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#sure get to and they lost one of those roots so they can either sit at the pools for fuck knows how long until someone else shows up bc
appelia · 1 year
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♡*♡∞:。.。 Main 4 + Butters Relationship HCs
IMPORTANT: all my characters in my fics are aged up to 19-24. Side note: excuse my poor English.
warnings: none applicable
reader gender: gender neutral
a/n: this is my first tumblr fic, i hope it's enjoyable! :)
Stan Marsh
I see Stan as a bit of a hopeless romantic
But when he does get into a relationship, he either totally lovebombs, or gradually becomes obsessed with you over the years.
He definitely needs reassuring for EVERYTHING (/neu)
"Is it okay that I'm holding your hand? Are my hands too sweaty? I can let go if you want."
But over time he becomes comfortable with you, and knows that if you're ever uncomfortable, you'll tell him right away.
He loves cuddles, so long as it's not in front of his friends, as he doesn't want them teasing you.
Actually a gentleman, will stop to tie your shoes for you.
His ideal date night: Sitting in his or your bedroom and blasting music while drunk.
He'll get up and make you dance with him, the two of you stumbling around in your dunken haze.
You'll both laugh so hard you wind up in tears and on the floor.
Overall, both of you have flaws. For what it's worth, he's a great boyfriend, so long as you help each other try and patch those flaws.
Kyle Brovlofski
He's a lover, this one
Despite the fact that he's rather inexperienced with relationships, he treats you like the royalty you are.
He has many insecurities, but will work overtime to make sure that you yourself love yourself fully.
Speaking of insecurity, he's very jealous.
If you're chatting with someone, and he notices them getting a little too comfortable, he won't hesitate to walk over and hug you from behind, putting his chin on your shoulder, maybe even kissing your cheek if the person is still flirty.
He may not need constant reassurance, but when you two start dating, he'll accidentally avoid you out of fear he'll mess something up.
While Stan may be a gentleman, Kyle is the epitome of the word Chivalry.
He'll force you to stay in the car until he's walked around and opened the car door for you.
His ideal date night: The movie theater! Nothing wrong with a good old fashioned movie date.
He'll accidentally blow a bag on the expensive ass movie theater snacks, but it's worth it for you.
He WILL spoil you.
Eric Cartman
He acts all tough and stuff around his friends, but behind closed doors, he's your babygirl.
Demands kisses and cuddles at all given moments.
In front of his friends, he'll firmly wrap an arm around your waste.
"Yeah, this is my bitch." (More like he's YOUR bitch, but you don't say anything and just go along with it.)
He'll complain, but he secretly loves spoiling you. Maybe because you spoil him too.
He doesn't show his jealousy outright, but if he sees you talking to ANYONE around your ages, he is internally FUMING.
His ideal date night: People watching at a park, making fun of passerbys.
He'll literally make fun of the way he sees someone breathe.
He may be an awful person sometimes, but you even him out slightly, Kyle will say he's gotten soft because of you.
He has, but he'll deny it to the ends of the Earth.
He makes you playlists and gets mad when you don't listen to them as soon as he makes them.
Kenny McCormick
Kenny is an ex-fuckboy. When he realized his crush on you, he quickly dropped all his flings.
He is absolutely smitten with you.
He honestly gets angry that he doesn't get spoil you. He'd give you the world and more if it didn't have a price tag.
That being said: He's a total perv, he hasn't lost his roots completely.
Will make dirty jokes at any given moment just to fluster you, doesn't matter who you're with.
He's 100% okay with PDA. In fact, he initiated it first.
Will straight up make out with you in public any where.
Doesn't talk much when you two are around others, but at night, lying in your bed, you two will have the deepest conversations.
Cried of happiness in your arms the first time he stayed over at your house for the night, because you made him bring over his family's laundry and you did it for free. (You constantly help his family with things they might not have access to, mostly discreetly b/c you don't want them feeling like a charity case.)
His ideal date night: Laying in the grass at midnight and watching the stars, occasionally making out.
He loves everything about you, and will always make that known.
Butters Stotch
He's such a sweetheart.
He loves kisses, but gets really shy everytime you kiss him.
It's rare he ever uses your actual name to address you. He mostly uses pet names like angel, baby, sweetheart, etc.
You knocked that weird misogynist phase out of him and for that he owes you big time.
He's insecure about his scar and prosthetic eye, so you always make it a point to tell him how beautiful he and his eyes are.
To him, you hung the stars in the sky.
He doesn't want to mess things up, so he asks Cartman for advice. Which was a bad idea, because he ends up doing/saying something really stupid and it takes you two days to forgive him.
He makes up for it by apologising 400 times and buying you a basket of candies.
His ideal date night: Either going to the aquarium or the beach, right after eating dinner at a nice restaurant.
He loves to lay on your chest and listen to your heartbeat.
One night, you accidentally drop him off five minutes past his cerfew, and stick up for him when his parents give him a hard time. Because of you, they only grounded him for three days instead of two weeks.
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eddiebun · 2 years
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I think Eddie would be really good at helping an anxious reader when fireworks are going off. Sit inside with them, holding their head against his chest to listen to their heart and covering the other ear with his hands, or maybe playing guitar loud enough that you can’t hear the explosions (it’s me I dislike fireworks)
he would !! i’m not personally scared of fireworks but i hate them, they’re dumb and i understand why they’re so scary, it’s just so loud, they spook my dogs too so grrr
fluff, just tooth-rooting fluff, reader is anxious, reader fits into eddie's shirt
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you had been dreading it for a couple days now, those big extravagant flickers of colourful light in the air that would fizzle into smoke and the constant bang bang pop— fireworks.
who invented fireworks? eddie would personally like to know because he had quite the bone to pick with them when he found out you, his partner, were scared of those obnoxious loud displays of celebration that would happen this weekend.
“can i stay with you on the weekend? the fireworks are so loud near my house, maybe it’s not too bad at your place..”
he didn’t tell you but before you came over for the weekend he had bought brand new blankets, some of your favourite snacks and even a sweet little stuffed bunny that reminded you of him, he even covered it with his favourite shirt so it smelt like him, he knew you’d appreciate that.
“hi angel.” you heard his sweet coo open opening the trailer door, stepping up and your arms clinging around his chest already, “oh sweetheart..” he frowned, feeling how tense you were.
“c’mon, you won’t even think about em’” he tugged you inside gently by the palm of your hand and swiftly into his bedroom, you noticed much to your surprise— he had tidied up and a bundle of blankets were lying atop of the bed, and alongside the comforting fabric you saw the teddy with his favorite shirt, and even your favorite snacks surrounding the plushie.
“e-eddie..” you blabbered out, feeling your eyes glass over at the sweet gesture he had taken the time to do for you, "that's so nice i—" your bottom lip quivered, feeling his arms envelope around you and squeeze tightly, plush lips pressing a comforting kiss to the top of your head.
"so, i got your favorite cassettes all laid out, two headphones or we could watch a movie, either way, i'm gonna be snuggling you all night." his mouth creased into that charming smile of his, feeling yourself getting a little dazed from his velvety chocolate eyes, his delicate features letting you unwind any strain on your muscles and anxiety bubbling in your mind, eddie munson was the prettiest man you'd ever laid your eyes on.
"y/n? lost you there a little." he chortled, hands squeezing either side of your arms and you laughed quietly, leaning up and pressing an endearing kiss to his lips.
"thank you, for everything." you pulled away from his lips and nestled your head snug against his chest, hands dipping under his shirt and relishing in the warmth emitting from him.
"it's nothing." he grinned, pretty proud of himself if he did admit.
you felt him squeeze your hips before you were tugged over to his bed, sitting at the edge, "arms up." he cooed and you did as you were told, letting him tug off your shirt to change it with his, kicking off your pants and curling up, smelling him on the piece of fabric.
eddie sighed contently, taking a hold of the cassette with the two flimsy headphones attached by a long black wire, gently placing one set over your ears after making sure you were comfortable, placing soft kisses on your neck.
he pressed play and set his headphones on too before snuggling up behind you, large, warm hands stroking over your tummy and sides and you let yourself go limp, muscles relaxing and soft breathing matching his as the first song he picked out played in your ears.
you shifted around a little, giggling when you almost got tangled in the headphone wires, careful hands coming up to cup your cheeks and soft kisses being trailed from the top of your head down to your lips.
you barely even heard the fireworks start, so very much in your own little world that the little pops and crackles were dull and empty compared to your favorite track in your ears and the love of your life right in front of you, looking as gorgeous as ever.
i love you, he mouthed, followed by a grin overtaking his face, and your nose scrunched at his cute little expression, mouthing back an i love you too, before your head settled at his chest, rising and falling with each breath escaping and inhaling into his lungs.
you were safe, so very safe.
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millenialcatlady · 1 year
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Claire. Love of my actual life.
Tell me please pretty please about getting tipsy with Eddie
Issa. Baby. My Forever Valentine 💌
He's so sweet when he's tipsy I want to actually die every time.
It's those puppy dog eyes that get me every time. EVERY SINGLE TIME.
He's been looking at you for hours. Hours and hours. Or at least it feels like it's been that long. But then again when all you can think about is the way it feels like his eyes are burning into you.
Every time you've looked for him across the room, his gaze is waiting. Those luscious chocolate eyes are always deep. But when he's really feeling good, they're endless. So deep and dark that you know you could drown in them.
And you want to.
He can't keep his hands off you either. Once he's through with whatever game or conversation he's been caught up in for the last hour, you're being snatched by the waist and yanked back into his chest faster than you can even wrap your brain around it. Once his hands are on you, there's no escaping. Not that you really want to go anywhere 😏.
One of his hands is rooted to your body at all times. Rubbing your arm, kneading at your waist or back or hip. Pulling you shamelessly into his lap or the space between his spread legs if he's perched against the wall or leaning against the table.
The giggling and fruitless attempts at wrestling away doesn't last for long either. Every light tracing of his fingers over your skin has had you burning for him for the last hour. And he knows it. He knows exactly which places to let his fingers linger to drive you crazy, and he's been rewarded many times over by the gentle roll of your hips or ass against him as you shift around.
"You're so fucking cute, baby" He whispers into your hair, careful to make sure that the heat of his breath hits you in that tender spot behind your ear. Arm snaking its a way around your body so that he can turn you around. "You know that right? You know how crazy you make me all the time?"
"I don't know Ed, maybe you'll have to show me."
You've got him now.
The hitch in his breath gives him away, and his mouth is on yours in a second. God is it easy to get lost in him. Your arms draped over his shoulders and his hands moving until they find a comfortable place to rest.
Before you know it the reverie is broken by Robin and a startled "You guys!" and Steve barks out a "Munson, come on man, get a room!" over the low rumble of your gathered friends but you barely hear them. You're too busy giggling at the way Eddie's cheeks have gone scarlet as he glares at Steve, flipping him off over your shoulder.
"Come on, Sweetheart." Giving your side one last squeeze while he ducks to plant one more sloppy kiss on your neck.
There's barely have time to set your drink down before his thick fingers grasp at your wrist and drag you to the front door.
Eddie's back hits the van hard, too hard, and you nearly tumble but he's got you. Strong arms directing your soft impact into his chest. It's rough, but neither of you mind. You're too focused on each other, breathy laughter mixing with moans muffled by lips and tongues fight for the upper hand as you get lost in the moment.
When you finally have to surface for air, he's such a beautiful mess that you're ready to devour him. Bitten lips stretched into a lopsided grin, frizzy curls around his face like a halo in the dim street lamp light.
And those eyes.
Dark and deep. Heavy-lidded and looking as hungry for you as you feel for him.
You fumble for the door handle behind him and he's a little confused. "Baby, what?-"
A step back leaves enough room between for him to lean forward while the door slides open behind him.
You kiss him again and all his concerns seem to disappear as fast as they showed up.
"Sit down." You urge him back until he relents, looking up at you now as his hands continue to grasp at every inch of your hips and waist keeping your body close. All the while peppering your sides and stomach with nips and soothing kisses.
"Baby." He asks, speaking only between kisses. "What. Are. You trying. To do here?"
"I think you have a perfectly good idea, Eddie Munson."
He grins up at you, and pulls you down so he can plant another sloppy, slow kiss on your mouth. "I don't know Sweetheart, maybe you'll have to show me."
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movieexpert1978 · 2 years
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Garden Stroll
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Just saw your message about your requests being open. How about a fic with his character from Breakable You? I’d love to read a fic where the OC doesn't leave that wonderful man for his BROTHER (who happened to be an ex). 😅😊
sorry this took me so long to get done anon. I wrote this and then I lost motivation to get this posted. I’ve just been going through a lot right now. I haven’t been motived to write at all either, so sorry about that. 
This is NSFW, safe sex, swearing, 
She wasn’t surprised to see Paul out front tending to his garden. He must have gotten an early start as he had certainly built up a sweat. She hurried inside with her things and grabbed a cold Gatorade for him.
“Hi Paul,” she smiled coming over to him.
“Oh hey there,” he nodded as he got up.
“I figured you could use a drink,” she said handing him the bottle.
“Oh thank you very much,” he nods and starting drinking. “Ahhhh…that’s good, nice and cold.”
“How’s the garden coming?”
“Oh, it’s coming, been putting in all kinds of flowers.”
“Any veggies?”
“No, even though I probably should. I’m not one for a vegetable garden. I’m a flower guy,” he says holding up a tulip.
“Your garden is always beautiful regardless. I need to do some of my own.”
“What’s that?” He asked curiously.
“Removing tree stumps,” she groaned.
“Yeah, those are always a pain. If you need a sledgehammer let me know and you can borrow mine.”
“You got a sledgehammer?”
“Yup.”
“Awesome, thanks, I’ll keep that in mind,” she smiles. They go back to their own houses, and she starts working in her back yard. Paul chuckles to himself as he sometimes hears her moaning and groaning. “Damn tree stumps,” she huffs. “Get out you stupid roots!” She shouts at one point. Paul has to cover his mouth to keep from laughing too loudly. Once he’s done with his plants he heads back inside. He sneaks a glance in her backyard to see her refilling a hold she dug up, with a small stuff off to the side. Paul puts a water in the freezer and gives it a few minutes before he goes outside to return the favor.
“Here’s some water,” he announces.
“Thank you,” she sighs and eagerly drinks. “I’m sorry…I was probably way too loud,” she blushes.
“No, you were fine. I found your colorful commentary quiet hilarious actually,” he chuckles.
"Yeah...I do that a lot when I work. I didn’t need the sledgehammer this time thankfully, just went around digging them up and cutting up the roots.”
“That’s not a bad method. It saves you a bit of money.”
“For now,” she sighs. “How have you been doing Paul?” She asks kindly as she starts to pick up her things.
“I’m alright, just keeping myself busy,” he nods. He knows what she means as his divorce had just been finalized a few weeks back.
“Not too busy I hope.” He helps her put some of her tools back in the garage.
“No, just the garden and a little house work every now and then. I’m alright,” he nods in appreciation.
“That’s good. Well, thank you for your help. I need to take a shower ASAP,” she groans fanning her face.
“Alright, you have a good night.”
“You too Paul.”
Xxxxxxxx
The shower felt amazing and afterwards she laid down for a nap, not caring if she had a late dinner. She woke up to some kind of noise. It took her a moment from her sleepy haze to realize that someone was knocking at her door.
“Just a minute!” She shouts. She puts on some shorts and does her best to look presentable before she opens the door. She blinks in surprised when she sees Paul, changed and looking refreshed.
“Sorry…I hope I’m not bothering you.”
“Oh no, you’re fine. I needed to get up anyway. I haven’t had dinner yet,” she shrugs.
“Well…I was going to ask if you wanted to come over for a drink,” he asks shyly.
“Oh sure! I’d love to!” She answers excitedly. “Wait…should I change?” She asks suddenly nervous.
"No, you're fine,” he shrugs. She gets her sandals on and follows him. He sits her down in the kitchen and heats up a plate of food for her. “Oh Paul, you didn’t have to…”
“No, it’s ok. I cook like my mother and made way too much food for myself,” he smirks as he puts the plate down.
“Well, I can’t say no to a good plate of pasta.” She starts eating and gives him a thumbs up. “Mmmm…perfect comfort food,” she groans in delight.
“I have some sweet wine if you would like some,” he says after a moment.
“I’d love some!” He pours her a glass and gets himself a beer before he sits back down. “Thank you so much Paul. This is lovely.”
“You’re welcome. I’m sorry I guess I have been a bit lonely,” he admits quietly.
“Paul, I’m so sorry. You can talk to me if you want.”
“Sometimes the quiet gets to me. I think I need a dog,” he chuckles.
