#staying as my lockscreen forever and ever

[chrrywvea]

rammstein in groningen, 07.07.2023

during sonne

this is one of my shots! the post concert blues are staying for so long so here's moi going through all my pics & videos again☆

i love love love this one so much, i've had it as my lockscreen since the day after the concert♡ the flame over the tower almost looking like a heart and catching richard on the screen? i was so happy when i got this🥰

[earthtooz]

hi hi! so this is one part of my 5k event where i am accepting only EIGHT requests (so i don't burnout) from my followers for fics! to make this easier for me to write, i'm going to provide you all with a list of characters i'm willing to write for and some prompts + tropes!

please read the guidelines and rules if you are going to request!! happy requesting, hope to see u in my inbox ;>

˗ˏˋ EVENT MASTERLIST ´ˎ˗ THE CROSSED OUT MATERIAL MEANS YOU CAN NO LONGER REQUEST FOR IT

PROMPT LIST + TROPES: you are allowed to request more than one prompt/trope so go wild! the more material you give me, the more motivated i am to write it!

FLUFF: • 'i love every part of you, even the parts you don't' • 'i can't imagine a life where i don't adore you' • 'wow... you look... amazing' • 'sorry for the 7395 calls, i was worried' • 'you didn't ruin anything. actually, you made it better by coming.' • 'can i get a kiss? i think i deserve one.' • 'can i kiss you?', 'there's people watching!', 'let them' • 'go on a date with me and if you don't feel the same then i'll drop it, i promise' • 'you're not fine. c'mon, let me take care of you' • 'are we on a date right now?' • 'don't make me spell it out for you pretty, you know i want you' • 'am i your lockscreen?' 'you weren't supposed to see that' • 'when can i see you again?' (fluff or angst lol) • 'you came to my room at 4am to cuddle?' • 'i've waited so long to hear you say that' • 'stay with me. be it only for the night or forever, just please stay with me' • 'if there's really nothing going on between you, you won't care if i ask them out on a date, right?', 'no don't do that!'

ANGST: • 'i'm not going to kiss you- you broke my heart' • 'you're in my head, even when you're not supposed to be' • 'walk out that door and we're through' • 'please come home.' • 'you lied. you lied!' • 'if they even touch one strand of hair on your head, they're dead.' OR 'i don't want one strand of hair on your head damaged, do i make myself clear?' then taking the hit for them. • 'it's okay to leave me. please leave me.' • 'who could ever love someone like you?' • 'of course it was a lie the entire time. i was just pretending!' • 'don't fucking touch me!' • 'delete my contacts, we're done. don't ever talk to me again' • 'this is your favourite, isn't it?', 'was' • 'take what's yours then leave. i don't want to continue this anymore'

TROPES: • fake dating • dating for a bet • pining • forced proximity • accidental confession • soulmate!au (you can specify which version of the trope :D) • rivals to lovers • there's only one bed OR there's only one seat • 3+1 (my beloved) • enemies to lovers • or any trope you would like me to write!!! no dark content or i will kick you out >:( jk but no dark content!

CHARACTERS I'LL WRITE FOR:

from haikyuu!!: kuroo tetsuro + oikawa tooru + suna rintaro + miya atsumu + miya osamu + kageyama tobio

from blue lock: itoshi rin + nagi seishiro + michael kaiser + reo mikage + isagi yoichi + itoshi sae

from boku no hero academia: todoroki shouto + bakugou katsuki + kirishima eijiro + shinsou hitoshi + midoriya izuku + hawks

from jujutsu kaisen:gojo satoru + geto suguru + kamo choso + fushiguro megumi

aot: levi ackerman + eren yeager

RULES:

001: please do not give me your whole story!!! an ideal format would be something like this: 'can i get levi ackerman with 'it's okay to leave me. please leave me' and 'you're not fine. c'mon.' with the soulmate!au? this way i still have some creative liberty but you can still have some aspect of a story engrained in your request!

002: no nsfw, no dark content

003: i'm sorry, but i will not write for the requests that i can't see a storyline shaping. with that said, i might change up your ask a lil to see if i can get something going, so if your request isn't the original version, i'm sorry!

004: be nice. that's all !! ^-^

[lillaluna]

100 follower event!

Hello everyone, and the first thing I want to say is thank you! When I started writing here, I doubted myself and my abilities, I did not count on people's attention to my work, because English is not my native language. To be honest, I can't believe that as many as 100 beautiful people have subscribed to me!

RULES

Choose one line and up to two characters! You can specify who says the line (reader or character) and what situation/scenario is happening.

Some lines may be slightly altered depending on the character/situation.

The reader is always female.

In preference to writing about male adult characters.

I will try to fulfil all your requests, I doubt there will be many :)

ANGST

“Please don’t cry.”

“Why are you lying to me?”

“Wake up! Please wake up.”

“Forget it, you’re a fucking asshole.”

“Don’t you ever do that again!”

“Do you even still love me?”

“Can you shut up for once in your life?”

“Are you hurt?” “No.” “Then why are there bruises all over your face?”

“If you don’t hug me right now I think I might fall apart.”

“Leave! Me! Alone!”

“I said I would be there when you need it but...” “You weren’t. That’s the thing. You weren’t.”

“Please don’t leave me.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t feel the same way.”

“You’ve never hurt me. Ever.”

“I don’t want your apology.”

“I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.”

“It’s better this way.”

“There’s nothing you can do.”

“This isn’t who I fell in love with.”

“Please don’t make me choose.”

“Look at me in the eyes and repeat what you just said.”

“This is going to be our last kiss.”

“Because I can’t trust you.”

“Of course I’m angry with you! You left me and I needed you!”

“Say you need me, please.”

“I want you to stop touching me.”

“Why…. why do you love me…?”

“Don’t act like you care!”

“Don’t you DARE die on me!”

FLUFF

“Go with me?” “As long as you hold my hand.”

“Is there a reason you’re blushing like that?” 

“Have you seen my hoodie?” “Nooo.” “You’re wearing it, aren’t you?”

“Have you always been this beautiful?”

“Can we stay like this forever?”

“Please just kiss me already.”

“Sleep over? Please?”

“Are we on a date right now?”

“I think I’m in love with you.”

“Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?”

“Am I your lockscreen?” “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

“I missed you so much.”

“Give me attention.”

“I’m too sober for this.” “You don’t even drink.” “Maybe I should start.”

“You say you hate it but your face is telling me otherwise.”

“Stop flirting with me, I’m not going to fall for it.”

“Is somebody jealous?”

“They’re crying, what do I do?” “Go and comfort them.” “How do I do that?” “Start with hugs.” “With what?”

“I don’t think of you as a protector. You’re more like a distraction.”

“Stop hogging the blanket.”

“Your lips are chapped.”

“I can’t sleep without you.”

“I might have slept with your shirt while you were gone.”

“Were you watching me sleep?” “…no.”

“No, you can’t get up. You’re my prisoner for today.”

“It looks better on you.”

“May I have this dance?”

FUNNY

“Surprise! I’m back from the dead! Isn’t that exciting?”

“It’s a long story.” “I got time, try me.”

“I love you, but sometimes I want to throw you off a cliff.”

“I might have had a few shots.”

“I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“Are you really going to leave without asking me the question you have been dying to ask me?”

“Friends don’t look at each other the way you two do.”

“I’m not your friend. I’m your boyfriend, get it right.”

“I believe that was the very thing I told you not to do.” “Did you really think I’d listen?”

“You did what!?”

“We’d make such a cute couple.”

“All I do is drink coffee and say bad words.”

“Quit touching me, your feet are cold!”

“I think I just ripped my pants.”

“Sharing is caring, now give me the hoodie!”

“Can I pet your dog?” “Do I know you?”

“If I die, I’m haunting you first.”

“Can we please stop running? I think I’m dying.”

“You come here often?” “Well, I work here. So I think I’d have to say ‘yes’.”

“Aren’t we supposed to be working?”

[theabyssalmuses]

delete C:/server_c/simulation/litclub.exe/monika.chr confirm command: y / n? n command cancelled.

Monika sighs as the terminal closes once more. She falls back, laying upon her bed and staring at the ceiling, closing her eyes... She sees it again. The harsh cacophony of colour, the sum of all their existences- the crack in the wall, that she had peered out.

Her retinas were forevered burned with the sight, a horrifying afterimage that haunted her every waking moment. The knowledge loomed over her like a shadow- blocking out the light.

The console re-appears before her, with the flick of her wrist it answers her call- its second nature to her now, the keystrokes she's repeated again and again and again...

delete C:/server_c/simulation/litclub.exe/monika.chr confirm command: y / n?

She stares at the words on the screen. It would be so easy, wouldn't it? So simple. With just the press of a button, she wouldn't have to know anything anymore. She'd be free.

But...even if that would be the case...someone else wouldn't be.

She glances at her phone, her lockscreen a group photo of her and her friends.

"Sayori..." She mutters quietly, letting out a huff. Even if Monika could free herself, Sayori would only take her place as the next de-facto 'president'. The next unwilling lamb to the slaughter, the next Atlas the bear the burden.

n command cancelled.

Sayori didn't deserve that --- that was what Monika believed. The thoughts tumble over in her mind, over and over and over and over. Sayori doesn't deserve this burden- No one deserves this treatment-- but after all she's done, does Monika deserve it now?- but what can she do, continue living life with her friends? Does she deserve that? But in doing so and suffering, is that her penance? Could she ever forgive herself? But if not....--

vzzzz! vzzzz!

"Hm?" Monika's phone buzzes, and a message from Sayori appears on the screen - lighting up the room with the harsh white light. (She really should set her phone to dark mode.)

heyyyyyyyy moni did u have a copy of today's english lit notes??????? asking for a friend !!!

Emerald eyes narrow as she reads the message, before lighting up with a quiet laugh-- the usual Sayori, hopeless as always. Knowing her, she left her notes at school. The way she says 'asking for a friend' when everyone knows whom its really for.

"She always has been bad at saying what she wants." Monika muses aloud, typing out a reply with a soft smile. "Then again- i've always been the same way..."

ofc, tell ur friend i'll send in a sec, kk?

"....Is it really okay, I wonder..." She asks quietly to herself. If Monika were to vanish, Sayori would take this mantle- she doesn't deserve that, so Monika must stay. But to stay with her friends like this, and experience...happiness? After everything, does Monika deserve that? And yet, if she doesn't, they would surely all suffer, would they not?

"...Maybe i'm too focused on who deserves what. That's not how life works, really, is it? Not in this Reality, nor any other." she pulls up the console once more, staring at the blinking cursor with intent.

She blinks back.

"I just need to focus on doing better than yesterday. That's what life is about, isn't it? Maybe none of this is real, and maybe- someday - everything will get reset...but..."

She types into the console, tapping away at the keyboard with practiced precision- only stopping to backspace a typo once....twice. This was the least she could do. This was the most she could do. Getting over herself, this was the only option.

"But...it's all real to me. This is my reality, after all. That's why I have to do my best...to ensure there is happiness in the literature club!"

With a final determined gesture, she hits return on her keyboard, inputting her command to the console-- before finally closing it and gathering her notes from today's class...Sayori's 'friend' wouldn't wait forever!

i promise to look to the future. I promise i wont abandon my friends. this reality is as important to me as any other.

error: command not recognised.

[s1x-foot-deep]

these lock screen/phone background games never change for me a friend made phone bg pics of two of my ocs forever ago and theyve been my lockscreen/bg ever since. over 2 different phones. and its probably going to stay that way

[butterflydustsarchive]

´ ･ . * 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐧 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞 ...

ft. miller banks. / @lcnelylullabies​.

𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧.

it’s a picture taken from an exhibit she and miller went to together. it was probably one of the best days of her life and she likes to keep it as her lockscreen just to remember it (and because there’s no way ben’s going to do something like with her with her like ever).

'𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞' 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭.

a mini playlist she listens to while laying on the floor in agony featuring... 

quiet light by the national

nobody gets me by sza

about you by the 1975 

bigger than the whole sky by taylor swift

everything by MUNA

smoke signals by phoebe bridgers

francis forever by mitski

last kiss by taylor swift

𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭.

a collection of unsent texts stored in the notes app of her phone. 

text, 1:35am ( unsent ) :

tonight was such a shitty night. ben and i fought about the dumbest shit and i feel so fucking small and stupid and like i won’t ever do anything right and i just wish i could see you. and that’s so fucked because it’s not fair and i know i can’t just run to you after every little thing happens now but i just really need to hear your voice again. i’m too scared to call you though in case you don’t pick up even though i wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t i just miss you and i love you, you know? i really really do love you, miller, and i wish i told you that that night because i don’t know what to do without you. i feel so empty and miserable and everything is just wrong and i regret it all so fucking much and i’m so fucking sorry i think i’ll regret that night for the rest of my life

text, 3:49am ( unsent ) : 

i took a walk earlier tonight around all our old favorite places just to torture myself i guess and now i can’t shut my eyes without seeing you. and i like seeing you, but i also miss you so much that it hurts to see you since i know it’s not real … if that makes sense ? obviously i can’t sleep right now and all i want to do is call you and ask if you remember that night we ditched that weird costume party early (it wasn’t even halloween? i still think that we were about to get initiated into a cult tbh) and got super lost walking home … i hope you do because all i can think about is how i laughed so hard i honestly thought i might puke all over your shoes but it didn’t even matter and i didn’t even care that we had no fucking clue where we were, i was just happy that i was with you. god, i wanted to stay lost with you forever, i think. i don’t know if i’ll ever feel like that again, you know? i don’t think i’ll ever find anyone else like you. don’t think i want anyone else besides you, though

text, 6:01pm ( unsent ) : 

i wish you were here. i wish i could just… god, i don’t know, just fucking see you, somehow. remember that night i came back to your place after my first date with ben? how i just walked in your apartment and crawled in bed with you? i wish i could do that, now. i wish i could do that every day, honestly, just come home and lay with you and listen to you read to me and fall asleep to the sound of your voice. i don’t know what i could offer you besides a non-burnt meal every once in a while but i genuinely don’t think i’ve ever been as happy as when i was with you, no matter what we were doing or where we were. it always felt so real, you know? real and good and right and it doesn’t feel like any of that, anymore. i hope it does for you, though, that it exists for you outside of us. i just want you to be happy, more than anything

text, 12:16am ( unsent ) : 

it’s officially your birthday and i don’t know if i should actually text you or not or if that would make things worse but i’m sad thinking about how this will be one of the first birthdays in a long time that we won’t be together, no joint party or anything. i never really loved birthdays or birthday parties until i met you because at least then i had someone to commiserate with, you know? i didn’t have to pretend to be okay with all the attention and be excited and happy that i was getting older, with you. i miss our little party that we through for just us,  and you. think i might go to the library today just to feel like i’m close to you somehow, or maybe i’ll see if that new bookstore we used to walk by is finally open and i’ll buy you something even though i have no idea when you’ll ever get it. sounds kind of depressing now that i think about it so maybe i’ll just lay in the floor instead (happy birthday i love you)

text, 11:43pm ( unsent ) :

fuck, miller, i really miss you. i miss kissing you and feeling your skin on mine and your fingers on my waist and thigh and how i always felt so beautiful when you looked at me in that way you did and how you smelled and tasted and sounded and god, it wasn’t only ever just about sex for me but it was good, wasn’t it? it was always more than just sex. i know i’m not doing myself any favors thinking about you like this but i can’t help it. do you touch anybody like you used to touch me? does anybody touch you like i used to? it’s not anything like how it was with you with him. it’s not right, but i always just end up faking it so it can be over, and then i lay there while he sleeps and wonder what the fuck is wrong with me for hours on end. it’s so fucking embarrassing!!!!! i try to pretend it’s you sometimes when he touches me to see if it helps but it’s not the same and it won’t ever be the same because anyone could touch me but they’re not you. they’ll never be you and i think i’m okay with you being the only person i’ll ever have that with 

text, 7:22pm ( unsent ) :

im hiding in the bathroom at thsi stupid fancy dinner for my parents and maaaaaybe im very drunk already but wow is this not absolutely fucking unbearable ! i hate it hwen ben looks at me or tries to hold my hand its always so sweaty and weird i hate having to pretend that i love him and that im sooo excited to marry him when im not! im really fucking not. i cant even imagine being his wife because i love you and you’re all i fuckgin think about and i jsut. i dont knwo what to do without you miller i don’t know how to exist and feel okay about it or even pretend that i’m okay with it when i’ve never been more fucking miserable in my life and i dont want to marry him i want you . all i ever fuckign want is you and if it were you that asked me i wouldve said yes and i would've meant it evne now or when we’re old. i wouldve and im sorry im a wreck i dont know why you love me but ill always want you even if im with him

[mazeinthemiroh]

park seonghwa boyfriend headcanons

genre: fluff

word count: 0.6k

warnings: none

requested?: yes

song rec: dancing like butterfly wings by ateez

pls like and reblog if you enjoyed! feel free to request anything <3

a lot of you were asking. begging. pleading for me to do seonghwa bf headcanons

i honestly can't blame you

this man. this... this angel on earth-

i love him, love him so much

probably the sweetest guy you will ever meet. he is very humble and honest and so considerate of others ugh. he's just perfect.

as a boyfriend, he tends to prioritise your feelings and well-being ahead of his own. he will go above and beyond to provide and take care of you, in both little and big ways

he looks at you with those big, sparkly eyes that he does i'm gonna cry like you are literally everything to him. all he wants to do is make you feel happy and loved and wanted and appreciated

he is very in tune with his and other people's emotions, so he is attentive and aware if your mood turns negative. he believes that if you are feeling sad, neither he nor your should force yourself to be happy again. he wants you to just go through what you need to go through; he will lend a shoulder to cry on, give you tissues, run down to the shop to buy your favourite snack and support you through these negative emotions. he knows from experience that just letting these negative emotions come and go is much healthier than fighting with them. he will reassure you and ask if you want him to stay with you or let you have some alone time

likes to cuddle you in the morning. he will roll onto his side to see your sleeping form and will smile softly to himself, stretching his hand out to stroke your hair. he will shuffle closer and place an arm around your waist, cuddling you from behind pls i'm so soft for this man

you must know that dating seonghwa requires wearing matching pyjamas 🤷 its true he told me himself!! seriously though he would think it so cute matching pyjamas with you. will probably take a bunch of selfies with the both of you in these pyjamas cos yall look so cute together (and thennn he will put these pictures as his lockscreen <3)

he's a very soft and fluffy dude. he just wants to snuggle under the blankets and cuddle you all the time. when you are both cuddling he would say corny stuff like 'i could just stay here forever✨' and it always makes you giggle, but he isn't joking!!! just holding you close in comfortable silence, sometimes talking about random things, he feels so safe and loved :(

seonghwa would very much appreciate if you indulge his interests. mainly his star wars and lego addiction. you don't have to be an avid fan like him but as long as you don't hate it i think you'll be fine lmao. he will also be very open minded to cool things that you like as well!

date with him would include:

going to the park / walking around the river - he just loves walking and talking with you. it gives you guys to hold hands or link arms while you catch up about what happened that day

lego dates - yes i said it. if you like lego just as much as he does, he would love to build lego sets with you. it's always fun because you guys are creating something together whilst talking about all sorts of nonsense he'll probably make it into a competition to see who completes their lego set first, my man is competitive af!

go to the theatre - this is kinda random but i can just see seonghwa wanting to get dressed up with you and heading out to see a play or performance of some sort. he likes trying new things and what better way to do that than doing it with you?

basically seonghwa sets the standards for all other men, so true

[mosinterlude]

━━ DON'T DATE MY BROTHER! ✦ starry-eyed y/n

suggested tracks: francis forever - mitski. lights are on - tom rosenthal. watching him fade away - mac demarco. crack baby - mitski.

Nervously was how Y/N entered the HYBE building. After thinking long and hard(no pun intended) about what Taehyung had suggested, she decided that the first thing to do was speak to Riki. After showing the man at the desk her ID card Jimin had made for her(The thought of him leaves a pit in her stomach.) She heads for the stairs, despite the man’s suggestion that she take the elevators. She wasn’t exactly sure where to find him or that he was even there, but she knew Jungkook was there; If anything, she would tell him about her situation and ask him to relay a message to Riki. She finds Jungkook’s studio room, and knocks swiftly on the door. She was not expecting Riki Nishimura to open the door, peering down at her.

Y/N crumbles immediately. Seeing him upfront and close to her throws her into a frenzy. He looks perfectly fine, wearing that loose black and white striped shirt with black pants, his black hair curly and cute on him. His lips catch her eye, because he had a thin white scar on his bottom lip now. No fucking way, abort abort abort-

But something is weird. He doesn’t look mad. He looks glad, almost happy to see her. He grins, leaning half his body out the room.

“Y/N! I’m so glad to see you! What brings you here?” But Y/N’s mind is blank because she didn’t expect to actually see him. She was unprepared, and probably looked frazzled and underdressed(How can you underdress a casual style though.) 'He’s so beautiful. Konon is gonna kill me' is the only thought that runs through her mind as she stands there.

“Y/N? Y/NNNNN. Earth to N/N!” The use of her nickname brings her back, and her hands are burning hot as she tries to hide them sheepishly.

“Uh, i was here to drop something off to Jungkook, but i just realized i left it sitting on my kitchen table.” Y/N stammers, and immediately starts planning out her death as the words leave her mouth. She would walk into oncoming traffic, a clean and emotionally painless death for her would be fit. Riki, however, seemed none the wiser, and shook his head, laughing at her. He stepped back into Jungkook’s studio, opening the door as an invitation. She shook her head quickly, hands gripping the strap to her shoulder bag.

“Thank you, but I'm not staying for long. But since you’re here, I wanna talk to you.” He tilts his head, like a deer almost, and nods, signaling that he’s listening. “I’m sorry forlike blowing you off the other night. This is gonna sound super stupid but-” Before Y/N finish speaking he shakes his head, interrupting her.

“Because Konon doesn’t want you to. Yeah I already know.” He says it almost apologetically, but Y/N tilts her head, pursing her lips.

“Huh? What are you talking about? I mean, I couldn't go because of Konon, but it’s for a totally different reason.” She frowns at him.

“What? No, Konon texted me that she didn’t want me to hang around you and to stay away, something about her not wanting us alone together. Here, look.” He pulls his phone out of his phone, tapping it to unlock it. His lockscreen was a photo of him and his younger sister Sola. She was so sweet, like a little doll, always wanting to play when Y/N visited Japan.

Riki unlocks it, opening up his messages and handing the phone to Y/N. The more she reads, the deeper the frown lines around her lips get. There’s a full conversation of Konon arguing with Riki to stay away from her, and to pretend like she doesn’t exist unless Konon is there.

“B-but this doesn’t make sense.” Just the other night Konon was clinging to her, not wanting to let her go even so Y/N could refill her drink. She would pull her away from Olivia when she would lean into her, not wanting her to feel left out. “I have to go.” Suddenly, she was feeling overwhelmed. Lately, whether it was the best new ever or a stupid prank, she would burst into tears. It was fucking annoying, but ever since she blew up on Jimin, the floodgates opened every five minutes.

“Wait, hold on.” Riki does something on his phone, then hands it to her. “Put your number in my phone so I can reach you.” She nods, and she's too focused on quickly putting her number in and getting out of there that she doesn’t notice that he already typed in a contact name for her. ‘starry-eyed y/n’ She plasters on a fake smile and heads him back his phone, then turns on her heel. She leaves so quickly that she doesn’t even think to ask why he was at Jungkook’s studio to begin with.

