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arcadejohn127-9 · 4 years

Note

Could you do the Brothers and undatables reacting to MC being poisoned and finding out that Micheal was trying to kill them because he was jealous that MC was close with the brothers. Let me just say your work is great the way you describe the situation before going into the reactions is really interesting. Thank you so much!!!!

I already had this ask half way done but Tumblr decided to delete all my work due to buggy WiFi - I'm currently in pain 😭

I don't know much about poison so bare with me, I just looked at the basic symptoms and went "I'm smart" I've passed out after being ill or just in general quite a few times when younger so I had faith

This also has a bonus Michael part! I've decided to add his response to the boys reactions in its own format or else each one will just have a repeat of the same Michael Response

Warning: angst, implied vomitting, attempted murder, fainting, spoilers of lesson 37 and 16, gore on Michaels part, long

"from Michael...?" You questioned outloud, unsure on how to feel about the parcel you've found.

Your relationship with the angel wasn't a defined one. You didn't hate him but you didn't like him either; there was always something about his presence that made you fearful. You choked it up to be just internalised fear due to hearing the brothers experience of the celestial realm and angels.

You've never met him in person; the first conversation you had of him was when you stabbed yourself with the dagger instead of Lucifer. You saw the light and he spoke to you, surprised and shocked at the love you had for the demons. Even then you never really got to speak to him again, he was a mystery. You've sent a few letters and he's returned some and Simeon is a link between you two. But other than that? You didn't really have a relationship with him.

So why? Why would he send you a gift?

You looked inside to see a packet of apple pieces and herbs inside of a snack shaped teabag. You admired the unique shape and couldn't stop a small smile appearing. It was definitely cute! And you finally got to use the new kettle and cups barbatos got you.

You decided to text Simeon, telling him to thank Michael for your gift. He was surprised by this but agreed, happy you two were connecting.

Whilst your new tea brewed you were trying to figure out a way to repay his kindness. Sure it was simple small gift but he was reaching out - you were giddy! Hopeful this meant he was fully on board to the exchange program.

But you soon would regret drinking that tea. It was so sweet you couldn't stop drinking it; your lips only leaving the cup of a second of breath. It was addicting. The herb covered apples pieces gave it a nice slight bitterness. But it wasn't overbearing but didn't make it taste like sugar in your mouth.

As soon as the last gulp came down; something came up. You hunched over as your stomach churned, a disgusting taste forcing itself up your throat. Your vision growing blurry as you stumbled out of your seat, the light in your room feeling like knives to your eyes. You tried closing them but the effect didn't change. You were barely hunched over on your side releasing everything in your stomach. It stung your throat, your stomach feeling painfully empty.

There was this invisible feeling telling you to go to sleep. You wanted to obey but the light felt too painful. In your dazed state you shakily texted the groupchat a sloppy "help me ASAP, my room" before letting your body go limp, heaving as you just laid there, dragging a nearby jacket over your head and let your vision be consumed by the darkness.

Lucifer:

He's heart broken

How did this happen? You were fine and now you're not moving

Your breathing was faint against his neck as he held you

He saw the parcel and connected the dots, Eden's tea

It was a death sentence for any human, a treat for demons and a punishment for angels

He's started a war once, he can do it again

Whilst he knew he couldn't enter the celestial realm he demanded that Michael show himself

When his demands went unanswered, he was ready to break all rules

"He's gone too far, I don't care for his reasons! I WILL DESTORY THE CELESTIAL REALM IF I HAVE TO! HE WILL ANSWER ME!"

when you received a cure all his angers washed away with relief

Happy to have you awake again even if it was for a few moments

Mammon:

FLASHBACK ARE STRONG

All he can think about his how you looked like in the past; dying in his arms

He immediately went to blame belphie but almost tripped over the parcel

He's an idioit but he knew what this tea was

Becomes feral with rage and overly protective of your unconscious body

He's hunched over by your side at all times just growling at anyone who comes near you

He wanted to hurt Michael but he wanted to stay with you

He'd talk to you and tell you how he was going to get payback

"I should of known he'd do something-! I'll never forgive him- DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!!! I'M DOING THIS FOR THEM!"

As soon as you get the cure he's hugging you and telling you how much he missed you

Levithan:

When he found you, his heart dropped

It only got worse when he found the parcel and realized what Michael has done

he will remind the celestial realm why he is an admiral of hell's navy

He spends time by the sea communicating with any creature he can get; telling them if things go down he'll need them to flood the gates of heaven

When he isn't planning war he's with you, playing games, trying to ignore how dead you looked

He would remind you what buttons to push when your chatacter didn't move

"YOU THINK I'LL JUST LET THIS SLIDE??!! HE'S KILLED MY BEST FRIEND!"

He broke down sobbing when you woke up after getting a cure

He was convinced you were dead but here you were, alive and awake

Satan:

He's a detective nerd so of course he scoped out the scene

When he found the parcel and Michaels name - oh boy

Never met the man and pities him for letting their first meeting be the angels demise

It wasn't long before he had to be detained

Screaming and tearing up anything he could, yelling at his brother's for falling

He blamed his brothers, he blamed Michael and he blamed himself

Hated being locked away from you, would course more of a fuss when he couldn't see you

"I WILL KILL EVERY ONE OF YOU IF YOU DON'T LET ME GET TO THAT DAMN ANGEL!! I HATE YOU!"

He's only calmed down when you are given a cure and he's told you're alive

Is finally allowed to see you and he holds you tight

Asmodeus:

When he found you he was sobbing

It only grew worse when he found out what happened

In Denial

Not of Michael, he believed that but in denial you were dead or were dying

Kept insisting you were just tired and sleeping

Destroyed an entire room when one of them insisted you weren't sleeping

He'd help you get ready and pamper you, telling you it's okay and you can thank him when you feel better

Would be seen wiping your face often in hopes it'll get rid of that death like appearance you have

"They're fine but Michael won't be, when my precious darling wakes up I'll make sure they know I'll make everything better."

When you bad your cure he started crying and laughing, telling everyone he was right

Clinged to you and let you sleep

Beezlebub:

He found the parcel almost immediately

And went into a rage - we all know how his hunger tantrums are

Would've destroyed the whole house if he wasn't restrained

Guilt

So much guilt, his shoulders are always sagging

Sits by your unconscious body so he feels like he's protecting you

Has tried kissing you awake

Hoping you'll wake up like a fairy tale Character and everything will be fine

"I'm going to kill Michael and I won't let any of you stop me....protect (Y/N) For me."

Was so happy and relieved when you got the cure, sticking to your side at all times even when you were awake

Belphegor:

He was quick to help you into bed and on your side

When he found the parcel he was ready to murder

His rage towards Michael massively outweighed his hatred for humanity - even Lucifer!

Beel couldn't keep control of him mostnofnthe time unless he got forceful, belphegor stuck in a headlock screeching bloody murder

Stress sleeping

Like many of the brothers he develops two modes: calm or PLANNING MASS MURDER

Whenever he gets overwhelmed he just forces body to shut down and sleep besides you

"Michael will face me again, I won't let him kill anyone else that I love! He got Lilith killed and he can't do the same for (Y/N)!"

As soon as the cure was found he was by your side

Letting you rest and watched over you

UNDATEABLES↓

Diavolo:

Found out through the brothers

Sees this as an act of war against the peace he's working for

He was normally sweet and forgiving but it seemed Michael wanted to rip to his last nerve

Demanded for every reliable demon to search for a cure

Even had Solomon try to make one

"Barbatos, what is the possibility of Michael coming down to the devildom or the human realm? I want 'discuss' with him what his actions have caused."

As soon he he found out you were alive and safe

He didn't stop his plans but let himself have time with you

Barbatos:

So much guilt

Like holy shit

Is just constantly questioning how he didn't prevent this

Asked permission from the lord to just change the timelines so this didn't happen but the brothers were against it

They demanded they didn't avoid this situation and let Michael face punishment

That he couldn't refuse, he was angered by the angel's actions

More than he would ever show

"humans are so fragile and their time is so limited - that's why I'm never going to let anyone cut theirs short again."

Was part of the cure search party, he led the group

Once you were cured he stayed with you

Acting as your butler and made to check each of your foods and drinks

Solomon:

It wasn't a wise decision to piss off a wizard with stupid amount of pacts

To think an angel would do such a thing

But whilst Everyone lost their temper and searched for a cure

He was wondering - why did it happen

He was ordered asked to make you a cure

He was able to do it but the real cure was also found - giving you extra cure wasn't going to harm you

But he did plan to harm Michael

"you'd think he was smarter than this, he didn't even hide he was the one who did it but all it does is make my job easier."

nursed you until you woke up

Making sure you had mini cures to completely magic it out of your system

Simeon:

When he found out he was stunned

Betrayal - that's all he felt

How could Michael do such a thing?

But he knew Michael was a cruel angel, many having to drink Eden's tea as punishment

It burned their insides and had any poor soul sobbing for mercy after a gulp

"Michael you fool, you can get away with things in your league but you've involved the three realms into this....I pray you do not make your demise harder for yourself."

Was apart of the cure search party

Soothed you when you finally woke up, telling you it'll be okay

Let you rest as much as you wanted

Luke:

They tried to hide it from him but he kept demanding to see you

He wanted to know why everyone was acting strange

When he finally found out he was broken

His mentor

His idol

His everything

The person who always went for permission and knowledge

He thought so highly of him but he's hurt you

He's done more than that! He's tried to kill you!

He's been sobbing for days and locked himself away, he couldn't bare to see you after his once visit

He believed you were dead and they were just keeping your body

"Michael....why....why would you do this.... I thought you loved your brother's....I thought you were kind..!"

When he found out there was a cure he begged to help but they wouldn't let him

He only got to see you when you woke up and he was hugging you, crying

+ bonus Character↓

Michael:

The angel knew they'd be upset

But 9 demons wanting his blood? One wizard ready to cause mayhem and even his own kind wanting his downfall?

That he didn't expect

In his blind jealousy he didn't expect they'd all care for you this much

Thinking apart of them would be relieved you weren't there

But no

"You were my brother's before you were their partner, I'm simply doing what is right! It was their time to meet him and finally stop controlling all of you! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LOVE ME! I'M YOUR FAMILY! WHY ARE THEY MORE IMPORTANT?!"

He got his answer

His wings torn to shreds, chunks of flesh bitten off him and slashes all over his body

He was left in human world bleeding and barely recognisable

They didn't hold back

He dread to think what the rest of them would do when they find him

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astringofmadhousefloozies · 3 years

Text

Nickèd Names

Yuu finally learns who her funny Horned Boy is. This one takes place just after the ghost wedding. Content warning for coarse language and frank talk of bodily functions.

As always, check my Twisted Wonderland Fanfiction tag for more, and don’t be afeared to send me a message if you enjoyed something!

~*~*~*~

"You're finally back in class?"

You nodded at Deuce. "Stopped pissing blood every time I sneezed, so I'm back."

There's much to be said for kissing pretty ghost girls, but the main drawback is that when you do, you immediately, catastrophically hemorrhage from every pore as all your organs fail, and even with magical healing, you're still bedridden for a week. You wouldn't be doing that again. Maybe. Eliza was very cute.

"You're back. Excellent." Trein dropped a stack of papers in front of you. "Here's the work you missed."

You blinked up at him in horror. "Professor, I nearly died."

He stared back, face impassive. "You nearly did. And I'm fond of your work ethic. That's why you get this instead of a fail."

"... I'll take that."

~*~*~*~

It's after dark, so he should be along any time now. You set your phone down and wait.

True to form, your funny horned boy is soon sitting on the railing of your balcony, smiling at you. "You're all better now?"

"Better-ish." You might never get to stop taking those pills and supplements. "Why didn't you come by the room?"

"You don't know that I didn't. You slept a fair deal."

"Rude. Let's walk."

~*~*~*~

You're too tired to try the woods, so you're both slowly picking your way around the dorm grounds, your pretty horned boy keeping an eye that you don't trip. You could count the times he's touched you on one hand; when you asked, he said he didn't want to be rude. Perhaps he wasn't as fond of you as he seemed.

A buzz from your phone, Ortho wanted a symptoms check-in. You tapped back that you're fine, and your boy peered over your shoulder, leaning this way and that. Curiosity took the better of you.

"... You do know what a phone is, right?"

He chuckled. "Of course I do, my child of man. Not all technology is unknown in my homeland."

"Do you have one? I can give you my number."

He shook his head. "After I broke my last one, we decided it really wasn't necessary."

"You can replace them, you know."

"It was my... fifth?" He started counting on his hands. "No, sixth. They're delicate. After going through that many in as many weeks, we simply canceled the contract."

Your eyebrows went up through no effort of your own. "Jesus, you have the dropsies that bad?"

"The what?"

"Dropsies.” You mimed opening your hand, dropping something. “You dropped them."

"The first one went that way. Most simply shattered when I pressed the screen too hard, and one Lilia threw against a wall."

You decided to ask Lilia how he know your boy later. "Why'd he do that?"

"I tried to download a game and got, in his words, 'so many viruses.' " He seemed rather proud of himself. "They clearly weren't bad ones, I did not cough once."

"No, honey, that's not how that-" Even in the gloom, you saw he'd turned an alarming shade of red, and you backtracked. "Uh, you want to see anything on mine? I have pictures."

"Only if you don't hand me it."

~*~*~*~

"So there is a camera on this?"

"Yeah, most phones have them. Watch." You opened the camera, and hit the button so that the front camera was on, reflecting your spotty face and a wide-eyed faerie boy behind you. "This one's for selfies."

He made a face of pure confusion, and you hit the button to capture it, and showed him.

"Could you... not do that again? It's not proper."

"You know it doesn't steal your soul, right?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but again, sheer confusion stopped him until he gathered himself. "You always surprise me. But no, it's that... portraits are a formal thing. You shouldn't share that."

You blinked up at him with your best, sweetest face. "Is this just because you don't want me to ask around for your proper name with it?"

he stopped, blinked, inclined his head. "That didn't occur to me until now, but yes."

"I'll keep it to myself, I promise," you lied, and he believed you, and therefore did not hex your phone when he returned you to your room.

~*~*~*~

It was only partially a lie; you didn't actually show it to anyone. You simply set the picture of you both as your lockscreen, so you could enjoy it anytime. And this was what got Ace staring at your phone like it started sprouting feathers and clucking.

"Why do you have a picture of yourself with Malleus Draconia?"

Ah, so that’s it, you thought to yourself. "Who? That's my Horny Boy."

"what"

"Yeah, he said I could call him whatever I wanted because names are special and he's kind of a dumbass and let me."

Ace put an arm around your shoulder. "Yuu, I need to tell you why that is the second stupidest thing you've done in your life."

~*~*~*~

"He's not scary. You're clearly mistaken."

Ace flailed, halfway between exasperation and disbelief. "He's the strongest magic user in the school! Fifth strongest in the world! He is the Prince of Thorns and a big scary dragon and could kill you in the blink of an eye."

You frowned at him. "He is a great big loser who likes gargoyles and has zero clue about anything, ever. Have you ever actually talked to him?"

Ace gave you his best are-you-fucking-stupid-or-something face. "Of course not. He's also a third year, on top of everything else. I don't want to get turned into a rose bush or something."

"He's actually very easy to talk to. Probably because everyone's too scared to talk to him."You paused. "I'm gonna go talk to him."

"Nope!" Ace pulled you back in to your seat. "What if you curses you because you know his real name?"

"I highly doubt that. Let me go, Ace."

He smirked at you. "If you wanna go so bad then pull away."

"You know I can't do that, Ace." You're still too weak from your sickroom stay. "If you want me to stay, fine."

So you sat on his lap with a heavy flop, and watched him wince in pain. Even with all the weight lost from your illness, you're still too heavy for him. But he, stubborn brat, still gripped your arm and glared at you.

A battle of wills, one overweight brat and one stubborn weakling, rapidly losing sensation in his legs. "You're not going. I can stay here all day. You'll get bored before I do."

He's not wrong, but you have a secret weapon. "Keep me here and I'll fart on you."

He narrowed his eyes at you. "You can not fart on command."

You leaned over. "You don't know that. For all you know I had cabbage rolls for lunch and it's been brewing all day. You really wanna try me, Trappola?"

He did not want to try you, and, let you go with a grunt of disgust. "If you die, it's not my fault!"

"I'm not gonna die!"

"You said that about the ghost princess!"

"Is everyone going to hold that against me now?"

"YES!"

~*~*~*~

You found your horned boy in a pissing match with Kingscholar, and you decided to be as petty and obnoxious as possible. Walking up behind him - Malleus, what a pretty, pretty name for a witch boy - You simply wrapped your arms around his middle and squeezed, while he froze in place posed like a cowboy about to draw.

Leona started snickering. "Really? You get that few hugs in your life?"

"Shush." You peered under Malleus's arm, while he looked down at you. "Malleus? Can we talk a moment?"

Interesting. He could turn even paler than what he was.

~*~*~*~

"So the entire reason you didn't share who you were is that you thought I wouldn't want to hang out any more."

He nodded. "Most people are afraid of who I am. And you have generally unkind things to say about monarchies, as it is. I did not think you would take the prince thing kindly."

"Well." You shrugged. "Now I know why you kept taking notes whenever I started on that."

"You have many interesting things to say about it!" He brightened considerably. "I couldn't have a shift to elections within my lifetime, obviously, but much of it would be great to try implementing."

"Wouldn't your big scary grandma have anything to say about that?"

His smile was thin, but genuine. "She has much to say on most topics. But, if she did not want me to be exposed to new ideas, she could have simply kept me at home and continued with my private tutors."

You couldn't argue with that. "One last thing, Malleus."

He tilted his head slightly, face faintly pink. How could anyone be scared of him? He's so adorable it's enough to make you sick.

"I don't think I'll call you Horned Boy anymore, now that I know your more proper name."

He looked... disappointed, and you continued. "Mal's a little better for a nickname, yeah? Less of a mouthful."

He made a small noise, considering, before brightening. "Anything that you call me is perfection, my friend."

#twisted wonderland fanfiction #twisted wonderland #malleus draconia #ace trappola

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perfectpaperbluebirds · 3 years

Text

@sicktember Prompt # 20: Doctor Visit/Checkup

Title: The Best Medicine

Fandom: N/A

Based on this post by me. (Sick doctor)

A physician leaves work miserably sick. His RN girlfriend takes care of him.

(Author’s Note: This breaks the rule I set of less than 2k words but I wrote it before I decided to do this challenge and thought it worked well here. I just needed a sick doctor having PE performed on them ok 😅)

Due to the fact that it was 6:30 AM and she was still more asleep than awake, it took her a while to realize the man she was dating was standing behind her as she waited in line for coffee. However, in her defense, she had never seen him in this coffee line at this time of day before (and she herself was here at this time every day).

It wasn't until she heard a familiar, sniffly yawning noise that she turned and caught his eye.

"Shane? What are you doing here? You're usually sleeping right now." She didn't go to greet him right away, mainly because she didn't want to lose her place in line, and only two people stood between her and caffeination.

He too looked startled, though happy to see her. "Molly, hey," he said. There was a squeaky rasp to his voice and he had to clear his throat before he could continue. "Had an early meeting that got cancelled at the last minute. Since I was already awake, figured I'd come into the office early and clear out my inboxes."

"Gotcha. Well cool, that means I get to treat you to coffee for once. You find a place to sit and I'll get the drinks."

He shot her a grateful look and stepped out of line.

Molly ordered, received, and paid for the coffees quickly, tipping generously, before going to join Shane. He kissed her on the cheek as he took his cup, and they shared a warm smile as they made their way to a little sitting area, sharing a bench against the wall.

"Kathy's coffee is the best in the hospital. You'll love this."

"So you've told me many times. I'm glad I finally get to try it. What did you get me?"

"A surprise. You'll like it, trust me."

"Cheers, then." With another smile, they tapped their cups together before taking long pulls of their beverages.

"This is delicious," he said after a moment. "Best I've ever had from here. Thanks, babe."

"My pleasure." They sat for a bit in companionable silence, sipping their drinks. However, Molly couldn't help but cast sidelong glances at her partner with increasing frequency. Now that she was next to him, she saw he looked quite unwell. He was pale and shivery, with a flush over his cheeks and ears, and looking overall rundown and uncomfortable, a far cry from his usual easy smile and warm, steady demeanor.

"Is everything ok, doc? You really don't look good."

"You're saying I look ugly today?" he countered teasingly, dodging the question.

She nudged him playfully. "You're just as handsome as ever. I'm saying you look sick. Are you feeling ok?"

He shrugged. "Think I'm just tired. Not used to being up so early. My head and throat are kinda sore I guess."

"Just tired, huh?" She reached out and placed her palm to his forehead, then his flushed cheeks, and finally his neck, where she could feel the swollen lymph nodes she had already seen. She clicked her tongue scoldingly.

"That's a fever, Doctor Mitchell, and a high one at that. Why in the world did you come to work today?"

