#still hating Kan tho

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Silly, some youtuber is praising the heavens for p5d

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahjkWFn6Kns

Ok! *starts video*

*salt in a way I wasn't expecting incoming*

*person puts a heart over Kanji and Naoto literally seconds into the video* *I take it as them being shippy towards then* You know what, nvm their opinion doesn't matter. I think I can close the video!

*pushes forward regardless* *person puts a clip of PQ2 in the middle of his argument that most of the spinoff games don't understand their characters and mess up the characterization and has most of the heavy lifting is done by the original characters, THUS IMPLYING RIGHT NOW that PQ2's characterization writing is on par with Arena/Ultimax/PQ1 fumble* The one good thing about PQ2 (besides FeMC), really? Yes the boot licking is a problem, but everyone is in char.

*Says that P5S's character writing is SOOOOOO good it should basically be considered P5-2 because it's that good* Did everyone just play P5S with their ass? Cause the first dungeon itself (esp with Anne/Ryu) has me wondering if the writers understood at least ONE of P5's characterization of them.

*Says that-that's not the case for the Dancing games* You're pretty right on that (at least with P4D)... Man.... not even 4 min in and made made a number of points/claims you got possibly one good point in (I'm not going to bash P3/5D's characterizations until I've replayed the story part cause I literally forgot it, so I'm giving them that point). *drops video* (tbf fair I have to go to work so I probs won't be on again until lunch at best or the next day at worst. Maybe it gets better, but my first impressions are left to be desired and I don't want to watch something that might tick me off atm, esp if it means seeing more K*nNao)

Sorry for being bitchy (mostly to the person), the person is probably nice and probably makes good points later and everyone else should def watch it too. I'm just annoyed having to see like 3 things in his vid that I highly disagree with so early in the morning (and ones I didn't expect to see opening a P5D video to boot!), extra not in the headspace to listen to that right now. Maybe later, they deserve a fair chance!

[puppy-phum]

Thai BL Favorites List Tag Game

thanks for the tag vi @feralmuskyscentedhoepran​ ♥ tho i still hate you for forcing me to choose between my children smh 

(most of these shows are ones i’ve watched quite recently. i also tried choosing different shows and making this diverse but well, i have my brainrot so. excuse me.) 

favourite bl: vice versa

i know i am very biased when it comes to this but i don’t care. vice versa was the perfect show for me. it’s silly and fun and absolutely bonkers at times. but it’s also sweet and gentle and comforting and so full of meaning i don’t know where to begin. i know it has its flaws but despite them, all i feel is warm while watching it ♥

favourite pairing: patpran

despite failing to separate all the actor/fandom drama from this show and now always feeling this bitter sadness bc of it while watching bb, pat and pran remain one of my forever favourite bl couples. they are perfect in many ways and watching their story filled me with love and joy. i am happy someone like pran has someone like pat to stay beside him. i am happy someone like pat has someone like pran to adore. i am simply happy to know these two fools are together, forever ♥

most underrated actor: sea tawinan

i think both vice versa and 55:15 have shown us how good this boy is at acting. he’s brilliant and will come far once gmm lets him out of the basement. really hoping 2024 gives a lot of new projects for sea so he can test his wings some more. 

favourite character: nuengdiao in never let me go

i know some ppl hated on nuengdiao for acting like he did. and i’m not saying i wasn’t frustrated at times bc of how bratty or impulsive he is, but i also understand why. first of all, he’s horribly young. and secondly, he’s so afraid of love for what it can do. it’s the dilemma in him: to want love so desperately but to fear it bc it can cause pain. watching him overcome this fear and to gain confidence in himself throughout the show filled me with pride. in some sense, he is me, i am him, and we grew up together like this ♥

favourite side character: kan in the eclipse

for what it’s worth, i truly loved the eclipse for its characters. the show might have disappointed me, but it left me with a collection of characters and dynamics i absolutely adore. kan is one of them, probably the most important one. his journey to self acceptance felt personal to me. his pain was my own and his happiness felt ours to share. 

favourite scene: liming with uncle jim

i know this isn’t really a scene related to a bl plot aka this is not a scene between a bl couple. but this one scene is so, so important to me. throughout moonlight chicken, i could relate to liming’s pain a lot. he was struggling to be an independent person while living in the world of adults. he was struggling in a society treating him and others around him as someone different, someone less worthy. he was struggling with his feelings towards his mother who left him but claimed to love him. and he had horrible fights with uncle jim, but then he says it’s easy for him to know he loves him. it’s simple as that. and sometimes i wish it was as simple. maybe one day it will be. maybe one day the love will not feel like a burden. 

favourite line: 

“Something that doesn’t bother me could be someone else’s huge burden. About pain... It’s an absolute thing for a person. It’s not something you can compare. If I feel pain, then it’s pain.” – something i try to tell ppl around me who are struggling and are scared to seek help. something i try to tell myself when i feel like my feelings don’t matter bc someone else has bigger problems. 

“I don’t get why you like me.” – cha siwon is one of those characters i relate to a lot and this question absolutely broke me. i feel it in my soul. it’s something i asked my ex once back when we were still together. what would be the reason for anyone to feel like that about me?

both these lines are from blueming. i cannot choose between them. watching that show is like looking into my own head and that’s why i love many of the lines and dialogues in it. 

most anticipated bl and why: last twilight

everyone and their mother probably knows how insane i am about this show. it’s just so perfect, in so many ways. the setting is interesting, the story seems angsty af while also being extremely gentle, it’s directed by p’aof, it’s jimmysea. it was made for me. i am both overjoyed and terrified to know it will air this year. 

healthiest relationship in a bl: puentalay

listen. i know some ppl keep giving shit to puen for being “manipulative” which absolutely baffles me. but i won’t even try to understand. for me, the relationship between puen and talay is one of the most mature ones i’ve seen in a bl. idk if it’s how the characters are written or if it’s, at least partly, jimmysea’s influence. but either way, there’s this aura of absolute understanding and acceptance in them. their healthiness peaked in their our skyy 2 eps, and the scene where they talk about their love and how it will change as they go on in life is my evidence of this. i want this type of love. i want the love to remain, out of mutual choice. not as something that restricts you but as something that allows you to begin. 

