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#still so sensitive thinking about buster then i’m going to hold onto jasper forever i think. he was so special i could talk about him
arklay · 2 years
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#tw: animal death#tw: animal illness#woke up sobbing cause it finally kicked in that he’s fucking gone. it’s like. i can’t even describe to anyone how just close i was with him#and loved him like he had the sweetest soul even if he was a little cheeky at times and he had these big eyes that were just full of so much#love and soul and i just spent so much time with him the past ten years it feels so weird that he’s just not here. it feels wrong. like this#is his home this is where he’s supposed to be like why isn’t he here… i was walking down the hallway yesterday and like turned my head at my#mum’s room expecting or looking for him to be on the rug he liked and he wasn’t there and it just gutted me but i was so numb i couldn’t cry#or anything and like my mum came home from being out and it was only our other dog barking by herself and it was so tough to hear like his#barking may have hurt my ears and sent me into sensory overload some times but i miss it i miss him so much. i think even though i knew how#sick he was and that we were going to lose him at some point like i just kept denying it would really happen and now i feel so empty without#him here. he brought so much life to our house and he’s just gone. even in the last few months where you could see his eyes getting cloudy#and his walk more wobbly and just he was so tired he still had these moments of bouncing around and his tail just wagging and idk i can’t#stop thinking about him and i know it’s going to take a while before i stop crying just at the mention of his name considering i still#sometimes do with my old cat who died 7 years ago and i wasn’t even that close with cause he had a lot of things going on in his head and#would attack me a lot like he’s story makes me really sad but like what i mean like i had this really big connection with jazz and so if i’m#still so sensitive thinking about buster then i’m going to hold onto jasper forever i think. he was so special i could talk about him#forever i miss him so much#i’m also like feeling just really hurt over something else that’s like related but not so it’s all kicking me this morning#leah.txt
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