#taemin was the hardest all things considered

[xiuhunsoo]

got tagged by @bethereforme for a:

🖤✨ bias check ✨🖤

i'm not actively into a lot of groups anymore so rip

tagging @amaranth @littlesunshinedae @myeonplane @xiuminscheeks and @xiu-bee

[i94so]

. . . ✿﹐standing at just 165 centimeters tall, this starlet will remind you of chaos, beauty, and everything found in between followed by the smell of rosewater, fresh vanilla, and dark cherries, & the feeling of curling into bed after a long day.

✿　⸻   TAPE ONE : IN BLOOM ! 

BIRTH NAME.   lee so hee STAGE NAME / KNOWN ALIAS.  han so hee NICKNAME(S).  —

DATE OF BIRTH.   november 18, 1994 AGE.   twenty-nine ( 29 ) PLACE OF BIRTH.   ulsan, south korea  ZODAIC.   sun in scorpio, moon in taurus, rising in aquarius

GENDER  +  PRONOUNS.   cis woman + she/her

RELATIONSHIP STATUS.   single CRUSH / LOVE INTEREST.   lee taemin of shinee ROMANTIC ORIENTATION.   demiromantic SEXUAL ORIENTATION. pansexual

PIERCINGS  +  TATTOOS. there have been moments where she had multiple face piercings, but after trying them, she removed them. instead, she just has standard ear lobe piercings. most of her tattoos were removed for her career, but so hee has two that fans can occasionally see ( on her right side and a floral one on her waist ) while others are still hidden from view.

MAIN OCCUPATION. actress, model

LANGUAGES. korean ( native ) + english ( basic )

PERSONALITY. traits quirks habits curious. indecisive. playful. kind. worrisome ( about those she cares about ). anxious ( at times ). cautious in trusting others. very expressive, even outside of work. passionate. determined. loyal. a bit secretive. calm, but bright. stubborn. meticulous. reserved around people she isn’t close with, but is still polite. creative. spontaneous. independent. open-minded. can come across as cold or aloof at times.

LIKES. blackpink ( her favorite member is jennie ). comfortable clothing. dresses ( because they're easy to put on ) or workout attire. loves to hear : "let's meet again!" / "let's meet again soon!" the color black. ramyeon ( it's her favorite food ). loves all animals ( she does not have a favorite ). rock / indie / alternative music. films, especially noir ones. art. spongebob. going on walks. journaling / art diary. reading. cozy nights in with friends. watching mukbangs, especially dessert ones. still water. mint chocolate. mike wazowski. learning / playing the piano. spring ( her favorite season because it's warm in the day and cold at night. she gets too hot quickly and gets too cold easily, it rules out summer and winter. the fall makes her feel lonely ).

FAMILY.   father ( estranged ), mother ( estranged ), grandmother ( extremely close )

✿　⸻   TAPE TWO : SHE BLOSSOMS ! 

when planning for a trip, she prefers to improvise — date, place, food; it all depends on the mood.

formerly an infp but is currently an enfp. though, she thinks that she is a combination of both.

so hee has two cats, a white one named hammer and a grey one named marsh-ie.

she is a sensitive sleeper and often has to spray an aroma that comforts her to sleep.

prefers to go out than stay in; she considers herself a busybody, even if it means doing things independently. the only time she likes to stay in is if she's been super busy. then, she prefers to stay home and watch things or read.

her art journey started with fashion design, later to details in art, before fine arts until she switched focus to becoming an actress.

she is not afraid to admit that she's a bad dancer, and would even prefer being a good dancer over being a good singer.

so hee isn’t one to approach people first, she would rather they come to her.

her habit when taking a photo is doing the 'toothache pose'.

✿　⸻   MIXTAPE : WE FLOURISHED ! 

below are all of so hee's connections within seouless. disclaimer : if you're unhappy with a description, please let me know. this will be kept up to date as time passes.

✶ seokjin of bts ⸻ ex

prior to him, so hee had been in a string of casual relationships, nothing that ever meant too much. she had been too focused on making ends meet to working her hardest for her dreams to come true for something so serious. things changed when meeting seokjin — her first true love and serious relationship. it was serious for her to the point where so hee felt that he really was the one. the two breaking up was out of love, for the sake of their happiness. it was a tragic, bittersweet ending to something that was once so beautiful. it inevitably changed how she guarded her heart and decisions she isn’t necessarily proud of.

they are on good terms and so hee no longer has a romantic attraction or interest in seokjin; just fondness and a constant wish for him to be happy.

✶ jungkook of bts ⸻ family / younger brother

with so much in common, it isn’t surprising to anyone around them on how well these two meshed and simply clicked together. jungkook is one of the very few people that so hee truly allows herself to be free around, more than usual. she barely keeps secrets from him, though, so hee would not be able to tell you if she has any secrets from him. jungkook is someone she feels safe with, that she can trust, and the feeling seems to be mutual. so hee would do anything to make sure he’s happy.

✶ taemin of shinee ⸻ love interest / crush

despite being deeply attracted to one another and the two of them knowing it, something always prevents it from happening. one thing is for sure : when things begin to get serious between the two, so hee, more often than not, tends to back away. perhaps so hee is too afraid to get into another relationship for fear of getting hurt again or maybe it's taemin's imprudent actions at times. reviving their friendship after losing contact, who's to say if so hee will finally let him in in the end?

✶ wooyoung of ateez ⸻ family / younger brother

everyone needs a support system, someone they can turn to when things are too much. and well, that’s who so hee is for wooyoung. no matter the time of day or night, all it takes is a simple message and she’s there. in trade, so hee has recognized him as a younger sibling — leaving him subject to her worrisome messages to make sure he’s doing okay and taking care of himself.

✶ johnny of nct ⸻ old flame / confidant

acquaintances that crossed over into friends with benefits at one time or another, with the condition of no strings attached. it was a time after johnny’s break up with joy — things never go to plan, especially not this. with him wanting to make things official, so hee ended things out of fear of just being nothing but a rebound. unbeknownst to her, this led to johnny having the reputation he’s given himself now. after losing contact, seeing each other once so much time has passed makes the past they once shared feel like ancient history. seems that the two of them have crossed paths at the right time.

✶ danielle of newjeans ⸻ new friends / younger sister

though their friendship is still fresh, so hee cares for danielle like she’s the younger sister she’s never had. so hee does her best to help navigate her through the new found journey of dizzying fame and the industry itself. in the end, so hee has a little habit of doting on danielle, too.

✶ casual friends ⸻ jinyoung of got7.

✿　⸻   pinterest. musing tag. visage tag. wanted connections.

[seokjinsonlyone]

Not My Type | 3

pairing: jungkook x female reader

summary: "She's a lot more than nice, so you need to be careful."

genre: friends to lovers

warnings: none; jimin here tho being flirty and stirring the pot <3333

rating: pg

wc: 1.7k

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

Jungkook’s newfound hobby was driving her crazy. One too many times had their little lunch rendezvous made its way into her mind in the past week. The way he sniffed her hair oddly enough was a recurring playback. She had a thing for weirdos and Jungkook could definitely be classified as that. And, that was exactly why she needed to shut this whole thing down.

Now, she considered herself a progressive individual. She didn’t mind change as long as it was for the better. She didn’t have a problem evolving her relationship with a friend. In fact, she preferred it. Always said that if she was gonna get into it, she wanted to be with a friend. But, this particular friendship wasn’t the one. It wouldn’t make sense. There was no way it could possibly be better.

They were like oil and water. They didn’t mix. Which was fine as a friendship, they could peacefully coexist. Anything more than that, however, would be an unnecessary burden. And, her life didn’t need to be anymore difficult than it already was. She wanted an easy love. It was this line of reasoning that carried her straight to her best friend’s house.

“You need to talk to your friend,” she announced, waltzing into Jimin’s home, throwing her purse on the couch before finding him sitting at the island eating cereal.

He looked up. “I’ve already told you should just ask Taemin out. He’ll most likely say yes. He thinks you’re hot. Stop trying to get me to create scenarios.”

“And, I’ve already told you I refuse to pursue a man. No matter how dreamy and evil he is,” she sighed.

In all honesty, she probably would’ve gone for it if it weren’t for the fact that she could tell he wasn’t really into her. Not in the way she would’ve liked for him to be into her. He flirted with her in person (and in her dms), held her in a way that made her stomach jump after a few drinks, but ultimately his goal was a few nights in the sheets. And, that just wasn’t her thing. She didn’t do casual. Didn’t like to invite people into her life that weren’t going to stay. So even though she thought they could be good together, she was deciding to let this one go. If he couldn’t see what was right in front of him that was on him.

“You’re gonna end up alone.”

“You must realize that I am my favorite person.” He rolled his eyes. “Anyway, I wasn’t talking about him. I was talking about Jungkook.”

“What he do?”

“He’s been acting weird ever since last week.”

“What happened last week?”

She sucked her teeth. “You know, when we were all here?”

He narrowed his eyes at her, pupils shifting from side to side, visibly racking his brain trying to recall what happened at his place last week. “Oh! Wednesday! I was so drunk, bro. What happened?”

“Ugh. You don’t remember asking me to rank all of y’all from most to least my type?” Typical Jimin. Cause trouble then dip.

“What’d you rank me?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“I ain’t doing this again.”

He dropped his legs from the footrest of the barstool, tugging her closer and wrapping an arm around her waist. “Mmm. You couldn’t handle me either way.”

She’s not gonna lie, her heart skipped a beat. But, that’s the only reason he did it in the first place. He knew it flustered her on some level. So, she decided to play along for once, bringing her hand up to toy with the hair that rested at the back of his neck. “Baby boy, I could make you cry,” she whispered seductively.

He made a face, then pushed her away turning his attention back to his cereal. “You’re gross.”

“You started it,” she accused, laughter bubbling up at his reaction. He was CEO of “Do as I say, not as I do.” Always in the mood to dish it out, but hardly able to take it in return.

“So, what’s going on? Why do I need to talk to him?”

“Because I told him he wasn’t my type, and now he’s trying to convince me that he is.”

He choked. “What?”

“He literally showed up at my work the other day and brought me lunch.”

“That was more so directed at you saying Jungkook isn’t your type.”

“He’s not.” He raised his eyebrows, smirking conspiratorially. “He isn’t,” she insisted.

“So, you didn’t used to drool over him when you two first met?”

“See why you gotta go and bring up the past.” She wouldn’t say that she had a full blown crush on him, she didn’t know him and therefore couldn’t actually like him, but for a minute she was down bad. She wasn’t expecting to meet him when she did. Jimin had wanted to hang out and asked for a ride. He was with Jungkook when she picked him up and she was effectively caught off guard. Before she even realized what she was doing, she was out of the car and shaking hands with him in greeting. The next few weeks were spent trying her hardest to be in his presence. She never said more than two words to the boy, but yeah she was down bad. Once her hormones subsided, though, they eventually developed a friendship. A friendship that needed to stay a friendship. “Besides, I never said he wasn’t hot. I’m saying our personalities don’t match up. It wouldn’t work.”

“You aren’t that different from each other.”

“Yeah, but we’re wrong in just the right ways. It wouldn’t work.” He was right in saying that weren’t all that dissimilar, but it was because of that that she was sure starting any kind of relationship with romantic intent would go up in flames. The two were like parallel lines. Never meant to cross. Adjacent, but never intersecting. As they should.

“It sounds to me like you’re just afraid of what could happen.”

“Hold on there partner. I didn’t come here to be lectured or psychoanalyzed. I don’t even think he likes me for real, but he’s heading down a slippery slope. I just want you to talk to him before he goes and starts something that’s gonna get his feelings hurt, alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see what I can do.” One thing about Jimin was that he was nosy. Had absolutely zero qualms about getting all up in other people’s business. Knowledge equals power is what he always told himself. So, if she hadn’t come to him voluntarily offering up this information, he would’ve picked up on it sooner or later, inserting himself in the middle of it all. As it stands, he’s been giving explicit permission to do some digging. All he has to do is wait for the opportunity to arise.

The opportunity came a few days later. Jungkook was sitting on his couch, phone in hand, completely zoned out when Jimin pounced.

“So... Y/N?”

Jungkook startled at the mention of her name. It wasn’t like he was just thinking about her. He definitely wasn’t about to text her. He hadn’t spent the past minutes in a daze typing, deleting, and retyping messages to send. Nope. “Huh?”

“Y/N? What’s going on with you and her?” Jimin asked again.

“What do you mean? Nothing’s going on,” he feigned innocence, voice raising an octave. Even though, for all intents and purposes, there really wasn’t anything going on.

He looked him up and down, raising an eyebrow. “That’s not what she said.”

“What did she say?” She talked about him?

“You tell me.” He smirked sitting down, crossing one leg over the other like some kind of therapist.

“I don’t know. We had lunch,” he mumbled.

“Why?”

“Because I thought she might be hungry.”

“And this has nothing to do with the fact that she said you’re not her type?”

He blew raspberries into the air. He couldn’t lie to Jimin even if he tried. The man always managed to see right through him. A consequence of nearly ten years of friendship. “I’m just trying to get to know her better,” he insisted.

“Why?”

“Because she’s nice.” Which wasn’t the complete truth, but if he admitted that he thought she had stars in her eyes he’d never hear the end of it.

“She’s a lot more than nice, so you need to be careful.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that she’s one of the best people I know, but she’s stubborn and once she has an idea in her head it’s very hard for her to let go.”

“So you think I should stop?”

“I think you shouldn’t go into this blind, is all I’m saying. Whatever you’re doing, probably won’t be easy. And, I don’t want you to get hurt. Or hurt her. What do you plan on doing if you manage to make her like you? If you’re not serious then I think you should stop.” Jimin patted his shoulder, then got up leaving him to his thoughts.

Jungkook heard what he was saying. He did. And, he was right. He hadn’t been thinking too hard about what he was doing. Honestly, he was just following the skip in his heartbeat and so far that led him to her. There was a very real possibility of him getting his feelings hurt. She was very strong willed. Couldn’t budge her mind with a bulldozer. So, if she was dead set on being against this, there wasn’t much he could do anyway.

Still, this wasn’t something he could let go of easily. He had no intentions of hurting her. It wasn’t just some conquest for him. That much he was sure of. He would hate to get closer to her, have her catch feelings for him, then dip because he wasn’t feeling it. But, he seriously doubted that would happen. It’s not like they were complete strangers. He was just seeing her in a new light now. And as much as he didn’t want anyone to get hurt, at this point he didn’t know if this was something he should even avoid. It didn’t seem like it.

