#talking about genuine romance makes me want to die which is (as u can tell) something i am clearly projecting onto my s/is

[1kook]

card swiped (4)

→ jeon jungkook x (f) reader

→ “I’ve known Jungkook was a virgin since he first tried to tell me he wasn’t,” you tell him, arms crossed over your chest. “I’m pretty sure everyone knows.” GENRE romance (romcom?), eventual smut, teensy angst WARNING mentions of a hand job, talk of virginity OTHER college crushes, volleyball player!jk, student council president!oc, idiots to lovers, besties to lovers, childhood friends au RATING m (18+) bc brief sex ment WC 1.6k

NOTES (!) sorry for taking so long to update </3 school be kicking my ass. anyway here they are! an idiot couple. lmk what u think!!

[ masterlist ] 

In the past, whenever something had bothered you, the first person you ran to was Jungkook. Low grades, fights with your parents, boy drama— as your best friend and number one confidant, Jungkook was always your first choice. He was always willing to lend you a shoulder to cry on, even if that meant staining his white t-shirts with streaks of your mascara. He was always ready to go beat up a mean boy who had hurt your feelings during lunch, even if he’d miss his favorite special. And he was always down for some good old fashion i hate my parents ranting, even if he adored your parents. He was a great listener, an even better best friend, and had rightfully won you over from a very young age. 

That being said, how were you supposed to talk to Jungkook about something that bothered you when that something was him? 

You could easily tell any of your numerous girl friends, those of which would probably understand your predicament better than Jungkook or any man ever could. But after years of vehemently denying any notion of a romantic relationship between the two of you, you get the feeling your call for help will be met with more unimpressed glares than actual assistance. Besides, as much as you bring up Jungkook, none of them really know Jungkook to truly offer you any worthwhile advice. 

Your next option: Kim Taehyung. Now, Kim Taehyung held a similar background as Jungkook (translation: he also went to the same high school as you). He knows both you and Jungkook—frankly, more than you’d like him to—so he would be able to dissect the issue easily and offer trustworthy advice. The problem with Kim Taehyung, however, is that aside from knowing you at your embarrassingly dorky teenage prime, he doesn’t know how to keep a secret. Anything he knows, Jungkook knows. So if you were to, hypothetically, ask Taehyung for advice on Jungkook, well. Chances are, you’d probably get a rather confused text from Jungkook two minutes later. 

Which leaves you with one option— Park Jimin. There’s a reason Park Jimin isn’t your first option, and that reason presents itself now as you glare at him from across the empty room. For as long as you’ve been in university, Jimin has always lingered around the student council meetings, giving everyone he sees the prettiest, meanest stink-eye. You suspect it’s because he waits around for Min Yoongi, your Vice President (which isn’t an issue; Jungkook also frequents student council meetings while waiting for you), and doesn’t really care for anyone else. Your problem with Jimin doesn’t lie there but rather with the fact he’s adamant on taking up space and not lending so much as a finger to help. 

Today he is sitting with his feet on the table, dirty volleyball bag tossed on the floor. He’s watched you for the last fifteen minutes wrestle with the broken copy machine and hasn’t said a word since. He pretends he doesn’t see you struggling, because if he does, he’d be obligated to help you. 

To summarize, Park Jimin may be the fastest libero your university’s volleyball team has seen in years, but he’s a good-for-nothing bum everywhere else. 

And despite all that, he’s your best choice. There’s no one quite as blunt and honest as Park Jimin. There’s no one in this world who truly doesn’t care enough about anyone’s problems to gossip about them as Park Jimin. You plop down beside him, rumpled papers in hand. Without warning, you jump straight into it. “Jungkook is going to take my virginity,” you announce, like it’s the most casual thing in the world. If any of your fellow student council members heard you, you’re certain you’d shrivel up and die. 

Jimin hums. “That’s nice.” His eyes don’t leave his phone, thumb hovering over his screen. It’s a testament to how much he truly does not care. His extended silence plants a seed of doubt in you— was this the right person to tell? you begin to worry. But after a beat, Jimin’s thumb taps against his screen and he says, “Jungkook is a virgin.” 

You clench your jaw. “I know.” 

The thing about Jimin is, with the right wording, you can get him interested in something. Not interested enough to genuinely care, but interested enough to at least listen and offer his own piece of straightforward advice. His thumb comes to a standstill over his phone, eyes momentarily going blank. It’s a minute gesture, one that’s taken you four years of paying attention to catch. Just as quickly as it appears, it’s gone. “Really,” Jimin sighs, back to, you now realize, playing CandyCrush on his phone. “You’re gonna let a virgin take your virginity.”

Not a question, but you nod anyway. “Yup.” 

There’s sweat building on the back of your neck, nerves at an all time high, but you’re trying to play it off. Just a little bit more and you know you’ll have caught him. Beside you, Jimin’s jaw twitches. 

Finally, after what seems like an eternity of trying to act calm, Jimin clicks his phone off and turns to you. He’s as intimidating as ever, ash blonde hair pushed back today to reveal his forehead and dark eyes. “You’ve known Jungkook was a virgin this whole time?” he asks, has this calculating look in his eyes that makes you feel like you’re being questioned by an officer of the law and not the shortest person on the volleyball team. 

With a practiced air of nonchalance, you shrug. “I have,” you confess, and it’s the truth. 

While you may have been initially fooled that night two years ago, you weren’t that oblivious. Oh, you knew clear as day that Jeon Jungkook was still a virgin, just as well as you knew that he religiously washed his sheets every weekend or that he had a specific color coded system for his underwear drawer. Jungkook was a fool to try and lie to you, not only because you had found out, but because you had found out that very next morning. 

It had been subtle. The night at the party, you had watched on with a throbbing heartache as some pretty girl led Jungkook up a set of stairs, had barely fought off a wave of emotion when he returned twenty minutes later, his hair a rumpled mess. “Did you… ?” you had mumbled, pressed closely against him by the back door. Your eyes had been glassy, from your emotions and from the drunken stupor you had gotten yourself into while he was away, wondering what he was doing. A sense of jealousy you would never admit to had curled around your heart. His hand had landed on your hip then. He smelled like flowers and vanilla, a smell unlike his own. Your heart clenched, hand mindlessly reaching up to cup his jaw, so drunk and heartbroken, you couldn’t stop yourself from trailing your fingers along his pretty cheekbones. 

Jungkook had graced you with a simple nod, and then, “do you wanna leave now?” 

You’d left, stumbling down Greek road on your way back to his dorm. Jungkook had held your hand the whole way, tucked you into his twin bed, and then promptly knocked out on the floor between his and Taehyung’s beds. The latter was nowhere to be found, wouldn’t appear until the next morning when he’d accidentally step on Jungkook’s ankle and wake both of you up. 

Jungkook had yelped, and your eyes had fluttered open. You remember debating rolling over, checking on him like you wanted to, but Taehyung was already there doing just that. So you had laid still instead, listened as the two boys clattered around the room. They chatted mindlessly, about the party and tomorrow’s practice. Taehyung had been bragging about some girl he’d slept with last night. “What about you?” he had asked, and your breath caught in your throat. “Did you and…”—a pause, the distinct ruffle of fabric—“finally?” 

“What— no,” Jungkook had said, and you felt the bed dip as he sat down on the edge beside you.

Taehyung pushed on with a snort. “Well, did you get lucky at all?”

Jungkook groaned, placed one warm hand on your back soothingly. You tried your best to level out your breathing, relaxed your facial expression as you clung to the sound of his voice. “Just a handjob. Some girl I didn’t even know. Does that count?” You could hear your heartbeat in your ears, felt it beneath your fingertips when you fisted the sheets. 

And that curt admission sat in the back of your mind everyday for two years. 

You turn to Jimin. “I’ve known Jungkook was a virgin since he first tried to tell me he wasn’t,” you tell him, arms crossed over your chest. “I’m pretty sure everyone knows.”

Jimin lets out a low whistle. “You’re smarter than I thought,” he grins, this conniving little smile that is a genuine cause for concern. “So you’re letting him think you don’t know?” You nod. Jimin’s smile grows. “My, my. If I had known you were this evil, maybe we would’ve hung out more.” 

You roll your eyes. “I’m not evil,” you insist, flicking him on the nose. Jimin huffs indignantly. “I think what he’s doing is sweet…” you confess, feel your entire body heat up as you recall that wide-eyed look Jungkook had given you just yesterday afternoon, your kiss print fresh on his cheek. “And, well,” you look down at your shoes. “I used to dream about him being my first.” 

Jimin groans. “You two make me sick.”

Copyright © 2021, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[skunked-up-kicks]

Omg... same... I don't remember my first reaction to that kevin-andrew staring line, but like for example, it took me a while to get why Nicky warned Neil not to look too much at Kevin. And when people interpret things sexually/romantically in the fandom I'm definitely surprised, like the cigarette pack in Andrew's back pocket turned into staring at his ass etc. I did find stuff like Andrew brushing Neil's back more telling, but I didn't read every moment from a sexual attraction lense u know

I don't know if my last ask made sense but basically same sometimes im like "oh you guys think this line is about attraction. ok. i didn't know that" i feel like i learnt to see the romance/attraction in most of it bc i remember i felt like neil for the longest time -- i didn't see the signs of 'attraction' a lot of the time, though i did see more blatant flirting

lil disclaimer thingy: i understand everyone reads book differently and is coming from different perspectives, and i'm not intending to shame anyone or anything, just wanna talk about my experience reading aftg.

so, if i'm being honest... i do genuinely find it so baffling that people read certain scenes (mainly book 1 scenes) as sexual. like you mentioned the infamous 'neil sussed the twins out by which one had a cigarette packet in their back pocket' scene that people have turned into 'neil was ogling andrew's ass'. which.. neil is a respectful king and would never, okay? i hate when ppl make him into a fucking creep :// but also it's a good example of an early moment in the series that showed how observant and clever neil could be so it also makes me sad that the moment got stripped of that in favour of it being sexual :(

anyway, besides sexual clearly not being how it's intended to be read, it's also weird to me because like... my mind was not at all in the place to be reading scenes as sexual when i first read that scene.

we've just been introduced to neil not that long ago, and he's been presented to us as a traumatized teenager who's been squatting in his highschool's gym locker room, seems to have a nicotine addiction, is really anxious, has seen his mum die, and i'm also pretty sure there's lines about how lonely neil is and about how much he's grieving his mum. not that long before the cigarette-in-back-pocket scene doesn't neil have a moment at the window where he thinks "one of us has to make it mum"??

what i'm very poorly trying to explain is that, at least when i first read the books, i was really attached to neil early on and more importantly i was really protective of him. cause he's a child really... and a very hurt and distressed one at that, who's in a new and clearly unsafe environment. andrew's group is not presented in a good light early on, so i was rightfully suspicious and untrusting of them. how people can be given a character like neil in a situation like that and be playing matchmaker almost immediately is... yeah.

like... my mind wasn't in the place to be going "oooo neil thinks one of them has a nice ass!!🥴🥴"... LIKE? the scenes before certainly aren't set up in a way that's leading you down that train of thought...

it's the same as the scene where neil puts andrew's hand under his shirt, people talked about seeing that as sexual too. but andrew's been raped literally like 2 or 3 pages ago??? when i read those kinds of posts i can't help but think "how is this what's on your guys minds right now??..."

plus, when people say they saw these moments as sexual attraction they are often also implying they were thinking "maybe they'll get together". which is why i mentioned that i didn't trust andrew's group, cause i assumed everyone else felt the same, so i also assumed that like me they wouldn't be thinking of neil possibly getting with any of them... cause if you don't think they're trustworthy... why would you? i just wanted to protect neil from them ngl :') the only other character i liked at the time besides neil was wymack cause he actually showed that he cared about neil's wellbeing.

even that scene where andrew runs his fingers also neil's back, i honestly thought andrew was trying to intimidate neil... cause i didn't fucking like or trust andrew! he had non-con drugged not that long ago and i was still pissed at him and his group at the time. plus, andrew had used touching neil as a way to try and intimidate him before that so. even if i had picked up on the fact that andrew was attracted to neil from that during my first read, i wouldn't have thought they'd be getting together, or even wanted them too lol.

also because, aside from what i've said, there was also the fact neil told us he didn't swing... some scenes happened before that but most that people talk about happened after. if i'm reading a book and i'm having moments where i'm thinking maybe someone is attracted to the main character it's because i assume something might actually happen!

but i believed neil was aro/ace and so i wasn't looking for moments of neil being attracted to people, or moments of others being attracted to him. i never really bothered trying to read between the lines, it never even crossed my mind for so long... cause i had already set my mind on "neil won't end up with anyone". i only remembering it occurring to me at the "doesn't mean i wouldn't blow you" scene.

and honestly, when that happened i remember thinking something like "andrew's gonna end up getting rejected". idk? i never doubted neil was aspec, i started off thinking he was aro/ace like i said but i never went "oh he's gay", i just went "oh so he's not aro/ace but he's somewhere on the spectrum of being asexual".

and also tbh... i liked that neil never thought of things sexually. it was nice :'( and seeing his own thoughts and actions getting interpreted in that way, especially after we should have been under the assumption he wasn't interested in things like that... it rubs me the wrong way.

(i know aro/ace ppl can have relationships and/or have sex, but the way neil presented his sexuality and acted when hit on. to me, it made it seem like he was completely uninterested in either)

i can understand going back through the book after reading for the first time and being like "oh andrew's actions or words here might have been partially motivated by his attraction to neil at the time!", but through the first read? and for neil?? it's weird to me...

this is quite long so sorry bout that lol, i think i'll leave it here. it's nice to see someone else feel a similar way anyway ;^;

again, i don't think it's wrong if people read it differently. it just confuses me cause it's so different from my experience reading it and what i would expect it to be like for others

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, eps 1-5 thoughts! opening the new season with episodes like these kinda blew me away. we had multiple serious episodes INCLUDING a two parter!! also, valerie :)

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-I don't know what I expected s2 to open with. but danny portal incident in more detail was not it. (also, I hate to break it to you, sam, but danny's parent's bigass ghost hunting rv def chugs more gas than those vehicles, lmao. unless it runs on ectoplasm or something...)

