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letfatewritethewords · 3 years

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I process things with art. I process with written words in the hopes that one day it can be spoken without my voice shaking. This week has been one for the books.. and I decided to share. This is long, but I want to remember what I’m learning.. how I’m processing.. if you decide to read, thank you. If not, this will still be here as a reminder of my progress every year.

I always tell people that there was no reason for my name, but it’s a lie. I’m named after Samantha on BeWitched. My grandfather loved that show and suggested it when my mother couldn’t decide. I was born in early September and that makes me a Virgo. Astrology is one of my favorite things. There’s something extraordinary about the idea that we’re connected to the universe by the positioning of the stars. Sometimes it’s so vague.. but other times, it’s right on the nose and my horoscopes will make me cry. Speaking of that, I’m an empath and a 2. When I’m unhealthy, I’m a 4 and If you know what any of that means, I’d love to talk to you more about it. Winter is my favorite season. Fall is a close second. I love the snow and how muted everything is. I like the quiet, the beauty. Sometimes, the light from the sun will shimmer off a fresh coat of snow on the ground. It is absolutely blinding, but I’d still stare, and when the snow fell at night, I’d watch it under the street light across from my house and it felt like time stood still. When I was little, I would lay in the yard full of snow, alone, in my puffy suite, until my fingers and toes would go numb from the cold, listening to the silence, but the best part of those days was going back into my grandparents house and warming up with hot coco made on the stove, wrapping myself in a soft blanket and watching old movies with my grandfather. To me, the Winter is magical. My love languages are Quality Time and Acts of Service. I’m an introvert but I love people. I like to observe, I like to really understand how the mind works and Im eager to help. I thrive in controlled chaos. I like puzzles, I love music, I like crafts, I like to fix things because grandpa always taught me that nothing is to broken to fix. Nothing. No one.

This is the light. This is the part of me that I give willingly to anyone I meet. I wear it on my sleeve. It’s only the light. Until the last 2 years.. this was all I could give of myself because I’ve always been scared of the dark.

The darkest part of me lasted 8 years, my rock bottom lasted 4.5, but as a whole it’s taken up almost 12 years of my life. Sometimes I worry that all I'm ever going to be is this thing that happened to me. That this will define me for the rest of my life and I need to remind myself that I’m a person that can live separate from an event.

I went to the police station this week, I filled out more forms. I’ve filled out so many forms over the last 2 years. For an emergency restraining order this time. For Florida this time. I knew it would eventually follow me here but typhus felt too soon. The clerk called me brave. I smile and thank them every time but I never know how to respond to that. She has no idea how weak it feels and I mean.. how could she. This is the right choice, the obvious choice, the smart choice. In a different situation, it’s one of the many steps I’d be urging someone else to take. In all the chaos, all the hurt, in all the anger and sadness.. it always circles back to “I loved him”. I did. I wanted to fix him. I wanted to see him grow and heal and if I loved him hard enough for the both of us, it would’ve evened out eventually… right?

I failed.

He was always who he was, but I was young and naive and ready to fix the whole world. When I was 18 and we were free, I would’ve told you he saved me. Now that I’m in my 30’s… and he’s in prison and I’m in limbo.. I don’t know what I’d tell you. He didn’t save me, but he didn’t destroy me either. I had every opportunity to tap out and give up.. but I grew into a person I might not have been if I never met him.

Am I angry? All of the time.

Am I scared? Yes.

I see things more clearly now though. People talk about how you never know someone’s story, and that’s because we are experts at playing pretend like we have it all figured out until we’re alone and have to face truest selves. The facade is the hardest thing to give up. Some people saw through mine and there are others, who have built their own, that never will. I share posts about what I’ve learned, how I see people, how I’ve try to treat people with grace and teach children with love and patience in hopes that a little of that sinks into whoever it reaches, but I very rarely show the journey. Partly because I know the details are gruesome and that’s not for everyone, but mostly because I’m scared.

How will you see me?

What will you think?

I’m learning that I’m not this big awful thing that happened to me. I was never anyone’s property and I’m not chained to it anymore. I was very much lied to and manipulated and hurt long enough that it flipped onto me and I carried it without missing a step. I wanted to love him so much that I would heal him. Instead, he “loved” me so much it almost killed me, and he did call it love. Enough times that he re-defined it and I didn’t use that word for a very long time in any meaningful situation. He, for better or for worse, drastically changed the trajectory of my life.

But it’s ok.

I’m wounded but I’m healing. I’m lonely, but I’m learning how to slowly welcome more people in and step out of my comfort zone. If I’m being honest, I’m relearning a lot of things, including how to exist in a world where I have room to make mistakes and fail. I can say or do the wrong thing and be gently corrected for it by my people and move on … sans violence. There are no words for amount of relief I feel because of that truth.

Is it over? No.

He was sentenced to 7 years last year and every year around mid July early August there is an opportunity to apply for an appeal based on his behavior, which will always be immaculate because he is not as tough as he thinks he is. This means that if he applies and it goes to trial, I’m also notified and have to reappear, show any new evidence, and reexplain why he needs to stay there for the safety of others and myself. Telling my story once a year on a whim to a room full of strangers, always men, so they can decide my fate, as well as the fate of this “upstanding young man with a good head on his shoulders” (actual words used during my initial rape/domestic abuse trial against him), was never what I imagined finally turning him in would look like. I really never thought that after everything, his sentence wouldn’t even be as long as our relationship. The original sentence was 5 years. After he got out on a Governor Cuomo Covid related prison loophole and broke his parole almost immediately, he was sentenced to another 2 on top of that. He has 6 left. We talk about how flawed our system is, but really seeing it is a different kind of punch. Women aren’t believed. There’s a reason so many of these crimes go unreported, and why so many women die at the hands of angry men. The hoops you have to jump through are miles high and on fire, and when you and the advocate show up armed only with your truth, your tears and a little evidence from one night at a bar when he got to drunk and forgot he was in public, it’s very easy for a judge to rule on the softer side. Because, as you all know, we’d never want to ruin a wealthy mans life unless there’s cold, hard, reason to.

Seeing his face when they read out his sentence, after years of terror, was satisfying to say the least and if I hadn’t been so numb to get through the hearing, I would’ve enjoyed it more. I will never forget going to a trusted friends house after that hearing and being completely overwhelmed with all of the emotions. Relief, guilt, sadness, anger, happiness, fear.. so many I couldn’t express.. all at once because the novocain wears off and numb isn’t forever and I fell asleep with their dog after a lot of crying. I’d be lying though if I said that 18 year old in me didn’t feel a loss. I grew up with incredible grandparents that did amazing things in teaching me how to love people and be a good human, but no one can protect us from everything. I also grew up with a mother who fights demons of her own and never had the capacity to love two kids. In a situation like that, someone becomes the punching bag. I became the punching bag and desperately looked for ways out, an opportunity to run.. and I ran right into him, who accepted me with open arms for the first time in my young, very inexperienced life.. and I followed him blindly and he was my whole world. Until I was 27, I didn’t have a guide. By the grace of God I landed into a community in Florida that slowly helped me realize my worth.

So.. what now.

How do we fix what our parents and past broke?

How do you reparent yourself?

The mental health journey is proving to be my biggest struggle yet. There’s no more outside factors, it’s just me and the lies that have fed me for years and altered how I think and feel and understand the world. I can feel myself frustrating people I’ve let close to me. I feel myself getting nervous and pushing people away. Sometimes I can catch it and regroup, other times that nasty little voice is too loud and I’m exhausted. My goodness though, how cool is it to learn so much about yourself? I know I have the capacity to love that broken part of me eventually, but it’s still hard to face. Getting to learn and understand the reason behind your actions is terrifyingly amazing. I am proud of this journey. Even when I don’t always come up on top. It’s hard to see the progress while you’re in it, but laying it all out like this.. I can safely say I’m never going to be that 18 year old girl ever again. Some days this journey looks different, some days the darkness wins, because healing isn’t linear. Sometimes it’s one step forward, 2 steps back… but nothing is too broken to fix.. and I will never call that darkness home again.

#lonliness #abuse survivor #survivor #domestic violent relationships #domestic violence #processing

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imagine-writing-rainbow · 5 years

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War: Alliance (2/4) King Orm/Reader

Word Count: 1209

Lost of exposition, but Orm is in this one. Yay! Thank you for reading.

Trigger Warnings: War, Tragedy [Don’t wanna spoil]

Then sun has risen and set many times since the sparkling pool bore its grim warning. And as it were, the sun would set again with war no nearer than it was yesterday, but unease weighs down on your soul; the deities were never wrong.

It near midday, and the streets are full and busy with people preparing for The Festival Of Stars.

You maneuver through the town square, hoping to find something simple, but well-formed. Though you can only seem to find the most flashy of garments left behind.

A clothing stand, a little ways back behind all the excitement, captures your attention. The owner is busy sewing more garments to sell during the festival.

You browse through fine pieces, searching for a exquisite outfit to wear to The Festival Of Stars. You prick yourself on a pin still stuck in a fine black tunic that caught your eye.

You yelp in pain, but the idea hurts more than the wound. The woman behind the stall looks up from the sewing machine, eyes wide with worry. She reaches over and snatches up the garment, searching for anymore dastardly pins. She bows her head, “My liege, I am so sorry”

“It's just a pin prick,”

“But, My liege-”

You smile at her concern, but wave it away just the same, “How much for the tunic.”

The Festival Of Stars is held on the highest hill overlooking the kingdom. It begins at dusk and continues well into the night. The sun has dipped below the horizon and the stars have begun to sparkle into existence as you make your way through the shop stalls.

The smell of festival food and wood fire fills the air. You think of your youth. It wasn’t much of a childhood you suppose. Most kids don’t learn war strategy and negotiation tactics, but you learned them for a reason. You wonder if the sparkling pool could have been wrong, maybe it was confused. Was war really coming? You shake those thoughts out of your head, to doubt the deities now would be a mistake.

Your stomachs grumble brings you from your thought, perhaps it was time for dinner and a show.

The stars are shining bright and the sky has turned the deep purple of night. Many stall owners with children have begun to head home.

A young boy and his mother pack away a stall full of intricately embroidered dolls. You remember these dolls; each one is handmade and no bigger than a woman’s palm; not a single one is the same. You had quite a few when you were younger; even one that was made to look like you.

“Hello, My liege” The stall owner says, “See any dolls you like.”

“Oh, I’m much too old for dolls” You say.

The young boy stops packing and holds a doll up for you to see. The stitch work is messy, but done with love. “I made him myself,” he says, a big smile spreads across his face, he’s missing a tooth toward the back of his mouth: he’s absolutely adorable.

“He’s a brave warrior” The young boy says, “like you.”

“Is he now?” You ask.

“Yeah, mom says he’ll protect me, just like you protect the kingdom” The young boy beams.

The stall owner has packed away the last doll and is ready to leave. It would not be easy getting through the festival-goers after the party had begun and nearly all the children had been taken home too. The young boy shares with you one last beaming smile and then waves goodbye.

Though turmoil has coiled around your gut and refuses to let go, the warmness of love reminds you to enjoy the festival

The crisp chill of night has set, the stars glimmer like diamonds around a bright full moon.

In this moment, all is peaceful.

In the next, a whistling fills the air, high and shrieking. It grows louder and louder, closer and closer.

You don't quite wake up, so much as float just within consciousness. You're too knocked out of your body and far away to actually consider yourself awake.

“My liege,” Priestess Hera calls for you, she sounds so far away, “My liege, please!”

All at once, the world snaps back into place. You're off your back and on your feet, running out into the city before the nurses can catch up.

Your hurt thunders in your chest and in your ears. You stumble some, your head spins, you keep running.

The streets are empty, rubble and broken shop carts lay in pieces like broken bones. Your legs take you faster before your brain registers it. Buildings lay collapsed where they once stood tall, you come to a halt. Your body screaming.

You find yourself in a familiar place: the market square. Charred fabrics blow across the sand like weeds. On the ground near the rubble of a fallen tenement, you pick up a hand-sewn doll.

Your legs give out beneath you, spilling you across the sand and debris. You brush the matted yarn hair from his face. A wet sob escapes you, a few tears wet the warrior dolls armour. The bomb blasted has burnt away his smile.

The Atlantean king shows up a couple weeks after the bombing. Walks out of the ocean, fantastical armour glinting in the sun. Behind him a big ship surfaces, within it an army.