Truthfully, he didn’t feel this way often. This pull he now felt toward her. He was usually much too caught up in trying to be the best version of himself he could be to entertain thoughts of others. However, right now she had his attention and he didn’t want to look away. He opened his text thread with her typing and finally sending a message before he could overthink it.

[10:53pm] jk: lunch tomorrow?

[newbornmoon]

i was tagged by @longlosttidalwave ! thank u for tagging me ilyy and also sorry i took so long omg

• name/nickname: camille! sometimes people call me cam

• gender: haha. whatever gym leaders in pokemon got going on (2020 hit me like a truck gender-wise but idk. guy. non binary. eh)

• star sign: Leo !

• height: wouldn't you like to know weatherboy…. im very short. like 160cm/5'3 short.

• birthday: August 5th !!

• favorite bands: favourite discographies atm are !! shinee, fx, gwsn, hyukoh, se so neon, loona, exo, Magdalena Bay, Chloe x Halle, TVXQ, Florence & the Machine, Jaurim, seventeen, day6. Also im going through Sade and Young Tender's discographes rn… amazing….

• fave solo artists : Rina Sawayama, Tinashe, Taemin, Jonghyun, Key, Sunmi, Mitski, Victoria Monét, Janelle Monáe, Mika, the list goes on…. also i know kate bush is a tory but her art... crazy (also mr ocean pls... spare music.. someday..)

• song stuck in my head: Wave by GOT7 <333 comfort song ! also breakdown song !

• last movie: The Personal History of David Copperfield (and it was great <33)

• last show: Extraordinary You with my girlfriend… romance…

• when i created this blog: 2014… kpop sideblog like early 2017….

• last thing i googled : miss congeniality (the 2000 movie absolutely)

• do i get asks: i do NOT !! we're vibing here

• following: 220

• why did i choose this url: i actually thought i had completely made up the world at 13/14 y/o but apparently it's a name as well as a WOW character so… interesting….

• what i’m wearing: oversized blue shirt and green sweatpants… a fashion icon

• dream trip: idk anywhere where there's sun and olive trees the north hates me

• favorite food: eggplant feta cake/loaf (idk how to translate)

• favorite song: this is the hardest question ever... my most listened to song in 2020 was the Chaser by Infinite according to spotify which.. as it should...my 5 songs in my 'forever favorites' playlist are moon by Jonghyun, smooth operator by Sade, 10-20-40 by Rina Sawayama, new born by Hyukoh, Pink in the Night by Mitski... also life's too short by Tinashe is <333

• top 3 universes i’d like to live in: a theory or system of social organization in which all property is owned by the community and each person contributes and receives according to their ability and needs + idk i like the dragon prince's worldbuilding so far so that ig… + captain tsubasa cause i still wish crampon shoes would make u jump that high

stressed abt tagging people as usual soooo ! if you see this and want to do it consider yourself tag truly <333 + irl bestie and mutuals go do it if u want to plssss

[fyexo]

191115 Meet SuperM, the Team of K-Pop Superstars That Became One Big Family

SuperM has arrived. It’s late afternoon in Los Angeles, and voices can be heard floating through the halls of Capitol Records in L.A., muffled and low. They’re just out of sight, but if the video teasers for the K-pop supergroup’s debut are to be believed, the seven members will turn the corner burning with a smoldering intensity, walking with the confidence of an elite squad of K-pop assassins trained to vaporize the competition with a single look. All have been hand-picked for this mission from some of K-pop’s most successful groups: Taemin from the legendary SHINee, Kai and Baekhyun from the record-breaking EXO, Mark and Taeyong from the massive 21-member group NCT, and Ten and Lucas from NCT’s Chinese subunit WayV. Together, they are an industry team of aces, pairing powerful performance with immense individual skill in dancing, singing, and rapping.

But as they find their seats around a massive marble conference table, they’re more like a bunch of brothers at summer camp. Kai, an often blush-inducing dancer, has pulled the arms of his sweater over his hands to create soft paws and is hiding behind them as he whispers to giggling rapper Lucas. Baekhyun, the group’s leader and stunning vocalist, scrunches his nose in frustration as he struggles to open a water bottle. One by one, each member relaxes into their chairs and widens the gap between their slick onstage personas and their sweeter offstage selves.

Taeyong looks softer than his icy rapper persona as he yawns and stretches, the blinding silver highlight on his cheeks catching the sun as he adjusts the waves of his purple hair. Ten, usually a brooding dancer, is disarmingly friendly. When a part of the conversation strikes him as funny, he looks around the room to find someone else who is laughing and wrinkles his nose at them as if to say, “Isn’t this all so silly?” Mark, the youngest, is usually the excitable little brother of NCT. But as SuperM’s strongest English speaker (he’s actually from Toronto, Canada, originally), he matures into a calm and collected translator and only ages down again when caught in a fit of laughter.

The member with the biggest gap between onstage and off is Taemin, the group’s most senior member in terms of experience, who was selected from one of K-pop’s foundational groups, SHINee, and boasts one of the most successful solo careers in the history of the industry. When performing, Taemin is wickedly villainous, sensual, and sophisticated. In a recent interview, Taeyong went so far as to describe Taemin’s stage presence as “a bit immoral.” But offstage, in this conference room, Taemin’s small frame is almost swallowed up by his chair. He likes to hold water in his cheeks so that they puff out like a fish, and his big, round eyes, which are usually narrowed for effect when he performs, stare blankly from beneath his shiny blonde bob. He is so quiet that he sometimes appears to not be paying attention at all, but then one of the other guys cracks a joke and his entire face lights up.

The group is in high spirits, coming off of an intense October weekend of stateside promotion that included their first official appearance as SuperM, the debut of the music video for their single, “Jopping,” the release of their eponymous debut mini album, and a performance for thousands outside of Capitol’s iconic headquarters in Hollywood. SuperM carries on the legacy of SM, one of K-pop’s oldest and most-revered entertainment agencies. “If you ask me, I’d say what the world now considers K-Pop began with SM Entertainment,” says Taemin, through an interpreter, as Ten nods in agreement. “SM was the very first company to take musical influences from Western culture and incorporate Korean culture into that by rearranging and writing lyrics with our style.” When Taemin finishes, he turns to Kai in embarrassment and says, “I’m too proud of SM, huh?” But Taemin is right; the company created what is considered to be the first modern K-pop idol group, H.O.T., in 1996, and has been a dominant player in the space ever since.

The guys don’t show it, but they are under an immense amount of pressure. SuperM was conceptualized and produced by the founder of SM, Soo Man Lee, and their staff notes that curiosities are piqued, even within the company itself. “I think people are interested in this new attempt because we are not newbies. Each of us are from groups that are already well-established,” says Baekhyun, the eldest. Kai agrees, “We feel obliged to live up to their expectations.” They don’t know it yet, but in a week they will have the no. 1 album in the United States.

Despite looming expectations, the guys seem more delighted by the new arrangement than worried. “I’ve been in SHINee for 10 years, so starting a new team almost felt like getting a different job,” says Taemin. “I was excited; it felt so fresh, like a new start. To be honest, I thought the project was going to get cancelled when I first heard about it, so SuperM has a special place in my heart.” Baekhyun finishes, “Each of us saw it as an opportunity, a new challenge, and that helped…” Taeyong chimes in, “It united us.” “That’s right,” nods Baekhyun, “Now, we feel like we’re a family.”

That bond was formed quickly, over a handful of summer months in 2019. Though they all trained and worked under SM, most members had only ever seen each other in passing, like students in different grades at a large school. Despite this, the synergy between them is almost telepathic. After Baekhyun fails to break the cap on his water bottle, he silently pushes it towards Taeyong, who opens it for him with a twist of his wrist and without a single word. Members often finish each others’ sentences and exchange knowing looks across the table. Whenever Taemin isn’t sure about the meaning of a word in English, he leans over to consult Ten. At one point, Taeyong looks at Mark with pride and reaches out instinctively to stroke the youngest’s ear. This must be fairly normal, because Mark barely reacts.

When they return to Korea after this trip, each member will rejoin their respective group or solo promotions until they come together again as SuperM in November to tour the U.S. and Canada. Kai discloses that Lucas is already exhibiting separation anxiety. “This morning Lucas said to me, ‘Hyung, I wanna move in with you! Can’t we move in together?’” Kai says, using the Korean word for “big brother.” Lucas lets out a wild, guttural giggle as Kai snitches again, “Even Baekhyun said in the car that he would miss us after we all got back from the States!”

For these short two weeks in Los Angeles, they’re living together and having what sounds like the time of their lives. They’ve all taken roles around the house. Baekhyun is known for recalibrating the group dynamic, cracking jokes to lighten the mood. “I’m the reaction, I react to them,” Taemin says cheerily. “Mark and Ten are English teachers,” says Baekhyun, “Taeyong is the cook and dishwasher…” “and alarm!” chimes Taemin. “Taemin is in charge of dieting,” says Kai. Taeyong points to Baekhyun, “And he disrupts dieting,” he says, as they all crack up, “he’s the Diet Destroyer.” Baekhyun shrugs. “We’re the tall ones,” says Kai, pointing to Lucas and himself. “I’m in charge of getting things that are far away,” says Lucas, with a laugh that is almost musical. “He’s the biggest baby,” says Ten, smiling lovingly from the corner. “There are cups and plates placed high on the cupboard...” says Taemin. “And Lucas takes them out for us,” finishes Taeyong.

Like most families, they watch Netflix together. “We like zombies, especially Kai hyung. He likes The Walking Dead,” says Ten. “And Black Mirror,” suggests Mark. Taemin looks up at Ten with doe eyes and says “Stranger Things!” in a small voice, which Ten repeats at a volume everyone can hear. They go swimming in the house’s pool, play mafia and video games, and share meals, Taemin’s favorite. “I love that we eat breakfast together every morning. We wouldn’t do that if we weren’t close. We feel comfortable with each other’s company, it feels natural.” They’ve had everything from Korean meals and Chinese food to pancakes but, usually, they eat cereal. That is, until the diet destroyer gets involved. “We started off with Froot Loops,” says Mark, “and then we searched through the refrigerator and saw strawberry yogurt. Baekhyun was like ‘Alright, we’ve got to put the Froot Loops in the yogurt!’”

Between the seven of them, they speak five languages: English, Korean, Chinese, Thai, and Japanese, so “sometimes communicating gets very confusing,” says Lucas, switching into Korean for the last word, to underscore his point. Still, “we understand each other very well,” assures Mark, “and I feel like that's the true role of K-pop: bringing cultures together.” Ten nods in agreement. He can speak four languages and has remained alert throughout the interview, like a guard dog, leaning in to translate Korean or Chinese to English. “What’s cool is that we’re from different places, so when we talk we get to learn new vocabulary,” Ten notes, as Taemin looks on with cheeks full of water. “Sometimes I even teach them Thai,” he says, beaming proudly. “That’s the best part.” On cue, Taeyong presses his palms together, bows his head, and says the Thai word for “hello.”

SuperM has been focused on breaking into the United States, so many of the members have been learning English from Mark and Ten. Taemin, who is already fluent in Korean and Japanese, says “pronunciation” has been the hardest part. A few days earlier in an Instagram live stream, he playfully pleaded with fans of SHINee, called Shawols, to help him learn the language. When asked about that, Taemin smiles, shrugs his shoulders up to his ears, straightens his arms and splays his hands wide in discomfort, like a scared cat. With perfect pronunciation he says, “I hope to speak English well but...” and then makes a gesture that communicates, “I hope to get better.” Taeyong nods and says in English, “Step-by-step,” while Kai lets out a supportive, “Wow!”

In September, Baekhyun also took to Instagram to announce that he and Lucas were delighted and perplexed by the sound of one word in particular: awkward. The mention of this sets off a domino effect during our interview, as each member tries pronouncing “awkward” themselves. Then Baekhyun introduces a new word: turtle. He points to his mouth, which he has opened comically wide to get the sound just right, “Toooortle!” “The word turtle is so awkward!” summarizes Taeyong. Then they can’t be stopped—their favorite terms are flying back and forth across the table: Pronunciation! Positive energy! Level! Frog! Pioneers! Taeyong slowly sounds out “performances” and then claps for himself when he’s done. Over in the corner, Baekhyun leans back in his chair and crosses his arms matter-of-factly. “Turtle!” he says with confidence, one last time, as Mark bursts out laughing and Taeyong slaps him playfully on the knee.

The room is so warm with joy, so free from ego and pretense, that it’s easy to forget that these seven friends are some of the world’s most celebrated performers. Despite their differences—in age, language, culture, and experience—they function as a single solid, supportive unit, united by one goal.

For almost the entire interview, Mark and Taemin have been playing with two thick silver rings overlaid with heavy crosses. At one point, Taemin experienced a brief panic when Mark’s ring got stuck on his finger. “We got these as a gift from Mr. Soo Man Lee,” Mark says seriously, holding his up in front of his face. Each member’s ring bears a slightly different design, but they all “have ‘Super M’ inscribed on the back.” The accessory feels overtly symbolic: a physical reminder of the heavy expectations that unite them. “This is our Thanos Infinity Gauntlet,” Mark jokes, referencing SuperM’s branding as the “Avengers of K-pop.” As he laughs with Taemin, his face softens and he looks like the group’s little brother again. Then they both pick up their rings and place them back on their fingers, joining the rest of their team.

Source: Elizabeth de Luna

[tarotforkpop]

TWICE🌙 - Relationships and their next comeback predictions

hi guys!

since I’ve been doing readings mostly for BTS, I’ve decided to switch things up a little and talk about one of my favorite girl groups, Twice.

in this reading we’ll take a closer look at the members’ dynamics and Jihyo x Kang Daniel and Momo x Heechul relationships! also what kind of concepts they like the most, and what can we expect from their next comeback! 

also, let me know which groups you’d like me to do full readings on in the future! 

the dynamic between the members:

there are three members who the other girls really look up to, and view them very highly - they appreciate their advice, listen to their opinions and can always rely on their mental support. those three members are the most mature and feel the responsibility for the others - they’re usually the ones giving their shoulders for others to cry on. this can sometimes make them feel drained, but they feel like it’s their duty. they care deeply about the other members and want to help them with their life choices and struggles. this dynamic doesn’t bother them, because it seems like it’s pretty healthy and they think it helped their group in the past and will help them in the future too. they’re just like the big sisters of the group.

i asked my cards about those three members zodiac signs and can I just say I love tarot so much?? it immediately showed me The Star, which is a card of Aquarius, the sign of Twice’s Leader, Jihyo. the other cards symbolized Earth and Fire signs. based on this the “moms” of the group are Jihyo, Nayeon or Sana, and Mina. 

the other thing that showed up reminded me of Mina. her card that popped up before (the Fire Sign card) was next to The Devil, and The High Priestess, both reversed. this is really interesting, since both of these cards reversed can mean detachment, going silent for a longer time and exploring your own mind to find to take care of yourself and find what’s hidden there. this process is taking a longer while for Mina, because she wants to do it right and take her time with healing herself. other cards I pulled here also highlight that she distanced herself from the spotlight to go deep within her heart and figure this all out. I think she even thought about leaving the group for a while, but she kept this secret and didn’t want to tell others. as of right now, I don’t think she considers this an option anymore.

it’s really good, because if she keeps this up, she’ll overcome her struggles. she’s determined to do so, and already is going into the better future now. she’s optimistic and I can see she has a lot of support from people she cares about. I’m very glad she’s doing better!