-WHY WAS DESIREE IN THE SEWER? HAVING TEA WITH IT DOWN THERE?? Her making the giant cow come alive is a boss move, we've almost had all of my fav animals as ghosts now <3 I also don't like how sam was expecting danny to just, haunt the place so the cars wouldn't get sold? I KNOWWW I know she's 14 (and I had a very annoying phase like this, I think I mentioned in a previous post, I GET IT) but they're HIS powers, and messing with (1) dealership will not really put a dent in sales overall because they can just move the cars to another sales lot, and it certainly wont change the industry anyway, it's more of a minor annoyance for (1) location. Also, usually people who work at car sales places work on commission, so if they dont make a sale, they don't have money to pay bills, or eat. sam baby if u wanna be an activist you need to like, actually look into these things. with as much money as her parents have, she could be doing a lot..more useful things for causes she cares about? it's frustrating to see someone with resources who doesn't know how to use them. but shes 14 so again. cannot be really upset :/

-IS THIS A PREDATOR VS TERMINATOR VS FREDDY KRUEGER MOVIE BUT THEYRE ALL WOMEN?? you know, sam is so right to be excited about this. /I/ want to see this movie. that rules

-paulina inviting danny and friends to her quinceañera, aw! even if it is just to get phantom to show up :') and there'll be a meteor shower, and we KNOW danny wants to be an astronaut!! there's not a meteor shower every night!! the tickets are non-refundable, but..she's rich? like. gotta agree with danny, they never get invited!! I KNOW it's the principle of keeping promises, but if she was that upset, she should've said something. directly. I hated how she was like, passive aggressive about it through the episode, like you SAID IT WAS FINE, THAT YOU'D GO TO THE PARTY TOO. MOVIES SHOW FOR A FEW WEEKS IN THEATERS. IF YOU HAD A REAL PROBLEM YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. WE'VE HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE, SAM. YOUR FRIENDS. ARE NOT. MIND READERS.

-MR. LANCER GOING AFTER THE GHOST WITH THE FIRE EXTINGISHER LMAO

-this outfit is everything . anytime the show does an over the top cutesty pink outfit i WANT IT. it looks like shit I wear JKASDHF I HAVE a bow like that and a pink sweater. I need leg warmers </3

-SAMS GOTTA RE-HALF-KILL HIM??? thats fucked up. but also, he finally got his logo!! it took until s2!!! this episode was lowkey very fucked and I felt like it glossed over a lot. does sam have guilt about like. kinda KILLING HIM?? I know, he also agreed and walked into the portal. but. she made the choice to redo it SO quickly (even if it was because someone had to beat desiree) and danny, during their fight, brought up a lot of stuff sam's done in the past, meaning he was holding onto those memories and resentment was building. (I KEEP SAYING HE LOWKEY NEEDS THERAPY, BUT I THINK MOST EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW KINDA DOES) which...is a red flag? and then they didnt even GO to the party URGH I know she tried to make up for it, but it really felt like Sam fucked up and barely faced any consequences and got everything she wanted in the end. I KNOW it's a kids show obv they aren't going to go too in depth, and she undid the damage, kinda, but...I DUNNO how to articulate it but it rubbed me the wrong way.

-but on a note about desiree, her powers of wishes were STRONG ENOUGH TO ERASE NOT JUST THEIR MEMORIES, BUT DANNY'S POWERS?! fuck, if I was danny I'd be like, trying to make friends with her. I know they always have horrible side effects as most genie-granted wishes do, but...c'mon, I'd at least TRY to be like 'I wish no ghosts would hurt anyone in my town' or 'I wish vlad would lose his ghost powers forever no matter What and also forget about my mom' LIKE. SHIT DESIREE IS SO POWERFUL. rewriting reality powerful, basically!! appreciate her. respect her.

-aww, sam helping tucker pass the nurse's office so he wouldn't see because he's afraid of medical stuff? very sweet. I also don't like medical stuff, I've gotten a lot better at handling it tho. but seeing blood and needles still makes me feel lightheaded x_x

-FOLEY, BY TUCKER FOLEY. I want to make my own perfume, that's so cool. even if his first attempt isn't good, he's pretty consistently shown to have an inventor/entrepreneur streak in the show, so like. I can see him inventing or making something (or several somethings) that make him $$$ when he grows up :) proud of my creative son

-I know the 'creepy abandoned hospital on the edge of town' is a joke and the creepy hospital trope is so Worn Out, but in my town we actually DO have a hospital like that! my dad was born in it, but its not in use and hasn't been for, like, 20 years! it needs to be torn down but I think the city doesn't wanna pay the money. the inside is horrible, spray painted and broken glass and shit everywhere. but there's still like, rusty equipment and fucking DOLLS all over the place. the cops drive by it pretty frequently to make sure no one is like, breaking in. (because of water damage, some of the areas really aren't safe. also, asbestos, but people still go in anyway) but also, some of my town was used in a filming for a stephen king show. So it's lowkey spooky all over. just a fun personal tidbit :) to lead into saying, any hospital abandoned for any period of time is NOT safe to quarantine these kids in JKSAHDKF like I KNOW it's a ghost trying to do this, but NONE of these parents are even like, 'well, why dont we keep them in the regular, working hospital'....YIKES. this hospital looks pretty accurate to the one in town. grungy and spooky.

-fentons are tax evaders confirmed by jack's fear of being audited, lol no one is surprised

-ghost sickness via ghost bugs. horrifying concept. I actually expected it to be a new villain, not dr. spectra again! this is a very elaborate scheme. her new form rules, love the new costume. the way none of the bg kids seem to recognize her as their old school councilor. did we just forget about that completely?

-dash watching romance movies in the fucked up ghost hospital. same.

-'oh please, you're ghosts, do you have any idea what YOU smell like?' no, tucker, what DO ghosts smell like? I genuinely didn't know they would even have a smell, I actually want to know now.

-it feels like a while since we've seen jazz!! i was happy to see her again, even if she was a head in a jar for most the episode. I want another jazz-focused ep!!

-we finally see danny doing space-related stuff!! him and his friends stargazing to open ep 3 of s2. cute :) until, GHOST PIRATES!!!!! ...ghost pirate captain is a small child?? VOICED BY TAYLOR LAUTNER???

-oh, the easy listening is ember's song instrumental slowed. 'vapor drone' THEY VAPORWAVED HER!!! ember in a pirate outfit tho >>>>. and the cruise being called m.bersback JKASDHJK. ember adopting a little pirate brother is also pretty cute. concerning this teen and little kid have such bad opinions of adults, like, who hurt you?? (how did you DIE ALSO?? im always lowkey curious about that. we know desiree died at an old age, but her ghost form is young, probably mid-20s, so I wonder how that sort of thing works...its a more mental thing, isn't it?) but ghost team-ups are always cool to see, even if ember bailed after danny took her guitar. I guess she probably thinks youngblood can handle it (which, he's been owning danny this far in the ep, so...fair)

-tucker got that sponsorship from nasty burger for their radio!!! again, opportunistic money maker king, love to see it!!!

-danny taking control of the kids SO FAST. he makes a pretty great leader. no one is surprised, im pretty sure I said I think he's the most mature of the trio, once again, correct, because he's taken on so much responsibility already. all the teens suiting up in the jumpsuits to go save the adults and taking the ship over with a BLIMP. OKAY LETS GO. this feels like it should be a mid finale or straight up finale.

-...speaking of finales. why is ep 4-5 of s2 combined into a 50 minute episode? I havent even clicked play and im concerned. weird placement, like, this season JUST started and we're getting a two parter? okay...why are the episodes placed like this? why not put this at episode 10 or something, for a mid-season thing?

-this is also a cute dress. possibly my fav dress so far. can her parents give ME cute dresses, I'LL wear them.

-it turns out the castle fright knight was in is called pariah's keep and there's something worse than fright knight in there! lovely! fuck off vlad wtf are you doing <3 your hubris <3 is going to literally get you killed <3 'ring of rage' and 'crown of fire' are great names tho. ...vlad turning into a super polite guy when he was scared of mr. pariah was hilarious. and fright knight doing the same...I mean, it makes sense, he's a knight, he serves a king? happy to see fright knight again either way :) vlad telling him to call him tho, lmfao. you WISH HE WOULD. (I wish hed call me, too. 😔)

-so...jack being genuinely concerned about vlad...maddie really didn't tell him what happened at the cabin, did she. damn. if I was her id immediately come home and be like 'YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS SHITTTT THIS CREEPY GUY--' like, I feel like that stuff you need to tell your partner!!! I know she didnt want Jack to think she was an irresponsible parent putting danny in danger at that time, but STILLLL. maddie spilling boiling tea on him. get his ass. how is jack this oblivious to his wife's discomfort with vlad!! ughhh

-fenton wipe (tm). trademarked toilet paper.

-DANNY AND VALERIE BEING FRIENDS??? :D that was a cute moment. 'hey val <3' and 'if you like him like him, make a move, or someone else will ;)' at sam...damn!! I love her. valerie go for it girl!!! I hate how sam and tucker treat val also, like I GET IT YOURE PROTECTIVE AND DONT TRUST but if anything him befriending valerie will help when she finds out or he tells her like I feel like she'll be more understanding that they think! ALSO I feel like her reason for not liking ghosts is valid, like you haven't really explained the full story to her anyway! she doesn't seem to have any other friends after being booted from the a-listers so im like :( but seeing them kick butt together again was nice <3

-the ghosts all RUNNING FROM PARIAH DARK IS NOT GOOD, I thought he sent them to attack or something, but no. why doesn't someone just tell desiree 'hey i wish pariah dark would die' lol. once again I think she can solve every problem <3 but seeing all the enemies in one place, being civil and hiding together? love it.

-you just know danny's gonna have to clean up vlad's stupid mess. also, jack being willing to put on the ectoskeleton pants to help maddie, as soon as vlad heard it could kill him, he suggested jack do it instead of helping maddie himself? this is why jack got the girl, my man.

-ghost skeletons. how do you end up as a skeleton ghost in your afterlife instead of a humanoid like most the ones we've seen? lmao

-the ghosts just making new homes in various stores. I'd totally be setting up in an expensive clothing store if I was a ghost.

-valerie's dad is possibly the most useful adult so far, with that ghost shield expansion!!! and valerie saving vlad and danny, even tho shes been thru it already, shes still so good!!! this family rules.

-danny: *gently caresses valerie* :)

-*then he immediately TELLS HER DAD ON HER. and his first response is 'are you okay?' :'( such a good dad...

-*me every time fright knight breathes* youre doing SO great sweetie :)

-the fenton suit thing is so silly looking. does anyone take this thing seriously

-ALL THE GHOSTS FIGHTING WITH DANNY <3 AAAAA. and the fact that pariah isn't perma-defeated, but just locked away again. yikes. he'll probably get out again, won't he? it wasn't too clear, but if vlad DID make a pact with fright knight, I am rabid. I will beat vlad to death with the fenton bat (tm). YOU DONT DESERVE A COOL KNIGHT.

-valerie being direct with sam and challenging her? kinda love that, even tho I normally don't like 'catfight' type situations. because sam has been very passive aggressive about it which is annoying. valerie knows wtf she wants and wasn't even embarrassed to tell sam, but she did tell her, giving sam time to make her own move! and sam denied it and got embarrassed/mad! and sam did have a chance when danny was about to go off and fight, and she hesitated and didn't tell him. I feel like she's hesitating because they're friends and it might make it weird between the trio (poor tucker would be third-wheeling) but if u snooze u lose, u gotta GO after what u WANT girl. smh this is a No Tsundere Zone. 😤

[aliferous-ly]

I've never really asked for a drabble before... If it's okay with you, could you do 7 "I almost lost you" and 32 "I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified" with Logan and Deceit? I just kinda thought that it had the potential to make some angst with a happy ending. Oh and I only found you recently, but I love the writing that I've seen so far. I always love finding amazing writers. (I'm sorry, I'm a total suck up)

im gonna start this with if you’re on mobile, i am So Sorry

i started this and was like “ha im getting a little carried away” and then went “oh no” 

and thank u dear!! that’s v sweet of u awe 

summary: Declan is a loud and proud aromantic. Then he realizes why he feels weird, and off, and awkward around his best friend, Logan, and his world starts to crumble. 

warnings: f word twice, lying, parent being imprisoned, angst, questioning identity, if there’s anything else lmk!!

It starts, Declan thinks, when Logan smiles. 

The situation starts out innocuous -- they’re sitting in Logan’s room, Declan tossing a tennis ball up and catching it unsuccessfully, making a right disaster of Logan’s room with all the objects he keeps knocking to the floor. Logan, naturally, continues doing his homework. 

And they’re just -- talking. 

Declan likes to think his world should shift on a more momentous occasion, maybe with fireworks, fingers brushing against one another dramatically, Jason Mraz playing in the background. 

But it’s the smallest thing. Declan throws the tennis ball up in the middle of his sentence -- “You can’t tell me you hate white pines, they have the softest needles” -- and he misses it on the way down. 

So he takes a tennis ball to the face and sits up, sputtering, rubbing at his nose, arm reaching out to snatch it before it rolls too far. 

Logan chokes out a laugh, eyes squinty and wrinkled at the edges. His laugh fills the room for a few thrilling moments and Declan thinks it’s the most beautiful sound in the world and he can’t stop staring at Logan’s engaging face, in the upturn of his lips and dimples carved in his cheeks. 

He’s radiant. 

Declan’s heart squeezes, lungs filling with something heavier than air, a foreign feeling washing through his veins. Like rose petals or sunlight. Woodsmoke or freshly fallen snow. 

The gears in his chest shift and settle and he feels… right. More right than he’s ever been. 

Which is, of course, why fear swiftly follows this gorgeous wash of emotions, because this is unusual and anything unusual is often bad. 

Declan forces down the incoming wave of anxiety, schooling his expression into one of smooth disdain. 

Just in time, too, because Logan opens his mouth and says, “It was only a matter of time until you paid for your crimes.”

“I’m too pretty to die,” Declan replies, thanking the heavens that while his brain may be steadily turning into mush (have Logan’s eyes always been that striking? Or his shoulders that broad?) his tongue still works. 

“Implying Death themself has a type, intriguing,” Logan says. He flashes a look over his computer, the after effects of joy still written on his features. “Bold of you to declare what Death likes.” 

Declan tries for a smirk but can feel the way his mouth turns to genuine grin, the traitor. “Aw, Logie, are you saying I’m not everyone’s type?” 

“That would be rather ironic, wouldn’t it?” Logan says wryly. He types away at his computer, dutiously finishing an English assignment that Declan is currently ignoring for bigger and better things. “The aromantic everyone pines over.” 

That strikes an odd chord in Declan’s chest, like he’s a half-tone off; not quite wrong, but not quite right, either. His expression must change, because Logan pauses in his typing. He blinks at Declan. “Something wrong?” 

Of course, that’s when Declan’s brain decides that those words are simply too much, too much, his shoulders tightening, back tensing. It’s like his rib cage is squeezing his vital organs, which seems rather counterintuitive. He hates this unknown, this awkward buzz against his skin, the prickling feeling through his bones. 

