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squadrah · 7 months
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☆ La Squadra as Cards of the Major Arcana, Part I (Part II) ☆
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squadrah · 7 months
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☆ La Squadra as Cards of the Major Arcana, Part II (Part I) ☆
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squadrah · 7 months
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Been thinking about this, but which members of La Squadra would be childfree(have almost or completely no interest in having children) and which would like to have a family(if given the chance)? And how big of a family?
Not my forte, but I'll do my best!
Risotto: He strikes me as the type that, given the chance, would have settled down to continue his family's business and had at least one child. I headcanon that he was an only child because being a large baby, the pregnancy and birth was quite difficult and his parents decided not to risk another one. If he faced the same risk with his first child, he would stop at one to spare his partner, but if size was not an issue, he would be content to have several children.
Formaggio: On paper, he is definitely childfree, and had probably bailed on relationships with partners who either started entertaining the idea of having children together, or were too relaxed about contraceptives. He's too independent and carefree to actually want children of his own, and yet if he had to babysit, he would find that he's actually quite good with children, and from there it might not be out of the question with the right partner to have some.
Prosciutto: He is fully capable of being a provider and mentor to children, but having any of his own is not a priority to him in the slightest, and he would not be enticed to make any in order to start a family. Children would have to happen to him in the form of say, becoming acquainted with a worthy child who is up for adoption, or an unexpected pregnancy popping up with a partner that he is firmly committed to. Would definitely draw the line at two.
Pesci: He thinks children are fine and it must be nice to have a family, but he is too self-conscious about passing down his genes and doubts his own ability to take on such a huge responsibility and be a good parent whether his child turns out typical or not, so he tends to play it safe and never really think about it. It would take a very capable and confident partner for him to risk it, and even just one child would be quite nerve wrecking for him to handle.
Ghiaccio: He is in a similar boat to Pesci, but he is much more firmly childfree on account of having his hands full just trying to manage his own temper and energy in a constructive manner. He's also in the camp of "why bring more children onto this bitch of an earth" so he would equally scoff at any of the others expressing interest. I tend to headcanon him as asexual on top of everything else, so the idea of having sex to have children would be quite repulsive to him.
Melone: He is more chill about the idea than the others in the sense that with his disabilities, children are mostly out of the question, but if he managed to have one, he would probably be excited... at least until said child entered their defiant phase, at which point he would start wondering why he ever thought this would be a good idea. He's basically the reverse of Formaggio: on paper children sound good, and then they say no to him once and he's done forever.
Illuso: His opinions are mixed. As a middle child from a numerous family, he knows first hand how messy children can be, and he's not exactly in the right place mentally or emotionally to start a family. On the other hand, he loves drama and would probably get a kick out of observing his own children have blowouts, as long as he didn't have to deal with any of it. Three would be plenty, and he fantasizes about them tearing each other apart over the inheritance.
Sorbet: Absolutely agrees with Ghiaccio about it being cruel to bring more children into life's great shit show, and his frugal nature also rejects the idea on financial grounds. He is probably the most normal about being childfree - you will not find him having arguments either for or against, and if pressed, he will dismiss any attempts with it being a personal preference and his choice. The most he could tolerate is being an uncle, as long as the child liked plants and opera.
Gelato: He, on the other hand, loves children, and not just the idea of them one way or another. To him they are as precious as kittens and puppies are to most people, and he really enjoys their company because kids are very honest and also little freaks with unique ideas and views. If he could, he would have a gaggle about him at all times, but he is also one of the worst enablers ever, so it's probably a good thing that he can't go out and start a family of his own.
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squadrah · 1 year
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The Menacing Mafia Guide To Troubled Hitmen (x)
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squadrah · 9 months
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So you had two asks about La Squadra being toddlers, but what about them being old/older men? Maybe in their 40-50's or as senile old people. And my mind ain't exactly wondering there, but what do you think they'd be like as dilfs?
I managed to find an old post where I was asked what they would be like as old man: here it is! You also reminded me that I had once written about them as parents in general, and I could have sworn I published it, but I ended up finding it at last in my drafts, so I'll make sure to queue it after publishing this ask!
That just leaves the question at the end, ehe... I will try to do these from the perspective of a young adult, probably a friend of their child(ren), while they themselves are in their forties and fifties.
Risotto: His sheer size and deep voice are already enough to set the butterflies aflutter, so the way he wears sleeveless shirts and dirty overalls at home is almost too much. He is best observed in the garage where he enjoys quietly working with power tools, and nobody can look at his work table without imagining him sweeping off the clutter to make room for them instead...
Formaggio: He ages so gracefully he looks like he could still be in his thirties, but the way he cracks open a cold one while giving clever responses and showing at least basic knowledge of just about any topic introduced hints at decades of experience in a variety of areas. Whenever he playfully manhandles his spouse in the kitchen, guests cannot help but chug their own cold beverages in vain.
Prosciutto: Never seen without his signature dress shirts and crisp trousers, and when he's around, the temperature always drops enough that all unnecessarily noise and frolic dies down. Most agree they would not want to live with him as their father, the bar is just too high in that respect, but nobody would mind him in a hotel chair with a bourbon in his hand and ordering them to get to work...
Pesci: At first he seems nothing special, especially because he's not much respected by his children, but as soon as he easily lifts something that he ought to struggle with at his size, and tells you how much he think it weighs by touch, the magic begins, and those who have gone on fishing trips with him on the weekend and watched him reel in that big bass are now smitten for life.
Ghiaccio: Whenever you meet him, he's either preparing to go for a run or has just returned from it all sweaty and glistening, and no real decrease of stamina to show for it. Going to the gym with him is a rite of passage; he will explain every machine and challenge you to various feats of endurance. Spotting is obligatory, and many hit the showers afterwards in greater frustration than they began.
