#stop-entropy-lie-down

[gooeykit]

can you tell me about MATRIX

Yes. Enzo Matrix from ReBoot 1994 starts off as a mischievous little kid sibling character to Dot Matrix, MainFrame's command dot com. Enzo looks up to her and the new sprite in town, Guardian Bob, who is the best defense MainFrame has against the viral forces as well as the user. The user is the owner of the computer which MainFrame resides, and sends in games which the residents the game has fallen on have to win for their lives, games are equivalent to natural disasters. I digress, Enzo is always trying to get into whatever Bob's doing whenever he's doing it, either helping along the way or being in need of rescue, and post rescue he may even still be of assistance. Enzo, as he's equivalent to ages 9 and 10 in season 1, 2 and early season 3, proves himself very capable despite his occasional need of rescue. He's also very smart, resourceful and insightful, as seen in the episode "High Code".

In the season 2 episode "AndrAIa", Enzo starts being upset with his circumstance of being the only kid sprite left after the Twin City incident, whereas his father, Welman Matrix, had tried to open a port to other systems, accidentally summoning the virus GigaByte, and causing his portal to explode. This created the now city of Lost Angles where Hexadecimal resides, and killing every sprite and binome there. The only sprites who weren't there were Dot and Enzo, unfortunately. Later, a game drops where Enzo is and Bob and Dot just barely make it into it as well, though still distant from him. Enzo meets a game sprite, a new type of enemy that resides in games, which has AI. Her name is Andraia and is also a kid, which excites Enzo and he immediately hits off a friendship with her, not knowing that she wont leave the game with him, as game sprites stay in the game. Andraia becomes saddened when he finds out, as its very upsetting to the both of them, regardless she helps Enzo to beat the game just before the user can, saving all of them. its revealed that she made a copy of herself and attached it to Enzo, helping her to escape the game and live with them in mainframe.

Later in season 2, MainFrame is under siege by web creatures, forcing the Mainframers to team up with Hexadecimal and MegaByte, the resident viruses, and Bob makes Enzo a guardian cadet due to the dire circumstances as well. Just as they manage to get rid of the web creatures, the viral forces turn on the MainFramers, and MegaByte sends Bob into the web before closing the tear. This makes Enzo into the only resident guardian and, despite his age, is tasked with fighting off the viral forces and defending the games, which Andraia will tag along for, and he'll also get general help from the principal office and his sister still. Andraia's game sprite mode made it so that she would not be nullified should she lose a game, and this is passed to Enzo and Mouse, as well as Andraia getting the ability to reboot in games. Despite all this, and his idea to trap the viral forces in a firewall, Enzo takes himself, Andraia, and Frisket, his dog, into a game. Enzo is unable to beat the user and loses his eye in the process. He and the others go into game sprite mode and are sent off in the game, losing themselves from MainFrame.

After this, Enzo, Andraia and Frisket only want to get back to their own system, but grow up as they go around game hopping. Enzo starts going by Matrix at this point and despite his gruff demeanor, only has it up for show, he's jumpy and lacks a trigger finger, but is still compassionate. After a scene where he puts up an intimidating show, claiming nobody wants to save their own system, and storms off, he reveals it was only him trying to make some recruits to train in hopes of the native residents being able to defend themselves and their own system without he and his posse. Much of the episodes around Matrix and co's adult debut is centered around exploring their characters, especially that of Matrix's trauma. I will be the first to admit, ITS VERY CHEESY AND CORNY, its why I like it, I still think that despite this, it's really cool!

I'm not going to give a full synopsis of the show bc this is meant to be about a character, so I'll break off from that here :3 now, I ALWAYS have a soft spot for the token mischievous little boy character, but I rarely like how they grow up. It always ends up being that they lose so much of their values, their playfulness, etc. Matrix, despite being gruff and brooding, deviates from this, because he's still massively compassionate even though he puts up a front, and its a very realistic front all things considered. He still looks up to the same people, he loves the people he's always loved, he's still a go-getter. Matrix is incredibly violent because of everything he'd lost, and now that he's got it back in the end, he wont lose it. The others don't like specifically that he's become as aggressive as he is, but they still respect that its just what he had to be, and he's still loved despite it, partially for it because they know he's like this FOR them. He still needs time to acclimate to relatively calm living because he and the others have been lost for 10 years [within a time dilation tho, he and Andraia grew up rapid fast to everyone experiencing standard time]

