#swearing

[effinbirds]

[erovalkyrie]

WHY DOES JEAN SAY "SHITKID" - a language theory

Ahh, I saw a post on tumblr here asking why Jean uses "shitkid" as an insult, and I forgot to respond, here is my theory:

English swears in most in sexual manners, "fuck" being the main one, French in scatological manners, "merde" being the big one.

Thus, French uses "de merde" (-of shit) as emphasis, like English uses "fucking", i.e.: "putain de merde" (fucking asshole), "truc de merde" (fucking thing that isn't working), "peur de merde" (fucking scared)

"shit" (noun) is just his native language way of using emphasis.

So he is calling Harry a "fucking child", putting emphasis on his tantrums, misbehaviour, immaturity, etc. As people can switch back to their native language when getting emotional, his native "gosse de merde" probably became "shitkid", and it stuck, that is my theory.

I quickly checked what his real French insult is, and it is "clown de service" (service/professional clown). Again, stressing Harry's unacceptable behaviour *at work*. "Clown" definitely goes harder in the French language as an insult, stressing the unprofessional conduct.

So we have both French with "professional clown" and German with "jelly head" as localisations for "shitkid", and I really like both of them, they fit their respective languages really well! And the English one gives him a unique insult that loops back to the structure of his native language! :D

[prokopetz]

I didn't back the Friday Night Funkin' Kickstarter, but I've been casually following the dev blog, and it's kind of entertaining how every few months they're like "hey, we've been working on this thing for multiple years, and just last week we figured out that [insert basic tenet of project management here]".

Like, the transparency is great, and at least they are figuring this stuff out, which is more than can be said for most indie game projects, but holy fuck, these dudes raised 2.2 million dollars and spent the next two years re-inventing project management fundamentals from first principles. They could have saved themselves a lot of trouble, is what I mean to say!

[roses-r-rosie3]

Suspicions

Ethan Landry x M!Reader

Spoilers for scream 6!!!!

Warnings: angst and swearing

A/n: y/n was just shopping at the bodega when Sam and Tara run in

It was a normal day. Y/n went down to the bodega to get some groceries, when all of a sudden he sees Sam and Tara run into the bodega in fear. “Hey, hey, guys calm down what’s happening?” Said y/n. “Y/n call 911 he’s coming!” Said Tara. “Who is coming Tara?” Said y/n. All of a sudden the three of them see ghostface enter the bodega.

“Do we got a problem here guy?” Said a random stranger. Ghostface tilted his head and started stabbing the guy. “Holy shit!” Said y/n. “Hey!” Yelled the store owner. Ghostface turned around as the owner shot his shotgun at ghostface who narrowly avoided getting shot. The owner checked if ghostface was still there but he disappeared. “Get out from the back!” Screamed the owner. “Fuck! It’s locked” yelled Sam. “Keys! We need your keys!” Yelled Tara. As the store owner was about to hand over his keys ghostface snuck up behind him and stabbed him. After the owner was on the ground wounded ghostface pointed the owners shotgun at him and shot him.

Y/n guided Sam and Tara behind a shelf to hide from ghostface. They began to hide from ghostface as he shot around the bodega. Sam saw a beer bottle and picked up slowly and threw it across the room to distract ghostface. Her plan worked as ghostface walked away from the aisle. All of a sudden Tara accidentally stepped on a piece of glass. ghostface turned around and Sam pushed the shelf onto the attacker. They started to run towards the door. They ran out to see that ghostface left his mask behind.

“Y/n!” Said Ethan as he walked towards y/n only a couple minutes after the attack. By that time Tara and Sam had already left to go get questioned by detective Bailey. “Ethan what the fuck are you doing here” said y/n now suspicious of his boyfriend. “I heard a gunshot and ran down as quick as I could” said Ethan. “You heard it from all the way in your apartment?” Said y/n. “Yes! Ask chad even he heard it!” Said Ethan. “Then why isn’t chad out here?” Said y/n. “Babe just listen to me!” Said Ethan. “I love you Ethan but I can’t be near you right now” said y/n

Ethan’s POV (kinda)

“Ethan why the fuck would you go check on y/n!” Said Quinn over the phone. Even though they were talking over the phone Ethan could tell Quinn was clearly pissed off at him. “You just put yourself at the top of his suspect list!” Said Quinn. “You know how dad is going to feel about this” she added. “He’s going to tell you to kill him” said Quinn. “I can’t!” Said Ethan. “Then find a way to get off his suspect list then” said Quinn. “Or else I’ll kill him for you” said Quinn.