“I love dogs. I grew up with cats and dogs. The silence drove me crazy when I first moved into the housed…shit…I’m sorry, you were talking,” she sighs in frustration, but Paul only laughs.
“It’s alright, as I’ve said I enjoy your colorful commentary.”
“Well…are you really ok?”
“Just lonely I guess,” he shrugs. “Work can only distract me for so long as well as house stuff. I knew it was coming for a while now, but now that it’s happened it just feel odd, you know?” She nods as she quietly eats. “I just feel odd…out of sorts. Have you ever had that happen to you?”
“Yeah, a lot lately.”
“Still hungry?” He asks pointing to her plate.
“Could I have a little more please?” He gladly gives her another serving along with a refill on her wine.
“So what’s going on with you?”
“Just trying to handle being thirty?”
“What? You’re thirty? No way!” He gasps.
“Yup.”
“I thought you were twenty-two.”
“Thank you but sadly no.”
“Well, you look beautiful.”
“Thank you Paul,” now they’re both blushing hard.
“Hey have I ever given you a tour of the house?”
“No, I don’t think so, actually I think this is the first time I’ve ever been in your house.”
“What? I though for sure you’ve been here at least once before,” he says confused.
“No, sorry,” she says shaking her head.
“Well let me change that,” he says getting up. “Obviously this is the kitchen,” he laughs.
“I really like it! The wood cabinets look beautiful.”
“Thank you,” he says surprised.
“My mom always like wood cabinets and all that,” she explains getting up with her glass. She follows him to the living room, which is nice and spacious and has a big TV.
“At least I got to keep the TV right?” He laughs. “I was ready to start looking for apartments, but my ex-wife basically moved right in with the next guy. Just have to pay spousal support,” he sighs bitterly.
“I’m sorry about that.”
“It is what it is,” he shrugs. He shows her the half-bathroom downstairs before taking her upstairs. “Master bathroom, guest bedroom, and a little office. I’m lucky enough to work from home most of the time. Here’s my bedroom,” he opens the door and lets her in.
“Very nice,” she compliments. “It’s very cozy. I can’t afford a second floor,” she laughs poking fun at her own house as she sits on the corner of the bed. She finishes her glass and Paul takes if from her as she feels the mattress. “Oh wow, the bed is soft!”
“Memory foam.”
“No way! I love memory foam!” She gasps excitedly. “I got a memory foam pillow and I love it.” He smirks as he leans in closer to her.
“Want to try it out?
“Yes…”
He’s on her, kissing her deeply as they crawl up the bed. She moans into his mouth as he grinds his already hard cock against her shorts. His mouth trails down her neck making her shudder once he finds that sweet spot. He rasps as he uses his tongue on that spot. He moans get louder and she clutches at his shirt. He grabs the back of her head to expose more of her neck as he starts nipping at her skin. He can’t help but growl at the sounds she’s making under him.
“Ouch!” She yelped suddenly. Paul jumps back as if he burned her.
“Shit, sorry, I pulled too hard,” he says embarrassed. “Are you ok? Do you need some ice?”
“No, I’m ok Paul.”
“Did I jump the gun?”
“You’re fine…to be honest I’ve had a crush on you,” she blushes.
“A crush on me?”
“Yeah…” she giggles nervously.
“Well, thank you, I’m flattered. I think I’ve got a crush on you too.” He leans in and kisses her gently this time. “So…do you want to keep going?”
“Mmm-hmmm,” she answers against his lips. His hands go under her shirt and she eagerly takes it off for him.
"Oh fuck…” he groans happily as he starts to suck on her breasts. He’s careful not to bite this time as her hands run through his thick hair and down his back. One of his hands goes down to her panties. He swears he feels his cock twitch at how wet she is. “Is that for me?”
“Yes Paul.” He gives her another kiss before he gets his shirt off. She can only briefly admire his physique before he dives in between her legs like a man possessed. He throws her legs over his shoulders as his mouth is on her pussy. “Oh yes,” she gasps as his tongue is all over her.
“Damn, you taste so good,” Paul gasps as he keeps going. His peppered beard added pleasurable friction on her folds. He eats her up all over, savoring every sweet drop. She cries out and her hips buckle when he sucks on her clit. When he pulls away his forehead is sweating and he’s gasping hard, but grinning.
“What?” She giggles.
“You’re so fucking hot.”
“You are too,” she pulls away a little to sit up.
“Can you do something for me?”
“What’s that?”
“Ever heard of sixty-nine?” He asks deviously. She gets up and they quickly settle on the bed with her on top of him. She licks her lips at the sight of his leaking cock, before she takes him into her mouth. He moans against her pussy as he’s on her all over again. She carefully moves up and down his length, taking a little bit more of him each time as her tongue swirls around the tip. His grip is getting tighter on her thighs and he smacks her ass. He moves her hips with his large hands so he starts fucking her with his tongue. She does her best to reciprocate and move faster along his length. His legs squirm slightly as he tries to keep still. He “cheats” by rubbing his thumb on her clit. She grunts in surprise around his cock and cums suddenly. Paul eagerly licks her all up before he releases her hips and lets her slide off of him. They look at each other as they’re panting and they burst out laughing.
“You’re amazing,” Paul sighs with a big grin.
“You are too,” she blushes. He gets up and helps her lay down comfortably before he gets a condom off the night stand.
“You ok?”
“Yes,” she nods. He brings her to the edge of the bed and holds her legs as he slowly thrusts his cock inside her. “Ooooh….fuck…” she groans in delight at the stretch. He moves carefully at first, but soon she’s eagerly moving her hips as well. Paul grunts as he looms over her. She pulls him into a kiss, groaning into his mouth as he presses a little deeper. “There…right there…” she gaps.
“There…” he grunts with a hard thrust making her gasp.
“Ahhh…yes…yes,” she whines. Paul keeps moving at that hard tempo making her squeal. She does her best to hold on, but Paul is right on the mark and she bursts. She shouts as she clenches around his cock. He freezes with a groan of his own as he feels her. He stops for only a moment to admire her. Her face is staring up at the ceiling with pure bliss in her eyes. He stands up again and grabs her legs so they’re against his chest. His arms hold them together tightly, which tucks his cock inside her nicely. Their hips slap together as the bed rocks a little.
“Damn, your pussy feels good,” Paul groans. He feels up her firm legs as she watches him, while panting softly.
“Careful with my feet!”
“Why?”
“I’m ticklish. I don’t want to kick you in the face on accident,” she laughs. Paul chuckles too as he keeps going. He soon starts sliding almost all the way out before thrusting back in.
“Mmm…fuck…” he sighs.
“Faster…faster…”
“Faster…greedy little thing aren’t you?” He teases.
“Yeah…I am…I’m greedy for your dick,” she grunts.
“I like that,” he grins as he starts slapping his hips hard against. “You’ve thought about this haven’t you?”
“Yes Paul…a lot…”
“Yeah…you think about me fucking you?”
“Yes…yes!” She nods frantically.
“Me too…been wanting to fuck you for a while now…just go in your house…shove you down and put my dick in you…” He’s moving faster now chasing his own release. She’s groaning deeply under him. He gives her extra attention again by rubbing on her clit. She whines and digs her nails into the bedsheets. “Come on baby…you can do it…one more…I know you got one more…” He can’t hold himself back anymore as he thrusts as deep as he can. He lets out a sputtered groan as he cums, but thanks to his fingers she cums one final time. For a while it’s just them breathing and riding out their pleasurable high. He’s careful when he gets up. “Want a washcloth?”
“Yes please.”
“Hot or cold?”
“Hot please.” He gives her a little kiss on the cheek before he leaves. He comes back, cleaned up a bit, and her washcloth in hand. She takes it and cleans herself up as he puts his shorts back on.
“Need anything?”
“No, thank you.”
“You’re cute when you use your manners,” Paul smirks as they get comfortable in bed. He wraps an arm around her carefully. “So…that wasn’t the wine was it?”
“Nope.”
“Ok…me neither,” he blushes.
“I’ve got no regrets…can we keep doing it?”
“I’d love to,” he grins. She giggles and blushes hard into his chest.
“Can I stay the night?”
“Of course,” his finger tips trace her back gently.
“Want to hear something weird?”
“Sure.”
“For the longest time I always wanted to get with my brother’s wife. That’s very bad on my part isn’t?” He admits.
“No, they got divorced and I could tell she wasn’t over him completely. I understand. I definitely know that I’m over my wife. We weren’t happy for a lot of years,” he sighs.
“Divorces suck.”
“You said it,” he nods in agreement.
“Want to hear something weird?”
“He-he…yes.”
“I’ve always had a crush on older men.”
“Well I guess you’re in luck,” he teases. “You know…I need a quick nap, but think I’m done with you. It’s still early.”
“Oooh…I like that,” she blushes.
“You’re all mine this weekend,” he purrs as his fingers rub her skin.
“Mmmm…best weekend ever.”
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jshepardtsoni · 1 year
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Freya has been alone for so long she must be touch starved but since she was so tortured and tormented by Odin she also must be terrified of being touched. She was ok with a child (Atreus) and her twin brother (twins have special connection) but with anyone else? It'll be probably difficult for her.
I had to sit on this one for a while.
We don't know the depths of her pain just as we don't know what was really done to her. Mimir doesn't know either, that's why he asked her. Her answer was sarcastic and didn't say much but even that was enough for Mimir to drop the topic. We can only imagine how cruel Odin was with her for decades before he locked her up in Midgard. The deseperation in her when she was breaking the roots and then, when she was getting out a sword... It's something I've never seen before in any other game tbh. I'm not sure if I've ever seen it in any show or a movie either.
I think she likes giving hugs and being hugged but as you mentioned, it's reserved only for those she's not afraid of atm. As a mother who lost her son 3 times now she craved for a child so no wonder she's fine with Atreus, a boy who saw her as a mother figure ever since they met and also craved for physical contact with her. They had a special connection since 2018. Her brother used to be the closest family she had all those years ago and yes, he was her twin. She's different with the others and so far we've only see her shake hands with Kratos. She trusts him. But is it enough for something more? Probably not yet but I don't know. What I do know is that he's patient. He'll know what to do. And first, I think, she need to properly grive for everything she's lost and she shouldn't be doing it alone. I'm quite surprised we've only got one funeral btw. There should've been one more - for Freyr.
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sansxfuckyou · 4 months
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oh yeah?
Most recent Kenman fic. What inspired it? Any lessons or morals? Be ignorant be gay? 👉👈🥺
before we begin talking about Contractually Obligated we need to start with some small pre-ambles
1: it's intended to be the final piece of a trio of fics, one wherein Cartman is taking the aforementioned photographs of Kenny (mentioned when they're making out on a car), and one wherein they have a big ass chat about how they should hook up now that Kyle is dating Stan (Cartman is already out of town). will I finish either of those fics? fuck if I know, do they exist in my head without fail and keep me motivated to keep going? absolutely
2: I usually write kenman fics to fill the gaping void, to cope with the complete lack of kenman fics. I also use the kenman dynamic to explore different scenarios that I can't entirely justify with K2, Stenny, Crenny, etc, etc- because sometimes Cartman is the only one who hits the specific vibe I'm shooting for.
3: they would've had gay sex on screen but I wanted it to be safe for tumblr so we only get a scene of them smoking in bed like in the movies just to make sure people understand that they hit it hard
now, actually talking about the fic itself
see, i have a fixation with the whole 'if we're both single' type of contract, because it can go two ways. both parties struggling to prevent the contract from happening, or both parties shrugging off attempts to prevent it. in this case, they gave up on preventing it, and almost forgot about it, style and creek both happened so why not try and hook up right.
but they are both stubborn, repressive, idiots! and they won't just ask each other out because no, that's pretty fuckin' faggy, and Cartman won't lower himself to that. he will lower himself to going on a date with Kenny only in the case of a bet, or a contract, because there's no control over that. he can't control it, it's not of his own volition, he's not gay if he does it, he just lost a bet. Kenny on the other hand? he's kissed all of his friends, fuck, he's slept with all of his friends because of course he has.
the pre-existing dynamics, my god, kill me now, they make me go insane. Kenny is Cartman's best friend, and Kyle and Stan are less Cartmans friend than Kenny is. already we have a rooted relationship, they're close, so very, very close, and Cartman remembers when Kenny dies (he briefly states Kenny dies all the time in the ep where he buys an amusement park). there's this dependency you know, Cartman goes to Kenny because no one else will actually listen, and Kenny listens. they ran a restuarant together! thats fuckin gay as shit!
i am getting off point, very off point, sorry. but basically, they made this contract age thirteen, and Kenny knows Cartman will still be single, because of course he will. it's just a convenient excuse, quell the anxieties. and you know what? it worked, Kenny got a partner (will be disclaimed in the unwritten fic) and so did Cartman, and that contract was as good as dead. they could just tear it up and move on.
but no, nineteen, Cartman is fresh out of town, and he calls up Kenny to tell him he finally got a girlfriend. and Kenny is so fucking happy for him, the contract fades into obscurity and that point it's entirely out of Cartman's head. Cartman gets dumped first, and he doesn't dare call up Kenny, but when Kenny gets dumped? they are sitting on the phone, consoling each other, and just bullshitting like long distance friends do.
two more years pass and Cartman is back in South Park and he knows what must be done, he's been waiting patiently for it. and he'll never tell Kenny that he dumped the chick in the same way Kenny will never tell Cartman he got dumped because his partner found the artfully nude photographs ('to test lighting!') that Cartman took.
'so what? they both fucked their relationships?'
big fucking what, it wasn't purposeful, remember, that contract has faded into obscurity. Kenny never thought the photos would come up and Cartman isn't getting what he wants, someone to remind him of his best friend. they require each other, Stan and Kyle got together, Craig and Tweek married at age twenty one, Butters is off with Tolkien, yuri happened between Bebe and Wendy- everyone is together.
except for Kenny, he's single in South Park and no one is available for him, and Cartman, single out of South Park and he's been asked out once or twice at that. he turns them down, he has business to fulfill and he refuses to leave this contract unfulfilled. he's been waiting for this, for the dominoes to finally fall so he has an excuse to get what he wants and so does Kenny.
sure, it's subconscious, but they've always had each others backs. they'll never get married (unless they make another elaborate bet for Cartman to lose so he has his personal excuse), they'll never have kids, they'll never call each other boyfriends in the public eye, even rarely around friends and family. 'it was a fluke' Cartman keeps saying whenever they're caught in public, 'I lost another bet' he needs his excuse, he needs his reason because he can't just have something this nice.
Kenny on the other hand? oh how he revels in what he's finally attained with a man as untouchable as Cartman. that he can finally have the brunette to himself, that they belong to each other instead of defying a fact as simple as that they should've coupled off so long ago. but again, Cartman needs his reasons, and Kenny respects that, he respects that they'll only be lovers in private and that they'll always be friends in public. because this is good enough, it's almost what he's been waiting for since he was thirteen.
in short: the tension of this fic weighs heavily on Cartman being inwardly homophobic, and to an extent outwardly, despite knowing he wants Kenny. an addition to the tension is Kenny being queer, no fancy labels and entirely out, the entire worlds know at this rate. he is gay and Cartmans safe way to step foot into being a little bit gay despite the idea making him feel ill (he can't, he's failing himself if he is). he can't be romantic with Kenny for a reason as simple as 'i love him' and Kenny will keep giving Cartman all sorts of elaborate schemes and reasons now that the initial barrier is broken.
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all54321 · 1 year
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Going way back to the start with how Scar became Father Spore.
Some info about the hive mind/source first though: The initial source is just weird mutated mycelium, which has some advanced intelligence, it can’t rival a human’s, nor can it spread as easily. Hence why when it senses Scar, it tries to take him over. At the start, the source is in complete control, but it doesn’t take long for Scar to figure out how to take primary control instead. It’s around then when he takes the moniker Father Spore. Scar is very protective/defensive over the source, since it still is what keeps the whole hive mine alive. It’s in the center of the resistance’s territory and completely hidden. Only Scar knows where it’s located, so he’s the only one infected by the source, hence why he’s the strongest of the infected.
—————
Scar walks through a trail in the woods, lost in thought over the recent events. While Scar isn’t happy about losing the mayoral campaign, he’s also not angry or spiteful about it either. He couldn’t be anyway, those are still his friends, no matter what. Although he isn’t sure what to do now.
He’s so lost in thought, that he doesn’t realized he’s strayed from the trail until he trips over a root. Abruptly pulled from his thoughts, he pushes himself up and looks around him, quickly realizing that he has no idea where he is. After looking around for a bit, he picks a direction he thinks will take him back to the trail and starts walking.
This proves to be the wrong direction as the ground suddenly caves beneath Scar’s feet. He yelps in shock as he completely falls through, landing hard on the ground below. Once the daze clears, he feels a strong, sharp pain in his leg. He looks over at it, fearing the worst, being surprised when it looks fine. Of course, looking fine doesn’t mean anything.
