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sparkleburstdoodles · 12 days

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Stepping In The Sun: Looking Up?

Sunburst was starting to feel good.

Finally, something he was actually making progress with. Something he can actually DO. Something other ponies were proud of him for. And Sunburst was really good at it!

He couldn't help but smile with pride at the scoreboards for the final grades. His name was so high up, his neck kind of hurt looking at it.

“Wow. You're second place, Sunburst!” Bouillon Roux–an albino filly– remarked. “Think you can tutor me a bit? I got 20th place…”

“Well, shucks, I dunno about THAT.” Sunburst rubbed a leg in bashfulness. “Moondancer beat me by a LARGE margin. You probably should ask her.”

“Get real. She doesn't like anypony but her friends. I feel like she'd bite me if I approached her.”

“Come on, I don't think–”

“Look, it's Shimmer and Cadenza!”

The two turned with the crowd to see the two stellar students of the academy—under the tutelage of Princess Celestia herself! — trotting down the path.

Mi Amore Cadenza: the supposed niece of Celestia. She was a pegasus with incredibly mysterious aero-magic that seemed to enchant anypony that laid eyes on her.

And Sunset Shimmer: a newer protégé with exceptional spellcasting skills and a seemingly endless well of magic at her disposal. She also happened to be Sunburst's sister.

Sunburst ducked a little behind Roux when he spotted Sunset. He didn't want her to see him.

Sunset held her chin high, seeming to ignore Cadenza's chatter in her ear. Sunburst wasn't sure if she was trying to act cool, but she had an annoyed expression that focused directly ahead. She always seemed so mad these days.

The two mares approached the boards, where Cadenza sighed so loud. “Phew! My all-nighters paid off. I hope this makes Auntie proud! What did you get, Sunshim?”

Sunset pointed as she looked for her name, then grunted in displeasure. “Not good enough. So not fair.”

Cadenza’s ears flattened a bit, searching the board. “Well…you placed lower last semester right? So it's still very good–!”

“Oh piss off already, Cadence.” Sunset pushed through a group of kids. “I didn't ask you.”

Sunburst watched her storm away, Cadenza hurrying behind Sunset.

“What was that about?” Roux whispered. “She bit her head off.”

He shook his head. “I don't know. She's quick to be mad.”

“Huh? You know Shimmer?” she tilted her head.

Crap. Sunburst rubbed the back of his head. “It's…not important. Let's just get to class.”

“Right. Isn't today we gotta get our report cards?” Roux remarked.

Gulp.

Report cards. He didn't think that part through. He grew nervous.

“Sunburst?” Roux touched his shoulder. “Are you worried? What for?”

“I…didn't tell my mom I switched classes,” he admitted.

“Why?”

“I'm worried she'll take it wrong. And she'll make this big fuss and make the principal put me back in Spellcasting.”

Bouillon blinked. “So she won't understand? Even if you're really good at it?”

“I don't think so. When my mom has her mind set, it's hard to talk to her.” Sunburst looked down.

“My dad’s kinda harsh too,” Roux admitted. “I love cooking, but he wanted me to be a scholar more. Because he couldn't make my brother do it. Hey!” She stepped closer to his face, making him nervous. “I got an idea!”

“W-what?”

“Shh!” She warned, whispering. “I'll change your report card for you! Then she won't know!”

“Ch-change…?? Are you crazy?” Sunburst panicked. “But that's wrong. If she finds out, I won't hear the end of it!”

“She won't! Don't tell anypony, but I've gotten good at it!” Roux smirked. “I do it for my brother all the time. And Dad never catches on.”

“I don't know…” Sunburst looked away.

“It'll be just a name switch. Think about it. She'll be proud, and you don't have to go back to the other course! Avoid the conflict!”

“I would think lying would add MORE conflict…”

“Fine. How's this? I’ll change it for the night. If you don't send it to your mom by morning, I'll change it back. No sweat!” Bouillon held out a hoof. “Eh?”

Sunburst hesitated. Well…he'll be letting her down either way…but he COULD go scotch free. “....Alright. I’ll think about it. ”

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Later that night, Sunburst couldn't sleep, even if his short life depended on it. He just sat on his dorm room bed, staring at the paper.

