#sure but..... it's 8 and fucking 80 degrees INSIDE !!!

[cetoddle-archive]

godddd i cannot wait until i'm out of here and on my own fuck this house forever

[todorokiaimee]

Dopamine Chapter 8

Previous Chapter

“I hope you know I’m an indoors person,” Jada mumbled as she walked behind Bakugou. “I don’t do well in the elements.” The pair were deep in the mountains of the Koburi Pass, trekking up the remote hiking trail. She clicked her tongue as she looked down at her Timberland boots, careful not to step in any mud. She still couldn’t believe he had managed to drag her out into the wilderness on this so-called date. 

“I knew you were high maintenance but I didn’t peg you as a priss,” the hero huffed as he stomped ahead, looking over his shoulder.

“Hey, I ain’t no priss. I just don’t see the point in roughing it and getting dirty when our ancestors worked so hard not to be.”

Bakugou rolled his eyes as he pushed a tree limb out of their way, “Don’t try to make it a noble thing. The fresh air will do you some good.”

The ravenette clicked her tongue as they continued making their way through the brush. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re luring me away to death to hide my body out in the woods.”

“Are you saying you trust me?” The blonde asked with a smirk.

Jada rolled her eyes, choosing to ignore his comment. “Where are we going anyway?”

“You’ll see.”

The two continued to hike through the wilderness in a comfortable silence until they reached a small clearing. Just ahead was a tall cliff, easily 10 stories high. Jada tilted her head up as she tried to see the top, Bakuogu interrupting her thoughts.

“We’re here.”

“What do you mean we’re here?” She gaped at him, motioning to the rocky barrier in front of them. “It’s a dead-end!”

“We’re rock climbing stupid,” Bakugou grunted as he took a knee and pulled his backpack off of his shoulders, taking out its contents.

Jada crossed her arms in defiance as she sat into her hip. “You must be stupid if you think I’m climbing that.”

 “The only way around is up and I ain’t carrying you.” The hero hummed as he began tying the safety ropes together. The ravenette didn’t budge, her emerald green eyes staring down at him.

“Fine, I’ll leave you here and let the animals and “elements” deal with you.”

Bakugou’s idle threat hung in the air between them for a moment before Jada finally relented, waving him off with her bare hand and a heavy sigh, “You’re lucky I’m in between sets right now.” 

“That’s what I thought,” He chuckled smugly, pulling out a harness from his bag. “Now come here and let me get you hooked up.”

Jada begrudgingly approached him, watching him carefully as he worked. After a moment, he lightly patted her thigh uttering a command.

“Spread ‘em.”

“I would say you should take me dinner first but that would be a moot point.” The dark-skinned beauty smirked with a raised brow.

The hero chuckled as he helped Jada step into the harness before pulling it up in place over her wide hips. He carefully adjusted the steps making sure she was secure.  “How’s that feel? Not too tight?”

“It’s good.”

 “You ever done this before?” Bakugou hummed as he attached her safety line to his harness. 

“Do I look like I’ve ever done this before?”

He rolled his eyes at her sass, clearly, she was just nervous. “You’ll be fine. I know you’re not afraid of heights.” He bit his lip as his thoughts went to her heavenly body twirling high upon a pole at the strip club. Unfortunately, Jada also caught his distant look, knowing exactly what he was daydreaming. Bakugou cleared his throat as he looked away, preparing the last safety measures before starting their descent. “Just one foot and hand at a time.”

With a deep breath, Jada reluctantly nodded her head, walking up to the intimidating 50-meter high wall. Carefully, she placed her boot on the first nook she could find, hoisting herself up. Alright, so it’s not as hard as I thought. She continued to climb, quickly finding a rhythm, her upper body strength giving her an unexpected edge. 

Bakugou smirked to himself as he watched her climb, following suit. He knew she had it in her. If she could lift and hold herself up on a pole by squeezing her thighs alone, she could climb a rock wall with no problem. The pair continued to climb in silence for a few minutes until the hero finally spoke up, “Not bad, Dimples. Maybe one day you’ll be half as good as —” 

Bakugou looked over to his side expecting to see Jada’s long black locs, but was met with nothing but open air. What the fuck… He looked around feverishly but there was no sign of her. Could she have fallen? He didn’t feel any weight on her lead rope. He called for her, concern growing in his voice with each passing second, “Dimples? Dimp- Jada?!”

“What are you hollering about?”

Following the sound of her voice, Bakugou looked up above him. There at the top of the cliff, was Jada Jackson. She stood with her hip cocked to the side, looking down at him from her perch. Even from this distance, he could tell that she was quite pleased with herself. How the hell did she get up there so fast? “I turn around and you’re gone! How about some heads up?” he barked as he clung to the side of the rocky cliff. 

The dark-skinned beauty only giggled at his comment, turning on her heel before tossing her long locs over her shoulder. “How about you keep up?”

Clicking his tongue, Bakugou quickly climbed the rest of the way up, not wanting to be shown up any further. Hoisting himself over the edge of the cliff, he was met with Jada’s smug face, offering him a hand. With a playful roll of his eyes, he took it, admiring her guts to take him on. 

The hero then took off his climbing gear, before helping Jada do the same. His eyes and  fingers lingered on her skin, and she was quick to notice. “See something you like?” Before he could answer, the ravenette backed away with a confident smile, leaving the hero where he stood.

Making her way further down the path, Jada continued to tease the blonde, purposefully swaying her hips with every step, until her timberland boot slipped on a wet rock along the trail. Even as she tried to catch herself, her ankle rolled causing her to fall over and into dirt and brush, “Oh fuck!”

“Oi! You alright?” Bakugou yelled as he rushed over to her aid. The woman was now flat on her ass, wincing in pain.

“You mean besides eating shit while just trying to walk? Yeah, I’m just peachy.” Jada hissed as she brushed off the dirt and mud from her arms and legs. 

“You should be more careful!”

“I told you I didn’t like the elements! I am an inside person!”

The hero sighed as he kelt down, taking off his backpack, “Alright stop your bitching and let me look at it.” with the softest touch, he took her ankle in his hands. Carefully, he rolled it slowly as Jada grimaced in discomfort. With a nod, he tenderly let her ankle back on the ground before standing, “Okay, so it’s not broken or you’d be screaming bloody murder. I’ll wrap it up for support and it will be back to normal in a day or two.”

 Bakugou helped her up to her feet before taking his backpack from the ground. Instead of placing it back on his back, the blonde wore it on across his broad chest before turning his back to the woman expectantly. Jada stared at him for a moment unsure of what to do. “What are you waiting for?! Hop on, I ain’t got all day!”

Finally, it clicked that the hero was offering her a piggyback ride. She scoffed as she slapped her sides with her arms in frustration. “Try using your words next time! I ain’t no mind reader!” Carefully, Jada climbed onto his back. Her long chocolate arms draped over his shoulders while his strong calloused hands gripped her thighs. “You better not drop me,” she grumbled under her breath.

“Don’t squirm and I won’t.” Bakugou stalked up the trail in silence for a while as he carried her effortlessly. Even out here in the 80-degree heat, he could still smell her jasmine perfume lightly caressing her skin. With her this close, his mind instantly went to their first meeting; the feel of her soft skin against his; The sound of her quiet moans ringing in his ear. Shaking off those thoughts he scoffed to himself, “I can’t believe you dance every night in 6-inch heels only to roll your ankle in fucking boots.”

 “I’m not dancing on loose and wet rocks!” Jada argued, turning her face away from the hero. “You’re talking a lot of shit for a dude that begged me to go out on a date with him.”

“Tch. Whatever.” 

The pair continued forward with only the sound of crunching leaves and twigs under Bakugou’s feet between them. The ravenette sighed as she resolved herself to taking in the scenery of their nature hike. If she wasn’t such an inside person, this view would be quite beautiful. While she took in the sights of the lush trees, a warm and familiar scent reached her nose. Is that… sugar cookies? 

Before she could question the scent further, a small cabin began to come into view at the top of the hill. It wasn’t long until they reached its front door, Bakugou pulling out a pair of keys from his backpack, unlocking the door. Very carefully, he walked her inside, letting her put her weight on his shoulders. Once they reached the kitchen, the hero lifted the woman easily to sit on the kitchen counter before disappearing into another room, “Be right back.” 

Jada looked around the small cabin, taking in the subtle decor. It was cozy and inviting, adorned with rustic flannel and neutral colors. Honestly, it looked like something out of a magazine. “So this place is yours?” she asked as the blonde came back into the room.

“Yeah. I stay here pretty often. Whenever I want to get away and recharge.” Bakugou hummed as he approached the woman, crouching down on one knee. “Now let’s see about this ankle, you klutz. Lucky enough for you, I’m with a hero who has a pretty extensive first aid kit.” He shook the first aid kit in his hand while flashing a cheeky smile. 

“Does that mean you get hurt a lot?”

The hero scoffed to himself, before looking up at her with ruby red eyes, measured and sure, “It means I never run from a fight.”

Fuck, don’t look at me like that. I’m still mad at you. Jada bit her lip as she looked away from his gaze.

“There,” He chuckled as he finished wrapping her ankle in an ace bandage. “Maybe now you’ll stop falling for me before you really hurt yourself.”

 “Is that really the best line you could come up with?” Jada huffed, crossing her arms.

“It must be pretty good, Dimples,” Bakugou smirked, resealing the first aid kit, “You’re smiling.” 

“You’re insufferable.”

 “I call it persistent.”

 Bakugou slowly stood to his feet, before reaching one hand behind her to rest on the cool tile of the countertop she was perched on, effectively leaning over her. “Come on, Dimples,” he cooed in his trademark rough voice, entrancing her. With her full attention under his sultry gaze, he brushed his calloused fingertips down her warm brown thigh, before sliding his hand underneath her knee, gently lifting her long leg up to rest on his hip. “This needs to stay elevated and I know the perfect way to pass the time.”

Jada took in a breath as she looked up at the blonde hero, their lips inches away from each other. Her mind wanted to resist out of principle but her body wanted him in the worst possible way.  What are you doing to me, Blasty?

Fuck it. Finally, she closed the gap, their lips connecting in a fiery passion. Wrapping her arms around him, she pulled him even closer, wanting nothing between them. Bakugou returned the favor, skillfully moving his lips against hers before letting his tongue softly trace her bottom lip, silently asking for entry. 

Of course, Jada complied. The hero hummed as his grip on her leg tightened as he began to explore the inside of her mouth. Their tongues wrestled for dominance until she finally relented, a soft moan leaving her throat. 

“Mmm, that’s a good girl.” Bakugou breathed against her full lips, as he continued to mold himself to her. Taking his hands from her body, he reached down to his pants, unbuttoning them. Just as he was about to push them off his hips, the ravenette placed her hands over his, stopping him. “What’s wrong?” he asked, a confused look on his face.

Jada paused as she looked up at him, searching for something in his fiery red eyes she couldn’t quite name. Finally, she turned away, shaking her head, “Nothing.” 

“Nothing?”

“Yeah…” Her voice trailed off as she nibbled on her bottom lip.

“So are we doing this or…” Bakugou watched her for a moment, but her eyes never returned to him. He knew she had something on her mind. “Spit it out, woman!”

“You hurt me!”

“Huh?” The hero quirked a blonde brow, unsure of what she meant. He hadn’t even touched her. 

“I’m the baddest bitch there is and you hurt me. That’s saying a lot.” Jada confessed as she looked him square in the face, Bakugou instantly taking notice. “Look it’s obvious that we have chemistry and I’m into you. I said I’d give you another shot after you showed your ass at the club but... I still don’t trust you.” 

The dark-skinned beauty could feel her face heating up in her embarrassment. She couldn’t believe she was being this honest and candid with her feelings. With this man she barely knew. Taking a deep breath, she continued in a soft voice as she dropped her gaze, staring into her lap. “I have to protect myself. I’m not sleeping with you again until you can prove to me that this is real. I’m no one’s dirty secret and I’m nobody’s fool.” Finding her confidence again she lifted her head, her emerald green eyes locking with his.  “I need no man, hero or not. If you can’t hang with that then it was nice knowing you I guess.” 

Bakugou crossed his arms as he took in everything that she said. He should have known he wouldn’t be able to just pick things up where they left off before that fateful night. Of course, he would be in the doghouse. If he was being honest, it was that fire that drew him to her even after all of that drama. 

With a heavy sigh, the hero rebuttoned his pants before running a hand through his ash blonde hair. “Look, as fun as it was, I don’t need sex to function like some punks and I get why you don’t exactly trust me. But I need you to get one thing straight.” He paused as he walked around and behind the kitchen island where she sat, Jada turning and craning her neck to follow. “I’m not some schmuck you can string along for kicks. That said... I am interested, so I’ll pursue.” He then leaned forward and across the island so that his lips were next to her ear as he whispered, “But I won’t chase.”

Jesus Christ, why are you so sexy? Jada did her best to hide her smirk from the blonde, refusing to give him the satisfaction. He’s the one that should be begging and salivating, not her.

 “I’m hungry,” Bakugou said as he clapped his hands, effectively breaking the sexual tension in the air. “Let’s see what I have here.” With a huff he began to rummage through his cabinets and refrigerator until he whipped together a quick lunch. “That will do. Here,” he breathed as he slid a plate across the kitchen island to his date. 

“PB&J?” Jada quirked a brow as she picked up the simple sandwich.

“Yeah, something I picked up from the states,” He said as he took a bite. “Nothing fancy but it gets the job done.” 

Jada hummed as she took a bite herself. She had eaten more than enough PB&Js in her life. In a way, it was somewhat comforting. “So you lived in the states for a while?”

“Yeah, I was there for about a month for a mission. It was alright I guess,” the blonde paused as he grabbed two bottled waters from the fridge. “I’m surprised you left when most Japanese people would kill to live in America. ‘The land of opportunity’ and shit.”

The land of opportunity… the dark skinned woman hummed to herself as she took another bite, a soft sigh escaping her lips. “Yeah, maybe for some.”

“What do you mean?” The blonde questioned.

Jada paused as she looked over to the man. He rested his forearms on the countertop as he watched her carefully, sensing her sudden change in demeanor.

He really has no idea. She took a deep breath, unsure why her words came so freely from her mouth, when for years she kept silent, “My mom couldn’t afford to go to college so she started working at McDonald’s after high school. Minimum wage didn’t cover rent so she started stripping. Then she got pregnant with me and whoever my dad was didn’t stick around. With her growing belly and stretch marks, she got less and less tips dancing, so she started hoeing to keep us afloat.” 

Bakugou set down his sandwich on his plate as he stood up straighter to listen. He could tell that her words were not easy for her to say. 

“After a while, the stress and shame of that got to her. Really messed her up,” She paused, fighting that familiar tingle of her nose. “She started self-medicating with prescription drugs and heroin. She ODed when I was 13. I wound up in foster care and the cycle continues.” Jada chuckled dryly as she took another small bite of her sandwich, unable to meet his eyes. “So… you can say the land of opportunity didn’t do us any favors.” 

“Hm,” Bakugou hummed simply as he looked at the ravenette intently, stroking the stumble on his chin, “So you…”

Jada looked up at him with a puzzled look until she finally understood where his question was leading. “No fool! I just dance,” she scoffed as she crossed her arms. “And I’m clean too.” She paused, a flash of heat rising to her cheeks. “Fuck, I don’t know why just told you all that.”

“Well,” the hero breathed as he tossed his now empty plate into the dishwasher. “I won’t pretend to know what that’s like. But it’s still not enough to scare me off. I never back away from a challenge and you, Dimples,” he paused, giving her a sly smirk, “are one and a half.”

 The ravenette chuckled to herself as a familiar warmth rose to her cheeks. She turned away from his gaze on instinct but Bakugou knew he had hit his target. Fighting a soft smile, he gestured to her half eaten sandwich, “Finished eating?”

“Yeah.”

“Then let’s get you back down the mountain. It will take longer with you on my back.” He tossed the rest of her sandwich in the trash before putting the plate into the dishwasher, turning it on. “Ready?”

“I guess so.” Jada stretched her muscles for a moment before she looked up to see the hero slowly saunter in front of her between her legs once again. He licked his lips while he looked her up and down, a smug smirk forming across his face. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“No reason,” he shrugged. “Just thinking about how sweet victory is going to taste when you finally say yes to me.”

Jada rolled her eyes playfully as she smacked his broad shoulder, “Don’t get ahead of yourself, Blasty.” 

Bakugou laughed as he turned around before hoisting the cynical ravenette onto his back, “Please. I’m inevitable.”

Chapter 9 | Masterlist

[destiel-love-forever]

What a Jerk

It’s Valentine’s Day. For Castiel & Dean, that means war. 

Read below or on AO3: HERE

"What a jerk," Castiel grumbles, closing the door as the delivery man leaves.

"Who?" Benny asks from his spot on the couch a few feet away. He turns to look at Castiel, more words about to come out. Then he sees the giant bouquet of flowers in Castiel's hands and grins. "Oh. Dean."

"Stop smiling. He's an asshole." Castiel storms off to the kitchen. Since his penthouse apartment is an open-floor plan, though, he doesn't escape Benny. He just gets his bitch face from a new angle.

"Yes," Benny says sarcastically. "What an asshole for buying you flowers."

Castiel huffs as he searches for a stupid vase for the stupid flowers. "I told him not to do this."

"Yeah, bad idea. Telling Dean not to do something is pretty much the equivalent of challenging him to a duel."

There's a dusty vase beneath the sink. Castiel takes it out and fills it with water, not bothering to clean it first. When it's filled enough for the flowers to survive - because Castiel isn't a monster, he's not going to purposely kill beautiful flowers - he stuffs the bouquet into the vase.

"There." He sets the vase on his kitchen island and breathes a sigh of relief. "At least it's over now. Right?"

Benny snorts. "Dude, it's 8 AM. There's no way that's all he has planned for the day."

"You work for me, ya know," Castiel says in a voice that's supposed to be threatening but isn't. "You have to take my side."

"I'm your bodyguard. I keep you safe from bullets and kidnappers. Not overbearing lovers."

Castiel sighs in frustration. He pulls out his phone and very aggressively types in Dean Winchester's number.

Dean answers almost instantly. Clearly, he had been waiting for this call.

"Hey, C-"

"This stupid romantic nonsense is a waste of money and I swear Dean Winchester if you get me any more presents today I'm going to break up with your stupid ass!"

"So you got the flowers," Dean says with a smile in his voice. "Good. You should get ready for work, my love. Don't want to be late."

"Don't ignore me, Dean! You promised. You promised not to do this!"

"No. You ordered me not to do this. I never agreed."

"Dean-"

"Have a nice day, babe. I'm sure I'll be hearing from you soon."

"Dean!"

"Oh, and Cas?"

Castiel grits his teeth, fuming. "What?"

"Happy Valentine's Day."

Castiel growls - yes, growls - and hangs up. He throws his hands in the air and turns to Benny. "What a jerk!"

----

When Castiel stops at his favorite coffee shop for his usual morning Americano with cinnamon, the barista already has his order ready. It has a message written on it in Dean's hand writing, black sharpie scrawling its way across the disposable cup.

You are so brew tiful. I love you like I love my coffee - inside me (;

Castiel rolls his eyes. "What a jerk."

"Sorry?" the barista says in confusion.

"He's a jerk." Castiel grabs a disposable cup from the stack beside the register. He pops the top off the one Dean wrote on and pours his coffee into the fresh, non-Valentine cup. Then he tosses the graffitied cup and nods at the barista. "Have a good one."

"Uh… yeah." The barista watches him go, looking crestfallen. Clearly she had found it romantic. Disgusting. "You too."

----

Another bouquet of flowers is waiting for Castiel when he enters his private office. He glares at it from the doorway for a long moment before huffing in annoyance, going over and grabbing the damn thing. Still dressed in his trench coat, still with his briefcase in his left hand, Castiel walks down to the bull-pen and lifts the vase in the air.

"Who fucked up today and needs a Valentine's Day present for their significant other?" he yells, his anger making most of his employees shiver or tense up.

It takes a second but then a woman in the back tentatively raises her hand. Charlie. She's dating Dorothy from accounting. They're a cute couple.

"They're yours," he announces, thrusting them out in the air to silently tell her to come get them.

Blushing, she makes her way to Castiel. She mumbles something about not forgetting but running out of time this morning. Castiel couldn't care less whether Charlie forgot or not. He just doesn't want to stare at the damn flowers all day.

Once they're out of his hands, Castiel waves a hand in the air and says, "As you were."

Benny is smirking when Castiel gets back to his office.

"What's so funny?" Castiel asks in a voice that's supposed to be threatening but just makes Benny's lips lift higher. "What?"

"I'm assuming you didn't see the box of chocolates."

Castiel parts his lips, about to ask what Benny means, when he sees a heart-shaped box beside where the flowers had been. He deflates. Goes over to his chair. Slumps down. Sighs dramatically. Then he takes the box and reads the attached note.

Life was like a box of chocolates.  You never know what you're gonna get. - damn glad I got you, babe ♡

"What a jerk," Castiel growls at the box. He rips the lid off and snatches a piece of chocolate before pushing it toward Benny. "Stop fucking smiling and eat. And don't tell him I ate any of it. That asshole knows I can't resist chocolate so you have to lie."

"Sure thing boss," Benny says with a wink. "Sure thing."

----

"Are you Castiel?" a man dressed in a cupid costume asks.

Castiel shakes his head. "Nope."

Unfortunately, he's in the breakroom at work and his employees think this whole battle between Dean and him is hilarious. Balthazar says, "He's lying" at the same time Chuck says, "He's Castiel."

Castiel decides he's going to fire them both.