most toxic relationship in a bl: tharntype

i will not talk about this show or pairing but every day i question why i watched any of this and hope i hadn’t, i remain traumatized  

guilty pleasure series: 2moons2

one of my very first bl loves, mostly bc of mingkit played by joong and nine. in some sense, this was my first touch to the world of bl actors too as i followed these two for a while. and now that i see joong again, i always return to this series in my mind. sometimes i go to watch the mingkit focused episode all over again, only to cry at the softness of it once more ♥

bonus! most underrated series: sky in your heart

i still do not understand why this series never gained as much popularity as its sister show did. i think the story was sweet and meaningful, and despite it being similar to the story of 1000 stars, it had its own charm. fah and prince were, comparatively, a very mature couple and their relationship developed accordingly. i wasn’t the biggest fan of the ending and i would’ve loved to see them give prince a bit more as a character, but overall, this show meant a lot to me. it had the same message in it as the vv our skyy 2 eps: love is a place where you can return to by the end of the day, without any demands or conditions. 

thank you for reading this if you did and sorry for taking so much space on your dash :’D i never tire of talking about some of these shows. there would be a lot of other ones to talk about too. but well, maybe next time. 

tagging: @dimpledpran​ @leonpob​ @wanderlust-in-my-soul​ @patspran​ @oswlld​ @namchyoon​ @gabrielokun​ @stormyoceans​ @seanwhites​ @nanons​ @seatawinans​ ♥ no pressure!

[quodekash]

i went to sleep yesterday instead of watching the eclipse episode BUT im here now and ready to suffer in a good way from the beauty that is akkayan

bRO

the parallels in this are crazy

the eclipse is filled with parallels and i love it so much

this is so funny, akk why do you keep saying that, hes gonna keep kissing you-

OHHHH HE KEEPS SAYING IT SO THAT AYE KEEPS KISSING HIM

I love them so much

i love the upside down kisses, it makes me think of the spiderman which makes me think of akk as spiderman which makes me think of how transmascs love spiderman which makes me have trans akk headcanons and ghjbdgfhjb i love it

GUYS YOU COULDVE SLEPT IN AN ACTUAL ROOM TOGETHER

YOU DIDNT NEED TO SLEEP THERE

THE OTHERS DIDNT

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

I LOVE YOU BUT YOURE SO SILLY

HES SO PRETTY HOW IS THIS MAN SO PRETTY

this scene is so funny

none of them even offer an excuse or explanation, they just run

what are namo and wat gonna do in the meantime while the others are doing their work 🤔🤔

HUZZAH I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN

i think we all knew this would happen

WAT YOURE A GENIUS

HE'S MAKING THEM MAKE UP AS CHARACTERS WHICH WILL HOPEFULLY MAKE THEM MAKE UP IN REAL LIFE BC THEIR LINES ARE VALID POINTS

lets give it up for our lord and saviour, wat

pffffft

sorry i know this is an important moment but-

but aye is just so short

and its so funny to me

even tho i know im shorter than khaotung by 16cm

its still funny

"i really want you to see them hug. theyre like two people who truly love each other but believe in different things" GRHJBSGD

i love platonic watsani moments they make me happy

some of my favourite scenes in the actual show are platonic watsani moments

theyre both my favourite characters (only by a little bit tho bc theyre all my favourite characters)

im just terrified of them being coupled together and im so glad theyve kept them entirely platonic and havent changed it at all, cos like for os2 they completely deferred off the seanmaitee train tracks bc winnysatang became a thing, but im glad theyve kept watsani's dynamic exactly the same, it makes me happy

THE TRIO TOGETHER AGAINNNN i missed them

i know theyve been hanging out this whole time but its been ages since weve seen just these three hanging out, their little friend group who've known each other for years, and can read each other inside out

theyve known each other for six years specifically

which is a really freaking long time

thats since they were in... year 6? BRO IMAGINE HOW TINY THEY WERE

AWW

DO YOU SEE NOW

DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY THEIR FRIENDSHIP IS SO BEAUTIFUL

BHBJHVJHVJGV

"i think people hate or are afraid of something because they don't really understand it" KAN SPITTING FACTS

also gotta love the metaphor

look at how pretty this visual is

guess who im adding to my parents-to-destroy list

IM GONNA CRYYYY THEY ALL LOVE EACH OTHER AND COMFORT EACH OTHER AND WAT'S CRYING AND THEIR ARMS ARE AROUND EACH OTHER AND THEIR FRIENDSHIP IS SO BEAUTIFUL ITS KILLING ME

OMG

I KNOW WHATS COMING

THE HATS

THE FLIPIN HATS

IM GONNA HAVE A MENTAL BREAKDOWN ABOUT A COUPLE OF HATS

THEYRE SO CUTE IM NOT OKAY

always, aye

aye, a summary: pretty

THE BIKES THE BIKES THE BIKES THE BIKES THE BIKES THE BIKES THE BIKES THE BIKES THE BIKES THE BIKES THE BIKES THE BIKES THE BIKES THE BIKES

NOW IM HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN ABOUT BIKES

the gender on these two is immaculate

i want their gender please

NOOO THEYRE DOING A NUENGPALM THING

I KNOW THEYLL BE FINE BC THEYRE SOULMATES BUT NOOOO WHYYYY

"your mouth is messy." "your mouth is messy too" "wipe it for me" "with what?" "your mouth." HHHHHHHH

IM SMILING SO HARD I CAN BARELY SEE

LITTLE CHEEK KISS

i think akkayan's cheek kisses will be the end of me one day

there you go, communication, good job, finally

WHY DID YOU GUYS COME TOGETHER, HMMMM??

ZOOM ZOOM

oh you stronzo

he's finished the song, hasnt he

and hes gonna sing it to akk tonight for his birthday

OH NO

POOR NAMOOOO

all good tho, now he can date wat

sorry im being insensitive

i hope he feels better soon

am i crying because of how much i love these two human beings? maybe.

OMG FILM TIME

JGHSDKGEUISJDFGVOIERJDHGOIREJBDL

WAT IS SO FREAKING TALENTED

i find it so funny that theyre all peeing together

also having a wall separating the urinals is so smart why is that not a thing everywhere

ah shoot i ran out of images again, hang on

[bengiyo]

The Eclipse Ep 12 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

So now we've come to the end of the road. I've deeply enjoyed this show and think it's going to be one of my highlights of the year. I really hope they apologize to The World Remembers this episode before we go.

We're only now involving the parents???

Oh, we get to hear the intro one final time!

Akk and Ayan playing out the Kan and Thua content was great.

This committee seems kinda BS. Where are their parents?

Wat set their kiss for the eclipse? The boy has style.

I really like Akk getting emotional and walking off the set. I like the messaging that accepting yourself as queer and facing a world that hates you is not an easy thing. It isn't as easy as BL sometimes makes it out to be.