She cries in her car in the parking lot for forty minutes, for reasons so couldn’t begin to explain.

✿ * 𓈀 synopsis :: Being Park Jimin's younger sister comes with pros and cons. Cons, Park Y/N will never experience a true day of peace in her life. Pros, they were able to became friend's with other idol's sisters, and even though they became friends because of their brothers, they stayed friends because they all fit together, like pieces of a puzzle. Only thing? Don't fall for anyone's brother. Easy enough, until Y/N exposes her two year crush on Nishimura Konon's brother, Nishimura Riki. Not just to Konon though, half the world.

prev. masterlist. next.

ꗃ : ˖ ۫ ◖ 𓂃 mo's interlude :: SURPRISE SHAWTY😍😍 im back and its with a banger lets go

ꗃ : ˖ ۫ ◖ 𓂃 taglists :: ddmb taglist. @a-era @ijustmetyouandthisiscrazy @oddeonu @bigtoewinwin @szniki @meiiiwa @artstaeh @nomniki @tzyuki @lcv3lies @nikilvr @wonieleles @seosracha @ivyxily @zeesondiary @lunaflvms @alderiasamantha @ethereallov3 @afiaaaa19 @lil-iva perm taglist. @jangwonie @strwberrydinosaur @luv4vernon

[down2illusions]

One Call Away

Focus Ship: Steven Grant x Reader

Word Count: 607

Content: Pre-Series, fluff

Summary: Steven wakes up in an unfamiliar location. He calls you to see if you would help him out

A/N: I just had this idea for a while and wanted to get it out there. This was slightly inspired by the fact that Steven somehow missed the time and date on his phone despite it probably being on the lockscreen, but honestly, that’s a mood. I hope you enjoy, and if you don't Happy Scrolling!

Steven fidgeted with his phone. The battery was less than 20% and it was only getting lower the more he stared at the call button. 

It wasn’t even six in the morning, yet. You were probably asleep, even if you weren’t you probably had a class to teach in the morning. Everything in his head told him not to press the button, and yet, with shaky breath, he pressed the icon anyway. 

It rang once. Then twice. Three times, then it picked up. “Hey, you’re up early,” Steven could hear the smile in your voice. That alone managed to get him to slow his racing thoughts.

“Uh, yes. I am,” Steven peaked around outside of the brick wall to look at the street he doesn’t recognize. He heard you call his name like you’ve said it more than once. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry for calling you so early, it’s just– I don’t know where I am?”

“What do you mean?”

Steven got out of the alley and started walking down the street, “I woke up and I was outside with my clothes on– I don’t think I’ve ever been around here before.” None of the shops looked familiar and none of them were open either. 

“Send me your location, I’ll pick you up.”

“What? No, I- you have a class to teach today don’t you,” Steven asked.

“In the afternoon, besides if you’re lost why else would you call me?”

“My phone is at 17%, and my phone wouldn’t let me look up a bus schedule on the internet, I was hoping you could tell me.” As flimsy as it sounded, it was true. Steven had tried to look it up himself, but was met with the cruel, unforgiving face of a white screen that wouldn’t load. “I really don’t want to disrupt your morning.”

“Don’t worry about it, just send me where you are and I’ll be right over.” 

“Alright, then.” Steven went over to the message board and clicked the button, then waited.

It felt like forever passed him by until you disrupted the anxious silence. “Steven,” you asked, “do you know that you’re in Cambridge right now?”

No, no he did not.

So Steven stayed some business district in Cambridge for quite some time without much to do except try to find a good spot wait. Eventually, he saw your car come around and he practically jumped right in, thanking you profusely.

“I honestly, don’t know how I got there. I’ve wandered outside of my apartment before, but I never went that far out.”

“This happened before,” you asked with a fearful shock.

“Yeah, I never mentioned it to you before, but I sleepwalk. Should I have told you that earlier?” Steven hasn’t known you very long, but in the past few couple of months, the two of you had talked many times. You frequented the museum and have even brought your classes there to study the artifacts for assignments, that’s when he met you officially for the first time.  

“It never came up, I wouldn’t worry about it,” your eyes drifted from the road to him, but shot back.

“I usually have it handled, I haven’t woken up anywhere strange in a long time. Usually I just have these Inception–levels of bonkers dreams instead.”

“You know, it’s gonna be a long ride home, I’m kinda hungry, do you want to tell me about it over breakfast?”

Without a sliver of hesitation, Steven said yes. As he was scrolling through his phone, now charging in your car, for a place to eat breakfast, his popped up with ideas so he can return the favor.

[dahbeez]

1. "You're such a dork."

2. "Get over here, you doof."

3. "Cheeky."

4. "You're so needy."

5. "Kiss me again."

6. "You're so adorable!"

7. "Look at you... goodness, you're so cute!"

8. "I'm just so happy!"

9. "I can't stop smiling."

10. "I like that you make me laugh so much that my cheeks hurt."

11. "You are being extra sweet today."

12. "Oh, look at you!"

13. "Your eyes are so pretty."

14. "I'm really happy that you're here with me."

15. "Thank you for staying with me."

16. "I don't think I've ever loved someone this much before."

17. "I feel like I'm in the clouds when I'm with you."

18. "You're like my hero/heroine."

19. "I'm gonna tickle you if you don't come over here."

20. "My, oh my. You are such a beautiful creature."

@drink-it-write-it​

21. "Go with me?" "As long as you hold my hand."

22. "Is there a reason you're blushing like that?"

23. "Have you seen my hoodie?" "Nooooo..." "You're wearing it, aren't you?"

24. "OH you're jealous!"

25. "Can we stay like this forever?"

26. "Please just kiss me already."

27. "I think you might be my soulmate."

28. "Sleep over? Please?"

29. "Are we on a date right now?"

30. "I think I'm in love with you."

31. "Are you flirting with me?" "You finally noticed?"

32. "Am I your lockscreen?" "You weren't supposed to see that."

33. "I wish we could live together already."

34. "They're so cute when they're asleep."

35. "I just wanted to let you know that I think you're beautiful."

36. "Quit touching me, your feet are cold!"

37. "Sharing is caring, now give me the hoodie!"

38. "Give me attention."

39. "You met me yesterday." "Yes, and I would die for you. Next question."

40. "She's hiding behind the sofa."

41. "Did you just hiss at me?"

@wishiwasanavenger-archive​

42. "Have you kissed anyone before?"

43. "Can I kiss you?"

44. "You're not hurting me, you're not heavy. I've got you, love.” 

45. "I look at them and I just... it's like when the Grinch's heart grows three sizes."

46. "I don't... I've never... been in a relationship before and I'm going to make mistakes... I just need you to tell me. I need you to talk to me."

47. "You didn't tell me your friend was cute! Now what am I going to do?"

48. "You give me a reason to be better, to do better."

49. "God, you are so fucking cute."

50. "I love you, but I need you to go away because you're really bloody distracting and I have to pass this test tomorrow."

51. "Oh no... they're cute."

52. "I can't talk to cute people, okay? I don't know how to flirt!"

53. "God, I love your face."

54. "Don't look at me, I'm a mess!" "I love it when you're a mess!"

55. "Please do your homework for me...? Just one time." ... "I said one time, y'know... you didn't have to start studying. Not that I'm not proud or anything."

56. "I'm already home."

57. "Your comfort and happiness is more important to me than some stupid dinner."

58. "Stop moving! I'm going to have to start counting all over again!"

59. "I just thought that since you weren't feeling too good, this would help."

60. "I'm not kissing you in the rain! We'll catch our death!"

61. "Would it help if I stayed?"

62. "I apologise sincerely if my beautiful/handsome face has kept you up all night."

63. "God, you're pretty."

64. "Calm down, it's just a chocolate bar!"

65. "Please, tell me you brought a toothbrush?"

66. "You take the bed, you need it more than me."

67. "You're so warm!"

68. "You're freezing, Jesus!"

69. "You always look beautiful."

70. "Your hands are so small!"

71. "Sometimes I just want to cuddle, okay? Is that so bad?"

72. "Now I know where half my wardrobe went."

73. "Here, let me just–" 

74. "You're really special to me."

75. "That tickles!"

76. "We only have one room left for the night..."

77. "Naps are life, okay?"

78. "I don't think I could love you anymore than I already do."

79. "I had the weirdest dream..."

80. "I got you a trophy, it's only plastic, but it's for being the best human I know."

81. "Someone keeps leaving love notes in my locker and I don't know if I should find it endearing or creepy..."

82. "I love your voice."

83. "Put me down! I can walk!"

84. "Can... can you come over?"

85. "You're the best."

86. "Can you please stop biting your lip, it's distracting."

87. "I thought you liked love songs!"

88. "I know you're not a fan of Valentine's day... I just thought that maybe I could change your mind..."

89. "You're my favourite know-it-all."

90. "That was the least romantic proposal in the entire history of proposals."

91. "I never knew you were a romantic at heart."

92. "I made it. For you. I know it's not the best, but..."

93. "Let me carry that."

94. "How do you know my favourite drink?" "I'm observant."

95. "We've known each other's for years and I don't think we've ever had a proper conversation."

96. "You're the clumsiest person I know, how did you survive past childhood?"

97. "It's always time for a milkshake."

98. "You know, humming the James Bond theme tune defeats the point of sneaking."

99. "I think your cat wants to kill me."

100. "Where have all my jumpers gone?"

101. "I don't get paid enough for this shit."

102. "Oh my God, I love you."

103. "I told you to bring a jacket."

@writings-of-a-hufflepuff​

104. "Is that my shirt?" "You mean our shirt?"

105. "It's you, it always has been."

106. "You're everything I could've wanted and more."

107. "Kiss me."

108. "Home stopped being a place when you entered my life."

109. "You should probably go home." "But I'm already home."

110. "You're an idiot." "But you love me."

111. "I'd do anything for you."

112. "You took all the pillows so I'm using you as one."

113. "Stop moving and let me braid your hair."

114. "I'm so proud of you."

115. "You are my family."

116. "I'm right here."

117. "Can you just please hold me?"

118. "I'm pretty sure they're my soulmate."

119. "This reminded me of you."

120. "Your hair is really soft."

121. "Are you blushing?"

122. "Can I stay here tonight?"

123. "Because I love you."

124. "Make a wish!"

125. "I love seeing you smile."

126. "You're just a softie."

127. "You are crushing me right now."

128. "Darling I love you and all, but please step out of the kitchen."

129. "Take my hand. Just trust me."

130. "You're the only thing that matters."

131. "Did you know that you talk in your sleep?"

132. "Hey, look at me. Focus on me, alright?"

133. "Why can't I get you out of my head?"

134. "Don't let go."

135. "Stay."

@blisfvll​

136. "You smell really nice."

137. "If you steal the blanket, I'm going to put my cold feet on you."

138. "You're comfy."

139. "But I want to hear you sing."

140. "Don't get up – I'll do it."

141. "Care to give me a back scratch?"

142. "Your bed head is really cute."

143. "How about a kiss?"

144. "Uh oh, I know that look. What do you want?"

145. "Are you really flirting with me right now?"

146. "I like the way your hand fits in mine."

147. "You have something in your hair, umm... do you want me to get it out?"

148. "It's nice that your voice is the first thing I heard today."

149. "This movie is really scary, but you're into it so I'm trying not to cover my face the whole time but– WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?"

150. "Wait, don't pull away... not yet."

151. "Half the time I get too embarrassed to say anything."

152. "No, it's fine. I can wait until you're done talking to them."

153. "No, like... it's just, I can't believe you're actually wearing my clothes."

154. "I've been trying to get ready for like an hour and an half because I know you're going to look so good and I need to try and match up."

155. "I wanted to say 'I love you' for the first time without stuttering, but that failed."

156. "We could order pizza and just stay like this all day."

