#taehyung scenario

[yoonia]

A Christmas Fix — 01 (m) | kth

⟶ Summary | One-night stands are supposed to be nothing more than just. It shouldn’t have involved seeing those two red lines looking back at you weeks later without a name or a contact number linking you back to your mystery man. Nothing more but his face. The unforgettable face that would sometimes appear in your dreams at night. So unforgettable that you immediately recognise him the moment he walks into your family home at Christmas, hand-in-hand with your older stepsister.

With special collab prompt: "the holidays aren't so bad with you around."

⟶ Title | A Christmas Fix

⟶ Pairings | Taehyung x female reader

⟶ Genre | Secret Baby!au, Second Chance!au, Strangers to Lovers!au

⟶ Ratings & Warnings | +18 / M for Mature; including: alcohol consumption, mentions of pregnancy, vomiting/morning sickness, surprise babies, miscommunication, profanities/swearing, minor body insecurities (implied), some family drama; involves multiple explicit sex scenes, including: sexual tension, one night stand, drunk sex (with clear consent), minor dom/sub dynamic, brat!reader, size kink, rough sex, light choking, restraint, hair pulling (M, F), protected & unprotected sex, fingering (F), oral sex (F), clit play, breast play, stripping, biting, minor hand job/groping, grinding, masturbation (M, F), dirty talk, implied pain kink, praise kink, body worship, marking, multiple orgasms (M, F), overstimulation.

⟶ Word count | 25,363 words (of 54,773 words)

⟶ Story Notes | Part of the Jingle All the Way collaboration with @leahsfavefics, @kithtaehyung, @kpopfanfictrash, @cybrsan, and @sugaurora | Written in 2nd person POV (in case you’re new to my writing, I don’t use ‘y/n’ coding as all of my lead characters are considered as OCs) | Moodboard was done by me | Posted in: January 31st, 2024 by @yoonia

⟶ Author Notes | I know that this is so late, but December has always been a rough month for me and this time it continued until January. I hope you can still enjoy this story regardless. Happy belated holidays and happy new year, my loves!

⟶ Jingle All the Way collab masterlist | A Christmas Fix: next chapter ⇢

⟶ Main Masterlist | Taglist | Feedback | Mailbox | Ko-fi

⟶ Read on AO3

One month ago…

You already had everything perfectly planned out when you first thought of this trip some long months ago. 

Everything. 

From your personal bucket list full of wonderful things that you wanted to experience during your time away and the places that you wanted to see, down to the smallest details that you could possibly think of to be able to enjoy every single moment of your secret getaway.

Just like the red dress that you had chosen to wear tonight. The dress you had meticulously picked and bought to wear on the trip as you went to celebrate your newfound freedom. 

In your well-thought-out plan, you were supposed to have landed on the tropical island you were headed to by sundown. The warm tropical breeze should have been embracing you at the start of your trip instead of the cold, chilly wind flowing right outside these walls. 

By this evening, you should have already settled in nicely in the comfort of your hotel room right by the beachside. The calming sound of the rushing waves outside your window was the sound that you should have been listening to while resting from your long flight. 

You had pictured yourself embracing your freedom in a foreign land. To feel the soft sand slipping between your toes as you were playing chase with the rushing waves, and to find calmness that you could only get far away from the treacherous city where you came from. 

The trip was meant to help you mend your soul. Perfectly planned out as an escape from reality and leave all of your past hurt behind before starting a new chapter of your life. 

And yet, no matter how thoroughly you had it all planned out, somehow life simply found a way to mess it all up. Just like how it had always been. So perhaps you shouldn’t have been so surprised when it happened to you again, just when you thought that you had everything under control. 

You should have seen the signs long before everything started crumbling down.

The sky that kept growing darker ever since you left the city. The constant turbulences happening during your first flight that made the trip feel intense. The unsettling feeling you met the moment you landed in this place for your transit. The constant announcements echoing through the airport about flights that were getting delayed and cancelled while you were getting no news about your transit flight’s departure. 

You should have been prepared to face reality, keeping in mind that life hadn’t been so nice to you lately to let you slip away that easily. Yet your stubbornness prevailed. And after your most recent predicament, you needed this trip to happen. You needed to be right. 

After all, you have made it all the way here. It would have been impossible for you to return home, wouldn’t it?

So you remained in denial and were so stubbornly holding onto hope that you would soon be taken away from this place towards your dream destination. Even when the world around you seemed to be falling apart. 

But after long hours of waiting, you were finally forced to accept your fate, letting go of any hope you had left to escape this place when they officially cancelled the rest of today’s flights due to unresolved weather issues. Including yours.

“I’m sorry, but we really can’t promise you anything at this moment. There will be no flights until the storm passes and our pilots are cleared to fly again. Until then, we have nothing to tell you.” 

The staff’s swift response to your inquiries about getting on the first flight available to take you to your destination only left you with a dead end. Even flying back home was no longer an option, only because that would only mean that you were admitting defeat. 

And that was how you ended up here tonight, stranded right between the daunting city that you called home and the paradise that you wished to be in until an unforeseeable future. Your dream of enjoying the night in the comfort of the beachside hotel room overlooking the wide, clear ocean, had been replaced with the reality where you had to spend overnight at the airport’s transit hotel that the airline staff helped book for you. 

You released a sigh as you leaned back against the elevator wall. Recounting the events again only brought back all the terrible mood you were having. And it didn’t help that the last message that your roommate sent you only reminded you of your setback. 

From Skye: Just checking on you on your secret getaway. I hope you’re having a blast right now. I wish you’d tell me where you’re heading so I can have a good reason to be jealous. Be safe!

Another sigh came from your lips as you wondered—

Now how am I supposed to answer her text? 

Before you could find an answer, the elevator doors opened as it reached the lobby downstairs. You put away your phone as you stepped out, and immediately got lost in your thoughts. Your mind once again getting too loud as it keeps you company. 

At first, you had no intention of hiding this trip from her. Yet all the circumstances leading to this weekend had made it hard for you to share anything to anyone.

You were planning to wait until you were finally there so you could surprise her with pictures from the beautiful beach or your comfortable hotel room. Showing her the pretty nighttime scene from the tropical island would have been a nice way to flaunt your secret getaway rather than boasting it when your fate had been filled with uncertainty. 

But instead of having an evening walk down the beach, you were trudging across the lobby inside an airport hotel, accompanied by the sound of your heels clicking on the marble floors instead of having sand soiling your feet. 

And the view outside the window that you got to see earlier had been nowhere close to the pretty beach with its white sand and rolling waves. Instead, you had a clear view of the dark night sky, painted with the raging storm and its blaring thunders so strong they almost caused the entire bedroom to shake. Neither showed any sign of calming down any time soon, leaving you with no other choice but to do what you could to enjoy your temporary stay.

And you were going to start doing so by having a quick drink to help you unwind for the night. 

The red dress that you were wearing might seem a bit excessive for a nightcap, but for a short while, it helped you forget where you were. It felt almost as if you were walking in a dream as you strolled down the lower lobby in search of the hotel bar. 

Entering the hotel bar, however, became another wake-up call. 

The bar was quite large for a transit hotel, accommodating the patrons filling the place tonight. You had hoped that you could have a dance or two with a friendly stranger before retreating to your hotel room to rest, yet the closed-off lounge area had more space filled with box seats than the open dance floor. The seating area was the only place in the bar which was dimly lit, allowing the guests some privacy while they settled in with their drinks. 

The small chandeliers glittering from the ceiling were far from the hanging lights that you pictured hanging in a beachside bar. Just like the one place you had seen pictures of while planning for your trip. The lights you were seeing here made the entire space beneath seem luxurious, spreading a soft golden glow over the wary faces trying to enjoy the night. 

The pulsing bass that came out of the speakers was enough to drown the sound of the violent storm happening on the other side of these walls, further helping to create an illusion that you were in another place. That you were somewhere else instead of being stranded inside an airport hotel, together with all the strangers who seemed to be facing the same fate as you did. 

You made your way towards the main bar, suddenly feeling hyperaware of your surroundings. Even without looking, you could feel people’s eyes following your movements. Yet you paid no heed to them. You were only here to quiet down the raging storm happening inside your head, after all. 

A strong scent of old wood took over the bar area. Mixed in with the excessive scent of air fresheners and cleaners, it was enough to remind you that you were miles and miles away from the beautiful island where you had been so desperate to be. 

Smoothing your palms down your red dress, you took one empty seat at the bar. You caught the bartender’s eyes as he walked past, and within moments, a glass of strawberry daiquiri ended up in your hand. 

This feels nice, you wondered to yourself as you sat back and tried to relax.

One sip of the sweet alcoholic drink was all that it took to refresh your mind. As the warmth from your drink ran smoothly through your body, any doubt and wariness you felt began to fade. 

The next sip of the drink managed to ease your thoughts down a bit more. It helped push away the reminders of your troubles to the back of your mind. Finding calmness, you took another quick look at your surroundings.

The seating lounge seemed to be filled with guests more than the main bar was. Stranded travellers like yourself. At first glance, the nicely dressed men in suits made it seem like you were in a bar downtown. As if they were nothing more than a group of businessmen seeking leisure on a Friday night with drinks. 

It only took you looking a few seats away from them for the illusion to shatter. Your eyes fell on a group of men and women wearing their summer clothing who were making a toast, acting as if they were at the peak of their vacation. 

Looking at the scene made you realise that you weren’t the only one feeling miserable tonight. You wondered just how badly these people here needed to forget. How many of them here might be similar to you, stranded in an unexpected situation while trying to escape reality? 

You raised your glass to hide your bitter smile. The smooth liquid continued to flow through your body and you slowly began to find some peace of mind. Before you knew it, you had finished your drink, though you weren’t exactly ready to return to your cold bedroom. 

“Can I order you another glass of drink?” 

A deep voice invaded your senses after a long period of silence, and it was coming from your side. You had been far too deep in your reverie that you didn’t even realise that someone had taken the empty seat right beside you at the bar. 

Curious to see this friendly stranger, you slowly turned around to look at him. And what you saw in him nearly took your breath away. 

A tall, lean man was sitting there. His slick hair had a few curls at the end of each strands, and he had combed them back, leaving nothing more than a few stands framing his handsome face that looked almost as if it had been sculpted by the fine hands of masters in art. His sharp nose and jawline drew your attention, while his deep and soulful eyes that appeared like pools of rich mahogany drew you in, as if he was hiding a story behind his intense gaze. But it was his plump lips that formed into a smile which caught your eyes the most.

At your silence that stretched out while you were busy being captivated by him, he raised his eyebrows. It made you realise that he was waiting for your answer. An answer to a question that you had so obviously missed. 

“I’m sorry?” 

He tilted his chin to point at your now empty glass. “You look like you could use another glass, and I’d love to get one for you,” he said with an amused tone of voice. 

Once again, his deep, velvety voice hit you deeply. It resonated through your body, and a shudder ran down your spine. You refused to believe that he was able to cause this effect on you solely through his voice or his pretty smile. 

But how else would you explain the reaction that was drawn from your body? 

I don’t think I’m that drunk already, you wondered.

It was probably the way he spoke to you which affected you so much. The way he was asking a question with pure confidence. As if he already knew your answer, and that it would be impossible for you to refuse his offer. 

And he wasn’t completely wrong about it. 

What remained from your sullen mood immediately shifted in his presence. And while you have no intention of turning him down, you decided that you were not going to make things easy for him. 

“An interesting offer that seems like such a waste for me to refuse,” you sweetly said to him, smiling as your eyes fell on his empty hands. “But how would a woman feel at ease to accept such an offer from a man who isn’t even holding a glass in his hand?” 

He squinted his eyes at you, which only made his gaze feel more intense. “Are you afraid that I might be planning to get you drunk?” 

You softly laughed. “Not sure if I should be so worried about that. Getting drunk tonight has always been my initial plan all along,” you coyly said, hiding the fact that it was never your intention to get wild tonight. But his appearance intrigued you enough to change your mind about ending the night so soon.  

The mysterious man remained oblivious to this as he laughed with you. His wide, almost boxy grin mesmerised you in an instant and you were once again left speechless. 

He waved his hand to grab the bartender’s attention. It was nothing more but a simple gesture, yet you were somewhat drawn to it. To him.  

While he greeted the bartender, you took the chance to have a better look at this man. You noticed that he was a bit different compared to the other men that you saw around you earlier. 

Dressed in a black jacket over his plain white shirt, he didn’t seem as sophisticated as the stranded businessmen in their flashy suits sitting together at the bar’s lounge. Yet he had a different level of confidence which was enough to make your cheeks feel warm. 

In your eyes, he was alluring, almost as intensely as the dark storm happening outside. And you couldn’t resist being pulled towards him. 

“Another glass of the same drink for the lady and a glass of grasshopper for me,” he smoothly spoke as he ordered the drinks for you.

The bartender nodded and went to work, while you slid closer to him. His fresh-scented cologne immediately hit you, and your confidence nearly wavered that you almost slid back. But then he caught you with his gaze as he turned back to you, giving you the kind of attention which boosted every bit of ego you had. 

“So you also prefer something light and sweet. How intriguing,” you teased him, bringing back his alluring grin. 

“Why do you think I came here to join you? It was obviously for the fruity drinks and to have someone to drink it together with,” he joked.

You rolled your eyes at him and smiled. Before you got to say something in return, the bartender came back with his order. The man took a sip of his drink first before you took yours. Once again, the sweetness from your drink swirled through your body, chipping away at the tension that had been weighing you down ever since the day’s saga began. 

“To be honest, I also thought that you were looking a bit rough.” His remark brought your attention back to him. The tease was gone from his voice. All that was left was a gentle concern that seemed genuine. “And you looked like you needed a friend. That’s why I invited myself to join you.” 

It makes you feel uneasy to think that you were being so transparent. So much so that a complete stranger like himself was able to see right through you. 

“You think so? Wait until you hear how rough I’m feeling inside as well,” you bitterly said to him, drawing a soft smile to his face. 

“That makes the two of us then,” he said to you gently with his eyes on his glass of drink. There was a forlorn look in his eyes as he slowly twirled the glass, causing the liquid to swish around before he took another sip from it. 

“Care to share?” you questioned him before you could stop yourself, only to pull yourself back. “Sorry, that sounds creepy. We just met and here I am, prying into someone else’s business,” you nervously laughed.  

His gaze softened when he looked at you. Furthermore, he also seemed intrigued. 

“No, not at all.” His voice was calm, and it somehow helped to calm your nerves. “I was just about to lend an ear in case you needed someone to vent to. I never expected that you would be a step ahead of me before I could make the offer.” 

The comment he gave you made you feel warm inside. 

“Mine’s a long story,” you bitterly said to him as you raised your glass, almost giving in to the urge to take a hefty drink and finish it off when everything started coming back to you again.

The reason behind this trip, why you were stranded here on your own, while being far, far away from home, and all the drama that had gotten in the way when you had been so desperate to get away from everything. 

Unsurprisingly, the man merely shrugged. “I’ve got time to spare. My flight won’t leave until tomorrow. And that is if they’re allowed to fly out of here at all.” 

You smiled at him. “Same here. I guess we’re both stranded here all night, huh?” 

He leaned in just then, invading your personal space and filling it with his presence. And you didn’t even mind it as you leaned into him, meeting him halfway to welcome him into your little safety bubble. 

“And I was worried that I might get stuck feeling lonely while being stranded in this place,” he gently murmured, drawing a smile to your face.  

“I doubt that you would end up alone tonight,” you teased him, simply because there was no possible way that someone as attractive as he was would be returning to his hotel bedroom alone. 

His smile grew, yet the deep, dark look in his eyes shifted into something else. Something naughty and sinful. It made you feel a new sensation brewing inside even without him ever having to touch you. 

“Is that an invitation?” he asked with his deep voice that came grazing at your skin. 

Normally, you wouldn’t know what to say in return. It had been so long since you played this kind of game with someone. With anyone. But his presence and his words were drawing something out of you. A part of you that you never thought existed. And you surprised yourself when you played along, taunting danger head-on as you challenged this handsome stranger before you— 

“Would you like it to be?” 

Something flashed in his eyes. It was dark and intense, and it was sucking you in. It brought a myriad of sensations that unexpectedly went straight down to your core. 

In the deep silence that fell right after, the world around you faded. Even before you got to know his name, before you had the chance to share your story, you already knew the answer that he was about to give you as a response to your question. 

And you also knew right then, that the sparks that came rising around you were something that you would never be able to easily forget, even if every bit of memory you had about him would fade over time. 

Present…

Why do I keep thinking about that night all over again?

You can only wonder, as you keep being reminded of that eventful night. 

Weeks, nearly a month have gone by ever since, yet the memories seem to have been engraved deeply in your thoughts. And today, even though you haven’t really been thinking about it since, you suddenly find yourself having no trouble recounting everything that happened then. 

Well, almost everything. 

Some parts may seem blurry now. All due to the passing of time and the fact that you were partly inebriated at the time. But you can still recall some parts of the night that had clearly left a strong impression on you—the first encounter and the conversation you shared before alcohol took over, the instant attraction that you felt, but most of all, his entire presence. 

And they all have been coming into your thoughts while you are sitting here in the corner of your bathroom. Alone. With your arms wrapped around your folded knees and your eyes closed. As if you are waiting for a miracle to happen. 

You scoff at the thought. 

Right. Miracles. 

Years have long passed since you stopped believing that miracles do exist. Life always has its way of blindsiding you with its twists and turns that miracles no longer seem to matter anymore. 

Not for you, at least. 

Your past experiences have only caused you to look at it with sceptical eyes, sometimes even with bitterness, knowing that life has never been on your side. 

But here you are now, wishing, praying, holding onto hope that there would be a miracle to stop you from getting into a messy situation. One that you know you wouldn’t be able to handle on your own. 

After all, the perfect season of miracles is right around the corner. So it wouldn’t be so wrong for you to have some faith in them again now, would it? 

Your phone starts blaring with the sound of the alarm, snapping you out of it. Slowly, you rise on your wobbly feet. It feels as if your entire body has grown numb even before you get to face reality as it comes glaring back at you. 

Clutching onto the edges of your bathroom counter, you try to hold yourself together, and immediately failing, as you look at the two thin white strips lying on the cold counter and feel your entire world tilting off of its axis. 

All because of the two red lines that are clearly visible on each strip.

“Oh, fuck,” you softly groan. Deep down, you had already predicted this. Yet you kept denying it, hoping that you would be wrong.

“No, no, no—” you continue murmuring to yourself while wishing that you could somehow turn back time and change everything before things started going the wrong way. 

Back to this morning, when your roommate caught you—once again—throwing up last night’s dinner before handing you the unopened pregnancy test packs that she has been keeping safe in her room with the premise, “Just in case.” 

Or maybe you could return to last night when she pointed out your odd cravings—like dipping apples into peanut butter and eating leftover mac and cheese straight from the fridge without warming it in the microwave first—and joked about how you have been acting like a pregnant woman with your mood swings. 

Better yet, you wish you could go back to that night, back to that many weeks ago, when you allowed yourself to fall for a stranger’s charm which led you to spend the night with him. 

You close your eyes, once again murmuring to yourself, “This has got to be a dream.” 

But the moment you open your eyes again, nothing has changed. You are still standing there with your hands holding tightly onto the edges of the bathroom counter. And the two pregnancy test kits that you used are still lying on top of the counter for your eyes to see. 

A rapid sound of knocking on the bathroom door sends you jumping back. 

“Hey, ______? Is everything okay?” you hear your roommate, Skye, calling out for you. Her voice seems calm, yet when you recall hearing the sound of her footsteps moving back and forth outside of the door while you were taking the test, you know that she has been waiting just as anxiously as you were. “So—? What does it say?” 

Still in shock, and quite stuck in denial, you open your mouth only to have no words coming out of you. Your brain feels a bit hazy as you walk up to the door and open it for her. 

Skye takes one look at your face and her gaze softens. “What did it—” She shakes her head. “Oh, never mind, I’m dying to know. Let me see it,” she says as she brushes past you before you can say anything. 

Hoping that there is a chance that reality can change within the next few seconds, you refuse to turn around and once again close your eyes while she suddenly grows quiet.

Maybe you were just imagining things. Maybe you weren’t even looking at the test properly. Maybe—

“So, uhm—” you can hear Skye’s voice trembling a little as she hesitantly asks you, “Two lines mean it’s positive, is that right?” 

And just like that, every bit of hope you have in you flies out the window. “I wish I could say that it’s the other way around,” you softly murmur, feeling defeated. 

And the feeling grows stronger when you hear her cursing under her breath,

“Well, fuck.”

“What are you doing?” you ask Skye as you gingerly take a seat on the sofa. 

Once you both stepped away from the bathroom, she guided you to the living room while she sauntered away to the kitchen without a word. You can hear the noises she makes as she is busy rummaging through the counters. Yet you are too far away to see what she is up to. 

“Hang on a minute. Stay there,” she calls out without even looking. 

“Okay.” 

It’s not like you have any energy to go anywhere, after all. Your head is still spinning and you can barely feel your legs. It feels as if you are stuck in a bad dream and you just can’t get out of it. 

It doesn’t take long before Skye returns to your side, carrying with her two clean tall glasses in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. It was the same bottle that you opened when you celebrated your promotion a couple of weeks ago after coming back from the trip. 

Holy shit, you inwardly cry out. Your heartbeat rises as your hands find their way to your stomach. 

“Okay, let’s try to calm down,” Skye says to you as she places both glasses on the table before you, although it seems to you more as if she is talking to herself instead of reassuring you while you are panicking inside.

A couple of weeks ago? Wouldn’t I have been already pregnant then? 

These thoughts keep running through your head as you watch your roommate pouring wine into both glasses, just like the night she did the same when you first opened that same bottle. 

Dear God, how much did I drink that night? You ask yourself with a grimace as you try to remember. 

Wait, no. I didn’t drink anything, you remind yourself. Relief washes over you look back at the celebration night where you barely took a sip before Skye took the glass away from your hands. 

Because you were already feeling sick that day. 

You had been feeling nauseous for days, throwing up once in a while and mostly on the days when you were lacking sleep because of the workload you had to handle for the upcoming promotion. All you ever did was wet your lips with the wine after the celebratory toast. That was the only contact you made with the drink before Skye replaced it with a tall glass of alcohol-free smoothie that she made especially for your ‘upset stomach’.

Of course, how did I not see the signs? You wonder again as you remember the sickly feeling you had after vomiting each morning and feeling powerless for the rest of the day. It even got so bad that you had to skip work for a couple of days at the beginning of your ‘sickness’. 

If only you knew then. 

Your eyes are still on the wine glasses as Skye places them side by side and puts away the bottle. 

“Uh—I believe we both just saw the two lines appearing on the test packs.” 

She lets out a light scoff and waves her hand at you. “They're both for me. I’m going to need them while I process this,” she says, shaking her head as she sits down to join you on the sofa. “You get to keep that smoothie.” 

You follow her gaze and look down at the glass of smoothie that you left on the table during the whole fiasco with the pregnancy test. While you pick up your drink, Skye takes a hefty drink from one of the glasses of wine and sits back. 

“So—you’re pregnant,” she murmurs to herself. Her gaze flickers to your face for a brief moment and nods to herself before taking another drink. 

Why does it seem like she is the one panicking? 

She releases a sigh. Neither of you says anything for a moment. But you can tell when she grows more anxious by the minute. You don’t understand why, until she carefully asks you, “Are you going to tell Han?” 

Confused, you look at her with your brows furrowed and ask, “Why would I tell Han that I’m pregnant?” 

Skye looks genuinely confused, almost as much as you are, and you only realise the reason why when she asks you, “Isn’t Hansol the father? You guys have been dating for a long time and I can’t remember ever seeing you with anyone else while you’re on a break.” 

You wince, realising too late that you have yet to tell her the truth.

“Actually—we’re not on a break,” you slowly admit with a low voice. Months have gone by, and even though it no longer hurts whenever you start thinking about your failed relationship or to mention your ex’s name, you cannot help but still feel bitter about how it ended and you hate talking about it. 

That is the reason why you haven’t said anything about it to anyone. Maybe you were just too embarrassed. After all, it isn’t so easy to admit that you may have been the reason why the four-year relationship fell into pieces. 

“I lied,” you say with a burst of deep sigh, “It was over, done, finished—”

“So you already broke up?” she cuts you off with a calm voice. 

You bite your bottom lip as you slowly nod your head. “Yeah,” you whisper, suddenly feeling like your throat is tightening up. Not because you feel the sudden urge to cry. But only because this is all becoming too much to take at once.  

“And the baby?” she carefully asks you. “It wasn’t Han—” 

“The baby isn’t his,” you quickly answer before she even gets to question about it. 

It’s hard enough to hear his name being mentioned after a while. It feels harder to think that you might be carrying his baby. 

But the moment those words come out of your lips, reality finally sinks in. Grabbing the glass of your drink, you take a hefty drink out of it. You wish there was some alcohol in this thing. Maybe it would have helped you think more clearly. 

That’s right. It couldn’t have been his.

Sighing to yourself, you begin to do the math. “We’ve been broken up for months, so if the baby is his, I’m sure I would be showing already by this time around,” you say this while gently rubbing your palm over your stomach. 

Now that your suspicions have been confirmed, the gesture feels almost natural to you that your hand simply moves before you realise it, though it helps confirm that nothing much has changed with your body.

It feels odd to think that there is a life existing inside you, yet you cannot really see it with just one look. This convinces you further that the baby couldn’t have been conceived while you were still dating your ex. Looking back to it now, once you remember when exactly the sickness and craving started, it would only make sense that the baby was conceived on that specific night. 

“So—if Hansol isn’t the Dad, then who was it?” 

Biting your lip, you turn to look at Skye. Of course, if there is anyone in this world that you can talk to about this, it would only be her. Just like how she would come to you first whenever she is in a bind, whether it’s about her relationships, about work, or even the smallest things like having a bad day where you end up sharing a tub of ice cream to feel better. 

After all, she isn’t just a roommate, but also someone you have known the longest compared to the other friends you’ve made since moving into this city. You have known each other since college, since back in freshman year when both of you were nothing more but young kids from small towns being thrust into the big city. 

Being put together in the same dorm room led you to become fast friends. After years of enduring the same hardship in college, the two of you remained so close that you even moved to this city together and continued to live in the same place to keep each other company. 

You have gone through everything with her, and you have always been honest with each other. It should have been easy to tell her everything. If only you could find the right words to begin sharing your story. 

“I have no idea where to start.” 

“Well,” Skye patiently says while twirling the glass of wine she’s holding. You squint your eyes at her when you find it almost empty. So unfair. “Why don’t you start from the beginning?” 

“Right. From the beginning,” you say this with a nod. “Do you remember when I went away last month?” 

She nods. “Your secret getaway. Still jealous of that, by the way.” 

You give her a small smile. “Yeah, well—there’s a reason why I insisted on going alone on that trip. I actually planned it as a surprise vacation for me and Hansol. The original idea was for us to have a romantic getaway for our fourth anniversary.” 

Skye raises her eyebrows. “Well, damn,” she mutters. “Let me guess. You broke up before it happened?” 

You grimace as you recall what happened. “Close enough,” you answer with a bitter smile. “It was because of the trip that we got a huge fight in the first place.” 

Skye tilts her head. “I’m not following.” 

Sighing, you drink your smoothie to cool down and swallow the bitter feeling you are suddenly getting. Recounting the break-up isn’t so much fun to do. Not even after this long. 

“I planned the entire thing on my own. Booked the flight and the hotel, and rearranged our schedules to fit each other so we could go on that exact date. But I never shared anything with him, except to confirm that it was a place that he also dreamt of going so we could both enjoy it together.” You let out a defeated sigh. “I wanted it to be a surprise. He used to love those in the past, so I figured it could be fun to celebrate our anniversary this way and get away from all the stress both of us had been getting.” 

You stop talking for a moment to remember those days. Both you and Hansol had been so busy back then that you could barely spend time with each other. 

It was the exact routine every day. Having long hours in the office and since you weren’t living together, you could only keep in contact with each other through texts and calls. By the time the two of you were able to see each other, all the stress had been piling up that you were almost always arguing and fighting instead of making up for all the time you missed while being apart. 

“We were talking about moving in together but all of a sudden, we stopped discussing it and I could feel us growing further apart. I thought going away from all the stress for a while would help us get along and make up for all the fighting. Maybe we could have had a chance to talk things out and figure out what to fix.” 

You stop with a soft sigh. “We were getting bored. With work, with life, and maybe we did get bored with each other but neither of us could open up about it, much less admit it. Not even to ourselves.” 

Skye lets out a groan. “This is why I don’t do relationships,” she mutters before finishing her drink. The first glass. With the second one waiting on the table.

You give her a scoff, but smile at her comment before continuing, “He found out about the trip by chance. I was still logged in on his laptop after I borrowed it to check on my work email while I was staying over on the weekend. He accidentally opened the booking details when he was checking his email, thinking it was his account. He suspected me of planning to go with someone else, but even after I told him that the trip was for both of us, he wasn’t having it.” 

Skye leans forward when she hears this. “Wait, he’s pissed about a secret vacation?” she asks, looking unhappy and confused at the same time. You can’t really blame her. Because that is exactly how you feel about your ex’s reaction. “Why would he be? If it had been me, I would’ve been ecstatic about going.” 

“I wish I knew,” you groan, feeling just as frustrated as you had been then. “But he wasn’t just refusing to go. He started blaming me. Saying something about me holding him back or something. He said he had no time for a trip when he needed to be there and work for his promotion.” 

Thinking back to that day, remembering about the fight and the things you said to each other, you are reminded of the moment the fight left your body. Because you knew then that there was nothing left to fight over. 

“He never even brought up the fact that it was the date of our anniversary. I don’t think he even knew or remembered it,” you say with a bitter chuckle. “He broke it off, saying that he wanted to focus on his career and I would be keeping him behind. And I agreed because I knew that we’d wound up hurting each other if we’d stayed.” 

“I can understand that,” Skye gently says. The two of you share a sad smile when your eyes meet. “And you still went on that trip,” she guesses, sounding proud. She lifts her glass to you and says, “Good girl.” 

You merely shrug. “When I went to cancel the tickets for the trip, I thought it would be such a waste to throw everything away. So I decided that going solo would be a good idea and kept mine. Besides, I needed a moment to heal myself and get away from the city for a short while.” 

She laughs, agreeing with you. Then, just as she is about to say something, she suddenly stops. A knowing look comes across her gaze and she slowly gasps. “Don’t tell me—” she says, “You met someone while you were there.” 

You nod your head slowly and press your lips together. “Once again, you’re close. But that’s not exactly what happened.” Blowing out a deep breath, you slowly ask her, “Remember when I told you that I got held up for a day in transit?” 

“Yeah, I was so jealous of you that I still remember everything you told me about that trip,” she lets out a dreamy sigh, then her gaze snaps back at you. “But, it seems to me that you haven’t told me everything about the trip.” 

“No, I didn’t.” You grimace. “Anyway, that’s when I met him—” 

The memories return to you again as you share with your roommate about your encounter with the beautiful stranger. You remember vividly the way he spoke, the deep and gentle voice that he spoke to you with, and his captivating smile that made you swoon. Everything about him that made it hard for you to leave and say goodbye to him. 

You recount the way you enjoyed each other’s company that even after your terrible mood gradually became much better, and after you finished yet another drink, you simply couldn’t walk away and end the night with him so soon. You stayed longer, losing count of the time you spent with him and the drinks you had. 

“And then, one thing led to another, it just happened.” 

Skye’s eyes have grown so wide at this point, and her jaw has dropped in her surprise that she looks almost comical. “You hooked up with a stranger during your transit?” she asks you. The moment you nod your head, she switches her empty glass with the other. “I would drink to that.” 

You laugh just as she takes a hefty drink as if celebrating on your behalf. “Why do you sound so proud of me?” 

“Well,” she slowly starts, “We’ve known each other for so long. You have always been so put together, always followed the rules, and you are always so good at what you do. From school, to work, even the little things you have been doing on the side. But not when it comes to your sex life.” 

You know that she is right about everything. But it doesn’t stop you from picking up a cushion and hitting her with it. 

“Hey, you know I’m right,” she says while laughing and protecting the precious glass of wine. “Come on, you’ve never had any casual relationships or random hookups, and every chance I could have gotten to hook you up with my guy friends was gone when Hansol came into the picture.” 

Pouting, you pull the cushion back and hold it tightly in your arms. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” you admit with a sigh. “How do you get to know me so well?” 

“That’s because I love you enough to pay attention,” she smugly says while waving her glass around, sloshing the wine everywhere. “Why do you think I’ve been so protective of you over the years?” 

You roll your eyes and hit her with the cushion one last time, making her laugh, even though she is right. For as long as you have been friends with her, she has always been like an older sister to you. Not only for coming hard like a shield against the guys you ever introduced her to but also for the trivial things that not many people would pay much attention to. 

Like reminding you to eat properly when you are stressed out or too busy with work and school. 

You feel bad for relying on her so much over the years. But you also feel grateful about it. Just like how you’re feeling right now once you notice that you’re no longer feeling as stressed as you had earlier once you’re done dumping everything to her. 

Skye’s eyes turn back to you, landing on your covered belly as she curiously asks, “Are you positively sure that Hansol wasn’t the father?” 

You slowly nod your head. As much as you wish that you were wrong, you couldn’t have been mistaken about this.

“What are the odds that it was a false positive?” you suddenly question her, while she shrugs. 

“It’s possible,” she says. “But we can get some more test kits and redo the test. Just in case. Or you could make an appointment with the doctor straight away to make sure.” 

“Right, the doctor—” You let out a soft sigh and close your eyes briefly. It has been a while since you’ve seen your physician. The last time was before—

Oh, shit. 

Your eyes snap open right then. How long ago has it been since you’ve gone to see your physician? The last time was when you went to your regular appointment for your birth control. But that felt so long ago. 

Long before the trip. 

After that appointment, and once the break-up happened, you simply threw yourself into work so much you completely forgot about everything else. And since you were newly single, getting your birth control was the last thing you had in mind at the time. 

Fuck me, you inwardly groan without saying a thing to your roommate who is busy chattering about the doctor, making appointments, and offering to take you there herself. You know that she would lecture you about safe sex like a mother hen if you ever share this with her.

But wait…he wore a condom, right? Yes, you are quite sure he did. The details are blurry when you try to remember, but you do remember protection being involved. 

Groaning to yourself, you fall back on the sofa. Your head starts spinning again when you start worrying about other things. Once you start thinking of a problem that you may have to face, another one comes to mind. 

“What am I supposed to do with this baby?”  

Skye once again raises her eyebrows at you. “I think the right question should be what do you want to do?” she asks, while you can only shake your head.

“I don’t know,” you answer with a small voice. The only thing you can think of right now is how you are going to get through this holiday while being pregnant. You are supposed to be home for Christmas in two weeks, and knowing just how crazy your family truly is, you cannot imagine how they would react if they found out you are with a child. 

You close your eyes and let out a sigh. “And my family still have no idea that I broke up with Han.” 

“For once, I’m not jealous of your life,” Skye says as she sips her wine. But she is ready for it when you fling the cushion back at her and avoid it without spilling her drink. “Don’t worry. I think they’ll catch on about your failed relationship as soon as you walk into your family home without that hunk by your side.” 

Huffing, you hug the cushion in your arms and lean back. “I guess if they’re going to find out either way, I might as well just tell them the moment I got home.” 

Besides, it might be even harder to hide the fact that you are pregnant. You might not be showing yet, but there is no possible way you could avoid the questions that may come if you are still feeling so sick right in front of your family, or if your cravings suddenly get out of hand. 

Especially if Honey is there. Despite the early signs of dementia showing on her lately, your grandmother has always been so perceptive. And there is no telling what random things she may blurt out once she has some rum in her system. 

With so many different things to think about, you almost forget one important matter that you should be thinking about when it comes to the baby. And just like always, Skye is there to remind you of it. 

“Do you remember his name?” 

You turn to Skye with wide eyes, suddenly panicking inside. You can tell that she can see it on your face and is now sharing the same feeling when she suddenly knocks back the rest of her wine and groans, “Fuck, I’m gonna need more.” 

You watch her pour more wine into her glass, hastily drinking it right after, before turning to you again. “You didn’t get his name? At least tell me that you got his number before you went separate ways.”

You bite your lips. “It’s Tae.” 

“Tae—what?” 

You shake your head. “That’s it,” you let out a frustrated sigh. “That was the only name he ever gave me.” 

“Seriously?” 

Skye is freaking out, you can tell. But you close your eyes and rest your head back, shutting everything down as she starts ranting about how she was supposed to teach you better about hooking up with strangers and keeping yourself safe. 

With her voice turning into white noise at the back of your mind, your memories return to you, taking you back to the eventful night. 

You can almost feel yourself being back there again—back in the cold hotel bar with the scent of old wood and liquor lingering in the air; the murmuring sounds of people chatting and laughing, accompanied by the sound of glasses clinking together resonating through the space around you; back to his presence that felt so strong and intense you could barely feel anything else other than him as long as you had your attention fully on him.

“What’s your name?” You remember him asking you with his voice that grew more gentle and deeper the more he drank. 

You leaned into him and giggled in response as if he just said something funny to you. “Does it really matter?” 

His soft chuckle rumbled around you. The voice was so soft, yet you could hear it clearly because of how close you were leaning into him. “I’m sure I remember being taught not to talk to strangers.” 

“Are you telling me that you’ve been a good boy for listening to what your Mom taught you?” you teased him. It was obvious how tipsy you were at this point, which may have been the reason why you were growing more confident. 

“Oh, I’ve always been a good boy,” he answered you while looking amused. He went silent right after. His gaze seemed far away just for a fleeting moment before he finally said, “My name is Tae.” 

“Tae? That’s it?” you asked, “Is that a codename or something?” You feigned a surprise gasp before you leaned into him further to whisper, “Are you secretly a spy?” 

You felt his chest rumbling when he softly laughed. “Something like that, yeah,” he said, as he played along with your joke. 

But the moment you leaned away from him, you were surprised when you got to see something in him that you couldn’t see before. His guard was down, allowing you to see the vulnerability that was buried deep under his suave and smooth talking. 

For a brief moment, he looked broken. Just like you did. 

And from the way he was hiding himself, not only under the short nickname but also from the way he was masking his emotions, you could tell that he was looking for an escape from reality. The same way you did that night. 

So you simply smiled at him, choosing not to pry further to see beyond the mask and play along. Because at the same time, you wanted to hide your broken heart and become someone else to be able to forget everything. Just for one night. 

“Then you can call me Red. It’s my special codename for tonight.” 

His grin widened. You could almost see the relief washing over him through his warm gaze when he looked at you.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you tonight,” he said, still with his gentle voice that almost felt like sin licking on your skin when he called you, “Red.” 

Two weeks later…

“Here you go,” your mother���s voice snaps you from whatever stupor you have been stuck in. When you open your eyes, a glass of ginger tea has manifested right before you. 

“Drink this,” your Mom says as she points at the drink. “It should be good for your stomach.” 

Your breath gets caught in your throat. Furrowing your brows, you keep your eyes on the drink instead of reaching for it. Thoughts of those past mornings when you and Skye spent searching through the internet to find a way to get rid of your morning sickness come through your mind. 

Does she know? Did she figure it out already? Is it really that obvious? 

You clench your hands and resist the urge to rub against your stomach. It has become a habit of yours to rub around your belly as if trying to feel the baby that is hiding inside whenever you feel agitated.

After getting the positive results through the home test kits, you had gone straight to the doctor only days before you left the city to have it checked, confirming that a baby is growing inside you. It still feels unbelievable to think about it, even after you saw it yourself with your own eyes. 

“It’s still really early, and we might not be seeing much yet, but that’s your baby,” the doctor’s voice echoes through your mind as you tighten your clenched hands, thinking back to the day you went to have an ultrasound and saw for the first time the growing fetus that was said to be viable to grow fully as a baby. 

Just like how the baby inside you has been nothing more than a blob of mass floating inside your stomach in your mind, your belly itself has yet to change shape. Even if your full awareness of the baby’s presence has only been causing you to find small changes in your body that nobody else might be able to see. 

But Mom has been pregnant before, so wouldn’t she be able to see it? Will that be possible?

“Ginger tea is good for nausea and will give you some energy boost. Your grandma always made it for me whenever I had a stomach ache. I’m sure it’ll help get rid of your nausea and your upset stomach will turn better in no time.” Your Mom stops talking and sighs. “You should’ve told me that you were sick. I wouldn’t have let you drive all the way home if I had known.” 

Ah. 

You breathe a sigh of relief. You should be thankful that she believed you when you told her about having an upset stomach from the long drive home from the city. It was the only thing that you could think of as an excuse when your Mom wondered why you hadn’t been eating well since you got back home and why you were feeling sick.

It makes you wonder why you have been feeling unwell since you got home. Just when you had purposely waited until you were well enough and had stopped throwing up when you planned for the drive. 

It’s almost as if the baby is deliberately making you sick to let everyone know about your secret.

“Thanks, Mom,” you say to your Mom as you reach for the tea, hiding your relieved sigh as you gingerly drink in small sips. 

You have lost count of how many times Skye has made you this drink specifically to stop you from vomiting in the morning before going to work. It has been helping a lot to ease your ‘sickness’, and you are feeling it calming your stomach already as the drink warms your body. 

You can feel your mother’s eyes on you, making you feel uneasy to be under her watchful gaze. “I think it might be better if you get some rest and take things easy. But are you sure you’re okay?” your Mom asks again, still worrying about you. 

You continue drinking the ginger tea slowly while pressing down your guilt. You hate lying to your Mom the most, and now you are starting to regret driving home on your own. If the baby hadn’t been the one responsible for your current sickness, then perhaps driving the long distance has been the reason why your nausea is now coming back with a vengeance.

So much for trying to not draw any suspicions. 

“I’m fine, Mom. Really,” you sigh as you place the glass down. “The tea is helping me already. I’ll feel better soon, I promise.” 

Your Mom says nothing for a moment, but the crease you see forming on her forehead says differently. “I’m not just talking about you being sick. Maybe there’s another reason why you’re feeling faint?” 

You look up at her just then. The moment you catch the pitiful look she is giving you, you finally understand what she is trying to say. 

Just as Skye predicted, it didn’t take long for your family to take notice of your solo arrival. In the past, Hansol would have joined you to visit your family for a day or two during the holidays before he would return to his family on Christmas day. So his absence was quite obvious from the get-go. 

And with the big lie that you have to hide from everyone at home, you had to at least give them one honest truth the moment they started asking. 

“We ended things a few months ago,” you admitted to your family during the first dinner you had since you got home. By that time, you had already tried to avoid the questions for long enough. Nobody has brought up about it again since then. 

Until now. 

“If you’re talking about the breakup, there’s nothing to worry about. I’m okay, Mom. It’s been months since it happened. I’ve been trying to move one.” 

In fact, you haven’t been thinking about your ex at all for a long time. Not until you brought it up to Skye and then again when your family started questioning. The only thing you have been worrying about lately is the baby growing inside you and finding a way to search for the father of the baby. 

It was the one thing that you talked about with Skye before you left. While you are capable enough to raise the baby on your own, you decided it would be the best course of action to contact the father and let him know.

In Skye’s own words, “Just in case.” 

Just in case the father would care enough to know that he has a son or a daughter coming into this world and wants to be in their life. 

“But if we fail to find him or he wants nothing to do with the baby, then we’ll deal with it on our own. You just got your promotion, I got my good pay. We can raise the baby together. You and me, just like old times.”

Skye’s words put a smile on your face. She always knows how to lift your spirit up whenever you feel like giving up, and those exact words have helped boost your confidence and made you believe that you could get through this. 

But first, you just need to get through spending this holiday with your family. 

“I know you said that. But as your Mom, I can’t help but worry. I thought you were serious and we’ll be hearing some good news about you getting married this year.” 

You resist the urge to roll your eyes. “Yeah, that’s not going to happen. Sorry, Mom,” you tease her with a bitter chuckle. You don’t bother to mention that the two of you had never once talked about marriage throughout your relationship.

Yet another sign that you overlooked. At least you never got to waste anymore time with him.

“Things just didn’t work out between us. It happens when a couple grow into two different people in the course of their relationship. Which was exactly what happened to us. Hansol wanted to focus on his career, in return, I also got the chance to focus on mine.” 

Just as you said the words, you realise that this is true for your case. 

Hansol has always been career-driven, and it has been growing stronger lately for him with the constant rise he was experiencing in his current company. And breaking up with your long-time boyfriend has allowed you to turn your focus on your job. The recent promotion you gained was a testament to your hard work to show you that there might be a silver lining to everything that has happened. 

“I suppose you’re right,” your Mom says with a smile. You are beginning to feel a bit relieved that she seems to understand. You are hoping that she would start talking about something else when she adds, “I just feel sad that it didn’t work out for you. And we were all expecting to have Hansol joining us again this year. I guess it’s too late now to let your sister know about this since she’s supposed to arrive today.” 

Stepsister. 

You lift your glass and slowly drink your tea to stop yourself from correcting her. For some reason, you feel a bit bitter having your mother mention her all so suddenly. 

It isn’t that you hate your stepsister. It’s hard to feel something so extreme when you barely had any relationship with her at all. Back when you were younger, your mother did try to get you two to get along and be friends. 

To make her happy, you tried your best to act friendly, or at least to be cordial whenever she was around, even when the only thing she showed you over the years had been nothing but contempt. 

But things changed after a drunken fit that she had last holiday season, when she got drunk and tried to make a move and openly flirted with your then-boyfriend. Even if nothing ever came out of it except for her own embarrassment, as Hansol openly rejected her and stayed away from her for the remaining time he was here, the incident still left a bad taste that made you feel bitter. 

That was when you finally decided that you would stop trying to be nice.

You put down the glass and try to remain calm. What’s done is done. All you have to do is focus on getting through this holiday before going back to the city and start with your mission to search for the baby’s father.

“What does Alia have to do with my break up?” you ask your mother, hoping that she wouldn’t bring up the drama from last year. 

“Oh, it’s nothing serious, really,” your Mom answers with a soft chuckle, “It’s just that Alia called home sometime last week, asking if she could bring someone over this Christmas. She said that she’s been seeing someone new and since she was bringing him to meet her mother, she wondered if it would be okay if she could bring him along to meet us too.” 

Your Mom sighs, looking a bit guilty when she adds, “We figured since you might bring Hansol with you, it would be okay if she has her new boyfriend along. Maybe the guys could get along and spend time together while you and Alia catch up.” 

You try to imagine you and Alia catching up like old friends or—just like what your Mom has been wishing you to be—as sisters, and you almost shake your head. 

Yeah, that seems unlikely, you bitterly wonder to yourself, yet you don’t have the heart to tell your mother that there is not much hope for you and Alia to be good friends. 

“I guess it’s a shame that Hansol isn’t here,” you simply say to your mother while you inwardly wonder just what your stepsister is really up to this year. 

“Yeah, it’s unfortunate,” your mother says with a sigh. “But I’m glad that at least both of you girls can make it home this year.” 

“Me too, Mom,” you force a smile, silently hoping that you can start talking about something else. Something that doesn’t concern your bitter stepsister coming home or bringing up any dark thoughts about your ex. “So, what are we having for dinner? Want my help in the kitchen?” 

Your question immediately puts everything into motion, drifting her attention away from your sappy story and the false hope of sisterhood that may never happen between you and your stepsister. Your Mom tries to stop you from helping out in the kitchen at first but finally gives in when you keep insisting. 

At least, this way, you can keep your mind busy enough to stop it from thinking about unnecessary thoughts the way it often does when you are alone. 

Things seem to be going on well enough at first, until your sickness returns and you have to give up trying. 

”See, I told you that you should be resting until you feel better,” your mother complains as she watches you bending over, keeping away from the stove and what is currently cooking on top of it which seems to be making you feel dizzy and sick. 

After garlic, lemon-scented air freshener, and coconut milk, seems you are going to have to add raw chicken to the list of things that may trigger your nausea.

“But then I’ll be bored like hell,” you argue, “I’m fine, Mom. Just let me take a quick break for a minute.” 

Your mother looks as if she wants to say something, but the sound of a car coming into the driveway interrupts her. Both of you turn to look out towards the living room, just in time to see your stepfather, Cliff, turning in the corner of the hall and rushing towards the front door. 

“Honey, they’re here!” he calls out, and you urge your mother to join him. 

“Go, Mom. I’ll finish things up and make sure nothing gets burned before I join you guys.”

Once your mother is out of the kitchen, you can no longer resist pressing your palm on your stomach. 

“Seriously, baby,” you whisper to the non-existent bump under your sweater, “Please take it easy, will you? I’m really struggling here, and you’re not making things easy for me. Trust me, it would be too soon for everyone to find out about you. At least wait until we can find a clue about your Dad, okay?” 

As if the baby inside you is listening, even if it is still barely full-grown at this point, your body grows calmer and the nausea slowly wanes. 

“Thank you, baby,” you whisper to your stomach once again before finally focusing on the stove and the oven, deliberately taking your time with what you do just so you can have a reason not to join the dramatic reunion happening right this minute. 

From this side of the kitchen, the front door isn’t completely visible. But you can hear everything as the door opens and your stepfather joyfully welcomes his daughter. 

Hearing his voice makes you smile. You may have had a tumultuous relationship with your stepsister, but the same cannot be said with your stepfather. Cliff has always been a great role model, and your relationship with him has always been great from the start. 

It makes you feel guilty when you think about the previous encounters where you and your stepsister simply gave each other cold shoulders or when you were met with altercations just because of how different the two of you are. But there is no helping it. Nothing has changed over the years no matter how hard you tried. Not even once you have become adults. 

You can’t even remember how it first started. And frankly, you no longer care. Last year’s incident was already enough to let you know that the sisterhood that your parents have been forcing you into was beyond saving. 

The voices coming from the front door continue for a moment longer. This time, you get to hear your mother’s voice joining in the conversation and Alia’s soft voice answering her questions. You make no effort to listen to what they are saying and tune out their voices, until your mother’s voice calls out to you. 

“______, your sister is here. Come and say hi.” 

Your mother’s words make you stop. Slowly, you turn down the heat on the stove and turn to make your way towards the front door to join the family reunion. 

“It’s stepsister,” you mutter under your breath as you drag your feet, taking your sweet time while you try to compose yourself before having to face the unwanted guests. 

As you turn around the corner, merely moments before the front door finally comes into view, you get to hear another voice speaking. The voice that you couldn’t clearly hear from the kitchen while you were tuning their conversation out. 

“I’m sorry for intruding. But thank you for having me here.” 

That voice. 

You immediately come to a halt. An uneasy feeling runs through your body when you realise that you recognise this voice and have grown to know it quite well. 

There is no mistaking it. You may not have gotten his full name on the night you met, and his face has somewhat become a faint mirage in your dreams at night whenever you are taken back to the night of your hookup.

But you cannot say the same about his voice. 

That deep and gentle voice will always be engraved in your memory. Even now, the only thing you would need to do is close your eyes and listen, and allow the voice to take you back to that specific night once more, where he used this voice to say sinful words that you could feel caressing your fragile heart while he was bringing you to the peak of pleasure.

And now you are hearing that voice here, at your home, idly chatting with your mother by the front door. 

“_______, are you coming?” your mother calls again, and you know that there is no avoiding it. You have to face reality, even if that means you must come face to face with the man who is responsible for placing you in this situation.

Tamping down the rush of nerves going through your body, you slowly march ahead. Bracing yourself as you turn around the corner and enter the living room where everyone is currently gathering in.

Your eyes fall on your stepsister first. 

Alia has always looked so vibrant and beautiful, drawing all kinds of attention from everyone in the room whenever she is present. Yet when you look at her now, there seems to be a new kind of light emerging from her. Even her smile seems brighter as she chats along with your stepfather.  

And you soon realise the reason why she is shining brightly today as you turn your gaze to look at the person standing beside her. To finally see him. 

He looks just like how you remember him. Tall and lean, with his arms and chest filling up his sweater. He has his hair falling over a part of his face, just enough of a mess that seems as if he has been running his fingers through the wavy strands. As he converses with your mother, he shows his boxy grin that seems familiar to your eyes. 

Too familiar. 

Because it looks just the same as the wide grin that was teasing and flirting with you on one eventful night at the transit hotel weeks ago. 

No. That can’t be.

The baby’s daddy is here. The man who you were planning to look for once you return to the city. 

He is here, today, appearing at the front door of your parents’ home together with your stepsister. His long fingers that had once entangled between the strands of your hair are now entwined with your stepsister’s dainty fingers. And there is no mistaking the matching couple rings that are glowing under the sunlight coming from their entwined hands. 

Before you get the chance to process what is happening, you hear him introducing himself to your stepfather, “It’s good to see you, Sir. My name is Taehyung.” 

No. 

You stifle a gasp. It feels like you have been sucker-punched right in the chest that you can barely breathe. 

Taehyung, you wonder. Tae? 

All of a sudden, you feel as if the ground beneath your feet is tilting over, slowly taking you down with it. And since you seem to have lost the ability to move your feet, the only thing you can do to stop yourself from falling is to clench your hands tightly by your side. Tight enough to feel pain as your nails are sinking into your palms, convincing you that this is not a dream. 

Yet you are still in denial as you watch the interaction happening right before your eyes. Because there is no way this is happening. There is no possible way that it is truly him. 

Please. Please don’t let it be him. 

It must have been your mind playing tricks on you. Because there is no way that he is here. Not as your stepsister’s new boyfriend. 

This must be a mistake. Yes, you are probably confused and all the thoughts of finding your baby daddy are messing up with your head, forcing you to believe that your stepsister’s new boyfriend is your mysterious baby daddy. The fact that they have the same name must have been pure coincidence. 

For once in your life, you don’t want to be right. You have to be wrong. 

Please tell me that it’s not him. 

Just then, as if life was listening to your prayers, as if life has yet to have enough of its games to play around with your heart, the man turns his gaze away from your parents. And those pretty eyes land on you. 

As if there is a switch turned, the brightness in his gaze fades. His beautiful eyes are filled with recognition. It is so subtle that you are quite sure that nobody else around you notices it, but it is enough to let you know that your memories have been right all along. 

Because those are the same eyes that you saw looking back at you with pure lust and sin while he was bringing you wanton pleasure, when you made love as if both of you had been under a spell, right on the very night that may have changed your fate forever. 

Fuck. 

Me.

At one glance, this moment would seem like any other pre-holiday family dinner. It may seem picture perfect, even—if you had been a stranger looking in. 

There are still a couple of days left until Christmas Day, yet the festive mood has already filled the room. From the living room, all the way to the dining room, Christmas decorations are already plastered across the walls and hung from the ceiling. On the dining table, the delectable meal that your mother worked hard to prepare—with your poor assistance—had been perfectly laid out. 

With Alia’s arrival today, the immediate family is now complete. Ever the charming daughter, Alia takes up the attention of everyone around her as she shares her story—about how she has been travelling between different states and some neighbouring countries, changing jobs, finding new hobbies, and even planning to adopt a new pet. 

Sitting at the head of the table, your stepfather is soaking it all in, enjoying the time he has with his daughter whom he rarely gets to see throughout the year. Your mother sits on his right, getting the front seat of their merry reunion. She would sometimes chime in, never failing to try to get you into joining their idle chat even when you are not feeling up to it. 

Other times, you would have been able to easily play along. From making cordial comments and joining with all the light jokes shared by your family, or feigning interest in anything that Alia might be sharing at the table—even when she rarely would share the same courtesy when you did the same. 

Tonight, however, it feels like a struggle for you to focus on the conversation shared at the table, let alone pretend to be interested. Not when you are busy trying your best to calm your nerves. 

You can't even embrace the same warm atmosphere that everyone seems to be sharing. 

For you, the air around feels stifling and tense. It has been this way ever since you sat down right next to your mother for dinner. Because due to the seating arrangement, the special guest of the night is now sitting right across from you at the table. 

Taehyung. 

The last person that you had ever expected to see. Not here. Certainly not at your home or sharing the same space with your parents. 

It seems surreal to meet him here like this. Even more so when he was introduced to your family as Alia’s new boyfriend.

Judging from the way he reacted when he first saw you, you can tell that he never expected something like this could ever happen. You know that he has questions, perhaps just as much as you do, yet the situation that you found yourself in right now isn’t allowing you to even show any sign that the two of you know each other or to have met before today. 

But there is something in the way he is looking at you that doesn’t sit right with you. Aside from the lingering shock you see each time your eyes accidentally meet each other, there is a look that shows a semblance of guilt, despair, and at the same time, filled with wonder. 

Was it because he never expected to see you again after that night, much less to find out that you are somehow related to the woman that he is dating? Or was there something else going through his mind? 

“This is Alia’s sister, ______,” was what your mother said when she first introduced you to him. At that point, you and Taehyung were stunned to silence, and for a brief moment, neither of you reacted. 

Thinking about it now, you can’t even remember how you managed to join your family in the living room. The moment you saw Taehyung standing there, your legs nearly gave out. It was a wonder how you managed to stop yourself from falling or tripping as you walked over to them in a state of distraught. 

“Hi, it’s good to see you,” was all that you managed to croak out of once you snapped out of it. You didn’t even give him a chance to respond when you suddenly turned your attention to your stepsister, forcing a smile on your face when you greeted her, “Hey, Alia. It’s good to see you. You seem well.” 

You can’t even remember the expression that Alia gave you when she responded to you, “Uh yeah, thanks. You too.” 

“Right. Well, I’ll let you guys settle in. I left the stove on, so—” 

That was the last thing you said before you turned away and quickly left the room, practically running away from him to hide back in the kitchen. The last thing you heard as you walked away was your mother’s voice saying something about you being her assistant of the day in the kitchen while you were feeling unwell, as if excusing you for your unmannerly attitude. 

By the time you got back in the kitchen, your hands were shaking, your heartbeat was racing so fast you could barely breathe. It took a long time for the shock to wane, and you had spent the rest of the day staying away from both of them, avoiding him entirely until you were finally called to join dinner. 

And you are still avoiding him even now, keeping your head down as much as you can and resisting the urge to look his way. As if it isn’t hard enough for you to have him sitting right in front of you, you can feel the heat of his gaze constantly following you whenever you are not looking.

He doesn’t make it so obvious, and it doesn’t seem like anyone else has noticed it yet. Perhaps you are just too hyperaware of his presence that you caught on to it so easily.

You sneak a glance at your stepsister, wondering if Alia has taken notice of her boyfriend’s wandering gaze or where he has been directing his eyes. It takes you watching the conversation between her and your parents more closely to see it. 

Because it turns out that she also has her own gaze wandering to questionable places at the same time that she isn’t paying much attention to her boyfriend. 

Each time Alia turns to regard your mother or speak to her, her gaze flickers away briefly, ever so subtly landing on the seat to your right. At the seat that Hansol would usually occupy whenever he joined you during these holiday visits. 

It is easy to catch it when you are seeing it from your angle. And it is easy to guess what is going through her head when she keeps doing it with a curious look written all over her face. An unspoken question seems to linger, while the incident from last year keeps flashing through your head when you picture Hansol being present beside you. 

Even if nobody notices her intention, you doubt that anyone would question her about it, seeing that the seat that was supposed to be left empty has been taken by someone else. 

While you are busy trying to make sense out of everything, your grandmother makes a disapproval noise with her tongue, grabbing your attention. “Are you still feeling under the weather? You’ve been drinking that boring thing the whole day,” she says, referring to the glass of iced tea that you have just put down after taking a drink from it to cool down. 

You turn to look at your dear grandmother, Honey, and smile at her. She probably hasn’t realised what a saving grace she has been for taking the unoccupied seat to your right the minute she came in for dinner. 

And she is now helping you again by drawing your attention away from the source of your dismay. Immediately, you feel better the moment you are met with Honey’s smile. 

“I’m feeling much better, actually. I’m just being careful not to drink anything that might get me sick,” you answer carefully, hoping to sound reasonable enough without making anyone question your ‘sickness’ any further. 

The more you lie to your family about it, the more guilty you feel. You don’t have much choice at the moment but to hide it just a bit longer. 

At first, you couldn’t share the news with your parents simply because you were still clueless about how you were going to find the father of the baby with only limited information you had of him. But then things only got even more complicated for you to ever come clean when he walked through the front door of your parents’ home. 

What are the odds that the man you hooked up with turns out to be the man your stepsister is currently dating? And here you are now, stuck in the same room with them while hiding a secret which may change the course of everyone’s entire life.

Yeah, miracles don’t exist. Not for me, at least.

Honey taps at your hand on the table as you grow silent, oblivious to the thoughts running through your head. “You know what you need?” she asks, whispering in a conspiring tone that she barely keeps down so that everyone at the table can still hear her voice. 

And she does it while looking at you with her wide, expecting eyes, with the barely concealed mischief written all over her face. It makes you smile, knowing where this is going. So you simply play along. 

"No, Honey. What would that be?” 