Sani and Chadok continuing to operate within this system and demand it adjust makes sense as the final act of the older generations.

I'm glad Chadok is choosing to resign, but it's so sad that he's still desperate for validation from this principal.

Akk, Ayan, and Chadok going to the site of Dika's death is making me very emotional.

I'm glad Akk and Thua apologized to The World Remembers. I think it's fine that they didn't really react or say anything. They represent the protest movement, so the show should speak on their forgiveness or refusal.

I love Akk's parents.

Here Ayan go again pushing Akk again. I get it. This boy cannot stay in any kind of closet.

Oh good, we finally let First smile again.

First and Khaotung are so fun to watch when they're being flirty.

Akk is kissing him the way he was taught last episode. I'm going to implode.

Khaotung and First continue to give the gays everything they want.

Back-to-back Thai BLs insisting they go for a second round thos week. Time to blast.skme AC/DC

Akk: "What is this?" Obviously the fucking film! Keep up! Did Ayan lay it down so hard you forgot the plot?

Why the hell is a Namo using a calculator right now????

I really like the messaging that coming out also requires a community to care for and understand you. Coming out alone is so painful.

And now we're singing. At least we stopped Namo from counting.

I wonder if we'll see a Neo and Louis vehicle next year.

I also like them returning to school. They can't just roll over.

Aww, I also like the resolution with the World Remembers being that the best way to mend relationships with them is to join their efforts.

Unsurprisingly, Mes is not doing great post-Suppalo.

I don't know how I feel about Namo becoming a perfect at this point.

Even an olive branch from Teacher Waree. Maybe there is hope.

Boyfriend jackets!

I'm glad we can lay Dika to rest.

Love the pin as a comforting gesture for these two.

Akk has come so far. I've really loved his arc.

WE GOT OUTTAKES!!!

Final Verdict: 9.5 Recommended. I absolutely loved this experience. I deeply enjoyed the way this show challenged its audience to consider the way they even view their shows. I also liked the way this show approached internalized homophobia from so many different angles.

[oscpaistry]

• Silent treatment with Erling •

!warning : cursing, silent treatment, slapping, shouting, angry, emotions!

Erling and you were in a heated argument. You knew that Erling was very angry and when hes angry he will do things. Very bad things. The argument was about how ge came home at 2am. It was just practice. Why did he come back so late?

"ERLING!" you shout when you heard the front door close. You come down to the kitchen see him scrolling through his phone. Not even noticing ghat you were there. "Excuse me?!" You say. Erling's head turning to face yours. "What?" He says with a smile on his face. You roll your eyes at his face and answer "Dont fucking look at me like that Haaland!" His warm smile fading as soon you talked. "Why are you back so late! It was practice day!" You shout. "Thats what i also thought honey. Im sorry. Ill make it up too you!" He says while getting closer to you. "Dont you dare touch me, din jævel!" (you motherfucker!) You say staring into his eyes. "Å jeg kan ikke røre deg? Så ikke snakk sånn til meg! Din jævla kjerring!" (Oh I can't touch you? so don't talk to me like that! You fucking bitch!) He steps back and shouts back. This isnt the first time that he would shout at you.

"WHY DONT YOU ANSWER MY QUESTION! WHY DID YOU COME BACK SO LATE ERLING HAALAND?" Your furious now. "I WENT TO PRACTICE AND THEN WENT TO THE CLUB!" His face getting red from anger. Then he snaps. "PLEASE Y/N! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS MAKE THINGS SO HARD FOR ME? I DONT NEED TO BE AROUND YOU 24/7! I DONT EVEN WANT TO BE AROUND YOU MOST OF THE TIME. GOD. ITS SO HARD TO LOVE YOU! I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT MADE ME FALL INLOVE WITH YOU! YOUR JUST AN OVERPROTECTIVE, STUBBORN AND A BITCH. I HATE YOU!" He shouts and gets closer and closer. He shouts a few things again, but you couldn't focus on him right now. Your thoughts were buried with his words now. You saw him angry a few times but this. This is actually scaring you. You take a few breaths trying to to cry. You take a step back, but he didnt let you. He took your arm. You wont let a man control you tho. You rise your head, chest out, eyes staring into his and swinging your arm to get lose from his touch. But he wont let go. There he goes. He slaps you in the face. It wasnt a little smack. It was a slap that would leave a mark. You shook at his action and stand still. Your eyes still focusing in his eyes. But then they start to tear up. He lets go of you his face softened up. Now he knew he fucked up.

" FUCK OFF ERLING. DONT EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN! GO AND SLAP YOUR OTHER BITCHES BUT NOT ME! GO! " You shout and leave him standing there with his mind confused, angry and lifeless. You go upstairs too your room. You take a pillow and a blanket. You come back downstairs and you throw it infront of Erlings feet. "I don't fucking care what you are going to do now but don't come up to me, talk to me or lay next to me. Leave me the fuck alone now!" You try to shout without your voice cracking, but as hard you tried. It didnt work. He could tell by your face and voice that he actually fucked up.

Your in your room and went to the bathroom. You look into the mirror and see the mark he left. You clean your face and then you break down into tears not because he slapped you. Its because of his words. *Yes, how could anybody love me? Am i that hard to love tho? I actually love Erling. I try my best for him. Im try to impress him and do my best for him. I show my love in all forms.* You thought and started crying loud. You break down to the floor.

Erling could hear you crying upstairs. He was worried si he called and texted you. You didnt answer.

You wanted him to leave you alone but you secretly hoped he would come upstairs and just hug you.

After 20 minutes of crying you stood up and changed from clothes. You changed into some grey sweats and a bra. Your hair in a messy bun. Not caring anymore. You crawled into your bed and opened your phone. *20 missed calls from Erling* *15 un-read messages from Erling. He asked what was wrong and if you were okay. You threw your phone across the room and started crying. Then you feel asleep.

-Next morning-

You wake up with an ache on your face. You slowly got out of bed and went to the bathroom. You looked like a mess. A blue hand mark on your face, eyes swollen from crying yourself to sleep. You took a cold shower to wake you up and try to get rid of your swollen eyes. You wrap your towel around you and chose a simple outfit. Some baggy jeans with a big sweater. You chose your OWN clothes. Not Erling his clothes. You put it on and do your make up. You try ti colour correct the mark he left. The covering it with foundation and some concealer. Then put on some highlighter, contour, blush, mascara and some lashes. You brush your hair and let it air dry. You search for your phone that you threw last night. You look in the mirror one more time and leave your room. You go downstairs and went to the kitchen. "Hey" you hear Erling say. You ignore him. You will give him silent treatment. He deserves it.