157. "It's not a double date. We're just third and fourth wheeling."

158. "I remember practicing how to ask you out in the mirror..."

@marauder-exe​

159. "It's not funny!"

160. "That wasn't suppose to happen."

161. "Hurry back."

162. "I can't take you seriously."

163. "Problem solved."

164. "That was embarrassing."

165. "It's freezing in here."

@love-me-a-good-prompt​

166. "I love you, baby."

167. "Hey, cutie."

168. "I promise to love you for the rest of my life."

169. "You're my world."

170. "I don't care if you're sick, catching a cold from kissing you is worth it."

171. "You are so perfect."

172. "Marry me?"

173. "You're the best part of me."

174. "Stay here with me. For the rest of our lives."

175. "I'm speechless, you're so beautiful!"

176. "Come here, I need to hug you."

177. "When everything's wrong, it's you that makes it right."

178. "You're the one."

@raggedy-dxctor​

179. "Well, it's the thought that counts." "Wait, no, don't take my kisses away from me!"

180. "Oh, you've started stealing my socks now?"

181. "You owe me a kiss."

182. "How did you get in here?"

183. "That's not even fair."

184. "You promised me a cookie!"

185. "Ew, that is so sappy, I might vomit."

186. "You're not very intimidating."

187. "That was, by far, the stupidest thing you've ever done."

188. "Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer."

189. "Why the hell is there glitter everywhere?"

@whcczes​

190. "I'll feel much better if you let me walk you home."

191. "Apparently, all our friends have a bet going that we end up together."

192. "You make me feel alive. For the first time ever, I feel like I can breathe."

@moanlightlust​

193. "It's two in the morning and you want to cuddle?"

194. "You shine so bright it's intimidating. I love it."

195. "I'm here."

196. "What's your name again? Sorry, I just got that super weird feeling that we only see in movies, you know? Like, the whole world stopped turning and all I could see was you."

197. "I was born to be yours."

198. "Isn't it a bit too cliché?"

199. "So, you're just kissing strangers for no apparent reasons?"

200. "You'll always be my favourite person."

201. "You're making it weird, stop making it weird."

202. "There's nothing I love more than running back into your arms."

203. "I'm yours. Forever."

204. "You always know how to cheer me up."

205. "I... I lost the ring."

206. "Will you be mine?"

207. "Darling, you look perfect tonight."

208. "You saved my life."

209. "Don't give me that look. No... NO! I said no puppy dog eyes! You know I can't resist them! Argh, fine!"

210. "I missed you and your bad puns and even your horrible cooking and the way you fit perfectly against my body when we cuddle. I just really missed you."

211. "We're a team, remember?"

212. "There's no place I'd rather be than by your side."

213. "Your smile brightens the whole room."

214. "I kinda adopted a puppy behind your back... don't be mad! Look at those cute fluffy paws!"

215. "You're burning up. Guess I need to activate my nurse mode."

216. "I love you. As in more than friends, more than best friends and more than super extra best friends."

217. "I love you just the way you are."

218. "We need to kick his ass, no questions asked. You in?"

219. "Hot chocolate and cuddles? Kisses?"

220. "You make me feel pretty."

221. "You'll always be my best girl."

222. "Never hide yourself from me."

223. "Babe! There's no toilet paper!"

224. "I'll never give up on you."

225. "Do you feel that shirt? That's boyfriend material."

226. "That prank went so wrong."

227. "Care to dance, my love?"

228. "AH! You're stuck with me!"

229. "You're too good to me."

230. "Is it that time of the month?"

231. "Can I braid your hair?"

232. "It's okay to have doubts, as long as you don't let them overwhelm you."

233. "Come here! I can't stand to be so far away from you!"

234. "I got you."

235. "I wanna fall asleep next to you every night and wake up every morning with you by my side."

236. "Stop, I need to finish this!"

237. "I just wanna binge watch The Office, but it's not the same without you."

238. "Because I care about you!"

239. "I just wanted to impress you."

240. "I love you even though your breath stinks right now."

241. "Did you just puke on me?"

242. "We should get drunk and do stupid things."

243. "I always know what you're thinking about, babe. You're like an open book!"

244. "Could you sing to me?"

245. "I, uh, could you... could you play with my hair, please?"

246. "Nooooo, don't leave! I'm cold!"

247. "I think you're suffering from a lack of vitamin me."

248. "A mistletoe? Really?"

249. "Will you join me, love?"

250. "I have feelings for you."

251. "You are the reason."

252. "Take my hand, I wanna show you something..."

253. "You have a lovely name."

254. "You're my everything."

255. "You do know a lot about my blushing schedule."

@voilawind​

[chifuyuzu]

leap of faith — sano manjiro x reader.

word count — 1.3k.

genre — fluff fluff fluff, i love sweet mikey.

contains — cursing, timeskip SPOILERS present, reader is gender neutral.

description — sano manjiro is in love with you, and he realizes how much he loves you at the ass crack of fuckin' dawn.

author's note — hey besties, this is my first published fic here, kinda short but mikey brain rot is heavy. i hope you enjoy this cute fic before i rip your hearts out with some angst in a few days :^) reblogs and likes are always appreciated! and please give me feedback in my inbox! hehe, enjoy.

“it’s late.”

you know. but you still wanted to hear the sound of his voice before bed.

“mm… i missed ya’, is that a crime?” your voice echos through the receiver, the sound of your duvet crinkling in the background as you shift in place. sano manjiro was a busy man. always has been, always will be. being the leader of a biker gang was never easy—let alone some “new age” criminal organization.

you didn’t understand why manjiro persisted to play this game of russian roulette with his life. but it was never your place to overstep, especially since this was his life. it was all he knew, all he understood. you’re not sure what he’s doing, or if he’s even allowed to talk on the phone at this hour, but you still wanted to hear him. just so you know he’s alive and well.

you hear him chuckle, the sound of his feet scurrying against whatever floor his sandals were clacking against. the background noise that accompanied him earlier has dissipated; you realized he probably went outside to hear you better.

“your crime is loving a fool like me way too much. don’t think you’re sane.” he’s right. you’re actually crazy for even pursuing him. there was a lot of push and shove in the beginning, both parties scared of being hurt and getting hurt. but you were always there, even when manjiro went through whatever darkness was eating at his soul.

“crazy for you.”

“corny.”

“you love me.”

a pause. eerie enough to send shivers down your spine. why wasn’t he responding? did something happen? did you smother him too much? is he regretting—

“marry me.”

… not what you were expecting. especially not over the phone.

“sano manjiro, did you just propose over the phone? what kind of shitty rom-com are we in?”

“is that a no?”

“... never said that.” you wanted to marry him. but you wanted him to put that lifestyle behind, for the sake of the family you might have in the future. kids, dogs, cats, etcetera. you wanted him to be in, one hundred percent. but you knew he was too deep into this world to run now—especially since he’s so well-known as the ‘invincible mikey.’ you still longed for a happy home with manjiro, and a normal life.

“maybe you’re right. it’s not my style to ask you this over the phone.”

“try again later. when you’re really ready.”

the gag is, he is ready.

manjiro hurries home, blond locks hidden underneath a thin, black hoodie. he’s shaking, like a pomeranian in the presence of fireworks. his hand meets the left side of his chest, back pressed up against the grey colored wall of your shared apartment as he slides down to sit on the floor. it was four in the morning, and manjiro was about to shit himself.

he gulps, eyes peering around for you, double checking that you were fast asleep before he makes a phone call. his fingers tapped the back of his iphone, impatiently waiting for the other caller to answer. though it was the crack of dawn, he still needed some moral support.

“mikey? fuck you callin’ for at this hour? haven’t heard from you in mo—”

“ken-chin. i’m proposing.”

a loud ‘flop’ rang through the receiver, accompanied by the bedsheets seemingly slipping underneath draken’s feet. it was a huge bomb to drop, especially when the duo has been separated for months on end. manjiro hears more shuffling, followed by a few curses. “you’re fucking lying. the one you’ve been one since—?”

“yeah. i’m crazy as hell. but i love them. head over heels. i’m a goddamn simp.”

“why the hell am i the first to know, man?”

“you’re m’best friend, even if i need to stay away from you. and, also… you’re not the first to know. i asked them already.”

“you WHAT? don’t fuckin’ tell me you did it some dumb way like over the pho— you did. you’re impulsive enough to do it like that, too.” regardless of how long it’s been, draken still knows and understands manjiro like nothing ever happened.

“yeah… not romantic. but i can’t see myself with anyone else. i trust no one else. but i… am…”

“scared? man, you’re the head of a criminal organization. ‘course you’re scared. you don’t want the love of your life… to get hurt…” his voice trails off and manjiro’s heart tenses even more. the memories of the past still felt fresh. all the people they lost in tokyo manji… could never be replaced. not in a million years.

but the living must live.

“i love y/n. never felt like this before. i’d quit everything. but i would have to make sure they’re safe and whatever future we have together is secure. i know i promised takemichi that i’d protect everyone and that future he worked so hard to save… but what about mine?”

manjiro really did sacrifice everything for his friends. being the type of person who carries everyone else’s burdens takes a toll on his mental. he felt selfish for wanting to leave it all behind. but maybe being selfish was beneficial once in a while.

“listen—”

“do you think i’m stupid?”

“mikey. you’re not stupid,” draken sighs, shuffling again in place. “you just want to love someone and be loved in return. nothin’ stupid about that. what is stupid though, is you proposing over the damn phone.”

he’s not wrong. it was a spur of the moment decision that could drastically change his life forever. but with you, he doesn’t care. as long as you’re his, forever.

“how do you think i should do it?”

“well. i guess, tell me some sappy shit. how do you feel about them, and whatnot.”

“i don’t think i could ever imagine me with anyone else. a lot of people have tried to grab my attention but i only have eyes for y/n. sometimes when shit gets real hard…” manjiro takes a deep sigh, fingers threading through his hair, tilting back the hood to let it fall onto his back. “i think of y/n and i remember that even in this shit world, someone is here for me. someone cares about me. they make me feel like i’m not alone anymore.

i have dreams ‘bout us, y’know? me and y/n… kids running around. a little mikey clone. pissin’ them off because we want little flags on our meals. going to the park and letting kids be kids. maybe i’ll teach ‘em at a dojo like gramps did for me and my siblings. maybe i’ll teach ‘em about bikes—with your help, of course.”

draken laughs, letting his friend continue his little speech as he gets comfortable in bed again. don’t think i’ve ever seen mikey like this, ever, draken muses.

“man, we can own a whole zoo if we wanted. chifuyu could hook us up, in secret, of course. still have to protect everyone,” manjiro is grinning from ear to ear, head resting against the wall. “i wanna grow old with them. honestly, i didn’t think i’d make it to my twenties. more so, i didn’t want to live past twenty-something. but now… things are different. wanna be old and gray. see grandkids terrorize our children. die together.”

the tension in manjiro’s chest has faded away, only left with warmth that only you could bring him. his free hand reaches into his pocket to fumble with a small box, snapping it open to reveal the engagement ring his grandfather handed down to him.

he wasn’t the marrying type. but for you, he was.

“that all? you sound good like that, man. make an exception and let us come to the wedding.”

manjiro wants that more than anything. his friends, you... all safe. all happy. but again, the fear creeps up. he doesn’t know what to do with himself if any of you get hurt.

“... how do i tell y/n that?”

“you already have.” your voice makes him jump, knocking the velvet box out of his fingers and onto the hardwood floor. his face pales, followed by a huge lump forming at his throat when he sees your figure emerge from your shared bedroom.

“i-uh… i thought you were a-asleep.” manjiro mumbles, earning a huge laugh from draken on the other side. he hears him say something along the lines of ‘my cue to leave. good luck. send me an invite.’

“i was waiting for you.” 

he’s sweating now, a small bead forming at the base of his neck. his phone is now at his side, the screen flashing from draken’s caller id to the lockscreen photo of you on your first date together, a few years back. your eyes zone into the box, though.