The castle has survived unscathed, it had been built to withstand. Many people were left without homes, they now refuge in the castle halls. Even your office is occupied, so you speak with the King Orm in your bedroom.

“Why would the humans want war with us” You ask, more to the deities than the king beside you, “They shouldn’t even know we exist”

You will yourself not to break down. To look weak in front of the King would bring shame to your people—more shame than the failure which already laid heavy on your shoulders.

“Why wasn’t I prepared?” You whisper, then, as if you had remembered your audience, you ask, “Was Atlantis attacked as well?”

“One of our cities was hit,” King Orm says, there’s a bitterness to his voice. Though, you suppose there’s a bitterness to your voice as well.

“So you wish for my peoples help then,”

King Orm nods. “This is a necessary alliance, if we do not ally ourselves both our kingdoms will fall”

You consider his words carefully, “My people have been manipulated by your kind before,”

“I am not the kings before me” He says.

You peer out of the bedroom window, it had once given you a view of your beloved kingdom, now you are accosted by the sight of ruins every sunrise.

You worried your lip between your teeth: could you not win the war alone?

“You have very little to lose” King Orm offers, “and very much to gain.”

As hesitant as memories of the past made you, King Orm was right. Atlantis had been attacked as well and warring with your people would ensure mutual destruction.

You consider Orm one last time, searching for treachery in his eyes. Satisfied that you have found none, you make your decision: “The enemy of my enemy is my friend”

@ultrarebelheart @fueled-by-novocaine

#King Orm #king orm/reader #king orm x reader #gender neutral reader #aquaman imagine #aquaman reactions #aquaman #orm marius/reader #orm marius x reader #orm marius reactions #King Orm reactions #reader insert #reader-insert #king orm imagine #orm marius #orm marius imagine

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my-emotional-self · 6 years

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A Little Bit of Wisdom (Chris Evans x Reader)

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: fluff, swearing

Request: could you please do a chris evans imagine where the girl needs to extract two of her wisdom teeth at once then she gets extremely funny after the surgery, but starts to cry when the anesthesia starts to run out bc she’s feeling a lot of pain?

Requested By: Anonymous

“Don’t be nervous babe. I’ll be there when you go under, and I’ll be there when you wake up,” Chris squeezed your hand gently, but it did nothing to stop your racing, nervous heart.

After years of putting it off, you finally decided to get your wisdom teeth taken out; and you were beginning to regret your decision. They had never bothered you before, but you knew it was for the best to get them extracted. Luckily, Chris has been in that situation before and he even encouraged you to get it done in Boston, by his own father.

You had met his father a few times and you instantly liked him; which helped you make up your mind to get them taken out by him. To you, it was all about being comfortable with your doctor or dentist, and Chris’ dad definitely made you comfortable; just not this situation.

Like many people, you’ve always hated the dentist. It was something you could never understand, the people who actually liked the dentist. The drills, the noise, it all got to you and your heart had been racing with nerves since the moment you woke up; not even getting a decent night’s sleep.

~~~

“Well, good news is you only need two of your wisdom teeth removed Y/N,” Dr. Evans said after taking a look at your xrays. “You will still need to be put under anesthesia since they are not only on opposite sides of your mouth, but one is on top, and the other is on the bottom. It will be a fairly easy procedure so you have nothing to worry about.”

Chris squeezed your hand again as your chair began to lean back. “I just need you to breath normally and before you know it, you will be waking back up and it will all be over with,” the nurse said.

~~~

“Sweetheart, it’s all over,” you faintly heard Chris’ voice as you became conscious again. Your head was fuzzy as you groggily opened your eyes. Looking around, you were confused at first until you realized where you were. With the smell and the chair you were sitting in, you realized you were at the dentist.

Looking to your right, you saw an impeccably gorgeous man holding onto your hand; giving you a glorious bright smile.

“You’re pretty,” you said as it was muffled by the cotton stuck in your mouth.

The man laughed so hard you couldn’t help but giggle yourself. “Thank you,” he responded with his beaming smile, “but I’m nothing compared to how gorgeous you are.”

Your eyes widened as you looked into his baby blue eyes. “You…you think I’m gorgeous?”

Another bark of laughter came from his throat, and deep from his chest as he shook his head in disbelief. “Are you kidding? You are the most gorgeous woman I have ever laid eyes on!”

Dr. Evans came into the small room in that moment. “How are you feeling Y/N?”

“This man thinks I’m gorgeous? And have you seen him yourself Dr.? He is the gorgeous one! Look at how pretty his eyes are. And his smile. Holy shit is his smile pretty!”

Dr. Evans chuckled at your words. “I would hope he has a pretty smile. I helped him with that.”

“Damn you did a good job! Any woman would be lucky to wake up to a smile like that everyday.”

“Well consider yourself a lucky girl, since you are dating him.”

