#still feel terrible for don e and darcy

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iZombie 5x11 "Bye, Zombies" Review

It feels like I’ve been waiting for this episode the entire series, in more ways than one. Buckle in, there is so much to discuss!

The episode opens with Liv tending to all the Freylich brain kids at the headquarters, and she gives a quick rundown of events via voiceover. I wish this narrative device was used more consistently this season. I have a love-hate relationship with voiceover, I think it can often tip into cheesy and unnecessary. On iZombie, however, the use of voiceover was crucial in the early seasons. If Liv is on a different brain every week, her personality and character development can get lost in the mix. Her voiceover bookended the episodes and was a good way to touch base with her, and to make sure the audience still had access to inside her head. Liv sums up the events that have happened thus far, and how stressful things have been. But her hope remains in the cure; it’s the only thing they have to look forward to. 

This hope becomes complicated fairly quickly. Liv walks in on an upset Ravi, who tells her that the CDC has decided to use the uptiopium for treatments, rather than a cure. Charlie has been kicked off the project, and it’s been moved to a high security building. Ravi points out there’s more money in treatments than cures, and the CDC doesn’t actually have any interest in being helpful to the suffering people of New Seattle. It’s a good call back to Ravi’s fraught relationship with his old employer, the CDC. He was fired for taking biological warfare too seriously, and it seems he finds himself back at square one with them. He and Liv decide the only thing to do now is to pull off an Oceans 11-esque heist. Obviously the only answer! They gather with Clive, Peyton, and Major to tell them the plan. If I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again, this show is always at its strongest when it trusts its five main players to drive the story, and let them drive it together. Getting the entire gang involved is part of what made this episode so great. 

It turns out there can be advantages to being zombies — they don’t actually have to learn any heist skills overnight, they can just consume them. They order a ninja and acrobat from Don E (who is in a really foul mood due to Darcy’s death) and Clive thinks of some old petty criminals he knew back in the day. At first, Clive doesn’t plan on going with them. He gives an emotional goodbye to Liv and Ravi, including hugs, and maybe there were a few tears involved. But Bozzio tells him to get his butt out there, and to save the world for their daughter. “You’re the Clooney,” she reminds him. How are they going to pull this off without him? Clive finally steps through the closet of the Renegade quarters, and it’s one of my favorite moments of the whole series. Everything is coming together for one last adventure, and it was an immensely satisfying scene. 

In order to get the pickpocket brain Clive recommended, Major and Liv dig up his grave together. It’s difficult to write this scene objectively, without taking into account the uproar in the Veronica Mars fandom this week. A shocking twist at the end of the new revival season regarding the show’s main couple has left many fans feeling betrayed, confused, and frustrated. Rob Thomas, the showrunner for both Veronica Mars and iZombie, has expressed multiple times that he’s not interested in writing main female characters with boyfriends or writing couples with happily-ever-afters. He didn’t see a way that he could incorporate hard-hitting detective stories and a healthy romance into the same show. 

I have only seen a few episodes of Veronica Mars, but I’ve seen every episode of iZombie, and several things about this show now make sense. I now understand why all of Liv’s boyfriends have been killed off and then never mentioned again. I now understand why when Clive and Bozzio finally got together, Bozzio got pregnant and practically dropped off the face of the earth. It makes me wonder if romance between Ravi and Liv was never explored because the showrunner believed it meant he had to eventually axe one of them, and didn’t want to do that. And most of all, it makes sense why Liv and Major haven’t had any significant progress in their relationship in several seasons. 

Rob Thomas has basically admitted that he doesn’t know how to successfully juggle murder and love on his shows, and he has no interest in finding out. So the timing for this Major and Liv scene is terrible, in more ways than one. Not only do I wish I could have enjoyed it without the baggage of another show hanging over it, but I really think it should have happened sooner in the series. Regardless, now we know why it didn’t. 