Momo and Heechul?

okay, so they were pretty nervous about changing the dynamic from being friends to being a couple. after that, they were afraid of what people might think, but at the same time, keeping this a secret was causing them a lot of anxiety. right now they’re kind of relieved it’s out in the open. I think Heechul was the one to make his first move, because he might have been getting competition for Momo’s heart and he had to act lol.

to be honest, I’m getting a lot of messages here that someone was not really happy about them getting together. maybe it’s the competition Heechul had? this person definitely said something they didn’t mean and distanced themselves. for some time, they didn’t know what to do about all of this and were confused, but I think they moved on from this now, or at least they’re trying to.

Jihyo and Daniel?

okay guys, there’s a lot going on. i want to respect their privacy, so if you think I overstepped my boundaries here please let me know, and I’ll make changes here.

i think they might have some problems right now, but they’re very determined to make it work: they think they’re each other soulmates and want to fight for their relationship. i think Jihyo’s the one fighting the hardest, and she has this fire inside of her to overcome any struggle she faces. i feel like the problems stem from the fact that Daniel doesn’t think he deserves her :( he feels like she’s too amazing for him, but Jihyo wants to show him how great he is and that all of this is in his head only. it will take some time for them, but they will make it work. if they don’t give up, they might even settle down with each other in the future. 

the next comeback and what concept do they like the most?

okay I think they like the sexy concepts the most, like when they did a cover of Move by Taemin. i think majority of the members feels they pull them of really well.

as for their next comeback, oof wait- I think they’re going to do a... darker concept?? there will be a mysterious vibe, different from their other projects. I think there might be themes about secret love, or holding onto someone you have no future with. but at the same time, themes about being confident and realizing how to be happy with oneself. oof, we’ll see if I’m right, but it sounds really good.

okay, that’s all! Let me know what you guys think! x

[rkariel]

❝ SANTA BABY  —   12월 21일       ✦

          a week is not enough time to prepare a gift. at least, it certainly doesn’t feel like enough time even without the end of the year shows. she doesn’t know much about ella, about seolhyun, past what she knows of luxe and from the few times they’d spoken before royal survival. was it really that long ago? was royal survival really that long ago? truthfully, she doesn’t know how time just flew by. in some ways, it feels like a lifetime ago yet there’s also days ariel remembers the anger and sadness radiating off hyeri when she talked of the consideration of going on the show. it’s odd how things end up. 

          with a mental note to talk to taemin about that soon, about the what-if’s the two of them know of, she goes back and forth on what to buy, how to determine what to buy, wondering to what extent she can stalk seolhyun’s instagram before it gets too creepy. in her own experience, it’s hard to buy a gift without feeling generic or typical. ariel takes gift-giving more seriously than she ought to, especially for christmas as one of her favorite holidays. 

          if asked, she’d say christmas is her favorite because of the spirit of it all, because she loves choosing gifts that are personal to a person, because she thinks it’s another day to show love other than a birthday and a person can’t fight it as much. who says no to a christmas gift? joking aside, she likes seeing someone’s reaction when it’s personal, when it’s perfect or something they like but never would’ve thought of themselves. doesn’t it make you happier than receiving a gift yourself?

          the post that inspires her choice is fairly old but the name luxe serves as inspiration too and, in some ways which include even the company, seolhyun reminds her a little of jinah. a gift that would suit someone as beautiful and glamorous as jinah would suit ella of luxe too, right? 

          even with the type of item chosen, narrowing down the options proves to be the next hardest part and so she goes back and forth with her sister, glad that she can always trust cassie to help when it comes to shopping. she has no clue why her sister isn’t a personal shopper by now, especially the more she asks ariel to consider giving her one of their favorites from america and she can’t stop feeling flustered at the thought. maybe in private ariel wouldn’t have any qualms about giving ella sets or even lotion and perfumes from victorias secret but for a cast gathering? it feels out of place. besides, ariel has to admit she loves keeping those for herself, too accustomed to her sister sending them to her practically every season. it’s a random little piece of home in california, even if victoria’s secret isn’t only in california. 

          when the day comes, ariel comes with gifts in hand and cupcakes in tow. not the healthiest choice but they’re mini cupcakes adorned with snowflakes from hyemin’s cafe and she insists that they’re okay to anyone who asks because they’re mini, isn’t that a lesser of two evils if she brought along full-size cupcakes instead? besides, it’s to keep their energy levels up during the script reading and to keep the holiday cheer going. when it comes time to the gift exchange, ariel hopes she hasn’t overstepped by mentioning seolhyun’s upcoming birthday. the note attached reads, in bubbly writing, with a mix of just a little english and korean: 

under my umbr-ella ella ella ay ~ 

          i hope you like the gifts! it’s my christmas wish that we’ll get to know each other and become friends while on set. i hope we won’t take as long as bona and eunsang to become closer. these necklaces made me think of you, the ever trendy and gorgeous kim seolhyun of luxe ~ i know they’ll look amazing on you! let me know if you would prefer a different style or metal or length! i had to guess what’ll work best for you. as for the other necklace that’s not part of the set, surprise! i wanted to include it because i saw your birthday is coming up soon and the e charm reminded me of your signature. it’s so pretty, give me tips ㅋㅋㅋ merry christmas and happy holidays!!! if you ever want to reach me, here’s my info   —

[thewatermelonwrites]

Café Hwarang, Part 1: Welcome to the Team

Title: Café Hwarang

Pairing: Jongtae and side Onminkey

Rating: T for language (different installments will have different ratings)

Summary: BL cafes are a thing and I let my imagination go wild.

Taemin took a deep breath as he stood in front of the wooden door, lined with advertisements from companies whose names were so faded they were impossible to read. His heart pounded in his ribcage, so powerful he could feel his pulse in his fingertips, pressed into the palm of his hand. He lifted his hand, prepared to knock, before dropping it to his side, and then raising it again.

Three soft taps of his knuckles signaled his presence. The hardest part was over. Hopefully.

He rolled on the balls of his feet, twisted them around, looking this way and that. His cheeks filled with air and he shoved his hands in his jacket pockets, letting out the breath and watching the fog blow from his mouth. No answer yet. Had they not heard him? Would he have to somehow muster the courage a second time?

Just when his heartbeat was starting to speed up from anxiety again, the small door opened, revealing a short, tan man with dark brown hair. “Sorry, we’re actually closed right now.” He said, melodic voice betraying his somewhat rough appearance, probably flustered from working all day.

Not that Taemin minded, because holy shit was this guy handsome. The white dress shirt obviously one size too small, straining against his muscles, his sharp jawline, his plump lips set in a firm line, his round eyes starting to narrow as he looked at him.

Oh. He was taking too long to reply. He just made things awkward, didn’t he. “I’m Taemin.” He said, blush creeping up his neck.

The other man titled his head, making Taemin worry and blush that much more, because what if he was at the wrong place, or what if his email never sent, or what if - “Oh right, Taemin!” The stranger’s face lit up with recognition, beckoning Taemin inside as he held the door open for him. Taemin breathed a sigh of relief, crushing weight lifting off his chest. They entered the room together, Taemin only now noticing the sounds of running water and metal banging together a few feet away.

“Hey hyung!” The man called in the direction of the commotion, where a homey kitchen area hid behind a long counter. “Taemin’s here for his interview!”

“Just a sec!” A voice replied, almost drowned out by clamor.

“Jinki will be here in a minute.” The stranger told Taemin as if he hadn’t just heard their conversation. He just nodded instead, hiding his chin underneath his wool scarf despite the room being relatively warm.

The two waited in the middle of the room, both pretending they didn’t catch the other staring at them every so often, both wanting to say something to break the tense atmosphere but neither knowing how. Just when the man was about to open his mouth, he was interrupted by the same voice as before, now with the addition of the person belonging to it. “Thanks, Jonghyun, I’ll take it from here.” He said as he rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, walking towards the two. The one Taemin now knew as Jonghyun clapped his hands on his thighs before making his way towards the kitchen, a little too fast to be considered casual. Taemin didn’t even realize he was staring at him until Jinki’s voice grabbed his attention again. “Here, let’s have a seat.”

Jinki pulled out a chair from the nearest table and gestured for Taemin to sit down, barely hearing Taemin’s quiet “thank you” from behind his scarf as he crossed over to his own seat. He placed his hands on the table in front of him and Taemin kept his in his pockets.

“So, uh...how has your day been?” Jinki asked, catching Taemin off guard. He wasn’t sure what kind of opening line he was expecting but it certainly wasn’t that.

“Good.” Taemin replied automatically, mouth still hidden behind his scarf, sinking deeper inside it every time there was a particularly loud bang from the kitchen.

“Um, so, you’re, uh, here for an interview, yeah?” Jinki’s face spread into a wide smile, apparently oblivious to his clumsy way of speaking.

Taemin blinked at him, face blank. “That’s right.”

“You…” Jinki paused to push his glasses up his nose, skin slightly sweaty, probably from the work he had been doing beforehand. “You know what kind of cafe this is, right?” His eyes were serious, but despite his sincerity, Taemin couldn’t follow.

“It’s...a BL cafe...isn’t it?” He answered with another question, each word slow and chosen with caution, terrified that he was missing something big and making a fool out of himself.

“Well yeah, but…” He let out a puff of air, splaying his fingers out on the table. “You know what it is we do here, right? You know this isn’t a regular cafe?”

“Um…” Taemin’s gaze wandered to the side, where a bookcase full of manhwa’s were displayed, neatly organized by series. He noticed the expensive looking couch, easily big enough to let two people lie side by side on it, maybe more. He also saw the kitchen where the three staff members were working, two of them standing unusually close to each other as they washed dishes together, and Jonghyun quickly turning his head and rushing in the opposite direction of Taemin. “People...come here...to...make us do things?” Taemin offered, shrugging his shoulders at the weak explanation.

“To act out scenes where we’re romantically involved with one another.” Jinki clarified with a soft smile. “You should probably get used to saying stuff like that if you want to work here.”

Was it hot in here or was it just Taemin’s entire body? “Y-yeah, sorry…” He stuttered, burying at least half of his face in his scarf by now.

“Hyung, stop scaring the new kid away.” A new voice joined in, one of the other employees that was working in the kitchen. Taemin looked up to behold quite possibly the most beautiful person he’d ever seen in his life. Glass-like skin, pronounced cheekbones, sharp eyes that somehow still felt gentle when they regarded Taemin.

“I wasn’t scaring him!” Jinki stammered back in self-defense, two hands on his chest. “Right, Taemin? I’m not scary, am I?” He asked, lower lip slightly protruding, and Taemin wasn’t sure if that was a serious question he was supposed to answer or what.

But in any case, the answer was “No, it’s just me. He didn’t do anything wrong.”

The new man tsked and turned to Jinki, placing one hand on the back of Jinki’s chair as he spoke. “You even convinced him it was his fault.”

No no no no no, Taemin tore his hands out of his pockets to shake them, chin rising out of his scarf, eyes going wide. “No, really! He’s been really nice, I didn’t mean to come across that way, I’m - ”

“So you do have a face!” The stranger laughed, clear and cutting, prompting Jinki to chuckle along with him. “I’m sorry for teasing you like that, but it is important that we know what you look like before we hire you.”

That didn’t quite sink in yet before the man was already observing Taemin, studying his face, making Taemin feel like he was being interrogated by a police officer. Not that that’s ever happened to him. He sucked on his lips, looking anywhere but the man’s face. God his skin was perfect, what the f -

“You need to hire him, hyung.” Was all he said, and he finally met Jinki’s eyes instead of Taemin’s face. “He’s really cute.”

If it were possible for steam rise off people’s bodies from how hot they were, Taemin would be a personal heater right now. Everywhere from the tips of of his ears to the bottom of his feet were a lovely shade of crimson, his heartbeat so loud it drowned out all his thoughts. “Thanks…” He managed, voice cracking in the middle.

“You’re even worse than Jinki, Kibum.” Another new voice entered the scene, this time along with the only employee Taemin hadn’t met as well as Jonghyun. The new person was way taller than Jonghyun, but had the same beautiful skin tone, albeit a little darker, and a mop of black hair that had two round ears sticking out of it. “You’re going to scare the kid off.”

“Okay, first off,” Kibum started, counting his points on one of his large hands, “he already looked like someone was trying to steal his lunch money long before I got here. Second of all, I only spoke the truth, and - ”

“Guys, seriously, stop talking for two seconds and let me do what I need to do.” Jinki’s voice was level but not stern, and the other three immediately went silent, waiting for him to continue. “Taemin, Kibum was right, physical attractiveness plays a key role in our hiring process and, well, you have enough of that to spare.”

Right now Taemin wished he looked like a slime monster so he could melt into the floor instead of having four pairs of eyes on him. “Thank...you…? Again?” He choked out, refusing to look anywhere but at the wood of the table he suddenly found exhilarating. It made sense though, considering the nature of the job, and the fact that everyone who worked here was impossibly gorgeous. Taemin hoped he’d fit in like they said.

“Uh, no offence, Taemin…” Jinki continued, drawn out silence coaxing Taemin into lifting his head to look at him. “But are you sure you’ll be able to handle participating in our scenes? You seem a little...shy.”

Taemin’s face fell. “Was it that obvious?”

“Hey, don’t boo him off stage before he’s had a chance to perform!” Kibum interjected. “At least let him try one out before making a decision.”

“Oh...yeah, that makes sense.” Jinki’s mouth hung open, mind seemingly working about a centimeter a minute. “Taemin, would you be okay with that?”

Well he definitely didn’t come here expecting to perform surgery when he looked the cafe up. He knew what he signed up for. He could handle this. Probably. “Yes, that’s fine.”

“I’ll do the scene with him!” Jonghyun announced not even one second after Taemin finished his sentence, hand shooting up in the air like he was in grade school, ready to be called on. Taemin wasn’t sure what to make of such a strong reaction and just stared in bewilderment.