You looked between the gorgeous man and Dr. Evans. “Are you fucking kidding me? I’M dating this gorgeous person?”

~~~

On the way home, the anesthesia began to wear off and you realized how much of a fool you made of yourself back at the dentist office; but Chris assured you that he would never hold it against you.

Once you got back to his condo in downtown Boston, he helped you get relaxed in his bed. You only had been laying there a few minutes before the tears began to fall from your face. With the anesthesia and the Novocain wearing off, your mouth was really starting to hurt.

“Baby what’s wrong?” Chris asked with concern as he sat down by your side.

“I’m hurting,” you cried out, feeling foolish.

Chris rushed out of the bedroom before he was back in a flash with a cup of water and a bottle of pills. “Here, these are your pain pills.” He helped you sit up, placing two pills in your hand. It was hard to open your mouth as you winced at the pain. You slowly swallowed the two pills before relaxing back in bed. “Do you want to watch a movie?” You nodded your head as Chris came around the other side of the bed.

He cuddled up next to you as ‘The Little Mermaid’ began playing on the TV.

Tag List: @patzammit @brastrangled @miss-cap21 @pumbibaby @the-real-kellymonster @princess-evans-addict @white-chocolate-mocha-fan @remember-that-one-blog @marvelouslyme96 @kanupps06 @zohoffman @sincerelyfan @projectxhappiness @libbitinasdeath @hispeculiartreasure @guera31 @ssweet-empowerment @sfreeborn @jjlevin @badassbaker @sophiealiice @supernatural-girl97 @coffeebooksandfandom @esoltis280 @poerebel @laochbaineann @crushed-pink-petals @thisismysecrethappyplace

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sunshinesteviee · 6 years

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Hi! I was just wondering if you could do a headacon for peter parker? His tough bestfruend/girlfriend gets her wisdom teeth removed and shes all soft and fragile. I got just my wisdom teeth removed and I need some boyfriend parker :')

hi, love! i hope you’re feeling okay!! i got mine removed at the end of the summer, so i know how much of a pain in the ass it can be. it gets better quickly, i promise! i hope this lil blurb helps, even if just a little. lots of love to you 💕

Peter was waiting at home for you after you got your wisdom teeth removed. He hadn’t had his out yet, so he didn’t really know what to expect from you after the procedure. He’d heard a lot of people were kind of loopy after they got their wisdom teeth out, so he figured you’d probably be acting a bit strange. But what he didn’t realize, however, was that he’d see a different side of you.

The second your mom’s car pulled into the driveway, Peter was out of your front door, helping you out of the car. You still seemed a bit out it, and while you kept insisting that you could walk to your room by yourself, Peter wrapped his arm around your waist, drawing you into his side to help you into the house. In your bedroom, Peter helped you sit down on the bed, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, “How’d it go, baby?”

Your shoulders shrugged as he helped you lift your legs into the bed, laying down on the mountain of pillows to get comfortable. Your mouth still felt kind of numb, and it felt weird to talk, “Okay, I guess. Don’t even remember being knocked out. Thought I’d realize when I was falling asleep, but then I suddenly woke up and it was done.”

Laughing a little, Peter pulled the covers up from the bottom of the bed, “Well, you’re done now, you can relax, babe.”

Nodding your head slightly, you let out a sigh as you reached up to grab Peter’s hand, “Could you get me a sweatshirt from my dresser?”

“Of course,” he responded, getting up quickly to cross the room, pulling out what he knew to be your favorite sweatshirt of his. You’d started wearing it so often that he just let you take it.

When he brought it back over, Peter started handing it to you, but you shook your head, your voice small, “Can- can you help me change?”

This request took Peter aback a little - you usually insisted on doing things yourself (like zipping up your own dress), even if it was difficult - but he didn’t hesitate to sit on the bed next to you. Pulling your shirt over your head, careful to pull the collar out so as to avoid your jaw, Peter switched out your shirt to his sweatshirt that he’d picked out for you. You let out another sigh, murmuring a soft ‘thank you’ before asking Peter to get in bed with you.

Once again, Peter was quick to oblige, wiggling his way underneath the covers next to you. One of his arms slid around your waist, while the other reached for the remote to turn on the TV. He immediately picked your favorite show as you snuggled in closer to him, trying to get comfortable against him without bothering your swollen jaw.

Not long later, the effect of the novocaine was really beginning to wear off, and your mouth was bothering you, even though you’d taken the medication you’d been prescribed. You let out a small groan, causing Peter to shift a little bit so he could look down at you, “What’s wrong, baby?”

“It hurts, Peter,” you whimpered softly, a few tears welling up in your eyes.

The thought of you in pain made Peter’s heart ache, and he didn’t know what to do. You rarely complained, and often acted tough even when you didn’t need to, insisting that you didn’t need Peter’s help, so he certainly didn’t expect to see you so soft and fragile now. Frowning slightly, Peter lifted a hand and smoothed some of your hair away from your face, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “I’m so sorry, baby. You’ll be feeling better in no time, I promise. Is there anything I can do?”

You let out another sigh, shrugging your shoulders. You knew you’d already taken as much medication as you could for the time being, so there wasn’t much to do. “Just stay with me?” you asked softly, looking up at Peter with wide eyes.

“I’m not going anywhere, love,” he murmured in response, fingers still brushing through your hair as he pressed one more kiss to your hairline.

3k celebration!!!

#3k celebration #peter blurbs #blurbs

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eene-fangirl · 6 years

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How 'bout a dentist/oral surgery themed EddEddy fanfic?

“I told you, sockhead, I ain’t seein’ a stupid dentist! This pain’ll go away on its own!”

Edd closed the drivers side of the car and adjusted the mirror. “That’s what you said over a week ago. It’s obvious that the situation isn’t going to get any better unless you resolve the issue.”

And they were off, driving through the neighborhood and eventually into town continuing their bickering. All the while Eddy pressed his hand against the side of his jaw. The pain was back, grinding against his teeth like a jackhammer. He could no longer disagree. Mainly due to how it was so painful he couldn’t even speak.

Letting out a pained groan, and clutching at the fabric holding the seat together, Edd noticed, took one hand off the steering wheel and held his boyfriends hand. The needed affection made Eddy smile, though only for a second. The pain even made smiling hurt.

“They’ll take care of it, Eddy. You’ll feel better.”

And they drove into the parking lot and waited in the waiting room. Waiting rooms were the worst. There you were sitting in a chair, glancing at the clock that may be broken, while being surrounded by people. The magazines were a bore. Screaming kids either playing around or wanting to run away. That’s what Edd wanted to do. If it weren’t for the excruciating pain keeping him here, he’d be out of this place in the speed of light.

Edd nervously tapped his foot on the floor. He even thumped his fingers on the arm of the chair. Just behind a closed door the distant voices of dentists babble could be heard.

“Cavities…. flossing… nurse could you assist me…. Extraction….”

Extraction…

Eddy’s heart started to pound deep within his chest. What if the dentists did have to pull something? More pain! But if they had to fill a cavity they’d inject s needle to numb his mouth. A needle…

Taking a deep breath, Edd turned to him, concerned. Although Eddy smiled, it hurt too much.

“Eddy!” The dentist called.

“Want me to attend with you?” Edd asked standing up with him.

A needle injection. Extracting. Pain. Alone.

Eddy scoffed, rolling his eyes, playfully. “No! Wait here. I’m a big boy aren’t I?’

Edd sighed, a sad but understanding smile. “Okay.”

He followed the nurse inside where she closed the door to the waiting room. Now he had a new pain. Being away from Edd.

Making himself comfortable in the chair a paper towel was clipped around his neck. Eddy cringed at the white paper. Its functions were to catch massive saliva overload, if you had to gack, or blood. His hand gripped the arm of the chair. The pain was back, excruciating. He wanted to scream. It was like… like…

… when Bro… no, he couldn’t think about that.

Then the dentist arrived, wearing her white jacket, khaki pants, and carrying gloves. Stern, but kind. Definitely looked as if she knew her profession. No questions asked.

“Hello, Eddy,” she greeted, looking through his files. What else did it say in those? “I understand you’ve been having some pain on the lower left side of your mouth.”

“Yup,” Eddy answered, trying to sound calm. He couldn’t sound like a whiny baby. Besides the pain was too much to even speak.

She sat down in the swivel chair, and rolled towards him. “We’ll take a look. The possibility may be your wisdom tooth, the one we filled a cavity on back in June. Or it could be another cavity impacting a tooth.”

Hitting a button, the chair moved back, and a light shined in Eddy’s face. He squinted until he was staring up at the ceiling. Metal gadgets searched through his mouth. Eddy winced, briefly gasping. Please, let it be a cavity!

The dentist grunted, removed her mask, and started to lift up the chair again. “It’s the wisdom tooth alright.”

Eddy grumped to himself as she talked to him about the possibilities. The number one was to extract it, or he could hold off and keep taking pain killers. He’d still have to come back if the pain didn’t subside.

Tapping his fingers against the arm rest, Eddy’s eyes shifted in a million different directions. What options was he to choose?? The pain was awful! The worst pain out of anything he ever endured. Edd always told him mind over matter but this pain was too great for him to handle. He handled much worse. Yes, he did…

Like….

The memory.

“Um…”

His mouth wide open.

“It won’t hurt. You’ll just feel a slight pinch. It’s out in five second,” The dentist explained.

“This’ll only take a minute, pipsqueak.”

Sweat dripped down Eddy’s face. “Um, n-n…”

Pain. So much pain.

‘Open wide.’ The cold extractor touched his tooth.

“‘K.” Eddy responded dismally.

“Are you sure?” The dentist asked, noticing how put out he looked. “You can have more time.”

“Just do it!” Eddy growled, shutting his eyes. No tears.

He hoped he was loud enough for Edd to hear. Edd was the biggest worry-wort you could meet. The slightest sound of panic, he’d drop whatever he was doing and come running.

The dentist agreed and sat him back in the chair once more. His heart was pounding deep inside his chamber. Drops of sweat dripped off his face.

The memory.

Bro extracted a tooth from his own mouth when he was just three years old!

The pain…

“Are you ready? I’m just going to numb your mouth.”

A needle filled with a numbing substance was placed in his mouth. Eddy cringed.

“There. Let’s let that numb your mouth. I’ll back back.” And the dentist left the room.

Eddy was alone.

He sat there as his face lost all feeling. Eddy flicked his cheek. Pins and needles but he could still feel it.

Then the dentist returned into the room, sat in the swivel chair, and picked up one of her tools. The extractor.

Eddy recoiled, gripping the arm of the chair even tighter.

“Are you alright?” she asked, noticing his reactions.

“Y-Yes,” Eddy answered, stuttering over his words.

She held back for a second until going through with her work. “You’re just going to feel a slight pinch.”

The cold medal iron touching his gum made Eddy gasp. Bro ripping out his tooth at the exact second his Mom walked into the room didn’t make anything better.

Just then the dentist handed him a tissue. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Was he actually crying? Eddy stared miserably at his feet. Such a coward. The numbing was working.

“Um… can you,” Eddy began, pausing. “Get my f-b-boyfriend in the waiting room? The one with the black sock hat?”

The dentist smiled, understanding his situation. “Of course! Don’t fret, the first time I had a tooth pulled I needed my mother!” She laughed as she left the room.

Eddy waited in the chair gathering himself together. He even took a deep breath wiping away the fallen tears. It was just a memory for God’s sake! Why was he being such a baby. It was normal, the therapist always said. He just wanted to be better now!

Just then Edd raced into the room, practically sliding into him when he sat in the chair. Immediately alarm soaked his face when he saw the tears trickling down his cheek.

Edd wiped away the tears and held his hand. “What’s the matter?”

“They’re gonna extract my wisdom tooth,” Eddy answered, his voice a tad hoarse. It was also due to Novocaine numbing one side of his mouth.

Edd stared into his eyes gently. That look immediately made Eddy feel better. Heck, Edd’s beautiful face was just what he needed in any given circumstance.

“You’re going to be okay,” Edd assured. He kissed his cheek, the side that wasn’t numb. “I’m right here.”

The chair bent back and Eddy prepared himself. He gripped Edd’s hand to the point where he may have been cutting off circulation. He closed his eyes in wait. The clamp held his mouth open.

“You’re only going to feel pressure,” The dentist explained once more.

Eddy flinched, gripping Edd’s hand tighter when he felt pressure.

“Are you okay?” The dentist asked.

Eddy nodded. His eyes were still closed. He couldn’t say anything.

“Well, it’s all over. Finished!” And a gauze was placed over the hole.

After checking out, a tired Eddy leaned against Edd as they walked out the door. Folding up his jacket, Edd placed it behind Eddy’s head, making him comfortable.

“Feel better?” Edd asked, driving off through the town.

Eddy nodded, about to fall asleep. “Yup.”

Edd touched his hand, holding it. “I’m proud of you.”

“Does this mean I get a jawbreaker and some ice cream?”

Edd smirked. “That has been the cause of all your cavities.”

“That’s no fair!” Eddy pouted.

“How about an afternoon of cuddling and movies?” Edd suggested. “The dentist instructed no physical activity.”

Eddy poked his tongue out, mischievously. “Did she?”

“Don’t get any funny ideas, Mr.!”

#ed edd n eddy #eene #eene fanfiction #EddEddy #double dee appreciation month

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tilltheendwilliwrite · 7 years

Text

Rise Up

Chapter Twenty

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader | Word Count: 5021 Warnings: Swearing, fights, a little smexy.

Song: My Hero by The Foo Fighters

You woke with a start to the cadence of slow beeps monitoring your heart, the scent of antiseptic, and the mutter of Bruce as he puttered around. His heart was the only one you could find besides your own, and you turned your head his direction, sending a wave of pain through your face.

“Shit!” You grabbed your cheek only to have your ribs grind together. “Double shit!” you wheezed and caused Bruce to chuckle.

“Welcome back, your majesty.”

“Bite me, Bruce,” you grumbled, sitting up slowly.

His hands were quick to find your elbows and help you to the edge of the bed. “You’re healing at an advanced rate. According to all reports, your broken ribs are down to mere fractures, and your orbital bone and cheek are more like deep bone bruises than the cracks of shattered glass they were when you got on the jet.”

