#still proud of this comic . i dunno what came over me earlier today :

[spookythesillyfella]

a silly comic for the tsp roadtrip thread by @/employee052 !!! ^_^

[gwennavierre]

Doki doki

Adrien realizes something about his everyday ladybug.

Ladybug realizes something about her kitty.

-----

Marinette was a busy person. School, crushes, liars, bullies, akumas, friendship drama... those were things most teens in Paris dealt with, but Marinette was also Ladybug, the Guardian of the Miracle Box, and a budding fashion designer.

While others ran to hide from akumas, Marinette transformed into Ladybug to fight and defeat them with the help of Chat Noir and the occasional temporary miraculous holder.

While her classmates got to go to bed at a reasonable time after doing homework, Marinette stayed up for hours getting to know the kwamis and work out who would best be suited to be a temporary holder for them when needed.

And while other teens practiced their passions in waking hours, Marinette worked tirelessly through the nights and over weekends to finish commissions. Her non lucrative hobbies tended to get pushed aside, which was frustrating since they helped her relax...

She decided she could kill two birds with one stone (so to speak... Orikko wasn't a fan of that phrase..) by sharing her own interests with the kwamis while working on her current fashion projects.

A few of the kwamis had taken a shine to the anime shows and manga collection Marinette had. Some preferred reading the Japanese comics out loud to their Guardian as she stitched or crocheted. They delighted in making different voices for the characters or taking turns reading, emphasizing the sound effects and even acting out the fight scenes (Tikki especially liked acting out the romantic scenes solo and making Marinette giggle uncontrollably as she passionately kissed the air space in front of her own tiny face).

Marinette hadn't realized just how much more time she was spending watching anime and reading (or at least listening to) manga until a normal morning of class was about to start.

She had gotten there early for a change! Not planned, Tikki had simply set her phone alarm for earlier while she slept in an attempt to get her holder to class on time for a change. It worked, though Marinette realized what had happened the moment she burst through the classroom door. She had been scowling at her purse every few moments while idly sketching at her desk since then.

Her anger at her clever kwami dissipated however, when a certain blond boy waltzed into the room with the grace and energy of a gazelle. She couldn't help the love sick sigh that escaped her as he made his way to his desk, a small smile on his lips growing into a full grin as his eyes met hers.

"Good morning, Marinette!" His voice was sunbeams and she wanted to curl up in it and take a cat nap.

"G-good morning Daydreaming. I mean Adrien. Sorry.. I was daydreaming. Not that you're not a daydream because you are! Not, I mean. You're just a regular dream. I mean person. I... what I meant was... um..." Marinette wished more than anything else in that moment that the desk would turn into a black hole and suck her I to it.

Until she heard Adrien laughing softly. Until she saw the crinkles at the corners of his eyes. Until she heard his next words to her...

"I'm sorry for laughing, Marinette. I promise I'm not laughing at you, though. Not exactly anyway... it's just... you tend to get flustered like this sometimes and while I usually just pretend I don't notice so you don't get embarrassed, I... I honestly think it's adorable. Like... utterly ridiculously freaking cute and I had to tell you. I... I hope you don't mind me saying that." His voice had gotten quieter towards the end, his eyes glued to the sketchbook on Marinette's desk, his right hand rubbing the back of his neck, and his cheeks lightly flushed with pink.

Marinette had noticed all of this, somehow, and was staring at him in mild shock, eyes wide and unable to close her jaw for a moment.

When she came back to her senses (debatable), the first thing she did was clutch her chest dramatically and whisper just loudly enough for Adrien to hear: "doki doki"

...

...

Shocked green eyes snapped to mortified blue ones.

Marinette slapped a hand over her mouth in horror.

Adrien grinned like a kid who was given free reign in a candy shop.

Before he could stop her, however, Marinette stood up and shot to the classroom door, nearly colliding with a few classmates making their way in. She didn't return until the bell rang and steadfastly avoided Adrien's gaze whenever he turned around in his seat.

____

Shortly before class was supposed to get out, there was a muffled commotion from down the road.

Great. Akuma. Marinette made a quick request to use the bathroom, leaping out of her seat before the teacher could respond. She didn't notice Adrien leaving the classroom shortly after.

____

"Good job!" The superhero duo bumped fists after the miraculous ladybugs had cleaned up the mess made by the akuma. It had thankfully been a quick one. Ladybug had seemed a bit preoccupied during the battle. Chat didn't seem to mind, though. In fact... he looked quite pleased with himself. Ladybug raised an eyebrow at him.

"You're in a good mood today, kitty." She smiled at the smirk on his face, happy to have something else to think about other than her embarrassing blunder in the classroom earlier...

"Is it that obvious? Heh. I guess I am." Chat Noir searched Ladybug's face, wanting to tell her what happened but only if she genuinely wanted to hear about it. She tilted her face towards him and smiled expectantly. Good enough for him!

"So, uh... today, um. Do you read manga?"

Ladybug frowned in confusion. "Yeah? But... what does that have to do wi-"

Chat waved his hands in a mildly impatient gesture. "Getting there, just... context will help. So! I got to class and there was one person there already. This girl... I... I've been kinda crushing on her for a while..."

Ladybug felt something tighten in her chest at that, but dutifully chose to ignore it. She was happy he had finally started moving on. She was proud of him. This girl in his class was probably no where near as cool as her anyway. Wait, what? Ladybug shook her head to rid the intrusive thoughts and paid attention to her partner again.

"... she's always been like that around me but I thought it was because she hated me at first, or just felt uncomfortable because I'm fam- er... familiar or uh... something." Chat cleared his throat awkwardly. Ladybug gave him a look that seemed to be encouraging him to continue though her smile seemed a bit... off.

"Anyway. So today I say good morning to her and she starts fumbling over her words. They seemed so... I dunno... She kept accidentally calling me a dream, a daydream actually... and I just... I started laughing because it was sooooo cuuuute!" Chat had brought his closed fists to rest under his chin and his eyes glazed over at the memory of Marinette's earlier word salad.

Ladybug's brain was buzzing. It was driving her nuts. She knew what it was but it couldn't be... so that meant it wasn't. Right? Isn't that how things work? Oh, he's still talking. About that girl. Who just so happens to have done the same thing she did this morning. Funny thing, coincidences.

"... she ACTUALLY SAID 'doki doki'!! Can you believe it? Like... her eyes could have literally had hearts in them. There's no way I misinterpreted that, right? She likes me, right?? I mean... it makes sense, all the times she got flustered. It wasn't because she doesn't like me after all!!"

Chat had started pacing in a circle around what apparently was a lifelike statue of Ladybug, seemingly unaware of the switch.