Her mischievous smile widens as she leans closer. “A hint of rum. With a few drops into that boring tea of yours, you’ll feel better in no time,” she says, lifting her hand and showing you a pinching gesture with her thumb and forefinger nearly touching each other, “Just a pinch. Or better yet, just trade your whole glass—” 

The sound of your Mom’s frustrated sigh cuts her off. “Mom, I already told you, giving her alcohol isn’t going to make her feel better. I’ve already given her some herbal tea, that should be enough until she can get a proper rest.”

“Oh, posh,” Honey says, waving her hand at your mother. “Ignore your Mom,” Honey says just as you are about to respond. “I’m telling you. Alcohol is best to cure your heartbreak,” she adds, and you certainly have no arguments against that. Alcohol might be able to help you forget. 

But, alas…

But, wait a minute. You stop and look closely at Honey. What is she talking about? 

“What do you mean?” you question her while tilting your head, wondering deep down if she had noticed something. Surely, she wouldn’t be able to tell the high tension rolling between you and Taehyung through dinner. 

Nobody else could. But you also know that if there is anyone in your family who might be able to catch on with the tension rolling between the two of you, it would be Honey. 

Once again, Honey reaches out and taps her dainty fingers on the back of your hand. “Isn’t that why you’re feeling down, peaches? I know you’re still thinking about that good for nothing—” 

Honey stops herself and bites down her smile before you can figure out what she is about to say. But you have heard enough to understand who she is referring to. 

Relief washes over you when you realise that she was talking about your ex, Hansol. She must have thought that you have been stressing over the breakup and you have been feeling unwell because of it.

Honey leans in, this time lowering her voice just enough only for you to hear. “You must’ve taken it from me. I also get a stomach bug when I’m stressed out. Just like last summer when I lost a go-stop game against the ladies from the block,” she says, before she continues blabbering about how she had made bets during the game and went all-in only to lose everything. 

“You might think that they’re nothing but small pennies used for gambling coins, but I spent a whole week collecting them. How am I supposed to replace all of them before the next game?” she continues to complain, while you laugh at her. 

Her story takes away the tension on your shoulders for a brief moment before she adds, “And then you had to come here and watch these two being all lovey-dovey with each other.” 

As Honey mentions the pair sitting across the table, waving her hand at them to make a point, your eyes are drawn towards them once more. And your gaze lands right on Alia’s hand which is now resting on top of Taehyung’s. 

Seeing this makes you feel tight in the chest. Bitterness fills your mouth which you can barely hide with a tight smile. Honey may not have been entirely correct with her assumptions, yet her comment still hits the mark somehow. 

Not about Hansol, obviously, as he is the one to occupy your mind the least. Yet she wasn’t too far off when she talked about the new pair of lovers before you. Seeing them does make you uncomfortable, miserable even, but for entirely different reasons. 

Looking away from their joined hands, your gaze meets Alia’s. She is wearing an unreadable expression on her face as she listens in to Honey’s words. And the strange look that she is giving you now is making you feel uneasy.

Just as you start wondering if Alia has noticed something, she instead asks you, “You guys broke up?” 

She throws a quick glance at Honey’s seat with a frown. For others, she might seem concerned, yet there is a look in her eyes which tells you that there is something more. “I was wondering why I haven’t seen him around. He was with us last holiday.” 

Her comment rubs you in the wrong way. You have no idea why she would care when your relationship has nothing to do with her. But you try to not let it bother you. “Yes, it’s been months now since we broke up. I only told Mom and Dad yesterday when I first got home.” 

“I see,” she says. Her voice comes out so softly that it almost comes out as a murmur. She pulls her hand back and places it on her lap. “That’s too bad. I’m sorry,” she adds while offering a small smile. And for some reason, she also seems guilty. 

Does she think it has something to do with what happened last year? 

Her words remind you of something that she said to you last year, back on the morning you confronted her after her drunken blunder which happened the night before. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking. I didn’t mean anything, I swear. It’s just drunk talking.” 

That incident shouldn’t be bothering you today. Yet it still makes you feel bitter when you think about it. The feeling only grows worse when you glance at Taehyung who is showing a sudden interest in this whole thing. 

“It’s fine. Sometimes things just don’t work out,” you simply repeat the same thing you said to your mother earlier while biting back the real question that is hanging right at the tip of your tongue. 

But what’s in it to you? 

No matter how curious you are to know what kind of scheme that is going through her pretty little head, you know it’s not worth all the drama that it might cause. You cannot even possibly imagine the drama that would unfold once this whole baby thing comes out.

God, just thinking about it is already making your stomach churn. Your lower abdomen suddenly feels hard and heavy. As if you have a full-size lead inside instead of a small, growing blob that is about to form into an actual living baby within a few weeks from now. 

Thinking about the baby, your eyes find the man who is behind all of this. He has grown oddly quiet while you were conversing with your stepsister and is now staring at his food with a frown on his face.

“So tell me,” you ask calmly while clenching your hands, doing your best to hide the trembles, “How did you two meet?”

This question immediately draws Taehyung’s attention. His eyes snap up, but the moment he looks at you, his face seems to grow pale and he becomes awfully nervous.

“We, uh—we used to work at the same company before Alia left to venture into other things,” he says, almost stuttering. He also keeps stealing glances at Alia, as if begging her to help him out. 

Huh, strange.

What is it about answering your simple question which makes him so nervous? 

Or perhaps…

Have they been seeing each other when the two of you hooked up? 

Fuck. 

The moment this thought crosses your mind, you suddenly feel sick. Your stomach grows heavier with anxiety. Meanwhile, Alia’s smile seems to beam brighter. 

“We didn’t work in the same division back then, but we would frequently meet during breaks and company hours. Had it been, what, a year after we last met?” Alia turns to Taehyung, who stiffly nods his head. She grabs his hand once again and looks at him lovingly as she continues, “We met again last summer by chance while I was travelling and started talking since then.” 

Last summer? But that was before—

Your head starts spinning. You grab your glass and take a couple of small sips of your tea to regain composure, yet the drink suddenly tastes bitter on your tongue. 

Honey’s voice barely registers in your brain when she responds with a hum. “Travelling in the summer? That sounds like a charming way to meet a new lover,” she says, lifting her mug to her lips as she continues marvelling at your stepsister’s story. “You must have felt some sparks when you two met. I bet you’re still feeling it now, aren’t you?”

You have no idea what she has inside that ceramic mug, as she had been nursing the same drink since even before dinner started. You can bet money that she had more than a pinch of rum dropped inside that drink of hers, seeing how talkative she is becoming. 

Oh, how you wish you could have a taste of it. Just a sip would have been good enough. Maybe it can also help to stop your hands from trembling. 

“And the ring?” Honey asks again with a teasing tone as she points at their entwined hands. “I noticed that you two are wearing matching rings. You can’t possibly be engaged already, can you?” 

Almost choking on your drink, you slowly set your glass back down and pull your hands onto your lap, hiding them from prying eyes just in time as they begin to shake.

“But it wasn’t that different back in the day,” Honey continues, “I remember that Russ—that’s my dear late husband,” she explains to Taehyung, “he bought me a cheap ring at the beginning of our relationship to show me and my parents that he was serious about courting me.” 

On any other times that Honey would speak about your late grandfather, you would always enjoy listening to every word, admiring how she would always share her story with pure love in her voice and wonder glowing in her eyes. 

But not this time. 

Ever since she pointed out the ring and started talking about your grandfather’s old promises, you start having trouble breathing. The more she speaks, the worse it gets, and now there is a ringing sound echoing in your ear that seems to be coming from different directions. 

“I still keep the ring with me, side by side with the wedding ring that doesn’t fit anymore on these wrinkly fingers of mine,” Honey keeps gushing. She raises her hands and starts wiggling her fingers to show them off, while your whole body grows tense. 

Alia shares a nervous laugh with Taehyung and waves her hand at Honey. “Oh, no…it’s actually a part of a joke that we—” 

You try to tune out the voices, the words that are being said, while clasping your hands tighter together on your lap, but the shaking doesn’t stop. Alia’s voice fades in and out beyond the loud ringing in your head as she continues to tell her story about how they started dating and the ring came to be. With everything that is going on, added with your awareness over Taehyung’s intense gaze that doesn’t seem to waver, it becomes too overwhelming that you feel as if you are slowly being swallowed into the ground beneath you. 

With a sharp gasp, you slowly push yourself out of your seat. “Excuse me, I have to—” your voice cracks as you speak. As you stand, you notice that everyone has their eyes on you, all curious to know what is happening with you. 

“_______?” you hear your mother calling you.

You can feel the blood draining from your face under all the unwanted attention, making you wish that you could just fade away right at that moment. But then your hand find its way to your stomach, and it almost feels like there is a touch of warmth forming under your palm. It helps you force a smile and gather yourself just enough to say, “I’m sorry, but I’m not feeling well, so I’m going to step out early. I hope that’s alright. You guys enjoy the rest of dinner.” 

You don’t wait for anyone’s response as you turn away, finding your escape merely moments before you get into a full-blown meltdown right in front of everyone. 

Your legs are wobbly as you walk down the hall, yet you still manage to slip into the guest bathroom downstairs. With trembling hands, you lock the door behind you, shutting yourself from the world outside. 

And that is when you fall apart, turning into a heaving mess as everything that you have been bottling up inside comes flooding out of you. 

“Breathe,” you command yourself while you fight back against your nausea. Holding onto the bathroom counter, you keep yourself and try your best to focus on controlling your breath. 

Take a slow, deep breath. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. 

Little by little, all the tension, the trembling, and the tightness in your chest begin to wane. But once everything is gone, once you begin to find calmness, your emotions seize control of you.

The next thing you know, an unstoppable flow of tears comes running down your face and you start sobbing, crying in defeat. 

“Shit. Fuck. What a mess,” you curse between each sob, feeling absolutely helpless and alone. You close your eyes, hoping that you can clear your head by doing so. Yet your mind keeps going to dark places. Constantly wondering and questioning about all of this. 

About him. 

“Did he ever mention anything that was related to his personal life that night?” you cannot help but wonder out loud. 

Only silence answers. Because you hold little to no recollection of the details from the conversation you shared with him that night. Whenever you try to remember, it always feels like there was a part of your memory that had gone missing. 

You haven’t had the slightest clue of the things you shared with him at the bar once the drinks started coming more frequently. Which is a wonder, because you are completely sure that neither of you had gotten drunk enough to experience a blackout, much less lose a memory.

At least for you, the alcohol was just enough to burn through your nerves and help build your confidence to take the lead and openly show the attraction you had for him. Even if he did end up taking back control the moment the two of you finally gave in to temptation. 

Your head starts pounding, aching the more you try to remember the missing details. Meanwhile, all the questions won’t stop coming, making it harder for you to regain a peaceful mind.

Did he ever mention having a girlfriend, or at least give any hint that he was taken? 

Was he wearing that ring on his finger when he was touching your skin under the dim light of his bedroom suite? 

You shake your head and close your eyes again when you still remember nothing. The only thing that remains in your memory is the look you saw in his gaze that night. The pitiful look that seemed to mirror yours, making you believe that he was looking for the same thing you did that night. 

An escape. A way to forget even if for a moment. 

But what if that was all just another lie? 

Your stomach churns. A sharp pain comes shooting through your body. It starts from your lower abdomen, causing you to almost double over. 

Fuck. Now what? 

Your hand instantly comes down to your stomach, pressing and rubbing gently against it until the uncomfortable ache ebbs under your touch. 

Right, I’m supposed to avoid any form of stress, you remind yourself as you recall what your doctor told you the last time you went to see her. Something about getting your blood tension rising when you are stressed, and that it wouldn’t be good for both you and the baby in the long run. Closing your eyes, you try to think of happy thoughts, all while keeping your palm pressed on your stomach.

To your surprise, rubbing your palm against the barely-there baby bump on your belly isn’t just helping you to soothe the pain away, but also to calm yourself down. 

With a sigh, you gently wipe your tears and look down. “I’m sorry for swearing so much, baby. I promise to stop doing it once you’ve grown big enough to start hearing things so you won’t learn any of it too soon. But fuck, this is too much.” 

It feels odd to speak like this to the living being growing inside you that is barely more than a piece of flesh. Yet speaking to your growing baby seems to help ease your anxiety a little. 

Better yet, it helps make you feel less alone. 

“Let’s not think any bad thoughts. Let’s not assume that your Dad is an asshole, okay? Not until we get to hear the full story,” you whisper to the tiny human growing inside you. The more you speak to it, the more it seems to be helping you to find some ease of mind. 

But even if it turns out that he was…

“Then I can deal with it later with my head held high,” you murmur to yourself in a soft, yet reassuring tone of voice. And you repeat it again, and again, almost as if you are chanting a spell which would be able to give you a boost of confidence. 

It may not immediately change the way you look at things, yet you can feel it slowly rising within you. It feels like a ray of light, the first spark of hope that you get to feel amid all the uncertainty which surrounds you.

Soon enough, the strong urge to cry no longer overcomes you. Even your hands have stopped shaking. All that you have left is exhaustion. It rolls through your body with a vengeance, and there is nothing that you want more right now other than to curl up like a ball on your bed and sleep it off. 

You raise your head to look at yourself in the mirror, and instantly a bitter laugh escapes you at what you are seeing.

Because you look like a complete mess. Your life is slowly turning into shambles, and it seems to be mocking you through your own reflection that is now staring back at you. 

“Just exactly what I need,” you whisper with a sigh.

I need to be stronger, if only for the sake of this little one in me, you tell yourself as you splash cold water at your face to wash away all the mess—the drying tears, your swollen eyes, and the skin on your face which has yet to regain its normal colours. 

It feels therapeutic to be washing everything off, leaving nothing more but your swollen eyes which you can explain as a part of your sickness. You may not be strong enough to take on the world, but at least now, you are prepared to face the reality that is waiting for you right outside of this door. 

No matter how fucking messy it is. 

Having this new revelation should be giving you a newfound credence that could push you forward. And yet there is none of that here. The only thing you are feeling now is the new bout of anxiety rolling up through your body, starting from your stomach as it churns painfully.

“Yeah, now I feel sick,” you groan as you rush to the toilet bowl, seconds away before you start dumping the small amount of food you had during dinner into waste. 

It takes a bit longer than expected before you finally find the courage to step out of the bathroom. 

Soft murmurs filter into the bathroom the moment you open the door. You can tell that the voices are coming from the living room, which means that the family has gathered there after dinner. It allows you to breathe a sigh of relief. At least this way you wouldn’t have to hide or make excuses if you have to bump into someone on your way to your bedroom.

Stepping out of the bathroom, you are relieved that nobody is around. Everyone should be in the living room, so you make haste, hoping to be able to escape before anyone notices. 

But as you turn to the next hallway, someone is standing in your way. The light is dim, yet you can easily recognise him before you get any closer. Standing with his back leaning against the wall, he has his hands tucked into his pockets and his eyes looking absently into the distance. 

As though he has been waiting for you. 

Taehyung turns when he notices you coming. Before you can start to wonder what he is doing here, a smile grows on his face.

“Hey, is everything okay? Everyone was worried,” he asks you, sounding genuinely concerned. 

The calm tone of his voice might be a bit deceiving if only you are not looking into his eyes. His gaze keeps wavering as he speaks, as if he is unable to look at you for too long. The same guilt you saw earlier is still present in his eyes. And you hate seeing it there. 

It only tells you that he has a secret that he is keeping from you. You have no idea how to feel about it. But if it has to do with his relationship with Alia, then—

“I’m fine, it’s just—” 

Your cheeks grow warm the moment you speak, feeling embarrassed at how dry your voice sounds. “It’s nothing. You heard my Mom, I’ll be better in no time.” 

You have so many things to say to him. So many questions that you would like to give him. But you are too tired to do anything. Much less to talk. As much as you can convince yourself that you are ready to face anything, now is not the right time to do it. 

So you keep your mouth shut and try to walk past him instead. Only that he isn’t letting you go that easily. 

“You know, it really is nice to see you again, Red.” 

His voice sounds so subdued that you almost miss it. You come to a halt. Your heartbeat starts picking up again. If you ever needed confirmation that the sinful night you shared with him truly happened, and that he remembered any part of it, then this is it. 

His comment which instantly brings you back to that fateful night. The nickname that he used to call you then.

You close your eyes, refusing to remember the way he managed to draw out a myriad of sensations with his voice alone. You refuse to be brought back there again. Not now, when your mind isn’t clear enough to be dealing with this. Taking a deep breath, you compose yourself just enough to face him.

Only to be met with his amused smile as he looks at you. 

“I was surprised to see you. I never would have thought that you could somehow be related to Alia.” He lets out a chuckle. It sounds empty and a bit bitter, mirroring exactly how you are feeling right now. 

Your chest feels tight, hating the way he is saying her name. Nor do you enjoy seeing the way his gaze changes when he does it. Annoyance fills your chest that you can barely speak, while he remains in his blissful ignorance as he continues talking, 

“Funny how life works, doesn’t it? I kept thinking about you after we met and wondered if we would ever see each other again. I regretted that I didn’t ask for your number before we parted ways. I didn’t even get to ask for your real name.” 

The tightness in your chest grows tenfold. 

You never admitted it before—not to yourself, and not even to Skye, when you first talked about him—yet there was some point between that night and the day you found out about the pregnancy that you spent your nights wondering if you would ever see him again. 

If there had been one thing that you regretted about that night, it would be the decision you made to leave the next morning without asking for his real name or leaving any means of contact. 

A night to escape from reality. 

That was all it meant for you at the time. So when the morning came, it was time for you to return to reality. Your reality. Your real life. And you were too busy preparing yourself to face all the hurt, the bad memories, and the stressful life that had nothing to do with the desirable woman that he brought into his bed the night before to even consider exchanging contacts with him. 

It didn’t matter if you were still riding the high of that night’s self-gratification and wanton pleasure through the rest of your trip. The moment everything ended, you simply moved on from it. Putting everything about that night to the back of your mind as you returned to your normal life and quickly fell back into your normal routine. 

Until weeks later, when life decided to fuck you over and you ended up with a baby growing inside you, and you had no way to find or contact him to inform him about it. 

“I guess it can’t be helped, given the circumstances.” Your conviction quickly melts into dread once you are reminded of the current circumstances. “It’s kinda too late now to talk about it and regret what didn’t happen, don’t you think? Seeing that you’re now dating my stepsister.” 

Taehyung winces. For a brief moment, you almost believe you can see a glimpse of hurt flickering through his gaze. And for some reason, it only pisses you off. 

So he doesn’t like being reminded of the fact that he is here for someone else? 

“Look, about Alia. I was hoping that we could talk. Maybe when all of this is done, or maybe after the holidays we can—” 

He continues talking, but you aren’t hearing anything. The questions that flooded your brain earlier come flashing back. The ringing that pained you returns. Everything lasts for a few more seconds before your mind clears out, and only one question remains. 

“Were the two of you already dating when we slept together?” 

He falls silent, taken aback. 

“No!” he immediately says, almost shouting. But he quickly reins himself before his voice would reach where everyone is and draw their attention. “Fuck, no. Is that why you’ve been sulking all through dinner?” he asks you with a hiss. He seems offended and hurt at the same time. “I’m not that kind of guy. Trust me.” 

“Sulking?” you let out an incredulous laugh. Is that how he saw it? When you were coming close to breaking apart right in front of everyone because of him? 

“How am I supposed to trust you when I barely know you? How am I supposed to know that you’re telling the truth?” you snap back at him with a hiss. “Just because we fucked it doesn’t mean that I’d magically know everything about you.” 

Again, he winces at your question. As if your words come to him like a slap on his face. He takes a deep breath and speaks more calmly in response, “Look, we should talk. Soon. I can explain everything. But not now, okay?” 

As much as you hate to admit it, or to agree with him, you decide that he is right. There are a lot of things that you need to discuss with him, and now is not the right time to do it. Not when your emotions are all over the place and when he has his girlfriend keeping him in close sight most of the time. 

“I agree. We do need to talk,” you finally agree, even though you know that both of you have different things in mind. 

You have no idea what he intends to discuss with you. The only thing that matters to you is to talk about the baby that you conceived together. And hopefully, decide what will happen next. 

“I should go,” you sigh, feeling exhausted and drained. “I need to lie down. This is too much for me to process.” 

You try to walk around him so you can continue on your way. Your head is pounding, and you have the dire need to rest in your comfortable bed, where you would be able to feel safe and hide away from all of this. 

“Wait,” Taehyung stops you before you can go too far. 

“What?” you ask him, feeling exasperated—both from the stress and from the way your body still tingles each time you hear his voice. You really need to get away from him. 

“Nothing, it’s just…” he starts, suddenly looking nervous with what he is about to say. The sound of laughter echoes from the living room, making him glance over his shoulder briefly before speaking to you with a lowered voice, “Can you do me a favour?” 

You frown at him. “What is it?” 

He looks wary, and it makes you feel uneasy in the stomach as you wait for him to speak. 

But what he says next makes you feel even worse. “Please don’t tell Alia that we’ve met before, more importantly that we hooked up that night.” 

You say nothing at first. Even if you are well aware of the situation and where Alia’s position in all of this, it still doesn’t stop the sharp pain you feel in your chest as he mentions her name, or to express his request. 

Taehyung steps closer when you remain quiet. His voice comes as a desperate whisper when he pleads with you, “Please? Can you do this for me?” 

You grit your teeth. “Fine, I won’t,” you finally say to him. But you refuse to give in that easily.

Taking a step closer to him, you point at him and demand him, “But you need to tell her.” 

He clenches his jaw as he listens to your demands, but you ignore it and continue to talk. “She needs to know—” your voice nearly wavers, because you know what would happen once everything is revealed. 

Telling your stepsister that you had slept with her boyfriend would not only be hard, but it would be ugly. 

But it would be better than keeping it a secret for much longer. Because secrets don’t always remain hidden, no matter how hard you try to keep them in the shadows. And things would even get messier once the baby comes while she is still being kept in the dark. 

It’s better to bite the bullet as soon as possible, rather than waiting and living your life in uncertainty until the day comes. 

“If you don’t, and we keep this a secret much longer, things might get messier if she somehow finds out on her own. The last thing I’d ever want is to get into any drama. Not with her,” you try to convince Taehyung, despite him looking like he would rather bolt and have nothing to do with any of this. 

After all the drama that happened last year, the last thing you need is to get involved in another. 

“I’ll tell her myself if necessary.” There is a bite in your voice when you are telling him all of this. To his credit, Taehyung—despite looking shell-shocked and cornered—seems to respect and understand your request. 

He lowers his head and nods. “Give me time. I’ll—” 

You are surprised to see him looking defeated. It makes you wonder if there is something more about their relationship that you need to know before going further. 

As Taehyung raises his head again, he seems more resolved. He looks straight into your eyes as he promises, “I’ll tell her myself once I get the chance to. I promise. But we’re going to have that talk first, and soon.” 

“It’s a promise.” You bite back the ache that suddenly pierces through your heart, seeing how he is so adamant about protecting his relationship with your stepsister. Trying not to look too deep into it and get yourself hurt further, you avoid looking into his gaze and start walking away from him. 

“Goodnight then—” you whisper to him as you turn away from him, biting back the sound of your defeat when you call his name, “Tae.” 

The moment you are within the safety of your bedroom, your knees buckle. Thankfully, you still manage to close the door and lock it behind you, once again shutting yourself from everyone to give you some moment of peace.

Although it doesn’t stop him from entering your mind in the silence that follows. 

As you lie down in your bed, curled up in a fetal position with your arms wrapped around yourself, your mind wanders back to the conversation you just had with Taehyung in the hallway. 

You can’t help it. His words keep coming back to you, and you keep finding yourself dissecting everything he said. You close your eyes, and keep telling yourself to stop. The situation that you are dealing with right now already seems absurd enough for you to waste your energy trying to understand him. 

You begin to wonder if things would have been better if you hadn’t come across each other again. Things would probably turn out differently. You may have to keep the baby’s existence a secret from him, and the truth about the father a secret from your family. 

You may have to deal with everything yourself. 

The possibility seems petrifying, but it still sounds a lot better than having to go against your stepsister. Better than causing your frail relationship to become even worse. This time, you know that this would be big enough to ruin any chance for you and your stepsister to have any kind of relationship at all. 

He was right. It’s funny how life works. If only it doesn’t have to be this hard to laugh it off. 

Stop it. 

Keeping your eyes closed, you let out a deep sigh and force yourself to think about something else. Anything. As long as you are not thinking about him. His face, his voice, the scent of his cologne, everything that belongs to him. 

Your head starts swimming. No, everything about him now belongs to someone else. 

Once again, you force yourself to start thinking of less stressful things. Like Skye’s text message from this afternoon suggesting that you could run away with her to a secluded place somewhere in Europe so that the two of you could raise the baby together. Or the little stories that Honey shared about the cute new gardener now working at her apartment complex—the complex specifically built for elders like herself—that she wanted to introduce to you the next time you come by to visit.

You regret forgetting to pick up the smoothie that your mother made for you while you were throwing up in the bathroom, all due to Taehyung’s distraction. You wonder if having the smoothie would be able to help you feel better. Picturing the drink being left attended in the kitchen, you can picture your grandmother—the sweet little mischievous angel that she is—sneaking in a few drops of rum into the smoothie when your mother isn’t looking. 

This thought makes you smile. It replaces every ugly thoughts that keep circling inside your mind and calms you down. 

Your heartbeat is no longer beating like crazy. The more you fill your head with wonderful thoughts, the sooner the uneasy feeling in your stomach begins to wane. 

And soon enough, you start drifting away to a restless sleep. 

But just like how he invaded your home with his sudden appearance, Taehyung invades your sleep once your mind is left unguarded. 

Speaking to him, albeit briefly, brings you back to that night. The moment you close your eyes, you start seeing everything from back then that you couldn’t remember in your waking hours. Even the smallest details that your conscious mind has forgotten. Everything comes crashing down on you as you toss and turn in your bed, unable to give in completely to a peaceful slumber as memories continue to flood your dreams. 

Six weeks ago…

You opened your eyes and squinted. 

The overhead lamp above your head was bright, and it was hurting your eyes. You could barely see a thing through your bleary eyes, until your gaze drifted further, looking into the dimly lit bedroom far across the foyer. 

The room looked more spacious than yours, albeit a bit messy. The massive bed looked comfortable, and there were two lounge seats set up near the windows that looked more luxurious than the ones you had in your room. 

“Your bedroom seems a lot more cozy than mine.” 

The words came out of your lips with a moan. The sound seemed foreign. Barely recognisable through your hazy mind. But there was a familiar sensation slowly rising in your body that hadn’t at all come from the alcoholic drinks you were having tonight. 

“Hmmm…You think so?”

A deep, sultry voice spoke as a pair of hot lips made their way down the side of your neck, tracing your skin with delicate kisses that made it even harder for you to think straight. 

Shivers ran down your body. Heat rolled through your chest. And it almost seemed to you that your skin was becoming even more sensitive to the touch when even the most subtle caress of his fingers was able to light up your senses. 

Right after the voice spoke to you, he suddenly switched and started kissing his way up. You blinked, and his face came into view just as he looked down at you. The beautiful face that captivated you when you first met him at the bar was presented right before your eyes. 

So close. So tempting. And his eyes were so intense that you nearly lost your breath. He smiled and leaned down, capturing your lips with a kiss. 

“You haven’t seen anything yet,” he murmured against your lips, drawing another moan out of you which snapped you from your daze. 

You sighed as you gave in to the chaste kiss he was giving you. “It’s kind of hard to look around and see anything when you have me pinned to the door.” 

He let out a soft chuckle and once again pressed his lips on yours. As if he was both pleased and amused that he got to put you in this position. When he pulled back, the look in his eyes softened. 

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself. It’s all your fault for teasing me all the way here while I couldn’t allow myself to touch you with so many eyes paying attention,” he said without any hint of regret in his voice. 

“Well, forgive me because I wasn’t aware,” you taunted him back, knowing fully well what you had done to tease him until he was on the verge of breaking apart even before you reached his hotel suite. 

As much as you wanted to hold back, you were quite sure that you hadn’t gotten things wrong. You couldn’t have possibly mistaken the chemistry that kept sparking between you. And the way he kept openly staring at your body was enough to make his intention clear, as his eyes seemed more honest than the words he gave you. 

But back at the bar, you had let him be the first one to make the move. 

With his sturdy hands, he was the one who pulled your seat closer. By placing his arm on your backrest, it may have seemed as if he was marking his territory for anyone else at the hotel bar to see. Normally, something like this would’ve put you off. But there was something in the way he did it that made you feel otherwise, allowing you to give in and lean more into his warmth instead of pushing him away. 

That was when you reciprocated his actions with your own. The light and subtle touches of your fingers on his arm drew soft shudders through his body. The accidental brushes that happened when you moved against his body pushed him into wrapping his arm around you, keeping you close before he finally pulled you out of the bar. 

When you leaned close enough to whisper softly against his ear, you could feel goosebumps rising on his skin, his heartbeat escalating under your palm, and he could barely hold himself back from devouring your lips right there at the hotel lobby. Right where everyone could see you falling into pieces under your sinful desire.

By the time you were alone with him in the elevator, the tension between you just kept escalating until he finally snapped. 

He nearly dragged you across the hallway leading to his bedroom suite in his rush to get you alone. The moment he pulled you in through the door, every bit of his composure simply left him. He barely gave you a chance to catch a single glance of the suite, as he immediately pushed your body against the door and kept you there. 

Until this moment. 

His eyes grew dark after listening to your answer. His breath is still ragged after the hot kiss that he gave you once he got you pinned between his hard body and the locked door behind you. 

With his broad chest locking you in place, his hips pressing against your lower body, he left you with nowhere else to go. But this didn’t seem to be enough for him. Looking into his eyes, you could tell that he needed to see you become even more vulnerable. Almost as if he wanted to punish you for putting him on the edge. 

And he did exactly that as he slipped one hand around your neck and pulled your hair, tilting your head back so that he could continue exploring the column of your throat with his sinful lips. Instead of resisting it, you simply gave in. Arching your back to him further as he trailed kisses on your skin, your hands clutching on his jacket to hold on. 

He used his other hand to explore the rest of your body. Starting from your waist, he continued to move further down to your hips. Tracing every curve, every dent along your body with his firm fingers pressing through your thin dress. 

Just as he was about to reach the hem of your dress, he suddenly stopped and pulled back. 

“Tell me again. Are you sure this is what you want?” His voice was quiet when he asked you this. It sounded as though he was caught between convincing himself that this was happening while giving you an out for one last time before getting too deep. 

But you had gone deep. 

And you knew then that the moment you let everything happen, there was no going back from it. Everything about this was new to you; hooking up with a complete stranger while you were in the middle of nowhere, and knowing that once the night was over, both of you were going to move on with your lives. 

It felt thrilling to think about it, and the liquid courage should help you in letting go of your inhibitions. Yet you couldn’t deny the fact that you are feeling slightly nervous about jumping fully into this. 

When you failed to answer him, Tae leaned down, pressing a chaste kiss right below your ear and whispered, “Well? Talk to me. Because there is no going back from this once we begin, and I won’t let you go until you tell me what you want.” 

The way his breath tickled your ear and caressed your skin broke you out of the walls you put up. Every flicker of doubt you felt immediately melted. You brushed against him, allowing him to feel every bit of heat coursing through your body before you answered with a whisper, “Yes. I’ve never been so sure in my whole life.” 

You could feel the way his breath was caught as you pressed your palm on his chest. Pressing against him, you raised yourself up and nipped his chin with your teeth. 

“This is what I want.” 

You weren’t completely sure if you ever got to finish your sentence when all of a sudden, his lips came crashing into yours, pressing firmly as he kissed you, barely concealing his desire for more. 

The kiss unleashed your own desire. You opened your mouth for him in return, allowing him to devour you, to have a taste of your demands as he thoroughly kissed you until you were left breathless in his arms. 

His hand began to move again just then. Tracing down your hips, he pressed the tips of his fingers harder into your flesh. He made it seem as if your dress had melted into your skin with the heat of his touch that you felt completely exposed to him. And he didn’t stop until he finally found the exposed skin of your thigh. 

Your body quivered upon contact, and you could tell that he felt it too. He began stroking your skin, moving at a slow, agonising pace just to put you on the edge. 

And he easily succeeded. Already, you could barely breathe, even when he was still far from touching any part of your body that needed him the most. 

Overcame with need, your body started moving on instinct. As if his touches were controlling you as you lifted your thigh for him. His grip on your thigh tightened, helping you to keep your leg up and open yourself to him while his kiss became sloppy yet gentle as he released his hold on your hair. 

He moved his other hand down, brushing against your covered breast with a brief contact and continued trailing down. You felt him pressing at your hips, before pulling the hem of your dress upward until your lower region was completely exposed. His hand continued its travel as it climbed up your inner thigh. So you opened your legs to give him better access. A move which he appreciated with a deep hum, before you felt his thumb brushing up just an inch away from your throbbing core. 

“Should we move this someplace else? Somewhere that would be more comfortable for us?” he asked you with his lips hovering close to yours. 

It took a moment for his words to sink in. Too lost in the sensation that you were made to feel, you felt as if you were drunk and high, not from the alcohol that was no longer running wildly through your veins, but from his entire presence alone. 

All thoughts faded further as his thumb grazed across the front of your panties, finding your folds through the fabric before he pressed down, enough to give pressure on your covered clit. Sparks flew through your half-lidded eyes as pleasure came rushing through you in waves. You couldn’t stop the moan slipping out of your lips, nor the way your hips rocked into his touch to feel more. 

“So responsive,” he murmured against your neck before he planted a light kiss on your skin. “I would have loved to watch and enjoy every reaction that you would give me, every sound you make, while I have you lie down on my bed and fuck you senseless.” 

Your breath hitched and caught in your chest. Not only because of his words, but also from the way his thumb continued to rub against your covered clit. It felt sinful, yet so delectable the way he kept drawing more and more sparks and shuddering pleasure through your body.

After being deprived of such attention for quite some time, your body became more sensitive to every friction, every treatment he was giving you, and you simply wanted more. 

“Then take me there. Take me to your bed.” 

As if you had flicked a switch in his brain, his expression changed. His gaze darkened as he captured your lips with unrestrained need, yet he was careful when he picked you up, pressing you against his chest when he turned and moved to take you away from the door.

You wrapped your arms and legs around him for balance, while your lips remained locked in a deep kiss. You could feel his long stride as he began carrying you across the room. His kiss and his firm hold on your bottom cheeks were enough to draw your attention away from his clumsy footsteps, but not enough to deny you from sensing the changes happening around you.

The scent of his cologne grew thicker as he went deeper into the room, and you were getting more and more lost in him. Drowned in his heat, his kiss, and the traces that he had left behind all over his bedroom, you felt him everywhere all at once that you felt like you were being put under a spell. 

All so suddenly, you were pulled out of it when he broke away from the kiss. He laid you gently over the cold white sheets of his partly-made bed. Instead of joining you right away, he chose to pull back. His eyes seemed to glint in the dimly lit room as he took this moment to take you in. 

“Beautiful,” he murmured softly, drawing heat back to your face. 

He kept his eyes on you as he shrugged off his jacket and began peeling his shirt from his chest. Desire pulsed through your body as you watched every move he was making without ever drawing his attention away from you. 

The more you watched him, the stronger the pull that you felt towards him. Once the need to touch him took over, you reached up and tugged on his pants, hoping that you could quickly shred them off of his body. 

You barely grazed against his covered hard-on when he stopped you by catching your wrists. Like a disappointed teacher, he made a disapproval sound with his tongue. 

“Patience, Red,” he teasingly said to you as he grabbed the hem of your dress and pulled it off of you with one swift move. You fell back to the bed with a gasp, shocked to see how easy it was for him to take over until you were left with nothing more but your lacy underthings. 

The intensity you felt from his gaze made you want to wrap your arms around yourself and hide. But being half inebriated was making you slow in thoughts and movement that you couldn’t do anything but lay still. At the same time, you enjoyed the way he was looking at you, loving how he was losing himself to you the same way you did to him. 

But it was the words that he said next that further brought out your wanton needs.

“Be a good girl and stay still. I want you to stay just like this,” he said with a murmur while his eyes ran down your body, “I want you to lie on your back while you are screaming out my name.” 

If only you hadn’t been so lost for words, perhaps you would have challenged him in return. Instead, by the time every piece of his clothing was gone, you felt like you had melted further into the sheets. The raw passion you saw in his gaze and the way he was tracing his fingertips on your skin had locked you completely in place, leaving you with no other option but to surrender as he took control.

He bent down, his lips came down to your neck. Planting his kisses on your skin, he kept your attention away from his hands as he snapped off your bra and went down to pull your panties down your hips. As he dragged your panties down your bare legs, he continued his kisses further down, not stopping until he reached your heaving chest. 

You couldn’t even remember what happened to that flimsy piece of fabric that he took from you. Everything else faded as his tongue grazed across your chest, drawing a gasp out of your lips. His firm hands returned to your hips right then, holding you down while he captured your taut nipple between his teeth. 

The feeling that coursed through you was heavenly. A shooting pain came with a flare as he bit down, yet it was quickly replaced with an overwhelming feeling of pleasure when he lapped the pain away with his sinful tongue. 

“Tae—”

His body quivered against yours at the sound of your voice. He pulled away with a grin, his eyes twinkling with amusement as he watched you arching your chest as if you were chasing him. 

He ran his gaze down your body. Perusing you while silently admiring what he was seeing while he licked his lips. As if he was picturing the way you would taste. 

“Tell me how badly you want this, Red,” he taunted you with his hand reaching out to the nightstand. You vaguely saw him grabbing a condom while you were struggling to breathe. Your eyes fell on his exposed, throbbing cock, and words simply left you. 

Seeing its impressive size and girth, your entire body erupted with a pulse. It started from deep inside your core, right where you wanted to feel him the most. Astonished, you failed to remember that he was still waiting for your answer with his eyes locked on your face. 

And he made you struggle further to find words when he reached down, wrapping his long fingers around his cock and started giving himself slow, lazy strokes. You could see the bead of his pre-cum glistening under the dim lighting. It took everything in you to stop yourself from leaning forward and lapping him dry. To have a taste, before you let him devour every drop of your essence. 

“Red? Talk to me,” he spoke to you again with a curious tone in his voice. 

He knew that he wasn’t getting any attention, as your eyes were locked only at one place that was not his face, and he seemed to be curious to know what was making you so lost in thoughts. 

Instead of answering him, you continued to watch, completely transfixed by his actions, as he slowly spread his pre-cum along the length of his cock. You licked your lips, almost as if you could taste him. A barely concealed whimper slipped out of your lips when you watched him slowly roll the condom to cover himself from the tip of his cock and down to the base. 

Seeing him covered with protection seemed to snap you back to the present. Even if your pulsing need still refused to tame down. 

Resting back against the pillows, you dragged your eyes away from his impressive cock to his beautiful face. 

“I want you here. Inside me,” you finally responded to his question. Placing your palms on the underside of your thighs, you parted your legs open, making him see the mess that had been building up right between your legs while you were enjoying the show he was giving you. 

Now it was your turn to give him a show. 

Reaching between your legs, you moved your fingers to find your folds. You bit back a gasp once the tips of your fingers were met with your wet arousal. It felt slick as you moved your fingers around, parting your nether lips so he could see your swollen clit, before you moved your fingers in circles, pressing at yourself the exact same way you wished he would. 

“Please, fuck me, Tae. Fuck me good.” 

His pupils dilated at the sound of your voice, at the pleading words you were giving him. You loved the way he was reacting to you just as much as he did with you, yet you decided to push his buttons further by adding, “And then I want to hear you scream my name while you cum inside me.” 

He raised his eyebrows. “What a little brat,” he said, chuckling. “So you like to play games, hmmm?” 

You bit your bottom lip, holding back a moan that was threatening to come out when your touch inadvertently pushed against the source of your heat. “Oh, I do. Games are always fun.” 

While he continued stroking his cock at a lazy pace, he used the other hand to grab your neck. His palm fit perfectly as he wrapped it around the column of your throat, putting pressure that was not enough to choke you, yet enough to show you who was in control. 

“Then let’s play,” he groaned while he pressed you back down on the bed. “But this time, I make the rules.” 

You felt the electrifying pleasure surging through your body as he brushed your hand away and lined himself against your entrance, shutting down the circuits inside your brain for a moment and stopping you from wiggling too much beneath him just to feel more friction. 

A sharp moan was drawn from your lips as Tae slammed his full length deep inside you. The sensation that you felt from being filled by his width was so feral and explosive that you were sure you immediately experienced your orgasm right then and there. 

Your body must have been shaking, which was a response that you failed to notice as you had your senses filled with the steady pulse of pleasure pressing across the girth of his cock. He must have noticed it when he came to a halt, giving you a chance to process everything and adjust to his presence inside you.

Nothing made sense to you beyond the pulsing pleasure that you felt from your hot pussy. Your senses were filled with the sound of your racing heartbeat, the soothing touch of his fingers on your skin, and the whispers of his voice calling you back to him. 

He only managed to bring you back to the present by pressing gentle kisses on your lips, nose, and then on the rest of your face, stopping only after he kissed your lips again to draw your attention back to him. 

Your legs were quivering when you opened your eyes to see him, yet you could already tell from the way the pulses that came right where you were joined started to settle, that your body had adjusted perfectly to his size. 

But it didn’t mean that you would simply take it without sharing your thoughts. 

“You’re—big,” you complained with a soft moan when you felt him growing harder inside you. It didn’t stop you from rocking your hips, trying to feel more friction, while he merely chuckled at your words. 

“And it’s perfect for your tight pussy.” 

His words drew a gasp from you. But he didn’t pay much attention to it, as he slowly began to move. He started with a slow pace, which was torturous and agonising, forcing you to feel the delectable way his girth was brushing against your pulsing walls. 

Back and forth he went, going so deep you could almost feel him pressing up your stomach before pulling out until only the tip was buried inside you. He kept moving at the same pace, until you began to feel more desperate. Even your body was shaking with the need to feel more. 

“More—!” you whispered with a strangled moan, “go faster.” 

Hearing this, instead of doing what you were begging him to, Tae denied your plea by doing the opposite. With a wicked grin on his face, the fucker slowed down, bringing the pleasure that had been rising back down a notch. 

You opened your mouth to protest against it, and he moved his hands down your hips, stopping at your thighs where he gave you a tight grip. 

“You want more?” he asked you, his voice almost seemed to grow deeper, and you could feel a tinge of danger when he spoke. The same danger you saw coming through his gaze as he slowly brought your legs up. 

You expected him to stop once he got your legs up his shoulders. But he just kept going. And going. Until you were nearly folded with your legs almost pressed to your chest.

“Tae—!” 

It made you feel vulnerable, with nothing but your hands to use to hold on while he had full control of your body. He was still buried inside you, and this position allowed you to feel him more. As though you had grown tighter around him and he was growing bigger. His entire length and width made you feel full, as his cock was pressing tightly against your hot walls. 

“You wanted more,” he murmured as he began moving, rocking his hips slowly back and forth, going in and out of you, drawing more and more of that shuddering pleasure out of your body as he continued fucking you gently. “I’m giving you more.” 

He began increasing his pace. Going faster the more he heard you moaning in pleasure. “Lift your arms, Red. Bring them up and hold the pillows.” 

It took a moment for his words to register in your head. Your hands had been clutching tightly on his forearms and it was a struggle to let go. And he waited, tormenting you by keeping his pace much too slow to your liking until you followed his command. 

Your hands trembled as you unlatched them from his skin. You could barely feel your fingers as you dragged your hands up, as every part of your body grew more sensitive the more you opened your entire self to him. Keeping your eyes on him, you got lost in his intense gaze. 

It was then when you finally came in contact with the soft pillows above your head, and your fingers easily sank into them, latching onto them as you did when you were holding onto his arms.

“That’s it. Good girl,” he murmured gently, and you were pleasantly surprised to realise how much you loved hearing his praise. Warmth bloomed in your chest, and it easily made its way down right to your core. “Now hold on tightly and don’t let go.” 

And you did just that. Holding on tightly the way he wanted you to. 

Only once he gained complete control of your body, once you fully submitted to him, he finally fulfilled your wish. He held firmly on your thighs to keep them folded and open for him, and he began ramming his cock deep inside you. 

He was doing it faster. Harder. Sending you high in pleasure while all you could do was take his constant pounding. The only leverage you had to hold on was the tight hold you had on the pillows and the weight of his body that was pressing you down each time he pushed deeply inside you. 

The anomalous sounds coming out of both of your lips kept bouncing off the walls. Followed by the sound of flesh clashing against flesh, the slick sounds that came from right where you were joined, and the creaking sound of the bed beneath you. 

He kept going, relentless in his rough thrusts and his need to push you over the edge, until you could feel the rise of your orgasm coming in waves. The wanton pleasure that was hot and intense came rising inside you, growing rapidly with his deep thrusts until you finally succumbed to it, coming into your climax with a scream. 

“Tae, I’m coming,” you cried out to him as you fell over the edge, though you weren’t completely sure if the words coming out of your lips were as coherent as you thought they would have been. 

The sound of your pounding heartbeat seemed to drown everything away. Except that you could still hear the sound of his breathless grunts as they grew clearer, and the strangled moan that came out of him when he shouted, “That’s it, Red. Fuck, I’m coming!”

With a sharp intake of breath, he came to his climax. You felt every pulse of his release as he came inside you, and the tremble in his chest that surged through him with his deep groan as he relished the pleasure. Even after his release, he kept moving, rocking slowly and steadily until the spasms of your orgasm slowly began to wane down. 

He remained buried inside you when he gently released you from his hold. You could barely feel his lips pressing on your quivering thighs before he lowered them back on the mattress, yet his gentle fingers remained hot on your skin when he brushed up against you. 

He reached up and gently pried your fingers away from the pillows before slipping his fingers between yours. The way your fingers were entwined together felt so intimate. So unlike anything that you had ever thought about what a one-night stand would entail. 

Your body felt hot, and your muscles were lax, but there was a series of small spasms still going strong from deep inside you, coaxed by his incessant rocking. You should have been pushing him off of you, instead of embracing his weight as he lowered himself, covering your body with his own. 

“Tae—” you whimpered against his lips as he kissed you. Holding your hands in his, he continued to rock his hips. 

How he managed to remain so hard and stiff even after his climax was beyond you. He still felt thick as he moved. His cock brushed against your pulsing walls as he went in and out, awakening all sparks of pleasure that were supposed to have dwindled. 

And with how sensitive your body was, it rose and peaked so quickly and you had no power to stop it. 

“Too…much…” you cried between the strangled moans coming out of your lips, right before he swallowed them with another kiss. 

“One more,” he groaned as he picked up his pace. “Just do it one more time for me, Red.” 

You were so sensitive it was beginning to hurt, but the pleasure was also maddening that you didn’t want to stop. This time, he wasn’t holding you down so strongly, allowing you to move beneath him. So you rocked back against him, pushing up each time he was thrusting into you. It only took a couple of more strokes before the coil in your core snapped, and you were sent to another climax. 

And he joined you in your release, falling into a smaller climax of his own as you clenched tightly around him. 

He came with a deep groan. His whole body quaked against you before he finally fell on top of you. While you were trying to control your breath, his lips came brushing your neck, kissing you gently to help soothe down the shudders running through your body.

“Fuck…so perfect,” he sighed between his kisses, his voice came in and out through your senses, and the sparks you felt rushing through your body started waning as you were slowly drifting away into the night, with his words echoing in your dreams,

“You are perfect.” 

Author’s Note 2.0 | Thank you for reading so far. Any likes, kudos, comments, and feedbacks will be appreciated. The story continues in part 2.

© All rights reserved. 2024 Yoonia — Unauthorized use and/or duplication of these works, including reposting, translating and modification in any form, is strictly prohibited. 

[sketchguk]

in my head; kth

➵ pairing: fwb!taehyung x reader

➵ genre: pwp (porn with plot), angst, college au

➵ word count: 8k

➵ synopsis: taehyung’s friends love you ー adore you. they probably want to fuck you, but they’ll never admit to it. instead, they’ll push taehyung’s limits in the middle of a frat party, testing just how close they can get to you before he takes you to bed in a fit of jealousy. and maybe, just maybe, one of his friends can have a taste too (if he’s lucky).  

inspired by thuy's in my head

warnings under the cut!

➵ warnings: unrequited love, commitment issues, dacryphilia, degradation (use of the word slut, whore, and pervert), fingering, oral (f receiving), spit kink, overstimulation, use of the color system, breast play, hand job, unprotected (jealous/possessive) sex, marking, impact play (slapping - face & pussy, spanking), breeding kink, choking, mirror sex, voyeurism, exhibitionism, manhandling, mentions of intoxication (mc & taehyung are sober!), use of the word daddy, mentions of religion, ass play, mentions of dp, creampie

You can’t help but think that this is a terrible idea. The heavy bass and the sound of rap lyrics vibrate through the walls of the old Victorian house. Unfamiliar voices are muffled beneath the syncopated beats, and you can’t make out a single word. 

You’ve managed to escape the sticky, beer-stained floors and the heat of the frat party downstairs. Instead, you’ve sought refuge in one of the bedrooms, hand-in-hand with none other than Kim Taehyung himself. 

The space around you is dark, save for the dim lamp behind you. You’re propped on top of his tiny desk, careful not to knock over the expensive camera that rests beside you. 

“I thought you were gonna show me your new photos.” You pull apart from Taehyung’s lips, meeting his gaze between pretty eyelashes. 

Your words slur, finding it difficult to talk with his tongue in your mouth. A string of spit connects your lips together. It threatens to break loose the further you recline. 

With hooded eyes, he leans forward, chasing after your kiss. “What’s the rush?” 

His lips brush against the corner of your mouth as his hand wanders down to the hem of your dress, bunching it over your waist. The straps have already fallen loose from your shoulders, the top of your breasts spill out from over the fabric. 

Taehyung grips your jaw, squeezing your cheeks between his fingers. His nose nudges against the column of your neck. A sigh falls from his lips as he lingers over your pulse point, his breath hot against your skin, teeth grazing. 

He glides a finger over the taut fabric of your panties. It’s soaked from your arousal, wet and sticky between your thighs. 

“Look at the mess you’ve made,” he taunts with a crooked smile. “I’ve barely even touched you.” 

Although that may be true, you’ve been kissing for what feels like over an hour. 

In an effort to pull him closer, you wrap your legs around his waist. The outline of his erection leaves an imprint against the fabric of his sweats. It rests against your core, hot and heavy. You shift in your seat, desperately wanting him to pull your underwear to the side so he could stuff you full.  

“Who got you this worked up, hm?” Taehyung dips his head down to kiss your shoulder. 

His fingers squeeze your cheeks once again, and he angles your face to look him in the eyes, domineering. The hum of his low voice sends a shiver down your spine. His gaze is dark and hazy with lust and desire. 

There’s a soft glow of light that surrounds you, almost like a halo. Taehyung thinks that you look the prettiest at times like this ー when you’re pressed beneath his weight, right in the palm of his hands. 

You meet his eyes before shifting focus to his swollen lips. He quirks his brow, and you melt in his touch. Perhaps you’ve been staring at him for a moment too long because you can feel your saliva pool out of your mouth, dribbling down your chin. 

Taehyung’s thumb swipes across your bottom lip, collecting your drool. “What’s wrong, love?” He tsks, tapping the side of your cheek. “You always have so much to say, but now what? Don’t tell me you’ve gone this stupid for cock.” 

A fervent whine escapes from your parted lips. Your eyes brim with tears as your cunt pulses with desperate need, aching to feel Taehyung inside of you, even if it’s just the tip. 

Taehyung throbs at the sight of your soaked eyelashes, but he pays no mind to your pleas as he sinks down to his knees. 

“Let’s try again.” He spreads your legs further apart, trailing kisses against the inside of your thigh. “Who made you this wet?” His lips hover over your panty clad cunt before mouthing against the fabric. 

“Taehyung, don’t tease,” you shake your head, babbling. “You’re the only one I want, you know that.” 

He pushes the cotton aside, revealing your sweet pussy to his wandering eyes. 

“I’m the only one?” In a deep voice, he hums against your folds. “Are you sure it’s not Namjoon?” 

You shake your head in denial. “Just you,” you say in a hushed tone. 

His fingers spread your lips apart, watching you clench around nothing. Taehyung lingers above you before releasing a glob of spit onto your core. It glides between your slit, dripping down your entrance. 

You spread your legs wider, making room for his broad shoulders. His gentle, teasing fingers trace across your sensitive lips before dipping them between your velvety walls. 

“You seemed to be really cozy with Joonie though,” Taehyung pumps two fingers inside of you, easily gliding between your soaked cunt. “You were acting like such a needy slut downstairs, I swear that you wanted to fuck my friends.” 

His jaw clenches. You can sense a hint of jealousy in his tone. You find that to be odd considering Taehyung is never jealous. 

He’s not even yours. 

Taehyung has always been difficult to read. More often than not, in the lonely hours of the night, you’re within an arm's reach, prepared to keep him company, dropping everything at his beck and call. 

After tangling between the sheets at the end of every night, he’d comb his fingers through your freshly-washed hair, careful not to linger too long on the hickeys that scatter across your collarbone. 

Meanwhile, you’d trace hearts onto his back, wondering what he thinks about when he looks at you ー whether or not your name sits inside of his head in that current moment, if ever at all. 

Time and time again, he reminds you that this is just casual. The two of you are supposed to let loose and have fun. 

Yet he holds your hand so gently when you cross the street, when you slow dance in the quiet of the night, and when he fucks you deeply and ardently into the mattress. After, he’d order Chinese delivery to your house, stuffing siu mai in your cheeks so that you would shut up and stop talking nonsense about paying him back. 

He even kisses your forehead and calls you his good girl after leaving love bites on your neck.

It would be impossible not to fall for someone like Kim Taehyung as kind, sweet, and humble as he is. 

If you ask him to be your boyfriend, would he laugh? Would he furrow his brows and wonder why? Would he utter a vague response? Something along the lines of “I don’t know.” He often deploys these words when he’s faced with questions he doesn’t want to think about. 

In your mind, the worst case scenario occurs when Taehyung breaks it off right then and there, asking you to leave. Meanwhile, you linger by the door, begging him to love you just once, and maybe twice ー Through the ups, downs, and in betweens. 

It never happens. You never ask. You never bring it up. You just go through the motions, settling for the warmth of Taehyung’s body, even if it’s a temporary fix. 

Lost in your own thoughts, you bite back a whimper. Your hand shoots up to cover your mouth. Taehyung grabs your wrist, placing it at the edge of his desk. 

“You weren’t this shy when you were whispering in Jimin’s ear ー when his hand was on your thigh, and when you were acting like a huge, desperate cock tease.” 

The possessive part of Taehyung’s brain takes root when he guides his hand between your legs, slapping your clit. Shuddering under his touch, you release a silent scream. 

Taehyung plunges another finger inside of you, stretching you apart with a steady pace. It feels like too much, yet not enough at the same time. Your head is spinning, body sensitive from the heat of his skin against yours. 

“I want to hear you cry for me.” His brows furrow. A look of faux sympathy crosses his angelic features. “Unless you don’t want my friends to hear you being such a whore.” He speaks so casually, as if he didn’t just drop another glob of spit onto your mound. “I’m sure you wouldn’t mind if Namjoon was here though ー watching you.” 

You shake your head, panting for air, trying to catch your breath as he curls his fingers inside of you. 

“Really? Then how about Jimin?” He taunts you so cruelly.

Your tongue darts out of your mouth, licking your lips before you can bring yourself to speak. It’s too difficult to form words when your mind is numb on pleasure, nothing but a steady hum of static. 

But if there’s one thing that you should know about Taehyung is that he is not a patient man (despite the fact that he’s been edging you for the better part of the last hour). It’s evident when he wraps his hand around your throat, bringing your attention back to his hazy eyes. He needs your answer, and he needs it now. 

“Look at me when I’m talking to you,” he says, demanding, squeezing the column of your neck. 

He’s obsessed with the way your throat constricts beneath the pressure of his grip as you swallow your spit.

“Would you prefer if Jeongguk was here then?” 

His lips curl into a smile as if he’s testing you, but you see right through his sweet facade. Kim Taehyung is nothing if not mean in bed. If you were to be honest, he would find a way to punish you despite the reassurance in his tone. 

After all, Kim Taehyung has never been one to show you mercy. He will spank you, choke you, and fuck you until you’re at the edge of your limit, simply because you let him. Because you love it, and you love when you’re reduced to nothing but a slutty little mess. 

“It’s just you, Tae,” you murmur weakly. “Just want you, not Guk.” Despite the affirmation in your voice, your walls clench around Taehyung’s fingers. 

Guk? Since when did you ever use nicknames with Jeongguk? 

“Love, we both know that’s not true,” he says, slapping your clit once again.

You curse under your breath. 

“‘m sorry, ‘m sorry,” you sob with tears streaming down your face, but you adore every second of it. Taehyung takes a moment to wipe the tears from your eyes before pressing a tender kiss to the apples of your cheeks. 

“I saw the two of you at the door earlier,” Taehyung begins, swiping his tongue across his bottom lip, biting the flesh between his teeth. 

It’s true that Jeongguk invited you to the party. Actually, he asked you long before Taehyung had even brought it up. But no, Jeongguk is not your date and neither is Taehyung.

At the very least, Jeongguk had the decency to acknowledge you and give you an ounce of attention (Taehyung would argue that Jeongguk looks at you like he’s in love with you, yet you remain oblivious, chalking it down to being friends). 

The entire evening, you talked his ear off about your neuroscience research ー the idea of emotional numbness being a symptom of certain psychological disorders. It sounds depressing, but when you manage to break it down, comparing it to Widowmaker’s genetically modified brain chemistry, Jeongguk clung onto your every word. 

Not only are you so adorable, but so fucking brilliant. On top of that… you can unpack the lore of his favorite Overwatch hero for hours on end? You might just be the girl he’s been searching for in all of his dreams. It’s no wonder he looks at you with so much love in his eyes.  

Meanwhile, throughout the whole night, Taehyung was too “busy” to approach you ー only watched from afar. He can’t risk the thought of people finding out about your relationship. Rather, he was swarmed with girls hanging off of his arm, vying for his attention. Yet the only thing he saw was you. 

You finally had a moment alone when he brushed against your arm, asking you to trail him upstairs to “show” you the photos he took on his new camera.

And that is exactly how you found yourself in this predicament. 

“Jeongguk was so sweet to take off your jacket and offer you a drink.” Taehyung circles your clit with calloused fingers as if he has all the time in the world. 

These soft, gentle touches only mark the beginning of your punishment, and you’d be lucky if you could crawl out of bed tomorrow morning. You close your eyes, praying to a higher power that you’ll make it out of here in one piece.

“Have you seen the way he looks at you?” He murmurs against your jaw, pressing a kiss to your chin, barely missing the soft curve of your lips. “I’m pretty sure he thinks about you when he touches himself.” 

To emphasize his point, Taehyung glides his hand down the inner part of your thigh. Goosebumps ripple across your skin as you shiver in his hold. 

“What if Jeongguk was here, watching you beg for my cock, hm?” Taehyung hums. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” 

You whine desperately, saying anything that would please Taehyung despite how easily your body betrays you ー pussy pulsing with need, carnal and insatiable. 

Anyone could tell that Jeongguk has a huge crush on you. It’s in the way that he looks at you with wide, lovestruck eyes. He holds onto every single one of his words as if you’re rewriting the stars. Whenever you share a lame joke that flies over everyone’s head, he’s giggling like it’s the funniest thing in the world. 

Truthfully? Nothing pisses Taehyung off more than that. 

Somehow, even the sound of Jeongguk’s name makes you clench around Taehyung’s fingers. 

“Do you want him to fuck you?” 

The image of Jeongguk making room for himself in your cunt makes you break into tears, sobbing. Or perhaps Jeongguk would be the type to take it slow, you can never be so sure. His pretty face is so deceptive. Maybe he would memorize every inch of your skin and make love in a way you’ve never quite understood. 

“Because I know that Guk wants to.” Taehyung says it as a matter of fact. As if he knows something that you don’t. There’s malice in his tone when he utters the nickname you’ve defaulted to. 

“Would you let the boys watch? Namjoon? Jimin? You know they’re quite fond of you, right? You might give them the impression that they have a chance with you because you’re such an easy slut.” Taehyung spins a dirty fantasy inside of your head while he rubs deft circles onto your clit. Your slick arousal seeps out of your pulsing cunt, soaking his fingers. 

“I bet you’d let Jeongguk fuck you raw too.” 

The innermost part of you thinks about Jeongguk losing his innocent image so that he could stretch you open and flood you with his cum, round after round. How he would plug your needy cunt with his length, forcing you to cockwarm him, locking his cum inside of you until he’s ready to ruin you all over again. 

How would Taehyung feel if he were to watch? You can’t decide if he would love it or hate it, and neither can you. 

Jeon Jeongguk is nothing if not kind, so surely, he could do you one favor, right? 

With the thought of Jeongguk stretching you open, your orgasm washes over you, and you tremble in Taehyung’s arms, consumed by your climax. You cry out, muttering apologies over and over again. Tears cascade down your cheeks, unable to control yourself. 

But perhaps you’re not sorry at all. 