“How long have I been out? What happened? Steven!?” you gasped, trying to lurch from the bed and nearly landing on the floor.

“Hey! Hey! Easy! Everyone’s fine. Everyone’s safe. You don’t remember what happened?”

You shook your head slowly. “I remember Steven doing something foolish, me getting smacked into Tony, and smelling Steve’s blood. Then the ljå was dead, and the roof was coming down on us.”

“So… the part where you screamed filthy things and called upon your fallen sisters, Thor, Odin, and Loki to lend you their strength while your eyes glowed and you kicked that thing’s ass by ripping out its throat before riding its falling corpse to the ground… is a blank?”

“What?” You blinked at him. “How do you know what happened?”

“Tony records everything. Once Wanda let me know about… Elektra, the Hulk insisted we come home, much to Laura’s relief I’m sure. And, just so you know, the big guy? He’s none too happy about sitting this one out.”

You gave his cheek a gentle pat. “I’ll happily play around of dodge-and-roll with him once everything stops throbbing.”

There was a moment of silence before Bruce nodded. “He says he doesn’t know what that is, but he’ll take it.”

“It’s a game I played with my sisters. He’ll like it. Promise.”

He hummed softly before sitting beside you. “So? You gonna own up to what glowing eyes and memory loss mean? You didn’t seem surprised by it.”

“I’m surprised Heimdall didn’t spill the beans. Nosy guardian revealed all my other secrets,” you grumbled.

“He would only grin and mutter about you being a special sort of Valkyrie.”

With a sigh, you heaved yourself off the bed. “How long has it been?”

“The flight from China, plus a good six hours since you got home. Steve was here for most of it, but I kicked him out about twenty minutes ago. He stunk.” Bruce wrinkled up his nose.

“Well, he didn’t get very far. I can hear them all down the hall in a conference room, along with…” you cocked your head to the side, “Ross! What the fuck is he doing back here?”

“He showed up with an order for Daredevil. Of course, Murdock was with you, so we simply denied everything. I had Susan jump into his room, clear it out, and hide his stuff in the barn. Smitty managed to get a text out to Clint and Tony gave him an airlift out the back of the jet. He’s with Hemmi as far as I know.”

“Okay, so why is Ross still here?” you asked.

“Professional courtesy, he said. He insisted on staying until the Queen had recovered enough to assure him herself she would be fine, along with demanding to know what you all were doing in China. Heimdall has been taking every opportunity to sit and sharpen his sword while looming and glaring. Tony finds it hilarious. Natasha has joined in and started cleaning her weapons. Bucky, too. Sam’s just wandering around with a permanent scowl, and Vision is keeping an eye on Wanda. She’s been a little… twitchy since he arrived.”

“Well, I guess I should let him pay his respects so he can get the hell out of here.” You turned to leave only to stop and gasp when your ribs pulled.

“You want a shot of something before you do that?” he asked, amusement in his tone.

“Can you just numb it up? They’re going to be fine in another couple more hours, but breathing kind of hurts right now.”

He chuckled but nodded and moved away to his workstation. “This is something I’ve been working on for Steve and Bucky. It’s an analgesic cream, penetrates deep, and numbs nerve endings. It’s super-powered,” he muttered as he snapped on a pair of latex gloves. “On anyone else, it would cause them to lose all feeling and mobility of the area, but for you bunch, it should be right up your alley.”

“You speaking from experience there, Brucey-bear?” you teased as you pulled your leather shirt up out of the way for him to swipe the cream over your ribcage.

“Was like being injected with novocaine,” he grumbled.

You snickered, then sighed when the relief was nearly instant. “Oh… that’s good stuff.”

“It should absorb fully,” he continued to mutter as he applied a small dab to your cheek and began to smooth it out, “but I’d appreciate any feedback you may have — odd sensations, tingling, more than the normal level of numbness. You actually make a good test subject as you’ve used the other stuff for regular people and know what it should do. So… thanks for being my guinea pig!”

“I’ve been reduced to lab rat status. Great,” you huffed but smiled, more than willing to assist.

“And a damn fine job you’re doing.”

You gave him a swat in the arm as he pulled his gloves off. “I plan on having a shower. Long and hot. With much excessive soap use to get the grunge off and out of my hair. That going to be a problem?”

“Should all be absorbed in the next ten minutes, but if it does wash off, let me know.”

“Thanks, Bruce,” you said, leaning in to hug him.

He gave a stiff, one armed pat to your back. “Anytime.”

“What?” you asked, pulling away.

“Uh…” Easily felt heat filled his face. “You’re a little… under-underdressed.”

Your hands flew to your chest only to sigh. “What? I swim in less clothing than this!” The leather top was no different than a camisole to your mind.

“Things… um, gape!” he squeaked when you leaned toward him.

It made you laugh. “Alright, alright. You got an extra shirt I can borrow?”

He was quick to scramble over to a drawer in his desk and toss one your way. Dragging it over your head, you felt the slightly thicker coating on the front and grinned at him. “Which one is this?”

“Melting Rubix cube,” he grumbled. Bruce had a penchant for science shirts or nerd wear as Nat affectionately called it. “It’s my favourite, so try not to get it bloody.”

“No promises,” you called over your shoulder. You hadn’t punched Ross last time. This time you weren’t so sure you could contain yourself.

“(Y/N)!” he barked as he followed you down the hall. “C’mon!”

A soft giggle welled in your chest, but you bit it back as you sauntered onward. He jogged a few steps until he could match your pace. The halls were deathly quiet for what essentially amounted to midday. It was odd and made the hair on your neck rise with concern, but there were no shouted alarms, no quickened heartbeats, only silence and the occasional sharp intake of breath.

Steve’s heart remained steadfast, calm, if marginally faster than normal, and it was it you focused on. If he wasn’t reacting with spikes and jumps, then things should be okay.

Rounding the corner you and Bruce both came to a halt when you found the reason no one was working was that nearly every person in the compound had gathered outside the walls of the glassed-in conference room to watch the fight happening on the screen within.

Around the table were your teammates in their preferred positions. Ross stood, arms crossed and mouth gaping, staring at the screen you could hear but not see. A couple of his henchmen were gathered behind him, and two more stood just beyond the open door.

Slowly, you began to weave your way through the sea of people, shushing them when they made to speak, working forward until you could lean against the open doorway, crossing both arms and legs. The battle replayed in your mind with each grunt and scream, each shout of the ljå. Steve’s arrival on the field made you frown, but you continued to listen as it played out.

Bruce stood just behind your shoulder. His breathing and heart jumped around. His hands opened and closed into fists, and his muscles twitched in anticipation of each blow. Something in his scent grew wild and dangerous, and you knew the Hulk was very close to the surface, watching and longing to have been involved in the battle.

You felt bad for leaving the big green guy out, but it was for his protection. His and the worlds. A Hulk made ljå? You couldn’t even imagine it and reached back to grip Bruce’s hand. His tightened once before the fidgeting gradually slowed and eventually stopped.

The sound of your elbow connecting with Tony’s suit as you screamed in denial, drew your attention back to the screen, and though you still couldn’t see it, you could hear what happened next and worked to piece it together.

A drop, powerful and deep, sending earth exploding around you. Wind whistled, and in it, you heard the howl of the wolf and the cries of your ancestors as your power rose. The warcry of your father tore from your throat, violent and ragged, leaving you wondering how you hadn’t shredded your vocal cords with that single sound as you cursed and berated the ljå, swore and threatened it, and spewed vile curses you hadn’t even known you knew — things you would never have said in your right mind and flinched at the vulgarity. Sure you could swear like a sailor and had no qualms about bitching someone out, but that was downright nasty!

Then, that first initial step and the ground shook. Another and it tremored. A leap and the rocks seemed to creak and scream as the wave of your force blasted them.

Like Bruce had said, you called out to your sisters. To Tyra, Asta, Ingrid, Vigdís, and Brynhildr. You cried out, vowed vengeance and claimed retribution for your fallen friends. You swore it by Gungnir, Odin’s spear, that you would not stop until the last of the Sjeletyv were purged from existence. With Odin’s name you beseeched him to lend you his wisdom, to Thor you sought his strength, and from Loki, you begged his cunning. You would need all three.

The rest unfolded in much screaming, the breaking of armour, and the crashing of stone as the others tried to get Steve to retreat, only to have him refuse to leave you behind. They wouldn’t have left you there, that much you did know, only moved to the tunnel so as not to be slammed flat by the rocks falling from the ceiling, but his refusal both made your heart swell and pissed you off a little further.

He’d taken unnecessary risks — ones which could have ended far differently. As it was, you checked every one of the team, making damn sure no one had had their soul sipped before relaxing your vigil in time to hear your parting words and Vision’s translation.

A blush, pale and light, coated your cheeks at hearing yourself claim Steve like he was something you owned. You never wanted him to feel like that. That being sjelevenn was an act of possession. He wasn’t cattle to be branded and paraded around like a thing of value.

Bruce’s hand squeezed yours and let go, drawing you from your musings as you called out weakly for Steve and passed out.

“Well… that was fun. I’ve never gotten to see myself go full berserker before. Though I guess see is a relative turn,” you quipped as the volume on the video lowered.

It was like everyone’s head was on a swivel when they all jerked your direction at the same time. The two men on the door jumped guiltily for having not noticed your arrival, then took a wary step away as you straightened from the doorframe.

“My lady,” Heimdall murmured, first to his feet where he bowed deeply. “Asgard celebrates your victory. Odin has extended his congratulations through me.”

“Loki?” you asked, only to have him shake his head. “Mischief god makes mischief even when he’s not here,” you muttered. His continued incarceration with the Valkyrjur was beginning to annoy you. They were holding the son of Odin. Even though the Valkyrjur might not follow Odin for more than orders, the keeping of his son was uncalled for, rude, and a snub to the All-father’s face. Something else for you to deal with when you returned.

“Highness,” Ross muttered, turning to face you. He stiffened, then relaxed. “Are you… fit to be out of medical?”

“Not my blood… well, most of it’s not mine,” you said with a feral grin. The stiffness of your hair and pants made you wonder how bad you looked. Someone had gotten a lot of the blood off your face and hands, but some of it had crept through holes the ljå had shredded in your armour to coat your legs and stomach.

“Fine. Then how about you explain yourself?” he barked and pointed at the screen. “You claim you’re not inhuman, but that looked pretty damn inhuman to me!”

The feral smile never wavered as you stepped further into the room to stand at Tony’s back. “I’m not inhuman. What I am is a Valkyrie, a special kind of Valkyrie. One of a kind if you will.”

“You know the suspense is killing me,” Tony huffed, swivelling his chair so he could look up at you. “Just spill it! You stink like three kinds of nasty, and I’d like not to smell you anymore.”

“Rude,” you huffed but smirked down at him. “I’m a Berserker.”

“Like… run through battle naked and screaming Viking Berserker?” Clint asked, staring at you in shock.

“Did you see me get naked at any point in that battle, feathers?” you snarled at him and rolled your eyes. “Berserkers were a group of native Asgardians, the people of my father. When Asgard went to war, you wanted the Berserkers on your side. I’m sure after seeing that,” you flicked your hand at the screen, “you can make your own assumptions as to why that was. But the Berserkers throughout our history have always been male. There had never been a female born to the clan with the power… until me.”

“More secrets, (Y/N),” Steve muttered.

You turned cold and harsh eyes his direction. “I never kept this a secret. Don’t dig yourself a deeper hole, Captain. We’re already going to be having words about the stupid ass thing you did today… yesterday. Whenever!”

“You never told me about this!” he barked, rising to his feet to lean toward you over the table.

A growl, deadly and hard ripped from your throat. “Use what little brain cells weren’t frozen to think and remember, Captain! I told you that day on the roof about going full Berserker on the ljå who took out that village. Who killed that child! Call me a liar again, and you’ll regret it!”

“I didn’t call you a liar!”

“It was clearly implied!”

“Hey, how about we all just take a few deep, calming breaths-”

“Shut up, Sam!” The two of you yelled at the same time.

You turned your attention back to Ross. “As you can see, sir, I’m perfectly fine. Thank you for your concern and for stopping by, but if you’ll excuse me, I’ve been informed I’m in desperate need of a shower.”

“We’re not done, Highness!” Ross snapped. “How did you know about that thing? Where did it come from? Who gave you the intel?”

“I’m sorry, but we’re done.” Tony snickered as you turned to leave, only to have Ross’s men step into your path. “I just took off the head of a nine-foot monster with little more than a sword and my bare hands. You are going to want to get the fuck out of my way!”

When they didn’t move but looked to Ross for direction, you lost what little hold you had left on your temper. It was nothing more than a shove, but both went straight through the glass walls encasing the conference room. “Whoops. It appears they fell. Pity how clumsy some people are,” you muttered.

A deep, rolling chuckle spilled from Bruce, and a voice that was not his own rumbled, “Feisty girl. We fight later.”

“You got it, Hulk baby!” You sent him a wink and sauntered out without so much as a by-your-leave. At this point, you figured you’d earned a freebie for insubordination and attitude.

Anger still rippled inside you, hot and sharp, seeming to tear at your heart and soul. It was mixed with the bitter taste of fear, the flavour reawakening with the recount of Steve’s idiocy.

He’d come so close. So close to losing everything. He could have died. He could have lost his soul, and you would never have gotten another life with him.

The harsh reality of what might have been pounded down on you and your hand shook as you reached for the door knobbed. He hadn’t followed, likely staying to deal with the fallout from Ross. You were actually thankful for the reprieve, needing time to collect yourself when the first tear slipped from your eye.

