#steff speaking

[sergeantbuckybarnes]

it’s me. i’m bitches.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Your husband's a comedian? What's the weirdest/his favourite heckle he's ever gotten?

Good question! He says he's never received any particularly noteworthy ones himself, but his favourite he's ever seen in a gig he was performing at was at a Translation Gig a few months back - it's a gig Steff runs where Welsh language comedians perform their sets in Welsh, and Steff does the simultaneous translation into the audience's headsets (he's a trained translator). Except obviously the comedians performing are, you know, comedians, so they intentionally try to make it hard for him, and sometimes insult him so he has to translate his own abuse. And then after a while he gets the comedians to translate each other instead, and it gets super anarchic. It's great, because if you don't speak Welsh, you're still able to understand because the main show IS the translation, which is high on improv and off-the-cuff stuff. But if you do speak Welsh, you get two shows at once.

So, a few months back, he's running one of these. An early act on is the wonderful Esyllt Sears, fantastic comedian, and early in her set she announces that Steff has told her in the past to talk to the audience more; she then spends a chunk of her set asking random audience members if their grandfathers are still alive. It's very funny.

And then in the second half, the headliner is our lovely and bewildering friend Phil. He, at one point, apparently forgets that he's supposed to be performing a set, and so asks the audience if they have any questions.

At which point Steff's cousin Mared, in the audience, says "Is your grandfather still alive?"

It's a funny callback, right?? We all laugh! The audience is highly amused!

But Phil arrived late and didn't see Esyllt's set, so he's just like "You WHAT?!?" and has a fourteen second panic that Mared has put out a hit on Tad-Cu and he needs to call home

It's also very easy to confuse Phil, so perfect comedian for it to happen to, really

[jimmyspades]

Favorite JS character I’m sorry I could only pick a few for the poll please yell at me if I forgot your guy

[nox140497]

What the Hell?

SUMMARY: You are the current Batgirl after Steff . The Titans have not met you yet, but you know who they are. In this one, Raven has had a crush on Damian for a while.

Masterlist

Prompt List

Part 1 part 2 part 3

~~~~~~~~Y/N p.o.v.~~~~~~~~~

I was sitting at the Batcomputer waiting for Bruce and the boys to come home and listening to Tim and Damian arguing through the comm in my ear, occasionally one of the others wiuld chip in and make a coment.

I had been benched from going out because I had been sick last week and Damian being the overprotective boyfriend he is did not want me out in the field until he deemed me 100% better, and of caurse Bruce agreed because where do you think Damian got it from.

So here I was whatching the camaras and making sure all my boys were safe, because despite Damian being my boyfriend his brothers were like my own big brothers especially Jason.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~Raven's p.o.v.~~~~~~

We were on our way to the Batcave to get Robin(Damian) because we had a lead on a vilian in Jump City, and we needed his help.

As we got in the cave, there was a girl that we had never seen before sitting in front of the computer.

I was confused by the girl's presance here. I mean Damian has told us about all of his family members. So who the hell was this chick.

~~~~~~~~Y/N p.o.v.~~~~~~~~~

I turned descreatly at hearing others in the cave and saw who I knew to be the Teen Titans, though I had never met them. What? I'm not a Batkid for nothing, I informed the boys that we had company and to get their butts over here.

I whatched them attempt to sneak up on me and I rolled my eyes, pppfftt you can't sneak up on a batkid, nevermind the current Batgirl, I let them think their plan was working, I was  curious as to what they would do.

Suddenly, I feel myself being pulled out of the chair by Ravens magic. I knew what demon magic felt like. After all , I met Ras Al Ghul, and she might only be half demon, but she was still a demon.

I was floated in the air as everybody looked up at me.

"Who are you?" Raven growled at me.

I was about to say something when everyone was distracted by the motercycles coming in. So it's only the birds.

"I would put her down if I were you." I heard Dick say with a slightly colder tone than usual. It was weird to hear the normally happy bird speak in such a cold tone.

Raven looked at me and then to all four of the birds, then back at me, finally letting me down.

I looked at them and then turned to the boys and noticed that Jason was bleeding and I nearly facepalmed as I sighed walking over to him and grabbing his arm. "I leave the computer for not even 5 minutes and you somehow manage to get yourself hurt." I grumble in exasperation. The bugger just smiled at me sheepishly as I patched him up as the others spoke to the Titans.

~~~~~Raven's p.o.v.~~~~~~~~

So this girl, Y/N they said her name was, is Damians girlfriend. I must admit I am slightly jealous I mean I've had a crush on him ever since he joined the team and now he is dating some other girl. All that aside I don't trust her.

~~~~~~~~~Y/N's p.o.v.~~~~~~~

After the Titans left, with Damian saying he would join them sometime tomorrow, we all headed up to bed.

I got into Damians bed beside him, as I do every time I know that Damian is leaving the manor for a while, I snuggle into his chest and soak in all his warmth.

"I love you, Beloved." He said, burying his nose in my hair. I smiled softly."  I love you too, Dami."

[profeyandere]

𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐅𝐅 𝐌. ─── ☾ 𝐌𝐔𝐓𝐄

ʟɪɴᴋꜱ ↪ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ ↪ ᴊᴀᴍᴇꜱ ꜱᴘᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ ↪ ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ

ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏꜱ ↪ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2.6ᴋ ↪ ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ꜱᴛᴇꜰꜰ ᴍᴄᴋᴇᴇ x ꜰᴇᴍ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ↪ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴀ ᴅɪꜱᴀʙɪʟɪᴛʏ, ᴍᴜᴛɪꜱᴍ

English is not my native language, so I apologize for any mistake and if you can help me improve it, I will greatly appreciate it. I hope you enjoy it :D

"I still do not understand."