The resounding crash of everything happening all at once is overwhelming and Declan can’t seem to decide whether to sit as still as humanly possible or bolt. 

Or, of course, do what he does best. 

Lie. 

“I forgot to do something for my mom,” Declan says, barely registering the words before they fall from his lips. He hasn’t lied to Logan in a very, very long time (he knows it’s because they have been best friends for ages, but his mind twists it into something of a foreshadow, even though it’s not, it’s not) and the resurgence of his bad habits leaves a nasty taste in his mouth, but. Desperate times. Desperate measures. 

“Oh,” Logan says, disappointed, and Declan longs to explain -- what? 

He angrily shoves the emotions deep into his chest. If he can’t explain them, he’s not going to give them the right of control over his actions. 

(He ignores the prevalent fact that he has just lied to his best friend in order to escape his presence, but denial, evidently, is not just a river in Egypt). 

“Sorry,” Declan spits out, meaning so much more than it seems. He stands, grabs his backpack, shoving papers and folders into it haphazardly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“See you tomorrow,” Logan calls out hollowly. Declan takes that as his leave and he slips out Logan’s bedroom door, backpack in tow, keys clicking in his pocket. 

Something deep inside him aches. But he doesn’t know why. 

Frustrated, Declan gets into his car and slams the door shut, fingers white-knuckled against the steering wheel. He takes a breath. He’s fine, he’s fine. He’s probably just sick, or something. 

Or something. 

Not for the first time, Declan longs for a working aux connection. 

Because flicking through radio stations does not help. 

Lewis Capaldi croons Someone you loved on one, Sam Smith singing Dancing with a Stranger. He woefully flips through two channels on commercial break, groaning when the last one has Adele, which, really?

He remembers Virgil’s favorite station, and turns up the volume to forty, My Chemical Romance’s Mama screaming from his speakers. He pulls into his driveway with Hallelujah by Panic! at the Disco blowing his ears out when he remembers that Logan once spent hours rambling about Brenden Urie and a conspiracy about curses and he slams his palms on his steering wheel, furious. 

Can he not escape Logan for a moment? 

As Declan slams the car door shut, throwing his backpack over his shoulders, and freezes at the sight of the stupid Beware, dog sign that Logan had vandelized to read Beware, snake, he realizes that no, he really can’t. Because Logan is his best friend, his favorite person, and his life is irreversibly intertwined with Logan unless he up and leaves with absolutely nothing, starting from scratch. Which would be worse than death. 

He trudges up the stairs like a funeral dirge and when his door shuts with a click he leans against it, steadily sliding down until his knees almost touch his chin. 

“Fuck,” Declan says out loud, unable to keep the emotion termoil inside like it should be. 

His phone buzzes where it fell from his hands, angry against the carpet. Declan sighs. Rubs a hand down his face. And picks up the phone. 

There’s one text from Logan that reads, “are you okay? I’m not irritated but you left rather…” 

Well. The beginning reads as such. Declan assumes there’s more, but he’s unwilling to open it for the time being. 

Then he has three from Virgil, two of which reference an obscure meme video and the third which reads “r u home i wanna play dark souls on ur ps4”. 

And there’s a text from Patton asking if he wants normal chocolate chips or mint ones, and a followup that proclaims “never mind i got both! :3c”. 

He sends a quick “no” back to Virgil and merely opens the texts from Patton, leaving only Logan’s unopened. I’m not irritated but you left rather… suddenly? 

A strange emotion flutters about Declan’s chest and he groans. He doesn’t feel this way about his other friends, not even Virgil, who he’s known for ages and has gone through four too many devastating arguments to not be close with. Nor does he feel like this with Patton, his brother. Those bonds are, he’s certain, platonic--

Declan lurches forwards with a gasp, the realization bowling him over and leaving him breathless. He curls his fingers into the carpet, focusing on the texture instead of the immediate swirl of panic. 

He -- does he have a crush on Logan? Him, Declan, the aromantic king, who once boasted the world could never produce a human Declan could fall in love with?

And it doesn’t track with him falling for Logan either because Declan would have loved him months earlier, suddenly falling in love with someone he’s loved platonically… it just doesn’t make sense. Declan can’t wrap his mind around it. 

Maybe he’s just reading the emotions wrong. How can he -- what can he do that -- which -- 

What would Logan do? 

An experiment, Declan’s mind supplies helpfully, so, well. Declan pressed his back against the wood of his door and thinks. 

Hypothesis: he’s in love with Logan. 

In love? A very rational part of his brain yells. You were talking about a crush before!

So Declan thinks, and revises. Hypothesis: he’s feeling romantic attraction to Logan. 

Then he takes a few minutes trying to remember the following step in the scientific method and ends up looking it up on his phone, and it’s really long so he’s just going to cut some corners. 

Procedure: 

Well, Declan can’t think of any way to do this physically without making an entire fool of himself, so he changes the experiment into a thought experiment. 

Procedure: Consider emotions of other relationships and compare to feelings for Logan. 

Okay. Declan settles. He considers. He tries to imagine holding hands with Virgil and giving him flowers, but he can’t really picture giving Logan flowers either, so if it’s weird for both -- but he wants to hold Logan’s hand, not Virgil’s, and sometimes Patton’s, and Patton is his brother, he knows for sure his emotions are strictly platonic. So if Patton is the control group, the certainty of platonic emotions, Virgil is the one with normal emotions, and Logan has some weird emotions, so if Virgil and Logan’s are merely two different shades of friendship then Declan will know. 

Declan closes his eyes and imagines kissing Logan, because that’s what romantic partners do, right? He imagines stepping closer to him until there’s inches of space between them.. Declan thinks about leaning in, brushing lips before pressing in, heat curling in his chest and oh god, oh god Declan’s face is on fire. 

His eyes shoot open and he can only imagine how panicked he must look right now. He presses his hand against his chest, taking deep breaths. Then, reluctantly, he thinks about kissing Virgil -- nope, nope, eugh he physically shakes his head, gut rolling uncomfortably. 

So that is a big contender for Declan has romantic feelings for Logan. 

He sighs and clunks his head against the door. This sucks. Declan hates feelings. 

The door downstairs sounds, opening and closing, followed by a resounding, “HEY, CICI, LOVE YOU!” 

Dee sighs, a smile flickering across his face. He pushes to his feet and exits his room, wandering downstairs, aloof. 

“Hey Pat,” he says, leaning against a wall. 

“Ci, I’m making lots of cookies!” Patton declares, beaming at him, and Declan’s heart drops. 

His expression must, too, because Patton’s features are suddenly painted in concern. “What’s wrong?” 

“I should be asking you that,” Declan says, and he feels bad, unexpectedly, for not replying to Patton’s text earlier. “Lots of cookies? With mint and chocolate chips? Enough to feed an army?” 

Patton’s arms wilt and Declan reads the tremor in his shoulders, the glisten of his eyes. Patton tries for a smile and misses by a mile. 

Declan crosses to where Patton stands in five steps, wrapping his arms around his smaller brother, pressing his cheek against Patton’s head. “What’s wrong?” 

Patton takes a shuddering breath, returning the hug. “Nothing, really. I’m glad you’re home.” 

“Ah,” Declan says. He tightens his grip on Patton. “Do you want help?” 

“No.” Patton presses his face into Declan’s chest. He’s shaking, ever so slightly. “Can you talk with me at the counter, though?” 

“Of course,” Declan agrees, mentally side-tabling his emotional turmoil. 

“Okay,” Patton says. He’s quiet for a few more moments, then says, “And Steven Universe later?” 

“Anything,” Declan says. He makes a face. The word had slipped out unbidden, but Patton doesn’t tease him for it. 

“Alright.” Patton pulls away, takes a breath. “I’m about to make the best damn cookies the world has ever seen.” 

“Damn straight,” Declan says, grinning. Patton pauses for just one moment more before moving to the kitchen, dropping various ingredients onto the counter and moving smoothly to gather more. 

Declan wonders at his influence on Patton’s vulgar mouth, then shrugs. Patton’s a teenager. He can do what he wants. 

“Weren’t you hanging out with Logan?” Patton asks conversationally. He’s pulling down bowls and sugar, obviously expecting easy small talk. And normally Logan is easy for Declan to talk about. He talks about him all the time.  

So when Declan winces, Patton turns and addresses him with full attention, brows furrowed. “What? What happened?” 

“I…” Declan considers for a moment to just lie about it but dismisses the thought. This is Patton. “I think I have a romantic attraction for him.” 

Saying it out loud only cements the certainty in Declan’s chest. No, he hasn’t quite completed the experiment, but he just… knows. 

The knowledge is both relieves and spikes his anxiety about the whole situation. 

“Oh,” Patton says, eyes wide. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“Not really,” Declan says honestly. 

“Alright,” Patton says. He turns back around and a wave of affection flows through Declan. “How did Roman do on his audition?” 

Declan hums, eternally grateful for Patton’s ability to turn the conversation away. They talk about Roman’s skill as an actor for a few minutes, jumping to Patton’s involvement in VEX robotics (focusing on the robotics instead of the people) and they kill about forty minutes with Patton talking about his baby bot, Pat Jr. 

When the clock strikes seven, Declan throws together two grilled cheese sandwiches and they eat in front of Steven Universe and the gems, Declan stretched out along the couch and Patton creating a throne of blankets for himself. 

“I know you don’t want to talk about it,” Patton murmurs, eyes never straying from the bursts of pastel on the screen, “but if you do have a romantic attraction to Logan it’s okay. You weren’t wrong in saying you’re aromantic. Because that fits you, you like it. There’s just more strings attached than you originally thought.” 

Declan blinks, the smallest smile growing on his face. “Thanks, Pat.” 

Patton hugs a pillow, eyes bright. “Love you, Ci.” 

Declan pushes his foot against Patton’s blanket pile in response. 

--

“Do you think we have to move?” Patton says, three hours into their movie night. 

Declan breathes, slowly inhaling as if it gives him an excuse to not reply. “I didn’t. I don’t want to. But probably.” 

“That’s why you haven’t told anyone,” Patton says. He shifts, turning to look at Declan. Declan maintains eye contact with the screen, despite having seen this movie countless times. “And why you told me to keep it under wraps.” 

“Yes,” Declan says, because really, he lies to the world, but he doesn’t lie to Patton. 

He tries not to lie to Patton. 

“But something changed yesterday.” Patton’s not asking questions. Somehow, he just knows, despite being left out of the loop. “And you were going to tell Logan today.” 

“Yes,” Declan says. Static thrums through his veins. Aladdin ignores a buzzing genie on screen, swatting him away to benefit his own desires. 

“What happened?” 

“Mom’s not getting out,” Declan says simply, because that’s it, really. Their mother is not getting out of jail. And with no father, their final hope is their uncle, three states over. Their father’s brother. 

Two months away from eighteen, and Declan is forced to concede. 

“When?” Patton asks. He’s trembling, but he’s not crying. Declan knows that will come later. 

“Because of the legal mixups and leaning on Sasha, two weeks, probably,” Declan says. Sasha is, of course, their next door neighbor, the crazy cat lady of the street who “watches” the boys “all the time”. 

“Two weeks,” Patton whispers. There’s a sheen in his eyes. Declan tries not to look but his gaze is like a magnet and Patton stares, stares, stares. “That’s not enough time. That’s not…”

Declan closes his eyes. 

He really thought he would win. 

He thought he could win. 

They only had to last two more months. His deadbeat mom had to last two months and they couldn’t even keep the legal proceedings--

He takes a breath. “Uncle Thomas is nice, at least.” 

“I don’t want uncle Thomas,” Patton snaps. 

“Well we don’t have a choice, Pat,” Declan bites out, stomach rolling at the words, eyes snapping open. 

Patton recoils, hurt flickering behind his eyes, but Declan knows it’s not enough to overpower the fire roaring in Patton’s lungs. “We did, we could have put more savings into mom’s defense, we could have found a place to live before it was our last resort but now we have to tell all our friends that we’re moving hundreds of miles away in two weeks!” 

“Mom doesn’t deserve to get out,” Declan spits. 

“I don’t CARE.” Patton’s fingers are clenched in fists. He stands. “I don’t care if mom deserves it or not. We deserve to stay.” 

“The world doesn’t work like that,” Declan says. 

Patton opens his mouth and snaps it shut, obviously restraining himself. A thousand emotions swim behind his eyes. Declan hates every single moment but he doesn’t say a word. 

He leaves. 

He leaves Declan sitting alone on the couch, watching Patton’s favorite movie. A door slams shut and Declan exhales heavily. They don’t get into fights, it’s just not -- Patton’s normally too upbeat to bother, Patton hates being angry, Declan normally doesn’t -- there’s nothing to get angry about, not in the grand scheme of things. They share easily, they have chaotic conversations, they… 

They’re fighting. 

Declan buries his head in his hands. He was too hopeful, too caught up on the possibility of the future to notice the sinkhole of reality. 

He really thought -- things would work out, Patton has his lucky charm of a personality and Declan works, he works hard, so things should -- Declan’s a senior in high school, halfway through the first semester, he should be worried about grades and school dances and friends and crushes and --

Logan. 

Declan curls, releasing something like a sob or maybe a dry heave. Whether or not he’s in love with Logan (most signs point to yes but there’s no way Declan’s addressing that) he still loves Logan, he loves being with him and talking to him and ordering his ice cream before Logan gets there to see the surprised and fond expression cross his face. 

Two weeks? 

To say goodbye to his best friend? 

Before moving, before picking up his entire life and his family (just -- Patton. Just Patton) and going somewhere Else?

Declan doesn’t feel like an adult. 

He doesn’t want to be an adult, either. 

Even if the world is asking him to be one. 

--

“You’re acting strange,” Logan observes. 

Declan shrugs. “I’m always strange.” He takes advantage of shoving fries in his face to avoid expounding. 

Logan sighs and puts down his burger. “Declan. Something’s going on.” 

Several somethings are going on, actually, but thanks. Declan shrugs again. “Haven’t been getting much sleep.” Which is a true statement. He’s written about ten different ways to tell Logan he’s leaving, nine of which are ripped up in the trash, one of which Declan just burned because he doesn’t want even scraps of that disaster to exist. 

Five days to go and Declan still hasn’t told him. Five days.  They don’t have many classes together, otherwise Logan would have pieced together the weird treatment from the teachers. Declan wonders if just disappearing into the void is an alright way to go, but a little Patton in his head chastises him for even considering it. 

