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[maxineyachtwear]

Website: https://www.maxineyachtwear.com/

Maxine Yachtwear is solution brand that creates the next generation of versatile swimsuits.

The concept was established out of a desire to create transitional swimwear that evokes a sense of elevated sophistication, and beauty; breaking the traditional space that have previously defined a swimwear. This juxtaposition is intrinsically connected to today’s cosmopolitan woman who finds herself constantly exposed to changing elements of modern life.

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Our goal is to consistently innovate on the past and advance our industry for the future with top quality materials and craftmanship.

Maxine designs, manufactures, distributes and sells fashion and lifestyle products, including resort wear, swimwear and accessories that inspires confidence and encourages adventure, while always glamorous and comfortable. 

- Sustainability:

Maxine products are crafted with the highest quality materials and craftsmanship. Each Maxine product is produced from high-quality Italian and Brazilian fabrics, and handmade by expert Colombian artisans.

Aside from the fabric quality, Maxine uses the finest French and Italian nickel-free, gold plated accessories, that are non-hazardous and environmentally friendly. The gold-plated accessories are also, rustproof, and keep their quality in long-term use.

Committed to the pursuit of a sustainable future, Maxine is dedicated to be a more responsible and environmentally conscious company and collaborates with companies that prioritize recycle materials, renewable energy, water-saving, and eco-friendly development.

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[bratshaws]

goodness gracious 83. brb x oc

THIS FIC IS 18+ ONLY! MINORS PLS DNI!

a/n: i feel we all need jesus.

check out the fic's playlist made by the sweet @wiipes !!

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: fluff, smut ( rooster keeps on being horny for Bea, shocking literally no one )

chapters:

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44

45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64

65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73/74/75/76/77/78/79/80/81/82

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!)

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2 @emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads

-

There were boxes upon boxes upon boxes all over the house. Throughout the week, they were able to move the most important stuff to the least but still kept some items inside since they still had a lot to do in terms of fixing everything. She was extremely thankful for the dagger squad and Mav, who would come up after work to help them out in moving everything into the new place.

Not to mention they all wanted to take a look at their new house - Coyote and Fanboy beelining to the pool, Payback offering suggestions on how to add more shelves to Beatrice’s office and Phoenix’ and Halo moving around their bathrooms to check the size- which she couldn’t complain about. Evelyn,Shells, Penny and the girls also came, helping them move more stuff around and then enjoying the large patio area with Beatrice.

Bea and Rooster were going to go shopping by the end of the week and then finish everything that was left to do in the house. There were still a lot of boxes to unpack - surprisingly since both of them never thought they had too much stuff - and things to organize. 

But it was fine since they were both going to have time to do it.

She also talked to her parents - and eventually Guillermo who was in the house at the time too - what she was doing and she made sure to voice it out as ‘I’m not asking for permission,I am going to move in with Bradley’. Her parents, neither of them, complained. In fact her father smiled and her mother worryingly whispered the word ‘grandchildren’ with almost a wave of tears in her eyes.

Guillermo was quiet, but he took a quick look at his parents to check their reactions, figuring out if he should freak out or not. He was still, out of everyone including their parents, having a hard time seeing Beatrice as the thirty years old woman that she was. To him it was still hard to compute that now she had a boyfriend, a new house and a new car. But he just gave her a small smile for support, he didn’t want her to feel like he was upset at her or something of the sort.

She also told them about the photo shoot, and said that the only reason she was able to get the car and move in with Brad was because of it and that they shouldn’t freak out when it happened. That made them a little bit more uneasy, her father’s expression changed from happiness to worry when she said it was a swimsuit photo shoot - well mainly swimsuit - and she knew he wanted to give her a whole speech about it.

But she reinforced that she was thirty now. She wasn’t under the legal age to do stuff like that. 

Eventually they did accept it, a bit begrudgingly so but they did. So really, everything was going great! 

She couldn’t complain! Really, it was like that something in her changed, like she was really ready to take over everything and anything now. She had Rooster, she had her independence, she had her own way of doing things, she was so happy.

Beatrice had a lot of time in her days off from the Hard Deck, so she decided to use that time to fix what she could and arrange their clothes. She still hadn’t shown Rooster the picture she was finishing up, thank God she managed to hide it before he noticed it again, shoving it back behind her armoire - in their room - instead of the small walk-in closet they got since she knew he’d be able to find it easily.

She was pulling the clothes from inside the boxes, sitting on her knees with Jolene keeping her company in the master bedroom. It was nearing sunset, which meant Rooster would come back really soon. Beatrice just smiles, humming to herself while placing every article of clothing inside drawers or inside the closet if there was the need to. His Hawaiian shirts stayed inside the armoire since it’d be quicker for him to slip them on before he had to leave anywhere.

She couldn’t help herself, bringing the colorful fabric to her nose to smell his cologne, her cheeks reddening, “And to think a few months back I was smelling my pillow.” she mutters to herself, chuckling as she folds it inside the drawer, keeping it a perfect square next to the others. 

Jolene, who was just lying on her side with her head directly angled towards the door, snapped her eyes open when her ear flicked at a noise. A noise she got used to already, a noise that made her roll back to a sitting position with her tail wagging back and forth on the wooden floors. The sound of the garage doors’ opening, followed by the sound of a car turning off was enough for Jolene to stand to her feet and rush down the staircase with her claws clicking on each step.

Her whining gets lower the further she gets away from Beatrice, the brunette smiling while continuing with the chores as she hears Rooster’s deep voice coming from the kitchen where the garage’s inside door connected, “Babe?”

“I’m up here!” she calls back, the sound of his boots hitting the floor, followed by Jolene’s happy tapping right behind showed he was already making his way over, the slow thudding of his feet going up the stairs was enough answer. The steps halt by the doorframe, where Beatrice sees him leaning his shoulder on the threshold, smiling down at her, “Hi!” She gently sets the clothing aside, rushing to stand at her feet and greet him properly, wrapping her arms around his neck to kiss him, humming against his lips.

Beatrice just sighs excitedly when he hugs her middle, tugging her closer to himself as if it was even possible, breaking the kiss to press a trail of butterfly pecks along her jawline, ending with his head pressed on the crook of her neck, “Hi,baby.” his voice is muffled because of where his mouth is currently nestled against, one of her hands coming up to run her fingers through the sandy strands.

His shoulders feel so tense that Beatrice couldn’t help but gently massage them with a hand, “How was work?” he just makes a disgruntled noise, letting go of her waist to step further into the room, leaving Beatrice staring at him in confusion, “Roos?”

Her boyfriend falls back on the bed, like a starfish before he runs his hands up and down his face, inhaling through the space between his fingers, “Roos, what’s going on?”

The pilot runs his tongue inside his mouth, poking his cheek and lower lip as he thought how to reply, “I’m going to be deployed.” he finally says and it sounds heavier than it should be. Beatrice stays close to the door, digesting every word with her mouth parting but nothing coming out, “I’ll be leaving tomorrow morning.” 

“How long will you be gone?”

Rooster laughs humorlessly, “Five months, maybe six.”

Oh.

Beatrice’s sharp inhale was more felt than heard to him, her lower lip disappearing into her mouth as she tried to figure out how to reply. Her heart was feeling one thing, but her brain was going ‘you knew it would happen again, you knew it would’. Rationality versus emotion was a constant struggle she had in her life. When her eyes lifted to Rooster, she wasn’t expecting him to look so upset, almost angrily glaring at their beige colored ceiling. “Roos…” she calls, but he’s too into his head to hear her, so she has to be more physical.

Beatrice’s stride brings her closer to the bed, closer to his spread legs, the same legs she climbed over and pushed forward so she’d be straddling his hips instead. The sudden weight on his crotch snapped his eyes back down, then up to where Beatrice’s face hovered over his with a small smile, lowering her body so their chests would touch and her hands could be used to prop her chin up, “Hi.” she whispers, “I lost you for a minute there.”

Rooster’s eyebrows remained low, his jaw tense and almost ready to snap at any second, “Sorry.I have a lot on my mind.”

“Tell me.” she says sweetly, removing one of her hands from under her chin to touch his face, “You know you can.”

But he takes a while to finally say something, which Beatrice understands she isn’t going to push him too much when he wasn’t ready. So she waits for a bit, with her chin on his chest, smiling as his huge hands drop down from his sides to her waist, then slid to the flare of her hips then to the curve of her butt, keeping them there, “I knew I was going to get deployed again.” he says quietly, with his eyes still on the ceiling “I just…didn’t want it to be now. We just moved in together, Bea.”

She didn’t interrupt him, but she did push herself upwards a bit more to have a better look of his face, “Six whole fucking months is a lot and we didn’t even unpack half of our stuff yet! And not to mention I don’t want to leave you alone in here.” he shakes his head diminutively as if he couldn’t believe this was happening “It’s a new house in a new neighborhood. I just wanted a little bit more time, you know?”

Beatrice shifts her gaze to the side quickly, before returning to meet his brown eyes, “Do I need to argue with your superiors and tell them to change your schedule?” her lips quirked into a little smile that made his own mouth twitch into a grin, a soft laugh making its way past his lips. But when the laughter died down, his eyes continued serious in a way that Beatrice really disliked, “Brad,” she calls, then kiss the tip of his nose to bring his attention back to her, “Bradley Nicholas.” that made him look, blinking up at her in surprise, “I know you are upset but…I…” Beatrice shrugs, still trying to find words, “I can’t hold you back.”

“You aren’t holding me back.”

“You know what I mean.” she says gently, brushing the pad of her thumb on the tiny scars on his chin, “We both knew it’d happen…and yeah, it sucks and yeah, it could’ve happened at a later time but…it happened now. So, it’s better to deal with it right now than later.”

Rooster’s eyebrows twitch, his jaw goes back to its clenched position before he sighs through his nose, squeezing her buttcheeks through the soft cotton shorts she liked wearing while at home. Home. They had a home and he wouldn’t even be able to enjoy it for too long, “Will you be okay with me gone?”

