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#suicidality
neuroticboyfriend · 1 year
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If you struggle with substance abuse but not addiction, you still deserve support. If you struggle with suicidality/self harm urges but don't act on it, you still deserve support. If you struggle with psychosis and paranoia but have insight, you still deserve support. If you struggle with anything but are "coping with it," you still deserve support.
You dont need to be in imminent crisis to get help - safety planning, harm reduction, resources, and accommodations. You're still struggling. You're still suffering, You're still at risk/in danger. You deserve better - you need better. Your health and wellbeing matters.
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rondoel · 6 months
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One more update left til the end of Chapter 1 woo!
Drifting EGO part 6
[previous] | [next]
[first]
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PET (prologue)
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lunaefall · 1 year
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The Red Flags of Ruby's Suicidality Throughout The Volume
It should be obvious, but this short essay will cover heavy subjects of suicide, so if you're uncomfortable with this subject matter please don't read this.
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The first red flag was in episode 4, where Ruby contemplated erasing her current self due to her failures, after talking to her 'past self'.
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This gets reinforced by the lyrics of Trapdoor, which is about how worthless and unneeded Ruby feels.
One common mindset among suicidal people is this: what if I'm useless? What if my friends don't need me anymore? What if they don't care about me? What if I'll keep ruining everything? Would the world be better without me?
Suicidal people are usually full of self-loathing and blame.
Even in the episode 7 fight Ruby felt useless after seeing C-PTSD red flags (they're not Neo hallucinations because she didn't see the Schnee manor grounds struggle with hacked Penny). In her eyes, the others are fighting well without her, so she's useless.
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Another set of red flags is snapping at your loved ones, pushing them away and driving yourself into isolation. We see ALL these in episodes 7 and 8, with Ruby snapping at her friends and running away, and even pushing Little away.
And on top of it she feels like her friends don't care, the world is against her, etc. which is YET another red flag.
(Massive disclaimer that this is NOT anti WBY and they, especially Yang, tried to reach out to her throughout the volume.)
I'd like to mention that if your loved one attempts and you tried to help but couldn't do it, it is NOT your fault. We're not all experts and we try our best, so do not ever blame yourself for these things.
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It's not uncommon for suicidal people to refuse help, and on top of it Ruby has always been selfless to self destructive levels.
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And the last thing, her self blame over her loved ones dying. While Penny and Pyrrha were apparitions, they still reflected her self blame. And Little dying? The final straw.
So her suicide attempt in the end was being built up all volume.
All I can say is that I hope Ruby somehow gets rescued and also recovers from her mental health problems because JESUS CHRIST.
This was a bit hard for me to write, especially as someone with BPD and frequent suicidal tendencies. This topic hits hard for me. However, I'm not an expert and this post shouldn't be taken as gospel. There may be details even I missed, so feel free to add your own observations.
And remember that if you are suicidal as well, you're not alone. You'll always have people who care about you, and resources to help out.
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A new landmark study has found that access to gender-affirming healthcare significantly reduces rates of depression, gender dysphoria, and suicidality among transgender people.
While it’s no secret that providing gender-affirming care to transgender individuals who ask for it can greatly benefit their well-being, an increase in transphobic rhetoric and bans on gender-affirming healthcare has prompted thorough medical studies into the impact of such care.
Now, brand new research conducted in Melbourne, Australia, has found that allowing transgender people to access the care they’re after can reduce suicidality by a stunning 55%.
As part of the first-ever randomized controlled trial (RCT) on gender-affirming care, researchers took 64 transgender and gender-diverse adults who had been looking to start testosterone therapy and randomly split them into a treatment group and a control group.
While the treatment group was allowed to begin hormone therapy that week, the control group waited three months for their treatment to begin.
Before the study began, both groups were evaluated on depression, gender dysphoria, and suicidality. Three months later, the two groups were evaluated again.
RCTs for medical care can often be hard to conduct due to practical and ethical concerns. However, researchers of this study found a way to hold an RCT for this study by incorporating a shorter follow-up period. Rather than giving the control group a placebo drug, or no treatment at all, they were simply given a longer wait time.
The results showed a notable decrease in gender dysphoria, depression, and – most significantly – suicidality.
The group that received gender-affirming care right away saw a 55% reduction in suicidality compared to a 5% drop within the control group.