That murmur coming from Steff caught the attention of Blane, his proclaimed best friend. When the second named stopped speaking due to the interruption of the first, while telling him about what he had done during the previous afternoon, he couldn't help but frown at the lack of respect, quickly calming down when he saw that Steff's eyes seemed fixed at a specific point, as if he was completely lost in his own world, then following the blonde's blue and lost gaze among the entire crowd in the courtyard, most of whom were around them to have a little of Steff's attention, causing him not to be able to recognize the person the blonde was looking at and who had caught his attention until his gaze met that charming young woman in baggy pants, that girl in his class who never raised her voice and never responded to no one's questions or to the sarcastic comments of some of her friends, who laughed at that moment and nodded at whatever her friend was telling her; From their place in the shade, near the stairs that led into the building, it was impossible for them to hear what you and your friend were talking or commenting on, but curiosity did not stop sparkling in the way a certain boy looked at you. In some way that Steff and Blane didn't understand, you had managed to catch the attention of the school's king out of all the girls he had ever met or were around him. It wasn't because you were an ugly or unpleasant girl that the surprise came up, but because you had never really been noticed, not even Blane, much less Steff, but you always seemed to be there, whether it was in history class, in the cafeteria eating your sandwich or in the library using one of the computers to finish some specific work; Much to their dismay, the reality was that they never noticed you, mainly because you had never spoken, at least while they were present. You were just another person, worldly and surrounded by a small bubble that kept you completely immersed in your world from which the only person who was next to you used to take you out. You also had a fairly normative beauty that didn't attract too much attention and, even so, you managed to steal the breath of the most popular boy in school by doing nothing; It was the honest truth, you had done nothing to get his attention and it was impressive.

"If it's any consolation, I don't understand it either," Blane said in response, looking back at his friend, noticing how he was frowning softly while moving his jaw slightly, a reflex action he did when he was thinking about something. "You could talk to her, you know? Girls don't bite you."

A small sly smile appeared on his face at the brunette's last statement. In reality, the girls literally bit him, but he knew that Blane was speaking figuratively at that moment.

"They don't usually leave a mark, so I'm not worried," Steff pointed out, causing Blane to frown at her suggestion. Do not look at me like that. "Besides, she should be the one approaching me, not the other way around. I'm Steff McKee, for God's sake. I'm not just any guy, I'm the most popular boy in the entire school, and I shouldn't be the one who approaches; I do not beg anyone."

Blane sighed again as he listened to him and saw how he pushed his chest forward as if he wanted to show his superiority and masculinity, but actually looked like a complete idiot by expecting others to be the ones who had to approach him to get attention. His friend was too proud to give in, even more so when it was a girl. Although, in reality, he had never seen him approach one directly or without any intention, that is true, they were always the ones who approached him and not the other way around and, when he approached them, they usually returned to him to have a little of "the McKee essence", as the blonde liked to call it. That situation was relatively strange but, as soon as Blane had thought about it for a few seconds, he quickly looked at him in surprise when he realized that he had already taken the step before.

"You've already talked to her before, that's why you're waiting for her to come to you," the brunette finally indicated, remaining speechless when he realized the reality that was enveloping them at that moment, being able to see how Steff finally looked away from you so you could focus on him as a way of telling him to shut up. "Go, talk to her, what are you going to lose?"

"I'm going to lose her pride if I get closer to her," the blonde responded instantly, shaking his head while a mocking and sly smile appeared on his face. "I refuse to make this any more embarrassing than it already is. I talked to her last week and do you know what she did? Ignore me. She looked at me, didn't say a single word, and then walked away as if nothing had happened. She did some strange things with her hands and vanished."

Blane frowned as he heard about his friend's experience with you. Actually, it was a little strange to approach someone and have them just gesture at you and then walk away without saying anything, but the more he thought about your attitude, the more strange and curious it seemed to him. They had never met someone like you, he had to give you some credit for that. You never talked to anyone, but you did make people laugh about something you did or said. You were more observant, you seemed to listen to people before doing anything else and, above all, you held their gaze for much longer, although you showed your mood in the way you -. Oh. Right. How had they not been able to see it before? Blane managed to capture it during a couple of minutes of reflection. Of course, you didn't talk, possibly you would never do it no matter how much people forced you to do so and you probably wouldn't accept or want to approach Steff because of some strange face he had made when you 'talked' to him.

"Steff, my goodness, what did she do when you approached her to talk to her?" The brunette asked, getting up from the step, shaking the dust off his light pants and adjusting the hem of his bottom while he felt like the most intelligent boy in the universe.

The aforementioned shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know," Steff responded with slight exhaustion, running a hand through his blonde hair in an exasperated manner. "I approached her, greeted her, told her how she was doing and then she started moving her hands and arms, she even gave me strange faces as if she were making fun of me. What do you want me to do? I was shocked, I thought something was happening to her, like a heart attack, and, when she stopped, she didn't do anything else, she just looked into my eyes as if she wanted to destroy me or something with a laser beam."

Steff's exaggeration did not take the brunette by surprise.

"Her friend wasn't with her, right?" Blane questioned again, receiving a quick denial from his friend, causing him to sigh. "Of course, you weren't going to understand it. Not you, not me, not anyone who doesn't know what he has or understand what he does. She gets up, let's go greet her, you'll see how now you understand her."

Steff, who was about to refuse to get up to continue the plan his friend had planned in just a few seconds, felt Blane's hand on his arm to lift him up, forcing him to do so with a strong tug before pushing him, and causing small stumbles, towards where you were with your friend on the other side of the basketball court under the shade provided by one of the pine trees in the patio. Luckily, Blane didn't have to try very hard to bring him with you because people were moving out of his way when they saw the king of the school emerge from the shadows to mingle with the crowd and because Steff's feet were moving quickly to meet you as if he truly had the illusion of being able to take him to the girl who had caught his attention so much.