It wasn't like he was changing his grades or anything. He was changing the class names. Could it be so bad?

Yes! This was still lying! Mom would be so mad and Dad would be disappointed! What if the school kicks him out for this?

Sunburst groaned and rubbed his forehead. He didn't want to tell Mom what he's been holding back either…could he claim he lost the report card? No, Mom would probably call the school for it.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

The orange unicorn jolted. Somepony at the door?

“H-hello?” He stood near the door, reluctant to open it.

“It's Sunset.”

Sunset??

“I don't have all night.” She grunted.

Sunburst cracked the door open enough to poke his head through. “Something the matter?”

“I'm visiting Mother tomorrow.” Sunset explained, “Did you get your report card?”

“No!!” Sunburst panicked.

Sunset blinked, and scrunched her nose in annoyance. “You don't have to yell. Jeez. I thought your whole grade got them today? I was just saving time.”

“Right…we did. Sorry I'm just…stressed over…homework!” He nodded and smiled nervously.

“....whatever. Give it to me.”

He did so. Get it over with.

“And stop wasting ponies' valuable time.” Sunset turned to leave.

Sunburst sighed, and moved to shut the door, when he heard his sister mumble.

“Take care of yourself.”

Did he hear that right?

—————————————

Another piece for Sunburst’s story! Bouillon Roux is a very old OC I decided to ponify

Cutie mark vectors are all from DeviantArt I credited them on my DA lol

#doodle #sparkleburstdoodles #my little pony #sunburst #sunset shimmer #princess cadence #story #bouillon roux

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anonymityisfunwriter · 1 year

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Battle of The Babysitter

Request from ValerieQ on AO3 : "Awesome!So sunshine is babysitting this 8yr old boy. (her and bucky arent dating yet.) and the little boy has a massive crush on sunshine(she thinks its funny.) one day she brings bucky along while shes babysittg and let me tell you. this child hates bucky witha burning passion. not cuz the kid knows who the winter soldier is. but because the boy likes sunshine. t the end of the day poor bucky is half full of rage cuz whenever mc's back is turned, this CHILD is MAKING FUN OF HIM. And when confronted about it bucky accidentally lets it slip that he likes sunshime."

Part of The Grumpy Sunshine Series

"Okay, you can do this, you can do this," Bucky chants under his breath. "It'll be fine, you can do this. Just ask. You can do this."

Today was the perfect day, Bucky reminded himself.

If he didn't do this now, he never would. He could barely remember the last time the two of you both had an entire day off together.

Actually, he could.

It was seven weeks ago.

And he chickened out then too.

He swore it was probably easier to get all the planets and stars to align than it was for your missions and assignments to coincide. He had to wait for almost two months before everything lined up all over again, and now, he had to do it.

He'd seen firsthand how other agents used their best pick up lines on you, their most obscenely flirtatious banter, it really was only a matter of time before someone captivated you like you captivated him.

It solidified his resolve. After all, there was no time like the present.

You were just sitting there in the common room, tying a ribbon around a perfectly wrapped gift box.

Bucky briefly worried that he accidentally missed someone's birthday, but he shakes off the concern knowing that you would tell him something like that.

You were always so considerate of him, even if you were slightly oblivious to the massive crush he'd been harboring. And you were good friends, so he wasn't sure why he couldn't summon the nerve to move his feet from where they were cemented on the tiled floor.

"James?" you call, looking up at him with a quirked eyebrow. "You're lurking again."

It was a little joke between the team, that Bucky just lurked around the entrances of rooms, crowds of people, any social gathering really. The first time Sam made the joke in front of you, you made it your job to not let Bucky lurk.

Sometimes by standing with him. Sometimes by grabbing his hand and bringing him into the conversation.

He feels a slight blush warm his cheeks at the thought of how kind and warm you were to him. His crush was clearly getting out of hand, which was another reason he just needed to gather the nerve to just ask you out.

He rolls his eyes, a humorous scoff leaving his mouth, "I'm not lurking."