That’s all it takes for Taehyung to latch his mouth onto your clit, sucking harshly on the small bundle of nerves. You buck your hips, wanting him impossibly closer, but his hands squeeze around your waist, pinning you to the table.

His tongue delves between your entrance, lapping the arousal that drips out of you. The taste of your cum is such a sweet reward, but it’s almost offensive how you could come to the thought of fucking another man, a man who is not him, but one of his friends and fraternity brothers. Even if Taehyung was the one to flood your head with thoughts of Jeongguk, he can’t seem to handle the truth. 

Maybe, just maybe, it’s because you could slip through his fingers and leave him at any point in time. How much longer can you deal with this lack of commitment ー no strings attached situationship? 

The gossip among your friends isn’t lost on him. He knows that they don’t like him, always urging you to step away. An ember ignites inside of his chest when he recounts a conversation he once overheard: ‘Jeongguk’s been asking about you. You should give him a chance, don’t you think? What if he’s the one?’ 

As if Taehyung has something to prove, he works you into overdrive, sucking your clit into his mouth as he rolls the small bundle of nerves with his tongue.

You reach down, gripping his hair between your fingers, feeling much too overstimulated after your first orgasm. Taehyung digs his face deeper into your pussy in hopes that he can elicit the sweet whimpers that make his cock leak with beads of precum. 

From beneath his desk, he drags down the band of his sweats, just low enough for him to pull out his dick. His hand wraps around his length, jerking off to the sound of your moans and the way that your pussy weeps for him, squelching into the quiet of the night. 

Taehyung eats you out like he’s starving ー messy and depraved. You’re dripping in arousal, completely soaking his chin with your essence. 

Your legs quiver, closing around Taehyung’s head as you approach your high once again. He circles his arms around your thighs, spreading them wide apart. You’re rendered immobile, forced to take him like the good girl he knows you are. 

He picks up the pace, forcing his tongue deep between your walls. 

Trembling in his hold, you tip over the edge with a sob that rips through your throat. Your cunt pulses as he laps up the cum dripping from your core. 

Your fingernails dig into his scalp, yet Taehyung has no intention of stopping. In fact, the pain drives him to work even faster. He swipes his tongue against your clit, sucking on the bud and working you into overstimulation. He needs to make sure that you don’t ever think about touching another man but him. 

He may not be yours, but you are his without a single doubt.  

Taehyung plunges his fingers back inside of you, massaging the inside of your cunt with delicious friction. It’s on the border of pleasure and pain, yet you welcome it as you ride out your high. 

“Taehyung…” You whimper in a weak voice, “It’s too much…” Once more, you tug on his hair, pulling him apart from your cunt, even as it pulses in his wake. 

But Taehyung can’t help himself, lurching forward, he wedges himself between your thighs. He needs to taste you, just a little more as if this is the last time he’ll ever have you. He kisses your clit, repeatedly, one smooch after another ー completely pussy drunk. He knows that you can take it. 

You slump against his desk, legs weak. But there’s nothing you can do. What Taehyung wants, Taehyung gets. And all he wants is to mark you, claim you, and breed you until you’re filled with his cum for days on end. 

Taehyung wipes his chin with the back of his hand, and it just might be the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. He picks you up from beneath your thighs, and you wrap your arms around his neck. 

You’re no stranger to the bounce of his bed as he lays you on top of his covers. You’ve been there a dozen times before, having memorized the feeling of the cool, linen fabric against your exposed skin. 

Taehyung tugs on the neckline of your dress, revealing your breasts to his hungry eyes. He suckles on one of your pert nipples while twisting the other between his thumb and forefinger. 

Meanwhile, you reach forward, palming his erection through his sweatpants. He grinds against your hand as he hums into your chest. Murmurs of “mine, mine, mine.” 

His hand reaches down to circle your wrist before shoving them down his pants. He dips your hand beneath the fabric, guiding your hand to fist his cock, pumping his length without the burden of cotton in between. 

It’s heavy in your hands, long and thick. You can barely wrap your fingers around the circumference of it all. 

Taehyung shifts focus onto your neck, sucking love bites into your delicate skin. To fuel his ego, he needs the rest of the world to know that you belong to him. That nobody can fuck you better than him. Not Namjoon, not Jimin, and definitely not Jeongguk. 

“Tae, I need you.” The words are slurred coming out of your mouth. You’re delirious, yet you haven’t even had a taste of him. 

“You think you deserve my cock?” He tilts his head to the side, arching his brow. His question is rhetorical, yet you can’t help but nod with desperation.

It’s condescending and downright degrading, but you grow wetter upon tasting his arrogance. You should feel pathetic for wanting his warmth and his comfort, yet in this very moment, he is the only thing that you crave. 

Taehyung tugs his shirt over his head and drags his sweatpants down to his thighs. He slides his bare cock between your folds. It’s puffy and much too sensitive, but you love the feeling of his weight on you. 

He taps your clit with the head of his cock once, twice, three-four times. 

“Who does this pretty cunt belong to?” He doesn’t shift his gaze, even when your eyes roll back, consumed with blinding pleasure. 

“It’s yours, Taehyung,” you whimper, melting into the sheets. “I’m all yours.”

“Good girl, that’s what I like to hear,” he says before tapping your bottom lip. 

Instinctually, you open your mouth, and he drops a glob of spit straight down your throat. 

Before you can even swallow, Taehyung is lining up his cock with your entrance until he bottoms out, leaving you with little to no time to adjust to his girth.

“My pussy’s all yours.” You manage to mutter a string of words, breathless, half coherent as he stretches you wide open. 

“Mine?” Taehyung quirks his brow. His jaw clenches. “Then how about I fuck a baby inside of you, huh?” 

If you had any semblance of sanity, your rationality would have spoken against it. But when Taehyung looks at you with such desperate eyes, almost animalistic, you can’t help but to wrap your legs around his waist, forcing his cock deeper into your fertile cunt, begging him to breed you. 

The squelch of your heat fills the otherwise quiet room. It’s verging on pornographic ー the sound of skin slapping on skin. When he nestles his hips against yours like two pieces of a puzzle, he groans against your collarbone, resuming his mission to claim you and make you his, ravishing your skin until a deep bruise forms in its place. 

He glides into you so effortlessly, his pace punishing. The slick of your arousal allows him to rut into you like you were made for him. By now, you’re certain that he’s fucked your pussy into the shape of his cock. It’s reserved for Taehyung so long as he’ll have you. 

He grabs the back of your thighs, folding you in half, right into a press, perfect for breeding. But not before roughly delivering a spank to the curve of your ass. The impact leaves a temporary mark, and you thrive off of the attention that he gives you. 

You’re so fucked out, you can’t think of anything other than coming with Taehyung’s name on your tongue. 

He pounds into you with a force that causes your body to inch up the mattress. The bed frame rocks against the wall, but neither of you care about the repercussions. Nobody could possibly hear you whoring yourself out when the boom of the bass is so loud downstairs. 

Would it really be such a bad thing if someone were to catch you? 

It should be humiliating how wet you are, soaking his cock like a bitch in heat. But in fact, you’re in love with the way he prods your cervix as he finds his home nestled inside of you. 

Taehyung grips the underside of your jaw, turning your head so that you can face the floor length mirror on the other side of the bed. 

His lips press against the shell of your ear as he whispers sweet nothings against your blazing hot skin. “You’re such a good girl. Look at how well you take me,” he coos. 

You stare into your reflection, eyes meeting your own in the mirror. Your makeup is a complete and utter mess. Your mascara runs down your cheeks from the tears in your eyes, your lipgloss stained from all the kisses you’ve shared. 

Taehyung’s hips roll against yours, and your gaze shifts to the strain of his muscles. His back is so broad and so strong. His biceps flex from holding himself above your body. 

From this angle, you can see the way he drives into you. Your pussy can’t help but swallow him deeper and deeper, accommodating his length as it drags against your walls with a delicious, slow burn. He fucks you so ardently, he can barely pull away for long before burrowing right back into your core, settling into the deepest parts of you. 

With your eyes trained on the mirror, you can spot the faint love bite that blooms beneath his ear. Perhaps there is a small part of Kim Taehyung that does belong to you. Or maybe your mind is playing tricks on your heart once again. 

Taehyung props himself up on his knees for more leverage. But before he can situate himself, he notices the small crack in the doorway, slightly ajar. Through the gap, he can see the wandering eyes of his fellow fraternity brother, none other than Park Jimin. He genuinely has no idea how long he’s been standing there. 

Feeling high on some power trip, Taehyung flashes an amused smirk at the man on the other side of the door, shooting him a wink as he plows his hips against yours.

There’s a small part of Jimin’s subconscious that makes him believe he should walk away and pretend that this never happened. It feels wrong to spy on his best friend splitting your sweet cunt in half, but he can’t seem to look away. The longer he stares, the harder he gets.

Maybe it’s the boost of serotonin that Jimin gets from the sight of your tits. They’re bouncing from the force of Taehyung’s thrusts, and he can only imagine how they would feel beneath his palms. Perhaps it’s the sound of your dulcet voice, begging Taehyung to fuck you deeper, spank you harder, and love you louder. 

Jimin has only ever dreamt about the sound of your moans, but now, he can hear them loud and clear from the other side of the door. 

He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. Perhaps this is a dream. Or maybe he’s a little too drunk at this point of the night. 

But when he looks up again, he’s met with Taehyung’s darkened eyes. Jimin’s mouth goes dry, wishing that he could be there in place of his dear friend. 

In all of his dreams, Jimin has never pictured you to like it so rough. You’ve always been so kind and so sweet, offering to clean the dishes among his dirty fraternity brothers. You’re so considerate to keep him company while he builds his Lego sets late into the evening. 

You’re practically the face of innocence. 

Now with this knowledge of you being a dirty, little whore, he can stow it away into the back of his mind, saving it for the dark and restless nights.

When Taehyung’s thumb meets your clit, you whimper his name. It’s raw, almost painful, coming from your scratchy throat. 

“Say it again,” Taehyung demands, tapping the side of your face with his free hand before gliding it down to your neck. “Say my name again. If you want me to cum inside of you, beg.” 

You cry out his name as your eyes roll back, his length prodding against your cervix, bruising the soft, spongy spot inside of you. Unintelligible murmurs spill from your lips. “I’ll do whatever you want. I just want your cum, I need it, please, please, please. Need you to fuck me full. I want your babies, daddy. You promised, remember?” 

Something inside of Taehyung ignites whenever you call him daddy. “You need it? Need my cum? My babies?” 

Taehyung picks up the pace, burying himself deep inside of you. His tone is mocking, and you fall apart to the sound of his voice. “What a needy fucking plaything.” 

He pays no mind to the way you shudder beneath him, tears falling down your face. He continues to maneuver you into a different position, manhandling your body in a way that has you clenching around him even tighter, sheathing his cock deeper between your walls. He hooks his arm beneath the bend of your knees, lifting your legs over his shoulders until you curl beneath him. 

You’re addicted to the way he fills you to the brim, splitting you in half. A ring of milky cream coats the base of his cock, revealing itself whenever he pulls out the slightest bit. It’s mixed with the saliva that he drops onto your mound, making the glide so effortless. 

Had this been any other night, Taehyung would not let you off the hook this easily. Instead, he would humiliate you into begging. Your face would be pushed into the mattress while he makes a mess of your pussy. He would spill his load inside of you while prolonging your orgasm, only allowing you to come if you beg for it. But tonight, he’s being much too kind in the presence of his guest.

Taehyung brings his hand down, spanking the curve of your ass. “You’re mine, aren’t you?” He groans against your lips. 

You shudder once again when he strikes your clit ー “This pussy is mine.” At this point, you would have thought you’d be used to it by now, but the impact continues to surprise you every time. 

He gives a harsh thrust into your cunt, deep and rough. Rushed murmurs of “mine, mine, mine.” For good measure, he spits on your face and slaps your cheek. Kim Taehyung fully knows that you do belong to him, and he needs Jimin to know that. 

Taehyung grabs your waist and flips you over so that you straddle his hips. He grips your jaw with a firm grasp, forcing your head toward the direction of the door. He doesn’t seem to forget about his dear friend. Because apparently, Park Jimin is as much of a pervert as you are. 

When you lock eyes with Jimin on the other side, you clamp around Taehyung’s length. 

He just knows that you love the attention. 

Your legs tremble on either side of his waist, and you want to collapse into his chest to hide in embarrassment. Humiliation prickles your cheeks, but you know there’s nowhere to run. 

As a reminder of his presence, Taehyung grips your waist. “Color?” All you have to do is say the word, and he’ll stop. 

You’ve expressed your interest in exhibitionism before, yet Taehyung has always been the one to keep your relationship a dirty little secret. So it doesn’t come as a surprise when you nod your head in confirmation, cursing out the words, breathless. “Green.” 

“‘Atta girl,” Taehyung groans, squeezing your hips. “Why don’t you show Jimin how you ride?” He suggests, clenching his jaw. 

There’s an innate need to show Jimin what a pretty, desperate little toy that you are. So you bounce on your knees, fucking yourself onto Taehyung’s cock. 

Jimin can’t keep his eyes off of you as your tits bounce on full display. His eyes scan your body up and down, taking note of the dress that bunches around your waist. It’s the same strawberry pattern that you wore to Sunday service the week prior. 

He remembers how pretty you looked as you sat cross legged on the other side of the pew 一 when you had volunteered to pass around plates of food for the elders at the luncheon and when you had flashed him a gummy smile after pouring you a glass of orange juice. But now, the image of you in that same exact dress has tainted his memory. 

Your hands rest on Taehyung’s chest as you grind your hips onto his. With each brush against your clit, you shudder, slowly losing your senses from the mind numbing pleasure. 

Soon enough, you lose your rhythm, jagged and off-tempo. Your thrusts are much too shallow for Taehyung’s liking, your thighs burning. It’s pathetic. You’re pathetic. But you can’t help it when you’re a little too distracted by Jimin’s eyes boring into yours. 

“You can do better than that,” Taehyung growls, landing a sharp slap against your ass. His fingers dig into your waist. Your flesh gives way to his grip, dimpling beneath the pressure. 

“Tell Jimin how much you love being fucked like a whore.” Taehyung says, punctuating each syllable with a sharp thrust. 

Because you are constantly under Taehyung’s spell, you do as you’re told, whining out Jimin’s name with tears in your eyes. “Minnie…” Taehyung grits his teeth, hating how close you are to all of his friends. At the end of the day, you’re his. 

There’s no hesitation in your voice. “Love it so much 一 Love being Taehyung's slut. He fucks me so well, he’s ruined me for anyone else. I can’t- I can’t-” The sobs wrack through your body as the dirty words pool out of your mouth. “Please, Tae, I want to come so bad. I’ve been a good girl, please, please please- I promise I won’t act up anymore, I only want you.” 

Taehyung has trouble believing your lies. You’ve been anything but a good girl all night. The images flash before his eyes 一 you drinking with Namjoon, leaning into Jimin’s touch, giggling with Jeongguk. Fuck, the way you came around his fingers when he flooded your pretty little head with thoughts of his friend claiming you in front of everyone like a needy whore 一 it sets a fire ablaze inside of him. 

The only thing you’ve done that’s worthy of praise is making room for Taehyung’s fat cock inside of your slutty cunt. 

Taehyung forces two fingers into your mouth, demanding you to suck. You swirl your tongue around his digits, making them nice and wet before he traces them down your spine. He circles the puckered rim of your ass before dipping right into your tight hole. 

“Would you let Jimin fuck you here?” Taehyung asks, searching for the answer in your eyes. “You could probably come with him in your ass, no?” 

Tears stream down your cheeks as you shake your head no. 

“Don’t pretend like you haven’t done it before, love. I know you can come as long as your holes are filled,” he coos. “Wouldn’t it feel so much better if you had two dicks inside of you? Sweet girl, I know you can take it.” 

You clench at the sound of his filthy words. Taehyung has never proposed a threesome before. He hardly talks to his fraternity brothers about you, whether it is out of privacy, jealousy, or embarrassment, you can never be sure. 

Drool starts to drip out of your mouth and pride swells up inside of Taehyung’s heart. 

He circles his arms around your waist, bringing you down to his chest. Digging his heels into the mattress, he bends his knees to thrust into you at a merciless pace. His perfect tempo hits your soft, spongy center with such precision. The head of his cock grazes against your g spot with every stroke, and you whine into his neck. 

Your eyes are threatening to close, and you find it difficult to catch your breath. 

Taehyung murmurs against your skin, reminding you to breathe. Upon hearing his calm voice, your chest heaves against his. 

“Come with me, come with me,” he demands, his voice breathy. “Show him that you’re mine.” 

With a few deep thrusts, you come on Taehyung’s cock, pulsing around his length. You clench around him so tight as though you never want him to leave. The sound of Taehyung’s moans are muffled by the blood rushing to your head. All you can hear is the thrum of your pulse, pounding against your ear drums. 

Taehyung’s hips still against yours as he grabs your waist, trying to find a semblance of self-control. He spills into your cunt with thick spurts of white, hot cum, filling you to the brim. It pours out from between your walls, coating the side of his length. 

Your breath is labored as you collapse into his chest, much too weak to hold yourself up any longer. 

When you look over at Jimin, there’s a dark, wet spot over the crotch of his pants. A small whimper escapes from his parted lips, his eyes screwed shut. 

If you did not have a modicum of rationality in your post orgasmic haze, you would think that Taehyung would offer to invite him inside. But as you’ve come to learn, Taehyung is not a fan of sharing what’s his. 

So when the show is over, Jimin is quick to step into the bathroom where he can touch himself to the fresh visual of you in your strawberry print dress. Perhaps he can conjure up the image of you on your knees, wrapping your pretty lips around his throbbing cock. He would die a happy man if he could paint your perfect tits with his cum. But for now, he’ll have to settle with the glide of his hand, imagining that it’s your tight walls sucking him into the warmth of your cunt. 

And once Jimin cleans himself up, he’ll be on his merry way to tell his dear friends about the best thing he has ever witnessed in his entire life. He’d be $20 richer after Seokjin coughs up the money he bet on your relationship. And maybe Jeongguk will finally come to terms with his feelings before he loses you completely.

Surely, when all is said and done, Taehyung has cleaned up the mess that he’s made, making sure that you’re happy and well taken care of. He kisses your lips and rubs your back, taking his time to clean you up. 

He’s extra gentle when he wipes a wet cloth against your swollen pussy. It’s far too sore after the rough pounding that he had put you through. Possibly bruised and broken, at least that’s how your body feels, yet you wouldn’t be opposed if he suggested another round after you’ve recuperated because you’re simply insatiable. 

Yet that moment never comes because the two of you tuck yourselves beneath the covers, making small talk until the morning rises. 

You never mention Namjoon nor Jimin. And you definitely wouldn’t dare to utter Jeongguk’s name. With sleepy thoughts and heavy eyelids, you simply let the night cut into the day. 

The morning light filters through the curtains, casting a beam across the thin film of your eyes. You’ve been awake for the last hour, keeping yourself occupied by counting the beauty marks that scatter across Taehyung’s face. You’ve done it a million times before. You could probably point them out in the dark, completely blind. 

“Creep,” he mutters under his breath when he catches you staring. 

A chuckle vibrates through your chest as you playfully push his shoulders. He rolls onto his side, facing the wall, but you cage him in your arms, wrapping them around his waist, molding your body to his. Your laugh tickles the nape of his neck.

Taehyung tries his best to ignore the lingering scent of your perfume on his bed sheets. He doesn’t want to acknowledge the right side of his bed where there’s a dip in the mattress ー the same shape as you. 

He won’t even bring up your awful bedhead because he thinks it’s funny. He likes how he’s the only one who gets to see you like this. You’re at your prettiest when you’re beneath him, but also beside him. 

Yet if he were to speak of this out loud, it would mean that all of this is his ー that he has something worth losing.

“How about I make some pancakes?” You offer, wiping the exhaustion from your eyes with the back of your hand. 

Taehyung shifts in your embrace. He strains his neck to gauge your expression. “Pancakes?” 

“Yeah, you got any strawberries?” They’re his favorite. He may have mentioned it once or twice in passing between soft kisses and sleepy yawns. Something about it being a reminder of his grandfather’s farm in Daegu. “Thought I saw some in the fridge the other day.” 

“Don’t you have class soon?” Taehyung wonders out loud. He already knows the answer. He has your schedule memorized. How could he not? 

“I could be late,” you shrug. “Remember what I told you about Professor Lee? He’s boring anyways.” 

On any other day, Taehyung would have said yes without a second thought. But the fact that you’re willing to skip class doesn’t sit right with him. Suffering through medical philosophy 301 might not be that important to you, but… would you honestly prefer to spend your time making strawberry pancakes? 

Taehyung clears his throat. “Before I say yes, can I ask you something?” 

The air is thick. 

There’s hesitation in your response, but you nod nevertheless. “What is it?” 

“Are these just pancakes, or… is it something else?” 

You part your lips, ready to respond, but the words are stuck in your throat. The answer should have been “just pancakes,” yet you’re certain that it’s more than that. 

Perhaps it’s the casual intimacy or the domesticity. Maybe it’s an extra 30 minutes spent with the guy you’re half in love with. Is that too much? Are you too much? 

“It’s whatever you want it to be.” You decide to play it safe as if you don’t want to die on the inside. As if his answer won’t have your organs collapsing on itself. 

How the hell is Taehyung supposed to tell you that he wants more than just breakfast and half an hour of your time. He wants all of it and more, but it’s selfish to ask for that. You deserve the world, but he can’t give you what you need. 

Time and time again, Taehyung has said that this is just casual. No strings attached. But how could he let it get this far? 

There’s an adoring look in your eye that triggers his fight or flight response. He’s scared. 

“I think… I just want pancakes.” There’s a dull ache in his heart and a voice that’s screaming in the back of his head. “But maybe next time. You should go to class.” 

Little do you know, it took a hell of a lot of courage to say anything but “Please have me. Please hold me. I’m sorry.” 

You try to push down the sting of his rejection as if it isn’t a reflection of the love that you deserve. “Okay, so I’ll see you later?” 

“Yeah, maybe.” Taehyung curls onto his side of the bed, retreating into himself. The heat of his body escapes yours. His responses shrink, reduced to nothing but an “I don’t know.” 

You contemplate his cold tone and decide not to push any further. Yet you’re certain that you’ll keep yourself awake in the dead of the night by finding meaning in his silence. 

For Taehyung, it hurts knowing that he can’t be the man for you. When his efforts fall short of what you deserve, he has a feeling that you’ll slip through his fingers once again. Would that hurt more than pushing you away?

When Taehyung asks you if you need a ride back to your place, a vile feeling bubbles up in the pit of your stomach. You can’t quite explain what it is. Anger? Hatred? Animosity? The truth is, you could never hate Kim Taehyung. Not for all the dreams you’ve shared. Not for all the wasted time. Not for the things he never said. 

Taehyung thinks a ride is the best he could do if he can’t offer himself to you. If he can’t be your boyfriend. 

You simply decline. “I think I wanna walk,” you mutter. Perhaps a little bit of fresh air is exactly what you need. Some time and space to clear your head and just think.

You hum, flashing him a smile that isn’t much of a smile at all. It doesn’t sit right on your face, Taehyung thinks. It doesn’t reach your eyes the way he’s accustomed to ー like when you ace your physiology exam, when two bags of chips fall out of the vending machine, or when you wave hello to a stray cat from across the street. Even if Taehyung notices the ill-fitting smile on your face, he doesn’t seem to mention it. 

So you slip out the door without another word, falling apart in the usual way. 

It’s chilly in the hallway outside of Taehyung’s room. You shiver at the feeling. 

From the back of your pocket, you pull out your phone, drafting a text to Taehyung: “It’s cold out. You should wear a jacket.” 

You contemplate hitting send, but before you can decide against it, a familiar voice brings you to a halt. 

“Hey, Y/N, morning!” The sweet lull of Jeongguk’s voice resonates through your eardrums. He’s always awake early in the morning, but perhaps he never went to bed to begin with.

His hair is messy. Disheveled. He has a crumb of toast that sits pretty on the corner of his lips, and you don’t hesitate to dust it off. He flashes a warm smile at you, thankful for the action. 

As he often does, you think that he might offer a ride to prevent the walk of shame. If you ever decline, he’ll just nod his head, shrug on a jacket, and walk by your side to the foot of your apartment building. In spite of Jeongguk’s frat boy status, he may be the only decent member of the fraternity. 

But this time, you don’t decline. You tuck your head between your shoulders as you shrug. An “okay” slips from your lips, followed by a “thank you.” 

Maybe you could use a friend. Maybe you could have more than that. 

There’s a set of keys in one of Jeongguk’s hands and a knit scarf in the other. He wraps it around your neck so that you can brave the cold, fifteen steps to his car at the end of the driveway. 

But as he fixes your bedhead, pulling your hair to the side, careful to not get it caught beneath the fabric of his scarf, he chimes with yet another question. 

“Are you and Taehyung serious by the way?”

You shake your head no. “No, not at all,” you murmur, sullen. 

There’s a hopeful smile that affixes itself onto his lips. “What would you say if I asked you out on a date?” 

[borathae]

"Taehyung shows you a spell which makes your strap function like real cock, then asks you to fuck him with it and he knows exactly how he wants it to happen. He's going to be the one getting pounded, but he'll drive you fucking crazy in process."

❖ Requested by all of you through a poll ❖

Pairing: Vampire!Taehyung x Witch!Reader

Genre: established relationship!AU, Magic!AU, Smut

Warnings: this is nasty porn besties, Dom!Taehyung who takes the dick, whiney sub!Reader, sex magic, her strap functions and looks like real cock, i'll also only refer to her strap as her cock/dick, and i'll use gender neutral nicknames, so i think that male readers can have a blast with this one as well <3, in some way this is a first time for her, blowjob, deep throating, snowballing, cum eating, handjob, frotting, multiple orgasms for both, anal sex (Tae receiving), hole stretching with cock, cowboy position, praise, dirty talk, Tae calls himself her "bitch", strength kink, he pins her down by her wrists, bro he needs to leave me alone fr, the biggest cum kink, a lil bit of spit kink too, scent kink, subby tears of pleasure, creampies, belly bulging, cum leaking, squirting, i'm telling you this is the cum kink story, once again this is so filthy and nasty, this is both gentle but also rough fucking, they're both done afterwards, loving aftercare, they're kinky and in love

Wordcount: 8.1k

a/n: just a reminder that you guys chose this story for his bday. you brought this upon yourselves 😩 enjoy besties ❤

“How does it feel?”

“I can’t tell a difference. I guess heavier?” you shift from one leg to the other, looking down at your own crotch, “I can feel that there’s something between my legs. It’s tangling.”

“It’s nice, is it not?”

“It’s….it’s different.”

You look up, expecting to meet his eyes, but you don’t. He is mesmerised by your cock and how it sits so heavily between your legs.

It was hard once, made out of silicone with no possible chance of softening. And then you spoke the magic words. The words he showed you and practiced with you until they finally worked. And oh how they worked. Your once hard, unmoving silicone dick softened and melted with your body until it was part of you. Now made out of flesh and with feeling in it. The colour doesn’t quite match your skin tone because the dildo was a few shades warmer than your real skin, but it somehow makes it look even sexier. Part of you for one night, so perfectly in place even if it was once impossible to fit. It is so wonderfully arousing to Taehyung.

“Darling?”

“Mhm?” he lifts his head and with it, his eyes.

“You stared.”

“Because I want you”, he says and draws closer. His big hand comes to touch your waist, his eyes race over your features obsessively. His pupils are dilated, “how is it for you? Truthfully.”

“Weird?” you say and chuckle shyly, “I can’t decide yet. I feel a weight between my legs, it’s tugging down a little. I never felt like this before.”

He lowers his lids playfully, whispering his next words.

“Shall I take the weight off of you?”

Your stomach tingles, your hands come to touch his bared chest. Clothes aren’t necessary anymore. You had to undress for the spell naturally and Taehyung never wore more than just some jockstraps. Not to forget the golden necklaces around his neck and the emerald earrings adorning his ears. He looks so sexy and his words make you want him even more.

“Mhm darling? I can do it for you, carry the heavy burden in your stead”, he offers, drawing tingling circles on your waist with just his fingertips.

“How would you do it?” you ask for the sole reason of wanting him to show you.

“Can I show you?” he asks, looking deep into your eyes.

“Yes”, you allow him, feeling mesmerized by him.

The deep connection remains as Taehyung lets his right hand glide down your body until he can let it disappear between your legs. He cups your heavy balls and soft cock. His hand is so big that all of it fits inside his palm.

Warmth.

You let out a shaky gasp, closing your fingers on his chest in a needy grasp. You can actually feel his touch. It is right there, between your legs, cradling what once wasn’t part of you, but what now feels so achingly needy for more.

Taehyung bounces your heaviness in his palm gently.

“Like this”, he whispers.

“Tae, this is…oh god…”

He needs to hold back right now. He dreamt of holding your cock ever since your magic was discovered. It is difficult to go slow right now because all he craves is to fuck you senseless. But he knows better. He knows that this is new to you, that you never experienced such sensations before and that every step taken too quickly could be overwhelming for you.

So he cradles you, bouncing you in his safe hand while his left hand caresses your waist. You keep tensing your abs. He feels them tighten under his thumb each time he brushes it over them.

“Does this lessen the weight?” he asks in a whisper.

“Fuck, it just make it worse”, you breathe out as you speak, resulting in your words to swirl over his skin. Your breath smells minty. Taehyung matches with you.

“It does? Where is it worst?” he asks and opens his palm to reveal your cock to him. He keeps his hand under it, carrying it safely so he could trace it with his left hand. His fingertips brush over your balls first, outlining them, “there?”

You throb softly, growing just a little in his palm.

“Tae, this is…” you get out and exhale shakily, looking down. There is so much heat rushing to your groin. You genuinely never felt so much fucking heat between your legs. It’s insane and it’s somehow getting more and more, the longer he is tracing your cock.

“Or is it there?” he asks, dancing his finger up your shaft.

More warmth. So much warmth. How easy is it to get so heated up? Why is it so easy? He barely did anything and you already feel like burning up. 

“Or maybe there?” he asks and presses his finger against your tip to draw circles on it.

“Woah”, you gasp, flinching away from him so harshly you actually slip out of his hold.

He stares. You stare. The heat between your legs throbs. It throbs so bad that it is almost painful. With every throb the weight seems to grow and at the same time get less. The tug downwards decreases while the heaviness of your balls somehow gets more. It is so impossible to describe.

You look down. You are hard. The view is familiar to you because you had a lot of hard dick in front of you already, but tonight is different. Tonight it is truly connected to you. Your skin blends into that of your erection and you know for a fucking fact that the blood you feel throbbing inside it, is your very own.

“Taehyung, this is fucking insane”, you let out, shaking your head in disbelief.

“I know and it is so bloody arousing”, he says and closes the distance between you and him until he can trap your hard cock between your bodies. You feel how he bends it up and how it gets squished between your tummy and his crotch. His clothed cock presses against your bared one, sharing warmth. The fabric of his jockstrap is soft and rough at the same time.

“Wait Tae, wait”, you try to flee again because this is actual insanity, but Taehyung doesn’t let you. He keeps you pinned to him with his hands on your hips, silencing your worrying by kissing your neck. You heart flutters, but you barely feel it because all you can concentrate on is the heavy throbbing between your legs each time his lips touch your skin.

“Holy fuck Tae, please just”, you gasp and tremble, pushing at his chest softly, “just give me a second, please.”

“I am”, he promises you and takes a step back, “talk to me”, he says, holding your hands. He caresses your knuckles with his thumb, looking at you with adorning eyes.

“I”, you squeak out and stumble back, “I need to just take a moment. This is a lot. Holy fuck.”

“Hey, I’m here, hey”, he gasps and holds your hands tighter to prevent you from falling, “sit down, it’s safer to sit”, he offers and lifts you atop his bed. It is a very high bed and because he sat you down quite far up the mattress, it results in your feet tangling in the air. He gets between your legs, towering over you just enough that you have to tilt your head to make eye contact.

“Talk to me. Is it not your taste?” he asks, caressing your upper arms slowly. His eyes race between yours, looking so utterly attentive.

“It’s just….a lot. I don’t know. I feel so fucking hot between my legs. Is that normal? What if the spell didn’t work correctly? I feel every throb, Tae. It’s so hot”, you say with serious eyes.

Taehyung’s gaze softens. He chuckles fondly.

“Why are you laughing? I’m serious, Tae.”

“I know, gosh I know. Please forgive me”, he says between giggles, cupping your cheeks to caress them gently, “it is just that…my darling, this is how an erection feels like. You are simply horny.”

“But…but it’s so hot. Like, so hot.”

“I am aware.”

“That’s normal?”

He nods his head.

“You feel like this every time you get horny?”

“Yes.”

“Tae.”

“Why?”

“This is awful, oh my god, I might actually burst.”

Taehyung laughs, scrunching his nose up as he does.

“Don’t laugh, I’m actually suffering.”

“Please forgive me, but you are just so adorable”, he says.

You huff out air, frowning at him with a pout. His gaze softens, his hands brush down your arms soothingly.

“I can make it better”, he offers.

“You can?” you whisper, feeling flutters in your stomach.

“I can”, he breathes and brushes his fingers over your cockhead. Just a feather light touch, but it still felt intense to you.

You moan, rolling your hips up to chase him. Another touch never comes, even more intense heat remains.

“Just tell me that you want to continue this and I will”, he adds.

“I do”, you say and add a word you never meant more than right now, “please.”

His lips curl into a proud smirk, his eyes lower playfully.

“Get on the bed, rest back against it”, he orders.

You follow instantly, pulling your legs up on the mattress so you can move to the middle of the bed and rest back into the heap of soft pillows. They engulf you, allowing you to be comfortable and still sit up enough that you have a view of your lower body. Taehyung joins you on the bed, kneeling down next to you.

He guides his hand down your torso, tracing your inner thigh next. You throb, sneaking a glance at him to see if he also noticed. He meets your eyes.

“Needy?” he asks.

“Did you see that?”

“I did.”

“Tae, it’s”, you shift impatiently, “it’s so hot.”

“I know darling, I know”, he says and wraps his fingers around the base of your cock, “and so heavy as well. Darling, you are so heavy in my hand.”

“Don’t tease me. Please”, you wanted to order him, but it only comes out as a beg. Of course it does. You are so madly horny right now. 

Taehyung was the one to introduce you to the idea of experimenting with sex spells. For now, you have already perfected a spell which enchants ropes to make it impossible for even vampires to break through them. Another spell controls his orgasms and make it impossible for him to climax without your magical allowance. Your newest spell is this one right here and it is definitely messing with your sanity the most. You are so horny that you can barely even think. 

“Please…”

“Please what, darling?” Taehyung teases, tickling your inner thigh gently. 

“Do something please.” 

“Something? Like this?” he asks and lowers himself to your cock, flicking his tongue over your tip gently.

You flinch again.

“Holy fuck.”

“How was that?”

“Wet. Holy fuck.”

“Yes, tongues tend to be wet”, he is teasing. Of course he is. 

“Tae, please”, you whine, wiggling your legs, “I can’t take your attitude right now. Please.”

He chuckles, “adorable”, he whispers before swirling his tongue over your tip. Once. Twice. 

“Tae, oh god. This is insane, seriously.”

“You taste so good, darling”, he whispers.

“I can feel every fucking word you speak. Holy fuck.”

“You’re so needy. It’s adorable.”

“Tae. Holy fuck.”

He chuckles, wrapping his lips around you.He takes only your tip inside and gives it one suck, then lets it go with a bop of his lips. He rubs them against your tip, giving you small licks.

“Holy fuck”, you gasp, bucking your hips in sync with your fingers tangling in his hair.

Taehyung moves his head with it, preventing your cock from slipping into his mouth. He chuckles. The vibrations force you to squeeze your eyes shut in a full face scrunch.

“Tae, what the fuck. What the…actual..f-fuck.”

He slips off of you again, laughing deeply.

“I haven’t even done anything yet.”

“Oh god…”

“You are adorable”, he says fondly and climbs between your legs. He lies down on his tummy, draping his arms over your thighs so he could support himself on his elbows and then he takes your cock between his fingers again. He moves closer, connecting his lips with your balls by nuzzling his entire lower face between your legs. He purrs deliciously, breathing in your sensual musk as his hungry lips suck on the sensitive skin of your balls.

“Holy fuck.”

You try to say something else. Seriously, you do. But you can’t think of any other words. He barely hasn’t done anything yet and you are already too dumb to speak.

His purrs vibrate against your skin. It feels electric and goes so deep, you swear you can feel it in your bones. His lips are soft and wet from his drool. His tongue is even wetter and feels ten degrees hotter on your skin. This is impossible to handle and so you squeeze your thighs around his head, grasping his lower arms in a desperate plea for help.

“Mhhm darling”, Taehyung comes up for air, “you smell like sex. Truly, I want to devour you.”

“Taeee”, you whine, pulling a face of devastation. 

He moans hungrily, dragging his lips up the thick vein on the underside of your cock until he has your frenulum under them. He purrs, opening his mouth to stick out his tongue and grind the flat of it against it.

“Tae”, you whimper, grabbing strands of his ebony hair. You know how his tongue feels. You know how wet and hot it is against your bundle of nerves and yet the knowledge still doesn’t make it easier right now. You should know how good he feels, but you still can’t believe this is happening. This feels so much different than on other nights. This starts off on your tip like fire and crawls down your entire length until it spreads through your legs.  

Taehyung loves how your thighs shake under his arms and how hard you tug on his hair. His scalp stings, motivating him to ruin you even more. You should know how it is to be sucked off. You deserve it. You deserve to have your balls worshipped until they are dripping in saliva, you deserve to have your frenulum licked until it is swollen and you deserve to have your every inch fucked by tight throat until you are throbbing painfully. Taehyung wants to make sure that you experience everything because everything is what you deserve.

He sticks out his tongue further and opens up farther, letting your cock sink into his mouth. He moans as he swallows you, basking in the high-pitched squeaks you let out. You begin chanting in whispers.

“Oh god, oh god, oh god.”

Deeper. Your chants grow in pitch, as they do in volume, the tension on his hair increases. Taehyung moans. His lips meet your groin, his throat bulges from your cock.

“Oh g-god Tae”, you yelp and thrust your hips up as the unfamiliar sensation throws you over the edge.

Taehyung knew that it would happen. Of course it would. Your pretty virgin cock was never sucked off before, let alone was allowed to rest snug in a tight throat. Of course you would climax instantly. He moans deeper just to make it more intense for you, keeping your writhing body down with minimal effort. You might rip his hair out if you continue tugging, but he doesn’t mind. The pain is goddamn glorious to experience.

“Tae!” you can’t stop almost screaming his name, arching your back over and over as fiery pleasure throbs in your cock. Your tip feels on fire, your shaft is charged in painful electricity and your balls are convulsing so tightly that they hurt. Your legs are also useless, weak sticks of shaking muscles right now. This orgasm wasn’t planned, it wasn’t expected and it makes it feel all the more unbearable.

Taehyung slips off your cock the moment it begins to die down. Of course he would know when to stop. He gives you no time to catch your breath as he places his hand on the back of your neck and pulls you into a tongue kiss. You can’t reciprocate it at first, gurgling desperately as he fills your mouth with your own cum. It tastes slightly salty with a faint bitter note at the back of your throat. This isn’t how he tastes when he normally kisses you after head. This is more intense and leaves you feeling droopy. Taehyung licks into your mouth, scooping out the cum he fed you just so he can swallow it with needy moans. He can’t catch everything, resulting in your chins to get messy and sticky as you desperately try to kiss him back.

It gets easy until it suddenly doesn’t because he decides to wrap his hand around your cock and jerk you off quickly. You bite down on his lip to the point where you feel it break. His spit burns on your tongue as his blood mixes with it. He breaks away, looking at you with slightly panicky eyes.

“You bit me”, he whispers. His lips is already healed again, but the knowledge of what he just fed you remains. Will you end it now?

“Tae”, you beg and pull him back into a kiss.

He purrs, deepening his grip on your head in sync with his hand speeding up around your cock. He feels dizzy at the realisation that you don’t care about the mishap. He meets your tongue and twists his fist around your cockhead.

And the kiss breaks again. Of course it does.

“Oh god”, you whimper, sitting up straight because the sensation overwhelms you.

“How is that?” he asks.

“It hurts.”

“Hurts? Need me to stop?”

You shake your head, “sensitive”, you squeak and sob softly, “Tae please.”

“You’re okay. I know your cock is sensitive. Of course it is. Your pretty untouched cock can barely handle it, but it’s okay. I know what I’m doing”, he talks you through the handjob, keeping you with him with his hand on the back of your head. The only way you could look away is by closing your eyes, but you don’t want to. You want to keep looking up at him as he jerks you off. It feels so good. You are so sensitive from your surprise orgasm that it hurts so fucking bad and yet you don’t want it to stop because there are electric tingles deep, deep down you crave to have at the very surface of your cock.

“Do you feel it? Mhm? Can you feel how good I can handle cock?” he taunts and digs the pad of his thumb into your weeping slit. A stinging stretch radiates from it, pressure so intense you wonder if he is bursting your urinary tract is shooting all the way down to your balls.

You widen your eyes, squeaking for help. He gives it to you gently. Lovingly. Softly. He slips his thumb out of your slit again, massaging it in circular motions until the sting ceases to exist.

“That’s better, right?” he speaks deeply, caressing the nape of your neck with his thumb.

“Tae”, you spill tears, grasping his pecs desperately, “it feels so good.”

“I know it does. Of course it does. You’ve got such a sensitive little cock.”

“Sensitive”, you agree, squeaking helplessly as he begins twisting his hand around your cockhead again. You writhe on the sheets, trying to lie down but he keeps you with him. He tightens his grip on your head, giving you a warning flicker of his eyes.

“So sensitive, I know. So, so sensitive”, his voice is sweet even when his grip is rough, “it will pass. Trust me, it will pass.”

“I, I think I h-have to pee”, you stutter.

“That’s okay. Just let it out if you need to”, he reassures you, “leaking cocks are my favourite.”

“Tae please stop.”

He slows down his hand, cupping your balls instead to play with them.

“Sorry. Sorry, I’m sorry”, you stutter as you try to catch your breath.

“It’s okay. You’re doing so well, I’m so proud of you”, he soothes you, cradling your cheek in his big hand, “I’m sorry, I know I was a little rough right now. Especially after your first ever orgasm, I know this must have been a lot right now.”

“Yeah, sorry”, you hiccup and shudder, “Tae, kisses please.”

He smiles fondly and pulls you into a kiss. A gentle one for a change. It tastes of love and adoration. His lips guide yours in slow movements, his tongue caresses yours in a tender dance.

Now without support at the back of your head, your body finally gives up on you. You fall back into the pillows, dragging Taehyung right with you. He doesn’t break the kiss, lifting and moving your body until you can comfortable lie on your back and he can rest on top of you. He is between your legs, pressing his clothed crotch against yours.

He doesn’t like that he does. The fabric is too thick of a barrier. He reaches down with one hand and rips the small piece of clothing off his body, throwing it on the floor mindlessly. His cock, hard and wet from slick comes into contact with yours. He rolls his hips slowly, grinding it against yours repeatedly.

The kiss breaks again, just like it has happened with every new sensation he lets you experience. Taehyung isn’t angry that it does, on the contrary he loves it because he can take in the utter look of shock on your face and the intense look of pleasure following right after.

“Can you feel that?” he asks slightly out of breath.

You nod your head, dimpling his shoulders from grabbing them so tightly.

“I’m so hard for you, darling. Feel it”, he whispers and angles his hips so he could grind his cockhead against your frenulum.

“Tae”, you whimper and spill tears.

“Our cocks are melting, darling. We’re so close this way.”

“Tae…”

You squeeze your eyes shut and arch your back. He is so wet. His tip is so soft. The way he is grinding on you feels so incredibly good.

“It feels wonderful for me”, he whispers, “darling, we’re so close. So immensely close”, he adds and deepens the connection by wrapping his long fingers around both your cocks. He presses them together, pumping them in a slow rhythm. It not only gives you the sensation of a handjob, but also grinds your cocks together. The combination of both sensations is unbearable to you. You reach down, grabbing his wrist desperately.

“Please Tae”, you beg shakily.

He slows down gradually until he stops completely. He keeps a hold on your cocks, cradling your pressed together tips in his palm.

“Too much again?”

“I’m so sensitive. I’m sorry”, you get out, whimpering in embarrassment.

“It’s okay. I’m so proud of you”, he calms you down, wiping your tears and kissing your forehead, “I think we are done with foreplay, mhm?”

“Foreplay?”

“Mhm yes”, he smiles against your forehead, “I can’t have you climaxing too many times already. One was enough. The next I want to take up my ass.”

“Oh god”, you croak, writhing on the sheets. It shifts your cock in his hand, sending electricity through your legs. Holy shit, his cock is so close to yours. The grinding is already mind-blowing, but the knowledge of how close he is, drives you even deeper into ruin, “oh god, Tae.”

“Is this something you want to give me, darling?”

You nod your head vigorously.

“You do?”

“Y-yes.”

“Yes? So I can quickly get the lube to make it easier for me?”

You nod your head.

“I love you”, he whispers and kisses your lips, “oh, I want to worship you.”

He leaves you alone on the bed for nothing but a few seconds, returning to you just as your arms have found enough strength to sit yourself up. You look at your own cock and how incredibly hard it is between your legs. It is glistening wet, aching to be touched again.

Taehyung climbs onto your lap, stealing a giggly kiss from you before sitting up. The bottle of lube is between his fingers, he is smiling down at you.

“Are you ready?”

“You didn’t stretch.”

“I’ll manage.”

“But…won’t it hurt?”

“Trust me”, he assures you and lifts his hips so he could shimmy right above your cock. He spreads a thick layer of lube all over your cock, using the access to circle his hole with it. You can’t stop staring, breathing quickly because he keeps stealing your breath. He is seconds away from taking your cock unprepared and there is no ounce of nervousness on his features. He meets your eyes, giving you a sweet smile.

“Nervous?” he asks.

“A little.”

“Don’t be. It will feel so good”, he says and sinks down.

“Holy. Fuck”, you gasp, sitting up in shock.

Taehyung pushes you down again, smiling at you with sparkling eyes.

“Holyfuck”, you get out, arching your back even if he is holding you down.

“Amazing, isn’t it?”

“Yes”, you whimper and grab his wrists. You bottom out, curling your toes as your back once again leaves the sheets. Your eyes roll back and close sensually, “holy fuck.”

“Yeah, right”, he agrees and begins shifting his hips on you back and forth. Slowly because he knows how sensitive virgin dick can be. 

“Tae! Ah.”

“I know. This is amazing, isn’t it?”

“I’m gonna cum, ah.”

“If you have to, do it. I won’t stop afterwards however”, he says.

“Please stop, please stop for a moment, please”, you beg, bruising his thighs as you try to stop him this way.

Taehyung stills his movements, caressing the sides of your neck to soothe you. Your pulse is racing under his fingertips.

“How are you feeling?” he asks.

“It’s so much”, you croak and peel your eyes open. You gulp, pulling a face of devastation, “I can feel it. Tae, I can feel your ass.” 

“I know”, he says, wiggling just a little to shift your cock in him. He loves the sensation because it gives his hole the possibility of getting used to the stretch.

“I wanted to feel this for years”, you confess with trembling lips as the emotions begin to overwhelm you, “this was a dream of mine. Tae, I-��, your voice cuts off because you have to whimper.

“I know, oh I know”, he wipes the trembles away by cupping your cheeks and kissing your lips. He smiles into the kiss, smiling brighter when he feels your lips curl into a smile as well. 

“I’m so happy”, you whisper shakily into the kiss, grasping the nape of his neck to keep him close.

“I’m happy too, my darling”, he whispers and moans gently, “I feel so stuffed with you. You’re so big.”

“Oh god, Tae this is driving me insane. I can feel you clench. Holy fuck, you’re so hot inside.”

“I’m burning for you”, he rasps and rocks back and forth.

“Tae”, you squeak out quietly.

“Does this feel nice for you?”

“Ye-yeah”, your voice trembles as you speak because all of this is just a little overwhelming to handle.

“It feels nice for me as well”, he sighs and sits up. Your fingers glide from his neck, lying weakly on the pillow. He places his hands on your tummy, using the support to rock back and forth. 

Your eyes close in a roll again, your lips part in needy moans. You grip his thighs, dimpling them desperately. His name is the only word you get out between all your sounds. It tastes saccharine on your tongue.

“I’m so stuffed. Oh so stuffed”, he sighs, lowering his eyes sensually. Taking it slow. This is what he is doing. You need it. He needs it as well. Taehyung took cock without preparation many times before. He also took cocks way bigger than yours, so he is used to a way more painful stretch than he feels right now. It is still very nice to get used to being opened up with slow movements. Because he isn’t bouncing on you, it also means that he is constantly stretching himself. He loves it so much that his toes curl each time he feels your length graze against his prostate.

But enough about him. You are barely holding on. It is already way too arousing to fuck his ass on normal days. You always imagined it to feel warm, but that was wrong. It is burning hot and so tight that it feels as if his ass was jerking you off. His unstretched rim squeezes around your base, forcing your cock to stay so much harder. His walls are so soft and wet. You already thought that his mouth was soft, but this is taking the fucking crown. 

“I think I can’t hold back”, you gasp out, writhing on the sheets.

“It’s alright. Don’t hold back”, he encourages you, staring at your face with obsession in his eyes. You are so beautiful when pleasure controls you. He can’t get enough of you.

“Tae, too much”, you whimper.

“I know, so sensitive. It’s alright, fill my ass with your climax, darling. I’m made for it.” 

“Tae ah god”, you gasp and tense up. It starts off in your tip and shoots down your shaft before it forces your balls to tense and begin throbbing. You feel it squirting out of you. It feels so good. Like one big relief of a fiery burden. His insides get wet and sticky. Hotter as well. Of course he does, you’re climaxing so fucking hot. Of course you warm him up with it. All of it just makes you climax that much harder.

“Yes. Fill me up. Ah darling”, Taehyung growls, rocking his hips on you needily, “give me everything, ah”, he moans and chases it with bounces on your cock. The feeling of being marked as yours is what finally set him off. Your cum sticking to his walls is what makes it impossible to behave any longer. 

He drags his hips up and drops down on you, forcing a guttural grunt out of you. You try to sit up again, grabbing his waist and staring up at him with widened eyes. The utter shock is obvious in them.

He pushes you back into the sheets, smiling down at you with mischief in his eyes. He lifts his hips, drops them, repeats it. Over and over until you realise he is getting used to a rhythm and you have to get used to it with him.

It burns. Your cock is genuinely only staying hard because his tight rim is forcing it to. You claw at his waist, breaking skin but it’s the only way to handle the overstimulation.

You try to say his name but it only comes out as a gurgled, “-ae nngn.” 

“Breathe. That’s what I always do. Breathe.” 

You try to do what he says. It does help a little. Your legs still stay useless however, shaking against your will as he picks up speed gradually. The overstimulation hurts so much more than on other days. You want to flee from it as much as you chase it with weak movements.

“Breathe. Keep breathing. Just keep fucking breathing”, Taehyung lulls and circles his hips as he sinks down. 

“Holy fuck, urgh fuck”, you get out, writhing helplessly because he just doesn’t stop. He continues dancing his hips on you, keeping your cock so, so hard for him, “please oh god”, you beg him, sitting up again because your body reacts like this instinctively.

Taehyung stops you with a strong hold around your wrists. He pushes you back down and pins your wrists down into the ruffled sheets just a little above your head, putting some of his weight on them.

“Stop sitting up, I’m not done with this”, he tells you and slams his hips down on you. Skin slaps against skin. Your cock gets fucked so hard by his tight ass. 

“Tae”, you gasp loudly, writhing in his strong hold in an attempt to flee him. This is too much. You can’t stop fucking leaking and his ass is so fucking tight that each time you bottom out, your cock feels like it might burst from the squeeze.

“Don’t flee this”, he speaks calmly. As if he wasn’t in the process of ruining you, “take it. I know you can do it.”

“Holy fuck, argh”, you arch your back, throw your head back, gasp for fucking air.

Taehyung watches with blown-out pupils as your mouth opens and your tongue curls back in a tortured moan. He slides his hands to your palms and intertwines his fingers with you. You squeeze him back instantly, shaking and trembling whilst at the same time using so much strength that it borders painful.

“Yes that’s better. Hold my hands”, he growls and speeds up.

“Tae please”, you yelp, hitting your head on the sheets repeatedly as you try to take the ride he gives you. Holy fuck your cock is burning up. It hurts so much and yet you don’t want it to stop, “ple-please”, you sob, contorting your face in agony.

“I’m not done, darling. I’m not done”, Taehyung tells you, “I want to use you like a perfect fucking sexdoll.”

“Fuck. Oh fuck, oh god fuck. Ah fuck”, you chant, barely registering his words because all that consumes you is the burning of your cock and the never ending pleasure coursing through your body. Your legs are jello, your muscles can’t work except for uncontrollable shaking he forces out of them each time he slams his bubble butt down on you.

“Take a deep breath for me.”

You try to. You really, really do but you can’t. He knocks the air out of you. Just as he squeezes even the last droplet of desperation from your burning cock.

“Breathe darling, breathe”, he growls and squeezes his hole on you. He moans deeply, basking in your high-pitched mewl of pained pleasure, “your cock is so big. My hole’s so fucking stuffed with you.”

“I can’t”, you croak and sob, arching your back as he forces uncontrollable shakes out of you, “Tae I’m fucking serious, I can’t do this anymore”, you sob, rolling your hips up desperately.

Taehyung doesn’t look at you. Taehyung keeps his head thrown back and rolls his hips as he takes your cock as deep as he can. He aches for you to go so much deeper than you do. He wants to feel it poke the furthest walls of his intestines, wants it truly filling him out.  

“Colour?” he asks you.

“I don’t know anymore”, you get out, writhing under him. You are blurry. Everything is dizzy. Your brain can’t speak. Your eyes can’t hear.

Taehyung rolls his head to front and stops his hips. He cradles your cheeks, wiping away the heavy streak of tears. The touch brings comfort, calming down some of the shaking.

“Look at me”, he says softly.

You peel your eyes open. He is blurry in your vision. A glowing aura surrounds him because you see him double. Or maybe it is because is currently your fucking god. The one who controls your body and whose name you only know how to speak. You grab his wrists, whimpering his name so weakly that it only comes out as squeaks.

“Do you want to stop this?” he asks and traces your lips. They are wet from drool. He smears it all over your skin as he goes to caress your cheek again. Neither of your care.

“Tae”, you whimper and reach for him. You hook your fingers behind his neck and pull him down.

He slams his hand into the pillow beside your head in the last moment, smiling fondly as he gets your tongue wiggling its way over his lower face as you try to kiss him. He chuckles and shows your tongue its destiny by sucking it between his lips and therefore engaging you in a sloppy tongue kiss. You whimper and mewl, pulling him closer, closer, closer. He lets you, kissing you back and sharing way too much fucking saliva with you. He loves it, moaning into you and getting your moans in return.

He keeps his hips still at first. It is clear that all you need is a kiss, that you don’t want to end this yet but you still couldn’t take another bounce. He knows that feeling. He knows how it is to be ridden into a state of complete uselessness and how addicting it is. He knows how hard it is to truly want to stop this because despite the agonizing burn of your cock, the fuck is just way too good to stop it. And he knows that despite all of this obsessive, sick desire your body is weaker than the spirit, that breaks are necessary even if you don’t want them. Taehyung knows those feelings. He knows exactly in what kind of state you find yourself in right now and because he does, he also knows exactly when he is allowed to start moving again.

When you twist his hair with both hands, when your hips wiggle under him and your moans become so much more desperate than before. Taehyung knows and he is there to give it to you so hard.

He starts off slowly, drawing circles with his hips until you notice what is happening and break the kiss to gasp. You share the same air, staring at each other with droopy eyes. At least you do, Taehyung is having a piercing gaze on you, pinning you down with dark siren eyes.

“I’m so stuffed with cock”, he rasps and takes your right hand to put it on his stomach. He presses down, letting you feel how the pressure squishes your cum around. His stomach grumbles and gurgles as your fingers squeeze your cum down and your cock fucks it into him again, “and your cum”, he adds in a breathy moan, “I’m so filled with your cum that it gets hard to keep inside. Do you feel it?”

This is too much. It is already a lot to have him ride your burning cock, but to feel how stuffed with cum he is, is too much.

“Again”, you get out and roll your eyes back without truly bothering to close them. It already feel intense, but what truly makes it unbearable is the fact that Taehyung squeezes your hand closer to his stomach and therefore makes you feel how your cum shoots up his intestines. Maybe this is why it burned so much. Maybe this is why you were so breathless. Because he has been dragging an orgasm to the surface. Again. Again. Again. How many times? How many times is he going to circle and roll his hips as your cock shoots up his tight ass? You can’t find an answer but you know that it doesn’t get easier to bear. On the contrary. Your first orgasm down his throat was short and fiery, your second up his ass was warm and dragged out, this one is intense and fucking addicting. You should want him to stop because your cock is begging you for a break, but you don’t want to. It hurts and you want fucking more, moaning in pained ecstasy as your heavy cock empties itself inside his tight, textured walls.

Taehyung moans with you, throwing his head back in ecstasy because nothing beats getting creampied by you. Over and over again. It doesn’t lose its spark. On the contrary, the more you climax, the fuller he feels. Fuck, the spell makes you so packed with it. No matter how many times you climax, the amount of cum doesn’t get less. Taehyung can feel it fill his stomach and he gets off on it so fucking good that he keeps leaking onto your stomach.

He pushes your wrists together and holds them down with his right hand so he can press his left hand over yours on his stomach. It is bulging. Not only from your cock, but also from being filled with cum.

“I’m so stuffed with you”, he moans loudly, arching his back, “my stomach’s bursting from cum.”

“Tae please, I can’t. Ah!”

“Darling”, he moans, dropping to his elbow so he could moan into your ears, “I’m your fucking bitch”, he mewls and orgasms around your cock.

He becomes unbearably tight, throbbing and pulsating around your cock and making it so much harder to function.

“Tae please. Oh god you are so tight, please. Ah! Tae!” you beg and sob loudly, grasping his tensed biceps because it is all you can handle.

“This is the last one. Promise. Please just fill me up with everything”, he begs and orders at the same time, rutting against you as his ass overflows with your cum shots. His current high ruins him. He didn’t even know how much pressure was in his prostate until your squirting cock broke him. He can barely breathe, pushing your cock out against his will because he is tightening so fucking hard. It only makes him fuck back so much harder and quicker, needing to stay stuffed like lungs need air.

And so you are destined to shake, writhe and beg until Taehyung milked you dry. Well, as dry as you can get because even after your orgasm, you swear you could probably cum again. Not that you want to, but you swear that you could.

You drop your hand from his stomach and sob his name.

Taehyung knows that it is over, that your cock throbbed as much as it can and that you aren’t lost in another high anymore. He also knows exactly how to move to get you to the highest peak of pleasure. He knows because he has done it a million times before. He peels himself off of you, sitting up straight which shifts your cock deeper again. It presses against his abdominal wall, forcing it to stick out where your burning tip lies. He is so filled with cum that sitting up like this actually hurts in his stomach. He is so stuffed and there is no way for it all to go. He tenses up involuntarily, easing the pressure by lifting his hips just enough that he has your cock halfway inside.

His hole flutters and relaxes against his will, releasing spurts of your cum in wet, sinful sounds.

“I’m so stuffed”, he whimpers and for the first time tonight, he sounds so utterly submissive. He rests his hands on your waist, using it for support as he tries to sink down on you again. His hole squelches and squirts more cum, enabling your cock to fill him up without any sort of friction.

You bottom out. The pressure returns. Taehyung mewls your name. You sob his name.

“I’m so stuffed”, he says again because this is all he can really tell you, “please can you go a little longer? Please one more time. I need it one more time.”

“I don’t know”, you get out, writhing between his fingers.

“One more time, I’ll be gentle. Like this”, he begs and bounces on your cock in a slow rhythm.

“Tae”, you mewl, twisting the sheets.

You are ruined. He is ruined. It is obvious to both of you that the right thing to do right now would be to stop this, but you can’t. Your cock is on fire, how he is going to milk you again is a mystery to you but you know that he will. Taehyung’s stomach feels like bursting and is convulsing constantly in a weak attempt to get him to relieve himself of the pressure, how he is going to fit more of your cum inside is a mystery to him but he wants it so bad. He fucked you delirious and in the process ruined himself as well. He needs to have one more.

“Tae, I have to- it, it feels like pee a-again.”

“You just want to squirt. It’s okay, don’t fight it”, he assures you, adding the most desperate of “please”.

“No. No, this doesn’t f-feel like squirt, Tae ah.”

“It’s okay. It’s okay no matter what it is.”

“I can’t stop it.”

“Yes, please.”

“Tae, oh god”, you croak and then the pressure in your lower stomach bursts for the last time. You relieve yourself inside him in spurts of liquid, translucent cum. It feels so good. No words on earth could ever be enough to describe how good it feels to let all this pressure just explode.