Another way he deviates is that he's still a rascal in a way, he doesn't take things seriously if he doesn't feel the need, he loves action, excitement, he loves being shot at with live ammunition and he doesn't like others getting in the way of his fun. he creates issues due to his brashness and his unaccepting of a threat, not because he's stupid or over confident, but because he knows what happens when you're too tolerable. In fact, he's seen being upset with Bob's radical ideals of reprogramming viruses instead of erasing them, Bob who he'd fought for during those 10 years being lost, who he still openly admits to being his hero, who he still actively admires and loves. Still, despite this, he's incredibly trusting of him, showing his anger but backing off, despite the times where it HAS backfired. BLEHHHH he's just so special to me idk if there are a million characters like him, he's still the special one XP

TLDR: i need him

[txttletale]

is there beef between ppl who say petty-bourgeois and ppl who say petit-bourgeois

lets settle this once and for all

[deathbars]

happy merry happy jolly joy :D

YAY AYYAY WAHOO WHOOPEE

[transmonstera]

congratualations and goodlucking on the job!!! you're gonna be so jobbish

just got home from my first shift!!! I am very tired but wow look at me go I'm so employed

[girlballs]

is lesser beast in the elden ring engine, hence all the elden code flying around?

oh, no, lesser beast is an Unreal Engine game. i'm just also making an elden ring mod because i just recently found out how to do that and i'm simmering with lots of "X would be better if it was like Y" regarding elden ring

i would NOT want to try building a new game from the ground up in elden ring's engine lmao this shit is like deciphering occult manuscripts. and also i have none of fromsoft's dedicated content authoring tools

[andhaveapleasanttomorrow]

YOSSSS SPIRRIL hallo thou, dare u to watch a video about concrete

do you have one for me or am I just to type "concrete" into youtube search

[five-rivers]

You Find Yourself on a Chessboard

There is a boy sitting across the table from you, balancing a coin on edge. 

The boy has your face. 

"Order and chaos are two sides of the same coin," says the boy.  He flicks the side of the coin, and it spins across the table like a top.  It comes to a stop in front of you, still spinning, right between and in front of where your hands grip the table.

"Oh?" you say.  You aren't sure what else to say.  "How so?"

"Think about it.  What is, in your opinion, the ultimate expression of chaos?"

You watch the coin continue to spin.  Part of you wants to smack it down.  A stronger part of you is curious.  You want to see how long it will spin.  And you've never been good at denying your curiosity, anyway. 

"Entropy," you say, finally. 

The boy nods.  "Disorder.  Ultimate disorder.  And the end.  The universe in its ground state.  But it's called the law of entropy, isn't it?”

"That's only a convention.  Nature doesn't call it anything."

The boy waves a negligent hand.  "Entropy.  The end.  The heat death of the universe.  A universe where everything is the same, everywhere, forever.  Doesn't that sound like order."

"Maybe," you allow, but, at this point in the conversation, you have more important questions.  Even if you would like to continue a conversation that has to do with space.  "I know I'm dreaming."

"Do you?  That explains some things."

"I practice.  But I didn't come up with you.  Who are you?  And why are you here?"

"Order and chaos."  The boy tilted his head.  "You're taking this much better than the others."

"What others?"

.

You are sitting at a table.  Across from you is something that looks like you, something wearing your face.  It is opening a pack of cards, short neat nails exactly the color of yours tear through plastic and start to pick at the sticker holding the box closed. 

You can't take this anymore.  You stand and slam your hands down on the table. 

"Who are you?" you demand.  "Where am I?"

The thing across from you looks up, and you feel relieved it got the eyes wrong, until you remember - mirrors.  It doesn't have anything wrong at all. 

"You've been dealt a bad hand, haven't you?"

"What?"

The thing looked back down at the box of cards and finally got them open.  The paper rectangles slid out into its hand, and it started shuffling them.  "Did you know, there are more than eight times ten to the sixty-seventh different combinations for a deck of cards?  That's fifty-two factorial, by the way."

You narrow your eyes and cross your arms.  You are feeling for the wires under your skin, but they lie quiescent.  Unresponsive. 

"Why have you brought me here?"

"It's sort of ordered chaos.  Card games, I mean.  Chaos from order.  Or order from chaos.  You're aiming more for the second one."

"Answer my question, ghost."