"Don't worry, you didn't miss anyone's birthday."

He sighs in relief, "Good, Sam gave me so much shit last time."

You chuckle, finishing the bow on the gift box. "So what's wrong?"

"What?"

"You only lurk when something's bothering you."

"I wasn't- " he stops mid-sentence, figuring that now was as good of a time as any. "I actually just - I wanted to know if you had plans today? I thought maybe we could - Like the two of us. Together. Did I say today already? I feel like I should say today-"

'James," you try interjecting as he continues stringing half phrases together, "James, are you okay?"

"I just wanted to know if you wanted to maybe, kind of go out with me. Today," he finally blurts out all in one breath.

"Oh," you slightly frown. It doesn't take any time for Bucky to process the frown. Rejection. He can feel it in the very pit of his stomach. In the awful tugging sensation in his chest. "I mean - I'd love to, but I actually have plans today."

"Plans," Bucky repeats, mostly convinced that you're just trying to let him down easy. He wouldn't press it any further. He knew you didn't owe him anything. And still, that acknowledgement didn't make it hurt any less. "Right."

"Why don't you come with me?" you abruptly offer, wanting to do anything to get the dejected look off of Bucky's face.

"You want me to come with you?" he dumbly repeats. His eyebrows furrow. A rejection he could process. An invitation seemed to make all gears grind to a halt. "Like right now?"

"Yeah! Come with me!"

"Uh.." he lilts, hoping his brain will catch up with his mouth. He clears his throat and slightly shakes his head, "You sure? I don't want to impose or anything. You don't have to-"

"I want you to come," you assure him. "It'll be fun. Promise."

"So where exactly are we going?" Bucky asks as you both finally exit the subway station.

He vaguely recognizes the streets and some of the buildings, but nothing gives him any clue of where you're taking him.

"We are going to an orphanage," you finally reply, holding a tray of cookies in your hand as Bucky hold onto the gift box. "One of the last ones in New York actually."

Bucky quirks an eyebrow, "We're going to an orphanage?"

You chuckle and take his free hand and guide him in the correct direction, "It's actually a lot of fun. The kids are all really great. I usually spend the day there, playing with them, talking to the older ones."

"And why are we going to an orphanage?" he prods.

"Well, today I'm really just going to see one kid for his birthday," you explain, gesturing to the box tucked in the crook of Bucky's elbow. "But I usually go a few times a month. Mostly when I have the time. Nick keeps us pretty busy."

It takes everything in Bucky to play it cool when you don't drop his hand as you walk down the distantly familiar streets of Brooklyn. It was already going so much better than he thought it would've. You're holding his hand as you walk the streets of his old borough - it was already shaping up to be a pretty good day for him.

"So you're telling me that on the few days we have off, you haul yourself from all the way upstate down to down Brooklyn to babysit kids all day - all of your own good will?"

You dismissively wave your hand, fighting the shy smile on your face, "It's not that big of a deal."

"Trust me, it's more than the rest of us do."

"Don't you go the VA to hang out with retired veterans with Sam and Steve?" you point out.

"Yeah, but that's not so much charity, just hanging out with people my age," Bucky jokes.

"So what do you call hanging out with me?" you ask as you finally reach your destination.

A date, he thinks to himself. A date, he tries to verbalize.

By the time his mouth catches up to his brain, you're gesturing to the building at the very corner of the street. There's a look of slight disappointment on your face when Bucky doesn't answer your question, but you shake it away. "That's our stop."

"This is it?" Bucky asks, stopped in front of the building.

The old brick building has to be at least as old as Bucky. Cracks and crumbling bricks line the exterior. The red brick color has now faded into a grayish beige. Definitely underfunded. Most certainly dilapidated and in need of some major repairs.

"I know," you frown, a little disappointed by Bucky's reaction. "But they do what they can with what they have."

"I didn't mean..." he rushes out. "I think it's great, what you're doing."

You turn to him with a warm smile, "Thanks."

Without another word, you both make your way inside. You approach the front desk with a smile. You don't even have to wait a moment before one of the staff calls your name with an exuberant beam. "I'm so glad you could make it today!"