Beatrice hums, her chest expanding in a deep breath, “I will. I can call Mike to come over, or Shells or even Evelyn if I get too overwhelmed Roos.” he makes a disgruntled face, “But I’ll figure it out, I managed to do it when you left last time…and I know it was for a shorter amount of time but, I managed it the best I could….will we be able to talk?”

“Yeah, a lot more than last time.’ and that gave him some comfort, the mission not being so intense that the contact would be average lifted a weight from his shoulders. He was still upset, but at least it was better than the alternative. “Probably twice a month maybe,I’ll have to check…I’ll probably miss my birthday.”

His birthday was in June. Beatrice frowned, using his chest as support as she pushed herself to sit on his lap, “I’ll prepare you something for when you come back.” she smiles, “Even if it’s a few days later or a month later.” his own frown never dissipated, “Roos…don’t be like that, it’s okay. I’m not upset…well,I am a little but this wasn’t your fault.” 

“I know but it’s still…” he sighs, dropping his head onto the soft mattress “Shitty.”

Beatrice purses her lips, staring at the column of his throat for a while, then she lifts herself from his lap - which prompted a noise of complaint from him - “Come on.” she smiles, offering him her hand. Rooster pushed himself to his elbows, confusion written all over his face, “Come on!” she made grabby hands towards him, making the pilot laugh softly and then drop his hand on her own.

“What are you planning?” he questions once he’s back on his feet, towering over her smiling face, “You got very smiley all of sudden.”

“Well,I think tonight will be a good night for me to pamper you.” was her only reply, her cheeks reddening as she spoke, “I’ll prepare us dinner, I know some Italian dishes that I think you’ll like and in the meantime,” she walks around him while holding his hand, guiding him to the bran new ensuite bathroom that looked like a mix of their old bathrooms together, “You’ll take a really nice bath.”

Rooster stares her down with his eyebrows furrowed just enough, watching as she let go of his hand to open the box of fresh bathroom supplies neither of them used yet - as in, they had soap and shampoo but this was the fancy stuff- rummaging through it until she found it, “Bourbon Vanilla.” she says, lifting a dark brown bottle with a golden and black label. He didn’t even see her buying that, how did he not see it?

“Bea,” he tries to call her, to make her stop but she’s on a mission, already grabbing clean towels from the cabinet - it was one of the first things they managed to organize - and setting a dark blue one on the sink. He didn’t think he deserved that, why make her worry so much like that? But then again it was Bea and she was the one who cared about others the most…and his heart just shattered and rebuilt itself thinking about it. He really had no words to explain how much she meant to him, “I…” she turns around to face him once she shuts the faucet, smiling in question, “...thanks babe. I really appreciate it.”

Beatrice’s cheeks redden even more, setting the bottle of liquid soap to the side, “You are welcome.” she leans up enough to kiss his lips gently, giggling against his mouth when he tries to deepen it,”Nooo, no, Roos.” the hand on his chest prevents him from getting closer, “I’m need to prepare us dinner–”

“Do you have to?” he questions once his lips manage to trail kisses down her jawline and her neck, “We can order something.”

She just laughed more, cupping his face with her hands and lifting his head enough so their eyes would meet, “I do. I’d hate having you leave without a proper nice meal.” she whispered, kissing his lips once again, “And I’ll prepare breakfast tomorrow too and I won’t argue about it.” she added quickly when his mouth opened to protest, just pecking his plump lower lip and then skittering around him, “See you in a bit!”

Rooster was almost disappointed she didn’t stay, he would’ve liked her to stay, it’d be a lot better if she stayed. But he heard her going downstairs to their large kitchen, in their large new house and - fuck this place was so big. He couldn’t even imagine being alone in such a place like this. The house already had alarms included, which he was okay with, but maybe they should add more…he wondered if he could resolve that before he was deployed tomorrow morning…or maybe not, he’d be out of the country as soon as the sun shines.

That also stalled his other plans, especially the big one. He had to do that when he came back, which to him was a pain in the ass because he’d just do it now. But he asked Beatrice now and she said yes, he’d be out of the country and she’d be even more worried about him. He didn’t even notice he was already inside the tub - oh that soap smelled really good - with the water hitting his chest, he sank deeper into it, he was too tall to keep his legs straight so he bent them at the knee until half of his face was submerged.

Why did she have to be so understanding? Six months wasn’t the same as before. It was…a long time, half a fucking year, and he’d be far away…but, at least knowing she’d be waiting for him would be enough of a reason to get back and wish that time went by faster. He didn’t think he needed to be pampered, well…he wasn’t really complaining about it, but he’d be happy to just stay with her, nothing more.

He didn’t know what she was planning, but knowing Beatrice - and knowing how her surprises were very,very nice- he couldn’t wait. It was going to be a while since they saw each other again, so he better enjoy it. 

He stays in the tub for a few more seconds, soaking and letting his body relax the best he could, before he feels clean enough. He just puts on his red boxers, something flowy and light for the night since it was slowly getting warmer and he preferred that over his briefs. He walks down the staircase - his steps still echoing around the house since it’s still fairly empty with just a few pictures decorating the walls.

He sees Jolene’s head pop from the kitchen’s threshold, the thwapping of her tail against one of the cabinets alerting Beatrice he was on his way down. “Hey! I’m almost finished!” she says once he steps past the threshold, leaning his shoulder against the large door frame with his arms crossed as he watches his girlfriend walk around. The table was set, with a large skillet in the middle that smelled delicious.

“I don’t know what you made but I think your ancestors would be very proud.”

Beatrice laughed softly, “You’d be surprised to know this only took me forty minutes to make.” she says with a grin, “It’s Cacio e Pepe and my mom’s chicken parm recipe. She thinks she keeps it a secret but everyone knows how to do it. We just always play we are surprised.” He heard that name before, it was a pasta “Sit, sit!I’ll put it down.”

He was reminded when he visited her family for Christmas and her mother did the very same thing. He smiles, leaning his elbows on the table as she placed the pasta inside a glass bowl they took out of the boxes a few days back, “It looks incredible.” he had to admit he was really hungry, he was just a bit too annoyed to notice before. But a nice bath with a great smelling soap was enough to make him relaxed and more attuned to his body.

“Thank you!” she grins, sitting down in front of him and waiting until he prepared his plate. He always noticed that when she cooked she waited for his reaction before she got some herself. Almost as if she didn’t know how good of a cook she was. But it was endearing, much like everything that Beatrice did, how she’d pull up her knee to put her hands on top and then prop her chin on her knuckles, watching him with a little smile.

Of course the food was great, there was no way it wouldn’t be since he knew how talented she was. And once he voiced how good it was, she finally ate herself. It was strange to eat with their voices echoing around the lower floor, again it was very empty save for a few things, and Rooster was thankful about the wall lights that were in the living room illuminating the whole area.

But he tried to focus on the food and on her more than anything else. Beatrice made everything so much easier, she was always so bright and full of life he couldn’t even describe how much she did for him.

She didn’t let him wash the dishes, nor put the food aside, reiterating that it was his pampering night and he had to do absolutely nothing. So he stood to the side, more specifically, he was in the living room, enjoying the expanse of their new couch - their old ones were on his office and her art room specifically - with his head leaning back against the back seat, “Fuck this was probably one of the best things we got.” he said outloud, turning his head to the side where he saw Jolene was already asleep on her favored spot in front of the glass doors that faced the patio with the thin sliver of moonlight over her brown fur.

“It is really nice.” Beatrice replies, walking around the couch and completely avoiding his arms when he tries to pull her to his lap, “Roos, we just ate.”

“So?” he counters, stretching his arms to reach for her, letting out an ‘aha!’ when he managed to grab the elastic of her shorts, tugging her backwards so she could fall on his lap. “I’m not doing anything bad, am I?” Bea just squinted her eyes at him with a smile, turning on the tv and opening Netflix then offering the remote to him, “Thank you, I think I can figure something for us to watch.”

“I’m sure you will.” she smiles, leaning her head on his shoulder.

-

They ended up watching two documentaries and a few more episodes of Rupaul’s Drag Race before he grunted a bit in pain from his seat on the couch, “You okay?” Beatrice asks softly,lifting her head from his shoulder and looking at his chest with concern, “Where does it hurt?”

“My back is kinda sore, I think I got more tense than I thought I was.”

Beatrice hums, then looks back at the tv then at him, “I think we had our digestion by now.” She smiles, sliding off from his lap to stand before him, once again offering her hand, “Come on.” He didn't hesitate this time, he just turned the tv off and let her take them up the stairs, turning off the lights in the living room. He honestly could feel a sudden shift in the air and he had a very strong inkling that this night would turn even better.

“Okay,” she closes the door behind him once he walks past the threshold, his eyes following her curves as she goes to her armoire, bend over enough for the soft fabric of her shorts to ride up, “I need you to lie on your stomach.”

Rooster’s eyes snap upwards when she speaks, “What?”

Beatrice looks over her shoulder, holding something in her hands with her back still bent forwards and brown hair framing her face, falling down to the side, “Lie on your stomach, Roos.” she blinked those green eyes and her long lashes seemed to flutter, “Please?”

God damn it. 

She sounded so sweet and she looked so fine that he just did as she asked,lying on the middle of the bed with his face nestled on the pillows they kept in the center - between his side and hers’ - folding his arms under his chin as he waited for her steps to come back. She does get closer, the mattress dipping when she climbs up using her knees, then he feels her soft thighs on his hips and her butt touching the back of his legs, “Comfortable?” she asks and he has to lift his head to check what was happening back there.

He noticed two things: she had a small bottle in her hands and she was no longer wearing shorts, showing that lilac lace he loved so much, “...I am great, are you comfortable?” his eyes never left her bare lower body, the way the lace went up and almost framed her hips was a sin.

“I’m very comfortable, Roos.” she smiles, tapping his lower back, ‘Head back down, please.”