You nearly fell in the door and trudged to the bath, not bothering with the light. The water came on, and you were quick to strip out of Bruce’s shirt. You hadn’t gotten blood on it, surprisingly, and even though you’d shoved two grown men out the what essentially amounted to windows, neither of them had been injured beyond their pride and a few bruises.

Once Bruce’s shirt landed beside the sink, you stepped fully clothed, boots and all, beneath the spray to slide down the wall until you could rest your head on your knees. Anger became all-consuming fear and the thoughts of what if circled relentlessly as you sat there shaking, waiting out the anguish of what could have been.

The mental image, one which was more shapes and shadows, of the ljå going after Steve, would be forever ingrained in your mind as the third time you’d nearly lost him. Lost your sjelevenn on a battlefield because you weren’t quick enough, strong enough, good enough to save him. If you weren’t blessed to be what you were, you would have lost him, right then and there, in a manner most horrid.

A sob racked your body right as the glass door swung open. “Go away, Steven.”

***

After her outburst in the conference room, he’d expected anger, rage, and likely yelling. He’d been ignoring the fluctuating heart in his chest, his own temper running hot and burning through the pain he was feeling, ignoring it as nothing more than the physical pain she had to be in still.

But seeing her curled up, looking tiny on the floor, soaked and shivering even beneath the hot spray and steam had all his indignation falling away. He shut the door and listened to her sob while twisting himself into a pretzel to get out of his suit. Once he’d shucked it down his legs, he peeled himself out of his undershirt and shorts and opened the door a second time. She didn’t even snarl, just turned her face away and leaned her temple on her knee.

“Baby,” he sighed as he knelt beside her and tried to pull her against him.

Her hand slammed into his chest, and she shoved him back. “No! No, you don’t just get to cuddle and pretend everything’s fine, Steven! You said you’d stay out of it, that you trusted me to get it done, but you didn’t! You just had to jump in like always, be the damn hero, and nearly got-” Her voice broke on a harsh sob.

“(Y/N)…” he sighed, her pain, her fear and despair seeming to tear at him, rip a gaping hole in his chest. “I did trust you. I knew you could do it.”

“Then why? Why would you do that? Why would you- when you knew! You knew what could happen! Gods!” She shoved to her feet to stand wet and dripping, leather plastered to her body and rivers of red and purple streaming from her frame to swirl down the drain before him. The colour matched the bloom of bruising around her eye and along her cheek, and he imagined it would match the explosion of the same colour across her ribs.

He surged to his feet to loom over her, better equipped to deal with anger than tears at the moment. “Because we’re better together, goddammit! Do you think I couldn’t see how every time she shrieked or screamed you lost a step? That I wouldn’t know how blind you were in that instant? Of course, I came to help you! I’ll always come to help you!”

“You damn ass! Do you know what it felt like when I caught the scent of your blood?” She slammed both palms to his chest and rocked him back. “How fucking terrified I was? Do you!?”

“Yes!” he bellowed, grabbing her by the wrists and jerking them behind her back, forcing her chest into his with the action. “You forget I can feel what you feel! I know exactly what raced through you at that moment, but you saved me!”

She struggled but his grip was unbreakable, and she snarled in frustration before kneeing him in the thigh.

Grunting, Steve swung her around and into the wall where he caged her, hands now above her head and his body a solid mass of immovable, pissed off muscle. “Watch it, sweetheart,” he growled.

“You watch it, Captain! You did a stupid thing, and I’ve every right to call you on it!”

“But you saved me!”

“I might not have! Dammit, Steven! You just don’t get it!” She bucked, wiggled, and writhed, rubbing wet leather and fucking gorgeous curves against him.

His body responded without his permission and made him even madder for being turned on and pissed off at the same time. “Then why don’t you explain it to me, (Y/N). Maybe you’d best use small words so what few brain cells I have left can understand you!”

“I can’t control it!”

He frowned. “What?”

“The power,” she sighed, seeming to deflate as her struggle ended. “The men could always turn it on or turn it off at will. I can’t. I don’t get a choice. Something happens to trigger it, and it’s like a switch flips in my brain. I disappear to be replaced by… a much more violent form of myself. I lose time, say and do things that I wouldn’t when I’m just… this. It’s me… but not me.”

“Baby,” he sighed, releasing her wrists to cup her face carefully. “It’s okay. You saved me. I’m right here.”

“But I might not have…” she whispered as tears began to trail down her cheeks again. “I could have lost you down there. Again. And this time there would have been no second chance. You would have been gone. Forever!” Her head bowed, and her forehead fell against his chest as she cried out the fear.

Steve closed his eyes and turned his face into her hair. He shifted to hold her tightly, clinging to her as the truth became blindingly bright. Did he regret rushing in to help her? No. Did he regret the pain he’d caused, the fear doing so had put in her heart? With everything he was. But he would do it again in a heartbeat.

“I couldn’t just stand back and watch. I couldn’t, not after you screamed. It was like a piece of me just… tore open. I had to help. I had to! Nothing was going to stop me from coming to you. Not even you.”

Her hands, which had drifted down to lay against his chest, curled into fists and she tapped one against his heart a few times. “You’re a stubborn, pigheaded, cantankerous old fart with a death wish, doing stupid things like jumping from planes with no parachute. I should have known rushing in to try and help kill a creature that could literally suck out your soul would be right up your alley.”

“And yet, you still love me.”

“Yeah. I should have let Heimdall drag your ass out of there,” she muttered.

“You and I both know I’d a kicked his ass if he tried.”

She snorted out a half laugh. “You would have tried.”

“Baby.” He caught her chin and lifted it up to see her gorgeous eyes. “If he were tryin’ to keep me from getting back to you, I’d a succeeded.”

A smirk twitched her lips. “I believe you would, sjelevenn.”

“So, am I forgiven?”

“Am I?” she asked. “I guess I never really explained about being a Berserker, and I was kind of snippy in the conference room.”

Steve chuckled softly at her use of snippy. He’d dragged her out of places where she’d been in a full temper and knew it could have been a lot worse. “I probably shouldn’t admit to the fact I thought your insubordination was hot.”

“Oh, really?” She smirked a wide grin. “Do tell.”

“I’d rather show,” he murmured, nudging his hips into hers.

“Why, Captain! How very unprofessional of you,” she snickered and began to slide her hands over his chest. “Did our little tiff turn you on?”

“Not so much the snarling but having you wriggling around all wet and sexy? Yeah, baby.” Most of the blood had washed down the drain, and Steve nuzzled his nose into her throat, nipping at the sensitive skin beneath her ear. “How about we get you out of these wet clothes?”

“Can’t have a proper shower with them on.”

“Definitely not,” he chuckled and caught the hem of her shirt to peel it up over her head and let it fall with a wet plop. Her faulds came next, hitting the ground with a clank before he kicked them aside. He tsked softly as he looked down, though his hands were busy brushing and massaging her beautiful breasts. “Boots in the shower? That’s just wrong.”

“Mmm,” she hummed, arching into his touch. “What are you going to do about… Captain?”

He lowered to his knees, smirk ever present, his hands slipping down her wet torso to rub gentle circles on her skin. Careful of her ribs, Steve leaned in and kissed her beside the dimple of her belly button and nipped sharp teeth into her flesh to make her gasp. “Gonna have to reprimand you for it, doll. First, you get all snippy with your superior; then there was the use of excessive force - which, by the way, Tony said is coming out of your pay to replace the glass - and now I find you abusing your uniform? You’re racking up points as a troublemaker.” The ties on her pants were well and truly swollen when he gave them a testing tug.

“Steven,” she moaned and threaded her hands through his hair.

The ties gave when he wrenched them apart with a quick jerk and began to roll the wet leather down her legs. “Yeah, baby?” he murmured, snapping the ones on her boots when her pants hung up on her knees.

Her hand closed in his hair, and she tugged until his chin lifted and breath caught at the sight of her smile. “I think you’ve forgotten who the Queen in this relationship is,” she purred and caressed his cheek.

He could only grin and shake his head. “Oh, darling. I ain’t ever gonna forget that,” Steve said as he lifted her foot and worked the first boot off. Once he had the second free, he stripped her pants down to her ankles and let her kick them aside.

The softness of her skin called to him, and he was helpless but to reach out and wrap his hands around the back of her knees. He pulled her forward, off the wall and against him so he could place tender kisses and light nips to her thighs before turning his nose to the thatch of curls between her legs. “I’m sorry I scared you,” he murmured as he nudged and nuzzled against her, finding her scent intoxicating as always.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you in front of the others,” she sighed and stroked her hands through his hair, her nails skating over his scalp.

“How are you feeling, dollface?” he asked, his body throbbing with need.

“Bruce numbed everything up.” She whimpered and moaned softly when he darted his tongue out to taste her.

He hummed in pleasure but pulled away to get back to his feet and reached for her braid.

“Meanie,” she pouted.

Steve chuckled. “After we get cleaned up. Stark was right. You stink, and I can’t imagine I smell any better. Besides, he’s decreed karaoke tonight, and until then we are all free to chill.”

“Chill, huh? And just what does your definition of chill include, sjelevenn?” she asked, her nimble fingers wrapping firmly around his cock.

He gently worked her braid free and tried not to groan in delight. “Spending a serious amount of time with my girl and no clothing,” he quipped, only to bite his lip when she gave a twist to her stroking. “Baby…”

“Why don’t you wash my back, and I’ll wash yours, Steven.”

“That’s not my back, doll.”

She grinned wickedly. “I know.”

He laughed and reached for the shampoo.

Next Chapter

#rise up #steve rogers #steve x reader #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fanfiction #captain america #captain america fanfiction #captain america x reader #avengers #the avengers #avengers au #avengers fanfiction #valkyrie #fanfiction

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seenashwrite · 6 years

Note

I am considering getting an anti-possession tattoo, but I am afraid of needles. Do you have any advice?

Do I?!

I won’t ask what it is, exactly, that is trying to possess you. This is a personal matter, and I’ll assume you’ve chosen the correct design for your needs.

I shall also assume you’ll take in as finely-rendered design as possible, in black-and-white, no shading or such (unless another copy, just for their reference) so that they may clearly see what you want and make any transfers to a guide easier. I’ll ALSO-also assume you’ve vetted the shop appropriately via word of mouth and health department rating.

Having said that, what’s below is actually legit advice coming out of NashHole, Inc. for once, and I’ll shoot you straight, a bit from personal experience but mostly factoids body/anatomy-wise. Let us begin.

Sounds like this is your first one, yeah? Going off of that…

Keep it small. I don’t mean size-of-a-pencil-eraser small, I mean more in the range of fits-into-the-palm-of-your-hand dimensions at a maximum, in that ballpark.

Since you’ve got a needle worry, advise don’t go fancy - tons of colors (just one, maybe two) and shading and twisty-curlies and stuff that would make Escher tingly. Basic, basic, basic. Make this an in-and-out to the degree it’s possible.

No aspirin or ibuprofen ahead of time - the former thins blood, the latter can potentiate bleeding in some folks. Tattoos bleed, but shouldn’t go on and on and on, y’know? Think more like a moderately skinned knee - that kind’ve scattered action - no gushing or anything. Many tattoo parlors - the good ones - will refuse service if you come in and are clearly under the influence of something, be it painkiller pills or Xanax or alcohol or weed. You need to be able to give informed consent. Plus, does nobody any good if you’re puking or rambling or can’t focus on staying still. They’ll also stop cold (or should be) if you pass out.

On the subject of pre-medicating, don’t do any topical creams for numbing, if you know someone who’d write a prescription. They’re not meant for stuff like this, EMLA and others in that vein don’t penetrate to the layer where tattoos go, and are meant for one-stick jams (epidurals, port access, lumbar punctures, gums pre-Novocaine injection, quick piercings, etc.). Could it get you over the initial hump? Maybe. I’ve heard tale of it being helpful in things like the start of electrolysis in sensitive (read: genital) areas, and the quick boop! boop! boop!-s for radiation tattooing, and the start of more advanced things like wound debridement, but as for the latter, there’s very likely more pain stuff on board, as can be quite painful. I legit think it’s a waste of time and money, and that’s primarily because…

…about a third or so of the way through, you’ll notice that your body will stop going WHAT THE HELL, and it’s not that you won’t still feel it happening, but the pain receptors have gotten a handle on the sensation. The sharpness of it, for lack of better word, isn’t as striking to your brain anymore. And, of course, you’ve entered the situation by choice, vs. a situation that’s a surprise and starts setting off the whole flight-fight-freeze cascade.

Having said that? The part about your body getting used to it? Location, location, location. Choose a place that’s between bony and smushy. Those areas are gonna hurt more. You want dense, firm. Places where it has some “give” when you push in. Like, feel around your neck. Notice how in front, you can press in a lot, then as you go behind, it gets firmer. Also notice the skin - more delicate, right? Steer away from delicate. So - top of feet, top of hands, inner arms, inner thighs. And for heaven’s sake, don’t go genitalia ballpark or ass or boobs/nips for your first time.

Some will say inner wrist or inner arm is ideal, but I’m telling you: with your needle thing, it’s gonna hurt like crazy. Other areas that will hurt like crazy are the bony parts - the ones you can’t mash very far in with your fingertips. So - ankle area, to be sure (unless you’re pitching it a decent distance above, more on your lower leg, inner or outer), clavicle area (collarbone), and - again - top of hands/top of feet/fingers/toes. I cannot emphasize how vascular the inner wrist and tops of hands/feet are; there will be more blood, there just will be, and methinks that’ll ramp your anxiety unnecessarily, just choose somewhere else. “But Nash, I’m not some skinny bird bones person!” ::sighs:: This is punching deeper than you may realize, it has to in order for it to be “permanent” (they fade, as you know), so it’s gotta be a decent amount below the epidermis or else tattoos would slough away in a heartbeat. It ain’t gonna hit bone, but it sure as shit could seem like it to you, so just dodge that bullet for now, huh? Til you know how your body reacts to tattooing, pain-and-anxiety wise. You can always add to or get more.