Scar glances around the area he fell in, it’s a small cave with mushrooms sprouting along the walls, the only light being from where Scar fell in. He looks up, coming to the unfortunate realization that he definitely can’t climb back out that way. In the darkness, he can see the cave going deeper.
It’s probably extremely unwise to travel farther into a dark cave, but it’s not like sitting around will help him escape. He pushes himself to his feet, leaning on the wall for a support. The longer he stares into the darkness, the more details he notices. Mainly because some of the mushrooms have started glowing.
Without another thought, he begins walking down the ominously lit tunnel. The longer Scar walks, the more he notices just how many mushrooms are covering the walls and floor. Especially the farther he goes through, the glowing ones especially growing in number and… intensity in their glow. He’s beginning to think staying put might have been better.
Scar pauses when he comes across a fork in the tunnel, one is almost completely dark, while the other continues to have the glowing mushrooms. On one hand, the light is nice; on the other, this situation is starting to feel incredibly creepy and ominous.
Before he can come to a decision, he hears something call to him, beckoning to him. Almost in a trance, he continues to follow the glowing mushrooms.
Scar’s only faintly aware of how it’s getting harder to breath the deeper he goes, of how there’s an unrecognizable taste to it. He soon arrives to a room that is extremely stuffy and heavy. It is also extremely dense with mushrooms and mycelium. There’s something tangible, but unplaceable, in the air.
Scar steps farther into the small room, looking around it, breathing in the… spores? He stumbles against a wall, everything feeling dizzy suddenly. He slowly falls to the ground, collapsing on the mushroom strewn floor as he loses consciousness.
When Scar returns to consciousness, everything feels clearer and more refreshing. Looking around the room, he notices that most of the mushrooms have stopped glowing, only emitting a faint light now. Despite this, he can see everything in near perfect detail.
As Scar stands up, he notices a humming in the air, a humming under his skin. A connection to everything around him. It’s invigorating, but it’s also lacking. He can only feel throughout this small cave system, Scar really thinks there should be more. That it should be spread even farther. The humming increases, as if agreeing with that idea.
Scar casts another glance around the cave, breathing in that spores deeply. He’s going to need to make some friends to help him out, and maybe even request his previous ones to join him. He begins going down the tunnel to the exit, he has a job to do.
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bluiex · 1 year
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Decided to write how Scar became Father Spore in my AU. It was very much an accident, not that Scar can complain…. Literally. He can’t actually complain, the hivemind rewired his mind to enjoy mycelium and want to do this. He’s still himself, but he just really loves mycelium now and wants everyone else to love it as much as he does :D
—————
Scar walks through a trail in the woods, lost in thought over the recent events. While Scar isn’t happy about losing the mayoral campaign, he’s also not angry or spiteful about it either. He couldn’t be anyway, those are still his friends, no matter what. Although he isn’t sure what to do now.
He’s so lost in thought, that he doesn’t realized he’s strayed from the trail until he trips over a root. Abruptly pulled from his thoughts, he pushes himself up and looks around him, quickly realizing that he has no idea where he is. After looking around for a bit, he picks a direction he thinks will take him back to the trail and starts walking.
This proves to be the wrong direction as the ground suddenly caves beneath Scar’s feet. He yelps in shock as he completely falls through, landing hard on the ground below. Once the daze clears, he feels a strong, sharp pain in his leg. He looks over at it, fearing the worst, being surprised when it looks fine. Of course, looking fine doesn’t mean anything.
Scar glances around the area he fell in, it’s a small cave with mushrooms sprouting along the walls, the only light being from where Scar fell in. He looks up, coming to the unfortunate realization that he definitely can’t climb back out that way. In the darkness, he can see the cave going deeper.
It’s probably extremely unwise to travel farther into a dark cave, but it’s not like sitting around will help him escape. He pushes himself to his feet, leaning on the wall for a support. The longer he stares into the darkness, the more details he notices. Mainly because some of the mushrooms have started glowing.
Without another thought, he begins walking down the ominously lit tunnel. The longer Scar walks, the more he notices just how many mushrooms are covering the walls and floor. Especially the farther he goes through, the glowing ones especially growing in number and… intensity in their glow. He’s beginning to think staying put might have been better.
Scar pauses when he comes across a fork in the tunnel, one is almost completely dark, while the other continues to have the glowing mushrooms. On one hand, the light is nice; on the other, this situation is starting to feel incredibly creepy and ominous.
Before he can come to a decision, he hears something call to him, beckoning to him. Almost in a trance, he continues to follow the glowing mushrooms.
Scar’s only faintly aware of how it’s getting harder to breath the deeper he goes, of how there’s an unrecognizable taste to it. He soon arrives to a room that is extremely stuffy and heavy. It is also extremely dense with mushrooms and mycelium. There’s something tangible, but unplaceable, in the air.
Scar steps farther into the small room, looking around it, breathing in the… spores? He stumbles against a wall, everything feeling dizzy suddenly. He slowly falls to the ground, collapsing on the mushroom strewn floor as he loses consciousness.
When Scar returns to consciousness, everything feels clearer and more refreshing. Looking around the room, he notices that most of the mushrooms have stopped glowing, only emitting a faint light now. Despite this, he can see everything in near perfect detail.
As Scar stands up, he notices a humming in the air, a humming under his skin. A connection to everything around him. It’s invigorating, but it’s also lacking. He can only feel throughout this small cave system, Scar really thinks there should be more. That it should be spread even farther. The humming increases, as if agreeing with that idea.
Scar casts another glance around the cave, breathing in that spores deeply. He’s going to need to make some friends to help him out, and maybe even request his previous ones to join him. He begins going down the tunnel to the exit, he has a job to do.
YEESSS YES THIS IS GREAT
Aaah I love how he Just stumbles upon it(falls into a cave after getting lost akajdjd) This is amazing omg
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one word? omg omg can u do ‘children’ pls (IM GOING TO CRY)
I've never seen you as a mother before, Mulder had said once, and it was like a revelation. He'd seen her with the Eves, with Kevin Kryder, even once with her godson because he'd stopped by while she was babysitting. Scully's gentleness is something he's not sure he'll ever learn the end of, but he's all but entranced to see her like that. He doesn't register it as mothering at first, but once he does, he can't forget the thought.
That same conversation in Home, Pennsylvania held more than just that realization, though. They'd brushed up against something, the prospect of their futures — even, tentatively, backhandedly, a future together; one, singular future. Über-Scullys and genetic compatibility were as close as they could get, being who they are, to hinting at something more.
Mulder has been thinking about it since the case in Maryland, with the subliminal messaging via television tapes; he'd thought Scully was dead, and it hit him like yet another flash of sudden insight: he loves her. And somehow, despite the horrors playing out around them in Home, that's the main thing on his mind. She lets him flirt, lets him put his hand on her back and talk about starting a family, and he wants to tell her. He wants to tell her he loves her, that he wants that future and family with her, but all he can say is "I've never seen you as a mother before".
And nearly a year later, seeing her with her very real daughter, seeing her lose her daughter, he wants to tell her again. It's the wrong time, she's barely hanging onto her emotional control now, but he drives her back to his hotel room instead of her brother's house after the small funeral and wants to tell her he loves her. He's seen her with children before, but he's never seen her so bright and hopeful as those few minutes they played on the floor with her daughter. It's exceedingly selfish to be thinking like this right now and he knows it, but when he sees her turn her face away in the passenger seat so he doesn't see her cry (even though he knows she's crying), something in him aches with longing.
Sand in a casket makes him grit his teeth, because no matter what else Emily was, she was a little girl and she was Scully's little girl. He's always had a soft spot for lost little girls — he has a psychology degree, he knows exactly why — and while he wants nothing more than to comfort Scully right now, he also has some kind of belated protective instinct that makes him want to avenge her lost little girl. Scully deserves so much better. Emily deserved a life.
He'd once told Scully he hadn't thought of her as a mother before, implying then that he had a new perspective — and he did; the thought took root in his mind, Scully with a child, children, a future together. It wasn't until he saw her with Emily that he fully conceptualized what that meant; he would have given up anything for Scully and her little girl — his work, his search for his sister, everything he's put his whole heart into for so long. He would have asked Scully to marry him.
Now, he lets her into his hotel room and watches her curl up, fully clothed, on his bed. She doesn't say a word, and he doesn't either. He doubts she wants him very close right now, but he sits at the end of the bed and gently, tentatively reaches out and rests a hand on her ankle. He's here if she wants him to be; however she wants him to be. He can't comprehend her pain at finding and then losing her child, and his own pain is irrelevant. He should have told her before now about her ova, he thinks, because now she's grieving her inability to have children as well as the daughter she did have.
He'd never seen her as a mother before; now he sees it painfully clearly.
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trinimac · 11 months
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so in my research into sermon 32, i’ve run into a bit of a problem. and that problem is called sermon 31.
the third to last paragraph in sermon 31 is a very personal one, and very little cloaked in vivec’s usual metaphoric flair:
“The last time I heard his voice, showing the slightest sign of impatience, I learned to control myself and submit to the will of others. Afterwards, I dared to take on the sacred fire and realized there was no equilibrium with the ET'ADA. They were liars, lost roots, and the most I can do is to be an interpreter into the rational. Even that fails the needs of the people. I sit on the mercy seat and pass judgment, the waking state, and the phase aspect of the innate urge. Only here can I doubt, in this book, written in water, broadened to include evil.“
so i’m wondering if this has anything to do with sermon 32? the next paragraph seems to definitely concern the following sermon, but i’m not sure this one does anything but establish a kind of vulnerability in vivec. ze’s not as confident and well-constructed as ze tends to pretend. this paragraph is written while wearing “the water face,” which means it’s written in truth. it’s also noted in the preceding paragraph that vivec is recalling the pomegranate banquet while ze writes this.
but, of course, unwilling to disclose true vulnerability, vivec throws ink onto this paragraph and writes a new one:
“Find me in the blackened paper, unarmored, in final scenery. Truth is like my husband: instructed to smash, filled with procedure and noise, hammering, weighty, heaviness made schematic, lessons learned only by a mace. Let those that hear me then be buffeted, and let some die in the ash from the striking. Let those that find him find him murdered by illumination, pummeled like a traitorous house, because, if an hour is golden, then immortal I am a secret code. I am the partaker of the Doom Drum, chosen of all those that dwell in the middle world to wear this crown, which reverberates with truth, and I am the mangling messiah.”
this one obviously has to do with sermon 32, the scripture of the mace. but i’m not sure it has anything to do with it thematically, just aesthetically. i think it establishes the aesthetic of the mace as something that “smashes” (i.e. destroys) but also as something that “refines” (”lessons learned only by a mace”). so this might seem to be enough to totally connect it to sermon 32, but sermon 32 is supposed to actually be about the fourth walking way, “mantling.” (i’m still not 100% sure how that sermon relates to mantling, either, but i’m working on understanding it.)
it seems to me that, after showing human vulnerability in the first paragraph i quoted, vivec quickly writes some loosely meaningful nonsense to get hir poetic voice back. i don’t think it means much more than that, but if anyone else disagrees and thinks it connects to sermon 32 more than i suspect, i’d be glad to hear your ideas!
sigh. this sermon 32 is going to require A LOT of explication.
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hologramcowboy · 1 year
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I remember your valid criticism over the Beau and Carla first interaction scene in your Beau Arlen review. Do you think it got any better in their second interaction?
I find it interesting that they picked an Actress that vibes Danneel pre-surgeries and he has zero chemistry with her just like when he is on screen with Danneel. 🤭 I feel like this time it was a bit more personalized but still quite empty and it might just be a complete mismatch between the actors, in the scenes were they weren't together the chemistry was much better. Also, I feel like Jensen may have an inner conflict, not sure if it's a character choice or his own internal inner obstacle but it does seem to clash with the plot and Beau's relationship with his wife, almost like his mind is elsewhere. What about you, Anon? Did you notice anything interesting? Granted, there wasn't much to observe, the exchange between them was pretty flat and both actors didn't personalize their character's memories deeply enough to make them vivid and captivating, they kinda just threw their lines away but I do get that given the writing they didn't have much to go on in the first place, however, as Actors, they could have infused it with much more life. There's a saying: no such thing as a small scene, only a small actor. Meaning, doesn't matter what cards you're dealt, it's up to you as an Actor to make your performance dynamic. I didn't get a sense of a through line in Beau scenes that made me root for him because he wasn't really fighting for anything, very low stakes so if I could coach Jensen, I would advise him to either use his imagination or, alternatively, pick something from his real life (something unresolved) and personalize his interaction with his wife to raise the stakes and fight for something deep and important to his character, something that will make us all root for him even if we might not consciously know what it is. Beau still has lingering feelings for his wife and should be much more conflicted and passionate when it comes to her yet in their scenes together he is disengaged and almost someplace else, like he is thinking of an outside situation(I'm still trying to determine if that's him the actor getting lost in his own thinking or if it's a character choice he made and if so why?). So I would try and sit down with him, ask him a few questions about his character and get him to personalize every beat to support his through line. That's what the best Actors do, they work on their scene beat by beat and ensure everything has meaning and that they are trying to get something out of the other character in dynamic ways, which means the very opposite of boring choices, it means organic, alive moment to moment choices that take your breath away.
He needs to begin by creating chemistry with his wife though so that means personalizing their past appropriately and there are a lot of exercises he can use to achieve this and some even involve using the Alpha State to visualize the character's memories. (This method is called Projections)
Second step is breaking down each scene appropriately to identify it's dynamic and personalizing each line to support what Beau is trying to get from his wife, what he viscerally needs in those moments.
I think if he's really pressed for time, then he can always resort to a Substitution, find a person in his life from whom he wishes to obtain the same scene objective Beau wants from his wife and substitute that person within the scene, the emotinal dynamic I mean and start from there, that way his reactions are real and visceral. (Chubbuck Technique - the one Danneel pretended she studied 🤣 but proved she knows zero about especially given her lackluster performances) So Jensen would need to find a person he still loves that rejected him that he wishes he could win back to recreate the right dynamic for the scenes with Carla and then use a feature on the Actress playing her's face to project said person and emotionally react to he/she. Usually, during quick auditions or quick changes on set actors can adapt easily by just sticking to the scene objective and substitution parts of that technique I mentioned. ;) Just a quick advanced acting hack.
However, ideally, I hope he allows himself the time to do proper script analysis, emotional and chemistry prep work because that kind of work will serve him greatly. So I hope he engages in whatever tools work for him specifically because, at the moment, it really looks like he is just aimlessly going through the motions and it pains me to see this. Sometimes I truly wish I could be on set and give him pointers because I'm certain I could bring out a lot in him.