“But I wanna look–” she just gives him a knowing gaze, which in turn makes him sigh and turn his head away with a pout. Beatrice giggles from behind him, adjusting herself on his thighs - which honestly were just so big and strong - combing all her hair to the side and biting her lower lip as she looked down at his broad back. Rooster waited, hearing the ‘pop’ of the plastic bottle being open and then closed, before the obvious sound of hands rubbing together followed. “Baby are you going to give me a massaaaaOooohhh my God.”

Beatrice laughed softly as she pressed her hands right between his shoulder blades where she felt the knot earlier, pushing her palm heel in a circular motion over the tense area. Rooster’s groan reminded her of a lot of other things less than pure,  his hands sliding from under his head to clench the sheets under him, “How’s it so far?” she questions the same Bourbon & Vanilla body oil already being absorbed by his skin.

“Jesus Christ, it’s great.” he moans, clenching his eyes when she find another knot, the deep sound breaking past his mouth and vibrating against the mattress. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a massage, especially one so good like that. He heard one of his joints pop and a sudden relief darted all over his body, “Jesus- where did you even learn this?”

“Internet.” followed by another joint popping and another groan breaking out of him, “I’ve been planning to do this for a while now and I thought it’d be more than fitting-” another knot, another sensuous deep moan, “To do it now.”

“Ooohh…God…I’m not complaining!” he hissed this time, the experience was good but she found a very sore spot on his lower back, being extra careful with her movements and not adding so much pressure. Beatrice apologizes for going too hard, then warns him she is going to add just a bit more force. Bradley clenches his teeth, the pain getting worse and worse until it was completely gone and he breathed out in relief, “Fuck.”

“You still with me?”

“God,I’m never leaving you.’ he blurts out, “Fuckin’ swear it.” Beatrice’s lips part in surprise but she just smiles before continuing, earning another row of groaning and moaning from his part. She was glad she was able to do a good job, he was very tense and his back was looking painful because of how many knots were there. Now there was nothing left, she was just rubbing his back because she wanted to, the oil was already embedded in his skin after all. 

“We’re done.” she says, watching his shoulders drop with a sigh before she puts her hands on his butt to slide off of his legs, “You have such a nice butt, did I ever tell you that?” but his only response was a weak chuckle, feeling like butter melting on top of pancakes at how soft he was “Are you ready for more?”

More?

Rooster slowly lifted his head back and looked over his shoulder, and this time she had only her panties on, waiting patiently while sitting on her knees with her hands on top of her thighs, “Yeah.” he quickly, or as quick as he could, turned on his back and the whole massage surely did wonders all over his body…as the obvious tent on his boxers was any answer. Beatrice slowly dragged her eyes from his red boxers to his face, biting her lower lip with a smile, the way her hair was combed hid nothing from his view and he was more than happy to see it.

“Okay Lieutenant.” his pupils blew wide the second she said it, “Permission to take your boxers off, sir?”

Holy Shit.

“Fuck, permission granted.” his voice replied once he found it deep within his throat, following Beatrice’s movements with his eyes, fighting back a pleased groan when her nails gently scratched over his hip bones on the way of curling her fingers around the elastic of his underwear. Once she tosses it aside, she stands by the edge of the bed, much for his confusion, but then his mouth runs dry when she curls her thumbs on the lace elastic of her own underwear.

“Permission to take mine off, sir?”

He almost choked on air, nodding, then suddenly remembering he had to speak, “Permission granted. Permission fuckin’ granted.” she was getting more and more comfortable with her sensuality and he couldn’t be more thankful about it. She was sexy as fuck, he was just happy she could finally see it more often. Beatrice giggles, tugging down her panties until she kicks them away, returning to the bed but not climbing over him, “Whatever you are planning you have my full permission.” he says quickly, dropping his large hands on her thighs, trying to pull her forward but she just smiles.

“I’m happy to know that.” she says quietly, but doesn’t move when he tugs her forward, “Because I did mention I’d pamper you didn’t I?”

“Yeah…” he immediately lets go of her thighs when she makes a move forward, kissing his neck, then down his chest, then each one of the bumps in his six pack until she reaches her destination. And he almost loses it right there, “Fuck, baby…are you going to suck me off?” she nods, lolling her tongue out of her mouth so she could lick the underside of him, earning a quiet hiss from the pilot. He wanted to keep his head up and watch her, but it was too much and her mouth was just magical.

His body felt very relaxed, in many ways, so it seemed that he could feel everything with an intensity turned on extreme. She was so good at this, he could barely focus on anything else, until his eyes landed on her hips and ass, his breathing ragged with an idea forming, “Bea,” he calls in between moans, licking his lips when she didn’t stop, so he had to place a hand behind her head, tucking a few strands of brown behind her ear, “Baby.” she stops with him still in her mouth, a scene which makes a full body shudder dart all over him, “I got…an idea.”

She pops him out, a thin string of saliva connecting her lips to the flushed tip, “An idea?”

Bradley’s eyes were glazed over, so black they looked like the night sky without stars, “Mhm…c’mere,” she furrows her brows, letting go from his member to move forward, but he shakes his head, “No, other way.” Beatrice pauses, translating what he meant took a few seconds but once she figured it out her face turned a violent shade of red.

“I-I, Brad,I-I don’t…um…”

“You wanna pamper me…there’s no better pampering than eating you out,gorgeous.” he was staring at her so intently, “So you can…bring your beautiful self right here,” she hesitates, her bold and sexy persona melting back on her shy nervous self as she wrings her hands together.

“But…that’s your face.”

“Yes,I know gorgeous and I want you to sit on it, so,” he’s almost in a hurry, “C’mere,”

“But what if I hurt you?” Bradley just keeps his eyes on her, lifting his hands so they land on the flare of her hips, clutching the plush flesh and dragging her forward before she could stop him. Beatrice squeaks, the subtle burn of the sheets against her legs making her wince, “Brad…are you sure?”

He inhales deeply, licking his lips, “Gorgeous.” he begins, “You are never going to hurt me. All I want is to have that pretty thing between your legs right on my mouth.” her cheeks get even redder, “I’ll be away from you for six months, gorgeous. And you said you’d pamper me.”

“Well, y-yes but I thought–” she knew, just from his eyes there was no way she’d change his mind…so she had to think about something else…and when she did she felt she’d turn into a puddle of Beatrice goo, “Well…there is a way to um…do both, i-if you want.”

And Bradley swears he sees stars when she suggests it, nodding silently and watching with his lids low as she slowly and nervously climbs over his chest with her back to him. If he was to die right now, he’d be more than happy because that view was better than Heaven itself, “Fuck your ass is so fucking nice.” Beatrice bites her lower lip, clenching her eyes for courage - this was something new that she never tried before and she hoped she wouldn’t mess it up. Her form straightened until he felt her breasts on top of his hip bones and her hot breathing back on his cock, “You can return to the process, recruit. I’ll be busy with something else.”

“Already–ah!” of course it was then and now. Beatrice tried to regain her bearings, but it was incredibly hard when your boyfriend has his tongue so deep inside you. She whimpered, clenching the sheets under the two, his huge hands were on each butt cheek, squeezing the soft flesh almost to signal she could go on. And so, after a few minutes, she did.

And that moment the moan that darted from his mouth into her core evolved into a domino effect that neither could stop. The vibrations from both of their mouths added a new level of pleasure in this whole thing, something Beatrice didn’t think it’d be possible. She was still blushing so hard, this whole position was filthy and yet so deliciously perfect for them…and pleasurable, extremely pleasurable. 

Beatrice’s movements tried to follow his, but it was a bit hard to concentrate when he was so good with his mouth. She had to stop a few times to breathe and regain her focus, trying to not think just of herself and how she wanted to grind against his face. It wasn’t until his movements started getting erratic, with his hips stuttering that he suddenly stopped his tongue, “Bea,-Bea stop..!Stop.!”

“W-What happened? A-Are you okay?” she asks as soon as she pops him out again, breathing heavily and she almost laughed how she couldn’t see him besides the top of his hair…damn she really did have a big butt, she never really noticed it.

“I just don’t…wanna cum yet…” he says between breaths. Beatrice nods, pushing herself to her hands and trying to scoot away but his arms lock around her waist, “Where are you going?”

She blinks back at him in surprise, “I-I…you said you didn’t…want to cum yet.”

“Yeah. I didn’t. You on the other hand, that’s a completely different story.” and his hand swoops down to slap her left ass cheek, the perfect red handprint marking the pale skin as she whines, falling back on her elbows with her face pressed on the jutting of his hip bone, warm breathing fanning over his wet - and Bourbon Vanilla smelling - skin. He tightens his arms around her waist,pulling her closer to  his face where he continued what he was doing as if nothing happened.

Beatrine moans brokenly, a sharp whine of his name followed by her nails digging on the light blue sheets. The pressure inside got stronger, there wouldn’t be much for her to hold back, her moaning getting louder and louder, being only muffled by his lower body, “Brad…God, Brad!!!” honestly he’s a bit thankful about their room not being as furnished either, because that scream as she orgasms just reverberates around them like a symphony. She cries quieter, her hips shivering and her breathing is hiccuped, sharply inhaling it when he slaps the opposite cheek.

Beatrice’s back moves with her erratic breathing, having half a mind to lift herself from his face and fall back on the bed, her blurry vision looking up at the ceiling, trying to remember where she was, “Baby?” his hoarse voice calls, she barely notices him sitting up to look at her, he’s all blurry too, “You good?”

She nods shakily, lower body still shivering with aftershocks, “A-Are you?” When her vision finally clears up, she sees him wipe his chin and mouth, licking his hand while meeting her eyes.

“I’m fucking great.” he smirks, “You up for round two?” Beatrice doesn’t even wait too long, she’s immediately sitting up, her face and chest flushed a beautiful shade of red. Since her body was still recovering from the first orgasm of the night, because she knew there’d be a second - maybe a third one - he was able to bring her with him when he lay back down, making her straddle his lap.