"No kidding, really?" Shane leaned back against the wall, rubbing his neck and looking sheepish. "I can't even remember the last time I had a fever. Had to have been before medical school. Guess I forgot what it feels like."

"Hmm. Well regardless, you need to go home. You can't risk infecting your patients and staff."

"Yeah, of course. I'll go now."

When he stood, she did as well, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug.

"Feel better. Get lots of rest and fluids."

"I know the drill," he rasped, smiling a little. "I am a physician."

"Sometimes I have my doubts, mister 'doesn't know what a fever feels like.' Sports medicine doesn't deal with the flu much." She kissed his shoulder fondly.

"Yeah, yeah." He pulled away, running his thumb over her jawline. "Thanks again for the coffee. I'll see you later. Text me when you have time. I'm sure I'll be bored out of my mind."

"Will do."

She watched him go wistfully, wishing she was going with him.

Naturally he wasn't far from her thoughts for the rest of the day. The hospital OB-GYN clinic was as busy as ever, and the hustle and bustle kept Molly, an RN, quite distracted, but every moment of downtime found her wondering how Shane was doing.

She texted him a few times as he requested. The first time he replied right away, saying he had made it home safely and was relaxing on the couch. The second time he replied a few hours later, saying how tired he was and how he really was starting to feel unwell, but he was doing fine. The third time he never replied.

Her plans for the weekend had been solidified in her mind as soon as she felt how feverish he was. She practically ran out the door as soon as she clocked out. Her first stop was her house to change clothes, shower, and gather some supplies. Her second stop was Shane's favorite soup and sandwich place for two quarts of soup and two sandwiches to go. From there, she headed to Shane's condo across town.

She hadn't informed him she was coming because she had wanted it to be a bit of a surprise. Initially her plan was to leave the soup and sandwich on the stoop and ring the bell, then duck out of sight until the last minute. However, her plan changed when she caught a glimpse of him through the front door.

He was fast asleep, sprawled out on his stomach on the couch. Bundled under two blankets and snoring with his mouth open, surrounded by a nest of used tissues and dishes, he was the picture of illness.

She didn't have the heart to wake him by knocking, so instead she used her copy of his house key to let herself in quietly, being careful not to let the cold air in with her. He didn't stir even after she shut and re-locked the door. After removing her coat, she deposited the items she had brought in the kitchen, then returned to his side. Perching on the edge of the couch, she ran her hand over his face and through his hair to wake him.

He stirred weakly, mumbling and snuffling as he opened his eyes. His face lit up upon seeing her, and he quickly sat up, leaning all of his sleepy, overly-warm weight against her for a tight hug.

"Molly, you're here! I'mb so habby to see you," he croaked earnestly.

She hugged him back just as tightly. "Of course I'm here. When you stopped replying to my texts, I knew I had to come check on you. You look so sick, poor guy, and you're so stuffed up. Are you surviving?"

He shrugged, pulling away. "I guess. I'mb doi'g ok. So achy and tired. Just been sleebi'g all day." He licked his cracked lips and tried to swallow, which resulted in a grimace. "Budt you should go, babe. I don'dt wandt you to catch this. It's ndasty."

As if to prove his point, he turned away from her to cough productively into his elbow, thick and chesty. He followed it up with a honking nose blow that was far less productive. She watched this display sympathetically.

"I'm not leaving you all alone and sick like this. And anyway, if I do get sick, I think I know a doctor who could take care of me." She bumped her shoulder against his. He smiled wanly. "Now, have you taken any medicine recently?"

He sheepishly averted his eyes. "Umb… ndo. I… don'dt really have anythi'g to take."

"Ugh, Shane. Don't tell me you're one of those 'it only treats the symptoms' purists."

"Ndo, it's ndot thad. Like I told you, I just haven't been sigck in years. I've never thought to buy cold mbedicine."

"You're such a guy," she sighed. "Even if you are a doctor. You at least got your flu shot right?"

"Yeah. Budt they're already sayi'g it's probably ndot goi'g to be very effective this year."

"Of course they are." She sighed again. "However, I had a hunch this would happen, so I came prepared." She quickly retrieved a bag from the kitchen which rattled with medications, sitting down beside him again. She selected the ones she wanted and shook them into his hand, watching closely as he swallowed them.

"You're acti'g like you don'dt trust mbe to take care of mbyself," he teased, taking several gulps of water to chase the pills.

"That's not necessarily true. I just want to do everything possible to help you feel better."

He had to cough harshly again before he could answer, hard enough to redden his face. "I love thad you wandt to take care of mbe. Budt you should really go. I'mb so contagious right ndow, and I don'dt wandt to try to stay away from you."

"Then don't. I came here to be close to you. I don't care if I get sick. It's the weekend anyway. I'm here for you and only you. Besides, you were probably contagious yesterday too, and we still made out. So it doesn't matter anyway."

"You're too good to mbe," he mumbled, finally succumbing and leaning his full weight against her, closing his eyes as he wrapped his arms loosely around her. "Budt I still don'dt approve. You're staying AMA, just so we're clear."

"Call me a rebel, then," she murmured, stroking his sweaty hair.

He sneezed suddenly, only once, but wet and laborious, catching it in his elbow. She quickly pulled a tissue from the nearby box. He took it gratefully, blowing his stopped nose as best he could before resting against her again. He sighed deeply as she resumed her petting.

"You're lugcky the desire to be taken care of when sigck is a deebply ingrained biological traidt," he continued to mumble, sounding sleepier by the second.

"I am, huh? Well you're talking an awful lot for someone who has no voice."

She felt him smile against her, but he did fall silent for a while, aside from his sniffling and soft coughing. She thought he was going back to sleep when he spoke up again.

"You know whad would mbake mbe feel even better thad mbedicine? Sumb soubp."

"Hmm, well it just so happens you have a girlfriend who thinks of everything." She gently shifted him off of her, going back to the kitchen and returning with a quart of soup and a sandwich.

"Sal's chigcken rice?" he rasped, his eyes lighting up hungrily as he sat up straighter.

"Naturally. We've been together almost two years. I know what you like when you're not feeling good."

"You're a lifesaver," he groaned, taking the proffered food and digging in right away.

"I'm glad you have an appetite anyway. I won't ever forget last year's stomach flu incident."

"Ugh, don'dt rembind mbe," he said with a shudder. "Bud other than thad one time, I'll always have an abbetite for this soubp. This is all I've wanted all day." He wolfed down the food with unexpected vigor.

"Well then you're lucky I think of everything, like I said. And to think you wanted to kick me out."

"I ndever *wanted* you kigck you oud. I'm just goi'g to hade mbyself whed you ged sigck," he mumbled, swallowing a mouthful.

"Maybe I won't get sick, did you think of that? And like I've been saying--" She leaned in to kiss him fully on the mouth, long and hard, until he pulled away gasping. "--I don't care. As long as you promise to take care of me if I do, I won't complain about a few days off. So stop worrying."

"Ugh, take it easy babe," he moaned, pressing a hand to his forehead. "This fever has mby blood flow all mbessed ub. You can'dt be usi'g your lips on mbe like thad."

"Don't worry, I'm not planning to seduce you today. Unless you instigate it of course." She gave him a wicked look and he flushed.

"You're something else, Mol," he muttered, unable to hide a smile.

"Just eat your 'soob'."

He did what he was told while she tidied up his sick bed area. When he was almost done, she fetched another bag from the kitchen and began rummaging through it. He eyed the items she pulled out suspiciously.

"How much crabp did you bri'g? And whad are you doi'g ndow?"

"Something I've always wanted to do. And something I think will make you smile."

"I feel like I've been smili'g since you godt here."

It was Molly's turn to flush and smile. "Something that might make you laugh, then."

She sat close beside him on the couch with her stethoscope around her neck, placing a little tablet of paper and a pen in front of her on the table.

"Constitution:" she both said this out loud and wrote it on the paper. "Well-nourished. Unwell appearing today. Complains of malaise and myalgia. Lymphatics:"

She had been neatly writing everything down as she spoke. After the last word, she reached out to gently palate the visibly swollen lymph nodes in his neck. He moaned softly as she massaged them, the moan turning into a cough.

"Cervical lymphadenopathy noted. Lymph nodes tender to palpation." She wrote this down as well.

"Whad are you doi'g, Mol?"

"You get to be a doctor all the time. Today you're definitely the patient, so I'm taking my turn being the doctor and doing a physical exam on you. We need to make a diagnosis after all."

"Ah, of course. Mby apologies, please continue," he said with a little laugh, wiping his nose with a tissue.

"Thank you. Open your mouth please." Inserting a thermometer under his tongue, she also took his pulse with her watch as the thermometer calibrated.

"Resting heart rate is elevated at 86 bpm. Temperature is abnormal at 101.8 degrees Fahrenheit."

"I could've told you thad. I just toogk my tembp before you godt here."

"I find that hard to believe since you were sleeping when I got here. Now shh. Actually say 'ah'." She situated a tongue depressor in his mouth, peering in. "Throat erythematous and inflamed," she said and wrote. "Now lean forward a bit if you would."

He did as he was told, looking slightly put-upon and she slid the diaphragm of her stethoscope under his worn university tee shirt, placing it on his back as she listened to him breathe for a moment. "Minor ronchi noted. No crackles or rales. Minimal concern for pneumonia at this time."

"Well thad's a relief," he said, sniffling wetly.

"Shh, I still need to listen to your heart," she said, sliding the diaphragm of the stethoscope around to his chest.

"Terrible beside manner. I'm leavi'g a ndegative review."

She gave him her sternest "doctor" look. He merely smiled impishly. She sighed, biting back a smile of her own, and listened again.

"Normal rhythm. L-1, L-2 heard."

Setting aside the instruments, she slid her hands under his shirt, feeling gently.

"Skin is overly warm or feverish. Abdomen is soft, non-tender and non-distended."

"You didn't have to go under mby shirt, you know. Abdominal exam cad be done over clothi'g," he said, smirking.

"I was being… thorough," she said with a wink.

He chuckled hoarsely. "Someone's godt the hots for their patiendt. Thad's trouble," he murmured, stifling a yawn as he pulled his blanket closer around himself with a shiver.

"Neurologic: grossly normal. Tremors noted due to chills. Psychiatric: patient is oriented to person, place, time. Behavior normal, but appears lethargic, fatigued and sleepy."

After writing down these final notes, she cuddled up beside him on the couch, wrapping him in her arms and pulling him close as he started shivering in earnest. He nestled against her wearily.

"How did I do?" she murmured. "Did I make you laugh a little at least?"

"Very thorough and efficiendt," he mumbled sleepily, coughing. "And yes you did. Whad's your diagnosis and treadtment plan, doctor?"

"At best a severe case of rhinovirus. I'm more inclined to think influenza due to the fever, but we'll continue to monitor. No active intervention needed at this time. Bed rest at home, OTC medication as needed and adequate hydration recommended." At this she handed him his water bottle. He drank several big gulps before handing it back to her and snuggling in again.

"If that's what the doctor orders," he sniffled, closing his eyes.

She held him for a while, since that seemed to be all he wanted, just rubbing his back and stroking his hair. However, they were forced to move when Shane pulled away to break into one of his barking, painful coughing fits. He tried to settle again after the fact, making a face.

"I don't feel good, Mol," he mumbled pathetically. "This sugcks."

"I know, doc. But I'm doing everything I can to help you feel better. I didn't realize your fever was so high though," she murmured. "And that was after you took medicine. But you seemed just fine yesterday. You don't do anything by halves, do you?"

"Thad's one of the reasons you have the hots for mbe, you know id is," he croaked.

"The only thing with the hots around here is that fever. You're sweltering."

"Sorry," he mumbled, yet made no effort to move off of her. Instead he sneezed wetly into his elbow.

"Update, you're sweltering *and* gross," she said conversationally. Yet she made no effort to move away from him either, kissing his forehead instead. He yawned as she did. "And sleepy."

"Thingk I'm just sigck," he muttered.

"Yeah, let's go with that. Do you want to go back to sleep right now?"

"Ndo. Ndot while you're here. I'm too sigck to sleeb anyway."

"There's no such thing as being too sick to sleep. But if you don't want to sleep right now, I have one more present for you."

"You've already given mbe too mbuch."

"There's no such thing as that either." She carefully shifted out from under him again and attempted to head to the kitchen once more. Before she could take more than a step though, he caught her hand and made her turn around. Seeing his imploring look, she stepped back into the V of his legs. He wrapped his arms fully around her, burying his hot face in her abdomen.

"Thangk you mbuch for the soubp and mbedicine, baby. You really are a lifesaver. I just wanted to tell you thad."

She nuzzled her face into his messy hair. "Anything to help you feel better. I can tell you're still miserable though."

"Nodt miserable with you here."

"Just sick."

"Mhm," he mumbled, sleepily as ever. She let him hold her for another moment or two before speaking again.

"Seriously though, I have something else I want to give you. It'll just take a second to grab."

"Fine," he sighed. As he pulled away, she saw a hazy, pre-sneeze look cross his face. Sure enough, as she trotted to the kitchen, behind her she heard him emit a pair of messy, rough sneezes.

"That soup really got your nose going, huh?" she asked as she reentered the living room.

"Guess so," he sniffled, blowing his nose thickly. "Thad's the poindt though, right?"

"Indeed it is." She moved to the entertainment center and quickly plugged her laptop into the TV.

"Now whad are you doi'g?"

"Maybe you should stop asking questions and just wait and see."

"You know I hade surprises."

"That's not true at all in my experience, so I'm calling your bluff on that one. But you won't have to wait long for this one either way."

After a few setting changes to allow the laptop display to be projected on the TV, Molly popped a disk into the drive and started it up.

"Are we watchi'g somethi'g?"

"You and your questions." She tossed a thick DVD case into his lap. He picked it up, his eyes widening happily.

"The original Jurassic Park trilogy? Holy crabp, this is awesome!"

"I'm glad you approve," she laughed, stepping into his arms again. "It was going to be your Christmas present, but I figured a sick day at home is an even better occasion."

"This is perfect, love. You're ambazing," he mumbled, squeezing her tightly.

"Anything for my best guy." She nuzzled his hair again fondly. "Anything to help you sleep."

"I don'dt wandt to sleeb while you're here though. I don'dt wandt to mbiss out on seei'g you."

"Well then you're in luck, because I'm planning on staying here all weekend. So I'll be here when you fall asleep and when you wake up. No time wasted at all."

A grin split his face. "You'd do thad for mbe?"

"I wouldn't dream of doing otherwise. Doctors need to be looked after too, especially by their nurse girlfriends. So you stretch out and get comfortable and leave the rest to me."

"You're cooler than anadomy and dinosaurs combined, you know thad?"

Molly giggled happily. "I don't know if I'll ever come back from such high praise. You better quit while you're ahead, Dr. Mitchell."

"Only if you promise to make mbe coffee in the morni'g. Your good coffee."

"Sounds like a plan," she said with a grin and another kiss.

#sicktember2021 #sickfic #everyone is hotter with a fever #prompt 20

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corvus--rex · 3 years

Text

So, to start off with, these are a little rough. Mostly cleaned up for spelling/grammar, but there are things that are more like placeholder notes in exposition form that would be written out if I went back to it.

This one's working title is Quantum Fracture, is "in universe" non-canon compliant, and is set both near the end of s.2 after ep.9, and a few years post s.8. It's also only semi-abandoned. I like it and want to keep going with it, but I've hit a wall and just can't do anything with it right now. It has (sort-of) time travel and "Galra genetics are weird" resulting in Klance kids. It does also switch between times, but those sections have punctuation separators.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Lance, Pidge, keep watch on the area. Keith, Hunk, and I will go down to check it out,” Shiro said over the comms.

“Got it.”

“Copy that.”

Green and Blue split off from the V-formation, flying over the asteroid while Black, Red, and Yellow landed on its surface. Lance and Pidge kept a visual track on their friends while keeping their scanners active for anything in the area. Team Voltron had been on their way back to the Castle after liberating another planet from the Galra Empire when Pidge’s more finely-tuned scanners picked up on what looked like an abandoned Galra base embedded in an asteroid. Shiro made the call to check it out and let Allura and Coran know what was going on, keeping Lance and Pidge on watch. The Black Paladin took point, with Keith right behind him. Hunk brought up the rear, man-portable cannon ready for whatever might try to sneak up on them. The facility was powered down, a layer of dust on every surface.

“Looks like it really is abandoned,” Keith said, “I don’t think there’s anyone or anything left here.”

“Agreed, but I want to complete a sweep of the facility. Never know what might have been left behind,” Shiro replied.

They continued on, not making any real effort at stealth, but only made it about another 20 feet before a side door creaked and flew open, Keith finding himself blown out into space, despite Hunk’s effort to prevent it. Keith tried to use his jetpack to redirect himself and head back to the facility, but there was just enough gravity generated by the density of the asteroid field to pull him toward the nearest surface. He bounced off the next asteroid, damaging his jetpack in the process. It sent him away from the asteroid field and into open space.

This isn’t how this was supposed to go, Keith thought as he floated in the void, then realized just how much Lance was rubbing off on him. His back hit a second, smaller asteroid, and he bounced off into the nothingness. Come on, Red. Where are you?

He felt the shift in the vacuum an instant before the sensors in his armor picked it up. The short chirp announced the sensors’ findings, bringing it up on the HUD. The display’s minimal capabilities showed the slight variant, a faint ripple in the fabric of space.

“The fuck is that?” he asked the void of space.

He hadn’t expected an answer, and didn’t get one. What he did get was the familiar mental pressure of the red Lion, immediately followed by the equally familiar golden glow of the robotic cat’s eyes. Red swallowed the paladin’s free-floating body, and he rolled through the slowly pressurizing corridor before the artificial gravity activated. He had only just taken his seat in the cockpit when he heard Pidge shouting across the comms.

“Keith! Are you ok? There was a spatial-temporal fluctuation right next to you.”

“Yeah, I felt it, but I'm ok,” he answered, exhausted from the mission and subsequent launch into space.

Green came up alongside Red, guiding them back to the Castle, Blue right behind them. Once the three Paladins were back aboard the Castle of Lions, Pidge insisted that Keith go to the medical deck, just in case.

“Ok, fine, Pidge. But I'm fine. Really,” Keith protested while simultaneously giving in.

She didn’t trust him to really go, but she was also concerned with the anomaly she found, so didn’t question it when Lance volunteered to make sure Keith went.

“Keith, what were you thinking?” Lance asked when they were alone.

“I don’t know what happened. It wasn’t anything I did and Hunk and Shiro will figure it out. Pidge is more worried about the space-time ripple we encountered. But I'm fine. Really.”

Blue’s Paladin stopped in the middle of the empty corridor. “You scared me, cuervo. I saw you get ejected into empty space without Red or any of us nearby. Pidge said she was going after you, but still…it scared me.”

“I don’t think we should hide anymore. I think it’s time to let the team in on our secret.”

The pair had been dating secretly for a month at that point, intentionally keeping their relationship from the rest of the team. Keith didn’t think they would have been taken seriously to begin with, and Lance agreed. After a late-night talk, they both decided to give it time and let themselves settle into their budding relationship. But it was beginning to make them behave differently, especially on missions. They became focused on where the other was and it was causing mistakes. This last mistake could have been deadly, although Keith was right, he hadn’t done or not done anything that led to the deserted Galra base’s small side door opening and pulling the Red Paladin into the cold vacuum of space.

“Yeah, I think you might be right,” Lance admitted.

Keith took his boyfriend’s hand, linking their fingers together, and headed toward the medical deck. Coran met them there, no doubt having been called by Pidge. Keith was thoroughly checked over by way of the Castle’s scanners, and as far as they could tell, not a molecule was out of place. After finding out that Keith was at least partly Galra, Pidge and Hunk had thrown themselves into a reprograming project to the medical deck’s scanners, integrating human biological standards. They were surprised to find that the scanners were already programmed with Galra standards, and that was when Coran told the entire team about the original Paladins, Zarkon included.

Instead of the lounge or one of their bedrooms, Lance and Keith instead went to one of the Castle’s many observation balconies. Once they were alone, Keith let himself crumble, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and holding on as tightly as he could. Lance gently returned the physical connection, understanding that the events of the morning had affected him more than he would let on in front of anyone else. He waited until he could feel the tension drain and knew that Keith was just sneaking middle of the day snuggling.

“You better now?” Lance asked.

Keith sighed softly against Lance’s neck. “Yeah, I think so. We should probably go see what Pidge found before anyone wonders where we went.”

“I don’t wanna,” he protested, holding on tighter.

Keith laughed and pulled away. “Well, if we stop keeping all this a secret, we won’t have to worry about where and when anymore.”

“Ugh. I guess.” Lance’s tone was overdramatic as usual, but his blue eyes sparkled with excitement at the idea of being open about his relationship.

Stepping backward out the door, Keith led the way toward the Lions’ hangars and Pidge’s lab. Halfway down the second to last corridor, Keith tripped over the smooth floor. He caught himself mid-stumble and stopped completely.

