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goquokka00 · 2 days

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More Than Anything

Summary: You and Bangchan had been in a very healthy relationship for 8 months. It was obvious that you were both head over heels, but there was a tiny issue...you've never had sex before. This is the story of how Chan slowly helped you gain confidence for your first time with him.

Pairing: Bangchan X Reader (F!)

Genre: Smut (MDNI), Fluff

Warnings: nipple play, handjob, spitting, oral sex (male and female receiving), unprotected penetrative sex (reader is on the pill but please wrap it before you tap it guys), praise, cum shot, pet names, Chan kinda guides reader, sickeningly sweet Chan, 100% 18+ (seriously like if you're a minor don't read pls and thank you <3)

Word Count: 7.7K

You still couldn't believe that you had been in a healthy relationship with the man of your dreams for 8 whole months. Hell, you couldn't believe that you were dating the one and only Christopher Bangchan. Even after all this time of being able to be by his side through the good times and bad, through all of his wins and failures.

You considered yourself extremely lucky. And so did he.

He had an incredible woman who was so sweet and so kind to him. When he didn't take care of himself, you were there to yell at him for not going to bed, or not eating or drinking enough water. There were times you even threw pillows at his head just so you could try and get him to listen to you. And if he was being completely honest, he wouldn't have it any other way.

Well, he would. And you would too. See, you both loved your relationship. It went from a honeymoon phase of you two being extremely giddy and clingy, to a much more serious relationship. You both still made time to see each other a lot, Chan coming to visit you as much as he could. But it wasn't just cuddling up while watching a movie, sharing small pecks and kissing each other's cheeks and noses and foreheads anymore.

Almost every time you two were together, makeout sessions would occur. Hands would start wandering. And every time that Chan thought he could take it further, you'd always back out. Every single time, without fail.

Now, back when the two of you were fresh into the relationship, and makeout sessions would rarely occur, Chan could understand. The two of you didn't know each other that well. Hell, even he didn't want to push anything all the way yet. But, that was way back then.

Now? Now you two knew each other way better. You two knew each other so well, it scared the other members of Stray Kids any time they heard Chan talking about you. But...when it came to taking things past the making out like highschoolers...you'd back out.

The reason for you was simple enough. At least, that was what you thought. You hadn't ever had sex. You were a virgin. And while you wanted nothing more than to have Chan fuck you senseless, you were scared. More scared than you thought. Partly because of all the questions you had.

What if it hurt? What if it didn't fit? What if he didn't like what you had to offer? What if he didn't like the fact that you weren't experienced? What if he didn't like your body? What if things got awkward afterward?

All of these questions, and so many more, and nobody to go to. At least, that was what you felt. And so, you backed out.

But...you didn't realize what messages were being sent to Chan.

Tonight wasn't much different from the other nights you two hung out. Greet each other by the door, eat the food Chan brought with him and visit about your days while eating dinner, then go to the couch to put on the show you two had decided to start together, only to end with you in Chan's lap, lip locked with the incredible man.

Kisses with Chan were always so magical. His lips were plush and soft, and always moisturized due to him using Chapstick religiously. And the way he held you to him every time you two made out, his tongue dancing perfectly with yours? Oh, it MELTED you.

But, you didn't fail to notice how his hands started to wander. At first, they were wrapped around you, just resting. You didn't really mind that. But it was when his hands started to move up your sides, his thumbs going to just sit under your breasts when you knew what he was up to.

And so, you pulled away, out of breath. Your eyes laid on his closed ones, that opened in the confused manner they usually did. And as usual, you were the first to speak.

"I-I...I can't...I'm so sorry..." It was the same thing, over and over. You always said you were sorry, but Chan was really starting to have a hard time believing it.

And this time, he decided to speak up about it.

"You always say that, though." Chan's voice was soft, but he sounded upset. Was he upset that you weren't letting him fuck you? You were about to speak up, until Chan continued. "Is...Is it me?"

"What?"

"Am I doing something wrong? Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"What? No, No, Chris, that's not--You're perfect!"

"Then why do you always wanna stop? Do you not see me like that?"

"Of course, I do. Trust me, I really, really want to, Chris. Seriously."

"Then what is it?" His voice was soft, yearning to understand. It was how Chan always was. He was so sweet like that, always wanting to help you if you needed it. Even if it was just him listening to you, he'd be there in a flash. But you just couldn't get yourself to look at him.

"It's stupid."

"It's not stupid, nothing is stupid if it's troubling you, hun." Once he said that, he placed a hand onto your cheek, guiding your face to his, tilting his head. God, he looked like a confused puppy. You'd gush over him if you weren't feeling so embarrassed right now. "You know I love you, right?"

"...yes."

"And that you can talk to me?"

"Yeah."

"Then talk to me. Please, Y/n?" Chan placed a peck to your lips, giving you a smile. "I wanna understand what's going on. It could be the dumbest shit ever, and I'd still listen. You know that. So what's going on?"

You took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. You didn't want to look at him when you said it. But he was holding your face so that you'd look directly into his eyes. Those warm, comforting, sweet eyes of his that you usually could never look away from. But then, you said it.

"I... I've never had sex before." You watched for Chan's reaction, seeing him keep a warm smile on his face. He was wanting you to continue. "I just...I'm nervous about a lot of it. I want our first time to be good, y'know? And I feel like I'm gonna disappoint you because I haven't done it before."

"Oh, you could never disappoint me, sweetheart." Chan brought you down for another kiss, pulling back and brushing some hair out of your face. "And I don't care if you haven't had sex before. Really, I don't."

"Really?"

"Really." Chan nodded at your small question. "I love you for you, not for your experience in bed. What will make having sex with you magical is getting to do it with you. It doesn't have to be mind-blowing, or hardcore. As long as it's with you, I'm happy."

"But what if it's not what you expect?" You couldn't help but ask questions. You were an overthinker. Thankfully, Chan had plenty of experience with overthinkers, thanks to being a father of 6 with a motherly figure who stuffed his children's mouths with tissues.

"I'm not expecting a lot from you, hun. I just want you. Point blank period." Chan then took your hand with his own, kissing it.

"And if it hurts?" That made sense for you to be scared about. Thankfully, Chan had an answer.

"We'll go slow. I'll prepare you and wait for when you're ready." Chan gave you a smile, watching you take a breath to try and calm your nerves. And before you could ask him anything else, Chan spoke up again. "Y/n, there's no need to rush into it. It'll happen when it happens. Okay?"

Hearing him say that made you feel a lot better. Chan was a man of his word, too. He would wait. Especially now that he knew you were nervous. If that was all it was, then he'd wait until the end of the earth. And you knew that, too.

"Okay."

After having that talk with Chan, you felt a little more confident in yourself. A little. You were still scared to shove something in a hole that's never had anything in it before, but it was completely understandable. Thankfully, Chan would be willing to wait until you were completely ready.

Speaking of, you had just gotten back to your apartment from work, already feeling exhaustion hit you like a bus. Your plan of action was to just change into one of Chan's sweatshirts and shorts, lay on the couch, order food, and watch a movie.

And so, you did your thing, changing and getting onto the couch, relaxing with a blanket before starting to search for a movie. It didn't take you too long to just pick one that showed up, deciding on good old 'Enola Holmes'.

It was when you were just about to order food when you got a phone call from Chan. An unexpected phone call. But you still picked up, a smile on your face. You couldn't help it, you were in love.

"Hello?"

"Hey! Can I let myself in?"

"What?"

"I'm outside of your apartment, I brought some, um...what are these called again...? Oh, whatever, I'm here with food. Can I come in?" You practically laughed at your boyfriend's words, before speaking up.

"Yes, you can. Door should be unlocked."

"Perfect! See you in like, 2 seconds!" And in two seconds you saw him, indeed. He came right through the door, shutting it and taking off his shoes before coming over to the couch, smiling when he saw your face. "Hello, gorgeous!"

"Channie, I thought you had work until late tonight." Not that you were complaining. He bent down, placing a peck on your lips as he sat next to you, setting the bags of snacks and drinks down.

"I was supposed to work late tonight, but our manager let us off early. Figured I still had time to come and see my favorite girl!" Chan explained. He then hugged your side, noticing the movie that was playing. "Enola Holmes? Again?"

"What? It's a good movie!" You whined. Chan only laughed, starting to open a bag of chips as you leaned against him, drinking a bit from your water bottle. Sure, you may have seen the movie about a hundred times, but you couldn't help it. The series was good, in your eyes.

That's what the two of you did for a while. Eat, catch up, and watch Enola Holmes. It was when the second movie in the series started when you both settled down, you still leaning against Chan while he had an arm over your shoulder. You were engrossed in the movie, paying attention to every little detail.

But then, you felt a hand on your stomach.

You glanced over to Chan for a moment, knowing that it was him. But he was watching the movie, seemingly engrossed into what was going on. Little shit.

And so, you went back to watching the movie, only to feel his hand go further up, going right in between your breasts, up to your chin. You did your best not to say anything, just wanting one night of peace, but you always said something.

So you kept your mouth shut, wanting to see where this would go.

Chan tilted your head to the side, keeping his eyes on the TV as he placed a few kisses onto your neck, going up to your cheek, only to go to your ear, giving it light nibbles. Okay, he was definitely up to something.

"Chan..." It was like a warning. A warning that Chan was going to happily take. And throw into the garbage.

"Just relax..." His voice came out in a whisper, gently guiding your head to face his, only for him to gently kiss you. And who were you to not kiss the man back?

The kiss was soft and gentle enough, but it didn't stay like that for very long. Before you even knew it, the kiss had picked up, the two of you moving in sync with passion, tongues twisting together. Your arms were around Chan's neck, Chan's hands firmly on your waist. And before long, Chan's hands started to wander. One slipped underneath the hoodie you had on, the other going to your cheek as he pulled away from you.

"Can I keep going?" This time, he wanted to make sure you were okay to continue. And upon seeing you hesitate, Chan continued. "Just a little further? We don't have to go all the way."

You liked that idea.

"O-Okay." With a shy nod from you, Chan smiled, before grabbing the base of the hoodie, slowly pulling it up a little bit. But then, he stopped and looked to you.

"Can I take this off?"

"Yeah." You nodded once more, before watching as Chan pulled the hoodie off of you. And like that, your top half was exposed to him. He knew you hated wearing bras at night, so he was expecting you to not have one on. But...he wasn't expecting to see perfection.

"Holy shit, you're so beautiful..." Chan then looked up at you, placing his hands back onto your waist. "Can... Can I touch your chest? Are you okay with that?"

"Y-Yeah..." And then, Chan looked back down at your beautiful chest, staring at it in awe before slowly reaching towards it, placing his hands over them, just squeezing them a bit.

They were so soft...so squishy, so...perfect. He slid his hands down, placing them just underneath before lifting them up, admiring them in his own way. They were so beautiful, just like you were to him. He also didn't fail to notice your perky nipples, screaming for attention.

"Ch-Chan..." You breathed out, watching him work with your chest. Chan looked up, giving you a concerned look.

"Is this okay? Does it feel good?"

"Yeah...i-it does..." Chan smiled at your response, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to your neck, trailing down and kissing your collarbone, and then your sternum.

"Good...that's good." And then, he looked up at you, his fingers starting to gently roll your nipples between them. It was so gentle, but it felt so good. You let out a small whine at the touch, Chan just smiling at how responsive you were. "You are just so...you're so beautiful, hun. Absolutely breathtaking."

And then, he placed a few kisses onto your breasts, making you flush. You couldn't help but feel shy, but you also felt incredible. The amount of body worship he was doing made you feel a lot better about yourself. That was for damn sure. And when he came back up, he placed a firm kiss to your lips, looking at you in the eyes with the sweetest look in his own.

"I love you so much, baby." He spoke gently, like if he talked too loud, he'd break you into a million pieces. It made you smile.

"I love you too, Channie." You then placed your own kiss onto his lips, feeling his hand on your thigh.

"I wanna go further." He still spoke softly, bringing his hand up towards your waist, hooking it onto the waistband of your shorts. It made you tense up a bit. "We don't have to if you're not ready. But fuck, I want you so bad."

"I-I..." You let out a sigh, Chan immediately stopping, taking in your tense stature.

"Hey, we don't have to. Okay? It's totally up to you on what we do right now." Chan didn't want to pressure you. That was the last thing he wanted. And knowing that made you feel just a little bit better.

"I...I'm not ready yet...I'm sorry-"

"No, don't apologize. It's okay, okay?" Chan smiled, placing a kiss to your forehead. You just let out a sigh, looking down. You felt bad, not being able to give Chan the one thing he probably really wanted. But then, you noticed the tent in his sweatpants.

"Chan, y-you're..." You trailed off, eyeing the bulge before looking back up at him with sad eyes.

"Hey, it's okay. I can take care of it later. Don't worry about it." Chan told you, putting a hand onto your cheek. You took a breath, leaning into his touch, glancing back down at his sweats. "Seriously, it's fine."

"It's not fine." You immediately countered him, giving him a determined look. "How long have I been cockblocking you? It's not okay, a-and it's not fair."

