#statehouse headcannons

[distinguishedwitchparadise]

[s-e-v-e-n-24]

If I may squeeze in a request, Montana x Ark?

My beloveds <3

They're married. They've also never kissed because they're idiots and have been pining like 50+ years

[lehhoh7822]

personal theory on how the wttt verse works in terms of states

hi gang

cw: i do mention some policy/politics as a referential thing because this is a satirical series about american politics so these issues appear within the series.

welcome to the table. gotta love it. so

i think states represent

their people

their policy

their environment

(there's more focus on the first two definitely however the last one is also relevant. i also like mentioning this because it allows for good fic content, frankly.)

and then the relevancy of this changes depending on whats going on. when a state reflects one of these very strongly and cannot represent another, then you get manifestations of that. alternatively, enough division within the state and you get things like new jersey (watch his intro episode) and texas (cmon gang we all know im talking about austin). you can also see regional differences if they're stark enough (nocal and socal).

because texas is, within canon, implied to have did and non healthy multiplicity ("i feel like i saw this on Moonknight"), my next point is that depending on how geniunely major a difference is and how poorly one of the things is being represented by the state, the more intrusive whatever is going on becomes. so while most of the gang is generally..... kind of... fine... texas, as a state that is a swing state but still making big discriminatory policy represents the policy well, and the rights and needs of the people less so, meaning that instead of the mostly functional/positive multiplicity seen throughout the series starts becoming less functional altogether.

the government also represents people, policy and a little bit of environment. it/he also represents the system and its needs/wants; such as explicitly benefitting from the industrial military complex over in america, or with the democratic party utilising big issues as part of a campaign (re, overturning roe v wade).

states also probably have some kind of magic to them; they're manifestations who are older than the states as they are part of the US, and we know that loui definitely got something going on there. mother nature tries to get florida and when she misses, both texas and louisiana are soaked from afar, again, representing environment, but also magic is an abstract property which is perfectly realistic in thsi universe. the government does the statehouse; which is a house which externally appears to be normal and holds over 50 rooms and somehow was not destroyed already. this is all to say, the idea of states being able to manifest shit is not beyond canon. go nuts. show nuts, even

yeah lol anyone got any agreeeing/disagreeing opinions

[welcometoelliotstable]

Making characters autistic is a lifestyle.

Austin? Autistic.

California? Autistic.

New York? Autistic.

Texas? Autistic.

Nevada? Autistic.

Manhattan? Autistic.

San Francisco? Autistic.

Alaska? Autistic.

I can keep going if you like. (Also I’ll gladly explain why I headcanon each of them as autistic.)

[alaskasbignaturals]

its recently come to my attention that i rarely make states with hair colors other than shades of brown and I've been trying to think of like states that would have not brown hair/ maybe i might change some of my existing states designs(?) so I'm wondering what states in your mind have different colored hair other than brown- or like what specific hair style or type they would have

like for me i feel like utah is definitely very blond or at the very least a dirty blond.

[boba21521]

More headcannons ft. My silly ass friend!?

-Oklahoma 'secretly' smokes weed

-California + Oklahoma + Alaska are freinds due to mutual hatred/teasing of Texas

-Florida has really sharp teeth, which wouldn't be a problem if he didn't bite people to show affection

-Texas is genuinely afraid he's gonna wake up with a tattoo or dyed hair

-Alaska, Hawaii and sometimes Puerto Rico have sleepovers where they gossip like teenage girls

-New York REALLY likes Christmas

-The states teach each other phrases in their languages/dialects that gov doesn't understand so they can make fun of him

-Florida really likes the song Livin' Lavida Loca because it reminds him of Louisiana

-California has sobbed his eyes out to rises the moon before

-CDC and Gov swear they're relationship is strictly professional (spoiler alert, it most likely isn't)

[24-7fandombrain]

Some random WTTT headcanons because I have a cold and can't focus on anything:

