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aemiron-main · 2 years

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HUGE MIKE REALIZATION HES SO SCREWED IN S5 OH MY GOD

OHHHHHH FUCK. EVERYTHING IVE BEEN TALKING ABT LATELY WITH HOW MIKE’S QUEERNESS IS TIED TO HIS GUILT OVER PEOPLES’ DEATHS/LOSING THEM?? SUCH AS IN THIS POST?? well not only does it tie to eddie and tie to el like i just talked abt in the replies of this post with @heroesbyler but it also ties to bob. to be extremely clear i am not saying that mike ever had romantic feelings for bob because he didn’t. what i AM saying is that mike may feel guilt for bob’s death that are tied to his queerness via mike’s gay feelings for will.

like think about it. mike was desperately trying to warn those soldiers that it was a trap. MIKE is the one who will told about his murder plan first. Mike actually prompted Will to talk, going “what’s wrong? are you hurting again?” and then Will says “I saw something,” and mike goes “in your now memories?”. He’s the one prompting Will, in mike’s mind, he might have been responsible for giving will the idea to look at his now memories. He was trying to help Will, he saw that Will was just sort of sitting there in a daze and was trying to HELP, calling will’s name and trying to see what’s happening, make sure he’s okay, asking him what’s wrong. But in mike’s mind, his attempts to help just ended up hurting, just like how his feelings for people end up getting them killed/hurting them. Mike, thinking that if maybe he wasn’t so blinded by his feelings for will/queerness, he could’ve looked at will more critically and realized what was going on. Mike is the one who realized that will is the spy, but he feels like he’s the one who failed to realize it. He’s the one who came up with the idea to sedate Will, but he may also feel responsible for the fact that Will has to be sedated in the first place, that he was too blinded by his own feelings for Will and trust in Will to see what was going on- and not only did this result in the soliders and Bob getting hurt/dying, but it also resulted in WILL getting hurt, in WILL almost dying (he would’ve died if they closed the gate). Maybe if they didn’t need to sedate Will, maybe if Mike had noticed sooner, before possessed!Will could get away with his plan, maybe if Mike hadn’t literally prompted Will to talk about his plan, then maybe the demodogs wouldn’t have been called to the surface, and Bob wouldn’t have been killed by them. Maybe if Mike hadn’t been so happy that Will recognized him, then he would’ve been more focused on being concerned about will *not* recognizing other people. Maybe if Mike had been able to figure out Will’s map of drawings at the Byers house, Bob wouldn’t have needed to be involved, maybe if Mike was just a little bit smarter, had paid a little bit more attention in class or looked a little bit closer at a map of Hawkins once. So now mike also feels responsible for will’s guilt and will being in danger/almost dying and the soldiers’ deaths AND bob’s death and that feeling of responsibility/guilt is tied to his queerness AGAIN. Plus, the shed scene: the shed was Mike’s idea. And it helped! It worked, initially! But then because they were in the shed, Will could hear the phone ringing. Mike, seeing it not as a success for himself, but a failure, because maybe if he hadn’t suggested the shed, maybe if they took Will somewhere else, he wouldn’t have known where they were, because he wouldn’t have heard the phone ring. Mike’s intelligence and love for the people around him SAVES them constantly, but he sees it as hurting them. He only sees the way that he hurts people. And vecna is going to use this against him in s5. Mike doesn’t have one big moment of guilt or one main person who died/got hurt because of him and his queerness. He has this huge, layared amalgamation of many, of all of those moments, of El and Eddie and Will and Bob and the soliders and everyone. It’s death by a thousand cuts and Henry’s going to deliver the final one in s5. Hell, these are just a few examples of this sort of thing with mike, there’s SO many more examples of how his queerness, in his mind, intertwines with peoples’ deaths. Remember that scene of Mike staring at Will’s lips while quietly telling max to stay away from the door when Billy’s in the sauna? I didn’t really understand at first why they chose to write that scene the way that they did except to hammer home that mike is gay/distracted by his feelings for Will, but why not just show that at another time? Why show it in such a high-stakes situation to the point where it almost becomes comical? Because it links mike’s queerness to other people getting killed/hurt. Mike is so busy staring at Will that he doesn’t warn Max loudly or fast enough. And then everyone is put in danger once Billy breaks out. Mike, thinking about how maybe if he hadn’t been so distracted, if he’d been faster or louder, maybe Billy wouldn’t have broken out, if he’d been stronger when standing up against Billy, maybe he could’ve stopped him. This also gets MIKE hurt though, but mike doesn’t CARE about that, doesn’t care to the point where he doesn’t even register it. Mike gets his head bashed against a pipe by Billy, but that doesn’t matter to him, he only sees how his queerness is hurting other people, he doesn’t see or care how people are hurting him. But how do i know that Mike is making these connections in his brain? That he’s connecting himself in all of these ways that i’ve mentioned? You might be thinking “well em you’re just assuming that mike’s brain works like that. how can you demonstrate it?” How can I demonstrate that this is how Mike’s brain works/that he is likely to make these connections to himself and how his queerness intertwines with getting people hurt/killed? Well, let’s look at the Wheeler family dynamic. t’s summed up best by Ted: “What did i do?” The wheeler family fucking sucks at communication. They don’t tell their kids or eachother what they’ve done wrong and what they can do to make it right. They’re passive agressive, they give cold shoulders and silent glares. Instead, Mike and Ted are both left wondering what they’ve done. Which forces Mike to try and figure it out instead of people telling him. Which pushes his brain towards making all of those connections. And no wonder Mike acts out so much: he’s hoping that somebody will finally get mad enough at him to just TELL HIM what he’s doing wrong! We see this at rink o mania too! He literally ASKS will “why is this on me? why am i the bad guy?” He’s ASKING HE WANTS TO KNOW WHAT HE DID WRONG. USUALLY HE JUST TRIES TO FIGURE IT OUT AND EVENTUALLY FINDS A REASON FOR IT TO BE HIS FAULT BUT THIS TIME?? HE CANT FIND ONE HE HAS TO ASK. He doesn’t even fucking clap back at will and say that it was will’s fault, he doesn’t defend himself and say that he ISN’T the bad guy, he ASKS WHY HE IS. JESUS CHRIST MICHAEL DO YOU HAVE NO SELF ESTEEM OR SENSE OF SELF WORTH?? HE JUST ASSUMES THAT ITS HIS FAULT BUT HE AT LEAST WANTS TO KNOW WHY BECAUSE EVEN HIS SELF LOATHING BRAIN CANT FIGURE OUT A WAY TO MAKE IT HIS FAULT THIS TIME BECAUSE HE DID CALL HE CALLED SO MANY TIMES. “Do you see what happens, Michael?” “What happens when what? Again, Mike is forced to answer the question himself, the wheeler family dynamic literally fosters that guilt and personal responsibility spiral. It’s also a personal representation of the individualistic nature of capitalism and how capitalism fosters a sense of individualism which leads to a sense of personal responsibility for things that aren’t a single person’s fault + purposefully stifles organized change and cooperation. Mike is forced to wonder what Ted meant, and it’s no surprise that after that dinner scene, we get a scene of Mike in the basement saying to Lucas that he’s worried about Will: because mike has been ruminating about what happened to Will, about what ted meant, trying to figure out what ‘what’ isnt, figure out the answer to ‘do you see what happens,’ trying to figure out WHAT HAPPENED, trying to figure out ‘what happens when what?’. And Mike has such a deep sense of personal responsbility for things and also a deep sense of justice and wanting to make things right: he doesn’t like to lie, he wants to resolve the conflict with lucas in s1. But then he starts feeling like he can’t make things right, ESPECIALLY in s4. He DOESN’T resolve things with lucas and hellfire. He DOESN’T properly resolve things with El or with Will, there’s still that tension with both of them. He still WANTS to make things right even though he’s failing at it and feels like he CANT, just because he isn’t doing it doesn’t mean he doesn’t WANT to anymore.