Then again, at this rate…

“Hm,” Logan says. He has a thoughtful look on his face that’s absolutely devastating to Declan’s heart and general health and coherence of thought, let alone considering what’s about to come out of his mouth. “Is there a reason?” 

Declan considers, eyes narrowing as he stares at nothing. “I neglect to answer that question.” 

“So yes,” Logan says. The words fall from his lips with crushing sorrow. He takes a breath. “Why aren’t you telling me?” 

“Telling you what?” Declan says, internally wincing at the hurt flickering through Logan’s eyes.  

“Okay,” Logan says instead. He turns back to his food. 

They eat the rest of the meal in silence. 

-- 

Declan watches absentmindedly as Logan attempts to make a tower out of pens and pencils. With the addition of Roman’s copious amounts of colored pens, the tower is quite impressive. 

Two days. 

(Two Days).

Declan’s all packed. Sorta. Not really. He’s going to skip some classes in the future and pack all at once, throwing everything into the boxes (the empty boxes lining his room), not caring if anything breaks. 

He… 

He hasn’t told Logan yet. 

Or anyone, really, but Logan’s the one that -- the one that matters the most. 

Logan did, however, ask him if he was okay three times before leaving him be, because Logan knows that Declan becomes testy if asked the same question consistently. 

So basically, as far as Declan can figure, Declan’s a tool. Logan is trying, and Declan is giving him jack shit to work with. 

Patton has told all his friends, which means it’s only a matter of time before Logan finds out, right? Patton’s a sophomore, they’re seniors, and the school is large, but it’s also not as big as it seems. 

Roman, sitting next to him, hums under his breath as he types. He’s editing his college essay, which Declan would be doing if he had a college essay to edit and also cared enough. The atmosphere is strikingly calm, which leads to an anxious buzzing under Declan’s skin. 

Tell him. Just tell him. Just open your mouth and tell him. You’re in a library, he can’t get loud and yell. 

Declan wonders if yelling would be better, actually, than wide eyed stares and wounded expressions. 

He’s contemplating the merits of writing a letter (absolutely not, he doesn’t know why he’s even considering it) when he spots Patton out of the corner of his eye. 

Patton in and of himself does not scare Declan. 

The fact that he’s bee-lining for Declan and his friends does make him a bit nervous, though. 

“Cici,” Patton hisses. The cutesy play on Declan’s middle name sounds odd in such a harsh tone of voice. He glances at Logan before staring at Declan. 

Declan’s starkly aware of Roman and Logan’s attention when he says, “yeah?” 

“You told them?” Patton says, and Declan--

Well. 

A combination of fear and fury and regret zip through his veins at warp speed.

But Declan’s well trained in the art of deception. 

He schools his expression into one of cool indifference. “That I’m taking you for ice cream? Nah. I didn’t think they’d care. You wanna go right now?” 

Roman huffs a laugh, turning his attention back to his computer. Logan doesn’t look away, though, hand resting on a bright yellow flair pen. 

Patton’s brow furrows. “I mean the--”

“Man, if you were that impatient you could’ve texted me,” Declan interrupts with a long, drawn-out sigh. He stands, swinging his backpack over his shoulders. “I’ll see you guys later.” 

“Get me some ice cream next time,” Roman says, grinning. His gaze doesn’t leave his screen. “Bye, loser.” 

“Bye,” Logan echoes. 

Something registers in Declan’s brain-dead skull that Logan sounds lifeless because his best friend has been distant (Declan. Declan is Logan’s best friend). 

Declan pauses, sighs. Patton looks outraged and about two seconds from outing Declan. 

“I’m sorry,” Declan says. Logan looks up at him. “It’s not your fault. Just… I’m going through some things. You deserve to know. I shouldn’t shadow you without any info.” 

Patton looks even angrier, if possible, but then Logan’s talking and Patton hates interrupting people. 

“Okay,” Logan says, soft as ever. “I’ll wait for you.” 

And if that doesn’t make Declan feel like the nastiest motherfucker. 

“Let’s go,” Declan says, pulling Patton along before Patton lets loose. 

He opens his mouth, but Declan beats him to it, whispering, “Shh, we’re in a library.” 

“I cannot fucking believe you,” Patton hisses instead. 

“Language.” 

“You haven’t told them?” Patton exclaims. He yanks his wrist from Declan’s grip but continues following him, arms gesturing wildly. “You’re the worst.” 

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Declan mutters. 

“You better get me ice cream now,” Patton says, crossing his arms. “After making me watch that.” 

“That’s fair,” Declan concedes, and then realizes he’s going to have to spent the next thirty minutes listening to Patton chastise him and -- 

Honestly, he deserves it, but he doesn’t want it, but before he can say anything, Patton says, “don’t even think about escaping this.” 

So he’s stuck listening to Patton chastise him for the next thirty minutes until their next class starts. 

But he gets a turtle sundae out of it, so it’s like, at least 20% a win. 

--

“CICI,” Patton screams from the living room. 

Declan shoots to his feet, tripping and slamming his knee into the doorframe, scrambling to reach Patton as swiftly as possible. He appears at the edge of the living room, hand pressed against the wall, chest heaving, eyes blown wide. “What? What is it?” 

He assesses Patton for damage, but Patton’s standing with his phone clutched between his fingers, shaking ever so slightly but appearing physically fine. He’s staring at Declan, lip trembling. 

“Patton?” Declan says. 

Patton opens his mouth, tears dripping down his cheeks. He sniffs, making an angry noise in the back of his throat as he wipes at his face. “I shouldn’t tell you! I should let you suffer because you’re mean.” 

“Patton,” Declan says, approaching his brother like one might a wild animal. 

Patton shakes his head and Declan stops. 

“I’m upset!” Patton says. Then he lets out a laugh, choked. “But I’m so relieved.”

Declan doesn’t say anything. 

Patton sniffles a few more times, then peeks at Declan through his fingers. Declan tries for a smile, sheepish. Patton smiles back, watery and soft. His shoulders shake as he laughs softly, his phone pressed against his cheek. “I was so scared.” 

“Me too,” Declan says. 

“I’m sorry,” Patton says, the anger draining from his face and leaving a wide-eyed pile of nerves. “I didn’t mean it. You’re not mean. You’re just scared.” 

“It’s okay,” Declan says. His arms hand limply by his sides. He wants to do something with them, to cross his arms or put them in his hoodie pockets or something, but he also wants to leave them available for when Patton wants a hug, so he stands awkwardly instead. “I forgive you.” 

“I’ve been calling Uncle Thomas,” Patton says. 

Declan’s heart does something funny in his chest. 

Patton pulls his hands away from his face, rubbing his cheeks clean, staring at his phone for a few moments before his hand drops, dangling at his side. “He’s -- he said he’s coming here. His job can be done online and the stuff he can’t do online he’ll fly back for which won’t be often, he said it’s important to him that we -- have a support system throughout highschool, and he wants us to finish here before doing anything else.” 

The information barely filters through Declan’s mind because when Patton exhales another sob Declan steps forward and envelops him in his arms on instinct. Patton’s legs go weak. Declan sinks to the ground, Patton pressing his face into Declan’s shoulder. 

“I’m sorry,” Patton mumbles. “I don’t know why I’m crying. This is good. This is good.” 

“Sometimes emotions have a funny way of showing,” Declan says. He runs his fingers through Patton’s hair, untangling the curls. “You’ve been stressed. It’s okay.” 

“Why aren’t you crying?” Patton says. He taps his palm against Declan’s chest, reminiscent of a smack without any of the power. “It’s not fair.”

Declan laughs, sort of. “I might later. I don’t know. Emotions are weird.” 

“You never told your friends you were moving,” Patton says. “Will they ever find out?” 

“Probably,” Declan says. He squeezes Patton. “I know you told your friends. It’s better your way. Even if it doesn’t feel like it.” 

“Mm.” 

Declan can feel the rise and fall of Patton’s chest. It slows as Patton calms down. “We don’t have to move,” Patton murmurs. 

“We don’t have to move,” Declan agrees, and Patton presses even closer. 

--

Declan doesn’t know how he finds his way to the beach but at one point he’s baking Patton cookies and the next he’s sitting on a slab of concrete overlooking the pitch dark waves. He knows Patton is sleeping, or is at least pretending to sleep. He vaguely remembers writing a note in case Patton looks for him. 

It’s been three days since Patton discovered Uncle Thomas’s moving plans. Discovered? Convinced? Declan isn’t sure. 

And he doesn’t really know how to react. He’s been moving on autopilot, making dinner, doing homework, putting in minimal effort into his friendships so they don’t abandon him on the side of the road -- 

No. Declan shakes his head. Putting minimal effort into his friendships because his friends don’t deserve to be cut off without a word. 

Nothing feels right. 

(Something is off). 

He hears footsteps and before he can whip around, before fear has the chance to truly take over his body, he hears, “this seat taken?” 

“No,” Declan says, and Logan sits next to him on the concrete. They’re quiet for a few moments, watching the reflection of the moon, tasting salt on their tongues. 

“Will you tell me what’s going on?” Logan says finally. 

Declan closes his eyes, breathes. His emotions are all tangled up in his chest and he doesn’t want to tap into it for fear that if he lets out a little he’ll let out everything. 

But Logan deserves to know. 

(He deserves someone better.)

“My mom lost,” Declan says, which sounds nicer than it did in his head. “She’s unfit to care for us, anyway, but now she’s officially calling prison her new home.” 

Logan’s quiet. Declan listens to his breathing. He spies Logan’s hand against the concrete and longs to close the distance and entangle their fingers, just for a modicum of physical comfort. The slightest hint of warmth permeates the air around Logan and Declan wants to lean closer, to press their arms together. 

“My Uncle, on my dad’s side, is taking care of us. He… wasn’t originally going to move here, but Patton talked to him and he decided moving here is the best course of action.” Declan shifts. He doesn’t know how to say it. He doesn’t know how to explain. 

Logan stops breathing. 

“I almost lost you,” he says, and it’s barely a whisper. 

Declan glances at him and can barely comprehend the amount of horror shining in Logan’s eyes. Logan’s staring at him, expression open and terrified. “I almost…” He exhales, shaking. Declan watches him so closely he can see the sticking of his chest as he breathes, the tremor of his shoulders. 

Declan’s heart stutters and he wants to tear his gaze away but he owes, he owes Logan this. Even though the only thing he wants to do is run away, to preserve himself. “I -- I never told you,” Declan says, more scared than he has been in a long time. He opens his mouth and stops, shrinking away. He looks over Logan’s shoulder, unable to maintain eye contact. “We were supposed to leave two days ago. I was going to tell you and then…” 

Then I found out that I’m in love with you, and it freaked me out so much I closed myself off. 

Logan’s truly shaking, and Declan doesn’t know what to do. You caused this. This is your fault. 

“Ugh! I’m sorry,” Declan exclaims. He can’t stand this, these tentative moments, fragile as glass. He wants to take a hammer to the whole affair. “I’m sorry. I know it’s not much but I was scared, and it’s not a valid excuse, but I was terrified, Logan, I couldn’t leave you! You mean too much to me!” 

“You mean a lot to me too,” Logan says, but Declan’s on a roll, now, there’s no stopping the hurricane in his heart. 

He moves his gaze to the waves, finding solace and energy in the constancy. “I was going to tell you when we were hanging out a few weeks ago in your room, and then I freaked out because -- and then I left, and haven’t been able to figure out how to word it since, and Patton’s better than I am, he told his friends almost immediately, imagine, having worse emotional competency than a fifteen year old--”

“Roman found out,” Logan says, grinding Declan’s tangent to a halt. “He mentioned something to me but I needed to hear it from you.” 

Declan stares at him. 

“I asked Patton if you were at home,” Logan explains. Declan can barely tell in the shadows, but Logan’s face seems to darken. “When he said no, I knew there was one other place you would go. Probably.” 

Declan worries his lip. He’s that predictable? 

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Logan asks, quiet. 

“Because…” Liquid anxiety slogs through his veins. His voice drops, quiet, quieter than the sound of waves. “Because I think I’m in love with you, and I’m terrified.” 

For a second all he can hear is the crash of the sea and his heartbeat pounding in his ears. He doesn’t know why the moon isn’t falling from the sky, why the stars haven’t combusted, because his world feels like it’s falling apart at the seams. 

“I discovered that,” Declan continues, the words slipping between his lips before his mind has any say in the matter, “and didn’t know what to do, and then I needed to tell you I was leaving, and I love you, and I couldn’t. Because I’m a coward.” 

Another beat. Declan takes a long breath. “I still love you. And I’m no longer leaving.” 

“I suppose… now would be a bad time to bring up demiromanticism?” Logan tries. 

“It would be a terrible time, but thank you,” Declan says, and he can’t help the small puff of laughter that escapes. 

“I love you too,” Logan says, then, and Declan can’t breathe. 

He turns to Logan without thinking, searching his sapphire blue eyes for deception even though Logan has never, ever lied to him. He can’t hope, he can’t dare to hope, the world would never give him two miracles. “Don’t trick me.” 

“I’m in love with you,” Logan clarifies, nervous. His hands are wringing together and he’s biting his lip. 

Declan reaches out, fingers trembling, to brush against Logan’s cheek. “You…”

“I’ve been in love with you,” Logan says. He’s looking down, away from Declan’s gaze, but he leans into his touch. “For awhile. I never wanted to bring it up because… you were so adamant about being separate from romance…”

“I thought I was,” Declan says honestly. “Which is why this is a real fucking trip, let me tell you.” 

Logan laughs, and some of the tension in the air dissolves. “I can imagine.” 

“God, I love you,” Declan says. He brushes his thumb underneath Logan’s eye. 

“I love you too,” Logan says, eyes wide and sparkling, then he moves forward and cradles Declan’s head in his hands and Declan short circuits because he’s right there he’s RIGHT THERE and he’s touching him he loves him he loves him--

“You’re gorgeous,” Logan says, and Declan just stares at him dumbly because his mouth stops working. His heart is barely going, the only reason he’s not dead is because his body has some sort of instinctive survival instinct, or something. 

Emotion clog his throat and Declan doesn’t know how he’s not sobbing already so he’s unsurprised when the smallest tear slips out of his eye. 

“Oh,” Logan says, wiping the tear away. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s -- it’s not -- it’s not you,” Declan chokes out. “God. This is so embarrassing.” 

“I don’t care,” Logan says. He leans closer, pressing their foreheads together and staring into Declan’s eyes. “It’s okay to cry.” 

Declan smiles thinly, blinking away tears. “I don’t deserve you.” 

Logan stares at him, brows furrowing. “What?”