The cupid smirks and turns to Castiel. Castiel puts a hand up in protest. "Whatever it is, I don't want-"

"Lord Almighty,

I feel my temperature rising

Higher higher

It's burning through to my soul

Boy, boy, boy,

You gonna set me on fire

My brain is flaming

I don't know which way to go

Your kisses lift me higher

Like the sweet song of a choir

You light my morning sky

With burning love"

"Nope," Castiel mumbles under his breath, grabbing his lunch and heading out the door. "Nope, nope, nope."

The damn telegram follows him. Everyone in the office stares, their jaws dropped open as the goddamn CEO is followed around by a glittery man dressed as cupid singing an Elvis song. Castiel isn't even embarrassed. He's just pissed.

Castiel enters his office and shoots a glare at Benny who had conveniently been gone to the bathroom when this all went down but is now back at his rightful place by Castiel's side. "Make him leave."

"It's coming closer

The flames are now lickin' my body

Please won't you help me-"

"Why? He isn't a threat."

"He has a weapon!"

"It's a plastic bow, boss."

"And my chest is a-heaving

Lord Almighty

I'm burning a hole where I lay."

"I own this goddamn building and I'm telling you, head of my security, to kick him out!"

Benny gives him a wry smile. "I'll get right on it, boss. Highest priority."

"Cause your kisses lift me higher

Like the sweet song of a choir-"

"You're fired."

"Oh, well, in that case I suppose he'll get to stay."

"Ah, ah, burning love

I'm just a hunk, a hunk of burning love."

Castiel grabs his office phone and presses 7, gritting his teeth. With every ring that passes, his rage boils. He's a breath away from exploding.

"Singer's Auto, this is Dean."

Castiel slams a finger down on speaker phone and turns to glare at cupid as he finishes the damn song.

"Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love

Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love

Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love

Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love."

Finally, it's over. Cupid winks at him before leaving. Benny smirks. Dean - the jerk that he is - is laughing hysterically on the other line.

"I hate you," Castiel states very matter-of-factly.

"Oh come on!" Dean snorts a laugh. "It's Elvis! You love Elvis!"

"Not anymore! Congratulations, Winchester. You have officially ruined Elvis for me."

Dean laughs harder. "God, I love you babe."

"Gaaaah, no!" Castiel hangs up the call before Dean can use his mystical powers to sweet talk Castiel into forgiving him. It ain't happening.

Castiel bangs his forehead against his desk a few times before deflating against it. "What a jerk."

----

Castiel walks into the first jewelry store he comes across. He storms past all of the stupid Valentine's decorations and up to a young man in a sharp suit who is smiling far too wide if you ask Castiel's opinion. Castiel smacks the palm of his hand on the glass display in front of the man and growls, "I need a goddamn engagement ring."

----

A ring box heavy in his pocket, Castiel stands outside Dean's small two-bedroom house. The yellow paint is peeling back in places, revealing the blue beneath. They come from two completely different worlds. Dean, the eldest son who sacrificed everything he had to raise his baby brother, dropping out of high school, working two jobs, scraping his father off whatever bar floor or sidewalk he ended up on most nights. Castiel, the eldest son who had the world handed to him, private prep school, undergrad at an Ivy league, two master degrees, no student loan debt, a $100,000 no-strings gift from his father to start up his own company.

Dean lives in a house that was foreclosed and rotting on the inside. He’s owned it for three years now. The floors and roof have been replaced. The staircase rebuilt. The walls repainted. The kitchen remodeled. The bathroom gutted. All Dean’s doing since he couldn’t afford to hire contractors.

Castiel lives in a penthouse apartment in a building that’s only seven years old. He got to pick in a catalogue what model of every room he preferred. Professionals molded his home into exactly what he wanted it to be in two weeks, handing it to him furnished and beautiful.

Dean works 60 hour weeks at his uncle’s auto shop, always smelling of oil and sweat. He drinks Jack Daniels. Listens to classic rock. Wears stained jeans and cotton shirts so worn they have holes in the collars and become see-through in certain lighting.

Castiel works 80 hour weeks, but only 30 of them are spent in the office, the rest spent on his phone or at his home so he can lounge on his couch and peruse documents without worrying about employees bothering him. He’s currently working through a bottle of 1926 Macallan. He listens to classical music, as well as plays it himself on his own grand piano that overlooks the city. Wears tailored Brioni suits and silk ties to work, settling for Gucci denim pants and cashmere sweaters when he's casual.

They should have never even met. Castiel would never take his car to a low-grade dealership like Singers. Never. You just don’t do that. Castiel was sure they wouldn’t even know what to do with a custom built Tesla like his. Yet, there Castiel was, broken down outside of the city with a migraine the size of Texas and stubborn impatience that made waiting for the professionals from the dealership that would take 3 hours a choice he wasn’t willing to make. So, he typed in auto shops on google and picked the one nearest to him.

Singers Auto.

Dean had showed up all southern drawl and warm smiles. Flirted right past Castiel’s foul mood. Stroked the hood of his Tesla like it was a cherished pet. Spoke to Castiel confidently about his knowledge on the vehicle. He offered to tow it into the city for Castiel if Castiel wanted but assured Castiel that if he chose to let Dean bring it to Singer's Auto, Dean would be able to take care of it.

“Easy fix,” Dean had said. “In and out. Twenty minutes.”

Castiel had agreed. It was completely out of character but he couldn’t help himself. He wanted more time with the mechanic.

He left that day with a fixed car and Dean Winchester’s number.

They never once brought up the salary gap between them. Some nights they’d crash at Castiel’s. Some nights at Dean’s. They’d go to five-star restaurants and gorge on filet mignon and lobster. They’d go to McDonalds and demolish burgers and chocolate milkshakes. Neither of them so much as blink.

Castiel smiles to himself as he looks at the house again. Where will they live? Castiel could care less, if he’s being honest. He’ll move here if Dean wants. He can deal with the furnace that needs to be kicked every few days as a reminder to work again. He can deal with the pipes that always freeze in the winter. He can deal with the way the fifth step creaks because Dean messed up when building the staircase. As long as he has Dean Winchester, he has everything.

“The hell you doin’ out here?” Dean yells from the front porch, snapping Castiel from his thoughts.

The ring box in his pocket grows hot in anticipation.

“It’s Valentine’s Day!” Castiel yells back, casually walking across the street from where he parked. “I figured if you’re going to insist on celebrating the idiotic holiday, I might as well win by outdoing you.”

“Oh, really?” Dean huffs a laugh, taking the porch steps two at a time until he’s on the grass of his front lawn. “How do you expect to do that?”

Castiel stops when he’s on the sidewalk, about five or so feet between them. He gives Dean a cocky grin that makes Dean’s smirk fall just an inch. Dean Winchester doesn’t like to lose at things - especially all of these silly competitions they get themselves into.

How long can they go without having sex or masturbating, and who will break first and beg the other to fuck him?

Who can eat the most pie in one sitting?

Which one can buy the best Christmas gift?

Who can win the most tickets at the arcade?

How long can they keep their prank war going, and who will be the one to finally throw in the towel when it goes too far?

Who can scare the other badly enough to make them scream?

Which one of them will win the cheesy romantic award of Valentine’s Day 2020.

Castiel won the 1st, 3rd, and 6th.

Dean won the 2nd and 4th.

Neither have won the prank war bet - it’s still on-going.

But Castiel Novak is going to win this damn Valentine’s Day award. If Dean wants to play this game today, it’s on.

“Cas-”

“Dean Winchester,” Castiel says softly, in a voice sickly sweet and loving. He lowers himself to one knee and reaches into his pocket.

Dean’s eyes flare with rage. “No! Don’t you dare!”

“You’re the love of my life-”

“Stop!”

“I can’t imagine any possible future that doesn’t have you in it-”

“I hate you so much right now,” Dean chokes out, eyes welling up.

Castiel smirks and opens the ring box. “Will you marry me?”

“No,” Dean grumbles with a pouty look on his face. Then he growls low in his throat and shakes his arms like a toddler on the verge of a tantrum. “Fuck - fine! Yes. I’ll marry you.”

Grinning, partly because the love of his life just agreed to marry him but mostly because instead of Dean evening the score Castiel is now 2 points ahead, Castiel pushes to his feet and slips the ring on Dean’s finger. He tugs Dean into his arms and kisses him breathless.

“Proposed to me on Valentine’s Day,” Dean says with an incredulous huff, resting his head on Castiel's shoulder and hugging him. “What a jerk.”

If you enjoyed this, please consider supporting my starving artist bum by donating at my Ko-Fi or becoming a Patron <3 Everything helps!

[threeletterslife]

On a Cold Summer Day

→ summary: Maybe deciding to leave California to attend uni in New York was the dumbest decision you've ever made. It's fucking freezing here! You don't think you can survive without the beach twenty minutes away from your living space. At least you have a native New Yorker Kim Seokjin to help you adjust. Kinda.

→ pairing/rating: seokjin x reader | PG-13

→ genre: 70% fluff, 30% crack | college!au

→ warnings: profanity, mentions of sex, implied sex, dating apps lol (tinder & bumble)

→ wordcount: 7.2k

cr. 

This is a motherfucking abomination.

They're asking you to come to class on a Monday at 8 in the morning??? What kind of fucking monstrosity was this? You thought college was supposed to be a goodbye to waking up early. Now you have to take your goddamn philo 101 class at the asscrack of dawn (okay, it's not exactly dawn, but still).

It's too early to be discussing Socrates and human ethics and all that head-aching shit. And even worse, it's fucking freezing in New York!

You're what people call the basic SoCal girl. You grew up with palm trees in your backyard. Anything below 80 degrees is enough to make you bring out your winter jackets (which aren't really real jackets either). In fact, your definition of a winter jacket is slipping on a lightweight flannel over your usual tank top.

But now, in New York, damn the weather wasn't kind. You wear a parka to class and when you're waddling about the campus, you look like a giant marshmallow. Honestly, it's a little humiliating.

It hasn't even been a month and you already miss California. God, you miss the sunshine. And also In-N-Out.

The college workload isn't as bad as you anticipated so even after attending your dreaded morning classes, you're left with a sufficient amount of time. You used to spend those extra hours on Tinder, passing left and right on guys with the swipe of your thumb as you drooled over their shirtless profile pictures.

But ever since you met Jungkook—

Ah, Jungkook. He was a very interesting story. How do you start telling this? Hm.

Well, it really started on the first day of college. The moment after you attended orientation, found your dorm, kissed your parents goodbye and said hello to your roommates, you revisited your trust-worthy dating app, Tinder while lounging on your bed. All that professional business on the first day of uni kind of made you horny.

Back in California, you had a few memorable encounters with your Tinder partners that left you blushing and hot-faced for weeks. When your high school besties found out you were moving away from the Golden State to attend NYU, they would not let it go about all the hot NYC men you would be able to, er for the lack of better word choice, bang.

So you were going to listen to them and hook up with a New York guy. And not even twenty seconds into your swiping party on Tinder, you spot him.

His name is Jeon Jungkook. 20. NYU student. Civil Engineering. Hot damn. You had to take a few seconds to stalk his profile before screaming internally and victoriously swiping right. Now you just had to wait until he swipes right on you. If you're lucky, maybe you could get laid tonight.

And lucky you were.

You dressed in a simple outfit (that'd be easy to discard) and met Jungkook at the Shake Shack for a casual date (in which the burgers are not as half as good as the burgers in In-N-Out). After some casual discussion that honestly didn't last too long, he took you back to his rented apartment.

And then you had the worst sex in your life. Not that Jungkook was lacking in the downstairs department, (no, no he was pretty measurable), but apparently he had a roommate that would not fucking shut up for the life of him. It's not a very sexy experience when you hear someone loudly rage quit Minecraft in the room next to you.

But you and Jungkook had both laughed it off. After all, the two of you already really clicked. And on your part, although you didn't quite have the perfect hook up, you found a likable NYC man. You were surely going to see him again.

See him again you did. Jungkook made sure his roommate would be gone this time before the two of you lay down on his couch and began watching some random rom-com. Halfway through, he initiated some making out, which was as perfect as making out could get. Until you muttered something about how "sexy a NYC man is."

Jungkook laughed so hard he almost fell off the couch. The rest of the night was not spent having sex. Instead, the two of you stayed up late talking about your home states, which both happened to be California. You were so excited about meeting another Californian that your horniness completely dissipated.

And from then on, you and Jungkook became close buddies with slight benefits. (You found him to be a better platonic companion than a sexual partner.) Mostly you came to him to rant about New Yorkers, and he would laugh at you, telling you that you would get used to it.

So, that was your story with Jungkook.

Now you're on your way to his apartment with some Shake Shack to-go so the two of you can watch Shark Tank (which you've been dying to see). When you finally reach Jungkook's apartment and knock on his door, to your surprise Jungkook doesn't answer it. Instead, a tall man—a handsome man—stands looking at your rather puzzled face.

He's so unbelievably hot that your breath hitches.

"Hey," the man says, grinning. "JK's girl?"

"I'm single," you blurt out, no doubt making googly eyes at the man in front of you. "I-I brought some Shake Shack," you offer. "Um, Jungkook and I were, like, supposed to hang out..."

"I'm here!" Jungkook's calls from inside the apartment. "Let her in, bitch!"

"Yesterday I was 'motherfucker' and today, I'm 'bitch,' apparently," the Bitch Man says. "I think JK's forgotten my name." When he laughs, you don't know why you feel flustered. "I'm Seokjin," he says, gesturing for you to come into the apartment. "But you can call me Jin. Or any variation. I don't really care. As long as it's not 'bitch.' " Seokjin glares at Jungkook who's snickering in the background.

"O-Okay," you say, stumbling into the apartment and nearly tripping over your own shoes as you place the takeout bag on the kitchen counter.

"Hey, Y/N!" Jungkook says, slapping your back as he greets you merrily as usual. "Long time no see! I have the show on TV already. You ready?"

"Yeah, yeah," you say quickly. "Dude, but like who the fuck is the hottie?" you whisper urgently to your friend. "Like I don't remember you telling me you know someone like that."

"Oh, him?" Jungkook snorts. "That's my roommate."

Your eyes turn wide as you gape open-mouthed at the handsome figure casually lounging on the couch already. "Shut up. He's the fucking Minecraft rage quitter??"

Jungkook laughs. "Yeah. Not so handsome anymore, huh?"

You're still in shock, stuttering to find an answer, but Jungkook laughs at your pathetic attempt, grabbing the Shake Shack bag and dragging you over to the couch.

"Dude, is he like going to hang out with us?" you ask Jungkook in a low whisper, nodding over at Seokjin who was busily using his phone.

"Yeah, I hope you don't mind," Jungkook tells you as he man spreads on the right side of the couch, putting you in the middle of the two men. "His Bumble date canceled on him last minute. So I'm trying to patch up his enormous ego."

"Fuck, of course I don't mind," you hiss at him. "But if you told me earlier, I wouldn't have come here in sweats. Like I thought it was weird that you ordered two burgers, but like I just thought you had a huge appetite today!"

"I think you look hot in sweats."

"Well, thanks." Wait. You freeze. That was definitely not Jungkook's voice. A blush creeps up your cheeks as you turn to your left, only to see Seokjin, gazing at you with friendly eyes and a bright smile. "O-Oh!" you sputter. "T-Thanks, Jin. Sorry, it's just that like, I, uh I take first impressions pretty... um, seriously."

The man on your left laughs out loud. "Y/N, my first impression of you was weeks ago. I heard you and Jungkook through the wall."

Your mouth drops open. "No."

"Yes," Jin insists.

"NO!" you shout, leaning back from Seokjin and squishing Jungkook in the process. "Were you trying to be a loud gamer to drown out our noises?!" you shriek.

"Yes?" Seokjin says so obviously that he even phrases it like it's a question.

"Oh, god," you groan, burying your face in your hands. "I'm sorry. I'm, like, actually so, so sorry."

Jungkook tries hard not to burst out laughing at your humiliation and even Jin can't help but grin.

"It's fine," Seokjin says. "You made it up to me with the burgers!" he exclaims, fishing out his Shake Shack hamburger from the bag and breathing in deeply. "Ahh," he sighs dreamily, "the best hamburger money can buy."

Okay. You have to admit that his perfect New York accent is hot, but you can't just ignore what he had just uttered. "I think In-N-Out has the best hamburger money can buy," you say, crossing your arms over your chest quite authoritatively. You tend to become quite defensive about Californian culture.

Jungkook snickers at how serious you've become in a matter of seconds but he stays silent.

Seokjin looks at you with his eyebrows raised and an amused smile on his lips. "Really?" he says. "You should get used to the Shake Shack then. We don't have In-N-Out around here."

Your mouth drops open for the second time today as you jerk your body around to stare at Jin. "What the fuck do you mean there's no In-N-Out?"

The man shrugs, relaxing back with his burger in hand and grinning at you. "I mean, we do have better burgers at the Shake Shack."

You groan, collapsing back on the couch and staring defeatedly at the bright TV screen. "I miss California."

"Jungkook went through the same thing," Seokjin assures you. You slowly turn your head to look at him. "I helped him assimilate to NYC life. And now look at him! He's so good at acting like a pure-blood New-Yorker that you even called him a 'sexy NYC man!' "

Oh, no. That particular memory sears through your head, leaving you flustered and quite frankly, frustrated.

"What?? How do you even—" you pause to glare at Jungkook who suddenly refuses to look your way. "I can't believe you told him, Jungkook!"

"We're roommates. We tell each other everything," Seokjin proudly says.

"Oh, god," you mutter under your breath.

"Seok's right, though," Jungkook pipes up. "He's the man to go to when you want to get into the NYC spirit! The dude was born and raised here. He knows everything you need to know about New York. Hang out with him a few times and you'll surely have to drop your SoCal girl status."

You huff. "But like I love being a SoCal girl!"

"We'll see how fast that can change," Seokjin grins.

This isn't a date... is it?

Seokjin had offered to take you out to wander about New York and guide you around to sight-see. He'd told you to dress casually, but how casual is New York casual?? You end up wearing a wine-red sleeveless romper and some cute gladiator sandals, which would honestly make you feel underdressed if you walked anywhere around LA like this.

But one step out into the cold night air, your teeth begin to chatter aggressively. Seokjin's already waiting for you outside of your dorm building and he laughs out loud when he sees you shivering violently.

"You sound like a woodpecker," he snorts. "You look cute, by the way."

"T-T-Thanks," you stutter. "Holy shit, Seokjin, how are you in a T-shirt and shorts right now? It's so motherfucking cold, goddammit!"

Jin throws his head to laugh—almost as if you told the funniest joke in the world. Which, you did not. "It's only 70 degrees, Y/N!"

"It is not!" you argue. "Shiver me fucking timbers, it has to be at least thirty degrees. Where's the snow??"

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have worn a sleeveless romper then," Seokjin teases you. "Do you want to go back inside and change?"

"No!" you say. "It's called fashion. Back in California I could wear whatever the fuck I wanted. Like, do you understand that my wardrobe's being limited here??"

Seokjin shrugs, nudging you playfully as he gestures toward the night sky. The brisk air nips at your bare arms and tickles your nose, making you huddle closer to the man next to you. He merely smiles at your action and wraps a warm arm around you. "Welcome to New York, Y/N."

School keeps you busy for a good few months. Meeting up with Jungkook to rant about New York's rat problem and nasty subways while drooling over California's great wonders has become a rarity especially when you're trying hard to maintain your straight-A streak (literally since the day you were born). You haven't even touched Tinder on your phone for a good three months! (And that has nothing to do with the fact that you kinda might have a crush on Kim Seokjin.)

You've been texting him a few times a week (though you've never really gotten to meet up after your first, uh, "date." But the flirty texts he sends you and the promise of meeting up after all of your major exams makes you work twice as hard on your schoolwork. Jin also incessantly teases you about your strange Californian dialect, but you don't mind—especially when you can bag him for replacing every 't' sound with a 'd,' thanks to his New York accent. (He keeps pronouncing 'the' like 'da' and you have to admit, it's a little endearing.)

By the time Thanksgiving Break rolls around, you're deep in the process of organizing your lecture notes so you don't let yourself go out for a whole week.

And when Winter Break rushes in, you and Jungkook take off to California to reunite with family, leaving Seokjin to drown alone in the New York festivity while you and Kook enjoy a hot winter (literally). But the two of you make sure to come back to New York during New Year's to celebrate the iconic ball drop.

"I don't have to watch it on TV anymore!" you had said triumphantly.

When the countdown had signaled a New Year, you weren't lip-locking with either of your friends (but you didn't really mind). Instead, Seokjin had popped a bottle of apple cider (because you and Jungkook couldn't legally drink yet). Jin sipped his own champagne as he watched his younger friends get sugar drunk on apple cider.

All too soon, Winter Break is over. And now's the start of a new semester at NYU, but you already know your classes and professors so you finally let yourself relax. (Jungkook always tells you it's crazy how strongly you radiate work-hard and play-hard energy.)

Yet no matter how long you spend in New York, you just can't get used to it. It must be because you've mostly been stuck inside studying.

The moment you meet up with Jin again, you're brought into the world of New York once more.

"I missed your accent!" you yell as you nearly bulldoze over Seokjin to hug him when he opens the door to his apartment for you.

"Wow. You didn't miss me?" he jokes as he embraces you, tugging you into his apartment and closing the door behind you. "I thought you'd be happier to see me and not hear my insanely hot accent."

"Keep talking, please," you giggle, burying your face against his chest.

"You have no shame, Y/N," Seokjin sighs, but he lets you cling onto him as he waddles backward and towards the small living space with the TV set in it. "JK's out on Tinder date so the apartment is for us," he tells you as he practically throws you on the couch. "What do you wanna do?"

You huff, straightening up your clothes and glaring at Jin for tossing you. "I appreciate it. Like I'm totally not a fragile package," you mutter sarcastically. "I don't know. I guess we can, like, do anything. Are you in the mood of staying in..? Or, like, do you wanna go out?"