"She ran out of the room right after and then left right before the akuma so I haven't had a chance to talk to her since, but I think, no wait, I KNOW she likes me and I want to ask her out and now I won't feel awkward asking to marathon an anime or something because she obviously likes that kind of thing too and I can't believe I didn't know that about her before but now I DO know and that means I can... um.... Ladybug?"

He stopped and stood directly in front of Ladybug, a look of concern and mild embarrassment on his features. Ladybug's eyes that had appeared to be staring into a void snapped to his. Her mouth clicked shut. Her face blossomed into a deep blush and she took two giant steps back from Chat, stumbling slightly. It was Chat's turn to frown in confusion.

"Ladybug, what's wrong?"

"N-nothing. I have to fo gome. Go home.

Chat's eyes narrowed. "Your school is already out for the day?"

"Yes" she lied. "Shirt day today."

"Um... okay? You mean short?"

"That's what I said."

Chat scratched the top of his head between the cat ears. Ladybug was acting really strange... it's almost like she's... no. It can't be. Can it?

"Ladybug... are you...."

"Chat..." It was a warning. But Chat Noir had to know....

"Are you jealous?!"

__________

Shall I continue this or leave it as a one shot?

[fandom-star]

Transgender Pride Month Challenge

So, I'm an admin on a trans meme/info account on Instagram, and one of the guys on there sent this to our chat, so I thought I'd do it on here.

1. My name is Elliott or Ell. I am asexual and bi/panromantic (both fit me so I use both) and I am a transmasculine non-binary person.

2. The only proper coming out I've had was with my mum. I don't feel like putting it here, it's somewhere on my blog. Most of the time I've either given my friends my Tumblr knowing they'd figure it out or I've just dropped a thousand hints in group chats! I dunno, I just prefer coming out like that with people I know will be okay with it.

3. I've probably always had an idea, at least since I was about 8, but after the age of 10 I kind of went into a fair bit of denial and threw myself into being a fangirl. I eventually realised I should look into it in May 2018, when I first identified as a demigirl.

4. I am not on hormones. It's probably something I'll look into doing maybe in my mid twenties for half a year, maybe a year, to get the extent of the effects that I want, but I don't think I'd stay on for much more than a year.

5. My support system is mostly my friends. 

6. My chest, my deadname (mostly seeing it written), sometimes my voice, sometimes my height.

7. When I decided to change my name (July 2018 when I was exploring the possibility of being a trans guy) the one thing I knew was that I wanted to still be able to feasibly use the nickname Ell. So I basically looked around online for names with that sound in them. I ended up with about five or six and wrote down the pros and cons of them all. The only con on the name Elliott was that there was a guy in my form class with the same name (Elliot), whereas the others usually had about two. So I chose Elliott.

8. I haven't had much of a transition journey. I had my hair cut short in July 2018. Had my first irl coming out in September 2018 as non-binary to a friend who figured it out. July 2019 I changed my name. July and August 2019 I came out to my mum (if you followed me then you'll know what that story is and why it was over two months). November 2019 I went to a comic con with my friends which was my first time being openly non-binary in public, and I also bought my first pronoun badge there. Later in the month, my mum bought me a pronoun badge. December 2019 my best friend bought me my first binder. And some point before September 2020 I will have come out on my personal Instagram.

9. I don't think I have any regrets. I feel like I shouldn't have any, because everything I have done has brought me here, and I'm happy where I am. Maybe I regret backing out of coming out on Instagram last month, because I was gonna try coming out on 1st of July, but with everything happening I felt like it was a really inappropriate time.

10. My binder is a blue half tank from GC2B. His name is Robbie. I can't be bothered to take a photo!

11. My definite transition goals are to legally change my name and gender (but only when the UK legally recognises non-binary people, until then imma confuse people by having a masculine legal name but being legally recognised as female!) and have a chest reduction. As I said earlier, I'm definitely considering testosterone, but the two effects I definitely want from it are facial hair and a deeper voice, both of which I could probably achieve to an extent without the involvement of T. (I basically have the ability to grow a beard naturally, but I never have because mum's worried about me being bullied or whatever if it gets too much.)

14. I am single and have never been in a relationship. I know, I know, the shock and the horror of a 16 year old having never been in a relationship, but I'm permanently anxious about everything, and I don't develop crushes very often and the last two I've had have been on friends, one of which doesn't live near me and I've never met in person, so.... Yeah, and that means I can't really say whether people knowing I'm trans or not has had any difference in them being attracted to me.

15. Obviously, I'm not completely out right now, but when I do come out I will be quite open about it. There's no real way to be stealth as a non-binary person, so that's not really a possibility. Even on the trans masc side of things, I don't think I'd ever be able to be stealth nor do I really want to be. For one, my transition plans don't exactly allow for it particularly, but also, while being referred to as male is highly preferable to being referred to as female, if I can have control over it, I won't be seen as strictly either.

16. I think I stand with the majority when I say that the only concern I can think of around transitioning is transphobia. Especially with my classmates, because while some of them are amazing (hello the whole five of you here) there's a lot of casual transphobia and explicit mockery of non-binary people at my school. It's one of the reasons I really hope our pride group continues when I start back at Sixth Form in September, because I feel like we could do a lot to combat that.

17. I mean, I guess I basically went over fear of rejection in 16, but I guess I could extend on that by explaining why I don't really mention my dad in regards to all this. Basically, I haven't come out to him about anything regarding my queer identity. This isn't necessarily because of him being explicitly homophobic or transphobic (he's never said anything homophobic ever and seemingly supports my going to pride events), it's mostly because our relationship is somewhat distant. We don't have an awful lot to do with each other outside of sharing interests. And he tends to be averse to anything "new". So, yes, I fear that if I came out to my father about being non-binary he would react by either ignoring it or me or not believing me.

20. September 2016 vs Today, June 2020

21. Something I'm most proud of relating to being trans... ooh! Probably the time I went out for lunch with my mum and my granny (who is basically deaf) and being called "sir" and "young man" by two different waiters while mum went to the toilet. The reason that's such an amazing moment for me is because I was feeling extremely dysphoric about how long my hair was getting, so I wasn't even making any attempt to look at all masculine. 

22. Things that make me euphoric are binding, people saying my name, listening to recordings of my voice (a lot of the time it sounds a lot more androgynous than I expect) and seeing photos of myself in cosplay.

23. Music. Very generic! Um... I have a Spotify playlist of songs to listen to when I feel dysphoric. Speaking of Spotify playlists, most of them are based on ships or characters. My username is seltudoor. I have a rather large record collection and an old record player/radio/cassette player that used to be my dad's that I think is from the 80s. Everything else you know! Classic rock, Sinatra and all that.