You, on the other hand, were not aware of the approach of your two classmates, because you continued looking at your friend while she explained to you in detail everything that had happened, what she had experienced in her last chemistry class, mentioning how one the floor had fallen from the flasks because of some students who, laughing, had begun to push each other and one of them had caused the other's flask to fall; Due to clumsiness and poor use of chemical utensils in the laboratory, both were forced to pay an amount of money that they could not complain about. It was embarrassing enough to start arguing with the professor after the scandal they caused, so they didn't feed him and simply agreed to pay.

"Just by chance, have you pissed off Steff McKee?" Your friend asked, interrupting her own story, to which you could only frown before gently shaking your head, confused by her question. "Don't be alarmed, don't turn around abruptly, but he's coming this way and he doesn't seem to have a good face."

As the obedient woman that you were, for the sake of your friend's reputation, you slowly turned your head to see how, indeed, Steff McKee and Blane McDonagh were approaching you, the latter being the one who showed you a soft smile that he usually gave to everyone who approached him, while the first one kept his face serious, with the same grimace with which he looked at you the first and only time he spoke to you; It's not that it made you feel bad that he looked at you that way, far from it, you were already used to scaring people away or receiving looks like his.

"Good morning, girls." Blane greeted when they finally stopped, in front of you and your friend, standing next to each other, where the sun was shining on them. You gently tilted your head and then moved your hands with agility to return the greeting in the same way that your friend later did. "Is that how you say it? Good morning is it with those gestures?"

His question caught you by surprise and you couldn't help but nod your head softly.

"What?" Steff said, looking between Blane and you. "That's what she did to me the other time, those gestures. Why don't you speak? Don't make gestures, I didn't understand you and I don't understand you now."

The brown-haired boy looked at his friend and then sighed.

"Excuse him, he still doesn't know about your condition, your… Disability? Is it okay if I name it that way?" The boy questioned, causing you to nod again. Subsequently, the boy's blue gaze was placed on his friend again. "She's mute, Steff. She can't speak and, if she does, at least her sounds are not understandable."

Your gaze quickly met your friend's as a smile appeared on your face, you both already knew what you were referring to with that look. People, in general, used to look for the right words to explain your disability so as not to hurt your feelings or make you feel bad or displaced, but it only made you funnier when they tried to talk to you, even more, so a person like Steff or Blane.

"You understand my language?"

Steff's sudden question caused his friend's face to turn white and red with embarrassment, while you and your friend began to laugh loudly, even if yours wasn't a conventional laugh. Your friend's laugh was worth both of us, while you kept your hand over her mouth while you made similar, guttural noises that resembled a laugh. Steff, on the other hand, was confused and didn't understand anything.

"Of course, she understands our language, Steff," your friend murmured as she tried to catch her breath. "She is mute, not a foreigner," she continued, looking at you later when she saw that you started moving your hands again. "And she says that she finds you very funny, although she already had that impression the first time she saw you."

The blonde's face reddened gently and, as if it were a small child, he looked away before adjusting his hair, sighing later to look at you again with a slightly lopsided smile.

"Tell your friend that I didn't know about her… Lack of speech on her part," she commented with slight seriousness, although you didn't take him seriously when you saw him place his hands on his waist. "I thought that she was making fun of me or that she wanted to kill me with her eyes."

"She is mute, not deaf, she listens to you well." Your friend intervened again, now acting as an interpreter when she saw you move your hands towards Steff again, wanting to communicate with him, in some way. "That day she greeted you, introduced herself and asked you how you were, but since you didn't answer and you looked at her in that strange way, she decided to leave so as not to make you uncomfortable."

"Oh…" The blonde murmured, shrugging his shoulders as if he truly hadn't understood her, as was the real case with her. For a moment he was speechless as he realized a little of the reality of him, even if he didn't understand the disability you had. "It's just that I wanted to talk to you, nothing more."

Your friend, upon hearing his words, couldn't help but smile and she gave you a gentle pat on the back as encouragement while Blane, on the other hand, did the same with Steff. They were going to leave you alone and, no matter how much the blonde begged his friend with his eyes for him to stay or for your friend to be your interpreter, nothing helped. Steff wouldn't understand you no matter how much you moved your hands or your arms or made funny faces, or at least that's what I thought. You were aware of how hard it was for people to understand you, some didn't make much effort to learn sign language, but you wanted to give Steff a chance, so you took out a little notebook from your backpack and started writing in it.

"Don't worry, Steff, you're covered." You wrote in your notebook, smiling softly at him. You could see him move closer to you to read what you had written and, for a moment, you could see an attempt at a smile.

"Thank you, otherwise I wouldn't know how to talk to you or what to tell you," he said, ignoring how your friends had moved away to give you some privacy. Steff continued to watch you write something in your notebook, and when you pointed to the word and then to yourself, he realized it was your name. "I like it, it goes very well with you."

Even though you were a mute person, and there were several barriers between you, at that moment you felt that for the first time, there was someone who had broken them down. It didn't matter at that moment why he had wanted to approach you, all you knew was that it felt good to have someone else by your side to talk to.

[steellark]

things about me yayyy ! ⋆ ★

★ stellark, steff or luka!! (short pronounced as sté 🤓)

★ she/her, unlabeled!!

