#super interesting results btw!

[kokodrawings]

Remember that Kakashi drawing I did ages ago where ANBU members wear masks from Japanese folklore? Well, I needed a Minato version in my life so I sketched it this morning 💖

[revengesworn]

OKAY SO I'M GONNA GO AHEAD AND SHARE SOME DRAKEN HEADCANONS, mostly about his flaws since we didn't see that much in canon. under the cut for length. keep in mind that most of this is not actually implied in canon, just stuff i thought would be interesting and may end up scrapping/changing in the future.

in terms of actual canon moments that imply his flaws, i could only think of a few things: his initial fight with mikey over pah and how it got out of control, the moment after emma's death where he took everything out on mikey, and maybe (??) the fact that he didn't share his feelings/objections on toman's dissolution and accepted it while secretly being conflicted, too. i've tried to draw upon these moments when making stuff up, but if anyone has any different ideas to mine based upon these moments for flaws draken might have, PLEASE SHARE THEM WITH ME I WOULD LOVE YOU AND MARRY YOU INSTANTLY AFHJSDK

anyway. so i thought one flaw of draken's that'd be interesting is also a strength of his - his strong moral compass and high expectations of others. this is also a good thing for obvious reasons, but in contrast means that he expects people to react to trauma in the "right way" and thinks on some level that they have an obligation to do so.

now... it's actually more complicated than that. that's what he TELLS himself he believes, but in reality, when he finally acknowledges to himself that mikey has become a "bad person" (more on that later) - he can't abandon him. he decides to try and save him, going against his own principles which state he should be writing mikey off as a "lost cause", because mikey is ultimately more important to him than those principles.

however... i do think those high expectations caused issues in a different kind of way. specifically, while he subconsciously noticed mikey's pain and his "darker side" even before the kanto incident occurred, he somewhat denied the full extent of it because he didn't want to have to face that conflict between his principles and his love of mikey. maybe he was afraid of what the end result would be. it's kind of like... on some level, he didn't want to lose that "perfect" image he had of mikey, because then he'd be forced to either abandon his friend OR completely re-evaluate his worldview.

of course, it's not like he thought mikey was perfect. he was willing and able to call him out when needed, and noticed when he did things wrong, but kind of downplayed the seriousness of it to himself a little?? a lot of this is all subconscious, though. he TOLD himself the reason he didn't push harder about mikey's mental state is because mikey didn't want the help, or just needed support in the form of being treated like normal, or that he was healing on his own time. but deep down, it might've been because he feared that if he acknowledged what mikey was hiding, he'd end up abandoning him.

i guess in that way, his flaw is more "not wanting to acknowledge his own feelings" than "high expectations of others." they're both an issue to an extent, but for the latter, when it comes into conflict with his care for his friends, the latter ultimately wins out.

i also want to compare him to the others in toman a bit and my headcanons for them... so. baji i think was another character who noticed what was up with mikey and didn't push, but for him i think it was less not wanting to acknowledge his own feelings on it, but more that he felt he didn't have the right to interfere after what happened with shinichiro. mitsuya... probably didn't notice as much as draken or mikey, and might even have handled things better then them if he had - but by the time he did notice mikey's darkness, mikey already seemed too far gone. pah didn't notice because he's not the smartest, but if he did he would've talked to mikey about it because he's BEST BOY OKAY LISTEN I'M RIGHT!! #pahbestboy

but back to draken. some unrelated to the whole mikey fiasco flaws are generally his tendency to keep his feelings to himself. not telling emma how he felt, for instance - he tends to assume people just "know" how he feels already. also, he tends to keep in his more negative feelings/feelings he thinks he shouldn't have, and that leads to them spilling over when they become too much (see him @ mikey after emma's death.)

finally, i do think draken did on a small level rely on mikey to an extent. he saw him as a "strong leader" and didn't want to lose that image of him... but that's not really a huge thing for him in comparison to his other reasoning for not pushing with mikey, if that makes sense?? like he still considered mikey more important than that.

[hana-no-seiiki]

This is generally such a stupid ask but I feel like it would be.. Chaotic? At the very least amusing

Anyways

Batfam x Nicole from Class of 09! Reader

Do what you want (etc make it romantic or platonic, doesn't matter)

Just the batfam (yandere ofc) dealing with a chick who loves to ruin lives for her amusement and sometimes for revenge

Istg she'll just bully them at any chance she gets

~ 🕒

I just binged watched Class of ‘09 and all its endings/choices for you non. I don’t think I can fully depict how brash wittiness of Nicole is but here I go! (I am so traumatized) Didn’t know that’s where “No I’m flirting with you flash me a tiddy bitch” came from no wonder Nicole sounded so familiar.

btw if people are interested in watching class of ‘09 just be warned it’s basically a VN version of Degrees of Lewdity but the mc is actually a minor (without the sex/r*pe mechanic though) and it depicts a lot of just… pedophilia, necrophilia, assault, su*c*de, school shootings, racism??, BE WARNED.

The following content above ^ might be mentioned in this fic but in passing. MASSIVE DDDNE WARNING.

I don’t think I’m comfortable writing stepcest/incest in this blog so despite how perfect it’ll be to make Bruce your step father considering Nicole’s mom has divorced like a hundred times…maybe ask me in @yoru-no-seiiki and I’ll be down for it.

THIS IS ADMITTEDLY TIM + DAMIAN CENTRIC

“Do you even care? Do the results of your actions mean anything to you?”

“Yeah when they affect me, sure.”

You were a bitch. There was no denying that. But you were a pretty one. One many would grovel to be under.

You were used to this, ever since you reached a certain age people just looked at you different, acted in a way that… made you think they were boring, utter losers.

One of those losers was Tim’s friend.

Like all the stupid, horny men in your life, you hung out with him once and he spilled everything there was that you could share.

To the entire campus, the internet, even the news.

And because you were pretty, you got off scot-free. Those morons didn’t even check to see what you’ve been doing the past decade.

Except Tim. Timothy Drake. You only knew that his dad was super rich, and as much as it was tempting to sink your teeth into him and get a load of that daddy’s money, you knew better.

He apparently didn’t.

You see there was one thing every batfam member couldn’t resist. Well, two things. The first was saving people.

The second? Fixing them.

When Tim first approached you he was confused.

You were quite the popular figure in Uni. He heard the rumors. He fully expected to be cussed out to hell and back.

But you were… nice. Agreeable at most really. Brash was an understatement. But you were witty. Your comebacks were swift and deadly.

The more he studied stalked you the more he realized that the two of you were the same.

Two bright people stuck with dull idiots.

And Tim? Tim interested you enough for you to not to completely drop him after the first week. That and most of your bullying probably wouldn’t bode well towards the son of a billionaire.

He was smart, even more so than that nerd friend of his that you destroyed the life of. But more importantly he actually had some tact, and was surprisingly packed underneath all those baggy clothes.

Tim had to admit he was kind of forgetting his entire purpose of ‘fixing’ you.