"I wouldn't have missed it for the world," you easily reply.

"And who's this?"

"This is my friend and colleague, James," you say, gesturing to Bucky.

Bucky has to fight the visceral urge to frown at the descriptors: friend and colleague. "Just Bucky is fine."

"A fellow Avenger," the staff member commends, shaking Bucky's hand. "I'm sure the kids will love you."

"You're back," an unfamiliar little boy exclaims, barreling out from the large, almost obscenely empty playroom just off to the side.

The staff member chuckles with a warm smile. She ruffles the hair on top of the little boy's head as she tells you, "Jake hasn't stopped asking when you were coming back."

"Sorry, buddy, duty calls," you explain.

"You said duty," Jake snickers with a toothy grin.

"How's my favorite guy?" you ask the little boy. Before he answers, your eyes quickly flicker over your shoulder to Bucky, "No offense."

Even as your attention shifts away from Bucky and onto the little boy, Bucky can't help the fluttering sensation that floats around the pit of his stomach at the mere thought of being your favorite guy, or at least, favorite non-child guy.

And it was only then that the excitement lighting up the boy's face fades as he finally bothers to notice Bucky standing behind you.

Jake's face drops, and though you'd never seen a child's mouth purse in distaste before, that was really the only way to describe Jake's reaction to Bucky.

"Jake, this is Bucky." You gesture to Bucky, still standing beside you. "Can you say hi?"

Jake rolls his eyes, grumbling under his breath, "Hi."

"And we brought you something," you quickly add, diverting the attention away from the awkward exchange, "Happy birthday!"

"You remembered?" the little boy gleams.

"Of course I remembered! It's not every day you turn 8 years old!" you gleefully exclaim, handing the little boy the gift box. "Hey, why don't you go show Bucky your other cars? I think he'd really like them."

The kid sighs, his shoulders slumping like he'd just been sent to do his least favorite chore, "Fine."

As Jake begrudgingly drags his feet back over to the open playroom with Bucky following him, Bucky shoots you an anxious glance over his shoulder. You wave your hand, reassuringly nodding and ushering him to follow the little boy.

Watching from your peripheral as they take a seat in front of Jake's little toy cubby, you turn to the staff member with a warm smile. "And these are actually for you - and the other staff, of course," you say, handing her the large tray of cookies that you'd baked the night before.

"You're too kind," the staff member, Allison, compliments.

"Anything to help," you offer. "How's everyone been?"

"Excited since they found out you were coming. Practically bouncing off the walls," she chuckles. "Jake's had a bit of a rough time, so we're all just happy to see him happy."

You remorsefully sigh. The little boy Allison was referring to was one of their older kids. Even at a mere 8 years old, he was too old for most couples to seriously consider adopting. The last time you were here, you'd heard of a couple that was halfway through the process of adopting the little boy. Your heart broke when you got the call that he would be celebrating yet another birthday here. "The adoption fell through?"

"They wanted a baby," she sadly explains with a shrug that tells you this situation is one she knows all too well. "There was nothing we could do."

"I'm so sorry."

Allison gently pats the top of your hand, "You really do make their day. I can't thank you enough."

"Any time, just let me know if you need anything else," you offer once more. "I'll do what I can."

And while you finish your conversation with the gentle staff member, Bucky remains awkwardly seated in the seat that was much too small for a fully frown adult, let alone a super soldier. The silence between the child and Bucky made it all the more uncomfortable.

"I don't like you," Jake states out of the blue, finally breaking the silence.

Bucky immediately tears his eyes away from you and back to the kid, "What?"

"I don't like you," Jake easily repeats, pulling out several of his toy cars from his cubby.

Bucky's mind immediately jumps to the Winter Soldier reasoning - a lot of people didn't like him because of that. "Why?"

"I'm her favorite guy. Not you," Jake coldly declares.

A slight smile tugs at the corner of Bucky's mouth. He leans in a little closer to Jake, his elbows coming to rest on the play table. "I see what's happening here, does someone maybe have a little crush?"