24. Freddie Mercury is the love of my life (HA!) and my role model. I have put into words why somewhere on my music blog, but I can't exactly remember. It goes a bit deeper than that he wasn't afraid to be true to himself. I also have an entire post about my trans role model Lou Sullivan that I made last June. In short, he was the first trans man to medically transition as an openly gay man who was also a badass, though I mainly say that because towards the end of his life (he died from AIDS complications) he wrote that, although the medical system didn't recognise him as a gay man, it seemed as though he was going to die like one.

25. Weirdest fact about me. Hmm... not sure I have any weird facts. My bookshelf organisation has two aspects to it that I don't think I've seen anyone else have. I group them by genre and order them by publication date from earliest to latest.

26. Things that cross my mind a lot. The fact that I should really be doing some writing instead of reading another fanfiction or watching another YouTube video that spoils most of Merlin for me. I don't know really.

27. You can win my heart by having a presence that makes me feel like I can happy stim in front of you whilst we watch something together, by accepting the fact that you will probably come second to my fandoms/obsessions a lot of the time, by allowing me to be touchy and clingy at random moments for often a long period of time, by not judging that I can't do "normal everyday things" and helping me with them and by being weird. 

28. My mum, @maestrowave​, @in3ffable-husbands​, @fandom-0bsession​ and everyone else in my active group chats on Instagram, @britpop-bowie​, @esperata​ and some other people.

29. I don't know what I'm most scared of. 

30. I think I'm mostly happy. I have great friends, my education is probably headed in a direction that will allow me to progress into an industry I've wanted to work in since I was 9 and in two years' time I will hopefully be at uni and able to experiment with my transition without worrying about what my parents think.

[victorianoir]

The Detective and the Tech Guy Meet Baby

Another update to The Detective and the Tech Guy. Still trucking along, here. Slowly but steadily! Still haven’t read the rest of DATG? You definitely have to check out the MASTER POST. Would you rather read the story where it’s posted on fanfiction.net? You can do that HERE.

Have a good read, everyone. :)

The last time he’d been this tired was in his senior year at Stanford, when he’d stayed up ’til two in the morning studying for his final exam, then worked on some of the coding for his dad’s newest project at B.E.C. ’til the sun came out. He’d relied on a frat buddy sitting behind him to regularly kick his chair to wake him up so that he could finish the exam that day.

Chuck pushed his notebook out of the way and folded his arms on his desk, lowering his forehead to rest on his forearm and letting his eyes shut. Just five minutes, maybe, and then he could get back to work.

If this conference was going to be successful, he needed to figure out ways to sell it to sponsors. He’d thought about just fronting his own money, and a lot of it would come out of his own pocket. But he couldn’t pay for everything. Not for something this big, something this unprecedented.

It was going to be the San Diego Comic Con of underprivileged boys and girls learning about STEM.

Or at least…that was his plan.

But then there was a knock on his office door. It was a knock he recognized and it made his heart skip a beat. “Come in,” he mumbled, his voice muffled by his arms.

The door opened and there was silence for a second. And then he slowly rolled his head to the side and peeked up at his girlfriend. “Oh, hi.”

“Okay and this is why I came over here.”

He squinted. “Hmm?”

“Honestly, Chuck. You’re going to kill yourself doing this so often. Let me guess,” she said, stepping inside all the way and shutting the door behind her as she moved to the other side of his desk. “You were going to take a short nap at…” She glanced at her watch. “…almost ten o’clock. And then get right back to your work. Am I right?”

Chuck blinked. “I mean…maybe.”

She smiled, rolled her eyes, and shook her head. “Come on. We’re going.”

“How’d you know I was here?”

“I went to your place and you weren’t there. Only other options were here or some other woman’s place. And I have it on good authority said other woman is currently four hours into her sleep cycle.”

“Would that good authority happen to be Mr. Paranoia McGee?”

“If by Mr. Paranoia McGee you mean your brother-in-law, then yes. Yes, he’s my good authority. I texted her and he texted me back.”

“Sweet of him.”

“Isn’t it?”

“But as much as I love you showing up and spicing up my night,” she raised an eyebrow at that, smirking, “I’ve got a lot to figure out for the conference.” He immediately switched his brain to his work and rushed out, “What do you think about this? Tell me the truth. Back when you were a sophomore in high school, would you have wanted to go to a conference called ‘The STEM of the Future’?”

She pressed her lips together and winced. She didn’t have to answer.

“No,” he breathed. “No. W-What about just STEMCon? Keep it simple. No flowery language. Haaaa. Get it? STEM? Flowery? I’m really tired.”

“I know.” She giggled. And then she leaned over the desk and cupped his face, her hands cool against his cheeks. He nearly hummed at how nice it felt. “Let’s get out of here.” She took her hands away and stood up straight again. “You can get back to work in the morning. But I know for a fact you didn’t sleep last night. I went to sleep in an empty bed and woke up this morning in an empty bed again.”

“Well, how do you know I didn’t just go to bed later than you and wake up earlier than you?” He hadn’t. He hadn’t even touched his bed, as inviting as seeing her all wrapped up in his sheets, cuddling his side of the bed, had been. He’d just wanted to crawl in there with her. But he hadn’t. There was so much to do still.

“Because I can feel when you’re in bed with me? Even when I’m asleep?” she said, her voice lifting at the end of each sentence. “It’s a…weird…couple thing. I dunno.” She shook her head. “Come on. Get your jacket. Put your shoes on if they’re off.”

“They’re on.”

“Good. Let’s go back to your place. You can take a shower, I’ll make the martinis,” he popped his eyebrows at that, “and then we’ll drink in bed and fall asleep before midnight like old retired people who have a lot of money.”

“Can we have QVC on in the other room?”

“Mmm and an electric blanket at the end of the bed since, you know, old people are always cold.”

Chuck smirked, which turned into a chuckle. How could he say no to that? There was also the fact that his assistant had picked him up and taken him to work because Ellie borrowed his car for a road trip down to San Diego with Devon. Even though she’d come back earlier today, she still had the car parked at her condo and he was technically stranded.

He’d meant to call a cab eventually, but here was his knight in shining armor, tall and proud in her jeans and navy blue zip up sweatshirt that made her eyes look simply majestic.

But for the first time since she’d walked into his office, he actually looked at her eyes—really looked—and he saw that particular thread of tiredness there.

And it wasn’t the same tired he was experiencing. This wasn’t physical exhaustion. It was emotional, mental, spiritual. It was much deeper.

He knew why it was there, too.