“Thank you”, Taehyung keens and arches his back. He stills completely, “oh god, you’re making me squirt too”, he mewls and releases all over your torso in hot spurts of translucent goodness.

Taehyung is a gentleman. He likes cleanliness and is never dirty. So why. Why is it that whenever you and he fuck, you end up so fucking dirty and disgusting? Truly it is a phenomenon unable to be explained and a sensation so addicting you wish to never stop experiencing it. 

He drops to his elbows, rocking his hips gently so you could share in the afterglow. You finally begin feeling the fire die down in your cock. This must be how softening feels like. 

“Tae”, you whimper.

“I love you”, Taehyung squeaks out, trembling on you.

“I love you too”, you sob, hugging him tightly, “oh god. Oh god what just happened?”

“I know, I can’t hold myself for long.”

“It’s okay, just drop.”

Taehyung trembles and drops down onto you, blanketing you under his weight. His hole pulsates rhythmically as his orgasm dies down slowly. You continue throbbing as you finally begin softening.

“You did so well”, Taehyung whispers, hugging you against him, “I’m so proud of you, my sweetest darling.”

“Tae, I’m happy.”

“I’m happy too, my darling. So happy”, he says and then silence surrounds you.

You couldn’t possibly talk more. You are done for. Taehyung feels the same. It’s always like this with you and him. You get lost in the sex you are having and it ends up ruining both of you to the point of non-verbal cuddles and fights for air.

Taehyung recovers quicker than you, sitting up slowly. Your arms glide from his body and just kind of drop into the sheets. You don’t fix them, letting them lie where they first land. Your eyes race between the others’. His hair is messy, hanging into his features. He smiles. You retort it weakly.

“How was that for your first time?” he asks.

“You’re going to kill me one day”, you whisper in a croaky voice.

He chuckles, “does this mean that you liked it?”

You nod your head, rolling it to the side afterwards. You close your eyes in flutters.

“I’m fucking dead, holy fuck this actually just happened.”

“Mhm yes, it really did”, he snickers, “do you want to see something very sexy?”

“Yeah, as long as you’re not going to touch my cock again. It might fall off you do.”

“No”, he laughs, “no, I promise I won’t. Look at my butt.”

“Alright?”

You shift your eyes to it. He lifts himself off your cock. It flops onto your stomach weakly. He positions himself above it and then seems to relax his muscles. What looks like liters of cum runs out of him in a steady stream.

“Oh god”, you croak, propping yourself up on your elbow.

“It doesn’t stop”, Taehyung says and giggles, pressing his hand against his stomach to squeeze out even more of it. It is running down on each side of your stomach by now, soaking the sheets.

“This is so hot, Tae. Oh god, did I do that?”

“You did”, he says and sighs, “it hurt so much to have all of this inside. I was so close to bursting.”

“Holy cow. This is….fuck, this is hot.”

It finally stops, trickling out of him in an uncoordinated rhythm.

“Ah hm”, Taehyung hums, trembling a little, “empty. Heh.”

“Seriously, if you didn’t ruin me as hard as you did, I would have flipped you and fucked you senseless right now”, you murmur and writhe, “oh god, it’s everywhere though. And so warm”, you whine.

Taehyung laughs, nodding his head, “I know. So messy”, he sits down on your stomach, getting his ass dirty as well. His weight feels so good on your cock. Warm and not at all uncomfortable. He cups your cheeks and pulls you into a kiss.

You hook your arms behind his head, letting him pull you up until he sits on your lap and your chests are melted into one. It spreads the mess everywhere, but it’s already too late to care about that. You’ll just have to take a shower later.

“Holy fuck, I love you so much”, Taehyung whispers between kisses, “if the world ever stops turning, I’ll push her myself just so I can give myself more time with you.”

You giggle, letting him kiss you all over your face with your eyes closed in happy bliss.

“I love you too, Tae. So much.”

[bebejungkook]

‧✧̣̇‧ Punishing You

‧✧̣̇‧ Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

‧✧̣̇‧ Genre: Yandere au, ceo!taehyung, pre-dilf!Taehyung.

‧✧̣̇‧ Warnings: yandere themes, possessive and obsessive Taehyung, punishment, guilt tripping, taehyung loves revenge, mentions of bullying, fights, dead mice and hurting someone, mild bondage, unprotected sex, cock warming, mentions of blood, vibrator, I think that’s it lmk if I’m missing anything!

‧✧̣̇‧ Summary: You always try your best to follow Taehyung’s strict rules and schedules, but sometimes you make mistakes. Taehyung understands, but he won’t let you off so easily.

‧✧̣̇‧ Word count: 3.4k

Besties let’s all remember this is fiction and I absolutely do not condone any actions done by these characters!!!

Reblogs highly appreciated 🫰🏽

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The day Taehyung first laid eyes on you, he made a promise to keep you safe from the world around you. You were so beautiful in his youthful eyes, but so naive and shy. You swung back and forth on the creaky swing set like an angel his grandmother told stories about. He felt you were his only means of salvation, and he would do anything to keep his angel safe.

As you two grew older, he kept his promise. Taehyung was by your side everyday, your parents didn’t mind, he had charmed his way into their hearts and gained their trust since he was your only friend. But they never saw the darkness in his eyes like you did.

They found it cute that he would braid your hair or read poems to you, but they missed how he would sneak dead mice into your bullies lunches or beat the boys that made you cry, to a pulp. And after each incident he would sneak into your room and whisper a soft,’ I took care of it,’ against your neck.

You accepted it, not wanting to find out what he did, so you’ll turn a blind eye and bury your worries in the warmth and safety of his arms.

There was no denying that Taehyung loved you with every fiber of his soul. You are his God and he is the devote that worships the very ground you walk on. Even in marriage he still spends hours worshiping you until he re-memorizes every little inch of skin his fingertips can touch. He inhales the scent of your skin until he suffocates in it, almost like a taste of heaven.

Taehyung lives for you and he would die for you, and there was no limit to what he would do to keep you safe in his arms. He had to teach the world what would happen if they hurt you, it would have to feel the pain it made you feel. But as much as he loved you, you were not spared from his lessons or punishments.

His devotion to keeping you safe created strict schedules and rules that you needed to follow. You never minded them, he planned every detail out based on your hobbies or your favorite shops, it was fairly easy to keep to them. You learned the hard way though, as precise he is, you would still have to be diligent and take care of yourself when he is not around.

No matter how careful you are, you are bound to make mistakes, and no matter how tiny those mistakes were, you were going to get punished for them.

That’s how you find yourself now, hands tied behind your legs, holding them up so he can fuck you as hard as he wanted. He has that stupid vibrator that you loathe, pressed tightly right up against your swollen clit. You shiver but Taehyung fucks hard, like he’s trying to force your orgasm and you realize what your punishment is going to be— he was going to force as many out of you as he could. He’s already made you cum from riding his face and fingerfucking you into oblivion, but he wants so much more.

Taehyung sees tears starting to swell in your eyes, his heart skips a beat but he’s not letting you off so easily. Instead he leans back and watches as his cock slips out of your pussy, wet and sticky and craving to be filled up again. He rests his heavy cock against you as he unties the belt around your wrists. He doesn’t give you enough time to collect yourself since he’s spreading your legs and laying in between them now.

Your eyes sting but they stay open, he’s too beautiful to look away. You feel a sudden rush of love and guilt in your chest, but Taehyung’s eyes stay dark and lustful as he presses his body tightly against your own. He grasps your hands and holds them above your head. You stay put, obedient as ever as he ties the belt around them and securing them to the metal of the headboard.

“How many times have I told you to be careful?” He whispers against your jaw but then presses his tongue to your neck just to hear you gasp. He continues to wet your neck until you feel his teeth against your skin. He doesn’t bite down as hard as you thought he would but it still makes you wince and cry out softly.

“Answer me y/n.” He grunts.

“A-A lot of times—“

“Almost every day right?”

“R-Right.” You whimper when you hear muzzled buzzing again.

“Yet you still don’t listen.” You feel the vibrator before you see it. He has it pressed against your nipple, tracing it against your breasts, leaving them as wet as your aching cunt. You choke on your own spit from the sensations. You’ve always been sensitive, something Taehyung really loved finding out about. But now you curse your sensitivity.

“You’re not being a very good girl,” Taehyung mouths against your breasts,” you’re being bad.”

That triggers something in you, you feel tears welt in the corner of your eyes at the thought of being a bad girl. You always tried your hardest to be good for Taehyung. You liked being good, being good earned you gifts and trust. Being bad earned you a sore throat and disappointment. Being good was the least you could do, and it was the easiest way to show your own love for him.

“I’m not bad,” you sniffle and your bottom lip quivers,” I tried— I really tried!”

Taehyung scoffs and pinches your nipple until you're whining all over again.

“You need to try harder.” He licks his lips before wrapping his hand around his cock, he positions it against your clenching entrance only to harshly thrust it inside you. He grinds his hips into yours and makes sure to give your clit attention.

“I hate punishing you baby,” Taehyung grunts, lost in the pleasure of correcting you,” but you should have been more careful.”

You absolutely should have been more careful while running your errands that morning. But you just couldn’t help it, you’ve always loved the snow and it had fallen all morning, leaving the city to be blanketed by its serene beauty. You were glad that the route from the bakery Taehyung chose, let you see the snowflakes perfectly.

The pretty rhythm in which they fell lured you into its white dreamlike fantasy. You were too distracted, too entranced and fell into its trap. You held on to your bag of bread as you watched them fall, wishing Taehyung could see how beautiful it was. You pulled your phone out to take pictures but at this point you didn’t see the man that was walking quickly or the patch of ice that sat right in front of you. You were too engrossed in taking pictures for him to notice you were just standing now, completely in the man’s way.

He grunts annoyed and harshly walks right into you, almost as if he wanted to hurt you. His push caused you to slip on the ice, knees hitting the ground roughly and making you fall flat on your stomach. The air is harshly knocked out of you. Your phone and bread land in the snow around you.

“Get out of the way next time, you dumb bitch.” He scoffs and continues on his way.

You wince when you try to stand up, a woman who was walking by helped you as she cursed at the man.

You had tears in your eyes from embarrassment and pain.

You feel your knees shaking as she handed you your phone and helps you pick up your bread, but you’re too emotional to feel the blood that dripped down your legs. You gasp and feel fear strike into your heart when you see it was wet and horribly cracked, there was no way you could check in with Taehyung now.

You thank the lady and say goodbye before walking off to your car. You were shaking, walking fast and trying to catch even just a glimpse of any clock that was near you. The pain in your knees and tummy was nothing compared to the fear in your chest.

You were going to be late.

You didn’t want to think about what would happen if you didn’t check in with your husband and show up late. Seeing your car eased your mind and beating heart, just a bit. You begged your driver to get you home as fast as he could. He understood your urgency, luckily Taehyung hired him based on his accuracy and knowledge of the town. He has helped you get home on time without Taehyung noticing any delays before. So you prayed he could help you today too.

Once he arrived you thanked him a million times, promising to pay for a lovely dinner for him and his wife. You gripped the groceries and wet bread with your dear life. You needed to get to your home phone as soon as possible. Taehyung would count it as a check in and you would avoid his punishment all together.

But as soon as you walked in, you gasped, nearly dropping your groceries as you see him sitting in the dark kitchen as serious as ever.

He’s not supposed to be home for another hour.

Your plan to check in using the house phone was ruined. He looked upset and annoyed.

“Surprised to see me?” Taehyung’s voice was deep and almost sarcastic.

And like prey trying to survive their predator, you stay frozen, waiting to see what he would do.

“I got off early today so I thought I’d come home and surprise you,” His head motions to the living room where there was a big bouquet of flowers sitting on the coffee table,” imagine my surprise when you weren’t here when you were supposed to be.”

Immediately, you pull your phone out showing him and pleading for what felt like hours. You told him every detail about what happened and the descriptions of the people who were involved. You showed him your knees and exaggerated the pain for his pity. He sat on the kitchen table, toying with your broken phone. He hums and tosses it aside, the heavy thud it makes against the table makes you flinch. The whole room is quiet except for the taps his foot makes against the leg of the table. A menacing sound that’s in sync with the beats of your anxious heart.

You know he would never hurt you, you just don’t look forward to his punishments. Taehyung was always a soft lover, except when it came to punishing you. He was consumed with darkness and the need to do right by you, even if you yourself, were the culprit behind your tears. Taehyung was either going to bend you over his knee and slap your ass until it bruised or he would spread you across the table and edge you until you cried. He stands up and very slowly walks towards you, his hands find your waist and he softly kisses your nose, your lips, your shut teary eyes. The soft touches he’s gifting you with, give you hope that maybe he’ll forgive you and coddle you after being shown cruelty from a stranger like that.

But your hopes are shattered when he sighs deeply.

“I still have to punish you, my little dove.” Taehyung grabs your wrists to lead you into the bedroom. You whine so pitifully it almost makes Taehyung get on his knees and swear to find the man that did this and make him feel the pain you felt. But he has to stay strong.

He sighs again and gently kisses you.

“I’m sorry baby.” He whispers against your lips before tearing the front of your dress apart. You close your eyes and let him rip it as if it wasn’t your favorite dress. But you don’t pout too much, he’ll probably have the same one in ten different colors at your feet by tomorrow afternoon.

You learned your lesson two orgasms ago, but you won’t bother telling Taehyung since he’ll go on until he feels you have fully atoned for your mistakes.

Taehyung thrusts painfully slow. The vibrator is still on your nipple, making you shiver with goosebumps. His cock is hard, as if he finds enjoyment in your sins, it pulses and leaks inside you. You can’t help the moans that escape your quivering lips, you just love the way Taehyung feels. It was like his pleasure was rooted in giving you yours, he always knew exactly where to thrust his cock. And it doesn’t help that he has an insane amount of self control when it comes to his own orgasms, he can hold it for hours if it means he can enjoy you longer.

Amazing sex on regular nights but torture during punishments.

Taehyung angles his hips so his cock touches that one specific spot that he knows makes your eyes roll back. He quickly moves the vibrator to your clit, you choke on your spit and pull on your restraints. But Taehyung just smiles and continues fucking you into the mattress.

“T-Taehyung oh my god—“ You’re withering your body the harder he fucks, trying to escape the inevitable orgasm that he’s trying to force out.

“Take it.” He grunts when he feels you practically gushing around him as your orgasm rips you apart, making you gasp for air and fresh tears rush down your blushing cheeks.

Taehyung smirks but doesn’t stop his pace.

“That’s it baby,” He kisses your crying pout,” give me another one.”

“I-I can’t— it’s too much—“ You whine, feeling the comedown of your high bubbling in your lower stomach.

But Taehyung wants more, and whatever Taehyung wants, he gets.

He throws the vibrator to the side in favor of spreading your legs wide open, scraped knees pinned against the bed leaving you completely immobile. You whine in pain from your knees and the stretch he’s forcing your body in, you’ll feel sore for days after this, exactly what he wants.

“Tough, you wanted to be a bad girl, now you have to fucking take it like one.” Taehyung leans over you, hands gripping your knees while putting all his weight in his hips.

The pressure makes you loud and whiny, you’re unable to form any sentences or beg any longer. He’s grunting and huffing as he fucks your clenching cunt with all his energy.

“Come on baby, just one more.” Taehyung bites his lip, he doesn’t let you answer since his finger finds your clit. You’re arching your back, letting him hit deeper in you, which was not a good move on your part. It was exactly what you needed to give him what he wanted.

“Fuck yea,” He moans when he feels you grow tighter,” there it is baby.”

This time its silent gasps and choked moans that you bless him with but you’re squirting all over him regardless. Taehyung doesn’t stop, he just slows down but his lethargic pace feels just as overwhelming. His finger leaves your clit finally, letting you breathe easier now, but he only stops once he feels goosebumps on your skin, and sees shaky arms.

“See?” Taehyung kisses you in delight,” I knew you could do it darling.”

He smirks and you’ve never wanted to smack that smirk clean off his face as much as now. Of course he’s happy even though he’s made a mess of your brand new cotton sheets, blood and cum smeared all over them now.

Taehyung kisses the annoyed knit in your brow and wraps your legs around his waist. He sighs totally and undoubtedly enamored with you, it makes him lose his composure and continue rutting into you. Taehyung loves the way you tighten your legs around him, almost like you want to keep him buried inside you, it snaps him.

“I’m gonna fucking cum.” He buries his face in your neck, kissing your sweaty, sticky skin. Taehyung fucks you a lot softer now but you’re too tired to apprieciate his affection. Instead you close your eyes and let him reach his high.

He cums and you feel it getting fucked into you, a bittersweet feeling since you would feel rather embarrassed getting pregnant because you were being a bad girl.

Taehyung stops once he feels you’ve been filled with him. He’s breathing hard, sweat drops fall from his forehead and onto your own sweaty skin. He’s worked hard fucking you so his cock stays nestled in the warmth and comfort of your walls to reward himself. He reaches to untie your restraints, you slowly rub your wrists and sniffle in pain and shame.

“My Angel…” he cooes and you look up at him, cheeks stained with marks of your tears and rosy cheeks but he feels his heart swell with love for you.

“Come here.” He maneuvers your body so you’re both laying on your side. He makes sure his cock didn’t slip out before gently kissing you. You feel all of his love right there, pressed against your lips, praying his devotion to you. You sniffle again and apologize as best as you could. You tell him you love him and that you’ll be a good girl.

Of course he forgives you, you could never truly do anything worth his anger. You just worry him too much, you always loved the world and would fall victim to its elusive beauty, making you prone to little accidents every now and then.

But it’s okay because Taehyung will always be by your side, protecting you with his life.

A couple hours pass before Taehyung slips out of your embrace to start a bath for you, he carefully wakes you up to carry you. The water is steamy and you crave its warmth. Taehyung sits in front of you, carefully washing your body and praising you. He cleans your knees, kissing your ankles and calves every now and then.

Once you’re all clean, he cups your cheeks to get your attention, your curious glossy eyes meet his.

“You are my only reason to live y/n,” his voice is soft in contrast to his words,” if anything happens to you, I’ll kill myself.”

You feel tears pour down your cheeks at his harsh words. You know he means every bit of it. It scares you, but you’ll just have to be more careful from now on.

You just couldn’t imagine a world without Taehyung in it.

“I’ll be more careful.”

Those simple words mean everything to him, they reassure him and tell him that you love him. Taehyung feels a tightness in his chest, he covers your face with kisses but you bury your face in his neck, the smell of his wet skin calms your beating heart.

The next couple of days are peaceful and back to normal. Taehyung takes you to the park during his lunch so you can admire the winter wonderland. He buys you hot chocolate and lets you take as many pictures and sit on the bench letting the cold nip at your nose for as long as you want. If this is what you want then he’ll endure the cold and boredom of it.

As you stand up to let the snowflakes kiss your skin, he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. An unknown but familiar number with two simple words.

It’s done.

Taehyung hums and shoves his phone back into his pocket. He watches you flutter around exactly like the Angel he saw when he first met you. He smiles to himself, feeling proud that he was able to protect and avenge the love of his life once again. It wasn’t hard finding the man that made you waste tears on him, just a couple hours watching security cameras and a few phone calls here and there.

The problem basically solved itself, an eye for an eye, or in this man’s case, a knee for a knee.

Taehyung watches you more before standing up to rest his chin on your shoulder. His curly hair tickles your cheek and he basks in the music your chuckle creates.

“Are you hungry now my angel?”

You hum,”Yes, can we get ice cream after?”

“Anything for you baby.”

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My first fic after Gym Bunny and my depressive episode, I missed you guys and I missed writing !!! Big thanks to @aris-ink and @aajjks for proof reading and to @justanotherstarlightmonger for giving me the idea to write the punishment scene from the first part, its been a while once you’ve mentioned it BUT HERE IT IS!!!!

Also yes I’m begging, please tell me what you think of this one since I’m trying new things and any feedback would really help🖤

Love, Che

Also to my permanent Taglist, please lmk if you still want to be tagged in future works😅 I’ll be uploading a lot more 🫰🏽

@azula-karai-27

Permanent 🏷: @oliviam008 @hollyweird0 @sweetestofchaos @borahaerhy @babygirl-panda19 @kooluver @renaefraser @lovelgirl22 @sexymenandcuteanimals101 @heyjiminnie @swweetnightt @marvelahsobx @little-body-big-mess @cherryblosom73 3 @shine-your-light @haliiimede @notlivingsstuff @linahopee @havetaeminforbreakfast @hey-itslulu @fa1ryjoons @nomunamuinmybrain @axigailxo @skyys-universe @keniaq @kawaiikels @exactlyfuriouscoffee @thvhoe @queen-in-the-shadows @bbyhoneysuga @bri-mal

[bangtangalicious]

Can I request a drabble w Tae where the reader is innocent and she approaches him saying she couldn't sleep or smthing? And tae fingers her shdhfhfiioj . And she has no clue of his intentions?👉👈 I really enjoy your smut fics sm!

pairing: taehyung x reader

tw: 18+ only, smut, fingering, praise, manipulation

His eyes swept over you, trembling in the cold midnight air. Nipples taught against the flimsy oversized t-shirt you had on.

You blinked at him, wide eyes without a taint of judgement. "I can't sleep" The pout on your lips, delectable.

Sighing deeply, Taehyung crawled into your bed. Not minding the heat that seared through his skin as he came into contact with you.

Legs tangling with yours.

Were you not wearing panties?

He cursed.

His fingers caressed the top of your head when really he wanted to dip them into your sweet little cunt. You would like that, wouldn't you? Why else would you invite him into your bed like this, legs spread, so eager?

His teeth dug into his lips, you were too innocent to realize what you did to him. It wasn't his fault! He was a wretched man, he only had so much self-control.

"Can't sleep, huh?" He whispered darkly, pulling you closer. Tracing the tops of your thigh.

You giggled, pressing your face into his chest. "Tae, w-what, that tickles!"

He shushed you. Lips dusting over yours with a stern look in his eyes.

"Close your eyes"

He watched you gulp with unease. "Taehyung--"

"Close them"

You did. He watched your lids flutter shut as his fingers trailed up, brushing against your clit. A shaky breath left your lips, goosebumps all over you as his dark whispers pressed behind your ear.

"Shh, just relax" His voice was incredibly deep. Vibrating straight to your core. He smirked, feeling your wetness against the pads of his finger. Drawing soft, gentle circles into you.

Without warning he slipped one finger inside. Easily, a soft squelch making him shudder with need. He could feel your heat clench. You were so tight, but that didn't stop him from sliding in one more.

Unknowingly, you spread your legs wider. Wanting to feel his fingers even deeper. He drew them out. Slid them back in. A soft rhythm, burning through you.

"Just like that, good girl" His breath was hot against you. Thumb resting on your clit as he continued to fuck you open with his fingers. "So fucking wet for me baby"

You gasped. Letting Taehyung know you were far from asleep. He scoffed, digging his teeth against your ear.

"Still can't sleep?" He teased darkly. Your eyes flew open, shot with lust. No part of your body was in control as you reached for his face, pressing your lips against his, hard. Desperate. Wanting to swallow him whole.

"Tae" You groaned into his mouth, as his fingers began pistoning even faster.

"My baby gonna come?" He cooed, "Gonna come all over my fingers, hm?"

There was no hiding your moans. The sweet part of your lips as you began to tremble, shocked coursing through your body as you leaked into his palm. He flicked his wrist, guiding you through your orgasm.

"There you go baby, so fucking good" He licked your jaw, aftershocks consuming you as his fingers continued to dig deep.

A wave of ease swept over you. Your eyes finally settling shut. Taehyung kissed you one final time, lips lingering over yours.

"Now sleep, my love" He whispered sweetly, a smile pressing against you. "Sweet dreams"

He knew you had no idea what he had just done to you. But the thought of you wandering to him every restless night begging him to make you come again so you could sleep...

Sweet dreams indeed.

[starbandit]

Drunken Moments (K.T.H)

Requested - Helloooo! I hope you’re doing well.. I saw your post send in reqs. Can I please request something Taehyung x f!reader smut pleeaaase?! Thank you!❤️

contains - daddy kink, spanking, drunken sex, oral (f!receiving), handjob, making out, squirting, unprotected sex, hair pulling, tae lowkey loves praising Y/N MDI!!!! 18+

word count- 1.7k/unedited

The door to the apartment was your biggest obstacle at that moment. It was the only thing standing between you, your boyfriend, and the expansive surfaces to fuck. Your hands shook as you tried to angle the key into the lock. Taehyung had already started, chest pressed to your back as he nibbled on your ear. 

“Fucking-” You groaned as the lock finally gave and you pushed through the door. “Finally.” You both drunkenly stumbled into the house and slammed the door shut. Your purse fell to the floor as Taehyung turned you around to capture you in a messy kiss. You weren’t sure if your head was spinning from the kiss or the amount of alcohol in your system, but either way, you weren’t about to stop. The two of you drunkenly stumbled back to the bedroom, giggling as you both nearly tripped over poor Yeontan.

You fell back against the plush pillows and held your arms out. “Come here,” You whined, making grabby hands towards Taehyung. A smirk painted his face as he nearly jumped on top of you, wiggling in between your legs. He began peppering kisses down your neck, nipping at the thin skin and leaving little red marks. 

You moaned at the feeling and tilted your head to the side to give him more space. “Come on, Tae. Give me more.” You wiggled your hips up, trying to get some friction. 

“That’s not my name.” He growled, biting a little harder. “Tell me my name.” 

Your stomach fluttered. A whine ripped its way through your throat as he licked up the most sensitive spot of your neck. “Daddy, please.” 

He hummed close to your ear. “Good girl.” He whispered, his hot breath tickling your ear. A shiver ripped through your body and your hips twitched up once again, searching. 

Before any words could even leave your mouth, Taehyung had you on your stomach. His hands pulled you up by your hips and pushed the tight skirt you had on to your waist. A large hand made contact with the supple skin of your ass. A low growl sounded from behind you and you arched your back a little more, exposing more of yourself to him. “I’m gonna take my time with you tonight.” He groaned. Another smack landed on your ass. He let his hand rest there for a moment before trailing down, dipping his fingers into your wet heat. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” 

You moaned and nodded into the pillows. 

Another slap. “Use your words.” 

“Yes, daddy.” You moaned. Something about dominant Taehyung did something to you. The feeling of his large hands all over you, the thought of a red handprint still on your ass hours later. You were already nearly dripping and barely anything had happened. 

“Good girl.” He praised once again. You could almost hear the smirk in his voice. “Now, let daddy play with you.” He gripped the waistband of your skirt and pulled it off with one tug. Within a second of your skirt being ripped off, you were flipped back over with your legs over Taehyung's shoulders. His tongue wasted no time in meeting your core.

“Holy shit.” Your hands flew down to tangle in his hair. The alcohol in your system was making everything ten times more sensitive and you were already feeling close from the flicks of his tongue on your clit. Taehyung hummed from his spot, hands coming up to grip your sides. Tiny pants left his mouth as he buried deeper into you, licking every spot available. 

You finally found the strength to lift your head from its place on the pillows. Boy was that a mistake. Your eyes locked with Taehyungs. The pieces of hair you weren’t holding onto were plastered to his forehead. You weren’t 100% sure if that was from you or him, or even a mixture of the two. His eyes were slightly closed, pupils blown, and glazed over. He was still licking at you as if you were his last meal. “O-oh fuck.” Your entire body tensed up, heels digging into his shoulders as your orgasm washed over you. Your entire lower half pulsated as Taehyung continued his work. You squeezed your eyes closed as stars took over your vision. 

Taehyung backed off, resting his head on your sweaty thigh as you came down. Your chest heaved as you took deep breaths. It wasn’t until your breathing returned to a semi normal pace that you dared look back at Tae. 

He had a devious look in his eyes. His head began inching back toward your heat, his breath hitting the outside of your pussy. “I-i can’t.” You whimpered. 

“You will.” He shifted your position, pulling your body closer to him and off the pillows. “I told you I wanted to take my time with you.” His mouth made contact with your heat again and you dropped your head to the pillows with a moan. 

By the time Taehyung had decided he was bored, your legs felt like jello and you weren’t sure you could form a coherent sentence. You weren’t certain how much time had passed, but it was definitely well over an hour he spent just eating you out. He had thrown his fingers into the mix at some point as well. 

“So good for me, my pretty girl.” He stroked your hair and pushed the sweaty strands out of your eyes. “Do you want to keep going?” 

Even though you couldn’t remember your own name, you knew for a fact you weren’t going to turn down sex with Taehyung. “Please, Daddy.” You whined as you lifted a shaky hand to pull him closer. 

“Anything for you.” He smiled before leaning down to kiss you. You two continued like this for a while. His hands gently caressed the softest parts of your body, over your back, breasts, hips, everywhere. You found yourself lost in the softness of his mouth. The soft lips that were slick from your wetness, the way your flavor mixed with the flavor of alcohol and mint in his mouth. It was intoxicating. Your hands found their way to the waistband of his pants. You fumbled with the button for a moment before sliding your hand in to grip his cock. 

A hiss left his lips as you made contact with him. Precum had soaked his boxers and was now dripping down your fingers as you slowly jerked him off. You set a sloppy pace, silently blaming it on the pants he still had on and the burn of alcohol in your system. Taehyung didn’t seem to mind though. His fingers dug into the flesh of your hips as he whimpered into your mouth. 

“Fuck.” He groaned, head lolling back. His hips twitched forward into your hand as you rubbed your thumb over the tip of his cock. “Fuck, Y/N,” His voice sent tingles down your spine to your pussy. You squeezed your legs together as he continued to let out deep groans. 

Taehyung let out one last groan before grabbing your wrist, halting your motions. “As much as I love this, I would rather cum in your pussy.” He caught you in a harsh kiss before pulling your hand out of his pants. He lazily rolled off the bed and began to strip, honey skin glowing in the dim light. 

“What are you waiting for?” He questioned. You scrambled to get up and into position. You got on your hands and knees, presenting yourself to Tae. You caught the smirk on his face as you glanced over your shoulder at him. “That’s a good girl.” 

He gripped your hips as he pulled you closer to the edge of the bed. Your knees sat at the edge of the bed and Taehyung slotted himself into the space between your legs. A hand came to rest on your back, pushing you deeper into the sheets until your upper body was almost completely on the bed. “That’s it…” His other hand wrapped around his cock and he began rubbing the tip along the wetness that was collecting between your legs. 

“Daddy,” You whined. “Please. I want it.” A moan ripped through your throat as he pushed into you with no warning, instantly bottoming out. He was pressed into just the right spot, one that sent waves through your tummy. You clenched around him, moaning as he wiggled a little deeper. 

“Ready, pretty girl?” He gathered your hair from around your head into a makeshift ponytail, pulling it back. “Bounce on it.” 

You rocked your body back as Taehyung thrusted, meeting him back in a messy rhythm. His hand tightened in your hair, using it as leverage to keep you bouncing on his cock. Your hands gripped at the sheets as he hit every spot, the drag of his cock causing your eyes to roll back. 

It wasn’t until he let go of your hair that your upper body crumbled into the bed. Drool slowly fell onto the sheets from the corner of your mouth as Taehyung continued to thrust into you. Everything felt so good, almost too good. Moans were pushing their way out of your throat with every thrust. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” You buried your face into the sheets as a moan ripped through you. Taehyungs assault on your g-spot had finally caught up and you found your legs shaking as you orgasmed yet again. 

You pulsated rapidly around Taehyung, squeezing his cock. You could feel warmth growing all around your pussy and lower stomach, and then it happened. Warm liquid soaked the sheets, your legs, and Taehyung's crotch. A loud moan sounded from behind you.

“Holy shit.” His hips twitched forward as he released. He gave a few more thrusts, milking himself through his orgasm. “Fuck, you just squirted all over me.” 

You whimpered as he pulled out. You collapsed onto the bed, groaning at the soreness in your hips and lower back. Taehyung made quick work of cleaning you up with the tissues on the bedside table, whispering small apologies as you hissed at the roughness. 

Soon enough, he collapsed onto the bed next to you. You were feeling more coherent again, and found yourself curling up on his chest. His hand came to rest in your hair, massaging your scalp slightly. The two of you sat in silence for a few moments, just soaking in each other's company. 

Taehyung was the first one to break the silence. “So… round two in the shower?”

[yootaesowlwrites]

Until You’re Shaking - Kim Taehyung

W/C: 2.7K

Note: Blank blogs will be blocked. I don’t trust y’all, so make sure you have your age in your bio/desc or something on your blog. Minors DNI.

Prompts: “I never knew you were such a dirty girl / boy.” + “I swear to the goddesses i won’t stop until you’re shaking.”

Warnings: Smut, explicit language, somnophilia (consensual), touching while reader is asleep, light nipple touching, clit stimulation, clit sucking, oral (female receiving), light hair pulling, fingering, cum tasting(?), multiple orgasms, nicknames, unprotected sex(reader’s on the pill), slight overstimulation, aftercare.

Age Warning: I will not take responsibility because you wanted to read this, but if you’re under the age of 18+, DO NOT INTERACT OR READ. Do not take this as educational, this is fiction!

Taehyung lets out a groan as he slowly woke up and stretches slowly, the room was dark from the curtains being drawn, but he could see light coming from it and knew it must have been morning, he turns onto his back and picks up his phone to check the time, quickly seeing it was almost afternoon.

“It’s worth it,” He mutters as he puts his phone back down and turns onto his side to look at you, you had somehow ended up sleeping on your back and the covers had shifted down just below your chest. He lets his eyes roam over your face, taking in how peaceful you look while you were asleep before his eyes slowly begin ascending towards your chest, watching as it slowly rose before falling, he reaches over and presses the back of his fingers against your jaw and slowly glides his hand lower, over your neck and collarbone before moving along your chest and over your breast, he turns his hand over and runs the pad of his fingers over the spot where he knew your nipples were.

He knew your body like he knew the back of his hand by now, he had it memorised by now, and every time he sees you in front of him naked, he falls in love with you all over again and falls even deeper into you when he finds more parts of your body he can kiss and caress. His finger circles around the bud, watching and feeling as it hardens and stands through the shirt, his shirt that you had worn to bed the night before, he takes in a deep breath as he feels something stirring inside him.

“You have just no idea what you’re doing to me, do you?” He mutters. He could see your breathing was slowly deepening the longer he circled his thumb over your nipple. “You, alone, watching you, thinking of you, turns me on too much and all I want to do is make you feel good,” Your body was slowly reacting to what his finger was doing. “You’re always so beautiful and hot…” His hand slowly travels down, moving underneath the covers before cupping your mound and pushing his fingers against your clit. “Sometimes I wonder how I can hold myself back from devouring you with kisses,” He gently presses his finger against your clit before slowly rubbing it.

He could feel blood rushing towards his cock as it hardens, your chest was rising and falling faster as your breathing became heavier, he adds a finger and gently massages the nub, your hips gently jerk at the feeling and a soft moan soon falls from your lips, your head moves against the pillow as your body was responding to him.

“Let me taste,” He mutters and pulls his fingers away, he moves underneath the covers, carefully pushing your legs apart and settling between them, one hand grips your thigh as he lifts your leg over his shoulder. “Fuck, I can smell you already,” His nose presses against your panties before he licks a stripe along your panties. “Hmm, so good already,” He uses his fingers from his other hand to spread your folds, pushing your panties against your clit before pressing his tongue against your clit.

“Taehyung!” You gasp as you wake up. You lift the covers and find him between your legs, his hair messy and his cheeks flushed and his eyes dark with lust. “Fuck,” His tongue swirls over your clit through the fabric again, and you could feel your insides tightening as a slow orgasm was building. His hand grasps your thigh tighter, his fingers digging into the flesh. “I never knew you were such a dirty boy,” You reach down with one hand and grip onto his hair, the covers dropping as you do. You gasp as you feel his lips wrapping around your clit through your panties, and he gently sucks on the nub. “Oh, oh, fu-fuck, Tae…” Your lids flutter as you feel tingles going up your spine. You could feel your panties becoming wetting from not just your juices but his saliva also. “Tae… Oh, my… T-Tae,” His hand caressed your thigh as he held onto it, keeping you from pulling away, not that you were going to.

You could feel his nose brushing against your inner thigh as he turned his head to try and get a better angle of your clit, and fuck, just feeling his hot breath against your skin, especially there, was making your mind spin. You gently tug at his hair and your hips lift slightly, needing more of the feeling he was giving you.

“Mo-more,” You mumble. Your skin felt on fire, and you were starting to sweat from how hot the room was and how it was becoming between your legs. “I need more,” You feel his mouth disappear from your clit and moments later you feel his tongue gliding along your folds before stopping once he reached the crease of your inner thighs.

“I swear to the goddesses, I won’t stop until you’re shaking,” He mutters as he pushes your panties aside. His hot breath hitting your clit causes your back to arch for a few seconds, his nose brushes against your mound before you felt his lips wrap around your clit.

“OH!” You loudly moan, your eyes shut at the sensation that goes through you like lightning. “Oh, my fucking…” You could feel the tip of his tongue pressing against your clit as he sucks on it. “Gosh, Tae-Taehyung…” Your thighs push against the side of his head, and you feel his hand on your thigh sliding higher to grip the crease of your hip. “O-oh,” You feel his fingers slipping against your entrance and press against it, a faint squelch sound reaches your ears. “Oh, fuck,” You were certain it wouldn’t take long for him to uphold his promise about having you shake with pleasure. “Fuck,” His fingers massage against your entrance, threatening to slip in every few times as he pressed down.

“Hmm, hmm,” He hums against your clit, your eyes roll to the back of your head before your lids fall shut in pleasure. The vibrations from the humming were reaching deep inside you and causing the tension to build more and more, and you swear it was close to snapping. “Hmm,” Your toes curl, and you bend one leg to press your heel into his shoulder.

“Tae…” You gasp out. Your upper body turns sideways as you felt your high getting closer and closer. “Oh… my…” His fingers slowly push into you, stretching your walls and stimulating them. “Fucking… Tae,” You probably sounded so desperate for him, but you didn’t care. His fingers curl inside you, and you feel how close they were to pressing into your sweet spot. “Fu- fuck,” You could see specs of dust floating behind your lids, your mind was overflowing with pleasure. His fingers turn inside you and your back arches as your upper body falls flat against the mattress. “TAE!”

“Hmm-mmh,” He hums once more. You almost sit upright at the pleasure that shoots up your spine, his fingers were brushing against your sweet spot, and you could feel your high approaching quickly.

“Oh, my, oh, my…” You chant out. The specs of dust behind your lids quickly turning into stars, and you could feel your entire body starting to tense up. “Oh, fuck… oh, go—OH!” Your head presses hard into the pillow as a sudden bolt of pleasure spreads through you, your mind slips into the clouds as it feels like your body had started to float. “OH, OH, FUCK, TAEHYUNG!” His fingers massage your walls as you release around them, while he continues to suck your clit, easing you through your high. “FUCKING GOSH!” Your other hand reaches up to grip onto the pillows to try and ground yourself. You feel the covers being pushed off your lower half and a sudden rush of cold air blows against your hot sweaty skin. “Fuck, Tae, Tae, Tae,” Your grip on his hair loosens, and you bring your hand to your own hair. “Shit…”

You slowly come down from your high, your breathing was hard, and you could feel your muscles feeling like jelly as they buzzed from the orgasm you had, you knew it wasn’t over, and he would try for another round until you were literally shaking for him. You slowly open your eyes as you felt his lips peppering soft kisses on the crease of your hip, his hand that had gripped onto you now rested only rips after he had ripped the covers off. His eyes were still dark with lust, and his hair was even messier than before.

“How are you feeling?” He mumbles. “And good morning,” You lick your lips, almost wanting to laugh. “How did you sleep?” His fingers were gently tracing over your skin, your walls pulsed, and you quickly felt his other fingers were still inside you and that your leg had been lifted off from him and was layer on the bed now.

“What a good morning,” You breathe out. “I slept okay, I had a dream when I was waking up…” He hums, and you could see a smirk starting to pull at his lips. “But when I woke up, it wasn’t a dream, it was much better than the dream… and it felt good, it felt really good…” He nods and kisses his way towards your belly button before lifting his head once he couldn’t touch your skin anymore and hovers over you.

“It felt good?” He mutters. His hand on your ribs move to press into the mattress to keep himself just above you. “It felt good hearing you moan my name in pleasure,” He dips his head lower. “But you’re not shaking yet, are you?”

“I’m close…” You whisper, staring into his eyes. Your legs twitch as you feel his fingers wiggle inside you, just that slight movement had caused your insides to start tightening again. His face was inches from yours, and you could practically smell yourself on his lips.

“I want to be inside you when you shake,” He whispers before pushing his lips against yours, your eyes shut as you could taste yourself on his lips and reach up to run your fingers through the back of his hair before tangling your fingers in them. His palm presses against your clit, and you feel his fingers begin to move inside you again.

“Hmm,” You moan into his mouth. You lift your leg and wrap it around his waist, pressing your heel into his lower back. “Hmm,” His fingers slip deeper into you and your back arches as you feel them reach your sweet spot. “OHH!” He breaks the kiss just as you let out a loud moan, your walls pulse, and it felt like your clit had gained a heartbeat as he rubbed his palm against the nub. “Tae… Tae…”

“It feels like you’re shaking beneath me already,” He says. His lips press against your jaw, and he kisses down, pausing at your neck to leave several kisses behind on it. “Are you going to be my good girl?” His tone was low, and it was right beside your ear, a shiver runs through you at the feeling of his hot breath fanning against your ear.

“Taaaeeeeee,” You whine. Your high was building faster than your first one, your muscles felt shaky already. “Fucking shit,” You turn your head to the side, giving more space and access to your neck, your other hand wraps underneath his arm, and you place your hand flat against his back before sliding your hand up and grabbing onto the back of his shoulder. “Oh… Ohhh, hmm uhh,” Your toes curl, and you feel your hips lift off the bed, his palm presses harder against your clit as his fingers massage your sweet spot. “FUCKING GO- TAE!” Before you could prepare yourself, your high crashes into you and you come undone.

“That’s it, that’s my girl,” He mutters as he leaves another kiss behind on your neck. “Make a big mess for me,” It felt like your entire body was shaking uncontrollably beneath him, and he could feel it, he absolutely loved having you shake from pleasure. “Give me a few seconds,” You let out a whine as you feel him pull his fingers from you, your hands tighten around him when you feel him starting to pull away, only for him to pause.

“Tae, fuck, don’t pull away,” You mutter, completely lost in the pleasure you were feeling. “OH!” You didn’t even feel him push his boxers down, but you sure did feel when his cock pushed past your folds and pushed against your entrance.

“You’re so wet…” He groans before slowly pushing the tip of his cock into you. Your lips part and you take in an inaudible gasp as he slowly fills and stretches your walls. “Oh my fucking fuck,” You could hear grunts and groans from him as your walls practically swallowed him in.

“Tae, fuck, I’m…” Your words get caught off as you gasp, you could already feel another high building, and it would take long before it would crash into you. “Tae… fuck, Tae…” Your walls pulsed around him, and you hear him groan before his head moves between the crook of your neck again.

“You feel so good…” He groans into your neck. “Fuck, how am I supposed to last when you feel like this?” He slowly lifts his hips, and you feel your walls pulsing at the stimulation, your grip on his shoulder was slipping from the sweat, you could feel the shirt you wore sticking to your skin.

“TAAAEEEE,” You whine as another high crash into you, you weren’t sure how much your body could take as he was slowly rocking his hips into yours, easing you through your high while slowly building up to his own. Your mind was filled with the pleasure you were feeling, and your body felt like it hadn’t stopped floating since your second high hit. “Tae… fucking, Tae…” You manage to lift your other leg and also wrap it around his waist, making him groan as he feels the shift around his cock.

“Fuck, you, it, everything… feels so good,” He groans. Your walls felt sensitive, and you could already feel another orgasm building inside you, the heartbeat inside your clit was beating erratically, and fuck, your body felt absolutely on fire, especially the places he was touching you. “Fuck, you’re milking me…”

“F-fuck, Tae…” You gasp. You could feel his hips slowly speeding up, the stimulation to your walls was making your mind spin even more, and the stars behind your lids exploded. “TAE!” You hold onto him, it felt like everything of yours was shaking as your high was approaching with a rate of not, before you knew it, your mind fell blank from the pleasure and for a moment you thought you had blacked out.

“Fuck, fuck, you feel… fuck, taking me so good…” He grunts above you, you feel him grab onto your hand and squeeze it before feeling his hips rut into yours before stopping. “Fuck, oh, fuck yes,” You felt his muscles twitch as he pressed his stomach against yours, and his cum spills into you as he breathes heavily into your ear, your body was buzzing from the pleasure you had been put through, and it felt like you had no energy left at all. “So good, and all mine,” You feel his grip on your hand tighten before you felt his other arm slip underneath you, and pulls you on top of him as he rolls over, keeping his cock inside you. Both of you breathe hard as you take a moment to let everything sink and cool down. “Are you alright?”

“Hmm,” You hum, trying to search for some energy to properly answer him. Because you were alright more than alright. “I… hmm,” He chuckles and gently rubs his hand up and down along your back.

“Did I go overboard?” He asks. “I feel like I did since you can barely answer me,” This time it was you who chuckles, but he could hear how lazy it sounded when you did. “I should make us some tea…”

“It was good,” You whisper. “Maybe a little overboard, but it was you,” He smiles up at you and lifts his head to gently kiss your forehead, you turn your head and quickly make yourself comfortable on top of him, and with his heartbeat right in your ear, it was a perfect lullaby to lull you back to sleep.

[taetaespeaches]

“Begging already?” 

taehyung x reader/oc genre: fluff word count: 1.7K 

a/n: Hi lovelies! Long time no see :) I got a nightmare before christmas version of the game operation and this idea came to mind... I wrote the majority of it back in august and am now randomly deciding to post. If anyone even cares!!! I hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading :))

Thunder rumbled quietly outside as the candlelight illuminated the kitchen, and while the power outage may have helped Taehyung set the mood, you determined he had a charming ability to make any scenario feel romantic. The room was bathed in warm, flickering, golden hues, the low lighting casting shadows across Taehyung’s handsome face, revealing his features only in small glimpses as he shifted around the childrens game positioned in front of you both. Your boyfriend would have been a 19th century romantic writer’s dream, his bone structure providing an air of austerity while his sweet heart doled out love onto every living thing in his vicinity. The ultimate muse. 

His freshly dyed blonde hair was too enticing for you to resist reaching out and brushing your fingers through the soft strands. He leaned into the touch, despite the tweezers reaching in for a plastic spider within Oogie Boogie’s burlap body. While out and about a couple weeks ago, you and Taehyung came across a Nightmare Before Christmas edition of the classic Operation game. Instead of collecting various bones from the man’s body, you were tasked with digging bugs and other creepy items out of the movie villain’s burlap form. 

“You’re gonna make me mess up,” Taehyung complained halfheartedly, looking up at you from underneath the gold metal rim of his glasses.Truly swoonworthy. You were seated cross-legged on top of the counter, admiring the way Taehyung’s forearms rested against the granite as he leaned over the game board. Flashing him a smile, you watched as his own lips curved upward before turning his attention back to the game. 

You were supposed to be on a date tonight, the dinner reservations made last week. When the storm, followed by the power outage, struck, Taehyung quickly adjusted. He pulled together every candle within the apartment and put them all in the kitchen, stating that “the kitchen is the most romantic room in the house”. Whether you believed that prior to his comment or not, you were now convinced. Who were you to argue with an expert in romance? People wrote great romantic novels about him, after all. 

It had been at least fifteen years since either of you had played Operation, and memory had led you both to believe the game was much more challenging than it really was. Taehyung successfully removed the spider and placed it to the side of the board, restarting his collection after two rounds of play already. Neither of you had failed an operation yet, causing for a very un-suspenseful game. 

“I remember this being a lot more difficult when I was six,” you smiled, Taehyung chuckling as he transferred the removal tool to you. Placing his palm on your knee cap, he squeezed gently before swiping his thumb along your thigh. 

His tongue poked out before grazing over his bottom lip, lingering for a moment until his mouth spread into a stunning smile. “We could make it more exciting,” he suggested flirtatiously. Pulling your eyebrows together, you watched as mischief flashed across his pretty eyes. “Every time one of us misses, we take something off.” 

“What, like strip Operation?” You snorted, massaging the roots of his hair. Taehyung wore an expression of pure excitement, eyes wide, beam wider. It was cruel, and enchanting, how he could use that innocent charm in sinful ways. “Fine,” you agreed with a smirk, pulling your hand from his hair and turning your attention to the board. Easily, you removed the bat and placed it on top of the counter, defiant in your refusal to give him what he wanted. 

Meeting Taehyung’s eyes, you found his features positioned into a disappointed pout. “Looks like your plan has been foiled,” you smiled in amusement, Taehyung taking the tweezers from you. “We literally haven’t missed—” 

You were cut off by the sound of Oogie Boogie yelling about people fishing around in his body, startling you as your eyes darted to the board to see it lit up with failure. 

“Oh, shoot,” Taehyung said teasingly, tsking at himself. In the next moment, with a smirk planted on his annoyingly pretty face, he reached for the shirt at the nape of his neck and tugged it over his head, leaving him beautifully topless. “Your turn,” he smirked teasingly, and for a moment you damn near tugged your own shirt off before you remembered there was a game in play. It wasn’t Operation that you were suddenly determined to win, but rather the game of desire versus desire that you did not want to lose. Taehyung had always been the king of self control and making him lose his composure was always the sweetest victory. It was magical, the moment he’d snap, witnessing him beg. 

Biting back your amusement, you leaned into the board and began your attempt to remove the snake that Taehyung failed to. With his eyes on your task, you snuck a glance at his shoulders just barely highlighted in the candle’s flickering. He was sturdy and broad, but somehow still delicate, and the orange flame enhanced the tan he had gotten on his recent work trips, the Spanish beaches suiting him well. His eyes lifted to meet yours, snapping you back to the game as you concealed a knowing smile at being caught staring. 

Shifting focus, you ignored his cocky chuckle. “This is one of the easiest pieces, you loser,” you teased, feigning obliviousness to his strategic loss. As you slowly pulled the piece out of the game board, Taehyung suddenly squeezed your thigh with a loud shout that purposefully made you jump in start. The tweezers hit the metal siding, sending Oogie Boogie into a fit, alerting you that you had failed the operation. 

Clutching at your chest, you huffed. “Foul play!” You complained to Taeyung as he smiled impishly at you, his tongue tucked slightly between his teeth as he celebrated his small win. Biting back your own amusement, you picked up the sheet of paper with the game rules and started studying them with fake seriousness. 

“What are you looking at?” He craned his neck, attempting to peek over at the rules. 

Pulling it out of his view, your lips lifted into a smirk. “I’m looking for what it says about your supposed lover cheating to get you naked,” you informed him, noting the scoff that escaped his lips. “Surely I get a redo or something.” 

An adorable chuckle fell from Taehyung’s soft lips, your heart squeezing at the sound. “No, I’m pretty sure a fail is a fail,” he defended his conniving ways. Shooting him a glare, he giggled a little more. “What’s it say?” He nodded at the rule sheet with a charming lift of his eyebrow. 

“Turns out strip Operation isn’t a real game,” you forced a frown. 

“I’m shocked,” he played along, his eyes widening to emphasize his acting. 

“Yeah, it says that taking your clothes off during play is an inappropriate way to enjoy this board game made for six year olds,” you cocked your head to the side, Taehyung smiling brightly at you, lifting his eyebrows playfully. 

“Really?” He smirked, his gaze glancing down your body, eyeing the oversized sweatshirt that pooled slightly at the tops of your thighs. “I think getting you out of that top is perfectly appropriate.” 

On second thought, the great romance writers of the 1800s wouldn’t have known what to do with Taehyung. You’d like to see Anne Elliot try to resist the man standing in front of you. 

“The game makers disagree,” you told him, though your hands traveled to the hem of the shirt, your fingers toying with the material. “This top?” His eyes lingered on your fingertips, anticipating your next move. His silence, the lack of a comeback, is what gave away how he barely held onto his restraint. The wick of one of the candles popped, the flame flickering across Taehyung’s face to reveal the way hunger had etched its way into his features. These moments, where you held him in the palm of your hand, made the desire to tease him burn inside your abdomen, feeling very much like need. 

Sitting up straighter, you finally lifted the fabric up your body, exposing your stomach, your chest, the flimsy lounge bra hardly concealing anything from his feasting eyes. Pulling the top over your head and setting it down on the counter beside you, your eyes found Taehyung’s as they greedily took in the newly exposed flesh. His hands quickly found purchase on your hips, his fingers cool but not cold as they settled on your sides. 

“Please tell me you’re not gonna make us go through more turns to get the rest of this off,” he pleaded, his thumbs dipping under the material of your cotton shorts. Giggling, you cocked your head in feigned thought as you rested back on your arms, your open palms supporting you against the counter. 

“Begging already?” 

Chuckling at you in disbelief, Taehyung dropped his head against your lap before turning his face to look up at you. “Peaches,” he whined, and it was the smile he wore that told you he believed himself to be a winner, whether he was the first to give in or not. His expression was desperate but knowing, aware he was about to get what he had been deprived of for longer than he would have preferred. 

“You know I’m not too proud to beg,” he whispered, the low timber of his voice making your resolve crumble to his desires. 

Smiling softly at him, Taehyung hugged his arms around your hips before placing a kiss to your thigh, tingles erupting at the spot. “In fact,” he started, only pausing to place another kiss higher up your leg, leaving a trail of anticipation in your nerve endings. “I’ll get on my knees right now.” He was cocky and teasing, but all too serious for your breath not to hitch slightly in your throat. An eager smile spread across his mouth, and you knew that this version of Taehyung, naughty and confident and divinely devoted to you, would certainly have been far too much for the 19th century authors. Eat your heart out, Mr. Darcy.

[muniimyg]

LIKE YOU CARE // KTH

sometimes, you wish he would just confess

+

taehyung can't help but act on his jealousy. you can't help but wonder when he'll ever grow up

navi | m. list | ask me! |

pairing: jealous taehyung + oc (ft. wooshik)

au/genre:

situationship au

one shot

implied smut

warnings:

jealousy

frustrating situationship feels

note: originally posted on @/meowachi ,, revised !!

🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @prdshobi @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @boraength @era-genius @heem145 @4ksj @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns

Almost abruptly, he enters the washroom and shuts the door behind him. His eyes are completely fixated on yours, yet his gaze is so unfamiliar to you. It looks urgent. It looks needy. Like second nature, he locks the door behind him and takes a deep breath in. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Taehyung takes a step towards you and you take a moment to look into his eyes and you see it easily. 

Jealousy. 

Is it toxic to say how much this has become your favourite part of him? 

“I don’t know.. Did I say a punchline?” you ask a little dumbfounded. Though you can tell that he isn’t in the mood to play dumb—which is a first—you love to push his buttons. 

He places his hands on your waist, pushing you against the sink counter. God, he’s so close to you that you can smell the mix of his cologne and sweat. You can’t help but lift his chin and place kisses from behind his ear down to his collarbones. You know he won’t be able to resist you. Not when you act like this. Not when you show him how bad you want him.

“Miss me?” you ask him softly. “Mad at me?”

He huffs. 

You kiss him once on his lips and finally ask;  “want me?”

Taehyung lets out a shakey moan in response. Without warning, you brush your hand against his area and fumble with the zipper. Taehyung tries to focus on the smell of your hair or the smell of your girly body wash instead if his fucking dick.. But you’re wearing his favourite perfume. It’s the same one you wore when you two first met—how could he forget such a scent? Yet, the scent that consumed him entirely is the scent of you. 

Just you. 

And he hates it. 

He hates how it’s practically covered up by whatever cheap cologne the other guy was wearing. Taehyung tries to focus on you. The prettiest girl here. The girl that’s kissing his neck but he can’t—he just feels so off. How do you do this to him? How do your sweet kisses feel against his skin not enough right now? How could only you get him this excited and annoyed at the same time? What was happening to him? He’s not used to this. 

In all honesty, Taehyung has never had to worry about other competitors. Regardless if he was in a talking stage, situationship, or a full-on established relationship—he never had to worry about this.. Or perhaps, he never truly cared if he lost or won the girl. 

He cares now. 

He cares about you.

He knows it because suddenly, he’s picturing it. How other guys were all over you just moments before this. How his eyes darted over to you the moment he heard your laugh echo in the crowd. It made his ears turn red from anger and his ego hurt. It fractured his self-esteem and lit the question: is he enough for you? Because if he was… You wouldn’t feel entertained by other guys, right? Or were you just playing with him? Were you just toying with his feelings for you? To be fair, he never knew how deep they were for you until tonight. 

So, okay. 

Fine. 

You win. 

“___, you’re such a bitch.” Taehyung mumbles as his hands find their way to tug on the hem of your skirt. “Am I not good enough for you?”

“Excuse me?” you laugh, pulling away from him. Maybe you could connect the dots more easily if he gave you more context. What was he saying? Taehyung? The man that’s known to be so confident even in his failures… Is he insecure right now? Over what?

You want to ask. You want to play dumb. You want to explore each reaction he could give you.. But you have a gut feeling that he isn’t in the mood to play games. His signature possessive energy feels off. It’s like he’s scared.

A part of him is. 

He’s too much of a coward to admit how he truly feels. 

Though he had been a lot more demanding with the hookups lately and rather clingy after them—something in you did not expect this kind of behaviour from the campus dream boy. Taehyung had gotten attached and you knew it. 

Tonight was proving exactly that.

He had feelings for you and you knew it. It’s safe to say that you’ve noticed it for a while now and it only made it more difficult not to make the assumption. You only play dumb for his sake. It’s to spare his ego and place the ball in his court. 

The truth is if he wants you; he could have you. He just had to ask. But he doesn’t. Instead, he plays the game like a childish high school boy. So, you’ll wait. 

You’ll wait until he’s man enough to use his words instead of acting like this. 

“That try-hard—”

“His name is Wooshik. Baby, isn’t he in a bunch of your classes? Aren’t you guys in the same friend group as— “

“That kid was literally after you—”

“He’s older than you.”

“That’s even worse,” he says rather sharply. “He was probably looking for someone to fuck and chuck—”

You giggle, interrupting him. “Are you kidding me? He looks so soft and cute! It’s like perfect boyfriend aesthetic—”

“He didn’t even have the decency to ask if you’re even seeing someone!”

There it is. 

It spills out from his lips like he had been holding it all in. He stares at you blankly when he realizes what he said. 

“Am I seeing someone?”

“Whose in front of you right now, ___?” Taehyung answers unimpressed. “Look, it’s not that deep.. It’s just.. You said it would be okay that we’d start talking to each other at parties but you didn’t even last a five-minute conversation with me before you moved on to someone else—”

“Like you care.” 

“So what if I do? Would it bad such a bad thing?”

Then it happens. 

The eager look in his eyes softens. His gaze lowers and you fall into some sort of trance. He looks so angelic. The curves on his face and the way he blinks at you make your tummy turn. Something between you two feels like it’s sparkling and you look at him lovingly. A small smile appears on his face when it registers to him that; no. it wouldn’t be bad. 

“Ohh,” you play along, “my poor baby!”

You fix the strands of his hair and he pulls away from you. The moment passes and you’re back to being a tease. You squish his cheeks and smile at him angelically. “Wooshik was cute, wasn’t he? He had a nice back profile and you know just how much broad shoulders make me feel— “

“I have a nice back profile. My shoulders are literally twice his.” Taehyung takes your hand and places it on his shoulders. You make a face, sighing as you squeeze his shoulders.

“Mhmm.. I don’t know. Wooshik doesn’t seem to be in such a grumpy mood. Maybe I should go back down there and—”

“And what?”

You groan. “Let me finish, Taehyung!”

“Not the first time you’ve said that,” he laughs. You roll your eyes at his immaturity and even hit his chest. 

Now you’re not in the mood.

You should just go back downstairs and enjoy the rest of the party. Who cares about Taehyung? He’s all talk. 

Taehyung is cute and all but he too could be a real piece of shit. It’s odd to say, but this is how you two are. Cat and dog, bickering until it counts. When it does count, suddenly you two are the only one the other wants. With Taehyung, it’s a constant push and pull until one of you gives in. It’s always been like this. 

Maybe, it’s time for a change. 

You lightly push away from him and reach for the door. Without hesitation, he playfully pulls you back to him and presses his body against yours. “Don’t do that,” Taehyung gulps, unsure whether he should stand stronger than this. With the wrong words and the slightest gesture—he could come off desperate. “Don’t be mad at me, ___.”

“I’m not mad at you,” you reassure him. “I just want to go talk to the kid downstairs and ask him if he’s the type to give flowers to a girl—”

“Fuck you.”

“Oh? Please do,” you giggle, pulling him in and crashing your lips onto his. You place your hand on top of where his heart is and feel how fast it begins to beat. It’s a given when Taehyung smiles into the kiss. When he deepens the kiss and you allow so, he thinks of confessing soon. He thinks of what to say and what gesture to pull off later. 

Maybe something with flowers.

For now, kissing you would be his confession. He hopes you know it. 