“But…” she has her hands on his chest for support, “I was j-just on top of you.”

“I like you on top of me.” he says, rubbing his hands up and down her waist and hips, still tasting her in his mouth. “In several ways.” Beatrice’s eyes become more alert as she is finally easing down her first orgasm, laughing quietly at him. She bites her lower lip, then lifts herself just enough for him to align and slowly push forward. Her channel was still sensitive, so she couldn’t help the loud cracked moan that goes past her lips when he hilts, his own throat vibrating with a deep one that seemed to shake the walls, “Fuck…oh fuck.”

Beatrice opens her eyes to look at him, only to see his eyes already on her, “Yeah?” she couldn’t even finish the question of ‘are you okay?’ choosing that only a questioning ‘yeah’ would be enough and she hoped he understood.

“Yeah.” he did. He did and clasped his hands on her hips again, watching her beautiful body just move slowly on top of him, like a wave, with her smaller hands on his pectorals for support. He bites his lower lip when her head tilts back, her mouth opening in another moan, “Fuck you are so….fucking beautiful…” he whispers, “I can’t never get enough of you…my God.”

Bea leans her head forward again, brown hair falling around the two like a halo, her pink lips glossy and flushed, “Brad…”

“I’m going to miss you so much.” he says, his own hips moving upwards to meet hers, “Six fucking months will be…torture…”

“I…I am going to send you something, so you won’t miss me too much.” comes her soft reply, followed by a cheeky little grin that he wasn’t even expecting. But just the thought of Beatrice sending him pictures so he’d have her in his thoughts - which he always had - was firing him up even more.

“Yeah?” she nods, still smiling, “You have something planned, baby?”

Beatrice nods again, this time biting her lower lip with a moan breaking her line of thought, closing her eyes “Y-yeah…God, Brad…” she whispers, not really noticing what she was about to do now, it was all about instinct, “You feel so good inside of me…” she meant to say it in Italian, like last time, but she didn’t. And that made her boyfriend stare up with wide eyes and jaw slack, “I don’t…you ruined…e-everything else for me.”

Bradley couldn’t believe what he was hearing, his shy girlfriend - who was now slowly gaining more confidence within the bedroom - was openly saying things he never heard her say before, “Yeah?” she nods mutely, furrowing her eyebrows with her lip back into her mouth, “You going to miss my cock, gorgeous? Huh?”

“I-I’m going to miss all of you Brad.”

It wasn’t the reply he expected, but it was one he liked nonetheless. Wraps his arms around her waist so they are chest to chest, their open mouths never joining in a kiss, just breathing hard into one another, “Me too, gorgeous…fuck me too…” his hips moved faster upwards, “I’m goin’ to miss all of you, every,” thrust, “Single,” another one, “Part.” yet another, but this one was deep enough to make Bea gasp out her moan, almost if her air was knocked out, “I’m goin’ to think of this when I’m gone. Think of how sweet you fuckin’ sound, how good you take me and how wet you are.”

She whines again, dropping her head to his shoulder, with her hands curling into fists on top of his chest, “Then I’m going to come back and we’ll repeat this,” he says between harsh breaths, “Christen every single room in this house like I told you to. Fuck you in every surface we have, watch you suck me off again with that pretty mouth of yours.” her channel clenched around him in response, “You like sucking me off, like the good recruit you are. You just want to make your superior proud, don’t you,pretty girl?”

“Yeah…” Rooster wasn’t going to last long, so the moment his hips pistoned upwards to meet hers- and Beatrice’s moans got choppy and broken - he could feel the pressure building, ready to snap. “Braad!!” her nails dig deeply into his shoulders, her whimpering and moaning, followed by his own deeper groaning and the sound of skin slapping got even louder. He felt sorry for their new neighbors honestly. “Brad!I-I’m going to c–” she doesn’t finish her sentence because her second orgasm hits with even more force than before, her legs lifting from the bed with her toes curling and her scream being muffled by his shoulder.

His own hips stutter again, following after his own release until he finally explodes. His deep moan isn’t muffled like hers, instead he hears his own voice coming back to him with the echo as his hips push upwards a few more times until he’s literally spent. One of his hands leave her waist to cup the back of her head, their heavy breathing replacing the sound of their lovemaking minutes ago, “Fuck.”

“We just did.” she replies and they both meet gazes. Slowly, but surely her giggle and his soft laugh evolve into full on laughing, their foreheads touching and cheeks hurting from laughing so much. It wasn’t even that funny, but that wasn’t the point, it was about their connection that now was so much stronger than before.

Eventually the laughter died down to quiet chuckling, until it was silent again. Rooster’s smile doesn’t falter and his eyes dart all over her face as if he wanted to keep her to memory, lifting the other hand at her waist to rub her cheek “...I’m really going to miss you.”

Bea’s gaze softens, turning her head to kiss his palm, then lean into it, “I’m going to miss you too.” she whispers, “Just be careful, okay?”

“I will.” he replies, still rubbing her cheek. He sighs, dropping a kiss to the top of her head, closing his eyes to keep the lavender scent into memory, “You too, okay? Call Michael to stay with you if you need.”

“Okay.” was her quiet response, her eyes shining with tears and pure adoration, but she doesn’t cry, she just smiles wider at him, “I love you Roos.”

“I love you too, gorgeous.”

Marry me, he thinks. Marry me.

I will. she thinks back. I will.

And neither of them knew.

[orlissa]

Women in the Golden Age of Comics (1938-1956)

I promised @mercurygray a little overview some time ago, so here we go:

The first thing that we would consider a comic book today was published in 1934 (Famous Funnies #1); the early comics only featured reprinted materials from newspaper strips, but soon new comics were commissioned especially for comic books

The first superhero comic was published in 1938 (Adventure Comics #1, it featured Superman on the cover, and the first Superman story inside, which was only 13 pages long. The creators, high school buddies Joe Shuster and Jerry Siegel, who had been working on different versions of the character since 1932/3, were paid $130 for it)

Most comics during these days were anthologies, featuring several shorter stories in several, very different genres (superhero, western, talking animals, etc.) usually on 64 pages; most of them featured at least one story with a female lead to, presumably, attract female audiences.

Everyone was reading comics. “[A]n average of two to three comics per week were read by over 90 percent of six- to eleven-year-olds, 84 percent of twelve- to seventeen-year-olds, and 35 percent of those eighteen and older. In each age group, the numbers of males and females reading comics were roughly equal.”

But working on comics was uncool. If you wanted to be taken seriously as a writer/illustrator, you didn’t really want it to be known that you have worked on comics (e.g Stan Lee’s real name was Stanley Lieber; he started working at Marvel—then known as Timely Comics at 17, and, wanting to be a serious writer one day, he decided not to use his real name for his comics). Academically this is a problem, since many, many comics from this era are uncredited.

Also, many of the early comic book creators were Jewish (often second generation immigrants), so comics were pretty quick on condemning Hitler/WWII. The cover of the first issue of Captain America featured him punching Hitler a year before the USA entered the war.

Okay, so, female characters in this era! There were many of them, but most of them never got their own book, were only featured in a few anthology issues, and were soon forgotten. Mike Madrid puts them into four categories: the Debutantes, the Partners, the Victory Girls, and the Glamour Girls

Debutantes: usually bored heiresses who practice vigilantism for the thrill of it, and to find personal freedom through it.

Phantom Lady (1941): society girl Sandra Knight, who fights spies and criminal using “a blinding black light that renders her foes helpless,” while wearing what’s essentially a yellow swimsuit. She never wears a mask, and yet her senator father and her fiancé, Don, never recognize her.

Spider Widow, Grandmother of Terror (1942): another society girl, Dianne Grayton, who wears a hideous witch mask, long black dress, and a floppy hat, to literally scare her foes into submission

Miss Fury (1941): SUPER IMPORTANT! The first superheroine to be written by a woman (June Tarpé Mills), and one of the first to get her own series. Marla Drake is also a reluctant hero: when preparing for a masquerade ball she learns that another girl is about to wear the same dress as her, she puts on a leopard skin attire that her uncle got her from an African witch doctor—which then gives her powers. She gets attacked on her way to the party, defends herself, and then gets into a whole bunch of misunderstandings that gets her fighting Nazis and spies, not really because she wants to, but because she needs to protect her reputation.

Lady Luck (1940): Brenda Banks, a “modern lady Robin Hood,” who uses her jiu-jitsu and marksmanship skills to fight crime while wearing a wide-brimmed hat and a veil to cover her face.

Partners: lesser appendages of already established male heroes

Shiera/Hawkgirl (1941)—Hawkman’s girlfriend, there is not much to say

Doris Lee—Starman’s sweetheart; Owl Girl—The Owl Rocketgirl—Rocket Man; Doll Girl—Doll Man; always girls, never women.

Mary Marvel—the exception. Captain Marvel’s sister (okay, this is where it gets confusing: this Captain Marvel is who we know today as Shazam. He was published by Fawcett, who then were sued by DC because they said Captain Marvel was too similar to Superman, then Fawcett eventually went under, DC bought to rights for the character, but by then Marvel had their own Captain Marvel—Mar-Vell, in whose story Carol Danvers was a supporting character in the late 60s, who then would go on to star in her own title Ms. Marvel in 1977, and then would become Captain Marvel in 2012, while the Ms. Marvel title was taken up by Kamala Khan in 2014. I know.). You know, the kid who yells Shazam!, and turns into an adult superhero. He shared his powers with his friends, who then became characters like Captain Marvel Jr. and Lieutenant Marvel. But when he shared his power with his twin sister Mary, she 1, turned into a slightly older version of herself instead of an adult and 2, was simply named Mary Marvel. But she was cute and popular and got her own series.

The Victory Girls—women from all walks of life who usually take a double role in the war effort; some regular job during the day, and superheroing during the night

I mean, there were a bunch of patriotic superheroes already: Captain America, Captain Victory, Yankee Eagle, Fighting Yank, Captain Flag, Minute Man, Flag Man, The Shield, etc.