“You’re so beautiful,” Declan says. His trembling hands hold Logan’s jaw. “And you’re so smart and passionate, and you have the most wicked sense of humor, and you’re my best friend.” 

“No,” Logan shakes his head. “I mean, I am your best friend, but there’s no deserve in a relationship. We’re just people. People make mistakes. I make mistakes. Please don’t sell yourself short.” 

Declan wants to say that only proves how good Logan truly is, but he settles for a simple, “Okay.” 

Logan brushes hair out of Declan’s eyes, then sighs, dropping his head to Declan’s shoulder. Declan’s hands slide down to Logan’s upper back.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Declan says. 

“I’m glad you’re here too,” Logan replies, muffled. He pulls away for a split second, eyes blurry and a crease already showing from his glasses pressing into his skin. “But if you withhold life-altering information like that from me again there will be issues.” 

“I won’t,” Declan says. He swallows. He hates promises. He hates them, because he never feels like he can maintain them. “I’ll… I’ll try my hardest.” 

Logan searches his gaze, nods, and then presses fully into Declan. 

“Woah, okay.” Declan shifts as Logan clings to him like a koala bear. Logan’s basically in his lap and Declan, well. Declan has no complaints. 

“I can do this as much as I want because we’re in love with each other,” Logan mutters, and wow, if that doesn’t send a thousand vibrations across his skin. In love with each other. 

Declan grins. He likes the sound of that. 

“You know,” Logan says conversationally. His fingers trail up to press against Declan’s face, outlining his lips. “I love it when you smile.” 

Declan hums, his smile broadening. Me too, Logan. 

Me too.

[florvinhara]

my detectives (part 1)

kjahfjhsj i can have a little infodumping... as a treat... anyway this was originally gonna be 1 post but then i got carried away so part 1 in the series of me ranting abt my detectives!

Kira Isabella Song

Romances N, F, or M

Age: 25 at the start of book 1, currently 26

Birthday: February 7

Star sign: Aquarius sun, Taurus moon, Scorpio rising

Height: 5’7”

Hair: Short, ash blonde, a little longer than chin length

Eyes: dark brown

Race/ethnicity: Korean-American

Other appearance details: Several beauty marks on face and body. a few subtle scars on face/legs from falling out of trees, etc. fingers are callused from band practice and left hand fingers are a little crooked from being broken.

Languages: English, Spanish, a few basic phrases in some other languages

Stats:

Charming/Intimidating

Impulsive/Cautious

Sarcastic/Genuine

Friendly/Stoic

Easygoing/Stubborn

Heart/Mind (equal)

Optimist/Pessimist

Team player/Independent

Primary skills: Science & combat

Strengths: Trustworthy, strong, courageous, calm under pressure, compassionate, thorough, clever, good intuition, self-sufficient, sure of herself

Weaknesses: Petty, caustic, distrustful, secretive, lackadaisical, insubordinate, emotionally unintelligent, can be disdainful, uncommunicative, contrary

Personal:

overall body language is casual and unbothered, lowkey her posture is kind of yikes RIP but she has a very fluid way of moving

her voice is smooth and somewhat low in pitch, very even in tone

Loud and/or jumbled sounds sometimes overwhelm her; she usually has noise cancelling headphones with her just in case

Rebellious as a teenager; she started skipping school and getting into fights, did some graffiti and one time she stole a street sign that she may or may not still have

When she wasn’t breaking rules, etc. she was taking boxing lessons, chilling in the library, going on runs, or playing bass guitar in her band

Wanted to get out of Wayhaven as soon as possible after college but was arrested after she came back because she was selling fake IDs and stole a car; absolutely did not want to be law enforcement but Rebecca and the captain essentially made her

The deal was that she would work at the station for 5 years and if she did well/stayed out of trouble she could then quit- she's 3 years into it

deep down if she wasnt a detective she would want to be a paramedic

She shares a lot of mannerisms with Rebecca and they’re way more similar than she’d like to admit

Birds FREAK her out seriously; she’ll deny that she’s afraid of them but she’ll cross the street to get away from them, also hates crowded places and deep water

Scary resting face and has a habit of just... eerily staring at people who are bothering her until they get spooked, but she's not actually that angry or grouchy, she's really just Vibing u know? she's not gonna correct anyone's impression though or they might start like... Talking to her :/

Loves any book/movie/show with a secret society or spy element and stories about a Hero and their Journey, also loves angsty philosophy books; her favorite movies are cheesy but feel-good (The Mummy, Pacific Rim, anything with big CGI monsters)

Doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth but would kill someone for strong coffee; if she’s really tired you can catch her drinking it cold straight from the pot with a straw

Emo/pop punk teen and she definitely cried when MCR broke up, she also listens to a lot of Dixie Chicks, Johnny Cash, Dottie West, Patsy Cline, etc

She’s been drawing since she was a kid- mainly works with charcoal and sometimes pastels. her sketchbooks are like her diaries and she’s never shown them to Anyone Ever

In her spare time, she still plays some guitar, draws, or reads; her library is extensive because she keeps every book she’s ever read or intends to read (it’s one of the few things she’ll drop real money on)

Very tactile person and fussy about textures, she prefers ultra soft blankets/pillows and her bed is basically a nest

Practical, efficient, frugal- she doesn’t necessarily find joy in cooking or anything but she can do it well enough, quick showers, uses cheap soap/shampoo, cuts her own hair

Her hands get super dry/chapped in the winter and it hurts very much :(

Never yells; when she gets angry she’s very cold & will Not hold back; every word is designed to hurt bc she’s purposefully poking at things she knows are sore spots

At the start of the books, she’s kind of... sleepwalking through life? like, she was in a not-great place mentally for most of her teens and didn’t really have a plan for the future but law enforcement was definitely not it? She isn’t feeling super passionate about what she’s doing and it kind of sucks to not have joy in purpose :( luckily that’s changing and is gonna be a significant part of her journey through the series!

Her apartment is cluttered but clean and she knows where everything is, if someone moved one of her things she would not be able to find it and it would bother her until she located it

She’s not stubborn exactly? Like she’ll concede an argument if it’s not super important to her and has no problem with losing or backing down in many cases; she’s pretty open minded in that respect, but if something is central to her values then she will Die before she backs down

On that note she’s overall a very logical person but when it comes down to it she'll follow her heart/first instinct

Does not care about rules or procedures At All, she'll follow them if it suits her end goal but otherwise... nope

Lowkey she… did not care about the reveal? it was a surprise but not her first priority in the moment- she kind of already thought UB was sketchy and didn’t trust them, so mainly she was pissed off that Rebecca had sent them to babysit her instead of actually help solve the murders

Speaking of Rebecca their relationship is kind of yikes. Kira isn’t exactly mad that Rebecca was gone so often, but she does think that she kind of forfeited her parenting rights and was annoyed that Rebecca was interfering with her life; first by getting her on the force and then by dropping UB on her. So now it’s Very Awkward between them because Kira doesn’t want to be like… mean but honestly what is there to say?? They’re trying but neither of them like to share personal information so it’s rough

On the subject of sharing, she just… genuinely doesn’t like to open up. Like, it doesn’t come naturally and in her mind it’s just… nobody else’s business what she’s feeling/what’s going on in her life

Genuinely does not realize that people care about her unless they openly tell her lmao... sad hours but at this point in the story she honestly doesnt think that any of UB cares abt her beyond their job besides the one she's dating :(

"Everyone should be allowed to feel things and rely on the support of the people around them, their emotions are Valid. not me though, this is my personal problem and as such its dumb so i have to get over it alone"

Her primary love language is acts of service, she wants the people she loves to have everything they might need; she’s Soft and really just wants snuggles but also she does not want to address it out loud

Her way of asking for affection is to just... stand/sit there and occasionally glance at the person... hovers like a sad ghost until she gets a hug... literally like 🥺👉👈 sjdhdkn Clown girl

She’s sarcastic and makes a lot of snarky comments, but generally she’s pretty honest unless she doesn’t want to talk about something (in which case she’ll brush it off and deflect or change subjects) which is why it annoys her so much when people are willfully dishonest or conniving

Pretty adaptable and capable of rolling with the punches but she generally dislikes surprises and being the center of attention

genuinely she's pretty chill! and a Huge enabler of chaos as well, like unless it's specifically bothering her she's gonna let it happen and mostly she thinks it's pretty funny to watch from the sidelines

in short she's basically like a feral cat who stares suspiciously at everyone from a distance until they successfully pspspsps their way into her heart and then she would die for them <3 but if she's mad she will make direct eye contact while shoving glasses off the counter

ahdgsksg ok last one i swear she Cannot Sit Properly, always has to be some flavor of lounging or leaning or sitting twisted into a pretzel

[spiralesbian]

ALRIGHT

here’s my full Stranger Avatar Sasha Archivist timeline:

(also, thanks to @artbyblastweave for being so interested in my lil au!)

SEASON ONE

sasha james is hired as the head archivist of the magnus institute!

her assistants are jon, tim, and martin

tim takes the thematic role of martin (aka getting tormented by my worm wife jane, and stays in the archives)

sasha reads thru statements and is a skeptic! she really does not believe it’s real until jane comes along.

“tim……………………..did you die here?”

“no, but every time i come to work i die a little more inside.”

cute timsha moment in the supply closet tho.

until martin kool-aid-mans through the door and gets them out of there

jon used to work in artefact storage so he hides in there. he’ll be fine

i actually can’t remember how they all get out but they do it KKJSDGFJHD

sasha takes everyone’s statements. tim is fucked up, martin is also fucked up, jon is actually fine though he seems pretty normal about this whole situation most definitely.

sasha realizes this is a bit more than a regular archivist job.

SEASON TWO

sasha gets paranoid of course. she learns more about gertrude because she never got the chance to meet her

she takes a statement from a guy named michael shelley. weird dude. then helen shows up :)

jon is most definitely himself he is just a normal regular grumpy jon i swear :)

sasha starts to manifest her powers a little bit. she doesn’t know it, but she is an avatar of the stranger, and a prisoner of the eye.

she starts to notice more things about jon? similar to this comic but with jon

eventually she + tim + martin help get jon out of the grip of the NotJon. this is my au and i get to choose who dies (it’s no one because i miss the s1 archival assistants too much).

jon is pretty fucked up from this though and at like a season-3-tim mindset already.

fucking goddamn leitner avatar of the fucking whore shows up to trap the NotJon in one of his shitty fucking novels. fuck this guy tho

he’s like Sasha We Must Talk and shes like okay but stay 8 ft away from me at all times you bitch

she leaves the room for 10 minutes and pipe murder occurs. good riddance

wait are the cops in the season i genuinely can’t remember. if they are, their roles don’t change very much. melanie and sasha feud, battle of the bi queens

SEASON THREE:

uh oh! girlie’s be framed for murder! she crashes at her ex gf georgie’s flat. also the admiral is there don’t think i would EVER cut him out of this story

(also jon is georgie’s ex too because i think that would be fun JDHBFHS)

sasha learns abt an upcoming web ritual (mirroring the unknowing), all that shit. gets kidnapped a ton of times, as usual.

helen is like “i am going to kill you because i hate gertrude <3 i was that dumb bitch’s assistant for too long” but michael busts out of the door like Hi Guys and traps her in the hallway.

sasha also gives her statement about a leitner she found as a child that marked her. its a stranger book and we learn her edgy orphan origin story how her parents were both murked by the stranger. fucked up if true!

back at the archives jon is like so fucking tired of this shit honestly and now martin is also pretty paranoid. also jm romance subplot is still very present!

tim is just trying to protect sasha at all times and he’s pissed she keeps leaving the country and getting fucking kidnapped

(remember when jon persuades the traffic cop?) sasha starts to fill her archivist role in a different way. she can shapeshift into the subject of a statement and uses her affiliation with the eye to coerce statements or info out of people. (example: if she needed a live statement from the guy in #90 Body Builder, she could temporarily make herself look like jared hopworth to the guy and ask “what happened to me?” or “what did i do?” and the guy would be like well he built some fucken bodies i guess let me tell you all about it) while reading the statements in america that refuel her, she fully shapeshifts into the statement giver while reading out loud.

once again i truly can’t remember daisy + basira’s roles until the end of the season. also melanie get shot by the ghost at some point

anyways sasha gets kidnapped by trevor and julia and they gerry lays out all the shit for her and she’s like ah! i’m fucked

tim offhand mentions the web ritual to martin and he loses his shit cause he’s marked by the web blah blah this isn’t a web!martin thing i swear i just need someone to fill tim’s role in the ritual and a lonely ritual would be fucking boring as hell as we learned from ass man peter lukas. i hate that man

so they make the plan to stop the web ritual (which is fucking hard when the offense knows your every move) so sasha, basira, daisy, jon, and martin go.

tim stays back at the institute to burn shit and distract elias. elias does some fucked up shit as usual and it makes me sad

the ritual starts! they have a plan to blow it up and run but like. u know how it goes

instead of the unknowing-stranger-dream-sequence, we get everyone kinda mixed up in a huge spider’s web on the big stage and its still quite confusing because this ritual not only manipulates the prey, but also the prey’s perceived reality. the web is also in current control of the buried coffin cause they think that shit is kinda fun. they yeet daisy into it.

hard to describe what happens, but basira keeps her cool, jon is a bit lost in his own mind, sasha tries to use her powers to escape but fails. she manages to get through to martin through the strings and mounds of spiders and she tosses him the detonator.

[squishing spider noises]

SEASON FOUR:

martin doesn't die, i told you i can't kill the og archival assistants! he does lose most of one leg though, he took the blunt of the explosion.

sasha in da hospital in da coma. tim is mad he can’t wake her up and then my man ollie says “ur fucked up mate” and she wakes up

(and because coma jon has such wild hair controversy, i’m establishing that her head was shaved when she was in the coma. it grows back thru s4. it she keeps one side shaved cause she’s cool)

meanwhile tim is recruited by that dumbass man you know who i don’t even wanna say his stupid fucking name

sasha gets daisy out of the buried. they become avatar pals!

(there is the biggest blank in my memory where all of season four should be. at this point i should just relisten to the entire fucking show but i would literally just forget it all again)

melanie says hm. fuck this! and blinds herself. she goes to live with georgie (and that’s the moment jon and sasha realize they are both georgie’s exes FHFHDJD)

tim continues to fight the lonely pull. he thinks that since p*ter l*kas is tied to the institute, he can blind himself out cause melanie was successful. he is wrong. he is also interrupted by elias midway, and only blinds one eye, and loses most of his sight in the other. elias’s hold on him is weak, but this just drives him way farther into the lonely.

gotta be honest i remember the end of season four but like i couldn’t visualize what was happening at the end so i like don’t understand what happened JGDKFJGD but sasha intervenes (???) and peter yeets tim into the lonely (???) and sasha jumps in (??????) after him. elias is just there i guess?

instead of “look at me martin,” sasha finds tim and at this point her form is warped and hard to recognize because of stranger powers, and tim is almost 100% blind, so she says “don’t look at me, see me. see me tim, it’s me.” and finally creates a clear image of herself. “it’s...it’s you. you’re my sasha.”

they break free and go to scotland i guess KHSDDKDSF

idk what happens with jon and martin im losing continuity at this point. fuck it, they smooch <3

“ah these are the statements.”