“Keith?” Lance asked, “Mi cuervo, you ok?”

_~*~_~*~_~*~_

“Keith! What the fuck was that?” Lance called over the comm.

“Dunno, but my speeder’s sensors caught it. Heading back now,” Keith answered from inside his modified speeder.

Modified, that was, by Pidge, who had retrofitted all of the Lions’ speeders to be able to fly in space. They were still fairly short-range, not capable of straying far from the Lions. It meant that Keith was still in visual range of Red when the Lion’s sensors spiked with the anomaly’s fluctuation.

Lance was waiting at the door to the cockpit when Keith came in. The tail of the raised French braid that normally ran halfway down his back was draped over his shoulder. Lance had insisted on braiding his husband’s hair that morning. Keith had groaned and asked why, seeing as it was just a simple recon mission. “Because you’re pretty, the twins are at school, we have time, and I felt like it,” was the list of reasons Lance rattled off as he made Keith sit. He didn’t mind it, but they usually saved more complex braids for diplomatic missions, not “drive down the street for space readings” missions.

Keith had had his second puberty while in the Quantum Abyss with Krolia, and it ended up being a good thing she was there. Alone, he would have assumed that the abdominal cramping, chills, fever, nausea, and full-body pain meant that he was dying. Krolia, however, recognized the symptoms of the shift in her son’s body to that of a Carrier and becoming physically capable of conceiving and carrying a baby. She told him that his half-human status may well have rendered him infertile, but they didn’t have the resources to look into it at the time, and the middle of a war wasn’t the time to worry about it. So it surprised both Keith and Lance when he found himself pregnant not long after the war ended, and they welcomed their twins Andra and Ori five and a half months later after a normal Galra-length pregnancy. The twins birth records had their names down as Andromeda Artemis and Orion Fenris Kogane-McClain, names that were called with increasing frequency now that the twins were five.

Keith sat himself in the pilot’s seat, pulling up the sensor readings from both Red and the speeder. They looked the same to both himself and Lance, but Pidge would be able to make better sense of them. But something about the anomaly was bothering Keith. It took a good minute of staring at the readings to realize that it was similar to how spacetime behaved near the core of the Quantum Abyss. And something about thatbothered him even more.

“You ok, cuervo?” Lance asked, leaning against the edge of the display panel.

“Yeah,” Keith sighed, “Just something about that anomaly reminds me of the Quantum Abyss. We’ll get it to Pidge and figure it out.”

The trip back to the new Castle was short, Red bypassing the reconfigured IGF-Atlas and heading directly for his hangar on the original Castle of Lions. After the end of the Galra War and the brief, but intense, war with Honerva, the Voltron Coalition needed a permanent – and mobile – base. The Atlas reshaped itself, wrapping around the Castle like the defensive walls of an ancient castle around its keep. Its completed size rivaled that of Galra Central Command, now the seat of the newly-formed Galra Collective.

Team Voltron’s power couple – beating out Shiro’s marriage to Adam – crossed the distance to Green’s hangar, where Pidge still maintained her personal lab. They found her buried in her multi-screen setup, one screen dedicated to the call she was on with her long-distance Olkari girlfriend Malyn, the others covered in technical readouts, diagrams, and blueprints.

“We’re back,” Keith announced when they walked in.

“Oh good. Anything weird happen out there?” Pidge said, taking Keith’s comm.

“The anomaly is behaving like the core of the Quantum Abyss.”

Pidge shoved the device into her computer a little harder than she intended. Except for her ongoing call, she wiped everything off the other screens, replacing what was on them with the readouts from both Red and the speeder. Her amber eyes flicked from screen to screen, already analyzing.

“I’m really sorry, Malyn. I have to call you later.”

“Of course. Is everything all right?” Malyn asked, concern laced in her voice.

“I’m not sure yet. We found a spatial-temporal anomaly, but it’s behaving differently from anything similar I’ve seen. Maybe…there was one…nah, that was different…”

Malyn laughed, she always found her girlfriend’s analytical mind adorable. “I’ll let you get to that. We’ll talk later.”

“Hm? Oh, yeah. I'm sorry, Malyn. We’ll talk again later, promise,” Pidge apologized again, but Malyn waved her off, still laughing, and cut the call.

“So, you'll let us know when you’ve found something?” Lance prompted.

“What? Yeah. Right. This is weirder than anything I've ever seen like this…”

Lance and Keith shared a look, knowing that Pidge was fully invested in the data and that she wouldn’t leave her computer unless she was physically removed. Deciding on the tactical retreat, they left her to it, heading back to their apartment on the Castle.

The Atlas hadn’t been the only thing to be reconfigured. The Castle of Lions had undergone its own renovations, the old single rooms turned into apartment-like suites. Shiro and Adam maintained Garrison positions onboard the Atlas, but retired to the Castle at the end of every day. Lance and Keith settled into their apartment after their two month long honeymoon. Hunk was splitting his time between the Castle and Balmera, sharing his space with Shay when they were there. Pidge mostly used hers as an excuse for more tech and a separate workspace, but Malyn stayed there with her when she could get time away from rebuilding Olkarion under Ryner’s guidance. Coran had decided to keep his old room the way it was, and Allura felt that her own rooms didn’t need the upgrade. The rest of the rooms stayed the same for the new Altean crew running the ship at a proper capacity.

It wasn’t until they got back that Keith realized Pidge still had his comm. “Well, shit. I’ll be back,” he said, heading for the door.

Lance decided to follow him out into the corridor.

“Why?”

“Because,” Lance answered, “I have nothing better to do and I can watch you walk away all day.”

“What the fuck, Lance?” Keith groaned in mock frustration.

“No, that’s after we get your comm.”

Keith turned, intending to call Lance out on exposing him like that, but stumbled, relieved that Lance was close enough to catch him.

“You alright, cuervo?”

“Yeah, I'm fine. Just tripped,” he said, but stopped. Something was wrong. He could feel the braid hanging over his shoulder from when he stumbled, felt the strength in Lance’s arms. No, this was wrong. He looked up. There was a small scar he didn’t remember being there, and the blue Altean marks were definitely new. His own body felt foreign. It was shaped differently, taller and broader than it should be. His voice was different, a little deeper, a little huskier than it should be. “Lance?”

“Keith, love, are you really ok?”

“I…I don’t know.”

Lance helped him to stand, leading him back to their apartment. Once inside, he sat Keith on the couch. “What happened? Exactly,” he asked.

“What does – is this about the anomaly? I told you before that I'm fine. We had Coran check me out. There was nothing wrong. Where are we anyway?”

“We didn’t have Coran check you out. There’s an entire medical crew for that anyway. We’re home, on the Castle. What do you remember from this morning?” Lance’s entire tone was cautious. Something was very wrong with his husband, but he wanted to have at least some answers before bringing it up with anyone else.

“We were coming back from a mission and stopped to check out an abandoned Galra base in an asteroid field. One of the side doors opened and I got blown out. There was a ripple in space-time, and I got close to it in nothing but my armor before Red came to get me. But I'm fine. I told both you and Pidge that.”

Lance remembered that mission. Overall, it was unremarkable. The base didn’t have anything useful. But there hadn’t been any temporal fluctuations. Yes, Keith had ended up floating through the void, but nothing happened other than that. The only reason he remembered that mission in particular was because that was when they decided to tell the team that they were together. It had been ten years since that mission.

“Ok. I do remember that. But, that was ten years ago. That was when we decided to tell the team that we’d been dating for a month.”

Keith’s face flickered between shock, bewilderment, and terror. Ten years? There was no way that could be right. But the evidence was right there. His own body and voice were different. He could see and feel how long his hair had gotten. And then there was Lance. He was beautiful as ever, and it certainly seemed that they were still together, but he was different. The scar, the Altean marks – how and when the fuck did that happen, and why? – and there was the fact that he was broader, more muscled, not slender and willowy like he had been. He processed everything in real time, not saying a word in that time. It had apparently been longer than he thought, because Lance was looking up at him from where he’d tilted his head to the side.

“Keith? Mi cuervo? What is going on?”

“You…you still call me that? It really has been ten years?”

“This has to be related to that anomaly,” he muttered. “Yeah, it’s really been ten years. And, yeah, I do still call you that. A lot’s changed in ten years, but not that. Stay here. I need to show you something. It might help.” Lance stood, leaving the room for their bedroom, coming back in less than a minute. He extended his free hand, bringing Keith over to the table where they both sat. Lance placed a ring of smoothly twisted and woven silver metal and carved crystal that shifted between blood red, cobalt, and vibrant violet on the table between them. “Do you remember this?” he asked softly, “Do you remember when I gave you that?”

Keith stared at it like if he could untwist it mentally, he could remember what it was. But he couldn’t, because Lance had never given him anything like it. It was definitely something he could see Lance picking for him, but as far as Keith knew, he never had.

“No, I don’t,” he had to admit.

Lance sighed, a tinge of sadness to it. “Ok. Something happened with the temporal anomaly we found earlier and that Pidge is still analyzing. I know you’re really Keith, but I don’t think you're my Keith. What you said happened this morning happened ten years ago for me. We need to go check in with Pidge and see if she’s figured anything out yet.”

“Ok,” Keith agreed, rising to follow Lance, “I shouldn’t know anything else. Not yet. But at least I know we’re still together.”

“We certainly are,” Lance agreed, taking Keith’s hand, “We’ll figure this out. That anomaly might have fucked with your memories somehow, but we’ll figure it out.”

_~*~_~*~_~*~_

“Yeah, fine.” Keith stood on his own, suddenly realizing that they shouldn’t have been a corridor and a half away from Green’s hangar, they should have been close to their apartment in a completely different part of the castle. Everything seemed ever so slightly bigger, except for himself and Lance. His braid was gone, and he was wearing clothes he hadn’t seen in years. And Lance looked so young. This was the thin, wiry boy he’d fallen in love with more than ten years before. The one without the Altean marks he’d gotten when Allura revived him after saving her from an energy blast. But he heard Lance call him by that familiar pet name. That alone left Keith with more questions.

“We need to see if Pidge’s gotten anywhere with that anomaly,” Lance said.

“Yeah,” Keith agreed. When had his voice gotten higher?

Keith stopped when they walked into Pidge’s lab. It wasn’t what he was expecting. This was the lab of a decade earlier. The one with the laptop she’d brought from Earth along with the equipment she had either repurposed or built from scratch. It startled him, and he froze in place.

“Keith, seriously, are you ok?”

“I…I don’t know anymore. Everything is wrong. Where is everyone else?”

“Hunk and Shiro are heading back from the abandoned base now. That door just malfunctioned after going so long without maintenance. And there was absolutely nothing important there,” Pidge answered, still focused on her computer screen. She realized part of what he said and turned around. “Wait, what do you mean ‘everything is wrong’?”

“You’re looking at a spatial-temporal anomaly, but it didn’t happen now. There shouldn’t have been one here. I…I think I might be from your future. Or, at least, sort of. I don’t look any different to you, do I?”

“No. You don’t. Get back to the part where you think you're from the future.”

“I don’t know how much I should tell you. I don’t know if it could upset the timeline. But I know when I am now.” He turned to Lance. “It’s been about a month now, right? And we had that talk?”

Lance nodded, trying to understand just what his boyfriend was saying about the future. “Yeah, and we did talk about it. Just a few minutes ago. But if you're from the future, I don’t know if talking about that now will help. It also doesn’t answer the question of if you’re Future Keith, what happened to Present Keith?”

“I don’t know. Best case, he switched places with me. He’ll be confused and probably a little scared, but I know he’s in good hands there. Fuck it feels weird talking about myself in the third person. Have you found out anything about the anomaly here?” he asked Pidge.

“Well, I think so, but I've never seen anything like this before.”

Keith came up behind her, looking over their temporal disruption. It was identical to the one he’d found in his time. He had no question now that he had switched bodies with his 18-year-old self. But at least there were a few things he didn’t need to worry about hiding. He knew he was at least partly Galra at this point. He wouldn’t meet Krolia for a little while, so he would have to keep that one to himself. But it also meant that he hadn’t been through the Quantum Abyss yet. There was no way he could tell them about that without explaining everything. He would have to be subtle with asking about the war.

“I have, but I can’t tell you anything specific. Like where, why, or how. And even knowing what it is, I don’t have your science brain, Pidgey. I have no idea how it works.”

Both Pidge and Lance were staring at him. Not because of what he said, but how he said it. He’d picked up a lot of linguistic quirks from Lance over the years, and no longer gave it any thought at all.

“You sound like Lance,” Pidge said finally.

“We’ve all spent a lot of time together over ten years,” Keith replied, avoiding the real question.

“Sure. What canyou tell me about this?”

Keith pulled Hunk’s usual seat over, sitting beside her. Lance perched on an empty spot of desk space, suddenly wanting to be closer to his boyfriend, or whatever he was at that point.

“It’s specific to a single point in space, but not this one. But that’s the problem. I can’t tell you anything about where it is or what it is because you haven’t gotten there yet. All I can say is that space and time work very differently there due to massive fluctuations in gravity, which is why this doesn’t make any sense.”

“Because there’s something there that affects the gravity in a way that it doesn’t where we found it.”

“Basically. It’s more like what affects gravity there doesn’t exist anywhere else, especially where this anomaly was found. It’s also far smaller here than it should be. Like the difference in scorch marks between Lance’s rifle and Hunk’s autocannon.”

“So, this anomaly is a precise shot, and where it should be is a huge mess,” Lance said.

“Pretty much,” Keith agreed, “But I really can’t tell you about it because there’s something vital to the war there and I don’t know how it would change things if you found out about it now. It wouldn’t be good. There are other players you don’t know about yet.”

Pidge continued typing away at her laptop, the 3D render of the anomaly rotating on the screen. Lance wanted to watch the progress, but he couldn’t focus on it. His attention was solely on Keith. Except for his earlier phrasing, he didn’t think Pidge had picked up on just how different he was. Body language, mannerisms, almost everything had changed in some way except for his physical appearance. And there was one thing Lance had noticed almost immediately after Keith started talking about the anomaly. He was pretty sure Keith wasn’t aware of it, but he had been running his left thumb across the ring finger of the same hand, like there was something missing. Lance thought about bringing it up, but decided not to, heavily suspecting Keith would just say that it was something else he couldn’t talk about.

~*~*~*~

Links to the rest of the series:

1 | 2 | 3* | 4 | 5* | 6* | 7 | 8 | 9* | 10 | 11 | 12* | 13 | 14 | 15* | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19*

#my writing #abandoned wips #Klance #vld #voltron #omegaverse #sort of #keith x lance #keith kogane #lance mcclain

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betweentheracks · 4 years

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Heyo! Not to be too nosy here but you mentioned you're in bad health and recovering, and I just wondered what happened? Also how would it impact your career since, from how you've made it all seem thus far, it's a highly active and demanding job?

Hope you take care and get well! You appear quite strong and not like you'd take whatever has happened just lying down, so here's to you!! 🙏💓

No sweat and no worries here, I dont find this particularly invasive. If anything, I'm flattered you care to ask after me lol. 😁

A few weeks back I met a friend I hadn't seen in some time for lunch. This was against my better sense of caution that I've held firmly to throughout the pandemic, but I would feel regretful and dismissive if I didnt agree to see her while I had the chance. I should've listened my gut and stayed safely at work because this "friend" failed to mention she had tested positive (she knew already by the time of our lunch date, she has since admitted) and had figured since she had no symptoms there was no harm in being in public.

FF only a few days later and I was feeling a little unwell but had put it off as an effect of the winter blast that had just hit where I live. I'd spent half a day out in the cold and snow for a photoshoot only the day before and thought it was probably due to that since I'm susceptible to weather influenced head colds and bronchitis. Fortunately, my job mandates a rigid COVID-19 screening twice a week due to our high profile clientele and as an assurance of health and safety for us all. Mine read back with a positive and with the way I had been feeling I was immediately sent home and the company closed its doors while the building was sterilized and our clients notified.

Thankfully I managed not to infect anyone I work with nor my son. Regrettably, I did infect my best friend since we're horrifically incapable of maintaining personal space and have weak shit immune systems. We both agree it is a wonder we made it this far into plague times without it catching us.

So I went and got looked over and sent on my way with my prescription of potent anti-virals and steroids. I was well prepared to abide the quarantine guidelines and had sent my son to my mother's home for the duration so that he was out of the danger zone. It was fine, I was kinda cool and keen on getting a few days to myself to rest up and all that jazz. But it wasn't meant to last and I found trouble in the form of being unable to remain conscious much at all and would pass out constantly. After a few times of this I gave my brother (he's a doctor and vaccinated) a ring and told him that my fatigue was no joke dude and needed him to come give me a better once over than the one I'd gotten before bc I was sure I was not meant to feel this badly. He found me unconscious in the shower that night, my head battered from crashing to the basin.

After ensuring I wasn't concussed and jokes on what a hard head I have to take such a beating and show no signs of registering it beyond bruising (a joke between us due to him having once accidentally put a golf club into my forehead and fracturing my skull but that's a different story) he told me to call him regularly so that he can review how I feel and the progression of my symptoms and left. By the morning I had already had two more instances of sudden fatigue and collapsing in on myself. I had been posting on my main blog here about how I was doing and due to this I caught the concern of @peekbackstage and upon their suggestion to have my O2 levels tested it was revealed that I was having issues with my blood not circulating oxygen as it should and nearing hypoxia.

Here's the rub. I have a heart condition that is already very dangerous and bleak which limits my heart's capability of delivering blood through my body as it should. Cardiomyopathy or, as it seems better known, congestive heart failure. I've had surgery for it and it has been a while since it caused me any real issues as long as I stick to my routine of care and manage my health, but when COVID-19 infiltrated my body it immediately snagged upon this weak heart of mine and sank its fangs in.

Within a day of being admitted to the hospital I had a grand mal seizure due to the constant fluctuations of oxygen in my blood and the way my body was working double time to supplement for it. And only 2 days after that and when my nervous system had finally quieted down, I went into full cardiac arrest with a heart attack at my young age.

My next weeks were spent connected to machines doing more for me than my own body could. I developed pneumonia in my lungs, acute though it was it was still another complication that my wrecked body had to overcome as it made my already ragged breathing even worse. I was steadily shedding muscle tone and definition due to a lack of mobility and the fact that my body felt like a deadweight I could hardly take command of, and generally very weakened. My heart, the horrible thing, was inflamed and trying too hard by beating too fast, too hard.

FF some more and I was doing fairly well and treatments were showing some improvement. My heart was still being an ugly and gnarled beast in my chest and throwing weird spikes on the monitor that raised alarms. The pneumonia was retreating and I had no further seizures. It was the dawning light of my first signs that I was recovering!

It took a while more and so fucking many tests day in and day out for me get cleared for release. I tested negative for COVID-19 and was ashamed that I actually forgot that that was why I was even in the hospital to begin with, given all that happened. I have to undergo physical therapy and counseling; PT for heart happy exercises as well as to manage to my depleted muscles, counseling bc I was rocked mentally from all the almost dying and the depressive haze of being holed up in the hospital and surrounded by people who, like me, came in with COVID-19 but unlike me did not come out of it.

I'm home now. I had to have a pacemaker implanted and must stay vigilant for any showing that my heart is not performing as it should. I still have some severe inflammation and chest restriction in my airways as well as my blood vessels but nothing too daunting. I also have a full battalion of prescriptions, most for my heart, and a nebulizer to ease any breathing issues. The worst is honestly that I still am very weak and have severely limited reserves of energy.

My job is required to make me take 12 weeks of leave for rest and recuperation. This is very upsetting since I had been requested by name to be an assistant stylist at the Grammys this year which is truly a dream (especially with BTS in the mix 😩😩) and also bc I'm just a workaholic by nature and love my job. When I return I am expected to learn how to properly delegate tasks that do not directly require me to handle and slow down the pacing of my projects. My boss terminated a contract with a client that was nearing the scheduled end of our agreement and was also incredibly problematic to help lighten my workload. It's imperative that I reign in my stress levels or my heart will not last until the next surgery I'll need, so I'm gritting my teeth and letting my job be picked apart to reduce my responsibilities.

My post awaits my return but I will not be returning to full activity for a while after, which means no rifling through the racks for hours alongside the archivists in search of the perfect piece. I'll be welcome to meet with my clients and oversee the glam teams, will still be the command tower for final verdicts on which styles to use. But I will not be running around showrooms nor personally handling matters any competent trainee could be tasked with like I've always done. I will no longer be able to fly out anywhere for destination shoots or fashion shows.

If, after my next surgery, things are better and my heart stable to the point that they are hopeful of things will be reevaluated. While it is difficult beyond measure for me to relinquish the reigns of my career and be restricted in what I can do now, I am very thankful to be alive and upright when that wasn't a certainty just a little while ago. This is such a humbling experience to have survived when my stats kept dropping every day. I've been told to expect that I will never make a full 100% recovery and to expect to stall out around the 70%-90% range, with 70% being the most realistic.