So he’s desperate when it comes to making things right. Especially since he feels like it’s his fault that it’s wrong. Mike stands up against injustice that isn’t even his fault (see: the bullies making fun of will, it’s not mike’s fault that will’s gay (smthn smthn ‘its not my fault that you dont like girls’ smthn smthn mikes sense of personal responsibility and guilt is REALLY starting to beat his ass in s3), so when the injustice IS his fault/he feels like it is, it really hurts him, he REALLY wants to make it right, which gets even more terrifying for him with the fact that again, he feels responsibility for things that aren’t even his fault. And desperate times call for desperate measures. And sacrificing himself in s5? That’s a desperate measure. Mike feels as if he’s hurt so many people so any times, like i said, its an amalgamation of things, not just one event. And so, he KNOWS that he can’t make up for every single one of them individually, can’t make up for those deaths or those moments of hurt. So he has to make up for all of them at once. And it’s going to kill him- scratch that, him dying is going to be HOW he makes up for it. He’s going to die to save others, which in his mind, not only HELPS them by saving them, but also prevents them from experiencing further harm as a result of him and his queerness specifically. I’m also looking fucking DIRECTLY at “war” by frankie goes to hollywood on mike’s playlist. holy FUCK. The queercoding is something i’ve talked about before, with how ‘frankie goes to hollywood,’ was a band known for gay music videos and who had two gay men in it. But look at the lyrics in addition to the queercoding. These lyrics often aren’t listed because it’s more of a voiceover in the song (the song has a voiceover on top of the song ‘war’ by edwin star), but this is what it says: “Then, of course, there is revolutionary love. Love of comrades fighting for the people, and love of people. Not an abstract people, but one who one lives and works with. When che guevara talked of love being at the centre of revolutionary endeavour, he meant both. For people like Che, or george jackson, or malcom x, love was the prime mover of their struggle. And love cost them their lives. Love, coupled with immense pride.” This song is literally about sacrificing oneself out of love, and how love saves people but also kills and hurts people. And saving people in your life specifically, not just a general sacrifice for all of hawkins like Eddie’s was, but rather, about Mike saving the people that he ‘lives and works with,’ the people in HIS life, not just the abstract people of hawkins/world as a whole. “love, coupled with immense pride.” IMMENSE PRIDE?? COMING FROM A DEEPLY QUEER BAND?? AND EVERYTHING IVE BEEN SAYING ABOUT HOW MIKES GUILT ISNT JUST TIED TO HIS FEELINGS FOR WILL OR GUILT ABOUT BEING RUDE/HURTFUL TO PEOPLE IN GENERAL BUT TO HIS QUEERNESS SPECIFICALLY?? LOVE COST THEM THEIR LIVES?? QUEER PEOPLE BEING KILLED FOR THEIR LOVE IN ST (HENRY TARGETING WILL AND BARB AND THE FACT THAT WILLS VANISHING WAS THOUGHT TO BE A HATECRIME AND HOW MIKES LOVE IS GOING TO COST HIM HIS LIFE BC HIS GUILT IS TIED TO HIS QUEERNESS) And this song also ties back to what I talked about with the wheeler family’s representation of capitalism and individualism (and god this HAS to tie into the russia arc and communism stuff somehow), because love and pride and collectivism and fighting for a people are something that goes against capitalism, but it costs people their lives. Mike going against that individualism is going to cost him his life, Mike being vulnerable and sacrificing himself and likely getting outed by henry is going to kill him, but it’s going to save other people. Especially maybe if Mike gets outed to stop Will from getting outed, dies so that will’s feelings for mike aren’t revealed. Love and pride are what’s going to kill mike. His love and his queerness will kill him. But it’s also going to save him. It’s going to bring him back, too. AND LOOK AT ‘MAD WORLD’ ON HIS PLAYLIST TOO: “the dreams in which i’m dying are the best i’ve ever had.” It’s a song about feeling out of place in society/going against society but also out of place in one’s interpersonal relationships and how both of those result in death, JUST like how ‘war’ by frankie goes to hollywood is about how people who rebelled against society and died as a result of it. And while the people mentioned in ‘war’ didn’t die at their own hand and sacrificed themselves but still died at another’s hand, ‘mad world,’ is more suicide at one’s own hand, which ties to how Mike sacrificing himself in s5 is going to be tied directly to his suicidality and work as a metaphor for him having killed himself in a non-supernatural/self sacrificing way, as a metaphor for what i’ve talked about before with how mike is invisible gay men who die by suicide vs how will is hypervisible gay men who die by hate crimes. But also look at this excerpt about the song: “This song is about a depressed young person who feels out of place in this world. He sees life as being empty, and looks for ways to escape the pain. The line, "The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had" suggests thoughts of suicide, and according to Roland Orzabal, who wrote the lyrics, it relates to the psychologist Arthur Janov's idea that our most dramatic dreams release the most tension. So, the guy in the song isn't necessarily looking to die - he wakes up from morbid, lucid dreams feeling better.“

Mike doesn’t want to die persay: he just wants to stop hurting people, he wants to die in the sense that he sees death and self-sacrifice/suicide as the only way for him to stop hurting people AND for him to make up for the hurt he’s caused AND as the only way for him to save/protect people. Mike doesn’t just randomly want to die, just like how the singer of ‘mad world’ doesn’t want to just randomly die- but rather, sees death as a possible solution to the isolation and pain. Mike is going to experience those morbid ‘dreams,’ he’s going to die, but he’s going to come BACK. Plus vecna and all of the dream imagery with him?? the freddy krueger parallels?? the ‘dream a little dream of me’ and ‘california dreaming’ imagery and paralells and how both songs tie to henry and will? ‘the dreams in which im dying are the best ive ever had’? This imagery almost seems to indicate that mike won’t actually die but rather just dream of it, but i disagree: i think the dream imagery ties his death to vecna, that it’s tied to a dream in the sense that henry kills people in their dreams.

“I find it hard to tell you ‘cause I find it hard to take.” Mike has trouble opening up to people because he’s struggling with his guilt and struggling with finding himself/his guilt/queerness ‘hard to take,’ so if he can’t even accept it, in his mind, how can he expect others to accept it? What he doesn’t realize is that other people accepting it is what’s going to help HIM accept himself, like how i talked about in this post with how mike makes will not feel like a mistake but the vice versa is also true and how mike’s ability to accept his own sexuality is intrinsically tied to Will. Mike is fucked. Mike is SO FUCKED. But he’s going to be saved. He’s going to die and come back. Love is going to save him, the very thing that killed him. Just like how mike thinks his actions/his love for people and helping them actually hurt them when in reality it SAVED them. And henry’s whole “tricked you? I saved you.” thing. It’s the opposite for mike, it would be ‘saved you? i ‘tricked’ (hurt) you.”