[kthyg]

ghoul. — (intoxicated) (m)

[FIFTH INSTALMENT OF GHOUL SERIES: INTOXICATED]

"I'll pleasure you like how you deserved."

or

After dinner, Taehyung brought you to his house and took you like you were his.

pairing: taehyung x reader

rating: M for Mature

genre: tokyo ghoul au, soulmate au, smut, gore

disclaimer: this story is a work of fiction. descriptions of the BTS members in this story does not reflect nor portray them in real life. everything in this story only fits in imagination and does not apply outside of imagination.

warning: drugging, non con/dub con sexual activities (oral f receiving, fingering, body worshipping, oc is conscious but not really..., manhandling - softly tho), emotional and sentimental tae also ruthless tae, jimin js wants the best but got hurt instead, there's so much gore in this, cannibalism (heavy on this).

word count: 4.2k+

lexicon & profiles | masterpost | masterlist | navigation

note from winter 💌:

this chapter contains heavy themes :( i do hope you know your triggers before proceeding. i trust u with ur own triggers so pls, read if comfortable, skip if uncomfortable.

💌 what is winter listening to? : consume by chase atlantic ft, goon des garcons

📝 if you want to know more about this au, you can refer to lexicon & profiles. any other questions you can refer to me !!

dedication: sleep demon pt.3

You weren’t his soulmate.

You weren’t his friend.

You weren’t even his acquaintance.

But Taehyung had to call his chauffeur to bring you somewhere – he doesn’t care where as long as you and he were away from the coldness. He had no idea where your house was, and he definitely didn't want to go through your phone just to call your 'soulmates' to ask for your house location. So, he was bringing you to his house instead.

When his driver arrived, he immediately got in and turned the heat up enough to warm you up quickly. As he laid you on his lap, your cheeks were red from the cold breeze outside. His hands found their place on your cheeks as he helped you warm up. Your chest rose and fell slowly and steadily once your body temperature returned normal. Your breathing was shallow, and it made Taehyung panic unknowingly.

Once he was satisfied with the heat of your body, only then did he let go. He detached his hands from your face and stroked your head, occasionally brushing through your hair when he heard you purring in contentment.

You and his other soulmate, Yoongi, would make a great pair, he thought. Yoongi liked whenever his soulmates stroked his hair.

Yoongi’s true persona was Taehyung's hidden persona. The cold and aloof persona. If you could get used to his, you’d have no problem with Yoongi’s. But then why would he even think of getting you into his relationship?

He knew that you and Yoongi hated each other – from Jimin – although you didn’t seem like someone who could hate on someone. From the previous hours of talking with you, he could conclude that you were a soft-hearted person – being obsequious was your nature, not a façade. But that doesn’t make you any less of a great ghoul investigator. You were an excellent ghoul investigator: an investigator that never hesitated to kill any ghoul in the name of duty, the second woman to have made it to Associate Special Class rank – the first one being Jimin’s younger sister, aka your best friend, Rosé, or Park Roseanne or also Park Chaeyoung – you were a very remarkable woman with exceptional skill in KCCG.

You were very impressive for a pure human, and being in the Jeon clan was a plus point – despite being the adopted child. Your background was honestly fascinating to Taehyung. He knew you were not originally from Korea and were from Japan, but he didn’t know how you were brought here, by who, when, or what happened – he wanted to know that.

He better asked his soulmate, then. Jungkook was extremely close to you for all that he knew.

Before Rosé became the first female Investigator of Special Class, almost all the ghoul investigators were males. There were only a few female investigators during her early years in KCCG and before you joined the organisation. The highest most female investigators have climbed in rank was First Class, and they all retired at one point. Still, Rosé broke the record impressively and earned two honourable titles: KCCG's first female Special Class Investigator and Investigator of Special Class.

She was likely to follow her older brother to become the best of the best, especially when her older sister, the first female born in the Park siblings, could not take up the duty of being a ghoul investigator.

There was a reason why most ghoul investigators retired at the rank of First Class. Associate Special Class and Special Class investigators were both difficult to achieve. They required strenuous efforts and great willingness because not everyone would want to dedicate their whole life to their career, especially if they were mediocre. KCCG gave these ranks to the most robust investigators. They could be earned by a person easily or through ten times the hard work to earn First Class. You would be an excellent example of the latter: you have trained for years in the Ghoul Training Academy. Rosé, however, was exempted from training and jumped to the honorary Rank 3. 

Again, there was a reason for it.

She was a half-human.

Every half-human owned superstrength physical capabilities. Since the Kim clan took over KCCG from the Jung, they have exploited half-humans in their best interest in exterminating ghouls. Take three of Taehyung’s clan members: Jin, his older brother; Jisoo, his younger sister; and Mingyu, his paternal half-brother – They were all half-humans.

“We’ve arrived,” the chauffeur announced.

Taehyung acknowledged with a nod as he carefully adjusted his position while trying not to wake you up. The chauffeur opened the door, and Taehyung got out with you in his arms as he made a beeline toward the building entrance. As he walked into the building, the chauffeur watched him with a look that showed Taehyung’s actions and behaviour were highly unusual.

Taehyung has never, ever carried a woman.

Not even the victims of his cannibalism.

And his mannerism around you? That spoke a lot.

He entered the luxuriously fitted building he had been sharing with his soulmates, but most were not around. He knew because almost every floor was devoid of lights, although it was almost midnight; Namjoon was a work freak – he rarely came home. Hoseok was probably settling the uproar at 10th ward with Rosé. Jimin, Jungkook, and Yoongi joined the research about the newly found drug that had been spreading in 21st ward at the KCCG laboratory, and Jin had been staying at the Kim Main House for the past few days.

But even if his soulmates were around, he wouldn’t hesitate to bring you in. He could easily avoid everyone except Jimin because he would always barge into his floor, but that was nothing Taehyung couldn’t prevent. Taehyung stepped into the elevator, and the system automatically scanned his eyes. After successfully receiving the input, the screen showed the floor destination, Taehyung’s floor.

The elevator arrived with a ding, and the door slid open.

The veil of darkness obscured his vision immediately after the elevator’s door closed. He couldn’t bring himself to switch on the main hall's power source because he had already strode down the hallway to his room, clearly not minding the darkness. Once he reached his room, he delicately placed you on his bed and knelt next to the bed, his long fingers ghosting the side of your face. Longingness flashed in his eyes as he rested his face on his arms.

You were so beautiful; had he told you that?

His fingers began to trace from your jaw to your cheek and the bridge of your nose. His thumb caressed your flushed cheek softly as if you were so fragile that one rough touch could break you.

It was weird.

It wa weird that touching you felt so normal.

It was weird that Taehyung felt the need to pleasure you to redeem the hell you’ve been put through.

He heard about the rough training session you and his soulmates had last week. At first, he didn’t care, but now that he had quality time with you, he couldn’t help but feel bad about the rough treatment you received from your superiors. He could still see the scar on your cheek that you had covered with the concealer, which you had undoubtedly gotten from the training. Jimin had been so gracious to bestow him the minute of meeting (or training).

Taehyung rose to his feet and sat next to you. The bed dipped to his side once his weight settled on the soft mattress. His hand travelled from your face to your left lumbar region. From what Jimin had described, he remembered precisely where your wounds would be. He pulled up your shirt to expose your stomach to his eyes. He propelled two fingers as if to inspect an injury on the bruised left side of your waist. A pained moan escaped your lips immediately when he pushed. He didn’t let the pain linger longer as he pulled away to leave the room.

He returned with a packet of pills and a glass of water.

You stirred awake when you felt Taehyung lightly tapping his fingers on your cheek and his voice calling your name. It was no different than when your eyes had been closed; darkness still clouded your vision. You could make out the bedroom layout, the furniture, and Taehyung’s unreadable face just barely because of the enormous window that allowed lights from the bright outside city to illuminate the room.

“Take these,” he handed you a laminated packet of pills. “It’ll help you with the pain.”

You didn’t bother to ask what medicine he handed over as you popped it out of its packet. Taehyung brought a glass of water to help ease the pills' movement into your system. “Thank you,” you muttered groggily.

You weren’t exactly in pain.

What pain did he mean?

"I feel funny." You told him.

You saw his soft smile as he stroked your hair. His voice was mellifluously low as he spoke, “Given that you're drunk and all.”

No, it wasn't just that. Of course, the fact that you were in Taehyung's place, drunk as fuck, and on his bed was already funny. You were slowly losing your senses. What pills did he give you? You couldn't feel your limbs anymore.

"I'm guessing you've noticed it by now."

What?

"Tae–"

He quickly shushed you softly as he continued, “Don’t worry. It’s a temporary effect.” He leaned into your face, his eyes looking at you so… lovingly, so full of emotions. The eyes that had been staring at you with nothing but a dull gaze were now looking at you like you were the only person that mattered. Were the pills harmless even if the effect was only temporary?

His palm cupped your cheek, his thumb caressing so gently, so softly that it almost had you close your eyes to enjoy it. You could feel your body slowly burning up as seconds passed. It must be from one of the pills he gave. You cursed at yourself for being so careless and vulnerable. “I want you to rest properly…”

“While I pleasure you.”

Lost in confusion, you only stared at his eyes, trying to understand his meaning. The question was on the tip of your tongue, but Taehyung didn’t seem like he would answer you as he dived into your neck, inhaling vehemently. His hands glided to your wrists. The feeling of his fingers feathering around your pulse made your heart bloom with warmth, as much as you wished it didn’t. Taehyung locked his fingers around your wrists and pinned them above your head.

Your heart squeezed at his manoeuvring; All of his movement was painstakingly tender that your heart hurt.

His hand pressed on your wrists enough to restrict any movement from you. His dark orbs scanned your flushed face and body as his free hand slithered the curve of your body, “So delicate… My dainty cherry,” purred Taehyung.

Your mind was still hazy from the alcohol; you hadn’t had the chance to sober up properly, not now when Taehyung had given you those pills. You could feel your limbs again, albeit not entirely; they felt heavy. You groaned when you tried to move your arm but stood no chance against Taehyung’s grip.

“You don’t need to move at all, princess,” he told you; his palm cupped your sex, eliciting a gasp from you. “I’ll gladly do all the work.”

His hand reached to deftly undo your pants and the other piece of fabric under them. The cold breeze against your flushed skin felt like nothing when Taehyung covered his hand around the skin of your thigh. His calloused hand stroked your thigh until it reached dangerously near your heat again, making you squirm in response.

“So responsive, aren’t you?” Taehyung cooed. “I barely even started.”

His delicate fingers reached to play with your folds. He spread them and blew air, causing goosebumps on your skin. There was a glint of amusement in his eyes, and you could only think of one thing; you were wet. He traced a finger and dragged it along the line of your vulva.

“Can I kiss you?” He gazed deeply into your eyes. His gaze was nothing short of like a man in love. Whispering, he added, “Please?”

Even so, Taehyung didn’t wait for you to answer as he lowered himself and captured your lips. He kissed you hard, devouring you. His wet muscle intruded your mouth, deepening the kiss. You were out of breath, but Taehyung didn’t seem to care as he continued to fuck your mouth with his hot tongue.

A sharp gasp escaped your lips when you felt digits delve into your pussy. You managed to break the kiss (because Taehyung let you do so), but his lips still hovered dangerously close to yours as he continued to finger you vigorously, forcing moans to spill from your lips. You sobbed uncontrollably when you felt his fingers reach the spot of intense pleasure. Your face was stained with tears and saliva, both yours and Taehyung’s. He sloppily kissed and licked your face while his fingers were inside you, making you a wet, wrecking mess.

“Taking my fingers so well,” husked Taehyung. “Like you were meant for me.”

Moans and whines were spilt uncontrollably from your lips, but they were a beautiful, mellow tune for Taehyung. He got off your pretty voice, crying out his name or just incoherent words.

“Do you like it, cherry?” He asked in between kisses. “Has anyone ever touched you? You’re so tight around my fingers.”

You couldn’t respond to him when you knew this was wrong, but you felt good. You wouldn’t respond to him because it was such a personal question to be asked.

Why would he even care?

If trying to get laid was his objective this whole time, your experience wouldn’t have mattered to him.

You turned your face away from him to avoid any more intimate kissing and licking from him, but, of course, Taehyung wasn’t going to let you. His hand that was on your wrists reached for your jaw and turned you to face him again.

His voice was rough and thick with malice as he rasped. “Answer me.”

“N—No one has ever—” You sputtered.

He seemed satisfied with your answer as he fastened the pace, his fingers abusing your sweet spot, making you see stars. His lips travelled down to your neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses along the expanse of your skin. His hot breath fanned your ears as he whispered silkily, “Cum for me, pretty girl.”

Fire had been pooling in your lower abdomen long enough that when he huskily commanded you, the spring coiled tightly one last time before you shattered around his fingers. Your body dissolved into pleasure as everything cut to white noise, drowning the soft praises that spilt from Taehyung’s lips for you as he slowly pulled out his fingers that were coated with your essence – not before playing with the swollen lips, pushing you to overstimulation and eliciting a string of strangled moans from you.

Taehyung released your wrists, but you made no effort to move them to cover your face even though you desperately wanted to hide your face from his gaze. You could only afford to close your eyes in hopes of passing out – hoping that the veil of darkness would cover you fully, your vision and mind, so you could brush this off as a nightmare. You were embarrassed and humiliated that you had enjoyed having his fingers pleasuring you and giving you an orgasm (after so long). You did nothing to escape him when he had clearly forced his way with you.

Who should you blame in a situation like this?

You almost slipped into unconsciousness when you felt tappings on your cheek, followed by his voice.

“Don’t fall asleep on me just yet,” Taehyung cooed. “I’m not done with you.”

Before you could protest, he turned your body over, stomach flat on the soft mattress and your back exposed to his eyes. His movement was so fast, and you could finally comprehend his true control over you. You tried to turn around again – to push him away. To kick him off you. To do anything to get away from him and this place.

But the Special Class Investigator climbed on top of you as quickly as he flipped you over.

“Tae?” Jimin entered his soulmate’s apartment after he had rung the doorbell and entered the passcode. The first thing he did when he stepped into Taehyung’s territory was to cover his nose. The air was reeking of sex, and there could be only one reason. The space was seemingly endless as no lights were on, looking like nothing but a black hole. Had he not heard the rustling of a comforter from his partner’s bedroom, he would’ve thought no one was home.

Making his way toward Taehyung’s bedroom, he switched on the hallway’s lights. Once he reached the bedroom, he twisted the doorknob and invited himself in without knocking or making his presence known again. He didn’t need to. It was unlike for there to be anyone other than his soulmate.

“Again with new victim?”

Or his soulmate and his victim. Probably dead, or if she was lucky, Jimin had come right before Taehyung ate her. “I restocked your fridge with enough meats to last until the end of this week,” Jimin crossed his arms. Taehyung’s room was so dark that he could barely see the victim’s nor his soulmate’s face. But why did he catch a glimpse of you?

No, Taehyung wouldn’t be so stupid to hunt for doves now, would he?

Sighing, he pinched his temple and walked towards the bed where his soulmate was; hearing that Taehyung didn’t say anything in return – which was extremely odd – he continued, “If you ran out of it early, you could’ve just told–”

The pillow looked a lot like your face now. Has he gone mad because of Namjoon’s drastic decision to remove you from his squad to the point he hallucinated?

Fuck no, he wasn’t.

That was you. (Y/N).

“What the fuck, Kim Taehyung!?” Jimin roared and immediately stormed to the bed, body filled with pure unadulterated rage. “Get off her!”

He kept the thought of sharing you with his other soulmates as a safe notion, but not when he was seeing red: threat and danger surrounding you. It kicked off his primal instinct. You were hovered over by Taehyung, eyes shut and face red like a rose as you lay unmoved.

He must’ve drugged you.

“Another step,” Taehyung said, voice dripping with malice. “And I’ll bite your head off.”

Red luminous glow.

That made Jimin pause his step abruptly. Was his soulmate serious about his threat to the point that he activated his kakugan? He truly didn’t want to engage in a fight at the moment – especially with his soulmate. Taking a deep breath, Jimin tried again, this time with a gentle and slow voice. “Let her go, Taehyung.”

“Get out.” Taehyung didn’t miss a beat, quickly dismissing his soulmate with animosity.

A muscle in his jaw twitched. “Kim–”

“I said. Get. Out.”

That was enough to snap Jimin’s thin patience as he immediately took another step, disregarding his soulmate’s threat. Still, Taehyung was quicker as his mouth connected to the junction of your shoulder and neck. The crown of his teeth dug into your flesh deeply, blood starting to ooze out from the wound. He tore your flesh, completely detaching it from you. The drug must be wearing off because a painful moan escaped your lips, followed by a soft sobbing.

Darkness started flowing into Jimin’s sclera like ink, and prominent red veins surrounded the eye and the skin around the eye. His iris transformed into bright red, glowing with malice. Simultaneously, a scale-red kagune was generated and pierced through the back of Jimin’s body and shirt. The liquid muscles whizzed towards Taehyung and wrapped themselves around his body, pulling him away from you with mighty force.

“Namjoon will be hearing about this,” Jimin reprimanded his soulmate before he immediately walked towards you with urgency. He brought his hand to inspect your wound and could only sigh at the severity. Taehyung’s infliction of pain on you was a ghoul to human. You were neither half-ghoul nor ghoul, not even a half-human. You didn’t have the ability to regenerate or recover your injury as quickly as the listed species. The only way you could make it out of here alive was to boost up your Rc cells – at least temporarily before he brought you to Namjoon.

Jimin bit off his flesh and lowered himself to you. His hand gripped your jaw to force it open, but the sudden force caused you to thrash around, trying to remove his hand.

“Stop moving unless you want to die (Y/N).” He chided.

Had you not been drugged and half of your body could not move properly according to your will, you would’ve slapped him across the face. Your blood was boiling: the nerve to say that when he was no different than the other guy.

The person that bit off your flesh was apparently his soulmate, and you trusted neither of them equally.

“Fuck off.” You spat as you took out your hidden quinque: Ifraft and Abksol. Summoning any excess energy, you stabbed Jimin’s arm, piercing his flesh so profoundly. Save the guilt and remorse for another time as your body and mind enter fight-or-flight mode.

“Fucking hell–” He lurched back from the sudden attack. “(Y/N)!”

You didn’t just attack because of distrust.

Bringing one of your knees closer, you kicked Jimin off the bed and tried to get up. The luminosity of his red eye increased as he glared at you. He managed to get up and look perfectly unscathed.

“Y–You…” The realisation had you tongue-tied and spluttered as tears coursed down your face, blood still oozing from the open wound. “You’re a ghoul…”

You attacked him because he was the species you dutifully needed to exterminate.

“(Y/N),” Jimin began, voice unwavering. “I really need you to cooperate with me right now if you don’t want to die. It’s only a matter of time before your wound becomes fatal to your life if untended.”

“Thank you, but I can walk to the nearby hospital.” You turned down his proposal with a stern gaze.

“And risk you exposing us?” His voice lowered a pitch, and his eyes darkened. “Not a chance, (Y/N).”

His kagune generated another scaled tentacle and whizzed its way toward you. You were quick to cut through his soft kagune with the daggers in your hands, but just with that defence movement, you were already out of breath. You clutched onto the blades like they were your lifeline.

‘It’s only a matter of time before your wound becomes fatal to your life if untended.’

Fuck…

It would be best if you made it to the door and out of this place, call Mingyu or Minghao and–

“You spoke your thoughts out loud, honey.” It wasn’t Jimin’s voice.

Before you or even Jimin could even turn to the one and only person the voice could’ve come from, a pair of kagune latched itself to your wrists, simultaneously yanking away your weapon. Taehyung had broken free from Jimin’s rinkaku grip by summoning his own kagune. His scale-red tentacles pierced through Jimin’s, and immediately, the liquid muscles disappeared into thin air because the weak bond between the Rc cells in his kagune was disturbed by a sudden greater force.

Taehyung’s movement was fast as he ripped off his own flesh and forced it on you by shoving the piece down your throat without mercy. His voice was rough as he gritted out a command for you to chew on his flesh. His hand covered almost the lower half of your face to prevent you from spitting the flesh out.

The force he put on you was pressuring and suffocating.

You were vulnerable.

Your wrists were held down by Taehyung’s rinkaku, immobilising you at once.

“Eating his flesh one time won’t turn you into a ghoul,” Jimin said from afar. It almost sounded as if to soothe, but his voice was incomprehensible given the situation at hand, and you have long gone into fight-or-flight mode. His whole kagune disappeared into thin air, and his eye was restored to its normal state, leaving only Taehyung in his ghoul form. “It will only boost your Rc cells before we can bring you to the doctor.”

You were forced to accept his flesh with the force Taehyung put in his hand on your mouth. The soft muscle has no way out; way in was the only way. You tightly clenched your eyes as you chewed and let the flesh enter your body. You could taste the blood, thick on your taste bud, and most likely to leave behind a lingering after-taste. Tears formed at the corner of your eyes, and it took you by surprise when you felt something brush the tears away.

“I’m sorry you got to know it this way,” Jimin spoke softly as his thumb gently wiped away the tears that had escaped your eyes. “Let go of her, Tae.”

Taehyung was unmoving. His gaze was hard on you. It was a gaze of malice that mixed with sombreness. His red scale tentacles let go of your wrists and travelled to your neck – to where your pulse was, just above the wound.

“You took a prevention medication, didn’t you?”

All rights reserved © 2023 kthyg. Do not copy, translate, modify or repost without permission. Feedback is very much appreciated. It keeps me motivated! Send me an ask !!

[moonlitinks]

What Fate Decides [Taehyung x Reader] [Part 3]

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summary: You're a beta in love with your best friend, alpha Kim Taehyung. Except you know that you can never fulfill his dominating urges, so you draw a line between the two of you. Cherish his small kisses and embraces until an omega has to come along.

Until one day, you're not a beta anymore. Now, it's nearly impossible to resist the protective, endearing alpha in front of you.

pairing: taehyung x reader

chapter tags/warnings: angst, fluff, alpha/omega, a/b/o dynamics, best friends to lovers, slow burn ish, smut, mature, swearing

note: sorry for the wait all <3 last part coming in a bit! thank you for being here and reading my works (I am forever grateful). If you want to hang out with me, check out my insta, and if you'd like to donate me a coffee, check out my kofi page!

The accident turned you into an omega.

Okay, that’s kind of a lie. You were a dormant omega, apparently, but now you’re a real one. Or something like that. In truth, your face had been pale, and though the doctor’s mouth was moving, nothing seemed to register. Finally, you had been comfortable with being a Beta. And then suddenly, the world shifts it’s axis, it being Wacky Wednesday or something, and you’re an Omega.

You release a wry laugh. What a joke. 

A joke, because you lost your best friend.

A joke, because you lost your freedom. 

A joke, because you feel as if you just lost everything. 

The door swings open to your studio, and you watch as Taehyung is fumbling outside your doorway, hands in his pockets, peeking up from you from under his bangs. Though you normally wouldn’t think anything of it as a beta, the omega side suddenly sees it as groveling. An alpha hunching over and submitting to his omega. 

Ha. Like you’re his omega. There are thousands of them lined up already, begging for his attention no doubt. Adding yourself to the list among the more experienced, and beautiful, ones is a waste of heartbreak. 

“Do you want to come in?” You hesitate, and his mouth twists as he straightens. He’s tall. 

No surprise there. The only surprise should be that your omega is reacting to his height.

“You’re not on suppressants,” he starts, forming into a mother hen. “You have to be on suppressants.” 

God, you can’t even tell how much time has passed since the accident and he’s already making a list, throwing you into the omega life. And besides, it’s been like a week after you discharged? He was there every day at the hospital, but now that you could walk without any issues, he disappeared? 

“I don’t want to be,” you protest. “Why do I have to? I’ve never—”

Oh. Right. Because you’re different now. You sigh at the thought of the mundane life escaping further from your grasp. “Do I have to, though? Is there no other option around it?” 

That makes Taehyung pause from the doorway, and he turns around. 

“There’s this thing,” he starts, swallowing. “Called scenting. And you have a scent that can draw Alphas—”

“But you smell, too,” you wrinkle your nose. “And nobody attacks you or anything—”

“It’s not safe,” he repeats, but there’s a layer underneath it. Dangerous. Possessive. Raw. He growls, and you melt in his arms. Into a puddle of arousal, with the slick gushing out of you and the way your gut is aching. 

“Omega,” he thunders, and something shifts. He’s inching closer, and in the next moment, Taehyung’s kissing your jaw. Groaning. Murmuring, Omega. Let me scent you.

And you tell him—Yes. And when his mouth covers your gland and sucks, you cry out and clutch his arms.

“Fuck,” Taehyung groans once more. His teeth scrape the back of your neck, where your gland is located, and you babble incoherent words. “Omega. You smell so good. Taste fucking delicious.” 

This is not a good idea. 

But it’s one that your heart wants. 

Taehyung knows he should contain himself. He has to be the alpha that helps his best friend find a suitable companion. But he can’t help but think that you’re his omega, no matter how much he attempts to think otherwise. He doesn’t want to ruin the dynamic he has with you, but goddamn, he’s attuned to every one of your movements. Like the way you’re curled up against him as the movie plays, legs on top of his own, and head leaning against his chest. There are small, barely audible throaty sounds coming from you as you watch the couple fight, clearly disliking it. And he can’t help but wonder how it feels to suck on your gland again until you’re smothered in his scent.

Then he can’t help but imagine you under him, knotted and preening. He already knows you’re vocal with your whimpers and sighs—and if you can’t stop squirming, he’ll pin you to the bed and bite your glands on your wrists… and rut into you. Fuck, he might not even be able to pull out to thrust back in. 

“Taehyung?” You murmur, eyes wide and innocent, most likely catching the way he stared at you. Like he wanted to devour you. 

In return, the alpha mumbles your name and rests his forehead on your shoulder. It’s hell, he thinks, jaw clenching. You’re wearing his hoodie and no shorts under it, and he’s breathing in your lavender scent, mind repeating: this is hell, but also what content is like. 

It’s insane, how much comfort you bring. You brought it as a beta, but you’re also bringing it as an omega. Taehyung kisses your cheek and embraces you, closing his eyes for a second. The fact that you’re alive and breathing under him—that is enough. It’s all he can ever ask of you, to just keep smiling at him. 

There are some things that changed about him. He started—and he knows that you noticed—calling you love, or baby. He buries his head in the crook of your neck constantly, making sure you smell like him and he you. Satisfaction thrums through Taehyung’s veins when he can smell himself on you. 

Knowing that scenting you earlier meant that you belonged to him. That all his members could smell who you belonged to. His Alpha loves it, too, instead of thrashing around and causing anxiety. Finally, his head quiets. No thoughts about coming home, taking care of you, making sure you’re well fed, rings through his mind. 

“I have something to tell you,” he blurts, and you glance up.

Fuck. He can’t take it anymore. Screw company guidelines. Screw what people thinks. He wants you. All of you.

You’re his happiness; there’s no doubt in his mind that fate put you together. 

“I love you,” he murmurs, placing your hand over his chest, directly where your heartbeat is. “You’re everything to me. My whole world. My—”

“Your omega?”

“My omega. Just like I’m yours, too.” 

tags: @theblueslytherin @tatyhend @tinyoonsblog @vsmith0099 @midnightsora @cupcakesxdomjoon @likeshatteredrainbowglass @scuzmunkie @kookiwu @xjiminsthighsx @dreadity @lovelytaes-blog @noooodlllleeee @ggukkieland @namjoonshug @jaiuneamesolitaiire @hesmyphenominiall @hollyweird0

[yoonia]

A Christmas Fix | kth (teaser)

⤑ Summary | One-night stands are supposed to be nothing more than just. It shouldn’t have involved seeing those two red lines looking back at you weeks later without a name or a contact number linking you back to your mystery man. Nothing more but his face. The unforgettable face that would sometimes appear in your dreams at night. So unforgettable that you immediately recognise him the moment he walks into your family home at Christmas, hand-in-hand with your older stepsister.

⤑ Title | A Christmas Fix

⤑ Pairings | Taehyung x female reader

⤑ Ratings & Genre | +18 / M for Mature; Secret Baby!au, Second Chance!au, Strangers to Lovers!au

⤑ Word count | estimated: 30k 45k 50k words; teaser: 1,403 words | writing progress per Jan 31st, 2024: posted!

Part of the Jingle All the Way collaboration

Beautiful banner by @kithtaehyung

“Seriously, baby,” you whisper to the non-existent bump under your sweater, “Please take it easy, will you? I’m really struggling here, and you’re not making things easy for me. Trust me, it would be too soon for everyone to find out about you. At least wait until we can find a clue about your Dad, okay?” 

As if the baby inside you is listening, even if it is still barely a fetus at this point, your body grows calmer and the nausea slowly wanes. 

“Thank you, baby,” you whisper to your stomach once again before finally focusing on the stove and the oven, deliberately taking your time with what you do just so you can have a reason not to join the dramatic reunion happening right this minute. 

From this side of the kitchen, the front door isn’t completely visible. But you can hear everything as the door opens and your stepfather joyfully welcomes his daughter. 

Hearing his voice makes you smile. You may have had a tumultuous relationship with your stepsister, but the same cannot be said with your stepfather. Cliff has always been a great role model, and your relationship with him has always been great from the start. 

It makes you feel guilty when you think about the previous encounters where you and your stepsister simply gave each other cold shoulders or when you were met with altercations just because of how different the two of you are. But there is no helping it. Nothing has changed over the years no matter how hard you tried. Not even once you have become adults. 

You can’t even remember how it first started. And frankly, you no longer care. Last year’s incident was already enough to let you know that the sisterhood that your parents have been forcing you into was beyond saving. 

The voices coming from the front door continue for a moment longer. This time, you get to hear your mother’s voice joining in the conversation and Alia's soft voice answering her questions. You make no effort to listen to what they are saying and tune out their voices, until your mother’s voice calls out to you. 

“______, your sister is here. Come and say hi.” 

Your mother’s words make you stop. Slowly, you turn down the heat on the stove and turn to make your way towards the front door to join the family reunion. 

“It’s stepsister,” you mutter under your breath as you drag your feet, taking your sweet time while you try to compose yourself before having to face the unwanted guests. 

As you turn around the corner, merely moments before the front door finally comes into view, you get to hear another voice speaking. The voice that you couldn’t clearly hear from the kitchen while you were tuning their conversation out. 

“I’m sorry for intruding. But thank you for having me here.” 

That voice. 

You immediately come to a halt. An uneasy feeling runs through your body when you realise that you recognise this voice and have grown to know it quite well. 

There is no mistaking it. You may not have gotten his full name on the night you met, and his face has somewhat become a faint mirage in your dreams at night whenever you are taken back to the night of your hookup.

But you cannot say the same about his voice. 

That deep and gentle voice will always be engraved in your memory. Even now, the only thing you would need to do is close your eyes and listen, and allow the voice to take you back to that specific night once more, where he used this voice to say sinful words that you could feel caressing your fragile heart while he was bringing you to the peak of pleasure.

And now you are hearing that voice here, at your home, idly chatting with your mother by the front door. 

“_______, are you coming?” your mother calls again, and you know that there is no avoiding it. You have to face reality, even if that means you must come face to face with the man who is responsible for placing you in this situation.

Tamping down the rush of nerves going through your body, you slowly march ahead. Bracing yourself as you turn around the corner and enter the living room where everyone is currently gathering in.

Your eyes fall on your stepsister first. 

Alia has always looked so vibrant and beautiful, drawing all kinds of attention from everyone in the room when she is present. Yet when you look at her now, there seems to be a new kind of light emerging from her. Even her smile seems brighter as she chats along with your stepfather.  

And you soon realise the reason why she is shining brightly today as you turn your gaze to look at the person standing beside her. To finally see him. 

He looks just like how you remember him. Tall and lean, with his arms and chest filling up his sweater. He has his hair falling over a part of his face, just enough of a mess that seems as if he has been running his fingers through the wavy strands. As he converses with your mother, he shows his boxy grin that seems familiar to your eyes. 

Too familiar. 

Because it looks just the same as the wide grin that was teasing and flirting with you on one eventful night at the transit hotel weeks ago. 

No. That can’t be.

The baby’s daddy is here. The man who you were planning to look for once you return to the city. 

He is here, today, appearing at the front door of your parents’ home together with your stepsister. His long fingers that had once entangled between the strands of your hair are now entwined with your stepsister’s dainty fingers. And there is no mistaking the matching couple rings that are glowing under the sunlight coming from their entwined hands. 

Before you get the chance to process what is happening, you hear him introducing himself to your stepfather, “It’s good to see you, Sir. My name is Taehyung.” 

No. 

You stifle a gasp. It feels like you have been sucker-punched right in the chest that you can barely breathe. 

Taehyung, you wonder. Tae? 

All of a sudden, you feel as if the ground beneath your feet is spinning. And since you seem to have lost the ability to move your feet, the only thing you can do to stop yourself from falling is to clench your hands tightly by your side. Tight enough to feel pain as your nails are sinking into your palms, convincing you that this is not a dream. 

Yet you are still in denial as you watch the interaction happening right before your eyes. Because there is no way this is happening. There is no possible way that it is truly him. 

Please. Please don’t let it be him. 

It must have been your mind playing tricks on you. Because there is no way that he is here. Not as your stepsister’s new boyfriend. 

This must be a mistake. Yes, you are probably confused and all the thoughts of finding your baby daddy are messing up with your head, forcing you to believe that your stepsister’s new boyfriend is your mysterious baby daddy. The fact that they have the same name must have been pure coincidence. 

For once in your life, you don’t want to be right. You have to be wrong. 

Please tell me that it’s not him. 

Just then, as if life was listening to your prayers, as if life has yet to have enough of its games to play around with your heart, the man turns his gaze away from your parents. And those pretty eyes land on you. 

As if there is a switch turned, the brightness in his gaze fades. His beautiful eyes are filled with recognition. It is so subtle that you are quite sure that nobody else around you notices it, but it is enough to let you know that your memories have been right all along. 

Because those are the same eyes that you saw looking back at you with pure lust and sin while he was bringing you wanton pleasure, when you made love as if both of you had been under a spell, right on the very night that may have changed your fate forever. 

Fuck. 

Me.

Coming soon (hopefully) this month! Join taglist here!

[sketchguk]

in my head; kth (moodboard)

➵ pairing: fwb!taehyung x reader

➵ genre: pwp (porn with plot), angst, college au

➵ word count: 331 (teaser) / 8k

➵ synopsis: taehyung’s friends love you ー adore you. they probably want to fuck you, but they’ll never admit to it. instead, they’ll push taehyung's limits in the middle of a frat party, testing just how close they can get to you before he takes you to bed in a fit of jealousy. and maybe, just maybe, one of his friends can have a taste too (if he’s lucky).  

inspired by thuy's in my head

warnings under the cut!

➵ warnings: unrequited love, commitment issues, dacryphilia, degradation (use of the word slut, whore, and pervert), fingering, oral (f receiving), spit kink, overstimulation, use of the color system, breast play, hand job, unprotected (jealous/possessive) sex, marking, impact play (slapping - face & pussy, spanking), breeding kink, choking, mirror sex, voyeurism, exhibitionism, manhandling, mentions of intoxication (mc and & taehyung are sober!), use of the word daddy, mentions of religion, ass play, mentions of dp, creampie

➵ publish date: friday may 19th, 8pm EST

➵ author's note: surprise! a little taste of maknae line all around!!

There’s a small part of Jimin’s subconscious that makes him believe he should walk away and pretend that this never happened. It feels wrong to spy on his best friend splitting your sweet cunt in half, but he can’t seem to look away. The longer he stares, the harder he gets.

Maybe it’s the boost of serotonin that Jimin gets from the sight of your tits. They're bouncing from the force of Taehyung’s thrusts, and he can only imagine how they would feel beneath his palms. Perhaps it’s the sound of your dulcet voice, begging Taehyung to fuck you deeper, spank you harder, and love you louder. 

Jimin has only ever dreamt about the sound of your moans, but now, he can hear them loud and clear from the other side of the door.

He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. Perhaps this is a dream. Or maybe he’s a little too drunk at this point of the night.

But when he looks up again, he’s met with Taehyung’s darkened eyes. Jimin’s mouth goes dry, wishing that he could be there in place of his dear friend. 

In all of his dreams, Jimin has never pictured you to like it so rough. You’ve always been so kind and so sweet, offering to clean the dishes among his dirty fraternity brothers. You're so considerate to keep him company while he builds his Lego sets late into the evening.

You're practically the face of innocence.

Now with this knowledge of you being a dirty, little whore, he can stow it away into the back of his mind, saving it for the dark and restless nights.

When Taehyung’s thumb meets your clit, you whimper his name. It’s raw, almost painful, coming from your scratchy throat. 

“Say it again,” Taehyung demands, tapping the side of your face with his free hand before gliding it down to your neck. “Say my name again. If you want me to come inside of you, beg.”

Check it out here!

[borathae]

"You should have known. Taehyung is a connoisseur for a good hunt after all. He loves to drag it out, to take his time and play with his prey until their resources are used up. The catch isn’t most pleasurable to him, but the path leading up to it. You know him so well and yet you still thought that you could get him to lose control so easily. Oh how naïve you were."

Pairing: Vampire!Taehyung x f.Reader

Genre: established relationship!AU, polyamory!AU, Smut

Warnings: pussy wetting porn, soft & hard Dom!Taehyung, whiney sub!Reader, she's a tease in the beginning, until he shows her what a real tease looks like, he kneels and kisses her feet in gratefulness, period sex, lotsa blood, he licks it from her pussy, and does some other kinky shit with it but it's a surprise besties, sloppy oral (f.receiving), pussy fingering, gentle pussy fisting bitches, rough sex in multiple positions and locations (including his bed, the window, atop a dresser, his atelier), dirty talk, praise, good girl kink, degradation (he calls her his greedy slut), sexy possessiveness, Sir kink, huge vampire dicks, fangs, nipple play, marking, scratching (m.receiving), choking (f.receiving), strength kink, he's unhinged and feral, multiple intense orgasms for her, overstimulation, she's a lil masochist <3, Tae uses her pussy as his personal fleshlight, creampies, she subdrops but he reassures her, the softest aftercare, they're in love and kinky!!

Wordcount: 9.2k

a/n: i need to be restrained and put in a cage. cue brittany brosky's voice i am gnawing at the iron bars of my enclosure 😶

You know where to find your darling. It is a rainy night and the air is chilly enough to make staying inside wonderful. There is only one place in the estate where Taehyung loves to be during those times. His atelier, painting and drawing away. The doors to it are open, the faintest of jazz music enters the corridors. He is painting. Just as you had figured. You know him so well.

You enter his atelier with a faint knock on his door.

“Tae darling?”

“Yes, my darling?” Taehyung asks with his full attention on you instantly. He even places his paint brush aside without breaking his eyes away from you for even a millisecond. He sniffles as if he noticed something, but stays quiet otherwise. His eyes scan you from head to toe and yet he still doesn’t say anything.

You close the distance between you and him. 

“I got my period today.” 

“I knew that I smelled something on you. Oh my darling, do not worry. I can get you everything you need”, he says and stands up to hurry to you, “just make me a list and I will drive to the store right away, unless you need a massage or hugs. Oh, I can give you everything.”

“You’re so sweet”, you say, “but I don’t need any of those things.”

“Yes? Then I shall keep my distance and talk only when necessary.”

“No, not that either.”

“What else could you possibly need?”

“Tae, I’m not wearing protection right now and it’s leaking into my panties.” 

Taehyung furrows his brows, “...yes? I…shall I buy you new sanitary products?”

“No, you,” you chuckle.

Taehyung chuckles as well eventhough he is very clearly confused. 

“Help me clean myself, Tae.”

“Oh, of course! Oh darling, why didn’t you say so sooner? Come, I shall run you a hot shower and scrub your back”, he says and takes your hand to walk off. 

You however pull him back, using the momentum to twirl him.

Taehyung laughs and falls into you.

“Darling, don’t do that.”

You fix him so he was facing you again.

“You didn’t understand me.”

“Okay?”

“Kneel, Taehyung.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Kneel for me.”

Taehyung falls to his knees as if it was instinct. He even places his hands in the proper position, looking up at you with questioning puppy eyes.

“I don’t seem to understand”, he confesses.

“Clean me, Taehyung”, you tell him and step closer. 

The sweet scent of your bleeding, warm pussy overtakes his senses. He tries not to, but still looks at your middle. You are wearing nothing more than an oversized cashmere cardigan and a pair of cotton panties. They are white, but soaked in blood. He feels his senses blur. You look and smell temptatious.

“Darling”, Taehyung croaks, pressing his legs together, “you are torturing me. I can smell but you.”

“Clean me, Taehyung”, you repeat your order and something seems to click in Taehyung’s brain

His head snaps up, his face is fallen in shock.

“What, what do you mean? What does this mean? What?” he stutters, blinking rapidly. 

You smile tauntingly, “you heard me. I’m messy and need you to clean me.” 

“But darling. Darling, you are covered in blood”, Taehyung is salivating as he speaks. His fangs are glistening in the lights. He is so consumed by your scent, aching to bury his face in your sweet heaven and yet he seems so perfectly in control.

“I know and I need a vampire to clean it.”

“___”, Taehyung presses out, “are you certain? What about Yoongi? I do not want him to think that I am feeding from you again. I don’t want to cause a fight.”

“Yoongi cleaned me too.”

“Pardon?” this confession is the most shocking to Taehyung. Obviously.

“Yeah”, you giggle, “do you remember last month? When I didn’t leave Yoongi’s wing for days?”

“Yes.”

“That was when I accidentally started my period in his bed and he ate me out like an animal.”

"Now this is", Taehyung scoffs, shaking his head, “you are having a jest with me.”

You shake your head, continuing your story.

“He proceeded to keep me captive for the rest of my period to literally take me in far too many ways and positions and rooms and…yeah. Phew.”

“You are telling the truth?!”

“Yes. Of course I am”, you say and snicker at Taehyung’s shocked expression.

“Darling, I am flabbergasted. Yoongi drank your blood?” 

“He didn’t drink my blood. He ate my pussy, which just so happened to be bleeding, but that’s beside the point. He knows that I’m here and what I want to do with you. He doesn’t mind.” 

“Are you certain? Are you truly certain?” 

“Yes Tae, I’m certain. You’re the only one who can clean me right now.”

"Are, are you truly certain?"

"Every second wasted with talking means my panties are getting messier and messier", you say and lift your cardigan just slightly to reveal more of you to him.

Taehyung looks at it and crumbles.

“Darling you”, he touches your calves, looking up at you with devoted, starstruck eyes, “I exist to worship you. Every waking second should be spend being your greatest admirer. I-” 

He stops talking to instead bow down in front of you. Not only that, but to also kiss your feet. Every inch of them. Toe by toe and instep by instep. He kisses your feet as shaky mutters of “thank you” and “oh, how I am devoted to you” interrupt his needy sounds of admiration.

You let it happen with a racing heart. He looks so good worshiping your feet. 

“My goddess”, he says, hugging your legs and burying his nose deep in your middle. He inhales deeply, letting out a guttural moan, “oh my beautiful, bleeding goddess. I am delirious from your scent”, his voice is muffled from your body. 

You giggle, ruffling his hair. 

“You seem happy.”

“I am happy. I ache for your taste day by day. Oh my sweetest, you smell so wonderful.”

He tilts his head up, still hugging your legs. His eyes are ruby, his cheeks covered in black veins. You caress them, ending it by tugging a strand of hair behind his ear.

“You’re such a darling”, you speak softly, giving him a fond smile.

Taehyung buries his nose back in you, inhaling as much of you as his lungs allow him.

“Oh darling”, he moans as he exhales, shuddering uncontrollably, “how I want you.”

“You can have me. You know?”

“I know, oh I know”, he says and stands up, “I shall not take you here”, he says, sweeping you off your feet bridal style.

You squeal and giggle, falling around his neck for support. You don’t feel scared at all. He is your strong darling after all. Your weight feels like nothing to a vampire like him. He carries you with ease, basking in your giggles as you willingly let him kidnap you.

The journey ends in his bedroom. He places you atop his king sized bed, giving you no time to get used to the solace as he claims the space above you. Your cardigan got messed up from the movement, having slipped off one of your shoulders to reveal your skin to him.

Taehyung lowers his lips to your shoulder instantly, kissing your every inch from the very top of your shoulder down to where your collarbone blends into your sternum. His hands are on each side of your head, his knees are caging in your hips and yet he puts no weight on your lap. The distance aches. To have his weight so close, his touch even closer and not to receive it makes you restless. You squirm on the sheets, reaching up just to grasp his wrists.

“Patience”, Taehyung guides his lips to the shell of your ear just so he can seduce you with his sultry whispers, “I like to take my time with an exquisite meal.”

Being known so well by him makes you squirm once more. All you needed to do was to touch his wrists and he knew what you were craving most.

“I’m getting everything messy”, you sigh in hopes of warming his heart. 

Taehyung chuckles deeply, kissing a path along your face until he reaches the other side of your neck to worship.

“This is the fun part”, he rasps and shakes his right hand free from your weak grasp to instead run it down your body.

You writhe into the touch, shivering intensely when he slips it under your cardigan to palm at your skin. Just for a few seconds and without ever touching your breasts, then he already slips it out again to dance it to your hip.

“The savouring you is the best part, my darling”, he teases, playing with the hem of your panties, “it gets you so wet”, you can feel his smirk against your skin, hear it in his voice, “and messy”, he adds, kissing the spot where your pulse races like crazy in your neck.

“Tae”, you mewl, arching into him.

This isn’t what you expected when you came to him for aid. You expected him to lose composure like Yoongi did. You expected him to take you and pin you, giving you no chance to escape as he selfishly takes what is his’. You wanted him to be the one panting and gasping as control slipped from his fingers with each lick and yet he is having you in a tight grip. He is in perfect control while you feel dizzy in desperation.

You should have known. Taehyung is a connoisseur for a good hunt after all. He loves to drag it out, to take his time and play with his prey until their resources are used up. The catch isn’t most pleasurable to him, but the path leading up to it. You know him so well and yet you still thought that you could get him to lose control so easily. Oh how naïve you were.

“Darling, you are squirming so much”, Taehyung rasps, holding your hips down with gentle strength, “what’s the matter? Am I rushing you?”

“No”, you mewl, shaking your head.

“No?”

You shake your head more vigorously, wiggling your hips under his grip.

“Look at you trying to squirm”, he taunts, “don’t tell me that you believed me to lose control like Yoongi did, mhm?”

You mewl from being so exposed. It should embarrass you, but it only makes you crave him more. 

Taehyung chuckles deeply, guiding his long fingers to your tummy just to play with your panties there.

“You should know me better by now”, he rasps, slipping his fingers inside just to toy with your pubes. He is obsessed with them, twirling and tugging on them gently to truly rile you up.

“Tae, please”, you try begging, making him smirk against your neck. 

He retreats his touch, drawing circles into the softness of your stomach. You want him so bad. 

“Open your cardigan for me.”

You obey even before he finishes his sentence. There are three buttons keeping you modest. You open them as quickly as possible, tugging the cardigan open to expose yourself to him. You slip it off your arms, letting it lay under you as you can’t be bothered to remove it completely. 

“Good girl”, Taehyung praises and sits up. He is kneeling, but still doesn’t put his weight on your lap. This is for show. To make you aware that he doesn’t need his weight to keep you pinned for him. His presence is enough to make you obedient.

Taehyung runs his eyes over your body, keeping his hands rested on his own thighs. The fabric of his linen pants stretches around them, bulging at his cock. He is hard. At least this he can’t hide from you. Even if he pretends to be in perfect control otherwise, at least his cock shows how much you affect him.

“Mhm”, he purrs, “beautiful.”

He looks at your panties. They are red in blood. His eyes flicker ruby. Finally another reaction. You part your legs upon seeing it, aching for him to act.

“How much do you treasure these undergarments?” he asks.

“They’re old and a little uncomfy”, you tell him.

“Good. Then I am sure you don’t mind if I do this”, he says and slips his fingers under the hem of them. He picks up a piece of them and looks at you, “may I?”

“Yeah…please.”

“So eager”, he chuckles and begins ripping the fabric, going carefully and slowly. It takes everything inside you not to squirm and beg him for more. Taehyung rips your panties at the other side as well, going just as slow and careful. It is as if he was opening a present or unwrapping a piece of candy. He does it with such a light-heartedness while you feel like shivering in desperation.

You lift your hips the second he managed to rip your panties apart. Taehyung chuckles and tugs the ruined fabric away.

“So eager”, he says, lifting your panties into his field of vision. He inspects them, parting his lips to show off his fangs. A smirk tugs at the corner of his lips, his ruby eyes flit to you, “this is your last chance to stop this, darling.”

“I don’t want to stop.”

“Are you certain?”

“Yes!” you insist loudly, “please Tae, don’t tease me anymore.”

He chuckles, “you’re such a delight, my darling”, he says and places your panties aside. He climbs off your lap, placing his hands on your thighs to push them apart. Not that he has to do a lot of work. The second he touched your thighs, you opened your legs for him. He meets your desperate eyes, giving you a knowing smile.

“So eager”, he speaks softly and sickeningly sweet. Oh, the things he manages to do with nothing but his voice.

“Please Tae, I’m messy.”

“Mhm, not messy enough”, he says and connects two of his fingers with your aching heat. 

“Ah”, you gasp, chasing the touch the second you received it. It feels so good. His fingers are so careful and his skin so soft. You needed his touch so incredibly much.

“So wet”, Taehyung whispers, dragging his fingers through your folds in a slow massage, “look at it covering your every inch. Darling, I crave you.”

He leaves out your clit on purpose, riling you up each time he swerves past it.

“More”, you try in hopes of persuading him, chasing his gentle touch.

“May I feel you inside?”

“Yes”, you exhale shakily, “yes please, Tae.” 

“Thank you so much”, he says and lets two of his fingers disappear inside you. You gasp and arch your back. They slip in so easily, fill you up so much. Taehyung watches your face for reactions and when he sees that no sign of discomfort crinkle it, he finally looks at your reddened cunt. Truly, how messy you are. It looks like the most delicious meal to Taehyung, forcing him to gulp heavily from all the saliva gathering in his mouth. He moves his hand, fingering your soft walls with gentle precision.

“Tae…” you sigh, letting your legs fall open. His fingers are so long, touching just where it feels the best.

“You feel wonderful, my darling”, he praises, curling his fingers, “you feel so tender inside. Tell me, are my fingers comfortable?”

“Yes”, you sigh, nodding your head vigorously.

“Oh, you feel so much more tender than on other days”, he whispers and slips another finger inside.

“A-ah”, your breath hitches in your throat, your fingers twist the sheets. To be so filled with Taehyung will never lose its spark.

“Breathe, my darling. You are tightening”, he orders you, soothing the stretch by drawing circles on your clit with his thumb. You are so wet from your period that the touch comes easy.

You inhale shakily, exhale in a tremble. You can’t control your walls from clenching, not when he makes you feel so good. You need to feel him as close as possible, so clenching comes natural to you.

“There we go. I need you to relax, otherwise I can’t prepare you for my length”, he speaks sweetly, soothing your trembles with gentle rubs to your lower stomach, “you are doing so well already.”

“Oh god…Tae”, you press out, rolling your head to the side in weakness. Being praised by him will always ruin you. You roll your hips up into his touch, moaning his name because this is all you can think of right now. Taehyung and only Taehyung.

He rewards your eagerness with yet another finger. He watches with deep red eyes as his pinkie finger slips into your wet cunt, how you welcome him and how you fit so perfectly around him.

“Four fingers darling, you are taking four of my fingers”, he rasps, keeping them still inside you to get you used to the stretch. He knows that it can be overwhelming and he doesn’t want to overwhelm you. Yet.

“Tae ple-please”, you get out in a shaky breath, reaching down to squeeze the hand he keeps on your stomach. You hold it with both hands, squeezing it so terribly much.

“Hurts?” he makes sure, caressing your skin.

You shake your head vigorously, grinding into his touch. His fingers slip deeper. Taehyung feels how your walls throb around his digits, tensing his own thighs as his every fiber tells him to ruin you. If you think that he wasn’t affected by all of this, you were wrong. It takes every ounce of self-control for Taehyung to stay as calm as he pretends to be right now. There are voices in his head. Distorted, tempting voices telling him to devour you, to use the advantages his curse gives him and take you as his sweetest meal.

But Taehyung has a plan. He wants this meal to be as perfect as possible. He wants you to think about it during random times of your day and feel so utterly affected by it that you falter in whatever you were doing a few moments ago, perhaps you even gasp for air and trace the spots he touched as you tried to relive the memory.

Taehyung needs to ignore the voices for the sake of the perfect feed. There is no other way.

You thrust your hips again, pulsating around his hand as your cunt swallows it hungrily. How wet you are inside, how warm and soft. Taehyung can touch your cervix this way, forcing you to keep still by pressing down on your tummy again. You squeeze his hand, whimpering his name while your hips give up without a fight.

“Stay still, don’t disobey”, he orders, pulling his fingers out just a little in order to give your tender cervix a break, “if you keep wiggling, it will hurt.”

“But it, it feels so good”, you get out and whimper, scratching at his hand gently as you try to grasp more, “Sir feels so good.”

Taehyung groans, furrowing his brows. Ruin her. The voices tempt him. Take her and break her. They taunt him.

“Darling”, he presses out through gritted fangs, “fuck, you make me act up”, he spits and gives into his desires.

He pins you down with his weight, wrapping his blood-soiled hand around your throat to press down on your veins.

Dizziness claims your brain instantly, a squeaky gasp leaves your lips. You meet his gaze, meeting desperate craze in it. His pupils are so blown-out that they almost swallow the red, the black veins pulsate on his cheeks. He is breathing heavily and shakily, doing so in deep, desperate breaths.

“How dare you call me such titles. Do you have any idea what this does to me?” he is growling his words with a hint of demonic raspiness in his voice. He tilts your head up with a tight grip on your throat, “what I want to do to you when you talk like this?”

“Sir”, you choke out, grasping his strong lower arm. It feels so good to be choked. It finally feels as if you are breaking his composure. You couldn’t escape his grasp even if you tried as hard as you can, but you aren’t scared. You are so entirely happy to be here.

Taehyung’s features darken, his unoccupied hand grasps your hands and guides them down your body. He lodges them between your waist and his thighs, turning you unable to move them. You can’t even wiggle them, let alone change their position. He is so strong and you are utterly at his mercy.

“Stop calling me this”, he hisses and slams his hand into the pillow beside your head. He moves in closer, breathing deeply. He shudders and growls. His blood-soiled hand covered your entire neck in blood, tempting him to taste you. He moves in closer, rolling your head to the side to reveal your vulnerable neck to his lips. He inhales again, moaning deliciously.

Your heart is racing. The grip around your neck lessened, but you still feel dizzy.

“How I need you”, he gets out and moves in. His bloodied fingers leave your neck, his dripping tongue replaces them. You tense up and moan, feeling burning electricity shoot through your veins.

Taehyung moans and presses himself closer, feasting on your neck as if it was the first meal he ever tasted. He missed this so much that he almost starts crying. And to have it taste like your sweet cunt as well, oh Taehyung has to reach up and grab the edge of the pillow, caring rather little about soiling it with blood. He pins you deep into the mattress, increases the pressure on your arms. You shouldn’t escape him. Not when he finally has the taste of your blood under his tongue. By the time, he has finished cleaning one side, your flesh is bruised and sensitive. He didn’t bite you, even if his fangs kept gracing your skin, but the sensitivity is still intense.

“You are my downfall”, he is panting, fixing your head so your other side was exposed, “I want to ruin you”, he adds and latches himself onto your tender neck.

“Sir”, you whimper, lying completely still even if you want to writhe and squirm and arch your back. It feels so good. His mouth is so much hotter than on normal days.

Taehyung worships your neck almost every time you and he are intimate. You know how good it feels, but this feels different. This kind of worship, you always received when the taste of your blood was involved and you forgot how much better it feels. His mouth is burning, his tongue so wet and eager, his sucks are inhumanly desperate and his fangs keep tickling your skin. You feel so dizzy, whimpering his title because this is all you can do.

“Oh darling”, he chokes out shakily, abandoning your cleaned and sensitive neck to lick down your body. He releases your arms this way, but you are too weakened to move them.

Taehyung changes your positions as he eagerly explores the paths down to your cunt. He reaches just about under your ribcage when everything is taking too long for him and he uses his powers. His arms grip your legs, using the leverage to turn you on the mattress so you are facing the side of his bed. He proceeds to tug you to the edge of it, falling to his knees before you as his arms pull your hips off the sheets and he can bury his face in your bloodied cunt. This is the only position which allows him to suffocate himself with you and it is also the only way he can truly make sure that you can’t flee. With his arms having an iron grip around your thighs and his hands digging deep into the softness of you, he has you where he wants you. Spread open and cunt on top his face.

He growls deeply, shutting off his better senses as your sweetened taste claims his tongue.

“Tae”, you moan, arching your back even if it is hard to do so in the current position, “ah! Oh god! What t-the hell? Ah!”

The thing about Taehyung’s nose? It is beautiful, ethereal, sculpted by the heavens and goddamn fucking perfect to grind against a sensitive pussy. And the thing about Taehyung? He is crazy enough to do it. Even if this gets his face messy and bloody, even if it means that your scent makes his eyes water from the intensity of it and even if you reach down and pull his hair. You pull so hard, so desperately and it does nothing. Taehyung fucks your sensitive pussy with his nose as deep growls vibrate against it. And while he grinds his perfect nose against your throbbing clit, his dripping tongue fucks your hole at inhuman speeds. He needs to get everything. Every single droplet of your taste. He is delirious from the sweetness, bruising your thighs on accident because of how tightly he grips you.

“Fuck, your taste”, he is cursing, growling the words against your cunt. It means a lot when he curses. He only does so when he is especially emotional. And right now every single emotion runs on nothing but you and your taste. He is consumed by you just as much as he consumes you. He doesn’t even care about etiquette, dirtying his face as he slurps loudly. 

Taehyung is a very mannerly feeder. Not many vampires carry such etiquette when they feast, but Taehyung likes to be orderly and neat. He rarely gets his face dirty, let alone make obscene sounds, but you make him forget about every single thing he ever learned about manners. He needs to get dirty, he needs to be disgusting and loud and consume your every drop. 

Too long he had to go without your taste and now that he finally has it again – in such a wonderful way on top of it – he is greedy. Manners be damned, he needs to eat you until you have nothing more to give. 

“Oh god Tae, oh god, oh god”, you are gasping and chanting and fighting for air, pulling at his hair even if you know that it is fruitless. He is locked onto your pussy. No hair pulling in the world could get him away from you now. His nose is punishing your clit for crimes she never committed while his mouth sucks and licks you dry. 

This is the level of desperation you wanted from him and now that you have it, it feels like too much. Not in a way where you truly want him to stop, but in a way which will force you to orgasm even if you had no intention of doing so already.

“You’re the worst, oh god urgh”, you choke out and break, suffocating him with your pussy as he forces you to orgasm. You gasp for air, sob, “you’re so mean. Tae please.”

Taehyung growls into you, pulling you closer. He can’t breathe, at least not normal air. The scent of your blood and orgasm is the only air he receives. He regrets his entire life at this moment because he wonders why he didn’t think of eating your pussy during your period sooner. Oh he missed out on so much. What a fool he was. He presses himself closer, searches for more of your taste even if you are flinching in overstimulation.

“Please a break, please”, you beg, writhing in agony, “please Sir, please!”

Taehyung breaks away from you even if it is difficult. You begged for it and he can’t deny you. He fixes your positions again, making it so you are resting with your head facing the headboard and he is between your legs. It’s so easy for him to push and pull you around. Especially when he has you so weakened from pleasure.

He is pressing his clothed cock against your thigh while his ruined mouth attacks your nipples. He is rubbing his face against them first, soiling your skin with your blood just so he can lick it off of you. He needs to cover every inch of you in your red nectar just to lick it off. Oh how he needs it. 

“Oh god, Tae you are so mean”, you get out breathlessly, “I, I didn’t want to cum. Oh god.”

“Do not speak to me of cruelty when you exist to ruin me”, he gets out, lifting his head, “why would you do this to me? Why?” he is asking you, cupping your face to shake your head in desperation, “what have I ever done to you? Tell me.”

You look at him. His face is a mess, covered in your blood. It soaks parts of his hair as well and sticks to spots on his throat. His eyes are dark red, bordering black and his face is just slightly contorted as his monstrous side fights for dominance. You know that he is winning by only a hair’s width right now.

“Why must you do this to me? Isn’t it enough that I dedicate my every fiber to you? Why must you seduce me with your bleeding heaven? Why?” he asks you and presses his cock against your pussy.

“Tae”, you squeak, flinching in reaction. He feels so heavy and big, grinding down on you even if you are so incredibly sensitive.

He thrusts into you as if he was already fucking you, sliding his hands to the crown of your head. He holds you with enough strength that you have to look at him if you wanted to or not.

“I need you to push me away”, he croaks, “push me away. It is the only way to stop me from ripping my clothes off and fucking you until you have to relearn how to walk.”