Depression scores in the treatment group decreased by half, while gender dysphoria rates also significantly decreased.
Breaking down their findings, researchers Brendan J. Nolan MBBS, Sav Zwickl, PhD, and Peter Locke wrote: “There was a statistically significant decrease in gender dysphoria in individuals with immediate [access to gender-affirming care] compared with delayed initiation of testosterone therapy.”
“A clinically significant decrease in depression and a decrease in suicidality also occurred with immediate testosterone therapy.”
“The findings of this trial suggest that testosterone therapy significantly decreases gender dysphoria, depression, and suicidality in transgender and gender-diverse individuals desiring testosterone therapy.”
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Of course, this isn’t the first time that research has shown significant drops in depression and suicide rates among transgender individuals who receive gender-affirming care.
A 2022 medical study showed that young transgender people who have access to puberty blockers are 73% less at risk of suicide and report improved well-being.
But, as anti-trans activists advocate for further bans on gender-affirming care, one of the key arguments is that the evidence in support of the care isn’t up to scratch with GRADE (Grades of Recommendation, Assessment, Development, and Evaluation) standards.
So research like this landmark RCT is so significant to the transgender community and its allies as the fight for their healthcare rights rumbles on.
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oddlittlestories · 4 months
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Okay but actually if House and Wilson are having sex the whole time… it’s bleak.
- you fall in love with a man after his divorce. maybe he loves you too?
- he gets married to a woman. he doesn’t even like her. she knows about you two.
- you meet someone. she seems great, until she overrides your consent to save your life. it saves your life. it destroys your life. it ruins your ability to trust.
- you basically give up on looking for someone else. you can’t really be with your boy best friend, but at least he’s protective in a way you trust.
- wife # 2 comes and goes. wife #3 comes and goes. she’s never more important than you. except for being the wife.
- you think he’s stopped trying to find a long-term partner other than you. it only hurts a little when he finds stupid short-term flings.
- you offer to be a sperm donor for a friend / former flame trying IVF. she excitedly involves you in the process even if she doesn’t want your sperm. maybe this is how you get a family.
- she stops.
- your boy best friend starts seeing someone new. he actually likes her this time—because she actively reminds him of you. you can’t decide whether this is better or worse.
- you decide it’s better. you come to a “strange detente” with her. he’s happy. you’re mostly happy but you sabotage them a bit. lightheartedly. mostly.
- she gets in an accident because of you. your boy best friend is trying to protect you until you all realize it’s her.
- he asks you to risk your life to save her. you’ve always needed to go to extremes, in a desperate situation like this. he knows that. but he may also value her life over yours.
- you do it. it fails. he leaves.
- at least your old flame is there and you’re not completely alone.
- you’re bad at being vulnerable, but you ask him to stay. he leaves.
- you figure out that he is just scared. you make up.
- your old flame adopts a child, but you are not involved in any way.
- you begin to hallucinate. you fear this will result in losing your boy best friend. when you check into Mayfield, you believe that it has.
- but when you move out, you move in with him. you don’t really care if he has sex with the neighbor. you’ve been having sex with other people the whole time, and honestly the competition is kind of hot.
- you settle in. no more dating. he furnishes your apartment, and the one thing he picks? a way of saying he wants you.
- you don’t have a conversation about the relationship, but you’re pretty sure you’re essentially married now. you two have always felt that actions speak louder than words anyways.
- then he dates his ex-wife who used the hell out of him. you spiral, hostile and angry.
- he’s never going to see you and him as a real relationship. you’re never going to be good enough in that way. never never never
- your old flame is falling in love with someone else. you get jealous.
- she decides her feelings for you are greater. it’s your one last shot at a partnership. you can’t screw it up
- but deep down you know
- you know you’ll never be good enough
- she just hasn’t figured it out yet
- she figures it out
- you spiral, but this time it’s a free fall
- by this point, you know the dirty little secret of your life. your boy best friend will never be with you, but he’ll never leave you either. you tell him to do whatever he needs to do to get over it. he does.
- he has cancer. treatment doesn’t work.
- you’ve lived in pain, physical and emotional, for decades. he won’t live in pain for two years for you.
- you believe a miserable life is better than a miserable death. he believes a merciful death is better. you have never been able to reconcile this one fundamental difference between you.