“i was going to do this… better. god, i fucked up, huh?”

you’re laughing now, rubbing your tired eyes before you join him near the wall, picking up the box. “what makes you think that, dummy?”

now he’s confused. you wanted him to ask when he was serious, but in his head, serious meant rose petals, candles, someone singing celine dion in the distance.

without a word, you slip the ring onto its appropriate finger, holding up to the small rays of sunlight that peaked through the window from the approaching sunrise. manjiro’s hands fly up to your face, holding his whole world in his hands. his eyes are shiny, on the brink of tears. you nudge your noses together, foreheads connecting tenderly. your hands hooked onto the hem of his hoodie, bringing his frame closer as you whisper a soft ‘yes.’

“yes?”

“yes, i’ll marry you.”

manjiro’s lips curl up into the silliest grin you’ve ever seen him sport, before he presses a soft kiss to your lips. now he’s kissing you quite desperately. as if he’s trying to make sure you’re real, that this isn’t a dream. you feel his words vibrate against your lips, “gonna make you so happy, i promise. i love you. i love you so, so much.”

“forevermore.”

“forever yours.”

[gureishi]

How do you think Saeyoung would react to seeing that MC has a photo of him as her LockScreen? 🤎

Ohhhhh how CUTE.

Well, if you’ve been together for a while, he already knows. He posed for the picture. He said “Make this one your lockscreen, babe,” and looked over your shoulder till you did it. Every time he sees it he winks at you and says “That’s meeeee!” and you kind of want to hit him and also give him a million kisses.

But if it’s early in the relationship? Ohohoho. I got carried away and wrote a drabble about it (lol) and hereeee it is:

The trees rushing past the window are blurry and the window itself is rain-streaked and your thoughts feel heavy. You tuck your knees up to your chest and rest your head on them. It feels like you’ve been driving for days—years—forever.

“Sleepy?” he asks, and his voice startles you. You offer him a smile, but you know your eyes look hazy.

“A little,” you say. “You?”

Because he is the one who has been driving for hours (forever), and he is the one who needs to stay awake. You could drift off, if you wanted to. But you don’t quite want to.

“Nah,” he says—but he’s lying. You’re not sure when you started being able to tell—but you can, now. His fingers (always drumming, twitching) are still, and his voice is a little too loud. He is tired, you think. Of course he is. He is strong—but he is human.

You reach for your phone. You’ve had quiet music playing over the car’s speakers for hours; perhaps livelier music will help. 

His hand shoots out—brushes yours. You jump, and he grins.

“Let me,” he says.

“Focus on driving!” you admonish—but he’s already swiped your phone from you, and there’s a telltale sparkle in his eyes.

“I can do two things at once,” he says. “Or more.” He waggles his eyebrows at you and you groan. 

“Just pick a song and keep driving,” you tell him. He giggles.

There’s nobody else on the road—there hasn’t been for miles and miles. He glances down at your phone.

And—oh.

Oh.

You realize, too late, what is about to happen.

“Is...” he stammers. You are reaching madly for the phone, but he lifts it out of your grasp, one hand on the wheel. His eyes are huge. “Is that...”

“It’s—nothing—give—me—my—phone,” you grunt. He ignores you.

“Did you...” Oh, and he blushes so easily: his cheeks are bright pink, and his eyes are dancing. You want to kiss his beautiful face. You want to scream. You want to disappear into a void and never be seen or heard from again.

There is a prolonged pause.

Then: “...yes,” you mutter, eyes on the ground. If he is flushed, you are burning. “Yes. It’s, uh...you.”

You sneak a glance at him. He seems shell-shocked. He looks down at your phone. Back at the road. Back at the phone.

At you.

It’s not like you took the picture in secret—he knew it was happening. It was the other day, while you were taking a break, sitting side-by-side in a parking lot. In the picture, he has a candy bar in his hand and he’s grinning at you; the setting sun makes his eyes shine like fire on water.

“You looked so cute,” you mutter, knowing what a mess you must look, bright red and stammering. “I just—I wanted to—”

He sets the phone back down on the console. With one hand, he reaches for you—cups your cheek with his scarred palm, runs his thumb over the skin beneath your eye.

“No one’s ever...” he says. He pauses; you are surprised to hear how raw he sounds. “This is, uh...am I your...”

He stops talking. His fingers drum on the steering wheel. You know what he means.

“I just thought...” you whisper. “I mean, on TV, people make their lock screens their, uh...”

“Boyfriends?” he asks. You look at him full on; above his pink cheeks, his eyes are dancing. Oh, you think: he is even more beautiful now than in the picture—he becomes, in fact, more beautiful every moment.

“Yeah,” you say. 

And he is still driving, but he leans closer. And you know better, but the roads are empty—but he has that look in his eyes—but he is the sky and you are falling into him.

He kisses you. 

“The—!” you gasp into his parted lips. “Driving...!”

He cackles as he pulls away. You both turn to the road; he is still driving in a perfectly straight line. You shake your head.

“You’re amazing,” you tell him.

He smiles; his smile, you think, sparkles like soda: fizzing and sweet.

“No,” he says firmly. “You are.”

You won’t fight him on this one. Because you adore him. Because he is being perfectly honest. 

Because he is yours.

[sunmoonandeddie]

feelings are fatal (19/24)

pairing: bucky barnes x reader, past steve rogers x reader

word count: 3,667

summary: After the events of Endgame, you struggle to come to terms with what you’ve lost, though you’re learning that you still have something to gain.

chapter warnings: swearing, violence, slight smut maybe??, soldat makes an appearance

masterlist

a/n: This is part THREE of my blog birthday surprise!

It had been two weeks.

Two of the hardest weeks that Bucky had ever experienced in his entire life.

Two weeks without hearing your voice.

Two weeks without seeing you smile.

Two weeks without feeling the way your hand would slip into his when no one else was looking—and even when they were sometimes—and give a gentle squeeze, reassuring him that you were there.

And you weren’t going anywhere.

But he hadn’t had it for two weeks and he felt like he was going to fall apart at the seams. It had been a lot of fits of rage that turned into all-encompassing breakdowns that would leave him dehydrated and exhausted.

His nightmares were worse than they had ever been before.

He hadn’t slept since you’d been gone.

Fuck, the first thing he was gonna do once he had you back was curl up in bed with you and sleep for a year.

Bucky sighed as he sat outside the conference room where all of the planning had been taking place, letting his head fall into his hands. He wasn’t allowed inside. Too emotionally unstable to have a level head, which is what was needed most right now.

But everyone knew there was no way in Hell he wasn’t gonna be part of the team that went to save you. He’d kill every mother fucker that got in his way, that had helped take you in the first place.

Pulling out his phone, his heart constricted as he saw your sleepy face on his lockscreen. You’d been curled up on the couch, wearing one of his hoodies and a pair of pink fuzzy socks with little red hearts. Your little snores had been absolutely adorable, your knees pulled up to your chest.

When he’d woken you up, shaking you carefully with whispers of a milkshake he’d gotten for you, you’d blinked up at him, almost like you weren’t sure who he was.

And then that beautiful smile had spread over your face.

God, anytime he thought about your little, “For me?” his heart was ready to burst.

He’d snapped a photo, which had immediately resulted in you launching yourself at him with squeals for him to delete it.

Which, of course, he didn’t.

He’d give anything to go back to that day and insist that you guys didn’t go on the field trip.

Well, if Hydra had done anything, they’d successfully ruined one of his favorite places in the entire world.

“Hey,” Sam said as he came out of the conference room. “We think we’ve got a hit.”

Bucky leapt to his feet and rushed into the room after him. “Where is she?! What did you find?!”

“There’s a base in Canada that we thought was abandoned,” he explained as he showed him the map of the general area. “It’s small, but heavily armed.”

Everyone around them was already making plans, making a strategy of how they were going to get you out of there and bring you home.

But Bucky knew there was only one way to guarantee you came back.

“Sam, I have a favor to ask of you.” He was sure his heart was going to break his ribs from how hard it was beating as he led the man out of the room, away from listening ears. “I… When I went to Wakanda and I got the words taken out of my head… I asked Shuri to put in a different set.”

The way Sam’s heart dropped was… extremely visible. He could see it in his deep brown eyes. “What the hell do you mean, man? You… I thought the Winter Soldier was out of your head and all that.”

“He is. Mostly,” Bucky explained. Running his fingers through his hair—fuck, he needed a haircut—he took in a deep breath. “I got words put back in with the intention of only giving them to her… In case she needed the Soldat’s protection. We both know that while I’m tough, the Soldat is a machine. And he’d do anything to protect her.”

His best friend stared at him long and hard, his eyes narrowed. “You want me to unleash the Soldat in order to save her. Do you really think that’s the best way?”

“I do,” he said quietly. “Especially because the loyalty to Hydra is not longer in my brain. All that’s there is loyalty to my friends, my family. I won’t hurt any of you.”

Sam swallowed around the lump in his throat, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “And you really think this is the right way?” He asked quietly.

Bucky’s throat was dry as the Sahara as he nodded, both hands trembling. “I’ll give you the words. I don’t want to use them until we’re almost to the base, okay? I don’t want the Soldat to be around Morgan again, even if he wouldn’t hurt her.”

Sam grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight. “Hey. I’ve got your back. And if you believe that this is the best way to save her, then I trust you. I’ll always trust you.”

The Soldat sighed, exhaustion weighing down his bones as he walked down the halls of the Red Room. The mission he’d been on had been quick, but he hadn’t been able to sleep in two days because of it.

All he wanted was his bed.

But no, he had to head to the Red Room to train the little brat.

The little brat being you.

If he was being honest with himself, you weren’t a brat, not really. He was just tired and ready to collapse at any moment, but it wasn’t your fault. You were just a kid.

Well, fifteen. But that was still a kid.

His brows furrowed when he stepped into the training room that he always met you in and found you lying on your back on the mat, staring straight up at the ceiling. What was going on?

You shifted a little, your knee bending so your bare foot was flat on the floor.

He couldn’t help the wince when he saw how banged up your feet were.

The life of a ballerina.

To be fair, he’d seen a lot of fucked up feet since he had started to train girls in the Red Room, but he’d never get used to it. The blood and the half-ripped off toenails and just… Ugh.

Anytime he thought about it, it sent a shudder down his spine. He hated it. He hated feet.

Who would’ve thought that the fearsome Soldat would get freaked out by feet?

You didn’t acknowledge his presence as he got closer, even as his heavy boots sunk into the soft, squishy mat beside your head. But your eyes flickered open as he peered down at you and said your name. “Yes?”

“What are you doing?”

“Laying down.”

“I can see that.”

“Then why did you ask what I’m doing?”

The Soldat rolled his eyes at the impish grin that was spreading over your face. How had it come to be that you could give him shit when no one else could? If anyone else gave him the sass and attitude that you gave him, they’d be six feet under.

But not you.

What made you so special?

“Come on,” you said as you leaned up to tug on his metal hand. “Lay down. It’s nice.”

“But…” He glanced towards the open doors that led into the training room, before being brought back by the tug of your hand again. What could he do except give in when you were giving him those puppy eyes? “Okay,” he said as he slowly sunk to his knees before moving to lie down beside you, leaving ample space. The hunk of a man stared up at the ceiling for what felt like forever, before asking, “So what is this supposed to accomplish?”

“A moment of rest.”

Oh. Huh. He hadn’t… had one of those. In a long time. Anytime he was done with a mission and he wasn’t training, it was back into cryo.

“Okay.”

Your head turned to look at him, a gentle smile gracing your lips. “It’s nice, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” he said, smiling for the first time in what felt like a century. “It is.”

Bucky took a breath as he looked out the front windows of the quinjet. They were coming up on the base pretty soon, and he knew what that meant.

It was time.