My best friend (the one I gave the plague to) will be moving in with me so that I am never on my own if things go tits up and to assist in wrangling a toddler since I am currently without the energy to do so as my child is, sincerely, a crazy gremlin spawn with limitless battery life. Slowly, my life will regain some normalcy 💖

#racks asks #personal and long winded - read at own risk

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amurder-ofcrows · 4 years

Text

✨ mental health advice from your local general anxious depressed schizophrenic that i hope can be more realistically achievable ✨

find a soap that smells the best to you. for me, i have a lot of sensory issues and i’m very particular with my soap, and when i found a scent that i really liked, it was easier to motivate myself to shower. i personally use the ritual of happy buddha collection from the brand rituals. it has soaps, scrubs, lotions, hand soap, and scented sticks for your room, and i have a very positive association with it so the smell makes showering less difficult

keep a towel and baby wipes on your bedside table or on an area you can reach from your bed. there are days when showering just isn’t possible. use the baby wipes to wipe your armpits and face for a quick clean up. the towel is for any spills or crumbs that might end up on the floor or in your bed if you can’t eat unless you’re in bed because you only have enough energy to go to and from the kitchen

do what you need to do to keep yourself as calm as possible, even if it seems weird. cover that computer in stickers to block the cameras. close those blinds/curtains. listen to your music with headphones even though you’re home alone but you feel like it would let people know where you are. triple check those locks. it’s what helps in the moment. you can work on it in therapy but right now you need to stay as relaxed as you can

when you get a break of clarity, use that time to write out a script to text people when you need help. thinking of the best way to word your need for help can be hard when you’re in the thick of it, and having a preprepared line of text you can copy and paste is really helpful

when you’re in bed, prop a pillow under your feet to help with the blood circulation in your body. switch it up between under your feet and under your hips to help with posture. this can prevent cramping when you’ve been in bed for a while

instead of putting your clean clothes in your closet, put them in the bathroom so you can change into them after a shower or change underwear after going pee. i’ve found that it’s easier for me to change into something when i don’t have to actually look for my clothes and it helps me not stay in the same pair of clothes all week

it’s ok if you don’t brush your teeth twice or more a day. once is fine. it doesn’t have to be the full minute to two minutes they recommend. just brush each side once and spit it out. it’s not what’s recommended but something is better than nothing

on that topic, something IS better than nothing. can’t shower? wipe yourself down with a face towel. can’t prepare a meal? eat the ingredients individually (slices of lunch meat, a slice of cheese, a few bites of a vegetable) or get crackers that can be eaten in bed and don’t need to be refrigerated and can be kept in your room.

motivate yourself by what helps you. if thinking stuff like doing this will help me in the future doesn’t help, find something else. if i do this i can go to bed. my cats will be happy if i do this. if i do this i can watch my favorite show for the rest of the day. it doesn’t have to be a profound meaning. this type of thinking has kept me alive. when i’m suicidal, the whole “we would miss you” “it’ll hurt your family” just doesn’t cut it. i need “i want to see the end of this series and then i can do it” and then hope that by the time the show ends i find another stupid show or book series or whatever to keep me going. my cats missing me kept me alive. it’s not a stupid reason if it helps you.

if you’re fixated on something stupid you did a while back and think everyone remembers it and is laughing at you, try to think of something embarrassing about someone else. it’s harder to do and it puts into perspective that even if they remembered it for a few days, in the long term it fades away and you’re the only one who remembers it. you only think about it if you’re actively trying, it’s not a constant thought in your mind. it helps with my spiraling into thoughts about everything i’ve done wrong because i don’t remember that about everyone else, why would they remember it about me

i hope this helps some of you. obviously it’s not going to help everyone but it’s the advice i’ve found over the years. i can also do a schizophrenia specific post so stuff about hallucinations, delusions, paranoia, negative symptoms, and cognitive symptoms if you guys want that.

#actuallymentallyill #actually mentally ill #mental illness #advice #- r

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ghostiewriter · 4 years

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7 and 54 for jiara

This one is kinda cute too🥺not me falling in love with Parents!Jiara🤡

Word Count: 2.2K

Prompts: “You’ve gone to the bathroom fifty times today.” // “Why’s there a pregnancy test in the trash?”

It had hit Kiara like a truck. Out of nowhere. Boom. Right in her face.

She didn’t understand how it happened. Okay, well of course she did. She was twenty-two years old, she knew very well how babies were made. But her and JJ were generally quite safe. They were young and neither of them were in the place for children. They had so many adventures they wanted to go on, places to see, countries and cultures to explore. Starting a family wasn’t in their short-term future.

Except, now it was.

It took Kiara a couple of weeks before she began to pick up on the signs. At first it was waves of fatigue, just generally feeling quite dizzy or tired. But she just pegged that as low iron or the jetlag from all the journey back to the States after their latest trip to Australia. Then came the feelings of nausea throughout the day. Once again, Kiara brushed it off, just thinking she was stressed from all the apartment searching back home. She didn’t think much of it.

It wasn’t until Thanksgiving rocked about that she finally realised something was up. Kiara and JJ were half way into moving into their new apartment (it was small and on the cheaper side, but it wasn’t like they planned to stay there for more than a few weeks at a time). The symptoms were only getting worse, and Kiara was too wrapped up in moving boxes in and out of storage that it only hit her a couple of hours before her parents’ Thanksgiving dinner party that she was a few days late.

She didn’t tell JJ. She didn’t tell anyone. She just rushed out to the shops, grabbed the first pregnancy test she could find and quickly paid for it.

Those three minutes were the longest of her life. She just stared at it. Stared at the stick that sat on the bathroom countered as she waited for the alarm to go off. And when it did, Kiara found herself staring at two pink lines.

Positive. She was pregnant.

Having to act like she was not having an internal breakdown and coming up with an excuse not to drink was probably the hardest part of that night. She saw JJ giving her curious glances, ones of concern but she assured him that she was just not up for drinking with the jetlag. He seemed to buy it.

It was her grandmother who made her nervous. She kept giving Kiara these looks all night, ones that looked straight through her façade and into her soul. It was like she knew, like she had some sort of sixth sense or pregnancy radar. And Kiara’s suspicions were confirmed when her grandmother stopped her just before she left, both of them the only ones in the room, as placed her hand on her stomach and simply smiled before wishing her a goodnight.

Thanksgiving also convinced Kiara that her grandmother was some sort of psychic.

However, Kiara was grateful that her grandmother didn’t tell anyone. And neither did Kiara. She wanted to tell JJ, she just didn’t know how. Every night, right before they went to bed, she would glance over at the drawer she had been hiding the pregnancy test in and just think about all the different ways she could tell him the news.

She could just hand him it and let him figure it out. Maybe put it in a box. She could maybe even make one of those cheesy ‘you’re going to be a dad!’ shirts (but she quickly decided against this one). Because the truth was, Kiara didn’t know how he would react. It was no secret that JJ’s childhood was less than ideal, and his father was the cause of so many issues that JJ still fought and dealt with today. It had taken him so long to even get him to where he was now, where they had a healthy relationship with good communication and a trust within each other—and even that took JJ a while to really grasp onto after years of flings and one-night-stands and bottling everything up.

But was he ready to be a father? To start a family? Was she?

She kept the secret bottled up for days, keeping it to herself. JJ noticed pretty quickly that something was up. She was zoning out more than usual, a lot more skittish as well. She was keeping something from him, he wasn’t that oblivious that he didn’t realise that. But he also respected Kiara enough to take a step back and give her space to work everything out. She would tell him when she was ready, he knew that. So, he stepped back and let her breathe.

She did appreciate it, she truly did. But it was one of the situations where she wished he was a little more pushy, that he would prod and question her so she could just blurt it out and get it off her chest. But JJ was too good for that. He just gave her comforting smiles and pressed a kiss to her forehead as if to say ‘I’m here whenever you need me’. God, it made her want to cry just at the thought of it.

She lasted a week after Thanksgiving before she came to the conclusion that she would explode if she didn’t tell JJ soon. He deserved to know, and this wasn’t something she had to face alone.

But still those doubts of his reaction lived in her mind, kept her up at night. So, she took the easy way out. They were still in the process of moving boxes in and out of the apartment, unpacking everything and making the place feel a bit more theirs. It was the perfect predicament. So, Kiara took the pregnancy test and placed it strategically in the bathroom where she was sure JJ would stumble upon it. And then she waited for him to find it.

She had hidden it that morning when she woke up earlier than him to find the perfect spot. It was now just after lunch, and JJ had still not seen the test. She was beginning to get angsty, and slightly worried for his eyesight. She made a mental note to book him an eye test later at the opticians.

Kiara had even gone to the extent of constantly checking the bathroom, making sure the test was still there and it hadn’t been moved. Maybe he had seen it and freaked out and decided to stay silent. But every time she entered the bathroom, it was sitting right where she left it.

This was supposed to be the easy solution and JJ had singlehandedly made it far more complex than it was meant to be.

JJ, however, was more concerned for his girlfriend’s bladder. Throughout their day of oh-so fun unpacking and decorating, he noticed the obscene number of times Kiara visited the bathroom. It was getting to the point where he was sure she had a UTI. He made a mental note to pick up some cranberry juice from the store later. But he didn’t understand why she didn’t say anything, that is if her UTI was the thing that had been stressing her out the last few days.

“Hey, you good?” He eventually asked as she stood on the other side of the living room, unpacking some books onto the shelves along the wall.

She froze for a few seconds before she turned to him, an easy smile on her face. “Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

He frowned a little. “No reason, it’s just—” He paused for a moment. “You’ve gone to the bathroom fifty times today. I thought maybe…you like…had an issue.”

Her eyebrows furrowed together, not quite understanding what he was insinuating. “Nope. Perfectly fine. Just your usual Kie.” She said with a small, tense smile on her lips. He only nodded his head but he couldn’t brush off the fact she was still acting odd.

Odder than she had been acting the past week.

When dinner had come around, they had decided to order something from outside since both of them were far too tired to even bother cooking. However, Kie had been on edge since their conversation earlier that day. Her heart stopped in that moment, she thought he had finally noticed. But he was as oblivious as always. So, Kiara was forced to step it up a notch.

When their food had arrived, Kie had taken the liberty of making JJ open the fortune cookies before they started. He didn’t think anything of it, just shrugging and opening his one.

“Enter unknown territory.” He read aloud before letting out a small chuckle. “Oh, how insightful.”

She gave him a pathetic smile in response before she opened hers, reading the words over a few times before she said them out loud. “To be found, stop hiding.”

“Who even writes these?” He muttered as he glanced down at the slip of paper in his hand. “Why not put useful messages on them. Like ‘don’t eat yellow snow’ or ‘never eat random berries you find in the woods’. Now those are insightful and useful.”

She rolled her eyes. “They are meant to be vague, Jay. Not things that are meant to just be common sense.”

“Hey, that yellow snow could’ve been lemon-flavoured.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”

“Tomayto, tomahto!”

The blond soon forgot about the fortune cookies as he reached over to open the containers and dig into the food. However, Kiara quickly slapped his hand away. He looked at her with a confused frown.

“You have to push the rubbish in the pin.” She said, pointing towards their abandoned fortune cookies.

“Uh, why? We can do it later—”

“No! You have to do it now. Like right now.” She pressed on, lips pressed together as she simply stared at him.

“Oh-kay.” He murmured as he stood up, picking up the trash before heading towards the kitchen before she spoke up again.

“NO! The bathroom bin. The kitchen one is full.”

He frowned. “But I just—”

“Nope!”

“Alright, geez! I’ll use the bathroom bin.” He muttered, shaking his head before heading down the hall instead.

Kiara waited. Waited and waited and waited. She sat there, fiddling with her fingers as she glared at the hallway he had just walked down. He would’ve seen it by now, she knew that. But she was only greeted with silence. Deafening silence that was just making her even more anxious than she was before.

“Kiara.” She heard his footsteps approaching. “Why’s there a pregnancy test in the trash?”

She looked up, seeing JJ standing there with the test in his hands and tears welling up in his eyes. Even his voice as he spoke was quiet, soft, hopeful.

“Surprise.” She whispered, nervously nibbling her lower lip.

She was waiting. Waiting for him to explode or start freaking. To start rambling away about how they are too young and that they aren’t ready. She was waiting for him to completely deny or even fathom the idea of them starting a family.

But he didn’t do that.

Instead, he shuffled towards her before falling to his knees in front of her. He softly placed a hand on her stomach before looking up at her with a soft smile, tears streaming down his face.

“I’m going to be a father?” She nodded. “Holy shit, I’m going to be a dad.” A few seconds passed as though he was letting that information properly set in when suddenly he was lifting Kie up and spinning her around.

“JJ!” She shrieked, but there was a smile on her face. He finally set her down, hands coming to cup her cheeks as he wiped away her escaped tears.

“We’re going to be parents.” He murmured with a huge grin on his face.

“Yeah, we are.” She replied, hands resting on his wrists.

“How long have you known?”

“Since Thanksgiving.”

“And you waited until now to tell me?”

She gave him a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you and I didn’t think you’d react so…happily, I don’t know.” She whispered, feeling a bit guilty for how long she had kept it from him.

“Oh no, I’m scared shitless.” He admitted. “But…I’ve got you so I know everything is going to be okay.”

Her expression softened before she wasted no time in pulling his face down to hers and finally kissing him. “We’re going to be parents.” She whispered against his lips.

“Hell yeah we are.” He whispered back with a grin, pressing a few chaste kisses on her lips before their rumbling stomachs finally broke them out of the trance they were in.

Soon after dinner, they had found themselves sprawled on the couch as some shitty reruns played on the TV in front of them. JJ’s hands had barely left her stomach, not that she minded too much, his fingers tracing small shapes and words on her skin. She smiled when she felt him trace ‘dad loves you’.

“I can’t wait to meet this little guy.” JJ murmured, his faze nuzzled against her neck.

She lightly elbowed him. “It could be a girl.”

“No way, definitely a boy.” JJ argued.

“You don’t know that.” She scoffed.

“Of course I can,” He looked down at her with a grin on his face. “Sixth sense.”

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

There was a few moments of silence before he eventually spoke up.

“What do you think about an army of J named kids?”

“You have enough Js for the family.”

“Wow, harsh.”

#jiara #outer banks #obx #jiara prompts #writing prompts #my writing

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aspecpplarebeautiful · 4 years

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I can’t really tell if I’m aro? I thought that I have crushes, but they could be squishes or something, idk. I feel the whole light and airy and bloomy feeling, daydreaming about being their friend. I feel all that flowery feeling and can’t help but to think, this can’t be platonic, because up till now every feeling like that I’ve seen portrayed is romantic. I think I have a “crush” on someone rn, and I think who it is might change things, because they’re a youtuber. (I know I know, feel free to bully me lmao) So I know that there is slim to none chance of even ever meeting them, let alone being friends or dating. So it’s SafeTM. I don’t really think I want dating. It sounds cute in theory, but in action not so much. But I feel like I can’t say that confidently because of my rather small expierence pool. Every relationship I’ve been it, I didn’t like, really like them. It just kinda. Happened. I kept thinking maybe one would work when I found someone I actually liked, or that after a while I would begin to like them back. I’m in a relationship rn, but a bit after the one month mark, I called off the romantic part, because I was just getting more and more uncomfortable with it. I only felt really strong platonic or queerplatonic emotion for the guy I’m with, I think. At first I was fine and happy just to be recognized as important to him, and kept up the happiness with that while ignoring the terror of romance, but after the hype dies down a little more, and the repulsion to romance doesn’t, it gets a bit harder to ignore. We’ve switched to platonic, which I’m much more happy with. I feel a bit sad I can’t give him the romantic feelings he wants, though. I quickly got off topic. Just. Idk how to accept that platonic/queerplatonic feelings can be just as strong as romantic ones. I know it in theory, but far from practice. My brain keeps telling me that someone can’t make me feel all butterfly-y without it being romantic, so I’ve always assumed I got crushes really easily. And another thing too is that I love reading about romance in fanfic, but now that I’ve started questioning, sometimes I just think that “hey, you’ll never feel this” while reading and get sad, because it sounds nice. Idk I just. Help :(

So it sounds like you’ve kind of got it figured out already these crushes probably aren’t romantic. And honestly my guess would be that it’s a squish, which can have a lot of the same symptoms as romantic attraction, except the one big difference that it’s completely platonic.

Honestly it’s hard, we grow up in this culture that tells us every single attraction feeling is romantic and when you don’t experience romantic attraction it’s so easy to mistake other types of attraction as romantic attraction. And add on to that the pressure for romance and romantic partners to be the most important thing and it can mess with our heads.

For dealing with these feelings, definitely read up on amatonormativity, and especially on it from the perspective of aro people. And a lot of aro bloggers talk about this, and you can search through tumblr or goog amatonormativity aromantic and you’ll get a lot of results. But you can also follow blogs that talk about this sometimes too. But learning the theory behind it can help with unlearning.

Another thing that can help a lot is look at what messages you’re getting from the people around you/media you consume. So if there’s people in your life who are just really romance/partner obsessed, and really buy in to things like ‘the one’ and ‘soulmates’ either figuring out other things to talk about or spending less time around them can help. Romance in shows/movies also tends to be really amatormative too, and just lean heavily on that ‘this is the only way to be happy/everyone has a one’ kind of stuff, and for now I’d recommend avoiding it completely, including fanfiction.

This isn’t forever, just until you’re in a better place emotionally and you can handle it better. But taking a break when it’s physically hurting is a really good idea.

And then to replace it, focus on other interests. Most people are really interested in something that has nothing to do with romance, and you can usually steer conversations to that. Or even other things going on in their life or yours. For media found family stuff is great, anything that involves people slowly becoming close and becoming their main family unit. So like something like Star Trek, but honestly there’s a lot of good stuff. Family focused stuff can be good too if you like that, and there’s some good shows/movies centered around family.

But basically you’re training your brain to recognize the importance of platonic relationships and seeing how meaningful those can be too. And the more you do the more you’ll believe it emotionally, and the less not having a romantic relationship will hurt.

Personally I tend to look at romance a bit like chocolate, and people go on about how amazing chocolate is, and there are some people who just don’t like, and will never like it. And even if they force themselves to tolerate it, they still won’t get the same meaningful experience out of eating it that someone who really loves it will. And that’s also OK because there’s a lot of other food, and there’s a lot of other things to enjoy that have nothing to do with food at all. And frankly not liking or even not eating chocolate really isn’t that big a deal. And neither is not really getting anything out of having romantic relationships, because there’s a lot of other ways to find happiness, and a lot of other things that can be really fulfilling. Romance is great for some people, but it’s not the big most important thing in the world it’s made out to be.

Other things you can do could be hanging out in aro spaces/meeting other aros, reading aro media, etc. And that can help too with realising that a lot of people are aro and happy, and are comfortable being aro. And just in general can give you people you can relate to who are similar to you.

But yeah hopefully that’s helpful, and gives you a direction to go in. (Also there is nothing wrong with being attracted to youtubers! Don’t worry.)

All the best, and good luck!

#Anonymous

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bluemoonbeam15 · 3 years

Text

A Monster Part 6

As a side note, I'm working on the playlists for the characters a little bit more in my search for some new inspiration. I'll share them once I have about 4 hours worth of listening for them, that way any of you can feel free to use them for your own inspiration.

Also, the playlist I made for Flik and Atta will be edited a bit because, in all honesty, I didn't really strategize the songs. I kinda just said, "Oh, this talks about love. Why not?" So yeah, I'll be editing it to make it fit their personal relationship better.

This part also took me a bit longer since there was some research needed before I could write it. For the record, everything in here regarding Hopper's condition is accurate. I went to an MD article where it discusses the topic further. I'll put the link in case any of you are interested or just wanna fact-check me XD.

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If they had just been given a moment longer...Just one more minute to get the medicine...Everything would be fine.

Dr. Flora kept a good distance from the group, her head lowered in shame. In all her years of nursing she'd never given a wrong diagnosis. How could she have neglected the signs? Of course, she'd only ever healed ants. She could count on one hand the times she'd nursed another species back to health.

She looked down at the grey fungi in her hands. A generous piece had been fed to Hopper the best it could before his body completely shut down. Had she realized the problem sooner the situation may be different.

Serratia marcescens. A disease she had rarely encountered while working with ant anatomy. The only thing that triggered her memory was a grasshopper she'd worked on many years ago. He had shown the same symptoms as Hopper...not to mention the same fate. It wasn't until they had done an autopsy on the once-feral that they found the bacteria in his digestive system. A natural bacteria grasshoppers already carried but still found themselves a victim to in rare cases.

The only thing to potentially stop it? Penicillium. If the bacteria didn't gain too much resistance to it, there would have been a chance the fungi would work. But now...looking at the lifeless body on the bed...it seemed it was too late either way.