Until you manipulated yet another guy into jumping off a school building for you. Thankfully he survived because Red Robin happened to be there to apprehend him but still!

And what’s worse, you met up with him afterwards talking about how that Red Robin ruined all your plans of crippling a r*pist.

Wait, a r*pist?

Tim looks through your past victims once more. Admitted he only did a surface level job of studying them in comparison to his PhD level knowledge on everything about you specifically.

And…you were right. Every guy you’ve harassed was being pushy with you in the first place, if not people with authority a decade older.

Fuck.

Well now he had no excuse. He had to make you his.

Meanwhile…

“Ugh, Damian. Can’t you tell your brother to like, fuck off or something? I can feel my social standing totally plummet every second he’s around. How do you handle being related to him?” You groaned. You weren’t fucking stupid. You knew Tim was stalking and drooling all over you lately. You hated it. He was ruining your chances with your new victims.

“Jeez [Y/N]. And here I thought you were like, into him.” Jessica, your actual crush and best friend, commented as she filed her nails.

You being the emotional stunted adult you were only replied with an (admittedly softer) “Eat a sandpaper cock and die bitch.”

Damian stared at you, the words die before they crawl out of his mouth. His hands clenched underneath the lunch tables.

Guess he had another thing to steal from his brother this time.

[exeggcute]

well it's been almost six months which I think is long enough to break my posting embargo, so, uh: guess what! I got liposuction lol. specifically hip/thigh lipo to quell some pretty wicked dysphoria that stemmed from having such a feminine silhouette… and I have to say I'm really, really pleased with the results.

tbh my initial plan was to keep things under wraps for good which is why I haven't said anything about it yet (and even as I'm typing this up I keep debating whether to post it or trash it)—partly because I was/am worried people might Act Weird about it and partly because I get a little embarrassed talking about bodygendershit in general. but here we are. one reason I do feel compelled to finally share, other than being super happy about how everything went, is that I haven't encountered a lot of discussions about body sculpting as a possible avenue of gender-affirming care (although, to be fair, maybe I just haven't been looking in the right places) and I figured at least one person out there would be interested to learn about what I did and where I've ended up so far.

anyway. pics/details under the cut—nothing even remotely risqué (or yucky), I just know that body image stuff is fraught + not everyone is eager to hear surgery talk.

to be precise: I got tumescent liposuction of the inner and outer thigh, plus this ultrasound thing to help the skin shrink. a different surgeon who I consulted (but ultimately did not go with for a number of reasons) said that even if I got the results I wanted from lipo, which he claimed was unlikely, the affected skin would look loose/baggy/weird forever... and that surgeon was wrong on both counts lol. my elasticity was great bitch!!!!

they didn't take out that much fat overall, only eight pounds or so, but it's way more about the Where than the How Much. my actual surgeon (who kicks ass btw) said lipo isn't that great for weight loss per se, and what it's really good for is sculpting targeted areas—so basically exactly what I did. six months post-op I actually weigh about the same as what I did pre-op, but the distribution has held steady; more weight goes to my stomach now and less, proportionally, goes to my hips since there are fewer fat cells in that area now. so my silhouette retains its new shape!

the overall change is admittedly on the subtle side, since I'm pretty short and have wide hip bones (and you can't change your literal skeleton) but it's still gone a looooooong way. the main thing I requested from my surgeon was "I want to fit in men's pants" and boy did he deliver.

also a good place to note that if you're in the las vegas area looking for a plastic and/or cosmetic surgeon—this guy is board-certified in both btw—then I absolutely have the guy for you. feel free to DM me for details. lipo is clearly his specialty (and it shows!) but he also does a lot of breast revisions/mastopexy (i.e., fixing implants that other surgeons did a bad job putting in), regular implants, and face work (particularly facial feminization surgery). one thing that sold me on this guy was an enthusiastic yelp review from a local stripper who said he hid the incisions for her breast lift in her armpits so none of her clients would notice that she'd had work done... a true master of his craft

okay you've scrolled enough so I'll give you what you're here for lol. I don't have many pre-op pics because I was obviously unhappy with how I looked and was not taking full-body selfies on a regular basis, but here's a few I took ~2 weeks beforehand:

these super thin men's joggers were my go-to dysphoria pants, to the point where I bought five pairs in different colors, but now they're so baggy on me that they have the opposite effect and make it look like I have wider hips than I do. so I retired them from my wardrobe...

...except not immediately because I had to wear compression garments 24/7 for the first three months post-op and these joggers were just loose enough to comfortably wear a medical girdle underneath them at all times, 110° degree temperatures be damned. (not that I was going out much for the first month since I was soooooooooooo fucking bruised and sore lol.) here's a few post-op pics in the same style pants:

(first pic is less than 24 hours post-op, about to go to my follow-up appointment, looking greasy as fuck because I wasn't allowed to shower yet; second pic two days post-op and also post-shower, thankfully; third pic is about a month post-op.)

so, like, CLEAR improvement already. I will not be posting pictures of my black-and-blue-and-swollen-all-over legs but considering how puffy I was from getting internally pummeled with a cannula it's wild that I still saw improvement literally as soon as I came home.

recovery was obviously not a blast in the moment but I got off easy, all things considered. I was supposed to get drains put in and was Not looking forward to that at all lol. the first thing I asked when I woke up after surgery was "how many drains?" because they weren't sure if I'd end up needing two or four, but it turned out the answer was zero. no drains!!!

I did have to lie with my feet elevated for the first two weeks straight, and had major bruising that receded over the first month (you could barely see my regular skin underneath all the mottled spots), but little to no nerve pain, no weird complications, and I was more or less back to normal after six weeks. also noelle took very very good care of me and was brave about injecting me with blood thinners so I wouldn't get clots and die :)

when I went into it I was fully expecting to get huge vertical scars up and down the sides of my legs (and had made peace with it!) but instead I wound up with four tiny incisions like this, each less than two inches long:

what's totally crazy is that the scars are basically Gone now. like even when I'm trying to find them I struggle to locate the ones in the front. I joked to noelle that if someone did an autopsy on me they might not figure out that I'd had cosmetic surgery, especially since the skin on my thighs is back to its normal color and texture. (in this scenario I like to imagine that it's dana scully giving me the autopsy and I'm in an x-files plot where instead of regular lipo I got alien lipo and mulder figures it out purely by accident.)

with lipo it can take up to a year to see the full results but I already feel so much fucking better in my body that seeing old pre-op pics throws me for a loop. and I can absolutely wear men's pants now—pants for short and stocky men, to be fair, but actual regular men's pants and not exclusively Pants For Men With Huge Butts And Legs. which is the only style I could even hope to fit in before. and even then it was a stretch.

big pic dump of shitty mirror selfies taken over the last few months:

:)

(also I really debated sharing this one but I already included it in the yelp review I left my surgeon so fuck it: here's a tasteful before-and-after in my undies where you can see my bare legs for easier comparison. left pic is one week pre-op, right pic is about five months post-op. including it as a link instead of embedding it in the post in case your boss happens to be reading over your shoulder at this very moment. also this is the one and only time you will ever see me stripped down on tumblr dot com so don't get used to it lol.)