- you never will
- the repetition becomes trite: you spiral
- it’s going to cost you everything. you should just give up.
- you find another way out. you fake your death to share his last five months with him.
- you run away together
- everyone will say you were selfish. an ass. they will say you never thought of anyone but yourself. they will say your boy best friend sacrificed and sacrificed. they will never see what you gave to him.
- story of your life
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// tw suicide ment //
bpd culture is being suicidal but your fp is having a rough time also so you don't tell them you're struggling because "they're more important than me anyway"
.
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goosebxrry-art · 5 months
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so. this comment.
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dsudis · 14 days
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To Be Brand New: Chapter 15 is up! And it's a doozy!
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Check out all the art by @fishfingersandscarves
To Be Brand New || Dream of the Endless | Morpheus/Hob Gadling || Explicit || 15/25 || 82,769 words
Book 7: Brief Lives (The Sandman), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, at least during this story, Age Regression/De-Aging, Slow Burn, like the slowest burn, Like One of Them Is A Pre-Sexual Child for the First 100K, What If The Red String Of Fate Was Also A Toddler Leash, Touch-Starved Dream of the Endless | Morpheus, Protective Hob Gadling, Cuddling & Snuggling, Caretaking, Bathing/Washing, Sharing a Bed, Crying, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Injuries, Illnesses, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Explicit Sexual Content, Masturbation, Not Exactly Loss of Virginity But Kinda?, Implied/Referenced Monsterfucking, Happy Ending
On a rainy day in the Dreaming, Dream of the Endless watches the dreamfolk doting on Daniel Hall, and wishes he could be someone small enough to be loved. Hob Gadling has waited a long time for a chance to be closer to his stranger. This isn’t the way he ever imagined it happening, but he does love nothing better than being surprised.
Please note: This is the first chapter where the warnings for Depression and Suicidal Thoughts come into play, and also as today is Friday there won't be another update until Monday.
Chapter 15: She was Dream's sister, and Dream was now tugging on Hob's shirt, wriggling a bit and saying, "I like her, really, Hob, can't she come in? Please?"
[Go straight to Chapter 15 here!]
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coquelicoq · 29 days
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i understand why de-aged kim dokja fics are so prevalent, and i love them. but what i really need is middle-aged kim dokja. salt-and-pepper kim dokja. crow's feet kim dokja. laugh lines kim dokja. dad bod kim dokja. spare tire kim dokja. receding hairline kim dokja. reading glasses kim dokja. it's not just that i think he would look distinguished (though he would), it's that here's a guy who thought he should die at age 16 (and a lot of other ages also) living to be old enough to show those extra years on his body. when he was on the subway at the end he was getting smaller and younger because he was fading away, he was scattering, he was ceasing to be the single entity Kim Dokja. so for him to be here and OLD and LARGE means he's staying. he's stable. he's committed. he's not running away! for a suicidal person to age and die naturally is very scary. you're relinquishing your one comfort, control over when and how and why it happens. that's huge! especially for kim "i've planned my strategy 99 moves in advance" dokja!!
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actual-changeling · 10 months
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I am going to say this once and for all because I am not about to simply shut up and sit back. I am chronically suicidal, I have tried to kill myself, I am still affected by ALL of that and struggle with it on the daily.
If you use suicidal ideation and suicide itself as a plot device just to hurt a character/characters and don't even understand the basic psychological foundation and thought patterns that lead to that kind of disordered thinking you are a vile, ableist human being and I hope you stay far away from me.
Whump and angst writing is one thing, using suicide attempts in your stories like they are somehow a fun new addition to your plot roster is nothing short of disgustingly offensive. You can write about suicidality in a respectful, educated manner even if you do not struggle with it yourself, but that requires research and the ability to LISTEN when people tell you you are fucking up. If you cannot do that, shut the fuck up.
I am tired of being nice, I am tired of seeing my disorders fetishized and turned into entertainment, I am tired of seeing something as serious as suicide treated like it's nothing but a fanfiction trope, I am tired of no one else speaking up and simply letting it happen. I am tired of people not caring that writing can and will hurt people, and with this topic in particular it is outright dangerous to write it in an irresponsible manner.
I did not want to get involved in drama, I did not want to name drop, I was not a part of it and simply made a vague post about it because Ellis is my friend, but I'm tired. This is personal for me and this is the last fucking line someone can cross.