“Yeah sure, go ahead.” Jinki replied, waving his hand nonchalantly at him. Jonghyun closed his hand into a fist and pumped it, probably thinking no one could hear him whispering “yesssssss”.

Seemingly ignoring Jonghyun and switching his attention back to Taemin, Jinki explained, “We usually have a rough idea we follow for any given scene, but for now just follow Jonghyun’s lead and do a bit of improv, okay?” He flashed a smile at Taemin, not showing any teeth but genuine all the same.

“Okay.” Taemin said in a soft voice, not feeling terribly confident in his acting abilities. But Jonghyun seemed like a nice guy, and certainly enthusiastic, so he trusted he would help him. He stood up from his chair and already Jonghyun was all over him, carefully unraveling his scarf, saying “This might just get in the way, it’s better to get rid of them now.”

It made sense, so Taemin unbuttoned his long coat as Jonghyun worked on his scarf, grateful for the help. A pair of snorts distracted him from undoing the last button, tearing his attention towards Kibum and his friend, leaning on each other as they grinned at Jonghyun.

“What’s so funny?” Jonghyun asked, glaring at the two and holding Taemin’s scarf in his hand.

“You’re so oblivious, hyung.” Kibum said, followed by a couple snickers behind his fist. “Do you even realize how obvious you’re being?”

“What’s obvious?” Taemin asked with a tilt of his head, not following this conversation at all.

“What, I can’t do this but I have to watch you three making goo-goo eyes at each other constantly?” Jonghyun gestured between him and Taemin when he said “this” and Taemin just really wanted to know what he wasn’t picking up on since apparently it involved him.

For the first time, Jinki was the one flushing pink. “I don’t make goo-goo eyes at them. I’m very professional at work.”

“Just this morning you gave Kibum a back hug and watched him wash his hands with your head on his shoulder.” Jonghyun accused, furrowing his eyebrows at Jinki. “I could even hear you humming as you rocked side to side with him.”

Jinki went even darker and Kibum just laughed some more. “You saw that?” Jinki asked, sounding genuinely embarrassed. Taemin felt a little bad for the guy.

“And the day before that you kissed Minho before going to clean a table, and before that you - ”

“Okay, I get it.” Jinki interrupted, ears bright red and lips set in a firm line. “Can you please just do what you need to do?”

Jonghyun looked at the scarf in his hand to Taemin’s jacket already hung on the back of his chair to Taemin, staring at him with a million questions swimming in his eyes. “Shit, right.” He hissed, placing the scarf on top of the jacket and taking Taemin’s wrist in his hand, leading him towards the corner where the couch was.

“This is probably our most requested scene.” He explained once they stopped in front of the couch, other three leisurely making their way to the same area to observe. “You’ll be lying there reading one of our manhwa’s, and I’ll come up and tease you about it. Sound good? I promise I won’t say anything mean.”

Taemin pictured the scene in his head, thinking it seemed rather tame in comparison to what he was expecting after looking the store up online. “That’s fine.”

The smile Jonghyun made completely took over his face like he couldn’t control it. “Great! Just get comfortable and I’ll grab a book for you.” Taemin nodded in reply and sank down on the cushion, making a face at how surprisingly stiff it was. He supposes sometimes things that are expensive are worse quality than cheap stuff. Goddammit, rich people.

Jonghyun rushed back not five seconds later and handed the book to Taemin, who thanked him and laid down on his back, opening to a random page only to be greeted with an entire penis. His eyes bulged out and he blushed a deep pink before hastily turning the pages towards the beginning of the book. His reaction must’ve made what he saw obvious because Minho was laughing at him, surprisingly high considering his low speaking voice while the other two tried and failed to keep a straight face.

He barely read through the first page before the manhwa was ripped out of his hands, half a mind to tell whoever had done that off before remembering it was just Jonghyun and part of a scene. Jonghyun was standing next to him, one hand in his pants pocket, friendly demeanor changed to something Taemin couldn’t quite place. “You read this kind of stuff?” He said, mocking edge to his voice. There was no way this was the same person he was talking to moments before.

“U-um…” Taemin stammered as he wracked his brain for a response. “I-I was holding onto it for a friend and got bored, it was the only thing I had on hand…” His voice trailed off at the end when Jonghyun turned to him, staring at him from the corner of his eyes, mouth tilting in the corner and raising one eyebrow. When Taemin gulped, his throat felt like sandpaper.

“Is that so?” Jonghyun said, lilt in his voice. He set the book on a nearby table and leaned over Taemin, placing a hand above him on the couch. “That’s too bad. I would’ve hoped you were into that.”

Taemin was sure he must look like a fish with how wide his eyes were and how his mouth kept opening and closing, brain too hazy to string words into sentences. “I...um…”

“Unless you were lying to hyung, huh?” Now Jonghyun was lifting his legs over Taemin’s, and he was on top of him, and he was so close and - “That’s a little naughty, Taemin. Are you naughty?”

Shit, okay, the things that did to Taemin weren’t even funny. His legs shook and dropped flat on the cushions, his hands balled into fists, his lips caught between his teeth so he wouldn’t accidentally make a sound. “I’m...I’m not…” His mouth went dry when he tried to get that last word out, he really, really couldn’t do it.

Right when he took an inhale to say something, anything, like he was expected to, Jonghyun grabbed his face, fingers stroking under his chin, thumb rubbing his bottom lip and forcing him to look at him. If he hadn’t known better, he’d say that this Jonghyun and the one he met earlier were twins and he was currently stuck with the evil one. His once warm eyes were narrowed and tracing his every facial feature, the mouth that was once seemingly stuck in a permanent smile now frowning slightly, as if Taemin were a bug and Jonghyun was done showing mercy. “Have you ever been kissed, Taemin?” He asked, and something in his voice, be it how rough it suddenly became or how his words were lined with belittlement, made Taemin do a full body shiver, praying to god Jonghyun hadn’t noticed.

“N-no…” Taemin breathed, forgetting he was supposed to be acting and accidentally answering truthfully without a second thought.

A toothy grin spread across Jonghyun’s face, not at all like the one Taemin was used to seeing. This one didn’t reach his eyes. “Would you like to?”

“W-would...would I…” Taemin repeated, fighting to keep his eyes open and register those words in his brain. Would he like to…

When Jonghyun started leaning in, it finally clicked. Kissing. Jonghyun was going to kiss him. His first kiss was going to Jonghyun and he was okay with that. Why was he okay with that? He braced himself when Jonghyun was so close, too close, and he squeezed his eyes shut, holding his breath and anticipating the feeling of lips on his. Oh god, this was actually happening.

Except...that didn’t feel like lips. He’d never had lips on his before but it definitely wasn’t supposed to feel like that, and he was pretty sure about this. But Jonghyun was obviously close enough for them to be kissing, and his skin set on fire when he opened his eyes to make sure and found Jonghyun’s face not even a centimeter away from his. So what was on his lips if not Jonghyun’s?

He took note of the pressure on his mouth and only once he took a moment to think about it did he remember Jonghyun’s fingers under his chin. If his hand was there, then that meant…

His thumb. It’s Jonghyun’s thumb. This is a stage kiss and Taemin is an idiot.

Jonghyun eventually pulled away from the kiss that wasn’t really a kiss after five seconds that felt more like five hours. He lay frozen on the couch while Jonghyun climbed off, hearing applause to his left from the other employees, because this was just an act but Taemin couldn’t move his legs.

“Great job, Taemin, you played the role of submissive dongsaeng perfectly!” Minho praised, and somehow Taemin was able to move just enough to face him.

“You would know.” Jonghyun retorted, earning him a playful slap from Kibum. And there was the old Jonghyun, with the real smile and genuine laughter and the crinkles around his eyes, standing slightly slouched and instead of towering above him.

Taemin would be lying if he said he didn’t like the other Jonghyun, too.

“I still have to look over your credentials, Taemin, but assuming those are fine, you’ll be working here by next week.” Jinki said, patting Taemin on the shoulder, completely oblivious to the chaos currently scrambling through his brain, where words melded together and actions were hopeless.

But a job. A job is good. That’s what he came here for. Yes.

He didn’t feel anything about being hired until he was finally able to really look at Jonghyun, watch as he played around and laughed with the others, not sure what they were talking about and it wasn’t any of his business anyways. A job here meant he’d get to see Jonghyun every week. A job here meant he’d be working side by side with him and getting to know him and spend time with him. His face finally broke into a real smile. This might be okay, after all.

Later that evening, as Taemin was walking to the bus stop, mind wandering, hands in his coat pockets, he felt a thin piece of paper brush his fingers. His eyebrows set and he pulled it out, holding it in front of his face, realizing too late that the snow was falling onto it and getting it damp. It didn’t matter though, because Taemin was already tapping the information into his phone, face breaking out into a smile.

Call me - Jonghyun ♥

[somaybeimbiased]

SHINee 5 - Wolf Pack AU

Can you make werewolf SHINee with ranks and also 2min -Anon

AU where everyone is Alpha/Beta/Omega but everything else is similar.

Kpop groups are known as packs and they can be small or large. Normally an Alpha is placed as the leader with a Beta as the second. Many Omega Idols (as rare as they are) are given pills to suppress their heat so they can continue a performance or schedule as usual.

SHINee is known in the idol world as the free-spirited group, known for their outspokenness against gender roles and order. They live outside the city in a personalized dorm, and they are known to really embrace the wolf side of themselves.

Onew- Pack Alpha and Leader

Bloomed early if you must know

Dubulge

Everyone knew he was an alpha since he was like 12

When he joined SM they quickly began preparing him to be the pack Alpha

Tries his best, really.

The most level-headed Alpha you will ever meet

Most people mistake him for a Beta because of how calm and simple he can be.

The rest of OT5 had no clue how aggressive and angry he could get until he almost beat up a mean group of Beta’s that were bullying Taemin at school when they first debuted.

Minho and Key had to hold him back.

Taemin didn’t know if he was more afraid of the bullying or of Jinki when he found out what was going on.

They all walked Taemin to school from then on.

WILL fight anyone who threatens his pack.

Also such a supportive bean

Always placing his members before himself.

Also hasn’t found a mate even with his age

A lil upset

But he has his pack, and that’s all that really matter to him; his family.

Sometimes he jokes that he is really just secretly mated to all of them, in an emotional sense.

Jonghyun- Second Beta

Lowkey everyone expected him to be an Omega with how sensitive he was as a kid.

But then he never showed signs of being an Alpha or Omega and he was like ‘yeah, okay’

SM knew his personality would counter well with Jinki’s and matched him as the second in command.

Other than when Jinki had his throat problems and was out of the idol game for a while he hasn’t really had to take over as pack leader.

95% sure that it would result in head-butting from Key and Minho if he had to take over for any longer than he did.

Mated to Key

A little unconventional, and they can’t ever have kids, but like, they are together and Key is a faithful bean.

Jjong just gets a little worried whenever Taemin’s heat comes because Key wants to take care of him even though he is an alpha and one time during Taemin’s second heat Key lowkey pounced on the maknae but they stopped him for touching Taem and they stopped Minho from killing Key

Very content with the pack dynamic at this point

Even if other packs dislike them

“Three Alpha’s are too many for a five-person group”

Please. The amount of Alphas have nothing to do with how popular they are.

Their lead vocalist and lead dancer aren’t Alphas and also, he and Taem have just as many fans as their Alphas so

Very much against all the bad stereotyping against Betas and Omega

Key- Alpha

Wasn’t surprised he was an Alpha

WaY to independent

He isn’t  aggressive and doesn’t try to control others, but he does think his way is the best way, and he will prove it to others,

Everyone thought that he was the Omega of the group before they went public on their secondary genders 5 years after their debut

It was mainly to protect Taemin

Treats Taemin like his own pup most of the time, because he knows that Taemin might be the closest he ever has to a pup, at least for now.

Panicked after he went into a rut of Taemin tho

Wouldn’t talk to anyone for two weeks

It wasn’t his fault that Taemin was irregular and they were practicing a duo stage at that time

Loves Jjong with his whole heart tho, like 100000%

Would easily die for his petit bean

A little upset that Jjong wasn’t an Omega bc they would have beautiful children.

Been considering asking about getting an Omega surrogate. They could go to Taemin, or even Jjongs sister is they wanted to keep surrogate very close to them.

Super chill and laid back tho; the coolest Alpha you’ll ever meet

Minho- Alpha

Intended to be a pack leader when he first joined and learned the ropes.

So he was a lil mad that he wasn’t the leader or even the second oldest.

At least he wasn’t the youngest.

He is pretty aggressive and territorial

But also he is the sweetest

Like he is nurturing and protective.

Especially of Taemin.

He knew Taemin was his mate since the first time they met when their Maknae was announced to him.

He saw Taemin and boom

100% in love.

Taemin hadn’t come of age yet though, but Minho was hoping he would be an Omega. They knew he was either that or a beta and like, he really loves kids and wants to have his own eventually, and Taemin would be the perfect mom for his pups and-

He was suppppper happy when they finally found out Taemin’s secondary gender. He was late by like 2 years, but better late than never.

The first couple heats were bad for Minho too

Especially when Key did an oopsie.

Actually wanted to fight him?

Once Taemin started showing more interest in Minho ….

Minho pounced

Protects Taemin before anyone else, but will protect the others if he needs feels the need to

Taemin- Omega Maknae

A  late bloomer by like 2 years.

Was v stressed because of this.

Found out he was Omega and tbh he was a little surprised. He’d failed that doll test his parents tried on him when he was 7.

Lost the doll within two hours.

But he loses everything so ?

Lowkey always had a crush on Minho

But didn’t want to overstep his boundaries.

But then one time he lost his suppressants and they were in Japan for the dome tours and he messed up his schedule and went into heat and at the time he was sharing a room with Minho and it was in the middle of the night.

They had to cancel one of the concerts because of this 

Hates being an Omega a little bit

He hates going into heat. Like He took up the big closet in the dorm and filled with a ton of fan gifts and blankets and pillows and soft things and he hides in there during his heat and when he gets upset or stressed. He also ended stealing half of Minho’s clothes and stuff to keep in there.

There is a social part of it too.

Always underestimated. Like when he was the first to go solo there was a lot of uproars because the Omega of the group should’nt have gone solo first.

It only got worse on him when Jonghyun went solo too, they were both under a lot of fire.

Really just focuses on trying his hardest.

A/N I hope this is good. ^^ I’m still new to writing omegaverse stuff so idk.

There is a huge storm where I am rn, and we are snowed inside, so I’ll be filling requests or at least working on them unless power goes out.