Joan Dale—ordinary reported granted powers by the Statue of Liberty to become Miss America

Joan Wayne—DC stenographermoonlighting as “dreaded bundle of female dynamite” Miss Victory

Linda Turner—Black Cat, Hollywood starlet destroying nazi spy rings to defeat boredom

Pat Parker—War Nurse; nurse during the day, masked hero during the night

Sylvia Manners—Black Angel, masquerading as a frail girl living with her aunt in the English countryside, she is actually a ruthless aviatrix, shooting Nazi planes off the sky

Glamour Girls: since these are post-WWII, I don’t really wanna get into the details. Basically: noir-inspired, darker and grittier, with more emphasis on sex appeal. Basically more for the male gaze at this point.

Not categorized, but Madrid also mentions them:

The Woman in Red—thought to be the first female crime fighter in comics, who wore a sweeping scarlet cloak with a matching mask and skullcap

Fantomah—“a beautiful blonde protectress of the jungle,” who would turn into a terryfing skull-faced goddess in trouble

Madam Fatal—actually a guy, retired stage actor Richard Stanton dressed as an old lady

Red Tornado—Ma Hunkel, a burly working class mother with a cooking pot over her head

And of course Wonder Woman, created by William Moulton Marston in 1941. Marston’s WW is a whole another can of worms I do not want to open now (I can literally fill a 90 minute lecture with Marston)

Some creators—well, there wasn’t many, especially not in the superhero business (just to get a taste: in 1972, Marvel wanted to publish three series aimed at women, written by women, but they had no women on stuff, so they gave the job to the wives of three staff members.

Marjorie Henderson Buell (1904-1993), credited as Marge, creator of the strip Little Lulu (1935-1944)

Edwina Dumm (1893-1990), cartoonist suffragist, the first full-time female editorial cartoonist, creator of the comic strip Cap Stubbs and Tippie (1918-1966)

Dalia “Dale” Messick (1905-2005), comic strip artist, creator of Brenda Starr Reporter (1940-1980), a reflection of herself

June Tarpé Mills (1912-1988), creator of Miss Fury, one of the first female comic book artists, who had a background in fashion. She both wrote and drew Miss Fury, and, fun fact, in 1943 she once draw Miss Fury in such a tiny bikini made of leaves that 37 newspapers cancelled the strip at once (most sources say it was because the outfit was too revealing, but given that she has an apple in one hand and snake around the other, I’d say the reason was blasphemy.

EDIT: I totally forgot: after WWII superheroes went out of fashion, and only a few characters remained in publication. Instead there were horror and true crime comics (which were mostly read by returning GIs, and which would lead to a moral panic over comic in a couple of years) and romance comics for the women. The first romance comic, Young Romance #1 (1947) was created by Joe Simon & Jack Kirby, the creators of Captain America. Even Wonder Woman took on a romance-approach under Robert Kanigher, who took over writing the character in 1947, after the death of Marston.

Bibliography/Recommended reading:

Cocca, Carolyn: Superwomen: Gender, Power, and Representation Gomez, Betsy (ed.): She Changed Comics: The Untold Story of the Women Who Changed Free Expression in Comics Howe, Sean: Marvel Comics: The Untold Story Madrid, Mike: Divas, Dames, & Daredevils: Lost Heroines of the Golden Age of Comics Madrid, Mike: The Supergirls: Fashion, Feminism, Fantasy, and the History of Comic Book Heroines

[papermoonloveslucy]

LIZ LEARNS TO SWIM

June 11, 1950

“Liz Learns To Swim” is episode #92 of the radio series MY FAVORITE HUSBAND broadcast on June 11, 1950 on the CBS Radio Network. 

Synopsis ~ George makes a bargain with Liz: If she'll learn to swim, they can go to the beach with the Atterburys for their vacation.

“My Favorite Husband” was based on the novels Mr. and Mrs. Cugat, the Record of a Happy Marriage (1940) and Outside Eden (1945) by Isabel Scott Rorick, which had previously been adapted into the film Are Husbands Necessary? (1942). “My Favorite Husband” was first broadcast as a one-time special on July 5, 1948. Lucille Ball and Lee Bowman played the characters of Liz and George Cugat, and a positive response to this broadcast convinced CBS to launch “My Favorite Husband” as a series. Bowman was not available Richard Denning was cast as George. On January 7, 1949, confusion with bandleader Xavier Cugat prompted a name change to Cooper. On this same episode Jell-O became its sponsor. A total of 124 episodes of the program aired from July 23, 1948 through March 31, 1951. After about ten episodes had been written, writers Fox and Davenport departed and three new writers took over – Bob Carroll, Jr., Madelyn Pugh, and head writer/producer Jess Oppenheimer. In March 1949 Gale Gordon took over the existing role of George's boss, Rudolph Atterbury, and Bea Benaderet was added as his wife, Iris. CBS brought “My Favorite Husband” to television in 1953, starring Joan Caulfield and Barry Nelson as Liz and George Cooper.  The television version ran two-and-a-half seasons, from September 1953 through December 1955, running concurrently with “I Love Lucy.” It was produced live at CBS Television City for most of its run, until switching to film for a truncated third season filmed (ironically) at Desilu and recasting Liz Cooper with Vanessa Brown.

REGULAR CAST

Lucille Ball (Liz Cooper) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon.

Richard Denning (George Cooper) was born as Louis Albert Heindrich Denninger Jr., in Poughkeepsie, New York. When he was 18 months old, his family moved to Los Angeles. Plans called for him to take over his father's garment manufacturing business, but he developed an interest in acting. Denning enlisted in the US Navy during World War II. He is best known for his  roles in various science fiction and horror films of the 1950s. Although he teamed with Lucille Ball on radio in “My Favorite Husband,” the two never acted together on screen. While “I Love Lucy” was on the air, he was seen on another CBS TV series, “Mr. & Mrs. North.”  From 1968 to 1980 he played the Governor on “Hawaii 5-0″, his final role. He died in 1998 at age 84.

Bea Benadaret (Iris Atterbury) was considered the front-runner to be cast as Ethel Mertz but when “I Love Lucy” was ready to start production she was already playing a similar role on TV’s “The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show” so Vivian Vance was cast instead. On “I Love Lucy” she was cast as Lucy Ricardo’s spinster neighbor, Miss Lewis, in “Lucy Plays Cupid” (ILL S1;E15) in early 1952. Later, she was a success in her own show, "Petticoat Junction” as Shady Rest Hotel proprietress Kate Bradley. She starred in the series until her death in 1968. Gale Gordon (Rudy Atterbury) had worked with Lucille Ball on “The Wonder Show” on radio in 1938. One of the front-runners to play Fred Mertz on “I Love Lucy,” he eventually played Alvin Littlefield, owner of the Tropicana, during two episodes in 1952. After playing a Judge in an episode of “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” in 1958, he would re-team with Lucy for all of her subsequent series’: as Theodore J. Mooney in ”The Lucy Show”; as Harrison Otis Carter in “Here’s Lucy”; and as Curtis McGibbon on "Life with Lucy.” Gordon died in 1995 at the age of 89.

Ruth Perrott (Katie, the Maid) was also later seen on “I Love Lucy.” She first played Mrs. Pomerantz (above right), a member of the surprise investigating committee for the Society Matrons League in “Pioneer Women” (ILL S1;E25), as one of the member of the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League in “Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress” (ILL S3;E3), and also played a nurse when “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” (ILL S2;E16). She died in 1996 at the age of 96.

Bob LeMond (Announcer) also served as the announcer for the pilot episode of “I Love Lucy”. When the long-lost pilot was finally discovered in 1990, a few moments of the opening narration were damaged and lost, so LeMond – fifty years later – recreated the narration for the CBS special and subsequent DVD release.

Gale Gordon (Rudolph Atterbury) is not in this episode, but is mentioned by Iris. 

GUEST CAST

Hans Conried (Benjamin Wood, Liz’s Swim Instructor) first co-starred with Lucille Ball in The Big Street (1942). He then appeared on “I Love Lucy” as used furniture man Dan Jenkins in “Redecorating” (ILL S2;E8) and later that same season as Percy Livermore in “Lucy Hires an English Tutor” (ILL S2;E13) – both in 1952. The following year he began an association with Disney by voicing Captain Hook in Peter Pan. On “The Lucy Show” he played Professor Gitterman in “Lucy’s Barbershop Quartet” (TLS S1;E19) and in “Lucy Plays Cleopatra” (TLS S2;E1). He was probably best known as Uncle Tonoose on “Make Room for Daddy” starring Danny Thomas, which was filmed on the Desilu lot. He joined Thomas on a season 6 episode of “Here’s Lucy” in 1973. He died in 1982 at age 64.

This begins Conried’s history of playing Lucy’s instructors. Percy Livermore taught her grammar; Professor Gitterman taught her singing and acting. 

Herb Vigran (Filling Station Attendant) made his "I Love Lucy” debut as Jule, Ricky’s music agent, in “The Saxophone” (ILL S2;E2) in 1952 and immediately returned in “The Anniversary Present” (ILL S2;E3) to play the same character. He will also play Mrs. Trumbull’s nephew Joe, the washing machine repairman, in “Never Do Business With Friends” (ILL S2;E31) and Al Sparks, the publicist who turns Lucy and Ethel into Martians, in “Lucy is Envious” (ILL S3;E23). Vigran also played the man who sold Lucy and Desi The Long, Long Trailer (1953) and returned to work for Lucy in six episodes of "The Lucy Show” between 1963 and 1966. He died in 1986.

EPISODE TRIVIA

The day before this episode aired, Lucy and Desi were in New York City on their ‘vaudeville tour’ designed to try-out material for “I Love Lucy” and prove to the networks that they had good chemistry together. There they appeared on “The United Cerebral Palsy Telethon” hosted by Milton Berle and aired on NBC. 

The script for “Liz Learns To Swim” was basically a remake of “Vacation Time” (aka “A Trailer Vacation To Goosegrease Lake” broadcast on April 29, 1949.  

