#still checking my notifs/inbox every two seconds but at this point ive accepted Someones probably gotten a notif and well. nothing i can do
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im beginning to think that i am mentally ill and the internet makes my mental illness Worse
#i dont often get personal on this blog but im going to be so honest idc anymore. no one has 2 read this if they dont wanna i promise#but anyway. if *ACCIDENTALLY* rbing a Bad post and deleting it within ~5 seconds of it happening AND blocking the op#is enough to send me into one of my downward spirals of NEEDING to check my notes and inbox#and opening and closing my blog to make sure its Actually deleted and im not just Imagining its deleted#in order to feel even slightly okay#only to immediately remember/realize that blog notifications on mobile not only send INSTANTLY upon a rb happening#but show every detail of the post and dont stack either#therefor sending me even FURTHER into my checking and sending me into a panic#because this means people possibly Wont Know It Was A Mistake and instead might think its a genuine opinion of mine#therefor making me panic MORE#if ALL OF THAT is just because this fucking website cant impliment a proper quick-rb button for desktop#and a mistake happened#then i dont think the internet is good for me at this point and i think i need to smash all of my devices#i already get a lot of those like... needing to do Something to make sure nothing bad happened/happens#like i get that a lot already from my irl life i do NOT need it to happen online too.#because like.. i dont know WHO saw that. so am i making a huge fuss out of nothing/a mistake everyone could have made?#yes! probably! but i cant really stop myself now that ive started so this is going to Legit Haunt Me which is Not Normal!#whatever mannnnn#got so upset over this i cried and then circled back around to just Mildly stressed to apathetic entirely within the span of 4 minutes#still checking my notifs/inbox every two seconds but at this point ive accepted Someones probably gotten a notif and well. nothing i can do#kitkat chitchat
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