"Y/n-"

"Chan." Upon hearing his name, Chan stopped talking, seeing your determined face. God, he loved when you always looked so determined, whether it be because you wanted him to take breaks, or if you were trying to beat some video game against whoever you were playing. "I...I wanna help you."

"Y/n..." Chan trailed, not sure if you really wanted to or if you were just saying that because you felt bad. "You don't have to if you don't want to, I mean, it doesn't take long for me to jerk one out. It takes me like 4 minutes tops-"

"Chan, just...please?" You gave him a soft look, crawling a little closer to him. "If I didn't want to, I wouldn't offer."

"Fuck..." Chan knew that was the case, too. If you didn't want to do something, you wouldn't speak up about it or bring it up. And seeing that pleading look in your eyes made it easy for Chan to make his mind up. "Okay. Yeah, i-if you want to, I'm okay with it."

Hearing him say that made you smile. You placed a peck to his cheek, before backing away to focus on his visible erection. You spared him one last glance, seeing his eyes on you with anticipation. And then, you brought your hands to his waistband, pulling it back just enough for his cock to spring out. Chan hissed upon feeling the cool air hit it.

Your eyes widened upon seeing him for the first time. He was so...it was beautiful. And big. You wanted to say 7 inches, and it was fat. Veins ran up and down his shaft, and it oh, so slightly curved up. His tip was red and leaking, too. You just couldn't take your eyes off of him.

"Everything okay?" Chan's words got you to look up at him. He looked so eager, but nervous. You didn't know exactly why, but...you guessed it was because you weren't doing anything.

"Yeah, you're just..." You glanced back down at his cock, watching it twitch slightly. "It's a sight."

Chan laughed slightly at your words, which made you giggle. It was good to know he wasn't as nervous as he looked.

"So um...how do I do this?" You looked back up at him, curious on how he liked it. You knew that you had to move your hand up and down around him, but you didn't know the specifics.

Thankfully, Chan was happy to guide you.

"Here, put your hand around it like...oh, like that..." Chan took your hand, putting it around his base, not having you move quite yet. He needed a second himself, if he was being honest. Just seeing your hand around him...your smaller, softer, daintier hand around his cock was just...oh, he could cum if he thought about it enough. "And grip firmly, not like, death grip, but--holy..."

"Like this?" You tightened your grip just enough to where Chan wouldn't slip out of your grasp. Not too loose, not too tight.

"Fuck, just like that..." Chan let out a groan, sinking back into the couch a bit as you held his cock, before getting to the next step. "Okay, and just move your hand at a nice pace...fuck, baby, just like that...squeeze towards the tip, and...hoooh my god..."

You followed his instructions, keeping that grip as you moved your hand up and down, tightening your grip slightly as you got towards his tip. And obviously, Chan was enjoying it, breathy moans leaving him as you jerked him off.

"Feel good?" You asked, just wanting to make sure you were doing good. Chan nodded, running a hand through his hair.

"Yes, it's so good, hun...ungh, can you spit on it? Make it nice and wet for me?"

Of course you could. And so, you leaned over his dick, gathering spit into your mouth before opening and sticking out your tongue, letting the saliva fall onto his tip. And that sight alone brought Chan even closer than he intended.

"That's it, baby girl...go a bit faster...yes, perfect, you're doing such a good job..." Chan's brow furrowed, his hips bucking to meet your hand, more moans leaving him as you continued to follow his instructions. They were still breathy, but getting higher. "Oh, fuck, I-I'm gonna cum, keep...keep going, please, baby...ugh, yes...!"

And like that, Chan let out a nice and long moan as he came, white ropes flying out and landing on your hand. You continued to move, slowing your pace bit by bit, helping him ride out his orgasm. You figured that was what you were supposed to do, at least, from the porn you've watched. And once he calmed down, you stopped, carefully taking your hand off of him.

"Feeling better, Channie?" You asked, giggling when he groaned, giving you a fucked-out expression as you stood up.

"Are you sure you've never done this before?" Chan laughed a bit as he watched you go to the kitchen, cleaning your hand off before getting a rag for Chan. You couldn't help but laugh as well, coming back to him to help him clean up.

"Positive." You kissed his cheek before starting to wipe him down, Chan just groaning.

"First you give me an insane handjob, and now you're giving me aftercare?" Chan said, watching you tuck his now soft cock back into his pants before setting the rag on the table. You nodded, Chan just smiling and bringing you down for a kiss. "Fuck, I don't deserve you."

"I should be the one telling you that." You replied, grabbing his sweatshirt that you originally had on, sliding it back over your body. Chan just pulled you to him, letting you rest on his chest.

"I can't wait for when you let me give you the best first time ever." Chan told you, kissing your forehead. You smiled, melting into him as you both went back to watching your movie.

"Me too."

It had been a few weeks since the last exchange between you and Chan. It was really hard to get the image of his face melting in pleasure out of your head. The way he looked when your hand was wrapped around him was so ethereal, and it made you wonder what he'd look like when he was finally inside of you.

Just thinking about it made you want to do it even more. You felt ready enough, and after getting to experience the small amount you did with him before made you realize that as long as it was with him, you'd be okay. But...there was a tiny problem.

Chan had gotten extremely busy.

You two never really had time to hang out these days, all because Chan was busy with releasing a new album with Stray Kids. They had filming, photoshoots, practices, recording sessions, and before they knew it, they were on stages, performing for Mnet. It was almost like they didn't have time to breathe, and you felt bad for all of them.

But you really just missed your boyfriend.

You found ways to distract yourself, though. One of which being going to the gym and getting a good workout in. That was what you were about to do currently. You were in a sports bra and sweatpants, keys in hand as you texted your friend, letting her know that you were about to head over, only to see that she had bailed on you for a date. Rude.

You just let out a small sigh, setting your things down on your counter, before seeing that you were getting a call from Chan. You smiled, excited to hear his voice after not hearing it for a while. And so, you picked up, not even having a chance to greet him.

"WE WON!" You just laughed, hopping up on the countertop as you heard you excited boyfriend on the other end of the line.

"Hello to you, too."

"What, no congratulations? You're killing me over here, you know..."

"Ah, sorry, sorry. Congratulations, Chan."

"Thank you. But can you believe it? We won! I was seriously nervous, but we still managed to come up on top."

"You always do, baby."

"I know! And guess what?"

"What?"

"I'm gonna have time to see you! I'm heading over now, actually."

"Now?"

"Yeah, I'm about...2 minutes? Yeah, 2 minutes out. We just got here, so I'm walking to your building right now."

"Ah. Well, I'll leave my door unlocked then."

"Perfect! I'm expecting a hug from you when I get inside."

"Alright, I suppose I can spare you one."

"Great! Then I'll see you in a bit." And with that, he hung up. You wanted to change into something a little more decent, but you knew you wouldn't have time. But you also felt excitement shoot through you, knowing that Chan would like to see you in this.

Speaking of...it didn't take your boyfriend long to come right through the door, smiling brightly as he spotted you on the counter, not realizing what you were wearing quite yet.

"Hey!" He quickly took off his shoes, leaving them by the door before taking his coat off, hanging it up.

"Hey." You replied, smiling just as brightly as Chan was. You couldn't lie; you really missed him. And it was good to see him again after so long. You watched as he finished putting up his coat, turning to face you. And that's when he noticed what you were in. His eyes widened, a sharp inhale coming from him as he walked over to you slowly, taking it all in.

"And... what are you wearing?" Chan's eyes couldn't leave your body. God, it looked so perfect, and he really wanted it off of you. He walked between your legs, placing his hands onto your bare sides, gently rubbing up and down as he gave you a playful smirk. "This isn't for me, is it?"

"Well, I was supposed to go to the gym, but got bailed on." You rolled your eyes as you spoke, putting your arms around his neck as you looked back to him.

"And you didn't change?"

"I didn't have time to, baby. You were practically already here once we got off the phone."

"So then...this is for me." Chan smirked, tilting his head to place kisses onto your neck.

"I didn't say that." You replied, tilting your own head to give Chan more space.

"You implied it."

"I definitely didn't do that."

"Well, you could've changed while we were on the phone." He had a point there. You've done it before, plenty of times. But you didn't this time. "Is this a sign? Are you finally gonna let me rock your world tonight?"

"Mm..." You weren't actually sure if you were all for that. And upon noticing your hesitation, Chan pulled away, looking to you.

"Hey, remember what I said. If you don't want to, we don't have to." Chan then placed a kiss to your nose, putting his forehead on yours after. "You're ready when you're ready. Not when I'm ready."

You nodded at his words, knowing he wouldn't ever push you to do something if you didn't want it. You just weren't sure. And so, you let out a breath.

"I... don't know." You looked away for a second, before looking back to his eyes. "I want to, but I'm still nervous, you know?"

"Yep. And that's totally understandable." Chan placed a kiss to your lips, giving you a smile. "Tell you what. I am hard. You never fail to make me hard. If you wanna jerk me off again, then let's start there, and see where it plays out, yeah?"

You took a second, thinking about what Chan offered. Now that you thought about it, you had been wanting to try something for a while, since you had given him that handjob. And since the opportunity opened itself up, you decided to take it.

"Yeah, okay." You gave him a smile, nodding. Chan smiled back, crashing his lips onto yours a second after. He picked you up, bringing you to your room before setting you down on the bed. You then, watched as he took his pants off, his hard cock springing out once more before he went and laid on the bed, lifting his sweatshirt up a bit.

"Alright, baby. You know what to do." You did. And so, you went to him, wrapping your hand around his base, slowly starting to pump it. Chan let out a sigh, already feeling pleasure course through his body. You repeated what you had done the last time, keeping your grip tight, squeezing towards the tip and loosening as you moved back down.

"Fuck, just like that...you're a natural at this, baby girl..." Chan hissed, letting out a breathy moan as you continued. But then, upon seeing him enjoying this, you smiled, only to lean your head down to his cock. Chan watched with wide eyes, seeing you get close to him. "Whoa, what--"

"I wanna try something. Is...is that okay?" You wanted to make sure Chan was okay with it, not wanting to do something he wasn't comfortable with.

"I-I mean, yeah, sure...just...just don't push yourself o-or anything." You nodded at his words, letting out a breath. And then, you stilled your hand, before opening your mouth and placed his tip inside. You glanced up at him, hoping that this was okay.

The face you saw told you everything you needed to know.

His jaw was open, his brows furrowed as a silent moan left him. And once you brought your tongue in to swipe against his tip, going over his slit, an actual moan left him. His hand immediately went to your hair, running through some of it before gripping your head. And then, you started to carefully bob your head, not wanting to graze his cock with your teeth.

"Holy fucking shit, baby...your mouth feels so good..." Chan could hardly believe it. He hadn't ever felt anything this good or wet. He was sure that your pussy would be even better, but your mouth was just as amazing. "Oh my god...I'm not...I'm not gonna last, I'm already so close..."

You just took that as an incentive to go faster.

Chan just held onto your head for dear life as you did your best to move your head, using a hand to pump whatever wasn't in your mouth. And to Chan, it just added to everything he was feeling. Your hand, your mouth, your tongue, it was perfect. So perfect, he couldn't stop himself from cumming.

"F-Fuck! I'm cumming!" You could feel him doing that.

You just kept your mouth around him, letting him shoot his seed into your mouth as you slowly pumped his length, waiting until he finished. And once he had finished, you slowly pulled him out of your mouth, swallowing his semen. That got an audible moan from your boyfriend. You looked back to him, a shy smile on your face as he looked at you in awe, gulping himself.

"Was...was that okay? I didn't graze you with my teeth or anything, right--"

"Shut up." And like that, Chan immediately sat forward, capturing your lips with his. You were a bit taken aback, but you kissed him anyway, hearing him moan at the taste of his own cum. It didn't take him long to find one of your breasts, groping it as he pulled away, watching you moan a bit from the pleasure.

"Chan--"

"You are absolutely incredible. You know that, right?" Chan's eyes didn't leave yours as he lifted your sports bra up, revealing your perky nipple to him. He immediately leaned down, taking it into his mouth. You just let out a breathy moan, arching your back as you felt his tongue flick the hardened bud, watching Chan seperate from it with an audible pop. "Please, I'm begging you...I gotta taste you, baby. Let me return the favor. I wanna make you feel so good..."

You gulped, feeling yourself gush at his desperate pleads. He really wanted to do that? Did you want that? You did, but you felt nervous. Then again, you remembered to the first little exchange, and how loved Chan made you feel. Every ounce of nerves left your body because of this man.

And how could you possibly deny that?

"I...okay..." You gave a nod to him, and the sound Chan made as a result was delicious. You watched as he got up, grabbing your sweatpants and took them off of you, leaving you in your panties. He tossed those sweats to who knows where, before grabbing your panties. Before he pulled them off of you, he gave you one last look.

"Are you sure you wanna do this? We really don't have to if you don't want to." You swore you were going to get a cavity from how sweet this man was being to you.

"Chris." He gulped at your use of his English name. He knew you only used it when you were serious. "I'm sure. I trust you."

Chan smiled, quickly coming up to peck your lips, leaving another kiss on your forehead.