★ i love cats, thresher shark, MPB, pedro pascal, wagner moura, my beautiful wife arthur morgan, passionfruit juice, and taz mania

★ languages I speak: 🇧🇷🇪🇸🇺🇸 (mostly uses english here :^

🎮: red dead redemption, taz wanted, undertale, stardew valley, tlou, the sims 4, ihnmaims, days gone andd so much more❗️❗️

🎬: wwdits, loki, kingsman, ofmd, hannibal, the man from the future, star wars, adt, gravity falls, the hunger games, and the rest ill add later :p

(don't be afraid to interact with me, i can be shy but i promise i dont bite 😿) anyways sorry for any previous language mistake!

you can find me on twitter @stebbath :)

[dysphorie]

Ok, I'll bite. What's the story of your first menstrual period?

Ok so

I was brought up catholic. Went to catholic primary and secondary school (no it wasn't like in the movies, our uniforms sucked). So being catholic we had to go on religious retreats every now and then that were all VERY holy-holy fire and brimstone and women should be barefoot and pregnant at all times

You can see where I'm going with this

So we're on this retreat, which is for once an own-clothes day, so no uniforms, and i was really feeling myself for some reason, in my animaniacs t-shirt and some leggings

So during some group thing we're all sitting cross legged on the floor, when the girl opposite me is like uhhhh steff there's blood on your leggings 👀

Oh, did i not mention the leggings were

w h i t e ?

I was sheltered as fuck ok i had a vague understanding of what periods were but i didn't realise that's what she meant when she said blood so im looking at my legs like wtf how did i get blood on me?? And the girls are like no omg its your period. And the teachers notice us talking and the girls gesturing at me and rather than come over and ask what's wrong, they call over and ask me to WALK UP TO THE FRONT OF THE ROOM TO SPEAK TO THEM

And it's fucking obvious what's happened. Everyone can see

So i tell my guidance counsellor (who should never have had that position) and the grabs me by the arm and runs me out the room AND GIVES ME INTO TROUBLE. FOR SOMEHOW NOT BEING ABLE TO CONTROL A HUMAN BODILY PROCESS, BECAUSE PERIODS ARE "DIRTY", so she sent me home because in her words i couldn't sit on the bus back to school

By sending me home, i mean she took me to the bus stop outside and left me there while they called my house to tell my folks to come get me. This was 1994. No mobiles. My family didn't have a car and both my parents worked. Thankfully my big sisters were home and one came and got me and they helped me clean up, gave me some supplies, and cursed my guidance counsellor upside down. My mum complained to the school but ofc they just brushed it under the rug

So aye. White leggings on a religious retreat. Great fun, A+++ first period

[terastalungrad]

BB20: Wednesday 11 October

"You don't have to be clever to be in a boarding school, it's all down to your parents, what they can afford."

Big fan of Farida explaining this to Zak in front of boarding school-educated Henry.

Shopping task is to pretend to be a company. Yinrun, Trish and Henry become bigwigs, so they're in charge. And they wear big wigs. Those are two Steff faves, and the Tory himbo.

Four days in, Hallie continues speak directly into the cameras to address Big Brother. Iconique. We have no choice but to stan. Etc.

Bigwigs get to decide who will be middle management, and who will be the Bottoms (language that reassures me that ITV haven't forgotten Big Brother's core demographic of filthy queers).

Instinctively, I feel like the right choice is to make middle managers out of the housemates most likely to sulk. Olivia, Chanelle, maybe Kerry. I bet that's not what they've done.

Okay, wow, the only one of those three they've picked is Kerry. This will cause discord, you mark my words.

Dylan, Zak and Paul will be solid Bottoms I reckon. Yep. I said what I said.

Aw, I'm so right about Zak. He's been amazing so far, actually. Very good for morale, very good at ending conflict before it begins.

Oh no, the power of middle management has gone right to Kerry's head. Calling a meeting when there's nothing to discuss - except for her disapproval of Zak's approach of being nice to the Bottoms so everyone's on side. Kerry favours an approach where the middle managers make every decision and force the Bottoms to do what they say.

Meals are provided - more luxurious food for those higher up the food chain. Kerry complains about her perfectly lovely middle manager meal.

Kerry's going to cause a lot of conflict this series I reckon. On the first night, she was asked to pick the worst-dressed housemate. She picked Jenkin, who lost his suitcase, and I thought she'd failed to understand the premise of the game - that the housemate she picked would face a punishment.

Now, I've changed my mind. I think she knew full well - and it simply didn't matter. She's a no-nonsense person, by the book. You ask her to pick the worst-dressed housemate, that is exactly what she'll do. She won't pick a second choice instead, even if her first choice has already been given multiple punishments.

Kerry's told to be a middle manager, and that's what she does. Doesn't matter that this isn't really a company - that this is just a task within a TV show. The moment she's given that role, she expects absolute obedience. Not only from those underneath her, but from her fellow middle managers too.

Henry has a Big Brother mug with the new logo on it. Let me be very clear that I want one of these mugs.

I wonder who wins this sort of Big Brother? I'd love it to be Hallie. I reckon Jordan stands a very good chance.

People on the internet hate Olivia, so I'm automatically on her side. Not fun seeing her clash with Zak, though. The Bottoms are all doing a tedious job - sorting hundreds of paper clips by colour - and Zak comes to keep up their spirits.

Olivia's annoyed by his presence - but that's unreasonable, so she needs to think of a good reason to resent him. "I know you love being in charge," she says. But - he isn't here on a power trip. He either wants people to be happy, or he wants to be liked. Either way, he's absolutely not motivated by wanting to rub people's nose in his status.

Tell you a video game I like - KeyWe, which Tumblr recommended to Elanor. Co-op game where you play as two kiwis who get a job in a post office. You obviously cannot single-handedly do the job of an actual human, but with two of you, you can get basic tasks done. Anyway, the task where Paul and Zak sort through post IS this game, down to the final detail. It even has troublesome animals, in the form of pigeons who shit on you.