The thing is. The small break he gave you as he sucked your nipples and begged for answers you didn’t possess, was enough for you. You want more. You want him. All of him.

“I don’t want to push you away”, you tell him, reaching up to open his shirt.

“Don’t do this. Don’t do this if you aren’t ready to bear the consequences”, he warns you, dropping your face to instead twist the pillow. The voices are screaming at him. Claim her! She is yours to take, so take her! It is so difficult to stay human when remnants of your taste still linger on his tongue.

You pull open his shirt and touch his nipples. Taehyung growls. 

“Don’t. I am warning you”, he gets out. 

Your lips curl into a dangerous smirk, “you can teach me how to walk, can’t you? Sir.”

“Fuck”, he breaks. He rips his own clothes off his body before claiming the space atop you. He grips your leg and pulls you close, slapping his heavy cock against your pussy in an almost punishing way. 

You flinch and moan softly, feeling your senses blur. It hurts, but you like it. Taehyung does it again, forcing incredible pleasure through your pussy. 

“Do you really want this?” he asks as he repeatedly drags his cock through your swollen folds, ending it with an aggressive spank to your clit each time.

“Yes”, you sigh, parting your legs further and arching your tits closer to him.

“Beg me.”

“Please Sir, please”, you beg gladly. 

“You’re such a good little slut. I trained you so well”, he lulls and pushes his thick cock past your soaked entrance. He slips in without resistance, forcing a trembling breath to slip past his lips, “such a good slut”, he presses out, scrunching his nose in pleasure.

He hits your limit. You are so much tighter than on other days. Taehyung still has a good two inches he could fit. The thought turns him on so much. That he fills you out to your literal brim and he still has more to offer. And he is only showing off his human size right now. He is so big. Oh, how it fills him with pleasure and confidence.

“Oh”, you let out, growing limp underneath him. Your eyes flutter closed.

“Keep your eyes open”, he orders darkly.

You obey even if it is difficult.

“That’s better. Keep them on me”, he speaks demandingly, fucking his huge cock into you in dragged-out, maddening strokes, “I need you to look me in the eyes as you realise what all of this begging will get you. You think you can handle me? You think that not pushing me away is a good idea? That I will not completely rewrite your definition of pleasure? Sweetest, you have driven me to the brink of insanity with your endless begging”, he rasps, curling his lips back to show off the two pairs of fangs in his mouth. You know what this means and how feral you have gotten him.

“Tae”, you sob, grabbing his chest because this is as far as your weakened arms can go.

“What’s the matter? Does it hurt?” he asks. Even now he checks up on you. Even when he speaks of insanity and looks like a monster, he checks up on you. Bear in mind, the question carried a hint of teasing to it, but more than anything it was honest and came from a loving heart.

“No”, you whimper.

“But?”

“You feel so good”, you wail, squeezing your eyes shut as your body trembles in pleasure.

“Mhhm sweetest”, Taehyung purrs, burying himself deeper inside you. He is holding back tonight. You are so tender inside, your changed anatomy allows for his human size to barely fit. If he allowed the monster to take over, he fears that he might rip you apart. He could never rip you apart, even if the voices tell him to. No, he won’t let them win. He will break you in his way. Fuck you until your spirit is broken and you exist for him. This is so much more fun either way.

So he fucks slow and he fucks precise. He knows a woman’s body well enough to be aware that sometimes less is more. That all a woman needs are precise, attentive grinds against her spots so deep inside.

His own instincts tell him to fuck fast, to drill you and reshape your insides, but he knows not to rush it. Drag it out. He is still in control of the voices. Drag it out. Keep the hunt going. This isn’t the last time he will taste you tonight. The feed isn’t over. This is just another part of the chase.

The attentive, precise fuck he gives you is hard to handle. You think that you could manage a lot better if he drilled you like a dumb animal. But this? This ruins you on another level. You claw at his chest and try to get him closer by wrapping your legs around him. You manage to drape them over his thighs weakly and that is as far as you can go before the mindnumbing pleasure makes you shake.

“Tae”, you sob, spilling tears and scrunching your face up while Taehyung looks at you with a sense of tranquillity surrounding him. You are so ruined while he barely lets it show.  

“Look at me”, he says into the symphony of moans and shaky breaths.

You obey even if it is hard.

“Did I ever tell you why I am calling you my sweetest?” he asks.

“No”, you whimper.

Taehyung leans closer, letting his hot breath swirl over your lips. His cock bends and stretches you out even more. 

“Because there is no taste sweeter than you”, he rasps and purrs, writing his name on your deepest spots while his eyes flash up bright red.

“Tae”, you squeakily beg, “Tae, I need to cum again.”

“Yes? Just like this? I am barely even moving and it is making you climax?” 

“Yes”, you whimper.

“Of course it does. You are such a good little slut for big cock. I know you darling, you’re so sensitive and so overstimulated and yet you still beg for more”, he speaks tauntingly while his cock makes the sweetest love to your deepest spots. The pleasure sits in your tummy. So, so deep that it gets hard to concentrate. You feel on fire and he hasn’t even broken you yet. 

“Hm, sweetest? Are you my greedy cock slut?”

You nod your head. 

“Then tell me or I’ll stop fucking you.”

“I’m…greedy- ah”, you squeeze your eyes shut, “you’re making me cum.”

“Not so fast”, Taehyung slows down but moves his hips just right to keep you on edge. The build-up isn’t ruined, but dragged out for as long as he sees fit.

“Please”, you squeak.

“Use your words and I will reward you. Come now, don’t disobey me”, he encourages you, caressing your cheek gently.

You try again because you don’t want to disobey him. 

“I’m your, ah, your cock slut. Ah, Tae please. Please let me cum, please.”

“You are such a good girl. Sir is so proud of you. My bestest girl”, he praises and rewards you with deep, circular motions against your sensitive spots. This is going to break you and he knows it.

“I’m cumming. Tae, thank you”, you sob and arch your back, “ah! Tae!”

“That’s it. You’re doing such a good job. That’s my good girl. That’s it”, he is talking you through it, dragging out your orgasm to the point where you grip the sheets and twist them. 

But Taehyung isn’t satisfied. Yes you are gripping the sheets, but this is not what you should grip. Not when his body is right there. Unmarked. He isn’t done with you yet until he has you hurting him from pleasure.

“I am not done with you yet”, he is purring his words, keeping an obsessive grip on your left hip, “tell me to stop. Tell me to fucking stop, I can’t do it on my own.”

“Don’t stop, please.”

“Shit”, Taehyung growls and takes your hands just to pin them above your head. He speeds up his hips, finally using momentum to drill his cock into you. It sounds wet. So wet. Embarrassingly wet even. And harsh. His skin connects with yours in loud slaps while the springs of his bed creak in protest. Truly, it is a wonder that the furniture in this estate survived as long as it did.

“Oh god”, you gasp and writhe, “oh god, oh god, oh god. Ah!”

“Tell me to stop. Tell me, darling”, he is panting, staring at you with deep red eyes. Your blood is lingering on his skin and filling his nose with a maddening scent. Your orgasm sticks to his cock and mixes with your sweet scent. You are pulsating in your afterglow, burning hot because he doesn’t allow the fire to die down. He is so furiously desperate for you. 

You shake your head.

“Faster please”, you beg.

“This is not what you were supposed to say. Oh, you greedy, insatiable woman. I can’t stop”, he rasps and moans, dropping on top of you and knocking a squeak out of you. 

He reaches above your hands, growling into your neck. His long fingers grip the pillow and twist. The cover rips within a second. His back muscles flex and twitch as his body shudders in the pleasure of being with you. 

“I can’t stop myself”, he growls and picks you up. He runs with you in his arms and on his cock until your back hits something icy.

You squeak, looking around yourself. You are outside his bedroom, fucking against the tall windows of his corridor. Outside the night is dark and ominous while inside, Taehyung takes you against the cold windows in a pitch black corridor. The only light source is his bedroom. The door is thrown open from his strength, the golden light paints a rectangle on the marble floor and red carpet. It hues Taehyung’s body in it as well, creating a play of shadow and light. His pearls of sweat are glistening in it, while his black, pulsing veins seem especially dark and throbbing. He lifts his head from your neck, giving view to the deep red of your blood, his burgundy eyes and the ebony mess of his hair sticking to his features. 

“Tae”, you keen, feeling light-headed. The coldness of the window feels miniscule in comparison to the fire he lets you experience.

“I have to take you against every surface of this wing until the very fibres of this building know your every moan”, he chokes out as he bounces you on his cock. Quick and punishing. Your tits bounce, your pussy squirts red pleasure and your limbs can barely hold on. You throw your head back and wail. 

Wail in pleasure because nothing feels better right now than Taehyung's cock reshaping your insides. 

“Yes darling, show them. Show them how my good girl sounds as I fuck her.”

“Tae I have to- again!”

“Climax as often as you need to. I won’t stop you.” 

“Tae!”

And as you shake in his arms and soil his entire lower body with your bloody orgasm, Taehyung slows down to drag it out again. He fucks you deep, slow and punishing until you claw at his shoulders to the point of open scratches. And then, only then, he pulls you closer. Your back leaves the window, his cock fills you up so deep. Movement. Clattering of stuff hitting the ground. Next, wood under your body and Taehyung holding your legs apart.

This is the drawer he keeps by the entrance of his wing. Normally he keeps his outdoor essentials on it, but they are currently on the floor as he uses the piece of sturdy furniture to fuck you into a state of senselessness. The light of the atelier shines onto the corridor and gives you a chance to see what he is doing. Not that you have a lot of your vision at this point.

“Every surface darling, every single surface until you tell me to stop”, he growls. His dark hair is hanging into his ruby eyes, giving him an aura of danger. You know him to be of no danger to you, finding the view nothing but arousing instead. You are scared though, not of him of course, but of the immense pleasure he makes you feel. No human should feel this good and yet you do. Truly, you are so scared, craving more until you can’t anymore.

“Tae please, Tae…”

He pulls his cock out and pumps it angrily. It is messed up in your blood, dripping translucent desperation. Taehyung uses the sinful concoction to pleasure himself while his crazed eyes flit to your pussy. 

“You’re gaping”, he assess and growls, “my pretty gaping slut. My cock ruined you and it’s not even my true size.”

He is using contractions. Taehyung rarely uses them. You have him ruined, you truly have. 

“Sir, I’m your cock slut”, you mewl, writhing desperately.

“Fuck, I want to break you.”

Thump.

He fell to his knees before you, connecting his mouth with your pussy instantly. Well fucked and creamed with his taste. Taehyung moans and slips his tongue as deep as possible. His taste of possession mixes with your blood. He growls, fucking his own cock sore from how angrily he jerks himself. He feels like an animal right now. His vampiric nature has a hold of him, there is not an ounce of sanity left in him. The only thing which keeps him grounded, is the punishing handjob he gives himself. The pain and roughness of it keeps him with you.

Taehyung isn’t the only one who experiences pain right now. You are so sensitive that his tongue feels like torture on your pussy. A torture you chase with weak squirms of your hips.

“Slow please”, you beg without meaning it, gripping the edge of the dresser, “please, ah! Please!” 

Taehyung lifts his lips for your sake. He puts your feet on his shoulders, looking up at you even if you have your head rolled to the side weakly. 

“Keep breathing for me”, he orders you and dives back down. 

“How should I- ah!” you arch your back, digging your feet into his shoulders as you try to squirm. He is dragging his tongue through your folds quickly, taking advantage of the position to really taste every inch of you. You squirm, “please slow, please.”

“Breathe darling, breathe”, he murmurs against your pussy and concentrates his licks on your clit. 

“Oh god, Tae”, you wail, dropping into the hard dresser in defeat. You have to take what he gives you. You signed up for this and now you are paying the sweetest consequences. 

The last few orgasms sat deep and didn’t originate from your clit. No, Taehyung dragged them out of you from the deepest parts of your cunt. He doesn’t need the most obvious spot to make you shake and because he doesn’t, the stimulation he gives you right now feels especially good. Your clit was so left out, so neglected it felt as if he was edging it. And now you have his burning, slickened-up tongue frenching it aggressively. 

“Slow please”, you beg, trying to breathe. 

The only reason why you beg for him to slow down is because it is so goddamn embarrassing how fast you orgasm with him. You managed to take in one song coming from his atelier’s record player and then you are already fighting for your right to sanity. Please, just once you want to have to fight for your orgasm. Just once, you want to feel as if it will never come. 

“Sir. Tae Sir. Please.”

But of course Taehyung doesn’t listen. Because Taehyung isn’t human right now and you are his feast. Taehyung hates being interrupted when he feeds. And so you are destined to find your downfall at the tip of his dripping tongue while the very fibres of this building learn the sound of your moans. And so you scream and wail and beg him for mercy. And Taehyung doesn’t listen until he has you filling his throat with your squirt. It mixes with your blood and forces Taehyung to climax all over his hand.

He growls into your pussy, scrunching his face because the orgasm feels like torture. He purposefully doesn’t allow it to feel good. He crushes his own balls and slaps his own cockhead because this is what keeps him human. He can’t allow himself to enjoy his heaven when this could mean your downfall.

“Sir! Please! It hurts! Ah please!”

You wonder if people outside can hear you. You are so close to his exit after all. 

Taehyung doesn’t give you time to think of this possibility as he keeps you with him the second your endless orgasms stopped. He picks you up from the dresser and the next time you find yourself feeling at least a little sane, you are in his atelier, sitting on his lap as he occupies his couch. He uses said couch to pose you or Jungkook in the most beautiful position. Most of the time, they are very sensual poses however if you are allowed to be blunt for a second. 

You drop into him, trembling atop his lap. His body is wet. Sweat, blood, squirt and his own cum. The sensations overwhelm you, forcing you to sob and tremble. Taehyung soothes it by running his hands up and down your back.

“Are you still enjoying this, darling? You are shaking so much”, he is checking up on you again. He treats you so fucking good.

You nod your head, twisting his hair weakly.

“Please more, please”, you beg him, drooling all over his shoulder because you can’t swallow anymore. Not when he has broken you so, so good.

“Such a greedy slut”, he says and picks you up to sit you down on his cock. He has grown into his vampiric size by now, resulting in him having to carry you as he moves you up and down on his length. You couldn’t possibly take him all. Not when you are already so entirely destroyed from everything he did to you. He doesn’t mind that he has to carry you. On the contrary, it is so utterly arousing to him to use you as his personal little fleshlight. Well-fucked, gaping and dripping sweet blood. There is no toy more perfect than you. 

“Oh god”, you get out, pressing yourself closer to him. You can feel the remnants of his orgasm smearing all over your walls. It sounds so wet. You are so tight and swollen that it makes the nastiest sucking sounds each time he moves you up. 

This wasn’t a good idea. You thought that you still had an orgasm in you, but you were wrong. The thought exhausts you. You can’t give him any more. You are used up. Utterly and truly used up.

“I can’t cum anymore”, you get out, crying tears, “please don’t make me cum again, oh god.”

“Keep being good for me. I promise, it’s not long anymore”, he encourages you, meeting his movements in the middle by rolling his hips up. 

“Tae”, you whimper, soiling his skin with your tears, “sensitive. I can’t cum anymore.”

“I know darling, I know. You’re so good, such a good girl. I have to climax again. I’m almost there, keep being good for me.”

“Oh god”, you croak and hug him desperately, “Tae…”

“Almost there, darling”, he breathes and squeezes your buttocks, “help me, mhm? Do you want to help me reach it?”

“Yes, Sir. Please.”

“That’s my good toy”, he praises and kisses your cheek, “cover your fingers in your blood and feed it to me.”

You follow his orders happily, reaching behind yourself to drag your fingers through the mess your bodies make between your legs. More. You bury two of your fingers in your pussy even if his cock is already taking so much of you. 

“Yes”, he growls, throbbing deep inside, “oh, so tight”, he sighs under his breath, tilting his head back as a guttural moan leaves him. 

You slip your fingers out, staring at them with teary eyes. They are so messy, covered in thick blood. Taehyung stares at them as well, tightening his grip on your body as his hips chases your heat. 

Your eyes meet. 

He sticks his tongue out. Fangs appeared on his lower teeth as well, glistening in the lights. 

“Tae”, you whimper and press your fingers down on his tongue. 

He growls and closes his mouth around them, rolling his eyes back in bliss. He doesn’t bother closing his lids, keeping them open halfway to give view of his ruined state. He growls and moans, growls and moans, sucks, thrusts his hips and whimpers. His once deep, demonic voice switches into the highest, most desperate squeak and seconds later you feel him filling you with his hot cum. 

You are so sensitive that even his cum painting your walls feels like too much. You drop your head on his shoulder, losing your every strength as Taehyung pumps you full of his orgasm. 

Your fingers slip out of his mouth once he has to gasp for air.  

“Oh heavens”, he lets out, lifting you off his cock just to drop you atop his lap. His cun squirts everywhere instantly. 

He wraps his arms around you tightly, shuddering in his intense afterglow, “oh my darling”, he breathes, burying his face deep in the crook of your shoulder, “how are you doing?”

“I don’t know”, you whimper, “Sir, please don’t let go.”

Taehyung hugs you tighter, soothing your trembles with tender hands running over your body. 

“I am right here, my darling. Oh, how well you did. How proud I am of you”, he speaks sweetly, washing away the aches from your heart.

Sex like tonight often times leaves you feeling embarrassed and disgusted at yourself. You can’t explain it and it isn’t your lovers’ fault. It is just hard to accept that you let yourself go in such ways once the ecstatic pleasure clears from your mind. If Taehyung would let go of you right now, you would have an actual mental breakdown. You need his comfort like you need air. 

And Taehyung knows that you need it. He is shaken himself, feeling ruined from the sex and dizzy from the blood high. He needs to hold and be held just as much as you do, but he is also aware that you need so much more comfort than he does. 

“You did so well”, and so he praises you, kisses your shoulder and sways you gently, “you are so precious and worthy of so much love. Oh darling, how much I love you.”

You release a trembling breath and with it so much pressure on your heart. Taehyung soothes the aches in your neck with a gentle hand, pressing a kiss to your shoulder as his whispers continue. 

“I am so blessed, my sweetest darling. Thank you so much for giving me a right to your beautiful body. Oh, how I want to spend every remaining second of this day worshipping it.”

You giggle. Warmth fills Taehyung’s heart. He helped you through the hardest part of coming back. He chuckles with you, turning your head gently to press a kiss to your cheek and next your closed eyelid. You scrunch your face, chasing him with a happy giggle shaking your shoulders.

He giggles as well, smiling against your skin. 

“My good girl”, he whispers, pecking your cheek, “my sweetest darling. Mhm, my sweet ___.”

“Tae”, you sigh, nudging his cheek with your nose before lifting your head to meet his eyes. You are basically glowing in happiness, “Tae…”

“Yes, my darling?”

“Thank you”, you say and scrunch your nose, “I feel so good.”

“Yes?” he smiles, cupping your cheek, “I feel good as well, my darling. You make me so proud.”

You giggle, leaning into his palm. You close your eyes and sigh, letting your shoulders fall in relaxation.

“Should we take a shower, my darling?” he offers. 

“Yeah”, you nod your head, peeling your eyes open. You snicker, cupping his cheeks, “you’re so dirty. Oh god, Tae there’s blood everywhere.”

“I know, it’s wonderful”, he says and smiles playfully, “I hope that is just your period. I made sure to be careful, but you were so tender today.”

“You were perfect. It didn’t hurt at all”, you assure him and wiggle your shoulders, “I’m so happy. I really like it when you are rough with me and this was perfect.”

“Yes, yes it was perfect for me as well”, Taehyung says and hugs you close. He stands up with you in his arms, “I shall take care of you and then we shall find sleep in the library.”

“Yes, wow”, you gasp, “can you read me a story then?”

“I will read you not one, but two stories my darling”, he says, making you giggle and snuggle closer. 

“Maybe three?”

“Of course, oh what a question. I will read you even four stories.”

“Wow”, you snicker and squeeze him gently, “I’m happy.”

Taehyung smiles, bouncing you in his arms gently to tighten his grip.

“I’m happy as well, darling”, he tells you, making a promise to himself to dedicate tonight solely to your happiness.

He will do an amazing job. He is your perfect darling after all.

[taegularities]

silk & stones | kth (m)

Summary: “Taehyung was a writer… he was a writer indeed.”

Kim Taehyung knows his way around words – they cast a spell on your heart and mind, leave you gasping dangerously fast. Until the mystery behind his persona unveils and his touch, along with his words, becomes a vivid memory.

➳ pairing: Taehyung x reader ➳ rating: 18+ ➳ genre: strangers to lovers, writer!au; angst, fluff, smut ➳ warnings: writer + violinist tae 🥺 who’s a gentleman in the 19th century, brief mention of injuries/a mental institution, misunderstandings, heartbreak, secrets, grief, much poetry (and my attempt at writing a poem, pls spot), much disgoosting fluff, flirting and lots of sexual tension; explicit sexual content: 2 sex(y) scenes, fingering on a boat, choking, teasing, begging, praising, soft dom!tae, big dick!tae, tiddie fondling/sucking, some manhandling, dirty talk, they’re just so cute :((, oral (f. and m. receiving), some masturbation, oc is into neck kisses, some biting, fingering, hair pulling, asking for permission :(, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex (it’s the 19th century...), aftercare; there’s quite some angst ok; lmk if i forgot smth !! ➳ word count: 27k (💀) ➳ a/n: damn, this one was a lottt and i’m even somewhat proud i managed to post it cos i was dreading doing so LMAO. but my baby @hobisuniverse​ didn’t just beta it, but encouraged me so so much, too. i love you to the moon and back, my love 🥺 hope y’all enjoy !! as always, feel free to pop into my inbox and talk to me, it means the world to me <33

➳ listen to the S&S playlist for the full experience 🤍 

TAGLIST | MASTERLIST | WIPs

You thought there was insanity behind the idea of fate until you met Kim Taehyung.

You’ve never been big with words, despite being the proud owner of a dusty pile of books. Most of those, you must have read half a dozen times; a handful of those, you can recite by heart.

When you were little, your parents used to warn you that you might corrupt your mind if you read about fate, love and the drivel under the stars too much. That when you grew up, you’d not be able to distinguish between reality and wishful thinking anymore.

You always said that reality was too sour, too close, and that you couldn’t forget it if you indulged in the thickest novel known to humankind and never looked up from it again.

And anyway – fairytales aren’t real. And fate isn’t real. How could you grant those things much weight, connect them to reality when there was no actual proof of their existence?

At least that’s what you used to preach… but then came a day.

One you might even call fateful now that you think back.

THEN

Kim Taehyung was no artist, but he knew how to draw clean, dazzling lines on paper.

He’d always been big with words. Small and large ones; simple and fancy ones; verbal or written; loud or silent. The moment his eyes first caught yours, the words he whispered were quiet, a little hushed – nevertheless, chaotic. Like he’d collected all twenty-six letters on his tongue at once and rearranged them to describe whatever aura you emanated.

For Taehyung, nothing was truer or realer than fate.

With time, you’d come to realise that if you’d chosen a different branch of the fork on your road, the night would have turned out entirely different. Small happenings sometimes affect which drink you choose, or who you speak to, maybe even how your mood changes over the course of the event.

But this time, you might have found yourself elsewhere weeks later, had even one dust particle been out of place. Because you could have chosen a different path – easily.

Two hours of loneliness were catching up to you. One of your customers had recommended that you leave your house for a bit, informing you that the annual town hall festival was going to take place today.

“I wouldn’t have anyone to escort me to it,” you’d told her.

You couldn’t deny that you were crafting excuses to talk yourself out of it, but you knew she was right. Your days consisted of uneventful, quiet afternoons, and you worked your way through them until the horizon darkened and stars emerged again.

But your customer remained stubborn and convincing, wiggling a wrinkled finger as she said, “You don’t need to! Not every woman needs a man to court her. Try going alone. You will see the world with different eyes.”

And perhaps she was right about your confidence and your endurance; you did not need a man or woman to keep you entertained. But the event itself – if it had been more adventurous and not filled with guests who ogled you until you shrunk into yourself, you might have enjoyed it more.

You had your next thirty minutes already planned: find food, eat, leave. And with a hand on your rumbling stomach, you walked past the drunk, rich politicians and stopped at the table that portrayed an infinite line of finger food.

Then again, balanced harmony only remains so long.

You had barely decided which snack to pick up first when someone stepped next to you. Your eyes rocketed to the man, dressed fully in white. His trousers were blinding, a white shirt tucked in, an angelic coat draped over his shoulders; a contrast to the starry eyes and pitch black hair.

“Have you tried one of those?”

His voice chimed from the depths of his chest. Low and calm, inviting and rich. It almost didn’t suit his gentle face, and you opened your eyes further. Wondered if those words had actually come from him.

“I cannot even say what that is,” you answered, pointing to a small delicacy, covered in what you assumed was parsley. “I can’t name any of those.”

“Well, let me educate you. This is ham,” the man explained, lifting one of the snacks between two of his fingers. They were endless; long enough to capture your attention. “On… uhh… something.”

“Something, yes?”

You laughed when he did – his chuckle was strong, contagious and delightful. A man like him wasn’t easy to miss in an uninteresting crowd. Perhaps it was the bright attire he wore; but most of all, you couldn’t think of a single man you had ever laid eyes on, as beautiful as him.

And oddly enough, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d seen him before.

“It tastes impeccable, is all I know,” he continued, chatty and in a good mood, “and if you pour yourself a glass of rosé, it’s even better.” He paused, tilting his head in thought. “Actually. Let me pour you some.”

“Oh, I– I was going to eat a little and then go home.”

“Home? The night has barely started, though.”

“But,” you argued, shaking your head in disappointment, “I’m bored. There’s nothing to see here… or at least, nothing interests me.”

He laughed again, and your gaze froze on the small crinkles around his eyes for a moment. Then wandered to the rectangle grin. When he straightened his priorly tilted head, his fine, dark hair strands fell into place again, covering his sight, parted in the middle.

“Something is always happening. The question is just who’s interested in it,” he said, placing a snack on his tongue elegantly, twirling the glass of wine in his hand. “I’m Taehyung. But,” he winked, nodding, “don’t tell anyone.”

“Why not?”

Taehyung.

Taehyung?

Where did you know his name from?

“I like to wander around. See places. And it’s nice when people don’t recognise me right away,” he explained, looking around the golden lit room and into the cheerful crowd, “though some did ramble their hearts out to me tonight.”

You were confused – and curious. Hardly able to contain this very curiosity, you asked, “Recognise you? Are people supposed to?” Taehyung hesitated, blinking at you, so you added, “What’s your full name?”

“Uh.” He halted for a moment, peeking into his glass. Then, he flashed a smirk, looked into your eyes with newfound confidence and answered, “Kim Taehyung.”

“Kim Taehyung, do I know you?”

“I don’t know. Do you?” he questioned, cocking an eyebrow in amusement. “But I wrote some novels a few years back, though under a different name. Perhaps you have seen illustrations and photographs of me somewhere. To be honest,” he leaned in, laughing, “most people here haven’t really read my stuff, but they hear professional writer, and go mad.”

A writer. A novelist?

You reckoned that was why he seemed so familiar to you – and why every girl’s eyes lingered on him that passed by the table, tangled in someone else’s arm. Maybe you had seen his work in one of the bookstores you frequented.

“I’m sorry. You’re probably not used to clueless people like me,” you said, watching him walk to the other side of the table to pour you the same wine as him. “I came to this town a few years ago, but I don’t know that many people here. Thank you.”

You took the glass gratefully, disregarding the rule of the night that you weren’t going to drink. But the liquid courage tasted heavenly, like a piece of a garden dissolving on your tongue.

“You came here alone?”

“I did,” you answered, nodding, “for my education. But I never went back. I lived with my aunt, and she took care of me as long as she could, but… she didn’t make it past last year. So now I am here, in her house, still tending to her plants and dishes.”

“That’s remarkable,” Taehyung praised, fascinated and curious, “and what is it that you do?”

You couldn’t remember the last time a man had approached you with an interest like he did. Most of those you knew were straightforward, complimented your lips or your skin; hooded eyes that thought they were charming your feet off, but all they did was burn your skin alive.

Gulping, you turned to look at him, stepping back from the table when other guests flooded to the food in groups, “I used to work as a teacher. Taught children. But now I have a home-based thing where I stitch dresses.”

“Unusual,” Taehyung remarked, “but I like it.”

“My parents aren’t tied to community standards as much as they're expected to,” you clarified, suddenly missing your father’s words and your mother’s lullabies with a prominent ache, “they’re proud of what I do.”

“Then I am, too,” he joked, and your heart leapt, indulging in his saccharine voice. But then, he smirked and said, “Not everyone can stitch a dress that hugs a body this beautifully.”

Your shoulders and your hand dropped. If the glass hadn’t been empty already, you would’ve tainted his polished shoes. The corners of his lips fell when yours did, and you rolled your eyes, clicking your tongue before you said, “And when I thought you’re one of the decent ones.”

“What?”

You placed the glass on the table and wrapped your scarf around your shoulders. Shaking your head, you complained, “You’re handsome and amusing. And kind. So of course there would be a vice.”

“A vice?” Taehyung voiced, furrowing his eyebrows. His feet followed yours, eyes staring past you to realise that you were leaving the event. “What are you talking about?”

“It’s a man's world and we’re puppets. That’s alright. Men will receive compliments on their brains and their studies and how they built an entire business from scratch,” you continued, surprised when one of his big steps equaled your fast but small ones. “But we’re just bodies and pretty ones at that, and that’s all you will be able to compliment about m– oh, and I did not stitch this dress, by the wa–”

“Listen,” Taehyung stepped in front of you, barriering the entrance. You looked away, not quite fuming, but sufficiently irritated to seem so. “That was not what I meant at all. I told you you’re remarkable.”

“And that wasn’t to build up to the actual courting?”

He shook his head, clearly in disbelief and uttered, “Writers choose words carefully. Right? I wouldn’t say anything to you I don’t mean. Besides,” looking up and down, he shrugged his shoulders, folding his hands behind his back, “would it be so terrible if I courted you? For your beauty and for your brain?”

You pouted but felt the heat leave your head gradually, clutching your scarf as you mumbled, “Do you reckon I’m smart?”

“Of course I do.”

“Not just pretty?”

“Gorgeous. But not just that.”

You raised your chin, still careful but melting somewhere inside. You pressed your lips into a thin line before you let out an exhale, whispering, “Fine.”

Opting to walk away, you raised your dress, but he took the same step sideways as you, stopping you in your tracks once again.

“Listen…” he repeated, breathing in, “I can prove it to you. That I don’t only care about how you look.”

You sighed, relaxing your heart, your voice calmer and softer when you said, “It’s fine, Mister Kim. You don’t need to write me a novel or anything. We’re fine.”

“I didn’t want to. I haven’t written in a long time. Or well, I am working on something right now, but,” he sucked in another deep inhale, opening his palms, “the point is. Spend some time with me. I would enjoy getting to know more about you than your occupation. If you allow me?”

Regarding him with a suspicious look, you carved a crease between your eyebrows; endeared by the innocent dart of his tongue to wet his lips, but wary of his overall words and tone.

“I don’t know you,” you claimed, “I met you ten minutes ago.”

“I know, but,” he shifted from one leg to the other, laughing nervously, “every relationship, no matter between whom, starts with knowing them just for ten minutes.”

Squinting, you leaned closer; he couldn’t help but snicker at your childlike expression, and you leaned back with an even more magnificent pout as you inquired, “You won’t abduct me?”

“Abdu– do I look like–”

“Alright. I’ll allow it,” you said, finally gracing him with a smile. You looked kinder, softer when you wore a beam like this – like you couldn’t be feisty if you wanted to. But to know that you were, was luring him in a little more. “Where?”

“Hmmm.”

Taehyung bit the inside of his cheek, rummaging through his memories and places he had seen. And then, he clapped his large hands once, lighting up in enthusiasm.

“There is a massive architecture, very Roman or Greek. Numerous pillars.”

“Yes…?”

“Does Nary Hill sound good?”

Taehyung lived in a cube made of glass.

The walls of it were robust glass. The ceiling was unbreakable glass. The door was made of thick glass; and when he opened the windows, he did so carefully. The cube was sparsely decorated with barely any furniture inside – it lacked vibrancy, a monotone colour palette that only ever shone in different hues when Taehyung let the sun shine a bit.

So when you strolled to him on the agreed upon Sunday morning, he thought the glass of the cube broke a tiny crack. Instead, walls of firm wood grew around him, darkening the room – which was ironic and somewhat odd, because writers like himself usually refer to happiness and grace through brilliance and sunshine, don’t they?

But you didn’t feel like the sun and light to him.

In your own, gorgeous way, you resembled peaceful darkness. The kind that one closes their eyes to before falling asleep, when the world is quiet and serene, worries lift and the sun has set. You felt calmer and more comforting than bright, direct sunlight blinding his eyelids.

So when you looked at him with a shy, gentle smile, unsure how to greet a stranger you’d only talked to once, you gave his imaginary cube a more profound sense of home – with its new, steady, natural, wooden walls.

Your fingers, clutching and raising your lavender dress, released the fabric once you halted in front of him. Entwining them slowly, you nodded, flashing a bright smile as your calm voice spoke, “I would’ve been here sooner, but the carriage got stuck in–”

You stopped when Taehyung sucked in a deep breath, readying yourself for a gentlemanly scolding, wrapped in words kind enough to reprimand you softly. Instead, however, he stepped forwards, pushing his back off the pillar with a gentle, welcoming smile. 

The structure you stood under was familiar to you – it resembled a Greek temple, or a hidden sight of the town. Where you stood, the sun didn’t reach. Taehyung noticed that since you’d stepped into the shadow, your features had relaxed and your shoulders dropped, as though you were relieved that the heat wasn’t burning you up anymore.

Perhaps there was a reason you were more darkness to him than light.

“I don’t mind waiting,” he said, untamed dark hair hanging into his eyes, “I spent some time thinking.”

“Thinking? What about?”

Taehyung hummed in thought. His gaze wandered from your feet to the top of your head, taking in tiny bits of your appearance that differed so much from the very first time he’d seen you. You smiled a little more confidently today; there was no trace of timid quietness, and you didn’t look like you put a limit to what you wanted to say or think.

Just like him, you felt more comfortable in this environment.

“Have you ever heard of Mary Wortley Montagu?”

You parted your lips, scouring your memory for the name. But when nothing popped up, you shrugged your shoulders, responding, “I’m afraid I haven’t.”

Taehyung crossed his arms in front of his chest. It was the first time you noticed the undone buttons of his white linen shirt, casually tucked into dark trousers. You rarely saw men dress like him – most of them ran around in pompous suits and with big hats covering their heads.

But Taehyung didn’t seem to care much about the elegant choices you saw usual suitors of yours settle on. If they'd spotted him, they would've probably scrunched up their noses and shook their heads. To you, however, his little decision was more alluring than the sweaty men regarding you with cocky smirks and approaching you with revolting statements.

“Thou silver deity of secret night… direct my footsteps through the woodland shade,” Taehyung slowly recited.

You’d think a writer like him was confident, vain, and knew the effect he had on people around him. But there was softness in his words and his expressions, a smile utterly warm when he added, “It’s a poem by her… you reminded me of the moon when I saw you, so I thought of it.”

“I did?” you questioned, cocking an eyebrow.

Your dress might have been the most summer-esque clothing you could fish out of your closet. You kept your face free of additional beautifiers, your hair in a loose bun. Why you reminded him of the moon, you couldn’t quite say, but you could interpret the funny feeling in your guts just as less.

So you let your eyes drop so as to not showcase the ocean of flattery that claimed you, but Taehyung saw it anyway; knew you were taking his words as a gentle compliment. He was delighted – and perhaps a tiny bit enamoured. 

And when he invited you to a light walk down the hill you were standing on, you finally confirmed his foolish theory that you were indeed the glowing satellite rounding your world. Because your face contorted, your smile falling and morphing into a frown of fatigue.

“We can just,” Taehyung started. You looked sweet, so lost in thoughts, trying to come up with an excuse. “Stay here, too.”

You laughed lightly, your eyebrows furrowing in guilt as you answered, “If that’s alright with you. Walking is fine, too.”

“I’m open to anything.”

He pushed up the sleeves of his shirt, and your eyes shot to the veins adorning his arms. Kim Taehyung pulled off casual beauty so effortlessly; maybe you were wrong. Maybe the men you saw on other days wouldn’t have scrunched their noses after all, but burned in envy.

You hoisted up the hem of your dress carefully, delighted when the summer air blew onto your bare ankles. Taehyung took a seat on one of the steps leading up to the temple, waiting for you to join him; and when you did, you said, “I know this is boring of me, but I promise we can get up and walk around in a few minutes. The short way up the hill was just–”

“Don’t worry about it. Meeting you was about getting to know you, not about where we are or what we do.”

“So if we’d met at the noisy, stinky market?”

“We can go right now, and I’ll prove it to you.”

Taehyung moved, lifting half his body, but you were quick to pull him down again. You giggled in unison, and you shook your head, clarifying, “But I do like it here better. I enjoy it when it’s quiet.”

Of course you did.

“Do you have a favourite place then?” Taehyung wanted to know.

When you turned your head to him, you realised the gaping hole between the two of you. Your elbows and knees didn’t touch, and he didn’t attempt to close the distance, sitting on the steps with spread legs in contrast to your gracefully straight back and folded hands.

You’d never cared about manners much – but you hadn’t ever found lax behaviour this attractive either.

But despite the fact that you could fit another human being between you, his head was lowered, cupped in his palm, and the elbow resting on a step above balanced his torso. He was listening to you, intently, awaiting an answer.

His eyes were calm and dreamy – the kind that traps you, a mythical creature’s song who eats you alive once you give in.

You feared something about Kim Taehyung.

Clearing your throat, you raised your eyebrows, “Me?”

“Yes. You.”

The tender shyness he’d sported just a minute ago vanished when you caught him staring with an amused grin. Looked like he was enjoying himself with you, genuinely curious to know what floated in your foggy, little mind.

“Hmm,” you voiced, annoyed when your thoughts blanked. It was always when someone asked questions like these that you forgot every place you’d ever been to. “I think I like my garden.”

But Taehyung was having none of it; because he puffed out some air and rolled his eyes, sat up straight and wiggled his fingers – the full package of disapproval.

He admonished, “No, no! There must be something else.” He waited, thought for a moment, then added, “Think bigger, I’d say.”

Bigger than your garden?

“Something wrong with my favourite place?”

“Absolutely not,” he answered, but still shrugged his shoulders unconvinced, “but I feel like you just don’t want to think.”

Because you couldn’t think.

It was easy to lose your string of thoughts with him. He was a thief, trained to rob one of their sanity, it seemed.

But you tried for him anyway, giving his question another go until you smiled proudly and let him know, “Fine. So at the river. If you borrow a canoe and paddle south, you get to a bridge. And that bridge is tiny.”

Taehyung nodded enthusiastically, pointing at you knowingly, a deep but semi-loud voice chiming, “I think I know what you mean! A cream coloured, small bridge that’s barely broad enough for two people to walk on!”

“Yes! But high enough to let a boat through underneath it,” you confirmed, eyes widening in delight, “so, it has the look of a fairytale, almost Grimm like object, right? And it’s usually quiet there, too. There are pathways on either side of the river, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone walking along it.”

You shot him a quick look, checking whether you were boring him yet. But the corners of his lips were still frozen in place, elation and attention apparent, caused by nothing and no one less than you.

So you continued, “I sometimes feel like no one’s ever there because nature doesn’t allow interruption or to step onto steady grounds. It lets you admire it from afar… so I do. I like looking around or reading or– or doing nothing at all while the boat floats its way along the river.”

When you silenced, it dawned on you how loud you must have been. Because suddenly, you could hear the chirping of the birds and your rapid heartbeat again, could hear it knocking against your eardrums. It didn’t seem to bother Taehyung, though.

His eyes never left the features of your face. Looked to and fro, never truly settled on one spot or one of your moles, the curves of your lips or the curl of your eyelashes.

“That’s beautiful,” he finally said.

You drew a breath, studying his movements. They seemed elegant, calculated, but you doubted he thought about them much. Taehyung was graceful without trying; you had seen it the moment he spoke to you first. And you could see it now, too.

Lowering your voice, you let your eyelids flutter, hoping he paused to look at your tiny details the way you did. Whether you were succeeding, you couldn’t quite tell. “Why did you ask?”

“I just… I thought you were a closed mystery,” Taehyung laughed, rolling around a tiny stone with the tip of his finger, “for some reason. But you’re an open book, aren’t you?”

“Hmm. I don’t like reading mysteries, so why should I be one?”

Taehyung snickered. It was the first time you heard his baritone rise in volume this much, enchanting sparks falling out of the hearty laugh. Back then, you hadn’t known that the harmless melody of his voice carried a deadly quality of haunting your nights.

He was a walking power that could split a heart into two; back then, you hadn’t known.

“Fair point,” he admitted, full lips covering his blinding teeth again when the laughter ebbed down.

“So then,” you started, uncaring of your curved back, your tilted head, the fact that you were dirtying your palms by planting them on the dusty steps, “what’s your favourite place, Kim Taehyung?”

Taehyung didn’t waste moments sinking into thoughts the way you had, because apparently, he’d expected your question, answering readily, “A glass cube.”

Ah.

What?

“A what?”

“A cube made of glass that doesn’t let any noise or sorrow in,” he explained as though it could help him clear up anything at all. His hands formed an imaginary cube, and upon seeing your confused frown, he clarified further, “It’s a mental mantra that I invented. And I know it’s ridiculous, but it helps.”

“Helps?”

“It’s peaceful. It’s nice to be alone sometimes. No noise or voices. No one to judge. Just you and your thoughts and whatever the hell you want to do,” Taehyung retorted, emphasising his cursing, “and shit, you can’t tell me that doesn’t sound nice.”

You leaned forward and placed your elbows on your thighs, folding your hands under your chin as you teased, “You couldn’t find a better place to let your thoughts retreat to?”

Taehyung looked away from you and directly into the sun. It appeared as though he was searching for something, focused and unblinking; but then, he lifted his shoulders and let them fall, looking back into the shadow.

The shadow where you sat.

Serene darkness that soothed the blindness that the star had caused. Candy to his eyes.

“Yes,” he mumbled then, “I might have.”

You didn’t question what his new personal castle was. Taehyung's gaze had always been too intense; either begging to keep secrets locked in and veiled or asking you to reveal yours. You’d soon learn that it could throw you into an endless spiral, going deeper and deeper until you felt too dizzy and unbalanced to stand on two feet.

Today, it seemed to be the former – so you didn’t prod. Reckoned he’d tell you when the time was ripe, when he felt like he could entrust his deepest thoughts to you. Right now, it was clear that he didn’t want to elaborate.

“And how does my garden not count, but your cube does?”

“I didn’t say your garden doesn’t count!” Taehyung defended, feigning irritation. He shot up to his feet, staring down at you with his fists pressing into his hips. “I just meant there must be something else, something that brings you full and irreplaceable peace. And I was right!”

Sighing, you stood, joining his stance and leaned into him, squinting as you remarked, “Writers are odd, aren’t they?”

Taehyung imitated your tiny movement, and suddenly, he was close enough to breathe against your skin. His eyes wandered to your smirk before they stared back into the depths of your pupils; and for a moment, you considered tasting whatever lingered on his tongue.

But in your adventure with Taehyung, you had barely exited the first page. A bubbly feeling in your guts told you that your lips weren’t ready just yet; that patience was a virtue, that you needed to practice it to make the moment last longer.

And perhaps he thought so, too.

Because he leaned back and straightened his posture again, stepping out of the shadow and into the sun as he told you, “Writers like mysteries. You and I are different, sweetheart.”

He was right.

Maybe you were an open book, but Taehyung was an undecodable enigma. And you might not have liked mysteries – but you wanted to dip your toes into this one.

NOW

Whenever someone close to you, who has seen you rise and fall for Taehyung, who has watched you suffer and start anew, asks you whether you’d change how things worked out, you shake your head immediately.

Despite the ruins that Kim Taehyung left you in, you don’t think you could’ve ever mustered the strength to walk away from him, even if you could have. The night when he first talked to you. When you met him on the hill, leaning against a pillar of what seemed like Greek architecture.

When you kissed him for the first time, looked at him and knew. Things you’d never thought of, things that still seem unreal to you.

For nothing in this world, you’d give up the feelings and the pain he brought, the experiences you gathered, the trust you found in people. The realisation that not everything is the way it seems at first. That you were there, unwavering, ready to take his hand.

If you could travel to the past, relive a day and change something, it wouldn’t be the fact that you got to know him, but everything you told him.

Because then you might add to the numerous conversations, whisper to him what you always wished to whisper to him.

Perhaps, you think, he’d still be here today if you had.

THEN

“This doesn’t beat your cube?”

Taehyung’s hand functioned as a shell around his ear, trying to blend out the shrill noise that echoed through the little tavern. He told you it was his favourite place, but apparently, someone had gotten engaged, hence the tumult sounding around you as though Armageddon had started.

Bodies sashayed by you in a haze, dancing and drunk, laughing and making you join their contagious joy. You couldn’t say how Taehyung had managed to drag you here, or when you’d drunk enough to feel your cheeks warm.

But the inebriation felt less daunting with him across the table, patting your arm whenever he wished for your attention. It was a subtle touch, but you rather enjoyed it – looked away on purpose just to feel it again.

“Well, it might! Honestly,” he confessed, his face flushed and fingers wrapped around his drink.

“I get why you like it here.”

“Really?”

You nodded, grimacing when a loud cheer went through the crowd; you yelled with them, lifting your cup into the air, and when it was done, the music stopped for a minute. The voices calmed down. And no matter how fun the evening was, you were thankful.

Your head was thumping.

“It’s different from you,” you told him, comparing him to the calm image of himself in the shadows for the umpteenth time tonight, “like you’re trying to escape yourself.”

At least that was what you could tell from the last two or three times you’d had the honour to spend time with him. The renowned author had told you of the importance of his glass cube and its attributes, so you didn’t expect him to pull you into this old, sordid but cheerful tavern.

His smile faltered a little, and he granted his half touched meal a single look before he stared up at you again. Dark hair dishevelled, he brushed strands of it aside, rubbed a spot on his neck, red from the heat before he said, “I think we all do sometimes.”

Slight distress coloured his starry eyes, a contrast to the rosy hues on his cheek, but before you could blink again, he was suddenly smiling again.

Small wrinkles appeared around his eyes as he digressed, “Poetry. That’s another way to escape yourself. Time passes differently when you read, and maybe you’ll come back a different person once you close a book.”

Whichever topic he was trying to head to, you played along, eager to let the remnants of the sorrowful tension between you fade. “Might be one hell of a truth if I’ve ever heard one.”

“I want to write proper poetry one day. I’m a novelist, but I’m bad at poems.”

“You still haven’t given me a book of yours to read,” you interjected, rolling your eyes, “what’s worse is that I can’t find books under your name either. I need to pull some secrets out of you, mister.”

Taehyung shot you another one of the looks you’d grown accustomed to. The one that said, ”There’s something hidden in a cubicle of my heart, but I can’t tell you about it just yet.”

And you didn’t ponder. Instead, you listened to him as he spoke again, lifting a finger with closed eyes, “And maybe this is a deep sin. My fearful soul calls often with a shudder, and yet with passionate lingering.”

“Another poem?”

“One of my favourites. Not that popular, though.”

“Why this one today?”

But sneaky and teasing as Taehyung was, he shrugged his shoulders with a tight-lipped smile, announcing, “That’s for me to know and you to find out. You’re not getting more than that.”

“That’s cryptic. It tells me nothing.”

And then he nodded, as if to say, “Exactly!”, shaping his lips into a rectangle when you leaned back with crossed arms and a playful pout. Reassuring, he patted your elbow, close to where the curve of your breasts started, and you sucked in a sharp breath.

His fingers were far from touching you the way you’d started dreaming of – yet you couldn’t help but notice the tension, the sense of nervousness, and how on edge you were around him. You didn’t know in which ways you craved him, but you knew that he’d become a lingering presence in your mind.

“Don’t worry,” he sang-song, “I want to write you a poem one day.”

“Me?”

“Mhmmm… just write down whatever comes to mind. You make me want to write those.”

“Why?”

“Because,” Taehyung began, his deep voice falling deeper, your name rolling off his tongue before he said, “poetry is gorgeous. And you’re gorgeous. Inside and out.”

“Taehyung–”

The sentence you attempted to utter, of whatever stuttering mess it would’ve consisted of, vanished into thin air when another holler of his name sounded across the room. It overshadowed your whisper and made the man in question flinch, and he turned to find another one of his friends trudging over to your table.

In his calloused fingers lay a violin, used and old, though pieces of its gracefulness remained the way they always do with gentle instruments. The man sported a beard so thick that you could barely see his lips move, but the glimmer and glitter in his eyes were vibrant enough to showcase every trace of happiness he felt.

And as far as you could tell, he liked Taehyung.

“You haven’t played for us all night!” he said, and Taehyung’s eyes blew wide.

He looked back at you as if his friend had answered a riddle unsolved hitherto. But when you gasped, obviously thrilled, some of his worries seemed to fall, like he was waiting for your permission. Asking silently whether you were okay with it.

“You play the violin?!” you squealed, eyebrows raising and a hand slamming on the table.

“Well, I… a little.”

“A little,” the bearded man retorted, a slight mock in his mature voice, “Taehyung here is just like Snow White enchanting a whole forest.” He leaned in, winking as he mumbled to you, “He sings sometimes, too.”

“No way.” Close to jumping in your seat, you wrapped a hand around his wrist, excitement flooding through you like a high tide. “Just one piece. Please?”

You looked like a doe, staring into his eyes with tiny sparks; there was innocence in your gaze, not the slightest hint of anything evil. It seemed unreal, your being and its pureness, the unfaltering good that you portrayed.

How could he say no to you?

So he stood with a sigh, pointing an accusing finger at you as he warned, “You owe me.”

He snatched the violin from his friend’s hands, the man whose name you still didn’t know, and swayed to the front of the tavern. The fancy rooms your past rendezvous had taken place in couldn’t compare to this place, you were sure.

Because of the cheers and the clinking of cups, the whistling and cheer of Taehyung’s name – you couldn’t have met this level of merriment anywhere else.

But when Taehyung placed the violin on his shoulder, lifting the bow, everyone present fell silent as though they were witnessing the event of the century. Here and there, you heard a hissed “Psst”; could feel the intense pricking up of ears.

And when he played, you knew why.

Because the melody, full of melancholy and yearning, nostalgia and affection, reverberated through your body. It struck a chord you hadn’t known yet, a rhythm so wonderful that you caught yourself sighing half a dozen times.

Your fingers wrapped around the edge of the desk, keeping you steady; you didn’t know whether it was the beer or Taehyung’s skills that were pushing you into dizziness.

His eyes were closed, eyelashes brushing his cheeks. He was pouting, focused on the rich tones he played, the crease between his eyebrows appearing and vanishing every now and then. The piece, whether his original or not, was soft and gentle, similarly to him; yet powerful, touching.

You were used to the piano; growing up, you’d heard your mother play at least one morning a week, and you’d admired the soft flutter of her fingers over the keys throughout all those years. The violin was different. It was louder, shriller – but Taehyung managed to remind you of your mother’s gentle musical abilities within seconds.

The bow in his hand shook until it hit the last note; and when the music died down, thunderous applause replaced it momentarily.

You only noticed you’d stood up when his eyes shifted to yours and your knees almost buckled. You’d clapped your hands wound, loudly and smiling, your eyes damp from the emotions two or three mere minutes had evoked in you.

Taehyung touched you with his words… touched you with music. When you held his stare, sniffling and oddly proud, you wondered how he’d feel and what he’d say if he touched your skin, too.

Because… you thought his body would wrap around yours like a dream. You imagined the same tunes would play in the background when his lips roamed your shoulders, his hands on your waist, pulling you closer.

For a moment, you pretended that you were all he saw and knew, and that the man, desired by the whole room, was your acquaintance, yours for the night – and yours only. Which didn’t mean anyone else got the hint – because as soon as he stepped off the non-existent stage, greedy hands pulled him aside.

Giggling girls immediately threw questions and compliments his way, fingers fiddling with the fabric of his clothing. One of them brushed back his soft, dark hair – you’d never touched it before, no matter how much you’d desired to do so.

You didn’t think much of it – your gaze wandered low, your mind ridding itself of thoughts about their fingers roaming his body, planting charming offers into his head. But when you looked up again, he was staring back. Never looking away.

Like he was silently pleading to skip the moment and be in your proximity again.

It took him seconds that you counted to escape the greasy grips of the hungry pack of lionesses, and his feet carried him to you in a matter of moments as he offered, “Let’s go.”

The night was still young – but you ached to be alone with him. And judging the telling smirk in his face, you assumed that he’d had enough of the chaos, too.

You felt giddy, somewhat dazed when he offered his hand and pulled you out of the tavern. And though he let your palm go once outside, you didn’t miss the blur in his eyes either. Despite the mist, however, you thought you recognised firm hardness behind the gentle, sweet honey in his pupils.

You remembered the secrets he harboured; secrets that you thought he wanted to spill, secrets you wanted to know about. But detecting the hardness, you couldn’t quite shake the feeling there was something about him that might break your heart.

No matter how lovely he was, there was still overt caution in your movements and actions that he was steadily destroying. You wanted to heed the dangerous signals his mysterious being sent, but there was also an aura of comfort surrounding him that pulled you back.

The coldness, however…

“That was wonderful,” you told him as you walked down the path, straight to where your house stood.

“I’m happy you enjoyed it.”

“Everyone did.”

“They always do. But I played it for you.”

But you wondered, if he said that every night he went there – if there was a certain someone, or a new someone he played for each time he touched the violin. Why was he not as transparent as you? Why, with the puzzles his mind consisted of, did he unconsciously plant confusion in your head?

And why, with the despair that flashed each time you detected he was hiding something, did it seem like he was not only attempting to escape himself, but his own riddles, too?

You were sure that behind his chest, there was a stone instead of a heart. That in reality, it was fear, or perhaps numbness, and that he was desperately trying to fight it.

But when he’d touched your hand, dragged you outside, his skin had felt like silk. Soft, tender. Ambiguous, dual.

Overwhelmed and figuring out why your chest burned, you could barely breathe when he escorted you home. Your arms kept brushing, fabric between you rustling. His fingers ran through his tresses, and your heart raced some more; the fuzzy feeling in your stomach made you want to scream.

Did he have poems for this emotion, too?

And you hated it when you arrived at your door, darkness engulfing the quiet night. Stars shone onto you brightly, but they weren’t enough to function as proper light. But when he moved closer… forcing you backwards… hands behind his back – you reckoned you didn’t need to see him to go insane anyway.

“I want to see you again,” he whispered, speaking over the hooting of the owls, “will you let me see you again?”

You hadn’t hinted that this was your final night together even once. You didn’t know where his sudden worries came from, but you would’ve been a fool to not soothe them.

“Yes,” you answered, tipsy and nearly panting; sure that both your breaths were mingling. At least, you could feel his warmth brush your cheeks. “I want to see you again as well.”

“You do?”

Reflexively, your shaky hand travelled up his torso and settled on his chest when he inched closer – even though his clothes covered the entirety of his skin, he felt warm, his body broad. You wondered if your touch affected him at all. Lured him in more.

But he didn’t let you know of his inner turmoil, if there was any, or perhaps you were too tired and gone to notice. The only words you registered, sounding over the thump of your heart, were, “What did you think of tonight?”

“I… I loved it.”

“Good.”

“Did you, too?”

“I don’t know,” he murmured, tilting his head slowly, “I can’t remember doing anything but looking at you.”

His fingertips touched the back of your hand, still resting on his chest as if to keep a distance between you. You’d wanted him close all night – but now you thought that if his body moved towards you just a bit more, he’d feel your chest explode.

Taehyung didn’t attempt any more tonight, though.

He smiled the way he always did; brushed aside his hair once more; readied himself to walk away. And when the ringing in your ears finally stilled, you noticed a beat against your hand.

No stone underneath his ribs after all.

Taehyung was fond of Sunday mornings, and you soon learned why.

The world was sound asleep at those early hours. On a free day, when no work or education called, people tended to sleep in and dream some longer. But not Taehyung.

He always said that indulging in dreams didn’t mean a thing if your body didn’t move an inch off the bed. Taehyung pulled his dreams from his memory and gathered them in his palm; then, he blew them into the air like glitter and followed their traces.

He made reality his dreams and lived his days chasing whatever he declared beautiful and worthy enough to chase. And beauty truly did lay in the eye of the beholder – because he found dazzling perfection in things that you didn’t before.

In small alleyways. In thunderstorms. Dirty taverns, abandoned old homes, odd looking wildflowers.

By spending time with him, you’d learnt how to value tiny moments in life and how days were about being productive. Not that it was bad to do nothing sometimes, but pretty dreams were just pretty dreams after all – hard to let go but easy to forget. 

And the endless hours you walked around with him, letting him guide you through unknown places, showed you without fail that his words were memorable when he uttered them with both your eyes open. They locked into your memory easier than when he roamed your dreams, soon becoming one himself.

Those days… that was before he’d turned things into a nightmare.

“Who can say then exactly what I feel, and maybe this is a deep sin,” Taehyung murmured, breathing in, eyes lifted to the sun.

The canoe swayed lightly, following the path of the river, and your eyes darted from water lilies to his body. His back was pressed against the low walls of the wooden boat, legs stretched and crossed. He had his trousers rolled up and the collar of his shirt danced in the summer breeze.

This was the most relaxed you’d ever seen him – you wondered if he’d truly brought you here because you’d mentioned it or because it brought him a sense of peace, too.

You didn’t know what you enjoyed more: the tranquillity and clarity he wallowed in, utterly endearing and gorgeous, or the flutter of your heart he’d caused merely an hour ago. The fog in your mind had settled with intention to stay the moment you noticed where he’d taken you.

He’d told you to cover your eyes and pulled you into a random direction, insisting that you weren’t allowed to ruin the surprise. Only, the surprise wasn’t as random as you thought – and in all honesty, having recognised the bushes and tree lines at the beginning, you somewhat guessed where he was taking you.

And suddenly, you were here, stepping into a canoe with a gaping mouth; you shook your head in delight, squeezing his hand, and thanked him a thousand times for not only his attentiveness but for bringing you genuine happiness on this Sunday morning, too.

If there were ways to fall into the abyss that he was any deeper, then you’d found at least one of them. And you couldn’t climb to the surface anymore.

“You can’t end it here,” you told him, patting his ankles from the other side of the boat. “You need to give me the whole poem or nothing.”

“That’s half the fun, though. Take it as a riddle and find out about it,” Taehyung joked, turning the smile into a candied chuckle when he heard you groan. “Fine. I’ll give you a name. Sophie Albrecht. The rest is your problem.”

“You’re incredibly insufferable.”

“I must be doing something right if you’re still here, though,” he remarked, blinking before he shot you a look. He shut one of his eyes close again, squinting at you as a finger rubbed his eyelids. “I’m seeing stars.”

“Well, that’s because you’d been ignoring me for ten minutes.”

“I was not ignoring you,” Taehyung defended, playfully outraged and shocked, “I was thinking of you.”

His flattering words hit you like a brick every single time. They erupted out of nowhere, like lava from a volcano, flooded and burned your lungs and heart beyond recognition. Bashfully, you stared back at the fish in the water, questioning, “What could you be thinking about me?”

“Right now? How the poem fits you,” he answered, leaning forward, “you and me, both.”

“Oh.”

“But…” He hesitated, followed your gaze to the fish before he stared back and you met his eyes. “I catch myself thinking about you a lot… these days.” You thought he noticed the moment your heart jumped out of your chest – because something flickered in his eyes, mirroring danger and longing, and he whispered, “You’re like a damn fever.”

Taehyung’s personality, albeit captivating, was tinged with diffidence. It showed when he brought you to new places, nervous to gauge your reaction. You saw it when you walked towards him in the first few moments. And you knew about the timidness that sometimes surfaced when he recited his poems.

But when he let his heart speak and flattered you with whatever floated through his mind, most of his nervousness faded immediately. He never feared your reactions then, because he knew he had nothing to lose – instead, he made you lose your sanity.

The chirping of birds pulled you back into reality. Your surroundings cleared and the blur dispersed, though Taehyung still enjoyed your unwavering focus, building the centre of the image you were staring at.

Being with him was like a trance – you never noticed you’d slipped into it until something broke you out of it.

You cleared your throat and sucked in a breath between your teeth. You ran a finger along the edges of the boat, brushing against the paddle, and told him, “You didn’t have to do this, by the way.”

“Do what?”

You gestured to the trees and the water. “Bring me all the way out here.”

“It’s alright. I enjoy the view, too.”

But most of the time, he’d been looking at you.

“I…” you began, pulling your legs closer to your body to place your chin on your knees. “I was thinking. And I’d really love to read a book of yours.”

Taehyung’s face lit up for a moment, but then fell again. Unspoken emotions suddenly invaded his peace before he let his smile fall and said, “You won’t find any book by me.”

“Why not?”