"I love you." He whispered. With that, he went back to where he was, slowly pulling your panties down and off of your body. Immediately, his eyes went wide.

Your cunt was so fucking beautiful in his eyes. It was sopping wet, it was pink, it was everything Chan could've ever hoped for. And the way you clenched around nothing...oh, it had him reeling.

"Holy shit, baby...your pussy is so pretty..." Chan adjusted himself, wrapping his arms around your thighs as he brought his head close, placing a kiss around your cunt. It made you whine. "And you're so wet...did sucking me off turn you on, baby girl?"

"Y-Yes..." You didn't know why, but you felt obligated to answer him. You couldn't help it. Chan just smiled, placing a kiss onto your clit, making you whine once more.

"Aw, you're so cute like this...I'll make you feel so good, okay? I'll make you feel so good..." And with that, he licked one long strip up your pussy, making you gasp and squirm, your back arching off of the bed. Chan hummed at your reaction, before diving in.

It was very safe to say that Chan knew what he was doing.

The way that he licked through your slit, only to clamp his mouth around your clit and suck, all while flicking his tongue against your sensitive bud made you moan out in ways you never thought were possible. He'd make slurping noises as he tried to suck up all of your juices, only to go back in for more. And eventually, he dove his tongue into your hole. That rewarded him with a dirty moan from you.

As he fucked your hole with his tongue, his nose bumped your clit, the man literally rubbing his face against your cunt, which felt so good. You couldn't help but grind your hips against his face, your hands flying down and gripping his hair as he continued to please you in ways you never thought were possible.

"C-Chan! Oh my--it's so good, your tongue is so good...!" You couldn't take much more. You knew yourself, and you could feel your body reacting. Chan could, too. It really didn't help that you were unexperienced, and that meant that you didn't have much stamina. "I...fuck, Chan, I'm close, please..."

Chan hummed, only increasing the speed of his movements. His hand gripped at your thigh, doing his best to keep them open as he brought you right up to your orgasm, which shot straight through you.

You squealed, your body jolting at the feeling of your orgasm hitting you hard. Your back arched, your thighs immediately clamped around Chan's head, and your hips bucked up. Chan held you steady, helping you through your orgasm until you finally calmed down, releasing your thighs from Chan's head.

"Shit..." You really didn't have anything else to say besides that. You were out of breath, panting like you had just run the high school mile. You heard Chan's laugh, wiping his face off with the bottom of his hoodie before moving up to you, kissing your cheek a few times.

"You did so good, hun, really. And you tasted amazing, too." You just let out your own breathy laugh at Chan's comment, tired after that orgasm.

"Where...where did you learn how to do that?" You looked to him as he hovered above you. Chan just smiled, brushing some of your hair out of your face.

"That, my beautiful girl, is a secret."

"Chan!"

"Y/n!"

"You're no fun..."

"Sure I am, you were enjoying yourself a minute ago--"

"Christopher Bahng!"

"Sorry, sorry!" Chan could only laugh at the pout you had on your face. After he placed a kiss to your forehead, he placed his own forehead there, rubbing his nose against yours. "I love you, baby."

"I love you, too." You smiled at his gesture. You really had the sweetest boyfriend. But his brand new hard on definitely didn't go unnoticed. You could feel it on your cunt, just sitting there. "Are you hard again?"

"Hey, you know I can't control it." Chan told you, giving a shy smile. You just smiled back, thinking to yourself for a second. It was already so close to you...it was so close to being inside of you.

"Well...you wanna pop my cherry then?"

"Wait, are you serious?" Chan's eyes widened at your comment, not expecting that from you. When you nodded, Chan immediately flushed, getting a little bit nervous. "Like, actually? You want me to take you right now?"

"Yeah." You gave him a nod, taking a second to breathe before continuing. "It's kind of what I said earlier. I trust you, a lot. And I know you'll be gentle, so..."

Chan immediately responded with placing his lips on yours, letting out a hum as he held you close to him. He was so happy, you made him so happy. And all of his patience, all of this waiting...

It finally paid off.

"Wait right here, I gotta go grab a condom-"

"It's fine, I'm on the pill."

"Are you actually for real right now?"

"Yeah?" Chan moaned at your response, wanting to just cum on the spot. Not only was he going to be your first. But he was going to be your first, and he wouldn't have to wear a dumb rubber on his dick while doing it.

He just wanted to worship you.

"Fuck, baby, you're gonna kill me one of these days...legs up for me." Chan watched you as you lifted your legs up, and he adjusted them so they rested on his shoulders.

Then, it was up to you to watch him closely, watching as he focused on getting himself lined up. You could feel his cockhead rubbing up and down against your pussy, trying to get himself just a bit more wet. The feeling made you shudder. Finally, he was ready, and his tip was prodding at your entrance. Before he entered you, he looked into your eyes, gulping.

"If it hurts, tell me and I'll stop immediately. Okay?" You nodded at Chan's words, watching him take a deep breath. And then, he was pushing into you.

Both of you moaned when his tip slipped inside of you. Chan moved so slowly, sinking deeper and deeper, almost like he was wading into water. You were so tight. You were tight, and warm, and wet, and soft, and it was perfect. He was honestly surprised he didn't bust right away.

As for you, you were surprised that it didn't hurt as much as you thought. Sure, it stung a bit, but that was probably because of how girthy Chan's dick was. If you were gonna be honest, it was more...uncomfortable? No...it was more unfamiliar than uncomfortable. It was new to you, and it was new to your body. It made your face scrunch, which didn't go unnoticed by Chan. He immediately stopped, looking into your eyes.

"You okay? Does it hurt?"

"No, I'm fine, it's just...weird, I guess." You squirmed a bit, trying to figure out what you thought.

"Good weird or bad weird?"

"Good, I think."

"So I can keep going?"

"Yeah." Chan nodded at your response, continuing to push in. The deeper he got, the more pleasurable it got. And before you knew it, he was sheathed inside of you, waiting for your signal to move.

"Feel okay?" Chan looked at you in the eyes, watching you nod. Your face was finally starting to show pleasure to him, which made Chan relax. And after you moved to try and adjust yourself a bit to get more comfortable, pleasure shot through you, and you moaned.

"Fuck..." Your brows furrowed as your jaw dropped, your eyes going to Chan's. "You...you can move."

"Okay...okay..." Chan then did as you said, starting to give you slow thrusts. Both of you moaned out, your head falling back as Chan's fell forward. You both basked in each other, enjoying how good you both felt because of the other.

"Chan..." You whined, reaching up for him. Chan moved down, letting you wrap your arms around his neck. He moaned into your ear, keeping his hips moving, his pace getting slightly faster with each thrust.

"You're doing so good, baby...fuck, you're squeezing me so well..." As Chan praised you, he moved down and kissed your neck, leaving marks as he moved faster.

There was one thrust where his dick rubbed right up against your soft spot. Upon feeling it, you let out a filthy moan, one you didn't even know you were capable of making, and you clenched around Chan, which made him moan out as well. You were already tight, and now that you were clenching? Chan was certain he just saw God.

"Baby, you can't...fuck, I'm gonna cum already...you're driving me up a wall here, you feel too good..." Chan moved faster, bringing a hand down to your waist, holding onto you as he snapped his hips up into yours, making you moan out and grab onto him, clinging for dear life.

"I-I'm close, I'm gonna cum!" You held onto Chan tighter, your boyfriend just leaning down and kissing your lips, grunts leaving him as he got closer. And before you knew it, you hit your orgasm, your thighs trying to close once more as your body trembled, a loud and very pornographic moan leaving you.

You were almost certain you heard Chan growl in response to that.

"Fuck!" Chan immediately pulled out, hitting his own orgasm as he jerked himself off, shooting his white ropes onto your stomach. Once Chan had calmed down a bit, he fell forward onto an arm, one hand still on his dick, just holding it as he breathed heavily into your ear. You were also breathing heavily, your arms relaxing around him.

"Oh...my god..." You trailed, Chan swallowing his spit as he slowly sat up, running a hand through his hair.

"So... how was that for your first time?" Chan asked, smiling down at you. You just mumbled nonsense, Chan only laughing before standing up, leaving you for a few minutes. While he was gone doing...whatever he was doing, you had time to just try and calm your body down.

Eventually, Chan came back, placing a few kisses onto your cheek and forehead before picking you up and bringing you to the bathroom, setting you into the water before taking off your sports bra. He then took off his sweatshirt before getting in behind you, laying you back against his chest.

"You okay?" Chan asked, holding you close to him as you nodded. Chan just smiled, placing a few more kisses onto your head before starting to use a rag and clean you off, making sure you were clean from your first time. "Did you enjoy yourself?"

"Yeah. It was magical." You smiled up at him, Chan smiling back and placing another kiss to your lips, continuing to wash you off. "I'm really happy you were my first time, Chan."

"I'm happy I could be your first time." Chan told you, setting the rag aside before rubbing your shoulders.

"So is this aftercare a first time thing, or can I expect to get this treatment every time?" You asked, Chan just laughing at you.

"You know I'll spoil you any chance I get, baby." Chan told you, kissing your head.

Eventually, he got out of the water, drying himself off before slipping on a pair of sweatpants he had left at your apartment, turning to you and helping you out of the tub. He dried you off as well, and just slipped one of his hoodies onto you. And then, he took you to the bed, laying you down before getting in next to you, pulling you into his chest.

"I know I've said this a lot tonight, but I really do love you, baby girl. You're the best thing that's happened to me." Chan told you, seeing you smile in his arms.

"After Stray Kids, right?"

"After that? No way in hell. They're a close second though."

"Ah. I'm telling them that."

"What--Baby, don't do that!"

"I'm totally telling Minho first, he'll air fry you, or maybe stuff your face with tissues, or-"

"Y/N!"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." You just giggled, placing a kiss onto his lips before snuggling into his arms.

"I love you, too."

100 notes · View notes

romancefranaticstay · 2 days

Text

⋆.ೃ࿔:･Ship on sea ⋆.ೃ࿔:･ 2

Captain! Hyunjin x siren!fem!reader

Category: angst, fluff

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

You swam away from the ship, feeling the drops of his tears on your body. You dived to your hiding place, where you always sat. You felt something strange in your body, something strange. Something you had never felt. After a few days you still felt a strange feeling in your stomach, this time it was a little painful.

After a few weeks your belly started to get bigger and at that moment you knew it. You carried the child of your loved one, the child made by melted love. You still remembered the day you swam away from your captain. You missed him, ohh you missed him so much. You still had his necklace glistening in the moonlight.

Your child was born and accepted into the group of the Sirens. Your father always wondered who the person was, your other half. You wanted to tell him, you wanted to tell him about the most beautiful creature on earth, but you couldn't. You couldn't roll his name off your tongue. Your baby was a boy, immediately after he was born you saw Hyunjin in his eyes. It was difficult without giving birth to him, not being able to hold his hand.

Now the boy is four years old. You love your son so much, so much. It's your little Hyunjin. You sat in the cave while your sisters played with your son. He was already a good swimmer for his age. You were resting with your eyes closed, thinking about anything and everything. Suddenly you felt a kind of hyperactive happiness. Your heart was pounding, you were suddenly wide awake. You didn't know what it was. You ignored it.

“Y/N.”

said your sister Lalisa.

'What is it now?'

"Why don't you ever talk about his father?"

"Like I said, he's unknown."

"Don't you even know who he is?"

"No, only I know who he is."

'Why can't we know?'

'Just, I prefer to keep him in my heart.'

'Okay romantic, just keep him in your heart.'

You went to Lalisa, who was rocking your son. You picked him up again.

"Ohh you little treasure."

"Little Wade."

'What? Wade? That's not his name.'

"You never gave him a name."

'Yes, I have.'

"Why don't you tell me?"

“I've said it a thousand times, his name is Hyunjin.”

“Why Hyunjin? That's not even a Siren name.'

"Because I think it's a beautiful name, and because I'm his mother."

'Maternal behavior.'

'Teenage behavior.'

"Let me be a teenager."

"Yes, so let me be a mother."

"I'm going to be a mother one day too."

"You definitely will."

"And I want to marry a beautiful man."

'Just beautiful?'

"No, that's funny too."

"And grown up."

'That too.'

Hyunjin was tossing and turning in his bed. He dreamed about you again, he dreamed that you had a child. A little child who looked exactly like him. You were in a cave, with him in your arms. You were talking to someone. He was looking at you, he tried to move towards you but he couldn't. You suddenly turned your head. Suddenly he was pulled back and he woke up again. His heart broke again and again when he dreamed about your glowing skin. Your lips that he wanted to bite. Your hands that he wanted to feel.

Tears began to sting his eyes, but he was not allowed to show them. He was not allowed to show his weak side. He looked through his binoculars, no land in sight.

'Row on!'

he was strict. Stricter than before. Since you were gone he had changed, but deep down he was the same. His crewmates were a bit scared of him, except for Jeongin. Jeongin was his son. Not really his son, but he treats him like a son. He had found him on an island, dehydrated and about to die. He took care of him and now he has become a handsome man. He was 14 when he found it. Now he is 19. You could say he has changed a lot.