#st analysis #mike's mental health #mike wheeler analysis #st narrative #mike gets vecna'd #st5 #st music #mike's bassment beats #st dream a little dream of me #st california dreaming #st mad world by tears for fears #st war by frankie goes to hollywood #tw suicide #wheeler family #ted wheeler ref #st bullies #byler

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jazzstandardspoll · 1 month

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*Fly Me To The Moon & Dream A Little Dream Of Me tied during the previous round, hence why this is a three-way poll. Only the song with the most votes among them will continue to the next round.

Descriptions & Propaganda

St. Louis Blues

Composed by W. C. Handy

Notable versions: Bessie Smith (x), Django Reinhardt (x), Louis Armstrong (x)

Propaganda: None submitted.

Dream A Little Dream Of Me

Composed by Fabian Andre and Wilbur Schwandt, with lyrics by Gus Kahn

Notable versions: Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald (x), Doris Day (x), The Mamas & The Papas (x)

Propaganda: None submitted.

Fly Me To The Moon

Composed by Bart Howard

Notable versions: Frank Sinatra (x), Vince Guaraldi (x), Roy Haynes Quartet (x)

Propaganda: None submitted.

#st. louis blues #dream a little dream of me #fly me to the moon #jazzstandardspoll #round 4

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thathopelessromantic · 1 year

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Chapters: 3/? Fandom: Stranger Things (TV 2016) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington Characters: Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson, Robin Buckley, Dustin Henderson, Nancy Wheeler, The Party (Stranger Things), Eleven | Jane Hopper Additional Tags: The Party as Family (Stranger Things), Alternate Universe, Mind Reading, Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Language, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Soulmates Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington, Touch-Starved, Dream Sharing, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Recovery, Other Additional Tags to Be Added Summary:

His body is heavy and hot and there seems like very little reason to keep fighting the heavy droop to his eyes.

Except, there’s this strange tugging somewhere deep in his chest. Like an anchor settled just behind his ribs, reaching back out of his body towards something Eddie can’t place. And it keeps pulling at him. Not painfully, but insistent.

Stay awake. Stay alert. Tug. Almost there. Pull. Safe. Calm.

Eddie Munson wakes up from his expedition into the Upside Down to a broken guitar, some new scars, and Steve Harrington's voice in his head.

#stranger things #st #steddie #rita writes #chapter 3!#this chapter uh...got away from me a little #warning for temp character deaths #(in dreams)#rita rambles #fic #fic: arms tonite

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reikunrei · 2 years

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one of my favorite cryptid/monster creation theories is that something, even if it was entirely made up, becomes real purely because people believe it enough, and I keep thinking about that in relation to henry's powers/the way he wanted to change the world

like, rather than it being actual timeline splitting or time travel in order to change things (thinking specifically of that shot of him rewinding the grandfather clock, literally manipulating time), it's just like... he wills these things to happen because he believed hard enough in it? if that makes sense?

like he still has powers, that's all real, but rather than it being actual time manipulation, it's closer to like... faulty or changed memories that then retroactively become real. as a tiny example, like brenner's hair inexplicably changing style or graying too fast is just bc henry remembered it wrong, but that doesn't mean it's not real

i just feel like it's an interesting thought since henry leaned so heavily into making false memories or interactions with his victims (chrissy's mom in the bathroom, the cop saying he recognized fred, max seeing her mom after leaving the letters for her family) but they all stemmed from the truth, and perhaps could have become real if the victims believed it hard enough and gave in to their pain and fear

idk! like... i feel like it would be a cool twist to have it be a manipulation of memories that retroactively changes stuff, but the old version still leaks through, rather than it directly being like time travel and stuff

#stranger things #henry creel #i say things #i think it's just bc im so indifferent to actual time travel in a piece of media like stranger things #it just. sort of feels out of place to me?#obvs my opinion might change when we get the stage play and into s5 #and there's a lot of evidence that it Is straight up timeline splitting and whatnot #i think that maybe like. im sick of it bc of all the bullshit dumbfuck marvel multiverse shit #it's boring and i hate it !#like. i think if this was the plan the whole time for ST #or if it was even just like a little seed at the start that has since then taken further root #that's fine. bc i could put my trust into the duffers and crew to make it work and have it be satisfying #i just. feel like i want it to be more of a twist than that #and like. maybe there is one true 'timeline' for lack of a better word #but the characters keep remembering things differently bc their memories are being manipulated #i think it would be dumb to have it be like a 'and they were dreaming the whole time!' thing #like they'd have to take it easy if they wanted to retroactively be like 'that's not what really happened'#but. idk! i just am really intrigued by the idea of vecna fucking around with character's memories #and giving them fake experiences just to scare them #and i think it would be really cool to sow doubt like that into their minds #by being like 'here's what you thought you remembered... but here's what you remember now... which is right?'#and like. making certain paths become real bc they believe one more over the other #and so they have to try really hard to remember what's true and what isnt in order to save the day #I DONT KNOW now i can't stop talking im so sorry #this was meant to be smthn small and now im just like ooooooo fun idea that i would wanna see the duffers tackle #this sounds so dumb but it's literally like #henry isnt actually manipulating time but he believes that he is and so therefore he is #but he only is doing it because he believes he's doing it #but he's not Actually doing it

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theostrophywife · 10 months

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heaven and back.

pairing: mattheo riddle x reader x theodore nott.

song inspiration: heaven and back by chase atlantic.

author's note: poly! matty and theo just hits different. the teamwork that these two would put in. whew baby that's a one way ticket to st. mungo's. these men break backs, not hearts 😏

You were good at playing games.

As a matter of fact, Mattheo and Theodore would argue that you were a little too good.

After all, you met your boyfriends during one of Malfoy’s infamous game nights in which you swindled Mattheo and Theodore out of a few hundred galleons during a tense round of magical poker. Ever since that fateful night in fourth year, the three of you became inseparable. Thanks to your slyness, the first Saturday of every month was deemed sacred to your fellow Slytherins. Game nights were reserved for drinking and debauchery, which just so happened to be your specialty.

Though the entirety of Hogwarts coveted an invitation to the longstanding tradition, very few were allowed a glimpse into the inner workings of the serpent’s nest. Tonight, the guest of honor was none other than the Gryffindor golden girl—Hermione Granger. She and Draco only started dating a month ago, but anyone with eyes could see that Malfoy was quite smitten. Before Hermione, Draco had never invited a significant other to game night.

You were determined to give Hermione a warm Slytherin welcome. Hence the special potion you brewed just for the occasion.

With a smirk, you produced the potion from your back pocket. The liquid sloshed around in the glass vial, the iridescent purple mixture flecked with specks of glitter.

“I know that look.” Theo remarked, pulling you into his lap. “What sort of trouble are you brewing, dolcezza?”

Mattheo chuckled and nestled against his shoulder. “Don’t act like you don’t like it, Teddy. You know we both benefit from her mischief. Isn’t that right, princess?”

You smiled, ruffling Mattheo’s curls. “You’re absolutely right, Matty. Tonight, everyone will reap the rewards of my tricks. I concocted a special little potion that’ll make game night a little more interesting.”

Pansy raised a perfectly groomed brow. “What exactly does this little concoction of yours do, Y/N? The last time I drank something you brewed, I ended up streaking through the quidditch pitch.”

“As I recall, I was right beside you, Pans.” Your friend chuckled, nodding in confirmation. “Consider this a social lubricant. It takes the edge off, makes you feel a little warm and fuzzy inside. It’s the perfect balance between feeling tipsy and high. Lowers those pesky inhibitions.”