Find more of my work on my Masterlist

[cinnaminsvga]

Memento Mori | Jimin

→ summary: At 7:49PM, Park Jimin is supposed to die. In his last 24 hours, it is your job as a grim reaper to make it his last good day by impersonating a lost loved one and giving him closure. Against all odds, your visit only makes it harder for him to pass on. 

→ genre: angst, grim reaper!reader

→ warnings: character death, mentions of suicide/depression/self-loathing

→ pairing(s): Jimin x Reader; Jimin x Hoseok

→ words: 4K

→ a/n: semi-based on HYYH series plot line, but I took A LOT of artistic liberties. you’ll see the similarities thought, just thought you should know. this is basically a series chronicling grim reaper!reader’s three most heartbreaking missions. 

→ masterlist // mission 99 // mission 100 // mission 2

Mission #99

Client: Park Jimin

Age: 18 years old

Death Date: October 8, 20XX.

Death Time: 7:49PM

Chance of Death: 95% success rate; medium chance of fluctuation

Cause of Death: Suicide by drowning

Grim Reaper in charge: L/N Y/N

Host: Jung Hoseok; Park Jimin’s close friend

––♡♡♡––

“Hoseok-hyung? You’re back?”

A boy with messy bleached blonde hair and tired brown eyes stares at you incredulously, as if he has just seen a ghost. Technically, he isn’t wrong.

“Hey Jimin, missed me?” You tease, your voice sounding giggly and optimistic, just like how he might have sounded like when the two boys last met. You still aren’t used to this new appearance, but you try your best to imitate Hoseok’s ticks and habits as closely as possible.

You expect Jimin to flounder about, unbelieving of seeing the dead suddenly among the living once again. You ready yourself with an explanation, a way to explain how a dead man could be standing in front of a dingy Busan high school as if his two-week disappearance had all just been a dream.

You find no questions escaping Jimin’s lips; instead, he drops his school bag with a resounding thud as you are suddenly withstanding the force of a scrawny 18-year old boy catapulting himself onto you with a vice-like hug.

“Woah there, kid!” You laugh, patting his fluffy hair endearingly. “I’m not as strong as I look, you know?” You try prying Jimin off your body to take a look at his face, but you find that Jimin wasn’t budging. As you feel his body start to shudder, you take that as a telltale sign that Jimin is probably crying in relief.

But when Jimin finally removes himself from you, his eyes are dry.

He smiles as bright as the sun, discreetly trying to sniffle away any signs of tears. His eyes crinkle cheerily, as if the sad kid who had walked out of the school building just a minute ago never existed.

This is the Jimin that existed before Hoseok had disappeared.

“I’m… sorry. It’s just… It’s good to see you, hyung.” He whispers it like it’s a secret.

You try to smile just as brightly. You aren’t sure if it works, but Jimin doesn’t comment.

“It’s good to see you too, Jimin. Now, let’s get you home, shall we?”

Any sort of awkwardness or tension slowly melts away as the two of you start walking back to Jimin’s house. You choose to follow him from behind, as you weren’t quite as sure of where the two of you were supposed to go (you’re sure Hoseok probably knew exactly where Jimin’s house is, but you failed to memorize the map before coming to his high school.) Jimin doesn’t seem to mind, however, as he continues to talk animatedly about his day, all while walking backwards with a grin on his face.

“And so, Taemin shoots the spitball at Kyungsoo’s head when he wasn’t looking! Oh man, it was utter chaos! I was sure Seulgi was going to call the princi—“

“Aish, Jimin!” You suddenly call out, pulling him out of the way as he almost rams himself against a not very kindly looking man. The older man only huffs in annoyance before promptly grumbling away. As you send Jimin a teasingly angry look, he at least has the decency to look sheepish.

“Whoops, I guess walking backwards is harder than it looks, huh?” He giggles melodically, and you try your hardest to ignore the guilt rising up from your stomach.

He’s definitely going to be one of the more difficult ones to let go of.

“You don’t need to walk backwards, you idiot. Here,” you say, grabbing Jimin’s hand in your own. You don’t fail to notice the pale blush spreading on Jimin’s face, but you don’t acknowledge it either. It’ll only make things harder if you did.

“See? If we hold hands, at least I can stop your stupid ass from bumping into every person on the street.” You joke, and the weird atmosphere slowly dissipates. Jimin laughs at your jab, but the sound ends quicker than it did before. From the corner of your eye, you see Jimin staring at your linked hands.

The rest of the walk home becomes more muted as Jimin starts talking about his after school dance practices. The look on his face is serious, maybe even ashamed. You ask him what’s wrong.

“Hyung… I haven’t danced in a month.”

Your grip on his hand stops the two of you in your tracks. This information isn’t new to you, because it was highlighted in yellow in his death report. But the deep breath you take isn’t fake; you genuinely ache for him.

“Why? I thought dance was your life. It’s our life.” You state more than ask, and Jimin fidgets under your weighty stare. Your gaze softens, and you rub circles of comfort over his clenched fist. He looks away before he speaks.

“It is my life… but when you disappeared after that night, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to keep it.”

It? Was it his passion for dance? Or his life?

You don’t ask that question. Instead, you take his chin in your unoccupied hand to tilt his face towards you. His eyes are still downcast—irises flitting about apprehensively. You know that he still has something to ask, but it seems like you were going to have to push him a bit to make him speak. So, you lower your head to make eye contact with him, waving jokingly at his face.

“Hello? Earth to Jimin? Go on, say whatever is on that silly brain of yours. I know you want to tell me something.” You say, rolling your eyes before pointing a comforting smile at him. Jimin’s smile resurfaces like lightning, before disappearing just as quickly.

“It’s just… I heard from some classmates that you overdosed a few weeks ago. And when you suddenly stopped coming by the school during dismissal, my brain went to the worst place and I… I just thought—“Jimin’s voice catches mid-sentence, cracking slightly from emotion. He clasps a hand around his mouth, as if unwilling to finish the thought. A dark look encompasses his face, but his eyes remain dry.

You start to panic. Fuck. This is bad. You can’t make Jimin’s last day a sad one. You got to turn the conversation around.

“Oh Jiminie! Is that what was worrying you all this time? You know me; I was just cooped up in the dance studio these days. I finally found this awesome mixtape for my showcase. You ever heard of Rap Monster?” The lie falls smoothly off your tongue, and you’re suddenly grateful that you had read that part of Hoseok’s file just as deeply as you had analyzed Jimin’s, or else you wouldn’t have known about his dance activities at all.

It is only with some guilt when you allow yourself to bask in the warmth of Jimin’s grin.

“Rap Monster? What kind of name is that?” He laughs heartily, his giggles pitching to almost sound like little squeaks from how happily he shook.

In that moment, Jimin certainly didn’t look like the type to commit suicide in a bathtub. Not a lot of people ever do, but you suppose that’s why they say you can never judge a book by its cover.

The thought leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

Not soon after, the two of you arrive outside Jimin’s small apartment. Your hands are still intertwined when Jimin goes to open the door.

“Hey, want to go upstairs and play some video games?” He chirps, tugging you along to the inside of his home. Just as you are about to enter, however, your phone rings. You jump at the sound, surprised to be getting a notification in the middle of your mission.

Almost reluctantly, you separate your hands in order to reach for your phone. Your eyes widen at the warning signs on your display screen, and you are quick to push Jimin inside his home lest he get a glimpse of your text. “Uh, sorry Jimin. I got a call from work. You go on up, ok? I’ll catch up.”

Jimin seems unwilling to let go for some reason, and you are almost afraid that Jimin might refuse, that he knows the truth and that you’re not actually Hoseok—

The weird look on Jimin’s face vanishes soon after, but the tension from his odd stare remains. “Alright… but don’t bail on me alright? My mom left some fried chicken for dinner, and I really don’t want to finish it myself!” He tries to jest, but you don’t miss the subtle message in his tone: don’t leave me.

After you nod your head and promise that you won’t leave, Jimin gives you one last look before closing the door. The moment Jimin’s prying eyes leave your form, you quickly unlock your phone where his death file is still open.

Everything still seems to be in order, except—

“Shit,” you mutter, watching in horror as his “Chance of Death” lowered by the second. It had been a solid 95% this morning, but now you were watching in real-time as the percentage dropped to as low as 68%.

You curse to yourself, pocketing your phone and taking a deep breath. It seems “Hoseok’s” reappearance has reignited Jimin’s will to live, meaning you are inadvertently preventing his death. This is definitely not good.

You can only avoid death so many times before it catches up with you—and you didn’t want it to hold Jimin down by the throat. He didn’t deserve a death worse than the one already predetermined for him. This was supposed to be his last good day.

Think. You have to increase those chances to at least 95% again in order to consider this mission a success. Assortments of ideas filter through your head, but all of them seem so indescribably cruel that it almost pains you to do them.

But you had to. An escaped death would have been much crueler, in the end. If Seokjin had taught you anything about helping humans evade death, it’s that it would only hurt you and them in the process.

Jimin was not going to be another Yoongi. You can’t allow it.

Park Jimin has to die today, and you had to make sure of that.

When you muster the energy to go inside his home, you are startled to find Jimin shirtless, seemingly in the midst of changing. He yelps at your sudden reappearance, a steady red blush rising from his chest to his neck. He licks his lips nervously, and you force your eyes to stay trained on his own.

He quickly puts his shirt on. “You came back.” He breathes out.

You swallow drily, before nodding and feigning disinterest as you try not to look too disappointed that he put his clothes on so quickly. The tension is fucking palpable, and you can feel yourself choking on your own spit. You plop yourself on the couch, giving him an expectant look as you pat the space beside you.

“Video games, right?” you smile, breaking the silence.

Stepping out of his reverie, Jimin shakes his head, coughing lightly as he goes over to his gaming console and pops in a random game to play. He chucks an extra controller at you, and you stare with wide-eyed amazement as you see the numerous stickers decorating it. Glittery hearts and smiley faces are scattered all around it, making its original black color almost unrecognizable under the sheer color of the stickers.

Jimin smirks at your dumbfounded look. “Why do you look so surprised? Don’t you remember when you said you wanted to, what did you say? Stake your claim on the better controller that didn’t have messed up buttons?”

You gulp, looking at Jimin then back at the controller. Holy fuck, they really were whipped for each other.

“Uh… yeah. Obviously, you sabotaged the other controller which is why I always lost in the games!” You still aren’t over how fucking in love Jimin was with this dude. Fuck, how hadn’t you noticed? You itch to look at the status of Jimin’s chance of death.

“Oh, shut up hyung! You lose every single time we play, no matter what! I think you just like saying my stuff is yours,” he laughs, but it sounds forced, embarrassed. A deep flush coats his cheeks yet again and you try to wrack your brain as to why he would seem flustered by a little comment—

Oh right. He was referencing that night again.

“Let’s… just play the game, alright?” You say not unkindly, but your subtle rejection makes itself known on Jimin’s face as his eyes droop even lower, before carefully placing himself beside you, with some space between your two bodies.

As it turns out, even though you’re impersonating Hoseok, you obviously don’t acquire any of his skills, and that includes both dancing and gaming. So when Jimin defeats you for the tenth time in Mortal Kombat, it is almost a surprise that Jimin doesn’t find it odd that you were just button mashing your way through the rounds.

“Hyung! What the fuck! You’re so shit at this game!” Jimin laughs, throwing his body onto yours in his fit of glee. You tense up at the contact, trying to inconspicuously inch away from his body until he finally gets the hint. Jimin freezes in his giggling, before retracting away from you in an instant. He looks away from you, and rubs his neck in embarrassment.

He coughs awkwardly. “Uh, sorry about that.”

You try to shrug it off, but your heart pains for him. He loves Hoseok so damn much. “It’s okay. You didn’t mean it.”

Oh, he fucking meant it all right.

In the wake of the uncomfortable silence, you happen to glance at your watch and almost gasp when you notice the minute hand slowly reach 7:01PM. Your head snaps up to Jimin, who was gazing at you forlornly.

“Oh…Are you leaving so soon, hyung?” His voice drops by the end of the sentence, his stare finally breaking and turning towards the floor instead. “That’s too bad.”

You seriously debate leaving right now. This mission was already starting to look too much like Yoongi’s. Even looking at Jimin’s sad face was starting to make you hyperventilate in fear, your repressed memories slowly rising up.

Dark black eyes staring pleadingly at you, his rosy red lips begging to be kissed again. He whispers, “Don’t leave.”

You shake your head, willing the thoughts to go away. Bad, bad, bad.

But as you sneak a peek at your phone to check Jimin’s percentage, it still hasn’t reached 90%, and you know from experience that the best way to know that they were truly going to die is if the percentage reached 95%, so you couldn’t just hope that he would suddenly want to die within the span of 40 minutes.

No. You had to do something. Something cruel.

Even though Park Jimin was your 99th mission, it never gets any easier.

“No, Jiminie. I’m not leaving just yet. You can’t kick me out that easily!” You slap Jimin on the back playfully, and the gesture makes your phone ping in response. Fuck. That means it lowered again.

You clear your throat. “Hey, Jiminie. Mind if I use the bathroom real quick though?”

Jimin looks at you semi-strangely. “Why are you asking all of sudden, like you have manners? You normally just go and take a shit whenever you want to, gross-hyung.”

To save yourself from your slip-up, you yawn over-dramatically, taking care to make your face look as ugly as possible. To your disappointment, you hear Jimin laugh endearingly, and you can only imagine how low the percentage is right now.

“Oh fuck, I don’t know what’s happening to me, Jimin. I guess I’m starting to get senile from all that dancing.” (A weird joke between Jimin and Hoseok that you still didn’t quite understand, but you’re guessing it was the correct thing to say because Jimin shrugs off your strangeness almost immediately after.)

Rolling his eyes, he grabs your hand and drags you to the toilet himself, all the while whispering how “you are such a drama queen” the entire way. He directs you to the bathroom, and it almost appears as if he wants to follow before you give him a hard gaze and he flushes embarrassedly, running his hand through his hair before tripping his way back to the living room.

You watch his retreating form and wish with all your heart that you could turn him around, tell him once and for all who you were and that you’re not actually—

You banish those thoughts to the deepest recesses of your heart. This is not the time to be soft. You can’t allow it. Not again.

As you close the door with a resounding ‘click,’ you hurriedly check your phone to see Jimin’s file once again.

Current Time: 7:07PM

Chance of Death: 74%

Although it wasn’t as low an hour ago, it is still not even nearly good enough. You are in the middle of figuring out how to go about raising his percentage when you happen to notice the water heater unplugged.

That’s no good. His bath water would be cold.

You open the door, peering out into the living room. “Oy, Jimin! Your heater isn’t plugged in!”