Greg is mute. He communicates mostly with ASL, but most of the states don't know it, so he also carries a slate or gets a state who does know ASL to interpret

Florida has repeatedly stolen Gov's desk chair, to the point where Gov bolted it to the floor at one point to get him to stop (it didn't work)

If Alaska gets overwhelmed, he'll find his nearest dog and just bury his face in their fur. He will stay like that for several minutes to several hours

Alaska's dogs were abandoned off the side of the road. Alaska found them and decided to take them in, nurse them to health, then turn them in to a rescue. However, he eventually grew so fond of the dogs he couldn't bear to part with them

Florida's favorite ship dynamic is enemies-to-lovers, hence why he ships TexaCali. He also ships NY/NJ, VA/MA, and OH/MI

Louisiana, on the other hand, ships CaliYork. This has caused more fights between him and Florida than literally anything else

The states technically don't need to sleep, but still choose to sometimes so they can catch a break. The only ones that don't are New York and Gov

Mother Nature is a shapeshifter

Miami is the only character IDC can stand, and IDC is the only character who can stand Miami

Louisiana and Florida originally weren't sitting next to each other in the seating chart for the Table, but Florida forced the state sitting next to Louisiana to move so he could take their part

California has a small horde of stuffed animals/plushies

The states tried playing D&D once. It was total chaos and they never even reached the hook. Gov was originally the DM, then California took over right when the game started, then a fight broke about between him and Texas over who should DM. Florida ate at least one die

[derek-draws-stuff]

Random hc idea :3

Some of the states with more tropical climates and just states that are places people usually go to have fun in the sun would get sunspots.

Since they’re states and are basically old they get sunspots, I don’t know the specifics but they form more often the older you get and come from exposure to the sun over time. (Maybe it’s how they determine ages if they don’t know or if humans ever get curious about the states or something)

I feel like Florida, Texas, California, and maybe Arizona would have at least a few sunspots, probably other states too (and maybe cities as well), but this is what I thought of.

[crow-doc-with-a-pen]

Louisiana hates mirrors. (Tw: light death mentions and hallucinations, injury)

It's not an image problem or anything like that (he doesn't think that he looks nice, but he usually just ignores that). No, his problem with mirrors is what they do. It's an old tradition to cover up mirrors in a house before moving the deceased out. People did this (i don't know if people still do this) because they believe that mirrors had the ability to trap the spirit of the dead. Loui personally would keep up that tradition, unclear whether he believes in the reason for it. He believes in spirits and all that, because how else is he supposed to explain why whenever he glances at someone in the mirror, they look wrong, he looks wrong, they all look twisted and other. It's worse if he's not sober and alone. If he's been drinking, he'll wake up with his mirror shattered and glass embedded in his knuckles. If he's high, he'll wake up, backed into a corner out of sight of the mirror, getting told that he shouldn't scream so much. He tries not to think about what he sees. He's taken to keeping his mirrors covered or put away. He is tired of his distorted face and shattered glass.

[distinguishedwitchparadise]

New york have a habit to collect shiny object one of them is california

[s-e-v-e-n-24]

New York and his 5 rats Splinter, Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, and Michaelangelo

The TMNT hyperfixation he has may or may not be related to it

[emlovesstates]

Headcannon

Northeast states are angry because they're cold

New Mexico is angry because he's hot

When New Mexico was a territory to the US, the Northeast took him in, and that is why he has the attitude that he has now

Who is New Hampshire's idea to take him in?

 the other two being New York, and New Jersey agreed

And then, after some fighting with the rest of the Northeast, they all decided to take him in

When someone ask him why he's so angry he just says because it's so hot

[welcometoelliotstable]

I like to think California and New York argue about the Dodgers. New York saying “hey they’re still the Brooklyn Dodgers, you stole them from me” and cal just going “allegedly”

[alaskasbignaturals]