Unlike many episodes of “My Favorite Husband,” “Liz Learns To Swim” has no corollary on “I Love Lucy,” although certain situations and dialogue will be familiar to viewers. 

EPISODE

ANNOUNCER: “As we look in on the Coopers tonight, summertime is fast approaching and Liz has roused her self from spring fever long enough to go on a shopping spree for some beach clothes.”

As the episode begins, Liz is showing Katie the Maid what she has bought for her summer vacation, including a skimpy swimsuit.  

LIZ: “I want to look good for George. He’s going to see a lot of me this summer.” KATIE: “He’s not the only one!”  

In “Off To Florida” (ILL S6;E6) Ricky thinks Lucy’s new skimpy new swimsuit is for Little Ricky!

RICKY: “Hey, look, Ricky!  Mommy bought you a bathing suit.” LUCY: “That's mine!” RICKY: “Yours?!” LUCY: “Relax. It stretches when it's on.” RICKY: “See that it does!”

Lucy also buys a swimsuit that Ricky feels is too skimpy when shopping for their California trip in “Getting Ready” (ILL S4;E11). 

In looking over their daily mail, we learn that the Cooper’s live at 321 Bundy Drive. Liz gets something from Weeping Willow Ranch, where they spent last year’s summer vacation. It is not a place Liz is anxious to revisit.

LIZ: “One week there and you understand why the willows are weeping.” 

In “Vacation Time” from 1949 (the episode upon which this one is based) the resort was named Goosegrease Lake.

Lucy Carmichael visits a dude ranch called Tumbleweed Inn during a 1966 episode of “The Lucy Show.”

Liz wants to go to the beach with the Atterbury’s while George insists on going to the dude ranch. George agrees to go to the beach if Liz will first learn to swim. 

Adventure-Loving Lucy Ricardo swam in the chilly Med before pedaling to Nice in “Lucy’s Bicycle Trip” (ILL S5;E24). Fred calls her “the poor man’s Florence Chadwick” an American swimmer known for long-distance, open water swimming and the first woman to swim the English Channel in both directions, setting a record each time.  

Liz’s neighbor, Mr. Wood (Hans Conried), teaches her how to swim - without ever leaving the living room!  George is doubtful Liz can learn swimming without getting wet, so they agree to a test at the Country Club pool the next day. That night, Liz ‘swims in her sleep’ - nearly drowning!  

At the pool next day, Iris (Bea Benadaret) brings Liz some water wings to wear under her swimsuit and fool George. To inflate them, Iris drags Liz to a Filling Station to use their air pump. But the water wings burst, just like Iris’s plan. Iris thinks of a loophole: Liz never promised George she wouldn’t use help - so Iris darts home for one of Rudolph’s life jackets.   

Life jackets and Lucy Carter’s inability to swim were integral to “Lucy Rides The Rapids” (HL S2;E4), filmed on location on the Colorado River. 

Liz puts on the life jacket and dives into the pool. George agrees to take her to the beach - even though Liz failed to inflate Rudolph’s life jacket. She swam without help!  As soon as she realizes it, however....HELP!!!

HELP!!!  Lucy pretends not to be able to swim so that Ricky can pretend to save her, all to get the attention of gossip columnist Hedda Hopper in “The Hedda Hopper Story” (ILL S4;E21). 

Lucy and Anthony Newley tread water in the Thames River in “Lucy in London” (1966).

Lucy and Desi relaxing in their pool at home in the 1940s. 

[msirinashayk]

When the coronavirus pandemic hit New York in March 2020, Irina Shayk’s mother, Olga, was visiting from Russia, staying with the 35-year-old model and her three-year-old daughter, Lea, in Shayk’s West Village home. Many lockdowns and flight cancellations later, Olga finally left on December 2, 11 months after she had arrived.

“We were together constantly for almost a year, which meant I really built a different relationship with my mother,” says Shayk, who left Russia for Paris aged 20 before moving to New York just over a decade ago. “We had a couple of crazy times when we would get angry about things, but she was able to help with my daughter for all the time the schools were closed.” And it was, she says, enlightening to be living as three generations of women in one house, all speaking Russian (Olga doesn’t speak any English, but Shayk speaks to her daughter only in Russian, so Lea is fluent). “It took me back to my own childhood and living with my parents. I miss her again now that she has gone,” Shayk admits. “And my daughter misses her too.”

I’ve met Shayk twice before, most recently in the summer of 2018, but have always found her something of an enigma. By which I mean impenetrable. Having spent five years dating the most famous footballer in the world, Cristiano Ronaldo, then four years with the Hollywood actor Bradley Cooper, she is no stranger to media attention and has historically been reticent to divulge details of her life.

Today, however, things couldn’t feel more different. And not just because of the optics — I’m interviewing her in SoHo, New York, wearing two masks (double-masking is now officially recommended in America). But even the new protocols pale into insignificance beside the dramatic difference in Shayk’s demeanour. Beside me on the sofa, in a hoodie, leggings and long red socks, this is a warmer, softer, infinitely more open Shayk than I had expected. “In this pandemic we really start to appreciate human communication,” she says in her still idiosyncratic syntax. “We realise who our true friends are and which people have to be out of your life. For a lot of friends of mine it cleared up so many things for them, and so it is for myself.”

It was in June 2019, however, long before lockdown, that she split from Lea’s father, Cooper — a subject about which she has always remained tight-lipped, barely even acknowledging the relationship in interviews. Today, however, she refers to him numerous times. “Lea knows Daddy doesn’t speak Russian, so she translates from Russian to English for him sometimes,” she says. They co-parent equally and “our only priority is her happiness and that she is loved from both sides”.

“It’s really interesting to see the dynamic between her and me, and her and her dad,” she reveals. “It reminds me of when I was a child. Anything that my mum said, I would be, like, ‘Oh, Mama’s talking, whatever.’ And anything my dad would say, I’d be, like, ‘Oh, that’s … ’ ” She pulls a face of awe and admiration. “It’s like having a reflection. She’s a mini-me.”

One big difference, however, as Shayk readily admits, is that “my daughter is being raised in a different environment than I was. She’s never going to know what it is to open the fridge and you don’t have a meal or bread.”

Shayk grew up in the small Russian village of Yemanzhelinsk, and her coal miner father, Valery, died when she was just 14, leaving Olga, a classical pianist turned music teacher, to raise their two daughters alone. “We had to work in the garden all summer and save all the potatoes for winter,” Shayk says. “You got a ticket for milk and you had to stand in line for it. You had no washing machine, no dryer and no nanny, of course — my mum did it all herself.”

Shayk’s experiences of growing up poor and sometimes hungry in Russia were a large part of her motivation, when the effects of the pandemic began to bite in the late spring, to start volunteering at a food bank in the Bronx, where she and a group of friends still spend most weekends. “So many families depend on kids getting meals at school, and with schools closed and so many people losing their jobs it’s a huge problem,” she says. “I really wanted to give something back, especially when we have so much time on our hands.”

Her modelling ambitions were a means to an urgent end at first. After winning a local modelling contest she “worked specifically to get the money”. When she flew to Paris at the age of 20, “all I was thinking about was that I could maybe get some catalogue work and help my family”.

With her outrageously sizzling figure, however, she was soon modelling for lingerie brands including Intimissimi and Victoria’s Secret, and became the first Russian to grace the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. However, she says that specific sort of success can also become a hindrance. “In fashion people put a claim on you — ‘She’s swimsuit, she’s Sports Illustrated.’ And then people don’t want to touch you because they’re, like, ‘Oh, she’s too sexy,’ ” she tells me. “I heard so many people say, ‘You will never do that cover, you will never do that campaign.’ You learn to accept people saying no to you. And to not be discouraged.” She has now walked in 64 shows, had 114 magazine covers and appeared in 146 advertising campaigns over her 15-year career, gracing the catwalk for Versace, Givenchy, Rihanna’s Savage x Fenty, Valentino haute couture and many more.

Despite being a bona fide supermodel these days, mixing in the highest of high-fashion circles — she counts Burberry’s chief creative officer, Riccardo Tisci, as a close friend and recently fronted the brand’s pre-fall 2020 campaign (Lea, she tells me, has regular FaceTime calls with Tisci) and fellow supermodel Joan Smalls as part of her crew — there is little chance of Shayk losing her head to the glamour of it all. She comes from a long line of industrious women, including a grandmother who worked in intelligence for the Red Army at 19. “Women run the world, even though sometimes we’ll let the men think they do,” she says with a laugh. “In a Russian household man is the boss, but behind the boss there is the real boss. We have to be sneaky sometimes.”

I mention I’ve read somewhere that she thinks she might actually scare men. “I don’t even know how to say it in the right way to not discriminate man,” she says. “But there is something about a woman who has her own opinion, who has her own voice and who runs her life and her career. There is something fascinating for man and maybe a little scary.”

That notion doesn’t seem to bother her at all, though. “I never thought I needed a man in my life to be complete as a woman,” she says with a smile. “Maybe it’s something to do with losing my father at a young age and coping. Like, if I can live without my father since I was 14, I can live out there without any guy.” She does, she’s quick to clarify, “truly believe in the tradition of marriage. But do I go out there looking for a husband? Hell, no.” She laughs. “He had better find me on my sofa watching Netflix because I’m not going anywhere looking for him. I think it’s all about right timing and right person. If it’s going to come, I’m open for it.”

Is there any romance in her life right now? She throws back her head and lets out a long laugh. “I don’t know,” she says eventually. “I don’t think so. I just turned 35 and I’m discovering myself being free and really, truly doing what I want to do. And in a relationship, for me, it’s so important that you do things from love, not for love.” That’s very wise, I say. “You don’t have to shape or filter yourself for any guy out there,” she continues. “I had that in a relationship, and now, being single, I can step back and say, ‘This is who I am.’ Don’t change who you are for somebody out there, because that’s not going to work out.”