The scene itself is actually incredibly sweet. “I’m really glad we’re at this place in our relationship,” Major says. “We can dig up graves without having to talk.” The two of them reminisce on their relationship over the entire series — from how they used to be engaged to wed in a pre-zombie world, to how they’ve both done things that hurt the other, and how they’ve wound up here. “We’ve both done a lot of well-intentioned crap to each other. But here we are, still here,” Major says. He gives her a heartfelt pep talk, telling her that he believes she’s the only one that can pull this off. And pull this off, she must. The fate of the world depends on it. Not only is this a commentary on their deep friendship, but also on who they are as characters. They both have gone through immense changes throughout the series, but it feels like the core of who they are is still there. Major and Liv are both good people, with a capital G. A war-torn, zombie world has tried to change that, but it never succeeded. I’m forever grateful for this show for giving me these two. Major tells Liv she’s a badass, and she kisses him, right in the middle of the grave. Within the world of iZombie, it felt true to the show, and something I’ve been waiting on for so long! 

It means, however, that I’m incredibly worried about Major’s life. The tension between humans and zombies is finally at a breaking point. His Fillmore Grave squad tells him that zombies are riding in the streets, provoking humans and wanting to start a war. Major takes a team out to hopefully quell the riots. “They want to start a war, let’s not give them the satisfaction,” he says. He and his team ride out, but while Major is giving orders, a huge explosion hits their van. My heart skipped a bit, because I really thought Major might have been taken out in this moment. He crawls out of the van, bleeding and confused. Enzo rolls up in a Fillmore Graves van, and the final stand that we always knew was coming finally happened. Enzo convinces all of Major’s men to betray him, leaving Major standing alone. Fillmore Graves has never believed in Major, never totally committed to him as a leader. I’ve never felt the show built a convincing argument as to why Chase Graves inspired so many more followers than Major and that Major was a bad leader. Major has tried to keep the peace in New Seattle for as long as he’s been in charge, but his zombies are out for brains. He escapes by the skin of his teeth, and Enzo goes on TV letting everyone know that he’s the new sheriff in town, and humans had better hide. Dolly and her people watch from their fish food truck, and she gives the go ahead to retaliate and recruit. 

Meanwhile, Blaine discovers that Ravi has stolen his Freylich brains. He tells his smuggler that if he sees Ravi, shoot to kill. This season has really doubled down on Blaine being evil, with no interest in redeeming him. This episode sees him doing some truly unforgivable acts. While Liv is gone, she asks Peyton to housesit at the Renegade quarters. Because Blaine is the worst, he and Don E “follow Ravi’s favorite thing” to lead them to where the Freylich brain kids are hiding out. He and Don E muscle themselves in, and Peyton emotionally begs Blaine to leave them alone. It’s hard not to imagine a season that had gone all in as Blaine as the Big Bad of the entire series. If they had whittled down on nuclear threats and off-shoot human supremacist gangs, and beefed up even more on Blaine’s goal of taking control of New Seattle, I wonder if the season would have been stronger. Thankfully, the show did cut back on forcing real world political parallels that it didn’t have the range for, as I was afraid it would be the main focus of the season, but I think a centered focus on Blaine would have made everything much more focused. This scene, for example, was absolutely terrifying. Both Aly Michalka’s emotional performance and David Anders cold brutality elevated the tension in this moment, and left the fate of both Peyton and the Freylich brain kids in the balance. I’m holding out hope that this will be the moment that our dark horse player, Don E, will emerge as an unlikely hero of this series, but we are going to have to wait until the finale to find out. 