Draco scoffed. “If this group lowers their inhibitions any further, we’d all be expelled.”

“That’s why we have you, Dray. What good is the Malfoy fortune if it can’t bail us out of sticky situations?”

“Need I remind you that the last sticky situation almost ended with Enzo in the infirmary after Mattheo and Theo convinced him to race backwards on their brooms.”

Hermione watched the back and forth exchange, absorbing the interaction with a small smile.

“Draco’s exaggerating, of course. Anyone would’ve missed the whomping willow in the dark.” The Golden Girl chuckled as you sent her a conspiratory wink, causing Draco to sigh in exasperation. “Besides, Berkshire had fun. Didn’t you, Enz?”

“Oh, loads. I had a blast pulling twigs from my arse for two hours straight afterwards.”

“See? You’re not talking us into taking another one of your poisons, Y/N.”

Enzo shook his head. “Speak for yourself, cousin. I’m definitely in.”

The rest of your friends expressed their agreement. Even Blaise, who would never dream of drinking anything besides the finest vintage, was eager to participate. Mostly to see the others make a fool of themselves, which was perfectly fine by you.

Draco rolled his silver eyes. “Fine. You lot are going to end up talking me into it, anyways.”

“What about you, Hermione? Would you like a sip as well?”

Her warm, honey brown eyes darted around the room. Draco clasped her hand in his, squeezing gently. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, love. I’m only agreeing because I don't want to have to take care of these heathens.”

You nodded empathically. “No pressure, Hermione. You can say no if you’d like, but I am rather proud of my little concoction and it would be an absolute honor if the golden girl partook in our debauchery. After all, you’re dating Draco. You might as well get used to it now.”

A mischievous grin pulled at Hermione’s lips. She shrugged nonchalantly, her curls cascading over her shoulder. “Why the bloody hell not?”

“That’s the spirit, Granger!” cheered Pansy.

You smirked in response and slithered out of your boyfriend’s lap. Both Mattheo and Theo watched intently as you crawled across the plush ornate rug, slowly making your way towards the Gryffindor. Hermione sucked in a breath, her cheeks blossoming into a pretty blush. Her hands, which were laid in her lap in the most prim and proper way, twitched when you knelt before her on the sofa.

Behind you, Mattheo mumbled something into Theo’s ear. When you glanced over your shoulder, your boyfriends were staring directly at you, anticipating your next move. You responded with an innocent smile before turning back to Hermione.

With a sly smile, you held her honey eyed gaze and tapped her bottom lip. “Open up, love.”

Hermione swallowed thickly before parting her lips. You gently cradled her jaw before tipping the vial into her mouth, pouring a generous amount of potion for the golden girl. She looked up at you expectantly, her lashes fluttering ever so slightly.

You rewarded her with a cheeky wink. “Good girl, Granger. That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

She shook her head, the flush on her cheeks mimicking her house colors as you wiped a droplet of liquid off of her lips with your thumb. Beside her, Draco sighed. “For Salazar’s sake, stop putting the moves on my girlfriend.”

“What’s the matter, Dray? Are you scared I’ll steal Hermione away from you?”

“You can hardly blame me. You’re a shameless flirt, Y/N.”

You placed a hand over your heart, feigning offense. “Why, I’d never dream of flirting with your lady. You know how jealous my boys get.”

Your boyfriends shook their heads, clearly amused at your attempt to rile Draco up. Truly, your friend made it too easy. You chuckled as the blonde glared at you. “Come on, Malfoy. It’s your turn. Maybe the potion will loosen you up, yeah?”

Draco rolled his eyes, but allowed you to pour the potion into his mouth. You moved down the line, doing the same for Pansy, Blaise, and Enzo. The latter grinned as you ruffled his hair. After Enzo, the only ones remaining were Theo and Mattheo.

“Come here, cara mia.” Theo said, beckoning you with two fingers. “Mattheo and I are waiting.”

“I saved the best for last, boys.”

Mattheo smirked as he pulled you into his lap. You settled against him, making yourself right at home. He kissed the side of your neck, smiling against your skin. “Go on, then. Don’t leave Theo hanging.”

You nodded, body heating as Mattheo rubbed your thighs. Theo raised a brow, his watercolor eyes settling over you. Licking your lips, you couldn’t help but let your gaze wander. Your boyfriend looked rather casual in his emerald jumper and dark jeans, but there was something about the way that Theo carried himself that exuded sex appeal. The cocky smirk on his handsome face told you that he was well aware of the effect he had on you.

Theo cocked his head towards you and opened his mouth. You tipped the vial past his lips, admiring how plush and pouty they looked. Lust darkened your boyfriend’s watercolor eyes as he watched you through hooded lids. The potion dribbled off his chin, making you giggle.

“Oops, I spilled.” You licked the remnants off, lapping up the liquid all the way to the corner of his lips. Mattheo’s fingers dug into your hips as you finished off your little show with a kiss.

Theo grabbed the back of your head and deepened the kiss. He didn’t take kindly to being teased. Never one to shy away from public displays of affection, Theo groaned softly and slid his tongue into your mouth, giving you a filthy open-mouthed kiss before pulling away and winking.

Across the room, Hermione flushed, her lips parting ever so slightly. “Oh,” she whispered softly.

Mattheo chuckled, his laughter caressing your skin as he nuzzled into the crook of your neck. He turned you over in his lap and tapped his lips. “Me next, princess.”

“Open wide, Matty.”

“Funny. Usually I’m the one saying that to you.”

Your friends groaned at the suggestive comment, but you only grinned in response. Mattheo parted his lips eagerly, not once breaking eye contact as he swallowed the potion. The intensity of his big, brown eyes made your hands shake, causing you to spill a few drops on your fingers. Your boyfriend took your middle and pointer finger into his mouth and sucked them clean.

You gasped in surprise. Mattheo chuckled darkly, catching the vial before it slipped out of your fingers. Behind you, Theo tugged at your hair and titled your head back.

“Your turn now, mi amor.” Mattheo drawled, his voice a seductive song in your ears. He lowered his voice, so only you could hear his next statement. “Be a good girl and swallow.”

The eager nod made both of your boyfriends smirk. Theo gathered your hair in one hand, fisting your locks into a makeshift ponytail while Mattheo poured the last of the potion into your mouth. The liquid was strong and sweet, trailing down your throat and warming your body with a pleasant heat.

“That’s my girl,” Mattheo said. Theo raised a brow, which made the curly headed boy laugh. “That’s our girl.”

“Better,” Theo remarked before pulling you against him.

You settled into his lap, watching the rest of your friends start a game of poker. As always, Draco was way too competitive. Blaise was hustling the hell out of him, but the blonde didn’t seem to notice. Pansy wrapped her arms around her boyfriend’s shoulders, leaning in every so often to whisper things in his ear that made him smile.

Enzo reclined back on the couch, an endearing smile pulling at his lips as he took small sips of his firewhiskey. From his glazed eyes, you could tell that the potion was hitting him the hardest.

Mattheo rested his head on your lap, tugging at your hand in a silent request to play with his curls. You obliged happily, scratching at his scalp and twirling his bouncy locks between your fingers. Every so often, he’d lean in and show you his cards, asking for advice.