"You have every right to be angry."  It slid a card from the top of the deck and flipped it over.  The king of clubs.  "Racism." It drew another card, the queen of hearts.  "A missing mother."  The ten of diamonds.  "Poverty."  The jack of spades.  "A doomed love.  And then there's you." It revealed one more card, the ace of diamonds.  "All alone.  But you are what you need to make a bad hand a good one."  It rearranged the cards, lightning fast.

The hand it dealt was a straight, you realize.  Not the best hand, but not a low one, either. 

"So… the question is, which side are you going to choose?" 

"Side?"

.

There is a chessboard in front of you, ready for a new game, all the pieces set up.  The white pieces are on your side.

Seated in the white velvet chair across from you is your doppleganger.  It smiles, all your own cunning and trickery reflected back at you full force. 

“Fancy a match?” the doppleganger asks, gesturing to the board. 

“What is the meaning of this?” you ask.  You are, you notice as your hands curl around armrests, sitting in a black leather chair.  The room you are in has no visible doors.  It also doesn’t feel like a proper room, and you have to wonder what part of the Ghost Zone you are in. 

“Chess?” your double asks, deliberately misunderstanding.  “It doesn’t particularly have a meaning, except as a diversion, an entertainment.  Or do you mean the metaphor?”

You stand and throw the board, table and all, to one side in a single, powerful motion.  “I’m not in the mood,” you say.  “You must know who you are dealing with.  So, why have you brought me here?  What are you playing at?”

Your doppelganger laughs.  You grit your teeth.  You’re a billionaire, a public figure.  You’ve heard yourself recorded more times than you can count.  But your laugh can’t possibly sound like this, can it?

"It's one thing applied to your young rival, but for you it's different, is that it?"  The doppelganger smirked.  "It's about applying order to chaos - your order.  No one else's."

You've had quite enough of this, and you reach for your other side, your other half, your ghost--

It doesn't come. 

The doppelganger laughs again and stands.  They put both hands on your chest. 

"I hope you have fun," they say.  "The other players are ready." 

Then they push you and you fall back into the dark. 

.

The first thing you notice is that you are no longer wearing your own clothes.  The next thing is that you’re lying down and not particularly comfortable.  The third is that the coin the other-you had earlier is still spinning, hovering an inch or so over your palm.

So.  You get up.  Look around.  Resist the urge to swear, because you’re not that kind of a hero, and if you get into the habit you know you’ll never stop. 

The ground is stone.  Marble.  Big squares of alternating black and white, like a chessboard.  It’s also shaped, molded into hills and valleys and even some fairly convincing trees.  You can see a castle in the distance. 

You must, you reasons, be somewhere in the Ghost Zone. 

Not that that really helps all that much.  They’re called the Infinite Realms, not the Easily Navigable Backyard.

Still.  The chess theme makes you feel uneasy.  Will you be expected to fight someone?

You hear a sound behind you and turn.

.

The first thing you see is Danny.  He is standing, holding something cupped between his hands, looking away across the checkerboard hills.  He is wearing all black, loose clothes, topped by a soft, round, almost spherical hat. 

You must make some kind of sound, because he turns to face you, and you can see, now, that the thing in his hand is a silver coin, levitating, spinning, in the palm of his left hand.  He looks at you in surprise, blue eyes bright against the monochrome features of this place. 

“Oh,” says Danny, softly, “Valerie.  I guess it was you they were talking about?”

“Someone was talking about me?”

“Sort of.  There was…  I guess they must have been a shapeshifter or something, because they looked just like me.  They said there were others.  So, you, and I guess there must be someone else?”

“Not with me,” you say.  “What are you wearing?”

“Don’t know.  Just woke up with it.  I guess it’s the same for you?”

You look down at yourself.  You haven’t done so since you first… appeared here.  You’re wearing red, vibrant and garish.  The color distracts you, momentarily, from the fact that it’s in a military cut. 

You are holding the deck of cards in your left hand.  You drop the cards in surprise, but, to your dismay, they scatter back into your hand. 

Danny stares at the cards in mild…  She isn’t sure what to call the expression, but it isn’t surprise. 

His head jerks up, suddenly, and an expression of disgust passes over his face.  You turn to see Vlad Masters, all in white.  A cape snaps behind him, although there is no wind.  You feel your lips curl as well. 

.

You look down at the two teenagers, your disdain matching theirs. 

“Daniel,” you say. 