“yes. basira said last week she’d send some up as soon as the archives weren’t a crime scene. and she wasn’t sure which ones you’ve read already, so she, she just said she’d send a bunch.”

“.........Hello Sasha.”

(alternate ending: personally i think sasha would read through each statement before speaking them aloud cause that’s what i would fucking do, so she would get this statement and be like “lmao tim come look at this elias trying to prank me dumb bitch think i’ll start the apocalypse for him. fucking little puny bitch boy. anyways what do you want for dinner?”)

SEASON FIVE:

“just. listen.”

“...i’m dead. and you have been chosen to be my replacement as head archivist. hopefully, this means you, jon, but if someone else is hearing this, and elias has made a different choice for some reason, then these words are still very much intended for you.”

sasha in full stranger avatar mode and is like 8ft tall and her faces shift a lot as they go through the realms. except the stranger is the second to last one (the panopticon is last obviously).

helen and michael actually talk shit out in the spiral hallway and now they are mlm wlw solidarity and both like tim and sasha are such bi and trans icons <3 this is so fun don’t you love the fearpocalypse <3

oh daisy n basira trapped in the hunt, and jon and martin are trapped in the stranger. wtgfs + the admiral are like in space or some shit idk but they are ok :)

not much to report other than she is my monster wife <3

i really don’t have many theories to how everything in s5 is gonna pan out, and i would like to closely mirror the actual show, so maybe as we get closer to the end i’ll build more on to this! thanks a lot for all the notes on my first sarchivist post!! also if u wanna make art this specific au DEF tag me in it i’d love to see!!

[fruitbur]

(bursts into inbox) thAT ASK MEME WITH ALL THE OCS U TAGGED (or just pick and choose but i genuinely would love to know all of them if u want afhdsgjsdhdjd) - darkwarfy

i'm going to start with the easy ones and end with the ones i haven't even talked about to you.

Red-

Full Name: Aaron Cupid Williams

Gender and Sexauilty: Male (trans) and Demisexual

Pronouns: He/Him

Ethnicity/Species: Tribrid of Fae, WARLOCK, and Demon.

Birthplace and Birthdate: His birthplace is unknown to HIM so therefore it won't be stated. he was born on Halloween but the year is also unknown.

Guilty Pleasures: Dancing and Singing. his mother never allowed him to do anything fun when he lived with her (besides reading) so he hides that side of him.

Phobias: Spiders, water, and the dark.

What They Would Be Famous For: besides being the only one of his kind? his singing, there is just something about it.. i wonder what?

What They Would They Be Arrested For: destroying prisons and freeing wrongly captured supernaturals.

OC You Ship Them With: No one, Red is too young to date throughout most of the stories he is in.

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Iris (his mom) or Icarus

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Favorite movie would be Shark Boy and Lava Girl, he loves kids movies. Book genre is sci-fi or adventure stories.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: For movies it has to Coraline and book cliche is the hero or hero's lover/bestfriend dying for the greater good.

Talents and/or Powers: Talents would be as i said before his dancing and singing. his powers? jesus Red has a LOT. He can do basic magic, he can light himself on fire in a blue magic flame before it spreads around himself. telepathy, teleportation, and "invisibility" (that's more lore stuff) not really a power but he can control his appearance (his was born with baby blue skin and light purple hair but his mother taught him to hide that side to blend in with humans) he has a ribbon spell that he can call them to wrap his wrists and his controls them (i.e pulling and wrapping up his targets) he has another spell that does the same thing called flower power (this with rose vines) that he uses to hurt someone if need be. okay this is getting too long but he has more.

Why Someone Might Love Them: He is such a sweet kid and lights up the rooms he is in. you can't help but love him.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: Red can be a little troublemaker and cause chaos for fun. which gets annoying when shit goes down.

How They Change: Red always thought he was just a weapon, a tool for a war that was never coming. as he grows up and lives on his own with Angel, he changes to be someone full of love for not just others, but himself.

Why You Love Them: Red was my first ever OC. He has been through so much changes and growth and i think i finally love him as he is now.

Angel - (i'm gonna shorten the questions so this doesn't get too long)

Full Name: Nope- that's lore and i wanna tell you that Later.

Gender: Female (Trans), Lesbian.

Pronouns: she/her

Ethnicity/Species: loosely based on the mayans, a necromancer, and a clockwork angel necklace.

Birthplace: Her village in that universe's Tulum. Birthdate... she's existed for over 2000 years, who knows how old she is truly.

Guilty Pleasures: Gardening and painiting.

Phobias: the water. just- the water.

Famous For: bringing the dead back to life with ease.

Arrested For: Killing witches who mess with Red.

OC Shipped: I ship her with Niko, two crazy girls who just want bodies.

OC Murder: Iris again, or Lexi (not doing her, she isn't too important rn)

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: she doesn't watch movies that often because she is ya know.. trapped. but when Red can watch something other than kids movies, Angel finds herself loving romance movies, hasn't picked a favorite yet. Books though? cook books! she enjoys learning about food even though she can't eat.

Least Favorite: Horror, just like Red. or anything with water. nothing against mermaids or wildlife, but she's seen enough of the sea for 10 lifetimes at least. Cliche would be evil necromancers, screw that.

Talents: Her painting are to die for. powers??? now this is going to be fun. Angel can bring back the dead, use her magic to move things and grab people. over the course of her time trapped, she has learned how to possess whomever wears her, which leads to some fun beat downs with both Red and Angel working as a single unit. oh did i mention Angel really loves to mess around with blood magic? she was the only one who was able to master it before the witches attacked.

Love Them: Someone would love her becauss how passionate and nurturing she is. also because she enjoys cracking jokes in the safety of the clockwork during the WORST of times.

Hate Them: the witches hated her for her powers and that she was "sick" in the head for enjoying blood magic.

How They Change: Angel had to learn to live as a soul for so long, slowly forgetting what it means to be a living person, that has to be bad for her mental health.

Love Them 2: Angel has become one of my favorites because of how much i've put thought into who she is.

Niko -

Name: she still hasn't came up with a last name, might just take Angel's :)

Gender and Sexuality: Nonbinary and pansexul

Pronouns: she/her

Ethnicity/Species: Biracial, Japanse and Guyanese, a life sized Drawing Mannequin.

Birthplace: a black market factory that makes life sized objects to be used by witches. Birthdate, before 2016, at least.

Guilty Pleasures: ripping the skin off of witches for shit and giggles. oh and grooming dogs!

Phobias: none, nothing phases her.

Famous for: her spine chilling laugh.

Arrested for: all the murders she's done, that is, if she was ever caught.

OC Shipped: Angel of course.

OC Murder: any and all witches, Lexi, Syd.

Favorite Movie/Book: nope and nope! too busy living in the moment to sit down in one place, besides not have real hands. so the next question is useless.

Talents: is flawlessly ripping skin off of a living person a talent? Niko would say so. besides just living, Niko can change her shape into any type of doll/mannequin drawing or otherwise to hide in stores.

Love Them: she is a funny gal! creepy as shit but loyal once you've gained her trust.

Hate Them: "she. skins. people." -Syd at least 20 times.

How They Change: goes from a manic doll to a somewhat a stable person with the power of lOvE.

Love Them 2: She is perfect for Angel and that's enough for me.

Trinity -

Name: Trinity Wither Lakes

Gender: Female, Bisexual.

Pronouns: she/her.

Eithnicity/Species: Biracial, Polynesian, and African American. Werewolf and Siren.

Birthplace: Kaneohe, Hawaii. 3/17/1999.

Guilty Pleasures: Running in the woods in the middle of the night.

Phobias: being half wolf, she fears anything with silver, oh and blood.

Famous for: her speed.

Arrested for: graffiti and other forms of vandalism.

OC Shipped: Abigail. (not doing her either, sorry!)

OC Murder: Lexi, Raph, her grandparents.

Favorite Movie: Twilight and The Twilight Saga. she loves quoting the movies and books to piss everyone off, making it her favorites. Cliche would enimes to lovers.

Least Favorite: The Princess Bride, she just doesn't Get It. Cliche would be anything with angry werewolves or evil sirens. "we aren't your tropes, humans" -Trinity everytime she reads or watches something with a sexy but evil siren.

Talents: all the perks of being wolf and siren, nothing to add really.

Love Them: she is headstrong and makes for a good leader for a rebellion.

Hate Them: too loud, doesn't back down from a fight. will not shut up if someone is wronging her in public.

Change: she goes from the sheltered girl from her family's home in California to the loud rebel in Texas.

Love Them 2: Trin is like me, i don't know when to quit. if someone wrongs me i will scream it from the roof tops before i let them get away with it.

Syd -

Name: Syd Brimstone Lockwood

Gender: Female, Bisexual.

Pronouns: she/her

Ethnicity/Species: Caucasian, human.

Birthplace: Boston, Massachuestts. 4/20/1999

Guilty Pleasures: shitty reality tv, she lives for the drama. also magic, she has always been skeptical of the existence of magic so she spends much of her time researching and tracking down sightings of magic usage.

Phobias: None that i can think of.

Famous for: her deadpan delivery and humor/her resting bitch face.

Arrested for: stalking "known" supernaturals.

OC Shipped: Ainsel.

OC Murder: anyone who she follows would kill her, mainly Lexi or Raph though.

Favorite Movie: IT (2017) or a Purge movie. favorite cliche would be any boring, human trope. so like a coffee shop au.

Least Favorite: Harry Potter (okay she really enjoys the third one but she'd never admit it), cliche, would be magic. (she doesn't hate it, just that she doesn't believe.)

Talents: breaking and entering. "that's a fucking talent and you know it, Ains! i've never been caught in my life." -Syd. she is human so no powers.

Love Them: over protective of the ones she loves. would fight anyone to save Ainsel and she'd win.

Hate Them: her skepticism makes it hard for her to make friends and tears groups apart.

Change: after she meets a certain someone, she finally lets go of her overbearing skepticism and borderline hatred.

Love Them 2: i just love her character.

Ainsel -

Name: Ainsel Raven James

Gender: Female (Trans), Asexaul.

Pronouns: she/her.

Ethnicity/Species: African American (she has albinism), human.

Birthplace: Middletown, New York. 5/18/2002.

Guilty Pleasures: painting on herself, walking in the rain with no umbrella.

Phobias: fire. "You can't control it Sy-Sy!!! what if you drop that match huh?! we could go up in flames! i don't want to burn away!"

Famous For: her looks, or her happy go lucky nature.

Arrested For: Jay walking to get away from a monster or someone chasing her and Syd.

OC Shipped: Syd.

OC Murder: Lexi or Raph.

Favorite Movie: Tangled. Cliche, a happy ending.

Least Favorite: Monty Python and The Holy Grail. Cliche, a dog dying.

Talents: Her impeccable timing, always seeming to get Syd out of trouble before she is caught. "Nuh uh! none of that miss "breaking and entering!"" -Ainsel. Again a human so no powers.

Love Them: her optimism and acceptance of magic and the supernatural. how she loves everyone so fiercely and stands for what is right.

Hate Them: how happy and full of light she seems to be.

Change: She starts to stick up for herself more and learns how to fight back.

Love Them 2: i love how happy she is, i want to be that comfortable in my own skin like her.

Sebastain -

Name: Sebastain A. Montague

Gender: Male, Aromantic, Asexaul.

Pronouns: he/him.

Ethnicity/Species: Caucasian, Vampire and Sorcerer.

Birthplace: Venice, Italy. 7/25/1462

Guilty Pleasures: Ballroom Dancing. Drinking straight from the pulse.

Phobias: the sun, even if he can walk in the daylight.

Famous For: his charm and "naturally" good looks.

Arrested For: a string of murders in the east coast of the US.

OC shipped: no one, the only thing close to a relationship he has is his friendship with Red long into the future.

OC Murder: Syd tries, but she finds it's hard to kill something already dead.

Favorite Movie: he has lived for so long, he finds his memories are better than what you'll find in those picture shows. he does enjoy reading poems by Edgar Allan Poe or any of Dickinson's works. (skipping the next question)

Talents: Dancing and cooking. Powers, compulsion (vampire mind control), and the basic skillsets a sorcerer has.

Love Them: his charm, though their love is misplaced, is appreciated.

Hate Them: he is a world class bastard who knows how to use his charms to get what he wants, you.

Change: He learns to be nicer to people and not view them as just a food source.

Love Them 2: he is one cocky bastard but i wouldn't trade him for any other bitch out there.

Irri -

Name: Iradeseca the Faithful

Gender: Genderfluid, pansexual. (in a poly relationship).

Pronouns: any, but mainly goes by she/her.

Ethnicity/Species: she's.. she's an alien boss. (oqjsgsyisha) anyways she is from a race called The Marked Ones. i'll tell you all about them soon. Irri is of the Shifter classification, and is the last pure blood shifter left.

Birthplace: their (the girlfriends/partners) home planet, in the palace of the shifters. (no date because lore reasons, this will be the same for her girlfriends.)

Guilty Pleasures: her partners 😏

Phobias (more like fears): explosions, drowning, losing her girlfriends.

Famous For: her shifting ability.

Arrested For: well... L O R E

OC Shipped: Betrix, Calenni, and Desa.

OC Murder: lore

They are aliens, so i'm skipping these questions.

Talents: her speed. she is a shifter, so she can shape shift into her true form (a ice fox) and into her more humanesque form. (having two arms and two legs)

Love Them: her mysterious but gentle presence

Hate Them: her special skill and the fact she is dating Calenni and Desa in particular.

Change: Irri changes from being controlled by an oppressive regime.

Love Them 2: She is my second oldest oc, she will always have a special place in my heart.

Betrix -

Name: The Stoic Betrix

Gender: Genderfluid, pansexaul. (in a poly relationship)

Pronouns: she/her or he/him.

Ethnicity/Species: The Marked Ones, Bender classification.

Birthplace: on their home planet, in a abandoned temple of the benders.

Guilty Pleasures: smiling and being happy.

Phobias: being alone and losing his girlfriends.