"We're still 10km from land, Hyunjin." Jeongin said.

"Okay good, we're almost there." he ruffled his hair.

Hyunjin was pacing on the deck, it was night. He was standing near the same ledge you jumped off. He leaned and looked into the water. If you knew how much he missed you, your heart would shrink. Jeongin joined him.

'The water is beautiful.'

"I know, sometimes too beautiful."

They both looked at the waves.

“You go get some sleep Jeonginnie.”

"Okay dad." Jeongin hopped inside to the warmth.

After a while, Hyunjin went back inside. He entered his room and looked at his bed. So many memories, the good times, the magical moments. He locked his door and lay down on his bed. The room was quite dark. He kept thinking about you, he thought about that one night. He felt blood pumping in his cock. It turned him on. His right hand wrapped around his length. He started jerking quickly. He thought about your body, your sweaty body. He started getting faster and faster. Until he groaned. Your name slipped from his lips. He panted.

Little Hyunjin was still sleeping. You admired him from a distance. A little angel, you just wanted to hug him. He is so small and so innocent. You saw him yawn and open his beady little eyes.

“Hello treasury.”

'Ello mommy.'

His small hands clung to you. Your father had collected some food for his grandson.

'Very good food, mhmmmm.'

you said, encouraging little Hyunjin to eat it all. He smacked his little mouth.

'Yummy.'

'Very yummy, and also very healthy.'

'Yeh, vey healy.'

'No no no, not healthy, but healthy. Heal-th-y.”

'Healty.'

'Close enough.' you stroked his hair.

______________________________________________________________

You swam with your son.

"Mommy."

'Yes treasury?'

'What is tha?'

he pointed his little finger towards the land. You looked at the land.

'You want to go there?'

'Yes, yes.'

It was uninhabited you saw, so it was safe for little Hyunjin. He also needed to develop his leg strength, so it was good to go ashore. Once you felt the land, your legs started working again. Hyunjinie immediately fell gently into the sand. You smiled seeing him like this. You grabbed his little hands and lifted him up so that he was now standing on his feet. You slowly started to step back so he could step along.

'You can do it.'

His steps were small and somewhat sloppy. He fell into the sand. You saw little tears growing in his eyes.

"Ohh, treasury, don't cry."

you lifted him up and started rocking him.

"Ohh little darling of mine."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Land in sight!' Jeongin shouted.

"We're here dad."

"Okay, throw the anchor."

The anchor was thrown. Ten men remained on board, while five men began searching the island. The island was not dangerous, it was very small. Jeongin was sitting in the sand, lying on the ground.

"You stay here, I'll go explore some more."

Hyunjin started walking around the shoreline. You sat with Hyunijnie on the other side of the island. From a distance, Hyunjin saw two people. A child and a woman who seemed very familiar for a reason. He pulled out his sword just to be sure. Little Hyunjin started taking small steps towards you as you sat in the sand.

"Yes, almost, two more small steps."

He took two quick steps and fell into your arms.

"Yes, well done, you are such a smart little boy."

You were snuggling with him. Hyunjin recognized your voice. For a second he thought he was hallucinating. He dropped his sword and came closer. You felt something approaching you, you felt your heart pounding faster. You held little Hyunjin tightly. You stood up and took out your sharp teeth. You saw him, you looked into his eyes. You saw your captain standing there, your Hyunjin. You wanted to run to him, but you had a baby in your arms. Hyunjin stepped towards you until he was standing in front of you. His fingers caressed your cheek.

'Are you real?'

'I'm real.'

Tears stung both of your eyes.

"My son... I dreamed about him."

"He's real."

Hyunjinnie's eyes widened, he reached his hands out to his dad. Hyunjin picked him up, tightly in his protective arms. Tears fell into his little hair.

You hugged Hyunjin gently. Your son between you. His lips found yours. The two of you held your son. Jeongin came from a distance. He saw Hyunjin kissing a woman. Jeongin recognized you as 'the woman' he sometimes talked about. Hyunjin had described you perfectly. Your eyes opened again and you saw Jeongin standing there. You removed your lips from Hyunjin's lips.

'Who is that?' you pointed at him.

“That's my son, Jeongin.”

"You, your son... and the mother...?"

"I don't know who his mother is."

You immediately understood what was going on.

"Oww, I see."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hyunjin brought you back to the ship. The crew members stared at you, still remembering you. Hyunjin made a small bed for your son. Every day you were told how much he looked like his father. You and Jeongin also grew close. He saw you as his mother and you saw him as your son. You heard Hyunjinnie giggle. Jeongin was playing with him again.

“Careful Jeonginie.”

'Yes mom.' Y

ou were watching from a distance. On a rocking chair. Your hand on your stomach. You were pregnant again, you were three months pregnant. You couldn't really deduce what the gender was yet. It wasn't until you were 5 months old that you as Siren could sense it. Hyunjin came to you and kissed you on the cheek.

'Hello Darling.'

'Hello captain.' He placed his hand on your stomach.

'A little boy or girl.'

'Yes, strange, isn't it?'

'It is.' Your heart melted when you saw Jeongin playing with Hyunjinie. The fact that anyone could leave Jeongin behind is a mystery.

“I will never let you go again Y/N.”

"I'll never go again."

"I'll never let you go again."

You turned your face to him and kissed him softly. Jeongin covered Hyunjinnie's eyes.

“Ewww.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE END

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

@newtsbloodygf @trixiekaulitz @bbhyunjinie @wolfyychan

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lovestay-channie · 3 days

Text

Belated Birthday- Hyunjin Imagine

Pairing: Hyunjin x gn!reader

Genre: fluff fluff fluff

Summary: it's been a month since hyunjin's birthday, and you decide to surprise him <3

Word Count: 830+

Warning: n/a

A/N: a late birthday post for hyunjin! i'm sorry i haven't been writing as much as i used to. i hope you enjoy this belated birthday post!

Long distance relationships are never easy, especially when someone is an idol. You are very grateful for technology so you can FaceTime Hyunjin on his secret iPhone he still has. It was Hyunjin’s birthday last month, but Hyunjin’s schedule didn’t allow you two to see each other. You tried to coordinate celebrating during his holiday break, but you had multiple work trips that didn’t allow you to be together. Therefore, you decided to surprise him.

Schedules finally cleared up for you, and you wanted to do something for Hyunjin not only for his birthday but for all the hard work he has been doing. You texted Hyunjin before his schedules started, telling him to come to your apartment when he is done at 8PM. You baked him a small, simple cake, blew up pink and white balloons, put on a birthday hat, and had a popper in your hands. Your present was waiting for him on the table next to the cake. Nerves started to build in your stomach as time was reaching closer to when he is supposed to arrive. The little surprise had to be perfect. Time hasn’t been kind to you both, and you wanted this to be special for him.

Ding dong.

The doorbell rang. He is here. You take a deep breath before you shout, “Come in Hyunnie!” Right as Hyunjin walks through the door, you pop the popper in your hand. “Surprise!!”

Hyunjin’s face brightened at the setup you have for him. His cheeks turn pink as he sees you with your cute birthday hat that was definitely made for a child’s head. “Baaaabe! What are you doing?” he says, walking to you with open arms.

You wrap your arms around his middle. “I wanted to celebrate your birthday properly.”

“We already celebrated my birthday though,” he says, kissing your cheek.

“Yeah through a video call!” you pout.

“Being with you is all that matters, near or far,” he smiles. You roll your eyes and tuck your face into his chest. He giggles and squeezes you tighter, leaving a kiss on your forehead. He turns his head to the kitchen table. “Is that a cake?”

You pull away from his arms, “Yes it is! You want a piece?”

He nods his head frantically and skips to the kitchen. You follow behind him and grab a knife. You slice the cake to place them on paper plates. Hyunjin pulls out a chair to sit down. He takes a bite of the cake, making his cute “Hmm” noise as he eats. “This is yummy!”

“I’m glad!” you say, taking a bite of your cake.

Hyunjin’s eyes scan over to the pink wrapping paper next to him. He picks it up and glances at you with a questioning look. “Is this for me?” he asks.

“We aren’t celebrating my birthday,” you tease.

He chuckles at your sarcasm before pushing his cake to the side to have his present in front of him. He picks up the card that was taped to the top of the box that hid new paint supplies you got from Paris. He carefully opens the envelope to see a homemade card. It was simple, white with little flower doodles surrounding the handwritten words ‘Happy Birthday Hyunnie’.

“I wrote this before your birthday. I wanted to send it to you so it would arrive on your birthday, but I was too late to the post office. So, here it is now!” you explain.

He smiles fondly at the card before reading.

My Dearest Hyunjin,

As the sun rises on this enchanting day, I am filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the gift of your presence in my life. Today, as we celebrate the anniversary of your birth, I am reminded of the countless reasons why you are not just my partner but also my soulmate and my greatest treasure.

Your birthday is a beautiful reminder of the light you bring into the world, illuminating even the darkest corners with your infectious laughter, boundless compassion, and unwavering love. With each passing year, you become more extraordinary, more inspiring, and more deserving of all the happiness and love this world has to offer. I am forever inspired by you.

On this special day, I want to express my deepest admiration for the incredible person you are and my unending devotion to the journey we share together. May this day be filled with laughter, joy, and unforgettable moments, and may the year ahead be brimming with blessings, adventures, and endless love. Happy birthday, my love. Here's to celebrating you today and every day, now and forever.

With all my heart,

Y/N

Tears form on Hyunjin’s waterline. His chin quivers as he reaches the end of the letter. He puts the letter back in the envelope and pulls you into a tight hug. “That was the most beautiful thing I have ever read,” he says, pulling away to cradle your face. “I love you so much, Y/N. For eternity, I will love you.” He pulls your face to give you a longing, gentle kiss.

You pull away slowly, “I love you for eternity, too. Happy belated birthday Hyunnie.”

#lovestaychannie #stray kids #skz imagines #skz fanfic #stray kids fluff #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #hyunjin imagine #hyunjin x reader #stray kids imagine

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astraystayyh · 2 months

Text

pieces of you

single dad!chan. x fem!reader

genre : neighbors!au. fluff. angst. slow burn. mutual pining. 8.7k wc

summary : In which you and chan are each other's missing pieces. Alternatively, Chris and his daughter come knocking at your apartment asking for flour, and he's no longer embarrassed when you open the door.

a.n. : my chris best girl dad agenda is going strong!!!!!! my second fic for the winter falls collab with my writer xi hehe i hope you will all enjoy reading!! feedback is highly appreciated 🤍 the song chris will write for sowon is light by sleeping at last, highly recommend listening to it!!

winter falls masterlist.

“I can’t believe you’re making me do this.”

“Shh, daddy smile.”

Soft murmurs linger just beyond your door, elusive words that could easily be dismissed as figments of your imagination. However, any doubt in your mind dissipates with three resounding knocks, jolting you from your momentary contemplation.

A reluctant groan escapes you as you glance down at your attire—a loosely hanging oversized hoodie, a testament to the numerous times it has been tugged down, and a pair of pajama pants whose matching top has mysteriously vanished. Clearly, you don't feel presentable enough to welcome anyone at this late hour. So, you remain motionless, futilely lowering the TV volume in hopes that whoever's behind the door will just continue with their night. But the knocks persist against your wish, so, with a resigned sigh, you rise from your seat, your blanket cascading to the ground in a soft descent.

“What–” the words dissolve in your mouth like a sweet nectar as you open the door, your eyes beholding no one in your periphery. A slight tug at your pants draws your attention downward, only to find the most adorable child your eyes have ever laid on. She's clad in Rapunzel-themed pajamas, wolf slippers bumping into your plain ones, and, to your surprise, a whisk cradled in her small hand.

“Hey there,” your voice softens as you crouch to meet her warm gaze. You find an innocent happiness gleaming in her eyes, a radiant spark shining even beneath the corridor's muted light. Two dimples adorn her cheeks as she smiles at you.

“Hi, my dad wants to tell you something,” she says, pointing with her whisk to the very end of the hallway. You crane your neck, trying to catch a glimpse of the elusive figure.

“Your dad?”

“Mm. He’s a bit shy, that’s why he’s hiding,” she confides in a whisper. But, despite her earnest attempt, her words still resound loudly in the vacant space, causing giggles to spill out of your mouth.

“And you aren’t shy?” you inquire, tilting your head.

“Nu-uh,” she shakes her head with conviction as someone emerges behind her. She instinctively wraps an arm around their leg, nestling her cheek against their thigh.

She isn't shy because she feels protected.

You rise from your place, eyes locking with a familiar shade of brown. Only these hold a mesmerizing quality to them making your very breath catch in your throat. Kindness pours from his gaze as it travels down your face, a sentiment that further materializes as delicate smile lines stitch around the corner of his eyes.

He’s beautiful.

Your eyes trail down to two pairs of dimples, mirroring the ones of his daughter perfectly. She is his living portrait, sharing his eyes, lips, and smile. Yet, his cheeks blush in a hue she does not possess, while his left hand fiddles with his earlobe, in an unspoken, timid gesture. For some odd reason, it pierces straight through your heart.