The kitchen was a mess. 1 bottle off vodka. The bottle you bought yesterday. It was completely empty. Next to it there stood a shot glass. Erling drank everything. Motherfucker. You made yourself some breakfast. Eggs, toast with avocado, salt and pepper. With a glass of orange juice. You grab your things and went to sit down. You eat while scrolling on your phone. You heard footsteps approach from behind. Erling came in sight and grabbed something. You didnt bother to look what he did. But you felt his eyes burning into you. You just left. Left your food and drink standing there in the kitchen. You went to the living room and propped yourself into the corner of the sofa and watched something in the tv. Erling came back and sat at the opposite side of you. Once again he looks at you. You look back for a few seconds but not saying anything. "Y/n, look im sorry. I shouldn't have lashed out on you like that yesterday. And i will never forgive myself what i did to you." He says while switching his gaze from your eyes to your bruised face. You roll your eyes and look back at the tv. You sit back and try to focus but your mind was still full of the words he said yesterday. You couldn't stop yourself from tearing up. You felt a few tears rolling down you face down your neck. You wipe them fast away and quickly look at Erling to see if he saw you crying. While wiping your tears away, you smear you make up. You smeared the part away were that blue bruise was. Erling heard you breathing quickly. He turned ti see your now smeared and bare face. "Oh god Y/n im so sorry. I didnt think it would bruise. Im so sorry. God." He struggled to get out.

You started to break down and say "i was actually scared off you yesterday. I kinda still am." You looked at his face. Him hearing those words leaving your words made him feel a ache in his chest he never felt in his life. His own partner, scared of him. He never meant to scare her. "You actually hurt me Erling. Physically and mentally. Those words you said yesterday made me feel worthless. I cried myself to sleep. It broke me." You say and try to look at him through your wet eyelashes. He looks at you with a worried face. His eyes trying to focus on you. "Look im sorry that i shouted at you but i was worried sick about you. You came back so late. Probably a little drunk. But im just trying to do my best for you. I love you so much. I would walk through fire for you Erling. You actually mean so much to me. Do you know that?" You say with a little smile on your face. You come closer and lay next to him. "I know that min vakre jente." (my beautiful girl.) "Im so sorry. Ive never meant to scare you. Or hurt you in any shape or form. I love you with all my heart Y/n." He sais kissing your head.

This took me 2 hours to make😦. Tiktok is @virgilcentral Love you guys! Send me some requests!

[colorisbyshe]

Its that time again!!!!!!!!!!! Best music to come out in March PLEEEAAASE

.Sex by Alice Longyu Gao. Experimental as HELL and the experiments pay off. Indie meets drum and bass with some screaming and trance. It's a lot. I love it. One of the rare English tracks on my rec list so like... if youd on't like non-English music relish this while you can

Beat my Face by Rico Nasty. I really like the beat on the track and Rico's aggressive flow really suits its more laid back tempo.

Believing off of Babymetal's new album. I kinda miss their sillier sound but I don't hate that theyre making more serious, urgent music. I chose believing because the chorus sounds a bit like they're interpolating All The Things She Said (they arent but it still sounds like it)! IMO this is a good ~metal album for anyone scared off by how hardcore metal can be and they need something more symphonic

Eat your Young by Hozier. I don't have to describe hozier for y'all... you konw

It's hard to pick a single track off the album but Ebony Eye by Yves Tumor. If you like alt music, this entire album is worth trying out. It's conceptual clarity is a sharp contrast to the diversity of sound you'll get on the album.

Exit by So!yoon!. I was picking off of tracks that came out in March, otherwise i'd shout out Bad, but yeah... this track is dreamy and aching and fully in English despite being by a Korean artist. The vocals have a nice punch while also reverberating through your head and bones.

Fly Girl by Flo. The nostalgic sound keeps developing them and choosing to collab with Missy Elliot really elevates them even further. Sliiick production and vocals

Onew (from Shinee) released a lot of music in both Korean and Japanese. My fave Japanese track is the vibrant Inspiration that highlights how lovely his voice is and as for the Korean song... maybe Paradise?? Or Expectations. There is a WEALTH of great tracks to choose from. If you love good production, listen to this whole album, each track is seamless.

Mugen Loop by Buck Tick feels like a song that plays in a theater as credits roll and you're so emotionally wiped out by the film, you just sit there, taking it in. The echoing guitar and swirling instrumentals make you feel like you are being enveloped by clouds.

Rover by Kai. I don't know if Kai NEEDED to do a reggaeton influenced song but... it's fun. I feel a lil stockholm syndromed into loving hte song and I think some b sides are better (Sinner being the easiest pick) but I can't deny I can't stop listneing

BILLLIE'S ENTIRE ALBUM. Idk how to describe it. Just a girl group working at max power.

Notable tracks but not necessarily my faves:

Underneath My Raincoat by Studio Killers (Poppy, low key)

Fall Out Boy's album happened and I can't say I have a fave that wasn't one fo the lead singles? I need to digest it a bit more but I do really enjoy the title track and the drama of it all.

Kororon by Eve. More poppy Jrock.

Lights out by Sunmi and Be'o. Sweet, simple Kpop. Her voice is BEAUTIFUL and this is so relaxing.

Dumbest Girl Alive by 100 Gecs. Beat does go hard. I cannot lie but also I wanna shout out 757. Fuck the ska based songs on this album tho

Circle by Code Kunst. More just good, simple r&b influenced kpop

Free by Hur. Mostly english Cpop that literally shocked me because it used fuck twice in a single second?? I was like WHAT??? It's kinda generic as a pop song but like in a 2000s way.

"can you help me?" by Can't Swim. 2000s indie rock vibes a la Motion City Soundtrack

Go by Kan Sano. Jazzy japanese music.

the forbidden door by lynch. More japanese metal. It's fucking good, okay.

All Nighter bt Tiesto. Just good dance music.

Bad Intentions by Bayside. More modern (ENGLISH!! SURPRISIGN FOR ME) rock music.

NOT FROM MARCH BUT:

dramatic by mass of the fermenting dregs. band name sounds hardcore but really the song is a soothing balm. music for an indie coming of age movie (but in japanese.)

more japanese music idk why i cahnged gears so hard this month but not enough by rei yasuda. sounds like it could thrive on america radio, tbh

trigun stampede's theme song. it's aping juice wrld SO heavily it kinda makes me uncomfortable but it's good...

the new shakira song is a fucking bop i can't stop listening

sorry this was so long all i did this month was listen to music and laugh about my dead nana

[nyorierd]

24 Maret 2024.

Hello, my dearly Dear. Alyah!