In Atlanta, Clive, Liv, and Ravi actually pull off the heist. Despite Liv on pickpocket brain having the stickiest fingers ever, Ravi being incredibly unpleasant on Russian hacker brain, and Clive getting momentarily distracted by busting some serious moves on the dance floor, they manage to hit their mark, Gladys from HR. For the second half of the heist, Liv and Ravi switch to the ninja and acrobat brains, and sneak into the high security building. Clive saunters passed a guard that thinks all black people look the same, and helps Charlie smuggle in too. For a moment, it seems like the CDC has caught on to our heroes. Saxon rushes in and opens the vault to make sure the uptiopium was still there. Unfortunately for him, he fell right into their trap. Liv points a gun at Saxon and smugly tells him they knew they wouldn’t be able to get into the vault, so they tipped him off so he could do it for them. Saxon tries to bargain with Ravi, and to apologize for how the CDC has treated him, but Ravi is done standing by. No one knows better than Ravi the importance of this cure. Not only is he a man of science, he’s watched his loved ones deal with the zombie virus for several years. He’s had a front row seat to Liv and Major’s trials and watched Peyton buckle under the pressure of being New Seattle’s mayor. He watched Isobel pass away, and then when he tried to avenge her by ethically pursuing a cure, he kept losing to Blaine and the CDC. Well, not anymore. After five seasons of setbacks, there’s no way Ravi’s going to let go of the cure that easily. Ravi rages out. He knocks out Saxon, and Liv grabs the uptiopium. There’s just one more piece they needed for the cure — the Max Rager from Fillmore Graves. Liv calls Major, and he reassures her not to worry about it. When the camera cuts to him, we see him hiding out in the waterfront, injured and alone. 

There is a lot of things to wrap up next week, but I thought this penultimate episode was exciting, character-driven, and showcased elements of the show that made me love it so much. Next week, I’ll see you back in New Seattle, for one final time. 

Stray Thoughts: 

“You’re not that great with boyfriends, are you?” Don E tells Liv, which is the first time all season anyone has mentioned that Liv’s boyfriends have short lifespans on this show. 

“His hair makes me so angry!” 

Clive mentions that if Liv eats the pickpocket brain, to “get ready for visions of me rockin’ a mustache” and I’m so mad the show didn’t make good on this promise. 

“What are you going to do without me?” Liv asks Clive, pointing out that she’s no use as a police partner without her visions. What’s their relationship going to look like when Liv is no longer a zombie?

Peyton tells Liv that she’s probably going to marry Ravi. Pavi forever. 

“We are in the south now, you don’t put stolen jewelry in a black man’s pocket.” I squeaked at this line! Between the racist janitor and this line, Clive was really coming for Atlanta in this episode. 

I thought it was a hilarious gag to have someone remember Ravi from his CDC days, even if it was a one night stand that didn’t really reflect well on his character

Haley’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝🐝.5

The series finale of iZombie airs Thursday, August 1 at 9/8c on the CW.

[cbk1000]

Book Tag                                                        

Tagged by @garglyswoof

1. Favorite book of all time?

If I pick one, all the others will get jealous, and anyway, with much hand-wringing I could maybe provide a top ten list of books that are very important to me for one reason or another, but picking one solitary favourite is an impossible task, and I won’t attempt it.

2. What are you currently reading?

Leucippe and Clitophon. It’s one of the few surviving novels of Ancient Greece, and it’s delightfully bizarre, and also features an argument about how gay sex is better than straight sex, but I’m not sure it can hold a candle to that one Roman novel that involved bestiality, a man getting his face peed on, and the protagonist twice escaping peril thanks to the timely arrival of some explosive diarrhea.

3. Have you ever considered writing a book?

Why yes, yes I have. It’s the one great existential crisis of my life, actually, thanks for asking.

4. Favourite series?

These are probably all going to be fantasy, because no other genre feels like you just absolutely can’t tell a story unless it’s 22 1000+ page volumes long. (If anyone wants to call me out here, let me just point out that there are 13 fics in that series, the first three are around 30 pages, and even the longest one is only about 200. It’s about 1400 pages altogether, which is like one and a half volumes in The Wheel of Time series or whatever. So THERE.)

Phedre’s Trilogy. I love Jacqueline Carey’s worldbuilding and the concept of a bunch of pansexuals running around doinking each other and playing dangerous political murder games.

Imriel’s Trilogy. See above. There’s actually a third trilogy set in the same universe a couple hundred years later, but honestly, I didn’t find it as compelling and didn’t read the third book. The first two are grand, though.