“Sorry for bothering you,” a smooth Australian accent rolls off his tongue, similar to rich butter spread on warm bread- it infuses your being with tingles pulsating from the base of your toes. You suddenly no longer miss your blanket.

“I'm your next-door neighbor. We were just making cookies and we realized we actually don’t have flour,” he explains, a bashful smile imprinted onto his lips.

“You didn’t check beforehand?” you ask, laughter tinting your voice.

“I forgot,” he admits, but his tone sounds almost sad as if beating himself over it. A fleeting shadow veils his face briefly, dissipating like a passing cloud grazing the sun.

“Can we borrow some from you? I told Sowon that we could go to the store but she said it’s too cold out,” he asks, his hand resting on his daughter’s shoulder soothingly.

“It is too cold out,” you agree with a frown, looking down at Sowon to which she smiles brightly, happy to have your support.

“And of course, I'll bring you flour. Don’t worry about it. Do you want to come in meanwhile?”

“It's okay, we'll wait here. Don’t want to intrude.”

“Thank you!” Sowon beams, her missing tooth in full display.

“Yeah, thank you so much…” he trails out, tilting his head as if to silently inquire about your name.

“Yn. And you?”

“Chris.”

“Nice to meet you, Chris,” you smile, shaking his extended hand. His fingers wrap around your palm, and it feels as if you’re grasping thunder, crackling with an electricity that your eyes can’t behold, yet your soul does, suddenly illuminated from within.

Your smile grows as you detach yourself from his hold, before bending forward to bop Sowon’s nose. “And nice to meet you too Rapunzel.”

Your words make her hide behind her father’s leg, peeking out slightly to look at you.

“See I'm not the only one who gets shy,” Chan chuckles, and Sowon whines in complaint, further burying her face in her dad’s grey sweatpants.

Adorable, so much it stirs a long-forgotten melancholy within your being.

“She gets a pass, she's still young, right Sowon?”

“Are you calling me old then?” Chan fakes outrage, bringing one hand to his chest while the other cradles Sowon’s back.

“Old enough to forget about flour,” you wink and he laughs, looking down at your slippers.

“Touché.”

A few minutes go by before you come back, a recipient full of flour in your hands. The sight before you makes you pause in your tracks– Chris, leaning against the wall, Sowon propped on his hip, her arms loosely hanging around his neck, her eyes closed.

“Did she…” you whisper and he turns to you.

“Yeah, fell asleep,” he smiles fondly, tucking a few strands of her hair behind the curve of her ear. “She’ll be disappointed when she wakes up to no cookies. She wanted us to have a baking holiday tradition.”

“You don’t know how to make them?”

“No, I was counting on a six-year-old to assist me,” he chuckles quietly, prompting a snort from you.

“Well, keep the flour, in case you need it again.”

“Thank you, Yn,” he grins, the smile taking over his entire face, grabbing the recipient from you.

“You’re welcome Chris,” you say, as you both linger around the door still, not making any attempt to move.

Your eyes refuse to peel away from his, as if there were a magnetic force drawing you to him, telling you that your gaze belonged to rest on him.

“Uhm,” he clears his throat, leaning away from the wall. “I'll get going.”

“Yeah, sleep well, Chris.”

“Thank you,” he smiles before turning around.

An idea brews in your head, a germ sprouted by the clear adoration in which Sowon gazed at her dad, and the disappointment in his face as he said he would no longer be making cookies. Had you wished to dig a little deeper, you would’ve also found a long-buried feeling of a little girl who would have loved holiday traditions as well. You close the door before heading straight to your kitchen.

One hour later

You knock softly on Chris’ door, fidgeting from one foot to another. You almost retract back to your apartment after your fourth knock, when the door finally opens, Chris coming into your line of sight.

“Hi,” you greet, hands behind your back.

“Hey,” he smiles, leaning his arm on the doorway, right above your head. He tilts his head to the side, silently wondering what you want. The words dissolve in your mouth at the way his eyes fixate on you as if trying to peer behind your irises onto your mind.

“Cookies,” you bring the plate before him, as his eyes grow wide, an incredulous smile drawn on his lips.

“You made them?”

“Yeah, didn't want Sowon to be disappointed,” you shrug and his eyes grow wild, racking all over your face in disbelief.

“You didn't have to do this,” he finally says, tone softening, syllables ringing like a sweet sonnet in your ears.

“I know. I wanted to. and I'm a baker so making cookies comes easily to me, don't worry about it,” you shrug sheepishly, biting your lower lip slightly. You felt scrutinized by him in ways you haven't felt before.

“Thank you, Yn, I don’t even know what to say,” he says, his smile resembling a beam of light. A surge of pride courses through you at managing to bring it forth.

“No need to say anything. I hope I didn't wake you up,” you smile sheepishly and he shakes his head.

“No, I- I was working in my studio and Sowon is asleep. It's just us two. Always has been,” he adds, tone slightly changing, air growing heavier between you both. It's just them two.

“Studio?” you inquire, hoping to dispel the tension latching around you both.

“I'm a music producer,” he clarifies. “I made a studio here so I could stay the night with Sowon.”

“I'm sure she appreciates that,” you say as you hand the plate to him. His fingertips brush against your own, and a slight electricity courses through you at the touch, the hallway suddenly brighter from the fireworks ricocheting off of you both.

“I…. I'll get going.”

“Yeah, yeah, don't want to take more of your time.”

“I'll see you around.”

“Yeah, I'll see you,” he says, words not ringing carelessly into the air, sounding more like a promise. He'll see you, he'll make sure of it.

ii.

“Can you wait!” a voice echoes near the building entrance, and you prevent the elevator doors from closing as hurried steps near you.

You recognize the voice easily by the light tingles running down your spine, the Australian accent shooting straight through your heart. Its owner materializes, Chris— leather jacket hugging his muscles snuggly, black t-shirt tucked into a pair of blue jeans, cap nestled on his head, rebellious strands of ebony hair peeking behind it.

You find the breath knocked out of you once again at his sight. He's beautiful, even more so in broad daylight, where every feature of his comes to life, beckoning, demanding your sole attention.

“Hey, Yn,” he smiles in delight, uttering your name in a familiarity that infuses your being with warmth. Even though you've only talked once, two days ago.

“Hey, Chris,” you greet back, pressing the fourth elevator button again. you face the mirror to find Chris already looking at you, his eyes instantly locking with yours.

“The cookies were good,” he smiles softly and you grin. “I'm glad you think so.”

“Where is your bakery? I need to taste more of your baking.”

The butterflies in your stomach tone down at his words, your attraction momentarily forgotten as gratitude coats your heart instead.

“I can text you the address?” you propose.

“Yeah, here,” he takes out his phone, a picture of him and Sowon set as his lock screen— their cheeks are pressed tightly to one another, messily done eyeliner on both their eyes. you giggle to yourself as you grab the device.

“Cute picture,” you muse and he brings an arm to his neck, scratching the side of it timidly.

“She insists on trying her makeup on me.”

“She makes you look better,” you giggle and he rolls his eyes, tongue poking against his cheek.

“She wants to become a stylist,” he explains, as the elevator doors open. He lets you out first, arm stretched forward.

“I find her passion really cute so I buy her anything she asks for,” he shrugs and you chuckle, pointing to the bag of pink ribbons he is carrying.

“Let me guess, she wants to use these on you?”

“Yeah. She also said that I quote ‘need to learn new hairstyles because her friends always come to class with intricate braids, and she can't go to class with a simple one.’” He repeats, tone growing slightly high-pitched as he mimics his daughter's words. Yet, the fond smile on his face is louder, screaming of his love for her.

“She has you wrapped around your finger,” you muse, leaning against your door. The keys in your bag are long forgotten.

“She can be very scary for such a little girl.”

“What does she threaten you with?” you ask, feigning horror.

“No goodnight kisses,” he whispers, as if scared she'd hear him beyond the wooden door.

“Torture,” you gasp, placing your hand on his shoulder reassuringly. Yet, the smiles slip out of your face instantly. Was it normal for clothes to dissolve under your touch, layers of cotton and leather doing nothing to stop the warmth of his skin from seeping through you? Was it normal to be so affected by such an innocent touch?

“Uhm,” you clear your throat, “I can help you. with her hair, I mean.”

“You don't have to. I already took too much from your time with the cookies,” he seems truly apologetic, his tone sobering as if despising others doing things for him. You see yourself in him, in the way he wants to carry the world’s burden on his shoulders. It is a reflection you wish to mend.

“I don't mind, I remember feeling jealous of the other girls in my school so I made myself learn all the braids.”

And then you see his gratefulness, the twinkle in his eyes that you can only grasp for a millisecond before they disappear into moon crescents. Happiness looks grand on him, overtaking his entire face, brightening his features with a glow too ethereal to be of mankind, as if they were carved to translate joy. You find yourself willing to give up more of your time to see it.

“Thank you,” he breathes out and you nod, a grin taking over your face as well.

“You’re welcome. Let me just change my clothes.”

☃︎⋆꙳•❅

“And then, you pull the right strand all over to the middle one. Then you repeat, this way the ribbon is braided into the hair,” you explain to a very concentrated Chris, his eyebrows furrowed as he follows your movements.

“It looks easy when you do it,” he frowns and you giggle, handing the mirror to Sowon so she'd be able to look at her hair.

“Do you like it,” you ask, a tad apprehensive and she beams, dimples that almost swallow her chubby cheeks surging forth.

“Pretty!” she exclaims and you giggle, bopping her nose. “You are pretty.”

“And you are pretty too. right, daddy?”

You turn back to find Chris watching you, a smile so fond on his face that it renders your insides putty, coats your cheek in the palest shade of pink.

“Very much so,” he says, tone quieter, his eyes never leaving yours.

Sowon suddenly climbs on her dad’s lap, star and moon stickers in hand. She places them all over his face, and he sits there diligently, arms wrapped around her midriff so she won't slip away. Every carefully placed sticker is punctuated by a soft gasp from him and a small giggle from her. You could feel the love radiating from both of them, a feeling so strong it made your heart twist in your chest.

Were there red neon exits you weren’t aware of in your being? Ones through which love trickled away all these years ago? Were the spaces between your fingers carved to hold someone’s hand, or to make everything you've ever wanted slip from your grasp?

“What do you think?” Sowon startles you and you force a smile on your face, willing the heaviness in your heart to dissipate. There were questions you'd never find the answers to, you had to make peace with that.

“I love it!” you grin and Sowon nods, satisfied. You look down at your lap as Chris fixates his eyes on you, a worried crease growing between his eyebrows.

“Fun is over, you need to do your homework, Miss Bang,” he scolds and you snort, as Sowon rolls her eyes slightly.

“Did you just roll your eyes at me?” he fakes offense and you giggle as Sowon huffs slightly. “Dad, I told you I have no homework. I already did it with uncle Felix.”

“Oh, right,” he deflates slightly before brightening up once again, “then, you should put away all these hairbrushes and ribbons, okay?”

“Will you watch a movie later with me?”

“Of course, baby.”

“Okay then,” she grins, quickly standing up to start putting away her things. you smile, getting up your turn to leave. Chris understands and stands with you on cue.

“You can stay and watch the movie with us.”

“It's okay, I have some things to work on,” you turn around, but then you feel his fingers wrapping around your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.

“Are you okay?” he asks, hand still burning straight through your skin, igniting a million nerve ends with a simple touch. You avoid his eyes, looking down at the ground. It seems to be response enough for him.

“We’re conditioned to say yes even when we aren’t, right?” he speaks softly, his words travel through your veins in a rapid course against the current of your blood— which one will reach your heart first and flood it?

Your facade cracks. His voice wins.

“So, you don't have to reply now,” his thumb swipes once across your pulse. “But I'll be here if you ever wish to tell the truth.”

iii.

You’ve grown exceptionally fond of Chris in the span of mere months, more than you would like to admit to yourself. It was an easy task, as natural as the current of a waterfall. Yet, you did not plan for it, for a new emotion to settle on top of your lungs, to make you more aware of your heart and how it beats, slightly faster, around Chris. But it happened serendipitously, against all odds, when he knocked on your door at 10 p.m. asking for salt.

“Should I start buying groceries for you?” you joked, and it took Chris a millisecond longer to respond, his gaze wandering across your face, as if discovering the world’s eighth wonder, hidden in plain sight all these years.

“For my defense, I have a daughter that likes experimenting with cooking,” he smiled, and you raised an eyebrow at him.

“Just with salt?”

“She added four teaspoons of it in an omelet. Then forced me to eat it because I always tell her food shouldn't go to waste,” he shudders at the memory and you chuckle loudly.

Chris knocks on the doors of your heart, once.

It happened when you spotted a cockroach the size of your palm on your bedroom wall. You would’ve killed it, you were going to, except it started flying towards you and you let out a loud shriek you didn’t know your vocal chords were capable of conjuring. So, you called Chris.

“Can you please come over,” you murmured, crouching near the entrance door, a pair of slippers in your hand.