"Hmmm," Seokjin pretends to think. He collapses on the couch next to you, staring up at the ceiling with a thoughtful look on his face. "How about we go out?" he says. "You've been cramped up in your dorm room for so long, I think you need fresh air."

"It's like you can read my fucking mind," you grin. "Where to?"

"We're going to get some New York-style pies!"

"Oh, shit," you say. "I love pies."

Apple pie, blueberry pie, key lime pie... Fuck, I'm practically salivating already.

Seokjin winks at you, hoisting you up on your feet and marching toward the apartment door. "Pies, here we come!"

"I fucking thought we were getting pies, Seokjin. Like, dude. This is a pizza parlor," you grumble, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Oh, Y/N," Seokjin laughs, ruffling your hair with affection, but when you glare daggers into him, he stops with a nervous chuckle. "Well, we New Yorkers call whole pizzas, pies. It makes more sense that way."

You nearly rip out your hair. "How does that make sense? Pizza and pie are two completely different things! What do you call your pies then??"

"We call them pies!"

"Huh??"

"Whatever," Seokjin snorts. "You need to get used to all of this New Yorker dialect and slang," he says, nudging you. "What do you want on your pizza pie? I'm getting a whole one so JK can have the leftovers."

"Um, I usually get cheese, mushrooms, goat cheese and oregano," you say. "But, like, I'll take anything except pineapples. Pineapples on pizza is a fucking sin."

Jin gasps loudly, putting a hand on his heart. "I always put pineapples on my pies!"

"Oh no. Don't tell me you're one of those people," you groan. "Come on, Jin, I thought you knew better! Like I swear, it's a New Yorker thing—"

"Don't you try to put the blame on New York!" Jin says. "Besides, JK likes pineapples on his pizza pies too, so maybe you're the weird one."

"God, not Kook too."

"Well, we'll get half with pineapples and half without," Seokjin compromises. "How does that sound?"

"Abominable," you mutter under your breath. If there are pineapples anywhere on the pizza, every slice will still have that disgusting tangy taste to it.

"Sorry?"

"I-I mean, that sounds great!" you feign an over-enthused look on your face as you pump your fist in the air. "But you're paying."

Seokjin rolls his eyes but agrees.

And the rest of the time spent goes rather smoothly. The two of you poke fun at each other as usual, and you only mildly get offended when Seokjin pulls the:

"Hey, Y/N?"

"Mm?" you say with your mouth stuffed with pizza (you never thought New York-style pizza could beat the Californian-style but here you are).

"I need to ask you one more thing before we wrap up and I walk you to your dorm," he says, handing you a napkin when you finally swallow your food.

"Thanks," you say. "Ask away."

"I've always wondered," Seokjin says as he leans forward, resting his chin on his upright hand, "why do you excessively say the word, 'like?' "

You let out an unflattering yelp, almost choking on your own spit. Quickly, you take a sip of your ice-cold water to ease the scratchiness of your throat. "Like, what do you mean?" you manage to choke out after an embarrassingly awkward pause.

"I mean, I'm just curious why you say 'like' every five seconds," Jin says, cocking his head. "Is it a SoCal thing? Or a Y/N thing?"

"It is not a Y/N thing! Like a lot of other girls do this, I swear. And it's not like I wanna say it," you huff. "I guess it's like this kind of habit that I, like, can't really get rid of. I dunno. I've heard it was a SoCal thing, but like I'm not too sure."

"Five," Seokjin says.

"What?"

"You said 'like' five times in approximately fifteen seconds," Jin says. "That's about one 'like' every three seconds. That's quite a lot. And I take back my previous hypothesis in which I said you said 'like' every five seconds. I guess it was three."

"I literally hate you!" you scoff. "When did you get all mathematician with me?"

"Since I applied to NYU as a compsci major," Seokjin answers, "which was about three years ago."

You huff. "Whatever I'm gonna major in, I hope it's not related to math."

"Come to think of it," Jin hums, "I never got to know your major." He brushes the pizza crumbs off from his hands and stands up to toss the used napkins away in a nearby trash can.

You stand up as well, taking up the pizza box as Seokjin guides you out of the pizza parlor. "I'm undecided," you tell him. "Like I really don't know what I want to do."

"Well, you're an undergrad, so you'll find something you'll like soon," Jin assures you. "You've got time."

"Thanks," you smile. "Honestly, you're the GOAT."

"Excuse me, I'm a what?" Seokjin looks mildly offended.

"The GOAT?" you say. "You're not even in your thirties yet, keep up!"

"A goat??" Jin bellows. "A fucking barn animal??"

You want to facepalm but your hands are occupied with the pizza box. "The Greatest Of All Time???" When Seokjin still looks puzzled, you shake your head, "Might wanna check out Twitter now and then, old man."

"Maybe that's a California thing!" Jin protests. "It's totally a California thing. I mean, look, Y/N, New Yorkers aren't that crazy to go around calling people barn animals."

"New Yorkers are definitely crazier than Californians," you say. "Oh, and we have to cross the street soon, my dorm's close."

"No way in hell we're crazier than you," Seokjin snorts. "C'mon we can cross the street here."

The here that Seokjin's refers to is a street full of cars and no pedestrian crossing. "Are you really suggesting that we jaywalk?" you say incredulously. "This just proves my point further!"

"What?? Jaywalking is normal," he argues. "Plus, it saves time. We New Yorkers are busy!"

"Puh-lease," you say. "You won't be so busy when you're dead," you point out. "There was this girl who went to my high school, right? And like one day we all heard that she died after some stupid car hit her when she was jaywalking. Dude, her boyfriend's still mourning her death. I think his name was Taehyun. Or Daehyung. Or Taehyung? I don't remember. But my point is," you pause dramatically, "that I don't want to die so we should not jaywalk."

"Californians are way too laid back," Seokjin sighs. "Fine!" He throws his hands into the air. "We'll find a crosswalk, then. I'll spare your life."

You giggle, nudging him to the side. "Thank you. Chivalry is not dead."

"Shivering is definitely not dead either," Jin jokes. "It's only sixty degrees, Y/N. And you're wearing a whole coat! Do you really need me to give you my jacket?"

"Oh shut up," you say, hugging the warm pizza box closer to your chest. "New York at night is freezing. Like I still haven't gotten used to it. And no, I don't need your jacket," you scoff, upturning your nose away from Jin.

"Fine, but if you become a frozen popsicle, I'm selling you off to a museum."

"Wow," you deadpan. "I rescind what I said earlier. You are not the GOAT. You are the WOAT."

"I don't have to be a genius to understand what that acronym is," Jin snorts. "And I am not the worst of all time. That's Jungkook. You know, he brought in his Tinder date again yesterday and they've been really, really loud in the bedroom. I can't fucking sleep."

"Oh, poor Jinnie," you coo. "What are you gonna do?"

"I just blasted the Baby Shark song yesterday on my speaker and they stopped on their own," he shrugs. "It's an instant turn-off, apparently."

"That's evil!" you cry. "But so genius."

"I know, I know," Jin laughs. "Any more song suggestions to prevent Jungkook from banging at the craziest hours of the night?"

"Hm..." you say. "What about the Winx Club theme song? Or the Pokémon theme song? Or, oh my god, like what about the Sofia the First theme song???"

"What the fuck are the Winx Club and Sofia the First?" Jin says.

"No way," you say, shivering slightly when a gust of wind decides to torment you and your hair. Pulling the strands of your hair from your mouth, you yell, "You're missing out! I grew up with the Winx Club! And I only watched Sofia the First because my younger sister liked it so much."

"You have a younger sister?" Seokjin asks. "Well, figures. I'm an only child so the only things I watched as a kid were Transformers and the Avengers." He snorts. "Maybe a little bit of Pokémon."

"Dude, I could name all 151 Pokémon from Generation I," you say. "I was obsessed."

"Oh yeah? I can name all 807!" Seokjin declares. "Every one of them from Generation I to VII."

"God, you have me beat," you giggle, shrugging your shoulders. “I thought you watched only a little bit of Pokémon!” 

“Maybe I just have a fantastic memory,” Seokjin teases.

You roll your eyes, though you’re grinning uncontrollably. Sighing, you turn to a stop in front of your dorm building, holding out the pizza box for Jin to take. "Oh, wow, what do you know? We're already here."

"That went by quickly," Jin laughs, taking the pizza box. "Time always flies quickly with you."

You don't know if he really meant the last part, but you blush an embarrassing color of fire-engine red of which you hope he can't see because of the darkness.

"I agree," you admit. "I had fun. And thanks for the pizza. New York-style reigns over what I'm used to back in California."

"No problem," Seokjin grins fondly at you. "Guess I'll see you around?"

"Yeah," you smile. "Just text me whenever Jungkook's being too loud on his sexscapades. I'll send some good turn-off music recommendations like right away!"

Seokjin laughs, nodding his head in agreement. "I can't wait."

I can't wait either.

Your crush on Seokjin literally amplifies by tenfolds every time you hang out with him, which is quite often these days.

One "date" with Jin had turned into two. Two turned into three. Then, five, then eight. Now you're seventeen "dates" in, you and Jin have yet to define your relationship with each other. But you suppose you don't mind.

It isn't very often that you're so emotionally attracted to someone. I mean, how long has it been since I liked someone before I had sex with them??

But your relationship with Seokjin is special, and you're willing to drag on these "dates" (at least you hope they're dates) if it means that you and he will eventually become a couple. Unless Seokjin's not attracted to you in that way.

But that's crazy. Who isn't attracted to you in that way?? Okay, maybe a lot of guys. But you've always had a sixth sense when it came to men! Usually, you crush on the same ones that like you back. So maybe something could really blossom out of your current relationship with Kim Seokjin.

Unless he friendzoned you the moment he heard you have sex with Jungkook.

You are in quite a dilemma.

Two weeks later, your dilemma has extended from your love life to your academic life. There is pressure from your parents and peers to choose a major—especially since you've already lasted one semester in college already.

You have to start studying for the final exams as well. And everything is driving you nuts.

You've always considered going to med school, but law school doesn't sound so bad either. You have to choose your majors according to what job you want to have in the future, but you don't know what you want to do at all! You're just really good at doing what you're given to do. So, honestly, if someone pulled a random major from a hat, you could probably take it and do something with it.

Hm. That idea doesn't sound that bad.

You end up FaceTiming Seokjin for guidance.

"Well, you look like you haven't gotten sleep," he comments when he sees your dark circles and frenzied hair.

"I need to choose a major," you tell him immediately. "Like, right now. In the next twenty minutes or I'm going to blow."

"Oh, shit. How can I help?"

"Okay, so I made this huge list of NYU's majors and like all you have to do is randomly scroll through the list and pick one!" you say. "Easy! Whatever you pick, I'll do it!"

Seokjin scrunches his face. "I don't think that's a good idea, Y/N. What if I pick something insane? Like bagpiping? Or mining?"

You roll your eyes. "I don't think NYU even has those majors. C'mon pick one, hurry up! I'll close my eyes. Tell me when you're done."

Seokjin looks at the long list of majors you had sent him, shaking his head at you in disbelief. He doesn't want you potentially ruining your future because he picked a shitty major for you. And you looked pretty serious about this idea too. As if the moment Seokjin chose a major, you'd pick it and run with it.

Jin's not going to jeopardize your future like that. He doesn't even have to look at the list to declare what he thinks would be best for you. (And besides, if you didn't like it, you could always change majors... And if you couldn't change majors, you can't really blame it on him because you made him choose randomly. So it would be your fault. So either way he's immune!)

"I landed on business management," Seokjin says. "You can open your eyes."

Your eyes are wide the moment you open them. "Management?" you gasp. For a second, Seokjin thinks you're going to throw a tantrum, but a huge grin erupts on your face. "Oh my god! Management! Why didn't I think of that before?? It's perfect! Thank you, Jin! Thank you so much! You're literally fucking magical."

Seokjin's almost taken aback by your positive response but he plays along with it rather coolly. "I am pretty fucking magical. You're welcome."

"You just reduced my stress levels by fifty percent," you say, sighing as you fall back on your bed. "I still have to study for all my final exams... Not very fun... You know, back in California, if I ever felt stressed out or something, I'd, like, drive to the beach for a fun day with friends."

Seokjin cracks a smile. "Yeah, well we have sewage water here in New York. You can swim in there if you miss the beach so much."

"Sounds appetizing," you deadpan. "One day, I'm going to take you to SoCal and show you the beaches."

"That honestly sounds great, Y/N," Jin says. "Never been to the beach before."

Your jaw drops open in shock. "No fucking way, Jin. No fucking way."

"Well, you never saw snow before until you came to New York," Jin points out.

"Yikes," you mutter. "Touché."

Seokjin smiles fondly at you before shaking out of his little reverie. "Hey, you have to study, right? I'll stop bothering you."

"Oh, please," you laugh. "You're not bothering me. I feel even better now. Not even a beach trip could elate me to this extent."

And it's true. Just talking to Seokjin for a few minutes dissipates all of your pent-up stress. And you have one less problem to worry about—you finally have an idea about what major you want to pursue! Seokjin is a walking miracle.

Maybe after your exams, you'll have to ask him out on an official date. If you don't chicken out, that is.

It is officially summer!

You've maintained your straight A's, have finally decided your major and even found a part-time job at a local thrift shop. Life is great.

It would've been better though if one, it wasn't so fucking cold during May and two if you were dating Seokjin.

Jungkook's been teasing you about how head-over-heels whipped you are for Jin, but you threaten to hack into JK's Tinder account and lock an unflattering photo of him on his profile picture whenever his teasing becomes extremely annoying. It's so strange that you've been stuck on one crush for nearly eight months now since usually, you have a new 'boy toy' every other week.

Seokjin is special.

So special that you literally gave up your hookups. And sex. You also deleted your Tinder account. You are serious about this man.

There's something about him that makes your insides twist in a funny way and your heart feel warm and fuzzy whenever he texts you. Have you mentioned how attentive to your needs he is? The man's a genius gift-giver! On your birthday (April 4th), he bought you an embroidered double-sided jacket that not only made a bold fashion statement but also kept you warm in the abominable New York weather.

God, you might even love this man.

You should confess to him soon before some other girl snatches him. But it seems as if Seokjin has stopped going on dates, and the only girl he actively hangs out with is you. (You had to ask Jungkook to figure that out.)

So maybe you have a chance.

And today is the day to act upon it.

Seokjin promised to take you out on a walk around Central Park after you finished your shift at the thrift shop. He's eagerly waiting with a warm cup of hot chocolate for you by the time you're finished.

"Hey!" you say, beaming. "Thanks for the drink."

"No problem," Seokjin answers, winking at you before sipping his own ice coffee. "Central Park's about forty minutes away from here. Are you up for the walk?"

"I walked around a lot in California so maybe I should ask you if you're up for the walk," you smile, strutting out of the shop with Jin quickly at your heels.

"Where's there to walk in California??" he asks when he catches up to you.

"Oh my god, Jin. You're forgetting about all the cool shit in LA!" you say. "I walked to Urth Cafe like every day after school with my friends. And then like we'd have these photoshoots on Melrose Avenue... Man, sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I went to UCLA."

"You got accepted into UCLA??"

"Yeah," you say sheepishly. "I'm kind of glad I didn't go, though." You would’ve never met Seokjin.

"Oh?" Seokjin laughs. "Are you finally getting accustomed to New York, then?"

"No way," you say, shaking your head fervidly. "Dude, do you not see the jacket I'm wearing right now? It's freezing! And you're wearing a short-sleeve shirt!"

"It's the jacket I bought you!" Jin exclaims, smiling. "Well, the weather here's something you gotta get used to. By the time you graduate, though, you'll be fine."

"I hope so," you say. "I really, really hope so."

"But I mean, other than the weather situation, I feel like New York is your home now," Jin says. "You like the people here, at least, right?" He bats his eyelashes flirtatiously and you roll your eyes, though the butterflies in your stomach wake up from their slumber. "How have your Tinder dates been?"

"Oh, uh..." You awkwardly scratch your head. "I deleted my account."

Seokjin laughs out loud. "Oh no! Were the New York guys not cutting it??"

You flush, biting your lip and twiddling with your fingers. He kinda put you on the spot, here. Maybe you should come clean now...? You originally planned to confess at Central Park, but maybe it’s smarter to confess earlier. (That way, if he feels the same you two can have your official first date at Central Park. And if he doesn't feel the same way, the two of you can go home before visiting Central Park to avoid awkwardness. It's a master plan!)

"Well, I wouldn't know," you shrug coolly. "The only New York guy I had sex with turned out to be a Californian dude in disguise," you giggle. "And... I just didn't find the need to get with other guys."

"Oh?" Seokjin smiles amusedly. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Like, I don't know," you sigh. Your head is jumbled with words you've recited and also the words that you just thought of to string together. Your chest feels heavy and your stomach twists in knots but you force yourself to follow through. With a deep breath you let it all out: "I guess like I've had a teensy weensy crush on you since like the moment we met," you start slowly, carefully. "And I'd uh, I'd like to officially date you, if you, like, feel the same way as me..." you trail off, looking at Seokjin to figure out if his initial reaction would give away his true feelings toward you.

But to your utmost relief, he grins. That's a good sign—it has to be!

"Y/N..." he smiles. "Five. Again! In twenty seconds this time! One 'like' in every four seconds. You're slowly getting rid of your SoCal dialect, look at that!"

When Seokjin sees the unamused look on your face, he throws his head back and laughs. "I was just teasing you, love," he says. "You know, I deleted Bumble the day I met you in person?"

"Really?" you squeal, turning to Jin with such high velocity that you almost spill your hot chocolate. Your insides melt, and your head repeatedly echoes the way he had called you 'love.' You feel faint.

"Yeah," Jin says. "So we're official, aren't we?"

"Hell yes!" you say.

"Our first date is at Central Park," Jin laughs. "This was the best timing ever. It's even in the summer. You know, when everyone scrambles to find love. We don't have to look anymore!"

You snort, linking your arms together and leaning onto Seokjin—who just now became your boyfriend. "I still can't fucking believe it's summer," you sigh, shaking your head. "Like dude, it's so fucking cold that I'm drinking hot chocolate!"

"Oh!" Seokjin exclaims. "Right! The hot chocolate?"

"What?"

"Open the lid, please," he grins. "A pleasant surprise will be waiting for you."

Carefully, you do as he says, only to find the white cream on the hot chocolate to be shaped into a sort-of mangled heart. You gasp, staring at the heart in utter shock. "Were you going to ask me out today??"

"You beat me to it," Jin laughs. "Saved me the trouble, love."

The butterflies in your stomach flutter about every time he calls you that (which was only two times so far, but still).

"We're really meant to be, then," you giggle.

"Like, we really are."

Seokjin taught you many things. How to be a good New Yorker without even being a native. How to hail a taxi gracefully. How to get a seat on the Subway. How to order the best pizza pie ever. And most of all, he taught you commitment.

Never have you been this committed to a man in all your life. That being said, you've only lived for nineteen years. But then again, it's hard to change your habits of being finicky with guys in your high school years. Yet they're changed now.

You've said goodbye to Tinder, to hookups, to meaningless sex. You've said hello to your boyfriend, to continue your pursuit of business management, to navigate around New York.

July becomes your favorite month quite easily when you realize it is possible for New York to have hot weather too. You bring out your short skirts and tank tops and have a fashion show every day choosing which outfits to wear. (Seokjin becomes your personal outfit-picker against his will.)

You have to say, New York isn't so bad. You haven't really missed California at all for a while.

"You know," you tell your boyfriend as he braids your hair for you so you can complete your outfit of the day with a stylish, “effortless” side braid.

"Hm?" Jin answers, his tongue peeking out of his lips from hard concentration.

"I think I'm getting used to this place," you say, turning around to smile at your boyfriend.

Seokjin laughs, tying your braid in place before leaning in to kiss your lips. "Finally!" he says between small pecks. "It took you awhile."

"Oh, come on. It didn't take me that long. It hasn't even been a year yet!" you protest. "I love New York. Honestly!"

Your boyfriend smiles. "When do you think you'll start to talk in a New York accent?"

"Never!" you say. "I'm keeping my 'likes' and 'dudes,' thank you! I have to keep some part of my Californian self."

"Oh, trust me," Seokjin snorts. "You will never lose the fashion-crazed part of you. Please don't make me fly on a plane to go to Coachella."

"Damn, you know me too well," you huff. "Fine. No Coachella. But I want to take you down Hollywood one day. Or at least Urth Cafe. No, holy shit, I need to take you to the beach! Or In-N-Out! There are so many places to go in LA! I'll be the best tour guide ever, Jin!"

"Aw, love," Seokjin says, nuzzling your nose against his. "I can't wait for my tour in the Golden State with my native Californian girlfriend."

"I can't wait either!" you giggle, kissing his lips while placing your hands against his soft cheeks. "I had the wonderful experience of getting my own, personal native New Yorker tour guide, so it's only fair I let you on a tour around my home state too!"

"We'll go during winter break, how's that?" Seokjin says. "We can celebrate Christmas in California."

You grin. "It'll be a tropical Christmas. You up for that?"

"I'm down!" Seokjin says. "I've never lived through a hot winter before. I'll have to see all the rave about California myself."

You wink at him. "You'll love it. Like, really, really love it."

"If I don't, you have to try pineapple pizza pie," Seokjin says. "Bet."

"Oh, you're on!"

All too soon, summer is over and the fall season creeps upon you and the rest of New York City. The freezin' season is back and ready to haunt you and turn your mornings into motherfucking abominations.

Except, it's not as cold as you last remember it. Maybe this year's winter in New York will be warmer for whatever reason. Or maybe it's because Seokjin always does a great job of keeping you warm when it's cold. (You definitely think the latter is the true answer.)