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toomuchdickfort · 2 years
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*comes up with a cool ass scene for a character that is in no place to have that scene rn and not developed enough to figure out how that scene would happen*
#theyre coming to terms w the idea that unless they want to wait for days or weeks in a plane they hate they dont have any way back to the#people they know and love bc their teleporting goes weird most of the time and they can only have 1 or 2 places they can consistently for#sure get to and they lost one of those roots so they can either sit at the pools for fuck knows how long until someone else shows up bc#they cant work the gateway or they can just try and do the best w what they have which is what theyre doing#and like. theyre apart from anybody they care enough abt to have one of those 'screams hard enough to kick up in power for a little bit'#moments. which like. theyd not be able to do hardly anything anyways bc they keep the magic of like their whole being unstable to be able#to shapeshift but like. reference rey jaret through 'if they were a paragon of their kin they could create wonders. They could cleave open#the earth beneath them and rend the skies asunder and re-thread the very fabric of reality. ...But they're not. And all that happens is a#hum in the air and a little kicked up dust.' because like!! rey did that!! they had a little help but they went to the hole in reality and#slapped some stitches on the main hole in reality!!!#and it carved through their being enough to leave golden scars crawling like cracks up their arm and across their body from the hand they#held outstretched to this hole in reality and it took them weeks to recover#and now they're kind of possessed but shh its probably fine#and also their memories have been yoinked to put into someone made with their blood but thats also. probably fine.#character rambles#elysur#rey jaret#mikail barne#cyrn o’neal#edit: I was able to put it into another one so 👌
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bumbleklee · 3 years
Text
how genshin characters would react to you have suicidal thoughts or self-harm thoughts
masterlist | 1k prompt masterlist | discord server
★ request for @ranbalsa <3 sorry this is so delayed, pls forgive me
★ content warning: this could be extremely triggering for some! there will be mentions of suicidal and self-harm thoughts as well as mentions of self-harm scars (national suicide prevention hotline: 800-273-8255)
★ characters included: beidou, fischl, lisa, jean, ningguang, kaeya, venti, albedo, zhongli, childe and diluc - these can be interpreted as platonic or romantic
beidou
if i had to choose one word to describe beidou, it would be caring
between the way people talk so highly about her in their voice lines to the little kids that like to play pirates and are always talking about how she gives them candy, it’s clear beidou is a very kindhearted person
so if you were having bad thoughts about hurting yourself, beidou would stop what she was doing and get you on her ship in no time
she figured that being out in the middle of the sea gave you no chance to actually hurt yourself + the waves and serenity were sure to calm you
she would spend the entire trip by your side, whispering how important you were to her and everyone back home and how foolish it would be if you took your own life
she would also get down to the root of the issue and try to give you as much advice as possible
beidou would finally sail back home once she decided you were stable again
fischl
i think fischl probably deals with some of these issues herself since her whole personality is based off a story book
but speaking of that, if you go to fischl in a state of panic i think she would sit you down on her bedroom floor and read you a book
her calming voice mixed with the distraction of a fairytale would help your breathing even out and you would ultimately forget about those thoughts you were having
if the story didnt help, then she would just talk to you about anything and everything
she might even invite bennett and razor over and four of you could make a little powow in her living room to make you feel better about yourself
lisa
even hearing you mention hurting yourself would send lisa into a “motherly mode” 
she may not seem like it, but she cared deeply for everyone in mondstadt and never wanted anyone to hurt like that - especially you
like fischl, lisa would probably try distracting you with a book
she would take you into the library and pick out some novels or stories that would take your mind off your previous thoughts
she would sit with you and when you were ready, talk to you about why you were feeling the way you were and what she could do to help
she’s a smart women and if there’s one thing she understands more than anything, its you
jean
she panics
not on purpose, of course. but if jean walks in you harming yourself or hears you say something worrying, she would panic
she was never good in situations like this, afraid she would say the wrong thing and upset you more
but at the end of the day, jean was jean and she always smacked some sense into herself to properly help you through this bump in the road
jean would get down to the root of your issue and work her way out from there
to help you feel better, jean would order a pizza and let you indulge in it with her and after that, she would listen to you vent about what was making you upset
jean is also good at passing off tasks she knew she wouldn’t be able to handle which means if jean thought she seriously couldn’t help you, she would get someone who could
your wellbeing is more important than her pride
ningguang
she wouldn’t understand at first
it would be a lie to say ningguang didn’t live in a fantasy bubble sometimes
she cared about you, yes, but never experienced your pain before and had trouble grasping it right away
but once she did, she was very attentive 
if you wanted medical help, ningguang would hire the best doctors in teyvat to help you through this
if you didn’t, then ningguang would do her very best to console you
she would try to distract you with lavish gifts and expensive dinners and while it was nice being spoiled by her, it didn’t make your problems go away
the last thing ningguang wanted was for you to hurt yourself so like jean, if she needed to bring in a professional to help, she would
kaeya
he would find out about your bad habit by walking in on you self harming
he was freaking out on the inside but stayed calm on the outside, coaxing you away from the blade and helping you clean up your wounds
you would be a nervous wreck for a while and kaeya would hold you in his arms
like jean, he would try and get to the root of the issue and find out why you were feelings these things
he loved you more than anything and he wouldn’t know what he would do if you succeeded in taking your own life one day
on that day onwards, kaeya was determined to make you happy again
he puts your needs before his and does everything in his power to make sure you’re always okay
and if you relapse, kaeya never gets mad. he understands this is a hard cycle to break but he’s determined to help you through it
venti
he might be more upset than you
venti treated you like the archon in the relationship and when you revealed to him you were having suicidal thoughts, his world came crashing down
he blamed himself for a while and drank a lot more at diluc’s tavern but after a stern warning from diluc, venti realized this was doing nothing for either of you
he spent his days with you, walking you around mondstadt and showing you beautiful flowers and cool bugs
his goal was to show you the beauty of the world and convince you that taking your own life would prevent you from experiencing more 
if you self harmed, venti would kiss your scars and make you bracelets made out of cecilia flowers to cover the marks
albedo
he would accidentally be insensitive, at least at first. your relationship was new to him and he was still trying to figure out all of his emotions so when you made a comment about suicide, he took it densely
he didn’t understand why someone would want to kill themselves and told you that exactly
it was only after sucrose snapped at him and explained how you were feeling that albedo screwed his head on right
after apologizing, he would try his best to help you
he would create new potions that might help with your depression or other mental disorders and document your moods and feelings to help him understand what you were going through
it was difficult and sucrose added in a lot of support as well
zhongli
he noticed your self harm scars the minute you two got close but being the respectful man he is, he never pointed them out
he let you come to him and explain them yourself
if you pick up self harming later in your relationship, zhongli is quick to notice and take action
as aggravating as it was, zhongli hid all sharp objects in your apartment and took charge if you needed any of them for something
he made you promise to go to him if you were having thoughts of hurting yourself again
zhongli would make you tea infused with herbs to help worries and bring you relaxation and (in small amounts) happiness
he would take walks with you around liyue if you were having urges and let you cry into his chest in frustration 
this was childe’s idea but if you needed to do something badly, zhongli would take you into an abandoned part of liyue and create fragile, thin rocks for you to smash onto the ground and satisfy that need
childe
having five siblings, he knew how to handle suicidal thoughts
his older sister went through a similar phase like you were now and childe would help you based on how he helped her
childe liked to wrap you in blankets so tightly you couldn’t move, the pressure calming you down and usually causing you to fall asleep
he gives you so, so, so many compliments during this time. he’s so proud of you and so in love with your strength
he wants you to stay with him forever so he’s determined to get these thoughts out of your head 
if you attempt, childe will not leave your side
he’ll stay with you throughout your infirmary visit and even when you’re discharged back home
he’s scared of loosing you
like ningguang, he’ll shower you in gifts to make you feel special 
diluc
like jean, he panics
he thinks it’s his fault somehow and you have to heartbreakingly explain that its not, that your brain is just wired differently 
diluc tries to keep you by his side at all times for a while
he takes you to work with him so you can sit at the bar or he’ll have you walk around with him through the grape vines in the evening
you wake up more often than not to his strong arms around you and as annoying at it is, it’s comforting to know someone loves you this much
he’s afraid of loosing you like he lost his father
diluc was good at shutting down rumors as well. if you had scars, people would talk and diluc would give them one nasty glare and they would shut up
at the end of the day, he just wanted you to be okay
1K notes · View notes
strawberry-nugget · 3 years
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𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙨 𝙄 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙖 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪 | E. Kirishima/ Reader/ K. Bakugo
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𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙩 1
𝙎𝙮𝙣𝙤𝙥𝙨𝙞𝙨: after weeks of Bakugo distancing himself from you and Kirishima you finally get the chance to talk out what happened the other day, one thing leads to another and...
𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, thr*esome, oral (f! and m! receiving), double penetration, fingering, p*ssy slapping, dacryphilia, all characters portrayed are over the age of 20
𝘼/𝙉: I'm so sorry this took me so long. I know this is 6.5k with little to no plot but I hope you enjoy this, hehe, thanks for all of the notes and amazing comments on the last one. I'll be reblogging in a few minutes with the tags in those who asked. Also. This is top Kirishima. Top top top top Kirishima.
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It's been two weeks now that you and Bakugo exist in different timelines.
He's never home, lost in patrol after patrol, leaving a hot mess behind him in his room, belts, gear, his back up costume messily sprawled across his room -you guess he doesn't have enough time to clean everything up. Still, the rest of the apartment always looks inhabitable, save for the little mess you make in the kitchen when you cook; he never cleans what's supposed to be your task.
You feel yourself growing sadder every day. It's something Kirishima notices and informs you he feels as well, rooted deep in how Bakugo is treating the two of you ever since that night. And the worst part is you can't do anything about it. He doesn't return his phone calls nor does he ever pick up, and by now you've accepted that he purposely avoids being in the house with you. It hurts even more knowing that he and Kirishima see each other at work every day; at least he knows Katsuki is doing okay, though as he reports, he rarely ever talks more than patrol and business.
You only wonder why he acts the way he does, thinking you don't deserve to get ghosted over for what happened. He's your roommate and one of your best friends, whatever made him feel like he has the right to ghost you with such each is not going to go by so easily and you're not willing to wait it out anymore either.
Thus, this Thursday night you call in sick for work and emerge yourself in the bathtub after checking the clock. 7.25pm. It's still an hour until Katsuki is off his shift, which means you have plenty of time to do some self care. Shave your legs, scrub your whole body with your coconut scrub- anything to calm down that put of anxiety that's starting to boil in the pit of your stomach.
You fear for the worst. That Katsuki doesn't want to be your friend anymore, and losing him doesn't sit right with you. Not over just catching him masturbating once.
There's a ton of things you want to say, or ask him. The lingering thought of him liking Kirishima or you digs deep enough into your brain and plants itself there, getting comfortable right next to the thought of him being jealous of your relationship. Could this be it? Could he just be lonely? He never talks about meeting anyone or having sex -that must be it, he's lonely, that's all.
Your bath doesn't last for long because you're nervous and the water runs cold before you have the chance to enjoy yourself. Maybe it's time to start turning the heating on in the apartment and you curse yourself because you have to talk this out with Bakugo as well -fuck its hard to not live on your own when you have to make shared decisions with someone. To your stomach's turbulence dismay you can't get out of talking to Katsuki.
"No, I literally won't tell you where she is Bakugo"
Your heart skips a beat at the sound of the door unlocking and closing again, followed by your boyfriend's familiar voice. You don't make a single movement to exit the bathroom yet- you're frozen, opting to rest on top of the toilet cap until you hear Bakugo's reply, your gut falling into a muddy pit of panic.
"I swear to fucking god if you two are trapping me to talk about it"
Typically of him, he shouts, barking and chewing a few sounds of what he's saying. Kirishima knows he's all bark and no bite though, you're eager to figure out how he'll oppose him.
"She wants to talk to you, you can't just ghost her like that when you live with her" There's a long pause next "and you should have told me that you're in fucking love with her"
"What?" Katsuki exclaims
What?
"You think I'm an idiot? Or that I can't comprehend basic human behavior? I know how people who feel the way you do act"
"What are you even saying Kirishima? That I'm jealous?"
You blink feverously, trying to take in what you're listening to unfold in the other room. You know a part of you has been wishing that this scenario wasn't true.
"Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You should have told me you liked her in the beginning. I would have never made a move"
They bicker back and forth for a few minutes; Katsuki accusing and Eijiro defending, then switching back and forth before going silent. It's then that you think you should emerge from the bathroom. It feels wrong to not be part of this conversation when you're the reason for their bickering, but at this point the guilt in your stomach is rotting and polluting your insides.
With a sigh, you turn the doorknob and inhale deeply. You tell yourself you can do this. You have to do this, yet your eyes are filled with hot and salty tears as you approach the living room.
Both of them eye you simultaneously, pursed lips and hands crossed over their chests; the only relieving thing about this is that they're sitting next to each other on the couch, their calves slightly touching. You know they'll make up again, they always will, but you're scared you won't be able to be part of that make up. Not with the information that's been poured onto you.
"Hi" You whisper and despite being sure both of them heard you, they make no effort to open their mouths and talk back "I uhm" You clear your throat "I heard what you were ah saying"
"Course ya did" Katsuki growls "course ya fucking did"
"Baku- I-"
"Save it! I'm gonna-" He snaps and makes a move to get off the couch, though Eijiro has other plans; he slams him back down with just a push of his hand
The same hand that's extended to you, overlapping Katsuki's chest, wordlessly asking you to join them on the couch. Your heart warms up slightly. Kirishima always does his best to make you feel included, it's no surprise he's smiling at you when you take a seat next to the blond.
"You're not going anywhere Bakugo. And babe, you can speak now"
Though you smile nervously with your lips, your first word falls silent, in awe of a lung filling sigh. Then by the time you gather some thoughts together your chest is shivering and the tears that you managed to drown before are now threatening to spill from your eyes again.
Kirishima is watching you religiously, pouting as you throw your head to the opposite direction of his to let out a small sob. He tightens the grip of his hand around yours and barely notices Bakugo batting his eyes to that direction.
"Hey, no, don't cry"
"I just don't want to lose Bakugo because of this" you sob and Kirishima shoots a killer gaze at the blond, biting the inside of his lip.
"You're not losing anyone idiot" Bakugo says, clearing his throat, giving Kirishima a strained look as well
"Babe, don't worry, Bakugo and I will be fine, you and Bakugo will be fine"
You sob again, wiping a stream of tears that's falling from your eyes and Kirishima wastes no time on cupping your cheek after bullying Bakugo to do the same. A nice change, you think, two hands reaching out for your face, you could almost get used to this.
"Yeah, you're not losing me" Bakugo tries to soothe, though by Kirishima's demand he adds to his words "I- uhh, I might want you but this has nothing to do with us not being friends"
"Yeah?" You sniffle, looking up
"Yeah"
It's too soft how you're cuddled into their arms instantly, pulled on top of them to sit on both of their laps, held tightly in both of their embraces. You coo into their arms for a while, content when Kirishima kisses your cheek and sobbing faintly when Bakugo rubs your back in circles.
"Do you want a beer baby?" Kirishima asks, softly patting your back and kissing your nape as he leaves you clinging onto Bakugo. You nod into the crook of Bakugo's neck in reply and Kirishima smiles from the other side of the couch.
The sound of the fridge opening is timelines away from what's entering your mind. Is it wrong that you like that cuddle too much? And is it even more wrong that you want more? Bakugo feels nice when you're curling up onto his lap and Kirishima adds warmth and love into everything he's touching, you almost feel your thighs clench at the idea of where your mind's traveling to.
"What if we had a threesome?"
It's so faint when it comes out of your mouth that you're convinced there shouldn't be any loud reaction to it, though you hear the can of beer that's presumably in Kirishima's hand hit the floor, you feel Katsuki's hand freeze on your back. Both of them wonder if they've heard correctly, but never asking you to repeat it.
"A uhm.. Threesome?" Kirishima asks "you'd like that?"
"Yes"
You try to hide your face deeper into Bakugo's neck, but he doesn't seem to approve of it- he pushes you back softly, with a thick hand on your stomach and another still on your back. You feel your face burning as you're forced to face him
"You'd really want a threesome?" You nod and Bakugo gulps "Right now?"
"Mhm" You gulp too, your nose almost nuzzling against his "if- if you want to"
The way you're swamped with attention is overwhelming. From the way Kirishima jumps to the edge of the couch towards you, to the way Bakugo lifts you up and stands on his feet, urging you to do the same as your feet land one by one on the carpet underneath you.
"Fuck okay uh, are you fine with it Bakugo?" The redhead asks, scratching the back of his neck.
"Yeah, I am."
Kirishima gulps when he sees Bakugo latch onto you, placing his hand on your shoulder and coughing up slightly "Should we set some rules?"
"Yes" Bakugo coughs as well, though you can feel him getting hard to where your thoughts are meeting his "wanna suggest anything?"
"Great uh, maybe no kissing between the two of you, since she's my girlfriend? And Katsuki you're wearing a condom too. Are these fine?"
Both of you gulp and nod. It's natural for Kirishima to ask this. Sharing you out of the blue can't completely sit right with him; it almost flicks a switch on inside your gut, making you gulp again when you feel him hugging you from behind.
"Safeword?" Bakugo asks
"Red" You reply cooing when your back finally hits your boyfriend's chest.
You don't even have enough time to count down seconds before you're pounded and squished between the two of them. It's a miracle that you somehow manage to convince them to move it to the bedroom.
Even if making a small stop at the hall wasn't in your original plan
Kirishima's hands are everlastingly on your waist pulling your back into his chest. He's nibbling on the nape of your neck, his fingers light as feathers as they're peeling your T-shirt off of you. He almost grunts at your exposed back, leaning down just to place a kiss on each of your shoulders before latching onto your ear
"It's fine baby, it's fine if you're embarrassed okay?" He blows into you then takes a bite of your ear lobe to which you shiver as you snap your head to his face. “what? Are you that excited?"
You gulp, nodding with your eyes shutting, an expression on your face that looks almost painful -Bakugo can't help but palm himself, searching Kirishima's carmine eyes with his, waiting for a sign that he should make a move or retreat. Anything that doesn't involve him getting a front row seat to how your chest bounces as Kirishima runs his hands on your torso from behind.
"Fuck, I-" He says, swallowijg his tongue in the process, just when Kirishima's hands change paths, now wiggling underneath your sweatpants.