[dear-ao3]

Can I ask for a translation on what happened in Vegas?

what didnt happen in vegas!

-carlos sainz ran over a drain cover that was not welded down 9 minutes into the first practice session. it ripped a hole through his car basically (he narrowly avoided getting royally and permanently fucked up by it) and he got a 10 place grid penalty for fixing said car

-toto wolff, the mercedes team principle, said very emphatically that carlos deserved this penalty. carlos did not in fact deserve this penalty because it was not remotely his fault.

-probably out of spite, carlos managed to finish the race above both mercedes cars

-back to practice 1, it was redflagged 9 minutes in after he crashed and it took nearly 7.5 hours for them to fix the track because they had to check all the other drain covers

-practice was already late to begin with and reportedly at 1am ish they kicked all the fans out who had bought tickets because it was "too late"

-tickets btw were over 1k USD

-practice two started sometime around 2am and didnt finish until nearly 4am

-yes, people were driving cars at over 200mph at 2 in the morning, jetlagged to hell and back. idc if you're a professional, that sounds dangerous

-the announcers were descending into madness the whole time and during practice two i think tried to talk about oceans 11 but fucked it up

-there was also the sphere. the sphere was relatively unhinged.

-the drivers didnt get back to their hotels until after the sun rose that day. and they had to race again that night

-oh also it was fucking freezing and when its freezing the cars don't work cause the tires don't warm up and the brakes don't warm up

-tires also warm up best on corners, high speed ones. the vegas track had mostly all low speed corners and really long straights. not ideal

-the pit lane exit was also smack in the middle of a really tight turn. which they would be exiting onto on cold tires with cold brakes.

-also the track looked like an upside down pig

-practice three was normal until the very end when alex albon crashed into the wall. no one was allowed to do practice starts because the session was red flagged and not resumed.

-the most notable thing to happen at qualifying was that both williams cars (which are basically tractors) managed to place p5 and p6 on the grid. especially interesting considering that logan sergeant has placed dead last in qualifying for the last several races.

-also both mclarens were at the bottom. this is not super relevant or particularly interesting but i was upset about it.

-ferrari went p1 (charles leclerc) and p2 (carlos sainz), but sainz had a 10 place grid penalty for fixing his car that had a literal hole through the bottom, so he started p12.

-weirdly, sir lewis hamilton and checo perez also started pretty far down the grid.

-anyway onto the race.

-there were so many safety cars. literally on the first lap the whole back half of the grid rammed into each other.

-then! terrifyingly! lando norris ran over a bump in the track on lap 3 or 4 i don't remember and spun several times before ramming into the wall. he sounded not ok on his radio but he got out of the car. eventually they ended up taking him to the hospital, he is quite fine but it was still a terrible crash

-his teammate, oscar piastri, seemly got possessed by someone or something, possibly lando himself, because he had a very impressive race until mclaren decided to use the worst tire strategy possible (as in, pit him in the last 10 laps to change his tires when this was largely avoidable by all accounts). he could have ended on the podium potentially if they hadn't fucked him up. still, he ended 10th and got the fastest lap and as a result the track record.

-there was also another episode of French Civil War at alpine when they told esteban ocon to stay behind his teammate, pierre gasley, and he said no !! and passed him for funzies

-charles leclerc also got possessed by something, possibly his own bad luck, because he managed to finish p2 after overtaking checo perez on the last lap.

-the same checo perez whos f1 career has been basically dead for half the season

-also lance stroll weirdly slayed

-despite starting high on the grid, both williams managed to finish out of the points

-surprisingly there were only 3 DNFs and 0 red flags

-this is surprising because of all the tire and brake issues that people thought there would be

-unsurprisingly max verstappen won. what was surprising was that he sang viva las vegas over his radio afterwards, especially surprising considering that he spent the whole weekend shitting on the race, saying that the track was terrible, he hated it, and that the fans should burn the place down for getting kicked out on practice 1 day and only getting a voucher in response

-related to that, the fans sued f1 over getting kicked out

-someone thought it was a good idea to put max charles and checo in the back of a rolls and film them driving to the podium. it was incredibly memey.

-there was definitely more that happened but this is all i can remember right now

[wc-confessions]

Bluestar is genuinely one of the most interesting characters to analyze imo and I adore her super edition/her in the main books in general. She faces so much grievance and still ends up being a beloved leader. She wasn’t allowed to grieve in the ways she felt she needed to because they weren’t ‘correct’ ways to grieve (i.e. occupying your time working instead of 'laying around'). She was insulted by her own deputy for daring to lay around after her sister died. The one time in her life that she was selfish and chose to ignore everything for a single night she ended up facing the consequences for it and getting pregnant. She loved her kits and still gave up the only source of happiness in her life for a position she didn’t even want because she would rather deal with that life time of grief than let Thistleclaw get into power knowing he’d ruin the Clan. Sunstar would have preferred to have a grieving Bluefur as his deputy (KNOWING how she grieves because he’s had to talk her out of an episode of grief before) over her when she had kits (this isn’t a jab at Sunstar btw he's chill it’s just very interesting to bring up). Not to mention Tigerclaw (someone who she chose despite who his mentor was, despite Goosefeather freaking out over him, someone she put her entire trust in despite would’ve having an inherit bias against him) tried to kill her and it sent her into such a horrible spiral and resulted in her having a mental breakdown. Does it excuse her actions during this time of her life? Of course not, but I wish people would stop acting like her actions during a period in her life where she was very clearly mentally ill encompassed her entire character. She did bad things and that's the point. In a moment of clarity after she sacrificed herself to save Fireheart and the Clan she begged for forgiveness from her children while silently willing Fireheart to not urge them to forgive her because she knew it'd mean nothing then. Sorry for the long rant, she's one of my favorite characters

.