Back to y/n’s pov

Y/n was in his apartment thinking about what just happened. Ethan can’t be the killer, he wouldn’t kill anyone! He wouldn’t even hurt a fly. Or so y/n thinks. All of a sudden he hear a ringing coming from his phone. It was from Ethan. He decided to ignore it. Seconds later he received a voicemail from Ethan. He rolled his eyes and clicked play it was an audio of Ethan’s screams and what sounded like stabbing. All of a sudden Ethan’s number was calling him again as he was listening.

“Ethan this isn’t fucking funny!” Yelled y/n. “Poor poor y/n this isn’t Ethan” said ghostface over the phone. While ghostface was saying this he got a text from Ethan. It was a picture of Ethan on a chair with tape over his mouth and ropes tying him to the chair. Y/n noticed Ethan having a bruise on his head. “What do you want from me” said y/n as he held onto his phone tightly. “I want to finish off what I started at the bodega” said ghostface. “Fuck you!” Y/n cried. “Tell me where your little friends are or your little boyfriend gets it!” Said ghostface as Ethan’s whines could be heard in the background.

“Why are you doing this to me” said y/n in tears. “Just tell me where the fuck they are or else your boyfriend fucking dies!” Said ghostface. Y/n looked back at the photo and you noticed that the place where Ethan was being held captive was just a few minutes away from your apartment. Y/n tried stalling and being as quite as possible so that ghostface wouldn’t suspect that he is going to save Ethan. When he tried opening the door slowly there was a ghostface waiting for him and they stabbed him in the stomach before he closed the door.

“Uh-uh-uh y/n you can’t leave so choose you little bitch!” Said ghostface. “Unless.. if you wanna die to save your friends and your boyfriend” said ghostface. Y/n Just started to sob. “I’ll take that as you wanna die then” said ghostface as you heard loud banging at your door. You took the nearest kitchen knife to defend yourself as you waited for the ghostface to barge in. “One last game y/n. Do you think I made it into your apartment without you noticing? Yes or yes?” Said ghostface as one of the attackers came from the shadows and stabbed your stomach.

Y/n Starts to scream in pain as ghostface twists the knife on impact. Ghostface pulls the knife out of y/n and lays him on the ground. “Please stop!” Y/n cried in pain. Ghostface kneeled down tilted his head thinking about a response. “Hmmm… no” said ghostface as he starts repeatedly stabbing you in the sides, ignoring your screams of pain and leaving you to bleed out on your white carpet.

Time skip to a few minutes later

You thought that you had died but Ethan was with you in the ambulance. “How are you here” said y/n weakly. “As soon as ghostface left me I ran to your apartment as fast as I could, and I found you on the ground bleeding out” said Ethan. “Where is your bruise at?” Said y/n. “I didn’t have a bruise” said Ethan. “In the picture ghostface sent me you had a bruise” said y/n. “It must have been the lighting I guess” said Ethan painfully lying.

After y/n was dropped off at the hospital Ethan met up with Quinn and punched her in the arm. “I thought I told you to only stab him 2 or 3 times not like 50 times!” Said Ethan. “He’s still alive isn’t he? And besides this is apart of dad’s plans” said Quinn.

A/n: pls request more Ethan x M!reader i really need some ideas 😭😭😭

[chokulit]

Sometimes i think about how demo acts so responsible and reasonable in the war comic and i just

Like look at this. What was this. They didnt have to make him be the type of guy that tries to calmly resolve conflict like this im gonna fucking explode

[movieexpert1978]

Therapy?