In terms of location as related to time, and regardless of your personal body type/weight, go for as flat a surface as possible. That’s easier on the tattoo artist as well. And will help you stay still. So what are some good places that are firm but not bony or smushy?Biceps/shoulder, top of arms, top of thighs, calves, high pectoral (boobs), sternum (smack in middle of chest), possibly belly depending on your body/your weight, back of neck, and honestly, essentially the entirety of your back. Mine’s in the center of a scapula (shoulder blade), he just leaned me over a chair I sat in backwards, and my upper body was against the tilted headrest, folded my right onto a padded table he pulled over, rested my head on it, dropped the left (it’s on L scapula) to make it even surface. Piece of cake. Flat areas are also easier even if you’ve got pudge on a given place, because it’ll flatten in kind, whereas pudgy ass and big boobage just, like, spreads everywhere, it’s hard to keep it stable, so it’s gonna - naturally - take more time. Talking about your back, though, remember: if mid-back, the more it creeps around the sides, you’re getting into rib town, which - weight/amount of pudge aside - is a curved surface.

RE: the position I was in? Here’s my last tip in terms of location in the context of the needle anxiety: consider places where you won’t be able to see them doing it. This kinda goes with my “keep it small and simple” stance, you’re not gonna feel the need to watch them like a hawk to make sure they aren’t screwing up (plus, you should’ve already perused their portfolio of work to gauge their talent/style) and can concentrate on relaxing. Don’t bring a friend or family member who is giddy or hyper or chatty. Mellow. Mellllllllow.

Needle-wise, this is not like a vaccine or an IV or a blood draw, because we’re talking tiiiiiiiiny diameter and it’s sooooo fast. I mean, a stick’s a stick - it’s sharp. Different broad sensation, though, because of the rapid-fire and it’s a spread vs. concentrated in a single spot, and it’s not like a vaccine (deep into muscle) or Novocaine/Lidocaine for root canal/suturing (moderately deep/not into muscle) or an IV/blood draw (miiiildly deep, into vein) because those leave a bruise or lasting ache once all’s said and done. This’ll be sore and have some puffy inflammation when it’s over but more in the dermatology sense. You don’t feel like there’s this hole bored into you that’s trying to heal up, in other words. May get itchy later, too. (don’t scratch!)

Last, wear clothes that can slip off the area, or just one part can be taken off. RE: mine on the scapula - I wore a tank top and just took off my outer button-down, then slipped the strap and my bra strap off my arm. So think ahead depending on location - for instance, loose athletic pants with drawstring (scoots easy for lower back, rolls up easy for lower leg).

And remember: you can always stop. I know, I know, it might mean you’ve got, like, a line in bright purple on your lower back, but like I said, you can always add to it once you re-group, try again later.

#Dear Nash #NONNERS #Not Tyler Durden #I swear #Queueby Dooby Doo #Dad's on a blog post and #he hasn't been queued in a few days

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thequeensfan1117 · 6 years

Text

Wisdom and Care (Draft 1)

Fandom: Glee Summary: Kurt tends to Adam after a trip to the dentist. Characters: Kurt Hummel, Adam Crawford Note: Written for Kadam Week 2017. Day 3 Prompt: “One of the guys has wisdom tooth/teeth out (or other dental misery) and needs a little TLC.”

Kurt slid the door to the loft open with a little more difficulty than usual. Adam was still a little woozy from whatever dosage of Novocaine the dentist had given him, and as such, he wobbled from time to time on the way back to Bushwick. Out of the corner of his eye, Kurt saw him lean back against the wall opposite the door so as to hold himself up better. He worked on getting it completely open, and as soon as it was, he went over to his boyfriend and held him steady while the two of them crossed the threshold.

“Easy does it,” Kurt cooed.

He walked with Adam to the couch and set him down in a sitting position. Once he was sure that Adam wouldn’t fall off, he crossed the loft and closed the door again. On his way back, he stopped at the kitchen area in order to grab a towel and the ice pack Santana had purchased after one of Kurt’s mishaps.

“Kuht – ”

He quickly rushed back to Adam’s side and sat on the couch facing him. With a soft shushing noise, he lifted the pack and pressed it gently to Adam’s cheek. Despite a little fidgeting, he eventually relaxed into Kurt. The two held onto each other’s hands almost on instinct.

“Try not to talk too much, love,” Kurt said.

Adam nodded quite reluctantly.

“You said he said the bleeding should stop by tomorrow?”

Another nod. Kurt smiled and continued to press the ice pack against Adam. He hoped that it would help soothe the pain a little bit. Even if Adam didn’t need very much help, Kurt knew he would feel quite useless if he did nothing for his boyfriend. However, he didn’t know how Adam would take his need to be there for him during the first 24 hours. Would he freak out and demand that Kurt back off?

“That’s good. Maybe then you can watch over the Apples practice even if you can’t sing with us for a while.”

Kurt found that he could barely stop himself from speaking, and wondered why that was. He wasn’t exactly panicking over the whole issue, and neither was Adam. There was therefore no immediate need for them to soothe each other’s nerves.

“‘id we ge’ gaushe?” Adam asked all of a sudden.

“Gauze?” Kurt repeated immediately.

At his boyfriend’s nod, he realized that they hadn’t stopped at all on the way to the loft. Kurt was just about to mentally kick himself for that realization until he remembered there was a box of gauze pads in the bathroom area. There had yet been no need to use them, but he and Rachel always insisted on having a full first-aid kit in case something happened to either one of them or to Santana. After all, one never knew what injuries one could sustain while performing in front of a crowd.

“We didn’t get any, but there’s some in here,” he said at last. “Hang on. I’ll go get it.”

As he went to get it, however, he felt one of Adam’s hands take a hold of his wrist. He turned around curiously and found himself looking deeply into those blue eyes.

“’hank you,” Adam said simply.

Despite the temptation to simply remind him to not speak if he could avoid it, Kurt smiled and addressed him softly.

“What for?”

Adam seemed to need a few seconds to process what he’d just asked. Evidently the Novocaine hadn’t yet begun to wear off.

“Been wi’ me,” was the reply.

Kurt could barely make out what his boyfriend said, at first. But as he finally caught the meaning of the words, his small smile grew just a little bigger. He took Adam’s free hand with his own and squeezed it lightly.

“Of course I’m here with you. I know we haven’t been together very long, but I.. I care about you so much.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Kurt felt his cheeks growing hot. He reluctantly freed himself from his boyfriend’s grasp and hurried to the bathroom. As sweet as Adam was, their relationship was still very new. No. He had to be positive here. Opening the medicine cabinet and grabbing the gauze (along with a bottle of Advil just in case), he went back to the couch and prepared to face Adam’s response head-on.

Adam looked as if he were about to pass out as he removed the ice pack from his cheek in order to pull the gauze pad away from the back of his mouth. Focusing on a pulling a fresh pad out of the box instead of on the bloody one on the floor, he handed it over.

“I brought the ibuprofen, too, in case it hurts too much,” he said absently.

Adam said nothing as he gently bit down on the new gauze pad. However, judging by the look in his eyes, Kurt really had nothing to fear after what he’s just said. It might have been entirely too early for use of the ‘l’ word, but he knew that as long as he could stand by the handsome Englishman, that didn’t really matter at the moment.

#glee fic #kadam fic

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daughterofgaston · 7 years

Text

Dentophobia

Overview: Brianna has a major toothache, but a severe fear of the dentist. Can Evie help her overcome this fear?

Warnings: Dentists, swearing

Words: 1,677

A/N: I’m trying my hand out at a personalized imagine, so depending on how well this goes I’ll see if I can make this a regular thing! I might stick with reader inserts though! Lol, and can I say I relate to the fear of the dentist on a personal level? Haha!

You never really think much of your teeth until they start feeling like it’s their sole mission in life to hurt you. Well, that’s at least how it was for Brianna.

“Mal, pass me the blue paint,” Brianna said as she worked on blending a couple colors together. Painting was her way of bonding with her older sister in Auradon because it wasn’t like she was able to go around stealing candy from babies like they did on the Isle. Mal nodded, tossing the paint towards her sister and brushing her dark purple hair out of her face.

“What is it that you’re painting?” Mal asked curiously as she finished up her painting, it just being a portrait of Belle and Adam she was making for their wedding anniversary.

“Well, I always thought-oh shit,” Brianna said, dropping the paint brush and gripping her cheek, biting her lip and whimpering some. Her tooth had recently started bothering her on and off, and the pain only seemed to be getting worse.

“Is it your tooth again?” Mal asked, frowning as she headed over to her younger sister and looking at her with worry. When Brianna nodded, Mal gave a sigh. “Bri, you need to go to the dentist, it’s only going to keep getting worse if you put it off. So don’t argue, we’re going. I’ll see if Ben can get you in.” Mal said, pulling her phone out to text her boyfriend.

“But Mal-” Brianna started to argue, feeling her heartbeat quicken at the thought of having to go to the dentist. Ever since a traumatic experience with a dentist when she was younger she had a severe fear of the dentists, which lead to situations similar to this happening fairly frequently. Although Brianna quickly quieted down when Mal gave her a pretty stern look, Brianna knew better than to argue with her sister.

After Mal texted with Ben for a couple minutes, she looked at Brianna. “Would you feel better if I brought Jay and Carlos along? That way their stupidity might help you feel better.” Mal said, not meaning that the two of them were stupid but more so that the both of them tended to do some pretty ridiculous things. Brianna nodded, although she still didn’t want to go.

About an hour later, the four of them were seated in the dentist's office that was there on campus, Carlos and Jay doing a small debate over who knows what, Mal reading a book, and Brianna just tensely sitting in the seat looking around the waiting room. It looked like a typical waiting room, posters of teeth everywhere along with some cartoonish ones for younger patients, and on the far wall held a giant fish tank with all sorts of different exotic fish.

“Do I have to be here?” Brianna whispered to Mal who just nodded and otherwise ignored her sister, who huffed and crossed her arms, biting her lip and trying to hype herself up.

“Come on, Bri, don’t be so worried. The dentist is here to help you, not hurt you.” Jay encouraged, reaching over and patting her on the back. “Besides, we’re all here with you. Nothing bad will happen.” Jay said, looking up when the door to the waiting room opened and a dental assistant walked in, smiling.

“Brianna?” She said, and Mal stood up since only one other person could be in the actual room. Mal looked at Brianna and motioned for her to stand up, putting her arm around her.

“Don’t worry. I got your back.” Mal encouraged. “And hey, the sooner we get this finished with, the sooner you don’t have to deal with the dentist.” She said, hoping that would make her sister a little more comfortable.

Upon entering the examination room, Brianna cautiously sat down on the seat and did as the dental assistant said, biting her lip anxiously after she left to go and talk to another patient about something. “You know what? My tooth doesn’t really hurt that much, why don’t we just go?” Brianna said, starting to try to get up and frowning when Mal glared at her. “Or not,” Brianna mumbled, sitting down.

“There you go. Everything will be okay.” Mal said, smiling and patting her hand, looking over when an older man walked in followed by two younger guys, who Brianna immediately recognized as Ben and Harry, feeling her heart stop when she saw them.

What the hell were they doing here?? Were they going to see the inside of my mouth?? Brianna thought anxiously, wishing she could just sink into herself as she looked at the two of them. “Hello, how’s everyone doing today?” The dentist asked as he went to grab his gloves. “I hope you don’t mind, they’re shadowing me for the day.” The dentist said as he went to sit in the seat next to the frightened girl.

After the initial check up, the dentist found it was just a really bad cavity that was causing the severe pain. “Now, luckily it’s not bad enough for a root canal, but it is a little large for a filling, so what we’re going to do is we’re going to give you a crown to cover that tooth to keep it from getting any worse. I’ll fill it as best as I can today before prepping for the crown though.” The dentist said to Mal and Brianna, going over to the table with all the tools to get the filling done.

However, once Brianna caught sight of the needle to give her the novocaine, she immediately shook her head. “Fuck this, I’m out.” She said, getting out of the chair and quickly high tailing it out of the office, everyone a bit too shocked to really do anything in that moment.

“Brianna!” Mal yelled once the shock wore off, but by that point, it was already too late. Brianna had exited through a back entrance so she wouldn’t have to run past Jay and Carlos who were there to prevent this exact thing from happening, and she quickly ran to the dormitories and inside her own, going into the closet to sit there and hopefully not be caught.

After an unknown amount of time, she heard her door open and footsteps come in. “Bri? Bri, it’s Evie...are you in here? Mal texted me wanting to check on you...” Evie’s soft voice said as she looked around the room, and Brianna bit her lip. She had a crush on the blue-haired girl, and Evie always knew just how to help her feel better. Finally, after a few moments of debating with herself, Brianna finally spoke up to let Evie know she was there.

“In here,” Brianna said softly, listening to the sounds of Evie’s heel’s headed over her way, the door opening and Evie kneeling down in front of Brianna.

“Brianna, hey...wanna come out here? We can just sit on the bed and talk.” Evie said gently, not going to force her if she didn’t want to, that would just make the whole situation ten times worse. After Brianna nodded and the two of them were seated on the bed, Evie looked at Brianna. “So what happened?” She asked.

“Well...I guess it’s kinda silly. But I’ve never liked the dentist, never. So I try to avoid going at all costs...well, Mal decided I needed to go today so we went so that already has me on edge...next thing I know Ben and Harry are in there too since I guess they’re shadowing for the day or whatever... and not to mention that but I found out he’s going to have to give me a crown and he wanted to fill in the cavity some before giving me a crown and he went to get the needle and I just panicked and headed out of there as quick as possible.” Brianna said, feeling her heartbeat increasing as she thought about the events and she frowned, looking at her hands and sure that Evie thought of her as a baby, looking over at her when Evie took Brianna’s hand.