It's been awhile agaknya aku ga bucinin kamu, don't you feel the same or just me? Hehe. I'm sorry, but yes, like I've been said before, aku punya banyak cerita yang mau aku sampaikan ke kamu but we got almost none our time everyday, neither is you are busy or me getting busy too, or just aku yang malah udah hilang moodnya untuk cerita 😓 I'm sorry, and yes honey I notice, even how tired and busy you are, you're still ngeluangin waktu kamu buat aku even tho beberapa kalinya I freaking kinda dry text you pas aku lagi ga di mood yang bagus, sigh.

Honestly, sampe sekarang masih, but I kinda getting used to it? Dan, mau menyesuaikan kembali keseharianku seperti biasa dan ya udalah just gonna put aside this heavy feeling, karena kalo diladenin terus bakal ga kelar-kelar?? Sigh. Yeah, anyway! Dari banyaknya cerita aku yang ingin disampaikan, just story short dulu, aku menghadapi hampirnya krisis identitas belakangan ini, IDK why and how that happen yang bikin nge-triggered hal itu but it just happen anyway, aku ga inget kenapa.

Beberapa waktu lalu selagi hal ini lagi terjadi, aku bersamaan ngalamin pengalaman awikwok bjir momen. There's a few guys yang ke spill suka sama aku, dan aku agak duh.. ada aja deh. Males, cuman mau ga mau aku hadapi kan. I mean they are not mean or anything, malah sebaliknya, they're so gentle, but fucking still I got huge guilty feeling yang membuat aku makin-makin ke triggered agaknya to feel makin jauh dari diri aku. I keep forcing myself to ngehadapin mereka secara baik, ya memang ga ada salah juga mereka-mereka ini. Cuman PR banget lah diluaran hal itu.

Selagi ngadapin cowo-cowo itu, aku juga harus ngejelasin ke temenku kenapa gamau mulai terbuka aja, yang mereka tau kan aku emang ga pernah mau terbuka buat cowo manapun kalo ada yang ngedeketin, even tho aku ngerespon baik but still dry gitu loh bobotnya ga ngasih harapan or anything. Dikelas sempet heboh juga, jadi kek ah anjinglah, ada aja kan gitu.

So however, dari itu yeah, dari matkul kerkom terus, kehebohan itu, temen-temenku, cerita ke ayahku, bagaimanapun tetep harus aku kan yang hadapin, so.. I kinda feel so far from you, even tho kita gada masalah apa-apa, but still always, triggering me even more pas kita LDR begini. My fucking narcissistic mind would never keep shut up to think something bad about us, again the silent battle yang aku harus hadapi. How on earth aku bisa ceritain ke kamu kan secara pas saat itu banget pikiran aku kacau pastinya bakal ngomong yang engga-engga tentang kita.

Aku hampir ga kuat sama LDR ini, cuman apa juga pemicunya? Aku gamau dengan alasan konyol kita pisah padahal ga terjadi apa-apa, itu beneran kayak si Nessa dan Nori kebagi jadi dua orang. I wanted to keep you. Sampe kita ketemu lagi, having our time again. Just to be stuck by you. I feel huge guilty selagi aku ngehadapi hal-hal itu, I even think maybe I'm not fully into girls, but bi, stuff like that it's just hurting my ego even more, you know how much I hated guys and would never ever have a thoughts of dating them even once. But that time aku kaget sendiri sempet terbesit hal tadi, "maybe i'm not fully into girls?"

Fucking stupid. I face that question everyday, but to just keep feel stupid afterwards and suck a jerk. I have you in my heart but the minds would never keep shut up. I still think about you though, dan pas itu terjadi I would just spice things up in my head, to keep you still with me. Bisa dibilang ya, itu titik terlemah aku juga to keep you in my mind, karena ga biasanya dan what the fuck moment banget lah.

Aku gabisa ajak kerjasama diriku, so thats what I've been working on with myself. Dan yes, kayak yang aku bilang, aku ga bisa bilang ini ke siapa-siapa kan, cerita tentang hal ini ke siapa? Even though sama Gita or anak GM lainnya aku seterbuka itu dan mereka juga tau tentang kamu bahkan ayahku juga, but they never actually know that you are my girlfriend right.

Sebagai pengakuan lagi, aku emang selalu capek buat keep my mouth shut to not talking excitedly with sparkle love in my eyes when i'm talking about you to them. Dan juga keadaan-keadaan kayak gini, ketika ada yang suka sama aku juga, I can't just say that I have a girlfriend right, kamu pun pasti paham. But damn, this is our situation. Kadang aku berpikir, kita yang punya hubungan ini, tapi yang capek apa aku doang? Can I ask you that, can I keep you as long as I want? What the world would say to us, to the love that we have for each other.

Agak miris emang, but damn, aku selalu sedih kalo mikirin tentang kita. Dan agaknya itu juga membuat aku takut kehilangan kamu even though you would say, kamu gak akan kemana-kemana and this are just my heavy thoughts. But no.. aku beneran ngerasa begitu. Entah sama-sama perempuan jadi buat kita bingung akan mood dan perasaan ego masing-masing, but I fucking easily get jealous over your friends secretly, aku cuman gamau bilang atau ngungkapin lebih jauh because it would be stupid.. right.

I get worry like a guy who's have jerk and insecure personalities. But I also gamau disamain akan hal itu, that's why I would just keep silent and be who you are out there yang ga bisa aku pantau juga kan. I would just to keep praying for you safety and goodness upon you all the time, Lyaa.

I really love you, until the point I'm kinda hurt by the truth about us. I really love you, until the point I will always cry when you get back far away from me. I really love you, until the point I will always try so hard to keep you in my mind. I really love you, until the point I will try hard not to burden you by my clingy-ness. I just really love you. Loving you once might feels wrong, but I need you more than I can imagine.

[day-dreams22]

So, I decided to rewatch "How To Get Away With Murder" after a LONG long time of not watching it or anything related to it, and it was my idea to give a very brief review of each season as I did it. I forgot to do it for season 1, so now that I finished season 2, you get two at the same time:

Season 1: I remembered almost everything, I had completely forgotten about Kan tho. I still hated the relationship between Laurel and Frank :) I really really really don't like him, so sorry if you do. Viola is so amazing in the role of Annalise, I geniunly can not imagine anyone else. Everyone else is great too.

