#starmitez

[smallsisnotthrowingawayhershot]

I like......... really miss Starmites. The fandom is nonexistent on here but fuck it, someone out there wistfully checks the tag on occasion like I do. I was in Starmites when I was in middle school as Bizarbara and it became The Fucking Musical that was my jam for an entire year. So much so that I actually wrote 90% of a sequel musical for this 1989 piece of shit. I was trash. I did it. I wrote 120-minute performance-ready fanfiction. I didn't know how to write music so it was all just loose lyrics and reprises and the laptop this blessed document was stored in got straight up STOLEN but a quick rundown of what I remember from the script: -Spooky prologue origin story reveals that Dazzle is Punks baby brother!!!! What!!!! -Yeah, I wrote the scene where the four bros walk among the ruins of their city as teenagers just after their families died in whatever war is happening. They're the last surviving humans in the entire realm. Was I ok? Probably not. -Eleanor was supposed to get married but she gets kidnapped by Trinkulus. Again. She discovers that one of her superpowers is telepathy and uses it pretty much constantly. She wears her wedding dress the whole fucking time. -Bizarbara is v happy in the real world and finds this boy named Mikey who is the parallel of Space Punk so they're Destined to Be Together even though he Can't Know where she came from -If you couldn't tell Bizarbara's the Mary Sue protag. -All the banshees and mites hook up by the end so that's cool. I think Balbraka ends up with Herbie, Shotzi with Ack Ack, and Maligna with Dazzle. -The Earthmites are a football team and the earth parallel of the banshees are a drama club led by Mrs. Fairchild, the drama teacher. They're desperate for boys in their theatre department so they draft the guys and threaten to suspend them if they don't join the school play. That's a major plot tool. -I don't remember a lot but jeez it got really complicated -Punk and the mites and diva and the banshees end up in the real world!! For some reason. They go to school with Bizarbara. They have to go undercover. I think they hide in her basement at night? -The Earth parallel of Trinkulus was this asshat named Calvin and honestly he was just a fuckboy and that was his threat I swear to god he was just an entitled casual misogynist and therefore he was cosmically evil like middle school me was woke -He had a creepy Gene Kelly-esque number called "You Will Be Mine" I shit you not where did this come from????? I was 13 -Between Bizarbara and Eleanor there was more crying and gay subtext than a Steven Universe episode ladies and gents even if the latter was unintentional -Punk is useless throughout this whole thing like good job bb you're doing great just keep crying over your missing wife -I have a really vivid memory of Bizarbara breaking down in the third act turning point with the lines "I don't gotta do anything! Who do you think I am?!" and then Eleanor singing a soft chilled out version of "...you're a starmite........a miiiiighty starmiiiiiite.......you fight for the riiiiiight and unite to be free........" because fuck yeah emotional reprises I thought I was so dope -There's a super dramatic battle at the end with all the original characters involved and I feel like it's in the basement of the school library. Mikey barges in and Bizarbara's like "nooooo go back it's not safe I'll explain later" and it's suddenly and perfectly revealed that he grew up reading all the Starmites comics so he knows everything he needs to know to defeat the evil!!!!! -Bizarbara gets turned back to "ugly" Bizarbara somewhere near the end so she and Mikey sing a reprise of beauty within because BEAUTY IS ABOUT WHATS ON THE INSIDE AWWWWWWWW -FUCK I FORGOT HE PROPOSES TO HER WITH A PLASTIC STARMITES RING FROM SOME MAIL ORDER THING IN THE BACK OF ONE OF HIS COMIC BOOKS -I just wish i still had this fucking document ok anyway I'm going to bed