So this idea came up a while ago as I was talking with @illiana-mystery​   We definitely agreed that Chandler Manning needs therapy. We also thought that maybe some of Alfred’s other cop characters, like Gamache, would be good counsellors for him. So here is that idea as a little crack fic. There’s some swearing and movie/tv show barrier breaking too. Just a little funny thing. 

Chandler Manning, Armand Gamache, Ricardo Morales, and Randall Pepperidge are featured here. Enjoy! 

The three men gathered in the living room and waited for the fourth. He was told a different time to get there so the others could brace themselves. When he finally came in, he huffed in annoyance.

“What the fuck is this shit?!” Chandler Manning huffed as he stared at the other three.

“Manning, we just want to talk,” The leader said kindly. He was in a burgundy sweater with a matching tie just poking above the zipper.

“You think I’m dirty too Gamache?” Manning shot back as he sat down.

“We just want to help,” another said. This one was in all blue. He was wearing a navy blue suit with a light blue button-up shirt and a matching blue tie.

“Really Morales? I figured you’d understand given that you’re a homicide detective,” Manning argued.

“Even homicide detectives need therapy,” Detective Ricardo Morales said.

“Therapy? I don’t need no fucking therapy,” Manning snapped. The third man smirked way too loud making Manning glare at him. He was in a three-piece grey suit with a brown tie. Of course, Manning was in all black.

“You’re right Arman, he is stubborn,” the man said with a British accent.

“Oh whatever….Govenah!” Manning mocked with an accent of his own.

“I’m the best British Chief Inspector, Randall Pepperidge, thank you very much. Gamache and I have been friends for years and he’s a lot more compassionated than most,” Randall explained.

“Yeah, I got that. He’s a little too soft if you ask me,” Manning huffed.

“Hey, knock it off Manning. Like I said we’re just trying to help, unless you want to end up just like your wife in the psyche ward,” Morales countered.

“Hey at least I’m still married,” Manning protested.

“My divorce was peaceful and my daughter still likes me,” Morales spoke back calmly.

“My daughter likes me too! I saved her life from that Ripper fucker!” Manning snapped.

“Are you in therapy Morales?” Pepperidge asked.

“Of course I am. It comes with the job and I’m not ashamed of it,” Morales directed that last part to Manning. He just rolled his eyes.

“That’s what bitching at your partner is for,” Manning said with a pout and crossed his arms.

“Manning, you’ve got a lot going on. You can talk to us,” Gamache spoke gently.

“I deal with some pretty heavy stuff…yes,” Manning huffed. “At least I didn’t humiliate myself and learned from my mistakes,” Manning snapped at Pepperidge.

“What are you talking about?” Randall asked confused. Now it was Manning’s turn to snicker.

“I didn’t lose a bet and wear a giant pink tutu with a pink fluffy handbag,” Manning laughed. Pepperidge turned beat red as the other two tried to hold back their laughter.

“Well it was my own fault. I had to hold up to my end of things,” he mumbled quietly.

“Not to mention that you pulled it off very well. What fucking middle-aged man can pull off a god-damn tutu…” Manning laughed. Now Morales and Gamache burst out laughing.

“Nice sock suspenders by the way,” Morales giggled.

“I did hear that you caught the bouquet too,” Gamache added.

“Yes, I did. I thought it was lovely…and I happened to be engaged now too!” Pepperidge snapped.

“Well, congrats to you, you big ballerina,” Manning teased.

“Well, at least we caught our suspect! You only caught a crazy woman who stabbed her husband!” Pepperidge argued back.

“Hey take that back!” Manning snapped as he stood up. Now things were starting to heat up. “At least I got teased for a potential sequel.”

“So?”

“I’m not in the reboot stage.” Pepperidge flinched at that.

“Come on Manning, be nice,” Morales insisted.

“And what about you DA boy? Can you make up your fucking mind? Oh wait not even your show runners can with the back and forth episodes!” Manning laughed.

“Yeah well…” Morales tried to argue but all he did was pout.