The soft pattering footsteps indicate Jimin’s approach. “Huh? Why are you looking at my water heater, weirdo?” He says, looking inside to see what you were doing. He raises a brow. “Were you gonna shower or something?”

“No, but like…how do you even handle showering? Cold water is shit!”

Jimin shrugs. “Oh. Well, I like to shower in cold water. They say it’s healthier.”

“Healthy, smellthy! Are you a masochist? Hot baths are the best!”

“It’s okay, really. I’m used to cold water and colder beds.” He suddenly spits out, and the dark look that had encompassed his face a while ago makes its return. You stare wide-eyed at him, realization dawning on you. Oh. That night again.

“Jimin…”

Jimin finally snaps. “Don’t Jimin me, hyung. What happened? What changed? Why did you disappear after… after that? We were so close back then. I’m always happiest when I am with you, and I know you are the same. Are? Were? I don’t know anymore! It’s just…” he takes a breath, swallowing heavily. You look at his eyes: dry as the desert, still.

“When you disappeared, I thought…I thought it was because of me. That you were disgusted with yourself, that you had chosen to be with someone like me—“

Your heart breaks even further. Don’t say that about yourself, please. That’s further from the truth. Hoseok loved you so much. Please.

Please, stop.

But Jimin doesn’t stop.

“Then this afternoon, you suddenly reappear into my life and it’s like nothing happened. I was fine with letting myself think this was like how we were before. You’re making me laugh and making me remember what it was like to be happy. I thought we could just go back to being friends. But I can’t.” He pauses, breathing heavily. He stares pitifully at you.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about that night. You held me so tightly, hyung. You kissed away every drop of hate I had for myself in my body and made me actually feel loved—as if I was worthy of it. So when you came back to me today and started making me remember, it made me think that…that night couldn’t have been a mistake. That you remember it, that we could still be something more. That my anxieties can finally be put to rest because you are finally reciprocating and yet! And yet.”

And yet.

“You still push me away. I see it, you know. I may be suicidal, but I’m not dumb, hyung. Just, tell me. What do you want from me?” He gasps out, despair clinging onto every word that Jimin uttered.

He said it. He really admitted it.

In that moment, wave after wave of sadness and pity washes over you. The pain of seeing such hopeful eyes, a gaze that whispered of stuttered promises at the dead of night and unspoken vows never to be uttered. A future waiting to bloom, if only you not been an imposter.

In a different universe, Hoseok would be standing where you stood, and he’d kiss away all of his unshed tears away.

It was all too fucking dreadful—horrendous even—to bear.

You wished so badly that you weren’t standing here, watching as a man in love watched his lover—you—hold his entire life in your hands. You wished you weren’t tasked with this fucking mission, that you had gotten some random old man instead of this boy who had too much love in his bones.

You wished that you didn’t look like the boy who carried Jimin’s heart. But most of all:

You wished Hoseok hadn’t died, so Jimin wouldn’t have had to die as well.

In the back of your mind, a voice whispers, tempting you.

Save him. Save him, please. He isn’t going to be like Yoongi. You will save him, Y/N. He is worth the pain. He is going to make it; he has to. Please, don’t let him die. Please.

You ignore the way the voice sounds like a man’s, like a man in love with the boy in front of you. You squash it, suppress it, burn it.

I’m sorry, Hoseok. No one can save a dead man.

“I don’t want anything from you, Jimin. I never did. I’m sorry.”

74%…78%…

“What? Hyung, I know you’re dealing with things right now, but I swear, I can fix myself. I can—“

“It’s not that. We just can’t.”

78%…80%…

“Why?”

“I can’t give you what you want because…because I don’t want to.”

80%…85%…

“Hyung…?”

“Jimin. I can’t love you. I don’t love you. I never did. I used you as a warm body on a cold day. It wasn’t real. I’m sorry.” You were feeding his anxieties, making it fester and boil and mature. It was eating him alive; you could see it.

85%…90%…

“You don’t mean that. You don��t… You’re not like that.” His voice warbles, and it might have been the trick of the light but you swear that his eyes start to shine. But no tears fall, still. You aren’t sure if you could continue if he did start to cry. You wish he would start to cry, just so you could fucking stop.

“Why do you think I disappeared for so long? I was guilty for using you, so I went far away. Along the way, I met someone, Jiminie. Someone who can actually complete me. I wanted someone whole, you know? I’m sorry. In fact, she’s texting me right now.” You take this moment to check your phone, pretending to text this fake girl in order to see Jimin’s file.

Current Time: 7:24PM

Chance of Death: 93%

You look back up. You stare at the space above his head, in fear of what you’d actually see. You were a coward, and so you quietly choked on your sins.

You seal the deal. “In the end, Jimin, all I wanted to do today was just to apologize. I’m sorry.”

93%...95%

Your phone beeps the moment you finish your sentence. You swallow heavily, a sob almost making its escape from your throat.

And so you turn, not wanting to see the destruction you leave. You are cowardly. You are more than ready to dash out of there and never return when your eyes land on the heater again. You quickly push in the plug, feeling his eyes drilling holes into the back of your skull. You wipe your sweaty palms on your jeans.

You still don’t look back, but you manage to say, “Have a good bath, okay Jiminie?”

How cruel. How despicably cruel.

You rush out, never taking one glance back.

You run as fast as you can, the tears finally flowing as your disguise melts away from your body. Bright orange hair slowly starts to dull to its original color, perfect nose turning back to its meager appearance. You were no longer Hoseok. You were yourself.

And so, you allowed yourself to grieve.

In the end, you never got to give Park Jimin proper closure like you had intended, but the rules of your business are simple but strict. Death before closure; that was the rule. Park Jimin’s last day was not a good day, and it was all your fault.

As you look up at the setting sun, the only comfort that will help you sleep at night was the fact at the very least, his bath water will be warm when he dies.

At 7:39PM, Jimin unplugs the heater.

At 7:44PM, the water fills up to the brink. Jimin submerges his head.

At 7:49PM, the house is still.

[juswansneep]

what do you like to do when you have time off from work? any specific hobbies?

i really like to watch movies and play videogames! i’m kind of a homebody so if it can be done at home? i’m down.

if you could only eat one food for the rest of your life what would you choose and why?

sushi! it’s easy to make and tasty tasty tasty

what is your favourite genre of movies and tv shows?

sci-fi and thrillers are my shit. i do love horror movies but most of them don’t scare me because it’s kinda obvious what’s going to happen. tv shows? i watch a TON of anime like way too much anime... i also really like any tv show with zombies, space or is animated. an animated zombie tv show set in space is my dream...

what would you consider to be your best attributes? what do you most like about yourself?

i’m a good friend! i travel around a lot but i still manage to keep good ties and try my hardest to be there for all my friends in their time of need. 

whats the most important trait you look for in a person when it comes to being friends?

humour and realness. does that make sense? i like when i can banter with people and when they’re not trying to be something they’re not. 

if you ever won the lottery, how would you choose to spend the winnings?

first of all i’d pay off all my debts and then my families debt then i’d use the rest of the money to set up my own fashion line and maybe even my own agency for stylists so i can help people get into the industry and find work.

what would you say your spirit animal is?

a goliath frog no doubt.

if you were stranded on an island, what 3 items would you want to have with you?

my couch (including all my pillows and blankets let me have this!!!!), a towel so i can get the sand off my toes ew worst feeling aaaand last but not least i would probably take a friend. can i take a person? i’d take taemin but he’s got a whole family so maybe i’ll take my mum!

who is your favourite musical artist?

this is going to sound weird but i mainly just listen to movie soundtracks so i guess hans zimmer? 

whats one thing you have always wanted to do but have not yet done?

i’ve never climbed a mountain!!!! i mean like to the very top i want to do that.

what would be your dream job?

stylist/fashion designer/queen of japan/international hand model/unemployed but wealthy

what is an achievement in life you are most proud of?

making enough money to purchase homes for my family and myself! i really didn’t think i’d be able to do it but saving and living sparingly for a few years payed off a lot sooner than i thought!

do you have any pets? if not would you ever like to own a pet and which kind of pet would you buy?

YES i have a toy poodle called akamaru named after the dog in naruto he’s 6 and likes to sleep

[onkeywritings]

onkey - first kiss in like college or high school? it would be nice if you could write this

i can try my best!

First Kisses

Lee Jinki is not a gossip. Kim Jonghyun, on the other hand, is. The subject of Jonghyun’s gossip is mostly the gorgeous mystery that studies sculpting, a man neither Jinki nor Jonghyun has ever really spoken to. 

Jinki usually just humours his best friend, lets him talk without really listening. Jinki doesn’t really need all the rumours. It is true that Key is beautiful, confident and has an air of superiority, but that’s also the only thing Jinki has any interest in confirming. 

He doesn’t have anything to do in the Arts department, anyway, because he studies Philosophy.

“I heard he slept with Professor Hwang to get the highest grade in History of Korean and Eastern Sculpture,” Jonghyun says and Jinki hums. 

He doesn’t think that’s how it works because Professor Hwang is a nice woman who is happily married but he lets Jonghyun talk anyway. Jonghyun continues his spiel and Jinki nods and hums in all the right places to make sure Jonghyun believes he’s listening. If truth is to be told, they probably both know that Jinki doesn’t give a fuck about the rumours. 

He’s focused on the assignment they have just received in Existentialism and he doesn’t notice when someone sits down beside Jonghyun. It isn’t until a large hand squeezes his shoulder hard, that Jinki blinks and returns to the cafeteria where his friends sit. 

“I can’t believe you just stopped listening,” Jonghyun says disappointed and Jinki sends him a small smile. 

“Sorry?” he says although he’s not apologetic at all. Jonghyun just rolls his eyes and Jinki hears the low chuckle from beside him. When he turns, he gets eye contact with a boy with large eyes and soft brown hair. 

“Hey Minho! Did you hear Jonghyun has new gossip about the mysterious sculptor?” Jinki asks and Minho snorts a little.

“That’s cute, but I’m not interested in the guy.” 

To this, Jonghyun snorts and mumbles about incompetent friends and leaves them to find someone else that will listen to him. Minho lifts an eyebrow before he shrugs and reaches out to take Jinki’s last kimbap. Jinki just lets him.

Jinki walks through the empty corridors of the humanities building. He has been working late in the library and he’s on his way back when he turns a corner and hears a faint sound that cannot be anything but crying. 

He tilts his head and slowly moves towards the sound and when he 30 seconds later finds himself in front of an empty staircase he raises an eyebrow in confusion. The sobbing is still there, however, their breaths ragged as if they have been crying for quite some time. 

Jinki turns around, hoping to find an empty classroom with a door slightly open close by but there is nothing. The only thing is the stairs and the stairs can’t possibly be crying. 

A harder look reveals a person underneath the stairs, knees pressed against their chest. 

“Hello,” Jinki tries in a soft voice. The other person startles so much they bang their head agains the wall and groans in pain. 

“I’m fine,” they say reflexively and Jinki seriously doubts that so he doesn’t leave. Instead he crouches down and sends the other person a small smile. 

“You don’t look like you’re fine,” he says and the other person sighs a little and crawls from the darkness. Key looks at him from underneath blond hair, eyes red and bloodshot and he sniffles a little as he dries the tears on his cheeks with elegant fingers. 

“It’s nothing,” Key says and Jinki begs to disagree. “Goodbye.” 

With those words, he seems to collect himself, back straight and confident strides down the hallway as if he hasn’t just been crying seconds prior. Jinki watches him leave with a weird feeling.

“I know,” Jonghyun says and Jinki groans.

“Not now,” he says and tries to write down his thoughts so he doesn’t forget them. Jonghyun hmprfs and continues anyway.

“As I was saying, I know Taemin and Jongin are going to have a party next weekend and you, my best friend, are also going.” 

Jinki looks up from his papers and towards Jonghyun.

“Jonghyun,” he whines. Jonghyun doesn’t look towards him. “You know I’m busy with Existentialism.” 

Jonghyun still ignores him. Jinki throws his pencil towards the smaller man but Jonghyun dodges and Jinki gives up. Party next weekend it is.

The bass is pounding and Jinki is too busy trying to figure out what Sartre really means in Being and Nothingness and if he can understand it so well that he’ll be able to write it down in an essay. 

He really doesn’t want to be here tonight, but Jonghyun is persuasive and Jinki doesn’t exactly hate it either. He just has other things. 

Minho sends him a kind smile. It’s not a big party at all and Jinki knows that Taemin and Jongin keep a count of how many enters. Neither of them want their apartment ruined. It does surprise him when he finds Key in the middle of it all, however. 

Key’s body moves in ways Jinki has never seen any body move, not even Taemin or Jongin’s. It’s magnetic in a strange way, a pull towards the other that exudes confidence even though all he’s doing is having fun. He laughs to the girl that dances with him and Jinki tears his eyes away.

As the evening goes, the music is turned down, the alcohol gets stronger and people come together in small groups to play games. Jinki, having only had two beers, decides to head to the bedroom and open the window and just spend a moment on his own. 

He’s not alone in the bedroom, though. At first he thinks it’s a couple having sex but he doesn’t recall anyone missing from the living and as he gets a closer look, he notices that it’s only one person. 

Key is sleeping on Taemin’s bed and it looks so soft that Jinki can only retreat, closing the door behind him.

That should really be the only two encounters Jinki has with Key, but it isn’t. They run into each other often and even though Jinki is busy and he would rather not admit it, he does start to fall for the other man, his aura just simply impossible to ignore and his appearance enchanting. 

Having a crush on Key, however, is less good because that means that he actually does start to care about the rumours. It’s not that Jinki wouldn’t be with someone who has had sex before; those things don’t matter to Jinki. It’s mostly because he cares about what is being said and he finds it unfair. 

He doesn’t want people to think of Key the way they do, he wants them to see the enchanting person he sees. And maybe he is projecting his dreams onto Key, creating an image he can’t escape but whatever it is, Jinki doesn’t like the rumours. Key doesn’t seem to mind them any more than usually. 

Jinki finds him admirable and falls even harder.

So it surprises Jinki when Key suddenly strikes up a conversation with him. They’re outside on the large field, the football team is playing against some neighbouring university and Jinki couldn’t have been less interested. 

Key sends him a smile and just starts talking like it’s normal, but Jinki’s heart is beating against his ribcage and it’s stupid, it’s utterly ridiculous, because they don’t know each other and Key is just another guy. 

Jinki answers his question and the conversation is pleasant but the gazes that fall upon them are distracting him.

“You!” Jonghyun says and pokes Jinki’s chest. Jinki winces.

“It was just one conversation!” 

Jonghyun looks at him confused and shakes his head.

“Not that,” he says and Jinki looks confused as well. “Why didn’t you tell me you were in love?” 