"I'm sorry, Hopper," she fought the heartache. Nurses had to desensitize themselves to death. It was part of the consequences of their job. But the cries of the others wasn't making it easy.

Gypsy had to eventually pull Flik into her arms to keep the ant from suffocating on his own cries. He had resisted at first, trying to go back to Hopper's side, but she held him firm. "He's not dead! I know it!" Flik bit down fiercely.

She couldn't say anything to refute him. Oh, to have the kind of faith that Flik had. Even with death laid out right in front of his eyes he refused to believe it. And she wanted desperately to believe it as well. Molt dug his claws into his head, hoping the physical pain would distract him. Without realizing it, he stood and swung a fist at the wall. The action didn't register until the anger began to subside. His hand burned. His eyes burned. This rage burned.

Was this what Hopper felt ever since mom died? This hatred for life...no...the hatred of being alive. To live when someone so close to you didn't get to. A hand settled on his shoulder and he barely glanced back to see Manny. Molt took a shaky breath and stepped back from the wall.

Phyllis swallowed and looked away from Hopper's body, "We should get him moved--"

"No!" Flik resisted against Gypsy again, "He's not dead, I know it! H-He's Hopper! Name one time he's ever given up!"

"Flik--"

"Don't patronize me!" he hissed, "You can't name a single time! Go ahead and give up on him but I won't! You believe me, right Molt?"

Molt couldn't tear his gaze away from Hopper. He clenched his fists and squeezed his eyes shut, "I put all my faith in him, Flik...I gave it all to him that I can't find any in myself now." He looked to the inventor with bloodshot eyes, "I was an idiot to believe that Ma would make it. Shame on me if I believe it a second time..." Molt turned and made his way to leave the room.

"Wait!"

The grasshopper halted and looked back. Flik kept wide eyes trained on Hopper's body. He followed his gaze and saw it...like dye in water the coloration began flowing back into Hopper's features. Suddenly, a cough jarred Hopper and he took in a sudden breath of air through the fit.

Darkness covered half his sight again. He felt weak again, frail, temporary. But he blinked back into focus and not a second later felt a weight upon his chest. It wasn't a suffocating weight...Flik didn't weigh enough for that. The ant was hugging him tightly and crying like he'd never heard before. "I-I knew it! I knew you weren't dead!" He sat up again and it was as if a light switch went off. He shoved Hopper with what he may have thought was a lot of force, "Don't scare me like that!"

Hopper managed to sit up, holding a hand to his head as dizziness nearly overtook him. "S-Sorry," he spoke almost sarcastically, voice hoarse, "I'll be sure to tell you when I'm about to die next time."

A bigger force had him pushed back down on his side. Molt, however, did have a suffocating hold that made even Hopper jealous at times. He patted the top of his brother's head where it nestled by his own, "O-Okay...I can't breathe."

Molt still waited a second before loosening, "I swear if ya ever do that again I'll...I'll...well I don't know b-but I'll do somethin'!"

"You all do know I can't just not die, right?" Hopper gave a lighthearted laugh, the burn in his throat still present but that wouldn't stop him from trying to clear the air.

"Yeah, well, try harder," Molt nuzzled the crook of his brother's neck, refusing to let go.

Hopper found himself completely enveloped between Molt and then Gypsy as she pressed her forehead against his, tears rolling down her face. "I thought I lost you," she cupped the side of his face, "don't ever scare me like that again."

He gave a short laugh as she showered his face with kisses, "Yes ma'am."

Phyllis tugged at his ankle, "Young man, you nearly gave me a heart attack! We almost had a funeral for you!"

Hopper just smiled, "Aw, you guys do care. Shame too, I had a few songs in mind I wanted you guys to play during the service."

"You almost died and you're laughing about it?" Molt gave his brother an incredulous look.

They...oh...they thought...they didn't know...

"What? What's wrong?" Molt took in Hopper's worried look.

He hesitated before diverting his gaze, "Um...I...well I...got to see mom again."

Everyone went silent.

"Ma?"

Hopper pursed his lips, "She, uh, told me that it wasn't my time yet. Apparently, I've got a part to play still in this world." He gave a short laugh but no one spoke. It was deadly silent.

Gypsy looked distraught, "You actually died?"

"W-Well I guess it all depends on how you look at it--"

"Hopper you died!" Flik shoved him again and he choked on a sob. "Do you not realize how serious that is? You--You could have never come back! We could have lost you forever!"

"No, I get it, really, it's just--"

"What if you hadn't come back, Hopper?" Molt ranted, "That disease could have killed you! What if the medicine hadn't worked?"

"Guys, you don't understand--"

"Death isn't a game, boy," Manny had his hands on his hips, "Heaven knows, if that disease--"

"I chose to come back!"

They blinked. "What do you mean?" Gypsy furrowed her brow.

Hopper struggled to find the words, "I...well exactly what I said! I chose to come back. M-Mom came to convince me to turn around...to not cross over. A-And I did...I chose to come back..."

Molt sat back on his haunches, taking it all in, "So...you could have stayed with Ma...and you came back? B-But you always said you wanted to be with her again."

"And I do," Hopper felt the emotion tugging at his throat, "I really do, Molt. But...I have family here too that I need to protect." He took Molt's hand firmly. "Mom's not going anywhere."

His brother gave a wobbly smile and tackled him in another hug. Hopper smiled and didn't bother trying to push himself back up this time. Gypsy rubbed his arm, "Well forget protecting us. We need to focus on getting you back to normal. You still haven't eaten anything these past weeks."

Hopper smiled wider, "Mom was right about you."

That caught her attention, "About what?"

"I'll tell you later," he took her hand tightly. "I...need to tell both of you something...later, of course," he looked between Manny and Gypsy. The couple exchanged glances.

"Hopper?"

The new voice drew his focus to the ant that made her way through the group. She stopped short of a few feet from the bed. A bandage wound around her torso, dried spots of blood had still seeped through. A purplish bruise covered a good portion of her neck. Hopper's throat went dry. That memory resurfaced again and he had nearly forgotten what nausea felt like before it came back at full speed. He slowly pushed to sit up again now that Molt had let him breathe again. "D-Dawn?"

<><><><><><><><><>

Also, I didn't realize it until I was halfway through writing that dialogue, "You almost died and you're laughing about it?" That I took a step back and pondered as to why it sounded so familiar. Then I remembered the prompt you'd written @funnybuggy and I just thought that was funny XD.

Here are the links, by the way, to all the resources I used to write this part.

https://link.springer.com/referenceworkentry/10.1007%2F978-1-4020-6359-6_944

https://www.millerandzois.com/serratia-marcescens.html

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3592283/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5369031/

#a bugs life #hopper #flik #molt #circus bugs #angst #hurt/comfort #part 6 #series #fanfiction #writing #pixar

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pelham-bits · 4 years

Text

A little (very long) Tory update for @gramizar and anyone else who might follow along with everything...

I can’t really remember what I’ve updated on here so basically late November we hit a WALL as far as riding went. She didn’t want to go forward at all, wouldn’t go to the right, and generally seemed completely depressed and out of it. She was quite grumpy and sensitive to the touch as well. Later on she also became super spooky and generally just unpleasant to ride, which I think was a symptom of the environment (alone with very little stimulation) more than anything. We basically determined at that point she most likely had ulcers again and it was time for a move. She had been kept alone since April despite the barn owners continuously telling us they would turn her out with different horses, which I’m sure was contributing to her stress, and she was running out of hay within hours of being fed and was finishing her entire hay bag well before we would get out again, meaning she was going long periods without feed. We brought up some of these concerns with the barn owner and were told that “she couldn’t have ulcers because she’s fat” and “she can go out with another horse but she won’t get her grain because we won’t be bothered to supervise her.” Also “she can see other horses so she’s fine.” As well, because the barn owner all of a sudden decided she was fat, they cut down her hay even further without our permission. This is a horse who was being fed $240/month of weight gain feed and supplements, I would have happily cut down on any of those first.

So basically we decided to look for another barn and didn’t want to start ulcer treatment until we had that sorted out, which basically meant she just got the rest of December/first two weeks of January off. We did a lot of slow in hand work to hopefully build some core stability. The saddle fitter came out mid-December and found that her jump saddle was too narrow so we switched back to the dressage saddle with a shimmed pad, which hopefully will help her out as we bring her back into work.

Vet came out end of December and she was showing a consistent lameness on the right hind that was worse than it had been in the past, so we injected the diagonal pair that has consistently been an issue; the right hind fetlock and the left front knee. Even though she wasn’t really lame on the left front (that was mostly resolved with coffin injections and shoes) she was still a bit stiff, and the joint fluid was extremely liquidy so it was likely a good decision. Did they make a difference? Jury is still out. I’ll get her back into work over the next few weeks and then have the vet take a look sometime in Feb (let’s have one month vet bill free 🤞🏼). I still suspect she needs her stifles done but we’ll see if the vet sees improvement from just the fetlock. Vet also agreed with the ulcer diagnosis, so we decided to start treatment 2 weeks before we left. That way she gets two weeks of full tubes of Gastrogard after the move to cover the trailering and initial stress of the moving, and then she’ll get three weeks of half tubes and four weeks of quarter tubes to cover the rest of the settling in period and make sure the ulcers are gone.

She has been ridden twice since being at the new place and is definitely doing a lot better. She’s a bit stiff but I think it’s the result of being out of work for awhile, plus a fairly tough trailer ride, and sorting out the herd dynamics with her new pals (she had a pretty good bite on her side today, although it didn’t seem to be too sensitive). I’ll get chiro and massage out for her soon. The ulcer meds are kicking in, she has 24/7 hay, and loves being out with the horses so I definitely think her attitude is better as well. Definitely less spooky at least. Right now it’s just a matter of constantly trying to retrain her posture and way of going to help support her joints, but also get her joints sorted out enough to help her do that. Obviously if she’s in pain she’s not going to work productively, but she also creates pain by defaulting to such poor posture. We do daily carrot stretches and proprioception exercises to try to engage her core and help her out. If we continue having issues with soundness I am considering trying her on Previcox, as we seem to be having a hell of a time trying to narrow down her problem areas and I can only afford so many injections. I think last ones would be stifles and then hocks, and that’s pretty much all the options in that department. If anyone wants to donate a bone scan let me know!

Anyways hopefully things continue to improve with the better environment at the new barn, but you never really know with Tory 🙄

#Tory #ottb #January 20 2021

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leviathanswingman · 4 years

Text

love is a losing game, chapter 4: jealousy is an ugly beast

“We can push you in on Wednesday at 10am, will that be alright?“

“Yes, that should work out, thank you.“

“Is there anything else I can-“

“Lucifer!“

Lucifer abruptly ended the call before Asmodeus, who had rudely thrown himself over his big brother, could have the chance to catch a glimpse at the caller ID on the display of his DDD. Although it was hardly a serious manner, Lucifer definitely didn't need his brothers all up in his business, causing a commotion because he had just scheduled an appointment with his doctor.

Everything would probably turn out to be fine anyway. Physically, Lucifer didn't feel much different than usual. He was strong and healthy, if it weren't for those strange spells of nausea and queasiness he'd been experiencing ever since Saturday morning.

Normally, he wasn't one to immediately run to the doctors at the tiniest of ouches, but this time, he knew something wasn't right.

His symptoms weren't merely physical. It was as if this horrible nausea was deeply anchored within his bones. Every time it flared up Lucifer's skin bristled with an inexplicable longing, ached for something that was just out of reach but also not quite unreachable yet.

The fact that Lucifer himself had neither knowledge nor control over this bothersome sickness of his drove him up the wall. He was not used to being clueless and he had unanimously decided that cluelessness was a feeling he did not agree with. So he had simply decided, if he didn't know what was going on, then why waste his time unnecessarily worrying about it if there were licensed professionals to clear his mind?

Asmodeus was still draped over Lucifer's body, standing on his tiptoes with his chin resting on Lucifer's shoulder. Admittedly, Asmodeus was surprised to see that Lucifer hadn't shrugged him off already. As usual, Asmo was presently aware of the fact that most of his brothers didn't so much as appreciate his little shows of affection. Generally, affection was pretty much lacking in their family. For Asmo however, being touchy-feely was his sole way of conveying emotions. Due to his own nature he was easily misunderstood and because of that fact, he had learned to rely on his body instead. It was easier that way anyway.

After a moment Lucifer stiffened and pushed Asmodeus off.

As he removed himself from his older brother out of the corner of his eye he saw Lucifer sliding his DDD back in his back pocket. There was nothing particular about it, yet Asmo found himself suddenly filled with unease.

“Are you ready? It's been so long since we last went out together! If I remember correctly we last went out back in the celestial-”

Lucifer sighed deeply as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Do not forget that I am here to keep an eye on you, Asmodeus. Do not mistake my kindness for foolishness. If I see you acting out of line I will not hesitate to drag you back to your room and let you rot in there.”

Asmodeus flashed his brother one of his trademark smiles. “Noted! Can we go now? I don't want to keep everyone waiting.”

With another sigh Lucifer pulled his coat a little closer to his body. “Of course, lead the way.”

They walked for around 20 minutes before they arrived in front of one of the clubs Asmodeus was a regular at. The air was crispy clean and it took Lucifer all he had not to shiver. He hated that he had to be here, but in the end, there wasn't much he could do about that now. After all, this was his very own way of doing damage control. If all it took to keep Asmodeus from blabbering to his brothers was a night out then Lucifer would make damn sure the night would pass without any issues.

Asmo strutted towards the bouncer with a grin on his face. The bouncer, who was apparently already acquainted with Asmodeus, greeted him with quick kisses to each cheek. They exchanged pleasantries for a while and Lucifer found himself mustering the mingling club goers with much disdain. Instead of having a nice evening in the music room, surrounded by some relaxing classic music with a good cup of tea where he could regret Friday's mistakes in peace, this was how he had to spend his Monday evening.

“Lucifer, come on!” Asmodeus exclaimed, finally done with his chit-chat with the bouncer. He waved his big brother towards him, a club stamp already drying on the back of his hand.

In this moment, Lucifer decided he really despised all of this.

With an exasperated sigh he pulled off his gloves and walked towards the bouncer, who gave him an intimidated smile before grabbing his hand and pressing a wet stamp on the back of it. The bouncer held onto Lucifer's hand for a second too long and Lucifer quickly retracted his hand as he felt that familiar sense of nausea crawl up his spine again.

“Oh, sorry Lord Lucifer, Sir! It's just that-” the bouncer stammered as Lucifer raised an eyebrow at him. “You have very pretty hands.”

Lucifer could hear Asmo snickering in the back as he subconsciously rubbed his hand and took a step back. H nodded courtly before following his little brother into the club, slightly taken aback. What was that about?

They made their way through the crowd of demons who were lingering at the bar and on the dance floor, happily swaying to whatever ear-demolishing electronic music was playing at the moment. As he followed Asmodeus Lucifer rubbed his temples. At the end of the evening he would be rewarded with a splitting headache, he was quite certain of that.

As they reached their table they were greeted by a flock of demons Lucifer had never met before. Asmodeus went around the table once, exchanging pleasantries with every single one of them. Lucifer simply sat down after having acknowledged the round with a welcoming, yet simultaneously distant greeting.

The waiter came around and took their orders. Lucifer ordered nothing but a tall glass of water. After all he was here to keep an eye on Asmodeus' behaviour and make sure that things didn't escalate as they had way too often these past weeks.

Hours passed and except for Lucifer having to deny the advances of a particularly eager demon who attended the mixer, nothing out of the ordinary had happened. He leaned back in his seat and managed to relax a bit.

All evening, he had felt this never stopping nausea tingle along his every cell and despite his best efforts to ignore it, he remained all to aware of the sensation.

From minute to minute he found himself increasingly more annoyed with the demons Asmodeus chose to hang out with. They were pushy, shameless and didn't seem to care all that much about the fact that Lucifer didn't feel the need to participate in their incessant flirtations. How Asmodeus managed to deal with them so easily, Lucifer couldn't tell.

A while ago, Asmodeus had left the table with two somewhat intoxicated demons, ready to let loose on the dance floor. Lucifer kept a stern eye on them, but remained stagnant in his seat. He had told Asmodeus that he didn't feel the need to dance, which was nothing more than a lie yet also nothing less than a truth.

To be quite honest, he had remained at the deserted table mostly to make sure no one would have their way with the drinks. Of course, demons had more loose morals than humans did, but that didn't mean demons with highly questionable intentions were non extinct among their kind.

Lucifer took out his DDD to work on an assignment he had transferred to his phone before he had left.

Just as he was about to start, Asmo returned, slightly sweaty and out of breath. “Am I doing good, Lucifer?” he asked as he scanned the table for his drink, only to find it empty. “Guess I might as well order another one,” he huffed as he turned around, looking to see if there was a waiter nearby.

Lucifer put his phone back on standby and gave his little brother a once over. “I hardly think you-” he started, but was interrupted by the crowd suddenly going wild.

Asmo looked around, hoping to figure out what had caused the sudden commotion. In the end, he didn't have to search for all too long.

Lord Diavolo, Solomon, Simeon and Barbatos were just entering the club, all three of them with club stamps shining bright red on the back of their hands.

For a moment, Lucifer stared at the entrance without moving. He hated to be caught off guard and this was so much more than he had ever expected from this night, in the negative sense.

Meeting eye to eye for the first time after Diavolo had ditched Lucifer after an apparent one night stand was most definitely not on top of Lucifer's list of most favourable outcomings for a Monday night. Although he knew he would be alright in the long run, after all he took pride in being professional at all times, he would have preferred to be able to actually prepare for this meeting.

A waiter passed by the table and Asmodeus quickly waved them over. If one didn't know Asmodeus you would almost think he was panicking in the way his hands started to shake as he caught a glance of the commotion-causing guests.

Perhaps he was simply overly desperate for another drink.

“Another gin and tonic, please?” he forced out as he tucked his hair behind his ear with shaking fingers.

Lucifer looked at Diavolo one more time and without wanting to, ever so rudely and unasked for, he remembered firm muscles and even more than that; soft fingers tracing the delicate scars beneath his shoulder blades. Plump lips grazing along the nape of his neck. That deep, honeyed voice sinking through his ear canal right into his brain, implanting itself in there, like a parasite you had subconsciously invited in yourself.

The feeling of nausea doubled in the span of a second and all of a sudden, Lucifer's field of vision went blank. He gripped the edge of the table harshly, his nails digging into the cheap tablecloth, leaving behind ugly rips in red, slightly sticky plastic. After a few moments his sight cleared up again and his eyes focused on the waiter who was still waiting diligently in front of the table.

“Make that two. Go heavy on the demonus.”

“O- of course, sir. I will be right back!” As the waiter power walked back to the bar Lucifer allowed himself a second to breathe.

“Of all nights they chose to abandon their duties, why did it have to be this one,” he grumbled to himself as he sat down again, an unsettling feeling manifesting in his chest.

“Who are you telling that,” Asmo sighed as he dropped down onto the chair next to Lucifer. “Aphrodite has it out for me, I'm telling you.”

They both just sat there for a moment, united in both of their troubles, each lost in their own grief until the waiter gently placed two tall glasses of gin and tonic in front of them.

“Anything else?”

“No, I think we're good.”

That simple statement almost made Lucifer scoff. He was not even close to good. Just about now he was regretting every single decision in his life that had lead him to this point. If he hadn't given in to temptation he wouldn't be in this mess of a situation right now. If he hadn't given in, everything would still be proper and right and he didn't have to dread seeing Diavolo's annoyingly handsome face in public.

Lucifer grabbed his drink without hesitation and was joined by Asmodeus almost immediately.

“Cheers,” his little brother said with his voice uncharacteristically bleak and bland.

“Cheers,” Lucifer retorted in the same manner. The clink of their glasses filled the room as they were approached by that certain group of people they had both dreaded to see so much.

“Oh, Lucifer! It's rare to see you out of your office,” Simeon greeted. “In a club nonetheless.”

“I am solely here to keep an eye on Asmodeus,” he swiftly answered.

To an outsider, there wouldn't be anything particularly strange about the way their interaction went. Both parties were behaving in the most civil of manners, almost routinely so.

Although nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary, in his mind, Lucifer found himself running through possibility after possibility after every single interaction. He had already decided that he would simply pretend that Friday night had never happened. Still, it was much more difficult than that, since there was a stark difference between forgetting and acting as if he had forgotten. Every single one of his words was thought over precisely and calculated properly.

Still, there was a conflict inside of him that was still at war, looking for a way out.

Ignoring Diavolo was not a solution. After all, this was Diavolo he was talking about. Diavolo, the demon prince himself. Diavolo, the man who had lent his hand to Lucifer when he was at his lowest point in life. The man Lucifer had subsequently dedicated his life to.

However, there was that certain part of Lucifer that just couldn't let got. Even though he didn't have the right to feel as if he had been hurt, his heart told him otherwise. And this, Lucifer refrained to deal with because he knew, he did not have the right to feel as if he had been wronged. Neither him nor Diavolo had ever so much as hinted at the possibility of them being more than simple friends or partners. Accepting the right to feel wronged would be an act of utmost arrogance and entitlement, an act Lucifer could not pull off in all honesty. His arrogance had put him in this situation in the first place.