Interesting - Yinrun feels like nobody except Trish and Henry speak to her very much.

Now listen. I love Farida and Kerry. But I would not stay in a job where if they were my managers.

"I honestly thought we were going to be bored," says Farida of the show so far. She really hadn't banked on the ITV version being so full of action.

Aw, Hallie checking in on Kerry is adorable.

A really sweet generational thing. Hallie wants to offer physical comfort, but only on Kerry's terms. So even as Kerry starts to tear up, Hallie doesn't hug her - but holds out her arms, which Kerry can choose to take or not.

And Kerry doesn't take Hallie's arms, because she's a different generation. Instead, she says, "Have you smelled this?" and offers Hallie a nice-smelling product. And then Hallie DOES hug her.

Ahh, Hallie has absolutely clocked Farida's need for control.

Fair play to Kerry - she has the idea to let the Bottoms decide on the shopping if they win the task. That's really nice.

Oh no, but Farida is dead against the idea!! Actually, maybe I've been too quick to judge Kerry's management. She's really good here.

Zak comforting Hallie. Steff faves unite! ... oh, is Zak a Steff fave now? I suppose he is!

The bigwigs talk about demoting Farida, since she wants to do the Bottoms' pointless busywork. But that's not going to work, is it? Farida's not going to become easier to manage when she feels she has less control.

Who gets voted out in a show like this?? On Channel 4, we'd lose the most-hated housemate. Sources of drama would be in trouble - probably Farida, since Olivia's immune.

On Channel 5, we'd lose the least-loved housemate. Someone who's failed to stand out. Noky could be in trouble, just because she's not been especially prominent.

Farida thinks Kerry is conniving! She isn't, Farida. You're annoyed about Kerry wanting to let the Bottoms choose the shopping. That is ... the opposite of conniving? Right? That's Kerry wilingingly conceding power and control to reward the hardest workers. The most cynical possible reading is that Kerry wants to be liked.

[sl-walker]

My Mirror Scott, circa 2260.  So, about age 38 and long enough after Pike’s downfall to have recovered some, physically speaking.  Detail (and chatter) under the cut.

So, if you said, “Holy smokes, Steff, he looks like a stone cold murderer--” you would be 100% correct.  If you said, “Wow, he looks like he’s been shattered at least a few times in his life--” you would also be correct.

If you said, “But Steff, why did you change the uniform design?” I would answer, “Because my costume budget is larger than TOS’s was.”  And if you said, “So, that hair--” I would have to say, “Because I fucking wanted to.”

If you asked, “But is there hope for him?  He’s too handsome to be a tragedy!” I would have to sadly reply, “Nope, his last chance was about seven years before this portrait.  And what’s more heartbreaking is that he knows it, but didn’t quite know it at the time, until it really was too late.”

And finally, if you, by chance, said, “That uniform design rocks my socks off, would you draw [insert character name, oc or canon] for me in it?”  I would say, “I’m possibly negotiable for trade or commission.”

If you want to use it yourself though, go for it, just credit me.

Anyway, I dunno how many hours I spent on this.  A lot.  I do venture it’s tempting to play in some other Mirror timeline someday just because there’s so much one can do there; back when I wrote this one, there wasn’t a whole lot out there that treated the Mirror universe as a study of nature v. nurture rather than mustache (or goatee) twirling fun, so it’s actually nice to see canon kinda backing me up there.

This one breaks my heart, even all these years later.

[unaltra-persona]

I am nursing a crush on you. I am not even typing how I usually do. I will probably never admit who I am.

I knew someone was, though I do not know who you are - I had a tarot reading the other day saying that someone was.

I am sorry to disappoint you, but I have already found true love with Steff. Should it not work out, though it is extremely likely it will, we will speak again, but for now, let's just be friends.

I am very honoured, by the way. ♥️

[sergeantbuckybarnes]

I’ve been thinking about start writing again, but damn the summer sucks the energy off me, it’s too hot to get even remotely close to the laptop… not to mention the fan turns on within 10 minutes of me using it

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

the thing is Irish names do make sense if you know the rules!! the only reason english speakers think that the letter "V" makes the sound it does is because that's the rules in english. The same sound in Irish is represented by "mh" thus the name Niamh (Neav) or Caoimhe (keeva or kweeva). Its not "haha silly Irish people with their silly words" its "this is a different language and thus the rules of pronounciation are different" like how the letter C is pronounced differently in Italian: on its own its not a hard "c" like "candle" its a "ch" sound like in "Ciao" or "Ciabatta." Its a very simple concept that somehow escapes most english speaking people. I know very little about welsh but I imagine its a similar issue

Oh, identical. Welsh is actually rigidly phonetic with extremely simple spelling and more vowels than English, they just don't bother learning.

The thing that kills me with the pronunciation of my husband's name is that it's actually just literal, pure laziness. 'Steffan' is very easy to say. You say it as it's spelled, in fact. STEFF-an. Easy.

But English people say 'Steffun.' Or Steff'n. They can't be fucked saying the vowel properly and so just don't.

His surname is worse - 'Alun' is a common Welsh name, and it's similar to the English 'Allen', but in Welsh a 'u' is pronounced differently. 'Alun' therefore rhymes with 'gin', and 'sin', and other fun concepts. But English people again don't fucking listen and just gob out the last syllable according to English rules, no matter how many times you say it in front of them. He'll literally finish the set like "Thank you all, my name is Steffan Alun, goodnight!" and then the English MC comes on stage and goes "Steffunn Allunn everyone!!! :D"

My brother-in-law has the same problem - his name is Gwydion, and English people refuse to say anything other than 'Gwydiun' even when he repeatedly corrects them.