Jinki swallows a gulp and takes a deep breath.

“I,” he says but Jonghyun interrupts him.

“What kind of best friend tells Minho first?” 

Jinki blinks confused. 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” 

Jonghyun stops and looks at him with big eyes.

“Luna,” he says and his eyes turn to slits. Jinki starts laughing. It comes as such a relief that it’s the only way he knows how to react.

“Jonghyun, I’m gay. I told you when we were 15.” 

Jonghyun blinks a little before he realises Minho has fooled him and he stalks around towards the taller man while Jinki chuckles.

If anyone had told Jinki that he would be close to Key, he would have laughed at them. Yet here he is, talking to the other man like it’s the most normal thing, sitting on the staircase where he had first found Key crying. 

Key hasn’t mentioned the incident, Jinki is pretty sure he has forgotten about it and Jinki doesn’t consider it important. At least not so important that he needs to know what had happened. 

He does get to know Key pretty well, however, and he learns things he’d never thought he’d know. Key has so many stories to tell and time flies when they hang out together. 

So Jinki’s crush only grows into love and although he tries his hardest, it becomes so difficult for him to conceal.

Jinki is talking to Key one evening in May. They’re sitting under the big oak on campus and the stars are shining above them, the air hot enough to keep the warm without a lot of clothes. 

Key smiles and laughs carefree and Jinki’s heart burst with love like was it spouting fireworks. So he does what he does best - he fucks up. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asks and then immediately covers his mouth. “I mean …” He doesn’t get to continue, however, before Key nods, a small red dusting his cheeks. 

“Yes, you can kiss me.” 

Jinki blinks. 

“What?” he asks in a daze and Key laughs a little.

“You don’t want to?” he asks and Jinki only needs to hear that once before he leans over and connects their lips. 

The kiss is unexperienced. It’s lips against lips and it feels soft but hesitant. There’s something about it that speaks of innocence and shy giggles in closed rooms and Jinki feels like this is a secret that must be preserved. 

They kiss for a few seconds before he withdraws and looks at Key with a small smile. Key lifts his fingers to his lips before he smiles too. 

“Kiss me again,” he says and Jinki does so. The second kiss is less hesitant but still as inexperienced. It’s trying, exploring the press of the lips. Jinki presses a little closer, making the kiss firmer. 

Key complies, lets Jinki take control and becomes pliant under Jinki’s fingers as they work their way through his hair. Jinki doesn’t prod at him, he doesn’t deepen the kiss. It’s just a firm press of lips but it’s perfect. 

When they part, Key sends him a small smile.

“Want to know a secret?” Key asks and Jinki nods a little. The stars above them are hidden by clouds and the air is a little colder. They’re still under the oak and the campus is still silent in the night. “That was my first kiss.” 

Jinki’s eyes widen with surprise and Key laughs a little.

“No way,” Jinki whispers and Key nods.

“Yes way. Now kiss me again. If I knew it felt this good, I would’ve done it before!”

Jinki leans down to press his lips against Key’s again.

[inscmniac]

▼ from jeremy (~;

catching j getting off 4 times + one time he helped out.

❛ ONE ░( he stretches his whole body before he unwillingly gets out of his bed, woken up by the dreadful sound of his alarm clock which announced that he needed to get ready for his first morning class. he rubs the sleep from his eyes and his upper and lower lids meet and part a couple of times quickly, enabling him to focus as he makes his way to one of the tke frat bathrooms. he goes inside quietly, quickly getting rid of his pajamas, still half asleep and dismissing the sound of the shower, thinking it’s just his ears buzzing since he’s running on three hours of sleep and his head aches. he moves the shower curtain and gets woken up instantly by the sight. he sees his frat president pressed against the wall, the water rolling down his statuesque torso while he’s stroking himself slowly - he obviously didn’t hear taemin come inside. the blond stands there, butt naked too and involuntarily checks him out - it’s the first time they see each other naked and it takes him a bit to come to his senses and tear his brown orbs away from the male. “fuck” he curses under his breath, grabs his things and leaves the bathroom fast, not even apologizing to jett. his head’s already filled with all the awkward and uncomfortable conversations they’re going to have after this, but most of his brain keeps the scene from the bathroom in front of his eyes. god, the tiny freshman thinks he’ll never be able to look at this person and not think about what he saw today. )

❛ TWO ░ ( the clock shows exactly three nineteen in the morning, yet taemin’s eyes are wide open as he lies on his back and contemplates the meaning of the universe while staring at the immaculately white ceiling. he finds his frat president often creeping into his thoughts around this time lately, making the sleepy corners of his lips tug up just a little bit as his eyes fall shut. he didn’t feel like going out with his roommate tonight so he stayed in the house, his math homework entertaining him. jaesung’s still not home, so he’s a little worried now and eyes his phone, trying to decide whether to give him a call or not. maybe send a text? but that’s when he hears moans that are definitely a bit louder since he can hear them coming from the room right next to his own. he immediately frowns, thinking that the jett brought someone with him. he feels a pang of jealousy for some reason. he decides to be a dick and marches over to jeremy’s room, storming inside and then freezing, seeing that he’s all alone and playing with himself. “ dude... can you keep it the fuck down? ‘m tryna sleep.” he scoffs as if he’s annoyed, yet he smirks to himself. he takes a step back and closes the door, but then peeks inside one more time. “one more thing … make sure you think about me.” he winks at him before closing the door and walks back to his room, a satisfied grin on his face. )

❛ THREE ░ ( oh that sweet, familiar feeling he’s going to regret tomorrow. the alcohol sliding down his throat and burning his insides, dizzying his mind. as if all the drinks they had at the bar weren’t enough, he gulps a shot of whiskey that he had stashed underneath his bed. only then does he waddle over to the couch in the living room of the tke house, where the brunet has already rid himself of his pants. he hears small moans that he can’t determine the source of, but they’re definitely not jett’s. his vision is too blurry and he feels too sick to even try and determine what’s going on. accidentally he rests his head on jett’s shoulder and groans, trying his hardest not to puke by looking for something to focus on. soon he finds it - the boy’s tanned hand palming him over his boxers which makes tae hum softly. he closes his eyes and gives his full attention to the little whimpers instead of the exaggerated ones coming through the speakers. and before he knows it, his hand shoots up with desire to help the boy out, but it ends up on his own crotch instead. )

❛ FOUR ░ ( after a very long and tiring afternoon class after which he stayed at the library for longer than he planned to just to finish some of his work, taemin finally comes back home. he feels like he has thorns all over his ass, his spine feels out of place, his neck’s burning along with his wrists and fingers. he’s praying to god almighty that the brunet, who was in charge of food, at least ordered something for him too and cleaned around the living room a bit - taemin doesn’t tolerate any mess whatsoever and everything needs to stay organized and neat or else he’ll freak out. he walks in on jett masturbating, of course, an empty bag of chips on the couch right next to him, crumbs all over it, and an empty can of beer in front of him, along with his clothes thrown over the arm rest. “for fuck’s sake! do you know how to do anything other than fucking jerk off? do you have a chronic fuckin’ masturbating disease? ‘cause i swear to go i caught you doing it ten times today and every single day before that! and d’you know how many times i saw you being useful? NONE!” he yells at him, even more annoyed than he was before he walked in, but he still can’t deny that he wants to jump his bones right here and right now. )

❛ FIVE ░ ( it’s a very common thing to happen on a night when jaesung evaporates from their room in order to go party with kerry, or taemin kicks him out, claiming that he has homework to do and that the other’s annoying him. he starts missing him. aching for him. and he keeps thinking about all the people jaesung might be meeting and flirting with and sleeping with while he’s not with him. he gets lonely and jealous and wants to get back at one of the most important people in his life, even though he has no right to feel the way he’s feeling. usually, his first option would be a quick round of fighting and fucking with jaewon, but once he picked up on what was going on with him and daehyun, he decided to back the fuck away. only for dae. he respects kerry way too much and going to jun or cas simply isn’t an opion worth considering. so he goes where he certainly doesn’t need to be. he goes back to the root of almost all of his problems. jeremy. he isn’t quite certain how they got all snuggled up and covered with a single blanket, but it’s not like he isn’t enjoying the warmth that jett’s body is radiating on such a cold night. he’s the only person who knows how taemin loves, who knows how soft he is when he adores you and you're aware of it, so it comes easy to tae to fall back to his old habits, even after a couple of years of pure torture. his head is resting on the taller’s shoulder, hand thrown over his body as they watch a chick flick just for shits and giggles. he can tell that jett’s already drifted off even though the film’s not close to being over yet. tae’s feeling rather drained too, his heavy lids slowly making him see only pitch black. he’s close to falling asleep when he hears quiet whimpers and opens his eyes curiously to see jeremy breathing unevenly, the little sounds becoming more frequent. “jeremy … ‘ey, dude? wake up.”  he shakes him a little until the boy looks at him with those brown doe eyes that manage to make taemin’s heart flutter. “you were moaning in your sleep, you disgusting pervert.” a small smile appears on his lips before he lowers his head back on jett’s shoulder where he finally falls asleep. not long after that, since he’s a very light sleeper, he can feel his body being moved and losing the heat. he’s just lying there for a while, too lazy to open his eyes. but, against his own will and while frowning, he looks at the boy who stopped holding him, obviously too affected by that dream not to do anything about it. “remy...” he whispers, his voice barely louder than the sound of another film that came on, his face illuminated by the glow of the tv. “let me.” he pleads softly and closes the gap between them again. he’s lying on his side right next to jett, the left side of his body leaning over him just a little. he gives those plump, rosy lips a sweet, sleepy kiss, eyes shut as his heart threatens to break his ribs and get out of his wrecked chest. he hasn’t kissed him in years. his slightly colder hand touches jeremy’s hip and starts slowly pushing his shirt up in order to expose his stomach and make sure the shirt doesn’t get messy. then the tiny hand slides down his warm skin, probably ticking him a little and making his senses go wild with tender touches. he waits for jett to move his hand so that he can wrap his own around him, moving it up and down incredibly slowly while occupying his mouth with a lazy, wet kiss. not long after it, since jett’s surely been pleasuring himself for a bit before taemin opened his eyes, he can tell that the male’s breaths are getting shallower and shallower, a throbbing sensation in his hand as the boy moans into his mouth. it gets a few whimpers out of the blonde male too who then sinks his teeth into the kiss-swollen lower lip of jett’s. “let’s get cleaned up and get some rest, mm? i know you’ll wake up super early in order to kick my ass out.” he smiles against his lips before pressing another soft kiss on them. )  

[nctinfo]

[TRANS] "Ten" Thai in Korea, determined to improve and gain experiences

After debuting and becoming a Korean idol in the band “NCT”, how do feel when someone refers to you as “Ten NCT”?

At first, I was unfamiliar with Ten NCT, because everyone used to call me Ten SM Rookies, including the people in Thailand. However, after debuting with NCT, I feel very happy that our group finally has its own name (smiles); that we have our own signatures. When people call our names and follow with “NCT”, it makes me feel very proud - like we’ve accomplished part of our goal. But for me, this is only the beginning.

From the time where you were a trainee to today where you get to stand on a stage, how do you feel and in which areas do you think you have learned and improved on?

When I was a trainee, there were times where I went on stage to represent SM Rookies. After debuting, the excitement I felt on stage didn’t change much, but now, we have our own songs and we get to perform our own songs. This made me feel like I had to show my individuality for the fans to see. In terms of improvement, it’s probably confidence. When I was a trainee, I did feel like I had confidence, but it wasn’t that much. We had to do what the staff said. However, after debuting and performing on stage, we were able to express our emotions more. Other than this, I still practice regularly, in order to provide a show that improves every time.

These days, have you adjusted more to the Korean lifestyle?

Currently, I’ve adapted to the lifestyle by a lot. The thing I haven’t completely adjusted to is language. Right now, it’s at a certain point but I want to be able to speak it more fluently and I want to know more vocabulary and fix my accent to be clearer as well. However, in terms of food, I have no problem with it (smiles).

When do you feel tired and discouraged in Korea and how do you cope with it?

I felt most discouraged during my trainee days. When training, I wanted to see specific results, but sometimes, it takes more than just 1 or 2 days to get what you want. During these times, I felt very frustrated with myself and  I thought about why I didn’t get those results. However, after debuting, I came to know that in order to master something, we have to collect those skills bit by bit. We also have to know our own bodies and not overdo anything. Thus, I believe we should think thoroughly and gradually practice. That is probably the best thing that we can do. As for when I get tired, the first thing I do is talk to my parents. Also, I always think about my goal before coming to Korea, and the reason why I want to join the entertainment industry. When I think about these things, it gives me motivation to keep on going.

Did you have any friends or sunbaes in SM that gave you advice?

Actually, all the sunbaes were kind to us and talked to us, especially Siwon from Super Junior. For example, during Chinese New Year, which occurs on the same day as the Lunar New Year in Korea, Siwon bought food for the all the international hoobaes to eat together. Taemin from Shinee also gave us advice and took care of us. At first, Siwon also came and spoke Thai with me, saying “sawadee krub” (hello), but these days he doesn’t say it anymore (laughing).

If you were to release a duet, who would you want to be your partner?

Oh, there are many people (smiles). In terms of Korean artists, if I had the chance, I would want to collab with Taemin Shinee because he’s my idol. I want to be skillful like him. As for my group members, I would want to try making a song with everyone, because everyone has different personalities, different taste in music. If we were to produce a song, the color of each song would be different; that’s why I would like to work with everyone. Personally, if I were able to duet, I would like to make a song with pop and R&B sounds with a medium tempo.

Could you talk about your experiences from performing in “Hit The Stage”?

It was the first place that I was able to show my dancing skills alone. At first, I was quite scared, because after debuting and going through tough competition, I had to compete with all these sunbaes from different groups. At first, I felt a lot of pressure (smiles), but after showing my stage, I felt unfettered and had a lot of fun. Being on this show made me know that I like dancing. Before this, there were some times where I felt like dancing was tiring, but after performing, I knew I truly liked dancing.

What did you learn from “Hit the Stage” and which of your performances do you like the most?

I learned about performing. When I was in SM Rookies, I once gave an interview about how I had trouble showing my facial expressions when I was performing. I think that if anyone tries, they can become a good dancer, but the most important thing is showing our emotions through our facial expressions. This is extremely challenging as it isn’t something we can copy from someone else. We have to incorporate our personality as well. At that time, I performed and tried to find more of my own personality, and that also gave me more confidence. As for the stages that I like the most, the first stage is called “Devil” and the stage that got me first place is “The Thunder”, which represented an orchestra in which I was a conductor for. The reason I chose this stage was because most of the time, I dance a lot, and sometimes, I want to challenge myself. This stage had both a lot of dancing and facial expressions. It was challenging in respect to the areas that I wanted to improve on. But really, I like every show I’ve done, it’s just these two shows that I had the most fun with and felt the most unfettered.