"Enjoying the show Bakugo?" Kirishima's smiles and fuck- when did he adopt such an attitude? "Come 'ere"
Bakugo does as he's commanded, guided by Kirishima, as he trails your torso with his hands intertwined with his, squeezing your upper hips, trailing your belly button, eyeing you with doe eyes before launching a kiss to your navel. You writhe and wiggle in Kirishima's embrace- the feeling of another man too new, too strange to take in in less than a few moments, but Eijiro's got you, kissing your nape, your cheek, softly playing with your breasts above your bralette. Whispering his praises with his hands across your body.
"Good girl" You're sure he whispers in your ear "I got you" But all you can feel is Katsuki's breath as he's placing open mouthed kisses across your tummy, over the valley of your chest, your cheek.
Kirishima is overly alert by this, jumping in between the little scene, capturing your lips with his, using a hand to push Bakugo into the kiss as well, pulling him in as lips as smeared against lips, your saliva trailing out of your mouth. You instinctively rub your thighs together to relieve some of the burning sensation between your legs
Soon enough, Bakugo is taking off your pants, rhen his shirt, Kirishima's taking his off too, managing not to let you go all while pushing the three of you into the bedroom. There's nothing but a trail of clothing in the hallway that could suggest what's happening inside the room once the door closes shut; three pairs of sweats, three different t-shirts and maybe the white ghost of hot and heavy breathing.
On the bed, it's way more comfortable. Your arching back is finally resting against the pillowy mattress, Kirishima's smile from upside down soothing and forgiving, you almost melt away while he cups your face and bumps his nose to yours, giggling slightly, before glaring at Bakugo. He guides your head into his lap, still holding your cheeks, still rubbing circles onto your soft face, pouting hard before facing your friend.
"You good babe?" He asks you and you nod again, humming a small reply to him "you too Katsuki?"
"Yeah, fuck yeah, I am" He gulps, pumping himself twice.
"You're not getting in without prep by the way"
You writhe in Kirishima's lap, gooey eyes and mouth open wide as he leans to pry your legs open, trailing his middle finger across your clothes slit. Your chest jumps when you hear him chuckle. You know he's struck the gold vein he's searching for, your panties swimming in a puddle, completely damp from getting your neck attacked only a few minutes ago.
Katsuki marvels a finger across your slit as well, avoiding your clit purposely or flicking it occasionally, moaning every time his finger touches the chilly dampness of your underwear.
Kirishima pries your legs open wider, hooking his middle finger under your panties and pulling them over and slightly to the side, flashing the blond with a glimpse of you -you swear you see him gulp. Hard.
"Want a taste?" Kirishima asks, chuckling, as if Bakugo isn't frothing at the mouth at the mention of the action, as if he isn't diving in between your thighs like a starved man.
He almost rips your panties by pulling them to the side. Your hands link through his platinum hair and you almost whine at how soft it feels, or, about the moaning sounds he makes as he's digging his fingers in the plush skin of your thigh, swinging your leg wider. You slide a little further along, laid completely flat on the bed -head still on Kirishima's lap.
Sweetly, Kirishima captures your inner lips with his fingers and circles them around before making you hump on him, his knuckles bumping with Bakugo's nose when he chuckles again. You almost tear up by the over stimulating pressure Kirishima's fingers provide for you, but you decide to hold it in; not sure hitched breath leaves your mouth until Bakugo takes an experimental lick across your slit.
With a thumb presses to your clit he retreats for a second, just to watch as he sinks his middle finger inside of you and -"oh my fucking god Katsuki"- he's back at it again, licking at you religiously. Softly, like Kirishima always does, patiently. Just like you love it.
It has your back arching, chest bouncing for Kirishima's eyes to enjoy. He decides he won't have you hanging, bouncing and thrashing. With two huge palms he cups your breasts, flicking your nipples, massaging you for just enough time to make your heart burn, then he wiggles a finger to the hood of your clit, applying throbbing pressure.
The knot in your stomach is tight, your vision blurry, you're sure what you think is silent moaning is probably full-on screaming, mewling or pleas of pleasure that you can't comprehend.
Kirishima is smiling at you from above, still wiggling his finger on you left and right in Bakugo's business and you can't help it- you yelp, pushing Bakugo's face deeper into you. It feels good- too good, like your legs are nothing but jello, your stomach and thighs feeling like they've transformed into liquid smooth. You mewl in Kirishima's arms, coiling, desperately eyeing him in hopes that he and Katsuki won't stop what they're doing.
"M so close" You slur when Kirishima takes a hand of yours away from Bakugo's hair, softly turning it upside down, until your palm is met with the wetness of his foreskin, the pulsing slit of his that leaks precum into your hand.
He whines -"ohh"- when you wrap your fingers around him, instantly pumping your hand up and down, your grip firm and steady as you twist your wrist with every bob of your hand.
"Suck me off baby" Kirishima softly commands, rubbing an experimental circle with his tip on your lips, smearing some of his precum around your mouth. You gulp at how carelessly he pumps his base, until he pries your lips open.
You take him eagerly into your mouth, feeling your stomach churn and your thighs freezing in place by Bakugos movements; so long as you're steadily sucking Kirishima's cock into your mouth, he scissors his fingers inside of you.
"You like that?" He moans into you, eyeing Kirishima "you twitched- fuck you're twitching"
"Show me how wet she is"
Kirishima commands and Bakugo complies by taking his fingers away from your heat and shining them into Kirishima's face. You whimper but how good it feels when he moans against you, blinking as you watch your boyfriend take your friend's fingers in his mouth, sucking in eagerly, before popping the digits out of his mouth, leaving a trail of saliva fall faintly onto the valley of your breasts
"Your pussy's s'wet baby, you're dripping all over over Katsuki's hands" Kirishima thrusts in your mouth "you taste so good" then turns his attention to Bakugo "tell 'er, how fucking good she tastes"
Bulky fingers rub on your clit once more and Bakugos hand secures your tummy in place while pinning you down; you feel it then, the inevitable end of what has been building up in your stomach for such a long while and you can't help but scream at the feeling of coming undone. Shaking, struggling to take a breath without popping Kirishima out of your mouth.
"Fucking perfect"
Your vision is white, your head is buzzing and your legs are frozen. You can feel Kirishima fucking into your mouth once, twice and ever so slightly, depending in how relaxed your jaw is as he's moaning. You don't choke when he hits your throat, you simply moan onto him, too blinded by the afterglow of your orgasm to even react to what's about to unfold.
"Fuck- take 'em off- Fuuck" Kirishima says, you notice. Bakugo probably does as he's told; you hear shuffling and grunting, the soft pop of his dick to his stomach. You want to see-
Bakugo, hazed and drenched in you, cups your womanhood with his hand, landing his thumb on your clit and you yelp again, thrassing onto the bed, finally popping Kirishima out of your mouth. He tugs and drags his fingers away- he's opening you up, of course, that's it- and you can't help but roam your eyes all over him. Searching for his cock, wanting to see it dive inevitably into you.
It's unfair that Kirishima has a better view than you do, but at least, you hope he enjoys the view. You buck your hips forward when you feel Katsukis thighs grace against your own. His skin is unbelievably cold, making the hair on your legs and tummy raise; a tear rolls down your cheek then the moment the tip of his cock touches your clit.
"We've got- ah- condoms in the first drawer. On your left" Kirishima says cheerfully, bucking his hips away from your face, kneeling just to place a kiss on your forehead- your nose- your lips, finally bumping the tip of his nose to yours when he sucks your inner lip into his mouth
"You liked that baby?" Kirishima breathes "You liked Bakugo eating you out?"
"Mhm" You nod, not wanting to break away from the kiss, unlike Kirishima
You can hear Katsuki cursing, slamming the drawer shut as he fidgets with the condom. Everything seems slow, from the way his thick fingers can't grasp the tiny edges of the wrapper, to him finding out what's the right side to put it on -he grunts, inevitably- stealing giggles from both you and Kirishima
"Ah man, you're struggling, come 'ere let me help"
Bakugo grunts once again, although this time it's not out of frustration. Kirishima playfully pulls him close, places a kiss on his navel and extends his hand underneath Bakugo's, politely asking for the condom -you know his lips are pressed into a goofy smiley line right now just by the way his body moves.
Kirishima lets your cheek rest on his thigh when he moves to grab Katsuki's cock, to roll the condom on him while twisting his fist on him no more than twice -unfair- before playfully slapping the blond's ass, urging him to climb onto the bed again.
It's then that your hips are jerked and raised towards the blond, huge palms on your hips, pulling you towards him. Nervous touches, unspoken apologies for potentially harsh movements, his eyes are flickering into yours and his lips are all pouty, scrunched, his cheeks plump with embarrassment. He doesn't know if you notice, nor does he think he ever will, but it's killing him -that he's only allowed to line himself up with you under this circumstance.
Whether you notice the hurt in his eyes or not, you don't comment on it, nor do you spare him any worried look. He doesn't even know if he wants you to take pity on this state of his.
No.
No, he doesn't.
He only hopes Kirishima won't get mad when he cups your face tenderly, nor when he traps your face with his other hand caging you away from the redhead thigh -it's for better leverage he'll say if he's asked to- but you melt into his touch.
And his chest burns.
It's worse when he finally pushes into you. His heart won't stop beating hard and fast and he's scared he's going to have a fall. No-no- he shouldn't think about it, if he does think about it, he'll definitely have a fall.
"Ooh, ooh, ooh," You murmur, feeling the voice come from the depths of your chest.
That's the only confirmation he needs to ignite his ego and light it on fire. You feel good, you're sucking him in deeper and your cheek is still melting into his palm. It's more than enough; he ignores Kirishima's gaze and whatever it may carry behind it. It's for his own sanity he reminds himself.
"You're doing so good babe,'' Kirishima asks you, cupping your other cheek. He's smiling- no need to worry about him not having a positive reaction to Bakugo caressing you
(The rules that had been presented to him were simple- wear a condom and no kissing)
"You're taking it so well, isn't she Katsuki?"
"Fuck yeah" He grunts, thrusting harder
"So, so well baby, we'll make sure you get to come first okay?" You ogle your eyes at Kirishima, teary and soft by his words, clapping your lips together and pouting, begging him silently for a kiss. Only to feel the void when his soft lips don't come in contact with yours
"Oh no, no kiss for baby. You're so naughty, wanting me to kiss you when you're getting fucked by our friend"
"What?" You whine, popping on to your left elbow "Eiji- i want my kiss"
"None can do" He smiles and Bakugo snaps his hips into you "unless you earn it"
Your stomach is tied in a knot again, gummy walls tightening around Bakugo, back arching. It's almost painful to watch you sprawled like this underneath him, reacting in peak with the rhythm of his hips, begging him to go faster, harder. At one point, he's losing himself in the speed he's fucking you with, feeling like he's about to combust from inside out is not helping either
-He thinks, he'll be spent for days after this-
It's guttural, the way you feel as Bakugo thrusts inside of you, the way you mewl and twitch and feel your eyes roll to the back of your head. You feel full, so much that you mutter it, slurred and incomprehensibly at Kirishima. It's more than enough for him to rub your chin with his thumb and buck his hips on your face again. You take him eagerly, smiling with your lips when he lands on your tongue. You swirl it around, pump him deeper into your mouth, suck on his tip until he moans in sync with you.
"Bakugoo" He hisses, biting his lip as he's eyeing you "don't chase your own satisfaction! Go slower and rub her clit too" He takes Bakugos hand away from your face, tracing it down your body before landing on your heat, pinching your clit softly making you moan "ah so responsive"
For a while he doesn't move his hand away, focused on guiding Bakugo's fingers on you, teaching him how to make you feel good while he's fucking and you're on fire, gut churning and chest tight, ovestimulated by how good it all feels. You can't even take a proper breath as Kirishima humps deeper into your mouth. He groans too loud when his tip hits your cheek.
You know this is too much for him, you know he can't hold back any longer, but you grab onto his shaft and twirl your grin on his base, bobbing it into your cheek and popping it out before swallowing it again.
And while Bakugo's thrusts are becoming desperate, Kirishima bursts into your mouth, holding your hair softly, pulling you closer to you- closer, closer, until your nose hits his navel, biting on his cheeks and squinting his eyes so he won't shut them, drunk on the view of you overflowing with his come. He only grubs your chin, swiping his thumb on the white trail that's spilling from the corner of your lips, trying his best to smirk at you without taking a breath.
"Swallow it sweetheart -ah- that's right, you're so -fuck- perfect for me"
Your lower stomach is protesting, bursting slowly as Bakugo is thrusting faster into you. His speed, him hitting that spot in your gut repeatedly, creating the perfect feeling of numbness, it's all too much and not enough all at once, you want to cry out- you gush and you writhe as your legs hook around Bakugo's waist.
Your boyfriend retreats from his previous position, smiling as ever, petting Bakugo's blonde hair, massaging your breast, kissing your nipple, then attacking your upper chest, trapping supple skin in between his tongue and teeth, dragging Bakugo along with him. It's what ultimately leads Bakugo over the edge, his tip feeling numb, blood rushing all over his body, he thrusts a few more times before he pulls out, spilling his own satisfaction into the condom, feeling his heart race faster than ever before.
"Your doing sooo good" Kirishima says once more, pecking your lips repeatedly. "Wanna ride me? Or are you tired? "
"Fuck no, lay down"
"That's my girl" He smiles "Katsuki, come here"
Kirishima rubs your wetness up and down, grunting when he finds your clit, grazing it with the back of his hand, whispering about how wet you are, to which you respond by hugging your arms around his neck, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. You only pull back when he lets you coo into him by petting your hair softly.
You're instantly met with Bakugo's eyes blazing into yours from above- it's not intimidating, rather, it's lustful, but you still need some time to pull yourself back, despite the eagerness in his eyes. You must have missed the point where he discarded his condom, or just how thick he actually is, because he's standing hard and proud before you, nervously searching for Kirishima's approval.
Your boyfriend's approval comes with gripping on him and easing him close to you. You take him in both of your hands, relying on Kirishima to keep your torso lifted, focusing on twisting your hand around him in the same way you did for Eijiro. Too bad you almost lose grip when He snaps his hips into you.
You can feel Katsuki's dick twitch into your hands as you pull him down lower, getting your tongue out of your mouth to place kitten lips all over his length. Eijiro mimics you, licking the tip when you're not licking the base, letting you take control when he ceases his movements for a bit, to lift both of you a little higher, so you don't have to bend your neck as much. He strokes some sweaty strands of hair away from your face, he kisses your cheek and Bakugo is already thrusting into your mouth feverously.
"Fuck"
"You're so wet baby, you feel like you could take us both" You yelp, wide eyes as you freeze on the spot "want to take us both?"
"I do" You yelp with tears in your eyes "I do I do, I do I do"
"Oh, look at you being so desperate, want to get -ah- wrecked, don't you?"
"I do Eiji- you cry out
"Then ask Katsuki to take you too, ask him to shove his cock into you while I'm fucking you too, like the greedy little thing you are"
At this point, you think poor Bakugo isn't going to make it to the end of this.
"Katsu" You plead, watery eyes staring into desperate carmine ones "Katsu fuck me while Eiji fucking me too-"
"Say please" Kirishima interrupts, pinching your nipple "or I'm not going to let him"
"Please, pleaseplease, please"
"Fuck yeah" Katsuki replies "ill fucking wreck you" The sounds he's making are supposed to be words, though they're far from being clear and understandable, his veins are pulsing into your mouth. He's too excited for this, so excited that you know he'll never make it to the drawer to reach for a new condom. So Kirishima is doing it for him, hooking the little rubber between his fingers as he's opening the drawer.
"Come on baby, pull back" He taps on your shoulder and places a kiss on your collar bone, thrusting deeper into you this time. The reaction is immediate, you're throwing your head back in seconds and Bakugo whines at the sudden departure of your warm mouth.
Kirishima allows you to kiss his thighs, his tip, his navel, to squeeze the small of his back and his ass before letting you wear the condom onto him.
You lose track of Bakugo until you feel wet kisses being planted on your thighs and ass, the back of your knees. You feel his hand being placed on your thigh, the warmth of his palm as he's soothingly rubbing it up and down your skin, to prepare you, raising his thumb to graze at your crotch occasionally. You whine every time he thumbs your clit, or flicks it when it meets with Kirishima's navel.
"You good? I'll start with my fingers" You choke on the sound of his words and nod frantically. If only you could actually watch him when he delves his middle finger in you along with Eijiro's cock. Still you whine loudly, when another finger joins the first one, slowly scissoring inside of you "fuck you're gonna take it so well aren't you? Kirishima's right. You love this"
"Answer him," Kirishima whispers, teeth biting down in your lobe. He grabs your face, trapping your cheeks between his fingers, turning you in Katsuki's direction, pushing your cheeks together. You swallow when you see the blind focused on watching you stretch.