[tia-222]

okay so I don't really have a question for ya but I will tell you what I am doing in order to wake up in the void state tho

so what I am doing in order to wake up in the void state is by repeating the affs that is from your 'void state affs to master the void state' blog on repeat daily no matter what idgaf if the results shows up within the 3d or not bc guess what my desired results exists within the 4d/my imagination already anyways

am a affirm & a perist girly

that is the only thing that matters since well the 3d is not at all important only the 4d/your imagination does

remember my little lovely loa lovers

once you imagine it within your own head it's yours that's it

it haves literally no choice but to come to you as long as you continue to perist in the new story & never ever go back to the lame looking old story

always

because it sucks

just remember to always perist in the new story

than boom the work is all done you officially have all of your desires

don't give up love

if they succeeded at it than why can't we

also if I do ever make it to the void state I will let you & as well as this other person know @arisuworld

@arisuworld is helping me out with loa so I'm sure she will be a great help with my loa journey

also I'll be making my very own loa success story pretty soon I'm sure if I just continue on with the new story

just watch me fr have a glow up

am just so sick & tired of looking at other people's loa success story's & getting all jealous at their success story's

I think it's about time that I have my own & that it is my turn to make someone else extremely jealous

oh & btw one last thing before I log off

ignore all negative/intrusive thoughts when manifesting

it does not matter

seriously

that is just the ego talking

trying to just make you fail at achieving your own goal

I think I might of have also found my own way to ignore all of my negative/intrusive thoughts when it comes to manifesting & you know what that is super duper great

also you guys are free to check out my void state wishlist that is on my profile if interested

I wrote down all the things that i wish to manifest in the void state

anyways bye babe

I hope that you & everyone else have a good day/night

stay safe

Hiii angel ♡

Your ROUTINE is just amazing!! I love how you phased everything, seriously. But most definitely you are correct, persisting means you just putting your awareness on the 4D. The 3D doesn't matter at all, I know it's gets hard sometimes because the 3D is always in our faces😭, but we have our imagination. Anything that doesn't happen according to you, dismiss it immediately and start to imagine what could've happened instead. But sticking to your new story , you are creating an assumption. And yess, intrusive thoughts are your ego but remember you are pure awareness in an human form, simply let all thoughts pass.

And tysm for coming here and telling everyone your routine which is simply amazing <33, I love it sm. Also, @arisuworld is a wonderful and a helpful blog, I adore her blog sm.

[unironicallytes]

Mor'iargalthil: Some Garb & Lore

Mor'iargalthil is an imagined place in the northwest Grahtwood region during the Third Era, based off of ESO's established lore (which I have not played because I'm not super interested in playing a TES MMO, no shade tho).

The "av Mor'iargalthil" of Zath's name means "of/from an inhospitable grove" in Bosmeris (non-canon extension of canon language). Here he is in traditional Galthili garb, though he would have been much younger the last time he was there. He doesn't have antlers of his own like some Bosmer do btw, those are just sewn into his hood.

To make a long story shorter, Mor'iargalthil is a small clan of descendants from Gil-Var-Dell survivors who retreated to more isolated places. They're generally a dour and wary group. Galthili Bosmer observe the Green Pact, but are more entwined with neighboring Wood Orcs than other Valenwood Bosmer. This cultural exchange unexpectedly resulted in Galthili Bosmer incorporating Mauloch/Malacath into their pantheon alongside Y'ffre. Their traumatic history with Daedric Princes instilled a complicated mix of reverence and hatred, but Mauloch resides in a grey area and is an exception. His fables speak to them as people who feel they too were "consumed and twisted" by another force.

Here's some extra doodles and more clothing details under the cut.

Those aren't permanent tattoos, they're more akin to henna. Zath was born under the Serpent and it affects many aspects of his life, so he often adorns himself with the inauspicious sign.

Zath's hood is separate from the rest of the bow sleeve and can be attached to the beaded leather mantle instead.

Speaking of the hood, it has openings for the ears to keep that super cool merrish hearing unobstructed.

His thumb guard is made of mammal leather - I imagine most Bosmer use thumb-draw instead of finger-draw so that they can move around while keeping an arrow nocked.

These Bosmer use a lot of reptile parts for their leather and shells. Gators, turtles, etc., perhaps even the occasional Daedroth since regions of Tarlain Heights likely still have remnants of that influence.

The front half of the foot is exposed for tree-climbing, but the heel remains cushioned in soft leather. Bosmer unfortunately refuse to put those dogs away cause they gotta grip that tree bark.

As for the horn bow, I'm pretending Bosmer do some Special Stuff to make the horn more flexible, or it's just Magical Creature Materials(tm).

[genshinconfessions]

Same anon as the Makoto and Scara fic idea btw

This is an alternative idea to that one, in which Makoto sealed herself inside the electro gnosis without Ei's knowledge (as I'm like 90% sure if Ei did know she would not have let Miko just trade it away or let it out of her sight probably) and slowly regains her power from inside it, though she is completely unaware of everything going on around Tayvat which includes the passage of time

So basically everything essentially follows cannon for the Raidens until like 20 minutes before Traveler goes to fight him, which Makoto unconsciously decided then that she was well enough to take a physical form again... This results in Makoto suddenly appearing right in front of Scara, scaring the shit out of him as he thought she was Ei at first before realising that no, this woman who looks weirdly like him and Ei, is not in fact his mother???? Like Makoto's face is more kind looking then his or Ei's, her eyes and hair were a touch too light to be Ei along with all the other very subtle differences.

Meanwhile Makoto is half confused and half panicking on the inside cause why does this boy?? (Man??) Look so much like her? Does she somehow have a son? Or did she and Ei somehow get a younger brother???? (I hc that scara was unconsciously designed after Makoto and thus looks more like her then Ei, though literally noone other then Ei or Miko have noticed it. Also I find the idea of her panicking and not even considering that perhaps he is her nephew due her being disoriented and a bit confused about everything due to her essentially sleeping for centuries)

Scara ends up questioning her on where the hell she came from and why does she look like him, which leads to her revealing that she was inside the gnosis and that she is related(??) To him. The conversation then ends up with her questioning that is happening and why are they both standing within a robot?? Which of course, leads to Scara revealing that he is going to use it and the gnosis to achieve his birthright and become a god. Which actually leads to some both baffling and amusing things to happen over the course of the fic lol

(also unrelated hc, I think Makoto would enjoy sour food, not for any particular reason) (this is actually making me think of making a genshin character hc doc and a genshin nation hc doc,,,, hmm)

again, spoiler warnings for... the major points of the inazuma and sumeru archon quests?

.

.

.

first off i have to say, i agree with your headcanon of ei unconsciously designing scara to look like makoto! it Just Makes Sense.

but your idea is super interesting also :OO honestly i feel like someone needs to write these fics, i want to see them so badly!

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

Hey, I'd love a matchup for Castlevania, if you're up for it (was not the person who wrote you those ask anons btw, although I appreciate them clearing things up).

I’m a heterosexual cis woman, although I’m starting to suspect I’m on the asexual spectrum. So, I'd prefer a male matchup. Also not super sure I'd be down with polygamy.

I'm a premed student (no time for irl dating unfortunately 😭). I also work as a volunteer EMS on weekends. Outside of my school and work my hobbies are singing (musical theatre and classical mostly), theatre (backstage work as well as performing), skiing (the only sport I’m any good at) and TTRPGs (was this close to getting my group to play a Castlevania campaign 😔).

