#suddenly im exhausted

[bitchthefuck1]

you know what, I actually will talk about this because it's bothering me. The issue with focussing so heavily on syd and carmy's potential for a romantic relationship isn't that there's something inherently unintellectual about romance or whatever, it's that a lot of people seem incapable of doing that without immediately flattening the story and ignoring or intentionally misreading any and all nuance for the sake of that romance. Every scene suddenly becomes about how it impacts their relationship, every analysis is done through a romantic lens, every frame or line of dialogue becomes about finding some easter egg or hint that "proves" these people should start dating. Their dynamic is absolutely a fundamental part of this show, but if you can only see it as a will-they-won't-they, you miss so much of what the story is actually trying to say with these two.

There are good versions of this story where their relationship is romantic and there are good versions of this story where it isn't, but as soon as you decide them being together is "the point," you lose the ability to actually judge the story for what it is, not what you want it to be.

[commonzinnia]

you are still responsible for your behavior! hope this helps ✨️💖💞

i didnt say i wasnt! hope this helps 🫶🫶🫶

[baeshijima]

important announcement : hiatus

so. um. as the title says, i will be taking a temporary hiatus for about two months 🧍‍♀️

as of the time of this post i will be sleeping in preparation to wake up at ungodly hours of the day (2:30ish am) to get ready for my morning flight to america !!

it’s not really a holiday but it kind of is?? i’ll be doing work there until early august and come back home 16th august, but my days will be pretty busy and i won’t have a lot of time to write and/or post in general, since i will more than likely be spending my days off/rest hours with others or napping to regain energy lmao.

because of this i won’t be active for a little while, and wanted to give u all a heads up before the inactivity really hits 😭 there won’t be any queued posts either since i want my return to be announced in ur notifs so that u all will scream cry throw up while rejoicing ny return 😌🫶 /lh

but yeah. that’s all 🫡

[jopkajabki]

hi sorry i died again i was busy drawing nothing but prsk characters/vsynths in chiikawa art style for 3 days straight

[softandwildx]

The person who sexually harassed me when we were in school together called my job today asking for an interview. I had to set them a time for tomorrow. They had no idea it was me of course, but their name on the caller ID left me shaking for a good few minutes after the call ended.

I, in the most polite, respectful, and diplomatic way I could, told my boss the nature of the situation and that if he were to consider hiring them, it would ultimately be them or me.

He didn't even hesitate before saying he absolutely wouldn't hire this person if it made me uncomfortable, he wouldn't take a chance on anything happening to me or someone else, and he'd make sure they don't know I work there when they interview.

I want to emphasize that this was all of 10-15 years ago. My experience certainly isn't the worst it could have been. But the fact that my boss took me at my word, took me seriously, and told me he understood without judgment nearly had me in tears.

I know the bar is low. But I've never felt valued as a person in any job until I got here. Especially by a man, in a position of authority. It just reminded me that it's not all bad out there and some people are genuinely good, at least in facets.

I'm very very grateful and I also want to remind anyone who may encounter a similar situation to speak up, stand up for yourself. You may not get the reaction that I did, but for me, risking my station seemed like an easier choice than being forced to work with my abuser.

Take care of yourselves, friends 💜

[chiimeramanticore]

[quietwingsinthesky]

.

[caseyscraftycorner]

man, chronic fatigue is such a fucking scam. like, what do you MEAN other people don't randomly lose entire days to being so exhausted they can't keep their eyes open? what do you MEAN others don't have to constantly manage and budget their energy levels in order to shower??? you're telling me that how i feel every day when i wake up after 8-9 hours of sleep is how my friends feel when they come home from work after a long day??? are you kidding me???

[erisolkat]

god i hate everyone

[elftwink]

been learning to play ironsworn (gritty fantasy ttrpg which you can play with a gm but is mostly suited for solo or small group co-op gmless play) after having the rulebook pdf for several years (stars finally aligned to remove invisible thing blocking me from reading it idk) because i'm on another solo ttrpg kick & i don't know what took me so long to get around to this game because it genuinely is exactly what i was looking for. years ago when i was playing through solo 5e modules i should have just been playing ironsworn (believe it or not, 5e isn't very suited to solo play and is extremely clunky when you try lol).

also though i have dabbled in some other solo ttrpgs, a considerable amount of them are journaling games which is fun but imo considerably more work (usually by the time i'm a quarter of the way through the journal entry, i know how to entire scene played out and i want to move on to the next gameplay thing, so i get frustrated and bored quickly. it feels like when you solve a level in a video game but don't have the coordination to pull off the necessary move so you have to spend 20 extra minutes doing something you already figured out), so i really appreciate like not needing to write something for the game to progress (ive been taking notes for my own record since im playing solo and thus am not really out loud roleplaying the way you do in a group, but i definitely could do that instead and not take notes and the game would still function perfectly)

& ive been playing by myself but also in the past ive played a lot of ttrpgs in very small groups which has been other games but is mostly dnd and like. we also should have been playing ironsworn so that having a gm was not necessary. have definitely played games where we had to adapt the rules soooo much to do something that is just base game included in ironsworn. plus it's rules-light enough to do pretty complex moves that pose difficulties in bulkier games (ever introduced someone to dnd and they tell you they want to do a sick backflip and catch something and then attack and you have to tell them that will require several different consecutive rolls and some creative liberties with how the rules are 'supposed' to let you move? you can just Do That in ironsworn. use the strike move and describe it. done!)