“It’s not silly, Brianna. You’re afraid, everyone’s afraid of something. The thing is, you can’t let that fear get in the way of doing what needs to be done. Now, I know that’s easier said than done, but know that we all have your back, and we all just want you to feel better...and you know what? I won’t make you go back to the dentist's office, even though that’s what Mal wants me to do. Although if you feel like you’re ready, I’d be happy to go in with you and hold your hand the entire time.” Evie said gently as she looked at the blue-eyed girl, giving her a small smile.

Brianna took a deep breath, looking at their intertwined hands and biting her lip before sighing. “I’m going to regret this...but let's head back to the dentist.” She mumbled, standing up and feeling shaky, and Evie smiled.

“Let’s go.” She encouraged.

Upon arriving at the dentist, Evie stayed by Brianna’s side and held her hand, whispering soft encouragements to her whenever she began to show just how scared she was. “You’re doing great, Bri, really! I’m so proud of you!” Evie encouraged, smiling at her and rubbing her arm some. “Just a little longer and then you’ll be done,” Evie assured her.

And sure enough, the dentist finished up maybe a couple minutes later, setting the tools down and turning out the overhead light. “And you’re done, you did great, Brianna. Now, you will have to come back in a couple weeks for your crown, and then you’ll be good to go.” The dentist assured her kindly, smiling and helping her sit up, telling her the usual things dentists say like ‘floss more’ and ‘don’t eat until the numb wears off,’ although Brianna didn’t listen to him since she just wanted the hell out of there.

Although she did have to admit...the dentist wasn’t quite as scary when Evie was there.

#descendants mal #descendants ben #ben descendants #harry hook #harry hook imagines #mal imagines #descendants mal imagine #descendants evie #descendants evie imagine #evie imagine #descendants jay #carlos de vil #dentists #disney descendants #disney descendants imagine #descendants imagine #descendants au #evie x reader

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kl4us4 · 7 years

Text

THE RED STRING

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Song: Novocaine - Fall Out Boy

A/N: hey everyone, here’s chapter 18 ily all

masterlist

TRS masterlist

You’re angry. Extremely angry. You pace from corner to corner, each step making you more anxious and livid as the piece of paper crumbles in your hand. Mentally, you prepare yourself to be able to see his bloodied and beaten face. Upstairs is Lincoln being interrogated by Bellamy Blake - the man who thinks he knows everything. He thinks you’re weak, he definitely does. Your mind is full of red, boiling thoughts on what to say to Bellamy, that’s how vexed you are.

He literally went out of his way to track back to Lincoln with his herd of sheep just so he can essentially kidnap him. What threat does he see in Lincoln? What is Bellamy trying to neutralize? The grounder himself... or his likeness to Octavia?

Octavia. The girl in the floor. She’s come such a long way from being that. Now, she’s the first skyperson to step foot on Earth in a hundred years. Despite growing up with basically no childhood, the dark-haired, blue-eyed, ball of energy and sass has already made history.

And now even though she’s made her own friend, he’s in being held captive because he’s different - because he’s a grounder. In O’s mind, she feels completely helpless. There’s so much she wants to do to help him but against her brother, she barely stands a chance.

Maybe that’s why you’re the first person she came to. The dark clouds block out any sun that was once a visible spectre and you wonder if it even exists anymore. The drastic change in not only temperature but in light has led you to think about how long of a life the sun has left.

The winds from the east race through every tree, every leaf, all throughout the forest, emitting ominous voices and whispers from them. Sighing to yourself, you thank the jacket you’re wearing for holding up to well during your time on the ground. It has been through a lot - very much like you and the 100.

Your foot taps against the floor rapidly as your eyes stay on the closed hatch. You tuck the paper in your thick jacket pocket, knowing what you have to do. The rhythmic beating of your heart shoots you forward, making you quickly climb up to the locked door.

You commence banging your fist against it loudly, not caring for the pain that shoots through your hand. The sound of the hatch opening makes you pause. You wait nervously.

Bellamy, knowing full well who could be knocking so persistently, pulls back the small door and looks down at you. When he gives you an expectant look, you speak up. “How is the interrogation going?” The question comes out of your mouth too calmly and it sounds odd. It doesn’t reflect what you’re feeling on the inside.

Already, he knows somethings up. Bellamy studies your face, letting his eyes drift to your lips to your exposed neck. He secretly admires you from this angle. “What do you want?” He sighs, furrowing his eyebrows slightly.

“I imagine it’s not going well.” You speculate, ignoring his forward question. When you don’t get a reaction or rise from the man, you answer him reluctantly. “I want to see him.”

He furrows his eyebrows, leaning forward slightly to let his breath fan over the bottom of your chin. You know he’s trying to make you nervous, trying to make you stumble over your words like he did during your trek to Mount Weather during the first day. You’re not having it. “Why would I let you up here?”

Damn, well he has a good point. Might as well give up now with the way he’s staring at you, waiting for an answer. You were hoping he would look past your rocky history and realise that you didn’t hate or suspect Lincoln of being against Skypeople. You thought Linc could be your friend, not your enemy.

Holding back an eye roll that’s mainly aimed at yourself, you pull yourself up on the ladder without any warning or indication. This causes Bellamy to quickly shift back in fear of you falling.

“Because,” you continue as you step up much to Bellamy’s annoyance. He watches you the whole time in contrast to you keeping your eyes on Lincoln. “I think I can actually get through to him.”

Your brave facade holds tightly to your features like a shield covering you from pain. Seeing anyone - let alone an innocent person - like this hurts. It hurts because all you wanted to do is help; that’s all you’ve ever wanted to do. You wanted to help your father, your mother... even Bellamy Blake who was a stranger when you met him. Lincoln is no different.

As your eyes gloss over the mans state in hidden shock, Bellamy watches you watching him and he feels a slight punch of envy in his stomach. You clearly care about the grounder before you, despite knowing him for a day or two. He wonders if you care about him like you seem to care about Lincoln. But he knows it’s futile.

“You look like shit.” You comment in a joking manner, trying to lighten the mood that strikes your loud heart. If you don’t joke about this you’re scared you’ll end up acting out and that’ll just ruin everything you have set up.

“Look.” Rolling his eyes at your childishness, Bellamy stands beside you as he narrows his eyes at Lincoln. “If you think you’re going to get a word out of him, you’re wrong. I’ve already tried.”

“Yeah,” you note, acknowledging him, “But I’m not you.”

He shifts from his left foot to his right. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means,” you continue, turning to the tan boy. “That he won’t talk to me if you’re here. You need to leave, Bellamy.”

As you begin walking over to the instrument table, you look over all the silver stained, hand-made knives that were used on Lincoln. You’re glad that Bellamy decides to pull you back by your wrist because if he hadn’t you’re sure you would have thrown up.

“No.” Bellamy almost laughs in your face. “I don’t trust you.” He looks back at Lincoln and he is met with the familiar, silent glare.

Blinking for a few seconds, you decide you don’t need to fake anything anymore. You genuinely want to talk to Lincoln. “I remember when I didn’t trust you.” You look at Bellamy only for a few seconds before your eyes are met with the metal ground, “And then we were finding Jasper, in that field and there was a panther coming straight for me. And you saved my life.” You pause, letting your words along with your gaze sink into him. “I still do trust you even if it’s a only a little,” you laugh, “Can you do the same? For me?”

“Y/N.” He speaks lower now. Bellamy didn’t realise his heart would be beating so fast and all you’ve done is talk to him. It could be that he realises that it’s sincere and real and he likes it on you. “What’s worse is that I don’t trust him as far as I could throw him.”

The note in your pocket seems to scream your name urgently and it’s not something you can ignore. Wearing a slightly hurt and disappointed look, you place your hand onto Bellamy’s forearm. “Can I speak to him alone, please?”

Your eyes stay on his and you watch them dart from you, back to Lincoln in the far side of the room. He’s the weak one now, it’s obvious. He’s going to give in. Bellamy lets out a small sigh as he closes his eyes. He’s about to give in...

“Five minutes.” He gives in!

Giving him a small nod, he leaves the drop ship room and when the sound of the hatch door echoes through the room, you look back to check if he’s really gone. Quickly rushing up to Lincoln, you shove your hand in your pocket and dig for the paper. He watches quizzically.

“I know you won’t talk to Bellamy but I’m not him. I’m not like him at all.” You rush your words together, repeating the words you spoke to Bellamy before. “I’m not on his side… but I’m not on yours either. I’m just doing what I think is right despite everyone else.” The paper is heavy in your hands despite there only being scribbled handwriting from Octavia on it. You stretch it out in front of his face and his eyes scan it over and over again, closing as a sign of relief. “Octavia and I… we’re going to get you out of here. We just need time. You need to hold on until we can sort it all out. Can you do that? For Octavia?”

Lincoln looks up, the dark paint framing his eyes is smudged and streaked but his eyes are focused. It mirrors his body, full of cuts and marks but his mind mentally is prepared. He gives you a nod and that’s all it takes for you to know he’s on board.

You guess at this point it’s only a matter of time before they realise that he’s not going to tell them anything and who knows what’ll happen when they come to that conclusion. You’re the only chance he’s got. It’s only been two minutes but you fold the paper into your pocket and leave anyway.

Bellamy watches you descend the ladder, wondering why you decided to leave so quickly. He thought he was being generous giving you five minutes but clearly you didn’t need that long. Something makes him keep his eyes on you longer as you step off the ladder and tug your coat closer to your body.

The food has been distributed, Ravens still working on the radio. Now all that is left to do is begin your plan. You look up, meeting his eyes for a moment. A smile makes it’s way to your lips and though it’s small and awkward, he startlingly returns it after a second of shock.

Taking an initial step in the direction of outside the dropship, you listen to the wind shaking the trees viciously but decide to go anyways. You know that’s where Murphy most likely is. And right now, he’s who you need.

You leave Bellamy’s sight, closing the fabric door tightly after you. There, just like you though, stands John Murphy with a few idiots he calls friends. "Oh look, the Queen is away from her King." Murphy comments, making you visibly cringe.

You place your hands on your hips, giving Murphy an unamused expression. "Oh look, Murphy and his two boyfriends are playing with each other behind the Dropship."

"Shut up." He quickly responds, rolling his eyes before he pulls you away from his friends. "What the hell do you want, Y/N?"

You sigh, tapping your fingers against your hip rapidly. "I never thought I'd say this but... need your help."

"Wow," Murphy laughs lightly and for once you think you can see the mask he always wears fall off, "Honestly I never thought you would ever say that either. No." He turn and you're left stunned. You haven't even told him what you need.

"What?"

"You heard me." He shouts back, sauntering over to his friends who talk to watch other bitterly. Rushing over to him, you stand before him in efforts to block his path but you know that if Murphy really didn't care, he would just push you out of his way.

"Wait! Listen to me and listen clearly." You begin, the tone of your voice low and quiet so much so that he has to lean in to hear you over the weather, "In thirty minutes, you're going to go up the hatch to Bellamy. You're going to lure him out of camp."

"You know you're not good at intimidating, right?" He muses, leaning closer to speak to you quietly. With a roll of your eyes, you continue talking.

"You're the only person he trusts. Plus," you add with a shrug, "I'm sure you're fine with lying."

"Hm." He crosses his arms as you step back from him. His eyes glance at his friends behind you, hollering for him to come back. "Why do you need him out of camp?"

You pause, letting your thoughts simmer. Can you tell Murphy? Or does he dislike grounders too? "If you're going to help me, it's no questions asked."

With a bored sigh, Murphy takes a step in the direction of his friends but he keeps his eyes on you. "Well then, I guess in 30 minutes you'll know where I'll be."

Breathing a sigh of relief, you feel an upbeat sense of pride within you. Your plan is coming along. If Murphy is successful in getting Bellamy away from Lincoln - which, let’s face it, should not be hard at all - then you and Octavia can get him out of there as quick as possible.

It almost seems fool proof but the feeling in your gut makes you feel otherwise. Why does something feel off? "Thank you." You thank Murphy, giving him an uneasy nod. He returns it with a sly smirk of his own as he walks away.

However, before he can reach his friends he turns back to you. "Oh, by the way." He addresses you, just as you're about to head to the drop ship. "Meet me in the Dropship once your top secret mission is over."

Giving him a skeptical look, you narrow your eyes at the tall, skinny boy. "Why?" You ask, feeling the uneasiness intensify greatly. But you have to push it aside. You have a plan and a job to do.

All he does is shrug, turning back around before yelling back to you above the screeching of the wind. "No questions asked."

TAG LIST: @doctorwhoandrory @feelins-fadin @jaib2-blog @justacrush @cainismyname @the-grounder-girl (if you would like to be added to this for TRS, inbox me!)

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surveys4ever · 3 years

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What’s the last vegetable you ate, and when did you eat it? I put red bell peppers in the breakfast burritos we had for dinner last night!

What was your last Facebook notification for? Someone requested to join a group I admin.

What bands have you seen live? Sadly I haven’t seen many bands live. Last ones I saw were Paramore and X Ambassadors!

Tell me an interesting fact about your mother: Ummm...she got weight loss surgery a few years ago.