I’m also a big nerd about history, American comics, and folklore. I’ll rant for hours about my special interests if nobody stops me. I’d describe myself as ambiverted. I'm socially awkward, but also very loud and expressive. I’m a bit oblivious, I’ll admit lol, but I do my best. My MBTI is ESTJ, and while I doubt MBTI's accuracy, I agree I’m very Type A. When it comes to the things I’m good at, I’m a major perfectionist, but I’m proud of how hard I work. I think my greatest weakness is probably thoughtlessness, but my greatest strength is humility.  My giving love language is acts of service, and my receiving love language is quality time. I'm verbally affectionate towards friends but I freeze like a deer in headlights if somebody flirts with me. Also: I know appearance isn’t super important, but I think it’s important to know I’m only around 5’0 tall. As my friends say, "headpat size."

A/N: Okay for you my PreMed Student Anon (that’s amazing, congratulations by the way!)I have two potential matches in mind. You said you’re heterosexual and would prefer male results, so I chose two from that gender because I honestly couldn’t decide which would please you best. For you, I’m thinking either Dracula or Alucard would be your perfect romantic matchups! (It really does just come down to which man you’d like better: father or son, lol.) 

Dracula (Vlad Tepes), as terrifying as he may be when he decides to enact justice on the human population, is a very reserved and intellectual man. He’s introverted and devoted much of his life to learning about anything and everything from medicine to history to poetry. 

In this instance let’s pretend he’s either never met Lisa or he did meet and fall in love with Lisa but she either lived a full life and died of natural causes, or Dracula was able to overcome the anger and blame he held for humanity following her murder.

Dracula is a patient man. Being immortal means he understands that you must dedicate much of your time to your studies and your volunteer work. So long as the few moments you do get to spend with him are uninterrupted and meaningful, I believe he’d be understanding, and even supportive of your academic endeavors. He was more than happy to aid Lisa in her quest to learn more about biology, so I have no doubt he’d do similarly for you. Any questions you have, he’d gladly answer them. Any resource he has in his castle, any book or scroll, any record of any kind is yours to inspect. He has no doubts that you’re going to make a very accomplished professional one day, and he has every intention of doing whatever it takes to help you get there.

Along with that patience comes an understanding that sex is not the end all be all in life. Sure, it has its place for either pleasure or reproduction but it doesn't need to dominate relationships. If sex is something you're hesitant about, or against having, it doesn't make much difference to him. Dracula would be fine without sleeping with you, so long as he can have you in other ways. Holding you close, holding your hand, sitting next to you in front of a warm fire- those things are what make him feel close to your heart. 

Dracula also enjoys how animated you get when you go on rants about your special interests. He’s very versed in history and folklore as well, although not American comics, so he would listen intently as you teach him all you know. 

As an ESTJ, you would be very grounding for him (an INTJ), while still having a great deal in common. The both of you value an intellectual connection in a relationship while your more empathetic, extroverted side would help push him to see the truth of humanity where he may previously have only seen things in shades of black and white. You both strive for the best, and that suits you just fine with your perfectionism, but do be warned, there may be times you don’t see eye to eye. What you hold as most important in an issue or debate may be different than what he holds. Remember to be patient. INTJs are prone to stubbornness, but being a Type A personality, I do not doubt that you’ll be able to handle any contrary moods of his just fine. 

Your thoughtlessness can also be a source of discourse within the relationship, as Dracula is bound to worry about you. You’re human, you're fragile and under so much pressure. He cares deeply for you and does not want to see you hurt. The one advantage you do have, however, is your humility. It keeps you from being both arrogant and thoughtless which is a much more dangerous combination. So long as you are aware enough of your limits, and keep your wits about you the best you can, Dracula promises to trust you enough to let you come and go as you need to, so long as you’re willing to admit when you need help. But with your best trait being your humility, that shouldn't be a problem. 

Dracula is so touched by your acts of service. Being such an ancient and scary vampire no one ever thought to make him tea or ask if he needed help with anything. He feels so fortunate to have a partner who does not see him solely as ‘Dracula’, Lord of Vampires, but as Vlad Tepes, a man at heart. 

Not to mention your size difference is too adorable for words. He’s so tall and you’re so tiny… He always kneels whenever you ask for a kiss, he’ll never ask you to step on a stool or climb a ladder to reach him. He’s more than happy to come to you. He loves you. You are his new light, his new reason to believe in humanity. 

Alucard (Adrian Tepes) could also be a good match for you! He’s an ambivert like you, although he may not admit it. He’s the son of a scholar and a doctor, so he’s very understanding when it comes to your education and career. And his empathetic nature makes him extremely compatible with your considerate one. 

As Alucard is a dhampir and immortal, this matchup could work in either medieval times or modern times. For the sake of this matchup, imagine whatever you might prefer. 

Alucard hasn’t always had the best experience when it comes to sex. Granted, you can’t judge every potential future experience based on one horrible one, but he’s not the kind of guy who jumps into bed easily. He has reservations and feels very insecure about the whole act. Should he ever engage in it, he’d need a partner who’s very understanding, or just as nervous as he is about the whole thing. In hindsight, I don’t think Alucard would mind not having all that much sex: for him, your continued company means more than any sexual endeavor could. 

Alucard is very impressed with your decision to go into pre med. He knows how much work that means you’re going to be undertaking, and he’ll do whatever he can to support you, either in your studies or in your personal life. He’s very well-read and rather educated on biology as his mother was a physician, so feel free to ask him any questions or have him quiz you before exams. He’s also a bit of an obsessive lover. When he decides he likes someone, he makes a point to memorize that person. (Recall the Trevor and Sypha dolls?) He wants to know what you think and why you think it. That way, he can anticipate your thoughts or needs. 

And he does quite enjoy it when you sing to him, especially if you sing him to sleep. Sleep hasn't always come easy to him, but with your presence and your lovely voice, it’s as if an angel is singing him a lullaby. I also believe Alucard would absolutely thrive playing TTRPG: he’s sarcastic, smart and strategic. I really think he’d dominate any campaign he set his mind to. Plus, it’d be great socialization for him besides you. 

As an ESTJ you’re fairly compatible with Alucard’s INFJ. You’re just extroverted enough to pull him out of his idealistic daydreams, but grounded and predictable enough not to shake his confidence or trust in you/your relationship. The only possible issue is that INFJs can sometimes get caught up in the fantastical destiny of it all: it’s about people and purpose. Whereas ESTJs tend to be a bit more practical- you value reality and stability a bit more than potential and daydreams. But I don’t envision this to be a huge problem, so long as you push communication with Alucard. He internalizes a lot. He’ll need to be reminded to share his inner feelings. So long as you do that, I don’t see any major discourse between you two. 

Alucard may be a little disappointed in your moments of thoughtlessness, but at the same time, he finds them endearing. You try so hard: you’re a perfectionist like he is, and even though you’re only human, you strive for the same greatness. It’s rather admirable. He likes that about you. 

Alucard would also be very touched by your acts of service, mainly because he often finds himself doing the service for others. It’s nice to be taken care of for a change. And he is very happy to spend quality time with you. He’d follow you everywhere if you let him. So long as he’s near you, he feels complete. He’s always leaning down to give you soft forehead kisses whenever you’re around. You’re so precious to him. 