[itneedsmoregays]

Sing comedy fic idea: 

Johnny and Steff both help Miss Crawly set up an online dating profile, as seen in Love at First Sight. But being eager to see how she does, Steff drags Johnny along to observe Miss Crawly’s dates from a distance while wearing a variety of silly disguises, even hiding being a newspaper in the movie theatre.

Johnny: (whispering, wearing a mullet) Steff, I feel bloody ridiculous!

Steff: (wearing a Cher wig) Speak for yourself, I am rocking this look.

[zsaszrotciv]

Teddy didn't know why he agreed to this, but it was too late to back out. Just as Steff had finished locking the final pair of shackles around his wrists, he sighed deeply.

“What, don't like it?”

Unable to shake his head, Teddy stayed silent for a few beats before speaking up softly. 

“Just not used to it. Feels…weird.”

Steff shrugged.

“Yeah, it will. I think you'll grow to like them, though.” They emphasized their point with a hand in his hair, petting him almost as if he were a dog. They figured he would probably be thumping his foot against the floor like one too, if he could. The thought was amusing.

His ankles and wrists were bound with two pairs of handcuffs that were intertwined with one another in such a way that was reminiscent of a hog tie. Teddy lay on his side in the bed they now shared, feeling self-conscious. The hand on his head started to melt his fears away, though. Just as he began to lean into it, Steff pulled their hand away. He frowns. 

Noticing, they smile and click their tongue.

“Sorry, baby, you've got to earn it first.”

Teddy hated playing these games. Part of him wondered why he even let Steff put him in this situation, but then he remembered how great the reward would be and tried to quiet his thoughts. It was always worth it in the end.

That didn't keep him from being anxious, however.

The room was silent once again before Steff interjected.

“Cat got your tongue?” 

Teddy huffed as if the phrase bothered him before finally piping up. 

“Steff, will you please touch me?”

Deciding to be a smart ass, Steff reaches out and puts a hand on Teddy's shoulder.

He growls softly in his throat.

“Not what I meant…”

“You'll have to be more specific.”

“Fine. Can you- will you put your fingers back in my hair please?”

“And…?”

“And pet me like a dog.”

“Sure thing, puppy, I can do that.”

This was so degrading, he thought. None of that mattered when Steff began ruffling up his previously-pomaded hair into handfuls of thick curls atop his head, though. It was the kind of physical attention he needed, the kind he never got from his mother…ok, so maybe he had mommy issues, but he would never say it out loud.

“You're so cute, Teddy bear. I don't know why you don't just wear your hair natural. It's so nice like this.”

It shouldn't have, but the compliment made him start to blush. Steff, of course, did not miss this development.

“Aww, you like that, huh? You're adorable.” They had half a mind not to pinch his cheeks but decided against it.

Teddy's blush deepend, not-so-secretly loving the positive attention he was receiving.

“C'mon, admit it. You like this. A lot.”

Teddy opened his mouth to protest but Steff continued.

“You love being praised, and you're such a good boy I'd be cruel to refuse you. I mean honestly,” they drop their voice and lean in so that their lips rest against the shell of his ear. “It's got you hard, hasn't it?”

Fuck. He was so lost in Steff's touch that he hadn't even noticed the sensation had traveled south. It was difficult to suppress the shiver that ran through him.

“I-”

“I bet you wish I'd touch you, huh?”

He wanted that more than anything, suddenly.

Once again he opened his mouth only for Steff to cut him off.

“Hm, well, I think you can wait.”

That was the last thing he wanted to hear, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to protest. Teddy frowns but keeps quiet, eager to see what else Steff would do.

Steff’s light touch quickly turns rough as they grip Teddy's hair tightly at the roots. Teddy groans as his head is yanked back, eyes searching for Steff's face. Their expression is impossible to read.

“Honestly, I think you should beg for it.”

Teddy immediately stiffens at the idea of having to beg. He hated it, always feeling guilty and weak when he had to rely on the mercy of others to get by. He wouldn't be doing it tonight if he could help it.

“No,” he says calmly.

“Sorry?” Steff replies, a hint of confusion in their voice. “What did you say?”

“I said no. I'm not gonna beg like some kinda pathetic asshole.” 

“That’s funny, last time I checked you were a pathetic asshole.”

Teddy purses his lips at the insult, wondering how much of it was true and how much was for show. He glares at Steff.

“Alright, fine,” Steff releases their grip on his hair and starts to rise from their seat on the bed.

“...where are you going?”

“To find someone worth my time,” they answer plainly as they start to slide on their shoes.

Teddy stays quiet, checking to see if they were merely fucking around.

Next they slid their jacket on one arm at a time and headed for the door.

“You can't be serious…and you can't leave me like this-”

“That's where you're wrong, Tedward. I can, and I will.” 

He felt his stomach drop.

“Hey, wait, hold on…” He protests, squirming slightly in his restraints.

“Bye now,” Steff heads for the door, ignoring his pleas.

“Steff, c'mon…”

The door opens and shuts. Steff is gone.

“Hey…HEY! Steff, this isn't funny! You can stop playing with me!”

Silence.

“Steff! Fuck, man, come back…I- fine! Fine, I'll do it! Just don't leave me here…” Something broke in his voice.

After a moment of silence, the door opens.

Steff had merely been testing him, having stood just outside the door to see how long it would take to break him. 

“Are you gonna be a good boy for me?”

“...yes.”

Steff smiles and locks the door behind them.

“I knew you would.”

Crossing the room, they shrug their jacket back off and kick off their shoes, not caring where they went as they return to their spot on the bed. 