Because with Seokjin, even waking up on Mondays at 8 in the cold fucking morning isn't so abominable after all.

masterlist

[kangtaebins]

Weird Asks That Say A Lot

I said I was going to just answer all of these bc of boredom,, and so here I am

1. Coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Teacups are aesthetically pleasing idc what anyone says

2. Chocolate bars or lollipops? Lollipops

3. Bubblegum or cotton candy? Cotton candy supremacy

4. How did your elementary school teachers describe you? I was told that I was a leader a lot, and was told that I was very intelligent. Ah yes, I suffered from gifted kid burn out in high school-

5. Do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Look, plastic cups are the best. Specifically the ones with the lids and reusable straws

6. Pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? It truly depends on the day bc some days I would say goth and other days I’d say grunge, but most days- pastel

7. Earbuds or headphones? Earbuds

8. Movies or TV shows? TV shows bc- idk actually I’m just not a movie person

9. Favorite smell in the summer? I have a weird obsession with the smell of cheap sunscreen and I have no clue why

10. Game you were best at in p.e.? I hated gym in high school and rarely participated despite the teacher being irritated with me (truly she gave up after a few months bc I really did not care at all) HOWEVER- I went to town in volleyball and still enjoy playing volleyball v much

11. What do you have for breakfast on an average day? I don’t eat breakfast often,,, 

12. Name of your favorite playlist? Probably my Navy or Indigo playlist

13. Lanyard or key ring? Key ring 

14. Favorite non-chocolate candy? Anything green apple!!!

15. Favorite book you read as a school assignment? I actually genuinely enjoyed Romeo And Juliet tbh

16. Most comfortable position to sit in? I always curl up in a ball on the couch, but in a chair I manspread ngl

17. Most frequently worn pair of shoes? Nike slides <//3

18. Ideal weather? Between 50-70 degrees, sunny but not warm, being able to wear a hoodie and not be hot or cold

19. Sleeping position? I usually either sleep on my left side or on my stomach (my back once in a while when it’s hurting bc I’m a hag)

20. Preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? I write on my phone more than anything

21. Obsession from childhood? Hm- I was really obsessed with High School Musical as a kid. My friend and I would put it on and lip sync to the songs and pretend we were the characters

22. Role model? Is it- wrong to say myself? Bc I feel like that sounds arrogant but genuinely it’s bc I’m constantly trying to better myself mentally and learn and grow. Idk I just am proud of who I am and look to myself when I need to find motivation

23. Strange habits? Strange? Idk if it’s strange but I’m constantly twiddling with the hem of my sleeves bc I love the feeling of it

24. Favorite crystal? Citrine 

25. First song you remember hearing? WH- bitch idk tf

26. Favorite activity to do in warm weather? Stay tf inside in the air conditioning

27. Favorite activity to do in cold weather? Stay tf inside in the heat

28. Five songs to describe you? To describe me?? Girl idk I'm all over the place. How about songs that resonate with me instead,,, Alive by Khalid, Paranoid by Lauv, Phobia by Dvwn, Fake Smile by Ariana Grande, and Breathin by Ariana Grande

29. Best way to bond with you? Truly I'm not very difficult to get along with, just don't be an asshole. Talk to me about psychology, current events, say Soobin is the cutest to exist idk it's not that hard

30. Places that you find sacred? I- hm. I'm not like a church person or anything so idk. Maybe just anything really old or places with very detailed and unique architecture

31. What outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? I don't own many clothes,,, let alone nice clothes. I also don't really dress to impress I'd much rather be comfortable

32. Top five favorite vines? Oh god if I h a d to pick???? The lipstick in the Valentino bag, they were roommates, it's an avocado- thaaanks, jared 19, and uh,,, zach stooppp you're gonna get in trouble

33. Most used phrase in your phone? Tbh it's probably "girl what-" or "no bc"

34. Advertisements you have stuck in your head? That 877-CASH-NOW ONE JFC

35. Average time you fall asleep? Between 11pm-1am

36. What is the first meme you remember ever seeing? Probably the troll face one or smth

37. Suitcase or duffel bag? Suitcase

38. Lemonade or tea? I mix them together!

39. Lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Lemon meringue pie bc I don't really like cake

40. Weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Y'all I- went to a hs/college mixed school,, I've seen it all. Weirdest?? Idk but one weird thing I remember was when we were making whistles in art and some dude made a penis whistle 😭

41. Last person you texted? My best friend :))

42. Jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket pockets

43. Hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Hoodie 100%

44. Favorite scent for soap? I love soaps that smell like soap. Like ok duh I know that sounds dumb but yk what I mean? I don't want lemon or mint or whatever, I like the plain soap smell

45. Which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Fantasy

46. Most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Oversized t-shirt, no pants. I question anyone that is comfortable sleeping with pants on-

47. Favorite type of cheese? Feta!

48. If you were a fruit, what kind would you be? I feel like I'd be a pineapple and I have no clue why

49. What saying or quote do you live by? Not necessarily a quote but more of a thought: live for yourself, enjoy each day, do what gives you joy

50. What made you laugh the hardest you ever have? I have had so many instances in which I have laughed so hard I peed and to even attempt to name one is impossible

51. Current stresses? Making sure my family gets their vaccines and stays safe

52. Favorite font? I don't think I have one? Anything except comic sans

53. What is the current state of your hands? What does this even mean 💀 I mean,, they're holding my phone, cold, and my nails are unpolished

54. What did you learn from your first job? That people are assholes but I'm capable of not giving a fuck bc life is not that damn serious

55. Favorite fairy tale? Is The Three Little Pigs considered a fairy tale?

56. Favorite tradition? Putting up the Christmas tree with my mom :( it's always a lot of fun

57. The three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Depression, grief, and hopefully one day- smth I'm currently dealing with

58. Four talents you’re proud of having? Makeup!! But also: singing, crying on command, and tying cherry stems with my tongue

59. If you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Sick of these bitches

60. If you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? I don't watch anime so idk

61. Favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? It's this line from Eleanor & Park: "Eleanor was right: She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something."

62. Seven characters you relate to? Holy hell, 7?? Probably won't get that many but hm,,, Darlene from Roseanne, Hermione from Harry Potter, Emily from Pretty Little Liars maybe?? Idk I suddenly blanked

63. Five songs that would play in your club? As if it's Your Last by BP, anything from SHINee, anything from Ariana, also anything Rihanna, just a bunch of women tbh

64. Favorite website from your childhood? FUCKING WEBKINZ BRO

65. Any permanent scars? I have a few on my arms idk where they came from tbh, I also have one on my hand from my sister 🧍🏻‍♀

66. Favorite flower(s)? Sunflowers!!! I also really love lilacs 💔

67. Good luck charms? My dog's collar that I wear as a bracelet

68. Worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? Licorice-

69. A fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? It takes repeating a piece of information 12 times at random to memorize it completely

70. Left or right handed? Right

71. Least favorite pattern? Fucking chevron- and realistic camo, and anything with the American flag

72. Worst subject? Yall im awful at history. American history, world history, all of it-

73. Favorite weird flavor combo? Either pickles and peanut butter or cheese and grapes

74. At what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? I'm stubborn but also always in pain so I've become numb to a lot of body pains. I have to be at like a 7-8 before I take smth otherwise I'd always be taking it

75. When did you lose your first tooth? I was probably like 5 I was definitely in Kindergarten

76. What’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? I fw baked potatoes

77. Best plant to grow on a windowsill? I have a love for succulents

78. Coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Oh my- I don't drink coffee but coffee from a gas station

79. Which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? Driver's license for sure

80. Earth tones or jewel tones? Jewel tones

81. Fireflies or lightning bugs? I say both,, but I think I say lightning bugs more

82. PC or console? PC

83. Writing or drawing? Both

84. Podcasts or talk radio? Podcasts definitely

84. Barbie or polly pocket? Barbie

85. Fairy tales or mythology? Fairy tales

86. Cookies or cupcakes? C o o k i e s

87. Your greatest fear? Losing people I love

88. Your greatest wish? To live comfortably and be a great mother

89. Who would you put before everyone else? My family

90. Luckiest mistake? Guessing on 90% of a test and getting an A 💀

91. Boxes or bags? Bags are easier to carry-

92. Lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Fairy lights!!

93. Nicknames? Sam, Sammi, my sister calls me Sams, my best friend calls me Bub, and my gf calls me Baby if that counts- 👀

94. Favorite season? Fall omg it's gorgeous and has perfect temperatures

95. Favorite app on your phone? ✨tumblr✨

96. Desktop background? Its literally a pic of Soobin, Taehyun, and Beomgyu

97. How many phone numbers do you have memorized? Like 4-5

98. Favorite historical era? The one where white people learn their fucking place and stop being racist, homophobic, classist, sexist, all the -ists and -phobics,,,, so none. Fuck history :))

[ladyreapermc]

Fic: This isn’t a rom-com 17/17

Author’s notes: So we finally arrived at the last chapter of this fic. I’m really proud of myself for writing something this long and actually getting to the end. I am already planning a sequel and I’d love to hear feedback on this chapter and what you think I could include in the sequel. I also would like to thank everone who stuck around and commented on this. You have no idea how happy you made me. Enjoy this last (for now) chapter!

Summary: Keanu and Lilah meet at the set of John Wick. Rom-com shenanigans ensues

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6  Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16

Wordcount: 3923

Warnings: bad language; smorking, fighting and some angst

Lilah woke up the next morning with the sound of her father’s car pulling up in the driveway. It made her stomach twist into knots, dread filling her chest because she knew there was no way to avoid it now, they would have to have that conversation. She untangled herself from Keanu and it was clear evidence of how exhausted he was because he barely stirred.

She exchanged her PJs for a pair of shorts and the first t-shirt she could find and went down the stairs. Lilah paused just outside the kitchen, listening to her parents talking in hushed voices.

“He’s out of sedation and breathing on his own,” Frank said with a sigh, weariness and fatigue coloring his voice. “I really thought… for a moment there…”

“Don’t,” Alba said her voice breaking a little. “He’s gonna be just fine. He’s strong.”

“I know, I just…” another sigh from her father. “He had a couple of cardiac arrests during surgery. Turns out amphetamines in his blood were reacting badly with one of the medications.”

“Amphetamines?” Alba’s tone was confused. “Like speed?”

“I don’t know what it is exactly, but yes. He’s doing drugs.”

“It’s not speed,” Lilah said walking into the kitchen and making her parents look over in surprise. “It’s probably Adderall.”

“Adderall?” her mom frowned. “Why would he take that?”

“To help him study for some tests. He promised to stop…” Lilah hated to break Jamie’s confidence like this, but they needed the full picture.

“And you believed him?” Frank snorted, his expression almost scornful. “All junkies say that!”

“Jamie’s not a junkie!” Lilah exclaimed. “He just…” she trailed off, at lost of what to say. “Had a lot on his plate and thought he needed a bust.”

“Oh please!” Frank snorted again. “I worked two jobs all through med school and never used drugs to pass my tests! He’s stupid, that’s what he is! And ungrateful! He was given a golden opportunity and just threw that away! Once the board of directors finds out he was on drugs while working for the hospital, that’s it! His career is over!” He slammed his fist on the table, making Alba and Lilah jump. “Stupid, reckless, idiot…”

“Stop!” Lilah shouted, making Frank’s angry gaze shift to her. “Just stop! Jamie’s in the hospital and all you care about is if he’s gonna have a job when all he gets out? How heartless are you?”

“Lilah…” Alba called in gentle warning, but Lilah was too far gone to pay attention. Between the terror of almost losing her brother and all of the soul searching she had been doing the past couple of weeks, hearing her father talking about Jamie like that made something inside of her snap.

“Do you even care about us? Aside from making sure we’re the poster children you can brag about at the country club?” she all but yelled in her father’s face, watching his blue eyes going wide. “Do you wanna know why Jamie was taking Adderall? Because he was working 80 hours a week in a hospital where everyone knew he was your son. He knew every action he took, every misstep he made would come back to you. He was working in a place that anything less than perfect would be unacceptable. I’m surprised he didn’t snap!”

“All there you go again!” Frank scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I’m the big bad villain because I want my children to succeed. How awful of me.”

“Not a villain. Just an asshole!”

“Dalilah!” Alba’s voice was like a crack of a whip, making her stand to attention with a start. “You will not speak like that under my roof! Especially not to your father.”

Lilah pressed her lips together and crossed her arms over her chest. She hated how her mom always took her father’s side of things.

“No Alba. Let her speak,” Frank said with a sneer. “Maybe that way she can work out through these daddy issues of hers! Because that’s the only reason I can think of for her to crazy enough to date a man old enough to be her father!”

His words made Lilah stumble back and straight into Keanu’s strong chest. He steadied her with gentle hands on her shoulders and she looked up at him, catching the somber expression in his face. She wondered how much he heard.

“And you,” Frank continued, getting to his feet and walking towards Keanu. Lilah made sure to keep herself between both men just in case. “I’ve been trying to figure out if this is some kind of mid-life crisis or if you’re just a creep who prey on naïve young girls.”

“I’m not a fucking girl!” Lilah shouted, making her father gaze snap back at her. “I’m twenty-nine, dad! A damn adult! Completely capable of making my own decisions about who I date or what I want to do with my life!” she declared stepping up at him and Frank actually backed away. “And you don’t get to criticize anyone about dating younger women. Wasn’t mom 21 when you met her? While you were 36? Don’t you think you’re being a little hypocritical?”  She saw her father’s eyes narrowing and the way he swallowed hard as he glanced at his wife. He didn’t have an argument against that. “You don’t get to judge my choice in boyfriends and you certainly do not get to bully me into being ashamed of this.”

“Is that what I’m doing?” he snorted, arms crossed over his chest.

“It’s what you always do!” she pointed out. “Darling, don’t you think that skirt is a little too small? You don’t want boys to think you’re easy, do you?” she pitched her tone lower, mimicking her father’s voice. “Baby, I’m sure creative writing classes are interesting, but what are you gonna use that for? Be smart about what you spend your money on. Film school? Are you out of your mind? Grow up! You need a real career!”

She could see her father’s eyes widening as she threw his own words back at him. Lilah always wondered if he even noticed how much they hurt. From the corner her eye, she saw Alba staring at them, her expression just as horrified.

“Truth is I do have tons of daddy issues. Jamie too,” Lilah said, her voice returning to normal. “Because you spent all of our lives making us feel worthless unless we were doing exactly what you wanted. You made us feel like unless we were your perfect children, you would never love us. I became a nearly pathological people-pleaser and perfectionist, while Jamie kept pushing himself so hard he felt his only choice was to take drugs so he wouldn’t disappoint you. So, congratulations! You did a great job fucking up your kids.” Lilah turned her back on her father, heading towards the door. “Oh, not that you care because it’s not a career you’d approve, but I got in film school. Starting next year, I’ll be getting a master's degree in screenwriting.”

She walked out the door, without a second look to her parents, but she felt Keanu following her like a silent shadow all the way back to her bedroom. She felt weirdly numb after that shouting match. All the words that had been stuck on her chest for so long finally out there. She dropped on the edge of her bed, staring unseeingly at her own hands.

“Are you ok?” Keanu asked, tone soft and gentle. He was kneeling in front of her, trying to catch her gaze. “Talk to me, please.”

“I don’t know,” she finally replied with a shaky breath. “I think I went too far. I overreacted and…”

“Don’t do that,” Keanu asked, caressing her cheek with his thumb. “You have all the right to be upset. Always. It doesn’t matter the reason; doesn’t matter if they don’t understand it or if they wouldn’t react the same way. It doesn’t make your feelings any less valid, okay?”

And those words hit Lilah in a corner of her heart that had been shoving all the hurt and pain of having her feelings invalidated and reprehended by people who were supposed to love her unconditionally, including herself. Lilah swallowed around the lump on her throat and hugged him tightly, hiding her face in his chest. Keanu maneuvered her until she was sitting on his lap and pulled her closer, kissing the top of her head and mumbling soothing words as he held her through it all.

She didn’t know how long she stayed like that, but after a while, Lilah’s tears finally stopped flowing and she just stayed cuddled in Keanu’s lap, letting him embrace her, keep her safe, away from the harsh reality of her brother being in the hospital or the epic fight she just had with her father. In his arms, none of that existed.

“Can I ask something?” Keanu started, voice low and gentle and Lilah nodded against his chest. “You’re really gonna go? To NYFA, I mean?”

“Yeah,” she replied, looking up at him. “I got the money and you were right; it is my dream. I’m tired of pushing it aside.”

“I’m very happy for you,” he smiled wide, kissing her forehead and Lilah grinned, some of the tightness in her chest loosening a bit. “But just so you know, if you decided to take that job at Oxford, I’d be happy for you too. I just want you to do what is best for you.”

“I know,” she replied, meeting his lips for a kiss as relief washed over her. It was good to know that Keanu would be supportive of her choice either way. “Thank you.”

There was a short knock on her door and Lilah got up to open it. She found her mother outside, her eyes red and puffy, she had been crying just like Lilah herself had.

“I’m going to see you brother. Are you coming?”

“Yeah. Just give me a moment to change?”

Her mother nodded and stepped away, letting Lilah close the door. She turned to Keanu and he just gave her a soft, understanding smile, still on his spot on the floor.

“Go. You need some time alone with your mom.”

“Thank you,” Lilah sighed, bending down for one last kiss before quickly changing clothes and meeting her mother by the car.

Most of the drive to the hospital was made in awkward silence, her mother staring straight ahead, shoulders and arms tense almost like a statue as she drove.

“Mãe (mom)…” Lilah started once they pulled the car to a stop at the visitor’s parking lot of the hospital. She just couldn’t take the silence anymore. “Desculpa (I’m sorry).”

“Não, amor. Eu que deveria pedir desculpas. Eu nunca soube (No, darling. I should be the one to apologize. I never knew) …” Alba choked up in her words, tears springing in her eyes. “Eu nunca soube que você se sentia assim. Nós te amamos, não importa o que você faça ou quem você namore. Eu sei que seu pai às vezes age como se isso não fosse verdade, mas é. Eu prometo (I never knew you felt like this. We love you, no matter what you do or who you date. I know sometimes your father acts like that isn’t true, but it is. I promise).”

“Eu sei (I know),” Lilah sighed, rubbing her face. “Mas saber e sentir são coisas bens diferentes (but knowing and feeling are very different thins).” Alba sighed too and pulled her into a hug.

“Vai ficar tudo bem. Jamie vai ficar bem e nós vamos encontrar um jeito de consertar tudo isso. Todos nós. (It’s gonna be ok. Jamie is going to be fine and we’re gonna find a way to fix everything. All of us).”

As Lilah stepped out of the car, she really wished she could find a way to believe her mom, but after everything that had happened in the last couple of days, being ok seemed like a very distant reality. She kept quiet and followed Alba through the hospital and to the ICU room where Jamie was being kept for observation.

The sight of her brother all hooked into tubes and wires looking small and frail was so jarring it made her freeze at the door. Lilah had always seen Jamie as a force of nature, unstoppable to the point of being annoying at times. But right here, in that hospital bed, under the harsh lights of the room, he looked anything but that.

“You’re just gonna stand there?” he asked, voice low and raspy, surprising Lilah. She knew he was out of the respirator, but she hadn’t been aware he was already talking.

“No, of course not!” she walked in, standing by the side of his bed, unsure of what to do, where to touch. “How are you?”

“I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck,” he joked weakly, cracking a smile. Lilah snorted. Only Jamie would make such a terrible joke at such a time. “So, I hear you’ve got yourself a sugar daddy? Some famous old fart?”

“Seriously?” Lilah rolled her eyes, glancing at her mom, who just rolled her eyes too. “He’s neither an old fart or my sugar daddy. He’s just older and my boyfriend.”

“I wanna meet him. See if he’s good enough for you,” Jamie said, his eyes fluttering closed. Lilah could only imagine how much effort it took for him to stay awake to chat with them.

“You will. When you get out of here,” she said with a smile. “For now, just get better, ok?” Lilah pressed a kiss on his forehead and stepped outside to give Jamie and Alba a moment alone.

While she waited, Lilah emailed both NYFA, confirming she would be signing up in January, and Arthur Pierce, politely declining his offer. The action released what was left of the knot of doubt that had taken residence in her chest. Lilah was still terrified of course. It was a lot of changes in a short time. She had no idea where her life was going. But for the first time, she felt that, wherever it was heading, it was on her terms and no one else’s. Or so she hoped.

After visiting Jamie, they headed back home and Lilah made a beeline to her bedroom, expecting to find Keanu there, but to her surprise, the room was empty and his suitcase packed, ready to go. The sight of it made her smile fall. She knew he couldn’t stay, but she didn’t expect him to go so soon.

As she was coming down the stairs to search for Keanu, Lilah saw her father heading towards the kitchen. She went after him, knowing they needed to talk. She wasn’t gonna apologize for what she said, but she knew she had cut him deep and someone needed to take the first step.  

She followed him to the backyard, her heart hitting her throat when she saw Keanu was sitting outside, smoking. Her father loomed over him for a moment, but Keanu seemed unfazed as he looked up at the older man.

“Give me one of those,” Frank said, at last, taking a seat on the lawn chair next to Keanu’s. “It’s been ages since I’ve smoked.”

“Not a good habit to have when you’re a doctor,” Keanu commented, and Lilah thought she heard just a hint of tension as he handed one and the lighter.

“I googled you,” Frank said after he lit his cigarette and returned the lighter to Keanu. “Wanted to know what kind of man my daughter was dating.”

“What did you find?”

“You certainly have been dealt a shitty hand in life,” Frank said, and Keanu snorted.

“I guess that’s one way of putting it,” he said, glancing sideways at the older man.