As the night progressed, the potion took its effects, loosening both lips and limbs. Theo’s long legs bracketed you from either side, the intoxicating scent of petrichor and cigarette smoke clinging onto him like your own personal drug. Mattheo stared lovingly up at you as you continued playing with his hair.

When you looked up, you met Hermione’s inquiring gaze. She was leaned up against Draco, who kept an arm around her waist, absentmindedly drawing circles underneath her sweater.

She cocked her head, a question forming in her brilliant mind. “So, how exactly does it work?”

You leaned back against Theo’s chest, a playful smirk curving against your lips. “How does what work, love?”

“Having…two boyfriends.”

“You mean, being poly?”

“Poly,” Hermione said, testing out the word. There wasn’t a hint of judgment in her expression, just plain curiosity. Apparently, the Gryffindor girl’s innate hunger for knowledge extended to the intricacies of your relationship. “If you don’t mind me asking. How exactly does a poly relationship work?”

You shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s like every other relationship,” you started, glancing at your two favorite people in the world. Mattheo and Theo smiled back. “We go on dates, we argue about stupid things, then we kiss and make up. Except sometimes the boys like to gang up on me.”

Theo chuckled. “I reckon ganging up against you is the most fun that we have, dolcezza.”

“I’d have to agree with Teddy,” Mattheo interjected as he grinned up at you. “We give teamwork a whole new meaning. Don’t we, princess?”

“See,” you said, waving your arms between your boyfriends. “These sassy men will be the death of me.”

Theo wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling against your neck. “You love us though.”

“That I do,” you replied with a smile.

“Do any of you ever get jealous?” asked Hermione.

Theo nodded. “Of course, it’s a natural part of every relationship, but we have ways of working it out.” Your boyfriend smiled and kissed your cheek. “We just make sure no one feels left out.” He leaned down to place a kiss on Mattheo’s forehead too.

Hermione hummed. “That sounds rather nice, actually.”

“I wouldn’t call it nice,” Mattheo countered with a sly smile. “Y/N can get a little feisty sometimes. You should’ve seen what she did to Lavender for touching my shoulder last week.”

Theo nodded in agreement. “It’s nothing compared to the fight she had with Cho after she tried asking me out. Poor girl thought that polyamory equates to having an open relationship. As if I’d ever need anyone else besides Y/N and Mattheo.”

“So polyamory doesn’t translate to opening your relationship to others,” Hermione said thoughtfully. “I’m learning so much.”

Mattheo confirmed her statement with a nod. “Yes, we’re all very committed to one another. It’s only Y/N and Theo for me.”

“While we all adore your wonderful little trio,” Draco cut in. You could tell by the tension in his shoulders that he would definitely not be open to sharing the golden girl with anyone else. “I think it’s time to call it a night.”

You chuckled. “Such a party pooper, Malfoy. Don’t worry, Granger’s just asking for education purposes. Aren’t you, Mione?”

“I know what you’re doing, Y/N. You’re devious, you know that?”

Theo smirked at his oldest friend. “Don’t be jealous cause she has more game than you, Dray.”

“After all, that’s how she got us. Right, princess?”

Draco sighed exasperatedly. You rolled your eyes fondly before saying goodbye to everyone. Pulling Hermione into a hug, you winked behind her back as Draco glared at you.

“Thank you for indulging me,” Hermione said softly. “I feel thoroughly educated now.”

“No problem, Mione.”

You kissed her cheek before wrapping Draco into a hug as well. “Stay sharp, Dray. You’ll have to work harder to keep up with this one. Granger’s way out of your league.”

Draco smiled. “I’m well aware.”

Later that night as you laid in bed sandwiched between Mattheo and Theo, you felt the potion reach its peak. You giggled into Theo’s neck, squealing as Mattheo pressed his cold feet against your legs. The three of you were chatting about your day like you usually did, but thanks to the potion, one of you always got sidetracked, leading into cuddles and kisses mid sentence.

Matty spooned you from behind, his possessive grip snaked around your waist like a vice. “I’m not going to lie, watching you crawl towards Granger tonight did something to me.”

“That’s her game, mio amato. You know she loves to tease.”

You turned over to face him, an amused smirk toying at your lips. “I thought you liked my little games, Teddy. At least your lower half did. I could feel you pressing against me all night.”

Theo smirked, grinding his erection against your thigh. “Can you blame me? You knew exactly what you were doing. Admit it, cara mia. You weren’t cozying up to Hermione just to get under Draco’s skin. You were doing it to rile us up too.”

“It worked. I’ve been hard as fuck all night. The way you teased Granger had me thinking vile thoughts.”

“So I’m not enough for you, Matty?” You jested, pouting your bottom lip at your boyfriend. “You want Draco’s girl too?”

Within the blink of an eye, you were pinned underneath Mattheo with your arms raised above your head as your boyfriend glared down at you. “No. If anything, you’re the one flirting with Granger like Theo and I aren’t enough to handle already. Maybe we should remind you who you belong to.”

You hummed in agreement, biting back a smile. “Hmm, maybe you’re right, querido. I’m not opposed to a little refresher.”

Theo shook his head in disbelief. “Fucking hell, bella. You just want to be railed until you cry, don’t you? Such a little brat. You could’ve just asked for what you wanted.”

You batted your lashes in response. “But it’s so much more fun this way.”

As retaliation, Mattheo flipped you over on all fours. With a smirk, he leaned back on the headboard and pushed down his gray heathered sweatpants as Theo crawled behind you. He gave no warning as he bunched up your nightdress, pressing a filthy kiss against your clothed sex. You were dripping for him, coating his lips with your taste as he pushed your head down on Mattheo’s lap. You groaned as Mattheo pumped himself between slender fingers, tapping the tip of his cock against your lips. He bucked into your mouth just as Theo plunged his tongue between your folds.

“What was that, principessa?” Theo hummed against your aching cunt. “Matty and I can’t hear you over all that moaning.”

Mattheo laughed meanly as he gathered your hair in his fist, thrusting down your throat with a choked moan. “Put that smart mouth to work, sweetheart.” He thrust in lazily, barely giving you his tip. “Spit on it.”

Glancing up at him through your lashes, you spit on Mattheo’s cock and watched as his head lolled against the headboard. “Teddy? Wanna give me a hand, pretty boy?”

With wide eyes, you gasped as Theo leaned over and pumped Mattheo in his hand before lining up his length against your lips. Theo kissed your cheek before shoving your head down to take inch after inch. Once Mattheo slid all the way in, he pulled out just to slam back in forcefully. You could feel Mattheo hitting the back of your throat, activating your gag reflex while he smirked in satisfaction.

“Gonna shut the fuck up and take my cock like a good little slut, aren’t you?”

You nodded, tears forming in your eyes as Mattheo continued to fuck your throat. As if that weren’t enough, Theo flicked his tongue on your clit and feasted on you from behind like a starved man. He took his sweet time, sloppily making out with your pussy and lapping up your arousal before slipping a finger inside, pumping you as you gagged on Mattheo’s cock. You groaned as Theo pried your legs apart, his intense gaze never leaving your face as he kissed the inside of your thighs. Hooking your right leg over his shoulder, Theo began licking and teasing, his tongue flicking through your folds with expert precision. He sucked hard, lapping your juices up with fervent devotion.