Lucifer took a big gulp of his gin and tonic as he watched Barbatos, Diavolo and Simeon join them at the currently vacant table. He felt the demonus run down his throat, spreading a comfortable heat in his stomach.

“It's been a while since we've all been out together, albeit today was unplanned,” Simeon started as he flicked through the menu with much interest. “So let's enjoy ourselves for once, hmh?”

“Certainly,” Barbatos agreed before he shifted his attention to Lucifer. “There is one question I would like to ask Lucifer though, if that is quite alright.”

Diavolo nodded his head as he grabbed a menu as well and started to scan the pages. “There's no need to ask for permission, just go ahead.” The demon prince kept his head buried in the menu and avoided any eye contact with his right hand man. Despite everything, Lucifer was not surprised. He had almost expected Diavolo to behave in such a manner.

“Splendid. I found myself quite taken aback by your sudden request to cancel Asmodeus' trip to the farms. The last time we conversed you seemed quite eager to send him there. What prompted you to change your mind, if I may ask?”

Lucifer looked at Barbatos, his eye twitching in annoyance. There was no fooling him. Logically speaking, there was no reason whatsoever for Barbatos to be asking for information. Due to his nature, Barbatos was quite literally all-knowing. If he asked for certain pieces of information that meant most certainly that there were ulterior motives involved.

“We have found an agreeable compromise, that is all. Take it as a sort of probation,” Lucifer answered just as Asmodeus chimed in, empty glass in hand.

“If I manage to behave I'll get rewarded, can you believe that?!”

Solomon shot Asmodeus a strange look that Lucifer certainly didn't miss as the waiter returned once again, ready for their orders.

Perhaps there was a bit more to Asmodeus' acting out than he had first expected. Lucifer stared at Solomon for several seconds for good measure, making sure that the sorcerer was aware of the fact that he had been caught red handed

Solomon returned his gaze without any hesitation.

For a moment an almost awkward silence filled the table before Diavolo started to blabber on about this and that, successfully clearing the awkward aura.

As the others lost themselves in the comfort of idle chitchat Solomon watched Lucifer for another moment before slowly nodding his head towards a far-away corner of the club. Lucifer took note of the action and nodded shortly. He didn't know why Solomon would feel the need to speak to him in private, but if this was what it took to get Lucifer away from that damn table he would certainly not miss that opportunity, even if that meant being forced to have a one on one with the shady sorcerer that your little brother was most certainly in love with.

Although Lucifer hadn't had more than half of his drink he felt nauseous with every additional second of Diavolo acting as if nothing had happened and failing ever so disgracefully with that one simple task of his. Whenever Lucifer so much as turned his head away from the demon prince he could feel those honey coloured eyes mustering him up and down, as if they were searching for an answer to a question they themselves didn't quite know.

Lucifer excused himself and left the table, heading towards the direction Solomon had hinted at. After a few minutes of waiting Solomon joined him. They stared at each other for several moments before Solomon spoke up.

“Sorry for the intrusion, but I felt inclined to speak up.”

“Speak up about what, Solomon? I do not have time for any of your games, so just spit it out while you are at it. I am really not in the mood tonight,” Lucifer answered.

“Your aura. It has changed.” There was a strange shimmer to Solomon's eyes. “But you're already aware of that, aren't you?” He crossed his arms in font of his chest and observed Lucifer, looking for a reaction.

“I do not know what you are taking about.” Despite his words Lucifer cursed inwardly. There was only one thing Solomon could possibly be alluding to. And of course, Lucifer had noticed the change. Hell, he had even scheduled a doctor's appointment because of it. Solomon was talking about that nauseating feeling which seemed to follow Lucifer no matter where he went. What else could he be talking about. There was no way those symptoms had conveniently appeared Saturday morning right after Diavolo had left him. They were too specific and too well timed to be nothing more than your common symptoms of sickness, Lucifer was painfully aware of that. Still, a part of his mind had tried to deny the facts until Solomon had decided to open his mouth. With -although an unasked for- second opinion there was no way for Lucifer to deny them anymore. Those were the consequences he now had to face, whether he wanted to or not.

“I did not tell you this to confront you, I just thought it was something you should be aware of. After all-”

“I appreciate the concern,” Lucifer threw in, interrupting Solomon in the process, “but your help is not needed here. Everything is under control. Now would you mind going back to the others before Asmodeus starts to worry?”

Solomon turned around to make his way back to their table, but was stopped by Lucifer catching his wrist in a strong hold.

“I do not appreciate seeing my brothers get hurt, so show some decency and treat him well,” Lucifer threatened, his voice a low grumble against Solomon's ear.

Solomon did not move. He did not have to ask who Lucifer was talking about. Of course he had noticed Asmodeus' erratic behaviour these past weeks but in all honesty, Solomon didn't see how he was involved in that affair. But still, he worried and to some extent, he could tell Lucifer was also acting out of a place of worry. So Solomon stood his ground and locked eyes with Lucifer.

“Although I think you are barking up the wrong tree here, I can assure you of one thing.” He shook Lucifer's hand off. “I would never hurt him.”

They stared at each other for another moment before they both pulled back and made their way back to their table, the air around them tense and quite uncomfortable.

“Where have you been?” Asmo whined as he saw the two of them finally return to the table.

“There was something we had to talk about, but it's all settled now,” Solomon answered as he slid into the seat next to Asmo, who seemed to be fairly drunk and threw his arms around Solomon sloppily as soon as the man had sat down.

Lucifer was once again nursing his drink as he lost himself in a senseless yet still enjoyable conversation with Simeon and Barbatos. Strangely and suddenly, he felt an uncomfortable sensation starting to settle in the pit of his stomach. It was an unexpected, ugly thing, tearing and pulling at his innards for no apparent reason whatsoever. Lucifer halted in his conversation and as his head shot up in surprise, his eyes unintentionally focused on Diavolo, who was lounging at the bar, lost in a conversation with one of the bartenders.

From afar, Lucifer could see that loopy, careless smile on Diavolo's face that he -even though he would be caught dead admitting it out loud- had grown somewhat fond of, as the demon prince chatted with the bartender. As Lucifer watched them, he saw the bartender reach out until his hand lingered on Diavolo's neck for far too long, in a manner that could solely be described as flirtatious.

All of a sudden, Lucifer felt like his entire body was sinking far down into the ground, rotting with every second he forced himself to watch the couple. He had no right to feel this way, yet he still couldn't rip his eyes off the sight of Diavolo ever so comfortable and ever so happy, lost in thought with that handsome bartender of his.

Jealously was an ugly beast. Right then and there, Lucifer couldn't hold his thoughts at bay, couldn't control them and file them away in neat little drawers, put them in categories of professional, acceptable and unacceptable. For once, his composure slipped and as it did, his head started to spin dangerously.

“I will be right back,” he excused himself quickly as he made a straight line towards the bathroom.

He tumbled into one of the stalls and quickly locked the door behind him, not caring about whether he had been seen by anyone or not. If anything people would just assume he'd had a bit too much demonus after all.

Lucifer was forced to his knees as his head buzzed with impeding darkness and his legs shook violently. He felt sick to his bones.

It was one foolish night where Lucifer had let his emotions slip and had allowed himself to indulge in what he'd been craving for, nothing more than that.

Even though he hated to admit to his mistakes, Lucifer could now safely say that in the span of one night, his life had turned into a big fucking mess.

The fortunes must really despise me, he mused as he found himself sprawled over a toilet seat, nauseous to the core.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 5, Chapter 6 , Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10

#my writing #obey me!#shall we date? obey me #dialuci #lucifer x diavolo #diavolo x lucifer #angst #hurt #misunderstandings #slow burn #fanfiction #solodeus #sorry but the solodeus part is only implied my pals #lucifer #diavolo #asmodeus #solomon #barbatos #simeon

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pink-peony-princess · 4 years

Text

A Late Night Call

-Katie-

"Shawn" I called into the darkness, wanting the comfort of my boyfriend. We lived together in a house, along with his friends,Brian, Connor and Dave -who also happened to be my older brother.

When no response came, I started to get worried, I had been feeling unwell for the last several days, running fevers and feeling generally blah, but I had just woken up to bad pain in my abdomen. I had always hated being sick- not only because it obviously wasn't fun, but because I had a fear of doctors and hospitals. Something which wasn't helped by the fact my brother, my boyfriend and their friends were all doctors of some description. As a result, I had tried to avoid medical intervention as much as possible for pretty much my entire life, so twenty years, which both Dave and Shawn as Emergency physicians were not happy about.

Swallowing the lump that was now forming in my throat I called out again, "Shawn!" I tried, louder this time, hoping he had just gotten up to use the bathroom.

"Katie?" I heard a sleepy voice ask, before someone switched the lamp on beside my bed, causing me to close my eyes immediately. "Katie, what wrong honey?" I recognised the voice now as my older brother, I could hear the concern in his tone. "The heat pack didn't help?" he asked, sitting beside me and sighing.

"I hurt D," I whimpered, trying to move closer to him to gain some comfort, while not causing myself anymore pain.

"What do you mean it hurts?" he asked, switching into 'doctor mode'. I hated it when he did this, but even I knew that I needed help. Something wasn't right, and my only hope to get it fixed was letting my brother do his job. "I thought you just felt sick?" he asked, taking my hand to check my pulse.

"I did," I started, "Well, I had an achy tummy, around here," I explained, pointing to around my belly button. "But now it's REALLY hurting," I cried, just wanting him to make it stop.

"It's okay, I'm going to call Shawn okay? Bri!" he called, getting up and grabbing my cell phone of my bedside table, speed dialling Shawn's number.

"What's wrong David?" Bri grumbled, "It's two in the morning for goodness sake. I need my sleep man!" Dave just pointed, directing Brian's attention to me silently, waiting for Shawn to pick-up.

"Oh Katie, what's wrong buddy?" he asked, grabbing a tissue from the side table, before sitting down and gently wiping away the moisture that had accumulated from my face.

"Just make it stop!" I begged, trying desperately to find a more comfortable way to lie, trying to ignore the sharp pain that was now my sole focus.

A few more minutes past in which Brian tried, with almost no luck to calm me, telling me that everything would be okay. Dave took the phone away from his ear. "He must be in the middle of a consult, I kept getting the dial tone, I'll try in a few more minutes," he spoke, coming to sit by my side again.

"Care to explain what's going on?" Brian asked, reaching for more tissues, the ones he had been using, now soaked and laying dis-guarded on the mattress.

My brother looked at me sympathetically, before turning his attention to his friend. "I'm not totally sure myself. I just got up to use the toilet and heard her crying and calling out to Shawn."

"What's up Missy?" Brian asked again, trying to get something useful out of me. When I didn't answer for fear of crying again, he sighed, and rested his hand again my forehead. It was calming, having physical contact, something to take my mind of my current state. "Dave, pass me the thermometer," he uttered. "She's got a fever, when was the last time her temperature was taken?" he asked, as he held it in my ear, waiting for it to beep.

"About- three hours ago," Daveresponded.

"Yep thirty-nine on the dot," Dave spoke moving the instrument away from me. "You have quite the fever Katie," he told me, moving to get the water bottle which Shawn had placed on the wardrobe, helping me to take small sips of the liquid.

"No wonder you're feeling so horrendous," Dave chimed as fixed my blanket up.

"Katie, where is the pain exactly?" Bri asked, sitting up, and moving the blanket aside.

"Here," I told him pointing once again to the spots I had shown D.

They shared a dark look between themselves, before Brian spoke up. "Katie, I need you to lie down again okay, I need to have a feel of your tummy." As he said this, Dave helped me to lay back, making sure that I was as comfortable as I could be, given the current situation. "Can I pull this up?" Brian asked, gesturing to my bed-shirt once I was situated the way they wanted me.

"He' will be as gentle as possible okay," Dave, tried to reassure me, taking my hand.

He felt around for a minute, before hitting the one spot on my right side. The pain was unbearable, and I nearly broke Dave's hand from holding it so tightly. "Please stop!" I begged, hot tears rolling down my face once again.

"I'm sorry Katie," Brian apologised, pulling my clothes back down.

"What's wrong with me D?" I asked, turning to my brother, who was now watching Brian very carefully.

"I can't be sure-" Brian started, "Dave, she hasn't had her appendix out has she?" he checked, watching me closely.

"No, she hasn't. Is that what you're thinking?" he asked, reaching for my phone that he had placed back only moments earlier.

"Well, I can't be sure until we run the usual tests, but when I just felt around that section of the abdomen was firm, and given the pain and fever, it wouldn't be surprising."

I couldn't work out if it made me anxious that Brian was talking like this. On the one hand, he was one of the best surgeons in the area, and the head of General Surgery at the hospital the guys worked at. On the flip side though, he was talking about my appendix, and running tests, and although I didn't understand exactly what this meant for me at that moment, I knew it probably wouldn't be good.

"I'm going to call Connor, let him know what's happening, try to get through to Luke again," he told Dave as he got up and left the room.

The room was quite for a few moments again, as Dave called Shawn again, this time though, it connected and I heard Shawn's muffled voice down the line.

"Shawn yeah it's me Dave, can you come home, it's urgent. Katie's woken in bad pain, we're thinking it could be her appendix, but she's been asking for you for the better part of twenty minutes now, and I doubt she'll let anyone else move her," he was quiet for a moment, before turning and handing the phone to me. "He wants to talk to you."

-Third Person-

"Shawn?" Katie whispered, down the line.

Hearing his love in so much pain broke the young doctor's heart. "I'm right here babe. I'm on my way," he spoke as he ran out the main doors and into the rain. Only stopping momentarily to let an emergency vehicle through.

"It hurts," Katie cried, and he could hear the desperation in her voice. She was usually strong, so for her to be in this emotional state, he knew the pain must be bad.

"Just hang tight for a few, I'll be there soon, Dave will look after you."

Dave and Brian, who had both heard the end of their conversation smiled.

The hospital was only five minutes from the house, but it took what felt like eternity for Shawn to come crashing through the door.

Katie could see from his attire that Shawn had been on-call, and immediately felt bad for pulling her boyfriend away from his responsibilities.

"Oh honey," he whispered, bending down to kneel beside the bed, kissing her forehead gently. "How long has she been like this?" he questioned, turning to his friends.

"I found her like this," Dave explained, pain clear on his face as he watched his little sister with sympathy.

"I'm sorry," Katie muttered, hiding her face in her boyfriend's shoulder, just wanting the world to melt away.

"For what?" Shawn asked, moving back to look at his girlfriend. "There is nothing more important than you," he declared, kissing her gently again.

"I think we need to get you to the hospital Katie-Kat," Dave announced, earning nods of agreement from the others.

"No please," she begged, fear consuming her, her chest tightening at the thought of being in one of the places she hated the most.

"But we'll be able to give you pain meds there, and besides we don't have the right equipment here to deal with this. If something goes wrong, it could be very dangerous babe," Shawn tried to reason, feeling horrible that they couldn't just keep her at home and sort it out there.

"Promise?" she whispered, feeling helpless as she looked between her boyfriend and brother.

"We promise," they responded immediately, before starting to gather the necessary items for the trip to the hospital.

Five minutes later, Katie was wrapped in a blanket, Dave and Shawn having worked together to shift her off the bed, without causing any more pain, something which Katie found miraculous.

"You ready Princess?" Shawn asked, bundling Katie up in his arms, and making his way down to the car. They had decided that it would be quicker to drive, than wait for an ambulance, especially given that they had direct access to the urgent care unit.

Brian had called Connor on the way there, informing him that they would be needing a bed, and possibly an O.R., which Connor had no trouble securing as not only was he Deputy Head of General Surgery at the hospital, and well- respected by his colleagues, but the patient in question was the girlfriend and sister of the two most highly qualified doctors in the area.

The ride to the hospital was not pleasant, every little bump in the road sending white-hot pain through the affected area, Katie, being completely worn out physically and emotionally, was nothing more than a weeping mess when they finally made it to the entrance. Shawn, who had been trying his hardest to keep his hysterical girlfriend calm, so as not to exacerbate her symptoms, let out an auditory sigh of relief when he spotted, his friend, waiting with a gurney, and several nurses.

"She'll be fine mate," Connor promised, just above a whisper so that only Shawn could hear. He nodded, silently thanking his friend for the words of encouragement. Normally he would have had no issue in a situation like this, in-fact, his job entailed this type of situation daily. However, what Shawn was now finding out, was that no-one had told him what it would be like to deal with a loved one in a situation such as this. And It was horrible.

His heart broke into what felt like a thousand tiny pieces, as Katie let out an agonising cry of pain, when she was placed, however gently onto the gurney, it being lead at a rate of knots down the hospital halls and into a free bay.

Stopping to re-gather himself for a moment, he saw Dave, somehow managing to hold himself together, as he held his sister's hand in a silent show of comfort. Shawn really didn't know how he was doing it, but if her own brother could do it, surely, he could too. Shaking the ever-growing dread that was forming at the pit of his stomach, he ran to start assisting in getting Katie into a semi-stable condition.

"I need a standard dosage of pain medication for an I.V." Dave called, going to stand by his sister's side. "I'm going to get some pain medicine in you okay poppet," he spoke, moving the blankets out the way, freeing Katie's hand.

She groaned, but made no effort to move, alarming the four doctors, who knew only too well, how much she would normally fight the idea of needles.

-Katie-

I was aware of everything going on around me, people rushing in an out of the crowded room, the boys ordering fellow doctors and nurses around, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't muster the strength to fight anymore.

Shawn sat by me, as Dave set me up with an I.V., administering a dose of pain medicine, which helped almost immediately.

"How are you feeling now?" he asked, resting his chin on top of my head.

"Hmm," I responded, finally feeling a little more content.

The response seemed to satisfy him, as he went quiet, allowing me to close my eyes momentarily.

I wasn't aware that I had drifted off, but I must have, because the next thing I was aware of, was someone calling my name. When I didn't' respond, they tried again.

"Katie, can you open your eyes for me honey?" This time, I did as asked, blinding light clouding my vision temporarily. "How are you feeling?" Brian asked, standing at the end of my bed, chart in hand.

The room was unfamiliar to me. He must have seen the confusion on my face as he chuckled lightly and came to stand by my side. "We just finished surgery," he spoke, making my eyes go wide.

"What happened?" I croaked, my throat feeling scratchy and dry.

"Connor performed an appendectomy," he responded, as he retrieved his stethoscope. "May I?" he asked. When I nodded, he placed the bell on my chest, listening to my heart.

"A what?" I asked, feeling no more informed. "You had your appendix out," he explained in layman's terms so that I could understand it.

"Oh," I was shocked, I knew that I was in pain, but I didn't realise it had been that bad.

"You're quite lucky actually, it ruptured, we caught it just in time, Shawn and Bri were beside themselves."

"Where?" I asked, wanting to know where they were, but not able to get anymore words out, over-whelming tiredness taking over.

"Cafeteria, they should be back in a minute," he reassured me with a smile.

Right on cue Connor, Shawn and Dave all walked through the door, food in hand. When they saw that I was awake, they all stopped running into one another like a set of dominoes.

Connor recovered the fastest, a smile lighting his face as he came over, "So the sleeping beauty has awoken I see."

Shawn looked as if he had been tasered, literally jumping back, forcing Dave to grab him to stop him hitting the ground. The shock only lasted a millisecond though, and before I could take another breath, he was wrapping me in his arms, pulling me tightly to his chest, as if his life depended on it.

"Shawn, gentle," Brian, warned, laughing at his eagerness, but making no move to stop his mate as he hopped onto the bed beside me, forcing our bodies against one another. Feeling his warmth sent a rush of security through me, and I just sat there in silence for a moment, trying to readjust.

Up close I could see the exhaustion, the toll that this had taken on him, his face looked sullen, his eyes puffy and red from crying. "I missed you so much!" he whispered, resting his head in the crook of my neck and breathing heavily. It was a few moments before I realised that he was crying.

"I'm okay," I spoke, smiling, trying my hardest to convince him.

"I thought I was going to lose you," he admitted, kissing me desperately. "We all did."

"How bad?" I asked, almost scared to know the answer. He just looked at me and shook his head. "How bad?" I asked again, this time turning to my brother.

When he saw that I was addressing him, he rushed over, taking me in his arms, and hugging me, though much more carefully then Shawn had. After a moment, he stepped back, resting his hand on my shoulder. I took hold of his hand with my free one, keeping a firm grip on Shawn

"You coded," he spoke as if the words physically pained him to say. I didn't say anything, in truth, I didn't know how to respond, what do you say when someone tells you that you almost died? Everyone was quiet for a moment, just sat taking everything in, me, tracing the tattoos on Shawn's arm absent-mindedly.