“You want me to play with your hair?”

Teddy felt embarrassed admitting it, but knew he had no choice now.

“Uhm…yeah, please.”

Steff tilts their head at him.

“Doesn’t sound like you’re real sure about that one…”

“Yes! I do. Please, Steff.”

“Okay,” they answer, the smile clear in their voice.

This time he groans when Steff’s fingers push through his curls. “Oh, you sound so pretty…” they compliment him, tilting his head with their hands and pressing a kiss to his forehead. “...and you’re all mine.”

The concept of being owned by someone never really clicked with Teddy until he met Steff. Normally he’d shrug the idea off and cuss out whoever even suggested it. He was the man, he should be the one with millions of women begging to fuck him but Steff had some kind of hold over him that he wouldn’t dare give up. They put him in his place, and he liked it.

Teddy lets his head fall back enough to lock eyes with Steff. They looked hungry, like they could swallow him whole, and it went straight to his cock. “Fuck,” he murmurs.

“Come here,” they order, leaning over him to grab hold of his knees to flip him over onto his back. It was the slightest bit uncomfortable, but he wouldn’t protest. With his feet pressed into the mattress, he flexes his fingers, hips lifted just enough so that his full weight wasn’t resting on his forearms. 

The more time that passed, the harder he got, and it was beginning to ache. “Steff?”

“Yes, dear?” They respond, having resumed petting his hair, his head resting in their lap.

Teddy stares up at them for a moment, then his gaze wanders to the ceiling as he asks a question.

“Can you, like, do something about this? It fuckin’ hurts…”

“About what, honey?” 

The pet name makes his chest heave.

“You know what I mean.” 

Steff shrugs again. “No, I’m afraid I’m only able to help if you use your words.” He frowns slightly, glancing away.

“I need you to…y’know…jerk me off or something, I don’t care.”

“Oh, why didn’t you just say so? I’d love to.”

Something in their voice sounded strange. Almost too giddy, and that scared him a little.

Leaning over him, Steff slides their hands down his clothed torso slowly, noting how many times he held his breath or his pulse seemed to quicken at the simplest of touches. He had started to let his knees part at this point, lazily falling to either side of the bed. Seeing an opportunity, Steff takes it, fingers moving to undo his belt. Teddy, now nearly too horny for proper brain function, doesn’t seem to catch on. Once the belt was woven back through the buckle, they slip it through his belt loops and quickly weave it beneath his knees, tightening and buckling it around his thighs. His eyes widen at the sight of another restraint being placed on him and he groans in frustration.

“Hey,” they scold, slapping at one of his calves, “hush. I can’t have you squirming around.”

“You’re totally crushing my balls, man, fuck-”

Steff laughs harshly. “And? Good boys don’t complain if they want a reward.”

Teddy shuts up. He really wanted that reward…

“Anyway.”

Steff slides their hands up his thighs and around to his hips before rubbing them back down toward his knees. They were doing everything they could just short of actually putting their hands on his dick. It was excruciating, but he reminds himself of their warning and bites the inside of his lip to keep quiet until he can’t any longer.

“H-hey, can you…I really need to feel your hands on my cock, Steff. Please.”

“Do you? Man, that must really suck for you.” Denying his request, they continue to rub the tops of his thighs, eventually letting their fingers slip between them, running them closer towards his cock without touching him before starting over.

“Steff…” His voice sounded pathetic, scratchy and full of want.

“Oooh,” they purr, sliding their hands over his hips again. “Say my name again.”

“Steff. Please.”

“You listen so well, I guess you deserve a little bit of a treat.”

He could feel himself relax further into the mattress at the thought of some kind of relief.

Nearly folding themselves in half, Steff leans even further forward and nuzzles their face against his lower stomach which earns a soft huff from Teddy. He turns his head to breathe, not wanting to be squished by Steff. Tilting their head, they press their nose up against his cock and nuzzle him lightly. 

Teddy moans suddenly and tilts his hips up even further. 

“Ah- fuck…” he sighs, trying to angle his hips back down.

Steff laughs softly through their nose, their hot breath causing him to squirm again. It was clear they were toying with him, but he was powerless to stop them. It felt like some kind of sexed-up hell.

Darting their tongue out, Steff starts licking him through his slacks before fully mouthing at his cock. He could feel the wet hot of their mouth begin to soak through the layer before eventually it hit skin, and this time his hips bucked up against them. A firm hand shoves his hip down to the mattress and holds him there.

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, Steff, you gotta-”

Sitting up, Steff silences him. “I don’t ‘gotta’ do anything, Teddy.”

Fuck, okay, wrong choice of words.

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” he whines, and Steff lowers themselves back over top of him. “I want you to- I need you- I need more. Please. This is torture.”

“Fine,” they agree, and start to palm him instead. Teddy makes a strangled noise in his throat and his hips jerk upward.

“Gh- oh, God, fuck.”

“Not quite,” Steff laughs, voice almost a giggle.

Deciding he had probably had enough for now, Steff decides to spare him. Their hands find the button on his slacks and undo it, pulling the zipper down and find themselves surprised that he had nothing on underneath. They hum softly and free him from his slacks, fingers immediately wrapping around him and working up a slow rhythm.

“Ah, fuck, I- uhm, I tried to come, uh, prepared…”

“So smart,” they praise, lazily stroking him. His composure breaks the moment they swipe their thumb over the head.

“Fuck! Oh, my God, Steff, PLEASE don’t stop- I-” he bites his lip hard, trying to bite back a moan and fails miserably. “Mmmm-fuck!”

“You sound so good like this,” Steff comments, their voice low and almost husky. “Hm…fuck it.”