The potion increased the sensations tenfold, intensifying your pleasure as you bucked against Theo’s face. It seems that your less than innocent academic pursuit had truly paid off because both Theo and Mattheo seemed to be affected just as much. The current of the concoction surged through all three of you, slamming you with wave after wave of heady desire. It felt better than drunk sex or fucking while you were high. This was just unbridled lust and want, flooding you with the need to be nothing but an obedient fuck toy for your favorite boys.

Mascara streaked down your cheeks as you cried out for more, fisting the sheets as your boyfriends occupied both of your needy holes. The cries of pleasure were muffled around Mattheo’s cock. Your boyfriend’s breathing grew ragged and his grip grew tighter, his abs rippling as he shot hot ribbons down your throat.

“Good girl. So fucking beautiful, swallowing every drop of my cum like a perfect little whore. You’re flawless, Y/N.”

Theo made quick work of you afterwards. Warmth spread from your core, hot tendrils snaking all over your body as he pushed you to your first orgasm of the night. When Theo crooked his middle and pointer finger inside your gummy walls, you squirted into his mouth with a cry. Despite your cries of pleasure, Theo showed no signs of stopping. His cool breath fanned over your sensitive sex and you whimpered at his ravenous appetite, squirming away from Theo’s tongue. Displeased, Theo flipped you onto your back and dragged you towards him by the ankles.

“I’m not done with you, tesoro.”

Your boyfriend growled and glanced at Mattheo. “Hold her down,” Theo commanded, his pretty eyes sparkling with mischief. “You’re done when I say you’re done. Sit back, look pretty, and let me eat your pussy until you’re sobbing. I’ll make you feel so good, bella. Surely you have another one in you, don’t you, Y/N?”

You nodded, still reeling from the aftershock of your orgasm. Mattheo placed you on his lap, prying your lips open with his fingers. “Theo asked you a question, princess. Use your words.”

Theo smirked. “Give her a minute. I think I’ve fucked her so dumb with my mouth and fingers that she can’t even form a sentence.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Mattheo said with a chuckle. He caressed your jaw, pressing kisses against your shoulder. “Don’t you want to cum again, sweetheart? Either way, you don’t really have a choice. Theo’s going to feast on you no matter what you say. You know he hates being teased.”

“I can take it,” you said in a shaky voice. “I’ll be good, I promise. I just want to make you both proud.”

Theo smiled, revealing the dimples you loved so much. “I know you do, Y/N. We’re not stopping until you’ve soaked the sheets. Now come on, be a good girl and sit on my face.”

You swallowed thickly as Theo switched places with you, laying back on Mattheo’s lap while bringing your hips forward. Steadying yourself on Mattheo’s shoulder, you slowly lowered onto Theo’s face. You grinded against him slowly at first, minding your sensitive sex, but it wasn’t long before you were bucking into his mouth, riding his face like you’d ride his cock.

There was no other word to describe Theo but feral. He gorged himself on you, poking and prodding your wet cunt with his tongue and fingers until your head fell onto Mattheo’s neck, gasping against his skin while Theo’s fingers dug into your hips. You groaned as Mattheo kissed you roughly, whimpering at the overwhelming pressure already building in your core.

As your moans and screams grew louder and louder, Mattheo gagged your mouth with his fingers, shoving his middle and pointer finger past your lips in an attempt to muffle the noise.

“Are you trying to wake the whole castle up, princess?”

“Let her,” Theo said, chuckling darkly as he wrapped his lips around your clit. “Let the whole castle hear what a desperate little slut she is for us.”

You groaned as Theo picked up the pace, fucking you with his tongue until you were coming undone in his mouth. The second orgasm was an out of body experience. Stars exploded behind your eyes as you came with a cry. You could’ve sworn that you went to heaven and back.

As you collapsed backwards into Theo’s arms, your boyfriend grabbed you by the throat and kissed you. The taste of you lingered on his tongue and your eyes rolled back as Theo’s lips claimed yours. He chuckled when you chased his kisses.

“Don’t be greedy, pretty girl. Matty wants a taste too.”

Your lips parted in surprise as Theo grabbed the back of Mattheo’s head and kissed him hard, his tongue flicking over his bottom lip and they both groaned. Theo smiled into the kiss, savoring the taste. He patted Mattheo’s cheek before pulling you into his lap.

“Such a good girl for us, aren’t you?” Theo cooed, caressing your cheek and rewarding you with neck kisses. “I love when you ride my face. You’re fucking perfect. I’m so proud of you, pretty girl.”

“Don’t go all soft now, cariño.” Mattheo teased, licking away the remnants of you from the corner of his mouth. “We’re only getting started. We haven’t even fucked her yet.”

Theo smiled down at you, wiping away the mascara streaks clinging to your cheeks. “Then by all means. Finish the job you started, Matty.”

“I intend to,” Mattheo replied as he loomed over you.

With a wink, Theo spread your legs apart and presented your sopping wet cunt to Mattheo like a present. He reached down and rubbed his middle and pointer finger against your clit, holding your hips in place as you arched off the bed.

“Look at that. Pretty little pussy’s all nice and wet for us,” Theo said with a chuckle. “You’re so eager, aren’t you? So insatiable, dolcezza. Maybe Mattheo and I should give you a double dose. Fuck you at the same time.”

“Yes,” you breathed, mewling as Theo continued rubbing lazy circles against your clit. “Please, please, I need it.”

“Just a cockhungry little slut. You’re fucking greedy, mi amor. Begging for both of our cocks. Don’t worry, baby. We’ll give you what you want. Fill you up like you need.”

You whimpered in response as Mattheo manhandled you, pushing your face into the pillows while he lifted your perky arse in the air. He kneaded your ass, rubbing his cock along your folds. When you grinded against him for more, Mattheo’s palm landed on your right cheek with a hard smack. As you looked behind you, Theo winked before slapping your left cheek. The sting of his palm burned against your skin, making your eyes water.

“What’s the matter, bella? I thought you wanted to play.”

“I do,” you breathed, gripping the sheets. “Please, Teddy. I need more. Spank me harder.”

“Dirty girl,” Theo said fondly. “Ask and you shall receive.”

As his palm came down on your ass over and over again, you gasped for breath, chasing air while Mattheo lined himself up at your entrance. Theo leaned down to kiss the handprints on your arse, biting softly and embedding his mark onto your skin before mirroring Mattheo’s actions. Theo teased against your puckering hole and nodded at the curly headed boy beside him.

He placed a soft kiss on Mattheo’s lips. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Mattheo responded with a grin.

You braced yourself to take both of them, gripping the sheets while they filled you simultaneously. It was a tight fit and you could feel both of your boyfriends stretching your walls.

“Such a good girl,” Theo groaned, moving slowly so you could adjust to his girth. “Letting Matty and I stretch you wide open. Fuck, I love being inside of you. It feels like fucking heaven, tesoro.”

Mattheo groaned in agreement. “Your pussy’s so wet. Does it turn you on to be ruined like this?” You cried in pleasure, mewling as Mattheo took Theo’s hand and placed it on your lower abdomen. “Feel that, mi corazón. Can you feel me fuck her deep, rearranging her insides?”

“Merda, you two are going to be the death of me.” Theo said, his dead eyes rolling back. “Fuck me, I could cum just watching Matty move inside of you, Y/N.”

As the two of them moved in sync, you gasped and panted, tears streaming down your cheeks from the overstimulation. There were so many sensations all at once, overloading your senses, making you writhe and whimper while your boyfriends ruined you. Mattheo tilted your chin, praises dripping from his lips, sweat slicked skin glimmering a pretty golden shade in the dim light.