"Yeah, you," Jake pointedly scoffs.

Though Bucky knows he's talking to a kid, an incredibly jealous child that doesn't know any better, he sputters, "I - I do not have a crush."

"And you're a liar too," Jake mutters under his breath.

"That was not very nice," Bucky admonishes.

"Lying isn't very nice either, Ducky."

"Bucky," Bucky corrects.

"Whatever you say, Ducky," Jake flippantly remarks.

"Bu-cky," Bucky emphasizes.

"Du-cky," Jake cheekily repeats.

"Everything okay over here?" you ask, suddenly beside their little table.

Bucky plasters a wide grin on his face. "Just great."

"Well, then, we should probably get a move on," you gently usher Bucky and Jake from the table. "I was thinking-"

Bucky nods along as you continue giving some suggestions on what birthday activities you three could partake in. But as Bucky stands, Jake kicks a toy car in front of Bucky's path.

And while Bucky would consider himself a fairly agile person, he didn't really think he had a reason to be totally on guard in a children's playroom. He immediately knows he was wrong as he unknowingly steps onto the toy car kicked in his path. His foot slips on the toy car and out from underneath him and sends him flat on his back with a pained huff.

"Oh my God," you exclaim, immediately checking on Bucky. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, you okay, Ducky?" Jake asks, hovering over Bucky's fallen frame.

"Just great," Bucky wheezes, more from embarrassment than any true injury, squeezing his eyes as he imagines what the rest of the day has in store for him.

And though his day started out better than he could've imagined, it was morphing the most agonizing day he could've imagined.

Your first stop of the day was a little ice cream stop just around the corner. And for the shortest of moments, Bucky starts to think that maybe things wouldn't be so bad, that maybe the incident in the playroom was really just an accident. He even hoped that maybe he could win the kid over somehow. It was clear coming here meant a lot to you, and that meant it meant a lot to him too.

But his hopes were dashed the moment you three all had your cones of ice cream in hand. As you grab a handful of napkins for the table, Bucky starts walking over to one of the empty tables in the ice cream shop, blissfully unaware of the scheming little boy walking on his heels.

Just as he's about to take a seat, he feels a dull shove into his back paired with a distinct crunching sound. Bucky gasps, whirling around with wide eyes to find the little boy standing behind him with an over dramatically apologetic expression.

"Whoops," Jake shrugs, the remnants of the smashed ice cream cone still in his hand. You sharply inhale from at the sight of the ice cream cone smashed into Bucky's favorite leather jacket. "I'm sorry, Ducky. Didn't mean to."

Bucky clears his throat, doing his very best to school his expression. He grits his teeth, pulling a pained smile onto his face, "It's fine. No harm, no foul."

"But that's your favorite jacket," you point out. "Here let me help you."

Bucky's eyes narrow as Jake deviously smirks at him the second your back is turned. You take the napkins in your hand and attempt to clean off the little shards of waffle cone and cold liquid now dropping down his jacket. He's a kid, Bucky keeps reminding himself, just a kid.

Once the mess is mostly cleaned off of Bucky's jacket, you figure now would probably be a good time to shift gears for the day.

"Who's up for the park?" you eagerly suggest, the only one of your small group still wearing a smile.

After that, Bucky just thanks his lucky stars that the walk to the park just a couple blocks down goes without incident. Although, he's pretty sure it's you holding the little boy's hand down the street that appeases Jake rather than Jake having any actual mercy for Bucky.

When you three get to the park, you take off with Jake, playing on the jungle gym, pushing him on the swings, sliding down the slides as Bucky stands off to the side.

And though it'd sort of been a terrible day, Bucky can't help but smile and chuckle to himself as he watches you playing totally carefree. It was a nice reprieve from what was a chaotic and draining way of living.

With a flushed face and wide smile, you make your way back to the park bench beside Bucky almost an hour later.