Famous For: her calm, unphased demeanor.

Arrested For: same reason as Irri and Desa.

OC Shipped: Irri, Calenni, and Desa.

OC Murder: WOAH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, LORE!!!

Talents: being able to take everything thrown at him without saying a word (punches, kicks, fire, etc etc). bending people in half without moving a muscle. being a bender means she can bend spaces and minds with no difficulty, leading him to control the person's mind.

Love Them: No matter what happens to her, Betrix always gets back up with twice the amount of power and the same amount of complaints, zero. a man of little words unless he is with his partners.

Hate Them: WHY WON'T SHE STAY DOWN? STOP FIGHTING ALREADY!!! dating Calenni and Desa

Change: Betrix learns how to open up more and use her words because she is allowed to speak.

Love Them 2: She is a badass. who needs to speak when you can just knock the asshole over with one push.

Calenni -

Name: Calenni the Creative

Gender: Genderfluid and pansexual. (in a poly relationship)

Pronouns: she/her and sometimes called they/them by Betrix.

Ethnicity/Species: The Marked Ones, Creator classification.

Birthplace: On their home planet, on her family's estate.

Guilty Pleasures: being taken care of, not always the one leading things.

Phobias: bugs, filith, losing her partners.

Famous For: looking like a flower or a tiny pixie creature.

Arrested for: nothing because of lore reeasons

OC Shipped: Irri, Betrix, and Desa.

OC Murder: lore.

Talents: everything she creates is one of a kind and priceless. She is a creator so she is able to make whatever comes to mind with just a tap of her fingers. and is always changing how she appearance due to creating new shapes and forms.

Love Them: she speaks out against what was happening with the creators and risked her lives for her partners, nearly dying for them.

Hate Them: didn't sit back and be the little princess she was supposed to.

Change: learned how to be independent while being able to depend on her loves.

Love Them 2: Calenni said eat the rich even if that means eat me too.

Desa -

Name: Desa the Kind

Gender: Genderfluid and pansexual (in a poly relationship)

Pronouns: any but mainly she/her.

Ethnicity/Species: The Marked Ones, Destroyer classification.

Birthplace: on their home planet, in the woods far away from civilization.

Guilty Pleasures: creating stuff!!! being able to just live and feel love and acceptance.

Phobias: destroying the ones she loves. being alone, losing her partners.

Famous For: being understanding and not judgmental.

Arrested for: lore- but also just for being caught with Calenni.

OC Shipped: Irri, Betrix, Calenni.

OC Murder: lore, but anyone but her partners.

Talents: Her forgiveness. Being able to destroy whole planets by just being on them. Detroyers can eliminate anything in their paths with little to no struggle.

Love Them: ??? what is not to love??? she is such a friggin sweetheart who wants to spend all eternity with her sweethearts.

Hate Them: being born.

Change: girl has it ROUGH let me tell you. but in the end it'll all work out and a much happier, healthier Desa will make it out on the other side.

Love Them 2: "all i want is to love what i can not destroy with a single touch, then and only then, i'll be at peace" -Desa.

BONUS!!!! BONUS ROUND!!!!

Iris -

Name: Iris the Lurer

Gender: Female and Straight (😔)

Pronouns: she/her

Ethnicity/Species: Greater Demon (dark gray/light purple complexion)

Birthplace: in the demon realm, before mankind was created.

Guilty Pleasures: using her kids as weapons to orchestrate a war. oh and 90 Day Fiance on TLC.

Phobias: love and weakness from her children.

Famous For: her natural rainbow hair.

Arrested For: mass genocide.

OC Shipped: Icarus (two slimey bastards)

OC Murder: ANGEL AND RED LIKE THE BAD BITCHES THEY ARE 😤💯

Favorite Movie: The Birdcage. Cliche would be main villainess destroying the land.

Least Favorite: The Hunger Games. "so over rated and boring CGI, why do humans enjoy this?" -Iris

Talents: being the worst mother alive, making your child into a monstrosity to benefit your delusions. her powers are mostly mental manipulation and normal demon theatrics.

Love Them: being confident, commanding, and full of herself.

Hate Them: everything she has ever done after breaking free from the demon realm with Icarus.

Change: maybe if she gets murdered she'll finally change.

Love Them 2: i like working with a villain, morally gray character like her.

THIS TOOK ALL DAY WOANSGEUOWMSB I HAVEN'T LEFT THIS TAB ALL DAY.

[professorspork]

i know I always say this, but, last night REALLY WAS the BUSIEST OF DAYS in the Reaper War

before I get into yesterday’s gameplay, I realized I forgot to react to the fact that Jacob got Brynn pregnant, which -- again, I suppose that wraps up everything about his backstory in a nice little bow, lad of the bad dad gets to be good dad, but like... it still gives like they gave his character incredibly short shrift. so. humbug to that.

but I have bigger fish to fry (ha ha, literally, see what I did there?) because ALL OF THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE, AND ALL OF THIS WILL HAPPEN AGAIN. I rescued Ann Bryson, and learned that -- shocker -- she had a bad relationship with her dad. I uh may have condoned her getting a bit of a nasty nose bleed in order to track the Leviathan to Despoina, where as ever I got to read a bunch of people’s weirdly specific sad diaries. my jump into the depths was very cool and scary (does no one get the bends in the future???) and I enjoyed my The First-style body swapping conversation with the Leviathan in which I tried to prove I’m ~special and this time is ~different. on the one hand, I don’t know why I expected the origin of the Reapers to be anything other than yet another story of AI gone wrong, but this whole cinematic parallels thing is starting to edge out of “everything matches up and is of a piece” territory and into the murkier waters of “we kind of only had one idea, actually.” to reveal that the Reapers’ plan is just stray AI code to ‘preserve life’ is at once very chilling and a bit of a let down; when I think back to when I talked to Sovereign for the first time and I had my initial “GOD IS A MACHINE THAT WANTS TO KILL US” freak out, I was in fact very on board for an evil plan too broad and complex for a human mind to fathom. for it to be this feels kind of predictable and pedestrian.

that said, watching the Leviathan take down a huge-ass Reaper capital ship with its pulse signal was very satisfying.

oh no this is going to get very long, now that you’ve had this fun teaser i’m gonna put the rest under a cut

then we kicked it on over to Thessia and I highkey traumatized my girlfriend. I feel like I should have seen the reveal that the asari were more advanced because they were hoarding prothean tech coming, but I didn’t. hearing and seeing all the asari commandos helping me get wiped out was a real gut punch, but didn’t hold a candle to my frustration at the confrontation with Kai Leng. I’m not mad that the game wouldn’t let me beat him, per se (though I still think it’s ridiculous that I’ve taken down a Reaper by myself and I’m supposed to be afraid of a dude with a knife), but I am pissed that it all happened with combat cut scene magic. this game has given me difficult combat before! if, in fighting Kai Leng, I’d genuinely felt outmatched, I think I would have tolerated it better -- or if the combat had been me fighting the Harvesters and then Kai Leng sneaked around me because that’s what he does, he sneaks. but to have such a relatively easy combat sequence with him that felt very much like winning just to have it snatched away from me... maddening. WHY CAN’T I BEAT THIS ONE GUY AND HIS KNIFE? I don’t want to be all “Kai Leng is a Mary Sue” but like... he got to murder Thane and then beat me in overtime, and his entire vibe is I exist to sell action figures even though that’s not, as far as I know, any part of Mass Effect’s profit model. so it’s just frustrating. and for them to then rub salt in the wound and have him EMAIL ME to be like “lol snowflake r u triggered” was just. MY PATIENCE IS THIN, ME3. DON’T PUSH ME.

seeing Shepard have to admit to failure was a gutting scene, though, and a necessary one. and watching Liara fight with Javik was highkey satisfying, too. 

so anyway, because i was BIG MAD at Cerberus I tracked them first to that one N7 communications mission-- 

(Sample dialogue: Helen: Why aren’t you using cover? You’re going to die! Use cover! Me, jumping out of cover and rushing Cerberus goons trying to melee them to death: BECAUSE I’M MAD)

-- and then to Sanctuary, and HOO BOY WAS THAT A LOT OR WHAT. from the second I heard Oriana’s voice I had a pretty good idea of what was going on here, but seeing in in practice was still creepy af. and like. i’m just gonna go out on a limb and say INDOCTRINATION BAD. I AM NOT A FAN. shout out to that one capitalist volus on the Citadel who was like “lol sanctuary is a scam don’t waste your money” i guess

additionally, last night was significant because I picked not one but TWO ENTIRE renegade convince options, because I saw no reason to be nice to terrorist daddy the illusive man or actual terrorist daddy Mr. Lawson. after I got through all that, Helen explained to me how difficult it apparently is to keep Miranda alive by the end of that confrontation, so I got to do some WHAT LIKE IT’S HARD? preening at how Nice Sheps Finish First sometimes. 

but as usual, the real highlight is getting to know my crew better and talking with them. I finally got some prime flirting in with Liara during Leviathan. it was VERY cute when she was like “man what’s with you rescuing damsels from dig sites? if you end up teaming up with her to save the world and bring down the shadow broker i’ll be very jealous. ... and concerned” and WEIRDLY CUTER when she was like “hey the only tentacled alien who gets to mess with your brain is ME” because Liara is like 115 by now considering how slowly i’m getting through these missions and she still does not know what romance is. 

[no but seriously, Liara does not know what romance is. half the time I’m still going WE’RE STILL DATING, RIGHT? every time she refuses to talk to me. and even after Thessia, when everyone was like “go talk to Liara, she needs you” and even JAVIK of all people was like “you’re dating Liara, right? it’s so obvious” our interactions did not feel particularly... romantic? it’s a tricky needle to thread, obviously, I’m not looking for sloppy makeouts right after millions of her people died, but it still reads as very odd to me. anyway.]

Javik’s story about how he once had a ship like the Normandy and a crew of friends like mine and they all ended up indoctrinated and he had to personally slit their throats went way harder than I ever expected it to. even just the IDEA of having to do that as my Shep upsets me. i’m legit enjoying getting to know Javik, even though i’m still GuessWhoJustGotYelledAt.jpg every time I leave his room. I HAD ENOUGH OF THAT FROM KREIA, JAVIK, YOU’LL NEVER PUSH ME AWAY.

I was surprised by how hard Tali took Miranda’s successful challenge of Mr. Lawson, though in hindsight it makes sense -- with the geth war still happening on top of everything else, I don’t think Tali ever did get the chance to process her anger at her dad being a war criminal and all. and her whole “emergency induction port” bit about the straw was cute as hell tbh. her friendship with Garrus over the comms continues to give me life. 

(in other quarian news, I AM SAD ABOUT KAL’REEGER.)

and jeff. JEFF. after Thessia i literally ran to the bridge and said aloud “Jeff, make me feel better” as I clicked interact with him, and then he made that dig about asari dancers, and i was like NO NOT LIKE THAT. (I mean, what Shep literally said was “now’s not the time for jokes” which is ironic considering she, unlike me, still calls him JOKER) but then he was all DAD ANDERSON SAID I’M SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH, I’M SORRY, I’M DOING MY BEST and like. what a fucked up little family we are. he feels guilty that I died saving him, still! apparently he asks EDI about my stress levels and they are BAD and he feels BAD! im crey. OH AND ALSO THE FACT THAT PTSD ASARI LAURA BAILEY WAS TALKING ABOUT HIS FAMILY ON TIPTREE AND I CAN NEVER TELL HIM BECAUSE THE GAME DOESN’T LET ME DO THAT???? V UPSETTING.

and then of course EDI had to TRIPLE DOWN on all these feelings i was already having by telling me about human resistance and selflessness on Earth and how she wants to turn off her self-preservation code because she’s not about that. I’M SUCH A TOASTER FUCKER HALP.

Garrus being all “well sometimes your best friend gives you a pep talk” speech was cute as hell, and I was strangely charmed when Kaidan was like YOU CAN TELL I’M EXTRA MAD BECAUSE MY VOICE HAS GOTTEN SO DEEP grumbling.

next up: shore leave, and then going after Cerberus will trigger act 3! i may one day finish mass effect after all!

[leggomylino]

light switch 2 | yandere!seungmin

Genre: Yandere, romance/fluff (sorta?), thriller, a little angst, some comedy

Pairing(s): yandere!Seungmin x reader

Word count: ~8k

Warnings: Author rambling, run-on sentences, mild language (censored), a few memes, moments of high tension and possible anxiety, ooc, and mild abuse/violence

A/N: Requests are open! | Masterlist in bio! | I told you guys I was working on this!! Lol I’m so sorry it took so long! :(( But, nevertheless, here it is! ...And yes, there’s a surprise waiting for you at the end... >u>” Enjoy!! And please be sure to tell me what you think! c: I love hearing from you all~ <3 (For those of you that missed it, part one can be found here)

Oh my gosh it’s finally back

Can you believe it’s finally back

Seriously what took this chick {author} so long to write this sh*t wtfudge man

Okay okay I know I’m sorry

It’s been really chaotic and I’ve had a lot on my plate (and mind) but we’re finally back now and that’s all that matters

So

My question to you all is

ARE YOU READY TO FINISH THIS THING?!

(enter your response here)

...THEN YEEHAW LET’S GO 

  Okay so

To recap:

AT A CERTAIN DANDY BOY™ HOUSE

Your mother had just made a phone call to Seungmin asking to talk to you

She wanted to remind you to bring the mail inside before y’all got too comfortable and side-tracked since you told her you were at Minnie’s (a fatal error on your part) and she and your father are out of town on a cliche business trip

Things always go wrong during cliche business trips

Anyway Minnie was pretty confused at first but he caught on pretty quickly that something was up

Something rotten in the state of Your Town Name Here

And knowing that you must have lied he decided to play along, beginning to gather the materials he needed

*cue ominous soap opera music*

 “......”

“...Seungmin? Is everything alright?” Her voice is growing more and more worried with each consonant. “Where’s (y/n)?”

“......” 

He laughs.

Just laughs for a moment, shaking his head.

“...Yeah, yes, she’s here. Sorry, my connection has been on the fritz lately.”

“O-Oh, I see...can I talk to her?”

“She’s in the bathroom getting cleaned up right now. I’ll have her call you as soon as she’s out...”

He paces over to the blinds, peeking out into the neighborhood from his second story window. Like a lot of cliche villains or suspicious people do. “...but it may be a while. You know how long she takes just to brush her teeth.”

Mrs. (L/n) gives a relieved, but still somewhat nervous chuckle, sighing at the end to ease her tension. “Yes, I certainly do. Thanks so much, Minnie. I know I can count on you to take good care of my little girl.”