The Banned and the Banished. I read this series as a kid and it was dark and fucked-up and further proof that my parents left me to my own devices when it came to reading and really did not vet my books, because this would have made the TIMMY SHIELD YOUR EYES list for sure. The image of a naked woman parting her knees and a bunch of spiders crawling out of her vagina is still, for obvious reasons, viscerally with me.

The Deathgate Cycle. Another childhood favourite. Just a really good old school fantasy series with some great worldbuilding; I’ve been eyeing them again lately because I’ve been in the mood for some fantasy.  

The Chronicles of Narnia. I’ve made it really clear that I’m not remotely religious, so you’d think the overt themes of Christianity might annoy me, but these are just great stories, and honestly, I don’t find them overly preachy; I think C.S. Lewis’ writing has so much to take away from it, whether the reader is devoutly faithful or an unrepentant sinner like myself.

5. Book you’d like to read?

Sea of Darkness by Brian Hicks. This is actually one of my dad’s Christmas presents. It’s about the history and discovery of the H.L. Hunley, a submarine that sank during the American Civil War. 

Nicholas II: Life and Death by Edvard Radinsky. I spotted this at the used bookstore Friday afternoon and it immediately called to the obsessive Russophile part of me, so I had a flick through it and decided I must own it. Then I remembered that I was pretty sure I’d seen the Russian edition in one of the bookstores I use for all my Russian reading needs, and rushed home to find it. I did nick a copy from e-bay, so it’s now on its way to me, and, weather permitting, in about a week we will find our way into one another’s arms and I can read yet again about the brutal demise of the Romanovs and wring my hands over it, except this time in Russian, so with 3x the misery for half the price.  

Neil Gaiman’s The View From the Cheap Seats. This is a collection of essays on writing and creating that I’ve been eyeing for a while because Gaiman has such a great attitude about writing and seems like such a down-to-earth guy who probably has some great things to say about literature and the way it shapes us. 

 The Telling Room by Michael Paterniti. It’s about cheese. Also, Kelly’s descriptions of it really intrigued me.

And Quiet Flows the Don/Quiet Don (It’s literally just Quiet Don in Russian, but the English title is And Quiet Flows the Don, I’m sure because a lot of English speakers have no idea that it’s a river in Russia.) This is a massive War and Peace sized novel on the Don Cossacks during the turbulent years of WWI and the following Revolutions that I’ve been meaning to read for a while; I’m just waiting for my Russian vocab to catch up; I think I’m going to attempt it soon.

7. Favourite fictional character(s)?

D’artagnan, the little poncing YOU WANNA’ GO?? shit

 Edmond Dantes/The Count of Monte Christo, because I aspire to those levels of revenge but I know I’m far too impatient to carry out anything so glorious.

Magdalen from Wilkie Collin’s No Name because despite restrictive Victorian conventions meant to keep women in their parlors with a dainty cup of tea, she said ‘Fuck you all, I’m gonna’ steal back the rightful inheritance you cheated me out of through cunning and deception’ and went on to outwit a bunch of men.

Pierre Bezukhov from War and Peace because he’s such a great bumbling dweebus of a well-meaning Russian aristocrat, and I’ve always had a soft spot for him

Elizabeth Bennett, Pride and Prejudice. She destroys men with only her words; a true rolemodel for us all.

8. Book Ships

Elizabeth Bennett/Mr. Darcy

Sarra Ambrai/Collan Rosvenir from Melanie Rawn’s Exiles series. At one point I was so upset by something that happens to this couple that I actually threw the book across my room

Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett Butler; they’re both terrible people, and tbh I think Scarlett totally gets what she deserves in the end, but their push and pull is so entertaining.

Jo and Laurie from Little Women and, ok, I know it doesn’t happen, I know this book was published over a century ago, but I’m still salty about it, all right??

9. Pick up the book closest to you, open page one and write down the first paragraph.

The closest book to me is a Russian translation of Ken Follett’s The Pillars of the Earth, so I walked over to the closest available English books and picked one at random. It’s a collection of Keats’ poetry:

Now Morning from her orient chamber came,

And her first footsteps touched a verdant hill;

Crowning its lawny crest with amber flame,

Silv’ring the untainted gushes of its rill;

Which, pure from mossy beds of simple flowers,

By many streams a little lake did fill,

Which round its marge reflected woven bowers,

And, in its middle space, a sky that never lowers.