Maybe it’s the pandemic, maybe it’s motherhood, maybe it’s the transcendental meditation she has been practising for the past 18 months, but Shayk certainly seems in a settled, sorted place. Sometimes, she says, she gets so tired of not being able to see people’s faces in the pandemic that “when I put a mask on, I draw a smiley face on it, so people can see I’m smiling under the mask”.

I feel like drawing one on both of mine, just to let her know that I am too.

@mulkerrins

[beeboyofficial-blog]

Sorry for the unreadable handwriting and eyesore colors fgjfkh but I finally got around to coloring some old drawings of my peculiar OCs, and I wanted to post them More info about them under the cut!

Okay, so! Here we go Miss Seagull Age: Unknown Appearance: Stout woman with amber eyes, black and white hair, and olive skin. She wears a black-and-white dress with yellow buttons, pale yellow tights, yellow shoes, a yellow bandana, and a jacket that fades from black to white.  Peculiarity: Ymbryne- Time loop creation

Ezra Physical age: 15 Actual age: 102 Gender: Male Height: 4′8″ Appearance: Dark-skinned, pudgy boy with black hair, green eyes, and thick eyebrows. Wears an olive green suit jacket with a popped-up collar, an untied bowtie, a white dress shirt, black jeans, and gray shoes. Peculiarity: Navigation- Always knows exactly where he is, where he wants to go, and the route he needs to take to get there. Personality: Ezra is a mischievous child, who often tends to get himself in trouble. He has a drive to explore outside the loop despite knowing it’s dangerous, and will often push to see how far from the loop he can get before he needs to turn and go back. He tends to tease the others- especially Rocco- as well, though he means well. Brief bio: Ezra grew up wandering from town to town on his own for as long as he could remember, living on the streets and having to scavenge for food. He was found wandering near the loop by Miss Seagull and immediately taken in.

Rocco Physical age: 14 Actual age: 84 Gender: Male Height: 4′4″ Appearance: A darker-skinned boy with blond hair, and blue eyes. Wears a white lab coat, white dress shirt, black tie, white pants, and black shoes. Often has a stethoscope hung around his neck. Usually appears to be sleep-deprived and/or stressed. Personality: Rocco cares wholeheartedly about the others in the loop, albeit some more than others. He tends to worry easily, and stresses about the others keeping themselves healthy and unharmed. He’s a bit of a coward, but won’t hesitate to do what’s necessary in order to keep the others safe. He’d much rather save lives than take them. Peculiarity: Immunity to disease and radiation Brief bio: Rocco is the son of a Dutch army doctor and a Cameroonian soldier. He practically grew up on the sidelines of battlefields, assisting his father in healing the soldiers from an early age. It was hardly a task for a child, but Rocco was insistent on helping. He was forced to leave his family after they had been quarantined due to falling ill. He met Miss Seagull and, after taking a day to say goodbye to his family, agreed to live in the loop.

Sedna Physical age: 17 Actual age: 72 Gender: Female Height: 5′2″ Appearance: A girl with yellow eyes, grey-brown skin, patches of teal scales, gills, sharp teeth; short, black hair with a green-ish tint to it, and shaved on the sides. She often wears a darker teal swimsuit, preferably without shoes. Personality: Sedna is easily-excitable, and tends to be a bit of a snoop. She doesn’t have a good concept of personal space, and considers most people her friend until proven otherwise. She prefers to be close to water, and gets rather cranky when she isn’t allowed to go out to the pond in the back yard to swim with her fish. She has a short attention span and bad memory. Peculiarity: Aquatic respiration- The ability to breathe underwater Brief bio: Sedna grew up near a riverside town for the first few years of her life. She was happy living there for a long time, though the residents of the town were far from fond of her presence. She was often referred to as a little monster, though she believed it was a term of endearment. She met Miss Seagull after being carried away by the current and consequently washing ashore after a terrible storm. She has been happy living in the loop since.

Sindri Physical age: 12 Actual age: 64 Gender: Male Height: 4′1″ Appearance: A dark-skinned, dark-haired boy with blue-grey eyes. He wears a blue long-sleeved shirt, bright yellow overalls, black shoes, and yellow industrial-grade rubber gloves. Often has smudges of dirt and/or electrical burns on his face and clothing. Personality: Sindri likes to keep to himself, and usually busies himself with tinkering with machinery in order to deter others from approaching him. He rarely speaks, and when he does, he doesn’t say anything pleasant. He seems to constantly be in a bad mood, and has a rather sour attitude.  Peculiarity: Electrokinetic- The ability to produce and manipulate electricity. Brief bio: Sindri grew up living with his mother on a small farm. However, the thought of staying on that farm wasn’t too popular with Sindri. He didn’t want to spend his years there, so he ran away to live alone. After problems with the police arose from Sindri’s disappearance, he was taken in by Miss Seagull.

Zilah (warning for child abuse in her bio) Physical age: 9 Actual age: 70 Gender: Female Height: 3′9 Appearance: A tan little girl with copper-colored, curly hair and blue eyes. She wears a lavender dress and white shoes. She is often seen in the company of the shadow creatures she calls her friends. Personality: Zilah is a cheerful and clueless little girl. She cares very deeply about her friends, both shadow and human alike. She’s carefree and her main focus is often on having fun. However, she tends to say things that can be fairly unsettling, though she fails to realize that she can be a creepy kid. Peculiarity: Umbrakinetic/communication- Able to manipulate and speak with shadows. Brief bio: Zilah never lived much of a happy life up until living in the loop. Her parents were devout to their religion- to an unreasonable degree- and believed Zilah’s shadowed friends to be creatures of the devil. They tried countless times to rid their home of Zilah’s shadows and, on occasion, Zilah herself. The shadow Zilah considers to be her best friend, Maxie, had decided he’d had enough of Zilah’s treatment. In the dead of night, Maxie led Zilah away from her old home, and to Miss Seagull and Miss Hummingbird’s loop. She has been much happier in the loop than she had expected.

[recessanger91-blog]

What I’m Into: July 2018

Whew – we snuck this monthly favorites list in right before the door to July closed on us! With summer in full swing, I feel like I have only half as much time as I did in the fall and winter. But this month, I wanted to share some of my favorite new finds as well as some old favorites, so grab a peach iced tea (*wink to the Broken Record subscribers*) and don’t forget to share your favorite products from July in the comments!

Soapbox

It has been a total joy to follow this brand from its inception through a full rebrand, the results of which are obviously stunning. They sent me a press package last year and I have been sudsing up with their body wash and hair care on and off for months! My hair really likes it, the body wash is my current favorite (I suggest the Sea Minerals body wash to  e v e r y o n e), and there are tons of products I haven’t even tried yet!

This brand caught my eye because, while Soapbox has brutally high standards for their ingredients, the prices are incredibly reasonable. That bundle above, for example, is only $31.95 – for everything. That’s a hand soap, shampoo, conditioner, bar soap, and bodywash – for $32. Sort of a screamin’ deal.

Their packaging has undergone a major upgrade, and if you’re picky about your soaps and hair cleansing products, get ready for this laundry list of Soapbox ethical qualities:

Paraben-Free

Gluten-Free

Cruelty-Free

Vegan

Made in the USA

Many Fair-Trade ingredients

Sulfate-Free Shampoo

Recyclable Packaging

1-for-1 Charitable Donation through Clean the World

That last one is my favorite! 1-for-1 means that, with every soap purchase, Soapbox donates a bar of soap to someone in need. (Soap = Hope!) Soap is at the top of the list for many shelters around the country due to its constant use, and Soapbox focuses their efforts on domestic aid, which is something I haven’t seen very often among 1-for-1 brands.

Each bottle has a unique Hope Code that you can input into the Soapbox website to see exactly where the donation from your bottle of soap or hair stuff is going. You can find Soapbox products at Rite Aid and Walgreens all over the country. They’re even easy to find in my little, dumb, island town! If you see some on the shelves, pick it up, but if you don’t see it on your local shelves, don’t worry! It’s all on Amazon for you, as well as on the Soapbox website!

Timberland Earthkeepers

I’m always on the quest for good shoes. Currently, I have a very modest collection of less than 10 pairs of shoes which, if you knew me in my SPEND ALL THE MONEY days, should come as a shock. I think I topped out at 64 pairs of shoes, at one point. My closet looked like a robot Christmas tree lot with all of my shoe trees scattered around. It wasn’t good, and the shoes were mostly low quality (“affordable”) dress shoes that I wore to the job I hated. Starting B&B changed all of that, and raised my standards for “good shoes” about 5000%.

In desperate need of some summer shoes – for both staying cool in the heat and getting into trouble – I took to Poshmark. After a while, I noticed that the shoes in my “Likes” had a noticeable bias towards Timberland Earthkeepers, which I had absolutely never worn before. I knew of Timberland boots because, hi, I was alive in the 1990s and early 2000s. What I didn’t know was the scope of their designs, and how incredibly ethical this brand is trying to be.

Timberland Earthkeepers, specifically, use at least 50% recyclable materials. The leather (yes, real leather) is from a company that is rated Silver for improved energy, waste and water management. The fabric shaft is made with “Bionic canvas” which contains recycled PET (aka plastic bottles) and the rubber sole is also partially recycled! Considering this info was secondary to me falling in love with the shoes designs, I can say I’m pretty damn pleased with my newfound favorite shoe brand.

Timberland Earthkeeper Authentics Canvas Fold-Down Boots in Folkstone Grey

These were the first Timberland shoes I pulled the trigger on, and they single-handedly got me hooked on the brand. While these boots typically sell for around $100 brand new, the pair I found on Poshmark were in amazing condition for only $23. 

Sure, they had some loved spots and a couple minimal scuffs, but they were already broken in for me, and they look even better when they’ve been loved for a few months.

The leather part of these boots is a beautiful blue-grey color, and the canvas looks almost like linen. Another feature that is adorable, but that I regularly ignore, is that these boots are lined with a super cute, blue floral fabric, so if you’re the type that likes to flip the top of the boots down, there is an adorable design element built-in to help make that as cute as possible.