[rawliverandgoronspice]

Yeah, so... Just to clarify a specific TotK-related thing I haven't been super transparent about, or not enough perhaps? I'm not accusing Nintendo of being this machiavellian entity with TotK's storytelling. I mean, it's not impossible that some narrative limitations were put in place to avoid rocking the boat too hard (and some people actually are conservative and have conservative beliefs that they champion in the work they make/fund, it's A Thing too also that we tend to ignore or wave off because Surely nobody would actually think like that, buuut sometimes people do think like that also and it's really unfortunate but people do be conservative the same way people do be gay and try to inject gay stories in corporate settings that try to maximize profit and audience reach, conservatives also do that it turns out!!! not saying it's what happened because I have no idea but I'd hardly say it's impossible), but: I think the final result and what I criticize about it happened mostly because of carelessness and/or lack of power from the narrative department to make their case (I didn't even see a "Writer" or any mention of a narrative department in the credits btw, so I don't know what's up with that), and not from active malice.

I am a consultant, it's kind of my job to work with game companies to mesh gameplay and narrative together, and honestly an enormous portion of my job is to just... point out that some tropes and some "evident" writing shortcuts have Implications, or might end up saying the opposite of what the game wanted to say (not my favorite part of the job, let me tell you this). The game industry is really super fucking bad with themes and media literacy in general to be really honest with you, so sometimes this conversation goes over super well and lead to very interesting places where we get to define a clearer narrative purpose to collectively push, and sometimes people get incredibly defensive and reject all and any criticism before slamming the door on your fingers. It's a known thing in the industry (and everywhere tbh, like trying to get a guy who is "such a feminist" to admit that he's systematically torturing his female characters to give them character growth is uhhhh very veryvery fun as you can imagine)

So while I'm not blaming Nintendo for twirling their copyrighted Italian Mustache while secretely trying to inject imperialist propaganda in their good fun game, I do blame them for not spotting their biases during a 6 year development cycle and for not making their narrative ambitions a bigger priority given the subject matter, and I do side-eye them for addressing said biases in ways that reinforce the core issue, which is to create a fictional conflict that refuse to self-examine and will sabotage its emotional beats, its writing and its character arcs to preserve, at almost all costs, an extremely flat worldview that also happens to parallel really unfortunate real life propaganda stories in its imagery, themes and tone (and this is a criticism I only have for TotK, and not towards the entire Zelda canon which has historically been much, *much* better than this, even in entries that were pretty close plot-wise).

[thefirstknife]

speaking of the unveiling, and bc im interested in hearing more of your thoughts on it, ive always been of the opinion that even as a parable or a metaphor or allegory or whatever you want to name it, because of the nature of the setting and how destiny largely tends to approach its own metaphysical "rules" in conjunction with its various narrators, that just because something is a metaphor doesn't necessarily mean it isn't also literal? if that makes sense. maybe it's leftover from when i was more of an elder scrolls girlie, but in my mind the two are not as mutually exclusive as one would think when it comes to fantasy/scifi especially in settings like destiny. there could very well be a "garden" and a "game" but exactly what and where (i believe these maybe more metaphysical concepts than physical and im open to being completely wrong) could be something completely inaccessible to human understanding if it even exists at all. that being said, im with you in wondering why everyone is getting angry over what i thought was kind of obvious.

Yeah, absolutely! I really love how Brookes phrased it:

“Unveiling is a parable. It is effectively a religious text. And how much of that is propaganda, how much of that is myth, how much of that is fact is deeply unclear in the nature of the text.”

Note how he never said it isn't real or literal. He said that we just can't know how much of it is myth and how much of it is fact due to the nature of the text. Most notably, due to who is telling it; the author being a biased party that is selling us a pitch to sway us to its side is super important.

If Unveiling is the result of the Witness peering behind the Veil and, well, witnessing the origins of the universe and therefore coming to a conclusion that everything is meaningless and that there is no greater purpose or a specific goal, the way the Witness would then try to present these origins of the universe would be painted by its conclusions. It has to make sense, the Gardener has to be meaningless and it has to prefer purposeless complexity over anything else and therefore the way the universe was constructed has to reflect that. So the Gardener and Winnower have to fight in a garden where everything was fine until the Gardener decided to make a change and that's why the universe exists as it does. And of course, don't forget that a part of the pitch is also to make us believe that the Gardener is not the right way to follow.

So an interpretation of these incomprehensible events would always to an extent fit the narrator. That means that we're basically dealing with a single interpretation of events that transpired which are impossible to factually see and measure. Someone else who looks at the Veil and uses it to see everything about the history of the universe will probably come to a different conclusion and will tell a different story based on the same events.

All terminology in the text is also very deliberately structured for human readers. There are references to big and small things that are specifically about only humans so this text would not work on any other species; it would have to be altered. This is immediately suspect because it shows that this was written for us and isn't just something that sprung out of nowhere fully formed with facts.

Among the references; the flower game which is literally just Conway's Game of Life (you can play it here btw) and it's a conscious reference since it mentions specific terminology from the game; the whole thing about the protein p53 which specifically calls it by our human terminology; the Cambrian Explosion which references geological eras and evolution of our planet; and super interesting reference to a specific individual, philosopher Jakob Böhme which is mentioned in two different pages. Someone did a deep dive into his philosophy in regards to the Veil because the Unveiling explicitly says that "he was right and it matters more than anything." Here's a really neat post about this on reddit if you want to dive into complex philosophical stuff.

These are hints that the author of the text is trying to put things into words that would make sense to us, humans, and that would additionally sway us to believe that the author is correct. So if you're trying to explain the origins of the universe to a human that you also want to sway to your position, you would naturally have to create a mythology that a human would be able to digest and believe.

I do believe that there's facts in Unveiling, as I've noted some like for example the Vex in my post about it. How do we explain existence before existence to a human and make them believe us? Use familiar terminology (garden, gardener, winnower, vex), construct a myth that neatly answers all questions, sprinkle references and facts about the real human history to show that the author is familiar with what they're talking about and then write in a way that's approachable.

So yeah. Something must've been there before the Big Bang. Our human brain really struggles to conceptualise this and humanity has been trying to figure it out since the dawn of time; through religion, philosophy, mysticism, science and all combinations of those. It might be literally impossible to figure it out and explain something like "initial singularity," especially in a way to make some humans decide that your story is interesting and worth following you for.

It's much simpler to boil it down to a "garden" with some relatable characters who are playing a game and get into a fight. It's easier to explain that the Vex may have preceded the existence of the universe by just saying that they escaped a garden where two cosmic beings fought over a game. This "place" (if we can call it that) might still exist, but by the virtue of being outside of our comprehension, it's easier to describe it as a garden with characters and a tree and some strange lifeforms. It's certainly more captivating than reading about real theoretical physics like for example this (as incredibly fascinating as it is, a lot of it will absolutely fly above people's heads, including mine).