Again, Connor, was the one to break the silence. "Katie, I just need to do your vitals okay, and check your wound, and then we'll let you sleep," he bargained, when I grimaced at the idea of being poked and prodded once again. "Just follow the light," he instructed, having pulled a pen light from the pocket of his scrubs. I did as asked, and after a moment, he put it back, telling me there were no problems.

He was quick, Brian writing everything down on the chart, that he was still holding from when they came in.

"I'm just going to pull this up okay?" he checked that it was okay, before doing so. I winced slightly, earning an apologetic smile from Connor. "That's looking good," he spoke, re-dressing it, and re-situating the blankets so that I was kept warm.

"I'm so glad you're okay," Shawn whispered again, kissing my temple.

"I have to pee," I whispered against his cheek, making him laugh.

"Gee way to ruin a romantic moment," Dave snorted as he sat typing on his laptop, causing me to blush, and hide my face in Shawn's chest

"Nah, it's okay, do you want to use the bathroom?" Shawn queried, moving to get off the bed, before moving the pole which held the fluids out of the way.

"As apose to?" I questioned, feeling confused, as he helped me sit up.

"A bed pan," he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I just stared at him for a moment, "Okay, so that's not going to happen, to the bathroom we go," he laughed, helping me manoeuvrer my way out of bed.

It was a slow process getting to the toilet, but he was patient, helping me to bare the weight where possible. Once I was situated, he turned, giving me privacy to do my business. Once I was done, and I had successfully been transferred back to my bed, I was able to relax a little more.

"Are you in pain?" Dave asked, watching as I shifted around, trying to find a comfortable spot on the hard bed.

I nodded,and within moments he was up and administering another dose of pain relievers in the tube sticking out of my arm.

"Thanks D," I mumbled, sleepily, bunking down, and snuggling into Shawn's side to try and stay warm.

"Here, this should help," I heard Dave say, before something extra soft and warm was placed over me. It felt like an electric blanket.

I hummed, finally content, letting myself drift off.

The next few days were okay, well, in between the hourly vitals checks done by the nurses and the daily dressing changes, and not to mention Dave and Connor forcing me to start walking around, something which I grumbled at them about for a solid half hour after the fact.

Finally, five full days after the operation Dave declared that I could go home on the condition that I promised to take it easy, and rest. After making me swear to it three times, he let Shawn remove my I.V. and help me into a wheelchair for the ride out to the car.

The drive home was quiet,Dave letting me rest my head on him as Shawn drove.

When we got home, they helped me up the stairs, all but ordering me to bed, persuading me by promising that we could eat pizza and watch crappy C grade chick-flicks all night.

As I fell asleep to the rise and fall of Shawn's chest, I found myself thinking just how lucky I really was. Lucky that I was alive, and lucky I had the guys to call family.

Reaching up, I pecked Shawn on the check, him leaning down and kissing back. "What was that for?" he asked, a soft smile gracing his face.

"Love you is all," I sighed, resting my head back on his chest, and letting the world fade out.

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes imagines #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes blurb #doctor!shawn #mendes triplets #werewolf!shawn

30 notes · View notes

illfoandillfie · 4 years

Text

5 Simple Rules For A Successful Fake Relationship: Just Go With It

5 SIMPLE RULES MASTERLIST

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader

Summery: Ben's confession left you stunned but how will it effect your overseas trip to promote the movie? Especially when you have to share hotel rooms with him. And will you let him talk you into meeting the one other person who knows the whole truth of your situation?

Warnings: Same old same old, bit of angst, sexual references but nothing explicit (yet), mentions of smoking

Words: 8908

A/N: This chapter was originally going to have another bit at the end but, once again, I prove how bad I am at estimating word count lmao. Anyway, that just means an extra chapter.

Taglist: @laedymoon @dtfrogertaylor @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @supersonicfreddie @tenement-funstah @taron-egrotten @johndeaconshands @borhapbois

@coni-martina @hardforbenhardy @cubedtriangle @vicouscirce @arianabrashierstuff @pattieboydwannabe @maggieroseevans @theprettyandthereckless

It felt like hours before you could move though the clock on your phone insisted it was only minutes. Ben was right, you couldn’t leave. But you also weren’t sure you should stay. So you dithered on the spot. The notion of sneaking out the back, though people’s yards until you were clear of the paparazzi’s notice popped into your head, but it wasn’t really an option. For one thing your dress was not made for sneaking, not that you could have pulled it off even in a full cat-burglar costume. You took a step towards the doorway but there was nowhere for you to go so you moved back to the couch and sat, perched on the edge. Right where Ben had been moments before. The seat was still warm. You stood up again. Doing nothing was worse than trying to decide what to do, so you began pacing. One end of the room to the other, trying to clear your mind enough to come up with a plan but not enough to think about what Ben had said. You lost yourself in the rhythm of your movement, the soft pad of your bare feet on the wooden floor, the slide as you turned on the ball of your foot and then the steps again. “Y/N,” Ben’s voice startled you to a standstill, the sudden lack of footsteps louder than the pacing had been itself. You turned to face him slowly. He looked smaller than normal. There was a spot on his lip that had clearly been bleeding, torn as he worried it with his teeth. His brow was creased, his mouth turned down. Still in the same clothes, though they were ruffled, probably partly your fault. “Hi,” it was all you could think to say. “I heard you pacing.” “Sorry, I’ll keep the noise down.” “No, that’s not- it’s okay. I just thought, since we’re both clearly awake and since they,” he gestured vaguely towards the front door, “haven’t left yet, I thought you might like a cuppa.” “I didn’t think you drank tea,” “I don’t really, but you do.” You nodded and follow him toward the kitchen, though there was still the urge to run. Ben busied himself pulling out mugs and sugar and milk, boiling the kettle, as you took a seat at the counter. He didn’t say anything more until he was standing on the opposite side of the bench, your mugs between you. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.” “I get why you wouldn’t have wanted to. I wouldn’t have wanted to either.” “Yeah but still,” he took a breath and stared into his mug like there was some sort of answer hidden in it, “I know you’re thinking of leaving as soon as that lot have cleared out but please don’t. I promise I understand where you’re at and I’m not going to try and convince you or to chase you or anything like that. I really am trying not to feel this way.” He looked so worried and sad that before you could second guess yourself you reached across the bench and lay your hand over his, “It’s okay Ben, I know you wouldn’t. I just wasn’t expecting you to drop the L bomb.” “Please don’t hate me,” his voice was heartbreakingly soft and his eyes were pleading, shimmering with near tears, and if you hated anything it was that he could think such a thing. “I could never.” You knew exactly what you’d do, how you’d comfort him, if this was about anyone but you. But it was about you and you weren’t sure if it would be overstepping or making things worse to do it, “Can I hug you?” As soon as you saw him nod you were off your chair, around to his side of the bench, wrapping him up in your arms. His shoulders shook and you felt the damp of tears against your neck, but you didn’t mind, you just hugged him tighter.

You had to tell him to shut up after he’d let you go and immediately begun apologising for it. He smiled a small half-smile and nodded, letting out a slightly shaky breath. “We should get some sleep.” “Probably,” he sighed, “Does that mean you’re staying?” “If you don’t mind.” “Of course not,” Truthfully you felt too exhausted to think about going anywhere. You wished Ben goodnight and headed towards his spare room, that had really become your room, as he was filling a glass with water. With a start you remembered the flowers he’d given you and backtracked towards the front door to get them. They weren’t in great shape, slightly wilted, some stems bent more than they had been when they’d been given to you. All the same you picked them up, carried them back to the kitchen. Ben had gone but there was a tall glass jar on the drying rack that he must have been intending to recycle which made a fine enough vase. You carried them carefully back to your room and placed them on the bedside table before you changed and turned out the light.

The next morning neither of you brought up what happened. He was already awake and cleaning up after his breakfast when you got up and stumbled into the kitchen. You paused in the doorway, but he turned and gave you a single nod and asked if you wanted a coffee. There was an unspoken agreement to pretend that everything after you got out of the car at his place hadn’t happened. You were both tired and drained, but it was easier to write it off as a small hangover than admit to what had actually kept you up late. And, though there were a few slightly awkward moments, slip of the tongue phrases and hesitant touches that might have led somewhere if you let them, it wasn’t hard to fall back into your regular routines as if nothing had changed. The next month passed more or less incident free. You saw Ben as much as you ever had but it was never under the instruction of your agents, just spur of the moment trips to cafes or casual visits to each other’s places while neither of you was working. The tabloids were all over you anyway, there was no need to organise special dates or anything like that. You just made sure to let them see small intimacies that they could read as romantic – fond looks across tables, hands resting close enough to touch. Generally, away from the cameras, you maintained a respectful distance, the only acknowledgement of what had happened that night. Occasionally you allowed yourselves to get closer, a warm hug when Ben found out he’d got the part in the action movie he’d auditioned for, him brushing hair off your face as you sat in the sun reading. Whenever it happened you were left with a tightness in your chest and the overwhelming urge to kiss him again. It confused you, the way just thinking about him made your heart beat faster, how you couldn’t stop thinking about what it had been like straddling his lap with his hands squeezing you under your skirt. If you’d put your symptoms into google it would have turned up pages of information about crushes and compatibility, but that couldn’t be right. You couldn’t actually fancy Ben. Yes, okay, maybe there was some attraction there, but he was an attractive guy and you weren’t blind. You’d known he was handsome since you first saw him at the audition for Edith but that didn’t mean you wanted to jump his bones. It didn’t mean there was any substance to the thoughts. It had to be the job playing tricks on you. Afterall, it had been months since you started pretending to date him, months without so much as considering another person. Your brain was suggestable at the best of times – the nights you’d spent thinking about sleeping with Ben were testament enough – but now, with the knowledge that he was in love with you and having gone so long without anyone else’s affections, it was no surprise you were getting confused. And then there were the rules. Behaviours you’d ruled out. You’d broken about half of them just in the one night. You really only had Rules 5 and 1 still intact. No families, no sex. And humans were infamous for wanting what they couldn’t have. You couldn’t have sex so that’s why you kept thinking about fucking Ben. It wasn’t that you actually wanted to fuck him. It was just the situation, a combination of weird circumstances making you, for want of a better word, yearn for him. If only you could talk about it with someone. You were sure if you just talked though it with someone other than your own idiot brain you’d be able to prove it was situational, for sure. But Ben was the only one you wanted to talk to about it and he was absolutely off limits. It would just get his hopes up, make it harder for him to move on and eventually crush him when you turned out to be right. So you kept a polite distance.

The most interesting thing to happen all month was an in-person meeting with Ben, Peter and Mary to discuss the plans for the promotional tour. If either of them sensed anything was amiss between you, they didn’t mention it. Instead they spent the meeting raving about the success of the story and outlining what was to happen next. “Obviously, you’ll need to share hotel rooms.” “Is that really necessary?” Ben asked, glancing over at you. “Well you have to admit it would look odd if you didn’t, but I understand the concerns.” Peter said, though he’d have no way of knowing the full reason for Ben’s reluctance “You don’t have to worry though. The suites you’ll be in will have a secondary roll out bed that stores under the main one or, if that isn’t comfortable enough, there’ll be a couch as well.” “You’ll also be doing all your interviews together, aside from a couple of phone interviews that will be one on one and a few larger ones with the rest of the cast. The others will be either paired off or in a group for their part of the promotions. Except Claudia, who has a conflict in her schedule that means she won’t be able to join you in the US.” “So, it’ll start here with appearances on a few breakfast TV shows and then a day spent meeting journalists from magazines, newspapers and some entertainment blogs. Then you’ll head out to New York. We’ll email your flight details through to you, but it’ll be an early flight, first class naturally. You’ll have the day you land to yourselves to get settled but it also gives us extra time in case of delays with the flight. After that it’s back to business. Day one is another junket with various American publications and websites. You’ll have to take a few photos but mostly it’ll just be the interviews. The next couple of days are the same but it’ll all be recorded to post online. There’ll be more specific interviews that are a bit spaced out but I’ll get to them in a minute. After you’re done in New York then you have another flight to LA where the process will be pretty much the same. So, specifics. You’re booked to do a few radio interviews in both cities, as well as some more online content.” Peter checked his notes, “The puppy and thirst tweet interviews with Buzzfeed, the autocorrect interview with Wired and also something with Vanity Fair,” “Career timelines. One from each of you, filmed on the same day.” “Thank you, Mary, anything else?” “Vanity Fair also want a sit down interview with the both of you for their website. Plus we’ve got you onto James Cordon and Jimmy Fallon so you’ll have to record those episodes. And then, once you’re back home there’ll be a few more interviews for youtube channels and the like, and GQ are lined up to talk with Ben. It could be a cover; we’re waiting on confirmation. And I think…that covers it,” she snapped her notebook shut. “What sort of questions are going to come up?” you were curious how much of your romance was going to be off limits to the interviewers. “We don’t know specifics but you’re likely to be asked things like how this role was different to others you’ve done, um, what the director was like,” “No, I get that. I more meant questions about us.” Mary thought for a moment before she spoke, “There will of course be some questions relating to your relationship but nothing that any other couple wouldn’t want asked. It’ll be kept to respectful, non-intrusive questions about how you met and working with each other. If any questions are raised that you don’t want to or can’t answer you can always say you’d rather not talk about it.” “You’ve got nothing to worry about. The thing is, if we let anyone ask anything that would be considered too personal, everyone is going to work out that this isn’t real. So it’s in our interests and the studio’s interests, as much as yours, to keep everything above board. Sound good?” “Brilliant, thanks.” “Any other questions?” “Will we have much time off?” Ben asked, “I’ve got a couple of people I wouldn’t mind stopping in to see, if I get the chance.” “Of course. There’ll be some off time between interviews later on in the week and you’ll have most nights free. We’d like for you to go on at least one sit down dinner date, just the usual sort of thing, you know the drill. But other than that you’re free to spend the time that you’re not doing publicity however you want.”

The breakfast shows suited Ben more than they did you. He’d always been an early riser. Though even he admitted having to be up by five in the morning more than once in the week was not what he’d have chosen. But they were a good way to ease into the press tour. They never lasted long, and the questions were always easy and always the same. It was an early indication of which questions you’d receive again and again, the ones you were bound to grow board of. “So, can you give us a quick rundown of what this movie’s about?” “Well we play Andy and Edith who have just gotten engaged and, at the party, decide that, since they’re so good at the whole relationship thing, they should play matchmaker with their friends.” “The only problem is the friends don’t necessarily want to play along and it causes some problems for us.” The plot rundown was always followed by a short introduction to your characters. Then there was always a question aimed at Ben about how different Andy was to previous rolls he’d played. And then a question for you about what attracted you to the role. If you were lucky you’d get a few about the process of filming but more often than not they seemed to be running out of time and skipped straight to the last questions which always revolved around what it had been like to work with each other and how your relationship transfer to real life. The first time you had to answer it was a little awkward. You stuttered over your words and Ben wasn’t much better, but you got through it and by the time you were asked again you had your answers sorted. As predicted, you were able to pull those same answers out during the first junket day. Occasionally you’d get something different. One of the entertainment magazines did a quickfire quiz with all their interviewees which made a nice change, though you were sure your slow answers were because your brain had turned to mush during all the other repetitive moments. By halfway through the day you and Ben had begun playing games to keep yourselves entertained. You’d make bets for small change over dumb things like what the next interviewer would be wearing or how many times you could use the word romantic in a single interview. A few photos were taken, some just you and Ben, leaning against each other or gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes, some with the other cast members which were fun. They broke up an otherwise fairly monotonous day. But it was only the beginning of what would turn out to be a rather long few weeks.

Felicity dropped you to the airport the morning of your flight, fussing over you as if you were moving to the other side of the world rather than visiting. She gave you a tight squeeze in the drop off zone wishing you luck and promising to collect your mail and water your few houseplants in your absence. “Tell that boyfriend of yours to look after you. If anything happens to you it’s his dick on the chopping block.” “You’ve not even met the poor bloke,” you laughed, “he wont have any idea why a mad woman is coming after him.” “Well that’s on you for not introducing me.” “Good thing you’ve got nothing to worry about then.” “I know. He loves you too much to let anything happen to you,” You had to force yourself to keep smiling at the reminder, still dealing with your mixed-up brain and confused desires. Eventually you managed to extract yourself from Felicity, promising you’d text her as soon as you landed. With a final hug you turned and headed inside. Ben was waiting for you a little inside the door, where you’d agreed to meet, both of you falling into your roles easily for the sake of whoever was watching and taking photos. It wasn’t until you were at security that you could drop hands and breathe freely again. Together you headed to your gate, stopping for coffee along the way, and met up with the rest of the cast, as well as the publicists who were organising the trip, which let you subtly put some space between you and Ben. It was fun, or at least as fun as sitting around an airport could be, and when your flight was called you all got up in an excited babble, making sure everyone had the correct bag and ticket. “Now, no funny business you two,” Alfie said pointing a warning finger at you and Ben, “save it for the hotel room.” You rolled your eyes and Ben laughed, both of you assuring him there’d be nothing of the sort. “Maybe just don’t use the bathroom after them,” Amber suggested with a wink. “I think the bigger worry,” you said, “is that Ben’ll try and squeeze in a sneaky smoke. I’ve never seen him go a full twelve hours without one.” “Bullshit! She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

Your seat was beside Ben’s in the middle of the cabin and gave you plenty of space to spread out and get comfortable. A wall wrapped almost completely around the two seats to give you some privacy which was nice though you were sure you’d have to endure a few more jokes about what mischief you might be getting up to. But that was a train of thought you definitely did not need to be on. Especially when you literally couldn’t get away from Ben. You shook your head and looked around, waving at a couple of the others as they were led to their own closed off seats, but the image of what might happen were you actually dating Ben stuck. A flight attendant came around offering glasses of champagne as well as pyjamas, slippers and an amenity bag. You gladly accepted the drink, hoping it would help you relax more. “You’re not a nervous flyer, are you?” Ben asked quietly. “What? Oh, no, definitely not. Just…excited to get going.” “Good. I’m not either but I do get a little tense with the landings. So if I like, seem off towards the end of the flight that’s probably why.” “Thanks for the heads up,” you laughed, “if it helps I’ll let you squeeze my hand.” You instantly regretted the offer, inwardly cringing, but Ben was gracious enough to pretend he hadn’t heard it. Instead he opened his amenity bag and began examining the contents, pulling out a tube of shaving gel and giving it a sniff. Thankfully, the rest of the flight went smoothly. Ben was the perfect buddy for such a long flight. Calm and prepared, a host of potential time killers packed into his carry-on luggage. Shortly after take-off, he offered you a controller from his Nintendo Switch so you could play a few rounds of Super Smash Bros. It caught the attention of the others and you ended up sharing the controllers round in a tournament style battle for victory. A little later he pulled out a magazine of puzzles, inviting you to help him solve crossword clues and crack codes, your heads together as you leaned over each page and bickered about how to spell the answers. But he was also equally happy not talking, letting you do your own thing while he did his. It made you glad he was okay with just being friends. You did love him, just not in the way he meant, no matter what Felicity and your stupid subconscious said, and if you’d had to miss out on everything that came with being his friend because of this one thing, it would have made the whole situation ten times more distressing. It was rough enough as it was. When it came time to sleep Ben raised the privacy screen between your beds. You knew it was for the best and you wouldn’t have argued about it, but you couldn’t help the pang you felt, like you were being shut out. There had been a time when he would have offered to cuddle, even if it was said jokingly. But of course he wouldn’t now. You wished he would though. The discomfort of an unfamiliar bed with all the odd sounds and smells of an airplane made it hard to settle completely, but you wondered whether being able to cuddle Ben as you drifted off wouldn’t have helped. He was warm and familiar, and you associated him with your home as much as his. Perhaps that’s the sort of comfort you needed.