“This isn’t just some random fling for you, is it?” Frank asked, meeting his gaze.

“I don’t just jump in flights to Miami for random flings, Dr. Bennett. I love your daughter very much,” Keanu replied, his tone almost matter-of-factly and Lilah’s heart lunged in her chest.

“So, you knew about this film school thing?”

“That she got in? yes. That was decided to go I learned at the same time you did.”

“Tell me honestly, can she make it?” Frank asked his tone almost pleading. “I know she thinks everything I do is to control her, but all I ever wanted was to keep her safe. She’s my baby girl. I’m afraid of what the world can do to her. How it can hurt her, break her spirit.”

“Dr. Bennett, I can’t tell you if she’ll make it or not. There’s no way to know,” Keanu started, shifting on his chair so he was facing the other man. “I will tell you this: your daughter is amazing. She’s smart and stubborn and she’s stronger than you think. Tougher than you think. Even if she doesn’t make it, she’ll be fine. It’s not like she doesn’t have a backup plan. Knowing her, she probably already has a backup for the backup.”

“Yeah, that sounds like my Lilah,” Frank said with a chuckle.

“Trust your daughter, Dr. Bennett. You and your wife raised an incredible woman,” Keanu said with a smile and Frank snorted, eyes downcast.

“Didn’t you hear? I screw her up.”

“Only if you hold onto that image of who you wanted your daughter to be, instead of seeing who your daughter is and can be. That woman? She’s breathtaking.”

As Keanu said that, he glanced over at Lilah, catching her soft smile and smiling too. Frank followed his gaze, noticing his daughter was there watching them, before looking back at Keanu with a chuckle.

“How long have you known she was standing there?”

“A while.” Keanu stood up and offered him a hand. “It was very nice to meet you, Dr. Bennett.”

“You too, Keanu.” Frank stood up too and shook his hand.

With one final nod, Keanu walked up to Lilah. He paused in front of her, hand on her cheek, just watching her. There was such a sadness in his gaze that she felt her chest tightening.

“I’ll give you two some privacy,” he said, pressing a kiss on her lips and walking away before Lilah could say anything else. She thought about following him, but there was another man in her life she needed to focus her attention on right now.

Lilah took the seat Keanu had vacated, hugging herself and keeping her eyes away from Frank. Part due to hurt. Part due to fear. She wasn’t sure what to expect just yet.

“He’s sneaky, that one,” Frank commented, stubbing the remains of his cigarette and Lilah nodded. “But wise and very much in love with you.”

“I’m very much in love with him too,” Lilah said, glancing at her father to gather his reaction but he just sighed.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” Frank said, his voice breaking, eyes welling up. “I never wanted to hurt you I was just trying…”

“I know, dad,” Lilah sighed too, struggling to talk around the lump in her throat. “But Keanu’s right. You need to trust me, let me make my own choices. If I screw up, then I’ll face the consequences. That’s how life works.”

“I know,” he replied with a shaky breath. “If I could turn back the time…”

“We can’t,” Lilah interrupted, taking his hand and squeezing it slightly. “We can try to do better from now on.” Frank nodded, drying his eyes on his sleeves.  

“He’s right, you know?” he said with a soft smile. “You already are an incredible woman and I’m very proud of you.”

“Thanks, Dad,” she replied, letting him pull her into a hug.

Lilah knew this wound between them was far from healed, but they made steps in the right direction today and that was definitely something. She stayed wrapped in her dad’s embrace for a while longer before they both headed back inside. Frank stayed in the kitchen to help Alba, while Lilah headed to her room, finding Keanu sitting on her bed, all ready to go.

“How are things with your dad?” he asked before Lilah could even begin to speak.

“It’s… not good, but better, I guess,” she admitted, take a seat next to him and letting Keanu entwine their fingers together. “We’ll need to work on it. I need to work on it. Just another thing for the list.”

Lilah let out a long sigh. She didn’t even recognize her life at this point. Not after most of what she thought she was and wanted changed and Lilah didn’t even know if for better or worse just yet. Only time would tell. There was one thing Lilah knew, though.

“You can’t stay, can you?” she wasn’t just speaking about Miami.

“No,” Keanu sighed, voice so low Lilah barely heard it. “You’ll never be sure if you made these choices because of yourself or me if I stay.”

She let out a shaky, strangled breath, tears prickling her eyes again. She hated the fact that he was right. Would Lilah even have considered film school if she hadn’t met him? Would it even have been such a hard choice between NYFA and Oxford if Keanu wasn’t in her life? After everything, Lilah wanted to do this for herself and be sure she was doing it for herself.

“You know, if this was a rom-com, right now would be the part we make big declarations of love and kiss and everything would be magically alright,” Lilah pointed out, her tone a little bittersweet.

“This isn’t a rom-com,” Keanu replied, bringing her knuckles to his lips. “There’s no magic fix, Lil. Despite what The Beatles said, sometimes, love is not all you need.”

“I know,” her voice was cracking, tears making it hard for her to get the words out. “I don’t wanna do this.”

“Me either,” his own voice was rough and choked. When Lilah dared to look his way, Keanu had his head bent low, hair shielding his face. “But you’re figuring yourself, figuring your life and I’m afraid that if I stay, I’ll get in your way because I’ll want to help. Right now, if I could, I’d try to protect you from all harm. It took everything of me not to intervene when you were arguing with your parents. I still didn’t manage to stay out of it completely. I just wasn’t built that way. You need to know that it was all you. Your decisions, your mistakes, your wins… I can’t be part of it. Not yet anyway.”

“K…” her voice died as Lilah didn’t know what to say to that and Keanu let out a small snort, glancing her way, his eyes reddish.

“I like how you call me, K. Everyone else goes for Ke.”

“I’m not everyone else,” Lilah replied, and he smiled, that same sad smile from before.

“No. You’re not,” Keanu pulled her into his lap, hugging her tight, face buried on her neck. Lilah wrapped her arms around him just as tightly, nose in his hair, breathing in deep.

“What time is your flight?” she mumbled against his hair.

“In four hours,” he replied, and Lilah felt his warm breath tickling her skin.

“Can you stay until then?” She asked and Keanu tilted his head up, meeting her eyes.

“I’d like that,” he said, letting Lilah seal his lips with a kiss.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxthe end (for now at least)xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tag list (give a shout to be added or removed)

@toomanystoriessolittletime @meetmeinthematinee @theolsdalova @krazycags01 @beyond-antares @cumberbatchbaps @sgt-morgan @futuristic-imbecile @howtoruin-someones-perfect-day @a-really-bi-girl @fanficsrusz @nonsensicalobsessions @poisonedjoinery @soarocks @kindainlovewithkeanu @ficsnroses @weird-civilian​

[drabblesaf]

what you did in the dark - Mieczyslaw Stilinski Smut (Void) - pt 2

REQUESTED: Yes, requested by an anon and three lovely users!!

“p2 please !” - @one-thread-can-save-a-life “Ooooh I love it! Do more!” @fox-in-a-mousetrap-8 (also thank you for the rb! <3) “pls do a pt 2 of bury a friend omg its so good” – anon “Ok hi, I need a part two of the bury a friend imagine for Stiles, like now please! It’s so good, oh my lord.” - @alopix861

Well, ask and ye shall receive!

WARNINGS: unprotected sex, biting, blood, choking

SUMMARY: You knew that Stiles was possessed, but you had no idea to what extent. You would learn soon enough, when the fox took more of an interest in you…

NOTES: So this one was again inspired by a song, but it wasn’t a Billie song (I was debating using bad guy buuuuuut I found a slowed version of “My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark” by Fall Out Boy which I thought worked much better). You can listen to that here!

Thank you to everyone who liked, reblogged and asked for more – I literally posted that yesterday on a whim, and the response was amazing! (Also, thank y’all for allowing me to write more Stiles because I love and miss my boy <3)

Hope you enjoy, and you can find pt1 here!

Be careful making wishes in the dark, dark Can’t be sure when they’ve hit their mark, And besides, in the mean-meantime, I’m Just dreaming of tearing you apart

I had been trying to deal with what Stiles had said to me that day. At least, I’m sure he said it - rather, whispered it - to me as his hands wrapped around my waist, yet there was no warm breath in my ear. It was as though he had spoken in my mind, invaded my thoughts, and etched his words into my brain.

“My darling (Y/N), you should never trust a fox. No matter what.”

The words had been going around in my mind all day, and the weirdest thing was that nobody else had heard them. In fact, it was just as though everything was normal, as if our friend hadn’t been possessed by a fox spirit. An evil fox spirit at that.

So when I was heading home, I definitely wasn’t expecting Stiles to offer to drive me back to mine, “As thanks for everything you did for me yesterday. Even if we did end up falling asleep.” The ride back was nice, some old 80s song playing on the radio, and I was alone with my thoughts.

As we pulled up to my house, I turned to Stiles to thank him, but was instead met by his lips crashing onto mine. He tasted like the spearmint gum he always chewed, but also faintly of chocolate from the muffin he’d eaten for lunch earlier that day. He pulled away briefly, trying to catch my reaction, to which I responded by kissing him again, crawling onto his lap carefully (so as to avoid the steering wheel jabbing me in the back) as his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me in tighter to him.

I’m in the de-details with the devil, No the world can never get me on my level, I just gotta get you out the cage, I’m a young lover’s rage, Gonna need a spark to ignite

After a while, Stiles mumbled, “Shall we take this inside?” to which I nodded, breaking apart if only for a few seconds in order to get inside the house. As soon as we were in and the door was closed, our lips reconnected, tongues dancing a deadly tango. In the back of my mind, Stiles’ words were still playing on repeat.

No matter what.

No matter how good his lips felt against my own, no matter how much his hands ignited sparks everywhere he touched me, no matter how much I wanted this, craved all of this, I shouldn’t have trusted him. However, at the point we were at, I didn’t really have much of an option.

“Bedroom?” Stiles said, lifting me up so my legs were wrapped around his waist. I nodded, pointing up the stairs.

“First door on the right.” The thrill that ran through my body was intense, and had the dark-haired teen not been holding me securely, I would have fallen over then and there. We crashed into the door, him kicking it closed behind us, throwing me onto the bed and removing his shirt.

The writers keep writing what they write, Somewhere another pretty vein just died, I’ve got the scars from tomorrow and I wish you could see That you’re the antidote to everything except for me

In Stiles’ eyes, there was nothing but darkness when I looked at him. “Oh, kitten,” he tutted. “What did I say earlier?” He said that last part as he grabbed my chin, forcing me to keep looking at him.

“No matter what,” I whispered, and he nodded. 

“Exactly. No matter what, you should never trust a fox. But, seems like you forgot about that part, overcome by your attraction for the boy, the host. Hmm, you should hear how he’s screaming currently, begging me not to hurt you. Don’t worry kitten, I’m not likely to hurt you anytime soon, as long as you do as you’re told and don’t try to do anything stupid or reckless. You can do that for me, can’t you?” 

I nodded, and he tutted again. “Ah, ah, ah, use your words.”

“Y-yes Sir,” I stuttered out, and he smirked.

“Good girl kitten. Now, I think you need a bit of a treat, but only if you comply with being marked. Can’t let anyone try and get their hands on you, y’know,” he said, before moving to my neck, tugging at my t-shirt for me to remove it. My eyes widened as he began to nip at my neck, biting as though aiming to leave pierced marks through my skin, drawing blood as he did so.

With every suck, bite and nip the teen underwent, I squirmed slightly beneath him, trying to not enjoy it but finding arousal building in the pit of my stomach. I felt something prickle at the corner of my eyes as I fought the tears that threatened to spill out, until Stiles said, “Let it all out angel. I thrive off your fear, could eat it up for days. And my goodness, kitten, you have so. Much. Fear.” He shuddered slightly, as if relishing the fear he was consuming from me, and kissed further down until he reached the hemline of my pants.

A constellation of tears on your lashes, Burn everything you love then burn the ashes, In the end everything collides, my childhood Spat back out the monster that you see

When Stiles reached the hemline, my breathing hitched slightly, and he chuckled. “Hm, do you deserve a treat kitten? You did let me consume your fear, even if it meant I had to go further than planned. Do you want me to repay the favour for you?”

“Fuck, please Sir, I need it so bad,” I whimpered, and he smirked. 

“As you wish. Well done kitten, for remembering to call me by the correct name as well,” he said in a satisfied manner before pulling down my underwear and diving in to attack my pussy. He gave fast licks to the clit, sucking harshly on it to the point where I may have exploded. However, almost as soon as he’d begun he withdrew, shoving his own pants down and off and palming himself, eyeing up my needy form in bed.

“Y’know, you look so good like this, an absolute wreck all for me. But it isn’t all for me, is it kitten? Part of it is also for the host, isn’t it? Well kitten, I will show you how much better I can fuck you than him. Get you screaming out his name because I look just like him. You’ll be thinking of his cock every time you fuck me. Except, that’s just it. You’re fucking me. So I want to hear you screaming out Sir, understand?”

I had no time to give an answer as he pushed straight into me, causing me to cry out in agony. If he had truly taken on Stiles and possessed him as he said he did, then Stiles was hung. He was stretching me out to a painful degree, but didn’t seem to care one bit. “Did I mention I also feed off your pain?” He said, grunting as he thrusted into me harshly. “That’s right kitten, I live for your pain. Give it all to me. I know you want to. Give yourself to me.”

He kept thrusting into me, and after a while I had gotten used to the pain, moaning instead as the feeling he was causing felt amazing. I felt lightheaded, almost swooning, until he pulled me up onto him so I was straddling him, legs around his waist and one hand wrapped around my throat.

“Want me to cum in you? Want me to fill you up with my seed? We’re going to be together for a long time (Y/N)...let me fill you up with my cock,” the teen growled, nipping at my ear as I felt my pussy tighten around him, causing him to release with a groan and bringing about my own release shortly after. He removed himself from me and lay me down carefully on the bed. My whole body was on fire from that session, and as soon as he left I heard a voice in my head before everything went dark.

“See you soon, kitten.”

[clericbyers]

The funny thing about RR!St3 (and yes I'm still talking about this) is that its technically your au so if u don't like stuff about season 3-and maybe that's like everything lmao- than you can change it for this au!!! so what're some things you could change to flex on the duffers with ur beautiful Galaxy brain?

oh ur so right….oh man OH MAN the power in my hands right now…this is super long but i got so into it okay thank u…

First off, my real vision for RR!ST3 would not be too close to how ST3 went down; the RR!ST3 I originally hashed out was me trying to stick close to ST3 but as I said then, it was hard bc many of the issues in ST3 wouldn’t happen if Mike wasn’t obsessed with El and if we actually address the fact that these kids are dealing with serious trauma from the events of ST2. In RR!ST2, Mike would be the one dealing with being possessed, Will would have been at his side the entire time, Nancy and Mike would be a lot tighter thanks to RR!ST1 (like she’d be very overprotective because she almost lost her brother and he’s annoying yeah but she can’t imagine not having him in her life anymore). So when RR!ST2 ends with the Snowball, I can see Mike still dancing with El when she returns because he needs to thank her, she saved his life after all, but I really. just cannot see his level of attachment being enough to try to date her. Because in ST1 and at the beginning of ST2, Mike is wracked with guilt about losing her, about bonding with her and ultimately her being a sacrifice to save them. He doesn’t have that in RR!ST1 and RR!ST2, at least not to the same degree as ST1 and ST2. He didn’t have the time to bond to El and while I think he might have fleeting feelings for his savior (like I said, nightingale effect) and have some guilt about how she seemingly gave up her life to save everyone, especially him, I also think RR!ST2 Mike would be very attached to Will though given how Will trusted him and stuck by him despite all the horrors. Mike takes loyalty very seriously and Will being with Nancy and Karen (as she would be the “crazy” mom who lost her son in RR!ST1, but she’d enlist Joyce’s help since Ted wouldn’t really care so it would be power duo Joyren trying to figure out where Mike is) in the RR!ST2 shed scene would mean a lot to him.

Now, we have those 8 months between ST2 and ST3 where basically Mike and El entered a relationship in ‘85. In that time frame in the RR au, I would focus more on how the Party is getting over the trauma they faced during RR!ST2. Firstly, Mike is definitely not okay after being possessed by a demonic godly shadow force. He’s in therapy again maybe, back on medications, IDK what exactly but he is broken inside but trying his best to act like everything is normal and he wasn’t just possessed. I think he would try to cling onto his childhood as Will did in ST3, because Mike didn’t get to grow up normal since he got kidnapped and possessed by monsters. Will and El would bond a lot in those 8 months though, definitely becoming closer siblings and El having a crush on Mike can still a thing. Mike might not feel that same way for her but he’d be down for dating if just to feel normal again. Part of that may be to continue dampening how he feels for Will because he just wants to be a regular kid again and what he feels for his best friend is not at all natural in his mind. I like the idea of Mike and El getting together in ST3 at the mall scene so I’d stick with that. But I also feel like Mike would definitely also be spending half the time subconsciously trying to stay away from El because she’s also a reminder of the horrors he faced in the UD and with the Mind Flayer.

There would be a lot of Will, El, Mike moments too! Will is her brother of sorts in the RR au and Hopper is only ever really comfortable with Mike coming to visit when Will is over, too, even before Mike agrees to date El.

So okay, Episode 1 of RR!ST3 deals with the fact that all the kids are still dealing with some sort of trauma. Mike wakes up from a nightmare, uses his walkie talkie to contact Will, and Will comes over and sits in his room with him and they chat for a bit until Mike can fall back asleep. Will sits at the foot of Mike’s bed watching him sleep before he sneaks back out the house. Nancy catches him and thanks him for stopping by and then he catches Lucas outside too while making his way back home. Lucas casually mentions that he couldn’t sleep and they chat about how weird things have been when no one in Hawkins knows what happened last fall. In the early afternoon the next day, Will bikes over to Hopper’s cabin to hang out with El, they listen to music and doodle together for hours, just being great friends. El casually mentions that she might have a bit of a crush on Mike (who comes with Dustin, Lucas, and El to visit sometimes because fuck ST3 and isolating El from the Party). This could be a moment for Will to be like, “Oh, me, too.” and they can bond over liking Mike together (that’d be cute af!! and it would help Will feel more comfortable about how he feels toward Mike when he’s able to talk about it without persecution). She asks him if Mike likes him back and Will kinda just stops doodling.

“I don’t know,” he murmurs hoarsely. “He’s never said anything.”

El hums and takes out a purple crayon to color in the grass. “Do you know if he likes me?”

Will says he doesn’t know but that he’ll figure it out for her. Hopper won’t let her come with Will to the movie that night so he promises one night he’ll help sneak her out and then bikes over to the theater. We have the ST3 theater scene but it’s reversed of course, so it’s Mike who feels the Mind Flayer and Will who asks him if he’s okay. Mike isn’t as shy and flustered as Will was in ST3 though, he tries to brush Will off petulantly (as RR!ST3 Mike tries his best to act like the events of RR!ST2 aren’t affecting him as much as it is) but Will takes his hand and says, “It’s okay to not be okay.” and Mike kinda fidgets but squeezes his hand in turn before they both go back to watching the movie.

The next day when Dustin comes back, we have the Party going up to Cerebro but there would not be any El and Mike leaving like in ST3. Instead, Will and El are whispering between themselves but it’s not really much about anything. El is too shy to ask Mike if he wants to sit with her as they listen to Dustin call his girlfriend and Will just wants her to feel comfortable near Mike and keeps pestering for her to just sit next to him. Mike is irritated because he wanted to hang with Will more today and he’s bonding with El. His powers activate from his irritation and he’s blocking the radio signal for Dustin and Suzie’s call. When it starts getting late, the Party splits up, Will and El leaving first because of curfew (a real one not the lie El told in ST3). Lucas and Max leave next and Mike is left solo with Dustin.

“I know that Will and El aren’t together, but god, I feel so childish being the single one out.” Mike complains as a chill breeze washes over the two of them.

Dustin hums distractedly, still trying to work out why Cerebro isn’t picking up Suzie’s channel. It takes a moment for Mike’s words to sink in and then he perks. “You know, El likes you.”

“She what?” Mike blurts, giving Dustin a look. “No, she doesn’t. She can’t.”

“Uh, but she can and she does.” Dustin turns a random knob to a different frequency. “It’s pretty obvious; she was sending you heart eyes this entire time if your oblivious ass would have realized.”

Mike isn’t sure how to feel about it. He’s always seen El as Will’s sister, especially with Hopper attempting (and kinda failing) at dating Joyce. Even when they danced at Snowball, it was a thing of gratitude, of joy, of acknowledging that she hadn’t died and he was happy about that. But, El actually liking him? “What am I supposed to do about that?”

“Do you like her?”

Mike scrunches his nose. He feels…something toward her but he’s not really sure what it is. It’s not the same way he feels toward Nancy but it’s not what he felt toward Max either. And it’s definitely not what he feels toward Will, but he doesn’t want to think about that right now. He wants to feel normal. “I’m not sure.”

“Well, if it’s not a solid no, then I’d say go for it.” Dustin adjusts his hat and leans back with a sigh. “She’s cute and I think this is the first time a cute girl has ever liked your nerdy ass.”

“Shut up,” laughs Mike and he nudges his friend who grins in turn. He looks up at the sky and sighs. “I should probably get back home before my mom goes nuts. Talk to you later, yeah?”

“I’m leaving, too,” he sighs as he stands up. “I don’t know why this isn’t working. Maybe the clouds are too overcast.”