"I love it
But Eijiro isn't satisfied with how you're trying to make your words get past from your lips
"Say it like you mean it doll, or I won't let your friend put it in"
You eye him dangerously, putting your lips even further before muttering a soft 'fine' -your redhead doesn't make a comment on your little attitude, probably because he's gotten what he's wanted from you- and Katsuki hisses, fisting his cock faster.
"I love it so much Katsuh"
"And Eiji- you mean. It's not only him that's here" Kirishima smirks and this time he pulls out of you, flipping your body so that your back is facing him. One hand comes to your wetness, spreading your lips apart, stretching you wide open "Try again" He lets go just for a moment, to slap your clit loosely. Once. Twice. Never ceasing when you whine. Your hips buck up towards Katsuki.
"Look at how nice I am, I even gave you a full view. Am I not?"
"You are Eiji. You're the best, the best. And I love this so much, I'm going to combust"
"Oh you will?" Katsuki interrupts, grunting when Kirishima pulls his dick closer to you, rubbing the head on your clit until Katsuki gets the hint. You let out a guttural groan at the feeling, tears starting to form in the corners of your eyes from being too overstimulated for so long
"Yes baby, I will, just please"
"M going in-" Katsuki announces, earning a nod from Kirishima "If he won't let you come, then we don't listen to him 'kay?"
Kirishima chuckles at the one and bites the top of your ears dragging his tongue to the base of it- a warning- to not try and agree with what Katsuki's offering. And being obedient definitely pays off when you feel your boyfriend's head poke against your entrance.
It feels splitting and painful all at once; the tears in your eyes are pouring, and none of the caresses you're receiving is helping. You need time to adjust and both men provide that for you. Minutes pass spent with soft kisses. Kirishima sucking your neck and Bakugo kissing your breasts, the three of you making out- anything until you feel like you can get used to them.
And when you do, they go slow, each at their own pace, simultaneously hitting spots that you don't know could or should ever be hit at the same time.
"You good?" Both men ask and you have to gulp that frog that sits at the top of your mouth if you want to talk, but you can't. Your throat is too tight, your eyes are too watery
"Babe"
"Better than I thought I'd be actually"
You get lost in the haze of their hips, their thrusts and you can already feel Katsuki collapsing onto you, chasing his own pit of pleasure when it hits you. Your gut coming undone for the last time has your heart leaping and skipping beats; you hook your arm around Katsuki's neck, jumping up and down from how fast both men are thrusting into you and you bring your face to his, cooling your mouths together.
When he feels you clamp down on him -and Kirishima- he pulls out, rolls the condom off and strokes himself slightly. You whine at the sudden departure of him inside of you but you quickly clamp down on just your boyfriend, before feeling him shifting from underneath you, finally pushing down the small of your back. You take Katsuki into your mouth while Kirishima slaps your ass, thrusting fast and hard into you.
There's no sweet talk right now, authority and intimidation hiding away as satisfaction is being chased. Sloppily and not carefully at all. It's evident in how you're sucking Katsuki off. There's no consistency in your rhythm, you're squirming as Kirishima is slowing down before picking up his pace again, running his hands through your hair affectionately. When he comes, he coats your insides in white ropes of pleasure, riding off his orgasm softly, until he feels himself stop twitching.
By the time he pulls out you've made Katsuki come as well, hearing his high pitched grunts as he lets it all out in your mouth. Although this time you're not overwhelmed with the amount; it's his second round nonetheless.
Katsuki's hands don't cease to take this chance, even if they're awkward and shaking he's grabbing your cheeks squishing them just like Kirishima did a while ago and kisses you, poking his tongue in your mouth, moaning at his own taste, pulling your lips under his teeth.
You know your lips will be bruised by this. And you don't care. Because when he pulls back, Kirishima is kissing you as well, pulling you into his arms, caging you into his chest.
You even smile as tiny, peppery kisses are pressed onto your skin.
"You did so well" Kirishima smiles "you too Katsu, you both were amazing"
Katsuki smiles, popping onto the bed as well, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling himself onto you and Kirishima. He nuzzles his nose at the crook of your neck and for the first time in a while he feels warm, content, calm and collected. Or so you think by the kiss that's planted onto your back by him.
It's tender and soft, mimicking Kirishima's but feeling nothing like your boyfriend's kisses at the same time. You collapse further into Kirishima's chest and he kisses the top of your hair and your cheek, mellowy.
"Wanna take a bath?" He suggests under his breath and both you and Katsuki nod, sinking further in the sheets with heavy eyes. Maybe when your feet won't feel like they'll betray you, you'll get up and have a warm bath, sandwiched between Katsuki and Eijiro, smothered in kisses, lathered in lavender soap, maybe you'll make a cup of chamomile for the three of of you and cuddle between them before you go to sleep.
Until then…
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edwardskhakipants · 3 years
Text
Forks, Washington. August 2004.
Esme and Carlisle stood in the middle of their grand living room, waiting for their five vampire children to arrive. Alice arrived first—prompt as usual. She settled herself gracefully onto the tufted sofa Esme had recently acquired, only to be immediately jostled by Emmett who heaved himself onto the cushions. A breath caught in Esme’s throat—she had lost many pieces from her beloved collection by that action—but it looked like this one was still in one piece. For the moment. Jasper took Edward’s normal spot in the only armchair, forcing Edward to wedge himself between Alice and Emmett.
“What?” Rosalie grumbled as she perched on the armrest of the couch beside Emmett, “Are we having another one of those How to Respect the Telepath in Your Life meetings again?”
“No,” Edward answered, fully aware of the intent of this meeting since it hatched in Carlisle's mind two days prior. “But there’s never a bad time to bring that up. Christ, Emmett, if you’re going to have a song stuck in your head for over seventy-two hours, the least you can do is learn the correct lyrics.”
Emmett’s eyebrows knit together, asking his brother a silent question.
“It’s ‘mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido,’” Edward answered.
Emmett’s brow furrowed doubtfully.
“No.” Edward shook his head, answering Emmett’s thoughts. “Why would he eat a beetle?”
Emmett grinned playfully and tilted his head towards Edward.
Edward wasn’t amused. “You know what it means.”
A silly grin plastered on his face, Emmett elbowed Edward in the ribs, silently egging him on.  
Edward’s eyes darted to Carlisle, then Esme, and he shifted in his seat. “Sexual desire,” he muttered.  
Emmett howled with laughter and clapped his hands once, “Wow, Eddie! You’re just going to say that in front of Esme!?” Edward scowled as Emmett’s bouts of laughter echoed through the room.
Esme ran a hand through her youngest’s ginger hair. “Boys,” she warned, and Emmett sucked in his laughter.
“Our meeting today has to do with all of you,” Carlisle began.
“We simply wanted to go over the rules of attending school with you kids before you start your second year at Forks High School,” Esme explained, unfolding and re-folding her hands in front of her. “There are already whispers, and we don’t want those whispers to turn into rumors.”
“I thought the only whispers about us at school were whether or not Edward liked girls,” Rosalie said, earning an eye-roll from Edward.
“No,” Alice chirped,” Some kids think we’re a cult.”
Jasper leaned back heavily in his chair. “We haven’t heard that one since the Seventies.”
“Kids are getting more creative these days.” Emmett nodded appreciatively.
Esme held up one, delicate finger. “Which is why it is best to take preventative action.”
Carlisle took the floor. “We thought a few reminders would be helpful before you started your first day of your second year,” Carlisle said. “We don’t want another incident like the one we had at the end of last year.”
Every head in the room turned towards Emmett.
“What?” Emmett threw up his hands in exasperation, “The water gun fight was the senior prank—I wasn’t the one who brought them to the school. Hell, I wasn’t even the only student who got suspended!”
“That’s true,” Carlisle agreed, “but you were the only student to shout, ‘Sit down, kids! Daddy’s gotta tinkle,’ and shoot the stream of the gun from your crotch.”
Jasper snickered—the sound was immediately silenced by a single raised eyebrow from Esme.
“I still don’t see the problem,” Emmett continued, “That’s not necessarily a vampire thing.”
Edward—who often mistook himself as the third vampire parent rather than the youngest son—sighed, “Yes, but it brings unnecessary attention to the family. Which is the first rule: do not bring attention to yourself.”
Esme ran her fingers through her son’s hair once more, “Yes, darling, you are especially good at keeping to yourself.” Edward’s eyes widened, despite Esme’s gentle touch, already aware of where her point was headed. “So much so, that I have been given the names of several child therapists to help my son through his depression. One was recommended for his exceptional work on spotting and treating the early signs of sociopathic behavior.”
Esme grabbed her son’s chin and forced him to look at her. “You have to talk to other people.”
Knocked off his high horse, Edward flinched back from Esme’s hand. “Friendship with humans never bodes well for us.”
“We’re not asking you to create lifelong friendships with humans,” Carlisle clarified, “We are simply asking you to be likable.”
“A nearly impossible feat for Edward.” Rosalie grinned. The comment went unnoticed, save Edward’s slight flinch. But the quick, little tick was satisfying enough for Rose.
“Look at your father,” Esme gestured towards Carlisle, “At every hospital he works at, he goes out of his way to ensure he is well-liked among his colleagues. He forces down countless lunches and coffees, solely to make sure they’re comfortable around him.”
Carlisle took over. “And your mother, a beloved member of her gardening club and a prized member of the PTA.”
“And neither of us have rumors started about us, and do you know why?”
All five teenagers grumbled the ingrained response. “Humans don’t want to spread rumors about people they like.”
“Exactly.” Esme nodded.
“I try!” Alice whined, “But Edward never lets me talk to any humans.”
“That’s because every, single thing that is about to come out of your mouth is incriminating. You might as well walk around with a neon sign that says, ‘I’m a psychic vampire’.”
Alice scoffed, “Is not!”
“You wanted to tell Nihal Howard not to audition for the musical.”
“And he broke his leg on opening night,” Alice challenged.  
“You were going to tell Christiana Ward that pink was not her color.”
“And she lost prom queen to Ashley Kirby.”
Jasper put a comforting hand on his wife’s knee. “Maybe try not to meddle so much, darlin’. Natural relationships, first.”
“They would have been!” Alice wailed, “I would have played it cool and casual and made friends and you all would have seen it! But everyone’s hurt and I have no friends at all because Edward won’t let me try!”
Edward rolled his eyes.
Carlisle suppressed a heavy sigh. “You have to let your sister try, Edward.”
Edward’s mouth fell open. “You cannot seriously be siding with her on this!”
But Carlisle stood his ground. He and Edward stared at one another for a few seconds, engaged in a silent conversation. In the end, Carlisle tilted his chin and Edward slumped back. Victorious, Alice used both pointer fingers to jab Edward in the side several dozen times at vampire speed.
Rosalie flipped her golden locks over her shoulder. “I don’t know how you all struggle so much. I have no issues with becoming well-liked at school while remaining inconspicuous.”
“Oh yeah, you’re so inconspicuous,” Edward grumbled, now extra-petty that he had been called out two times in one meeting. “You dress like you're on your way to brunch at your second husband’s country club in Beverly Hills and you make out with your foster brother. The perfect picture of discretion in Forks High School.”
“At least I don’t dress like a sad, old man.” Rosalie grimaced, disappointed in her comeback. The light, humorous insults that were required in family situations were Emmett’s forte; Rosalie’s insults were meant to emotionally cripple a person.
Edward sat up in his seat on the couch and turned to face Rosalie. “I think you missed the main takeaway in that you make out with your foster brother.” Edward turned back. “I can read your minds, and I still don’t understand what made either of you think it was okay to bring your relationship to school?!”
Emmett smiled, unperturbed. “It’s hot.”
“It’s disturbing,” Edward disagreed.
Esme frowned, “You kids don’t really do that, do you?”
“Would it help if Jasper and I became an official couple too?” Alice suggested.     Jasper perked up at the idea of being able to hold hands with Alice in public again.
“No!” Edward yelled at the same time Emmett and Rosalie muttered their acquiesce.
“It wouldn’t seem as weird if there were two couples,” Emmett agreed.
Edward dug his fingers through his hair. “Oh my god!”
“...maybe not, kids,” Esme intervened, but was ultimately ignored.
“So should we come out today like it happened over the summer, or make a little show out of it?” Alice asked Rosalie.
Rosalie waved a hand in the air. “Oh, it’s way more fun if you play up the theatrics.”
“A little more realistic, too,” Emmett agreed.
Alice looked to Jasper for his opinion. “It might be better if we were discreet about it,” she said. “Like we knew it was wrong, but we wouldn’t let anything stand in the way of our love.”
Jasper scooted forward to the edge of his seat. “Or we could let it be quiet and drawn out. Let others see our mutual pining, and root for us to be together.”
Gazing deep into the golden eyes of her soulmate, Alice sighed, “I love that.”
“If people wanted us to get together, it would normalize Emmett and Rosalie’s relationship.”
“Or Rosalie and Emmett could stop,” Edward suggested, bitterly. “That would be normal, too.”
“Oh, Edward,” Alice patted his shoulder, “You’ll find love someday, too.”
“That is not at all what bothers me about the situation.”
Carlisle made the decision for everyone. “Rosalie and Emmett, break up at school. Alice and Jasper, remain friends and siblings.”
Disappointment filtered into the room through Jasper.  
“I heard that,” Edward grumbled at someone’s thoughts.
“You were supposed to,” Rosalie shot back.
“We are also initiating a new rule,” Esme brought the room back to the conversation at hand, “No more correcting your teachers.”
A chorus of complaints rang from the couch.
Esme clicked her tongue, “I’m tired of defending you all from entirely preventable issues. I have emails from curious teachers wondering why my foster daughter is taking French 101, when she already appears to be fluent.” Esme looked at Rosalie, who immediately tucked her bottom lip between her teeth. “Or why my son, at the tender age of sixteen, could not only deadlift three hundred pounds in his first weightlifting class, but also give his coach tips on improving his posture.”
Emmett glanced over at Edward before he realized Esme was, in fact, addressing him. “What!?”
Jasper snorted. The sound was a mistake, for it brought Esme’s wrath onto him. “And not to mention the emails from not one, not two, but three teachers warning me that my foster son has an intimate understanding of the mechanics of a point fifty-eight caliber rifle-musket.” Esme held out her hands, almost pleadingly, “How does that subject keep coming up, Jasper?”
A noncommittal grunt was the only answer Jasper had for that question.
“No more,” she commanded. “You can get good grades but keep your extra knowledge on any subject to yourself. Whatever your teacher teaches is all you know. Understand?”
“But what if we—” Edward started.
“Understand?” Esme repeated.
The five teenage vampires understood, even if they didn’t want to. 
“I believe that all five of you will graduate from Forks High School!” Esme cheered.
The kids stared back, unable to muster the zeal Esme had over the prospect.
“Meeting adjourned!” Carlisle announced, and faster than fast vampire speed, the kids bolted from their seats. 
Esme was able to get in a few more reminders as her children flitted around the house and filed out to the silver Volvo.  “Remember to buy lunch with cash and not your credit cards. Emmett, please do not joke about being mauled by a bear. Do not address your teachers by their first names—I don’t care if you’re older than they are, Edward. Alice, please wear something a bit more causal, pet.”
When the house was finally empty, Carlisle pulled Esme backwards into his chest and began massaging her temples. The gesture wasn’t needed, but any touch from her husband was always welcome.
“Do you think they’ll listen?” she asked her husband.
“Not a chance.”
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jisungsmochi · 3 years
Text
favorite crime - na jaemin
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favorite crime - na jaemin 
this is the second installment for my SOUR series! you can read jeno’s one here! 
a little bad boy!jaemin x troubled (?) but still a ‘goodie goodie’ reader // strangers to friends to partner in crime to strangers again :/ 
word count: 7.2k 
summary: “It's bittersweet to think about the damage that we'd do
'Cause I was goin' down, but I was doin' it with you” 
who would have ever thought that, jaemin, the quiet boy you met in detention, would become your first love? getting involved with his shenanigans was probably the worst thing you could have done in your life. you were lucky enough to love someone like him, someone who excited you, scared you, and most of all, loved you back. but what happens when his actions suddenly have consequences? 
a/n: this summary sucks but i liked writing this alot,, explains why it took me so long to write it oops. 
tagging the bestie: @skrtbabe
//
Know that I loved you so bad
I let you treat me like that
I was your willing accomplice, honey
//
as you walked into the near-empty classroom, you made a beeline for the closest seat to the window. if you were going to be stuck in detention for two hours, you might as well have a nice view. you let out a short sigh to yourself, one hour and fifty eight minutes to go. the supervising teacher was lazily marking her class’ essays, completely choosing to ignore the entrance of na jaemin. he gave her a subtle scoff before stumbling past the desk, making his way to sit behind you. you heard him roughly place his bag onto the surface of his desk. you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to look back and see what he was up to. jaemin was always a mystery to you, and to everyone else in the school. despite keeping himself away from the majority, people had quite a lot to say about the boy. you heard rumours that he got stabbed (which you didn’t believe at all) but your classmate, haechan, insists he had video evidence. if anything, you don’t think you had ever spoken to jaemin in your entire life, but that was all about to change.
thirty minutes into detention and you were beyond bored. everybody was either catching up on school work or trying their best to not be caught on their phones. you opted to staring out the window, eyes following the movements of a particular butterfly. eventually, the butterfly decided it was time to leave your line of sight, causing you to let out a short huff. you heard a soft chuckle, belonging to the previously silent boy behind you. you slowly turned to face him, his eyes immediately latching to meet yours. he had his chin perched on top of his right palm, a cunning grin on his face. you gave him a glare,
“what are you laughing at?” you faintly whisper to him. this caught him off guard, he didn’t expect you to sound so stern.