“Why are you whispering? are you okay?” he sounded worried, and you heard the turning of a lock as he opened the door to his apartment. He didn’t ask questions, instantly coming to your aid. A sudden urge to weep filled your being at his gesture.

“There is a cockroach. a flying one,” you precised, horror dripping from your tongue and his laugh flooded your ear, tiny squeaks that made your hold on the slipper grow limp.

“I'm from Australia,” he knocked on your door, and you stood up promptly. “I've seen worse,” he said once you finally opened it, his eyes softening incredibly when they met yours.

He did kill the cockroach, by spraying your insect repellent enough times to asphyxiate you too. “I don't think I can sleep in there tonight,” you sighed, gulping down ice cold water, “why does it feel like we went through war?”

“We? You were behind my back all the time.”

“I was cheering you on, from afar. Spiritually.”

“I can’t believe a cockroach scares you this much.”

“You literally screamed when it flied towards you too.”

“I didn't scream! I made a very manly, non-terrified sound.”

“Mm, sure,” you giggled, voice softening at the blushing of the tip of his ears. Chris didn't have to force the door down to your heart, you willingly opened it for him.

And after that, it was a race to find the silliest excuses to see one another. Chris suddenly taking up an inkling for baking, you manifesting a newfound interest in music, Sowon needing her makeup done for a dance, Chris visiting you in your bakery, Sowon craving your cookies and you teaching her the recipe, Chris knocking on your door and you knocking on his. The same giddy smiles on your faces as you usher each other in. And it always, always ending with a movie night.

“Let's watch Tangled,” Sowon exclaims, clapping her hands excitedly.

“Baby, we watched this movie for the past…” he looks at you for support. “Three,” you whisper, a bashful smile on your face. “Yeah, for the past three movie nights,” he whines slightly.

“But I love it,” she says, her pout morphing into a huge grin. “Again! Again! Again!”

“Fine,” he concedes, mouthing “save me,” from afar to you. You giggle softly while Sowon cozies up to your side, your arm naturally draping across her body while her legs stretch atop Chris’ lap, naturally, as if having you both by her side was the way things have always been. The only reality she’s ever known.

It is a fleeting fifty minutes as the three of you watch the movie, Sowon reciting excitedly the lines that she seems to remember. But then the quiet is replaced by her soft snores, her body growing light against you.

“She fell asleep,” you whisper, tapping Chris’ shoulder to catch his attention. He tilts his head to the side, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips as his eyes land on his daughter.

“I'm sorry you have to watch the same movie every time,” he says apologetically and you shake your head.

“I don't mind. Tangled is a good movie.”

“Are you here just because of the movie?” he smiles, dimples peeking through. The juxtaposition between the weight of his words and the soft expression on his face makes a buzzing warmth spread through you. He’s cold and hot, in and out, yours but not.

“What do you want me to be here for?” you throw back, squeezing his shoulder slightly.

“The company.”

“I do find Sowon entertaining.”

“Just her?” he pouts and you giggle, tipping your head back.

“And you too, I suppose, by extension.”

“By extension, mm,” he hums, as he gathers Sowon in his arms, freeing her from your hold. “Then I guess I shouldn't come visit you in your bakery anymore. Since you only enjoy my presence by extension.”

“So sassy,” you shout-whisper as you both walk to Sowon's bedroom, “I like your company too, idiot.”

“Yeah?” he turns back to look at you, tone a tad bit too hopeful. He doesn’t care that he sounds eager for your approval, not when he feels as if he can only truly breathe when you're near.

“Yeah, Chris, I really do,” you speak earnestly, and Chris bites his lower lip slightly, suddenly overwhelmed by the gentleness of your tone. Your eyes follow his action instantly.

He lowers Sowon gently onto the bed and she stirs awake, blinking repeatedly at the both of you. “Yn,” she calls out quietly once her eyes land on yours and you kneel before her bed. Chris watches from the door entrance as Sowon cups her hand near your ear, before whispering something to you. He notices your body stiffening, your gaze fleeting to him before you relax, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

He wishes he could freeze time, stitch this moment into his eyelids until it is the only thing he sees when he goes to sleep. Loneliness is too big of an enemy for one person to fight off, but it seems more harmless when you are near.

Chris sees you right here, every night, not forcing your place into his family, but falling seamlessly into place. Perhaps you were the missing piece that’ll soothe the burn in his heart. Perhaps he’d let you in, even as fear paralyzes his being at the mere thought of asking you to stay.

One week later.

You've grown used to the knocks on your door at ungodly hours of the night, Chris seeking your company each time you both fail to fall asleep. Except this time, there is a chilling premonition in your heart as you walk to your home’s entrance, anxiety coiling like a steel ball in your throat.

“What’s wrong?” you ask upon opening the door, locking eyes with Chris's bloodshot gaze.

“Sowon,” he heaves, tone laden with fear, so different from how he usually pronounces her name. The syllables pierce through your heart like an arrowhead dipped in alarm.

“Sowon?” you question, peering behind him to his slightly ajar apartment door.

“Yes, she has a high fever, and it won’t come down. I tried everything, and I-I don’t know what to do anymore. She’s shaking, but I can’t—”He trembles, his quivers akin to delicate chinaware on the precipice of an earthquake, poised to shatter at your feet. You'd plunge to the ground first, anything to soften his impending collapse.

“It’s okay,” you soothe, your voice soft as you grasp his wrist. “Let’s go see her, okay?”

“It's her first time being this sick,” he whispers, clearly distraught, one hand running through his freshly dyed blonde hair.

“It's okay. Don’t panic, it happens. Did you give her medicine?”

“Yes, a few minutes ago,” he replies as you guide him towards her room.

“Good, it'll start working soon,” you reassure, opening the door and crouching before Sowon.

“Hey, Rapunzel,” you coo softly, and Sowon attempts to muster a smile. Her cheeks flush, eyes dim like withered petals.

“How are you feeling?” you ask, pressing your hand to her feverish forehead. You cast a wary glance at Chan, who's anxiously biting his thumb.

“Cold,” she whispers, and you nod, peeling off her blanket. “I know you are, but you have a high fever. We need to let it cool down, okay?”

“I-I’m shaking,” Sowon sighs, lower lip protruding and trembling, both from the iciness clawing at her frail being, and the tears welling in her waterline, like a cup on the brink of overflowing.

“Shh, don't cry. It will pass, it's okay,” you murmur soothingly, cradling her face on your lap, gently moving damp strands of her hair behind her ear.

“Chris, can you bring me a towel and a bowl with cold water?” you ask softly, and the man startles, painfully peeling his eyes away from his daughter, as if doing so would consign her to a dark fate.

“Sure. Sure,” he repeats, scurrying out of the room.

Sowon buries her cheek in your thigh, small hands clinging tightly to yours. You tie her hair up into a loose bun as Chan hurriedly comes back, a bassinet in his hand.

“Thank you,” you smile, as he kneels beside the bed, his hand resting on Sowon’s knee gently.

“Hey sweetheart,” he coos softly, and Sowon blinks at him, light spilling over her face.

“Hey daddy,” she replies as you dip the towel into the water, before squeezing the fabric to remove any liquid excess.

“You're being so strong. I love you so much my pretty girl,” he says, bringing her small hand to rest upon his cheek, bestowing a gentle kiss on her palm.

The moment feels so intimate, so tender, that you almost feel like an intruder. You imagine this is what thorns on roses must feel like, so out of place amid delicate petals and stems.

“I love you too,” she grins, and you remain silent, diligently wiping her face and neck with the dampened towel. You soon lose track of the number of times you've repeated this motion, but Sowon’s eyes are now closed and her body is no longer trembling.

You rest your palm upon her forehead, a sigh of relief escaping your body as you realize that her fever has gone down noticeably- the medicine finally taking effect.

“It's better now,” you smile reassuringly and Chris’s eyes widen, irises shaking as he looks back to his daughter.

“Will she be okay?”

“She will be. She just needs to sleep a bit.”

“Okay, thank you.”

“Can we prepare her something to eat meanwhile?”

“Mm,” he absentmindedly nods, his fingers trailing down Sowon’s features delicately, resting upon her round cheeks.

"She looks just like you," you softly smile.

"I know," he admits, not with pride but in surrender, as if his reflection was nothing but a cursed fate. His voice tastes like ocean water, salty, acid, suffocating.

“Chris…” you trail off and he shakes his head, abruptly standing up.

“Let's make her chicken noodle soup. She loves it,” he says and you nod. A ticking bomb resides in his veins, devoid of a countdown, leaving you unsure of when he'll finally explode.

You get your answer soon after—it takes two minutes and thirty-three seconds for the first tear to roll down Chris’s cheek. You spot it as you retrieve carrots from the fridge, averting your gaze as Chan angrily wipes it away.

A few seconds later, five tears follow the same agonizing trail, and now the knife is shaking in Chris’s hands. He squeezes his eyes shut as if frustrated by his pain, by the emotions escaping through the cracks in his heart.

You stay silent, bringing the water to a simmer.

The clank of metal against the counter snaps your attention, and you see Chris with his head lowered down, his hands tightly clutching the counter.

Your tongue moves before you can order it to speak.

"Chris," you call out, your hand finding its place on his back. An ugly sob escapes his lips, a raw cry unearthed from the depths of the soil where he buried his feelings, never allowing himself the grace of grieving, then moving on.

“I'm a horrible father,” he utters so brokenly as if this idea were cemented into his head, woven into every thought of himself—an adjective that lingers like a phantom each time Sowon calls him dad.

“You're not, what are you saying?” you gently turn him around so he'd face you. But his eyes remain downcast, as if ashamed to meet your gaze.

“I didn't know what to do. I panicked. I-I wasn't enough to help her.”

“It's okay, you can't know everything, you are trying your best-”

“No, no, no, it's not just about this!” he snaps, despair clinging to his eyes as he finally looks at you. “It’s hard. It’s so hard to be here alone, and I- I try but it's not enough, I can't do everything and I'm not a good enough parent for her, there will a-always be something missing.”

“You're wrong,” you say but he shakes his head in disagreement. “Chris, you're wrong,” you cradle his face, taking you both by surprise. Your thumb swipes gently underneath the skin of his eyes, wiping his cascading tears.

“You love Sowon. And she can feel it, she can see it, she can hear it. Everyone can. A parent can't be perfect, but they should love. And you love her.”

“What if I can't even love her enough for a father? How will I ever fill the role of two parents?” he's leaning onto your palm, hanging onto your every word. You'd sit for hours and untangle every thread of his mind if you have to, until you single out the infested one and burn it away.

“She loves you Chris. She looks at you as if you hang every star in the sky. As if you're responsible for every good thing that happens in our world. She loves you and you love her.”

You gaze up at the ceiling, tears welling in your eyes. Chan notices the subtle tremble in your hand against his cheek.

“If I had someone who loved me as much as you love Sowon when I was a child, I would've turned out so differently,” you smile bitterly, swallowing down the lump in your throat.

“You won't be a perfect dad. You can't be. But she won't grow up with a throbbing heart, pulsating because of a void that cannot be filled. Her veins won't be poisoned by hate and abandonment. Because she knows what it's like to be loved,” you pause, as your voice breaks, traitorous tears rolling down your cheeks. “To be cared for.”

Your eyes hold his in a silent conversation, secretly telling him what your tongue cannot speak of— Sowon, an untarnished blossom, won't unfurl into a solitary flower the way you did.

“I'm sorry,” he whispers after a while, eyes softening in understanding. His knuckles brush gently against your cheek.

“Why are you apologizing?”

“So you'd find a reason within you to forgive,” he says, as he leans forward to press a tender kiss on your forehead. And somehow it feels more intimate than any way you've been touched before.

Five days later.

chris [11:32 p.m.]: you up?

yn [11:32 p.m.]: i just got bad flashbacks to my college years

chris [11:33 p.m.]: ajaksjsbsbbs

chris [11:33 p.m.]: i didn’t mean it like that ㅠㅠ

chris [11:33 p.m.]: wanna come over? i'm in the studio but im not feeling inspired

yn [11:34 p.m.]: and how will i help?

chris [11:34 p.m.]: i find your presence inspiring

You don’t reply, instead putting on your slippers and walking over to his apartment. He opens the door before you even have the chance to knock.

“What are you working on?” you ask once you’re settled atop his chair, spinning around slightly. He looks down at the pillow on his lap, lightly plucking its pink fur. “A song for Sowon,” he admits softly and your eyes grow a little wide.

“That is so sweet,” you pout, inching closer to him. “How is it going?”

“I've finished the melody and now I'm working on the lyrics. There is just.. so much i want to tell her, i'm unsure if ill be able to express it well.”

“Can I read what you wrote?”

“Yeah. Yeah, sure,” he searches through his papers. “Here.”

May these words be the first to find your ears

The world is brighter than the sun now that you're here

I'll give you everything I have

I'll teach you everything I know

I promise I'll do better

I will soften every edge

I'll hold the world to its best

And I'll do better

Tears spring to your eyes unexpectedly, you try to stop their flow but they fall upon the paper, splattering like a broken mosaic, mimicking the brokenness of your own heart.