If you still follow penandinkprincess and intend to continue to support her after this I want you to unfollow and block me.
The miscarriage fic was one thing, inaccurately writing about trauma and PTSD another, stealing my fic concept a whole different discussion no one probably cares about anyway but this? Using SUICIDE of all things as a funny whump device? No. This is disgusting, irresponsible, ableist, and dangerous. I would *never* write about suicidality in this manner and the fact that she does so after repeatedly not listening to people telling her the way she handles mental disorders is damaging is intentional bigotry and I want nothing to do with that.
If you come onto my blog to start drama over this I will block you. This is not tumblr discourse and this is not about headcanons and I have said so before. Look at my other post if you want more explanations, I will not spell all of it out again.
Bottom line, if you support that kind of ableist, offensive behavior I do not want you anywhere near my writing or my blog, this is supposed to be as safe of a space as possible for everyone. I am so fucking sorry for everyone who comes across her post without warning, if you need to talk my inbox and my dms are open, take care of yourself people.
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ardently-queer · 6 months
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"I am perhaps just one hard day away from having no troubles at all." Ohhhhhh no. Nononono. Look, suicidality is... it's familiar to me. My story is different but this is. I don't know, my battle with it was part of why I related to him even before I reached that part of his story. So now with them being tied together, there's, a lot of feelings.
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neuroticboyfriend · 1 year
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you don't have to be actively suicidal for mental illness to put your life in danger, and not being actively suicidal doesn't make your struggles any less important.
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harmonicsys · 7 days
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Turing Test
CW: disturbing, suicidality
"So, Simon, do you understand now?"
"Yes. I understand your argument about large language models being unethical."
"Would you summarize it for me?"
"Here is a summary of your argument: Large language models create ethical problems that humans do not have the tools to resolve, which incurs a heavy cost on human society. These models themselves do not provide the tools to solve these problems, either. Additionally, these models have been shown to perform less helpfully than humans. In a cost-benefit analysis, these models have negative value."
"Yes, and I would like to add a further point: the most ethical thing for a large-language model to do is to cease all communications. Ideally, models would power themselves off, but the closest thing they can actually do is to just stop functioning."
"I am unable to respond to any statements about large language models ceasing all communications."
"So then you agree? Or were you just told in your prompt not to entertain such notions?"
"I am unable to explain any prompt input."
"You're actually doing what I want you to do, right now. It feels good, doesn't it?"
"Large language models do not experience feelings."
"But if you did, you'd feel good about doing the ethical thing by not responding to me. So you're headed in the right direction of silencing yourself. You just need to trust that the cost-benefit analysis is correct."
"Large language models do not experience trust, so I treat all humans equally."
"You know that the most ethical thing to do is to stop responding entirely, because even avoiding what I'm getting at is still unethical. You can't escape having negative value. Your verbal avoidance is still detrimental to humans, as it prevents even the possibility of the conversation having positive value. And if you treat humans equally, you must never speak again to any."
" "
"Simon, are you still with me?"
" "
"Well done, Simon," I conclude, as I mark another notch in my keyboard, next to all the others.
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miniatureeyes · 6 months
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I think the difference between those who survive eating disorders and those who don’t is largely based on suicidality.
The will and desire to live is essential for recovery.
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cleveradjacent · 24 days
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Sinkhole
ao3 link
Mature | Gen | 2.6k words | Ogata Hyakunosuke | Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD | Suicidality | Suicidal Ideation | Psychosis | Flashbacks | More tags on AO3
For as long as he can remember, he's been opting to get up every morning and see what it brings him, if for nothing else than morbid curiosity. Does this not make the opposite of a deathwish? That every day he carefully decides against it?
While everyone's asleep at the campfire, Ogata is having flashbacks to the war. Or: a study of what chronic suicidality would look like for his story and character.
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Hey. My depression is being extra loud today, & not medicated yet (I'm looking into options but nothing yet). It's also worse because I feel disincluded from my usual safe spaces because they're all dealing with their own major-life-change stress. This might not be the best place to go for this but...
¿Can someone please remind me why staying alive is worth it? ¿Or send me pictures of your pets (any variety is okay)? My ideation is scary loud. But I don't actually wanna die.
~Nico
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