Melone: That one anon ask of "your dad looks gnc af" sums him up perfectly, he is so impeccably and unabashedly A Look and An Icon that all his various issues are easily buried in a tidal wave of gender envy and lust. His children are so confident and well-educated when it comes to sex that their friends can only imagine what a wealth of experience could be gained from the fountain head.
Illuso: He always lets his luscious long hair down at home, physically and metaphorically, and exudes such minor soap opera antagonist vibes that his heckling his children and spouse come off as almost entertaining, a good example of how much people forgive to a pretty face and a nice tall figure. He's not above teasing his guests either, and you will either hate him for it or want to kiss him.
Sorbet: He's not conventionally attractive and seems to love his plants more than his children, but he has a certain Addams Family aesthetic about him that carries his dry wit and odd ways perfectly, especially when he's trimming his bonsai or is outside gardening in the shade in special gloves and up to his neck in dirt. You are welcome to indulge his obscure opera obsession, but watch out.
Gelato: That one extremely friendly dad that claps you on the shoulder and shoves a drink into your hand as soon as (and even before) you hit drinking age, and is always two seconds away from hugging you and kissing you on both cheeks in a fit of camaraderie and general mirth. Watching him grill sausages and cook in a big outdoor cauldron permanently changes your brain chemistry.
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squadrah · 1 year
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Everyone’s favorite store at the mall? 👀🛍️
Risotto: Large scale sports stores because nobody will bat an eyelid at his size (and only the more courageous clerks will try to assist him) and if he wants anything, he is sure to find something to fit him.
Formaggio: Toy stores for the fun factor like looking at novelty decks, juggling small items to amuse kids, or heckling parents who are too uptight to get dolls for their sons or robots for their daughters.
Prosciutto: Book stores, and he will spend all of his time skimming through whatever has caught his interest. He often gets through dozens of books before purchasing a single one to throw a bone.
Pesci: Newspaper kiosks so he can check whatever comics are available while also excitedly browsing newspapers and magazines for headlines that could be used as conversation starters later.
Ghiaccio: Shoe stores, and he usually sticks to the sports section there to inspect sneakers and trainers, stimming on the materials as he goes. Tends to line up and meticulously rank his best finds.
Melone: Stationery stores because he cannot resist novelty pens and crisp, clean notebooks. Always ends up buying something when he already has more than he will ever use (they make good gifts, so).
Illuso: Large scale clothing stores where there are plenty of mirrors to move about because it gives him space to disappear and he can put on a fashion show inside without having to wait for fitting rooms.
Sorbet: The home improvement store where he can fantasize about how his ideal home would look if he could afford it, and if he has company, he will do snarky reviews of random items for fun.
Gelato: The lottery booth, not just because he enjoys buying tickets but also because he loves to chat it up with folks trying their luck there and have a consolation drink after if they're down for it.
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squadrah · 11 months
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What would be each of La Squadra's biggest regrets?
Risotto: It's a tie between necessarily cutting ties with his family after he avenged his cousin and not realizing sooner that Sorbet and Gelato were flying too close to the sun with their snooping.
Formaggio: When he thinks about his mother and all her hopes for him turning into someone respectable and admirable, he gets a really sour taste in his mouth despite not minding how his life panned out.
Prosciutto: He sometimes wonders if he could have destroyed or killed his abusers sooner than he did, and regrets that he had complied for so long with the people who made his life hell.
Pesci: His biggest regret always revolves around having disappointed someone, from his family to the various small time gangs he chased after and now his team for life. Always mourning his failures there.
Ghiaccio: He could have received a full education but couldn't complete his studies because he got expelled and then joined the mafia, and he still feels shame over this making him look stupid.
Melone: His state of health preventing him from pursuing all of his different interests. He's neutral on his own issues, but every time they get in the way he feels regret that he's not strong enough.
Illuso: He used to dream of becoming a famous celebrity, with all the glory and riches that entails, and he sometimes regrets not taking bigger and bolder risks that could have landed him that life.
Sorbet: He regrets his entire lineage all the way back to the first poor schmuck to land with the debt that would plague the family for generations, and wishes he had been born elsewhere.
Gelato: Like Melone, he wishes he could have done more. By the devil he had done all he could and his health was no obstacle, but his (never written down) bucket list was too long for his short life.
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squadrah · 1 year
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one unexpected/out of character thing they did once, then never again.
Risotto: Spent several minutes trying to squeeze himself between heavy furniture because he dropped a pen knife in there and forgot in his frustration that he could have just magnetized it.
Formaggio: Instead of shrugging off Illuso's jabs at him as nonchalantly as possible, he went on an angry philosophical diatribe that lasted almost ten minutes and left everyone confused.
Prosciutto: Opened the fridge, grabbed the milk carton, chugged it, must have swallowed at least four times before he spat out the rest, and then he put the carton back in the fridge.
Pesci: One fine day he had a sudden burst of confidence and subtly challenged Ghiaccio to something minor and dared give him a condescending look when he was winning. (He won.)
Ghiaccio: He actually gritted his teeth in frustration when Pesci gave him that condescending look and ended up losing to him. He only walked up to Pesci and smacked him two hours after the fact.
Melone: Was idly listening while the others were having a pseudo-scientific debate, and when one of them asked for his opinion, he said, "I don't find it very interesting, sorry."
Illuso: One time Formaggio was feeling down, and he walked up to him, gave him a beer from the fridge, patted him on the back and said some genuinely kind words, then disappeared for two days.
Sorbet: Came down one day in mismatched socks, and throughout the day he clearly changed them up several times between apperances, but they were always mismatched.
Gelato: Turned down an invitation to his favorite bar without any explanation given. They later spotted him in the bar nearest to his favorite bar, drinking alone at a corner table.
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