Everyone had been briefed on what was about to go down, and even if they weren’t sure about it being the best course of action, they weren’t going to stop him. Not when it came to you.

“Sam?” He said softly, looking back at the man who was already waiting for him towards the back of the aircraft.

“I’m here,” he said reassuringly, holding the scrap of paper that Bucky had written them down on for him. “Are you ready?” He asked once he’d joined him.

“As I’ll ever be.”

There was a heavy pause between them, before Sam looked down at the paper and began to read. “Fifteen.”

It felt like the weight of the world was on Bucky’s shoulders.

“Sleeping Beauty.”

He couldn’t fuck this up. He had to get you back.

“Midnight.”

Oh, god, he could feel it coming.

“Sweetness.”

His brain was beginning to shift, beginning to take another form.

“Five.”

The Soldat was beginning to awaken inside of him.

“Warmth.”

This was the best way to save you, to ensure that they didn’t leave the base without you.

“Moonlight.”

He could feel the Soldat’s feelings mixing with his own, the rage and the worry, specifically for you.

“City.”

At the forefront was the demand to know where you were, to have you safe in his arms.

“Sundress.”

Bucky could feel himself falling asleep as the Soldat was taking over, like he was just about to take a nap.

“Plush.”

The Soldat scowled as he looked around. “Where is my malen’kaya?” He asked sharply, somehow knowing that English was the proper language to use at the moment.

“We’re going to get her. And we need your help,” Sam said, catching his attention. “Hydra took her. So we have to save her.”

Everything else in the world lost all meaning as soon as the Soldat heard him. “Where is Natalia? She was meant to protect her! That’s why I got her to get her out!”

Wanda swallowed thickly as she stepped forward. “Natasha died. A few months ago.” Her fingers were fiddling with nervous energy, red swirling around the tips. “She died protecting her.”

It was close enough to the truth.

His spine straightened, his jaw clenching. “Then I will be the one to protect her again.” The Asset looked around, looking each of them in the eyes. “Stay out of my way.”

None of them planned to get in the way in the first place, but they knew he wouldn’t have known that.

As soon as the quinjet landed and the ramp was down, he was off, storming into the base. He left a trail of bodies in his wake as he searched for the one person that had meant anything to him.

And that was when he saw her.

Madame B.

And oh, did he have a score to settle with her.

“Soldat! How kind of you to finally join us,” she said with a cold smile, and he tensed up as you were suddenly dragged out of a cell to his left and shoved to your knees. “We’ve been waiting for you. Though… We did think it would take a little less time for you to find us.”

You looked up at him with those beautiful eyes he loved so much, and he was hit with how much older you were from the last time he’d really gotten to see you.

You were so gorgeous. It was like you got better looking everyday.

“Malen’kaya,” he breathed out, blue eyes wide as his heart pounded inside his chest.

“Soldat! Soldat, get out of here!” You cried out, tears rolling down your soft cheeks. “She’s going to kill you! RUN!”

But he stood his ground, pushing his shoulders back and holding his head high. He didn’t know what had happened to him, but he couldn’t feel that unwavering loyalty to his former captors anymore, and that was just fine with him. “No. No more running,” he said sternly, keeping his eyes on Madame B. “No more being afraid.”

It hurt him to see the tears that were streaming down your face, to see the panic that his words sent you into.

But he couldn’t keep running away. If he did, then you would just be hurt again later on. They’d keep coming after the two of you, and he was done. He was done with the hiding and the running and the being afraid. He wanted to spend his life with you.

He wanted to be able to hold your hand out in public and know that you were safe. That no one was going to snatch you away from him until he’d completed yet another mission.

“Soldat… Soldat, no!” You begged, your body shaking as you stayed on your knees. A pitiful whimper escaped your lips as the Madame cocked a gun and held it to your temple, the metal cold against your skin. “Please… Please, run. D-Don’t watch this.” You couldn’t stand the thought of the Soldat—and by extension, Bucky—watching you die.

And that was certainly Madame B’s plan. Now that she’d drawn him in by holding you hostage, she’d kill you, and Hydra would have their greatest weapon back.

Their Asset.

“Wait!” The Soldat called out, causing the older woman to freeze in her tracks. “Take me instead.”

“What?! NO!” You screeched, thrashing against her hold. “SOLDAT! JAMES! NO!” You were beginning to panic, your breathing coming heavier and heavier.

Fuck, you looked so much smaller than when he’d last seen you, even if you did look older. They'd been keeping food from you.

“I will go with you willingly if you let her live,” he said calmly, keeping his eyes locked on hers.

“Oh, really?” She drawled, glaring at him coldly. “You give me your word?”

“I give you my word.”

He just needed to get you away from her for just a split second. He needed to get that gun to be… not pointed at your head.

He could work with that.

It happened in a split second. Madame B’s hand holding the gun shifted, the gun now pointed towards your legs.

The Soldat had been holding a knife just out of her view and threw it, letting out a sigh of relief as it met its intended mark.

Deep in Madame B’s throat.

Blood had splattered all over the back of your head as the older woman sunk to her knees, the light leaving her eyes.

The look of shock that was plastered across his face worried him. You looked frozen, paralyzed out of fear.

“Malen’kaya?” He whispered, moving to kneel in front of you.

You took in a shuddering breath, your eyes refocusing. “S-Soldat? You’re here?” You asked, fingers shaking as you reached up to touch his cheek. “I… How?”

“I don’t know,” he murmured quietly, cupping your face in both of his hands, both flesh and vibranium. “I don’t know, but I’m here. And I’m not leaving until you’re home safe.”

You didn’t want him to leave, but you wanted Bucky, too.

You were just so confused. The words had been taken out of his head, the programming.

The super soldier didn’t hesitate to scoop you up, cradling you close to his chest as he carried you out of the base.

He hadn’t left a single Hydra agent alive, and that’s how he liked it.

The only good Hydra agent was a dead Hydra agent.

Your eyes were locked on his face as he carried you to the quinjet, where most of your little found family was waiting.

They all rushed to you, finally letting the tears out as they welcomed you back into their arms. At least, until the Soldat growled out a warning and they gave you some space.

“I thought I’d never see you again,” you breathed out as he set you on his lap with a bottle of water, taking small sips. His strong arms had locked around you almost immediately, ensuring that you were stable in his lap.

And that no one could take you from him again.

“It’s okay,” Soldat said as his vibranium hand rubbed up and down your arm, soothing you. “Rest… You need to rest and eat and drink. Questions later. Hard stuff… later.”

The Soldat knew he wasn’t staying. He couldn’t.

He’d been brought out for this specific mission, to rescue the person he cared about more than anything, and he’d succeeded.

It had been an honor, knowing that these people trusted him to bring you home.

Maybe he wasn’t as bad as he’d been led to believe.

Or maybe… Maybe you made him good, somewhere along the line.

And maybe that was the best he could’ve ever hoped for.

When they made it back to the Compound, some part of him knew the way to the medbay, and he took you straight there.

“How did this happen?” You asked, your eyes sliding up to where Sam was lingering in the doorway.

“Bucky… made a plan,” he said as he took a few steps closer, though he kept a wide berth.

Even the doctor that was looking you over kept casting wary glances to the hulking man sitting next to the hospital bed, holding your hand.

“A plan? What kind of plan?”

Bucky had done something to make sure the Winter Soldier was able to come back? But that sounded like his worst nightmare…

Sam glanced at the Soldat, before moving to the end of your bed and holding onto the plastic footboard. “He had them take out the old trigger… activation words or whatever, and had them put in new ones that only he knew,” he said. “On the off chance that you would need the Soldat.”

“He… He did that for me?” You looked up at your Soldat, the man who had protected you, who had cared for you and ensured your survival. His existence hurt Bucky. He was a part of him that he had been desperate to get rid of.

And he’d left a part of him inside, and provided a way to bring him back just in case you needed him.

The Soldat gave you a weak smile as he caressed your cheek.

It was so strange. Even though he had Bucky’s looks, his new haircut and the stubble, the lack of blood or dirt or something covering his face, it was very clearly the Soldat.

“I cannot stay,” he said quietly, bringing your hand to his lips and kissing each of your knuckles. “I wish I could, malen’kaya… But we both know that our time has passed. If I have to come back, you and… Bucky know how to bring me out.”

“But… But…”

He shook his head, taking in a deep breath. “Everything is alright. You are safe. Hydra will never come after you again, especially if they know what’s good for them.” The hand holding yours was trembling, but he kept his eyes on your face. “And I… I am safe. They can’t hurt me anymore, thanks to you and this… Bucky.”

Your eyes burned as you pushed yourself into a sitting position, being careful with the IV that had been inserted into your arm. “I love you,” you said, pressing your forehead to his. “I love you so much.”

“And I love you,” he said breathlessly. “But… Malen’kaya, don’t let the past hold you back from the future. I… Those that hurt you in the past don’t matter anymore. You are stronger than what happened to you.” He held your hand a little tighter. “Do you understand me, malen’kaya? You are stronger than what has happened to you.”

“I understand.”

“Good,” he said, his lips pressing to your forehead. “You will live a long life. A long, long happy life. You have suffered for so long, but that’s over. The time of suffering has passed, and you get to be happy.”

Panic was overwhelming you. “But what about you? Don’t you get to be happy?”

“Yes, I do,” he said, a smile spreading over his lips. “Malen’kaya… I never knew peace until you. I found little moments of happiness when I was with you, in that training room…” The man’s forehead rested against yours, your noses nudging. “You gave me peace. And feelings. They couldn’t wipe you from my brain completely, no matter how hard they tried.” He let out a slow breath, his fingers massaging your scalp. “You rescued me. You are my savior. And now…” He was so warm, like a furnace, and you just wanted to curl up against him forever. “Now I can rest.” The Soldat tenderly pressed his lips to yours.

Possibly the first and only kiss you’d ever share with him.

It was… It was sweet and gentle and loving. Years of unspoken feelings, of the longing stares and lingering touches while in that horrible room, of the wild look in his eyes anytime someone dared to hurt you.

It was overwhelming and beautiful and fuck, you wanted more.

But he was right. The time you two had together was over. The Soldat’s time was over.

He could rest, and that’s all you had ever wanted for him.

As he broke the kiss, he slowly laid you back against the pillows of your hotel bed. “Sleep. I’ll be gone when you wake, but… Bucky will be here.”

Bucky.

Jamie.

Those that hurt you in the past don’t matter anymore.

And your Jamie… Your Jamie had never hurt you.

Maybe you could rest, too. You could have a life.

One with him in it.

[babylonhockey]

GENERAL/FLUFF PROMPT LIST

“you’re so needy.”

“you will be the end of me someday.”

“are you wearing my shirt?”

“I don’t fall in love with people very often, I just can’t believe it was you. Out of everyone, you just had to steal my heart. That’s very rude, you know, to steal?”

“are you flirting with me?”

“i wish we could stay like this forever.”

“you’re hot when you’re angry.”

“it’s cute when you get jealous.”

“i love you.”

“i’ll protect you.”

“you’re so pretty.”

“i’m not going anywhere.”

“you are so dumb, i love you though.”

“don’t look at me like that.”

“stay with me?”

“i think we’re soulmates.”

“stop looking at me like that.”

“i adore you.”

“someones clingy today.”

“seriously? I got a detention because of you.”

“i think i’m in love with you.”

“you’re mine. i don’t share.”

“don’t you trust me.”

“I know you might not think so, but you look really good right now.”

“i can’t live without you.”

“it’s not funny!”

“you have nothing to be insecure about.”

“i’m going to marry you someday.”

“how much did you drink?”

“aw, you’re so cute.”

“what did you do?”

“i asked if you were having a party. i didn’t tell you to have a party.”

“this is the opposite of what i told you to do.”

“well, it’s the thought that counts.”

“You need sleep.”

“wait, no, don’t take kissing away from me.”