Steff takes their hand off him and he nearly sobs, hips following their retreating touch.

“Steff, please don’t-” 

Steff sits up and shushes him with a quick open mouth kiss that he greedily accepts. Pulling back, they scoot out from under him and start to undress from the waist down. With nothing left on but their loosely buttoned dress shirt, they move to flip him on his side again and grab the key from the nightstand to unlock the cuffs placed around his ankles. They weave them through the chain of the cuffs on his wrists and toss them onto the floor before undoing the belt around his thighs and throwing it aside. With his wrists still bound underneath him, Steff crawls into his lap and positions themselves in line with his cock. Sighing, they lower themselves down and take him fully inside of themselves.

Teddy almost chokes on another moan, this one louder than the last, wishing he had his hands free to grip bruises into Steff’s hips. He bucks his hips up again, drawing a yelp from their throat.

“Slow down,” they hiss, and slowly roll their hips in a circle before attempting to grind against him. “Ah-!” 

“Jesus fucking Christ, Steff-” Teddy growls, rolling his hips up again. “I didn’t think you’d be soaked, and you’re tighter than a drum-” 

Steff slams a hand down on the center of his chest and carefully lifts themselves up and nearly off of him before slamming their hips back down against his with a whine.

“D-do something you’re good at and keep talking, pretty boy,” they order, repeating the motion again with another, louder moan.

“I couldn’t shut up if you put a muzzle on me,” he admits, rocking his hips up into them with a groan.

“That’s-that’s a good idea…” they mention, turning the motions into a consistent rhythm, both hands now on his chest for support.

“Steff, I-I’m not gonna last if you keep doing that…”

“Good.”

Steff eventually pulls a hand back to feverishly work circles around their clit, throwing their head back as Teddy’s stare flickers from their hand to their face and back again. “Fuckfuckfuckfuck-mh!”

Without warning, Teddy hits his climax with a broken moan, body tensing as Steff all but drains him of it. Steff can barely stand it as they feel him fill them up, but they keep their pace for a while longer before coming themselves. Their voice is a sharp yelp as they orgasm, voice breaking as their body stills for a moment before they all but collapse on his chest. They both lay there, chests heaving as they come down from the high together.

“Fuck, fuck you, fuck,” Steff grumbles against him, face buried in his shirt.

“What’d I do?” “What didn’t you do? I feel like I’m gonna die.”

“Oh.” He smiles. “Was it that good?”

“Shut up,” they gently tap his cheek with their fingers, “I did all the work.”

“...do you think you can uncuff me now?”

“Give me 5 minutes, Tedward.”

[okpow]

NFL Picks Against the Evil Las Vegas Point Spread Week 11 2022 - Incoming Blizzard Edition

(above: Even I can’t hate on this photo)

The Titans are probably the one team that can manage to get away with being average and find ways to win. Always a solid roster. But they should still be the Oilers. They could go on a Cinderella run if Burks pans out some more....

Browns vs Bills from Buffalo Detroit - Bills by 8.5

The Bills D looks banged up but playing in a dome vs a blizzard probably benefits Josh Allen, who will be super fucking pissed because the Vikings didn’t really deserve to win last week. But 8.5 is a lot especially on a neutral field - Amari Cooper goes off but so does Steff Diggs but this line should be closer to 6.5 imo. Browns cover.

Eagles at Clots - Iggies by a manly road 7

Pink highlighter fuck face Eagles head coach is about to find out that DISNEY KIDS SPORTS MOVIE HEAD COACH JEFF SATURDAY IS THE WRONG GROSSLY UNQUALIFIED COACH TO FUCK WITH. COLTS MONEY LINE.

Loins at Lil’ Giants - Giants by 3.5

I will take the Over on 45 points in a game where it’s Daniel Jones who runs wild although Saquon still kinda runs wild but not as wild as you think. The Lions are fun but wheels off.

Jets at Patriots - Patriots by 3.5 

This could be the Defensive Smash Spot of the Year Sweet Jesus. For the Patriots, if that wasn’t already obvious. The Jets have put together some good games but are still the fucking Jets and most importantly THE PATRIOTS ARE COMING OFF A BYE WEEK AND IT’S BELICHICK AT HOME TO ZACH WILSON. Patriots cover and over on 38 points. Meanwhile in the press box, Robert Kraft demands more eye contact from his masseuses.

Panthers at Ravens - Ravens by 13

Speaking of coming off a bye week with plans of doing some fucked up shit at home to bad teams, LAMAR JACKSON IS YOUR FANTASY QB OF THE WEEK TO WATCH AND AVOID PLAYING AGAINST. Vegas sees this as a 27-13ish kinda game and that seems fair. Ravens stunt all over these Charlotte hoes.

Rams at Taints in New Orleans- Over/Under 39 points

There is some sneaky upside / shootout potential here me thinks. Olave, Kamara, Higbee, all Rams WRs, et al. are all great fantasy plays. Over on an obscenely low 39 points.

Raiders at Broncos at Hile Migh Stadium - Broncos by 3

As a Russ Wilson truther and denier of praise it pains me to say he’s in a really good spot here and Courtland Sutton is a GREAT wide receiver play this week. Broncs cover at 2.5.

Cowboys at Vikings - Cowboys Oddly Favored by 1.5 points

Le heckin gamerino of the heckin week here. Unless you count Washington vs. Houston but we aren’t acknowledging that game this week. I will happily take the Vikings as a home favorite to Dallas AND the Under on 47 points in a Double Play Lock of the Week. Zeke looks worse than Pollard, Pollard doesn’t get touches, Dalvin Cook gets lots of touches, wash rinse repeat.

[newshirtonlines-blog]

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