#sucidal

[sa-dnesss]

My home will be a home with no loud anger, no explosive rage, no slamming doors or breaking glass, no holes punched into the walls, no name calling, shaming or blackmail. My home will be gentle, it will be warm. No fear, no hurt and no worries. I may come from a broken and twisted place but I will build something whole and safe.

[sl33pl33s]

i just need to shut the fuck up at this point

[hamburgertomyhelper]

I don't feel like a real person a lot of the time. It takes all I have to even just exist most days. Everything's overwhelming and exhausting even though I don't do anything.

[meiifiio]

[enoughisenoughh]

I still think about dying a lot.

[bl00dycloud]

I just want to die right now :)

[iatetwosteaksandonefryforlunch]

Y'all ever meet someone new and think to yourself that they're either going to be the reason you quit and stay sober or that you're going to relapse

[faezym]

in the psych ward thinking about running away🥰

[justthetruth6]

What if I don't want to die.

What if I just want to hear what people would say about me when I'm dead.

What if they tell me they love me. What if they tell me they miss me when I am no longer here. What if they say all the nice things that I need to hear. Right now.

This is just a dream. A wish that will never come true.

Because dead people receive more flowers than the living ones. It's just like that.

Bu what if - hypothetically - these kind words would change my life.

What if - one day - I don't want to die.

What if I want to live.

[lordroshan]

I got lost in the woods, and everything is wet. I even barely survived in the cold, trying to light a fire but seems it didn't work out at all.

I might be die here, or I patient enough to wait for everything to dry so I can light the fire. But u the end, I hope that I can light it up again like the ember of fire.

Sumedang, May 2023

[luzhaa]

my mental illness getting worse every day

[writingfromheart]

[sl33pl33s]

i feel like this is the only place i can talk about my mental illness on

i just don't want to burden the people in my life cause their problems are actually so much worse

[psychohannah]

[ambrial-blog]

The Thought of Losing you  Part 2:

"Blitz, look at me" Striker  begins his eyes sharpening as his mate flinched away from him. "Here it comes" Blitzo thought. "We've  come along way since the harvest moon festival,  the make-shift shower in the barn after get 'in good and dirty in the mud.  Those long strolls late at night, underneath the starlit skies of Wrath.  Sitting on roof, watching the skies for shooting stars.  You curled up within my arm, your head rest' in on my chest. The sound of ya purring in my ear. Those long rides on Bombproof through the fields and across the countryside my arms wrapped around you waist. "Did the Harvest Moon Festival mean anything to ya, sugar-cube?. " I have no regrets, darlin that was the most fun I've had in years. And as soon as I'm done here with  this assignment  well be packing our bags and I'll be able to give ya a proper anniversary  gift  the time"

"Anniversary!  how long have we be dating?" Blitzo wonders. "Let those vermin of your squirm, and figure things out for themselves, since they're  so involved within their own insignificant  lives they don't even have the decency to check up on ya sugar" "What if, I was too late!, I could've lost  the only person holding me together"  "I would've been here sooner if I had only looked  at my phone. What happened last night?. Asks Striker, his tail slithering around Blitzo's legs his arms wrapping around Blitzo's waist. pulling him close.

Blitzo couldn't look at him, he looked everywhere but at Striker. Then he spoke, his voice cracking. "I ran into Verosika and Fizz last night. He swallows thickly unsure what the lone Cowboy was thinking. but the patient eyes begged him to continue.

" It was Moxie and Millie's one year anniversary  so I decided to follow them into the House of Ausmodeous. That's where,  and when shit hit the fan. We were singled out, and I just couldn't-  Blitzo's voice cracks. "Fizz-" "Vero- My exes.   "You weren't alone,  were you?" Striker broke in.  "You took Stolas, instead of me invited him on the premise of a date, that ditsy blue-blood doesn't even know does he?" "Are you getting what you want from him?" A tinge of jealous laced the cowboy voice. "I just want to be a part of something!"  Blitzo cuts in, "Striker I'm tired, everyone leaves me,  why haven't you?.  I'm nothing! everything I do backfires!- I can't even die right. Blitzo laughs hollowly.  "And I'm not even sure if I even want to keep doing this" Blitzo reveals.  Striker's mouth ran dry as he was cut off guard. "Its not working out, I wont be able to help  anybody without Stolas's book, I might've just killed IMP- "You've said  it perfectly, cowboy why run a business that is rigid against you"  

"Finally seeing things my way are ya? Bout time you open your eyes sugar-cube"  But what was that about dying right?. questions the Outlaw taken off-guard. "What does it matter?" Blitzo snarls under his breath attempting to burn another picture in the fireplace.  Striker snatches them out of Blitzo's hand before throwing his partner on the floor and straddling his waist pinning him to the ground. Blitzo fought to get free.

"I'll tell ya something Blitzy,  I didn't come back here, so that you could tear yourself down" snarls Striker.  "I know your hurtin, I can see it in your eyes, but quit tearing apart my mate,  you mean more to me then this job. But I refuse to walk-away, you mean somethin to me" "What do I mean to you Blitzy?" What you have with Stolas isn't real"

[enoughisenoughh]

I really want to give up.