The point is, the story could absolutely still be based on facts, as Brookes said, we just don't know what those facts are. The text itself is not telling ONLY facts because that's not its purpose, not to mention that it's easier to explain and entertain people by giving a cool myth with fundamental forces of physics and existence being shown through personifications who talk and argue and fight. People taking those personifications literally has always been weird to me because the text itself tells us they're allegorical. It's admitting that it's trying to explain things that are difficult to explain and is using a way for us to conceptualise this (showing itself as a benevolent entity that is eager to give us information), while also using this conceptualisation to weave its own propaganda in it at the same time.

Some of this will clear up soon. I'm very eager to find out if we'll ever get more of the Traveler's perspective on any of this. I would love to hear the Traveler say something at some point again. That would probably help us do our best to figure out more about what's fact and what's myth, but even that would be biased, in a way, even if the Traveler is the Gardener; the Gardener would still be telling us its own view of things. But another perspective would definitely help. Either way, it's a fascinating piece of text and an interesting dive into some really intriguing scifi concepts. I'm definitely not expecting some substantial 100% provable fact on how the universe began, as that question exceeds what a video game story can tell us, but will there be something that fits the setting? Some sort of an answer, as close to the truth as possible? Maybe!

To close this off, I always liked the story about the origin of the universe of the species called the Tiiarn, as told to Caiatl by her childhood mythkeeper, the psion Ahztja:

"Imagine the universe as swirling chaos," Ahztja said softly. Caiatl closed her eyes and saw it. "Among the chaos stands Irkyn La, the First Host, who blinks herself into existence with the First Thought: chaos must come to order." Caiatl saw a creature, tremendous beyond belief, in her mind's eye. "And so to satisfy the First Thought, which would become the First Law, Irkyn La consumes the chaos of the void and gives birth to the ordered universe." Caiatl opened her eyes, and they were bright with intrigue. "That is how the Tiiarn would say the universe began," Ahztja said. Caiatl looked at the toy in her hands, and then back at Ahztja. "Where does this giant woman live?" "The Tiiarn would say she is the very fabric of the universe. When you look to the sky, when you look out into space, you are looking into Irkyn La's mouth."

Who knows, maybe there's some truth to this myth as well.

[piracytheorist]

The Olka and Gram giving Yor the gratitude she deserves 😭😭😭😭👏👏👏👏 yeeeessssss!!

Let Yor know that her sacrifices aren't for nothing!

Btw, Briar siblings are truly one of a kind, huh? 😏😏

Yuri put 3 whole all nighters to catch that reporter, and now Yor put up 2 whole all nighters with fight and sustain injuries, and still able to look that cute 🥰🥰

They truly are special. Make me hc that they are also a result of human experiments, which took their parents' life away in protecting them.

But I'd also love to think that it is purely genetic of Briar family. Super strength and endurance in exchange to zero tolerance of alcohol 🤣🤣🤣

The scene with Olka and Gram thanking Yor is truly so heart-warming. I'm hoping Yor will get a gracious paycheck for this, but we know she did it because she saw a woman desperate for a peaceful life to raise her child happy and free, and Yor wanted to help her have that, and she risked life and limb to do just that. So getting recognition and gratitude from Olka, seeing that it wasn't just a business transaction and an actual human who respected and recognized her sacrifice, it's amazing.

Well, Yuri had to get some of that super endurance that Yor got, right? XD It would be unfair if she got the lion's share of that, siblings gotta share! But yeah they got it at the cost of not holding their liquor. It's only fair XD

The headcanon about the human experimentation is interesting, but it's too sad for me to adopt. It could definitely end up being true though!

[everlasting-rainfall]

I have a question, regarding the yandere society au. I think it's SUPER INTERESTING BTW.

How does an Abnormal, or even a regular darling like, reject a yandere? Without being called Abnormal? Like for something like, not being interested in dating for person school/work/life reasons or opposing personalities making them uninterested in the yandere that happened to start pursuing them? Are darlings not allowed to have a say in the yans they might be interested in?

I’m glad that you like my AU, dear! It makes me happy to hear that and trust me that I will be writing more for it in the future just like with Skin into Fur/Animal Shifter AU!

In the meantime, do feel free to send in any asks about it as I’ll be more than happy to answer them even if it’s like “Insert Character with Yandere Society” just be aware though that unless I’m told otherwise then I will more than likely be taking liberties like you gotta tell me if you won’t want something specific in it

Anywho! I’m getting off topic! Let’s get into it, shall we?

!-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT AT ALL-!

!-POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNINGS-!

Murder, Stalking, Blood Mention, Delusions Trauma Mention, Forced Relationships !-POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNINGS-!

!-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT AT ALL-!

So an Abnormal rejecting a Yandere is absolutely nothing new in the world of Yandere Society as Abnormals will almost always say no to the Yandere that has decided to pursue them and almost always a Yandere won’t give a shit as they’ll continue their pursuit

Even when it comes to Darling x Yandere which is usually summed up as Yandere x Yandere, the person who was rejected typically doesn’t really care as they’ll continue their pursuit of the object of their affections

Rejection really isn’t a thing that you can do in Yandere Society unfortunately although I guess in some circumstances you could hypothetically reject someone but that’s a long and hard process that would probably result in injury or death of a person

Like let’s say for a moment that you and your partner got together then later on, some asshole who bullied the two of you or just one of you latches on romantically to one or both of you

Neither you or your partner want this person around as you both hate them but they refuse to take no for an answer because Yandere, this would result in the long process of Rejection in order to get this person to stay away from you and your partner

Killing them is an option especially if they really won’t leave you alone as these circumstances would make it an innocent crime but if you don’t want to spill any blood then get ready for a long process of getting the asshole to leave you alone without any bloodshed

You could simply move somewhere where they wouldn’t find you but you could also ignore them until they hopefully lose interest which would possibly cause them to cling onto someone else eventually

Boom! Yandere successfully rejected!

There is always the outcome of the Yandere turning violent and attempting to hurt you though but in that case just talk to law enforcement as they’ll handle it from there as law enforcement are fairly trustworthy in this world

Well… Unless you’re an abnormal, I guess…

Also for people who aren’t interested in dating, if the person being pursued would truly wind up being hurt by a relationship then even if you are a Yandere or an Abnormal or a Late Bloomer or anything, no Yandere’s will come after you until it’s considered that you can enter into a relationship without damage

And I’m not talking about like I have a lot of stress on me at the moment with school and work or I’m just not looking for a relationship right now sort of stuff

Yandere’s will only not pursue you if being in a relationship will truly hurt you like let’s say that there’s some pretty serious trauma going on or you just lost someone dear to you like your previous partner just died or you lost someone very dear to you

People can still feel attraction to you but even Yandere’s know that now just isn’t the time to do stuff like that so a lot of people will still gather around you but they won’t be there to make any moves on you as they’ll just be trying to ensure that you’re alright and try to get you help

Maybe they do have a few ulterior motives like getting closer to you by comforting you but their main goal here is to just help you through this then afterwards once you’re alright, that’s when they can start the Yandere stuff

Because remember, everyone! Even a Yandere knows the correct place and time for these things!