“Ok Manning, you’ve made your point,” Gamache spoke.

“At least my story didn’t end on a cliffhanger!” The other two let out a dramatic gasp.

“Low blow Manning,” Morales muttered.

“There is a petition going around,” Gamache said calmly.

“Ha! When was the last time that worked?”

“Well, Lucifer was picked up by Netflix and…what was that other show…oh yes! Manifest!” Pepperidge spoke up.

“It was a rhetorical question tutu,” Manning growled.

“I’ve got a lot of books…” Gamache spoke weakly.

“Oh, who the fuck reads anymore!? You get all these fuckers destroying all these good books with all these shitty movie adaptations. Half the time no one knows there was a book in the first place!”

“Wow…you really are one mean son of a bitch,” Gamache sighed.

“Maybe you’ll get a movie or something. That seems to be the latest trend now,” Manning added.

“Feel better?”

“Actually…fuck yes I do!” Manning cheered. “Thanks guys, see yah later,” Manning practically skipped out the door.

“Asshole,” Morales growled.

“You should get your sorcerer buddy for that one,” Pepperidge said to Gamache.

“No! They would have gotten along!” Morales said with dread.

“Yeah, and he hardly gets along with anyone as it is,” Gamache sighed rubbing his eyes.

“I heard that!” Horvath yelled.

[sunsestart]

YESSSS !! FINALLY !! Let Papyrus Say Fuck dayyyyyy my beloved

-

[deboracabral]

I think about this meme every single day

[stiffycock]

I’m sorry

[effinbirds]

[winniefrezcomics]

So I have a new obsession XD

[prokopetz]

I feel like the legal institution of adoption is unreasonably limited by restricting it to parent-child relationships. If me and some random asshole want to legally be second cousins, I think we should just be able to do that.

[roses-r-rosie3]

Sweet

Ethan Landry x M!Reader

Slight spoilers for scream 6

Warnings: fluff, swearing, drinking

A/n: takes place in the frat party

Y/n was hanging out with Ethan. “Hey I’m gonna go get another drink” you told Ethan. “Okay” said Ethan as he went over to Chad to talk to him. Y/n walked into the kitchen and saw that she was with this random guy. Y/n waved at her and she waved back. Y/n took a shot glass and started to walk back over to Ethan when he overheard the random guy say, “You know what, I got a bottle of fireball up in my room.” Y/n heard Tara say, “fuck it, yeah let’s go.” “Hey, how about we go home, it’s getting pretty late” said y/n as Anika and Mindy started to come up to them. “No, uh, I think I’m actually still gonna hang but you guys can go ahead and go” said Tara. “Don’t worry I’ll take care of her” said the guy smirking clearly knowing what he was doing. “And I’m spectacularly uninterested in knowing anything about you” said Anika. “No guys it’s fine, I appreciate you guys looking out for me” said Tara. The guy looked back at Anika and y/n giving them a mischievous smile. Anika scoffed as she told you to go get Chad while tried to take care of it.

“Hey, big guy, you’re needed” said y/n. “You too” said y/n as he kissed Ethan on his cheek. You took Ethan to help Chad and Anika. “Hey partner, Tara’s good down here” said Chad. “No, Chad, It’s fine, I want to” said Tara. “Yeah chad, she wants to” said the douche as he dragged Tara up the stairs. “Get your fucking hands off of here” said Chad as he pulled the guy down the stairs. “Get the fuck off of me” said the guy as him and Chad started to push each other. You saw Sam walking towards the scene and you immediately knew what was going to happen. “Shit” you cursed under your breath. “Guys, guys, sorry to interrupt but I’m gonna just take you in the balls real quick” said Sam as she delivered on her word. The guy started to fall in pain on the floor. “Don’t ever lay your hands on my sister” said Sam. “Well I think it’s time to go” you told Ethan as you lead him out of the party.