Sarah Walker, P.I. needed a client. And she needed one soon. Each day that passed had her sinking further into a professional depression, as much as she tried to hide it from him.

And Chuck didn’t blame her from trying to hide it. He knew it wasn’t just that she didn’t want to confide in him. It was that she wasn’t used to confiding in people. And he knew she didn’t like pushing her troubles onto him.

He’d gladly take her troubles on his own shoulders, carry her burdens.

But instead, he pretended he didn’t see it.

For now.

And he let her grab his hand and pull him out from behind his desk. He grumbled good-naturedly and let himself be guided through the door, Sarah having reached over and snagged his jacket for him.

“Have your wallet? Keys? Car keys?”

“Ellie has my car keys.”

“Oh, yeah. She borrowed your car. Forgot.”

“God, Sarah. Get your shit together.”

She laughed, even as she pinched him on the ass, making him yelp as they walked past Chuck’s assistant’s empty desk.

The journey back to Chuck’s condo was filled with Chuck bouncing a few of his ideas about the conference off of her, since his dad had given him the order to make it his number one priority.

Finally, Chuck turned to look at his girlfriend, the streetlights flooding her face with light for just a moment every couple of seconds as they passed under them. “Why’d you go to my place earlier?”

She gave him a look. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you-you said you went to my condo and I wasn’t there so you came to my office. Is something wrong? I mean, you showing up at my condo at, like, almost ten o’clock makes me feel like maybe something’s wrong.” It just occurred to him and he felt like an awful boyfriend for taking this long. He shifted in the seat, sitting up a bit straighter and turning his body towards her as best he could under the constraints of his seatbelt.

“Nothing’s wrong,” she said, smiling and looking over at him. “Can’t a girl go to her boy’s place after nine o’clock on a Thursday night?”

“Sure she can,” he said with a shrug. “You know you can show up any damn time you feel like it. I just mean…it’s a little later than you usually come over.”

“What if it was a booty call?”

He choked a little. “Was it?”

“Nah.” She shook her head, the smirk dying a little as the seconds went by. “Simpler than that and a little less X-Rated. I just wanted to see you, I guess.”

“Okay, first of all…the fact that you gave our potential sex an X-rating is super hot. Secondly, ‘I just wanted to see you, I guess’ isn’t always entirely believable.” He winced, afraid she’d lash out at him for insinuating she was lying about her needs.

She didn’t, though. She just sighed.

They finally pulled into his extra space in his building’s garage and climbed out of the car.

When Sarah shut her car door, she spoke again. “I’m telling the truth,” she finally said. “I did want to see you. But it was because I needed to.”

“Needed to?” They walked into the elevator arm in arm and he pushed the button for his floor. “I repeat, did something happen?”

She rolled her eyes—more at herself than at him, he thought—and leaned against the railing next to him. “No, nothing happened. And that’s the problem.”

Ah. Yes. So he was sort of right.

“I’ve spent too much money for getting only one damn client. And while my paycheck was nice and sizable, I need more.”

“Well, I know some peop—”

“No.”

“But—”

“No.”

He held his hands up. “Okay, fine. But I was thinking last night while I was not-sleeping—”

“Aha!” She pointed at him. “You didn’t sleep. What’d I tell you?”

“Fine. You got me. I didn’t sleep last night. But I was thinking, Sarah. You gotta let me work on your website.”

“No—”

“Seriously. I could show you how to market to the right people. Less corny business hack, more Hercules Poirot.” She gave him a flat look and he sighed. “With the website you have now, it’s very simple, simple colors, simple layout, not a whole lot of information or links to click…And the phone number is kinda…clunky.” Her flat look was starting to get miffed but he continued on, pretending he didn’t see it. She needed his help, after all. “It looks a lot like those commercials on TV for lawyers who you can call when you get into a car accident and some peasant law student ends up as your lawyer in court for all the money you cough up.”

“Are you saying my website makes me look like a con artist?” She lifted an eyebrow.

“What? No, no! No. I’m just saying, there’s a way you can make it look less…”

“Unprofessional.” She crossed her arms, her jaw clenching. Woops.

“Not that, no. But B.E.C. has a killer rad website. Which I’m sure you looked at when you were first assigned to our case, It’s killer rad, right?” She didn’t answer, and he could tell she wasn’t exactly happy with him. “I’ve got some of the best marketing pros working for me. They all love you. They think you’re great. They’d totally help. You can work with them and get your site looking super professional, like you’ve been doing this for years. Which you have! Just…not on your own, you know?” he reasoned, holding the elevator doors for her.

They finally stepped into his condo and Sarah’s frown hadn’t subsided.

“Did I offend you?” he asked with a wince as he turned on the lights and shut his door. “I offended you, didn’t I? I didn’t mean to. I’m just trying to help.”

“No,” she sighed. “You didn’t offend me. I am not a marketing expert. I know I’m not. And my site isn’t great. I know that, too. But I have to figure this stuff out on my own.”

“But I can help. People can help.”

“I will let you know when I need your help, Chuck. Okay?”

He couldn’t help being confused. What did it matter if her boyfriend sat down with one of his marketing associates and figured out how best to work her site to make it playable to professionals who needed professional investigating?

Why was she so resistant about receiving help?

It didn’t make sense. He knew she was independent, self-reliant. But he kept forgetting that he didn’t entirely know all there was to know about her. He didn’t know her background. She went to Harvard for law school and left for Pinkerton. He’d picked up on that much. And not even because she’d outwardly told him.

He knew absolutely nothing about her parents, where they were, if they were anywhere. Did she have parents?

“Sarah, it’s not really…” He cleared his throat when she gave him a look. It was the look that would usually make him stop asking, stop pushing. But he kept going. It was important. He wouldn’t be muzzled tonight. “It’s not that big of a deal, having someone help with your website. It’s not your specialty. Investigating, being a bad ass, finding bad dudes and ladies, arresting them, saving lives…that’s your specialty. You need someone with a marketing talent to—”

“Chuck, I don’t need help. I’ll fix the website if it needs touching up. But I’ve got it.”

“I’m just giving you advice. I’ve been watching and working for my dad all this time, and I know how businesses get off the ground. Good marketing is key.”

“I don’t want advice right now. Okay?” There was an edge to her voice as she toed her shoes off and walked down the steps towards the bar. “I’ll start making the martinis. You shower and get comfortable.”

“Sarah…” He followed her but stayed a few feet away. “I know you don’t think you need help. But…when you do, I’m here.”

“Okay.”

She dug around in the cabinet at the bar, very obviously done with the conversation.

Chuck felt the sting of it as he stuck his hands in his pockets. “Sorry I even brought it up then. I’ll, uh, go take my shower.”