“Vlad,” he spits back. 

Valerie Gray says nothing.  You aren’t sure what you’ve done to earn her enmity.  Perhaps she still has some hard feelings regarding that mess with Danielle despite seeming to accept your explanation. 

“Well,” you say into the silence.  “It would appear we are on opposite sides, Daniel.”

“Don’t give me that,” says Daniel.  “You don’t know what’s going on any more than we do.  Do you really want to start fighting us when there could be so many other enemies out there?”

The coin spinning in Daniels hand stops for a split second, a winking head catching your eye.  Of course, Daniel didn’t notice at all, too busy glaring up at you. 

“Oh,” you say.  “Of course I didn’t mean that we should cooperate with whatever horrible ghosts put us here.  But I am certain there’s a reason you are black and I am white.  This is a chessboard, after all.”

“Or a checkerboard.  Val’s in red.”

“Of course she is.”  That is the color of her suit, after all.

“And,” says Daniel, as if scoring a grand point in the ongoing and very one-sided battle of wits the two of you engage in, “you’re the only one carrying a chess set.  Colors mean different things in cards.”

“Or blind luck?” you sneer at his coin.

Daniel falls silent, the coin flashes tails.  Then a flower.  How many sides does it have?

“Maybe.  But considering the circumstances, I think you could use some luck, don’t you?”

You survey your surroundings.  “Well.  Yes.  I suppose so.  Now…  I believe we should go that way.”  You point to a castle you see in the distance, one that shines a gleaming white.  You don’t know anything about it, but seizing control of the situation early on is important. 

“No,” says Valerie, crossing her arms.  “You don’t know anything about ghosts, right?”  Her eyes flicked to Danny. 

Oh, trying to use a witness to manipulate you?  How precious. 

“I did work with Daniel’s parents, my dear.”

“I don’t think we should go near the ghost castle,” insists Valerie. 

“I agree,” says Daniel, quickly.  “We should try to find a small group of people first.  Something we can handle.  Castles have armies.  We don’t want to deal with a hostile one.”

A white castle being more likely to be friendly to a fellow man in white, you would generally disagree.  However, Daniel and Valerie trying to leverage each other against you is amusing.  So, you’ll play their little game for a while longer. 

You nod. 

[beelovesnct]

[𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧] 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞

— [the night of the shooting for 8lace: chillin in the dream]

word count: 1.5k words

It was two in the morning, and yet Renjun can't feign sleepiness. His mindless and countless thoughts about everything under the sun were forcing him into a spiral of deep pondering.

Making sure he was quiet, he slipped out of Haechan's embrace, tiptoeing across the bed, descending into the stairs. He opened the sliding door and walked towards the swimming pool, taking a seat in one of the chaise lounges, his head perked, gazing intently at what seemed to be a full moon.

Beautiful, Renjun thought,

Though it seems as it's incredibly lonely.

With his eyes still stuck at the round phenomenon, he focused his other senses on his surroundings: the sound of the cicadas, the subtle rustling of the leaves, and even the silent whistle of the wind.

Renjun began to unwind.

He let his thoughts that he felt too constricted to let wander back inside the house, together with his friends that felt more like brothers, infiltrate his brain—going to and from different perceptions, about the world and the universe.

He saw what he thought to be a planet, and drifted into the aliens outside of this world—where they could be, or what they could be doing at the moment, Are they looking up the stars as I am now?

His eye then caught a glint of a shooting star and immediately his brain was pulled into a pondering on theories—in entropy. He couldn't help it—being lectured on the topic the moment their repackaged album was announced.

A concept about outer space! He jeered, but came to dread about having to learn a bit of its technical aspect.

To be fair, they weren't required to learn the complicated concepts about it (it wasn't as if he was in school anyway), instead assigned to simply watch a crash course on the general stuff.

So entropy, he remembered, the thing about always being in a sense of chaos and disorder.

Renjun scoffed, his thoughts now a little bit more personal as he wondered about his own life, shaking his head at the thought, "Where's the lie in that."

He leaned further, doing a little bit more probing into the limitations of his mind—thinking deeply in attempts to remember what else he learned in that afternoon that he let himself be pulled into a science-frenzy of youtube crash courses.

Eventually, he whispered, "Multi-verse."

The other interesting thing...his mind started to churn.