10. What’s the 1st fandom you were in?

I don’t remember ever really participating in any fandom related to books. I do remember when I was a kid getting pretty into an online forum dedicated to Quest for Glory (90s point and click fantasy game), though. 

Tagging: @sunoftheguns @terriblygrimm @goldcaught @maevelin @darthrey @hellsbellschime @samcarter34

[truthbeetoldmedia]

iZombie 5x11 "Killer Queen" Review 

As iZombie creeps toward its series finale, we are getting our last tastes of brains as our heroes get closer to a cure than ever before. This episode managed to juggle a case-of-the-week while also doing a fair amount of table setting for the finale, even if some aspects were anti-climactic. 

While the last few episodes have had murders that tie directly into the progressing plot or were a result of the existence of zombies, this week’s case was pretty isolated from the rest of the episode. Other than Liv’s sole, crucial vision, it seems as if this murder could have been solved on any other show. An aging drag queen, Mike, is murdered with a six-foot string of pearls, sending Liv and Clive down a rabbit hole into old school drag queen culture. It gives Liv the opportunity to gussy up more than usual, via dramatic eye makeup and a wig with impeccable finger waves. There’s a conflicting consensus among the group on her look — Clive calls it a “bold choice” while Ravi remarks that it’s “A bit more reserved than I was expecting, frankly.” Despite being suspicious of the new queen in town, Bitchcraft, it turns out to be the drag queen’s performing and business partner for 20 years, Gary, who is the culprit. Mike was planning on selling the drag bar to turn it into a parking lot, and Gary could not abide to lose his home and family to such a business decision. A very specific Cher outfit ends up being the smoking gun, which Liv, with her new found keen drag queen eye, was able to spot. 

While Clive and Liv are getting schooled on the nuances between traditional and mainstream drag queen conventions, Major and Ravi get a much more action star plot in this episode. Another murder case down at the station tips Liv off to a cure that’s been floating around, and she and Ravi are able to trace it back to the Freylich brains. Ravi makes Major a sushi dinner to ask for his help, but it turns out Major doesn’t need much convincing to basically play James Bond. He whips out his hopelessly charming smile to get a contact from a young woman named Clarissa Bates and puts a tracking device in a business card. (The best part of being in charge of Fillmore Graves is “the toys,” he gushes.) He and Ravi stake out where they think the Freylich kids are being smuggled from, decked out in black beanies and big coats. Ravi finds the van with all the kids while Major gets in a close range shootout. Ravi drives the van into their assailant, and then uses it as a getaway car, with all the kids in the back. 

Ravi has been feeling so guilty about the Freylich brain discovery, and I have to say, seeing all the kids in the van with their mouths duct-taped was pretty disturbing. It certainly puts a visual on the horrible operation Blaine has been running. While Ravi is stealing the Freylich kids out from Blaine’s nose, Blaine figures out that Don E has been smuggling brains for Fillmore Graves behind his back. He’s angry, but halfway impressed. This coincides with the day of Don E’s and Darcy’s wedding. Don E gathers his friends and the bagpipe player to the bar, dressed to the nines, ready for holy matrimony, when Blaine quietly tells Don E to follow him. When Blaine leads Don E to the back, it seems like he’s setting him up for some kind of payback, but then it’s revealed Darcy has passed away. She’s peacefully lying on the couch, dressed her wedding dress. Blaine coldly tells Don E that Darcy has to go to the client soon, but Don E should take his time. 