Timberland Earthkeeper Greenside Sandals

After losing my sandals in a pool-noodle stealing operation in Mexico, I was in desperate need for a pair that would withstand my shenanigans for 2018. That means they need to be well-made with high-quality materials, be easy to throw on and kick off, and go with everything from dress shorts to a swimsuit coverup. Luckily, Timberland Earthkeepers came to the rescue – again, via Poshmark.

After stumbling upon exactly one pair of these sandals, I knew I had to act fast. They are cute as hell, made with strong materials, have a slip-on back strap, and are extremely versatile. Unlike the boots, which had many styles and colors available in my size on Poshmark, these were a one-of-a-kind find, so I contacted the seller ASAP and haggled the price of these down to a measly $27.

In hindsight, I should have taken a picture of the soles because Timberland makes some tough-ass shoes. The soles of these sandals are nearly identical to the Timberland boots that I got. They look like they’re ready to carry you through a construction zone – with a kitten wedge.

Have you tried Timberland Earthkeepers? Am I late to this party? I’m already looking to expand my collection because the high heels and dress shoes in the Timberland collections are screaming my name!

2 Dope Queens

Mindy Tucker/HBO

If you’re not privy to this existentially funny duo, you better wise up. Jessica Williams and Phoebe Robinson are a comedians turned podcasters turned legendary show hosts, and their eponymous series on HBO just got renewed for four more hour-long specials!

These two women make me wish I lived 1,000 miles closer to my best friends. Each one of their shows is an intimate peek into not only their friendship, but what life is like as a black woman living in New York City. Speckled between Phoebe and Jessica’s hilarious banter and BFF-arguments are special guests. There are a handful of stand-up comics that get to present a small set, and each episode has a non-comedian guest that shows up just to chat with the girls and participate in a little activity. For example, they bring out a full brunch spread, complete with cocktails, before bringing out the Queen of Brunch herself, Sarah Jessica Parker, who is adorable. Together, the 2 Dope Queen educate a curious and eager SJP about the ins and outs of black hair. It’s a must-watch!

Sans Sucre Baking Mixes

No matter how many times I have tried to stay on a healthy eating streak, my sweet tooth always sabotages me. I can’t get rid of it! Moreover, I don’t really want to get rid of it. Not only do I love baking and desserts, but if I can’t spend this life indulging in delicious things, then what’s the point? Luckily, there are tons of products and brands who are trying to ease the tension between sweet teeth and healthy lifestyles. San Sucre is one of those brands and, if you speak even mild, back-of-the-food-label French, you can probably figure out why.

Sans Sucre makes quick and easy baking mixes that have no added sugar. This makes the nutrition facts on a box of brownies look less like fudgy indulgences and more like a small-to-medium granola bar. Recently, I made the Milk Chocolate Brownie mix (around $5 per box) and was pretty impressed with both how easy it was to make and how delicious they were once they were done!

These turned out so incredibly good for being only 80 calories per serving, and they were much lighter than your average full-fat, full-sugar brownie which can feel super heavy and dense. They required exactly three ingredients: the baking mix, water, and 2T of oil. Yes, two tablespoons of oil for an entire batch of no sugar added brownies. That good, very-brownie-like sweetness comes from Stevia! Could this be love?

In addition to brownies, you can find coffee cake mixes, cinnamon “sugar” sprinkles and even no-sugar-added fudge mixes! San Sucre also sent over all kinds of mousse and pie filling mixes, including (but most certainly not limited to): key lime pie, cheesecake, chocolate mousse, and lemon mousse. Plus, the mousse and filling mixes are no added sugar and low fat! So far, I’ve tried nearly all of the brownies they have to offer, but expect to hear from me again when I dive into these!

If you want to try some for yourself, you can find Sans Sucre baking mixes at lots of different stores, but grab them super easily from Amazon!

That’s it for me this month – now it’s your turn! What have you been loving in July?

Probably watching Netflix.

Source: http://brokeandbeautiful.com/2018/what-im-into-july-2018/

[fashiontrendin-blog]

3 Swimsuit Personalities I’m Considering for Summer

http://fashion-trendin.com/3-swimsuit-personalities-im-considering-for-summer/

3 Swimsuit Personalities I’m Considering for Summer

Look, I don’t care what this week’s rainy forecast says: I spent so much of New York’s extended winter waiting for warmer weather that I’ll take this May showers situation over snow any day. In fact, I’ll do you one better: I’m pretending the predicted rain is a lawn sprinkler, and the only reason I’m currently indoors is because I don’t know which swimsuit persona I want to lead with.

Below are the three potential poolside versions of me I’m still considering. Cast your vote in the comments and then tell me yours.

The Kind of Woman Who Replenishes Her 64-Pack of Crayola Crayons Once a Year

I think my impending college graduation has sparked an intense nostalgia to return to my five-year-old-self’s sartorial color scheme. By color scheme, I actually mean every color ever (as long as the saturation and vibrancy are on full-blast, that is).

This version of myself maximizes “summer fun” by way of effervescent bathing suits and accessories that look like candy. I picture myself splayed out across a jumbo flamingo-shaped pool floatie while wearing a shimmery turquoise one piece, bubblegum pink skinny shades and lucite earrings with a hue that’s reminiscent of a Luigi’s lemon Italian ice. Seems like the most jubilant way to soak up some vitamin D to me.

And just in case the jingle of a nearby ice cream truck were to sound, my candy-colored, waterproof (!) Susan Alexandra beaded bag and bright athletic slides would be waiting for me poolside — because who has time to strap on sandals when there’s an uneaten Firecracker popsicle at risk of melting?

The Kind of Woman Who has a Closet Full of Sundresses and an Instagram Feed Full of Flowers

I am tempted to spend the entire summer in Reformation-like sundresses, so it comes as no surprise that I’ve been gravitating toward equally frilly, often printed, décolletage-flattering bathing suits — exhibit A, B, and C. If you give a millennial a sundress — or a sunsuit, in this case — it won’t be long before a neutral-colored net bag, straw hat, perfectly chunky wooden sandals and a pair of statement sunglasses are in the mix. A tried and true hit on Instagram, all I would need is a picturesque beach and a patient friend to snap the photo.

The Kind of Woman Who Considers Herself to be a “Down to Mars Girl”

Summer whites are my summer essentials — as long as they’re kinda quirky. A few years ago, the combination of Tevas and a bucket hat would have prompted me to call the fashion police on myself, but this summer, the pairing is perfect. (That the hat and sandals are both in all-white is important; the monochromatic scheme adds a cool factor to these tourist-friendly accessories).

Dressed in all-white, this version of myself definitely has a flare for the futuristic; I envision myself lounging beside an infinity pool in a one-piece with circular cutouts, transparent sunglasses with lenses that seem capable of shooting laser beams, and a PVC bag large enough to store a UFO.

Okay, your turn!

Collages by Emily Zirimis.

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This grandmother looks too good to be 65

Vlogger Jake Ryan recently took to Twitter to wish his grandmother a happy birthday with a selfie. He even gave the photo a pretty hearts filter. Nothing out of the ordinary — except for the fact that no one actually believes the woman pictured is 65.

Today my granny is 65 ✨. Happy birthday granny. pic.twitter.com/opUzagEjcA

— JRA (@Thinkjakeryan) August 27, 2017

The selfie stirred up commentary on the gorgeous grandmother and the photo has been liked by nearly 1,000 people.

Grandma? pic.twitter.com/SyKlEZbiLL

— blkmrkt (@craaytonn) August 27, 2017

Black don’t crack foreal

— Dewan Payroda (@Fijiannn) August 28, 2017

Your granny looks like your sister! Beautiful

— D (@eenseD) August 27, 2017

Yooo stop lying! She is not 65!

— عائشة (@aishalove98) August 28, 2017

Ryan tells Yahoo Lifestyle that despite what the internet says, “she really is 65.” He says she is shy about her new internet fame. “She’s kind of timid about it, she’s not used to people knowing her age or what she looks like,” he says.

Grandma Jackie is a retired nurse and has two children and 3 grandchildren. Ryan says her secret to looking young is she “just really eats healthily. She doesn’t work out or anything.”

However, Ryan’s is not the only grandmother who has become a viral sensation thanks to her youthful looks. These other grandmothers are total knockouts for their age too.

Chavo Lotti confused thousands with these gardening photos of his 63-year-old grandmother this summer.

My grandma turned 63 yesterday.. shorty outchea glowing pic.twitter.com/N3mOtEYpoz

— Chavo Lotti (@ThatMick_Kray) June 25, 2017

Great-grandmother Zsakebaayo Hampton turned 100 in a beautiful white dress.

My girl 100th birthday partyyyyy Had to step out icey ❤️ pic.twitter.com/dHnKtRE0L1

— HITBICHGRILL (@_pretty_hustle) July 15, 2017

Who can forget the iconic Baddie Winkle, who at 88 can rock a daring red swimsuit?

It's lit!! ❤️❤️❤️feelin' fine in my @swimsuitsforall suit and an awesome couple of days ❤️❤️

A post shared by badddiiie ⛈ (@baddiewinkle) on Aug 13, 2017 at 12:37pm PDT

Or granny Wendy Ida, who is extremely fit for a 64-year-old and can put any 20-something to shame?

I am giving a peek into my Wendy World! Be sure to follow me on Twitter so you will be notified when I am periscoping. I will be up close and personal while giving you tips and more! Twitter.com/wendyida

A post shared by Wendy Ida (@wendyidafitness) on Mar 10, 2016 at 10:26am PST

These gorgeous ladies are definitely an inspiration for many.

Read more from Yahoo Lifestyle:

High schools are having ‘meme days’ and the costumes are incredible

Why homecoming dress shopping brought this teen to tears: ‘Because patriarchy’

This dad attempting to give his daughter curls is hilarious

The internet thinks this woman’s boyfriend is Michael Jackson

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