The hard planes of his abdominal muscles rippled while he fucked you from behind, grasping at the base of your throat until you were gasping for air. “Who’s pussy is this?” Mattheo growled into your ear, his curls tickling your cheek while he released a ragged breath. “Who do you belong to, Y/N?”

“You and Theo,” you breathed. “Only you and Theo.”

Theo smiled at your answer, lacing your fingers together. “That’s right, principessa. You’re ours to love, to fuck, to worship. Don’t forget that.”

“Oh gods,” you moaned, gripping Theo’s hand while wrapping your fingers around the hand that Mattheo had around your neck. “I’m yours and you’re both mine.”

“Damn fucking right,” Mattheo said with a sharp thrust.

As Mattheo’s breathing grew more ragged, you and Theo both knew that he would succumb first. Theo fisted Mattheo’s curls in one hand and pulled him in for a filthy kiss, swallowing the cry that left his lips as he came inside of you. The sensation of him filling you up was too much to handle and the orgasm rocked your body, making your limbs seize as that familiar white hot heat blinded your senses.

Theo was the last to cum, pulling out of your sensitive hole so that Mattheo could wrap his lips around his cock. His endurance was rewarded with vulgar noises as Mattheo gripped his hips in place and sucked him dry.

When your third and final orgasm ran its course, you found yourself laying flat on your back, blinking back up at the ceiling as you regained control of your senses. Through the haze, you blinked and found Theo and Mattheo fussing over you, casting a cleansing spell and wiping your damp forehead with a clean cloth. With a smile, they both leaned in and kissed your cheeks before tucking you safely between them. You hummed, placing a gentle kiss on both of their foreheads.

“You know you two are all I need, right?”

Your boyfriends both nodded, curling against you. “Of course, mi corazón.”

“You’re all we need too, cuore mio.”

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saintobio · 4 months

Text

blank canvas: the epilogue.

pairings. ryōmen sukuna, fem!reader

genre. past lovers, angst, opposites attract

tags/warnings. mentions of toxic relationships, purple hearts-ish themes, maybe some heartache

notes. 2.4k wc. i said it’ll come in a few days, but i had free time so here it issss!

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

TWO YEARS LATER

Tonight was Yuki and Choso’s going-away party.

Their decision to migrate to another side of the world was because Yuki had always talked about wanting to live abroad, and so when Choso was offered a once-in-a-lifetime job opportunity in another country, it became the perfect chance for them to make that dream a reality.

So despite your apprehensions, you couldn’t miss the chance to see Yuki one last time and accepted her invitation to the party.

The evening was alive with laughter and chatter as their families and friends gathered to celebrate their bittersweet departure. Among the crowd, you spotted some familiar faces who exchanged greetings with the couple, as well as some strangers you had never seen before.

But one person was conspicuously absent.

It had been two years since you had seen Sukuna, and the thought of potentially running into him again filled you with a strange mix of anticipation and dread. However, deep down, you knew he wouldn’t be there. There was no chance of him ever showing up because you hadn’t heard from him since that fateful night. The apartment you once shared together now housed a new tenant, and the tattoo shop across the street had transformed into a record store. Neither Yuki, nor Choso (even Yuuji), had mentioned anything about Sukuna since then, possibly avoiding any mentions of him to you out of his request. He had simply disappeared, evaporated from existence, leaving behind nothing but a fading memory.

As you scanned the room with a forlorn smile, your thoughts were interrupted by Yuki’s cheerful voice. “Y/N! So glad you could make it! I thought you weren’t gonna come, too.”

Your first instinct was to hug her tightly. “Of course, not! You know I can’t not see you before you go.”

“Aww.” She embraced you tighter before pulling away with a sad smile. “I’m gonna miss you so much. You’re like a little sister to me.”

Indeed, and she was the big sister you never had. Things would feel different without her here, but you supported her decisions and would always wish her the best in her future endeavors. So, despite the distance you two would soon have, you gave her a reassuring pat on the back. “We can still keep in touch. And maybe, I’ll pay you a visit there, too.”

“Honestly, I would love that!” she enthused, “Please do, even if I have to harass Getou and Gojou about it.”

You chuckled as she mentioned the duo’s name and spent the next few minutes with you chatting for a bit, catching up with your life, talking about your future plans. It was amazing how much can change in two years, and how some things can also stay the same. Like your friendship. And this bond that you would never find with anyone else.

For now, the night was still young, and you knew Yuki still had many more guests to accommodate, so you didn’t want to take all of her time. Eventually she did excuse herself to greet more guests, and you found yourself standing by the kitchen island, absentmindedly stirring your cocktail.

As you stood in the corner of the room, surrounded by the chatter and laughter of the party, you felt a sudden jolt run through your body as loud voices boomed across the room. They were Yuuji and Choso’s exuberant greetings cutting through the air, drawing everyone’s attention, including yours.

“Nii-san!”

“There he goes, Mr. First Lieutenant!”

Your eyes widened as you saw the figure they were addressing with playful salute—a man in a crisp military uniform, standing tall and confident. It took you a moment to recognize him, but when you did, your heart skipped a beat.

It was Sukuna.

He looked different, transformed almost, his demeanor more composed, his smile softer yet still retaining the undeniable aura of masculinity. He looked a lot more muscular than the last you remembered. His hair, now dyed back to its natural color, was neatly trimmed. You recognized that the uniform he wore was of the Japan Self-Defense Forces, adorned with badges and insignias that spoke of his achievements. The reckless, wild look in his eyes had been replaced by something steadier, more focused.

It wasn’t just the sight of him that made your heart skip a beat—it was how different he looked.

“That’s so cool!” Yuuji raved about his older brother’s badges, his starry eyes genuinely intrigued at the sight of Sukuna in a uniform.

Choso, on the other hand, was pulling him in a hug in an emotional jest. “Dammit. You said you couldn’t make it!”

“Don’t cry now,” Sukuna teased, patting the younger brother’s back. He seemed to be genuinely having fun teasing his brothers. “Had to pull some strings. I was on duty, but do ‘ya think I’d let you go without seeing you?”

You felt a pang of nostalgia in their interaction, but also recognized the visible difference in the way your ex-boyfriend spoke to others. He was genuinely happy. He was all smiles. He was the healthiest version of himself, both physically and emotionally.

It was clear to you that Sukuna had turned his life around, and it was evident that he was doing well in his field of work. The man you once knew, who had been consumed by his reckless way of life, was now standing tall and respected as an honorable member of the military.

When you said you had never met Sukuna again in your lifetime, that was true. Because the Sukuna you knew was no longer here. It was an entirely different man, changed for the better, just not for you.

As if sensing your gaze, Sukuna turned and your eyes mirrored each other’s surprise. For a moment, the world around you seemed to fade away, as if you were characters in a movie screen seeing each other for the very first time. It was as though your eyes were the camera, and he was the actor. You could say you were starstruck, your heart thumping so loud that you could hear it vibrate through your ears.

Two freaking years, and Sukuna still had that effect on you.

You didn’t know what to do. You found yourself at a loss, the red cup in your hand now shaking from the sudden surge of anxiety. Your mind was a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts, a kaleidoscope of heavy emotions, a tornado of nostalgic bliss, leaving you feeling adrift in a sea of memories.

You wondered if Sukuna hated having to see you here. And if so, should you leave to spare yourself—or perhaps him—from any potential discomfort?