Mike shrugs and flicks at the radio’s antenna. It buzzes erratically, static blasting through Dustin’s headphones and then suddenly there’s a voice coming through the noise. It’s a blend of things, like the receiver is caught between two frequencies. One is Suzie, the other is some spoken code (in English because the random inclusion of the Russians works for Red Scare era / anti-Russia 80′s America but like…it had no set up so I wouldn’t use it for RR!ST3) that neither Mike nor Dustin can understand. Dustin tries to fix the frequency channels to focus on Suzie, but he looses her and the input only focuses on the frequency the code is on. Mike touches the antenna again, holding on this time around, and he can literally feel the electric currents coursing through him, something sharper than a tickle but not as harsh as actual electrocution. The dials on the receiver interface start wavering about randomly and crazily until Mike lets go and then there’s only static again.

“What the,” Dustin mutters, bending down to check how Cerebro is working. “What did you do?”

Mike stares down at his hands, a panic attack on the edge of his senses because, seriously, what the hell was that? First having flashbacks in the theater and feeling that shocking tingling sensation on their way up the hill, now this? “I…I don’t know.”

Dustin taps at a dial and frowns. “Touch it again. Like hold onto it as you did earlier.” Mike does as told and the dials go nuts again. “Mike…do you…have you had any issues near electrical appliances recently?”

Mike scowls and tries to remember if anything odd has happened recently. “No? Not really. Sometimes the radio in my mom’s car doesn’t work and the TV gets a little staticy but that’s normal. Oh, and we had flickering lights out at the cabin when Will, Lucas, and I visited but it’s a cabin in the woods so what do you expect.”

Dustin bites at his bottom lip. “And this only happens when you’re around?”

“I, uh,” Mike grabs at his hair, “No, no, it doesn’t. It doesn’t. It can’t…I’m not, what…I thought that was the Upside Down only.”

“What do you mean?”

“I could touch the lights and the TV when I was in the Upside Down version of the basement. And when I touched them, everything glowed. Kind of like casting Daylight in D&D.” Mike struggles to find his breath; he never really talks about what it was like in the Upside Down. “And…and I knew, I knew where the demogorgon was before I should have. Like innate. And the dead people…”

“Detect Evil?” Dustin suggests, cocking his head to the side. “Mike, do you think any of that stuck with you here?”

[ So basically, the equivalent of “magic” in D&D is electricity in the real world / the Upside Down since electricity and tech is kinda like modern magic, and all of Mike’s powers in the Upside Down are, in theory, paladin spells. He couldn’t control which lights flickered on like Will did in ST1 but he can turn them on and he can create a beacon, along with talking to the dead and having an innate circle of protection around him (a magic circle as paladins can have!) ]

Mike goes back home totally freaked out and refusing to believe he has “powers” because his time in the UD felt like such a nightmare anyway. He just wanted to survive, he didn’t ask for this, he didn’t ask for the Mind Flayer to possess him and use his body to kill people, to almost destroy Hawkins in the process. And that night, Mike decides he absolutely cannot let these possible powers do anything or mean anything because he’s normal, he’s a normal 14-year-old boy who is absolutely not crushing on his very male best friend, no, he’s gonna get a girlfriend, and hang out at the mall like kids do over the summer, and everything is going to be fine.

The next day, Will doesn’t go over to El’s place to hang out, Mike picks up the phone and says a dumb lie about Will being busy to try to get out of it. (“Friends don’t lie,” says El afterwards. “But brothers do.” snorts Max, “All. The. Time.”) He’s frustrated by El wanting to spend time with Will one-on-one when he’s trying to get the og4 Party members together for some normal hangout time playing D&D because, again, Mike here is the one trying to cling onto his childhood, even more now that he might have “powers”. They play D&D with Mike as DM and it all goes well until Karen comes downstairs asking about magnets and Mike internally freaks out. He’s been feeling like someone is watching him for a while now (hint: El when spying on the boys in the Void) and now his mom is talking about something that could very well be his powers working. Dustin knows and can actually see it, so he suggests everyone should get some fresh air and hang out at the mall. The Party goes out shopping, they hang out at Scoops Ahoy and Mike and Dustin share their story about the radio last night but purposefully leave out details about what Mike did with the antenna. Will feels guilty for lying so he’s trying to find some new clothes so El isn’t always wearing Hopper’s hand-me-downs, and they run into Max and El outside.

“Well, well, well,” Max huffs as she crosses her arms. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

Will is worried because El leaving the house and being at the mall of all places would definitely make Hopper upset. “Are you okay?” he asks her, careful not to sound too overbearing. “Does Hopper know you’re here?”

El shrugs. “I told him I was seeing Max. And I am.” She turns to Mike. “You said Will couldn’t come over yet you are shopping. Why did you lie?”

Mike, who has spent practically the whole time at the mall on pins and needles, is really not in the mood for being questioned like this. “It just came out. I wanted to hang with the boys, okay? Just us. Like old days.”

El frowns. “Do you not like me?”

“No! No, I really like you!” Mike softens up and gives her a smile. “Honest; friends don’t lie, right? I’m sorry I lied to you. Today’s been…weird.” Dustin huffs at that. “Don’t worry about it though, I genuinely like you.”

And Mike doesn’t mean it that way–he had just said ‘friends don’t lie’ because he really does see her as a friend–but El takes it that way, and she grins widely, blushing as she ducks her head. “I like you, too, Mike.”

Will didn’t even think Mike liked El that way but now that it’s spoken in front of him, he can feel his heart breaking just a bit because any chance he thought he had is gone in his mind. El steps into Mike’s space and he blinks a couple times. “I want to go out with you.”

Dustin gasps, Lucas covers his mouth, Will tries his best not to look dejected, and Max whoops at her side. Mike turns to Will, who is staring at his feet, and then looks back at El. (A parallel to Snowball when Will looked at Mike for approval before going to dance with Zombie Boy girl.) Mike told himself he was gonna get a girlfriend and be normal, right? Ignore whatever happens in his chest when Will smiles at him. Ignore all of that and his stupid powers and be normal. “Yeah. Yeah, okay. Let’s go out.”

So the Party stays at the mall a little longer and Mike and El hang out together and get ice cream at Scoops’ Ahoy, which is amusing to Steve and Robin both. At the end, they go back to the Wheelers and El has to go back to the cabin but Mike is kind of in a daze because wow, he just got a girlfriend for the first time and went on a date with her. Dustin keeps teasing him, Lucas is cackling and making kissing jokes, but Will…Will is oddly silent at first. They get back on the campaign but no one can really concentrate and Will starts getting concerned about El and how she was out and about without Hopper’s knowledge. Mike is even more frustrated now because he thought things were going to start getting normal now, but it just seems to be falling apart. Will won’t even concentrate on the campaign, Dustin is horrible at trying to be subtle about if Mike’s powers are activating, and Lucas is complaining with Will about how Max and El are hanging out.

Mike lashes out and storms outside, where Will goes after him. “Mike, I’m sorry, it’s a really good campaign,” Will starts with a hand to Mike’s shoulder, “but I’m worried about El and I just…I can’t concentrate right now. We can play it tomorrow, I promise.”

Mike yanks himself away from Will. “Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, it’s always tomorrow! I said ‘see you tomorrow’ before and then I never did! Tomorrow may never fucking come! But oh, that doesn’t matter, huh? Tomorrow always comes for you. Tomorrow is always gonna be better.”

“Mike,”

“No!” he yells and lightening crackles in the distance. “No, you don’t get to say anything! You keep spending time with El, forgetting about all of us! I’m her boyfriend now and I’m not even this obsessed with her whereabouts.” He waves at Will, who scowls. “She’s not even really your sister and you’re letting her just ruining the party like this? And for what? So you can have a fake younger sister to hole up in her room all day?”

Will’s nostrils flare. “El is my sister whether you like it or not!” He snaps back with irritation. “It’s not my fault you don’t like El!”

Mike pauses, eyes widening just a fraction as his breath visibly hitches. No one was supposed to know that he wasn’t even sure how he felt…Dustin himself had come to the conclusion that Mike knew he liked El all along. Will though wants to take it back immediately. Taking out his anger onto Mike isn’t fair at all and just because Mike suddenly has a girlfriend doesn’t mean he should try to accuse Mike of not liking her. But he can’t help but question either way because Mike barely alluded to seeing her that way anyway.

“Look, I’m…I’m sorry, that came out wrong. So wrong.” He steps toward Mike, who tenses up more. “I know you like El, okay? I know you care about her. I care about her, too, just differently. She helped save you and the Party, how can I not care? That type of care has been with me for months. I can’t shut that off. I’m sorry.”

Mike’s breathing is getting denser and his vision is getting blurry because now he knows. Now he knows how he feels and he really fucked up saying yes to dating El. He doesn’t like her like Nancy and he doesn’t like her like Max either. He especially doesn’t like her like a boyfriend. “I like El like how you like her.”

“Mike?” Will’s voice is soft and shaking a little and Mike feels like throwing up.

“El saved me,” he whispers, “She saved me and I like her for that. I do. But she’s not…”

“She’s not what?”

Mike is crying now, angry tears dripping down his face like the rain as his voice crackles like the thunder. “She’s not you! I thought she would be enough and maybe I was wrong for it but it hasn’t even been a full day and I already know! I already know I don’t like her like that because I like you!”

There’s nothing but the patter of rain and Mike’s heavy breathing, and Mike can already feel his heart breaking because he spent so long trying to deny this and now he blurted it out in the midst of an argument like a dumbass and now Will is going to hate him. Hate him for not being normal, hate Mike for being what Lonnie always said he was. He’s crying still, hands shaking at his side as the tears continue to spill.

Will looks up at him with widened eyes and Mike can’t take it any longer. He can’t face the inevitable rejection right now. “I need to go.”

“Mike, wait, no! Mike!” Will rushes toward him but Mike’s already on his bike and riding through the rain. “Mike! Mike, come back!”

When Mike doesn’t turn back, Will rushes downstairs, tears streaming down his face as well and he can barely get his words out. “We need to find Mike, we need to find him now!”

“Will, what happened?” Lucas asks but Will grabs his jacket instead of replying.

“We need to go, now.” the brunette is shaking and Dustin puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Seriously, Will, what happened? Is he okay? Is he hurt?”

“Yes, yes, oh my god,” Will collapses on the stairs before he can finish climbing them. “Oh my god, he confessed to me.”

“Confessed what? His powers?”

Will blinks a few times and looks up at Dustin as he rubs at his runny nose. “His what? Powers?”

Dustin freezes. “Oh. I, uh, I thought…oh…oh. Mike likes you?”

Will waves a passing hand. “Pause, what is this about Mike’s powers?”

Lucas speaks up with irritation. “I thought you said we need to go!”

So all the boys get on their bikes and ride toward the Byers house since that’s where Mike would go when his nightmares got bad enough and it’s a safe place for him outside of the basement. Dustin explains what Mike had done with Cerbero and how they caught this code that he had been sort of hashing out with Steve and Robin when they went to the mall. No one is home at the Byers residence (Joyce and Karen are out with Hopper doing their whole side storyline there) and Will starts to freak out more.

“Where would he be, where would he be?”

Lucas crosses his arms. “Maybe the cabin? That’s where his girlfriend is after all.”

And that’s not where Mike is, he’s actually with Steve and Robin at the mall given he feels he’d be better off with someone who understands the UD/MF mess (Steve) and someone who doesn’t know the Party dynamics (Robin). He’s just about to tell Robin about his confession to Will when he feels the Mind Flayer and knows that he’s back.

The rest of the season is kinda…the same ish but also not?? But so I don’t write out the whole damn thing now lmao here are the pointers:

El and Mike are still trying to be girlfriend and boyfriend when they reunite at the cabin (Scoops Troop is a thing but it’s not tied to the Russian bs so they aren’t at the mall the entire time) but Mike is also really uncomfortable with El’s advances though he tries not to act like it.

Mike avoids Will as best he can even though Will keeps trying to get one-on-one time with Mike to confess that he likes him back

Jonathan and Nancy team up at the cabin too with news about the exploding rats (the MF’s attempt to possess non humans that went wrong) and Mike speaks up about how he might have powers himself

El tries to teach him how to go into the Void (which would be like a prayer for him) but when he does so, he ends up running into the Mind Flayer and find out that it’s after him and is willing to kill all his friends to get to him

Mike and El both pull out of the Void together gasping and crying and Will is immediately at Mike’s side as Max rushes to El. “He’s going to kill us,” Mike sobs shakily, “He’s going to kill us all.”

El gets attacked by the Mind Flayer (not Meat Flayer) because it was coming for Mike and she intercepted the transmission using her mind

At the hospital Mike breaks up with El (instead of how in ST3 they became friends again), and she’s a little hurt but understanding when he confesses that he likes someone more than her and doesn’t want to hurt her by lying to her constantly when dating her

Will finally gets Mike to himself here and is about to confess but then Mike feels the Mind Flayer (his innate sense evil power) and it’s possessed someone. He confronts it, helps save Nancy from the shapeshifting demogorgon attacking her, and banishes it from this dimension, only to pass out from the effort

El takes over with her powers and with Mike’s help, accesses the radio to find the channel that Dustin and Mike had found before. She discovers that someone is trying to open the gate again under the mall

At the supermarket, Will and Mike finally get to talk and Will confesses that he likes Mike, too. “Blank makes you crazy, right?” Mike chuckles as he takes Will’s hand in his own. He’s not willing to say love yet even if he knows it’s true. He knows that Will understands him though. Will always does.

“Yeah,” the boy replies sweetly, “blank makes you crazy.”

Cue an almost kiss before Lucas and Dustin come around with the fireworks and they all get over to the mall

Big battle against the Mind Flayer and the people it possessed. Instead of a giant gory meat machine, it possesses people in Hawkins like it did Mike in RR!ST2 and uses them to shapeshift them into individual monsters. So the Party is attacked by a horde of demogorgons and demodogs!!

The fireworks help a lot as Lucas suggested, and Mike and El work together as superpowered besties to banish the Mind Flayer from all the neighbors. Some die in the process (because it’s just, brutal and violent and horrible) and Mike gets temporarily repossessed in the battle but he’s more leveled up now and understands how this works, so he can banish the MF from him (a level 4 paladin spell might I add!) as much as El used her powers to take out the piece of the meat machine in her leg in ST3

Hopper closes the gate but not in enough time (we need him in the Upside Down for RR!ST4) and then the Mind Flayer retreats, but it kills all the people it had possessed in the process, which only wrecks the kids with guilt for being unable to save everyone like they almost did

This also frightens Mike who has been possessed by the Mind Flayer because it means his connection is still strong enough that the Mind Flayer could kill him instantly too (but it won’t bc Mike and El’s powers are too strong and it could possibly kill itself trying to kill them through that connection)

At the end there’s no one really moving away. El has lost her powers, Mike’s are nearly depleted / he doesn’t know how to use them without El’s help. Everyone is mourning Hopper and with El and Mike unable to use their powers, they can’t go into the Void to see that Hopper’s actually alive.

uhhh the epilogue is the first day of high school and the Party are hopping off their bikes and chatting about something nonsensical. Lucas and Max are holding hands, Dustin is waving his arms about wildly as he explains his latest science project, and Mike and Will are standing close together, just enough to brush their fingers together. (El is homeschooled since she needs to catch up on her education)

“You okay?” Will asks quietly as they stand off to the side away from the bustling crowds. “It’s okay to not be okay.”

“I know,” Mike grins down at his boyfriend, which is still so blush inducing to think about, so he blushes. “But, I’m fine. I’ve got you right beside me so I’m definitely okay.”

[saltyfilmmajor]

All the even numbers for the ask meme

2.A picture of me:

4.Last time i cried and why:

Mental Breakdown related to the church, also because my dad still doesn’t know my orientation which added to the stress. It ultimately led to me deciding to leave the church.

6.Favorite band:

Panic! at the Disco Or My Chemical Romance 

8.Top 5 (insert subject):

10.Biggest turn ons:

Kindness, Passion, Nice Soft Hair, A sense of humor, and good communication skills. 

12.Ideas of a perfect date:

Museum Dates. I just want to look cute and have my partner fall in love with me because I am passionate about the things and its adorable. 

14.Piercings i want:

I’d like to just re-pierce my ears as they closed up years ago

16.Favorite movie:

Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation, but you knew that already ;)

18.Phobia:

nuclear war happening while I’m home alone meaning I live through the apocalypse without my loved ones

20.Height:

5′02

22.What’s your shoe size?

sizee 8 or 8.5 in US womens 

24.Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?

I drink but i try to be careful cause I have a history of alcoholism on both sides of the family

26.What’s one thing you regret?

Getting a degree in art, it wasn’t my passion as it turned out, but it was all i liked and knew 

28.Favorite ice cream?

coffee ice cream

30.What my last text message says:

he is so fluffly (above a picture of my dog) sent to my friend 

32.Have you ever painted your room?

Many times. In my old house, i painted to ceilings trying to get a galaxy effect

34.Have you ever slept naked?

A few times. Although once I woke up with my shirt off and i had fallen asleep with it on, and that was strange. 

36.Have you ever had a crush?

....too many

38.Have you ever stole money from a friend?

no never. I could never do that. 

40.Have you ever been in a fist fight?

No, which is good cause I can’t fight well

42.Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

also too many times. although the last time I got rejected I got an apology which is more than anyone else I’ve ever liked did.  the other times i’ve just been ghosted or we’ve never spoken explicitly about it (which is also why I’m never really sure how my old childhood friend would actually feel about us being together but let’s not go down that spiral) 

44.Have you ever made out with a stranger?

nah

46.Have you ever left your house without telling your parents?

a lot. I’m an adult with a car 

48.Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun?

I’ve done that too. I went to six flags once. or i’ll just get bubble tea and sleep at home. 

50. Have you ever seen someone die?

in person no. 

52.Have you ever kissed a picture?

i think i have but i don’t remember why. 

54.Have you ever loved someone or miss someone right now?

i’m not sure i’ve ever loved someone or I was in love with the idea of them. but i do miss my friends and all the people i can’t see now cause of covid.

56.Have you ever made a snow angel?

yeah, when I was a kid and it would snow much more frequently during the winter. 

58.Have you ever cheated while playing a game?

nah

60.Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school?

I’ve fallen asleep during class screenings sometimes. 

62.Have you ever felt an earthquake?

once when i was about 12 i was at the hospital cause my mom had an appointment. We had like a 5. earthquake and they evacuated everyone from the hospital and they uh, left my mom inside. no one came to tell her that they were evacuating. 

64. Have you ever ran a red light?

a few times rip. 

66. Have you ever had detention?

yeah in like 5th grade 

68. Have you ever hated the way you look?

for a long time, I hated my hair 

70.Have you ever pole danced?

i have not

72.Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country?

I’ve been to California when i was 16 

74.Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?

once or twice when i was younger 

76.Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?

not that i can recall

78.Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger?

I’m I virgin lmao

80.Have you ever sang in the shower?

All the time 

82.Have you ever dream that you married someone?

i always do. It’s really important for me. 

84.Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?

Nah lmao

86.Have you ever been a cheerleader?

Nah but i was friends with one 

88.Have you ever brushed your teeth?

of course i have lmao 

90.Have you ever played chicken?

wtf is chicken

92.Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?

no rip

94.Have you ever been easily amused?

It’s a core part of my personality 

96.Have you ever mooned/flashed someone?

No

98.Have you ever forgotten someone’s name?

All the FUCKING TIME 

100. Give us one thing about you that no one knows.

GET IN MY BUSINESS PLEASE:

[theliterateape]

From the Archives: Unpacking Branson: A Thanksgiving Improbability

By Don Hall

For Thanksgiving in 2012, I was single and Mom decided that I should come out to my step-sister's place in Branson, Missouri for a good old-fashioned country Thanksgiving. The carrot was family. The stick was Missouri.

In the late 1960s it was pretty much a tiny city in the Ozarks known for roadside stands peddling wares that proliferated the hillbilly stereotype. And, sure enough, there are still today roadside stands that exist only to continue to make fun of that stereotype. It's an odd thing to walk into a business in the middle of the Ozarks that sells you the stereotype it tries to escape from. Like buying a taxi cab medallion from an East Indian store or an “I’m a Wetback” T-shirt in a store that sells Mexican merchandise.

It is said you cannot judge a book by its cover.

This is true most of the time, but there are some things you can judge immediately by its cover and pretty much know what your getting.

An Ann Coulter book. Sean Hannity. A FOX News broadcast. Great America. Applebee's.

I assumed that Branson, Missouri would fall into this latter category. I was right and wrong. And the complexities made it a real trip to remember.

Branson is where the Beverly Hillbillies came from before moving to California.

A winding series of roads littered with signs and theaters and restaurants. Lots of bumper stickers that declare “I’d Rather Be Dead Than SOCIALIST” and random tributes to past GOP glory. In the three days we trucked around the city, I counted perhaps one hundred people of color the entire time — I didn't start the trip by calculating this but after a bit, it was hard to escape. Thousands of old white people with canes and wheelchairs abounded but that doesn't really look that much different than Navy Pier or the audience at Chicago Shakes — old white people like to be tourists and Branson is, after all, a haven of tourism.

My step-sister, Hannah, tells me that the crack business booms among the residents of Branson and there is evidence around if you’re looking for it. The place is slightly schizophrenic in its place as a home to rednecks and hillbillies while trying desperately to distance itself from that by appealing to the tourist trade. There are places that stink of what one expects in Ozarks — a biker bar called the Hawg Trough that even my pro-GOP brother-in-law avoids and a Smoke Shop that doesn't sell cigarettes and has a pit bull guarding the door. But there are surprises that popped up during my three-day Thanksgiving vacation that defied my pre-judged expectations.

The surprises came in weird ways. When I arrived, we ate at a place called the Rowdy Beaver — a place with T-shirts that trumpeted “I Like Bald Beaver” and “That's A Mighty Nice Beaver” and had washboard walls. The thing that surprised was that the food was out of this world. It was delicious and well prepared and not at all what I expected. “Our chef prepares everything from fresh ingredients,” trumpeted our waitress who seemed completely fine with her job at a place filled with such juvenile innuendo.