Multiverse was a hypothetical theory—not quite given enough empirical evidence to be considered a fact, but for Renjun who's interests dabbled more into fiction, it was an interesting thought to entertain—quite possibly a fleeting one, but still a good one.

Multiverse, he repeated once more in his mind.

The idea that there's another version of me out there, he stretched his arms outwards, his palms wide as if reaching something, yet there was nothing but empty space.

He let out a sigh and placed his hands back down, his mind now settling into a quiet hum—the initial overdrive of thoughts fading into a silent buzz.

Head now empty, he let himself relax—his eyes mindlessly focused into the stars in the sky, some of them twinkling.

Renjun felt his lips curl, the typical Seoul skyline too bright to let him truly appreciate and even notice the twinkling stars—unbelievably dazzling and beautiful...

Much like,

He stopped, noticing how the emptiness of his brain was suddenly filling up with dangerous thoughts—thoughts that he tried so hard not to think about, effectively distracting himself with aliens and multiverse, and...

He heaved a sigh, "Fuck."

Fortunately, for him, his spiral into self-destruction was disrupted by a soft click.

Turning his torso, he saw Aiko—tiredly rubbing her eyes as she made her way into his space.

"Fuck me." He muttered with a frustrated tone, though his expression say otherwise.

Immediately, he masked his panic.

"What're you doing up?" He asked in the gentlest tone he could muster the moment the female idol was within earshot.

Aiko nonchalantly shrugged, lying on the lounge just beside him.

With a soft mutter, she responded, "I saw you go out. And when you didn't come back I thought I'd come and fetch you."

She leaned into her sides to observe Renjun—him thanking the gods it was nighttime, the darkness hiding the reddening tips of his ears, no doubt due to the adorable nature of the female in front of him.

"It's still too late to be awake, I was worried."

Renjun was quietly staring, feeling his own heartbeat pound louder to the point that he was afraid Aiko would hear it—that, and he was scared to let himself speak, fearing that he'd blurt out the one thought he'd been repressing the past few weeks.

"What were you doing here?" Aiko asked once more, not noticing his sudden quietness.

Snapping out of his Aiko-induced reverie, Renjun looked back up the night sky—hoping the view would distract him from the person of his dreams (the real view was beside you!).

"Uh." He cleared his throat.

"Just thinking," He started, taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself down.

"About what?"

It took him a while to answer, calculating his response,

"Just stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

Not wanting to reveal how he was close to thinking about her again—the way she smiles, the way she'd huff when she was annoyed, or even the way she'd subtly take care of the members—STOP!, he spiraled back into the thoughts he was having just before all of that.

Mentally patting himself on the shoulder, he responded, "Multiverse."

Aiko hummed, a knowing smile on her face, "So the possibility of another version of this world—of you and me."

She shook her head in amusement, "That's so like you to ponder about these things."

Not paying mind to the backhanded insult, Renjun probed, pleasantly surprised, "You know about the multiverse?"

There was a lazy nod, "You know you're not the only science fiction fan here."

Renjun let out a relaxed chuckle—being able to momentarily forget about his newfound feelings as the banter continued, focusing instead on the conversation he was having with his friend, "That's right, I momentarily forgot you were a nerd."

"Hey!" Aiko feigned a warning, prompting both of them to laugh softly.

"So, what about the multiverse?"

Renjun stopped laughing, gazing into the twinkling stars once more—stars that he knew, or at least believed were more than the freckle of dots they were seeing at the moment.

"The multiverse—a myriad of worlds, I just—I thought of the other me out there." He began, though it being quite a bit of a white lie, knowing that he never even got to ponder into the topic when she barged into his mind space so quickly.

"The non-idol you, perhaps?" Aiko didn't even notice,

Renjun nodded his head, "Yeah, particularly that. I just thought of the possibilities, you know."

"Would I have pursued classical music, went to uni, or done something else." The lie flowed out perfectly that Renjun was convinced he wasn't lying anymore, his true thoughts spilling effortlessly like overflowing water.

A soft breath came from his lips, "I love the limelight, but sometimes I can't help but wonder—"

"The what-ifs," Aiko interjected, her head shaking in understanding.

"I find myself wondering about the same thing often too."

Now this made Renjun snap his head to her face—her side profile as she watched the stars with awe.

"Really?" He asked in a slight daze,

Aiko was never one to complain, never even one to portray her vulnerability so willingly and openly, especially in front of him (it was typically Jaemin she'd go to), so he reveled at the moment.