If you're up for it, I would love to hear ny/ma rambles. Like, just go absolutely bonkers

hehe youre enabling me jkhsdfa

this post got really long so uh its gonna be all under the cut teehee

honestly i think that theyre the typa couple that acts divorced but they have a super healthy relationship they just like to goof around and know each others boundaries

they both know what triggers the other and stays away from those type of things. they can be soft and will do it mostly in private bc they have a reputation to uphold but when the situation calls for it they wont hesitate to be comforting and soft out in the open.

also because mass was raising maine, when mass made like a good decision and said no to something maine would run and complain to york and york would saunter in all like hey the kid can have another cookie before bed! and mass is like bro PLEASE he will be off the walls i wont get any sleep please and york gives it to him anyways and then mass leaves him to suffer the consequences of his own actions hehehe.

i also think that since both the mta and mbta have their issues they will argue over which one is worse not better. and it will usually end in mass winning bc the mbta is the oldest subway system in the country and so a LOT of it still hasn't been updated bc of the constraints of the layout of the cities and towns. and york accepts defeat but basically goes "ok lets get you to bed grandpa" akljsdfhas

OH ALSO both mass and ny are very pigeon populated so id like to think they send messages with pigeons for fun :3 they can text but its nice to send a letter by pigeon once in a while, and it can also lead to some silly shenanigans.

mass once took york on the swan boats during the spring and then after that they walked through all the flowers and sat on the grass under a willow tree next to the water listening to the musicians and watching the painters and york nearly bawled bc it was so peaceful and beautiful.

similarly for new years york takes him right into times square for the ball drop and they get front row seats and have so much fun and share a kiss as the ball drops and every year they save the glasses and confetti as a souvenir.

id also like to think that york is a skier and mass snowboards. so they go together and do runs together in the winter. they go nightskiing/boarding as well which is always so much fun, doing tricks and flips in the dark illuminated by the spotlights. and then after they go to the lounge and drink cocoa and have waffles (for some reason waffles have been served at every ski mountain I've been too in new england)

they both have some of the best ballet companies as well. so they both dance very well. no this is not me self indulging as a person who did ballet since i was five what are you talking about. they both will attend each others nutcrackers every wintertime and they love dancing with each other. they will put on the soundtrack in their homes and dance out each scene together (i do this also bc i am deranged and mentally ill and i love the nutcracker <333)(its a good workout)

both the states excel in a lot of things so they love to do those things together ig is the gist of all that aksljdfhas

oh yeah and they both LOVE hugs, big ol squeezes. and they can just stand there for a long time. in comfortable silence. <3

i think thats all the ideas i have for now but there will always be more hehe

[wttt-dirus-work]

Lets begin the canadian headcanons!

Share for more result, I'll had the link when the poll's done.

Please share what you know about the provinces you chose, or just things in general you assumed about us!

[24-7fandombrain]

As much as I love the idea that Greg is just a random, normal guy who somehow got thrust into the statehouse, consider:

Cryptid!Greg

He's the sound guy. He hears everything. There's no true privacy in the statehouse because of him. If you leave the room he's in, you'll see him in the next one you enter. Just there. And you never saw him move. The states can't see the camera, but they can see Greg. He's just as self aware as the states are. He's always holding the boom pole, and he never falters. Never shows any sign that he's tired. (As someone who's been a boom op, they can start to wear on you after only a couple minutes). No one knows how old he really is. He's always just been there. He was there for Table History, but maybe he's been around for longer. None of the states would know, and it's not like they'd ask a country that's been around for longer if they'd seen him. They'd think the states were crazy. He doesn't seem to have friends or a family. Or a life outside of what goes down at the statehouse. He never leaves. He never sleeps. Boom ops have to hide just out of sight of the camera, and Greg is always just out of sight of the states. They only see him as glimpses of movement in the corner of their eyes, or, very rarely, when they address him directly. But it's only for a moment, and then he's gone.

No one knows what Greg is, and as such, they fear him.