And he left her side, heading for the shower. It was going to be a long one. He needed it to be a long one. Because he didn’t want to be angry when he got out again.

Her resistance to his help made him mad. Not knowing why she resisted made him mad. Her innate ability to cut him off and make him feel in the wrong for even asking questions made him mad.

So he stepped into the spray of the shower and let it flood over him, standing there for a while, making his mind go blank.

The air felt charged with words that needed to be said when he came back down again, seeing her sitting on the couch with both martinis on the table in front of her.

Her blue eyes lifted to watch him approach. There was regret in her pretty features then as she lowered her gaze to her lap for a second, rubbing a hand down her jeans. “Hey, um…”

Sarah stood and walked around the table to stand in front of him. “I’m sorry.” She winced. “This agency—It-It has to be my own work, you know? I-I need this to be all me. Even the tiny things. Otherwise it-it doesn’t feel real, you know?”

He nodded, still not really understanding her logic. What was so wrong about asking for help, or accepting it when it was given? He had so many resources that were hers to use if only she asked him.

“I didn’t mean for it to be an argument,” he said, furrowing his brow.

“I didn’t mean to make it into one. Just—You get it, right? I don’t need help. I’ve got to do this. Just me.”

Chuck nodded again, even though he didn’t get it, even though none of this was sitting right, even though he still felt the tension. “Yeah,” was all he could give her.

And it seemed to be enough for her as she smiled softly at him, which was…a little annoying. All he’d said was yeah and it wasn’t even enthusiastic or particularly genuine, but she accepted it and was ready to move on.

He was trying to be okay with her emotional hang-ups, trying to understand, but it was getting harder, the more time went on without him really knowing anything concrete about her background, her past, what she’d been through. He felt like he didn’t know anything.

But tonight wasn’t the time to drudge all of that up.

So he did what he thought would calm him down, the thing he knew always did wonders for him when he was tense or unsettled.

He leaned in, stroked his fingers down her cheek softly, and kissed her, just as softly.

It did the job. The unsettled feeling in him settled, and when her arms went around his neck, while he didn’t feel like the tension was gone, he did feel their connection, the one that made all of this seem trivial. He was upset, but she was still his, and he was hers. No matter what happened between them, there was always that.

She finally pulled away, looking glad that they had cleared it up even though he didn’t entirely feel like they had, and she reached down to pick up their martinis.

“So, these won’t be as good as if you’d made them, since no one can make a martini like you do,” she said with a wink as he plucked one of the martinis from her fingers, “but a martini is a martini, right?”

He held his up for her to clink hers against, and when she did, he brought it to his lips and sipped it, smacking his lips, narrowing his eyes. “Nope, that’s pretty damn good. Well done, Walker.”

“Yessssss!” She did an excited fist pump and he nearly let the rest of tonight’s baggage slide, it was so damned cute. “Success.” She sipped hers and hummed. “It’s good, but I prefer yours.”

“Just because you like kicking your feet up and watching while I do the work,” he sassed with a teasing smirk.

“No!” she argued, slipping her hand into his and guiding him back to the stairs. “Although, the view is really nice.”

“Are you referring to my bum?”

“I am,” she giggled, and she led him up the stairs to the bedroom.

——————

Chuck yawned widely as he stared at his computer screen. STEMCon was what he’d settled on. He just couldn’t figure out if he wanted a space between STEM and Con, or if he wanted to smash the words together.

Either way, there was the small matter of getting enough people together who could be on panels, who could lead workshops. He had to find a way to get the technology there, to get sponsors there, and to figure out just how many tablets, laptops, jump drives, and other pieces of tech he’d need for the students.

He huffed in frustration and sat back against his chair, looking at the ceiling and groaning to himself.

It didn’t help that he wasn’t feeling very inspired today. All day, he’d been bothered by how strained the morning was when he’d woken up next to Sarah. Like their little make-up talk after his shower had just been an armistice.

Her smiles were tentative, her mien distracted. He’d kissed her and sped off to work, wanting to leave the tense atmosphere as quickly as possible.

She’d offered to make him breakfast but he’d feigned having an early meeting, which he’d then felt guilty about. When had he ever run away from her and not spent as much time with her as possible?

He needed to get over it. He was dating a woman who had some struggles with feelings. So she was a little closed-off sometimes, but…so were a lot of people. Just because he wasn’t that way, didn’t mean he should project his own personality onto her.

He just had to be there for her when she needed him. Just like she always was when he needed her.

Feeling a bit better, but also wanting to call her and talk to her, he picked up his phone. He wanted to tell her…

He didn’t know what he’d tell her. So he set his phone back down.

And just when he did, the door to his office slammed open. His mom stood there, his concerned assistant standing wide-eyed behind her.

“Chuck, it’s time!”

He smiled a little, amused. “What are you—? Oh!” The smile died and he jumped to his feet so violently that his chair tipped. “Oh! Oh my God. Is it Ellie?”

“What else?!” his mom snarked, her face pinched in unease and nerves. “Come on, hurry up. We need to get to the hospital.”

His mind flooded with thoughts of Sarah. He needed to get to her, she needed to be there, he needed her to share in this.

He grabbed his cell phone and coat, shrugging it on, shutting down his computer. “Adisa?”

His assistant perked up. “I got it, Chuck. Cancel all of your meetings for at least today. Just keep us all updated on what’s going on with Ellie.”

“I absolutely will.” He thumped the younger man on the back. “Thanks, Adisa. I’ll keep you posted.” Then he turned to his mom as they swept out into the hallway. “Did Ellie call you?”

“She texted your dad. He’s already on his way to the hospital from his meeting in Anaheim. Now come on! I’ve got the car out front.”

“I’ll drive. We’re getting Sarah on the way to the hospital. ”

His mother stalled behind him. “She can meet us there.”

“No. She can’t. We’re picking her up.”

“We’re not going out of the way to pick up your girlfriend, Charles! Your sister is in labor!” she snapped as she continued to follow him through the hallway to the elevator.

They climbed in and Chuck clenched his jaw, wanting to keep from snapping at his mom on this day of all days.

The doors opened again on the ground floor.

“Charles. Are you listening to me?”

Chuck spun on his mom and snagged the car keys from her hand, holding them up. “I’ve got the keys. If you have a problem with picking Sarah up on the way to the hospital, you can call a Lyft.”

He saw he’d won almost immediately. His mother would never Lyft or Uber. Not even to avoid being in the car with Sarah Walker, the woman she’d apparently taken offense to for some stupid reason.