Season 2: I think this is the case (Hapstall) that I remembered the least about, don't really know why. Frank and Laurel still going...gross. Asher begins to be less anoying and more considerate with everyone around him, I like that. EVE, oh I love Eve, marry me please. Also, and the most important thing here, I has fully forgotten that the whole storyline about Wes/Christopher backstory happenned this season; in my mind it was a season 3 thing, but I still remembered the story itself. And also, do we ever find out anything else about Caleb?? Because right now I can't remember and I'm minutes into season 3 and it doesn't seem to be something important so is he just...dead? Idk

That's it so far, stay tuned for the rest if you are interested :)

[beybella09]

SkinJourBey #1

Dealing with hormonal acne, and always been insecure about acne scars.

Unspoken words, and feeling worthless all the time.

Agak nervous juga buat share ini (never imagine that I'll share it tho) and I didn't do proper documentary when I'm struggling in my worst condition, because I really hate my appearance at that time (crying over these, even I hate to look myself in the mirror, taking a pictures, etc)

It's a long to go journey,

But here I am, suffered with acne for a long time, and it’s always a part of me🤍 still learn that I'm so much more than my skin, or my looks, and really wanna try to never hide it anymore, just need a little bit time (to grow the confidence with patience) to start embrace all of these beauty marks on me alias maju sini jerawat🔪

Masih keinget waktu bangun tidur, udah banyak darah kering dari jerawat yang pecah bahkan sampe ke bantal tidur💁🏻‍♀ beberapa waktu belakangan malah banyak banget foto di galeri, tujuannya cuma buat liat progress dari usaha-usaha yang lagi dilakuin, biarpun keong banget juga progressnya😀☝🏼

Belum lagi jadi lebih sensitive sama kalimat pujian, i just.. feel like I'm never be gonna enough buat diri sendiri, apalagi orang lain, padahal harusnya nggak perlu validasi dari siapapun soal ini, cuma perlu sadar buat lebih ngehargain diri sendiri. Udah banyak usaha yang dicoba juga kok, Bey🤗

Gapapa ya, still have a long way to go, but I'm so grateful that I've come this far, masyaaAllah.

Baru scroll handphone, ternyata di galeri ada 500++ isi foto di folder khusus progress jerawat doang, padahal foto di folder lain juga jerawatnya kan nggak pergi dulu ya😃

But let me drop sedikit kompilasi foto without filter 🦀

- dominan foto diambil pas lagi pake acne spot treatment, ngerasa sedikit lucu karena kebayang bocil cemong yang abis dimandiin mamanya😂

- waktu lagi bersihin muka pake kapas malah pecah jerawat, dahlah💁🏻‍♀

- ada yang diambil waktu lagi nge-zoom kuliah

- di mobil waktu nemenin papa ke bengkel

- plus ada yang lagi dibonceng abang gojek pas jalan pulang abis nonton bareng buzz, baru sadar selama jalan pake acne patch lol, ntah udah segimana banyak ke absorb deh itu isi jerawat, sampe warna acne patch dari yang harusnya bening malah jadi keruh 😃

Semua foto di atas bukan kondisi terparah, yang ada di foto ini nggak seberapa, malah bisa dibilang much better lah, lebih banyak yang diambil waktu sebelum + baru bangun tidur jadi udah pasti nggak kerudungan buat liat progressnya, so I can't and won't upload it biarpun di platform ini yang notabene buat dibaca diri sendiri.

[ao3feed-bnha-rarepair]

A White Butterfly

A White Butterfly by KitsunZae

White butterflies can often be a simple message of comfort to someone, particularly if they're mourning.

Words: 1132, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M

Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Kan Sekijirou | Vlad King, Nedzu, Bakugou Katsuki, Class 1-A, Class 1-B, Mineta Minoru, Midoriya Inko, Kodai Yui, Uraraka Ochako, Tokage Setsuna, Kaibara Sen, Kamihara Shinya | Edgeshot, Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Shiozaki Ibara, Yanagi Reiko

Relationships: Kodai Yui/Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Inko & Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku & Tokage Setsuna, Midoriya Izuku & Yanagi Reiko, Midoriya Izuku & Shiozaki Ibara, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added

Additional Tags: Midoriya Izuku Has a Quirk, Midoriya Izuku Does Not Have One for All Quirk, Midoriya Izuku Has a Fire Quirk, Midoriya izuku has a ice quirk, Midoriya Izuku has Half-Cold Half-Hot, sorta, Mineta Minoru is Expelled from U.A. High School, Mineta Minoru is a Decent Human Being, That will make sense later, Midoriya Izuku Hates Yagi Toshinori | All Might, still respects him as a hero tho, just hates him as a person, Midoriya Izuku is in Class 1-B, Monoma Neito is in Class 1-A, Overpowered Midoriya Izuku, semi???, like he's skilled but he ain't ail powerful, Selectively Mute Midoriya Izuku, Out of Character Midoriya Izuku, sorta?, he's just extremely quiet and just prefers not to talk, others wise he's still the same, Shiozaki Ibara has One For All, Trust me on that one, Midoriya Izuku Has a Twin, had really, i won't be elaborating, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44001385

[ao3feed-bnha-girls]

A White Butterfly

A White Butterfly by KitsunZae

White butterflies can often be a simple message of comfort to someone, particularly if they're mourning.

Words: 1132, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M

Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Kan Sekijirou | Vlad King, Nedzu, Bakugou Katsuki, Class 1-A, Class 1-B, Mineta Minoru, Midoriya Inko, Kodai Yui, Uraraka Ochako, Tokage Setsuna, Kaibara Sen, Kamihara Shinya | Edgeshot, Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Shiozaki Ibara, Yanagi Reiko

Relationships: Kodai Yui/Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Inko & Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku & Tokage Setsuna, Midoriya Izuku & Yanagi Reiko, Midoriya Izuku & Shiozaki Ibara, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added

Additional Tags: Midoriya Izuku Has a Quirk, Midoriya Izuku Does Not Have One for All Quirk, Midoriya Izuku Has a Fire Quirk, Midoriya izuku has a ice quirk, Midoriya Izuku has Half-Cold Half-Hot, sorta, Mineta Minoru is Expelled from U.A. High School, Mineta Minoru is a Decent Human Being, That will make sense later, Midoriya Izuku Hates Yagi Toshinori | All Might, still respects him as a hero tho, just hates him as a person, Midoriya Izuku is in Class 1-B, Monoma Neito is in Class 1-A, Overpowered Midoriya Izuku, semi???, Selectively Mute Midoriya Izuku, Out of Character Midoriya Izuku, sorta?, he's just extremely quiet and just prefers not to talk, others wise he's still the same, Shiozaki Ibara has One For All, Trust me on that one, Midoriya Izuku Has a Twin, had really, i won't be elaborating, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44001385

[snailsweater]

The hedgehogs were a lesson from Kan for Vegas.