“an explosion is about to happen” you grew to be more confused, what is he talking about?
“wha-“
“i’ll be right back! s-stay where you are!” your teacher suddenly blurts out, rushing out of her room as fast as she could. the rest of the students all looked over at eachother, some even opting to leave detention entirely.
you turned back to the snickering boy, who clearly had something to do with it.
“what the hell did you do?”
“put laxatives in her coffee” your jaw dropped, how the hell did he manage to do that?
“w-what’s wrong with you?”
“what’s wrong with you? learn to live a little” he suddenly stood up, slinging his bag across his body. his eyes still stayed on you, silently asking for you to follow him. this was one hell of a first impression. you weren’t sure what took over you in that moment, but you found yourself trailing behind na jaemin like a lost puppy as he led you both out of the school gates. he didn’t speak much to you, aimlessly walking to wherever the hell he needed to be.
“so what did you get into detention for?” he suddenly asked you, causing you to stiffen. you weren’t a stranger to getting into trouble, your short temper often being the root of your issues. but you weren’t exactly the most comfortable talking to new people.
“ah you’re a bit shy? i’ll start then, i stole lee haechan’s clothes after gym practice” he smirked to himself, feeling some sense of pride.
“that was you? he was running around school butt naked because of you” you couldn’t help but chuckle at the memory of seeing two full ass cheeks after your history class.
“that’s what he gets for claiming that he has proof i got stabbed? which is ridiculous by the way” jaemin shakes his head before coming to a complete stop. you slightly bump into his right shoulder, quickly stabilising yourself before looking at the quiet cafe infront of you.
“hungry?” you nodded in response, following him into the cafe. he seemed to have known some of the workers, earning you a free croissant and hot chocolate.
“so, i told you why i got into detention, now it’s your turn” he chimed, clearly entertained by having you as company.
“i punched kim yuna in the face” you slightly cringed at your own words. you weren’t the one to be physical in your confrontations, but this girl really struck a nerve.
“sheesh, i saw her earlier, you gave her nose a good bruising, i must say” he couldn’t help but find the entire thing entertaining. this was so odd to you, every person that had witnessed it, thought you went crazy. but here jaemin was, laughing at the situation.
“you think this is funny?” you asked curiously, rather than in a judgemental manner.
“well yeah, i don’t know why you did it, but she probably deserved it” he shrugged, taking a bite of his own pastry. you felt your shoulders begin to relax, infact your entire demeanour had changed. jaemin was the only person that didn’t push you to admit your faults and apologise. he didn’t need to know the whole story, he just took your words for what they were.
the next hour consisted of you and jaemin, sharing stories on some of the mischievous things you had gotten up to in the past. from small things like setting off stink bombs during an exam, to running from the mall cops after stealing a pair of pants from a store. jaemin liked your reactions to his stories, at first your face would be full of shock, then turn into some sort of enlightenment. he found it quite endearing to watch. he wasn’t too bad on the eyes either.
“need me to walk you home?”
“i don’t need you to do anything for me” jaemin just smirked at your response,
“but i wouldn’t mind if you did”
“ah i see how it’s going to be”
“what do you mean?”
“our relationship, it’s going to be very push and pull” what on earth was he on about?
“you got that from just spending a few hours with me?” jaemin nodded, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets.
“i think we’ll be spending a lot of time together” was all he said back. if you had told yourself earlier that day, that you’d become na jaemin’s partner in crime, you’d punch yourself in the face. but this was only the beginning.
//
from that day onwards, you would purposely seek out jaemin’s presence. whether it be you walking to the most isolated parts of school, or simply trying to get into detention in the case he was there again. as a result of the laxative prank, jaemin had earned a two week long suspension. you had caught wind of this information from the school’s chatterbox, haechan. you’d think after being humiliated by jaemin, he’d keep his name out of his mouth.
you decided to visit the same cafe you accompanied jaemin to, incase he was hanging out there. you weren’t sure why you wanted to be around him so much. if anything, you were more at risk of getting another detention, or becoming a social outcast. but you were going to take those chances.
as you entered the cafe, your eyes scanned near and far for any sight of the black haired boy. you were about to give up, when you heard a voice,
“stalking me now?” you immediately froze, too nervous to turn back. you felt jaemin’s hand on your shoulder, slowly turning your around to face him.
“i-i no it’s not what it looks like-“
“it’s fine, you must have missed me, no?” he let a cocky grin land on his face. you just rolled your eyes, ready to walk right back out that door.
“let’s get up to some trouble today” he gripped your wrist gently, dragging you out of the cafe. he didn’t let go of you, once again, you were aimlessly following him. why did you let him do this to you?
jaemin wasn’t too much of a talker, he tended to try and speak with his eyes. you found it interesting, the way he expected you to know exactly what was on his mind. he eventually stopped walking after reaching an abandoned building. you were beginning to feel slightly anxious, noticing that the sun was slowly setting and the breeze was getting cooler. jaemin plopped his carry bag on the concrete floor, you heard clinking sounds erupt from the bag. he moved to pull out a few spray cans.
“ever graffitied?” you shook your head,
“not spray painting, but i’ve drawn some not so pleasant pictures in the bathroom stalls” you shrug as he handed you a can of bright yellow spray paint. he slightly chuckled at your anecdote, which made you look down at the ground.
“well you won’t get in trouble for messing up this place”
“what is this place anyway?” you start to shake the can, watching as jaemin started spraying onto the blank wall.
“somewhere i come when i don’t feel like going home” you weren’t sure if you wanted to press him to elaborate, so you just nodded, beginning to spray a random design of your own.
jaemin found hanging around you quite amusing. you were always up for anything he wanted to do. you seemed so cheerful about the simplest things, and never pushed him to explain the questionable things about himself. you were a lot different than the people he would usually surround himself with. but like many things in na jaemin’s life, they often went sour very quickly.
//
And I watched as you fled the scene
Doe-eyed as you buried me
One heart broke, four hands bloody
//
jaemin had asked you to accompany him to the abandoned building one night. you were half asleep and freezing to death as you approached his car. it was quite beat up, making you worried,
“is this thing even safe to be driving?” you groan as you wrap yourself in your large puffer jacket. jaemin had previously insisted you bring a sleeping bag and pillow. you chose not to question it, too tired to argue back with him.
“don’t disrespect my sweet ride! be grateful i didn’t make you walk in the cold” he scoffed before starting the engine. the car ride was fairly quiet, you were drifting in and out of sleep, in which jaemin noticed. he thought you looked so peaceful, so he tried his best not to make any sharp turns or run over many speed bumps. in a matter of time, he parked the car, gently wiggling your shoulder. you woke up instantly, feeling his cold hand on your cheek. you furrowed your eyebrows before following him out of the car. he led you to the same wall you both had graffitied on before, but this time, it seemed to have become a complete picture.
“i wanted to show you this! isn’t it cool?” he gleamed, pulling you to his side, slightly rubbing your shoulder to warm you up. you quickly ignored his touch, focusing back on the wall. it was a mirage of different doodles and words that must have meant something to jaemin.
“this is amazing, you did this all by yourself?”
“yeah, i really wanted to see your reaction”
“what does it all mean?”
“it’s kind of a representation of what goes on in my mind? i’m not the best with expressing my feelings with words, so i decided to let it out on this wall” jaemin spoke with such ease, his voice filling your ears with warmth. he pulled you closer to him when he saw you shiver,
“care to share?” you slightly joked. jaemin never got too deep with you, so you assumed he would brush the comment off. but he just stares back at you, his eyes piercing into your own. you held your breath as he leaned in closer to you.
“sure thing” he slowly leads you back to the car, turning on the heater as you both wrapped yourselves in sleeping bags. you were huddled up in the back seat, your head leaning on his shoulder as he played with his fingers.
“i never had an outlet for my imagination. my parents weren’t the most warm or loving people in the world. i barely remember anything from my childhood, except for the unpleasant memories. when i started hanging out with some of the older kids, they showed me the ropes of their crew. they taught me how to graffiti, how to carve things with a pocket knife, you know, basic seventh grade stuff” he let out a soft chuckle, but you didn’t laugh. instead you placed your hand over his, feeling the coldness shoot through your body.
“i-i don’t like showing how i feel. because i think it makes me weak, or pitiful. that’s a bad way of thinking, but i can’t help it. so i let out my frustrations here, by either spray painting or smashing random things. it’s nice to get it all out” he stops speaking, his posture suddenly stiffening. you lifted your head from his shoulder, forcing him to look over at you.
“i’m here to listen to you. you don’t have to result to destroying things in order to reveal your feelings. you can just talk to me next time, okay?” you assured him, tightening your grip on his hand. jaemin just nodded, his eyes faltering from yours. why were you so considerate towards him?
“wanna know why i punched yuna in the face?” you saw jaemin crack a smile, nodding frantically.
“she said some things about my family, how they only took me in because they felt sorry for me. see, i’m actually a foster kid, my real parents weren’t in the ‘right state of mind’ to take care of me. well, in the eyes of the law atleast” jaemin didn’t know how to respond, opting to pulling your head back into his shoulder.
“i know she was just trying to rile me up, my foster parents aren’t terrible. but hearing those words just struck a nerve. how can people be so judgmental?”
“that’s just life, love. everyone will always have their own opinions, but it’s up to you, on how to respond. or you can simply choose to ignore them, it’s always worked for me” jaemin started tracing small patterns on the back of your hand, feeling his eyes become drowsy.
“but i don’t want to always ignore my problems. i want to be able to face them, how else will i grow as a person?” you sighed,
“we grow each and every day, most of the time we don’t notice. you’re doing better than you think. sure, you’ll grow up soon enough, you’ll develop your own identity, but for now, enjoy the moment. don’t care too much about what others think, this is your life to lead” jaemin looked down at you, feeling a warm sensation reach his heart.
“for someone who doesn’t like speaking his mind, you sure give some great advice. promise we’ll be there for eachother?” you pull out your pinky finger from his grip, watching as he blinks for a few seconds. you sensed some hesitation, but blamed it on him being tired. eventually, jaemin linked his pink with yours, sealing it with a gentle press of his lips. you couldn’t hide how flustered you had gotten, burying your head in his chest as he started stroking your hair.
“thankyou for being with me tonight” he mumbled as he felt himself fall asleep,
“anytime”
//
sometimes jaemin would leave you hanging for days on end. at first you would get concerned, mainly for his own safety. you were never sure what he got up to in his spare time, and to be honest, you didn’t want to know. but after a certain amount of days, he would pop back into your life that nothing happened, as if no time had passed. today was one of those days. he was sitting on your bedroom floor, flicking through your history notes. you couldn’t pry your eyes away from him, he looked so peaceful.
“you’re so much smarter than me” he huffs, scratching his head as he closed your notebook.
“no way, i’m pretty average. you’re more street smart than i am” jaemin perks up at your words,
“i guess i am huh” he smirks to himself, making you slightly smile.
“i can help you study if you want, you need a pass, right?” you scooted over to him, sitting so that your shoulders brushed against eachother.
“well yes, technically. but passing doesn’t secure i’ll get into college. not that i can even go” he shrugs, eyes focused on his rings, beginning to fiddle with them.
“what do you mean?”
“i don’t have the grades, my parents barely have any money saved for my college fund. i don’t have a job, you see the issue here?” you sensed him stiffen up next to you, this topic clearly striking a nerve within him. you placed a hand on his shoulder, gently squeezing it,
“you know college isn’t for everyone. i’m sure you will be able to live a good life” jaemin knew you were trying your best to cheer him up. but these were constant thoughts and struggles he had been dealing with for what seemed like a lifetime. he knew you would never fully understand, and he couldn’t be mad at you for that.
“y-yeah, i’ll be fine” he sighs, linking is fingers with yours. you worried about jaemin so much, it slowly began to take over your mind. you caught yourself thinking about him more often, how you wanted to be there for him during his dark times. but jaemin always shoved off the idea of getting too deep with his emotions. sure, he trusted you with most things, but there was always a thought in the back of his mind. you were way too good for him.
//
“what is this?” you smiled brightly at the boy standing across from you. he was leant up against your locker, gift bag in his hands, shoving it towards you.
“a token of my appreciation for our growing friendship” you chose to ignore the last word, your feelings towards jaemin still being undecided.
you slowly open the bag, your eyes landing on a small box. you furrowed your eyebrows, before opening it.
“t-this is beautiful, jaemin. how did you afford this?” you gasped, pulling out the shiny necklace from the delicate box. it was a silver chain, that sparkled under the light at just the right angle. there was a small pendent latched onto it, a butterfly.
“don’t worry about that, do you like it?” he grinned at you, taking in your ecstatic reaction,
“of course! i cant thank you enough!”
you pull him into a warm hug, arms tightening around his torso. jaemin chuckled softly, bringing his arms to wrap around your frame, slowly swaying you side to side.
“being there for me is enough, i promise”
//
The things I did
Just so I could call you mine
The things you did
Well, I hope I was your favorite crime
//
the following few days, jaemin went MIA again. you were beginning to become annoyed by his lack of communication. you wanted to believe he was gone for good reason, but something in your gut sensed something worse was happening. that’s when you decided to go to the abandoned building, remembering he often went there when he wanted to be alone. not having a car of your own caused many issues in your life. like right now, you were huffing and puffing once you hopped off your bicycle. you quickly set it aside, making your way to the building. before you turned to the main corridor that you met jaemin in many times before, you heard hushed voices, one belonging to the boy in question.
“we need this deal done asap. no excuses” a deep voice echoes through the building. you couldn’t get a good look at them without being caught, so you remained hidden behind a huge slab of concrete.
“b-but what if they think i’m scamming them because i’m new?” jaemin squeaked. you had never heard him so worried before.
“well you better think of some way to get them to buy, we can’t risk anymore losses. take this as initiation into the big boys club” what the hell was going on?
soon enough, the small group of men had left the building, walking past the concrete slab you were hiding behind. you let out a sigh of relief before rushing to jaemin. his eyes widened at the sight of you, part of him wanting to yell at you for being so stupid.
“what are you doing here?!” he was mad.
“i could ask you the same thing” you scoffed. jaemin suddenly became quiet, eyes avoiding yours.
“what’s going on? and i want the truth. the whole truth” he just sighed, dragging you back to his car. you folded your arms, in disbelief from what you had heard prior.
“i-i’m helping them with some deals okay? it’s just a side hustle to get some cash, i want to get out of this town. this is the only way”
“what are you dealing? drugs?” you gasped, watching as jaemin snapped his neck to face you.
“yes, it’s not as bad as you think-“
“not as bad? they’re literally part of a gang. do you know what happens to people who don’t seal these deals?” you couldn’t believe what you were hearing.
“i know the risks. but i’m desperate. i just need enough to buy an apartment in another city and finally start my life” jaemin doesn’t know why he’s bothering trying to explain this to you. he brushed his fingers through his hair roughly, letting out a groan as he did so.
“when i said there are ways for you to live a good life, i didn’t mean deal drugs. i meant get an apprenticeship or something! literally anything but this”
“there’s nothing you can do to change my mind. i already swore i’d do this deal. i need the money. you wouldn’t understand” jaemin struck back, feeling attacked by your words.
“what the hell is that supposed to mean? i-i can’t do this. come back to me when you’ve come to your senses. this is stupid and you know it” you rush out of his car, causing jaemin to trail behind you as you stumbled to find your bike.
“come with me” you stopped in your tracks.
“pardon?”
“come with me to the deal. i-i don’t want to go alone” he says barely above a whisper,
“you’re crazy if you think i’ll follow you like a lost pup-“ jaemin pressed his lips on yours, hands stuck to your waist, gently rubbing your sides as he deepened the kiss. your words became jumbled as he continued to kiss you. as much as you wanted to argue back with him, feeling his lips on yours was only something you had experienced in your dreams.