You immediately notice Bucky standing there off to the side. You pat the park bench beside you, gesturing for him to join you. A smile tugs at the corner of Bucky's mouth as he takes a seat beside you. He sighs in relief as Jake running around the playground finally gives him time to relax ever so slightly.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, you shyly turn to Bucky, "I just wanted to say that I know this probably wasn't what you had in mind for today, and I know that these kids are really good at pushing people's buttons. They're just not used to people trying. It sorta freaks them out, so they act out. I guess I just wanted to say thank you for being patient. It means a lot to me."

You reach for his hand, lacing your fingers with his. Bucky smiles to himself, relishing in the warm, comforting feeling radiating from your hand.

It's only a few minutes later as Jake comes barreling over to the park bench. His eyes flicker to you and Bucky's intertwined hands. "Ducky! Come play with me!"

"Me?" Bucky doubtfully gestures to himself.

Jake excitedly nods, gesturing for Bucky to join him by the swing set.

"Okay..." Bucky hesitantly agrees, unwillingly dropping your hand as he stands up off of the park bench. "Sure."

A sense of unease washes over Bucky as Jake settles on the swing set with Bucky rounding the set to push him on the swings. Just then, Jake looks over his shoulder at Bucky with a devious smirk and a calculating glint in his eye.

Before Bucky can even process the look, Jake launches himself off the swing, landing on his knees in the wood chips that coat the floor. Immediately, Jake lets out a bloodcurdling bellow that makes all parents and guardians snap their heads in Jake's direction.

Bucky gasps, his jaw dropped in shock. And the situation only worsens itself when Jake loudly cries, "He pushed me!"

"What?!" Bucky frantically shouts.

"He pushed me," Jake screams again, the tears flowing down his cheeks only adding to Jake's performance. You rush over to the kid, dropping to the floor beside him. And to really seal Bucky's fate, Jake sobs into your shoulder, "He pushed me!"

"What? I didn't - I only pushed you on the swings because you asked me to! I didn't actually push you!" Bucky frantically stammers.

You gently shake your head, resting your hand on Bucky's shoulder to let him know that you believe him in the midst of all the chaos.

"Aww..." you coo, gently prying Jake out of the crook of your neck and shoulder. "Sweetie, I'm sure James didn't mean to."

"He said he hates me!" Jake wails.

"What?" Bucky squawks. He sputters, "I- No -I never said that - I - what?"

"Okay, okay," you gently interject. "I'm sure that no one hates anyone else. Let's just take all take a breath."

"Ducky said that you weren't going to see me anymore! That you're only going to see him."

"I never - He's only lying because he knows I like you!" Bucky blurts out.

"What?" you ask, eyes blown wide.

"What?" Bucky repeats, the realization of what he just said hitting him like a ton of bricks.

"You just said-" you have to stop mid-sentence as you recall the injured child seated before you. "Okay, let's calm down and get you cleaned up, okay?"

The walk back to the orphanage thankfully isn't very far, and Jake doesn't utter a single complaint about walking - though, once again, Bucky figures that has a lot to do with the kid walking hand-in-hand with you.

When you've finally reached the orphanage, Bucky falters, stopping just short of the entrance. You look back at him with a curious, worried expression, "You okay?"

With a furrowed look on his face, Bucky nods several times, "Yeah, yeah, I'll just wait out here. You go ahead."

"James," you apologetically sigh.

"Seriously, I'm okay," Bucky reassures you. "I'll wait for you right here."

"Okay," you reluctantly agree.

It's only ten minutes later that you finish applying the last bandage to Jake's mildly scrapped knee in the nurse's office.

With all the excitement finally died down, there's a tense silence in the room. Jake stares down at his hands with a dramatic pout as you toss the last bandage wrapper in the garbage.

"Jake," you begin with a knowing tone, hands on your hips in disproval. "Did James actually push you?"

He refuses to meet your eyes, the same dramatic pout still on his face.

"Jake," you prod.

'No," he admits with a sigh.

"So why'd you lie?" you gently question. "You could've gotten him in a lot of trouble. And you made him feel pretty bad back there too."

"Why do you care so much about him?" Jake grumbles.

You take a seat on the table beside the little boy. You lean over, nudging your shoulder with his, "Jake, what's going on?"

"Do you like him more than me?"