Let’s ask about “NCT” now. Which of your members speak the best Thai?

I think Taeyong has the best accent and Mark is the best overall. If he practiced a bit, he would probably speak very clearly. Actually, I don’t teach them Thai, but when the other members ask how to say something. Taeyong is the one who says “sawadee krup pom chue taeyong krub” (hello my name is Taeyong) most often. The Thai that I teach them is mostly numbers. For example, when Taeyong came to Thailand, I taught him how to count numbers in Thai, how to order food and drinks. I try to teach words that are used in everyday life.

Do you have any other dreams you want to achieve?

In the future, if given the chance, I would want to draw a lot and open my own gallery using pictures that I drew and photos that I took and let people come see it. I’ve always liked drawing. I used to learn drawing but then I stopped. Currently, I’ve started taking lessons once again. I mostly like drawing black and white sketches. Although they may not be that pretty (smiles) , but each drawing reflects my thoughts at the time. Of the photos I’ve drawn, there are many that I like. I really like flowers and the photo that I like the most is one of a flower, a butterfly, and a bee. It has a lot of meaning in itself. I have yet to draw my group members (smiles).

What principles do you apply in work?

The thing that I think about all the time is if we want something, then we have to try, not wait for an opportunity to arise alone. We have to consider both because we will never know when an opportunity will arise. Therefore, the thing that is best for us is to practice our hardest to prepare.

Can you share your experiences on coming back to Thailand to pay respects to the late king?

I was in Korea when I saw news of the late king. At that time, I was shocked. My manager came up to me and asked if something was wrong, if I was okay. I then called my mom and told her I wanted to go back to Thailand, I wanted to bow to king rama 9. My mom also wanted me to come back, so we talked to SM, and they accepted our request. That day, I came to line up at 6AM with my mom, my sister and a staff. We signed our names and mourned. I felt sad, and kind of empty, like something was gone. That day we came to bow to the king, it felt like we came to show our respects to our father.

In what ways do you feel impressed by His Majesty?

I know that His Majesty did a lot for Thai citizens, but the thing that I’m most impressed by is the Royal Rainmaking Project, because farming is very important in Thailand and we have many farmers. His Majesty showed us that he truly loves and cares for Thai citizens.

Your birthday is coming up. If you could make 1 wish, what would you ask for this?

I wish that I would be able to do things that I want to do in the future, and for NCT to become more popular around the world. If the members want to do anything, I hope that it comes smoothly (smiles).

Lastly, do you have any words for Thai fans, the people that have always supported you?

Thank you for always keeping up with NCT and me. Thank you for always supporting us through every project and cheering us on. In the future, if NCT and I were to repay and thank all our fans, it will probably be through one of our projects. The reason we work hard and do more work is to produce good projects to give to our Thai fans.

Translation: Pomme @ FY! NCT (NCTINFO) | Source: DailyNews

Please take out with full credits.

[rkxsooyoung]

did you exchange a walk on part in the war                                 for a lead role in a c a g e ? ***

                                                       APRIL - - - EVALUATION # 11                                                           WISH YOU WERE HERE  ( original )

how i wish                 how i wish you were here

she’s still not a singer, not even after eleven months of arguably the hardest training she’s ever been put through, but sooyoung has always been honest about her feelings (has she? she’d like to say that nine out of ten times she was). she’s never liked ballads either, and slow dancing, she’s capable, assuredly, but it doesn’t convey what she wants it to.

      what does she want to say?

it’s nearing a year since pen was put to paper, and she signed her life to kt for two years. a lot has changed in just one of those, and in the midst of even a month, sooyoung isn’t sure where exactly she stands anymore. a year ago, there was tiffany beside her, pushing her to put the dedication into a career that she wasn’t sure she actually wanted (she did, but not as bad as others). the guilt still hangs heavy over her from the competition- never before had she thought herself to be the type to regret taking an opportunity like the mgas, but she does. 

she knows that she’s learned and grown not only as an artist, but as a person, though a better one than she was? she’s still not sure. the company has grown on her, that much is definite, and for someone that’s never been great at taking on ‘projects’ that last longer than perhaps a few weeks, it’s a grand accomplishment. and compared to the years of dedication that others have put in, she wonders how they do it. she understands why some consider joining royal’s show, why some disappear after training only to never return (she thinks of jongin, the one friend she had in the mgas that got offered a contract, and stayed, only to leave). is it as easy to leave as others have made it look? sooyoung considers it, but then remembers the friends that she has here now, and how much she has come to love kt, even on the worse days when it seems that everyone is ready to quit- no matter how long they’ve been here. 

she’s ready to quit- was ready to quit four months ago before she realized how eerily close a year's time was. was it a good or bad thing that a year had passed so quickly? she doesn't feel any different than she was all those months ago, but she knows that she is. is this how everyone else felt, watching time tick by and contracts expire and renew with nothing else to do but the same repetition day after day? now, after almost a year, she thinks she finally understands tiffany's first pep talk to their small little team at the beginning, when they placed so poorly- now she understands the other side of it, and maybe has never been more grateful for those very words. this is her last evaluation before the halfway point; on the precipice of deciding whether she can continue like this for the sake of people like jaebum and jimin, whose chances were obliterated, yet people who were more deserving, and the niche she had carved out for herself within the people of kt, or calling it quits and admitting to herself that she did get in over her head- that even though she loves training with taemin and taeyeon and tiffany and the whole of those who had welcomed her (and those that she did welcome too) into the company, she's not cut out for it. it's a hard place to think about being, and more often than not it seems more than easy to ignore, the inexplicable weight of pressure she was putting on herself. was she trying to redeem her mother's name in some twisted sort of sense, hoping that her success would overshadow her mother's failure?

she's still not a singer, but the song she wants to sing seems more than fitting; she's sung along to it at the top of her lungs and by herself several times, her favorite band and most likely (definitely) not the first kind of song that would come to the minds of the trainers. so she trains, and she rehearses, swapping sacred violin times for lessons in guitar, silently begging that she won't sound absolutely horrendous with such a stripped down song- different than anything she's done before, and certainly more raw. thankfully, it's not a performance- is that more or less pressure? criticisms that might be held back during performance evaluations could easily be said here.

practice, she's learned, doesn't make perfect. but it does make things better. and while it feels like everything she does lately is a shot in the dark, at least there is a small comfort in knowing that she has made it this far.

[acatwhowritesthings]

2017 end of the year writing meme

2014 || 2015 || 2016 || >>2017<<

number of fics written: 27 fics/exchange/event fics

total word count: ~113,945

CHRONOLOGICAL BREAKDOWN

03 (18,520w)

it would be better if we weren’t friends Jungkook-centric >> BTS ABO/Hybrid Challenge

Ignorance is the Reason of Fear J HopeSuga >> BTS ABO/Hybrid Challenge

Take My Breath Away Chanyeol/D.O. >> do-itall

(3) Mamamoo microfics Moonbyul/Solar >> 30-day "just kiss" event

04 (8,570w)

Country Manners, or Softer than a Summer's Night Sehun/Chen >> Peachenhun

05 (6,860w)

Peripeteia Suho-centric >> Suhoney

Love Me Right Baekhyun/Chen >> Baekbitfest

06 (2,140w)

We go together like rama lama lama ka dinga da dinga dong. Chanyeol/D.O. >> Chansoo Week

400 Meters Luhan/Xiumin >> Luminfics

08 (9,435w)

Into the Woods Chanyeol/Kai >> Puppies in Love

Man's Best Friend Kai/Kris >> Kairis Fest

09 (32,610w)

Good morning. (Good morning.) It's great to stay up late. Baekhyun/Sehun >> SeBaek Scum

There is no hunting like the hunting of man D.O./Kai >> Kaisoommer

The Dogs are Howling all Over the Neighborhood (That Ain't no Good) Baekhyun+Chen+D.O. >> Fantasy EXO

It's magic, you know. Kai/Taemin >> Kpop Ficmix

There Will Never Be Another You Chen/Sehun >> Chenpionships

Ruling Heart Baekhyun/Chanyeol >> GoldenExo Fest

10 (20,720w)

Like a Cat Baekhyun/Chen >> Girlexochange

The Easiest Thing in the World Chen/Suho >> Criical Capture

The Young Man and the Sea Chanyeol/D.O. >> EXO Mostly Human

Once in a Lifetime D.O./Kai >> Kaisoommer

Fling or Ring? Baekhyun/Chanyeol >> EXO Housewarming

12 (15,090w)

unrevealed fic fest submissions

IN SUMMARY

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in january? No surprises; I stick to what I know.

What's your own favorite story of the year? I really liked Country Manners and Fling or Ring?.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? I still just want to write more. If I can successfully produce a sequel to one of my stories, I'll consider it a successful writing year.

From my past year of writing, what was ... ?

My best story of this year: I think my best is probably Peripeteia

for the subject matter. Otherwise, Country Manners went pretty okay. The ending, like always, leaves a lot to be desired, but I enjoyed it until then.

My most popular story of this year: Fling or Ring? got the most kudos on AO3.

The story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: One of my unrevealed fics hasn't gotten a whole lot of response. I think it's actually pretty fun, but I know there are still those "fans" who are super anti former EXO members.

The most fun story to write: Fling or Ring? was most fun, I think. I love dad fics. Family fics. Kid fics. They're usually sweet [when I'm writing them] and incorporate things from my own life; it's always been fun to get my mom talking about early parenthood and how my dad was.

The story with the single sexiest moment: Love Me Right , because BaekChen were flirty and kissy in it. Jongdae also sat on a chaise in nothing but a towel, a kitten, and a smile. < ̫>

The most "holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story: I did not experience this at all this year, which I'm grateful for. I try to avoid that feeling.

The story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: I don't think there's been any. I don't characterize anyone too far out of the realm of the reality I perceive from videos and interviews and whatnot, so they're not OOC to me or anything.

The hardest story to write: I participated in EXOnaut, a sci-fi fic fest, and sci-fi is always hard for me. I dunno what it is, but I just always struggle. I don't think I did too bad with this one, keeping it more on the characters than their environment.

The biggest disappointment: I didn't finish anything that wasn't for a fest, exchange, or event. Nothing at all. I started a few, but if there's no deadline, it's like I can't produce.

The biggest surprise: I set up this Tumblr for my fics this year, and as I was searching online for mentions of my fics or writer handle, I found a fic rec list with mini reviews that included one of my BTS fics. It was sweet. I never expect comments, much less being recommended like that.

The most unintentionally telling story: Probably Peripeteia, which deals with family loss and having to adjust to it and the changes that come from it.

Favorite opening lines:

The sun rises to the cool embrace and soft kisses of the receding tide, leaving the shore wet and alive with burrowing oysters and scuttling crabs.

→The Young Man and the Sea

Jongin's used to the raging powers beneath his skin. Even as a child, he'd cross his arms over himself and clutch his shirt, just to keep his magic from breaking free of his body. In this little parlor, however, seated before a stranger barely older than he is, he thinks he feels calm for the first time in his life. Rather than screaming, his magic seems to be singing.

→It's magic, you know.

Honestly, the entire being of Park Chanyeol should be a huge nuisance to Kyungsoo.

→We go together like rama lama lama ka dinga da dinga dong.

If life can be likened to a road, Joonmyun wants to get off the pavement and sit in the grass. The hairpin turns and rolling hills and sudden bridge collapses are keeping him awake at night and wearing him down.

→Peripeteia

Sehun's summer-before-college plans are squashed and reorganised, courtesy of his mother. She presses a bus ticket into his hand--a physical, printed ticket; she didn't just email it to him--and wordlessly hovers as he packs a suitcase. He moves too slow, he supposes, because there's a thud as another suitcase is dropped on its side on his bedroom floor, and his mother starts emptying entire drawers.

→Country Manners, or Softer than a Summer's Night

Humans are born with only two innate fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud sounds. Everything else is learned.

→Ignorance is the Reason of Fear

5 favorite lines from anywhere:

“Morning, Seulshine.” His daughter grunts and drives her face into his kidneys, trying to block out all light and sleep on her feet. “Careful, baby bear; that end’s loaded.”

→Fling or Ring?

The ocean can’t be trusted. She—always she, and always affectionately—can turn cruel and torturous when mere minutes earlier she was tranquil and sedate or sending quick waves to collide with the rocks surrounding the lighthouse and spray entire exterior. Those playful times, Chanyeol finds her the most beautiful, when the spray hangs on the wind like gems that catch the sunlight to glisten so vibrantly he can almost hear her voice laughing, Look at me!

→The Young Man and the Sea

Joonmyun catches her elbow before she can leave. "Don't be rude. Chanyeol is your friend, too. Your salty ass jealousy can wait." "Fine, Mom," Baekhee hisses. "I'll just suffer in silence." "Good," Joonmyun hisses back and smiles at Chanyeol.

→Like a Cat

“Haven’t I taught you to duck?” She grabs his chin when he jerks away again. “Hold still, Sehun Oh, or so help me.” “I said I’m fine.” He gently grabs her wrists to plead mercy on his delicate face. “I don’t need a nurse. Just give me some Anacin and ice.” “I should give you another black eye for being so careless, but our business will take enough of a hit with you looking like a hoodlum.”

→There Will Never Be Another You

Once upon a time, back when Jongdae was in his "experimentation stage" of magic and his older brothers were already trying to ignore his existence, Jongdae had a shadow named Jongin. He may not have shown much magical talent, but he was interested and curious and followed Jongdae around like he was an authority on all things magic. Frankly, he was gullible. Jongdae used him as his magical guinea pig. There was one time when Jongdae flipped to a random page in one of the books his dad had inherited from some relative and found what he thought looked like a really easy potion. The text was really faded, though, and he still doesn't know what it was actually for. The title was all but gone from the page, and the drawing was old and just really bad. Like Middle Ages artists trying to paint cats bad. Jongdae followed the directions, substituting ingredients when he didn't know what was wanted, and handed it to Jongin. "I'm the wizard, so I can't drink it, or I won't know if it worked," he'd said. And Jongin drank it. And Jongin shrank down to a little green frog that could still cry and scream for his brothers. Minseok held Jongdae down while Joonmyun made him finish the rest of the potion, and then they took both sobbing frogs to their mom in separate jars when she finally came home.

→The Dogs are Howling all Over the Neighborhood (That Ain't no Good)

fic writing goals for 2018: Write more for myself. Branch out to other fandoms more, too.