Anyways if this isn’t the case then Yandere’s don’t really give a shit as they’ll still be trying to enter a relationship with you regardless of what’s going on in your life like they’ll be taking it a bit slower as to not further stress you out but that kinda depends on the person as well

Like for example characters like Coby, Buggy, and Sanji would pull back a little on things as to not further stress you out but meanwhile characters like Luffy, Akainu, and Roger wouldn’t pull back although all for separate reasons of course

Like Luffy isn’t pulling back because he knows that if he can get you to come with him then you won’t have to stress anymore but meanwhile someone like Akainu isn’t pulling back due to sheer determination to have you

Also as for the thing that you mentioned with opposing personalities? Personally I think that what would wind up happening there is likely a sort of “You’ll learn to love me” kinda situation if it was the Darling that didn’t like the Yandere

As for if Darling’s are able to have a say in the Yandere’s that they’re interested in? Well like the example that I gave earlier about rejecting the asshole, they only sometimes do

Like if the pursuing Yandere is someone who actively hurt them in the past or they’re someone who hurt people that they care about to an extent where it was considered ridiculous even in the eyes of the Yandere Society then yes, they are allowed to have a say

There are some other exceptions too but let’s not get into those as it’s based around law and shit so let’s continue on

Other than those examples, Darling’s aren’t really allowed to have a say in who pursues them

[druvjelly]

Oc drama as an AITA story! BECAUSE WHY NOT

AITA for telling the weird girl pretty girls have struggles too

I (f16) am considered pretty by almost everyone. I’ve been contacted by modeling agencies and guys always try to ask me out. But it does have it downsides. Like I am insecure about my personality at times and other stuff which will come in hand later. But it does start with this one girl, Margaux (f16), who’s the president of the fashion club. Though she isn’t super pretty by the standards. One thing that does make her stand out is her personality. She is what you would consider a weird girl, rambles about her interests, doesn’t understand sarcasm, and is really blunt at times.

We were talking to each other because our school was about to have a fashion competition. But I was unable to have a conversation because she kept talking about a Japanese rock band. So I told her

“Oh, you’re really interested in that band,” and she replied “yes, couldn’t you tell,”

She seemed a bit mad, because she told me “there’s nothing wrong with being straight forward,”

I replied saying that sometimes people do view me as bitchy if I am blunt, and then i said “you know, being pretty does have it downsides sometimes”

Margaux remained quiet as she continued drawing. She was actually really great at designing these unique type of dresses.

“Sometimes girls doesn’t want to be my friend because they’re jealous of me,”

She replied “sometimes other girls treat me like a pet and just laugh at regular things I do, and then when I point out stuff they act like I’m in the wrong,”

I said “At least people allow you to be yourself.”

She became furious, she snapped at me and told me that being autistic is a tiring and hard. Feeling like the outsider and being forced to act normal. She then asked me if we could swap places, me becoming the average looking weird girl and her becoming the average looking “neurotypical”. I said yes. Because she would probably feel really tired to be in position. She then snapped and said “so you want to be disabled because being pretty is so hard?” And rolled her eyes.

I told her “yeah, being pretty does have some similar struggles to being autistic”

Btw Margaux’s pov coming out soon

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

out of interest, how do you think izaya developed aspd and npd? i know that pds typically develop as a result of trauma so i suppose his parents always being absent would be a factor but id also like to hear your thoughts on it. love the aspd izaya headcanon btw

first off, thank u!

and secondly, his parents being absent would definetley be a factor. i read somewhere that its actually children whove been neglected that are more likely to develop aspd rather than children who are abused, because the complete LACK of stimului contributes to aspd more than bad stimuli does. take this with a grain of salt though because my source is "i saw it somewhere" and im 90% sure that place was NOT a study so it might be wrong

but either way, both pds are known to be caused by trauma and both have a genetic component to them. the genetic component isnt SUPER well known, but it IS known that there's a hereditery component here

so honestly? i think izaya was born with antisocial tendencies. NOT aspd, i must stress- at a very young age, if he was given adequate support and treatment, they could've stayed tendeicies and he wouldn't have developed fullblown aspd. he couldve turned out like one of those guys with a bit of a skewed morality system but is otherwise mentally healthy enough to participate in society without wanting to kill himself or others. quirks over disorder

but from pretty much every account i can think of, izaya was ALWAYS an odd child, to the point where it was his father that instilled a love of humanity into him

When he was younger, I saw he was distant from others, and that made me worried. And so I wanted him to come to like humans and become a man who could strongly love people twice as others would. (source)

of course this isnt exactly very detailed wrt izayas behavior, but if its enough that his absent father noticed, it mustve been pretty serious

so wrt his aspd, i think he was born with those kinds of tendencies, which were then exasperated by the neglect and ergo got worse and worse over the years, culminating in high school with his friendship with shinra, blackmailimg of nakura, and his beginning to poke his nose in the underground

his npd is a bit trickier

so, the way i personally developed npd is that my mom would seem to have two perceptions of me in her head, depending on wether or not i was following the Good Perception or not. the first me, the good one, was intelligent, kind, and filled with potential. the other one was a stupid lazy monster. i was the good one, up until i did anything she didnt like, then i was the bad one. these two ideas getting fed into me led to me clinging onto the Good Perception as how i really was, and if something even for a second made me slip, i'd crash down from total egoism to total repulsion. And It Sucked!

(disclaimer: do not armchair diagnose my mother. i have my theories but they will stay private and i absolutely do not want a STRANGER butting into this, especially when they could know less abt mental illness than me and thus spread misinformation)

now, i dont think izaya's parents were like my mom- but there was still a dichotomy at play here. he would go to school, where he would be a smart student and praised by his teachers, even if he kept to himself. then, he'd go home, and be alone. as he got older, it only got worse- humans are social creatures, and we don't take well to being lonely. the mind starts to cope with it however it can.

as izaya started to venture deeper into the underground, he couldve started to develop a superiority complex about it. see, look- he's smarter than everyone. better than everyone. that's why he's alone, its because he's too good to be around them. not because he's worse. he's better.

because, especially once he gets to high school age... izaya is smart. izaya is perceptive. izaya would be able to tell that there's something different about him, and that's why people avoid him and he avoids them. there's something wrong with him in a way that's repulsive and unpalatable to most. that'd wreck a kid's self-image, especially a neglected kid's, since he'd already have low self-image from, yk, the neglect

and the dichitomy of the low and high self-image makes him develop npd- the ego masks the low self esteem, but both are equally felt and true, its not like his egoism and god complex are fake- it's all very real, he feels it all and believes it genuinely, and he clings onto it because if he slips, he KNOWS where he's gonna plummet

anyway thats just my take on it!! "it was his childhood" is prolly a boring answer but honestly a lot of mental illness has that answer at the root of it. art imitates life and all