Aiko waved her hand, noticing the shift in the atmosphere, "It's nothing, just dumb stuff—like what if I did went to uni like you would, but I'd probably fail my first class there." She let out a chuckle, sheepishly scratching her nape.

"That's not true..." Renjun was still staring,

"You're one of the smartest people I know." It was soft, a genuine compliment from the typically sarcastic member; and so Aiko showed a grateful smile.

"Thanks." A simple response; another wave of her hand and Aiko effectively shifts the scope of the topic into a more lighthearted one—or so she thought.

"But if we did go to uni, I would very much doubt that. We would probably never meet anyway, so I wouldn't be the 'smartest person you know.'"

Suddenly, any traces of joy was gone from Renjun's face—leaving a devasted expression that Aiko never saw, "You don't think we'll be together in another world?"

The girl in question hummed, thinking deeply before stating a simple, "No."

She spread her arms out as if showing a distance bit enough for her hands to never meet, "Our real worlds are too far apart from each other, it was KWANGYA that brought us together."

Another lighthearted jab, but Renjun wasn't having it.

A moment of silence passed.

Renjun's mind going into a whirlwind of thoughts before eventually settling on a question, "Then what about another life?"

Aiko spared him a glance, "You mean reincarnation?"

A simple nod.

"That terribly romantic of you, Renjun-ah." Aiko scoffed, her lips curling into a smirk.

The boy shrugged, "So is it a yes or a no?"

Aiko raised her eyebrows, "Why the persistence?"

As if expecting the question, Renjun smiled lopsidedly, "I'm a romantic—persistence is my middle name."

A snort, shaking her head before eventually answering, "A possibility, Renjun, a gray area, neither one nor the other—never a black or white."

He hummed in understanding, satisfied with her response for now.

"I'll take it."

For Aiko, who came back inside after complaining how it was cold, Renjun's retort was nothing out of the ordinary, he'll take it—meaning, he'll take the answer as a concession of defeat into their typical bantering. I'll get you back, she can practically hear Renjun's voice in her head, chuckling as she closed the sliding door, waving gently before disappearing.

But for Renjun, the statement implied something more—something greater.

He waved back, his mind more calm than ever as he let his thoughts wander for the last time that night.

In this life of the limelight—as celebrities who were basically made to shine and glimmer for thousands to appreciate, comparable to the stars in the sky, there was simply too much to lose, and he was too much of a coward to risk it.

But in another life—a life of school and uni, maybe even classical music; essentially, in a life of normalcy, he'd be the romantic. He'd be the one who'd leave notes in the locker, sing the cringiest of love songs, and even stay up all night to plan the most elaborate of promposals (as he heard from Mark's Western movies), all of that and more, for the girl he loves.

In this life, he was content with being friends—with watching her from afar, too near yet too untouchable to truly become his.

But he promises, in another...

In another...

Aiko would be mine.

I've had this draft before I went into my vv long hiatus, so I thought I'd share it with you guys! As a mark of my return (???) hihihi. Hope you enjoyed it! OH! And this is part of the series, the one where everyone gets the feelings.

[shineforthee]

CHAPTER 16: I'm just a man but I know that I'm damned

As if Dean has not already given Castiel everything, he gives him the gift of softening too. Of stripping down all the layers he has always worn to survive, and showing Castiel everything tender and bruise-blue underneath.

He still puts it all back on again, of course. Still covers himself in armour each morning, bitter and determined and proficient. Dean goes through books with a meticulousness that borders on obsession. Castiel has never bought into the lie that Dean is any less intelligent than Sam, but he can see, now, why Sam does more of the research.

Dean won’t stop.

He applies himself to the task with the same dedication that he does all other aspects of hunting. Won’t skip pages, opens even the most unlikely of volumes just in case. It’s all-consuming, and it lacks the clinical detachment of Sam’s approach to research.

Not only does Dean insist upon reading it all, but he feels it, too. Takes a sip of liquor every time he reads some gruesome piece of history, or violent spell. Considering the subject matter, Castiel sees him drink far too often.

But every night, Dean softens. Lets the mask fall, lets Castiel see all the guilt that he’s always known was beneath it. It isn’t new to Castiel, it doesn’t surprise him. The difference now is that Dean gives it to him willingly, if with some nervous hesitation. He lets Castiel see how ashamed he feels, how tired all that shame is making him. Then lets Castiel bear it with him for a while. Lets Castiel hold it in his hands, take it onto his tongue, swallow it in the dark.