You landed around eight in the morning and were greeted by a couple of drivers which took you straight to the hotel. The excitement came back as you all compared suites, trying to work out who’d got the best one. Yours and Ben’s was the biggest, but only because there were two of you, and it ended up being designated the official party room. Not that you had the opportunity to party much. The first day was mostly spent unpacking and fighting the urge to go to sleep way too early. You and Ben took a walk, hand in hand just in case, to explore the area, making note of nearby bars and restaurants. You’d half been expecting to be swamped since the US was notorious for having particularly intrusive paparazzi but there ended up only being a couple following you, no more than you’d been dealing with back home. Ben made a joke about EastEnders not cracking the American market, but whatever the reason it wasn’t unwelcome. The others joined you, all yawning, for a dinner provided by room service and a quiet drink to toast the trip and the movie that had brought you all together. When they’d all cleared out, headed gratefully to their own beds, you and Ben flipped a coin for who’d get the bed on the first night with Ben winning out. It wasn’t too bad, the roll out bed. Not as soft as the main bed but with how exhausted you felt you didn’t really notice. After that it was down to business. The first few days were all pretty much the same. Wake up, earlier than you’d have liked, always beaten by Ben. Shower, get dressed, head downstairs to grab a coffee and watch Ben eat breakfast, listen to him offer you a bite of his toast and remind you of the importance of the meal, and then back up to your rooms were a black screen and a large print out of the movie poster had been set up behind some chairs. The games you’d began playing with Ben during the first lot of interviews in London continued because it was a quick and easy way to not lose your minds when you had to answer what drew you to the romantic comedy genre? for the hundredth time. A lot of the interviews blurred together but there were a few more memorable moments. One overenthusiastic woman entered the room and immediately began flirting with Ben. He smiled politely and shook her hand but you could see how uncomfortable he was and swung in to rescue him, introducing yourself to her. He whispered a quick thank you as you took your seats but she wasn’t completely distracted. “This movie. I’ve gotta say it has everything – I laughed, I teared up, the shirtless scenes,” she fanned her face and laughed, “Y/N, what’s it like working with this man. I mean, he’s gorgeous for a start.” You felt Ben tense up a little beside you but lay your hand on his reassuringly as you leaned forward and let out a giggle, “Obviously I agree. I wouldn’t have let him take me out on our first date if I didn’t. Plus he’s a total sweetheart, always knew how to keep moral up when we were shooting late and, professionally speaking, he’s one of the best people I’ve ever worked with. He always had really interesting ways to explore the characters and just made sure we had fun on set. Honestly, I can’t imagine having done this movie with anyone else.” “And I think you’re forgetting how gorgeous Y/N is,” Ben said, catching on, “I tell you, this woman looks stunning the second she gets out of bed. And she kept me on my toes for the whole shoot. She gives everything she does 110% and I think you’d have to agree that it shows in the final product.” “Aww, thanks babe,” “You’re welcome, cuddle bunny.” After the woman had left you bust out laughing about how uninformed she’d been about your relationship considering the look on her face. It helped you ignore how warm you suddenly felt. But she was the only uninformed one. Everyone else who came in had at least one question about what it was like to date the person you acted with. Did it make acting as a couple easier? (“A lot of the time, yeah. Although those scenes where we were fighting were a bit tough. I hate seeing her upset.”) Not to spoil anything but there’s one seen where Ben’s character Andy hooks up with someone else, was that hard to watch? (“I mean, we’re actors. We’ve both been doing this for a while and y’know sometimes you have to kiss someone at work. It’s kinda odd but it’s also pretty normal for us and we both understand how it works.”) Normally we end our interviews with a silly question about who your celebrity crushes are… (“I think you could probably work our answers out,”). Thankfully because there were so many to get through they moved quite quickly. You’d be out for lunch before you knew it and then it’d be time for a few more, often with the larger group or sometimes on your own. After the last journalist had left you’d go out for dinner with everyone else and maybe follow it with a drink at a nearby bar if you weren’t too worn out, and then I was back to your rooms to relax and sleep until your alarm woke you the next day to repeat it all over again.

It was a relief when the junkets ended, and you got to break the monotony of it all to record some slightly more interesting interviews. Ben was very little help during the Buzzfeed puppy interview – way too distracted by the balls of fluff climbing over his lap and attempting to lick his face to form a coherent answer to any of the questions. It was a cute sight though, the way his eyes lit up as soon as he met the dogs and how much he was laughing as he rolled on the ground with them. You were on the verge of suggesting you should get a dog when you remembered you weren’t actually living together, trying to clear the image of you and Ben snuggled up on a couch with a napping puppy across his lap. It was a little disconcerting how easily the fantasy had appeared, and it left you feeling out of sorts. If you’d hoped the next segment they had you record would distract you, you were quickly proven wrong. The thirst tweets were fun to read, mostly because you enjoyed making Ben blush so fiercely in payback for not answering anything during the puppy interview, but they could hardly be called a distraction. If anything, they just made you think about what else you could get up to, without the puppy. “Ben’s lips look like they were made to kiss…and not just on the mouth. Oh, um, well he is a very good kisser. Very very good. And, that’s all I’m gonna say.” You gave the camera a sly wink, already able to imagine how happy your agents would be and hoping Ben wouldn’t hold it against you. You glanced at him to check and found him covering the flush on his cheeks with his palms. He dropped his hands and looked straight at the camera, “God I hope my mum’s not watching. Sorry mum.” When you go back to the hotel you wished you had a separate room. The Buzzfeed videos, though short, took most of the day. You had to wait while the puppies were wrangled together and taken away, and then there were all the pauses to set up cameras and check mics were working. Plus you ended up filming a Q&A video about the movie as well. But not once did you stop thinking about Ben and what it might be like to actually date him. By the time you got back to the hotel all you wanted was to be alone for a little to try and sort out what you were feeling and maybe get yourself off. But it wasn’t to be. The others returned shortly after you did and bounced into your room to hang out. You had a few minutes after they went off to freshen up before dinner and Ben jumped in the shower but it wasn’t enough time and it took all of your energy to not think about joining him.

The next day was quieter with just two interviews booked, both with radio stations. You got to sleep a little longer and had a long break between commitments. Ben suggested you use the time to go on the “date” your agents wanted. You posted to your Instagram stories to make it look more legitimate, a selfie of you both on the street and then a shot of your drinks with Ben visible in the background “So I’m going to visit Joe tonight,” Ben said, glancing at you over his plate. “That’ll be good. How long since you last saw him?” “In person? Uhh, seven months I think, maybe a bit longer. But, um, you’re invited if you want.” “Me? Why?” Ben shrugged, “He wants to meet you.” “This is the same Joe that’s been leaving comments on your photos of us as if he’s jealous?” “That’s the one,” Ben chuckled. “The same Joe I heard you talking to?” “Mmhmm,” “And he was the one who suggested I come?” “Yeah.” The idea made you feel a little apprehensive, “Should I be worried?” Ben smiled to himself, “Do you want to come or not?” “Well I don’t want to intrude.” “You wouldn’t be, I swear. We’d just be having a quiet night at his anyway. He’s gonna make dinner or we’ll order something in and we’ll probably have a drink or two but like nothing outrageous. And it’s not a catch up visit because we talk all the time and he already knows everything I’m up to. It’s just a hang out, and probably the first of a few while I’m over here.” “You’re sure I wouldn’t be stepping on any toes?” “Positive. It was his idea so it’s not like you’ll be crashing.” That wasn’t hugely reassuring, but you said yes anyway, kind of curious yourself as to what he might have to say to you. Maybe he’d have something comforting to say about the whole situation with Ben.

That evening’s plans were on your mind for the rest of the day, though you shoved it aside to get through the final radio interview. Thankfully, the two hosts were funny and asked some questions that you hadn’t answered a thousand times already. “So, we’ve heard actors like to keep props from movies they work on as, like, souvenirs. Did either of you get to keep anything from The Perfect Match?” “I did,” you said, “Um, I kept Edith’s engagement ring.” “Really? You never told me that,” Ben said, clearly surprised. “Well I…shit I might be dropping myself in it here. I kinda didn’t tell anyone I took it,” Ben let out a bark of laughter. “It wasn’t a real engagement ring,” you hastened to add for the benefit of the audience, “just plastic but I got so used to wearing it and I wore it home on the last day of filming without thinking and I just…never took it back. If any of the crew are listening and have been wondering where it went, I’m sorry.” Ben was still laughing, “I can’t believe you stole the ring.” “What did you take then?” “Nothing,” he said with a shake of his head, “I’m not a thief like you apparently. And I didn’t think to ask for anything.” “Well, what would you have taken if you could?” one of the hosts asked. Ben thought for a moment, “Is it inappropriate for me to say the body pillow?” It was your turn to burst into laughter, “depends which version.” “Sorry, body pillow?” Both of the hosts looked at each other excitedly and then back to Ben. “Uhh, okay, so, no spoilers but there’s this one scene,” Ben started, “Andy’s a bit down because Edith isn’t there so his friends try to cheer him up by ordering a body pillow with Edith’s image on it.” “Yeah, but there were two versions made. The one that’s in the movie and one that was deemed, umm, a little too racy for the rating we wanted.” You could feel your face getting hot but it was partly the struggle not to laugh too much as you turned back to Ben, “So, which would you have asked for?” Ben shrugged, “Doesn’t really matter since I got the real thing.” The interviewers laughed at that, “Very smooth Mr Hardy,” “Clever answer.” You laughed and let them move you onto other questions but the thought stuck with you. Had he meant it? Or was it all for show?

Afterwards you returned to the hotel to kill time before you had to be at Joe’s place. Your mind was still racing with thoughts of what had happened during the radio interview and what might happen that night. Thoughts that were not helped by how worked up you were after days of pent up frustration. “Did you really take the engagement ring?” Ben asked, knocking you out of your reverie as he sat beside you on the couch. “Yeah, it’s sitting in my jewellery box at home. “Huh,” “What?” “Nothing, just uh, kind of funny that I drew it on your mug and you stole the real thing.” “Yeah, I hadn’t thought of that but yeah, it is a bit funny.” “That thing about the body pillow was a joke, by the way. I wouldn’t have actually asked for it,” “I figured. But um,” He was sitting so close his thigh was pressed up against you, “Yeah?” You shouldn’t say it. It was just because you were horny and he was available and into you and you really shouldn’t say it, “Well, maybe I wouldn’t mind so much if you’d kept it.” You licked your lips, noticing the way his eyes focused on the movement and didn’t shift away. “You wouldn’t?” “Maybe.” “Maybe it wasn’t so much a joke,” He was so close you could feel his breath on your face, and you had the desire to lean in and close the distance. You were half a second away from doing just that when Ben shook his head. “Fuck.” He leaned back, paused for a second, and then stood up, “We’ve gotta get ready to go to Joe’s.”

When you arrived at Joe’s place he greeted you wearing an old, navy blue apron over a t-shirt and jeans. “Benny boy!” he half yelled, throwing himself at the laughing blonde. “Hey Joe, this is, alright get off me, Jesus. This is Y/N,” “Hi, Y/N,” he said, still grinning as he held out his hand, “Lovely to finally meet you.” “Likewise,” you said with a smile, noting the way he glanced at Ben. He led you into the house saying something about checking the dinner and told you to make yourselves comfortable. Ben had no problem with that, heading straight for the fridge and grabbing out three bottles of beer. “Y’know you’re mean to eat this pasta with red wine, you uncultured swine,” but Joe accepted his bottle anyway. You took the one Ben offered you, mostly just to give you something to keep your hands busy as you took in the pale walls and clutter covering the benchtop – a mix of vegetable scraps and used dishes. Joe was instantly likeable, putting to rest any worries you’d had about meeting the one person in the world who knew the whole truth of your situation. You’d assumed Ben would have called him after you’d made out, and by the way he kept a close eye on your interactions with Ben you guessed you were right. But that wasn’t too hard to block out and you supposed he had good reason. He asked you questions over dinner, about yourself and your family and your work. And he made plenty of jokes, most of them at his or Ben’s expense. It was clear they’d known each other for a while, just based on how they acted when they were together and you could see why Ben would have confided in him. All around it was a very nice evening. Or it was for the most part.

After dinner, while you were working on a bottle of wine Joe had insisted on opening, Ben excused himself to have a smoke, leaving just you and Joe at the table. As soon as Joe heard the door shut behind Ben he leaned in, more serious than you’d seen him all night. “Don’t hurt him.” “I’m sorry, what?” you asked, not sure you’d heard right. “Ben’s told me everything. I know how he feels about you, I know you overheard him when he was talking to me, I know about the fight and what happened after the makeup date. I know everything. And I am begging you not to hurt him.” “I’m not going to.” He sighed, tilting his wineglass slightly, playing with the stem, “I’ve known Ben for a few years now. I’ve seen him crushing on someone, I’ve seen him drunkenly flirt with people, I’ve watched him ask someone out and then move on when they said no. I have never seen him this hung up on someone.” You went to speak but before you could Joe held up a hand and continued. “He’s not going to let on but he is white knuckling it at the moment. He’s been attracted to you since you first met, I have the texts to prove it. The day your situation was proposed he called me, as soon as he’d got home from work. He told me all about it, asked if I’d ever been offered something similar or if I knew someone who had. I didn’t believe him at first but he insisted it was real and asked what I thought. Of course, I told him it was a bad idea if he had any sort of a crush on you. The next day he sent me a message that just said I fucked up. I think he’d originally planned to ask you out at the end of the shoot but then he volunteered to torture himself instead.” “That’s not my fault,” “I’m not saying it is. I’m just trying to help you understand where he’s at because I know he won’t have told you. He’s pretending he’s getting over you, that he’s moved on from whatever weird little hiccup he had. But it’s not true.” Joe paused, turned towards the door, but when he heard nothing he kept talking, “I’ve been watching him all night. The way he talks to you, the way he looks at you. He’s still in love you and this press trip is killing him. Do you like him?” “If you’ve heard everything then you already know,” you said, ignoring the way your insides squirmed. “I’d like to hear it from you,” “No. I don’t like him. Not in that way.” Joe watched you intently, frowning, “Are you sure?” “Yes,” you said, hoping it sounded more certain than you felt. Joe sighed again, “If that’s true then you’ll understand why I wanted to have this conversation. Please don’t toy with him.” Your mind jumped straight to that afternoon when you’d nearly kissed him again and you felt guilty, “It might come as a surprise to you but I do actually care about Ben and I really am trying not to overstep or make this harder for him. And it’s not so easy on my side of it either” “I know, I can see that. All I’m saying is to be careful. For his sake.”

You were still thinking about the conversation as you lay in bed that night. What exactly had Joe seen in the way you and Ben interacted that made him determined to say something? Why, when you said you weren’t into Ben, had he said if that’s true, like you were intentionally lying about your own feelings? And god the butterflies you’d felt at the suggestion he might have asked you out. What the fuck was that about? Was it because you liked the idea or hated it? Or was it some in between thing where you really hated it but practically living with Ben had clouded your judgement until you thought maybe it’d be okay? You suddenly felt desperate for the trip to be over. At least that way you’d be able to get some personal space back, be able to think without Ben there on the other side of the room all the time. With a sigh you rolled over to face the wall and tried to sleep so you’d be ready for another day of press. The next week and a half was full of interviews with online content creators and radio stations you’d never heard of before. But at least they weren’t as monotonous as the earlier interviews had been. Ben visited Joe again a few times which you were grateful for since it meant he was out of your hair for a while, but you rarely got the time to yourself, the others usually setting up camp in front of the TV in your suite. Then it was time to pack up and fly to LA to start the whole process again. Another two days of junkets and then more spaced out press. You did the autocorrect interview together, took a quiz about romcom quotes on James Cordon’s show and ranked your favourite romcoms on the radio. And then it was back to London to finish the publicity. Straight from the airport to a hotel, already set up and waiting so you could meet with some entertainment vloggers who had missed out at the beginning of the tour. You sighed when you realised it was going to be another day of the same old questions and bet Ben that you’d have to repeat the story about almost breaking your leg during the engagement party ten times. He took you up on it but only because he thought it’d be closer to twenty. Ben called in a room service order for coffee and you both crossed your fingers and hoped you’d make it through before the jetlag really kicked in. “God you’re lucky you’re done,” Ben said once the last interviewer had left, “I’ve still got fucking GQ tomorrow.” His voice turned into a whine, “All I wanna do is sleep,” You had to laugh as he pouted, “Poor Benny,” “Yes, poor Benny. I’m so ready to just sleep in my own bed and have a long, hot shower in my own bathroom.” “And a wank without being interrupted,” if you’d been less worn out you would have stopped yourself from saying it. “All this time I’ve known you and I’ve still not managed to pull your mind from the gutter,” Ben tutted, clearly equally as exhausted since he didn’t even flinch at the suggestion. “If anything I’ve pulled you down with me.” “You’re a horrible influence,” You both fell into laughter, further proof you needed some rest, but it felt good too. You only stopped when one of the publicists came over to let you know you were free to go. “Alright, cuddle bunny, I’ll see you later, yeah?” Ben pulled you into a hug. “Let me know how GQ goes. I’m gonna get Thai for dinner tomorrow night so if you wanna come chill at mine, that’s totally cool.” “Thai sounds really nice,” “You don’t have to,” you suddenly realised what you’d offered, “we were just talking about wanting time alone so whatever,” “Hanging out with you wasn’t the problem, it was how busy we were. But if we’re just eating takeout and watching Netflix then I’m there.” “I’ll make sure to get the large pad Thai then,” “I’ll bring the diet coke.”

The trip had given the tabloids a lot to work with. You hadn’t kept up to date with it all while you’d been away because you’d been promoting the movie but, once you got back home, you found yourself checking on them more regularly, filling in the spare time by scrolling through twitter or Instagram. There were photos of you at the airport, photos from the streets of LA, gifs and screencaps from interviews you’d done, posted by fans yelling about how cute you were together. The way Ben had described you to the flirty reporter was reposted over and over with pleading face and heart eyes emojis and comments about finding a man like that. Miniscule looks you’d shared without noticing were slowed down in gif form and posted as proof of how in love you were, how wrong anyone who suggested you might be fake were. By far the most commonly occurring one was the thirst tweet video. You saw it shared over and over and over. You were tagged in fanfics inspired by it, in which Ben ate you out until you were an overstimulated mess. It was odd and you’d never have admitted to reading them but it was definitely entertaining and not too far from some of the things you’d imagined yourself. But going back to living on your own didn’t help your confusion the way you thought it might. You missed seeing Ben every night and every morning, couldn’t stop thinking about what might have happened if you’d kissed him. And you were fast running out of excuses for why. It was one thing to blame the situation when you were sharing a hotel room, practically forced to spend most of your time together, and playing up the relationship for the cameras. But now, in the comfort of your own home, when you and Ben could freely choose when and how often you saw each other, it was much harder to justify how often you thought about him, how badly you wanted to return to that night on his couch and just let it happen. And the more you spent time with Ben, the harder it was to keep from admitting you might actually have been wrong before. Maybe there was something there, though Joe’s words stuck in the back of your mind making it hard to admit it to yourself. You got quite good at telling yourself it was just physical. You loved Ben as a friend and a small part of you wanted to spend the night with him. That wasn’t so unusual. Friends slept together all the time. Maybe if you could sleep with him you could stop thinking about him. Maybe he’d stop thinking he was in love with you too. You laughed at yourself the first time it occurred to you. It was ridiculous and stupid and so unlikely to help…but maybe. Maybe you could make a deal with the universe. Just this one thing and then you could be done with it all.

You came to regret that little notion, came to curse the universe for listening to you. Ben and you had decided to go out for coffee when his phone rang. He excused himself to answer it, leaving you to your slice of brownie as you waited for him to come back. When he did he was frowning. “What happened?” “Uhh, okay. You remember that,” he glanced around and lowered his voice, “that rule we have about not meeting each other’s families? Yeah, I don’t think we can hold them off any longer. That was my mum. See, there’s this big family reunion next week – and I mean big, like all the cousins and great aunts and uncles and grandparents and fucking everyone. We have one every few years, book out this restaurant slash beer garden for a whole day and basically just have this big family piss up. And, um, when my parents heard I was dating you, they extended the invite to you as well but it was like a few months ago and I said I didn’t think you’d be able to make it but now they’re insisting and I tried to say we weren’t ready to meet each other’s families yet but they’re calling bullshit on that because as far as they know that was part of why we had the fight but then we fixed it and also I might have said I was meeting your parents to get out of a lunch I didn’t want to go to.” He said everything so fast you could barely keep up. “Wait, you told them you were meeting my family to get out of a lunch?” “Maybe. But that’s in the past Y/N. Our problem is happening next week.” “Shit,” “Yeah. It’s…I can try and tell them you’re busy that day but I’m pretty sure they’ll just ask again and then we’d be stuck having dinner with just mum and dad and maybe my brother. This way we get it over and done with and if there’s more people we should be able to sneak out earlier.” “Yeah, no, that makes sense.” “There’s just one other little thing.” “What?” “Well, my family live a couple of hours away from here and I’d kind of originally planned to stay overnight in my old room because otherwise I’d have to worry about how much I’d had to drink and if I was able to drive back late at night and it’s just easier to stay there and head back the next day.” “Oh, well, I mean I don’t mind staying over. Um, would we have to share the bed or…?” “Maybe. It’s not like the hotel where we had a whole second bed but I’d be fine sleeping on the floor for a night or we can divide the bed with pillows if that’s easier. I could try looking into other accommodation but Mum’d probably kick up a stink about us paying for it when she’s got a perfectly fine room on offer.” “If you’ve already said you’d stay then we might as well stay. Wouldn’t want her thinking I’m so high maintenance I can’t stay one night under her roof now would we?” Ben laughed, “I don’t know, it’d stop her from inviting you over again. You swear you’re okay with this?” “Yeah. We knew something like this might come up.” “Alright, I’ll let her know you’ll be there. And I’ll buy you dinner tonight to make up for it.” You smiled and said that was a fair exchange but you’d suddenly lost your appetite.

#my writing #my fics #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy imagine #finally got this edited to a point where i think im happy with it #hope you like it #it's all building to something good i swear

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