The drive to Sarah’s office was quick, and honestly it was a toss-up as to whether or not she’d even be there in the first place. He knew she tried to keep a schedule, going to her office as many days during the week as she could. He knew she worked there even if she could do the same work from home.

He was surprised when his mom got out of the car with him once they’d screeched to a halt at the curb in front of Sarah’s office building. But he paid her no mind as he rushed into the building and climbed into the old-fashioned elevator.

Once they reached Sarah’s floor and started down the hallway, he spotted the light shining through the door of her agency and knew she was there. Relieved, he hurried his step even more, hearing his mom huff and puff behind him.

And then he burst into Sarah’s agency, a little breathless himself as he rushed through the small lobby and stopped in the threshold to her personal office.

She was on the floor with papers spread all around her, her eyes wide as she looked up at him. “Chuck! What—? What’s going on?”

He frowned at the mess, knowing she wasn’t typically the messy type. And she looked down to follow his gaze. “Oh. Um, yeah. This. I was sorting my paperwork to file it so that I know where everything is. I can find it easier that way, you know?”

“Well, we gotta go,” he said, nodding in understanding. He watched Sarah’s eyes fall on his mother who stood at his shoulder, and he could see she was embarrassed the older woman was seeing this mess. It made his chest ache in a good way, and in a bad way. Mostly bad.

“What do you mean, we gotta go? For what? What’s happened?”

“Ellie’s in labor.”

Her blue eyes popped, shining brightly as she jumped to her feet and clasped her hands together. “Oh, my God. It’s happening?”

“Yeah.” He let out a breathless chuckle and felt the beginning of tears. He just barely blinked them away as Sarah closed the distance and cupped his face in her hands. “I’m gonna be an uncle.”

The tension and strain that had been there this morning wasn’t in the room anymore. There was nothing between them but the deep affection and sweeping adoration that had always been there. And then she moved up to the tip toes of her pumps and kissed him.

He wrapped his arms around her and chuckled into the kiss, fighting the emotions, clinging to her.

When he heard the loud “AHEM” behind him, he pulled Sarah even closer, and as amused as he could tell Sarah was by the move, she was the one who pulled back, blushing in spite of everything.

“Let’s go,” she breathed, sliding her hand into his.

He had half a mind to ask if she needed to put any of this away, but she seemed so unconcerned by it as she rushed past him and snagged her coat, shrugging it on and pulling her hair out of the collar, that he shut his mouth and ushered his mom out.

Sarah took only a moment to lock up and then they were in the elevator, running out of the building, climbing into his mom’s car, and speeding the rest of the way to the hospital.

——————

Sarah followed Chuck and his mom through the maze-like hospital and turned the corner, stopping a little at the sight.

The hallway was crowded with well-wishers who’d heard about Ellie Woodcomb’s momentous news. All of them were dressed in scrubs or wearing doctor’s coats.

They were patting an overwhelmed Devon on the back, grabbing his hand and shaking it vigorously, and then leaving to go back to work.

His blue eyes lifted to see his brother-in-law and mother-in-law walking towards him and he beamed.

Without either of them saying a single word, Sarah watched Chuck and Devon embrace the way she imagined brothers might. Devon thumped her boyfriend on the back a few times and pulled away, then let loose with that booming laugh. “Dude. Awesome. And terrifying. But awesome.”

Chuck just laughed and grabbed him by the biceps. “What are you doing out here, man? Get in there with Ellie.”

“Y-Yeah. I’m—Well, she actually, um, she kicked me out.” He switched his gaze to Mary and immediately moved around his brother-in-law to sweep her up in a tight hug. It was obviously not what she was expecting as she let out an awkward “Oh” and held onto his shoulders with a wide-eyed, confused look.

When he set her down again, he called her “Grandma” and the slight look of begrudging amusement fell to a stony look. It almost made Sarah laugh.

But then Devon had her wrapped up in a tight, strong hug. “Congratulations,” she said, her voice a little strangled since she couldn’t exactly breathe. She had to resist getting misty when he pulled away and exhaled softly, dragging a hand down his face.

“Hey, what do you mean Ellie kicked you out?” Chuck asked.

“Um…I was kind of…” He winced. “Spiraling.”

Chuck let out a laugh and shook his head. “Come on, man. What’s got you spiraling?”

“Besides my wife pushing a living breathing baby out of her womb? Um, and the fact that I forgot my Push-Mix at home? And the comfy little pillow thing I bought that you put behind her head to make giving labor easier? Yeah, that’s at home, too.”

Sarah watched as the younger of the two men put his hands on Devon’s shoulders, meeting his gaze solidly. “Awesome, you’re awesome. Remember? I don’t call you the captain of awesome for nothing. You don’t need music. You don’t need a dumb little pillow. Ellie definitely doesn’t need those things. Pull yourself together and get back in there. She needs you. Not Captain Spiraling. Captain Awesome.” He saluted the blonde with a military flourish and Sarah melted a bit.

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.” Devon’s features became steely and determined, and he stood up straighter, like an Olympic statue or something. Or maybe a superhero. Considering what she knew about Chuck’s brother-in-law, he was a bit of a superhero, wasn’t he? “Thanks, bro. I’ll see you all on the other side.”

He turned and walked away from them, meeting one of the delivery nurses at the swinging doors and letting her deck him out in his surgical gown, handing him a cap. Then they disappeared inside.

Sarah heard Mary let out a stressed huff of air, and as she watched the almost-grandmother out of the corner of her eye, she saw the worried slump in her shoulders.

“Ellie’s strong,” Chuck said, looking over his shoulder. “We’ll meet Clara soon, I have no doubt of it.”

“She’s a bad ass,” Sarah added, a little breathless. “Seriously.”

She spun on her heels when she heard footsteps rushing down the hallway. Morgan was practically a tornado, sprinting towards them. Sarah caught Stephen walking a safe distance behind him, shaking his head in amusement, holding a large bag of something, and…for the first time since she’d met him…ever…wearing jeans, a T-shirt, a sweatshirt, and a dusty old baseball cap. It was…kind of nice, seeing him like that.

“Is she okay? Is she alright? Am I late?” Morgan rushed. He grabbed Sarah’s arms, since she was closest to him. “Oh my God, I’m gonna be an uncle!”

Mary scoffed and rolled her eyes, though she seemed amused at the same time.

Chuck made a high pitched, doubtful “mmmmm” sound over Sarah’s shoulder that made her giggle.

“Morgan, she’s fine. She’s probably still in the contractions phase,” she explained, patting his shoulder.

“So I can’t hold Clara yet…is what you’re saying.”

“No, buddy. Not yet,” Chuck explained.