The Hollywood Wax Museum was fun but the wax figures left me a bit wanting — a frequent refrain of our visit was my niece saying “Who's that?” and me doing my best to figure it out. I tried to convince my family to go to Silver Dollar City so I could find and steal a urinal cake but it was $60 per person and even I couldn't argue that $300 was reasonable for me to complete a toilet cookie tale. We had tickets to a magic show billed as the World's Largest (by the way, every attraction in Branson is billed as “Show of the Year,” “The Most Amazing in the World,” and “Mindblowing”) but the show was cancelled due to illness. Turns out Kirby VanBurch’s greatest trick is to take your money and disappear.

Our replacement show for the afternoon was going to be either Jim Stafford (I desperately wanted to see this) or SIX (the nieces had heard it was awesome). Stafford only did an 8 p.m. show, so SIX at the Mickey Gilley Theater it was.

SIX is six middle-aged brothers who debuted on the Donnie and Marie Show and have fashioned themselves as sort of an older version of an a cappella boy band. As soon as they started with a cheeseball version of Don’t Stop Believin’, Hannah and I turned to each other with a look of pained resignation. These guys had pretty good voices and the arrangements were fine but the self-consciously hip pose and cornball attempts at cool banter was unbearable. I learned that wanting to see an awful Branson show and actually sitting through one are two different things. I also learned that I will never, as a middle-aged white guy, ever use the words “homie” or “peeps” ever again. To be fair, the second act was better — a selection of Christmas songs and a tribute to their dead mother. Apparently this tiny woman had ten children, all boys, and I suspect she isn't dead but just got the fuck out of there before having to bear an eleventh kid. But the damage of the first act left me scarred and a little terrified of that evening’s show — Legends at the Dick Clark American Bandstand Theater.

Legends is a show that debuted in Vegas and moved to Branson. It is a rotating cast of celebrity impersonators ranging from Barry White, Marilynn Monroe and Tim McGraw to the staples of Elvis Presley and Michael Jackson. Our bill was George Strait, Whitney Houston, the Blues Brothers, Liberace and Elvis. As we entered and sat down, once again surrounded by octogenarians, I steeled myself. This was going to be fucking awful.

And it wasn’t.

Really. In fact, it was a blast. The Whitney Houston knocked it out of the park, Liberace was funny but completely inappropriate in a callback to the dark days of The Gay Closet and the Elvis impersonator was so fucking good, if we had been sitting in the nose bleeds it would’ve been like actually seeing Elvis live. My mom, a huge Elvis fan from when he was alive, commented that he was the best Elvis impersonator she had ever seen. Hell, even my teenaged nieces enjoyed the show.

But we saved the best, most Branson-y show for Saturday. Yakov Smirnoff. Holy shit. I couldn’t wait. I was absolutely certain it would embody everything I expected Branson to be — cheesy, cloying, the very portrait of a has-been celebrity stretching out his 15 minutes of fame as paper thin as he could in the heart of the Vegas of the Ozarks. We were greeted by a giant Yakov head making awful jokes about... the size of his head! Inside, it turned out that Yakov was a painter and had his paintings for sale!

The beginning of the show was the longest version of the national anthem I’ve ever heard (who know there were, like, nine verses?) and then I was hit with another fucking surprise. On the video screens came an old Paul Harvey “The Rest of the Story” about a painter known as Jacob who painted and commissioned a painting in tribute to the fallen at Ground Zero in NYC following the Attacks of 9/11.  Painted on the side of a building overlooking the rubble, it was the backdrop to the first anniversary of the attacks. The painter was an anonymous Yakov Smirnoff. He paid for the commission out of his own pocket.

Some of his show was what I expected: a revisitation of his “What a Country!” schtick from the ’80s—a sketch of him as the president answering questions from the audience, and he actually quoted the Lee Greenwood God Bless the U.S.A. as a closer. But other parts were not at all what I anticipated. Turns out that Yakov went out and got a Master's Degree in psychology and decided that his show could also serve as a relationship counseling session as well. Sort of like Defending the Caveman meets a less arrogant Dr. Phill with the takeaway being that we begin relationships laughing and giving each other little gifts and that, if we simply return to giving each other gifts and finding laughter in our relationships, we’ll be happier, healthier people.

Was it a great show? Not really. The dancers were cheesy and only there to fill time, the jokes were funny in a “Yeah, I remember that one” sort of way, the political stuff was tame (although at one point, Yakov asked the audience who was happy with the results of the latest election — a smattering of applause that included my mother and I enthusiastically cheering — and who was ticked off by it — a thundering, slightly ugly ovation — with the Russian comic commenting “Yeah, that's about even...”) and the recurring pro-America stuff was hard to hear after a while. But the thing is... I liked him.

I mean, I really liked the guy. He was so overwhelmingly sincere and genuine. Christ, I wanted to hug him. And, while his show is corny and inoffensive and gentle and perfect for the Branson tourist crowd, this is a guy who lives in Branson, Missouri suggesting that people spend time laughing and loving one another instead of being shitbags.

Prejudice is a funny thing. Judging books by their covers is what we do as people. I imagine it’s a hard drive instinct. But, as I am often heard saying, while we are all unique and precious snowflakes and each of us is completely distinct, we are all made of fucking snow. We all are simply people trying our best to get along in the world. Yes, that means that our baser, uglier instincts come to play like ordinary people rioting in a Walmart on Black Friday to get a discount on a portable DVD player. It also means that our better, more generous nature comes into play, and sometimes it's nice to be reminded that even in Red State Hell, Yakov Smirnoff is telling thousands of people every week to just be fucking nicer to each other.

On Thanksgiving, the point is to be with friends or family and celebrate those things in our lives we are (or should be) thankful for. Sure, the holiday is laden with cultural markers that include the genocide of the Native Americans and our national quest to bequeath every American with diabetes but the point is gratitude. Gratitude can come from a lot of places and I’m thankful to remember the lessons I learned in Branson. 

[theadgrodcast]

What did they say Wednesday?

Original Podcast episode release date 11/26/21

You can listen to this or past episodes anywhere you listen to podcasts!

Not sorry this isn’t a Metallica Cover band

1:45 min in

(Series of grunts)

I’m not sorry

What you come to see

A Metallica cover band called

the soy boys

well

that’s not what you get

when you walk in bitch

You’re here to listen to me

start to stitch

together a weaving puzzle

Just coming out of my muzzle bitch

just listen to what I have to say

it’s great

and I’m not sorry that I’m not doing a Metallica song

no I’m not sorry that you came so far away to see

a Metallica cover band called the soy boys

cause what you got is me

oh what you see it ain’t a James Hetfield

no motherfucker this shit is the real goddamn deal.

Oh I’m not sorry about your disappointed feelings today

if you came to see Metallica then you just better fucking stay

and see what you got is the ADGROD

I see the disappointment in your eyes

but my carelessness I just can’t disguise

I don’t give a shit

if you like all of their hits

it’s not Metallica you see it’s the ADGROD

The ADGROD and me… (inaudible)

See!

Lava face

5 mins in

Well baby I’m a human volcano

and you better get the fuck away

cause if you don’t well soon you will know

because the lava will start to come out of my motherfucking face

my face gets so red hot

there’s lava coming out of my snot

I can’t stop blowing up I’m like mount for Vesuvius

so shut up

I’m gonna pour over you

my lava my anger my bad attitude

the rocks shoot out up

into the sky

they’re gonna fall inside

and burn your eyes

My rage is unparalleled

my emotional level will send you straight to

Hell

Hell (echoed)

Crack 401kaine

7:22 min in

Crack cocaine

I love the consonance

crack cocaine it is a constant

crack cocaine it sounds so nice

it sounded so good I did it more than twice

crack cocaine

crack cocaine

well I’m sorry this ruined your life

it’s quite the opposite for me

I have four kids and a wife

and a fine degree

from a city town

that I used to live but now

I live in New York City

really easy to get

crack cocaine

crack cocaine

helps me maintain

this easy feeling that I live inside my brain

Crack cocaine

say it with me

crack cocaine

do it with me

crack cocaine

craccka lacka crack Alaca crack crack cracka cocaine

Well I’ve got a business meeting

and this terrible feeling

it is constantly eating

but it doesn’t really matter

because I know

where to go

to score some sweet crack cocaine

and now that I’m straight

I had directly to my meeting

that I made exactly at 8

AM

and I got a raise because I’m such an easy crack cocaine user

extremely responsible

The Flash Bob

10 mins in

I got the message it was going down at six

had to get my gear had to make sure I had my fix

that means my oatmeal

I went down to the local mall to see

what the group of 11 or maybe there were 80

it’s time to do the flash mob

hello how are you my name is Bob

I’m here for the flash mob

it’s going down it real soon

and it will happen directly when you hear this tune

so now is the time

and I start to dance around

and I’m looking all at the people that look at me right down

on the first floor

And I spent in the air

and then I look around and realize I’m the only one there

its Flashmob in a mob

but not a mob at all

it’s just me dancing by myself standing in this dang mall

and everyone’s looking at me and laughing and I plan it off

but deep inside I’m dying I’m dying

because I’m flash Bob without a mob

I used to be a real big loser and a slob

but I decided to go out and start to do things

I was so excited to dance in a ring

of people in surprise

in front of everyones eyes

who are shopping at the gap

and they will stop and look at that

and we did a really cool dance to thriller

and one to queen too

but I looked around and I didn’t see you

It was Flash Bob no mob

just flash Bob in the mall

everyone it was laughing

but that is not all

I got beat to live in fucking hell

and that is because no one told me that the mob was another day oh well oh well oh well

I’m flash Bob I make everything as best as it can be

so I’ll keep dancing

even though I don’t have my pants on

and someone kicked me in my Pee Pee

Oh well the day is over

I’m washing on up

I get back to my home

I pour myself a cup

I start to reflect on the day

and how it went and I say

flash Bob

another great job oh

Have you ever looked into a mirror

14:30 mins in

Usually my hair is pretty straight

and I look pretty great

and I get out by eight

but now I got to take the time

to make sure everything is in line

so I’m looking at my face in the mirror for the first time

goddamn I’m beautiful

I never knew that this was true

I just looked at all of you

but now I’m looking at me

and what do I see

is a really gorgeous R.O.D.

and it’s so handsome that it makes me

just sit and stare

because I can’t believe of such a thing

I can’t conceive of such a thing

what do I do buy a diamond ring

for myself?

Is that what I do?

Is that the plan?

That I stand in front of this fucking mirror

and fall in love with this fucking man

yes it is yes it is

I got on my knees and asked me to marry me

so now we’re gonna get together

and have a honeymoon near the sea

Just you and me in the mirror

I got a bring you on it’s a scare

I’ve got to love you

now you and I will be true

It’s just me

and the mirror I bought from IKEA

it’s just me

and I’m happy we are happy as happy as can be

so my question to you

is that you looked in the mirror?

Do you know the truth about your face?

Have you ever looked in the mirror?

And wanted to change your hair your look and your fucking face?

I need mirrors all around

need them on the ceiling

and I need them on the ground

and the walls

give them all

bring your mirrors from the malls

now it’s time look at me time to get is the R.O.D.

that’s all right

I’m so pretty

look at me

it’s a city

shining on top of a hill

If these looks could kill

I get 1 million years

if these looks could kill

I’d be a Thanos gear

if these looks could kill

you all would die

and then I’d sit there

and I fucking cry cry cry

but I have myself I have me

I’d be fine with my mirror

and the R.O.D.

So do yourself a fucking favor and look in the mirror and then say to yourself well I’m no R.O.D.

well I’m no I’m no I’m no R.O.D.

(say it one more time)

I’m no I’m no I’m no I’m no I’m no I’m no I’m no R.O.D.

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 2565

today i stayed in bed for a while, contemplating death because it was 91 degrees outside and felt like 99. so i stayed inside and texted lisa and freeda that i wasn't going to be at stained glass tonight, because besides the godawful temperatures and my propensity to overheat and sweat to the point where i can't fuckin use my hands, my transmission still hasn't been fixed. james is ordering the part it needs so he can fix it for me.

but also, a listing i found last night (for a potential place to move for me and the eggs) was having an open house today, and james asked if i wanted to go, so i said sure. i was maybe twenty minutes out and james said he wouldn't be able to make it because he was still working at the garage on stuff (probably my car tbh) and i said no worries, i will. so i went and toured the house and looked at stuff and on the way back i called the eggs and gave them my honest opinion of the place. an iffy 6/10. past water damage, the oil tank and furnace and water heater are in weird places. small bathrooms. the kitchen was nice, and the deck was cool and the downstairs would've been a perfect game room, but the rest of it, the little details, the things that matter? no. so we decided to pass. but they still offered to get me ice cream, so i headed over to their apartment to see them.

chelsea and i went and got ice cream. at this point, all i had eaten was two chocolate frosted donuts with rainbow sprinkles. and then i had four scoops of ice cream, also with sprinkles, but they were jimmies this time. joel texted and asked me what was happening and i told him i was hanging out with the eggs. i hope to see him at some point this week. i miss my joel when i don't get to see him. so hopefully, when my transmission gets fixed, i'll be able to go over and stay over for a while. actually get to hang out with joel since my paper is now finished. i do have those few matlab assignments to do, but in comparison it's like going to the dentist instead of performing a frontal lobotomy on yourself. i would much rather go to the dentist.

-> flashback/ADHD brain,

also, before the open house, i got to talk to FF today again! today was their birthday, and they had the day off from work. they were able to do fun things and have a relaxing day and hang out with the dogs, and it makes me happy that they had a good day.

we also talked about chocolate again, so i have more things to try, but i need to try the ones i already have first. i may do that this weekend. but yeah. i like getting to talk to them. ☺️

-> and then, back at the egg's,

i ended up wanting bad burgers so i said "hey i'm gonna go get myself some shitty burgers" and they said "where" and i said "mcnaldos" and they said "get me some" and "i'll pay if you get us some" so i said "ok" because i'm not gonna say no to free food, yknow?? it took a few minutes to determine what i was gonna get for us all and then i grabbed the card and left. made it back with food that wound up being pretty good, actually - the chickie nuggies were hot and fresh and delicious. unfortunately i only got one sweet and sour sauce, and that only goes so far, and chelsea had been chickennapping nuggies from james, so i gave him the last two i had to replenish his nuggie supplies. the burgies were mcnaldos burgies, so i can't really complain. the fries were really good too, they had the right salt content, and as those were passed to me first, i crouched in a goblin position and consumed the fries like the absolute gremlin i am and james got a kick out of it.

shitty burgies and good nuggies later, i came home and watched the last touchdown of the first football game of the season, and then we finished the episode or whatever was on hallmark movies and mysteries, and then it was murder she wrote. i've been on a major kick of it, because there's four episodes back to back of it on HM&M every night, and me being awake to work on my paper late at night has allowed me to watch many episodes of it. sometimes i'll watch the first episode of magnum PI that comes on after, but i usually watch the first five minutes to see the mustache and the bad attitude before heading up to bed.

but not tonight.

tonight is the peak of the perseids, and i was tired anyway, so after the second episode of murder she wrote i turned off the tv and went outside. i saw four meteors! i think, actually, that three were meteors from the perseids, and the other was low-orbit space junk, because it (1) fell from a different direction, (2) was much dimmer, and (3) lasted longer than the others i saw.

it was the first time i'd seen any of the perseids.

also? i was standing in the back yard, and because of the extension between the house and what used to be the garage, the streetlight out front is blocked. i can actually see the sky. you can see the milky way. so many stars. i checked the weather before going outside. it said it was partly cloudy, but i didn't want to risk it, so i checked myself. i was very surprised to see a crystal clear sky. so i was out there for a bit.

it was truly beautiful.

yknow, sometimes i think about what i do and what i'm studying and i feel like it's not what i should be doing, yknow? because i don't feel like i'm smart enough or good enough or that anyone will take me seriously, and other things like that that wear you down and exhaust you with the "what if"s that make your head spin.

but looking up at the sky tonight reminded me why i'm studying to be an astrophysicist. it's because i love the stars. the night sky. the cosmos. all of it. it was my first love, and i don't know if i'll ever love anything as much as i love the stars. it's kind of romantic, honestly; looking at the stars with wonder and awe, seeing things you normally can't, feeling how small you truly are in the scale of the universe. it's amazing. it's terrifying. but i find it's a lot like falling in love.

-> adhd brain strikes again

while i was in line at mcnaldos i got a snapchat from andrew and he said that his wife came up with an idea for a book that we could write. like. and internal monologue for the day. adhd brain: the book. and i'm so on board with that. narrating what pops in my head all day?? fuck yeah.

-> anyway.

looking at the stars tonight and finding myself thinking about the stars like i have reminds me of that one quote:

"i have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."

(that's sarah williams, but i don't know who she is but attribution is important)

and it reminds me of me. because it's true. behind my house is a lot of woods. it's dark and there's animals that live there. when i was outside, i wasn't afraid of the dark or of the animals. i just wanted to see the stars. and that was all i needed.

anyway it's almost 2am and i am going to bed so i can get up earlier. and then go to bed earlier. so i can get up earlier. i'm trying to adjust my schedule so i sleep for ten hours and wake up for 7. so i'll need to be asleep by 9. so i'll need to be in bed by 8. shit. i don't like that. but that's so i can get to class on time, because not only does it take 80 minutes to get there, i have traffic to deal with, and then i gotta park and walk to my class. so i'm tryina adjust it. sad i'll miss when FF wakes up their time, but i'll be awake earlier so i can talk to them more during the day.

it's a trade-off. but i need that sleep.

i have a few weeks to get there. it's fine.

[austinpanda]

Dad Letter 052321

23 May, 2021

Dear Dad--

Sunday greetings! Yesterday was a big event; we had company for the first time since Thanksgiving. Same company, as it happens, plant scientist guy and husband of plant scientist guy, also known as Bryan and Andrew. By this past Friday, the last of us to get vaccinated--Zach--was two weeks past the date of his second vaccination. Since it’s now deemed safe for vaccinated people to mingle without masks or social distancing, we’re going to attempt to have a life outside the trailer again. So we celebrated this by inviting people into the trailer for an afternoon!

I’m not sure how it happened, but a plan developed for them to come by at 2:00 and make us all caprese salad. Then I would make corn dogs, and then we’d have rice pudding Zach made for dessert. We were going to have caprese salad because Bryan recently learned how to make it. Imagine a plate with six tomato slices on it, spread out, and each one has a slice of mozzarella cheese on it, with a basil leaf on top. Then you drizzle all six of those shits with olive oil and a bit of balsamic, and salt and pepper. That’s a caprese salad. I was making corn dogs because I made a joke about contributing corn dogs, but everyone likes corn dogs so much, it became part of the official plan. And we were all going to try the rice pudding because Zach wanted to contribute something without having to cook, and this was something he’d made (in accidental abundance) just the day before. Pretentious Italian salad, bourgeois hot dog snack, and, out of nowhere, rice pudding.

The visit was quite a success. The caprese salad was good, because any dish that allows you to stuff cheese into your mouth is good. And the rotten commie bastards at the grocery store didn’t have any corn dogs (I even asked, and they didn’t have any in the back, either.) so I got Johnsonville sausages (like big fat sausagey hot dogs) and buns. We watched some funny stuff and some high-def nature documentary stuff on the TV. I’d promised to tell them all the secret stuff about working in a casino that I’m not supposed to tell anyone, but when the moment came, I couldn’t think of anything. I haven’t learned any interesting secrets yet! I’ve just learned how to complete the daily food and beverage audit, and a couple others. If I started describing, in detail, how I do it, you’d quickly fall asleep.

Tomorrow should be an interesting day at work! The whole time I’ve been working there, the casino has been operating on its post-apocalypse business model. Two thirds of all the slot machines are simply turned off, so different patrons won’t sit too close to each other at the slot machines. Been like that for months. Tomorrow, however, they’re going to turn on all the slot machines for the first time since before the apocalypse began. I expect it will be weird. It’s like I’ve been on a cruise ship, but it was only at 33% capacity, only going 33% as fast as it could, with the lights only at 33% brightness. Now everything’s going back to 100% all at once. It’s going to feel noisy and unusual, I predict! But it’s all good. This is a step back toward normalcy.

The job is currently an odd mixture of comfortable familiarity and daily exposure to terrifyingly confusing new shit. To sum up, there are seven audits I will eventually learn. I’m starting to think of them as the seven pillars of bureaucracy. So far I’ve learned three. The potential iceberg that could sink this ship is this: when I’m doing audits, I’m interacting with some very important, complex, inter-connected spreadsheets, and there’s a very real potential that I could break something. Tyler has explained to me that some things I’m going to be doing involve the potential for me fucking up large and important things. I asked him, “We’re going to be real careful about training me to NOT do that, right?”

I have learned, to my dismay, that it’s ridiculously easy to fuck up a spreadsheet! Here’s an example. You make a spreadsheet, there’s columns, and headings, and numbers, and data, and let’s say there’s one box in the spreadsheet where you tell the spreadsheet to put the total of a bunch of numbers in the column above. You literally put a little equation into that cell of the spreadsheet, so that after you enter the numbers in the column, the spreadsheet calculates the total and puts it in that box automatically.

Now let’s say you’re doing your job, and instead of letting the spreadsheet put the total in that box, like it’s supposed to, you decide to be Mr. Initiative and just type in the total yourself. You enter the total into that box where you told the spreadsheet to calculate it. Well, congratulations, you’ve just broken your spreadsheet! Now, the next time someone puts the numbers into that particular column, the spreadsheet won’t put the total in the appropriate box, because the equation has been removed, by you, when you put the total in by hand yesterday. Now it just has that number you entered in that box, FOREVER. Someone has to figure this out, go back to the appropriate point, and replace the deleted equation so the spreadsheet works properly again. And the boss looks at you with a frown, and says frowny things about being careful where you put data on the spreadsheet. And I’m sitting there thinking, “I didn’t know this kind of fuckup even existed till five minutes ago.”

