#stop infantilizing aac users

[clownrecess]

Talk to me, not about me.

You want to know my name? Ask me. Not the abled person I am with.

I can answer myself. I am not a baby.

People need to stop assuming disabled people cannot answer for themself. Please, stop asking peoples carers and just ask us.

Sometimes we might not be able to answer (example: I usually can't order for myself at restaurants), but we very very well might. So please, just ask us. We arent babies. We are grown people, who are tired of being infantilized and ignored.

[echo-of-sounds]

I've wanted to ask a few people this but I always get too scared. I thought you would be a good person to ask. Do you have any tips on writing for disabled readers?

Uh, sure! I have this little thing I wrote some time ago. It isn't worded the best since I wrote it one morning when I was annoyed, but all my points still stand.

This is by no means a definitive list, and just what I, personally, like and don't like seeing in fanfics when it involves a disabled character or reader.

1: Don't blindly write about a disability if you don't know enough about it. Realize you don't know enough and then research. If you can't take the time or energy to do that, then honestly, don't write about it. I'd rather see nothing about readers with ADHD than insulting, infantilizing pieces that look like someone just read the DSMV criteria for ADHD.

2: Don't just say it's 'a disabled reader' and then never specify beyond that. The word "disability" ranges from autism to amputees to PTSD, paraplegia, mobility aid users, endometriosis, Crohn's disease, agoraphobia, cerebral palsy, chronic migraine, deaf/hard of hearing, the list can go on. If you have someone who has PTSD and agoraphobia in mind, mention that. Or say they're disabled because of their mental health. Or mention if it's a physical and/or chronic condition or if they're a wheelchair user or deaf. The word 'disabled', while not a bad word, is just way too broad to expect every disabled reader to actually relate to what you wrote, so it's best to try to narrow it down a little if possible.

3: Don't write a disabled reader and only have them be suffering all of the time or only mention it once or twice then never again. Yeah, my physical and mental issues cause me pain, some greater than others, but my life isn't only about my disabilities. It isn't 24/7 suffering. But also, it's just there a lot of the time. I always feel something is off. Portraying a disabled character as never being happy or, on the other extreme, just never really mentioning their pain, are both unrealistic.

4: If you write in some magical or sci-fi cure, no matter how in-cannon it may be, don't. It's just ableist. Don't put a disabled character in your work just to have them be cured and finally find happiness. Those tropes are actively harmful to real-life people by perpetuating the idea that disabled people need a cure to find any sort of happiness or contentment in their life.

5: Don't write an "X Character x disabled!reader" then treat the reader like they're incapable of anything. Those with chronic pain know to take their meds. Wheelchair users don't want to be pushed around without their consent (it doesn't matter if they're their partner; a wheelchair is their means of moving and no one should touch it without consent). Mute people or those who use augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) don't want to read "Character Y already knows what you're gonna say so don't bother signing/typing it." That isn't cute or quirky like you may think. Let the disabled person communicate their thoughts/wants/needs and not be spoken over.

6: Be open to criticism and feedback. If you write something that's inaccurate, harmful, or just ableist, don't be put off if someone comments and corrects you, especially if you didn't research. That isn't "unwanted criticism" as some people like to call it. It's wanting to stop the spread of misinformation and ableism within fandom.

[clownrecess]

I have tried and used many AAC programs.

I have used almost every free one available on android, LAMP Words For Life, Proloquo2go, TalkTabletPRO and Avaz. I currently use Avaz.

My favorites are LAMP, Proloquo2go and Avaz.

I don't have acsess to LAMP or Proloquo2go anymore because I use an android tablet for AAC, but Avaz is a very good alternative.

[clownrecess]

(Tw for a VERY brief mention of infantilization)

I want to talk about interacting with AAC users in person, specifically for speaking people.

1. Being an AAC user, I get left behind during conversations a lot because it takes me longer to add in my statement. By the time I'm done, the topic has oftentimes changed and then what I want to say isnt relevant anymore, and sometimes wont even be understood because to everyone else what I just said was out of place and random. This feels really frustrating and sometimes isolating, as well as embarrassing. Please wait for us, we want to converse too.

2. Sometimes when I am not yet done responding, people will watch me and try to guess what I'm going to say. If all I've got down so far is "I already", people might go "I already.. know!" "I already.. saw!" etc. Please stop doing that. Even if you got the idea correct, you might use the wrong words, which frustrates me. And even if you say it all correctly it's still frustrating, imagine if someone tried to guess what you were saying by interrupting you every time you started to talk. It's annoying.

3. Dont comment on what in our folders. If I open a folder to get to another word, and whilst doing that you see a different word in it that's funny or inappropriate or whatever, keep it to yourself. Its annoying. You have acsess to those words, and it isnt treated as weird, so why is it for me?

4. Don't infantilize us. We aren't perpetually children. We are our age. Treat us as if we are a speaking person of our age.

[clownrecess]

AAC users (and any other disabled people) are not "mentally children", and quite honestly, "mental age" in general is very ableist. Stop infantilizing us.

Needing aids does not make you a perpetual child. Liking "childish" things does not make you a perpetual child. Being nonspeaking does not make you a perpetual child. Having high support needs does not make you a perpetual child.

(This post is not about agere, so please do not bring that up, its irrelevant right now. Btw agere is very cool and valid)

[clownrecess]

I want to talk about my experiences with being a disabled trans person, because me being disabled HEAVILY affects my transness.

I am not talking about xenogenders, though that is related as I use xenogenders because I am autistic, I experience gender differently because I am autistic, etc.

What I really want to talk about in this post is my experience with transition as a disabled trans man. At the time of writing this post, I have been on estrogen blockers for four or five years (I think four. Also in a YouTube video I said three or four but I'm just now realizing that's untrue.), and I have been on testosterone for eight months. My blocker is in the form of an implant that I had surgically inserted into my upper left arm. My testosterone is in the form of gel that I take once per day.

Well, usually take once per day. I struggle with taking my testosterone consistently. I take it properly most of the time, but sometimes I forget because of my memory issues, or I just can't because of executive dysfunction. This really frustrates me, but I'm doing the best I can.

Something else I struggle with doing properly is binding. Not all transmascs bind, but I personally do, and I tend to bind for much too long, much too frequently. This is because I go to a special education school that is two hours away from my house, I have to get dressed at 5:00 AM, and I don't get home until around 4:30 PM, but then I am burnt out from school so I need to take a break and calm down with things like music, or playing Animal Crossing. So that brings me to around 5:00 PM.

That is not okay. That is far too long to be binding every day. Please, do not do that. I beg, like please please do not do that.

I also am an AAC user, because I am nonspeaking, or semispeaking (I use the terms interchangeably for myself because I am not somebody who just looses speech for a few months and then goes back to oral speech. I use AAC quite a lot. Everyday. I can use oral speech in some scenarios, but I rely heavily on AAC, and I use it every day no matter what.) Because I use AAC, I have the ability to choose the voice! Which, is good because it prevents dysphoria (mostly, kinda), but it isn't great because there are no voice options that sound like how I hope to sound.

Okay, now for this last bit I want to give a trigger warning. This last section will talk about transphobia, ableism, and infantilization. You've been warned. If this type of stuff upsets you please stop reading.

When I came out as trans, my old old school did not believe I was genuinely trans. Why? Not because they are generally transphobic, no. But because I am autistic, so surely I must not properly understand what being trans is

Can we please treat autistic (and just generally disabled) queer people with respect.. please?? It has been a very very long time since then and I am still very much trans. I was not confused, nor am I now.