He sighed and stepped back, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Man. When Sarah called me, I was sure it meant she was already here. Clara, I mean. I left in the middle of an onion volcano.” His eyes widened. “Oh, crap. I need to call Jing and make sure my restaurant didn’t burn down!”

As he scurried off, he nearly ran into Stephen, but somehow managed to divert his trajectory into the wall. “I’M OKAY!” he bellowed as he pulled his cell out and scampered around the corner again.

“You can always count on Grimes to add levity into any situation,” Stephen said as he walked up to them and lifted the bag. “I bought a bunch of snacks, both healthy and unhealthy. If Eleanor’s anything like her mother, we might be here awhile.”

“I did not take that long,” his wife argued, smiling at him.

“Welllll…” His shrug looked a lot like the one she’d seen plenty of times from his son.

His wife smacked his shoulder.

Morgan chose that moment to come back around the corner. “It’s still standing! All is well!! And I only got a little bit of boiling oil on one of our customers. So we’re good.”

“Uhhhhh…” Sarah felt Chuck slide his arm around her shoulders. “Buddy, that’s not exactly…” He stopped when she elbowed him in the side. “Never mind.”

Just then, they heard, “Mr. Bartowski? Which one of you is Ellie’s father?”

They all turned as one to face the nurse who’d crept up on them. Everyone turned their heads to look at Stephen. “Uh, th-that’s me. I’m the dad. Well, no. The mom’s dad. The grandpa.” Sarah wondered if it was the first time he’d said it out loud, because he looked a little choked up for a second.

“Oh. Good. One person is allowed in the room with her—besides the husband. At least for right now. And she asked for you.”

There was an awkward silence then. And Sarah told herself not to look at Mary. Don’t look don’t look.

She looked. She couldn’t help it. Everyone had turned to face the older woman.

And she looked like she’d been kicked in the gut. But then she slid a mask over the hurt and raised her eyebrows, folding her hands together and looking away.

“Uh…alright. Yeah. I’m comin’.” He passed the bag of snacks to Morgan and thanked him, then slipped past his wife. Sarah spotted the way he put his hand on her shoulder, squeezing comfortingly. And then he disappeared with the nurse.

The uncomfortable silence continued for at least a minute, until Chuck spoke up. It was like someone had pulled a plug and his voice spilled out. “I just realized I haven’t had my coffee today. I’m getting a coffee. Anybody else want one?”

“I do.” She looked up at him.

“Great. Anybody else?” Mary didn’t even acknowledge he’d spoken and Morgan shook his head slowly. “Kay, here I go.”

“I’m coming, too.”

“Okay.”

And Chuck and Sarah strolled down the hallway as she slipped her hand into his, squeezing tightly the entire way until they stepped into the elevator and he pressed the button for the food court. When the doors shut, they both exhaled and Sarah slumped against his shoulder.

“She did it to herself.”

Sarah raised her eyebrow at him. He shrugged.

“It’s true. Hate to be harsh, but it’s true. My mom’s the leader of the smear campaign against Ellie’s husband slash the father of her child. She really expects Ellie to want her in there with her after these years of tension and disagreements? I’m sure Ellie’s thinking about the time my mom told her Devon wasn’t allowed in our family home. Well? Now my mom isn’t allowed in the delivery room. Bam.”

“Yeah.” Sarah paused. “I’m not exactly your mom’s biggest fan…” The doors opened and they stepped out into the hallway, moving towards the food court. “And she’s definitely not mine—”

“Nope! That’s my title.” He grinned toothily and she rolled her eyes good-naturedly.

“But I felt really awful for her up there. She looked like she’d been punched in the stomach. Did you see her face? She was really hurt.”

“I know.” He shrugged. “She needs to be nicer to people. She’s alienated her own daughter because of this paranoia about people using her children to get to our money. Ellie’s not even in the family business. Both Ellie and Devon have massive salaries as surgeons. Her issues with him are completely illogical.”

Sarah nodded as they got in line at the coffee shop in the corner of the food court. She didn’t voice it, but she couldn’t help thinking that while Ellie wasn’t a part of the family business, Chuck was. He was Stephen’s heir. And while Mary’s distrust of Devon was unfounded, it was less so as far as Sarah was concerned. She was the one faltering in getting her private investigation agency off the ground, dating a man who was worth more money than honestly any one person should be worth.

They each got the largest size of coffee, black, and she pushed in front of Chuck to pay. He made a sound of protest but she ignored him, exchanging a quick smile with the young barista.

As they stepped aside to wait for their drinks, Sarah grabbed a handful of sugar packets and subtly slipped them into her pocket. Chuck gave her a weird look. “What? We’re going to be here for awhile. I might need all of this sugar.”

He chuckled and gave her a one armed hug, kissing the top of her head. “I love you.”

“You better. …the shit I put up with,” she teased, and he chuckled again.

They got their coffees and moved to a corner table that was away from others, sitting across from one another and staying in comfortable silence for a few minutes, sipping their hot brew, people watching.

“You know what really gets me?” She lifted her gaze to his face as he squinted off to the side thoughtfully. “Devon was probably in there advocating for my mom to Ellie.”

Sarah smiled and nodded. “I’m sure he was.”

And then she watched closely as he lowered his gaze to his cup and furrowed his brow thoughtfully. “Sarah…?”

“What?” She tilted her head as his eyes swept back up to meet hers. And then she felt a spike of nerves at the way he bit his lip and let her see a half-wince. She knew the look well. He was definitely about to address something he thought she’d be less than enthused about. And if it was what she feared it might be about, he’d be right.

“I just want to…” He licked his lips and sighed. “This morning, there was still some…tension. Between us. From last night, I mean.”

A bit of a mask slid over her features and she caught herself. There were still things she had to teach herself. Like how not to immediately close up to avoid conflict. That specific reaction was her. It was how she dealt with things. It was what she was used to. But she didn’t try to pretend everything was fine or brush it off the way she might have months and months ago, in the very beginning. She was upfront and candid with him, instead. Honest. Open.

Because she trusted him with all of it. Everything.

“I know there was,” she said. “I’ll take some responsibility for that. I could feel last night that you really didn’t get what I was saying and you were just agreeing because you didn’t want a fight. And while I appreciated that because I also didn’t want to fight, I couldn’t get it out of my head this morning and it made things…” She sighed. “Tense.”

“Yeah.” He nodded, and he slowly slid his hand across the table towards hers. She reached out and met him halfway, their fingers intwined. “I honestly…I’m trying to understand and let it go. It’s something I’ll have to work at and kind of, I dunno…” He shrugged. “Remind myself, I guess?”