What do you think is the most important thing to happen to you before the age of 13? My dad left and my mom remarried and had a bunch more kids she likes more than me.

What were you super against as a young child but aren’t anymore? Cheesecake, broccoli, water, atheists. Now cheesecake is my favorite, I love broccoli, water is the only thing I drink, and I AM an atheist.

What are your plans later today? I have to shower and make dinner. Other than that idk.

Are you doing anything exciting this weekend? Sadly probably not. Beebs works so I’m probably just gonna work on a sewing project or something.

Who do you talk to the most? My husband or our dog!

What are some things you do regularly that make you feel old? Go on TikTok.

Who is your best guy friend(s)? My husband!

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? I’m good where I’m at!

If you had a tiny scar on your face, would you get it removed or just keep it? It depends on the scar and its placement. I’d probably get it removed tho.

Have you had an x-ray in the past year? Nope! Last one was in the 9th grade.

Do you think your first love still loves you? I’d sure hope so.

What is something that is “going right” in your life? We’re debt free for the first time since we got married, my husband is fixed, and we just finished getting a bunch of repairs done on our car!

When did you feel ready to start dating? I don’t think there was a moment I decided I was ready...it just happened!

When was the last time your pet bit you? If you don’t have a pet, have you ever been bitten by someone else’s? I mean...she’s never bitten me maliciously! Just playfully.

Where were you the last time you made out? In bed I believe.

When was the last time you cried tears of joy? When a company I’ve loved forever sent me a massive PR box with so much more than I could have ever expected. I sat on the kitchen floor and cried.

How do you type your sad smileys? :(

Do you have “decorative hand-towels” that cannot be used in your house? Nah!

What was the last soda you drank? I had a coke slushie earlier!

What was the last thing someone made fun of you for? I’m not sure! It was probably something silly my husband was teasing me for.

Have you ever had any type of surgery? No, thank god.

Should kids be allowed to get tattoos/piercings without parental consent? Yeah. It’s their body!

Who was the last person to hit on you? Some weirdo on the internet told me my bellybutton must smell like roses.

What was the last thing you decided not to do, that you were supposed to? Shower..oops.

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to tell someone? I don’t know!

What do you put on hot dogs? Mayo, ketchup, mustard, and cheese.

Ever fallen in the shower? Slipped but not fallen!

Do you think that things will get better? I really hope so!

Have you ever legitimately saved a person’s life? Yup.

What’s your favourite book genre? I don’t know if I have one!

Have you ever walked out of a movie at the theatre? I almost walked out of Toy Story 4 because the people behind us were so goddamn rude and their kid kept pulling my hair.

Do dogs like you? Oh hell yeah.

Would you say that you project an air of authority? Maybe? I’m a bossy Capricorn so I exude some level of leadership but I’m also not comfortable being in charge of anyone.

Have you ever jumped off a high dive into a pool? Absolutely not.

Do you use one towel when you shower or two? Two! One for my hair and one for my body.

Have you ever been to one of the great lakes? Nope!

Who do you know that had a baby recently? Um! Lots of Facebook friends but no one personally.

Do you like Usher’s songs? Eh! They’re alright.

When was the last time you went to a waterpark? Oh god. Like 15 years ago.

Have you ever ridden a train? When I was a young tot, yes!

What do you eat your French fries with? Depends on the fry! Ranch is usually my favorite.

Do you have family problems? Hahahahaha....hahahaha...yes. So fucking many.

What’s the last food you ate that was stale? I don’t know? I don’t eat stale food very often.

How do you like your grilled cheese? Extra cheesy with tomato soup!

What is the most challenging meal you have ever cooked? Pasta aglio e olio!

What was your favorite thing to do as a little kid? Spend time with my grandma!

Have you ever been close to drowning? Nope.

Have you ever had a panic attack? Ugh, many times. They are terrifying.

Do you like doing housework? Sometimes! Other times I’d rather do l i t e r a l l y anything else.

Would you ever get implants? I want a breast lift but I’m afraid to go under anesthesia.

Do you own a robe? A few, yeah!

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Yup, but that’s none of your beeswax.

Do you like crust on pizza or do you cut it off? If it’s dominos, I just toss it but if it’s anything else, I’ll eat it!

What was the last song you listened to? I Don’t Wanna Wait by Paula Cole.

Have any of your family members been to jail? In laws, yes!

Is there anyone that you feel you still need some closure with? Yeah, sadly.

Can you remember when you first learned how to read? Yup! Kindergarten.

What event in your life has transformed your personality the most? Probably having to give up my childhood to be the big sister. I’m inherently motherly, I take care of everyone, but I have no desire to be a mother.

Have you ever had any teeth pulled? Just my wisdoms!

Do you still want to be what you wanted to be in elementary school? I wanted to be famous.

What’re some TV shows that you would like to get into? I feel like I watch all of the shows that interest me!

How would you feel if you were drafted for the military? Uh...no.

What is your favorite Queen song? Fat Bottomed Girls!

Do you know how to use any foreign currency? Well yeah but I mean...I’m not sure what there is to know about it? You go to the bank, exchange your money for the other money, and then spend it as you see fit. It’s a lot easier to just use your bank card tho.

Been kissed by someone who you knew was “bad” for you? Nope!

Ever taken an at-home pregnancy test? Yeahhhh, sadly. My period is a little bitch who likes to show up late a lot and I’m an anxious mess so I usually take tests to give me some peace of mind while I wait.

When was the last time you were at a loss of what to do? I’m never at a loss of what to do!

What did you do on your favorite date with a guy/girl? We went to a theme park! It was absolutely magical.

What’s a movie you have seen in the theater more than once? Inside out and Just Friends! We saw Inside Out by ourselves, with my husband’s best friend, and then with my family just because it was so fkn good. And then my best friend at the time was obsessed with Ryan Reynolds and saw it I think like 10 times by herself, 2 of which were with me.

What is the reason you’re still alive? My heart is still pumping?

Have you ever had sex in someone else’s bed/bedroom? I’ve had sex in my parents’ hotel room while they were down at the pool...sorry mom.

Do you ever brush your hair before you go to bed? I never brush my hair except for right after a shower. I have curly hair and brushing it is the literal worst thing you can do.

Have you ever had a dream about sleeping with a celebrity? (You don’t have to give details.) I don’t believe so!

Has anyone ever told you that they needed you? Do you think they meant it? Yes and yes!

How did you feel when you woke up today? What was the first thing you thought about? Bleary! My husband was calling me to wake me up.

Do you still tell your parents that you love them? I do, even when I don’t really want to.

Have you ever said “I love you” to someone you weren’t going out with? Friends and family, yeah.

Would you date someone with a physical disability? I mean, I'm married, but in a theoretical world where I was single, that wouldn’t be something that would deter me if I loved someone.

Think of the last person you had sex with. Do you think they’ve slept with anyone else since they last slept with you? He has not!

The last time you dyed your hair, what color did you dye it? Purple! That was only like 2 weeks ago.

Think of the last time you went out to eat. Who paid? We did!

Do you save at least 15 percent of your income? 20%, actually!

Do you ever go on Reddit? If so, what are some of your favorite subreddits? I’ve only ever gone to Reddit because Google suggested it to me to answer a question I had.

Were you ever a flower girl or ring bearer in anyone’s wedding when you were little? I was only 4 but I guess I was my mom’s maid of honor/flower girl at her wedding.

Are your parents in good health? My mom is but my dad has high cholesterol and bad back pain. Nothing super serious tho.

Have you ever been a caregiver to a sick/disabled relative? Nope!

Is there any type of medicine you can’t take? For what reason? Not that I’m aware of but most medications have weird affects on me. NyQuil makes me hallucinate, Novocaine makes me loopy, and oui’d makes me see shit, so?

Do you have a favorite pair of pajamas? What do they look like? I really just wear a T-shirt and shorts to bed.

Do you have any interesting pillow cases? All my pillow cases rn are vintage and I love them!

If something on your body hurts, which part is it most likely to be? I just have really sensitive feet and every pair rubs them raw or causes blisters/bleeding so they usually hurt.

Are you more afraid of spiders or bees? Spiders, definitely.

Have you ever worn fake nails? If so, what did the last pair you wore look like? I had acrylics for a year! I don’t remember the last set I had on tho.

Is Russian or Native American history more interesting to you? Native American.

#survey

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beninya-blog · 7 years

Text

Well today I fucked up by!

Going to the wrong fucking Dentist! Got a pretty severe infection in lower jaw due to a broke second to last mauler snapped off right on gum line! Had already gotten root canal on it so didn’t hurt and wasn’t sharp. Didn’t cut mouth tongue so I said I just gonna leave it! Its all good! Well not good idea! Hears why! Food finally worked its way through rotten base of tooth which started the path to the FUD! Fucked Up Day! I was broke. Lol so I had to go can’t let mouth infection go! It will kill you! Infection will move right to heart! Then you will move to the morgue! So hospital it is! Went in thinking ok 4 hours minimum, antibiotics, pain pills, maybe six hours ill be fixed! I was wrong they took me straight back Doc was in room waiting on me damn thinking maybe she wanted my cock while she fixed me! Not! She just ready to cure, fix, show everything she’s the shit! That’s why she’s a dumb Doctor that face fucked me hot female that yeah knew more than anyone especially men! Her strongest asset was coupled backwards with her super Ho dumb Er doc know everything side of thinking that made her below adverage she is the best doc ever is what stops her a self made wall for being that super top bitch! Not a damn human in ER! I was like what the fuck! First time for everything! Turns out that’s as good as it ever gets! Walk Yeah your right infected But you caught it early! Good job! Give you this Clendomycyin “spelling wrong” and these 20 perks you’ll be good to go! She’s the dr.! Ok! Yeah no! She should have given me stronger antibiotics matter of fact should have given me iv antibiotics and oral then You would even know me! Why cause woke up two days later with a knot under jaw! Very intense pain! And it was moving into my throat! Fucker wanting that strongest muscle eat, on its mission to kill the top muscle! Heading to heart! Yeah damn right she fucked me in the ass! I lost that loving feeling that I will soon will experience first hand! That I got this Ho doc made a brother feel like a 18 wheeler full facecloth of make you itch causing scratch proof Novocain that can’t be scratch instead you scratch off a lip the itch stays! To top it off! You get what you always wanted to find! But with that horrible super Novocain that never wears off! Lasts forever! Hell just wanted Morphine shit would settle for hydros that never wore off!. Hell no bitch removed your head forever! 100mph face impact!instantly changing my identity to a faceless, lipless whole lower lip tripping drink spilling, shirt staining no pussy eating fine girls don’t want you guy! Like a blind dentist shot me up with a kilo of that long term super alien Novocain! Hell no more kissing which was the most bestest thing ever! The dick ignition system the riser, and Hardner removed forever! Kissing was for me a powerful viagra! Now “thank you miss I got your best interest in mine you emergency room think she I knows and can fix all doctor! Nope! Bitch didn’t even tell me well sorry might never get it back either! She said will get it this time!No worries! Truthfully most of them are the best doctors and can do just about anything! Well bitch take your lip losing ass into another line like paper cut stitching position in like Mexico and tell yourself damn I really am not that great, water walking doc that I tell myself in the mirror your the shit I fix anything, except that damn one lost lip! I just couldn’t tell him that never again will the cock rise from the lip locking, oh and you were a superman kissing superhero which made everyone of the hotties wet, and in love! Not ever again yours ass went from hero to zero with the lip power! You cant feel what’s happening you breaking tell tonguing them gums or made be her nose! You don’t know! Ever again! So now you can only get a ugly girl who don’t mind if you suck at kissing she just glad to get that still feeling phat super cock! How much you just lost because of her! The list is long! How many times will you not your lip off! Miss your mouth on food, coffee! Forget making your girl cum while licking the pussy! She will have to guide your no feeling face lips into the spot! Damn right that bitch needs to be shot and she doesn’t even say damn I’m sorry I just fucked well everything up forever in your life! Want can I do for you? Overdose you with the best high drug we got then bring you back with narcan only to smack you again when ever you want for life! Oh because your such a gimp now I’ll throw in some top grade liquid cocaine, for life! Really you I would not feel like a good Ho if I didn’t you power fuck my face, ass, tits, mouth while I am given you the drugs that are keeping you from jumping off a bridge! And yes my daughter to! I did screw you so bad! I owe you my worthless body for ever! No insist because I haven’t finished! Not once but twice I got fucked up by same bitch! She sent you to the best dentist in town for your mass infected, nerve dead head that is just lipless! At least you got some feeling in your tongue! Nope never get that contract for dick slamming or daughter rimming that’s a pipe dream! Shit I didn’t even get a sorry! You got some reason go the dentist she said! Dump ass fucked three damn times in one day! On a fucking role! Everything seems fine doctor seems like the one! We have to wait a week your infection is very bad! I’m sure very painful to! Let me give you something that will take care of that and just stay on those antibiotics she gave you! Really doctor it’s only got worse on them like lost my face! Oh yeah they will be fine! Here take these 7.5 hydros now don’t take them unless you really, really need it! I’m only giving you 8 I’m stingy with these. I said really, no! I said I can tell you I need those and about 40 10perks! Cause I’m gonna take all eight at once of those just not enough pain killer your given! Oh no your lipless, gonna be sorry not one but got to take both molars yeah sorry even tho it’s ok tooth and gonna have to gum food on that side now. Bad infection can’t take chance you could die! Oh and not sure if you knew the loss of feeling just gave you gimp status! Prolly never come back I was like really?

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