the one thing is that although it's rules-light enough to theoretically play any setting or genre (some with more difficulty than others), ive found so far that like... the grittiness and sense of threat is very built into the mechanics so that would be sort of difficult to work around or change (but i think it's great from a game design perspective). what i mean is like, okay: you start with 5 max hp. there isn't really a way to raise this max hp, you just slowly gain abilities (assets) that make you less likely to have to lose the hp in the first place, or that make it easier to recover. when you encounter foes, you rank them on a scale of 1 -5, and enemies on the lowest side of this scale do one harm to you, while enemies on the highest side do five harm to you. so even though encountering an epic enemy won't always be deadly due to the assets you have, they are ALWAYS capable of taking you down to 0 hp with one good hit. so the feeling of threat is much more present compared to games where your character starts to be able to just tank and push through a failure or huge threat.

admittedly also i'm playing solo, im still learning how to balance combat, and also i built a character who has NO combat talents and iron (the close quarters fighting stat) is one of my lowest stats so i personally am under much more threat than if you built a character who knew how to fight or who could do deadly harm. but also the other thing about combat is it's extremely difficult to maintain control of the fight; you have to score a strong hit to do it on basically all moves, and there's a really limited pool of moves available when you don't have the initiative, and obviously none of them really favour you. i don't know that this makes combat genuinely more difficult, but it does make you feel like the fight is always about to spiral out of your control. every second you let it drag without decisive action feels like it brings you closer to dying. like i said, this is a feature of the game design and not a problem in any way. just thinking about it because when i was initially learning i was going to try to supplant it into a homebrew fantasy world of my own but the tone just wouldn't be right. and that it is somewhat difficult to replicate the kind of worlds that i typically play or run for dnd, which tend to lean somewhat sillier and definitely much higher fantasy

but i like to try new things and tbh especially in dnd i find that i very rarely feel that sense of threat and when i do feel it, it has nothing at all to do with the actual mechanics and reality of the combat and everything to do with how well the dm sells it to me and makes it sound and feel scary and dangerous. which is a testament to what a good gm can do for you but i do appreciate the threat feeling more built-in and also being actually real.

[rapidhighway]

ughh my anxiety got so much worse recently and idk what to do about itt sorry I gotta vent in here cause google ain't helping horrible amount of tmi warning ig....

[honeyloopsenthusiast]

thinking abt how not a lot of ppl talk abt (or maybe they do and it’s me!! im the issue here i haven’t met them so if ur seeing this hmu!!) how tiring and downright cruel being in love can be for a person. maybe cruel is a strong word but it can be so very disturbing having to think abt a person all the time and I am by no means trying to say that being in love with someone is a- full time commitment and a job and it requires you to put in the hours and shi- but js the feeling part of it.

I canNOT be the only one thinking it’s not all that perfect and that when we go high we go high but when we go low we go so fucking low that im abt two millimetres from touching the ground after falling from a 80feet roller coaster drop.

And by lows i don’t mean the ups and downs however subjective this may be from person to person- i mean LOW like there’s nothing the other persons doing to make you feel this way but it’s js the act of being left in ur own company and being so sickeningly preoccupied w thoughts of them that it’s physically making you sick.

Not disgustingly sick just- sick. Like this is affecting me both mentally and physically. I’m not irked out by them im not disgusted but im just on edge??

I feel nauseous and distracted and disturbed bcs I cant stop thinking abt them and it’s leaving me restless and incapacitated to carry on w my day?? and suddenly I don’t feel like eating anymore im subconsciously skipping meals and consistently depending on what they have to say which is robbing me off my will to js be by myself??

Again they’ve done NOTHING wrong to cause this. I have never not felt deeply abt a situation. love doesn’t sound overwhelming to me love sounds dangerous. it’s taking “butterflies in my stomach” to another level and idk how I feel abt that

Being sexually fluid and shifting from being cupioromantic to being in a relationship with someone can be so frightening bcs now im supposed to do everything I’ve never done before

I have genuinely (in the least self pity way possible) been so devoid of romantic intimacy that I’ve never found myself in the position to experience it. And it’s not the inexperience that’s driving me mad it’s the fact that I’ve subconsciously rejected affection and the idea of being the object of attraction so much that it’s physically uncomfortable to be unknowingly doing things that I’d never do before.

I love them and I still want to be with them. They’re not the problem here but the aftermath of being in love is just not spoken about enough and MAYBE IM GOJNG NOWHERE W THIS

[famewolf]

speaking of ocd, I think I'm realizing that I truly don't have anxiety and it's literally just my ocd. im not anxious about anything until it involves me and suddenly I'm spiraling

[betweenblackberrybranches]

Sorry for not posting much depression is hittin me hard rn

I really wanna make the next part of the comic or some cute doodles or even just answer asks or talk to my moots and reblogg their super cool stuff but everything is so hard for me rn nd i am so very exhausted and thats so frustrating

I wanna have fun with all of you right now but i just cant >:( sanch

[rubiesintherough]

.

[lokh]

?? i liked a tweet but it vanished and isnt showing up in my liked tweets was i blocked 😭😭😭