Caught in this internal struggle, you felt paralyzed, uncertain of what to do next. But then, you saw a flicker of recognition and regret in his eyes.

Before you could even contemplate your next move, Sukuna was already excusing himself from his brothers. Their knowing looks exchanged in silence spoke volumes, indicating they were aware of where he was headed. The realization then hit you like a wave. Sukuna, your ex-boyfriend of two years, was coming toward you, and you were suddenly faced with a decision between confronting the past or making a quick escape.

“Y/N,” he greeted with a boyish grin, his voice deeper, more controlled. The bad boy persona he used to carry was completely gone.

“Sukuna,” you replied, struggling to keep your voice steady, a complete opposite from his confidence.

There was a moment of awkward silence before he spoke again. “You look great.”

“Thanks,” you meekly replied, clearing your throat and gesturing to his uniform, “You, too. Military suits you. I never saw that coming.”

He smiled in agreement, seemingly happy about his current appearance. You had never seen this kind of bliss from him before, like he was filled with content and a sense of self-worth. He was proud, and truth be told, you were, too.

“It’s been a good change. It gave me structure, purpose,” he paused, taking a red cup from the kitchen island nearby, “I finally got something ‘better’ to do with my life, huh?”

You smiled softly, not missing the implication of his last statement. “I’m happy for you. Really.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

“Mhmm.”

The minutes that followed were some of the most agonizing of your life, not because of Sukuna, but because of the overwhelming awkwardness that enveloped the two of you. It felt as though you had nothing else to discuss, knowing full well that delving into your shared past was a territory you could never comfortably navigate. However, Sukuna, always the more vocal one in your relationship, had finally broken the silence.

“Do you…” he began, leaving you on edge, anticipating his question, “Do you wanna get some fresh air outside?”

Right. And with a smile, you nodded. “Sure.”

— —

You were grateful for the opportunity to escape the stifling atmosphere of the party and find some solace in the cool night air. Both of you were at the front porch, sitting over the pavement talking about anything but your past.

Sukuna excitedly talked about his time in the military, where you learned that he had enlisted two years ago and joined the army. After enlisting, he quickly excelled in the rigorous training required for the Special Operations Group (SOG). It didn’t surprise you that his physical prowess, sharp intellect, and determination made him a standout candidate.

“I actually completed advanced courses in counter-terrorism, reconnaissance, and combat survival,” he shared, his gaze set on the clear starry night above you. “Oh, and last month, I was deployed on a high-stake mission overseas. We extracted hostages from a conflict zone. Remember the action movies we used to watch? It was exactly like that. It was fun, thrilling.”

You listened intently, an elbow propped on your leg as you absorbed the enthusiasm in his stories. Pride and joy swelled in your heart as you heard him talk about something he was passionate about, because it was a stark contrast to the old Sukuna who wouldn’t have shown interest in these things. And this time around, you felt like you were infatuated again, but with the new him.

“I’m really proud of you.” Longingness dripping from your voice. “Very proud. And you’re First Lieutenant, too? Wow.”

The compliment seemingly made him blush, a sight so rare to see that you haven’t seen it throughout your relationship. “I wanted to become a better man.”

You felt a squeeze in your heart. You recalled the words he said that night at the parking lot, of him telling you that he had his own insecurities, too. That he knew all along that your uncertainties about him were rooting from his way of life. That he was aware that he couldn’t give you the life you deserved.

“Y/N.” Your name rolled off his tongue in an affectionate manner. He soon rose from his seat, prompting you to follow suit, before turning to face you. “I forgot to mention.”

You swallowed hard. “Yeah?”

His smile was sweet and genuine. “I’m engaged now.”

Oh.

Of course.

What did you expect?

His words settled in your heart like a suffocating shroud. Despite the ache in your chest, you managed a polite nod, concealing the storm of emotions swirling inside you. But you couldn’t contain it—the damn tears that pooled in your eyes. Please, not now. You turned away, hoping to shield your reaction from him.

But it was all too late.

He was already pulling you into an embrace, the familiarity in his warmth only making you weaker inside. “You are and will always be my greatest love,” he whispered into your ear, pressing his lips against your temple, “And also my biggest regret.”

Damn it. You covered your face with your hands, feeling ashamed of the tears streaming down your cheeks. What an absurd twist of fate. You could have gone about your day without encountering him again, yet here you were, shedding tears over the same man who had broken your heart two years ago.

“When I say regret,” he continued, cupping your cheeks and smiling at you lovingly. He ran his thumb across your cheeks, wiping your tears away. “I meant regret of not being that man for you. I didn’t treat you the way you deserved, or respected your boundaries like I thought I did.” Sukuna’s charm had you holding your breath still, too enamored by his beauty under the moonlight. He used to be a man of a few words, and now he didn’t shy away from pouring out his raw emotions. “I’m sorry I was two years too late. I’m sorry I had to let you go and be with someone else. But you and I know that it’s for the best.”

You weren’t crying because you wanted to get back together with him. You weren’t crying because he had promised marriage to someone else. You were crying because it felt like he was the one who slipped through your fingers, the one that got away, the one who could have been your forever if circumstances had aligned differently. It was the regret of a lost possibility, the ache of knowing that in another universe, you and him could have shared a lifetime together, untouched by the mistakes of the past.

He had dreams of making you his wife, dreams of having your children, dreams of growing old with you.

But the old Sukuna was dead, replaced by the new Sukuna who was happy and free from love’s toxicity. You realized it was time to let go. Time to bury the past and instead celebrate the future.

“Congratulations on the engagement,” you offered your well wishes, pulling away slightly to meet his gaze with your tear-filled eyes. “I hope she doesn’t find you a handful.”

He let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head. “No, no. I have to behave or else I’m a dead man,” he joked. “She's in the army, too.”

“Well, I’m glad you met her, Sukuna. You deserve it,” you said, your voice filled with genuine warmth as you wiped your lachrymose eyes.

Gratitude and comfort shone in his gaze. “And I’m glad you found your peace, Y/N. You always deserved better.”

You smiled in appreciation of his words as he helped you dust off your pants. Just then, your phone buzzed in your pocket, briefly taking your attention away from the current scene. “Uh, I think I need to go,” you hesitated, glancing back at the house. “But I think Yuki’s pretty busy.”

“It’s fine,” he assured. “Do you want me to call you a cab or?”

“No, it’s okay,” you replied, shooting him a grateful expression. “Satoru’s on his way to pick me up.”

He nodded, smiling. “Cool.” You were surprised when he offered his hand, a gesture to finally close whatever remained between you two. “It was nice seeing you, Y/N.”

You shook his hand and gave him a playful salute. “Likewise, First Lieutenant Ryomen Sukuna.”

As he returned to the party, immediately attacked by his friends, there was no hint of yearning or longing in him, as if the poignant exchange with his ex-girlfriend had never occurred. He was back in the scene in a fluid motion, laughing, catching up with his loved ones, telling stories about his life. No heartbreaks, no painful memories.

While as you stood there, knowing you had shared respect and love for each other, you were happy that there was a sense of closure in seeing Sukuna as the man he had become. You had both grown, both changed, and in that moment, you knew that your story, though painful, had led you two to where you needed to be.

That your love’s canvas, once blank, now held colors to complete the portrait.

#sukuna angst #ryomen sukuna x reader #sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #ryomen sukuna x you #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk angst

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