“please” he whispered, pulling away from you momentarily.
“o-okay” you whispered back, hands now on his shoulders. jaemin smirked with pride before pulling you in once again. he led you back to his car, dragging you into the backseat. he began trailing kisses down your neck, erupting a pleased sigh from you. and just like that, you were wrapped around his silly little finger.
//
you were now seated in the passenger seat of jaemin’s busted ass car. your nerves were off the charts, and so were his. you had never seen him so anxious before, he was breathing in quick successions and couldn’t stop shaking.
“just get it over and done with...okay? get in and get out” you try your best to ease his nerves but how much could you really say? you were encouraging him to commit to a drug deal, this was not how you expected your friday night to go.
jaemin just nodded, clutching onto something in his jacket pocket. he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, gently stroking your hair as he did so.
“thankyou for coming with me” he mumbled. you just nodded, trying to ignore your intense gut feeling that something was going to go wrong. he led you by your waist into the noisy bar. you kept your head down, allowing jaemin to gain sight of the clients. he didn’t let you approach the group of men, so you tried to distract yourself with a random fruity cocktail from the bar. it wasn’t enough to push aside your worries.
after what seemed like hours, you caught sight of jaemin, who seemed like he was in a rush. he quickly scooped you away from your seat, swiftly leading you out of the bar. before you could even open your mouth, he interjects,
“no time for questions, get in the car now” he harshly shoved you into the passenger seat. now you were more worried than before.
“what the fuck is going on?!” jaemin didn’t answer you, starting the engine of the car. before you could press him any further, the same group of men rushed out of the bar, eyes scanning for the boy next to you. this wasn’t good.
“may or may not have given them the wrong amount...nothing a little hide and seek can’t fix!” jaemin tried to laugh it off, but you knew he was equally as scared. his dingy car wouldn’t start, adding to the panic in the atmosphere. the group of men were already in their own vehicle, approaching jaemin’s car rather quickly.
“fuck fuck fuck” he began shouting, slamming his foot on the accelerator as the car hurled forward. in a matter of time, he was speeding down the street. he probably ran a couple red lights and a few stop signs, but he wasn’t fazed. you on the other hand, were about to throw up. jaemin kept taking sharp turns to throw off the car chasing you, he barely looked back. you were terrified in this moment. anything could go wrong, one wrong turn, and it could all be over. soon enough, he stopped right outside the all too familiar abandoned building. he was out of breath, the adrenaline still present in his system. you were completely frozen, still in shock at what had occurred.
“wasn’t that riveting?” he smirked. he fucking smirked?
“are you kidding me? that was fucking insane. d-don’t do this again. i don’t want any part of this anymore” you began tearing up, feeling your heart pump out of your chest. jaemin’s face dropped as he tried to hold your hand, in which you pulled away immediately.
“t-take me home. please.” he didn’t say anything back to you. he respected your wishes and took you home safely. you didn’t even want to think about the punishment he would receive from the gang for messing up the deal. the only thought of your mind was your own safety. jaemin risked your safety this time around. you would have done anything for him, but in this moment, you were beginning to regret it. na jaemin was trouble. and you needed to stay away from trouble.
//
staying away from na jaemin was harder than you thought. subtle glances from across the classroom or school courtyard wasn’t doing you any good. so you sought refuge in the library. somehow he managed to find you there too.
“y/n, please, talk to me” you continued to read the novel you weren’t interested in, trying your best to remain angry. he sat across from you, pulling down the book from your face, eyes begging to meet yours.
“there’s nothing left to say” he just sighs, never seeing you be so stubborn.
“i know what i did was wrong, i shouldn’t have put you in that posit-“
“can we please not discuss this here? where anyone can hear us?” you quickly interrupt him, pulling him to the school parking lot. out of habit, jaemin led you to his car, opening the passenger side door for you. you got chills as you sat in the seat once again, the memories flooding back.
“i-i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have brought you into it. i just didn’t want to be alone...you’re the only person who doesn’t make me feel alone.” jaemin could barely look at you, too embarrassed of being vulnerable.
“you know how i’m against what you’re doing. and i know i can’t change your mind. i just can’t keep worrying about your safety. it hurts me knowing that you could get hurt one day” you began sniffling, which made jaemin’s heart ache. he pulled your face to meet his own, staring at your soft features. he slowly guided his fingers to wipe away your tears.
“don’t worry too much about me, love. i’ll be just fine” he pressed a soft kiss to your lips, and just like that, you were dragged right back into his arms.
“be careful” you whispered against his lips,
“always”
//
You used me as an alibi
I crossed my heart as you crossed the line
And I defended you to all my friends
//
jaemin wasn’t careful. not in the slightest. he showed up at your window, hands clutching to his lower torso area as he stumbled into your room. you hushed him to be as quiet as he could but you immediately knew something was wrong. he practically fell to his knees, soft whimpers and sighs leaving his mouth. you quickly moved to turn on your lights, taking a better look at the boy in pain. your eyes travelled along his face, covered in scratches and bruises.
“you good with playing medic tonight?” he joked, trying to relieve the tension. but you were not having any of it. you pulled him into your bed, allowing him to lay on his back. he had an array of cuts over his body, including a large gash on his lower lip. you swiftly rushed to the bathroom, grabbing your not so impressive first aid kit, but it would have to do for now. you tried your best to disinfect what you cold, until you reached his torso. you saw there were specks of blood leaking onto his t shirt, which made you more worried than you were initially. jaemin just sighed, lifting up his shirt slowly. your eyes were glued on the painful wound plastered on the right side of his body.
“d-did someone stab you?!” you felt tears prickle the side of your eyes. how could he be so stupid?
“n-no, its just a cut, it’s not even that deep” he tried to play it off, but the moment you pressed the cleansing wipe onto the wound, he winced.
“stop playing the tough guy. i hate when you play tough guy” you groan, trying your best to tend to his wound. jaemin watched as your expression changed from one of concern, to annoyance.
“hey, don’t be mad at me, okay?” he brought his hand to hover over your thigh, gently stroking his fingers on the surface.
“i’m sorry” he whispered, trying his best to sit up, but you immediately pushed him back down. you moved to lay next to him, allowing yourself to finally look him in the eyes.
“i can’t always be here to take care of you like this, jaemin. as much as i want to, there are going to be times where i just can’t. you have to understand that”
“of course, i didn’t expect you to be my personal nurse or anything. i just don’t want you to leave” his words sank deeply into your thoughts.
“i-i won’t leave”
“thankyou. i promise i will take you out and we will have fun. like old times. we can go on a road trip, or even that stupid homecoming dance you keep talking about. i’ll do anything to make it up to you because i ca-“ he immediately stopped himself, clutching his side.
“just get some rest, we can continue this discussion another day. goodnight jaem” you just sighed, turning on your back to face him. jaemin didn’t know why he couldn’t finish his sentence. he does care about you. more than anyone else in the world. but why couldn’t he just say it?
you on the other hand, were too busy imagining your future with jaemin. would he be there as your partner in crime for life? or was he just someone passing by to teach you a lesson? you weren’t too sure you wanted to find out.
//
“y/n, principal lee wants to see you in his office” your economics teacher informed you during class, eyes of classmates following you as you left the room. you swore you hadn’t done anything remotely mischievous lately, besides snatching a cheat sheet for the upcoming final.
“ah yes y/n, please take a seat” principal lee invited you into his office. you tried your best to stay focused on the stubby man in front of you but you couldn’t ignore the two police officers standing to the side.
“you wanted to see me, sir?”
“yes, these officers are here to ask you some questions. don’t worry, you aren’t in trouble. they just need some information for their investigation” he explains as best he could, shifting the conversation over to the two officers.
“as principal lee mentioned, we just need information. are you comfortable with us asking you a few questions?” you slowly nodded, hands beginning to clam up.
“we have reason to believe your friend, na jaemin, has been involved in an incident that occurred last thursday. he claims he was present with you that night. can you confirm this?” you immediately froze. you swore you didn’t even blink. that was the night he came to your window, all banged up a bruised. but you couldn’t tell them that part. so you went with a variation of the truth,
“yes, he was with me, we often study together and watch movies on thursdays.” you tried your best to maintain eye contact, not wanting to draw any more attention.
“have you noticed anything odd in his behaviour lately?” you knew they were just following protocol, but you weren’t prepared for any of this.
“not really. he is quite reserved naturally, but there hasn’t been anything too alarming, in my opinion” the officers just nodded, scribbling down your words.
“thankyou for your time, if we were to need any more statements from you, would you be okay with that?” you simply nodded, wanting nothing more than to get back to class.
“great, we’ll be heading off now, thankyou principal lee, and y/n” you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. what in god’s name happened that night?
“why were the cops coming out of the office? did you do something?” your friend, jimin asked you as she rushed to your side.
“n-no, they were asking about jaemin” you sighed. you didn’t want to tell her much, knowing she wasn’t his biggest fan.
“y/n, you have to stop hanging out with him so much. he’s bad news. i mean, he’s got the cops questioning you? is that someone you really want to be with?” you knew she had your best interest at heart, but she didn’t know jaemin like you did. no one did.
“don’t talk about him like he’s some pest in my life. he makes me happy, okay? i’d do pretty much anything for him” you huff, beginning to walk away.
“but would he do anything for you?” her words made you stop in your tracks. she was right to question that. god, even you questioned it sometimes. would he?
//
And now every time a siren sounds
I wondеr if you're around
'Cause you know that I'd do it all again
//
jaemin insisted he take you to the homecoming dance — he even pinky promised you.
“jaemin! i’m so excited for tonight, what time are you coming by?” you excitedly squeal into the phone, making jaemin slightly chuckle.
“uh love, i-i don’t think i can make it tonight” you felt your heart drop.
“what? why?”
“i have some business to take care of. i promise you i’ll take you out soo-“
“i think you should stop making promises you can’t keep. hope you have fun doing whatever you’re doing” you immediately hung up, wiping the stray tears from your face. you quickly pulled yourself together. showing up alone to the homecoming dance after you told your friends you were going with jaemin, was probably one of the most embarrassing things you had ever experienced. they all felt pity for you, dragging you to dance, trying to get you to forget about jaemin. but nothing was working. you were beyond disappointed, partially in yourself, for believing he could actually keep his promise.
the moment you got home, you saw someone sitting on the steps just outside your front door. you let out a loud sigh, hoping he heard everything. you wanted to push right past him and go to bed, but jaemin trapped you in his arms. you felt something was off about him. he was stiff as a board, he didn’t say anything to you. you finally got a glimpse of his face, his right eye was swollen and there was a slight gash on his cheek. you immediately gasped, all your anger towards him had fizzled away.
“w-what happened?” you barely whispered, bringing your hand to the side of his face. jaemin winced as he felt the touch, quickly pulling away.
“finally got what was coming” he tried to laugh it off, but he knew you weren’t going to laugh back. instead, you allowed him to follow you to your room, hoping your parents were fast sleep.
jaemin slowly made his way to sit on your bed. you felt like he had something else he was hiding from you, but your main focus was yet again, tending to his wounds.
“i’m getting some real déjà vu right now” you sighed, cleaning his face. jaemin tried his best to not move, but everything stung. he really got it bad this time.
“i’m sorry for breaking my promise. i know how much the dance meant to you” he softly muttered, eyes avoiding yours.
“i-it’s okay”
“no it’s not! you do so much for me, and i couldn’t even do this one thing for you. i feel so shitty. why do you even keep me around? i’m deadweight and that’s trouble for someone with wings” he scoffs, replaying harsh words he had heard from others in the past. you slowly plucked away the medical kit, turning to face him properly. (a/n: not me using a quote from the show ‘panic’)
“you’re not deadweight...you’re a good person, jaem. you’re good to me, that’s what matters” you gently push away the stray strands of hair that covered his forehead. he smiled at your touch, leaning into your palm as you brought it to cup his cheek.
“i love you”
you almost choked on your own saliva...he loves you?
“w-what?”
“yikes, not the response i was hoping for” he yet again, tried to relieve the tension with a joke. but you weren’t having any of it.
“can you be serious for one minute in your life? you can’t just say something like that and not expect me to freak out! i mean, do i love you too? of course i do! i would be stupid not to, but jaemin, you cant just spit that out of nowhere!” you began pacing around your room, which made jaemin smile even wider.
“well i just did. and i mean it” he stood to meet you, standing in the middle of your room as he held your shoulders in place.
“s-so what happens now?” jaemin hesitated for a moment, did he just ruin everything?
“we can’t be together”
“pardon?”
“i-i can’t do that to you. i can’t let you be with someone like me. i’m constant danger. the cops are going to get me one day, and i don’t want you to see it happen” he started rambling, you were barely understanding anything.
“this makes no sense. you’re telling me that you love me but you can’t be with me? why would you do this to me?” you started sobbing,
“i-i don’t expect you to understand. i just needed to tell you before...” he paused, pulling you closer to him. but you pushed yourself away. you didn’t want to hear anymore but forced yourself to listen. you needed answers.
“before what?” you gritted through your teeth,
“before i leave” your eyes widened, tears stopped flowing for a moment. you couldn’t make out any words, allowing jaemin to explain,
“i cant stay here, not in this town. i need to go somewhere else. somewhere they won’t find me. somewhere i can start over” he sighed, sitting back down on your bed.
“take me with you! we can go tonight, i don’t care where i am, as long as you’re with me i’ll be okay!” you begged, pulling out your duffel bag from under your bed. but jaemin quickly gripped your wrists, pulling you to sit with him on the bed.
“y-you can’t come with me. it’s not fair on you, or me. i want you to have a better life, a life with no regrets. you have so many goals, i can’t hold you back from them. i won’t” he insisted, holding your hands in his as he pleaded you with his eyes. you weren’t thinking straight, everything became so overwhelming.
“why are you doing this to me? i cant do this without you! i cant get through all of this without you. please don’t leave” your hands began to shake. jaemin brought them to his lips, placing soft pecks on each knuckle in an attempt to calm you down.
“you can. i know you can. because you’re you. an incredibly loyal, intelligent and courageous person. you don’t need me. if anything, i need you more” he smirked at the last part. you kept shaking your head, not believing anything he was saying.
“just promise me one thing?” he whispered, leaning in closer to you so that your foreheads touched.
“don’t forget me. don’t forget all the things we got up to. i had so much fun with you, more fun than i’ve had in my entire life. i can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me. i love you, okay? i’ll always love you” finally, he kissed you. his hands dragged to your waist, rubbing over the soft skin. you shined into the kiss, partially still upset with his departure.
“can we just have one last night together?” you pulled away, wiping away the rest of your tears. jaemin softly nodded, pulling you down onto the bed, wrapping his arms around you.
“thankyou for being my partner in crime. i’ll miss you” he sighed, gently scribbling random doodles on your arm with his fingers.
“i miss you already. maybe one day, we’ll meet again? i don’t know, am i being silly?” you didn’t want him to answer, afraid he’d break another promise.
“you’re not silly at all. we’ll see what life has planned for us” he responded. that was enough for you. you’ll leave it up to fate. you were just happy you were spending one last night with the boy you loved so dearly.
//
It's bittersweet to think about the damage that we'd do
'Cause I was goin' down, but I was doin' it with you
Yeah, everything we broke and all the trouble that we made
But I say that I hate you with a smile on my face
Oh, look what we became
//
you awoke the very next morning in an empty bed. your heart sunk, knowing jaemin was gone had finally hit you. your eyes drifted to where he once was, landing on a piece of paper.
‘go to the building for one last goodbye. i hope you like it.
- jaem <3 ‘
you quickly got changed and rushed there as fast as you could. would he be there to bid you farewell? you weren’t betting on it, but was still curious as to what he had to show you. you made your way into the building, your eyes cascading over all the graffiti. finally, you saw exactly what he left for you. he painted over the mural you both worked on. it had been replaced with a painting of a butterfly. its wings were all different colours, you could tell he spent ages on it. you finally reached the bottom of the artwork, a small inscription was engraved,
‘for the one with the wings, keep on soaring’
“so cheesy, i hate it” you joke to yourself, smiling at his words. this was his final gift for you. as you admired the painting once again, memories of all your little adventures came rushing back. everything you did together seemed like an eternity ago. although you wished you had confessed to him sooner, or kissed him harder, you knew that he was gone for good. jaemin wasn’t the time to keep many promises, so you’ve learnt. you started to put your faith in the universe. if you were meant to be, then you would meet again. but for now, you were content with everything you had gone through together. you were grateful to have known someone as amazing as jaemin, and you would never take that for granted. you only hoped he would do the same, no matter where you both were in life. you hoped you could both grow wings and soar through life without any regrets.
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