And early every morning, Dean shows him how badly he wants to touch something gently. Grants Castiel the privilege of being that something. Strokes fingers through Castiel’s hair, presses his mouth to the curve of Castiel’s shoulder, mumbles honest, sleep-soft words into his ear that Castiel knows he would never say in the light and in the true day.

It’s a gift.

[vegance]

can you please recommend some of your favourite tumblr accounts that focus on veganism/animal welfare/etc? you and acti-veg are my personal faves! 💜

sorry if you have answered this before or have a list somewhere already!

thank you!!

i'm super bad at these lists, forgetting almost everyone but some blogs that i really like: @sobadpink @nohugsgiven @thatveganwhiterose @oediebees @stop-entropy-lie-down @mali-umkin @deathbars @but-is-it-vegan

activeg also has a list of vegan blogs!!!

edit: also i have a vegan cottagecore blog if you're interested. but i don't post any discourse on there, just vegan friendly aesthetics :)

[redpanda-roleplay-hoard]

Starset "Transmission" Album Starters

FIRST LIGHT

The things we think to be inconsequential can affect the future unintentionally.

Once you had the power to effect monumental change, would you let fear consume? Or would you overcome?

We can change our fate.

We can change the future.

We can change the past.

DOWN WITH THE FALLEN

I have seen an empire falling.

Can you tell me what is real, ‘cause I’ve lost my way again.

Can you tell me how to feel, ‘cause I don’t feel anything.

I’ll fight forever.

I will not run.

I will not fall.

I will not bury it.

This is war.

HALO

You are not alone.

You make me superhuman.

If you need me to, I will save you.

If I’m lost in the world’s shadow, I’ll use the light that comes to me from your halo.

When you’re backed against the wall, I could be the one who's always there to break your fall.

You are not alone.

I will save you.

CARNIVORE

All my life they let me know how far I would not go.

Who are you to change this world, Silly boy?

No one needs to hear your words.

Could you come and change me?

Take away everything I am.

I'll be what you wanted.

TELESCOPE

I hear you calling from behind the star fields.

I feel you radiating energy like eternal northern lights.

I see you watching over me across the sky.

I find you in the night.

I will travel the distance in your eyes.

I will find you.

IT HAS BEGUN

Even a well lit place can hide salvation.

Fairy tales are not found; they're written in the walls.

Nothing could ever stop us from stealing our own place in the sun.

We will face the odds against us and run into the fear we run from.

It has begun.

MY DEMONS

The ship is slowly sinking.

They think I'm crazy, but they don't know the feeling.

They're all around me circling like vultures.

They wanna break me and wash away my colors.

We are one and the same.

Save me if I become my demons.

I cannot stop this sickness taking over.

I need your help; I can't fight this forever.

I know you're watching. I can feel you out there.

I need a savior to heal my pain.

DARK ON ME

There's no hate.

There's no love.

You're my dark star.

I found in you what was lost in me.

I could lie awake just to watch you breathe.

How could you just walk away and leave me here?

You were all I've got to guide me home.

LET IT DIE

I had plans to make you whole.

There's nothing left, but I'm not leaving.

Your eyes stare right through me.

You're so far gone, but I'm not leaving

You left me more dead than you'll ever know when you left me alone.

THE FUTURE IS NOW

They said there was no way.

I will let the science bring the change.

I am gonna take the past away.

With the full force of a dying star, I will find you.

I'm falling through a dark sunrise.

I will escape the entropy.

I will bring you back to me.

POINT OF NO RETURN

I can't go back

The ashes call my name.

The glow of the fire will light up the night.

I know, this is the point of no return.

There's something sinister about the way it hurts when I watch it burn because I can't go back.

I won't turn around.

[txttletale]

you guys have a tank of worms in soil and a live video feed and you all watch them writhe around and eat leaves and mulch etc. and you have given them all names and love to discuss their lives. and now you're posting about them. and that's Worm.

yeah :)

[deathbars]

the serious birthdayguy. the birth of the you. welcpme to your every future now, and congratilations, and happy birthday. you're alive

F R i am so living and imgoing to use this ask to post my birthday drawing tradition image a day late because i was so sobusy eating food anyyway im 21 now and i bought a dr pepper at a smoke shop jusst to make a statement

[markadoo]

There’s a ballbusting domme whose Twitter and blog I used to read. She also produced videos, but those never appealed to me. Even aside from the pricetags, they were just too intense. Take this one, “Squeeze Me”

Hey, wait, hold on. £23.00? She’s British? Didn’t they pass that “rough sex” law in 2020? I remember that both from Tumblr and from Collective Shout, that Australian feminist organization I showed some finds from a while back.