This wasn’t the first time he was telling you that – but he never disclosed his reasoning either. Today, however, you leaned into him, still keeping a safe distance, touching his calves as you insisted, “Why not? Are you really a writer, Kim Taehyung?”

It was supposed to be a light-hearted joke; some of his forehead wrinkles disappeared, but he still seemed on edge. Teeth nibbled on his lower lip, hair covering his drooping eyes, and his head fell, eyes staring at the wooden ground of the boat between his legs.

And you decided to drop the topic once and for all before he suddenly admitted, “I… wrote under a different name. A pseudonym.”

The information hit you with full force.

You shouldn’t have been surprised – he was a mystery, an enigma, a puzzle, riddle; whatever you’d already used to describe him as. There were probably a gazillion things you didn’t know about him – but perhaps it was the change in identity that threw you off so suddenly.

Because to you, he was Kim Taehyung.

You couldn’t imagine him as anyone else – his words belonged to him. His face, his hands, his voice, his body. They were undoubtedly Kim Taehyung and no one else; but now, he was another persona?

“May I know?” you tried, quiet and unsure.

“Maybe one day.”

“That’s unfair, I–”

You didn’t get to defend your point of view or urge to read his thoughts any further – because without prior warning, the water left to your boat broke, the shimmering surface disturbed when waterlife meddled with your peace of day.

It was a fish bigger than your head, flapping through the air, aggressive and attacking, and had your boat not moved forward in the meantime, it would’ve landed either on your lap or in the boat. Flapping some more, grappling for air, so utterly stupid to jump out of the river in the first place.

With a yelp, you fell backwards awkwardly, close to waving the canoe goodbye when strong and firm hands wrapped around your waist and pulled you in. Struck with fear, you flailed your arms the way the fish’s body had, almost breaking Taehyung’s jaw and bringing the boat to a dangerous shake.

The water had long cleared and calmed down again when the carp, you assumed, had gone back to swim in the peaceful river. You steadied your stagnant breaths, letting your body go limp in his grip. And only when the temporary shock subsided, did you properly realise what was happening.

Taehyung was silent. Arms still around your waist, he didn’t make a move to let go just yet – instead, you stayed just like that, unconsciously pressing yourself into him. He took in your scent; brushed back the strands of hair that had escaped.

Then, he swallowed; and you couldn’t see his face, but you thought he sported a bewitching beam when he asked, “Are you hurt?”

You shook your head immediately, planting your palms on his hands, breathing, “No. I’m alright. Thank you…”

Taehyung’s lips roamed close to your heated cheek, fingers escaping from underneath your hands to play with more loose hair strands of yours. His heartbeat hammered against your back and synchronised with your own sometimes; rapid in one moment, seemingly still as the water in the next.

And you didn’t understand your surroundings or recognised them as what they were until he whispered into your ear, “The bridge you love.”

With the way his fingertips explored clothed parts of your body, ghosting over your sides and your clavicles, you couldn’t keep your deepest desires veiled as you had until now. The goosebumps on your bare wrists and underarms were too telling, your shaky breaths and gasps too obvious.

You looked up into his face, eyes locking on his lips, and caught him staring back. His mouth was parted and his gaze hooded, darker than usual; the waters in it weren’t as calm as the ones surrounding you.

“Taehyung,” you mumbled, and he almost missed it, your voice timid and thin. “Tae–”

You whimpered when his hand travelled along your neck before it came to a halt on your jaw. The boat swayed, though remaining steady, but there was a tumult raging in your heart that made you dig your nails into his arms.

Hissing, he brought his free fingers down your body, touching your stomach and your hip over your dress. Tugged at the fabric until he revealed your legs, up to your knees, enraptured by your skin and your trembling limbs.

“May I?”

The deep baritone of his voice vibrated against your temple, lips barely touching your hair. You couldn’t recall how long you’d been waiting for this moment; when the profound yearning had started. 

But as you closed your eyes, a smile spread on your face and a fire expanded in your stomach. It burned the butterflies and gave way to seething pleasure and longing; and seeking salvation, you nodded, whispering a single, “Yes.”

The pads of his digits pressed into your thigh immediately, and you sighed, attempting your best to trace his movements with your eyes. But they kept fluttering shut, giving into whatever he was doing or trying to do.

He painted circles and other forms onto your skin, wandering the way up to where your most sensitive part lay covered. Taehyung moved slowly – but you wiggled in his grip, eagerly and silently begging.

The image of you, pliant in his grasp, had floated in his craving mind for longer than today. He couldn’t remember what he’d imagined or what he’d fallen asleep to. You had become his new cube, a new imaginary paradise to retreat to; that’s all he truly knew.

But this.

You.

Outside of the fantasies he indulged in under the sheets, alone in his dark bedroom, feeling the phantom touch of your hands all over him.

And his hands all over you.

He didn’t have a clue how, but you were astonishing beyond belief, right here in the real world. And for possibly the first time in his life, he muttered, “I don’t know what to say.”

Your breath hitched when he pushed against your soaked panties; and then your heart stilled when he pushed them aside slowly. You bit your lower lip, dizzy from the motions of the boat, dizzy from his touch; but somehow, you still managed to remark, “You… you always know what to say.”

“Not with you.” A pause, and then quieter, lower, “Not right now.”

“You call yourself… a writer.”

“No… a fool.”

His hands pushed your legs apart, holding your panties to the side, before his fingers touched your dampness ever-so-slightly. You could barely feel them ghosting over your heat, humming and crazed; but when he pressed a digit between your nether lips and dove into the wet sensation carefully, you thought you were losing your mind.

“Taehyung,” you repeated, and he pulled your body up, further into his lap. “I–”

“Yes.”

“I’ve been wanting this.”

“Me too.”

“Ever since I first saw you.”

Shit. Fuck. 

What was he supposed to tell you? That you were a haunting demon, stalking his dreams and thoughts and mind every waking second? That he couldn’t stop thinking of you, of your smile, your body, your touch?

That whenever he closed his eyes, he wondered how you tasted, how you felt under him, trapped and pinned; his lips on your shoulder, your neck, your mouth. That there were so many things he needed to tell you, but that would never topple off his tongue, because he was scared.

Scared that you’d fall deeper. That he’d fall deeper. Scared of how far you’d dig to learn things about him. Scared of what you’d think once you found out.

“Please,” you suddenly pleaded, looking at him, guiding his hand to the bundle of nerves with the same innocence written in your eyes as always.

To Taehyung, you were the most sensual and most ironic free verse poem ever written.

“Please.”

“God, the patience,” he said, two endlessly long fingers rubbing your clit before they found their way back to the entrance – and pushed in, “you have none of it.”

You gasped and moaned, pushing yourself up some more, entirely delirious when you felt his arm close in around your chest. He held you pressed against his body, and the hand not shoving his fingers into you snuck its way up to your neck. Pressed into your skin.

Then moved down, eyes falling at your dekolleté as he tugged at the strings bound to a bow. With your dress loosened around your chest, he explored the warmth of your flesh further, digging underneath the clothing until he let his fingers pinch your erect nipples.

He was too much… his hands cupping your breasts, kneading and scratching, enjoying the feeling of you… you were perishing inside.

“I’ve more than you know,” you cried out.

His fingers pushed in and out of you tenderly, the sounds hot and lewd; he curled them and rubbed the same spot over and over again, moaning in unison with you. His thumb soon settled on your aching nub, circling it slowly – you were astounded and surprised.

None of your previous flames or affair had ever known to handle a woman like this. Taehyung knew what he was doing; and it filled you with jealousy, intrigue and contentment.

“Untrue,” he contradicted, dying a small death each time you winced and moaned, “you’re always in such a hurry.”

“I’m… I’m not.”

“Pity. So what if I left you high and dry?” he questioned, biting into your earlobe before soothing the ache with a kiss. “If I just…”

And suddenly, you were empty, his fingers gone, and you protested, close to tears. “No. I… please, finish it, I’m–”

“You’re… what?” Taehyung teased, kissing your temple. “What do you want?”

“What I want?” you asked, mock apparent in your voice, mixed with a hint of irritation and frustration. “What do you think?” The volume of your voice grew, and you spat your next words, “What do you think have I wanted from the very freaking begi–”

This time, you didn’t get a warning.

This time, you gasped for air, surprised by the hand wrapping around your throat like a necklace. He pushed your head back and up, against his shoulder, wet kisses landing on your jaw; his tongue was hot and dizzying against your skin, calming in contrast to his light nips.

He shoved his fingers into you with a welcoming yet unforeseen force, pumping harshly, watching your body lift from his lap and fall back repeatedly. Sometime during your sins on the river, you felt the hardness of his length poke against your bottom, throbbing and hungry.

And you didn’t need to guess what he was thinking, because he told you, “If I could… I’d ruin you thoroughly. Take you until the sun sets and rises again…” He paused, breathing heavily, relishing your mewls and constant squirms. “God, you’re so fucking beautiful.”

Your waterline dampened and your chin trembled; pleas fell out of your mouth – and before you could count to five, your whole body was quivering, your voice rising. You bit your fist to muffle your noises as every inch of your body collapsed.

Limbs turned weightless and the knot in your stomach dissolved, and as your eyes rolled back in utmost pleasure, you heard him say, “Told you… no patience.”

Only when your shiver calmed down, did he let you go. The hand on your neck fell, fingers drenched in arousal painting a crude trail along your thighs.

You didn’t move off his lap, savouring the moment some more. A fantastical amount of joy coursed your body when the godless lust passed by and gave way to fondness and honey.

Because when his arms wrapped around yours, there was no wicked intention behind it; your dress was long covering your legs again. Instead, you heard nature sing its songs, the river flowing for what felt like hours as his embrace lifted every evil worry you’d ever encountered in your life.

You couldn’t overthink and analyse the situation until the night ended. When he brought you home and left again, tinted cheeks smiling at you as his fingers tucked your hair behind your ears.

Your beam was bright when you let your door shut behind you tonight – and your knees were weak, so weak that you dropped against the heavy door, enraptured and falling.

This was the point of no return.

NOW

There had never been a point of return.

In retrospect, you were doomed when you saw him for the first time. You should’ve known that he was going to end you thoroughly, that you would never be able to go back to how your life was before you knew him.

Sometimes, you ask yourself if you should’ve been more incessant. If you should’ve prodded more, demanded answers to your questions, not let him keep his damned mysterious mask on that he loved so much.

You wipe the dust off your old poetry book, combing the pages for the words you have memorised by now. Taehyung was right – he couldn’t tell you what more Sophie Albrecht’s poem consisted of. Because if he had, you’d known what had bubbled in his heart.

Because the poetess spoke about drunken love; fervent kisses; yearning and pining and longing, intense and torturous… magnificent and beautiful.

And yet with passionate lingering, my mouth stays glowing at your lips.

You shut the book and let your eyes drift over the pile you pulled out of your shelf. You place the poetry next to a novel; one that you have probably read a couple hundred times. The name of the author calls upon a burning, piercing sting; today, of course, you understand why he’d never told you his pseudonym, but his birth name.

You laugh.

The only truth he ever told you voluntarily, without you having to pull it out of him, was his name.

Kim Taehyung.

You were the only one who knew that he’d been born as Kim Taehyung. The only thing he ever confessed to you so blatantly.

And other than that… Why couldn’t he confide in you? And why did he disappear, left you in your melancholy, everlingering and everstaying.

Taehyung… this can’t be what your wonderful phenomenon of fate had written out for the both of you.

THEN

The first time Taehyung opened the gate to his little, humble home, he led you into his office holding your hands gently. 

Your fingers were wounded and aching from stitching several dresses yesterday, and had he not taken your palm into his, greeting you with a tender kiss on the back of your hand, you might not have said anything at all.

But he had top notch remedies to soothe the sting your needles caused; and while he came up with the idea, he used his medical kit as the ultimate excuse to keep you closer to him. In his own four walls, showing you where he slept and ate. To him, this was a sense of intimacy – because it wasn’t as though he brought home a girl every day.

Or at least, not anymore.

“I’m fine,” you assured, slowing down your steps. He was walking backwards and close to you, squeezing your hand, drowning in your eyes. “We can go anywhere you want. I know you despise being at home.”

“I don’t mind,” he said, the same as usual, “and it feels a bit more like home with you in it.”

Your cheeks heated up and you giggled like a child, tilting your head as you fell for him harder, deeper. He let your hands go once inside his office, and the shadows in his face darkened, merely dim rays of the sun shining between his curtains and into the room.

His touch, however, didn’t leave your body just yet – because within a second, he had you pulled into his body, one hand on your back, the other palm on the side of your neck.

Since you knew Taehyung, your lips had never touched his. But after the incident on the boat, something between you had cracked. Like every semblance of courage was suddenly roaming free. The way he hugged you, the way he touched you.

It wasn’t what good acquaintances did.

But you two… not quite friends. Not quite lovers.

”The utmost share of my desire shall be… only to kiss the air that–”

“That lately kissed thee,” you finished, proud and satisfied, “I have read this one for once.”

Taehyung laughed airily, and you saw his soul floating and jumping behind his eyes. Stars twinkled in his pupils once again, bringing night at bright noon. You felt enamoured and faint – you’d never considered that a warm hand on your neck could twist your guts like this.

“I missed you all night,” Taehyung whispered; you didn’t know which night he meant. You hadn’t seen or talked to him in a week. But he clarified, “I missed you every night. And every day. Every damn moment, even when I slept.”

Taehyung was a writer… he was a writer indeed.

And he sucked you in the way your favourite novels did.

Your breaths accelerated as though you had run up a hill – nearly panting, unsteady, anticipating. His nose brushed yours as he moved closer, his mouth parting and eyes shooting daggers of affection into yours.

“Do you ever miss me, too?”

Did you miss him?

Do stars miss the moon when it’s not full? Does the shore survive without waves? Did a life without Kim Taehyung still exist, still sound imaginable?

Did you ever miss him, too?

“Taehyung,” you mumbled, hands on his chest, fumbling with the two open buttons of his shirt, “does anyone ever escape you?”

“I always want to escape myself,” he admitted. You still didn’t quite know what he meant; those statements weren’t rare, but you still couldn’t make him lay open his heart entirely. “But I don’t want you to escape me.”

Taehyung wasn’t made of stones. His body didn’t consist of a cold rock; behind his chest, a bleeding heart pounded.

Taehyung was all cotton and silk.

All cotton and silk.

“I don’t want to either.”

And then, he closed in.

Brushed his lips against yours. Hardly breathing, feeling your fingers curl into fists against his chest.

But before his mouth could finally meet yours, a sudden triple knock pulled you out of your red coloured box of affection. You flinched the same moment he did, and your heads shot to the entrance, perplexed and questioning.

Next to the open door, a girl in a nightgown appeared slowly. She had her arms crossed in front of her chest, and her expression was somehow trist. But then she smiled, and you reckoned, the melancholy only inhabited her eyes – that she was young, perhaps twenty years old and that everyone carries a sense of despair at that age.

Drawing a breath, Taehyung’s eyes flickered between her and you, and you were confused – didn’t know why a girl stood in the middle of his room. His place. Pretty and young, smiling, matching his ethereal glow even in a nightgown.

“I think I know who you are,” her almost juvenile voice chimed, and she leaned against the doorframe, her feet bare and her legs crossed. She called your name, dragged and stretched it out. “I didn’t think I’d ever get to know you. Or that he’d bring you home.”

You searched for answers in the room, looking at her with a squint and then at him with wide eyes. What is happening? you were seeming to ask, and Taehyung, albeit hesitant, soon provided an answer.

“She’s my cousin. My mother’s sister’s daughter,” Taehyung explained, fingers still curled into yours, though the warmth of his body had left yours, “her name’s Hana.”

Hana. Another secret he’d kept from you effectively.

“I didn’t know,” you told her, smiling softly. “It’s good to meet you, Hana.”

In some ways, Taehyung and Hana looked alike. She had the same nose as him. The same dark eyes, soft black hair, full lips that turned into rectangles when she grinned the way she did right now.

“I would’ve been surprised if you had known. Taehyung enjoys being a mystery.”

If this wasn’t the truest declaration you’d ever heard.

“Don’t you have studies to do?” Taehyung scolded, hissing through gritted teeth. He was riled up. Not as calm as he usually was. “Or anything else.”

“Yes. Christ,” Hana rolled her eyes, pushing herself off the wall, “I just wanted to come and wish you a good day. I’m gone.”

And then she stepped out, throwing her untamed hair back, announcing one last thing that you didn’t fully understand. But your focus soon shifted to the relieved exhale Taehyung left out, eyes staring at you in apology before he told you, “I will get you something for your fingers.”

“Thank you…”

Why was all of this so odd? Why did the picture of her face, of her and him together, bring a hidden memory or déjà-vu to the surface that was too blurry to make out?

Something chewed at your brain, and you couldn’t help but feel confused.

You pushed the irritating perplexity aside and stepped into the middle of the room to refocus. Turning in a slow circle, you scanned the room in a 360-view, admiring the set-up of his office.

The room was as organised as Taehyung’s thoughts were, every piece of furniture at its place neatly. A chimney stood in front of the sofa, and under the latter, you detected a carpet of dark but soothing colours.

As you walked around in tiny steps, fingers crossed behind your back, you realised how undoubtedly the interior of Taehyung’s place mirrored his personality. Calm, quiet, comforting.

The only misplaced object that disrupted the peace lay on the chair in front of his desk, opened at a random page and its spine worn out. You leaned closer, picking it up to read the first sentences on the page.

Initially, a smile grew on your face, baffled and impressed by the otherworldly metaphors and writing style. The words felt pleasant on your tongue as you whispered them, flowing like the calm river water you loved.

You turned the book and peeked at the title; you didn’t recognise it, but the author’s name seemed familiar to you. The concept of the novel was a lost memory itself, but looking at the cover, you thought you could still remember having read this very novel years ago.

But the realisation of its background didn’t hit you until you skimmed the next three pages, diving into the lives of a couple who fell in love and fell apart. A famous author who met the woman of his dreams; the page that you’d opened described their separation, tear-filled, desperate and heartbreaking.

The name of the characters; the sunset the girl gazed into; her movements, her words, his goodbyes.

You knew about them.

You never jumped on the train of bestselling novels much. You preferred underrated writers who no one had heard of, stories hidden in the back of a bookstore that you made your own; deemed your very own world.

Big, supposedly groundbreaking books never captured your attention for too long, so you forgot about them fast.

This one however? How had you forgotten about it? Considering its aftermath… you should’ve recognised things earlier.

But since the confessions written on the yellowed pages had caught your attention, broken pieces of a story you’d heard at gatherings returned. Back when you would go out more, meet couples for coffee and tea, hearing them tattle about people far away.

A stranger country. A writer in an affair with a woman who had gone mad. Claiming the novel was about him and her. An obsession dangerous enough to invade his home and confront him about it.

And he had reacted in a way no author should – no authorities were involved until the woman rested on the ground with closed eyes and a bleeding head. A dish used as a weapon in the writer’s hand.

“I found it.”

The cheerfulness in his voice shattered your heart. You hated that you couldn’t despise him – hated that you’d learned of emotions that you’d never felt before. That despite everything his past consisted of, you couldn’t shake the feeling that Kim Taehyung was a different person from the one you remembered.

Remembering before you had even ever spoken to him.

“You were brave to get so close to me,” you mumbled.

You didn’t know what more to say – you were too scared, your voice too strained, to tell him straightforwardly what you’d seen.

“What?” Taehyung asked, stepping closer.

His hand sunk, his fist closing around whatever he was holding for you. You shook your head, taking a step back, bumping against his table as you held up the book and told him, “Cha Yujin.”

And that was… that was when he froze. Like an ice sculpture, halting in the middle of his steps, gulping with eyes so wide you thought they’d fall out of their sockets.

“How could I not remember?” you reprimanded yourself, sniffling, feeling a hot tear trail down your cheek. “The novel that caused all your problems. And Cha Yujin. You’re… absolutely…”

He called your name, stretching out a hand as he whispered, “Let me explain it to you.”

“You’re revolting. And you touched me. Almost kissed me, for God’s sake, and made me fall for… what, a criminal?”

“No.”

“No?”

”No,” he exclaimed, and you shrunk, dropping the book on the table before you wrapped your arms around your chest and made a move to step out.

Walking past him, however, proved to be the biggest task, much as expected. Because his arm shot out and his fingers wrapped around your wrist, tugging you back to his body before his sad eyes fell on yours.

Kim Taehyung had a wistful and sombre gaze. Even when he was happy, there were hints of dreaminess and quietude. Usually, those skills of his eyes enchanted you. Today, they scared the hell out of you.

“Let me go,” you ordered, fighting out of his grip, but he was stubborn.

“I need to explain…”

“You can’t possibly explain this.”

“I’m not…” he started, jabbing holes of desperation into you, “please, I wouldn’t hurt you, I promise, I–”

You stilled, crying, out of your mind and fearing the worst.

“I could never hurt you.”

“But you would and could hurt someone else,” you argued, pulling back once his fingers loosened, “you did hurt someone else.”

But he was still shaking his head when you backed away. When you closed the distance between you and the door, eager to walk out, scared beyond sanity. And the fright in your head only grew once he mumbled, “I’m sorry.”

And to yourself, your heart, the time you’d wasted… you were sorry, too.

It had rained last night.

The pavement was still damp and drying, and clouds still hung over the town gloomily. Today was a little colder than you were used to from the summer, and you rubbed the skin of your wrist, wearing a thin dress that had already earned you some questioning stares.

Or perhaps, it was your tears.

Your form sat on a bench in a stranger park, ignoring every single body passing by you in slow motion. You couldn’t register the way they were regarding you; there were bigger clefts in your world. Ones that you were trying so desperately to mend.

It was absurd to expect instantaneous relief; but what else could you hope for with the constant cuts injuring your heart?

You couldn’t remember anymore when you’d run away. When you’d left his neighbourhood behind and found this very bench. When it had become so cold, or how long you’d been crying and pitying yourself.

All you knew was that the steps approaching came way too fast. And you wanted them gone; you weren’t ready for further grief, couldn’t take whatever they needed you to hear.

“Did he tell you to come?” you asked, your voice breaking and fragile. “To lie more for him.”

“No,” Hana said, calm and firm. She had her hands folded in front of her body, her movements careful. “He didn’t want me to come here because of what happened.”

“This is ridiculous and you both kno–”

“What is? What’s ridiculous?” Hana inched closer, shrugging her shoulders with a pained expression on her face. “That he’s trying to start a new life? That he found you on the way? That I’ve never seen him this happy… or falling this hard.”

Your tears returned in full force, and you wiped them away with the back of your hand – to no avail, because there were too many of them, endless and stinging. You took a deep breath, rubbing your wet cheeks, and slowly, quietly, said, “I can’t hear this. I don’t…”

“And I cannot let you tap in the dark. Or let you keep asking yourself why he did what he did, because you will never find peace like that,” Hana stated, and you despised how much sense her logic made. “He didn’t want me to come because he’d rather you hate him than me.”

“I don’t… I don’t know you, Hana.”

“And you don’t need to.” She flattened her dress and tucked it under her legs before she took a seat next to you, placing a hand on your shoulder that you almost shook off again. “But listen to me.”

Your head was spinning by the time she attempted to start her story. Your body felt as though it was physically moving in circles, and you held onto your head, letting it fall between your shoulders.

“Cha Yujin didn’t die.”

Hana’s voice was faint, echoing. It mingled with your surroundings; the chirping of birds and the quiet chatter of passengers. But her words were sharp, cutting through your mind, widening your eyes.

Your head shot up in a sudden motion, too fast for its liking and it still spun and swirled when you murmured, “What?”

“Yujin is alive. And she’s not the victim that the police and newspaper made her out to be.”

“Where… what happened?”

“She was a reader of his. Knew every word of the novel he’d written. But she was also one of the secret affairs he’d had.”

Something about her tone and her revelation threw your heart into a pit. To all the things you thought you knew, this information didn’t belong. You wondered if anyone knew – wondered if whatever had happened years ago had ever reached at least part of the public eye.

“Taehyung used to enjoy a lot of women’s company. Back when his name was still known all over the country, it was easy for him to find the next bed to jump into. And Yujin was similar… just. Went on for a longer time.”

You listened intently, though your brain begged and urged you to blend it out. You didn’t know what hurt more – the partial truth in the crime story, Taehyung’s old habits or the assumption that you might have been another one of his… pleasures.

And you didn’t know which thought to focus on.

“And Yujin was convinced that the novel… a romantic one at that… was about him and her,” Hana continued, fiddling with her fingers, visibly nervous. “So she came to our home. Long after my parents had died, and I’d started living under Taehyung’s wing. She came to our home and claimed she just wanted to talk.”

She shook her head, sucking in a shaky breath, eyes drooping in exhaustion, “And they did talk. He told her no woman had inspired the novel. She couldn’t accept that… to the point that she started yelling and throwing things, and Taehyung had to build a barrier of chairs so she wouldn’t hurt him.”

In the middle of the narrative, she silenced, swallowing the knot of distress, and in a moment of odd solidarity, you put a warm hand on her knee and spurred her on, “And then?”

And then.

Hana elaborated on the curses and threats Yujin had thrown Taehyung’s way. Described the scars and harmless wounds he’d shown his cousin after everything had ended. They weren’t deep, but they reminded him of the night for days; not that there was any reality in which he could forget anyway.

Yujin had physically opted to attack Taehyung, and he had never lifted a finger against her, enduring because he was certain she would have had enough in just a second. But when the anger advanced, and the girl slipped into incurable mania, Hana stepped out of the room that she’d promised to not leave.

No matter what happened.

“But I couldn’t just let her hurt him,” her voice was quivering, and she kept repeating her sentences, calming her mind and her nerves, “and I saw this… this kettle standing on the dining table. I swear I didn’t want to knock her out like that, but I didn’t know what to do and I promise it was just self defence, so–”

You rubbed her knee in reassurance, cooing at her, but she couldn’t help the tears that started flowing. They collected on her chin and fell in droplets, eyelashes wet and long – strangely, you couldn’t muster the strength to cry.

Not now. Not when the whole story was ridiculous, bewildering.

Was she making it up?

She didn’t look like it.

“What happened to Yujin then?” you asked softly. You didn’t know if empathy outweighed your curiosity – but you needed the truth.

“Mental institution…” is all Hana mumbled, stopping for a minute as she stared at a distant fleck in the sky.

Terror had spread across her face and her chest; she said that even today, she sometimes felt her fingers tremble the way they had that day. When they had seen the unconscious body on the ground, half breathing, somewhat alive.

You wondered whether she was thinking about it now, too. Whether you were supposed to shake her out of her grief and fears.

“Taehyung never let me tell anyone the truth. Took the blame and was considered guilty without testifying. He was barely allowed to defend himself, because the police in our town were corrupt. Which was ridiculous, because Taehyung wouldn’t hurt a fly,” Hana continued, still shaken by her story and memories, “Yujin’s family is richer than any of Taehyung’s books could make him.”

“He took the blame for you?”

“He said he’d promised to take care of me. He decided to do it this way.”

“I don’t understand,” you said, rubbing your forehead, processing whatever you’d heard and gotten told, “how did the both of you get here then?”

Hana smiled, but her eyes portrayed different emotions. Her tears had subsided, her stare tired; she looked exactly how you presumed she felt.

Like someone who had carried the weight of sorrow for years, and now voiced parts of it – unfathomable feelings that had gathered in a ball of stress had been released into the open. You couldn’t imagine how fatigued she felt.

“We… we fled. Before they could capture us.” You drew the pleasant evening air to stop the whirling of your mind, not believing what you had gotten yourself into. She looked at the horror in your face, defending, “You don’t understand. They would have jailed him and tortured him. They loved Yujin’s family and would have killed Taehyung if they’d wanted that.”

The thoughts and possibilities she listed were scarring. Even though they weren’t real, just what could have been, what never had been – they gutted you, stabbing your heart, entangling your thoughts.

“The public did not talk about his birth name. They knew his ridiculous pseudonym, so coming here, living his life as Kim Taehyung… even if he barely spoke about his identity… was an easy way out.”

Now that she pointed out all these things, you realised that it hadn’t been his name that you’d found familiar when he’d introduced himself to you. It was his face, and you’d most likely seen it somewhere when his story blew up, in passing.

“I know… It’s why he never lets me read his books…”

She blinked at you in slight disbelief – you couldn’t tell why. But the emotion vanished as soon as it had emerged, and you ignored the short flicker of it when she continued.

“I suppose so. We came a long way,” Hana concluded, sniffling and wiping her eyes, “from a place far away. None of us can risk anything. And… I know it’s a lot to ask, and I don’t hold any expectations from you. But I would do anything for you to… to not spread our secrets.”

You removed your hand from her knee, entwining your fingers to keep them from digging into your palm. “I am not sure what to tell you.”

“Nothing… I just…”

The wind blew and chilled your bones – it had gotten even colder without you noticing, and despite nature’s warning to get home soon, you didn’t move an inch. Instead, you heard her speak on.

“Back then… Taehyung, he saw it all, but– he never speaks about it. Just keeps taking the blame,” Hana added in a whisper, and you leaned in, perking up your ears, “I can sometimes hear him whimper in his sleep. But those nightmares…”

In the beginning, Taehyung had told you that he didn’t like to dream. That he enjoyed walking into the world and around the globe, seeing places, speaking to people, watching the sun set and rise, gazing at the stars and the moon, observing the slow floating of the clouds.

You never considered the presence of nightmares as a trigger – but then again, he had begun listing his dreams more often these days. As though he had found a liking in them, discovered a corner of his brain that didn’t conjure grotesque images of his past.

“They are less frequent now,” Hana continued. Her eyebrows furrowed; she looked at you as if her mind was lighting up with an epiphany. As if she had grasped something she hadn’t quite thought about before. “Since he started spending time with you.”

But you shook your head, flinching at the sudden clump in your throat. It constricted, and you swallowed, sighing before you said, “Hana, I’m… I can’t be hopeful with th–”

“I mean it,” she interrupted, her gentle words accompanied by the subtle rustling of the trees, “it doesn’t wake me up at night anymore. I don’t have to leave my bed to wrap my arms around him anymore. And I cannot remember the last time I stayed awake talking to him.”

“Hana…”

“Think about it.” Her fingers wandered to your shoulder and she pulled you in, her tone still calm but keener now. “Taehyung doesn’t just talk about himself to anyone. He didn’t just open up to you, even somewhat, but he brought you home, too. Why?”

You were clueless; or perhaps you weren’t. Perhaps a voice inside your mind, behind your jumbled thoughts, knew what Hana meant, and was telling you what it was, but you were scared of hope. Of love and heartbreak.

So she spelled it out for you.

“Because there must be a reason why he trusted you like that. Maybe he knew you’d find out one day… maybe he wanted you to know, just not yet. Maybe he saw something in you, and he knew you would understand when the time was right. That he would stay with you or fall in love with you. Keep you by his side.”

Falling in love? Love. Love.

At this moment, it was equal to fear.

“I suppose we didn’t get this far.”

“Yet. That’s why you need to stay… that’s what it means. Ensuring someone’s trust. Telling them everything. That he didn’t yet doesn’t show a lack of trust, but fear. Absolute horror,” Hana explained, calling your name, “because you mean something to him, he fears what you might think of this. And of him.”

When does love’s blindness turn into insanity?

Some years ago, your logical side would have known what decision to settle on, who to speak to and where to go. Rethinking all recent events, you thought that you would have taken the mature path even a few months ago.

When you hadn’t known him. When his name meant nothing to you and the string of your memories wasn’t filled with his smile and touch.

But now…

“What should I do?” you whispered into the world, blinking away the dampness in your eyes. “I don’t know.”

“I think you do,” Hana argued. She stood and dusted off her dress, preparing to walk away. “I think you absolutely know what to do. Whenever you feel ready.”

The house’s furniture was elegant and delicate.

Various patterns adorned the wooden pieces; paintings of landscapes and gardens hung in the anteroom; everywhere you looked, the flame of candles flickered gently.

The rooms were coloured golden, laying quiet and still. From afar, you heard fire crackle, and you followed the sound as you’d been told to. Hana assured you it would be fine to walk in unannounced.

But as you neared the office, your steps small and slow, you felt restlessness wrap around your neck. You didn’t know what to say – hadn’t thought of a speech you wanted to deliver, emotions you wanted to confess.

All you knew was that you were shivering. That the last three days you’d gone to sleep, woken up, worked, eaten and fallen asleep again had been cold. The clouds still hung in the dark sky, restricting the view to the stars. The world felt gloomy and your heart stone hard.

Three days of thinking, rethinking, overthinking.

Of yearning and crying, unsure what to say or to do. You still couldn’t believe you were here. Could barely trust your eyes when you entered the office and saw his form, hidden under a blanket.

Not on the davenport, but sitting in front of it, feeling the warmth of the chimney.

You called his name, crossing the room, quick to crouch next to him to improvise the next minutes. But when you looked at him, he was sound asleep. He had pulled the blanket up to his nose, breathing in a peaceful slumber.

His dark hair fell into his face the way it always did, a silver earring dangling from his earlobe and his skin drenched in a homely orange. In front of him lay an open book – the same novel you had touched. You wondered if he’d chosen to read it again, relive whatever it evoked in him.

Closing it, you took a seat next to him, leaning against the sofa. You put your head on his shoulder, cheeks warmed by the blanket; but Taehyung, as you found out, was a light sleeper. Because the moment you touched him, he flinched, eyes shooting up to inspect his surroundings.

And when they found you, his eyelids fluttered until he adjusted to the sight of you.

“Hana spoke to me,” you told him, biting into the inside of your cheek, “she told me the truth about this,” you pointed to the book, “about everything.”

Taehyung nodded, as if he already knew. Hana must have told him before you arrived.

He held your stare until he suddenly looked away. Like you’d burned him with your eyes; like something had told him he wasn’t allowed to stare at you.

“May I?” you asked, pointing at the blanket.

And when he nodded, though with slight hesitation, you smiled in reassurance, wrapping the blanket around your body before you pressed your shoulder against his. “I believe you. Hana and you, both.”

You heard Taehyung’s gulp without looking at him; and pieces of your heart hurt and steamed when he spoke, his voice hoarse, but still so tender, “She said you did.”

A minute of unspoken questions and answers passed in silence, and when you spoke again, you felt the smile on your face, “I may not know you inside out, Kim Taehyung,” your gaze met his and fingers sought his cautiously, “but I know you well enough to understand that you aren’t a bad person.”

His eyes were glassy, drooping; he still appeared to be dreaming. Half asleep.

Your free hand lifted under the blanket, shuddering, and you watched as his eyes closed when your fingertips brushed the skin of his jaw. You traced the sharp line and touched his earring; wandering on until your palm was resting on his cheek, cupping his face.

“We didn’t mean to bring anyone pain,” Taehyung whispered, aching and breaking, “we always considered ourselves good people.”

“You are,” you spoke up, rubbing your thumb against his face, leaning in, “you are. You’re the best man I know.”

“Do you mean that? Are you saying that? Actually saying that?” He leaned into your touch, his chin quivering, and before you knew it, a single drop of tear escaped his eye and landed in your hand. “Or am I hallucinating? Still dreaming…”

“I am here. Right here.”

Taehyung called your name, his deep voice fragile and crumbling. His body seemed limp, as frail as his heart; you had never seen him like this before. You wanted to mend the pain, wanted to assure that you weren’t walking away.

But before you could speak, he whispered your name again, a hand travelling to your waist, towing you closer. His eyes searched for something in your irises, darting up and down, from left to right. Busy hands touched the warmth of your body, squeezing your waist and brushing back your hair.

And then, a new surge of determination inundated his chest; still crying, he promised, “If you ever forgive me… I will try to be better.” He sniffled, breathing heavily, and you could barely believe that you were witnessing the cracking of his soul – seeing what you meant to him. “I will make everything right. I am so sorry, sweetheart.”

“We will find a solution one day… and I’ll be here,” you cooed, shushing his winces; brushing an alleviating hand through his hair. “Do you understand?”

It was too late to escape now. Of course you would stay – ready to live and die by his side. To your past self who hadn’t spoken to him yet, your decision might have appeared comical. Your past self might have taken the other path that night; gone home without approaching any finger food or wine.

Left the event and fallen asleep.

If the flutter of a single butterfly’s wings had been any different… but it hadn’t. And that was alright.

More apologies fell out of Taehyung, accompanied by diminishing tears. Your foreheads collided, him holding you close. Honeyed breaths, steadying, fell against your face, eyes closed.

You didn’t fathom that you were crying until Taehyung wiped your salty grief away, his nose grazing the tip of yours as he – slowly, carefully, suddenly – verbalised, “Your… your fingertips fire cannons made of needles; you puncture my soul, my heart, my bleeding skin.”

Hands tugged you in.

Lips caressed your mouth.

His whisper grew quieter.

”Yet, I remain an utter fool, drowning and blind; seeking the sting of your lips, the most ravishing sin.”

Something about the return of his habit cracked your heart open; like a gush of your usual emotions invaded your heart, everyday conversations breaking the grief and mournful nights. The familiarity threw you back to better days.

When you watched river water flow by and a bridge approach, trapped in his arms, whimpering pleas and his name.

So you cried more, closing your eyes when his lips moved to caress your cheekbones, and you asked, “Who wrote this one?”

Taehyung pecked your cheek, left a line down your face until he was back where your mouth parted. Sweetly and sickening, he admitted, “I did… for you.” His furrowed eyebrows relaxed, and his eyes opened for a moment; his soul was lost and found as he repeated, “I did, for you.”

And that was it.

The final words before he closed the distance. His lips fell on yours like they belonged there; like a puzzle had fallen into pieces. You locked your mouths in place and threw away the key. Weak from the way his plush lips moved, miniscule noises falling out of his throat.

He sighed and gasped against your face, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. Your heart leapt and frolicked when he pulled you flush against his chest. He pushed the air out of your lungs; dug his fingernails into your waist and hips.

The kiss was all you registered, and all you lived for, though it was killing you.

Because the touch was intense, laced with passion unmatched. A slow, steady rhythm that only broke when he opened your mouth, whispered your name and let his tongue slither in. You were a labyrinth to him, you noticed – because he lost his way somewhere, then found himself in the core of your being, but never moved past it to the exit.

“Taehyung–” you muttered when he moved to your neck, leaving a series of damp kisses.

“Don’t speak,” he interjected, leaning back, his eyes hungry and sober, “no more talking for tonight.”

So you obliged.

You let him wear out your name; his embrace was the leading compass that night. You allowed him to dive back in, capture your lips, tugging and nibbling at them, tongues dancing.

You drowned in the fever he caused as your back fell against the carpet, the fireplace still flaring and his arms trapping you. The fingers of his hand locked with yours, lips kissing their way to your clavicles and back to your mouth.

And that’s how you remained: clothed, chaste, crazed.

Kissing each other through the night.

Falling, falling, perpetually falling.

NOW

Candle-lit and golden – it was one of the last nights in which reality as you knew it made sense.

You still feel the touch of his lips on your skin. His hands holding your waist, his voice whispering words and promises that must have been fairytales.

The days you spent after this fateful night proceeded just as feverishly. There seemed no border between you, no restrictions and limits. The possibilities, dreams and touches; you remember them all too well.

A hand on your back leading you down a path in the forest; conversations held beside river shores as you nibbled on fruit; your body caged between walls or trees and him. A mouth kissing your neck and your jaw, discovering more of your sounds.

You spent your mornings talking, afternoons drowsy, nights lost in each other. You hadn’t known happiness this unconditional before; and it felt real. Tangible.

Perhaps you should’ve remembered every moment, smile and kiss better.

Because nothing made sense after that.

THEN

Taehyung and you abandoned your rule of weekly strolls through the town and soon advanced them to regular occurrences.

Lovesick and watching through a tinted version, you opened your business earlier in the morning and closed it earlier in the evenings. You would wrap up work to meet him at a previously determined time and place. Or you would visit him at home.

He would visit you at home.

So it didn’t come as a shock when he knocked at your door one night; you’d indulged in a long, warm bath and didn’t expect the interruption tonight. Especially not so long after the sun had set.

Freshly wrapped in a nightgown, you opened the door, greeting a version of Taehyung you’d never seen before.

He was smiling; the way he always did. But his eyes looked distracted and strange, tainted with something you recognised quicker than he probably intended.

“What’s wrong?”

Your immediate worry lit up a nerve in him – because he opened his mouth to speak, his expression baffled for a fraction of a moment before it calmed again. He removed his hand from the frame of your door, stretching his arm.

“Let me come in,” he ordered, albeit softly, kindly as he watched you place your palm in his. But the demand was still different from his usual requests for permission. “Please.”

You nodded and stepped aside, eyebrows still furrowed as you played out the different reasons why he might be here. But as soon as he entered your house, he seemed like a different person.

Or rather, his true self.

Dreamy eyes looked at you, pulling you into his body, and you chuckled, cheeks warming as he said, “I was missing you.”

“Really? That’s why you’re here?”

You swayed lightly in his arm, dancing to music that wasn’t there. His lips barely touched your forehead, taking in your scent, and he uttered, “Mmmh. Just hate being anywhere else.”

“Anywhere else?”

“Anywhere that’s not with you.”

“You’re so…” you thought for a moment, staring up with a playful smirk, “gushy again today.”

Taehyung laughed, his nose touching yours, and you knew he was close to kissing you but not quite. He enjoyed the teases before he dived in; loved to hear your breathing stagnate until he stole it entirely.

“So,” you breathed, your hands settling on either side of his neck, “what have you got for me today?”

He knew immediately what you meant; he smiled, and perhaps, he would’ve broken into hearty laughter too if your eyes hadn’t pushed his attention to them. He stared into your pupils intently, alternating between letting his eyelids flutter open and shut.

That’s why you could never let go of him. Why he mesmerised you so ardently.

Because Taehyung was a tender lover. Lost in dreams, caught up above clouds. He carried a galaxy in his heart and an ocean in his mind – vast and wide; soft and calm. 

If you hadn’t felt his touch a hundred times before, you would’ve deemed him a fantasy.

You thought he’d bring you Shakespeare today – you’d talked about him just a few days ago. Or perhaps Jane Austen. But instead, he tangled your thoughts into a tight knot as he leaned in, pecking the corner of your lips, and whispered, “You drive me crazy.”

Being with him… you had gotten used to elegant confessions and a love language manifesting in rhythmic, poetic words. And when he opted for such a mundane confession instead, you felt your heart leap into your throat.

Perhaps because the feeling of having pushed him into speechlessness filled you with pride. Or because of the way he was looking at you.

“This might sound blunt,” Taehyung started, gulping, “but can I stay here tonight? 

Taehyung was always unpredictable – today, however, he sounded more suspicious. You wondered if you could pull his thoughts out of him.

“Of course you can. Of course,” you permitted, burying your fingers in the tresses in the nape of his neck, “anything for you.”

The mouth that ghosted over yours closed in, teeth capturing your lower lip before he pulled lightly, let go again and echoed, “Anything for me.”

He didn’t endure for long tonight. His thumb traced the apple of your cheek, the touch affectionate, careful. He began a gentle backward stroll of your bodies, urging you into a specific direction until you’d entered your bedroom.

“What are you doing?” you asked, bewildered by his gaze. “Kim Taehyung, you–”

Your speech broke when the back of your knees hit your bed, and with his weight pushing against you, you fell, his body following suit. His knees dug into the mattress on either side of your thighs, and he leaned in, seeking something in your eyes.

“I just want to touch you,” he responded quietly, palms pressing into your bed, “just want to keep touching you tonight.”

And so he did – as if he was touching you for the first and last time.

His digits brushed back your stray hair before his arm snuck under you, holding onto you, pinning you down with his chest. His free hand brushed along your bare arm, raising it slowly until it was in his firm grip, immobile next to your head.

He kissed the sensitive patch under your ear, loving and captivating. The intimacy was new to you; you didn’t know yet how his bare skin against yours felt. The thought of his burning body on yours, with nothing in between, joggled your heart and left it beating harder.

But no matter how hot his touch, you couldn’t shake the feeling of suspicious unease.

“Is something wrong?” you questioned as he left barely-there kisses on your jaw.

He looked up, blinking at you; and then moved his head from left to right and back, the movement subtle and miniscule. “No,” he answered, his breath warm on your cheek, “absolutely not. This is perfect.”

His words sounded definite and certain, so you stopped questioning his intentions. If he wasn’t ready to lay open the content of his heart or had truly no sorrow to hide, then you weren’t going to push him.

Instead, you let his mouth and hands explore your body. In one moment, he’d hold your wrist tight, and in the next, you’d feel his slender fingers on your chin, embarking on a journey down to your chest. His lips traced your jaw and your neck before they found home on your own again, seeking your tongue and your taste.

Teeth bit your lower lip and pulled at the soft flesh, and you frisked your mind for something to say before he beat you to it and confessed, “Every moment without you has started feeling like…”

Like an empty void. Like advanced boredom. Like a cumulation of silent yearning, heartache and loneliness.

“Not living.” And this. “I feel more alive with you.”

You didn’t grow up with sappy words and deep love confessions. Infatuation never bothered you, and you were proud to say that you were able to move on quickly. You didn’t think, however, that you possessed the power to leave him behind.

“Is that alright?” he asked as his hands tugged at the sleeves of your nightgown.

He slipped one side off your shoulder, baring your skin, and taking in the hint, you nodded eagerly; told him a single hushed, “Yes.”

Eager digits freed you of your clothing; you raised your body to aid him in his quest, shutting your eyes tight, unsure what he might think or say. But to your pleasure, boosting your ego, he pressed a flat hand on your cheek, commanding, “Look at me.”

You obliged cautiously, but didn’t freeze in your movements, turning your insecurities into confidence as you began unbuttoning his shirt. Ripped half open, it hung off one of his shoulders, showcasing his golden chest; glowing, soft, comforting.

Ridding him of his trousers, your eyes locked on the bulge growing under his drawers. You brushed a hand along its confines and outline, hearing a gasp from above, and he retracted; put a distance between you and stood, even if only to kick off the garments.

“You’re making this hard for me,” Taehyung said to you, shaking his head. “So incredibly hard.”

At least that was what you thought you heard – you couldn’t focus much anyway. Your attention had shifted to his veiny hands as they glided along his thighs and cupped the length that had sprung out. Endless fingers wrapped around his shaft, pumping twice, and then he let go again.

“God… Tae…” you mumbled, crawling closer hungrily, thirst burning up your chest.

“Don’t look at me like that…” he said, his voice strained, as though he’d delivered an hour long speech before coming to you. “You can’t dismiss your own beauty and then admire me.”

“Why can I not? You’re…”

But he’d never find out what he was, because in the very next moment, you were kneeling at the edge of your bed. You gripped his cock, looking up at him with a tender expression before you gulped and brought your lips closer to the head of his member.

You gathered a trivial amount of saliva on your tongue, letting it escape through the gape of your lips as he cursed, “Oh… fuck. My dreams could never compare to this.”

“Hmm?”

“I have… thought of this so often.”

You took the last moment to respond with a nearly inaudible, “I have, too” before you began swirling your tongue around his head. He enjoyed the eye contact, going crazy as you sucked in the precum; toying with the sensitive skin.

Your fist, wrapped around his cock, moved up and down, your wrist twisting. For just a moment, you slowed down, tracing the protruding veins, aware of each one of them as you imagined what they’d feel like inside you.

The vivid picture made you shudder, your walls clenching and dripping, and you brought your hand resting on his thigh to your clit. Slow rubs adjusted to the pace of your mouth, bobbing back and forth, taking in his girthy and impressing length as much as your throat allowed.

Breathing hot against his cock, you drew a deep inhale before you dived back in, letting your tongue do its work until spit ran down your chin. Taehyung cherished the small details of your actions; the swish of your tongue over his ridges, slow and focused, and the way your hand wandered up and down his erection before it stilled to toy with his balls.

Taehyung detected your subtle self-pleasuring movements late – but he did. They elicited a light shake of his head, and the fingers previously buried in your hair pushed your body back, eyes watching the string of saliva connecting your mouth and his slit break.

As he observed your breathless form, his hands pried your legs apart, pinning them against the mattress in a sudden motion as he whispered, “I wanna taste you, too.”

But instead of moving straight south, he half fell onto you again; naked this time, nothing separated your skin. And when his body touched yours, it felt like flames colliding; you were burning up like the summer sun at noon.

He settled between your legs, hardness rutting against your slick folds; he listened to your moans with lips kissing a trail across your face. Roughly, he pulled your legs over his waist, holding your limbs there as he commented, “I saw an angel so beautiful…”

An immediate giggle erupted from your chest, amused at the dramatic choice of his words, and he chuckled with you before he silenced your echoing joy. Open mouthed kisses landed on your neck, wet and crude.

Dazy and dizzy, you mewled, clenching your hands to fists against his back as you told him, “Feels so good… feels so damn good.”

Proud and satisfied, he started moving down until his tongue circled your nipples. His mouth alternated between each of your breasts, but he never left one side without attention; gripping it, digging in, squeezing and kneading.

He cupped your mounds, pushing them up, pinching your perked nipples before he bit into them lightly. Travelled down teasingly, clearly aware of his unwavering effect on you.

When he paused above your pelvis, you sighed, opening your eyes that you didn’t realise you had closed. You looked at him, pushing his hair back, and revealed, “I don’t want you to stop.”

“I’m not going to stop,” he assured, taking in your scent and placing a kiss on your aching nub, “I’m not.”

“Don’t…”

“Anything for you, sweetheart.”

You didn’t get time to grow used to the endearment, surprised when he pulled you down the bed, placing one of your legs on his shoulder and the other against the mattress. He kept your thighs apart vehemently, his tongue darting out to taste your lust for the very first time.

Licking a stripe between your folds, he repeated his action before he made home above your clit. The wet muscle driving you mad flicked over your clit, slowly raising its pace before he closed his lips around it. Kissing, indulging in you, dark hair strands hanging low and tickling your skin.

He granted you with all of his attention, eyes closed, relishing your fragrance and flavour. Two of his fingers soon joined the pleasure he gifted you, pushing in with expected ease. Accompanied by the heated making out, his deft digits pushing in and out made you wiggle under him, your leg slipping off his shoulder and down his arm.

Your eyes rolled back further in their sockets, passionate moans and groans falling out of your mouth, and barely articulating a sentence, you mumbled, “Mmmfuck, Tae… please do–”

He hummed against you, understanding your language without its coherency; the tremble of your legs and hands in his hair told him more than enough.

So he engulfed your tits with a large hand, scarring your flesh with his nails; his tongue fastened, fingers fucking into you deeper, more impatiently. And then �� it was over as soon as it’d begun.

He aided you through your high, could almost see the way high waves of pleasure flooded the pit of your stomach, untying the tight knot. You relaxed – or fell, he couldn’t quite say. The arched back flattened, fingers around the sheets loosened, and your body went limp.

“Was that good enough?” you suddenly heard him ask, his voice way closer than before. Your head still spun when you met his eyes, his face floating above yours as he muttered, “You look… incredible.”

Staring up at him with gentle, pure eyes, the same sweet innocence pulling him to heaven. Or dragging him to hell. You were the only person he knew who could surpass the devilish gates and still remained virtuous.

Because despite the honey in your heart, the fog in your eyes was sinful.

Split a part of his soul, tainting his mind, colouring it in new, vivid hues. A sky blue when you comforted him; but a bright red when you filled him with undying lust.

“You…” he began, but stopped, his pupils flickering. “You know how much you mean to me, right?”

The centre of your stomach fluttered, spreading across your body; after all those times he’d kissed you, looked at you, showered you in poems, you still couldn’t believe that you were the object of his affection. 

You.

Not anyone else who existed in this wide, vast world. No… you. Right under him, naked, aching.

“Tell me.” You skimmed his flushed cheek, your insides screaming when his chest pressed against yours. “Please.”

You kept begging tonight – he wondered if he knew you didn’t need to. That he was ready to cross oceans and run through wildfires to get to you; if the world had allowed, he would’ve even fought the lesser devils of the world to stay with you.

But…

He shook his head free of intrusive thoughts, rubbing himself against you and admitted, “No… I feel out of words today.”

And then, his length, still standing tall and hard, aligned itself with your entrance, pushing in for just a fraction of a second. The moment was miniscule, but you gasped at the thickness already filling you, and threw your head back.

But he caught your face momentarily, bringing it back to him. Teary eyes gazed into his as his cock returned to your leaking mess, and breathing roughly through his nose, he spoke against your lips, “I’ll show you instead.”

And when he kissed you this time, his motions were more urging, more fervent. Your noses collided, your act aggressive. In the midst of the dance his tongue performed with yours, he pushed in fully, and you yelped into his mouth, sharp nails digging scars into his back.

A million and trillion fuzzy feelings coursed through your torso and down to where you connected; you were falling in love so fast and hard, it almost hurt.

Full and soft lips left yours to kiss your neck and clavicles again, suckling before he buried his face in your skin. He fucked you gently, increasing his pace slowly without unleashing cardinal, harsh lust just yet.

“Are you alright, baby?” he checked for the umpteenth time tonight, and you nodded wildly, whimpering and whining.

He felt as heavenly as you’d pictured. Passionate, zealous and fiery. He filled you to the brim, his length curved, hitting a spot you felt bloom for the first time ever.

As he raised his head and aligned your gazes, you saw him melt clearly.

Because he looked at you like the world was devoid of any existence but yours. Stared into your soul, deep moans vibrating in your eardrums; you recognised that he wasn’t writing but reading you tonight.

With connected foreheads, he asked, “It doesn’t hurt?”

“No… no,” you managed, panting as he pushed into you deep, pressed against you, “it feels so good. You're so good… so beautiful.”

“You,” he returned, hips pulling back before slamming back in, “are beautiful. Can’t stop thinking of you,” he waited, fucking you more passionately, and you held onto him, sweaty bodies colliding, “ever.”

The misty scene of lust and romance, laced with worries you tried to abandon, brought upon a thousand emotions in you.

Endless pleasure from his touch and the way the ridges of his cock rubbed against your nerves. A swarm of butterflies from his words invading your insides. The ardour eliciting goosebumps, making you shiver. 

A nagging voice in the back of your mind, because he was too… too intense.

Or perhaps, that was actually what he felt for you. The vigour, the unmatched ferocity of his fondness.

“Tae…?”

You didn’t know what you wanted to say. Maybe you wanted to wear out his name; you weren’t sure. But as he heard your whisper, he pushed a large hand under your head, fingers in your hair, palm settling on your scalp.

He raised you to his lips, his jaw clenched. His motions slowed down, allowing you to feel him better, more intense, because he pulled out almost entirely before he hammered back in.

Patiently, he stared at you, waiting for your words, but when he realised that your mind was empty of everything but his name, his lips crashed against yours. You moaned and hummed against his tongue, and he swallowed your sounds, tilting his head.

You were still trapped between him and the bed, but his unoccupied fingers still somehow found their way between your bodies and to your clit. You lost your mind steadily, holding onto him as he fucked you, pushing you up to the headboard.

He pressed a quick peck onto your mouth, and then said, “I don’t know how to–”

But he stopped, distracted by your keen cries as you unwinded again. Your eyes were damp, and your arms tightened around his neck. And once you were done, shaking and sniffling, he tried again, “I don’t know how to live without you.”

A quiet tear rolled down your face; he caught it with his thumb, his hand falling from your head and sneaking to your shoulder blades. He pulled you into him, leaving not an inch of you untouched, and started thrusting into you so devotedly that you dropped all sense of time and space.

“Then don’t,” you pleaded, your voice weak and drowning in your other sounds, “stay.”

His eyes scared you. They carried a presentiment; you didn’t know what to do with it. All you could do is beg and wait, hope he told you what storm twirled inside him.

“Shit, you,” he began, chasing his high, groaning deeply, his tone dropping a dozen octaves, “you make me fall… so damn deep for you.”

And that was the last thing he uttered before he shot ropes of his hot arousal into you, moulding your lips with his once more.

Both your bodies shook from the impact your night together brought; his breathing was heavy, his skin glistening in sweat. His hair stuck damp against his forehead, and you brushed it aside, taking in the universe in his eyes; a mirror that reflected your face.

He dove in for another kiss on your cheek, his exhales igniting your skin. Mumbling something else you didn’t understand, he pulled out of you, staying on top of you for some minutes before he raised his body slowly.

The lack of touch felt cold on your perspiring skin, but he didn’t leave you without it for long before he pulled you up and walked you to the bath. You sat at the edge of the small tub for a while as it filled, his hands brushing the knots from your hair and rubbing your aching thighs.

Once you settled in the water, hypnotised by the scrub of his hands on your scalp, you dozed off before you could realise. The gentle, wet back of a hand woke you up after what felt like an eternity, and you mumbled an apology under your breath.

“Everything is fine, my darling,” Taehyung cooed, soothing your worries.

He let you wrap your arms around his neck and carried you into your bed with a slight, exhausted groan. Laid you down, tucked you in, appearing next to you within a few seconds.

Pulling you into him, you took in his odour, burning it into your memory. You were half asleep, kissing his chest, never finding out that he was swooning, smiling, hiding half his face in your hair.

Sometimes, you think that if you’d known, you would’ve fought harder. Or perhaps ran away, not given in to the foolish act you’d indulged in tonight.

But then, you reckon, you would still do the same thing again today if you could. Naive and in love, being reborn and dying with every word he uttered and every of his touch you felt.

As you drifted off, you thought you heard him say something to you. And then, Taehyung closed his eyes with you in his arms for the last time; wordlessly.

The night proceeded thunderously. The rain didn’t start until you were fast asleep, and it kept you in dreamland until the first lightning struck.

It was early morning by the time the storm shook you awake. You realised the weather wasn’t the only thing raging; because within a moment, your heart bled, too. The thick liquid erupted like a volcano spitting lava that had been laying silent for so long.

You knew something had been wrong – that when you’d been worried, you’d been right.

Because.

When you woke up, he was gone. The other side of the bed was cold and empty, a yawning silence not only in your and his own home, but in your cavernous and splitting heart, too.

After Taehyung left your bed and life, you realised for the very first time how colossal and vast your town truly was.

The first few days, you spent every single second searching high and low for him. You left no stone unturned, tracing back his presence until your feet ached and bled. The taverns, the hills, the river. The market, the hospital, all bookstores in your proximity.

His house.

Taehyung was nowhere to be found.

The incessant knocking on his door was never answered, and he didn’t send a letter, didn’t come back, never granted you a hint of what had happened.

And you barely slept. Revisited memories of his eyes and his touch; the way he had spoken to you merely a few nights ago. His lips haunted you when his face didn’t, and oftentimes, uneasy sleep would only pull you in once you had cried yourself tired.

A week later, you still didn’t know what had gone down. You didn’t know why you couldn’t find him – why everyone around you acted as though he was just a mirage who’d touched your imagination for a transient moment.

You didn’t even know what questions to ask.

You were angry. That was all you were aware of; the fury boiled hot and clear, transparent.

But the anger morphed into a new stage of grief when two weeks had passed. The trigger emerged in the form of a displeased bang on your door. You didn’t expect a guest, and didn’t expect anyone to make sure you were doing fine. No one knew about it anyway.

The hopes buried deep within your heart, however, sparked and lit up like the lights of a Christmas tree; your feet carried you to the entrance, new tears falling. But once you ripped the door open, your pumping organ fell quiet and dark again.

It wasn’t him.

“Good evening.”

The stranger was wearing a half-decent smile; she was clothed in a dress and coat way too warm for this season, balancing her weight on one leg, then the other. Half her face was hiding under a hat, so you could barely make out her eyes, considering that she was a good chunk shorter than you.

“Good evening,” you greeted back. “Do I know you? How can I help you?”

“I…” She was nervous, gulping, averting your eyes. “I was…”

But you were not patient enough to wait for her explanations and questions. Not today. Sighing, you clutched the door, telling her, “I apologise, I am currently closed. And I don’t want to buy anything if that is what you–”

“No,” she chipped in, shaking her head before her hand lifted to the hat, taking it off. You still didn’t recognise her face when she finally looked at you properly. “I’m here to speak about Kim Taehyung.”

The silence in your room hid the fact that you weren’t alone in your house. It was more prominent than when you were, pressing and numbing, uncomfortable to a degree that you felt your body tremble.

“Would you like some coffee? Or tea. Warm milk is an op–”

The woman, sporting dark circles under her eyes, much like you, shook her head at your suggestions. She managed a small smile, and you nodded, leaning back in your chair, legs pulled in.

If you weren’t holding onto your knees, pressing them against your crumbling chest, you might have broken down.

“I don’t understand,” you whispered, licking your lips, “you’re Yujin’s mother. You came to talk to Tae. But I don’t understand why that made him leave. And why you’re here now.”

“I am afraid it’s not that easy. He didn’t leave because I came all the way to talk,” she clarified, staring at a pattern on your carpet, “when I arrived at his house, I was angry. Out of my mind. He thought I was going to hurt him the way my girl did, but… I never had the intention to.”

Your eyes blew wide, fearing the guilt in her voice, and you pulled your limbs in more, questioning, “Did you… did you hurt him?”