“okay, where are all my jumpers?”

“oh, you’ve started stealing my socks now?”

“yeah, okay, but i’m cooler.”

“I’m pregnant”

“you owe me a kiss.”

“how did you get in here?”

“for starters, that’s impossible.”

“how did you fail a survey?”

“yeah, well, if you weren’t so drunk maybe i would.”

“that’s not even fair.”

“you promised me a cookie!”

“did i ever tell you how beautiful your eyes are?”

“ew, that is so sappy, i might vomit.”

“i’m not playing truth or dare.”

“you’re not very intimidating.”

“i love you.”

“well the probability of that is 0, but you go ahead.”

“that was, by far, the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.”

“You’re blushing”

It’s freezing. Come here.”

“I’ve got you.”

“I’ve always wanted to thank you, but was never sure how.”

“Look, a shooting star! Make a wish.”

“All I wanted was for you to be happy.”

“why don’t you take a picture? it’ll last longer.”

“How can you still look so attractive while crying.”

“Everything ends up being about you somehow.”

“OH you’re jealous!”

“Your eyes are so pretty.”

“maybe not.”

“I’d hurt anyone who ever left a scar on you.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever loved someone this much before.”

“I don’t care what anyone else thinks.”

“why the hell is there glitter everywhere?”

“well, i’m pretty irresistible.”

“Just breathe, okay?”

“how much money would you give me to flip this table, right here, right now, in the middle of class?”

“If we get caught I’m blaming you”

“We’re meant for each other.”

“Do you want to kiss as bad as I do right now”

“detention? again?”

“Im too sober for this”

“I think I’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me”

“Am I your lockscreen?”

“Truth or Dare?”

“The stars wish they were as bright as you.”

“Are you finally confessing to me? Because I feel the same way.”

“I missed you so much.”

“I heard you weren’t having that great of a day… These are your favourite candies, right?”

“I’m right where I belong.”

“I love you, please don’t go.”

“Apparently all our friends have a bet going that we end up together.“

[sapphicyanli]

SO I can't get Soohyun and Jinjoo as lawful girlfriends out of my head so here's some thoughts from me:

• They definitely meet through Gaon, that's just inevitable. Either from one of those times when Soohyun picks up Gaon from his office or when Jinjoo visits Gaon at his house to work on files of their case together. There are tons of possibilities and if I don't stop myself, this post would be just me writing down a literal fict of these two.

• And one day, Soohyun just asked gaon, "Can you give me Judge Jinjoo's number? You know, for, uhm, emergency purposes. I'm still uncomfortable communicating with Kang Yohan, even when it's something about work or you, so" and of course, Gaon just give it to her.

• Soohyun, after gathering the courage for a whole week, finally sends her first text to Jinjoo. she nearly screamed when Jinjoo immediately texted back excitedly, "Oh!? Soohyun? Yoon Soohyun?! I miss you, are you well? ... we should hang out more often you know, just the two of us!"

• And Then, they goes on to so many different places to hang out after that. Jinjoo is actually a foodie as much as Soohyun is, so most of the times their destination is a viral or new restaurants around the town. Jinjoo is usually the one who suggested the place and Soohyun just happily follows her because 1) Jinjoo's pick never disappoint and 2) she's happy wherever it is as long as she's with Jinjoo. They never run out of things to talk about and Jinjoo makes every topic interesting. but even when they're together in silence, the quietness feels comfortable.

• The more they spend time together, the more they know about each other, Soohyun then realizes that this all feels new yet good to her. it's different from the "love" feeling she thought she had for Gaon, but it doesn't scare her, because why would she? she realized her heart feels like it's jumping to a cloud nine whenever Jinjoo is close to her, how she feels that being with Jinjoo is something that she doesn't know she need and want until she hears Jinjoo's melodic laugh and she wants to hear that forever, want it to be the only thing she ever heard from now on, how much she wanna hold her hand as they stroll through the street, then gives her a goodbye kiss when they have to separate by the end of their "hang outs'' because it'll at least lessening the yearning she feels towards the long haired woman whenever she's not around.

• Their height difference(because Jinjoo likes to wear heels as well)is gonna be so cute and one day Soohyun just couldn't take her eyes off of her(She actually does that a lot and Jinjoo noticer it tok but it take some time for Jinjoo to confront her about it) and Jinjoo, the ever so confident and cheerful Jinjoo, nervously slipping some few strands behind her ear, feeling a bit anxious when the woman of her dreams looking up at her with such an intensity, "w-what is it? is there something on my face?" and Soohyun answered with a low voice, shy, but with a soft smile on her face, "nothing, you just look really beautiful. as always." and Jinjoo might passed out here and there.

• Gaon, eventually being the person that sees both Jinjoo and Soohyun frequently, can't help but noticed that his best friend #1 and best friend #2 often goes missing together for various occasions and times. So, when Jinjoo rejected to join gaon and yohan for dinner at a fancy restaurant after finishing a big case, because she promised to Soohyun that she will celebrate it with Soohyun instead by going to Jinjoo's favorite cafè and to cinema that day, Gaon just blurted out, "what, you guys are dating now?" and Jinjoo just run, leaving Gaon in a complete shock.

• Later that day when Gaon sees Soohyun in front of his house with Jinjoo being the one that drop her off, he teases her, "So this is what the emergency purposes are, Soohyun-ah" and the couple just blushing and stealing glances to each other. Oh and he definitely is going to use the, "Hey hey, don't do that to me. I'm the reason why you finally has a girlfriend, you don't wanna do harm on me or I'll tell Jinjoo'' card on her whenever she's pissed at him and trying to beat his ass.

• Jinjoo would definitely check up on Soohyun a lot, no matter how busy and tired she is at the court. Asking her in the middle of the day if she has eaten lunch yet, what she wants for dinner that day, does she a have a lot works to do today, willing to listen whenever Soohyun rant to her about her equally tiring job, and then telling her to relax, that she's doing a good job and that she can't wait to see her later.

• While Soohyun is more quiet with her love language, in my opinion. she likes to observe and thus, she often prepared coffee and snacks whenever Jinjoo need to stay up due to her job when she noticed exhaustion begin to taking over her, helping her by giving her judge girlfriend some perspectives and inputs as a police officer when some of the cases stressed her out more than usual(#big_brains_lawful_girlfriends), she would massage Jinjoo's tensing shoulders from sitting for hours, and then let Jinjoo using her as a pillow when she finally gives in to Soohyun's words to finally go to sleep.

• You could say Gaon is just as happy as Soohyun is with her and Jinjoo's relationship. At one point he said, "You've been spending a lot of time in your life looking after other people and taking care of them. you deserve someone that's willing to do the same for you wholeheartedly. Have yourself some rest now, Soohyun-ah. I know it's been tiring and hard for you" and if she happen to wipe a tear or two, that is simply nobody's business.

• Later on, to a gala that the powerpuff girls(Jinjoo, Yohan, Gaon)are being invited to, Yohan raised his eyebrows in surprise while Gaon's smiling proudly when Jinjoo arrived with Soohyun as her date, their arms linked sweetly together. She's wearing the blue, sequin dress and Soohyun's a simple white suit. They spend the night parading their love, not once letting go of each other for too long, and they even dance in the middle of the room, letting everyone see how in love they are with each other.

• Oh, that Kang Yohan picture on Jinjoo's desk? it has been replaced with her and Soohyun's picture together in a pastel pink frame from their date in an amusement park. Gaon often sees her taking off her glasses in exhaustion, and then she will reached out for the frame, staring at it for a good amount of time, and get back to work with more energy than before.

• Next thing you know, lawful girlfriends then adopting Elijah. It started with Jinjoo visiting the Kangs house and Elijah saw the photo Jinjoo used as her lockscreen and said, "Isn't that gaon's friend? The one with short hair? You know her too?" then Jinjoo smugly answered, "How could I not know my own girlfriend?" and Elijah just... smiled. She doesn't know why, but maybe it's because of the way Jinjoo looks at the photo on her phone with so much fondness in her eyes and in her lovely smile it's just contagious. Then Elijah just asked, "Let's go shopping together, the three of us. and eat after that too maybe." and how Soohyun and Jinjoo could ever deny Elijah's wish to spend her time together with them whenever she asked them to?

• Yohan: She stole my associate judge AND my niece too now? I feel like I barely see Elijah home these days. Kim gaon, tell your best friend that she nee—

[reidamancy]

why won’t you love me || spencer reid

summary: As Spencer’s cases continue to drive a wedge between you, you soon realize after a heartbreaking decision that the seeming demise of your relationship wasn’t caused by what you thought it was. (spencer reid x gn!reader)

Based on the song Why Won’t You Love Me by 5 Seconds of Summer. 

category: angst

warnings: none

word count: 3.3k

a/n: this is my entry for @veraiconcos​ vicficwriterchallenge!! this also happens sometime after s13 so although there aren’t any spoilers, there are references to something that happens in the later seasons :)

MASTERLIST

Spencer leaned his head on the window of the jet as it took off, watching the ground slowly disappear beneath him. He droned out the voices of his team as they discussed the new case, staring at the diminishing lights of the city instead. He couldn’t get himself to contribute; his mind was preoccupied with how he left your relationship that morning.

He should have seen it coming. As your small, petty fights began to add up, he should have known it would have escalated to this: a screaming match with tears and yells echoing through your shared apartment, leading to the two of you going to bed with no resolution, separated by the walls of your home.

And before the sun had risen, Spencer was called on a case and he was gone once again.

He knew his absence would only fuel the fire of your frustration, but what was he supposed to do? He didn’t have the luxury of ignoring calls from work, and although all he wanted was to stay and make things right between you, he had a case to solve.

He let out a sigh, holding back his tears. He tried once again to read the file in his hands, but his mind couldn’t stop thinking about you. He let his mind wander, thinking about how you’d feel when you’d wake up to an empty apartment. How could he ever make it up to you? 

Spencer shook away his thoughts once more and concentrated on the file in front of him. If he was going to do this, he had to pretend the two of you were alright. He just hoped you’d be good until he got back.

As Spencer switched his phone to airplane mode, he was met with your face on his lockscreen, smiling back at him. He subconsciously smiled back. Seeing the happiness on your face put him at ease, even if it was only temporary. He found comfort in the picture, hoping he could bring that smile back on your face when he got back.

---

When you awoke that morning, you were met with an empty apartment. You let out a scoff as you paced around your apartment, looking for a note, sign, anything he could have left behind. But all you found was an empty space where his go bag should have been. Of course. He was off on a case, with the worst possible timing.

You sighed as you sank into the couch, looking over at Spencer’s neatly folded blanket placed on the arm. You ran your fingers over the fabric as you pulled out your phone. Before your mind could even comprehend what you were doing, your fingers had already dialed his number. You weren’t sure what you wanted to say to him, and as you held your phone up to your ear, your heart began to race in anticipation of his answer.

You didn’t know if you were mad at him for leaving again or sad that he didn’t say goodbye. Sure, there was tension between the two of you, but he could have at least said something, right?

The loud ringing on the line continued for what seemed like forever. After an eternity, his chirpy voice answered the line.

“Hi!”

“Spencer,” you started, but you were interrupted.

“This is Dr. Spencer Reid. I’m sorry I can’t come to the phone at the moment, please leave a message after the beep!”

You scoffed and hung up before the beep sounded. Voicemail. Of course. You should have known better. As if you weren’t upset before, this missed call only reignited the flame that had died overnight. 

You went about the rest of your day with no word from Spencer. At first, you were willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and thought that perhaps he was still on the jet. But after hours had passed and even the longest of flights would have landed, you gave up on hearing from him.

The radio silence was bittersweet. It left you alone with your thoughts, allowing you to cool off and be more level-headed. The only problem was, it left you alone with your thoughts. And as you reflected on your feelings, for the first time, you began to question your relationship with Spencer.