When you and Ethan were outside you saw Tara storming in-front out the party of you. “Tara, will you stop” said Sam. “I can’t believe you did that, you embarrassed me” said Tara as you saw Ethan and Anika switch hats. “That guy was a dick he was going to take advantage of you” said Sam. “So!?” Said Tara. “So?” Said Sam shocked that her sister would even say that. “If I want to hook up with an asshole thats my decision, it’s my decision!” Said Tara in anger. “It’s not about you, I mean you were out of my life for five years and now you won’t leave me alone for five minutes!” Said Tara. You look at Ethan giving him the awkward look. “Because you’re not dealing with what happened to us, have you even went to see the counselor once?” Said Sam. “No, I’m not going to” said Tara. “Why not” said Sam. “Because I’m uninterested in living in the past like you are” said Sam. “What is that supposed to mean” said Sam who was hurt from what her sister said. “I mean I’m not going to let what happened to us for three days define the rest of my life” said Tara. “So you’re going to pretend nothing happened” said Sam. You look at Ethan spacing out not wanting to hear the rest of the conversation.

All of a sudden you hear someone say “hey” as they splashed their drink at Sam. You then hear her call Sam a murderer. “What the fuck is wrong with you!” Said Sam as she pushed the other girl. They started arguing as you covered Ethan’s eyes. You saw Ethan walk up to her. “Hey- uh- I have some tissue, I have uh, three tissues” said Ethan as he handed them to her. You walked with him. “That was very sweet of you” y/n said as he kissed the curly haired boy’s cheek as they walked over to Sam and Tara’s apartment.

They looked at the news on the TV. The group watched as Sam the neighbor that Quinn referred to as “cute boy” walked into the apartment. “What’s going on” said Sam. “cute boy, nice” said Quinn as Danny walked in the room. The news on the TV revealed that two film students named ‘Greg’ and ‘Jason’ got killed in their apartment. “Holy shit, that’s that chode from our film class, the one obsessed with (I didn’t know what Mindy said😭)” said Mindy. The survivors from last years Woodsborrow massacre started looking at each other. “Pack a bag we leave at ten” Sam told Tara. “Sam.. wait sam” said Tara. “We’re heading out of this City” said Sam. Danny was confused about what was going on. “Thank you very much suspicious new guy but it hunk we got it from here, goodnight, be safe, go go go go” said Chad as he shooed Danny out of the apartment. “Hold on for a second because this might not have anything to do with us” said Tara. “Are you serious?” Said Sam. “It’s Halloween everyone is wearing masks” said Tara

You looked over at Ethan and saw that he was on his computer finishing his film study homework. “This isn’t a coincidence you knew him!” Said Sam. “Barley” Said Tara. “Chad, Mindy back me up” said Sam. “I mean it is a bit” “close to Halloween” said Mindy finishing her twin’s sentence. “See” said Sam. “Quinn, your dads a cop right? Can you call him and find out what’s going on” said Tara as she turned back to her sister. “Before you make the unilateral decision to abandon my college education and flee the fucking state” said Tara. You looked at Mindy and took some of the popcorn from her bowl. “I’m calling him now” said Quinn. “Thank you” said Tara. All of a sudden a phone call was made to Sam’s phone. Everyone except for Ethan looked over at the phone.

“Why did everyone just freak out over the phone ringing?” Said Ethan. “Babe you got to keep up” said y/n. “Sam, my dad wants to talk to you” said Quinn as she gave her phone to Sam. When the call was over you saw Sam walk out the apartment with Tara following her. “Welp.. I’m going to call it a night, I think that’s enough drama for the day” said y/n as he have Ethan one last kiss before he left.

When he left he heard Ethan running after him. “Hey babe, I was wondering if you wanted to come over to me and Chad’s place to watch some movies before you go?” Said Ethan. “That’s very Sweet of you Ethan, but I’m really tired” y/n giggled before giving Ethan one last kiss before walking to his apartment. “I’ll see you tomorrow” said y/n as he closed his door.



[doctor-dt]

hes writing a college paper on diplomacy between humans and monsters. he wants to become a lawyer :)

[dont-touch-the-flower-child]

there's no plot here just Papyrus randomly saying fuck