“No! No, I couldn’t. I couldn’t.” She shifted in her seat, her back straight, but her face full of tortured emotions. “I just wanted an explanation. I wanted to know why all of this even happened. I didn’t know about their affair, you know? I didn’t come for revenge but for closure.”

A desperate attempt to find out what had happened that night, because Yujin had never told the whole truth. You were sure of it.

“Your daughter tried to kill him,” you said, your voice growing monotone and dropping empathy. “And he did whatever he needed to do, so he could come out of this unscathed. Yujin never–”

“I’m aware now,” she cuts in, staring into your eyes with a glassy look, “Taehyung explained it to me. Hana added onto it some more… and perhaps it’s easier for me, after all those years of taking care of my daughter, to believe it and to forgive him for the sins he didn’t commit.”

She waited, shaking her head again. An apologetic expression crept upon her face, and in a careful whisper, she added, “But the police won’t.”

Sinking behind your legs, you must have looked to her as though you already knew about this. As if you expected this, unable to act surprised anymore. But in truth, you were shrinking into yourself, holding onto your broken pieces.

Because words, as alleviating as they can be, have the power to disrupt a peaceful mind, too.

Since Taehyung had come into your life, you had witnessed the force with which words could make your heartbeat skyrocket. Despite the bookworm that you were, you hadn’t paid much attention to the effect a sentence could cause.

Now, you did all the more.

She called your name, and you looked up into her face with puffy eyes, limbs shaking as you asked, “They know where he is, don’t they?”

“Not now, they don’t. It’s why he left… they might not be able to find him very soon again. It took them years even now.”

“Excuse me,” you mumbled with a faint voice, standing on wobbly legs. You wiped the tears off your face, and braced yourself for your next reckless act as you said, “I need to go somewhere. You… you know where the exit is, yes?”

You clearly didn’t know a thing about this woman. But theft didn’t scare you anymore; you couldn’t care less if she was to take any belongings from your humble home. A ridiculous and foolish thought – but she couldn’t take more from you anymore.

But she stood, clearing her throat. “I think,” she started, so quietly you could barely make it out. Seemed that she was just as exhausted as you. “I think I will be leaving as well. I’m not sure what to do here anymore.”

You were quick to encourage her decision, draping a light coat over your shoulders before you stepped out with her in tow. The season was warm, but the weather fluctuated; your hand was unsteady as you locked your door and waved goodbye to the stranger.

She had become the embodiment of triggering memories in less than an hour; you were fine with the thought of never seeing her again.

As she stepped away from you with idle steps, you approached the busy streets, waiting for a hansom cab to take you with it and where your heart resided.

You weren’t sure what you were doing. It wasn’t as though you were expecting anything where you went. You were breaking yourself, you were certain – but as you watched the clouds gather into one grey form, hiding the sun, you abolished thoughts of what might await you.

You clung onto hope. It was stupid; it was nonexistent at this point. Taehyung’s mood wasn’t as fickle as the weather.

And you still did.

But the path to his house was empty. The park nearby, the streets, his house’s porch. They were all vacant, letting the wind howl through the desolation as you wandered along the line of trees.

His house stood small and inconspicuous at the end of the road. It was beautiful – painted a tender light beige-brown, fitting the colours of his personality. Homely, sweet, carrying his touch and preferences.

But right now, it looked ominous. Haunted. Like souls floated along its walls. You reckoned it was the remnants of his life he’d left that lured you in. Somehow, his voice always called to you; you just wished it’d shut up for a moment.

Your eyes swished between the doorknob and creaky ground. Nothing was here for you; that was what your logic whispered. But another voice, less prominent, more concealed, urged you to step forwards. As if there was something left of him. As if logic was a blunt liar.

So you came close to the wooden door, raising a fist, and knocked lightly at first. The cry of the wind buried the sound of your action; and you took a deep breath, steadying your spinning mind before you knocked again, harder this time.

“Is someone here?” you questioned, bringing your mouth close to the door, your ask maniac.

You tried to knock once more, but came out blank.

“Tae?”

Your voice muttered the syllable faintly and feebly.

His name had started feeling unreal; had you truly known someone who reacted to Kim Taehyung? Or had you just repeated the word so often that it had begun sounding unnatural and strange to you?

“You wouldn’t hurt me, you told me,” you said, pressing your forehead against the door, “you broke your promise like every novel about lovers describes.”

You laughed at the irony of your story; when had you become the suffering character in a tragedy? Who was writing your fate like this?

“Officers?” you tried again, blinking. “If you’re here, you might want to talk to me first before…” You gulped, raising your voice. “Kim Taehyung isn’t here anymore.”

And then it dawned on you.

That.

Kim Taehyung was gone.

Kim Taehyung had left.

And also.

“Kim Taehyung isn’t coming back anymore,” you yelled louder, slamming your fist against the entrance again, “so you might as well stop looking altogether.”

You sniffled from the cold, closing your eyes. You rubbed your eyelids with parted lips, noticing the racing of your heart. Agony was catching up to you again, and you didn’t think you could do this again, right here, right now.

But life didn’t allow you to catch a break.

“Ask me. I know he’s gone,” you exclaimed, ripping your eyes open and hands ready to yank the door open the same way.

You wondered how many kicks could break it; or if any number of kicks even could. Who cared anyway? Not you – too lost, too crazed.

“Fucking open, because there’s nothing for you,” you spat, full-on hammering against the door now, probably bruising your hand, “there’s not even anything for me, so you can’t be, can’t be more privileged than me.”

Yet, nothing happened. The silence proceeded, and you couldn’t do anything to beat it.

You turned on the spot, your vision blurry. You slid down the door with a quavering chin, pressing the heels of your palms against your eyes until they hurt. The ground in front of his house was cold, shivering, bushes rustling and the gust of the wind howling between leaves.

Yet again, the baleful, sinister scene returned, out of a thrilling novel; it didn’t feel like the romance anymore that your story had started as.

You weren’t sure how long you sat there, relying on the warmth of your dress, your face freezing and tears drying. Your head was still turning in circles, and you didn’t trust your legs to carry you home safely just yet.

So you waited until the world stilled – with no avail.

Instead, a door opened. Next to you, a blurry figure appeared; dressed in a nightgown you recognised, holding the door tight, hair dishevelled and flowing over her shoulders.

She was calling your name, but you only heard it faintly – yet, you understood enough to realise who she was.

This time, he didn’t even take her with him. He left all alone, with nothing but his battered heart and cotton touch. How must he have felt, all lonely and without company? After years of close help, this was the first time he found himself thrown into the desert that the world was.

How was he doing? Was he thinking of you? Missing you? 

Would he escape the authorities for long enough, just until you found a way to bring him back? Or would he return by his own sheer will?

You didn’t know. You didn’t know.

Hana inched closer, crouching next to you, placing a hand on your face to make you look at her before she said, “I’ll be here.”

Red-rimmed eyes stared back at her, and she wiped at your tears, shaking her head as you asked, “Why?”

“Because he decided to fight alone this time. Because I was never wanted by the police the way he was. I just,” she dropped her hand, touching her knee, “need to leave this place. Find somewhere else to be, so I don’t get dragged back for fleeing the country.”

She smiled at you in reassurance; a feeble attempt to lift the tension. But you knew she was hurting as much as you were – if not a thousandfold. She was like a sister to him after all. They had taken care of each other when no one else could.

You and her – you shared the pain. She was all you had left of him. You were all she had left of him.

“How could this happen?”

Your voice was weak and hoarse when you spoke, and she rubbed her forehead, controlling her emotions. The slight flinches in her face revealed her true feelings, but neither you nor she elaborated on them.

“I’m not certain,” Hana answered, helpless and mourning, “but whatever it was, it wasn’t a selfish thing. I just know.” She paused and looked into your eyes, clearing her throat. “He left me a note. Nothing big, but… it’s all I got.”

The burning sting in your chest grew further. It spread across your body and boiled your insides; you didn’t know how much you still wanted to take. How much you could take before you collapsed.

“I… I didn’t get any,” you admitted, burying your face between your torso and your legs.

But Hana clicked her tongue, heaving a sigh as she stated, “I’m sure you did. You know him… he has a knack for the mysterious.”

So much he became a mystery, too.

“You just need to know where to look,” she continued, “and… even if he didn’t… I’m very sure he left pieces of his heart with you instead.”

You didn’t know what to answer. She didn’t know how to bring you solace.

So when you’d stopped staring into each other’s eyes, seeking peace or comfort in the fact that you shared your misery, she helped you up and sent you home eventually. You were quick to decline the offer to come in.

You couldn’t bear being in the rooms he’d been in. Hearing his voice, feeling the presence that was gone.

And your mind was whirring – too focused on whatever you could find. So you opened the door, left your shoes on, sprinted to your living room and scoured the bookshelf your aunt had gifted you years ago.

You pulled out your favourite books; ones you knew you had talked about to him. You leafed through the pages, turning the novels upside down. It took you four tries to finally find a piece of paper between one of the pages; and it was a bookmark.

Two more tries until another tiny letter floated to the ground, no bookmark or irrelevant document this time.

In a gentle, curved font, long fingers had written a note, for you to find whenever and in whichever way. You wondered if he’d expected for you to discover it this quickly. He always praised your intelligence – you hoped he still held onto it.

You unfolded the paper to reveal the last few words. Your eyes swelled with more tears; you were sick of crying, tired and devastated.

And then…

The hands of fate led me to you. Quietly and softly. And one day, they ought to drag me back to you, my angel… back to where my heart resides and my soul floats.

Or alternatively…

Alternatively.

You blinked at the paper, unsure what to do with it. Those were the only words he’d granted you, ripping you apart; where his heart resided and his soul floated. It sounded like a promise – like something to flood you with hope.

But hope was…

“Absurd,” you whispered, holding your forehead, fingers pressing into your temples.

You read the lines over and over again – alternatively, alternatively, alternatively.

And you didn’t understand until you turned the paper around, realising that he’d put more at the back, inconspicuous and small. Perhaps that was the breaking point. When you tumbled down with no way to recover.

Because.

I love you.

Hana was wrong.

He hadn’t left pieces of his heart with you. He’d left all of it there.

NOW

You still cherish the pumping organ he placed in your palms years ago.

Though, defective days bring defective thoughts.

In your lowest moments, you sometimes wonder whether he truly loved you. Did he write it down on some piece of paper and then just leave? No intention behind it, empty words and nothing more?

Why did he leave? Why do you still think of him?

He was just a man. Just a writer.

Just… just Kim Taehyung.

“What are you looking at?” a familiar voice calls from behind, and your eyes, dry and unfocused, blink rapidly.

“Just… the same as usual.”

You fold the newspaper into half. You can’t remember the headlines you read or what the printed letters speak about.

Lately, you’ve been drifting fast. When Taehyung left, you fell into a dark pit that showed no possibility to climb to the top again – you kept tapping in the dark. Then, things seemed to normalise – Hana told you it was denial, but you think you were progressing.

Then, last year, his existence crept up on you again, like a nasty bug impossible to shake off. Not that he’d ever left. But since then, he has lingered, haunted you, dark tresses and darker eyes chasing your thoughts, awake or asleep.

Speaking of which…

“Hana,” you call, dropping your eyes to a word in the newspaper, “have you heard anything about Yujin?”

Hana, gathering small and dirty clothes from the floor, freezes mid-action, looking up at your form on the chair before she sighs and admits, “Not since last year. Since… you know.”

None of you ever dares to say his name. He was a constant in both your lives, even if just for a fleeting moment for you; but he has become a ghost now. Sometimes, you wonder if he truly existed. He feels like a figment of your imagination on the worst days.

But last year marked an important event for you, and more for him.

In a quiet moment on a cold winter morning, you received unexpected news about his past yet most relevant affair. Yujin had apparently fought her way out of the mental institution, strolled to the police – with or without her family’s knowing, you still don’t know – and admitted her wrongdoings on a night of utter devastation.

According to herself, written in an apologetic letter, she’d broken down in a weak moment of guilt, unable to live with her mistakes. She wasn’t a bad person, she promised; she was certain that her younger self would have wanted her to admit her sins and stand up for them.

So she did. Put herself in the position of the big bad wolf and Taehyung out of it.

No matter what her family’s deal with the police was, she’d broken the bond when she’d begged and pleaded the officers to stop hunting him like an innocent doe. Tears were never sufficient, of course – but once she had come back with a fortune big enough to swoon them, they’d been silenced once and for all.

The happenings were surreal and sudden. None of you expected them to unfold like this – not after all those years, not with you involved in this equation.

But the worst thing was that the information reached you easily; but never him. Never the man in question, seeing the world alone; and no one but him could tell if he was even alive or not.

“You’re regressing,” Hana interrupts your thoughts, suddenly next to you and taking half a seat on the armchair, “and I don’t know what to do.”

“I’m not regressing,” you defend, leaning back with a sigh.

She mumbles your name, a hand on your shoulder as she says, “I know what he meant to you. And he was… is my cousin, too. But you need to start fighting your demons.”

But he’s your biggest one. And once possessed, how does one get rid of a demon?

If it’s Kim Taehyung… probably never.

“I just don’t understand, Hana,” you mutter, rubbing your tired eyelids, “why is he not coming back if Yujin opened up?”

“He might not know.”

“But this is a big thing. He would keep up with such information.” You’re desperate and hurting – it’s no secret. But your voice, strained, could tell a stranger that your heart is cracked, unable to heal. “I sometimes feel like I made him up.”

Hana’s ears perk up. It’s not the first time you’re confessing such a thing – at times like these, even Hana cannot help but agree, admitting that he has started feeling too far away from her.

If her existence right here in this town, next to you, didn’t prove that he had truly been here, she might have concluded along with you that he hadn’t been real.

“Like he never touched me. Never spoke to me or loved me. Or like he never left me with the last crucial piece of him,” you continue, your chest and head heavy, “and I hate feeling insane.”

“I know… I know.”

You wait, grieving through the silence with her. And when you find your voice and courage again, you state, “This is going to stay. Forever. I just don’t know if I have the strength to endure it.”

“There is no way for you to move on, is there?”

You contemplate.

Is there?

Not when certain things still remind you of him every single day. When he impacted your life to a burning, menacing degree.

Long ago, he entered your life like a sudden fresh gust of air. The time you spent in his company, reminiscing about your favourite novels and his dearest poems, wasn’t just an evanescent mingling of your souls.

He was here for a moment. Kim Taehyung.

He turned your world upside down… Kim Taehyung.

Hana knows. And Hana understands. The emotion you share the most with her is the love you both felt towards him. She still sees the agony in your eyes; how could she not?

Fiddling with her fingers, she looks away, uncertainty lacing her voice out of the blue as she begins, “I didn’t want to do this, because I felt like it’d damage you long term,” she pauses, and you stare up at her, a million question marks written in your eyes, “but I think I need to show something.”

A trait you have seen in both her and her lost cousin is the ability of sudden confessions. You think you have gotten fairly used to them; but at this moment, your mouth still drops and stays agape, and you can’t possibly guess what she’s talking about.

“What is it?”

Hana hesitates, wrapping the thin scarf around her shoulder that she threw on your coffee table haphazardly before. “I think it’s easier to just show you.”

And you guess, the less questions you ask, the faster you’d get to the mystery she was hinting at. 

She gives you no more than ten minutes to dress, so you can embark on your journey – her eyes flicker impatiently, her limbs restless. In a matter of minutes, her demeanour changes; and suddenly, she’s nervous, chewing on her lips, vehemently urging you to hurry up.

“We should take Sora with us,” Hana suggests, though there is purpose in her tone, like it’s part of a plan, “she should show her face sometimes anyway.”

“She needed to go to the neighbours.”

“Needed to.”

In the years without Taehyung and on your own, more people have entered your life out of the blue. They left and came back, never a constant, mercurial change of mind dragging them away and back to you.

Sora never left your side. She was a constant. You think that if Taehyung had waited, taken the chance to meet her, he would’ve loved her just as much as you do.

If not more than you ever would.

So you knock at the neighbour’s door, asking whether she is still here, and when she walks out, happy and excited as always, you listen intently. She always has a lot to say.

Her rambling distracts you from the adventure you have decided to live through, smiling whenever she builds up to the peak of a story. She likes Hana – is a dearer friend to her than to you sometimes.

And for once, you don’t fight for her attention in the playful manner you have gotten used to, glad that she’s indulging in teases and jokes with Hana. Because the moment you pass a newspaper stand on your way to a carriage, you hear something so peculiar that you come to a halt.

“Did you hear that?” you turn, staring at Hana who looks back at you with enormous doe eyes.

“Hear what?”

“The name he just said. He said something like… him singing in a tavern.”

Singers of ballads and operas in taverns aren’t rare. The conversation could be about anyone, talking about any tavern – but despite your growing insanity, you’re sure you didn’t mishear.

You waste more of your and your companions’ time, stepping closer to the seller, and his focus shifts from the casual conversation with a passenger to you. He smiles, joyfully and in a good mood, a hand on his knee as he asks, “Can I help you, pretty lady?”

You ignore the comment, shaking off your confusion and asking, “Who were you talking about?”

“Who was I talking about?” he questions back, his voice way too loud as he laughs.

Have you become cynical, irritated or is there actually no joke behind his response?

“You just mentioned a name.”

“I mean,” he barks, leaning forwards, “I say a lot of names every day.”

If you could just fight through your fears and mention his name. They are three syllables, harmless words; they shouldn’t block your language and lock your mouth like this. But when the knot of your tongue doesn’t let you utter his name, you feel heat rise to your face.

“You just said a freaking name. One single,” you step closer, furious; deep down, frustrated and hurt, “name. And it means something.”

“A young lady like yourself should not be cursi–”

“I apologise deeply,” Hana interferes, pulling you away.

You shake off the fingers wrapped around your bicep, taking a deep breath. More swears fall out of your mouth, irritation spreading through your mind and chest. Hope doesn’t exist anymore – you need to stop holding onto it.

Stop, stop, stop.

The rest of the way passes silently. The tension caused in the middle of the street still lingers when you enter the carriage. You still don’t speak when the buildings, houses and busy markets of the town vanish and quiet down.

As the greenery expands and nature showcases wide fields, sunflowers facing the bright yellow star in the sky, you begin to realise what way you might be heading. The canopy of trees and the empty paths… you have seen all of them before.

And when you leave the carriage, good thirty minutes later, and stare into the peaceful forest adorned by various families of plants, you confirm your gut feeling to be true.

Somewhere not far from you, there must be a river flowing softly.

And when you hear it, your mind turns upside down.

Water splatters from afar. Combined with the songs of the birds and the stillness of the place, a melodious sound; peaceful, resembling a fairytale. You clutch Sora’s hand on your right, smiling reassuringly. Hiding a heart beating in your throat proves harder than expected.

But the task reaches its peak on the mountain of impossibility when the pathway ends, giving way to the riverbank. The usually silent and empty stream is hidden behind a figure you spot today.

The person, a stranger on the first glance, sits on the grass with one leg angled up, propping an arm on it while the other hand presses against the ground. He is staring into the sun, though always a lover of darkness and shadows, and his hair strands sway in the light summer breeze.

You shoot a look at Hana, shaking your head, your waterline damp as your eyes ask, “How am I here? How is he here?”

The heart beating in your throat escapes through your mouth and floats through the air, making a bee-line straight to his feet where it drops.

On its knees for him.

He still loves to wear white, you realise. From your point of view and angle, dark raven hair hangs in his eyes, a miniature feather dangling from one of his earlobes. You think you recognise the earring, even now.

In front of the blue river water and light green nature, he looks like an angel sent from above. Like a scene from Garden Eden. Or Greek mythology. Like he was painted by Michelangelo himself.

As a dozen times before, you wonder if you’re hallucinating; stepping closer, but scared to touch him. He might dissolve – who truly knows? 

Your hands are a trembling and sweaty mess, and you let go of Sora, ignoring the pleas of your knees to buckle with all your willpower. You only realise that you’re crying when his voice chimes through the silence of the forest. Still so sweet; still so soft.

“A second visit in just two days?”

And then, he turns around.

You freeze on your spot the moment he does. A rectangle smile, blinding teeth flashing, falls when he detects you, contemplating whether he’s dreaming. Whether you’re made of dust particles that have taken your form to deceive, close to fading.

Behind you, you hear Hana speak up, her voice timid but loving as she remarks, “I knew you’d be here.”

But Taehyung doesn’t answer. You barely register it. Sora looks back and forth between the three of you, unsure what is going on, but not courageous enough to ask just yet. Instead, she leans against the tree, nibbling at her fingernails as she watches the scene unfold.

You can’t blame her for her confusion – she’s just a child after all.

“Since when…?” you mutter, looking at him, but speaking to Hana.

You’re utterly unable to look away; and he stays unblinking, too. Both your fingers twitch and ache for an embrace, your lips parted, a million thoughts and words begging to come out.

“Just a few days,” Hana clarifies; she sounds a little like she feels guilty, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.”

“Why…” you gulp, your voice unsteady, “why didn’t you?”

For a moment, it’s quiet. Then, you hear steps come closer, slowly and patiently; and before you can turn to her, she places a hand on your shoulder, her mouth close to your ear, so you’re sure he can’t hear much of what she utters.

“Because… it takes time and patience to get over heartbreak,” she explains further and you shake your head again. “Especially in the company of the same person who broke you. And you…”

She pauses, grabbing your chin softly to turn you towards her, making you look at him. “Do you think you are able to deal with all the memories? To relive them with him and talk through them?”

Is there much to talk about?

Much to say except the repeated words of how incomplete you felt? Cut in half with a dirty knife. Infected wounds, pushing you into a murky fever.

“I love him,” is all you argue; your eyes are filled with sadness, carrying a tinge of hurt and disappointment that she didn’t tell you when you needed it.

You move your head again to look at him, and he’s still sitting, though less lax than before. His body looks like it’s about to lift itself off the ground every moment now, but he’s petrified; you imagine his limbs must feel as heavy as yours.

Three small steps bring you close to him, and you finally drop to your knees, uncaring about the dirt and the new state of your cream-coloured dress. Together, you must look like a couple from paradise. If all the dark plot points of your lives weren’t still so fresh, you might feel the same.

Years ago, when you met, you think you felt the same.

“I loved… love you,” you repeat, finding your voice amidst the tumult your heart causes, “I still do.”

There are scars on your heart, and he’s still written in them. He cut you open wide – and his face right in front of yours flicks at least an inch of the wound.

He whispers your name… lifts his palm, shaking and nervous, letting a tear escape his eyes.

Taehyung still looks the same. On his forehead, there might be one or two more wrinkles. His skin has changed a little, the lines of his features sharper.

But he’s still him.

Taehyung.

Your Taehyung – a steady memory.

Warm fingers, as soft, soothing and devoid of calluses as a writer’s hand, graze your damp cheek and your jaw. You close your eyes for a moment, inhaling a sharp, shrill breath; your sobs splinter and smash his heart.

In all those years, he kept your existence alive by engraving your smile into his mind. That he’d meet the opposite emotion when you’d see him again was much expected; but it doesn’t pain him any less.

“Where did you go?” you whisper, your palm sneaking to his arm. “One night and that was it? How could you–”

“I just–” God. Whenever he speaks, you fall a bit more. “I needed to keep you safe… And…”

“And yourself.”

“And myse–”

“Do you have any idea how hard it was to–”

“I’m so sorry,” he mumbles, your words overlapping in constant interruptions, and soon you’re not sure what either of you is saying.

You hear his apologies – he hears yours, whatever they stand for. And a moment later, your hand rests at the nape of his neck, his buried in your hair, and you’re both crying in the middle of a forest, disrupting nature’s piece with your very own tragedy.

“I never stopped thinking of you,” he confesses, his voice quiet and hitching, “not… not one second.”

You breathe in through the nose, sniffling and still moving your head from the left to right, for whatever unknown reason. In a second of silence, Taehyung looks past you and from his sister to the child.

When your gazes meet again, you recognise sadness in his eyes, an unspoken question asking, “Ours?”

And you nod.

In his stance and sobs, his words and touch, you understand that he’s still filled with confusion you’ll need to clear. Just as much as you’ll need to comprehend the years he spent apart from you, only to walk in a circle and land back in your arms.

You’re not certain what the future might hold for you. With Yujin’s confession and Taehyung’s innocence, a logical voice tells you that hurdles have finally vanished; but you can’t quite say just yet how much weight to give this hope. Pain doesn’t just fade.

You can barely believe your eyes just yet.

But there are a few truths in this world that are universal. No matter what life throws at you, they won’t change.

One – you could never find the strength to unlove Taehyung.

Two – his touches are still soft as silk, like the thin scarf bound around his wrist; comforting to an ethereal degree.

And three – you used to think that behind his chest, no heart hammered but a stone rested. Despite his clear affection, he seemed hard to break until he did; your early days were laced with doubt and confusion.

Today, his eyes still look like stones.

But this time, they might be gems; onyxes.

okay, so i was kinda unsure about this fic, but did love writing it, so i hope you guys at least enjoyed it, too !! 🥺 i fell for this tae hard :((

also, please do support me/this fic by liking, commenting/leaving feedback, and most importantly, reblogging (even if it’s without a review)! it takes just a second and means a lot and it’s cool to do it hehe !! 🥺 also, feel free to talk to meee, i’m curiously awaiting anything y’all have to say 🥰 

thank you so much for reading, loves <333

[bebejungkook]

‧✧̣̇‧ The Art of Hating You

‧✧̣̇‧ Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

‧✧̣̇‧ Genre: one bed situation au, one sided enemies to lover aus, smut, fluff, angst.

‧✧̣̇‧ Warnings: jealousy, I mean it the jealousy in this bitch Is crazy, YN is seriously a bitch to Tae, cussing, alcohol, smut; unprotected sex, cream pie, begging, dirty talk, monster cock Tae, Rough sex, rough mouth fucking, clit biting, orgasm denial, dom!tae, restrained during sex?? Queen of Bratty subs reader, tae bends the fuck outta YN.

‧✧̣̇‧ Summary: You hated Kim Taehyung with a passion. You don’t know why, you just know that you hated everything about him, his smile, the way he laughed, his gorgeous face, the way he was so friendly to everyone. You find out he was also invited to Jimins birthday vacation, you tried to avoid him but somehow Jimin mixed up the rooms so now you and Taehyung shared a room. Oh and there’s only one bed, what could possibly happen?

‧✧̣̇‧ Word count: 7.4K

A/n: I’m unashamedly begging for feedback <3 this one was my biggest worry to post so reassurance would be nice🫶🏽

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Park Jimin was, in your own words, stupidly rich. It’s almost like he didn’t know what to do with his own money, except on his birthday of course. That’s when he pulled out all the stops. This year he planned a week-long birthday bash during spring break, Jiminchella he called it. He reserved the hotel and private plane his father owned, all so his friends could enjoy his favorite holiday.

Of course you said you’d go, everything was paid for plus, no Kim Taehyung. He was going to be at his girlfriend's beach house for the week, so you rejoiced since he was the very thorn on your side that just won’t leave you alone. You were too excited for this vacation. You packed days early and had a whole spa day so you would be glowing. You were ready to have the best vacation of your life.

When you arrived everything was taken care of. Your luggage was taken to your room and the poolside was sunny and ready for you. You thanked yourself for having your bikini under your clothes already, so now you can enjoy your time, basking in the sun. You were barely there for a couple hours and you were already having the time of your life.

But all your good feelings were tragically ruined when you spotted the familiar curly bunch of hair in the corner of your eyes. You ignored it hoping, praying, begging that it wasn’t him.

But then you saw his obnoxious blue Hawaiian shirt and your blood ran cold.

No it can’t be.

Please god, don’t let it be him.

That is not Kim Taehyung.

But it was in fact Kim Taehyung. You groaned, wiggling in your chair like a child who just got told no.

What was he doing here?!?

And why was he coming over here?

Taehyung has two drinks with him which you assume one's for you but you don’t care for his kind gesture. You’re just mad that he’s here and ruining your vacation.

He goofily stands in front of you, trying to hand you a drink.

“What the heck are you doing here?” You grunted as Taehyung motioned for you to grab the drink but oh no, not on your watch, you won’t accept anything from him even though you absolutely loved pina coladas.

“Jimin invited me.” Taehyung smiled, and shrugged before he started sipping on his drink leaving yours on the bar counter.

He watched you fold your arms across your chest like the very brat you were. Taehyung smirked, thinking that he really wants to see if you’re this bratty in other situations.

“Why?”

“What do you mean why? He’s my best friend.”

You groaned,” I know but I mean weren’t you going to go to your girlfriend's family beach house or something?”

“What?”

You scoffed, now he was just playing with you, he wanted to rile you up,” what are you? stupid? Your girlfriend! You were supposed to go to your girlfriend's beach house!”

Taehyung smirked, he had no girlfriend. He was invited to go to his friend’s beach house but ultimately chose not to. The way you seemed so annoyed bringing her up made his heart race with an icy feeling that he finds only you were ever capable of making him feel. Taehyung leans closer to you, so close you could smell the sweet sappy scent of his drink laced into his breath. It tickled your neck and raised the hairs on your arms, you sat frozen never having felt this tingly before.

“Oh? Is precious y/n keeping tabs on little ol’ me? How sweet.”

“I’m not!“ You blushed, finally moving away from him before he got too close. Taehyung sipped on his drink before clicking his tongue and cooing at your adorable pout.

“Don’t tell me you’re jealous sweetheart.”

“Jealous?!? Of what?!”

“Of my nonexistent girlfriend.” He smirked,” I’d much rather be here with you anyways so don’t worry baby I’m all yours.”

Taehyung winked and you felt something in you snap.

Your patience maybe.

“Shut up Kim Taehyung!” You shot up from your chair and grabbed the drink he brought, your cheeks were heavy with blush and your chest spinning with annoyance,”Why would I be jealous?!? Who would want to date a big headed weirdo like you anyways! Now leave me alone!”

You turned on your heels and walked off, drink in hand because you weren’t one to let a free drink go to waste.

Even if it was from your worst nightmare.

Maybe you were being an asshole, but you just couldn‘t stand Kim Taehyung. Something about him made you cringe and shutter, maybe it was his smile or the fact that he was always so happy and giddy around you, clumsy even. He would never act normal and it made your skin prickle with hatred for the poor man.

He was also insanely hot which angers you even more. How dare God make him so hot? What was the reason? Just to piss you off?

It was definitely working because you felt your blood boil as you watched Taehyung flirt with a girl in a skimpy bikini. Completely forgetting that you called him a weirdo just a second ago.

Who was she even?

She’s not even that cute.

You crossed your arms laying back down in the tanning chair. You just needed to relax, soak up some sun and forget the son of a bitch who makes it his life mission to torture you. You sighed, snuggling up in your chair, at the tip of relaxation. Any second now you’d feel completely cool and calm.

But then something big covered the beautiful warm sun from hitting you. Interrupting your state of relaxation. You prayed, again, that it wasn’t Taehyung, but God made sure you knew you were not Gods favorite.

“Want me to put sunscreen on you sweetheart?” Taehyung cooed, hoping to get on your good side, but nothing could get this caveman on your good side.

Not even his cute smile.

“I don’t want your slimy hands on me Kim Taehyung,” You kept your eyes closed,” now move you’re in the way of my sun.”

Taehyung bit his lip before pulling up a chair next to you,” you can just call me Taehyung you know, taetae is okay too.”

“There’s lots of things I want to call you but TaeTae isn’t one of them.”

Taehyung relaxed in his chair, he found you so undeniably sexy and he had the nastiest urge to put you in your place.

“We’ll see about that now won’t we?” Taehyung licks his lips as his eyes dance all over your body. He took in every curve and mark, memorizing it for his own lewd dreams.

He was too excited for tonight, when you’d find out just who your roommate was going to be. He just hoped you won’t be too upset.

You open one eye to see if Taehyung left since he was oddly quiet but there he was, laying back, shirt off and thrown on his lap very badly hiding the massive tent that was there. You shook your head, you won’t let your love for monster cocks catch you off guard. You don’t care how delicious it looked in his pants. You won’t slip up, no matter how badly you wanted it to destroy you, especially because this one was owned by the very man you despise.

The same man whose body was making you tremble. His tan skin looked almost golden under the sun, a little dewey from his sweat but your primal instincts wanted you to lick off each drop of sweat from his body.

You need to get laid.

You huffed causing Taehyung to open one eye to glance at you.

“You want some sunscreen now?” He said in a serious tone which upset you because how dare he try to be so caring?

He barely knows you.

You shutter and turn your head to ignore him again. This time though, he sighs and gets up from his chair. You sneakily watch him leave, his broad shoulders and tiny waist make your mouth water.

Why does he have to be so sexy?

You’re upset again and act like the lonely feeling in your chest was one of victory. Taehyung never actually did anything to you. He just existed but you felt like that was cause enough for you to hate him. His stupid smile and his gorgeous eyes sometimes met you in your dreams, glowing just for you.

But you hated it. You hated thinking about him and the weird stupid feelings you got when you did.

“Stupid Taehyung.” You grumbled when you saw him walking to sit prettily next to Jimin at the bar, unashamedly staring back at you.

Jimin was Taehyungs best friend since kindergarten. Bros until death do them part. He prided himself in the fact that Taehyung looked to him for advice or help when it came to his love life.

And he would be proud right now, except Taehyung asked him to do something that he knew would get him in a lot of trouble with you. He hated that he couldn’t say no to Taehyung when he really wanted to because Jimin does not want to deal with the flame of anger that is you.

“You owe me so bad, she’s going to absolutely tear my ass open.” Jimin rubbed his face as Taehyung watched you with those stupid lovey dovey eyes that Jimin knows, makes Taehyung do the absolute most for the person he’s smitten for.

“Yea yea whatever.” Taehyung waved him off, you weren’t so scary.

You may act tough but Taehyung knows better, he knows how sweet and warmhearted you are.

Of course not to him, but he’s seen you give your freshly bought sandwich to a homeless man and then run inside to buy him a drink. He’s heard you console a friend who had been broken up with and Taehyung thinks you were an Angel with the kindest heart he’s ever known.

Except once you saw him you turned into a demon that demanded to know why he was even looking at you. It was like he was the bane of your existence. But Taehyung saw this as an opportunity, he wanted to get you alone and finally find out why you hated him so much. He wasn’t going to force you to stay with him, he made sure Jimin had an extra room just in case but it tore him apart knowing that the girl he loved hated him.

And for no reason whatsoever.

Taehyung stared at you and stopped himself from going to ask a third time if you wanted sunscreen. He just wanted to touch you and be near you, he wanted to press his fingertips against the flesh of your thighs. He wanted to feel your collarbones, and feel the way your breasts feel against his hands.

“She’s going to fuck you up Taehyung,” Jimin reminded him, breaking his train of thoughts,” you’re so dead.”

“I know,” Taehyung smirked,” I can’t wait.”

You didn’t see Taehyung for the rest of the evening. You rejoiced and used the massage coupon that Jimin had so graciously gifted you because he claimed you were his best friend and he needed you calm and relaxed for the big party. After your massage you basically glided to your room, head empty and body numb from the deep state of relaxation you were just in. You opened the door and saw the lights were turned on.

No biggie, they might have turned on by themselves.

You walked in and dropped your towel on a chair to start taking your tshirt off not noticing the man that was laying on the bed, watching Tv, patiently waiting for the mess that was going to ensue.

“Hi sweetheart.”

You shrieked, hiding your bikini even though he saw you in it a couple of hours ago.

“What the hell are you doing here?!?” You yelled, but Taehyung was unphased. He smirked, eyeing your body that looked even better in this lighting.

“This is my room.”

“Oh hell no.” Your stare made the ache in Taehyungs heart hurt no less than before.

But he pushed through with a greasy smile.

“Oh hell yes.”

“This must be a mistake,” You gathered your towel and your bags that you just now realized were already inside the room,” wait how-“

“Come sit YN~ let’s watch a movie together.” Taehyung patted the bed next to him and that’s when you again just realized that there was only one bed.

One bed.

One big comfy bed.

You felt anger burst from your toes ripping ever seem in your body until it reached your head.

“Get out.”

“Nope.”

“Get out! You big-” you huffed,” you big stupid monkey! This is MY room! See how there’s only one bed?”

“Yea we're supposed to share sweetheart,” Taehyung again patted the empty spot next to him,” promise I won’t bite,” he smirked,” unless you want me to, then I’ll bite you all over baby.”

Taehyung winked and you felt like a volcano burst in your chest, hot angry lava squeezing out of you.

But instead of yelling you closed your eyes and turned around.

“I’m going home.” It was the only solution since you knew Park Jimin had this entire hotel booked.

“Wait YN! I was kidding,” Taehyung shot up from the bed, almost tripping on the blankets so he could get to you, his eyes wide and anxious,” I went too far! I’m sorry- y/n-“

You ignore him and gathered your luggage, you were oddly calm on the outside but on the inside you wanted to kick and scream.

“Y/n please don’t go,” Taehyung grabs the luggage from your hands, forgetting that he was the stronger one from you both,” please don’t go.”

You looked at him, pouty and heart racing. You don’t say anything but you let him talk.

“I promise I won’t be weird, you can have the bigger pillows and- and- I’ll get up early to get breakfast for you tomorrow.” He pleaded, he really didn’t want you to leave.

And something in you didn’t actually want to leave.

“Please stay? Jimin would be really sad that you’re leaving- we- you’re going to miss the pottery class..” His voice trailed as he internally cursed himself for pushing you too far.

“…how’d you know about the pottery class?” You asked since Jimin had multiple events planned his guests could do and Taehyung seemed to know about the one you were most excited about.

“I- I just figured, since you like art and stuff,” Taehyung lied through his teeth, he won’t tell you that he suggested it to Jimin just for you,” you won’t want to miss the big party either.”

Something about the way he spoke to you made you ease up just a little. You looked into his eyes and felt calmer, maybe it was just a mistake. Shit happens, Jimin might have messed up but Taehyungs right he’d be sad if you left now. Plus you would miss pottery night and you really didn’t want to do that. You sighed loudly before letting him take your luggage,” I get the side next to the ac.”

Taehyung smiles and wants to hug and kiss you but goes against his heart's wishes since he’s already been pushing his luck with you. He’s decided to let you do your own thing but it got harder to not bother you after you came back from taking a shower. The air was thick and silent, adding pressure to the weight in his heart. You wore these tiny shorts and button up pj shirt that made him want to rip them off of you, especially since he can tell you had no bra under. The way you breasts seemed extra pillowy and bouncy, you definitely had no bra on and he wanted to shove his face in them and suffocate on their taste. Taehyung wonders if you had any panties on either. He couldn’t help but feel so lustful for you, you just looked so sexy brushing your teeth while watching Diners, Drive Ins and Dives.

Aside from making his cock harder with each sound you made, his heart beat like a drum in a marching band. You seemed calm and okay with his presence so maybe now was his chance to finally ask you why you hated him so much. He waits for you to finish your night time routine, when you snuggle under the blankets, right next to him. His fingertips felt numb from tapping them along the bed sheets, his heart welled in his chest but he had to do it.

Do it.

Ask her.

Taehyung turns the tv off making you grunt and look back at him but his eyes avoid yours,“Yn why do you hate me?” Taehyungs voice is low and calm, like he’s been practicing this same question for days now.

He catches you off guard since you didn’t expect him to ask.

“You act all goofy, it’s- it’s annoying,” you whispered, causing him to laugh, not chuckle or giggle but a hearty laugh that has you blushing.

“Why- Why is that funny?”

“Seriously because I act goofy?” He chuckled.

“Yea?”

“Do you know why I act goofy?”

“Because you’re annoying?” You snorted, wasn’t it obvious?

“No silly, I act goofy because you make me nervous.” Taehyung explains hoping you’d get why.

“Why?”

Okay. You obviously didn’t get why. He takes a deep breath before looking right into your eyes, the brown swirls of your irises make him want to get lost in the sweet aura of them.

“Because I like you YN.”

“What?”

“I like you. I have a big fat nasty crush on you.”

You stayed silent, mouth open and heart racing. You didn’t know how to respond so you decided not to.

“I’m going to sleep now! Stay on your side.”

You swiftly moved under the blankets, hiding from his confession. You didn’t feel him move but you felt his eyes on you, making guilt sweep through your body. You finally heard him sigh, which broke your heart, but then he laid down turning the lights off before whispering a sad’ Good night.’

You tried to sleep but aside from the ache in your heart, Taehyung just wouldn‘t stop moving and sighing very loudly. You snap at him because you’re supposed to be up and early tomorrow for a shopping spree, courtesy of Jimins mother.

“Oh my god Taehyung go to sleep!”

“I can’t.” Taehyung muttered and you hear the heartbreak across your mountain of pillows.

“Just close your eyes!” You suggested but you knew he had them closed, you just wanted him to shut up.

“I am,” Taehyung slowly says and each word is like an arrow into your heart,” but I still can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I can‘t stop thinking about you,” he sits up,” You totally broke my heart.”

You scoff and snuggle into your blankets to bury your feelings in them,“You’re being dramatic.”

“I just confessed to you and instead of kissing me you go to sleep. I get to be dramatic-“

You quickly sit up, almost offended that he expected a kiss,“Why would I kiss you?!?”

But the next few words he speaks drive the steak right through your heart. Obliterating whatever was left of it.

“Because you like me too.”

“What?” He smirked and you wanted to smack that sexy smirk right off of his face,” You self absorbed asshole- what makes you so sure I like you?”

“I just know, you don’t actually hate me, I just make you feel things you don’t understand.”

Taehyung shrugs, he had you stunned again, how dare he imply that you like him. You feel called out, embarrassed that he’d read you so easily.

No way.

Impossible.

You hate him.

But he does make your heart race a little?

And you do like the way he smiles.

What did he do to you anyways?

You racked your brain for even just a small memory of him doing something but nothing comes up. You try to sift through the reasons, but now they don’t seem so bad anymore.

They seem cute and justified.

Because he likes you.

You liked to win but you weren’t a sore loser, you could admit when you were wrong. Okay, you were a sore loser, you couldn’t admit it but Something about the way Taehyung was being vulnerable with you made you want to show him that side of you too.

“M-Maybe my anger was..misplaced,” You played with your thumb, pouting and avoiding his eyes,” maybe I don’t hate you like I thought, maybe it’s the opposite or whatever.”

You shrugged feeling a tremendous weight lifted off of your shoulders. You finally looked Taehyung in his eyes and you were not disappointed with his reaction. Taehyung was grinning from ear to ear, his ears red with love for you.

Taehyung took this opportunity to close the gap between you two, destroying the pillow wall that so cruelly separated you from him. His hands cupped your cheeks as his lips molded so beautifully against yours. Like a puzzle piece that finally found it’s missing half, a kiss that felt like a complete piece of art. Then you felt his tongue pressing against your lips, you savored his taste, you memorized the texture of him against you.

The kiss was a lot messier and hotter than planned, Taehyung takes it to the next level when he pushes you against the bed. His body so hotly on top of yours and hands pinning your arms above you so his mouth could peacefully paint a mosaic of hickies on your neck, you whined trying to grind up into him but his heavy hips stopped you from getting any friction.

“Taehyung,“You grunted when his teeth nipped just a little too hard.

Taehyung lifted his head and you saw his whole being change right in front of you. He was no longer going to be soft and so giving. Taehyung was going to teach you a lesson.

“Oh?” He smirked,” look at you, whining for me when just a second ago you were calling me an asshole. But now you want me?”

“Taehyung-“

“Do you think you can just get whatever you want so easily? Where’s the effort y/n? Where’s my apology? My confession?”

You groaned,” I confessed already!”

But Taehyung wanted a proper confession.

“Doesn’t count, apologize and tell me you love me.” Taehyung smirked, this would be your one chance for redemption, and it was tempting since his cock felt so heavy against your pussy that it made you want to renounce any feminism left in your body. But you weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of an apology.

Not yet at least. You wanted to play just a little.

“Fuck you and your apology.” You spit out, smirking when Taehyungs smile turned sour.

Something tells you, you probably shouldn’t have said that but you couldn’t help it. It was in your nature.

Your heart and pussy waited for what he was going to do and you think you don’t have to wait long because Taehyung clicks his tongue in disappointment before getting up from his position to let go of your hands. He sits up on top of your thighs, and sinfully licks his lips while untying the strings of his sweats. His eyes hooded and dark with lust.

“You know what y/n?“ Taehyung spoke as his slender fingers pushed sweats and black Calvin Kleins down to reveal his thick aching cock. He strokes himself, grunting when you try to sit up.

But no, he was in charge right now, you weren’t going to have your way,” I’m going to give you one last chance. This time think about what you’re going to say sweetheart. Really think about it.”

You don’t think about it, you just let the words slip from your lips.

“Fuck you.”

Taehyungs had enough, he decided right then and there that he was going to ruin you. You deserved no mercy. He moves on top of your body so his cock now hovers your face. Taehyung smoothed his hand down his cock before growling out his command.

“Stick your fucking tongue out.” Taehyungs jaw

clenched as he messily rubbed his tip all over your lips, you looked up at him with hooded eyes before obediently opening your mouth to lewdly stick your tongue out for him. His dark expression quickly shut you up, but also excited you.

“Good girl.” Taehyung rested the head of his leaking cock on your outstretched tongue and slowly rocked against the warmth and wet of it. Spit gathered on the corners of your mouth, waiting to be collected by him.

“Take a deep breath.” Taehyung breathes out a moan before feeding more of his cock into your mouth. You close your eyes and huff, you've wanted to choke on him ever since you saw his bulge earlier.

You understood now, you didn’t want to just rip his dick off, you wanted to rip it off from coming on it so hard.

It all makes sense.

Taehyung doesn’t care if you’re ready for it or not, he reaches the back of your throat and you gag on him,”Baby, Ah, your fucking mouth-“

The feeling of your throat around him has his hips diving deeper into your mouth, fucking it softly for the time being.

He enjoys the way your hands claw at his ass, pulling him deeper into your mouth until your nose touches his skin. You gag repeatedly, brain begging you to do the sensible thing and take it out.

But a hot combination of his hitched moans, and the way he stutters your name makes you want him to live in your mouth. He fucks harder and a little faster like it wasn’t your mouth he was fucking. You breathe through your nose like you’re a pro but you love the way he suffocates you.

“You look so good gagging on my cock yn,” Taehyung moans and pulls out so you can breathe, you practically gasp for air but quickly lick the tip that he so lewdly smacks you with. Arousal shoots down your spine directly in your pussy, making it sticky and impatient,” you’re driving me crazy.” He whispers as his cock makes itself comfortable in your mouth again. His hand threads through your hair as he continued his harsh pace but Taehyung feels his edge coming at an alarming rate. Maybe it’s because its the added love in his bones but he pulls back, cooeing when he sees a string of saliva and precum connecting you two. It snaps against your lips and he wants to lick you clean.

Taehyung hastily removed himself from your chest to get rid of his clothes, excitement surges through your body so you wait patiently.

“You okay baby?” He asks when he sees you cleaning the corner of your mouth.

You nodded, feeling shy that you couldn’t take his cock like you wanted to. You wanted him in the deepest part of your throat but your gag reflex was your worst enemy.

“You did really good,” Taehyung lays on top of you once again to kiss the ghost of his love bites that bruised your neck ,”do you want your reward?”

“Y-Yes please.” Your voice was rough, making your blush harder than you already were. Taehyung harshly undresses you, ripping open your shirt to reveal that his suspicions were true, you had no bra underneath. He throws it somewhere you absolutely do not care for at the moment, you squealed when his hands yanked your panties off, nearly dragging you along with them. His lips quickly wrapped around your nipple, sucking on the bud so softly it contrasted to his other hand that pulled on one harshly. You whined but he doesn’t stop until your nipple is swollen and glossy with spit.

Taehyung slowly leaves kisses on every inch of your body until he reaches your pussy, it practically glowed with arousal. He placed sweet kisses around you, until his arm reached over to uncover your clit and wrap his lips around it. He didn’t give you the satisfaction of even just a tiny bit of suction, he just wanted to feel your clit on his lips.

You looked down at Taehyung, whining and silently begging him to do anything but you weren’t prepared for the soft, wet tongue on your clit. You gasped and arched your back, burying your fingers in his hair. He pulled back from your clit to nip and bruise his art on your thighs,” I’ll never get tired of this.”

Taehyung wet his lips before his jaw dropped open to lick your slit in one slow motion, you wanted to call him a pervert but he stopped the words from coming out of your mouth. You whined again pulling his curls to get him closer, deeper in you but his arms anchored you around his head as his plush lips wrapped around your clit once again but this time giving it the sweet suction it wanted.

You sighed before closing your eyes as Taehyung dived down to lap at your hole that was practically leaking. Taehyung feels like you haven’t learned your lesson though. You haven’t apologized or even told him that you felt the same way he feels for you. Taehyung wants you to yelp in pain, he wants you to push his head away from your glossy cunt so he cruelly pulls away from your pussy to very lightly bite down on your swollen clit. You do exactly what he wants and squeal from the pain, you're calling out to him asking him what he’s doing but he repeatedly bites down, dragging his teeth until the word ’stop’ sits on the tip of your tongue. And as you’re about to scream out, he suddenly pulls away from you. Taehyung settles on top of your body once again to kiss your swollen lips.

“What’d you do that for?” The tears on your eyes bring him satisfaction.

“I'm sorry baby you didn’t like that?” Taehyung kissed the tears that formed because of him.

“N-No.”

“I’ll make it up to you~” he cooed and traveled down your body once again to kiss your clit in apology. You winced in sensitivity but felt your edge a lot closer because of the pain.

“I’m- I‘m gonna cum Taehyung-“ You huffed, fisting the blankets when you feel his tongue softly lap at your clit. Your pussys pulsating, wanting its release, you’re so close, so close. You feel it glowing at the tips of your fingers.

But Taehyung feels you clenching around his tongue and that’s when he decided that he was done.

“Well that’s too bad isn’t it?” He smirked.

“Taehyung!” You pulled his hair so his face hovered over your very abused pussy but he pushed your hands off to crawl on top of your body to face you. His lips are shiny and puffy as he licks them clean, you whine when his tongue licks the underside of your jaw, over your lips and cheeks. Taehyung spreads your essence all over your face which makes your pussy glow with want for him.

You wanted more though, you feel like you deserve more. You’ve been good, you’ve been listening to him and not talking back.

So why isn’t he touching you?

You decided to risk it and guide his hand that’s on your hip, towards your pussy, swiftly moving his fingertips against your drenched folds,” feel how wet I am Taehyung.” You whisper hoping to convince him to touch you but he only scoffs.

“Ya I just made you that wet.”

You push one of his fingers to play with your clit, eyelashes fluttering to convince him more,” you can make it even wetter if you want.”

Taehyung clicks his tongue before nipping at the spot right under your ear.

“What a selfish, needy brat, trying to take something without giving back.” He scoffed,” I’m not fucking you until you admit that you like me.”

“Taehyung I can’t,” you whined, humping his hand that was between your legs,” it’s embarrassing.”

“Why?” His fingers teasingly rubbed circles around your clit, never giving you the pleasure you craved,” you weren’t shy about gagging on my cock but you can’t tell me about your feelings?”

You huffed against his neck, he was right but you felt your whole body blush just thinking about confessing your feelings.

Feelings. Yuck.

“Ilikeyou.” You quickly muttered, feeling satisfied with it you moved to kiss his puffy lips.

But he wasn’t having it. He wanted to hear you say it, he wanted to memorize the way the words sound coming from your beautiful pout, like a poem that swoons his heart.

“Nope,” he moved his head away,” Loud and Clear, exactly like how you were moaning my name earlier.”

Taehyung smirked, watching you with hooded eyes as you brought his hand from your pussy up to your mouth. You both stare at the string of your release connecting his fingers. You wanted him so bad, you needed him. Lust took over all of your senses so you didn’t think twice before licking all over his hand. The wet of your saliva replaced the wet that shined from your pussy, making him groan. Taehyung stared at your mouth, and the way you lightly sucked on his finger. His mouth agape and occasionally cursing from how good it felt.

“Fuck turn around,” Taehyung quickly lifted himself from your body leaving you cold and aching,” get on your knees.”

You do as he says, now believing that he won’t give you what you want unless you’re good. You wiggle your ass for him, hoping he’d just tear your pussy apart but Taehyung scoffs and slaps the flesh of your ass. It leaves a red mark of his hand and he gulps, but he won’t slap you a second time.

He spits on his cock and watches you reach behind you to spread your lips apart for him. Taehyungs tip hovers over your clenching entrance like a cute sort of kiss to you. He almost wants to giggle but your whine brings him back and he roughly thrusts the very tip inside. You wince but love the pain that gives you goosebumps. He slowly feeds you more, totally getting off on your moans and whines. He feels on top of the world right now, he’s dreamt of this moment for years and now here you were the woman of his dreams begging him to fuck you into oblivion.

Your clenching feels delicious on his cock, it leaves him speechless. He won’t speak if it means he gets to hear you wanting him. Taehyung pulls out just so his tip is in you but then suddenly rams his whole cock back inside. You have to hold on to the wall in front of you otherwise his thrusts would send you into a concussion.

“Is this what you want Y/n?”

“Yes! Oh fuck-“ you choked on your spit as Taehyung rammed into you, his pace hard and rough,” Taehyung oh my god-“

“You like it sweetheart? You like my cock?”

He hands gripped at your ass, nails digging into your cheeks.

“Tell me how much you like it, Y/n.”

The bed frame starts to smack into the wall but neither of you care. You only care about the feeling of his cock stretching you, making you see galaxies.

“Y/n,” Taehyung smacks your ass, this time with a heavier hand,” talk to me baby.”

“F-Fuck me,” you moaned as you arched your back so you can get that extra stretch from him,” Harder- please-“

Taehyung abruptly pulls out, you whine for the millionth time that night because you were so close and he just had to pull out now? He flips you over as his hands find the back of your thighs. He pushes them to your chest so your pussy was completely vulnerable to him. Taehyung thrusts his girthy cock back inside of you but this time your pussy is a lot more welcoming to him.

He’s a lot slower with his thrusts, but they were still hard and heavy. The sound of his cock hammering inside you brought a deep blush in his chest, he loved it more than he should. The slick noises and skin slapping against each other made him a lot hornier than he was already.

Taehyung feels impatient now, he wants to feel you cum around him. He wants to see your eyes roll back in ecstasy.

He needs it.

Taehyung towers over you so his cock hits deeper into you. His necklace dangling in front of you, moving back and forth but you're distracted by the finger on your clit that's smothered with his touch.

“Cum for me baby.” he whispers and you feel your orgasm rip you apart, spreading goosebumps all over your skin. It leaves you silently gasping, fingernails digging into his forearms to ground you.

“So fucking beautiful. Fuck!” Taehyung doesn’t stop his pace, instead he moves just a little bit faster. You’re numb from your orgasm but you feel his hips stuttering and fighting through your tight clenching.

“I’m gonna cum-“

You rub his arms and Taehyung falls on top of you, letting go of your thighs to wrap his arms around your body. He pulls you in closer, tits pressing on his chest and the cold of his necklace burns on your skin. You want him to cum in you, you almost needed it.

“Cum in me taetae.”

Taehyung chokes on his spit as he takes in the way his nickname rolled off of your tongue. His cock pulsates inside you,“Ah shit, fuck, baby-“

His cum feels warm and thick inside you, if you weren’t so damn tired you would be fidgeting from the weird feeling but you stay still, letting him fuck his cum inside you. He moans one last time before he makes sure to empty every last bit of cum inside you. He doesn’t want to pull out but he wants to see his creation. He wants to see the mess he made, the mess he made because of you. Taehyung catches his breath before holding himself up with shaky arms. He sits up, pulling his hips back as his cock hits his stomach with a wet smack. You whine from sensitivity, but you clench knowing what Taehyung wanted to see.

His cum drips out of you, and Taehyung intensely watches it. He licks his lips, very tempting to fasten his mouth back on your swollen pussy but doesn’t because he knew you’d fall asleep and he wanted you awake and noisy.

Taehyung does, however, kiss your clit before going to the bathroom and getting something to clean you with. He comes back and you wince when cleans the drops of cum from you.

You feel your heart swirl with love, maybe now is the perfect chance to give him what he wanted.

“Taehyung I’m sorry,” you sleepily whisper,” I love you.”

Your simple confession and apology was like a silver bullet, excruciatingly piercing his heart and absolutely killing him. He wants to clench his chest but he keeps cleaning you, kissing your sleepy pout.

“I love you too.” Taehyung finally says, with just a little bit of shakiness in his voice. He’s waited for this for so long but now he doesn’t know what to do with himself. Should he run to Jimin and tell him everything or keep you in his arms until you push him away? He decides cuddling you would be a better option. Besides Jimin is probably having in orgy back in his room and Taehyung would hate to interrupt.

A couple hours later, the sun wakes you up, you groan burying yourself in the warmth of your blankets. Your hand reaches out to Taehyung hoping he’d get the hint and squeeze you but you find the other side of the bed empty, no sign of him. You thought he might be in the shower but when you laid quietly the room was completely silent aside from the hum of the ac. Maybe it was a dream, you think, but the ache between your thighs and the bruises that cover your body were evidence that last night really did happen.

You fucked Kim Taehyung.

And you told him you loved him.

You squealed, completely embarrassed about last night but then you heard a tiny knock on the door and immediately the butterflies in your tummy fluttered all over. You felt nauseous, shaking with an emotion you used to mistake for hate but now know it was love. You groaned before getting up to open the door, you grabbed a robe that was courtesy of Jimins care package. You opened the door there he was balancing three plates filled with different food in his hands with the room key in his mouth. His heart swells and aches seeing you, his hickies on your neck and your pretty face puffy from sleep. Taehyung swiftly walks in before setting the plates on the desk inside. He kisses your cheek before fixing up breakfast.

You’re left to sit on the bed, questions floating inside your head. You figured you won’t get any answers unless you ask them.

“Taehyung what happens now?”

“What do you want to happen now?” Taehyung stopped setting up the plates so he can give you his undivided attention since he knew your mind must be going into overdrive with questions. He pushes you back so you’re laying down, he towers over you, hands on each side of your head. His necklace dangles in front of your face and you have to stop yourself from putting it in your mouth.

“I don’t know,” you huffed,” what do you want to happen?”

Taehyung chuckled, seeing you shy like this was giving him the biggest heart boner,” I want to be in a relationship with you.”

Your eyes grew wide, blush blooming from cheeks to your ears.

“Like…girlfriend and boyfriend?”

“Yes,” he pecks your glossy lips,” girlfriend and boyfriend.”

“That’s so embarrassing.” you whispered which made Taehyung chuckle because of how cute you were.

“Totally embarrassing.” He kissed you once again but this time didn’t hesitate to deepen the kiss. His hands untie your bathrobe and you feel all tingly again.

You and Taehyung let your breakfast get cold because Taehyung decided that he’d rather be eating you but you weren’t going to miss the bottomless jimimosas that were promised for lunch. So you pushed Taehyung and his dangerous lips away from your swollen clit to get ready. You were nervous since everyone would ask why you both were gone. Everyone knew you hated Kim Taehyung, it was your brand.

You decided to pretend like nothing happened, maybe no one would even notice. You brushed it off and finished getting ready for Jimins lunch buffet.

No one will even notice.

Except they definitely did notice, everyone at the table stopped what they were doing just to gawk at you two. It was so obvious what had happened, and Taehyung, again, didn’t care to hide the obvious. He wanted to flaunt you, he wanted everyone to know that you are his now. He had his shirt halfway unbuttoned, showing off the artwork you left on him. You stood by Taehyung fidgeting and hoping no one would make a big deal but Taehyung never cared about what anyone thought so his fingers easily found yours and laced them together making you blush even harder than you were before. You didn’t push him away which made the scene even weirder to take in.

No one spoke but watched you follow Taehyung as he served your plate. You stayed close to him, feeling incredibly shy. Which was very, very uncharacteristic of you. Usually you’re a social butterfly but now you avoided everyone and even snuggled into Taehyungs side because they just kept staring. Taehyung noticed and kissed your pouty lips. You swore you heard a couple gasps and whispers. That’s when Taehyungs head snapped towards everyone, heart beating with annoyance.

“What?” Taehyung spoke to everyone at the table,”I can’t kiss my girlfriend in peace?”

Jimin chuckled, biting his lip since he expected you to be the one with the fiery response,” Kiss your girlfriend all you want taetae.”

Taehyung grinned and kissed your cheek with a greasy smile. You whined and nudged him off of you but you exhaled the anxious cloud that built up in your chest, you felt glad that everyone there accepted this change.

Yourself included.

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A/n: 🫣🫣🫣 this took longer than expected 🫶🏽 sorry for taking so long to write it but also let’s all flood my Sam @justanotherstarlightmonger with love because without Sam????? This fic would still be in the drafts….

Please leave a comment and tell me if you liked it this fic took a lot out of me so it would mean a lot to get feedback

🏷: @azula-karai-27 @raezzii @seokondeeznuts @dylan-kai2008 @seokjennieee @quoffnicity-blog @jjkeverlast @anila127 @hey-itslulu @i-dont-give-a-fok @sweetempathprunetree @soeur-de-ame @quoffnicity-blog @pamzn @supernoonanyc @tofc-bts @shyna-s @dearlyjmn @parkdatjimin @amourtae