All of this was so heartbreaking. I felt like neither Don E or the audience got a real moment to say goodbye to Darcy, which is a bummer. But it also casts a suspicious light over her death. Although we knew her Freylich brain would take her too young and too soon, you can’t help but wonder if Blaine had hastened the process. It would certainly be in his character to do so, as Ravi has taken his other potential Freylich cures, and Blaine has motivation to want to hurt Don E now. It seems as if Darcy died with no sign of struggle, but I have a hard time believing it. Don E has emerged as one of my favorite characters this season, and I’m interested in where he will end up when the show ends. Darcy burned bright and quick, but I enjoyed her time with us. On the other hand, I hope Blaine gets his comeuppance in a few weeks. 

What seems to have the biggest impact on the endgame going forward is Ravi and Liv’s discovery of Martin’s operation. Right as the episode starts, they flee into the night with the original recipe of uptoipium, as well as the knowledge that Martin and Enzo have a full army of Romeros. Ravi tells Liv that he can send the uptiopium to Charlie at the CDC to find out more.  Martin and Enzo find the tamperings Ravi and Liv left behind, and move their operation. That doesn’t stop them from moving some important pieces their game plan. 

It’s still a little fuzzy to me what Martin’s end goal is. Martin seems to only be driven by revenge, to get back at humans for hating zombies by creating more and more zombies. We never really see what the root of that anger is from. Sure, tensions are high between humans and zombies in general, but Martin seems to have a lot more agency in this situation than he claims. After all, he started this whole mess! He also believes that zombies are more superior to humans, but there’s really no other basis for this belief other than he accidentally created a way to live undead. 

When Martin is wishy-washy on pushing forward some of the details, Enzo tells him he’s being soft, and Liv has been a bad influence on him. Martin gives the okay to have their hostage, Graham’s boyfriend Stephen, killed. It cannot be understated what a terrible, awful, logistical mistake this is on Enzo and Martin’s part. Stephen comes through the morgue, which alerts Liv of his connection to Graham. Since Graham has no incentive to stay loyal to Martin and Enzo, he tells Liv about Riley, the double agent coyote. Riley had just left for a smuggling mission  Liv hadn’t been tuned into, and as it turns out, it was a way for zombies to leave Seattle to infect a much bigger number of people. Liv immediately calls Martin, and begs him to call it all off. Martin tells Liv, “You’re a good person and suffer when others do,” which is why all of this is upsetting to her. For a moment, it seems like Liv might have won Martin over, but then Enzo shows up. Frustrated with his inaction, Enzo executes Martin, with Liv watching the whole thing. 

Unfortunately, I found this to be a little underwhelming. When Martin was introduced at the beginning of the season, it was supposed he was some kind of unstoppable force of evil. Reintroducing Graham into the mix reminded me of that first initial meeting, when Martin and his goals were still shrouded in mystery. As episodes went on, he became a less and less formidable presence. It was humanzing to see him try to be Liv’s father, but it undercut the sinister vibe significantly. I was hoping to see more of a heartbreaking showdown between Liv and Martin. With this latest development, it has effectively (and perhaps unwittingly) made Enzo the Big Bad for the entire series. I’m not sure this was the strongest choice they could have made, but with two episodes to go, I’m hopeful iZombie has a little extra twist up its sleeve to close us out. 

Final thoughts:

“When have I ever been anything but professional?” Clive looks like he could cite several years of grievances to this comment. 

This was a good episode for Liv’s wigs, which I would expect nothing less for a drag queen episode 

The biggest laugh for me this episode was when Liv admonishes Jenkins for pulling an image from the security footage of a drag queen that was so obviously “not Cher!!” 

Graham finding out that Stephen had died was absolutely devastating. Graham was underutilized this season, in my opinion. 

I missed Peyton. As interesting as the Ravi and Major plot was, it would have been so exciting to have her come along, as well as Liv. I hope the four of them get some key group moments before the series ends.  

Also, where is Bozzio? I want to see the baby! 

Lots of gays buried in this episode. Along with the attitude towards sex workers in a previous episode, sometimes iZombie can use disappointing, regressive tropes. 

I thought the Renegade plot would be much more front and center this season, but I wonder if they weren’t sure what to do with it in the midst of everything else going on. Seeing Liv back at their headquarters again was a little jarring, as we haven’t paid it a visit in a few episodes. 