"What?" you softly chuckle, a little unsure of how to answer the unexpected question. You knew Jake, more than any of the other kids, had grown attached to you, and you certainly didn't want to hurt his feelings. "Of course not. I like you guys in different ways. It doesn't change that you're my favorite little guy."

"Yes, it does!" he angrily accuses. "And you're gonna like him more than me and then you're gonna stop seeing me."

"What are you talking about? Who said I'm going to stop seeing you?"

"Everyone stops seeing the big kids," he bitterly mutters, crossing his arms in a huff.

It all finally clicks into place for you. "Sweetie, is this about the adoption? Listen, I'm so sorry that happened, but you're going to find a family-"

"No, I'm not," he interjects. "I'm 8 now. No one's gonna want me anymore."

"Sweetie, that's not true," you try to assure him.

"Yes, it is!" he insists. "No one wants a big kid."

"You are going to find a family that'll love you so much-"

He cuts you off once more with a pleading expression and frantic excitement coating each of his words. In the little boy's desperation, you see tears beginning to well in his eyes, "Why don't you take me home? It'll be so much fun. When you're not doing your duties, we can play all the time!"

"Buddy," you sigh, crouching down to meet Jake's now teary eyes. "We've talked about this before. You know I can't."

"But why not?" he pleads. "I promise I'll be good! I'll even be nice to Ducky if you want."

"It's not about you being good."

"Then why not?"

"Well, for one, my job is dangerous, I'd never forgive myself if you got hurt," you calmly explain, even as your throat begins tightening at the discussion. It was a discussion you had before. Several times already. Truth be told, you'd take all the kids home if you could. But you knew better than most that these kids all deserved a real family. Someone who would be there more than once every few weeks. "And because it wouldn't be fair to make you wait for me all the time. But mostly because you deserve a real family. A family that can look after you, love you, that doesn't pop in and out of your life. And I know it feels like that it won't happen, but it will, you're going to find a family that loves you so much, and they're going to give you so much more than I could. And when that happens, you're not even gonna remember little ol' me."

"I think I'm always going to remember you," he whimpers, throwing his arms around you in a tight embrace.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," you tell Jake.

He peels himself out of your embrace to meet your eye, "Promise?"

"Promise."

You nod, clenching your jaw tightly through a warm smile. You reassuringly run your hands over the kid's arms as you stand from your crouching position. "'Happy Birthday."

He throws his arms around your midsection, squeezing you as tightly as he possibly can.

You gently smooth the hair on the back of his head as melancholy tugs at your heart. Your eyes squeeze shut as you attempt to keep the emotions at bay, or at the very least off your face.

By the time you manage to leave, Bucky awaits you outside, leaning against the old brick building in the cool early spring air.

Bucky jolts up at the sound of the door swinging open then shut. He's not sure what he expected when you walked outside, but it certainly wasn't the distressed, heartbroken look on your face. He watches as your eyes squeeze shut with a deep inhale followed by a shaky exhale as the cold breeze hits your warmed face.

Though he's not one for displays of affection, Bucky envelopes you in a secure embrace. He murmurs into the top of your head, "You okay?"

You shake your head, allowing the tears welled in your eyes to finally spill down your cheeks. "Just wish I could do more."

"You do plenty," Bucky offers.

"Sorry," you sniffle, pulling away from Bucky's embrace. You wipe the stray tears on your cheek, "It's just a sensitive subject. Probably an orphan thing."

"It's not," Bucky retorts. "It's because you have a big heart - because you care."

You weakly smile up at him, "Thanks."

"You want to talk about it?"

"Are you asking me if I want to talk about feelings?"

He awkwardly chuckles, "Yeah, first time for everything, I guess."

"I don't really want to talk about it."

"Okay."

"I care about you too. I hope you know that," you unexpectedly offer.

Bucky's hear almost stops right then and there. His throat constricts as a goofy smile plants itself on his face. "Really?"

"Of course I do," you chortle.

Bucky clears his throat, a hopeful expression lighting up his face, "Do you - you happen to have plans in about seven weeks from now?"

You look down at your wrist, no watch in sight, "I've got a little time today."

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