“I'm sorry,” you spin around, your back to him as you attempt to dry your tears, and yet they show no desire to stop. Chris is in your heart and he’s kicking every other emotion out, forcing you to make amends with your sadness, the one you buried years, years ago.

Chris gently grabs the back of the chair, pulling you back to him before spinning your chair once again until you are facing him. You bury your face in your hands and his rests reassuringly on your knee, squeezing it slightly. “Is it so bad it made you sob?”

“Shut up, you know this isn’t the case.”

His hand delicately traces up your arm, gently lifting your fingers from your face. He kneels before you, his thumb tenderly wiping away the traces of tears on your cheeks.

“Talk to me?”

“It's so beautiful, so warm, so loving. Everything a parent should think of their child,” a traitorous hiccup escapes your lips. “Everything my parents never felt for me.”

Chris’ mouth morphs into a pout, eyebrows scrunching tightly. You shake your head, smoothing down the worried crease between his eyes.

“I don't feel sad over things I can't control and I love myself enough now to compensate for what I didn't have, but sometimes-'' your voice breaks, Chan’s hold on your hands tightens. “It stings to remember what could’ve been.”

Stings was an understatement, it is rather a pulsating void, throbbing in ache every day, calling out for its missing piece. How can I fill you with what was lost when it chose to walk away?

“Come here,” he whispers, coaxing you to your feet, his arms enveloping your body as he guides your head to the crook of his neck. His body runs warm, the material of his sweatshirt soft, and he smells nice too, the contours of his muscles tailor-made to complement the ridges of your own.

“You grew up well, Yn. You did well.”

You clutch his shirt, tightening your grip as you fist the fabric in your palm. He's patting your back, and time slows down to match the rhythm of his touch.

“Love can be hard, I know. Especially when the people who left are the ones supposed to be staying.”

He understands, more than anyone you know. He missed out on a different kind of love too, two facets of the same coin.

“You’re doing well too, Chris. You shouldn’t doubt yourself as much,” your arms trail up to encircle his neck, as his nose tickles your hair. You're the one hugging him now. “Sowon is really smart, she told me that she loves you a lot. She can feel it. She sees everything you do for her.”

“Is that what she told you that movie night?”

“Partly,” you whisper, and Chris leans away slightly, his warm palms still pressed to your waist, holding you close.

“What else did she tell you?” he asks, curiosity barely hidden in his tone.

You pause for a while, eyes going over the entire room before finally locking on him.

“She thanked me, said that I make you smile more.” You suck in a deep breath, gathering your courage. “Do I?”

“There are smile lines that don’t show on my face until you're near.”

“Oh.” That is the only coherent response you can formulate, and Chris giggles, a tiny squeak escaping his lips in a huff. “Cute,” he murmurs, planting a tender kiss on your temple. His lips linger, holding onto the moment a beat longer than necessary, causing your eyes to close in delight. Both of you find yourselves blushing as he leans away, a shared warmth coloring the space between you.

“Sorry, didn't mean to make the mood somber,” you say sheepishly as you sit back down, eyeing Chris’s laptop. “I wanna hear this,” you quickly point to a random track on his screen before he can reply, hoping to make the sadness flee away.

“This one? It’s not really good, let's listen to something else,” his rambling and eagerness to change the track pique your curiosity and you quickly click on the song before he can stop you.

connected.mp3 starts playing.

Sultry beats inundate your ears, weaving through your veins and whisking you away to the pulsating rhythm of a dance club. You knew Chris produced good music, yet you never fathomed that his voice could be so luxuriously rich, cascading over you like molten wax. You feel a blush rise to your cheeks at the suggestive lyrics, the innuendos peeking behind every word. And then, a sudden jealousy claws at your heart, at the thought of Chris hunched in his studio, fantasizing about connecting with someone who isn’t you.

You wished to be the only one Chris liked.

“It’s a- a demo for one of my clients,” he explains through a stutter once the song is done, and you nod meekly, willing your body’s temperature to go down, for the possessivity crinkling in you to fizzle out.

So, you put on your best taunting smirk.

“I know you want me don’t crumble.. No need to be desperate we’re just getting started,” you sing-song back. “You were feeling so cocky when you wrote this, right?” you grin, inching your chair closer to his. “Feeling yourself, Mr. Bang?”

He chuckles with a hint of annoyance, running his tongue along the expanse of his lower lip. Leaning back into his chair, he casually spreads his legs a bit wider, a gesture that suddenly leaves you feeling dizzy, on him.

“It’s cute how affected you seem by it,” he throws nonchalantly, crossing his arms before his chest.

“I'm not,” you smile, although your erratic heartbeat spoke of a different tale, you just didn't need to voice it to him. “I think you were the one getting all hot and bothered in your studio,” you stand between his legs, hovering over him as he leans back fully in his chair.

“I was thinking of a pretty girl.”

“Yeah?”

“Mm,” he suddenly grabs your waist, you feel like your entire body is ablaze. “The prettiest.”

"Who is she?" you exhale, teetering on the edge of crashing your lips onto his, like an incoherent love poem, hastily scrambled on a notebook in a fit of anger.

“y–” The door suddenly opens, Sowon’s small frame standing by the door, she’s rubbing her eyes tiredly, her chick plushie dangling from her hand (a gift from her uncle Felix as she explained to you). You quickly scramble away from Chris as he clears his throat loudly.

“Daddy, I can't sleep,” she says faintly, a tiny pout drawn on her lips, and you can see Chris physically melt at her words, at the way she paddles to his chair, and tries her best to climb up his legs. She fails to do so, so he quickly scopes her up his arms until she’s buried in his hold. Her small hands wound up around his neck, and he tenderly pats down her hair, his gaze never wavering from her frame.

“Want me to sing to you, sweetheart?”

“Yes,” she whispers, before making grabby hands at you, your heart softens like clay dough as you scoot closer, enclosing her fingers in your hold.

“Sleep well, Sowonnie,” you whisper.

“Can’t you stay with us?” she asks and you feel your blood freeze in your veins, your heart skipping three beats at once.

To stay. What a frightening concept. Even more scary when you realize that you aren’t opposed to it.

You yearn to stay, for the first time in years, you wish you could.

You swallow the growing lump in your throat, before smiling reassuringly. “I'll stay till you fall asleep.”

Conditions, it is the way it has always been for you. staying till you’re no longer useful, staying till you're no longer wanted. Staying, but always with a time limit, always with an expiration date.

iv.

You’re avoiding him.

Chris knows you are, since you no longer come over to his house, claiming that you’re tired, or that you have an important order to bake for the next day. He would have believed you had he not seen you only once in the past three weeks.

Those were excuses, and each one of them weighed heavily on Chris’ heart, on his home too, his studio particularly, the one that got used to the sound of your laugh.

He misses you. He never thought he’d miss someone again, craving you presence as if every breath leaving his body depended on you. He wasn’t a stranger to intimacy, fleeting hookups every now and then. Strangers invited him to their bed, knowing what they were signing up for– one night of pleasure, never to be seen again, their faces blurring into an indistinct mass in his mind, like an impressionist painting where no features stand out. Yet, with you, every detail is etched in his memory.

He could pick you out of a crowded room, recognize the delicate curve of your neck, the fullness of your lips, and the way your nose scrunches when you smile.

He could draw the moles scattered on your body from memory alone, recognize your scent from miles away– your cotton shampoo and the specific laundry detergent you love to use and a hint of vanilla that never truly leaves you.

He’d remember the curve of your lashes and the cascading of your hair, the airy giggles you leave across like a trail for him to follow everywhere, and your eyes– the way they gazed at him, softening slightly around the edges, shining brightly as if crafted from stardust, the way they softened even more when you looked at Sowon, voice growing slightly high pitched as you listened to his daughter’s rambles.

How did you manage to make his home yours without ever living in it?

“Dad?” Sowon calls out and he snaps his head up, locking eyes with his little girl. She’s sitting on a high stool, munching on her pizza, a pensive look on her face.

“Yes, sweetheart?” he asks, walking over to her side.

“Where is Ynnie?” she asks in a small voice and he freezes, mulling over his response. He settles for the truth.

“I don't know, baby.”

“Does she not want to play with me anymore?” Sowon whispers, and he doesn’t remember his daughter ever being this tentative about voicing a question.

“No!” he's quick to reassure, cradling Sowon’s face between his much larger hands. “Of course not baby she loves you a lot.”

“Okay…” she nods, a small pout drawn on her lips still. Chris senses his heart physically crack in his chest.

“Do you wanna work in the studio with me?” he says in a joyful tone, and she instantly cheers up, the twinkle in her eyes found again. “Yes!”

“Finish your food first, okay Wonnie?”

“Okay!”

In Chris's life, regrets have been scarce, and certainly not in the form of Sowon, his beacon of hope, as he named her. Having her was beholding a sun wherever he went. However, a fear lingers, a whisper in his heart, suggesting that letting you go might be his one true regret.

So when his daughter falls asleep, he knocks on your door once again. He's suddenly transported into that cold night, months ago, where he asked you for flour. Had he known you were behind it he would’ve knocked much sooner.

“Hi,” you greet softly once you open the door. He takes a step forward, his wolf slippers matching with Sowon’s bump into your plain ones. You avert your gaze, finding anything but him to fixate on.

“You're avoiding me,” he says matter-of-factly, voice soft, resigning to you.

“I'm not,” you contradict, even as your eyes remain on the ground. He finds himself missing the color of your irises.

"Look at me, hm?" he implores, and you stay rooted in place. A soft sigh escapes him as he cradles your right cheek with his warm hand, his thumb gently sweeping across your cheekbone. "Yn, please, I want to look at you."

Maybe it is the pleading tone of his voice or the way his thumb tenderly grazes your skin, but something about Chris makes your resolve unravel, threads of fear unknotting before your eyes. So, you finally look at him. An exhale of relief escapes him.

And then you speak.

“You asked me if I was okay, and I didn't reply, back then,” you say, leaning your head further against his palm as tears well up in your waterline. “Do you still want to know my answer?”

“Of course, always.”

“I'm happy. With you, with sowon. I feel this warmth that I have never known before when I'm with you. It was almost easy to forget I've known you during winter,” you chuckle dryly, “but it is all an illusion, I lie to myself thinking I could stay, I… I can't, I-“

“What if I ask you to stay?” he brings your hand to his heart, where it beats erratically, pulse seeping through your skin.

He’s as scared as you are.

“Chris…”

“What if I told you, Yn, please stay with me,” he breathes out, guiding your hand to gently cup his cheek. “Would you? Would you stay?”

“I'm terrified,” you whisper, as he tilts his head, bestowing a tender kiss on your palm.

“I know, so am I. But, you make me believe that even my bruised parts are worthy of love.”

He wins, before years of skeletons and piled up doubts, he wins.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I'm staying.”

“You are?”

“I am,” you giggle lightly and he staggers back, the sun pouring into his smile.

“Um, wow, okay. Thank you for staying,” his voice sounds airy, happiness floating in his tone, and you find it contagious, imprinting into your own.

“Thank you for asking me to stay.”

“You made it less daunting,” he pats your head, smoothing your hair down. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

He giggles in response and you can't help but mirror the sound. “Why are you so nervous?”

“Whaaat? I'm not,” his tone grows high-pitched and you roll your eyes amusedly.

“What happened to connected Chris?”

“He is flustered by the girl he wrote about.”

Your cheeks tint red as he places a hand above your head, caging you in place.

“I think the girl should get paid for being the muse.”

“Oh yeah?” he smirks, “I'll think about it.” His grin softens, as a content expression washes over his face. You know you must look the same. “Let's talk more tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay,” you grin, before placing a chaste kiss on his cheek. “Good night, Chris.”

“Good night, yn.”

You quietly watch as he walks to his apartment door, his hand settling on the door knob. He pauses, for a few seconds where the air around you stills, before swiveling around and walking over to you again.

you win.

“I forgot something,” he breathes out, before crashing his lips onto yours, furiously, as if needing to imprint his essence onto you, tainting your soul the way you have tainted him, permanently altering the composition of his being. His lips move on yours as if they've done this before, a dance they have rehearsed countless times, perhaps in all the dreams Chris visited you in. Yet, nothing compares to how it feels to have him touch you, lick your lower lip and drag his hand up your hips, press you against your apartment door, and nibble at your neck.

Nothing could have prepared you for the passion he shows you, for how delicious it feels to be pressed against him, for the storm that your lips conjure, swirling in your heart in vibrant shades of red. Then, for the softness of his lips as they slow down their course, plump and rosy as they meet your own, tenderly, more gently, one kiss after the other. “My hope,” he whispers, as his lips find yours again, “my missing piece.”

He’s hot and cold, in yet seeking no out, finally yours.

bonus (one year later).

“So I brought the eggs, milk, sugar,” Chris enumerates as he takes out the groceries, and you turn to look at Sowon to find her already gazing at you, a mischievous look on her face.

“How much do you wanna bet he forgot flour?” you whisper and she giggles, burying her face in her hands to stifle her laugh.

“And… Wait, where is the flour?” he trails off and you burst out laughing, as you and Sowon high-five each other excitedly.