The Tumblr post, which was opposed to the law (I can’t find it but I remember) rather overstated its extent. The post said that it outright criminalizes “rough sex”, whereas the real law

only applies if actual bodily harm occurs.

So, most of her videos, where the guy is in a lot of pain but doesn’t get seriously injured, would, I think, not be in violation of this law. But this one, where something that I would certainly classify as “actual bodily harm or other more serious injury” happens, would be punishable as assault, no matter how much the guy consented to having his testicle ruptured, which in this case is “fully”. As opposed to the case of “Squeeze Me 2”, which is arguably “kinda”. Wait, what?

OK, so in the first Squeeze Me, the guy specifically consented to the rupture of a testicle, but in the second the guy consented to “anything”, which ended up being the rupture of a testicle. I’m not sure about this interpretation, but I think in that the second, she wasn’t specifically aiming to rupture it, she just squeezed it hard enough that it did. She didn’t intend it to happen, but neither did she intend it not to.

But even if it were a complete accident, if she were specifically aiming to cause pain and avoid rupture, she’d probably still be considered guilty of assault were she tried, since the commentary on the law repudiates the “rough sex gone wrong” defense.

One question you may have is “is she aware of this law?” And my answer is, probably not. In a March 2021 blog post (which, incidentally, corroborates my interpretation of Squeeze Me 2), she writes

which, in light of the 2020 law, is clearly in error.

Of course, she may have become aware of the law since then. She hasn’t stopped plugging Squeeze Me 1 & 2 though.

…

The notion that one cannot consent to physical harm in sexual contexts, while codified in the 2020 act, is not new to British law. Indeed, in one of the above screenshots, they cite R v Brown [1993], in which five men were prosecuted for consensual acts of CBT, such as hot-wax sounding and the nailing of foreskins to boards. And in creating the 2008 law against possession of “extreme pornography” (part of the Criminal Justice and Immigration Act of 2008), the Home Office expressed their rationale thus.

Hey wait! The 2008 law against possession of extreme pornography! Are the Squeeze Me videos in violation of that?

And not only would she be on the hook, bit anyone who bought the videos as well.

Note that it says “or is likely to result”. This is ambiguous of course, but it might call even more videos into question. This one, “Elastrator Experiments”, comes to mind.

I mean, you can’t get much more explicit than that.

In a session described in the above-excerpted blog-post, section Trick Ball Vice! (NOT the same session as Elastrator Experiments), she writes

Even though she knows that it could cause necrosis, it didn’t. (“Flat and purple, looked like dead zombie balls” describes the appearance of heavily bruised, not necrotic, testicles) Since there is no lasting injury, and she doesn’t possess video of the session, neither law is violated.

Anyway, that’s the law. You can discuss the morality.

• NOTES •

This is not a “callout” or anything, and I certainly don’t want her prosecuted. I just found this interesting to investigate.

She uses phrases like “ruined”, “to oblivion”, “de-nutted”, etc., but she’s being hyperbolic. If you can get to a surgeon in 72 hours, testicular rupture can be fully repaired 90% of the time.

@stop-entropy-lie-down opines, correctly I think, that these laws are unlikely to be prosecuted unless she is sued by a client or investigated for a separate crime. It’s worth noting that the case of R v Brown was part of a Thatcher-era police crackdown on the gay BDSM scene.

[stop-entropy-lie-down]

Don't Eat Plastic You Stupid Fish

first song I ever wrote, back in 2019. it's about our relationship with nature. the duck fact it contains has since been contested

[andhaveapleasanttomorrow]

HASHTAG ZERO NINE

what do it mean 🤔

it's just my talk tag. this has been asked a few times now so I guess I'll elaborate more. the number itself doesn't mean much aside from it being a number I like. I tag my posts with something specific rather than #talk or #personal so it's easy to blacklist. I've always feared that people don't want to see me saying random shit so I try to make it easier for people who hate me to follow me, for some reason