“I don’t get why it’s so hard for you to understand,” she said, leaning in and squeezing his fingers in hers. And she was genuinely confused. Why was it so difficult for him to let her do all of this on her own? Why was he so offended by her need to start her business without anyone else’s assistance?

Chuck huffed, nibbling his lip, looking troubled. She wanted to reach across the table and rub a finger over the wrinkles between his brow, iron them out, see that clear, happy look of his again. “I don’t know. I’m—I have this thing, maybe, that I feel like I need to help everyone. Ellie said I’m always trying to save the world. It sounds like a good trait, but it isn’t really. It’s…I don’t know what it is.” Before she could respond, he rushed on. “I’m sorry, Sarah. I am. I truly don’t mean to butt in so much.” He gently stroked his thumb over the back of her hand. “I just care. A lot. About you. About your dreams. About…all of this working out for you. Your happiness and success. And it just seems like such a simple thing, getting my people to help you make your website more accessible for potential clients, and, you know, marketing your services.”

“That’s just it, Chuck. It is a simple thing. It feels like I’m taking the easy way out.” Like she was too dependent. And being dependent was never a good thing. She’d learned that the hard way. Too many times. “I don’t want that feeling. I want to know this is all stuff I got for myself, on my own, that I get to a successful place through my own hard work,” she emphasized.

It didn’t occur to her to tell him why, because deep down, she wasn’t even sure why. Maybe it was all of the times she’d been burned when she’d relied on others for help. The only times she hadn’t been burned were when she allowed herself to take the reins, when she pushed others out and handled her life on her own. This wasn’t about Chuck, this was about her. This was about her needing to know that she was capable, yes, but more than that, she couldn’t let herself depend on others. She couldn’t let that be the narrative around her success again. Because the resulting fall had been catastrophic for her family and she just couldn’t let it happen again. She couldn’t let it ruin this.

But she couldn’t tell him that. She couldn’t find her voice. And so much was happening today that was important. His sister was having her baby. Nobody had time for this intense, deep conversation.

“I can get behind that, Sarah,” he said. “That’s one of the things I struggle with working for the family business. This wasn’t something I worked hard for. This is all my dad’s. It’s his legacy.” He huffed. “And it gets to me sometimes. So I understand your wanting to know you succeeded on your own, without help.”

“Chuck, it isn’t like you just sit around all day and milk B.E.C.’s money like a Hilton child or something. You work harder than anyone I know. I had to rescue you last night because you worked through the night before and you were falling asleep at your desk,” she argued, reaching over with her other hand and clasping it over both of their hands on the top of the table. “Sorry, I know that isn’t the point of what you were saying. I just…I don’t like the idea of you thinking you didn’t earn this, like you haven’t worked your ass off to be successful. A corporation is not an easy thing to maintain, Chuck.”

His eyes widened a little, and then he chuckled softly. She was warmed by the affection as his features softened. “Thanks for that. Didn’t realize I needed it until you said it.”

Sarah gave him a one shoulder shrug. “S’what I’m here for. Amongst other things,” she tacked on with a head tilt.

“I know. And I appreciate that. But I’m also here for you. And…” He took a deep breath. “And I understand if this particular area is not a thing you want me to be here for. I mean, I don’t—I don’t get why. But I guess I don’t need to…I mean, I don’t need to know the why to still be able to support your decision.”

She felt the slow smile stretch over her lips, and it was laced with a bit of a pout because that was easily the most supportive and thoughtful thing anybody had ever said to her.

“I’m sorry if I’m butting in or being pushy about this. I just love you. I care a lot. And I know I can help. But if you don’t want it…” He pulled his hand out of both of hers and held his arms up by his head in surrender. “I get that. I won’t push anymore. As long as you remember I’m here. When you need me.”

“I do need you,” she rushed out. She could still see he was hurt by her insistence he let her tackle her business alone, and she needed him not to take it personally. She needed to erase the hurt he was trying to hide behind that warm smile of his.

“C’mere,” she breathed, making grabby hands across the table until he gave her his hands. She took them and squeezed, making sure she had his full attention before she continued. “Chuck, I do need you. I need you for so many things on a daily basis. I’ve always needed you. Even when I was here working on your dad’s case—on your case—I would find myself at your office or at your condo at the end of a long day and…” She huffed, shaking her head. “I managed to convince everybody—even myself—that it was because I was doing protection detail, checking on you, making sure you were safe. And yeah, that was part of it. But it was mostly that I needed to end my days with…Well, with you.” She felt her cheeks redden, heat coming up from the collar of her blouse. But she kept going. “You made me feel good. About myself. About…life in general. It was just nice being reminded that someone like you exists in a world that can sometimes be full of hatred and greed and corruption. You’d make me laugh or you’d just…you’d look at me in ways nobody had ever looked at me before.”

Sarah shook herself a little and giggled. “I know it’s sappy but I also know you love sappy, so…”

He grinned and squeezed her hands. “My insides currently feel like sunshine.”

That made her laugh, shaking her head at him. “Sap.”

“You, too!” he accused.

“Yep. And I’ll fully own that right now.” She nodded emphatically. “And if I needed you then, you have to know, it’s gotten so much worse ever since. It’s not just that I need you for martinis, though that’s a big one.” He chuckled. “Anytime I make a misstep or I…fall on my face…” She rolled her eyes and huffed. “Which is going to happen a lot with this agency, I can just see it…I’m going to need your support.”

“You’ll have it. You know that,” he answered quickly and easily.

“I know,” she said. And she did know. “You give me confidence in so many things every day, Chuck Bartowski. In you. In us. In life. In myself. I need that. I will accept and cherish your help everywhere else. But in this, it has to be me. It’s very important to me that this is my achievement. If it ends up being an achievement and not a colossal failure,” she said with a wince.

“I get it. And I’m ten thousand percent ready to be here for you in whatever ways you need me to be. However, wherever, whenever, whatever. Whyever?” He made a face and she let out a bubbly giggle. “Not whomever, though.”

“No.” She shook her head in faux seriousness.

“I only really know how to be myself.”

“Okay, Chuck, I got it.”

“Yeeeeah.” He wrinkled his nose and they laughed together. “I’m glad we had this talk.”

“Me, too. And…And can we please continue to be open and honest with each other like this? And not do what we both did last night slash this morning? The tiptoeing and pretending there wasn’t tension in the room. It felt…”

“Gross?”

“Yes.”

“We absolutely can be open and honest with each other like this. Yes. Please. I’d prefer it.”

“Good.”

“Good,” he repeated, and then he leaned over the table towards her. She met him halfway, kissing him deeply, lifting a hand to the back of his head and taking her time tasting the coffee on his lips.

If they could both just keep to that promise, she knew they’d be all right. Everything would be all right.