“Daddy, you are really bad at groceries.”

“Am I?” he smiles sheepishly, fiddling with his earlobe in a manner that still makes your heart melt, renders your insides butterflies speaking of Chris’ name.

“Yes, it’s good Mom bought it,” she says naturally, looking down at her iPad. You and Chris freeze in your tracks, eyes instantly locking with one another, yours and his, glossy with emotion, a loving tide enveloping you both.

It's her first time calling you mom.

You swallow down the lump in your throat, crafted not by thorns but by petals, not by ache but with love, before placing your chin on the small of her shoulder, murmuring softly. "Mm, will you help me bake, baby?"

“Yes! I wanna be a baker when I grow up, just like you.”

“What happened to being a stylist?”

“I can't be both?” she frowns innocently.

“You can be anything you want, princess.” you bop her nose and she giggles, pressing a sweet kiss to your cheek.

In the grip of winter, Chris discovers a warmth that defies the season, casting off years of cold from the recesses of his bones. A soft smile graces his lips as he gazes at you, his hopes, his girls, the three of you clad in wolf slippers.

He’ll propose to you tomorrow.

#skz x reader #skz x you #stray kids x reader #stray kids x you #stray kids angst #skz fluff #stray kids fluff #skz imagines #stray kids imagine #stray kids reactions #skz angst #skz fanfic #chan fluff #chan x reader #bang chan x reader #bang chan fluff #skz scenarios #stray kids scenarios #skz au

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wooahaes · 6 months

Text

skz - forgetting to kiss them

pairing: non-idol!skz x gn!reader

prompt: u forget to kiss them hello when u come home

genre: fluff!! just silly fluff

warnings: food mentions :3 + intentional lowercase & no proofreading.

daisy's notes: couldnt b me. id never stop greeting them w kisses. no one look at how long jisung's is i was particularly delulu when i wrote it

bang chan

chris noticed... almost immediately that was off about you. the embarrassing part was that it was partially due to the fact you didn't greet him with your usual "hi, i'm home" kiss.

it wasn't that chris looked forward to that kiss (he did, but that wasn't the point). he liked to think he was just... attuned to you. that he could feel the general vibe you had whenever you entered a room. he wasn't missing your "i'm home" kiss--he was merely noticing that you weren't feeling great. that something was weighing on your mind. so he called out as he heard you go back to the kitchen to get something to drink, asking about your day.

immediately, he heard you let out a long sigh. "work was awful and then i missed my bus so i had to take a cab."

chris nodded. "ah. gotcha."

you made your way over, sitting down next to him. "... did i do something?" you looked over toward the door, trying to retrace your steps. you hadn't slammed the door, and you hadn't been too late coming home...

"nah!" he looked over, "i mean, you kinda didn't give me a kiss when you came home. figured something was wrong."

you stared at him for a moment. did you really always give him a kiss when you came home? you liked to, because it was your own little way of saying "hi, i missed you," to him with just a quick peck. after a moment, you leaned in, pressing a quick peck against the corner of his lips before planting another on his lips proper.

"there," you giggled. "is that better?"

judging by the way chris giggled back, pulling you in for a third... maybe not. (but it wasn't as if you were going to complain.)

lee minho

usually, minho didn't mind whether you kissed him or not. he'd always enjoy your kisses, and found it endearing that you pressed a quick kiss against his lips whenever you came home, but he never asked nor would he ever force you to do it. sometimes he'd kiss you as a greeting, though, just because he liked to see your smile.

other times, when he was feeling a little more devious... he'd call out to you, just like he did tonight. "you forgot something!"

you came back into the room, shirt half-unbuttoned as you'd been in the middle of changing. you furrowed your brow, pouting a little as you tried to figure out what was wrong.

he just smiled at you. "you did."

a moment later, it hit you. you snorted, and made your way over, pulling him in for a kiss that lasted a few seconds longer than the usual one you usually gave him. your hands fell to his shoulders, and you drew back. "there. is that better?"

"i missed you," he giggled. "is that so wrong?"

you rolled your eyes, and gave him another peck on the tip of his nose. "love you, too, you dork," you said, pulling away from him to go change.

(and the sound of your laugh as you continued away despite the way he lunged to grab at you, just barely missing your ass... all minho could do was smile to himself.)

seo changbin

changbin was a reasonable guy. he waited a reasonable amount of time (ten minutes: you said you weren't going to shower or anything yet) before approaching you in the kitchen. "are you mad?"

you looked up from where you were working on dinner. he was so genuine about the question, and it threw you for a loop. had you done something to imply that you were...? all you did was get started on dinner because it was your night to cook. "what?"

"we always talk about these things," he said with a sigh. he crossed his arms, leaning against the counter, eyes bearing into your own, "did i do something? you can tell me if i did. it's okay."

"binnie, honey, i have no idea what you're talking about."

"really?" he frowned, and gave you this look of disbelief. "you always give me a kiss when you come home, and today, you didn't. do i need to run to the store? did i forget something--"

oh! you almost laughed at how adorable he could be sometimes. "nope," you said, reaching forward to pull him in. "just got distracted when i got home." ever so casually, you kissed him, and planted an extra on the corner of his mouth. "good to know you'd miss my kisses, though."

changbin just pulled you in again with a giggle, content to steal a few more from you before he let you go... for now.

hwang hyunjin

hyunjin didn't notice at first. he'd been curled up on the couch with a book when you came home, carrying a few bags of groceries that you insisted on handling yourself since they were for tonight's dinner. it was your night to cook after all, and--after asking to make sure you didn't want help--he settled back into his spot.

and then it hit him eventually: you... didn't kiss him when you came home. why didn't you kiss him? you always went out of your way to do it, after all. he leaned up, looking over to where he could see you deeply concentrating on the recipe you were reading. then again, you had set down the groceries and lounged around for a little bit first--the two of you had even talked during that. maybe you were mad at him? he knew he'd been petty about things before and denied you kisses as a result. maybe he was the one who was supposed buy groceries...? but you didn't give him a list or text him anything...

"honey?" he called out.

immediately, it caught you attention. 'honey' wasn't really his usual term of endearment for some reason: you were always his love, his baby. "what's wrong?"

his face grew warmer--was it really that concerning? "nothing--" he started, but realized that you only grew more concerned. "you didn't kiss me when you came home."

"oh."

he decided to keep going, "did i do something--"

"if you want it," you cut him off, "then come get it."

he just stared at you. "... what?"

"i was thinking about dinner," you said, turning back to what you were cooking. "but if you want that kiss, you'll have to come get it."

hyunjin found himself smiling, pushing aside his blanket and the book to get up and make his way over to you. he kissed you, smiling into it as well, as his hands fell to rest on your waist.

all better.

han jisung

jisung was not afraid to admit that he was deeply in love with you. and sometimes... that meant he'd overthink the little things. his heart was so full of devotion to you that sometimes he'd get too deep in his own head, trying not to do anything to wrong you. of course, he knew you, and he knew that you'd always accommodate him by telling him things outright. if he hurt you, you pointed it out and asked for space so that the two of you talk things out properly when both of you were ready for it. but today you were sitting at the other end of the couch, a pillow hugged against your chest as the two of you watched TV. or, well, you watched TV. jisung was watching you.

"hey." his foot bumped against your leg. "did something happen today?"

you tore your gaze away from the screen, brows drawing together. "no?" yet you continued to watch him for a moment, eyes scanning his face for anything that would give him away. "are you okay?"

he nodded. even that confused 'no?' was enough to soothe his thoughts. you would be honest with him, after all: that was what the two of you did. he settled into the couch. "i'm fine," he said, hoping it sounded casual enough.

yet you tilted your head, as if trying to get a better look at him. "baby?" you set the pillow onto the floor, moving a little closer. "did i forget something?"

he grew flustered immediately. "it's okay--it's not a big deal--"

"ohh," you lit up, smiling as you already knew. he liked the twinkle in your eyes whenever you knew something. "i know what it was." you crawled over to him, teasing him a little, "my jisungie didn't get his kiss today--"

he found himself unable to fight back a smile. "it's not a big deal, honey--"

"nope!" you giggled, and practically launched yourself at him. he'd end up pinned against the couch, "gotta make up for it with extra kisses for worrying my jisungie."

god, he loved you. you peppered kisses all over his face despite his laughter, slightly pushing back against where your hands were at his wrists to try and re-ground himself better against the couch, yet you didn't let go. sure, maybe you were hamming it up and acting extra cute for him... but he knew what this was. it was a message, loud and clear, that you cared about him wholeheartedly. you knew he could get anxious sometimes, especially when it came to potentially accidentally upsetting you. 'i want to make you happy' was what you told him once. he hoped you could feel the way he smiled into the soft kiss you pressed against his lips. when you drew back, you just stayed there, hovering over him and admiring how the glow of happiness looked on him.

"i'm home," you said.

jisung just brushed a stray strand of hair away. yeah... you are his home.

lee felix

as much as felix wanted to whine at you playfully for forgetting to kiss him when you came home (a staple of your relationship, he'd joke)... he couldn't help but worry. he continued to work at dinner, mentally going over your interactions today. he knew you well enough to know that he hadn't done anything to upset you unless you were having an off day where everything annoyed you (no shame in it, he thought; he had those days, too). it wasn't until after he finished making dinner that he called out to you.

"did something happen today?"

you looked up, brows drawn together, but he could see the fatigue on your face from stressing about something. "no?"

he set aside what he was doing, making his way over to where you were sitting, laptop open in front of you. you changed tabs immediately away from whatever you were doing for work right as felix began to knead at your shoulders.

"this is cheating," you whined, head dipping back so you could see his face.

"and i'd do it again," he said, dipping down to plant a quick peck against your forehead. "you can talk if you need to. i don't mind listening."

with a sigh, you shut your eyes while felix continued to massage your shoulders. sure enough, there was someone you had to deal with at work that had annoyed you enough that you were still running through the conversations hours later. he just stood there, listening and nodding along as he continued to work his magic on your tense muscles.

when you finished, he leaned down to press another quick kiss against your lips. "feeling better?"

"a lot, actually," you sat straighter in your chair, reaching forward to close your laptop. "thank you, lixie."

kim seungmin

seungmin had sat on the couch for too damn long, pretending that everything was fine. yes, you didn't kiss him when you came home, but that didn't mean anything. clearly, it didn't mean anything. except maybe you were mad at him, and you were withholding a stupid kiss because of it instead of talking it out like adults. that was what the two of you agreed on: no going to bed mad. to say that you were mad and needed space. not... whatever this is.

"seungmin?" you had sat down at the other end of the couch. "what's eating you?"

his eyes were a little too sharp when he looked at you, frustration all too evident on his face when he was supposed to be hiding it. "that's what i should be asking you."

and then... genuine, unfiltered confusion. your brows drew together as you watched him, smile falling. oh.

fuck. you weren't mad at him.

"never mind," he says quickly, "it's stupid--"

you moved over so that you could reach out and take one of his hands in your own, "seungminnie, it's not stupid if it's bothering you!"

ah. using cuteness to get what you wanted. unfair. "you didn't kiss me when you came home like you always do, so i thought you were mad. so then i got made because we agreed to always talk things out."

immediately, you giggled. "aw, seungmin... you really like my kisses that much?"

when you leaned forward to kiss him, he immediately shrank away, trying to block your mouth from his own. "no! not now! it's not the same now!"

yet your laugh was enough to make him drop the act. your lips pressed against his, and he smiled into the kiss, happy to have your arms around him... even if you'd never let him live this down.

yang jeongin

jeongin considered himself one of the more mature people in his friend group. sure, he could be silly and goof off sometimes, but he'd heard his other friends with partners complain about the tiniest things that turned out to be nothing. so with you, he felt a little comfortable in assuming that your "i'm home" kiss just slipped your mind. you'd texted him your bus was running late, so he'd decided to make you a cup of tea for when you came in. and when you threw yourself onto the couch, saying nothing to him for a while...

well, jeongin had a pretty strong feeling that you needed someone to listen to you instead. he'd sat down next to you, passing you the mug as he leaned in to press a quick peck against your lips. his own little "welcome home" kiss that he'd try to greet you with sometimes, if given the chance.

"do you want to talk about it?"

he watched as you took a long sip of tea, letting out a sigh once you'd set the mug down. "work sucked."

jeongin nodded. "and your bus was late..."

another heavy sigh. you turned your face to look at him, reaching for his hand. he gave it to you without any teasing, and watched as you pressed a kiss against his knuckles.

"are you sure it's fine for me to unload all of this on you?"

"that's what i'm here for," he hummed, sliding in a little closer so that he could draw you closer. "you listen to me, right?"

the hint of a smile ghosted over your lips, and jeongin watched as you settled in, head resting on his shoulder. "right..."

he just pressed another kiss into your hair as you launched into telling him about your day. no need for you to worry about giving him any 'i'm home' kisses: jeongin would supply you with as many 'welcome home' kisses as you needed to make you smile again.

taglist: @twancingyunhao @weird-bookworm @bangchansbae @jinnie-ret @cheesemonky

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