Haley’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝.5

iZombie airs Thursdays at 9/8c on the CW.

[truthbeetoldmedia]

iZombie 5x10 "Night in the Zombie City" Review

With just three episodes of iZombie left, we are inching closer and closer to the truth about the cure, and characters are going to more drastic measures as time ticks on. 

For this week’s murder, a young sex worker and private eye detective are killed back to back. Liv eats the detective’s brain, bathing the episode in noir. Sad saxophones, light bars across the eyes, and long trench coats. A thunderstorm plays in the background for the whole episode, making every scene feel like a dark and stormy night. The power goes out in the station, giving it a 50’s black and white movie vibe. Bunny, the sex worker, was one of Candy’s girls, so the investigation naturally winds up at Don E Be Good’s. All signs point to the waitress, Jane, who ends up returning to the scene of the crime. Blaine confronts her near the bar, and right before Jane is about to shoot him, Crybaby comes in and knocks her out cold. Blaine eats her brain in hopes of finding out more, and he has a vision. The private eye detective had managed to secure a cure for Bunny, and Jane caught wind of it. Trying to steal the cure for herself, she killed both of them. Of course, getting another cure would be in Blaine’s best interest, and so he eats Jane’s brain in hopes to figure out where she stashed the cure. 

Blaine and Liv cross paths at the private eye’s office while working on the case, but tensions finally boil over between the two when they are looking for the cure in the kitchen of Don E Be Good’s. Peyton gets Liv to come out drinking, and Peyton drowns her sorrows and delivers wobbly karaoke. The fun comes to an abrupt end when someone tells Peyton that she was a bad mayor. She tells him exactly what she thinks about that by sockin him right in the mouth. A huge bar fight breaks out. “Seriously? On karaoke night?” Don E moans. If only he knew the knockout, drag-out Liv and Blaine were having in the back. This is certainly not the first time that these two have come to fisticuffs, but this time it gets ugly. Crybaby intervenes again, with more intentions to kill. Right before he brings the bat down on Liv’s head, Clive comes to the rescue. Blaine throws Crybaby under the bus for Jane’s murder, which is what Blaine does, and Crybaby truly should not be shocked about it.

 Peyton is also arrested. Poor girl is clearly having a hard time dealing with not being mayor anymore. Now that she’s off the hook for all of Seattle’s problems, what else does she have to do? “Did I ever tell you I wanted to be a paleontologist?” she tells Liv. “Seems hard to get fired from that job.” I hope in the next three episodes, Peyton can get her groove back, rather than taking up an extended stay in Margaritaville and getting arrested for bar fights. 

Another character who has been under a lot of stress lately, as well as a new relationship, is Don E. In a bought of frustration, he calls the murders a “hassle” for business, which rubs Darcy the wrong way. Confused about what he said, Liv soothes him while sipping on hard liquor. “Dames got you dizzy, Don E. It’s what dames do.” He has a sweet moment with Candy, where she encourages him to get Darcy back, and it seems a little bit like a final goodbye. Candy has been an unsung hero of this series. She has never had a full plot on her own, unfortunately always at the mercy of the unethical men in her life. We aren’t often in tune with her thoughts and feelings, but she has been with us since the beginning. So when we see her steal the cure for herself and get on the back of a sexy motorcycle, I cheered out loud. Cue the Lucille Bluth “Good for her!” gif! Although it sets our heroes back, yet again ending an episode cure-less, I can’t help but feel like out of all the people to get one of the rare original cures, Candy deserves it the most. Be free, Candy! 

Darcy agrees to speak to Don E, and she tells him that she was angry at his reaction to Bunny because his chief concern was finding a replacement for her. Darcy doesn’t have much time left, so she was worried that would be Don E’s reaction to her death as well. Don E has matured the most out of any character on this show, and so when he tells Darcy that he’s hardened by all the death in his life, but still loves her, it feels like a hard won, vulnerable moment from him. He asks Darcy to marry him, which was the perfect mix of corny and sweet. At first I was sure that we would see Darcy die by the end of the season, but I’m beginning to wonder if the show has a future for these two after all. If there’s any zombies standing after Liv and Martin’s showdown, that is. 

