this doesn’t happen that often. I mean Dean was officially dead for four months during season three and four but obviously word doesn’t travel that fast in the hunter community because nobody seemed that surprised to see him again. Maybe they all know that cheating death is kinda their thing. Also Jake was able to control Ellen before he died. How was that possible? He said he was giving in, not fighting his powers anymore (just as Ava before), but is that all? I mused in my rewatch for 2x21 if Ava had started drinking demon blood; if Jake did the same thing he didn’t had much time for it. Or were their powers tied to Yellow Eyes and after his death Sam needed a new source of power to train his abilities? After all Sam was never able to control a human or a demon like Ava did in 2x21. Sam killing Jake also led to the question if Sam came back 100% pure from the death; within the episode the question is asked by yellow eyes to provoke Dean, but with episodes like 3x11 and 3x15 and then Sams whole season four arc it’s worth thinking about it (then again Sam might always had a dark side within him and it is only within the prospect of losing his brother and after his actual loss that we see that side of him).

Overall I really liked the idea of the giant devils trap, the colt as a key to open the gates of hell and that it needed a human corrupted by demons to do so (I also forget there was a time in the Spn universe where the gates of hell weren’t open and demons weren’t an average thing). Thanks Ellen for helping figuring it out (all hail the pretzel angel) and the writers for not killing her. And Johns arc had some sort of conclusion (did he go to heaven? Are shitty abusive fathers allowed in heaven? But then again they let Kevin Lay in as well).

In an epic season finale we saw how one single persons decision can change the fate of the world. If Dean never made the deal he would have never went to hell and broken the first seal, and Sam would have never become desperate enough to start drinking demon blood and break the last seal, Lucifer would have never been freed, the apocalypse never started, both of them were never vessels. Without Johns deal in the first place Dean wouldn’t even be alive to make other deals and John was only around because of deal Mary made. Part of her deal was of course to agree to let Yellow Eyes in Sams crib, leading to her death. Without her death none of her family would have maybe become desperate enough to gave their lives to save each other. The greatness of Yellow Eyes as a villain is how he used the love of this family for his very own interests, how he found out exactly how to break them and make them do what he wants. Or to say it in his own words:  “I couldn't have done it without your pathetic, self-loathing, self-destructive desire to sacrifice yourself for your family.”