Look, Kan, the guy who literally beats his kids, would NEVER give Vegas, who he doesn't even really recognize as a son, anything just to do something good for him. Vegas didn't have a job with the hedgehogs. Unlike dogs, he can't train them to attack or anything like that. Hedgehogs serve no purpose for the mafia.

So why did Kan give Vegas the hedgehogs?

Sadly, it is easy to tell:

To make him realize in the most brutal way that Vegas will always be alone.

Imagine: Vegas, who has watched his animals die all these years. He was forced to remain cold every time. No emotion to show. No attachment.

By Kan giving him the hedgehogs, in his own sick way, he was pretending to Vegas that he was giving his son something to be with, to take care of (why Kinn and Vegas are both just the greatest caretakers I'll explain another time). He has thus given Vegas something that doesn't see him as a mafia, in front of whom he doesn't have to be strong or meet expectations. But Hedgehogs have an incredibly short lifespan. And Kan knew that every goddamn time.

He's given Vegas something to bind himself to, only to have it snatched from him again and again. Vegas is someone who, deep down, is just looking for someone to be with him. He is desperately reaching out for something to hold onto. He had no choice but to develop an attachment to the hedgehogs. But they die. Vegas watches them all die. Kan gives him new ones each time, to further inculcate in him the lesson that he should never have feelings or attachment for anything against. That everything he loves will end up dead.

But then now the beautiful question arises: What if he finds out that Vegas has attached himself to something that can't be killed so quickly?

[tiniest-hands-in-all-the-land]

This is probably a dumb as hell question in this day and age, but how much OC-inclusion can a fic have before it drives away readers?

[wataeichis]

*sits down in your inbox* hi can i hear your hcs about the 5 eccentrics as individuals + as a group bc the tags of that rb interested me

pls

hi this took a bit to answer bc i spent forever trying to come up with these im kinda bad at hcs but i hope theyre still to ur liking! it did get kind of long though oops.....

alsooo cw addiction, light mentions of an eating disorder, and general mental illness things because these are not all super light hearted

rei - okay starting off with what I mentioned in the tags but I think he may have old addiction issues from before 3rd year and maybe before from being in a very stressful situation (kind of his whole life rlly being a head of like 2 cults but the war def amplified his stress), the Mental Illness(tm), and often being in bar scenes to perform idk what kind but! he’s probably over them now and he doesn’t like his friends talking about drinking or inviting him out bc bad feelings

- after the effects of the war he pulls away from all of his friends that’s like. canon but during !! i like to think he gets closer with people again slowly (mainly bc of kaoru helping him open up but that’s a rant for another time), and he sometimes uses his friends as pillows </3 it’s his way of showing he trusts them

- he still hangs out in graveyards bc he’s a weirdo /affectionate he’ll go there and pay respects and care for graves that seem to be abandoned and then read quietly if no one’s around so that the dead doesn’t feel lonely

- not cis at all but he doesn’t care for gender he just likes being cute sometimes and edgy other times (an old vampire like him can’t be bothered with modern gender norms /j)

- he’s such a nerd he can tell you about the entire chronological history of any country or generally any school subject but if his phone dies he’s crying to kaoru that he doesn’t know how to turn it back on…… he knows so many things but also!!!! nothing

shu

- he finds swearing unsightly but he also knows a lot of French swear words that he uses and no one catches him on it

- not necessarily shu but madonee likes sharing shus secrets because she loves the drama

- he keeps detailed teacups and fancy tea sets in the handicraft room bc even tho he hates guests he LOVES to show hospitality and will only have the best for his guests

- he sleeps in one of those dreamy canopy princess beds

- i have a shuP friend who feeds me lore and it seems like madonee is implied to be an introject of kuros mother (from before she died) and I feel like sharing that in case you didn’t know!

- i like to think he likes taking care of people a lot in !! and maybe it’s meant to be atonement for how he was in the past or perhaps it’s just the mothering side of him he picked up on from kuros mom (before the war and madonee even) and so when his close ones are upset he likes to be the first to be there to support them and make sure they’re well

kanata

- im. torn because i think he’s autistic but one of my special interests is psychology and i know that he’s probably just like that because of a severe lack of socialization and stunted social development and all of his specific trauma but also. immediately after i got into enstars I was like wow!! hes like me!! so do with this information as you will

- he likes mothering not just humans but (non land) animals so even if he doesn’t enjoy his family he enjoys working at the aquarium for the animals and he sometimes babysits shinobus frogs but with humans even he likes mothering and taking care of his juniors as much as he can, when people joke he’s like chiakis wife he doesn’t mind it at all

- he’s very touch starved and loves hugs from his friends randomly or cuddling (his dorm is all bestys and they platonically cuddle just bc they all need a little extra love </3)

- he wants to be close with madara again but he doesn’t know how to (and he’s a little scared of being hurt/mama leaving again) so he tends to just push mama away but sometimes, mama comes to him injured and knows kanata will take care of them. they never talk about those moments but kanata appreciates the trust mama puts in him

- he likes sugar a lot he never got it growing up and now he just has stashes of sugary treats

- chiakis parents love him he makes their son so happy (in a ship or non-ship way either works) and even if at first it was. hard to get used to the “hey my besty is a ex cult leader who doesn’t know how to be human” they love him and want to smother him in parental affection

wataru

- i think it’s implied in some stories ? but if not i like the idea that he’s from america (or some other english country) he probably wasn’t actually found in a river like he says just. hiding the fact that he was from an orphanage but i think he started trying to become an idol not just because of “genius from birth” like some others but more. because he wanted to prove he was worth something and wouldnt be tossed to the side

- he likes wearing his friends clothes (he steals all of eichis sweaters mostly) because they make him feel loved and wanted for more than just his skills as a performer

- i wrote a fic about this once based on some vague references in stories but he? just doesn’t eat and im fairly certain it’s not an eating disorder i think he views life as his stage as a performer and eating during the “performance” isn’t allowed but the exceptions tend to be a) his day off! a boy needs to rest and he’ll happily eat with fine on eichi day no problem and b) if someone offers him food, he can’t say no, because it’s the script for this play (life. the play is life dude u have issues)

- i think he’d find dancing relaxing like ballet or ballroom dance he finds it a nice way to ease his stress especially if he gets to be near someone he trusts (and he doesn’t trust a lot of people)

- he has joint/muscle pain constantly u can’t take this hc away from me he’s overworking himself and constantly in plays/performing on stage there’s no way he’s always in peak physical condition (ignoring how he can dislocate his own joints. u good dude?)