Ravi wastes no time telling Liv the truth about her father, that he also, in fact, is Father of all Zombie-kind. In turn, she wastes no time confronting him about it. Not only is she angry that he withheld something so major, it also means he holds the key to the cure. He created the recipe for utopium that could be the solution to all their problems. He quickly tells her that he was high all the time in those days, so there’s no way he remembers the recipe. The audience knows this isn’t true, and it’s only a matter of time before Liv and the group find out. But not before Ravi lapses judgement a little and tells Martin he was testing rats with Max Rager, the energy drink that gives extreme psychological effects. When it’s paired with utopium, it turns people into zombies. Ravi explains that it stimulants the frontal cortex. Martin seems incredibly interested at this piece of information, and we found out later that Max Rager is the last piece of the puzzle that he needs to control his army. 

At Fillmore Graves, Major is begging for a distraction from the negotiations with the government. His second gives him a note that the keycard system needs to be replaced. While she mentions that it’s “just boring stuff,” it turns disturbing fast. Major catches a janitor with a huge carton of Max Rager with two keycards. When Major tells him that he wants to ask him some questions, the janitor runs into a shower hook, impaling his brain rather than talk. When Ravi hears what the janitor was trying to steal, he brings up to Liv the conversation he had with Martin. Liv proposes sneaking into Martin’s house while he’s in an AA meeting, and boy do they hit the motherlode. Not only do they find the exact recipe from the night of the yacht party that created the first zombie outbreak, but they find the army too. Ravi pulls aside the curtain, hoping for an escape route, and finds a pack of Romeros staring back at him behind a cage. 

Meanwhile, two of the weakest plots of the show finally meet each other and seem to resolve. As a little recap, Hi Zombie is the webseries that Peyton got fired for funding. The premise is two families move in next door to each other — one human, one zombie — and they root out all the stereotypes they have against each other. Every clip or scene we’ve seen of this show has been didactic and a little forced, but surely it was a plot device to build some kind of crucial bridge. The threat of nuclear warfare has been looming over New Seattle for quite some time now, and I mean a long time now. I understand this is a big decision, but it’s been stretched to the point of taking the wind out of the story’s sails a bit. I never actually believed that New Seattle would get nuked, and now we know it’s probably not going to. Why? All because of Hi Zombie! The chairman walks in on her grandson watching the show, and leans over to watch it with him for a while. Over the course of the evening, she has a change of heart about the zombie community. When it comes down to a vote on whether or not to nuke the town, she breaks the tie by voting no. “They have the capacity to become monsters” she says, but she can’t base her vote on “for fear for what they might become.” All of this is certainly not good enough for General Mills, who pays a phone call to our favorite local criminal, Dolly. These two make a toxic team up, for sure, but how will they factor in to the grand finale?

Final thoughts:

Ravi does an amazing noir detective monologue that I can only assume is based off Harrison Ford’s Bladerunner voiceover 

Was it just me, or was there extra alcohol in this episode? 

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead” “You’re already dead.” It seems unbelievable to me this joke hasn’t been played yet 

“We’re not talking about your book. By the book. My book.” I’m going to miss Malcolm Goodwin rolling with every brain swing. He’s exasperated by a brain nearly every week, but this one particularly got under his skin. He tells Liv she’s off the case until she eats a brain tube, but that certainly doesn’t stop her. 

“That was just a love tap!” 

I always feel frustrated when this show uses terribly dated language, like “hooker” and “junkie.” It leaves a bad taste in my mouth. 

“The classic lamp reveal.” Finally, a brain that matches Blaine for his dramatics. 

Don E’s laugh when Peyton starts singing is pure iZombie 

“We’re going to Don E Be Good’s.” “Good’s enough!” Again — so obvious but brilliant. 

Haley’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝🐝

iZombie airs Thursdays at 9/8c on the CW.