As you were about to sleep that night, your ringtone sounded from your nightstand. When you rolled over to answer it, you weren’t surprised to see it was a long overdue call from Dr. Reid himself. Seeing his name brought your blood back to a boil and your frustration was evident as you curtly answered, “Spencer.”

On the other side of the line, Spencer winced at your tone. “Hey Y/N.”

Your body sank at the softness in his voice. Upon hearing it, you felt your body relax as the anger slowly dissipated. You sighed, hating the immediate effect Spencer had on you. With just two words, he had entirely changed your mood, leaving you with the yearning that had previously been masked.

“I wasn’t sure you’d still be up.” He said after a long pause.

“You caught me just in time.” You laid back on the bed. “I called you.”

He sucked in a breath. “I saw. I’m sorry Y/N, I must’ve forgotten to turn off airplane mode.”

You rolled your eyes in annoyance, but the small smile on your lips betrayed your true feelings. You then let out a sigh, not wanting to discard your previous frustrations. “You could’ve at least left a note or something.”

“I... I didn’t think you’d want to hear from me.” Spencer replied, voice weak.

His words made you sit up on the bed. “You can always talk to me, you know that, right?”

On the other side, all the tension left Spencer’s body, the reassurance bringing a smile back on his face.

When you heard his sigh of relief, you collapsed back down on your bed and smiled at the ceiling. “When are you coming home?”

“Soon. Two days, maybe? This should be an open and shut case. We have a textbook definition of a sexual sadist on our hands and-” He stopped after hearing your low giggle. “Sorry. You probably don’t want to hear about this before you sleep.” Spencer nervously laughed. He took a breath before saying, “Y/N, about last night-”

He was interrupted once again, but this time by a voice in the background, presumably Hotch’s, saying, “Reid, we need you.”

You sighed into the phone.

“Y/N-”

“No, go, they need you.” An exasperated sigh left your lips as a sad smile adorned your lips.

On the other side of the line, Spencer closed his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Y/N,” he sighed. “I love you.”

You let out a breath as he quickly hung up.

“I love you too.” You whispered into the dead line.

You placed your phone back on your nightstand as a new wave of loneliness encompassed you. Just as quick as his voice left, so had the serene feelings he gave you. And suddenly you were surrounded by the empty feeling that you had become too accustomed to. 

---

It took more than two days for Spencer to come home. Turns out the case wasn’t as textbook as he thought. And with the extra days, you were given time to process everything.

It wasn’t easy. Actually, it was the hardest decision you’ve made in your life. You had been thinking about it for a while, but actually going through with it was an entirely different story. But as you reflected on your relationship in Spencer’s absence, you knew it had to be done.

Tears streamed down your face with every article of clothing you tossed into the suitcase. Every single one of them brought back memories of your relationship with Spencer. From the shirt you wore on your first date, to the sweater you’d cry yourself to sleep in when you were alone. Spencer Reid gave you the highest of highs but when he left, it felt like the steepest crash.

As you were zipping up your case, the door opened and Spencer had walked in. You quickly wiped the tears off your face as you turned to face him.

Spencer’s go bag dropped with a thud when he saw your packed suitcase. “Y/N?” 

You bit your lip as his gaze went from your suitcase to you, then back again.

“What is all this?” He asked, desperately scanning your face. 

The tears returned and welled in your eyes as you croaked, “I, I can’t do this anymore Spencer.”

He was quick to rush over to you, instinctively raising his arms to hold you, but lowered them after second thought. “Y/N, please.” He begged as his eyes also welled with tears.

You shook your head, words escaping you as tears left your eyes. Your gaze shifted towards the ground as you leaned against your suitcase. 

“Y/N...” Spencer started. He gulped as his mind searched for the right words. “I’m sorry it took longer than expected, I thought...” He trailed off, blinking the tears out of his eyes as you continued to avoid his gaze. “Were you really gonna leave without saying anything?” He eyed the suitcase behind you once more. “If I,” he stuttered. “If I had come home later, would you have left? Just like that?”

You immediately shook your head. “No, of course not!” You looked up at him to show your sincerity. But you couldn’t deny that you’d thought about it. It would’ve been easier to leave before he came back and avoid this confrontation. And maybe a small part of you wanted to leave him the way he left you. But he didn’t deserve that.

“Why?” Spencer’s voice came out as a cry, and he used his hand to wipe the tears from his cheeks.

You took a deep breath. “I can’t do this anymore, Spencer. The fights, the one-letter texts, it’s draining, Spence. And you’re just, you’re never here.”

Tears fell steadily from Spencer’s eyes as he said, “Y/N, we’ve talked about this. I can stay, I can sit out a few cases, I can...” His voice trailed off.

You shook your head. “You said that last time. Then you were gone again when I woke up.”

The previous argument flashed in both your minds simultaneously. You recalled Spencer’s words, dripped in venom as they screamed, “What do you want me to do, Y/N?! Stay here while people are dying?! Sit out when the team needs me?!”

“I need you too, Spencer!” You had screamed back.

Both of you blinked the tears out of your eyes, the rest of that night coming back to you. When the screaming and yelling had subsided, Spencer desperately tried to assure you he’d be home more often, but you knew they were nothing but empty promises. And the next morning proved you right.

And now as you stared at the man in front of you, you realized the same song was playing, just in a different tune. There will always be another case. And Spencer will always be on that plane instead of next to you.

“It’s just so hard to be lonely.” You sighed.

Spencer turned from you and stepped back. He shook his head and ran his fingers through this hair. “No, Y/N, it’s hard,” he stopped himself, clearing his throat. “It’s hard to leave you here alone, knowing you could be a target at any given moment.” He sighed, stepping towards you once again. “I make so many dangerous enemies because of my job and when I’m out solving cases... I’m not here to protect you.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “It’s hard for me too, Y/N. But we both make sacrifices to make this work.”

“Every time you walk out that door, I’m scared you won’t come back.” You admitted, crossing your arms.

Spencer stepped closer to you as he whispered, “And every time I leave, I’m scared you won’t be here when I get back.”

His words made your lip quiver. You lowered your eyes in shame, realizing that you’re making his fears a reality.

“If I asked you to stay... would you?” Spencer asked.

You sighed. “It doesn’t work like that, Spence. You can’t just undo the last few weeks by asking.”

His eyes darted towards your suitcase once again then he sighed. “No, Y/N, if I, if I could change things, and make it right, would you stay?” He let out a shaky breath before whispering, “Or have I lost you forever?”

His words caused a whimper to escape your lips. “Spencer,” you cried. “When you’re gone, I miss you so much, and I worry about you all day. But when you’re here, we fight and avoid each other, and it’s like you’re gone again. It’s not healthy, Spence. I need a break.”

Spencer sniffled and quietly asked, “How long have you been thinking about this?”

You chewed your lip, thinking of ways to delicately answer his question. “Did you know Sydney got engaged last month?” You asked after a pause.

Spencer sighed. It didn’t take a profiler to know the timeline of your fights coincided with your best friend’s engagement. But he kept quiet as he looked to you to finish.

You looked down and fiddled with your thumbs as you continued, “I was happy for her, of course. But it got me thinking... and looking into my own life, and I don’t know.” You sniffled. “I always thought I’d be married by this age and well,” You looked up to see his face, but his eyes remained on the floor between your feet. “It felt like we were at a stalemate.”

Spencer brought his eyes up to look at you now, and you scanned his face but were unable to tell what he was thinking. You sighed and said, “I didn’t see us going anywhere and I can’t wait, Spence. I need to make a change.”

He visibly swallowed and nervously asked, “Do you want to?”

“Want to?”

“Did you want to go somewhere? With me?”

You let out a small laugh at his awkwardness before promptly responding, “Of course I do, Spencer. But as soon as I realized that, you started to drift away. We talked less, cuddled less, and suddenly we kept fighting... And it just wasn’t the same anymore.”

Spencer lowered his head. “So I’ve lost you?” He softly asked, so quiet you almost missed it.

You shook your head and cupped his face. “No, no Spencer. I’ll always be yours.” You let out a sigh before admitting, “Every night when I close my eyes, I imagine I’m with you on the other side.”

Spencer brought a hand up to wrap around your wrist and used his thumb to rub the back of your hand. He gazed into your eyes and said, “So why won’t you love me?”

The tears in your eyes flowed down your cheeks at his words. “I do love you.” You brought your teary eyes up to look at him. “That’s the problem, Spencer. I love you so much, it hurts. It physically hurts, Spence.”

“But you’re still leaving.” He concluded.

You bit your lip. I don’t want to, you almost said. But before you could think of the right words to say, Spencer softly asked, “Can I show you something?”

You furrowed your brows in confusion, but nodded. He gently grabbed your wrist and led you to his side of the bedroom. You took a seat on the bed as he rummaged through his nightstand. He nervously fumbled through the clutter before he finally found what he was looking for, hiding it behind his back as he took a seat next to you on the bed. 

Spencer took a deep breath before explaining, “I got this a little over a month ago. It was supposed to be a surprise, but I never found the right time. Then the fights started happening... and now it seems there never will be a right time.” He took his hand out from behind his back to reveal a small velvet box.

You gasped and felt your heart still in your chest. “Spencer,” you whispered. He opened the box to reveal a diamond ring, and tears streamed down your face just at the sight of it. Your hands went to cover your mouth as you silently cried.

“I don’t want you to think I’m showing you this just because I want you to stay. But I feel like I owe you an explanation for the past few weeks.” Spencer gulped before saying, “I want to marry you, Y/N.” He paused for a second, looking in your eyes to see your reaction before continuing, “But I guess I got nervous around you and I might’ve subconsciously drawn away from you.”

You slowly nodded and whispered, “Just like I did to you after Sydney.”

You smiled at each other through your tears.

Spencer sighed as he held the ring closer to you. “I still want that future with you, Y/N. Even after all of this, I still love you and I can’t see myself with anyone else.” He chewed nervously on his lip. “But if you can look me in the eye and tell me you don’t want the same, you can walk out that door tonight, and we can both forget this ever happened.”

Your hands left your face and wrapped around his free one, squeezing it in reassurance. “Spencer Reid, I love you with my whole heart.” You looked into his eyes and said, “And I want that future with you, too.” He smiled back at you. “But I can’t go back to missing you every night.” 

Spencer was quick to respond with, “I can stay. I can request more teaching hours, or consult the team from home.”

You gave him an empty look, hearing those words countless times before.

“I mean it, Y/N.” He looked down at the ring in his hands. “I can do my job without being in the field.”

“Would you be happy with that, though?” You questioned. “Spencer, I know you love your job, I know how badly you want to be out there. This,” you lightly tapped on the ring. “This means nothing if you’re not happy.”

Spencer brought his eyes back up to you and said, “I actually really like teaching.” He smiled. “And as long as I have you, I will be happy.”

Heat rose to your cheeks as you blushed at his words. The sincerity in his eyes caused you to fall into his shoulder and sigh into the crook of his neck. Spencer timidly whispered, “Please stay. I can’t see my life without you in it.”

You sat back up to look him in the eyes and nodded. “Okay.” You whispered.

He beamed at you.

You smiled at him before playfully rolling your eyes. “Why do we hold on to each other like this?”

Your faces inched closer as Spencer whispered, “I wish I could tell you, my love.”

Your lips met in a passionate kiss. The remnants of tears fell down both your faces as your lips molded into each others. Your arms went behind his neck, pulling him closer to you. One of his arms hugged your waist and rested on your lower back, the other still holding the ring in his lap. You hummed against his lips, missing the way they felt against yours after weeks of negligence. After a while, you brought a hand down to gently close the ring box, causing Spencer to pull away. 

“I thought...”

You softly giggled. “Now you have to surprise me with a real proposal.”

Spencer laughed as he went in to peck your cheek. He rested his forehead against yours and whispered, “I love you.”

“I love you more,” you whispered against his lips.