It’s just now full-blown spring here in Maine. And, to Zach’s great distress, it’s getting warm. We’re expecting our first day of highs in the mid 80s to come this Wednesday. That might not seem like much, but without air conditioning, that’s going to make it close to 90 degrees inside. I am therefore going to have to reinstall the window unit air conditioner that I bought last year. (Yes, I uninstalled it when the weather turned cold, so I could have the use of that window for the next 8 or 9 months.) It’s a strange kind of window unit, and I probably described it last year when I got it. It’s like a white suitcase standing on end, with a Black & Decker label, and there’s a dryer hose-type thing that pushes hot air out of a hole in the window, instead of the whole unit sitting in the window. So you don’t have a big, unsightly AC unit in your window, but you have a sleek white suitcase thing on your living room floor instead. It’s not ideal, but the suitcase then pumps out enough cool air to prevent you from sweating to death, and we’re in favor of that.

To add a degree of difficulty, I’ve resolved to install it in the living room window this time, instead of the smaller, easier dining room window. I don’t know how to install it into a window that big, so I may have to get creative (i.e. duct tape). This will solve one crucial problem, however: putting the AC unit in the dining area was kind of stupid, because no one spends time there. That was just the easiest window to install it in. It needs to be in the living room, where the people actually go. I’m curious to see what I’ll come up with, and how it’s going to look after I’m done.

The coming work week should also be interesting because we think corporate is going to allow us to take our masks off while we work, assuming we’re fully vaccinated, which I am. Having to work with a surgical mask when you also wear glasses is such a monumental pain in the balls, so lifting the mask mandate at work is going to be a very sweet occasion. Plus, there’s about two dozen casino workers who are going to see my face for the first time, and I predict at least a couple of them will spontaneously disrobe, because they like my beard, and my purty mouth, and my jawline (which I have one of, now that I’ve lost weight). Should be interesting!

More next week. All my love to you both!

[wizardpepsi]

All evens! :3c

2: Do you play video games; what is your favourite?

i mean i guess i do but its pretty much just pokemon games (which reminds me i STILL haven’t finished ultra sun)

4: What is your favourite restaurant?

theres a restaurant back home that my old art teacher owns that has rlly good pizza. we got a lot of that when i was home for winter break and it was great

6: What is your favourite TV show?

hmmmm probably the last airbender. like i had such fond memories of that show and i just rewatched it and god. it holds up

8: Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, or are you married?

ye i have a gf! she’s amazing ☺️

10: Do you want kids; how many?

not sure how many rlly, but yeah i do!

12: If you could move anywhere in the world, where would you go?

idk….. like someplace quiet. a cabin somewhere in the woods where i don’t have to be around a lot of people

14: What about a celebrity crush?

tessa thompson always

16: Do you want to learn any languages?

i mean yeah pretty much always my mood but god idk if i could actually do it

18: Do you profess any religious faith?

not really

20: Do you prefer living in urban or rural areas?

rural definitely 

22: Who is your best friend?

hghghghh i really don’t have like One. I’m not the sorta person to have like a single best friend, i just sorta 

26: Does anyone have a crush on you? Do you feel the same?

why does this question assume i would have the spatial awareness to know if someone had a crush on me

28: Weirdest food you’ve eaten?

i once broke open a chai tea bag and ate what was inside but idk if thats like. “”food””

30: Do you have any siblings? How many?

i have a younger brother!

32: Favourite type of cake?

im not a super big fan of cake but sometimes i just. need that sorta shitty grocery store cake

34: Do you prefer cold or warm weather?

oh cold definitely! i basically dress for cold weather all the time lol

36: If you drive, what type of car do you drive?

i don’t really drive :/

38: What job do you want?

idk honestly. I’m pretty lost on what i want to do

40: What is your favourite song at the moment?

already done!

42: What is your favourite period of history?

the carboniferous :) those bugs sure were big as fuck

44: Who is your favourite Disney Princess?

uhhhh i barely know anything abt disney media but. the little racer girl from wreck it ralph? she was a fun character

46: If someone gave you the keys to a cabin in the woods with all the modern necessities (electricity, internet, etc), would you take their offer?

YES 

48: Do you have siblings?

yeah god are there 2 sibling questions on this thing

50: If you have a girl/boyfriend, how did the two of you meet?

we originally met online in a discord for trans women and when we figured out we were going to school in the same city we met up irl. and then we both got crushes on each other but figured the other didn’t feel the same way, so we both didn’t wanna make a move kljhkgfjlgkh

52: Where are some places you would most like to go?

idk im not super duper into traveling. like i really try to be as lowkey

56: What’s the weather like where you live today?

its like 80 degrees :(

58: Where do you want to end up in life?

i just wanna live in a small town with my wife :’)

60: Do you have any bizarre hobbies?

i don’t think so?

62: When do you generally go to sleep?

lately its been 2 in the morning but usually its at midnight

64: Name one unpopular opinion you hold.

FLAT SPRITE TASTES GREAT

66: How many followers do you have?

545!

68: Do you like nature?

yeah!!! a lot

70: How long have you been on thise website?

uhhh god. its been fuckin 4 years? or something

[l-a-r-r-yspellslove]

The 5,000 Question Survey - Part One

1. Who are you? Hi, I’m Ronda. 2. What are the 3 most important things everyone should know about you? one - I try to be as non-judgmental as possible. two - I say fuck a lot. three - I like to make stuff and bake stuff and write stuff and draw stuff. 3. When you aren't filling out 5,000 question surveys like this one what are you doing? Reading, watching tv, writing, making stuff, working on puzzles, babysitting my niece. 4. List your classes in school from the ones you like the most to the ones you like the least (or if you are out of school, think of the classes you did like and didn't like at the time). art, french, theater, math, uhhhh history, science. From high school, like 10 years ago :/

5. What is your biggest goal for this year? uhhhh to be more financially responsible. I’ll have less money once my niece starts kindergarten in the fall and that means I need to spend less and figure out other ways to make money. 6. Where do you want to be in 5 years? Fuck, I don’t know. The future gives me anxiety. Like, major anxiety. 7. What stage of life are you in right now? The I’m completely fucked up and don’t know where this is going stage. 8. Are you more child-like or childish? Child-like. 9. What is the last thing you said out loud? “She said they were having a weiner roast.” 10. What song comes closest to how you feel about your life right now? Girl - Maren Morris or Don’t Let It Break Your Heart - Louis Tomlinson 11. Have you ever taken martial arts classes? nope. 12. Does your life tend to get better or worse or does it just stay the same? mostly the same. Pain days are worse. Energetic days are better.  13. Does time really heal all wounds? As a spoonie, I say no. 14. How do you handle a rainy day? Well, rain tends to trigger a migraine, so I spend it in bed or wishing I was in bed. 15. Which is worse...losing your luggage or having to sort out tangled holiday lights? Losing your luggage. 16. How is your relationship with your parents? I have a good relationship with my mom, I think. We get along and all. My dad, on the other hand, I don’t talk to much. I feel like as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized more how things that happened when I was a kid affected me. And he used to yell a lot and I’d hide in my room and cry. So. Yeah. Will you miss them when they are gone? I’m sure. 17. Do you tend to be aware of what is going on around you? Sometimes 18. What is the truest thing that you know? Life isn’t fair. 19. What did you want to be when you grew up? uhhh, when I was really little I remember wanting to be a teacher. Later, I wanted to be a translator. I remember at one bible camp I thought I could learn obscure languages and translate the bible for them. When I was in college, I started to realize I wanted to be a writer I think, but I majored in Marketing because it seemed like a safer option and I was too far into a business degree before I realized I hated business. And yeah, so I minored in English Lit. And that degree hasn’t ended up doing me any good because I ended up applying for disability not too long after graduating college. 20. Have you ever been given a second chance? I can’t think of a specific instance, but I’m sure I’ve been given many. 21. Are you more of a giver or a taker? Giver. 22. Do you make your decisions with an open heart/mind? Try to. 23. What is the most physically painful thing that has ever happened to you? a Chiari headache. 24. What is the most emotionally painful thing that has ever happened to you? when my grandpa died. 25. Who have you hugged today? no one. It’s Saturday and I’ve been home alone most of the day. 26. Who has done something today to show they care about you? I can’t think of anything today. My mom did some of my laundry yesterday, so I guess I’d count that. And H is always doing sweet little stuff. 27. Do you have a lot to learn? Always 28. If you could learn how to do three things just by wishing and not by working what would they be? Coding - I mean, I know little things, but if I could be like a computer whiz, it’d be great. Mastering photoshop - Same as above, basically. and uhhhhmmmm, maybe like knowing every language or at least every major language fluently?

29. Which do you remember the longest: what other people say, what other people do or how other people make you feel? How they make me feel. 30. What are the key ingredients to having a good relationship? Communication, trust, consideration. 31. What 3 things do you want to do before you die? A - have a meaningful romantic relationship B - impact someone’s life in a significantly positive way C - travel around Europe 32. What three things would you want to die to avoid doing? A - running a marathon B - living completely alone in the world C - reading After and its series 33. Is there a cause you believe in more than any other cause? equal rights 34. What does each decade make you think of: The 19.. 20's: flapper dresses 30's: idk like the depression? 40's:the war? WWII? 50's: poodle skirts and Grease 60's: idk, ummmm, yeah, i got nothin’ 70's: totally blanking 80's: lots of colorful clothing and big hair? was that this decade? 90's: childhood, Friends, friends, elementary school 2000′s: junior high, high school, graduating high school

10′s: college, the decade that America voted orange scum into the presidency

20′s: hopefully the decade that America votes better

35. Which decade do you feel the most special connection to and why? I feel like this is such a 90s kid answer, but I guess the 90s because it was before everything started drastically changing so much. Like, technology and stuff. 36. What is your favorite oldie/classic rock song? Old Time Rock and Roll the kinda music just soothes the soul. I reminisce about the days of old. With that old time Rock and Roll. 37. What country do you live in and who is the leader of that country? USA, orange scum. If you could say any sentence to the current leader of your country what would it be? Eat dirt and die trash. 38. What's your favorite TV channel to watch in the middle of the night? TVLand it used to be before the age of netflix and streaming and such 39. What Disney villain are you the most like and why? is the Cheshire Cat a villain? Because I want to answer him, because he has no direction and is terrible at giving directions haha 40. Have you ever been a girl scout/boy scout? I was a girl scout from kindergarten through 7th grade. 41. If you were traveling to another continent would you rather fly or take a boat? Fly 42. Why is the sky blue during the day and black at night? I dunno. Something to do with the sun. 43. What does your name mean? Grand 44. Would you rather explore the deeps of the ocean or outer space? Outer space. 45. Word association What is the first word that comes to mind when you see the word: Air: water Meat: balls Different: same Pink: fluff Deserve: reward White:clouds Elvis: hair Magic: sparks Heart: filled Clash: titans Pulp: fiction 46. If you could meet any person in the world who is dead who would you want it to be? Walt Disney 47. What if you could meet anyone who is alive? Harry Styles 48. Is there a movie that you love so much you could watch it everyday? Frozen and Frozen 2 and all of the Toy Story’s 49. You are going to be stuck alone in an elevator for a week. What do you bring to do? enough food for the week I assume is included. Laptop, ipad, a few books, chargers for laptop and ipad, a sudoku book, yarn and crochet stuff 50. Have you ever saved someone's life or had your life saved? I don’t think so.

51. Make up a definition for the following silly words... Fruitgoogle: verb. To search the web without aim. Ambytime: noun. The time at which to amble around. Asscactus: noun. A prick who knows and doesn’t care that he’s a total prick. 52. What was the last thing you made with your own hands? Crochet dress for my niece. 53. What was your favorite toy as a child? I remember this big semi truck that I loved a lot. 54. How many TV’s are in your house? Four 55. What is your favorite thing to do outside? I don’t like going outside, tbh. I guess I’d say swimming, though. And I don’t really like to do that much, sooo 56. How do you feel when you see a rainbow? Happy 57. Have you ever dreamt a dream that came true? Oh yeah. 58. Have you ever been to a psychic/tarot reader? Nope. 59. What is your idea of paradise? An endless library filled with every book, tv show, movie, musical, play in existence with and super comfy chair and an endless supply of whatever food I could think of wanting. 60. Do you believe in god and if so what is he/she/it like? God is love.  61. Do you believe in Hell? Everyone carries a little piece of hell around inside of them. 62. What one thing have you done that most people haven't? uhhh crocheted an entire blanket? 63. What is the kindest thing you have ever done? I have no idea. 64. Are you a patient person? Some days. 65. What holiday should exist but doesn't? Reading day. 66. What holiday shouldn't exist but does? Columbus Day 67. What's the best joke you ever heard? fuck, i don’tknow 68. Where is the most fun place you have EVER been? Disney World, duh. 69. Is your hair natural or dyed? dyed but my roots are showing terribly because my hair grows so fucking fast. 70. Do you have any deep dark secrets or are you pretty much up front? I’m fairly upfront, but not many people know I write fanfic, especially don’t know that I write smutty fanfic haha. 71. What is under your bed right now? A lot of storage stuff and my suitcase that is also storing blankets i believe 72. If you were in the Land of Oz would you want to live there or go home? I don’t think they had WiFi, so I’m gonna say go home. 73. If you drive do you frequently speed? Just a little 74. What is the world's best song to dance to? Best Song Ever hahahahahahaha 75. What song was on the last time you danced with someone? I cannot remember the last time I danced with anyone or by myself. I don’t really dance much. Maybe high school prom lol or maybe ZTA formal 76. Do you prefer Disney or Warner Brothers? Disney 77. What is the first animal you would run to see if you went to the zoo? penguins 78. Would you consider yourself to be romantic? yes 79. If the earth stopped rotating would we all fly off? i don’t think so? 80. What is the one thing that you love to do so much that you would make sacrifices to be able to do it? write 81. If you (and everyone) had to lose one right or freedom, but you could pick which one everyone had to lose, what would you pick? the right to own/use a gun for anything other than hunting wild animals. and only the animals that you’re supposed to be allowed to hunt like deer and stuff. 82. If you had to choose would you live on the equator or at the North Pole? There isn’t even a place to live on the North Pole, is there? What kind of question is this? I will answer the South Pole because that’s where people do live (scientists but still) and there are penguins.

83. Would you rather give up listening to music or watching television? oh god. Don’t make me choose. 84. What do you think makes someone a hero? I think hero is more of a verb than a noun. And putting others’ needs ahead of your own. 85. What cartoon would you like to be a character in? Frozen. 86. Name one thing that turns your stomach: like, seed pods or whatever they’re called that have all the uneven little holes and stuff? I don’t even know what they’re called exactly but the give me the fucking heebiejeebies 87. What was the last thing you paid for? Yarn 88. Are you a coupon clipper? Sometimes 89. Get anything good in the mail recently? I finally got Louis’s CD that was included in my concert ticket purchase today. 90. Which would you rather take as a gym class...dancing, sailing, karate, or bowling? bowling 91. In Star Trek people 'beam' back and forth between different places. What this means is they stand in a little tube and their molecules are deconstructed and sent to another tube somewhere else where they are reassembled. Only problem is when the molecules are deconstructed the person is dead. When they are put back together it is only a clone that has all the dead person's memories. So... Is the person who gets beamed the same person on both ends? Technically, it’s a clone, but clone’s are the same person basically? So no? But soft of? 92. What insects are you afraid of? Bees, wasps, anything that has a stinger. 93. If you could print any phrase on a T-shirt, what would it say? Dude, this is 2020, you can totally print any phrase you want on a t-shirt. I’m currently contemplating a Golden Girls shirt, though. Either ‘Picture It Sicily 1922′ or ‘Eat dirt and die trash’ 94. What's the most eccentric thing you have ever worn? I wore a rainbow tutu to pride? Does that count? And my hair is currently blue, so I feel like probably that. 95. If you could pick one food that you could eat all you wanted but it would have no effect on how much you weigh, what food would it be? OREOS 96. What are your parents interested in? uhh, my dad watches a lot of tv and my mom likes to craft and hoard crafting supplies basically. 97. Have you ever caught an insect and kept it as a pet? I had a caterpillar that I kept and was disappointed when it turned into a moth. Have you ever caught and tamed a wild animal? No. 98. What is more helpful to you, wishes or plans? Wishes 99. When do you feel your life energy the strongest? when i’m writing 100. You are spending the night alone in the woods and may bring only 3 items with you. What do you bring?

phone (with flashlight and a full battery), sleeping bag, and water

[gaytrashgoblin]

I was tagged by: oh, surprise surprise, @freaking-isadorkable

The last 1. drink: Literally drinking a diet coke right now 2. phone call: my sort-of-ex-friend Mackenzie 3. text message: From my older brother 4. song you listened to: Listening to the Hit me with Your Best Shot/ One Way or Another mashup from glee 5. time you cried: Not sure exactly, like a week ago I think Have you ever 6. dated someone twice: Nope 7. kissed someone and regretted it: Nope 8. been cheated on: Not that I know of 9. lost someone special: Hasn’t everyone? 10. been depressed: Hah, that’s funny 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Never drank, so no. Also, vomitting= hospital for me soooo 3 favorite colors 12. dark blue 13. black 14. white In the last year have you: 15. made new friends: Yeah 16. fallen out of love: No 17. laughed until you cried: Probably 18. found out someone was talking about you: Don’t think so??? 19. met someone who changed you: probably 20. found out who your friends are: I guess? 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: Nah General: 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I don’t use Facebook soooo 23. do you have any pets: My child, the love of my life, Quinn. She’s a pit mix that we got from the pound

24. do you want to change your name: nope, i’m good 25. what did you do for your last birthday: Got a tattoo 26. what time did you wake up: like 8:30 ish? 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Listening to some various drag queens’ music and writing fanfic 28. name something you can’t wait for: My next tattoo or piercing- which will be christmas 31. what are you listening to right now: Cool Kids glee version? I’ve got a glee playlist with 200+ songs on so i mean 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: No 33. something that is getting on your nerves: Right now, I feel like crap so my head is being a bitch 34. most visited website: tumblr probably 35. hair colour: Dark brown for the top half, then the purple/blue on the bottom half 36. long or short hair: for me, long hair. For others whatever they want is cool 39. piercings: Got the standard ears then my industrial in my right ear 40. blood type: B I think? I could be wrong 41. nicknames: I am the Baby Gay, and sometimes “sister” or “seester” 42. relationship status: Single and eating pringles 43. zodiac: Taurus 44. pronouns: she/her and they/them are both fine for me 45. favorite tv show: Oh god. Uh. The first few seasons of bones were the shit, and charmed, but only after Pru died. 46. tattoos: I have one on my right wrist with my family’s names, and then my pride tattoo on my left shin 47. right or left handed: right 48. surgery: I’ve had 3 endoscopies (snake a camera down my throat to look at my stomach insides), a cardiac ablation (removing an extra piece of tissue from my heart that caused tachycardia) and I had my adenoids taken out 49. piercing: yes, like I,,, said above? I want a nose ring too but I dont have it yet 50. sport: uh... i may or may not have played basketball one year,,, 51. vacation: Japan. Just, like, Japan 52. pair of trainers: (that means shoes right???) anyway, I love my black high-top converse and wear them almost every day More general: 53. eating: just had chicken nuggets? 54. drinking: diet soda, what else 55. i’m about to: who tf knows i sure dont 56. waiting for: next summer so i can graduate college with my AA (basic degree) 57. want: a hysterectomy no joke. i wouldnt ever survive a pregnancy health wise, so i have no use for it. just take it out. 58. get married: yeah, someday that would be cool. 59. career: i wanna be a gd writer, but im going to school to be a lawyer, cuz, ya know, writer isnt always a safe option with no back up plan. Which is better: 60. hugs or kisses: hugs i guess? 61. lips or eyes: eyes for sure 62. shorter or taller: to find someone,,, shorter than me,,, they would have to be a child,,, so taller,,, 63. older or younger: usually my age so not really either. but at this age going younger would be creepy and predatory so probably older. 64. nice arms or nice stomach: im not bothered by body type, tbqh 65. hook up or relationship: *demisexual laughter* 66. troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant. i aint need yo ass getting me in more trouble than i do myself Have you ever: 67. kissed a stranger: nope 68. drank hard liquor: no. 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: I’ve had glasses since I was 2... I have broken more glasses than I have had years on this earth 70. turned someone down: yep 71. sex on the first date: nope 72. broken someone’s heart: probably :( 73. had your heart broken: yeah, it fucking sucked 74. been arrested: havent been arrested, but I have had the cops called on my for domestic shit if that is of any interest. 75. cried when someone died: yeah, our first dog. 76. fallen for a friend: kind of? Ive had crushes but never like, full fledged fallen Do you believe in: 77. yourself: that’s hilarious 78. miracles: not really 79. love at first sight: i think you might feel a pull towrd someone or have a gut feeling, but its not love, no. 80. santa claus: to quote 5 yo me “its preposterous to assume a man can, not only fly with animals that do not exist or have wings, make it around the world into each individual house within approximately 8 hours.” 81. kiss on the first date: sure why not 82. angels: i dont really know Other: 83. current best friend’s name: shitlark- aka the bb brother 84. eye colour: brown -_- 85. favorite movie: Pitch Perfect 2, Girl’s Trip, and the very last Twilight movie

Ill tag these nerds @quinnsgardenia, @karolsens, @wearmypainlikestilettos, @kaidence-elyse, @dragonslairfilledwithapples25, @the-essence-of-awesomeness, aaaand @sxottlang