- he likes collecting weird things like plants and books he probably won’t ever read and ugly shirts that he won’t wear in public and idol merch of his friends bc he’s horrible with his money and theoretically eichi would buy him literally anything but he feels baaaaad and wants to earn things himself

- gender doesn’t exist! wataru does not need a gender his gender is [          ]

natsume

- the trans guy of all time (not even inspired by his backstory of dressing like a girl I know why that was but I think he’s still just so very trans regardless of that)

- he’s. a very sad individual i would think he likes to push away his emotions as a defense mechanism but he needs a hug

- wannabe emo he constantly has accessory chains jingling with every step bc edgy

- he’s probably got a caffeine addiction and I don’t mean that in the quirky way I mean he’s like. nocturnal stays up all night doing witchy stuff but is still expected to go to school in the morning

- his parents have issues but that’s not what this is about but i think he’s very attached to them especially his mom that’s like canon but sometimes if the stress of his life is building up he’ll go stay with them for a weekend instead of the dorms just

- his wiki lists that he likes piercings but he. doesn’t have any i think he’s afraid of needles so he likes to give piercings to other ppl instead because he would probably faint if you even implied the idea of him getting a piercing

as a group!

- okay so I said some stuff abt a few individuals but none of them are cis actually. this is up to interpretation but none of them are

- bi-weekly outings to cafes (shu joins via video call if he’s not in japan)

- it’s. a little rough after the war can’t sugar coat things rei hardly lets anyone close to him and they all collectively stopped trusting wataru (im eternally left trying to figure out how the heck he went from being enemies with them to friends again in like. a month) but they’re getting better!

- emotional support system! they all love and care for each other deeply (platonically, imo) and it’s hard with them all being So Very Mentally Ill(tm) but they try their best to be there to support each other

- eichi is definitely a sensitive topic. wataru loves him and dislikes negative talk of eichi in his presence, rei and kanata are neutral (as of !! more so for rei), natsume and shu despise him…. makes it tricky to get along sometimes!

- they play card games together, bc most of them don’t know how to use a phone properly im not sure if this is quite what u wanted but i hope u enjoy nonetheless !! also. i very much hope that the read more works... i, like the oddballs, am horrible with technology!

[luminouslindor]

ok so i’m doing another liv and maddie binge since it’s my comfort show no i will not be taking criticism so here are some headcanons/ships/random things

Liv x Kathy Kan

Bi Parker

Josh x Holden they have few interactions but they’re all so cute and wholesome

Liv and Holden are so cute tho

Liv playing matchmaker (this is canon but i wish we couldve seen more of this)

Joey x Josh they’re so wholesome and like “making friends is hard for me, but with josh, it was easy” and just ugh they’re so cute

I love Mosh though

Pan Liv

Oh Artie x Joey (they adopt cats togetehr)

Omg Artie and Liv’s interactions when Artie’s being decent are amazing i need more of it he’s so funny

Bi Joey

screw it everyone is gay tm

Artie being a decent human supremecy

Parker and Val are adorable

Spot x Reggie

Parker hates toxic masculinity (lowkey canon)

Arthur’s minion 1 x Arthur’s minion 2 (the ones that go to Cali with him

gay finch

josh and holden bonding over being a rooney twin’s ex and becoming better friends and then falling in love i love jolden sm pls (this is kind of a crack ship but also not)

trans evan

karen and dena got huge inheritances (from somewhere idk their mom is still alive idk how wills work) that’s how they both have really nice houses

Andie x Liv

omg all of the members of the dream is queer??? like for sure

[puppy-phum]

Hey there, for the ask game I’d love to know anything you’d like to share about your Liu Sang fic.

hello momo ^^ thank you so much for asking!

i have talked about my liu sang fic previously too bc when it comes to that fic, it seems am all talk and no action. but here are a couple of things:

it is supposed to be a rewriting of reboot plus some events that happen after it bc i wanted to look at certain situations through liu sang instead of through wu xie

there's a lot of exploration of liu sang with various characters. i already mentioned bai haotian, pingxie and pangzi but i would also love to include kan jian, li jiale and jia kezi as well as hei xiazi and huo daofu. am so curious about what type of things i could pull out of liu sang when it comes to all these various dynamics

i am still mainly focused on bai haotian bc i love the parallels between her and liu sang. they are both second (third? fourth??) generation tomb robbers (kind of) and idolize different ppl of the iron triangle. liu sang gets accepted in very slowly bc he doesn't really want to be there for anyone but his idol and has to understand that it's just not the way that works. bai haotian gets pulled in in a way she doesn't want (as a sister instead of wu xie's romantic interest lol). both of them have huge crushes on their idols tho i think liu sang has grown over his more than bai haotian has hers. i know they could bond over a lot of things (and am sad that reboot never really shows us this when bonding obviously happens between them throughout the events)

all of this began bc of the hearing sacrifice scene. i will never get over the way liu sang collapses onto wu xie and looks up to him with wide eyes. i think that was the moment he accepted that he was going to be in love with wu xie just like the rest of the crew (and yeah no, this is not a shippy fic, i just like exploring liu sang's feelings towards pingxie bc how interesting is that, him hating wu xie and coming to love him half bc he witnesses his idol loving him so much?)

i want to right the wrong of reboot leaving liu sang out of the last celebration! not by including him there bc i kind of... accepted that he wouldn't be there? but by bringing him back a bit later bc he instinctively misses these ppl despite everything. i have this image stuck in my head of him getting to wushanju, not having the courage to go in but sticking close by and xiaoge showing up and telling liu sang that he should go in. why, liu sang questions. bc wu xie misses you, is xiaoge's answer. liu sang might or might not be feeling a lot after that

also ah i wanted the post reboot part to include liu sang adopting a stray cat! and him doing some self-introspection through that cat. maybe he would accept his loneliness and it would lead to him returning to wushanju. also i just wanted to see him with a cat and possibly see him and xiaoge together with that cat idk am just very soft for my cat boys lol

ok sorry that was a lot of blabbering :'D i hope you enjoyed tho? have a wonderful day ^^