“Yes...” He smiles, nuzzling the phone between his ear and shoulder as he’s scouring his room for things: a bottle labeled “Witch Hazel”, some cloth, a copy of his dad’s car key...as well as an additional key he never thought he’d get to use until now. “You can always count on me. I promise she’ll be out like a light before the clock strikes twelve.”

“That’s a relief. In that case just tell her to bring the mail in, would you? Thanks again!”

“It’s not a problem. Good night, Mrs. (L/N).” 

“You too dear.”

Beep. He hangs up.

Looks back out the window. Sighs.

It wouldn’t be a problem at all.

“...at least, not for long.”

 ~~~

 Back at Lucas’ house...well really, your imagination...you’re having a nightmare you used to have as a child

You’re walking down the street, minding your own business...

When all of a sudden the sky turns red, then black

The faces of the people around you turn sinister; they look like they want to hurt you

You begin to run as fast as you can, but your whole body is weighed down, like gravity is twice as strong on you

But not on anyone else 

So while the people who are slowly turning into monsters are gaining on you

All you can do is cower in fear and pray that it will be over quickly

But then there’s a burst of white light

Like a light switch has been flipped on

And the ground crumbles beneath you, bursts of white shining through the cracks

And you go tumbling down into the earth

Down

       Down

             Down

Until you land into a pair of soft, strong arms

Your face instantly buries into the figure’s chest, because you know you can trust him

He smells sweet, like lavender and fresh Spring daisies

It’s a calming, pleasing scent

And all the monsters who were chasing you before vanish as they fall into the crumbling Earth, disintegrating into nothing but ash that’s carried someplace far, far away

You look up to see who your savior is

It’s never the same person

At first it was your dad; then it was your sixth grade crush; a couple times it was the cute actor from your favorite movie

But this time, and sadly like the last five times you’ve had this dream since you started high school...that person is none other than Kim Seungmin

He’s looking so ...

There isn’t a word for it

His edges are soft

So are his eyes

And he’s looking at you like you’re responsible for hanging the moon in the sky and making all the stars glow

He has such high expectations for you

From you

That you’re afraid to let him down

To tell him the truth

You aren’t God, after all

But...

......

You just—

“gaAAAAAHHH—!!!”

!!?!?!!!?!

What the heck was that?!?

Your eyes shoot open to the sound of someone crying out

It sounds like a man’s voice...

And it’s nearby

You’re stunned into shock for a few seconds before you can get your body to move, and when you do you grip the plushie in your arms against your chest—

Wait, plushie...?

You look down.

Your eyes are adjusting while a struggle is clearing going on outside 

It’s the plushie that Seungmin gave you

The one from your house; you know it is bc it smells like your bedroom

But you didn’t bring this with you...

You’re scared, but you quickly throw yourself out from the safety of the tent—

And immediately wish you hadn’t

The window beside the bed is open

A cold draft blowing in

Lucas is pinned down, struggling 

The shadowy figure above him

Is none other

Than Kim Seungmin

He’s ripping something off of his belt-

It’s a syringe

He stabs it into Lucas’ arm with a curse, and not but two seconds later the boy is little more than a vegetable; no longer moving, barely breathing

Holy sh*t

I mean

Holy sh*t--

You gotta bounce sis

You gotta MOVE

Seungmin tosses a bottle of some clear liquid aside in anger, and it spills open in the middle of the floor

The smell hits you pretty quickly; it smells of lavender and fresh daisies

Just like in your dream/nightmare

It makes you feel a bit woozy upon inhaling it

But you don’t completely pass out 

Which apparently is what Minnie was going for

There’s a thump as Seungmin jumps to the floor

And you’re scared

Actually, saying you’re scared is an understatement

This is pretty freaking serious man

You don’t think you can meme your way through this one

You can’t move

You just kneel there outside your tent in shock, trying to convince yourself this is one of those nightmares that stems from another; you simply woke up into a new dream is all

But it’s not so

Something in your heart is telling you

This is real life

Seungmin is doing something...

He’s...filling another syringe 

Now that your eyes have adjusted, you can see he’s completely surpassed resting b*tch mode

He’s gone off the deep end. Like, he’s really gone this time

Looking so serious and genuine, so certain about what he’s doing...

Yet having lost all the light in his eyes

“Now, (y/n)...I need you to be good and take this for me.”

Uh

Uhhhh

No thanks bro that’s okay

P h A t pass on that one man

Phattest pass, phattest pass

You get your legs to finally work as he’s approaching you, scurrying towards the door and only stopping when your back hits against it, because dammit all, he’s still too fast for you

Seungmin is just right there man

He’s got you trapped

His fingers brush over the soft palate of your arm, gently feeling about for a vein

Apparently he wants to be more careful and professional when he drugs you

For whatever reason

You’re back to being immobilized

It’s like your feet are stuck in blocks of cement

Oh dear Lord you’re gonna die ಥ_ಥ

This is it

He wants you dead

He’s gonna throw you and Lucas into some twisted vegetable soup and that’s going to be the end of it

And you may have thought that had it not been for the blue and red sirens flashing outside

Minnie turns around mid-prodding, an obvious cringe on his face, and then suddenly he’s tackled to the ground by none other than Big Brother of the Year Lucas oh praise Jesus you may live after all

Wow this guy is your hero

He’s weak and there’s blood all over his face, his breath heavy as he heaves out desperate words to you

“.....(y/n)........g-get out...s-side.........cops....will take...care of y-you...”

Welp, he don’t have to tell you twice

Through all this, he’s still trying to protect you. He’d been drugged, his face cut into, beaten senseless without warning, yet he was still trying to save you...like a guardian angel or something

...Wow, maybe the author should have made this a Seungmin x reader x Lucas instead hubba hubba

But unfortunately she’s spaghetti and swamped with updates so we’ll never know 🤪🍝

You fling yourself out the door and down the stairs as some officers have just broken down the front door, and you don’t grab no shoes or nothing Lord, you r u n outta that place, choosing to consult with a kind-looking female cop that’s waiting outside on standby

Frantically you gush out what’s going on as best you can, even though you’re not so sure what’s going yourself

Most importantly, you’re sure to tell her that Lucas is hurt first. He needs immediate medical attention from what you gathered in the faint street light pouring in the open window

She comforts you and assures you that they’re handling it, all the while wishing and hoping and praying with every fiber in your being you’ll wake up soon, any minute now...

...but unfortunately, you never do. The reality hits you when Lucas is carried out on a stretcher and Seungmin is forced out in handcuffs.

 ~~~

 You’re at the hospital with Lucas

Seungmin really did a number on him; after beating him black and blue, he pulled out a knife and nearly blinded him

Luckily it was dark and Lucas put up one heck of a fight. He wasn’t on three sports teams for nothing. 

He’d put up such a defensive display that Seungmin had just missed his left eye...sadly, though, he got the right one

Lucas lost half his eyesight because of you

You don’t know what to say...what to think, even

If only you hadn’t gone over there. If only you’d just stayed home...or...or maybe...

You swallow as tears begin to fall. What the heck were you supposed to do? You’d had no idea this would happen. You didn’t know things had gotten this bad...

...but you also kind of did

The poem? It was a warning

No

A threat

You’d been given a heads up long before, and you’d chosen to play dumb and ignore it

And now Lucas would have to be called Patchy for the rest of his life

The only Halloween options he’d ever have are Pirate or...parrot with an eyepatch

And it was all your fault

Thank God Seungmin had been arrested…

...Wait

Seungmin--

Omgosh

He’d been arrested. Kim Seungmin had been arrested.

Why was this just now hitting you so ha--

“Oh my gosh, my baby! (Y/n)!!”

Oop. Mama (Y/n) in the house.

Your mother comes charging in like a swarm of bees, enveloping you in her arms but also giving you a bit of a sting for lying to her like you did. Lucas’ parents had caught them up to speed already, your father glaring angrily but thankfully from the doorway. 

After hugging them both and explaining everything from your point of view, they agree to give you a few more minutes alone with Lucas before you’re grounded young lady no TV no video games no books well okay reading is important for your future but nothing enjoyable and no dessert. They also plan to have a serious discussion with you about Kim Seungmin as well. Great.

Not wanting to let you go your father drags your mom out, her protestant whimpering echoing down the hall and they retreat to discuss things further with Lucas’ parents.

Oi vey

What has all of this come to? What are you even doing? How did things get this bad…?

You turn your head slowly from across the room, examining the boy’s eye (or in some ways lack thereof) as you make your way back, settling carefully into the chair beside him.

𝑊𝑖𝑡𝘩 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑡𝘩𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩𝑡

𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑏𝑖𝑛𝑑

𝑆𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑏𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑠

𝐵𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑦 𝑔𝑜 𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑑...

...You now hate poetry

You’ll never read another sonnet ever again

“Hmn…”

!!

Lucas is waking up

It’s now five o’clock in the morning

You’re both dead tired, but you can only imagine how he must be feeling, being the one in the hospital bed…

……

...This is seriously all your fault

You hate yourself for it

You just

You just…

Ping!

There’s a text on your phone. You choose to ignore it, of course. Lucas is way more important right now than some Instagram or trivial weather update

Tenderly you reach, taking Lucas’ hand...or start to. You hover over it, wondering if you even deserve to be...if you even…

A warmth envelopes your fingers as Lucas takes them weakly into his own, the faintest smile present on his face. He carefully reaches up to pat the white surgical tape and bandages over the upper right half of his face. 

“...It’s never going to get any better, is it?” he asks.

You practically jump at the question: “No, it will. It definitely will.”

...Lying to him in order to not cause him any more panic is the best you can do for him now. Pathetic, but it’s better to remain hopeful, at least until he can handle it later.

His smile turns sad as he gazes at you with his one good eye. 

“I meant for you.”

……

“......”

You slowly shake your head no

He sighs, turning towards the fluorescent lights on the ceiling that have been dimmed to allow the patient on the other side to sleep. “I’m so sorry, (y/n). This is my fault. I should have just brought you to the police station, and they would have handled it professionally right then and there. I didn’t think...things had gotten this bad.” He squeezed with what little strength he had. “But I’m really glad you’re okay. Did he hurt you at all?”

……………

This man

Was lying in a hospital bed

Drugged

Bruised to a bloody pulp

He’d permanently lost sight in one eye

And he was worried

About you

->

So author, what was that about no love triangle going on here??

Smh

The only thing you can do is look downward, at the nightstand, the bedding, the far wall...anywhere that isn’t Lucas’ face right now

You don’t have it in you to accept his incredible kindness and heroic humility. You don’t even bother answering his question, except to mutter out, “thank you.”

 ~~~

 So what’s going on with Seungmin now?

Well, glad you asked

Cause you were just about to find out from a friendly sit down with three guest stars on the (Y/n)’s Chaotic Life show: Mom, Dad, and Officer Jenny

...No, not from the Pokemon TV series. Though you had to admit, the resemble was almost uncanny...not that this was anytime for jokes

“So,” Officer Jenny asks, pen and notepad in hand, “I’m sure you must be feeling many things right now, but let’s start from the beginning, if that’s alright. When did this all start?”

Your mom and dad just shared a look before turning to you, your mother gingerly patting and rubbing your knee. “Go ahead, sweetheart. Take your time.”

You take a deep breath and tell her everything you know. From the moment you first met Kim Seungmin, to the moment you first noticed him changing, to the events of some twenty-four hours ago. Your mother and father gave their piece as well, though really they claimed to be completely in the dark to any of Minnie’s chaotic and violent behavior, insisting he was always a sweet and well-behaved boy for as long as they’d know him. It was quite a shock finding out what he’d done.

Minnie…

…

Did you even still call him that? Would you? Could you?

He was practically a murderer. A complete psychopath. And you still had no idea why…

“So what do you think brought out this behavioral change?”

Your head snapped up from where it’d dropped downward, spacing out after having contributed your part of the story

Mom and Dad were glaring at you. Officer Jenny was waiting patiently.

But you had no idea what to say

Because you didn’t know

You didn’t

You didn’t…

...Did you?

Idiot.

바보

Does this sound familiar?

 “...I can’t do this anymore, (y/n)...not if you’re not going to listen to me or do as I say. It’s driving me crazy. Don’t you get it? Don’t you f***ing see how I feel about you? Have you really been so dense this whole f***ing time?!?”

“(Y/n). I need to know...tell me, do you…”

“...Do you feel the same way?”

 ...The part that scared you

The part that really scared you

Was that

You didn’t know…

 ~~~

 That night

After the talk show was wrapped up and everything was out in the open

Officer Jenny reassured your family that you were safe staying at home

Seungmin had been captured and a few officers had done a thorough investigation on your house to make sure there were no cameras or bombs or anything fishy like that

So it was essentially safe and there was no need to go the extra mile of changing identities and moving across the country

Except well

If you’re new to this story

You’re in for a bit of a shock because

Of course the author likes to shake things up :D <3

It wouldn’t be a story without something going wrong

And (Y/n) was just about to find out what that something was

It didn’t happen suddenly that night

Some time had gone by, about a week, maybe a week and a half

You were still pretty shaken up over the whole thing, and stuck in a mental state of Twilight Zone

You knew it was real but your brain almost refused to accept and process it

It was like a never-ending nightmare, too farfetched to be true

Because Lucas had to remain in the hospital for further examination and therapy, you brought all his school work to him

You’d taken a few days off yourself and then insisted you were fine to go back

You needed something to distract you from the reality

But, in reality, it only made it worse in some ways, students swarming you with questions and facility repeatedly asking if you were alright or needed a break

The only place you were allowed to go was the Student Council room, and Lord knows you did NOT want to be alone in that place again

Even though the school had already granted Lucas an extended leave of absence, he insisted you bring him a copy of your homework so he could “keep up with his studies”

But

In reality, he just wanted an excuse to see you. And you liked seeing him as well. It was nice to be in his company and check up on him, and he felt the same

When you weren’t at the hospital visiting and quote-quote “studying” with Lucas, you were either going through the motions on autopilot at school or sitting in your room, doing anything and everything to erase what had happened

That was, of course, easier said than done though

Often you found it hard being at home. It didn’t feel safe anymore knowing Seungmin had been here, so many times before, in the very room you sat in. Laughing with you, smiling, comforting or taking care of you…

He was everywhere. His laughter practically filled the walls and echoed down the corridors, his smile reflected in every glass sheen of sunlight

And when the lights flipped off, so did his expression. It was like you were reliving that horrific night all over again

You had to break out of there, your house and your mind

So you went to the park with a couple of new friends you’d made, Felix and Changbin. They were just as surprised as anyone else to learn what had become of Seungmin, and they’d actually been the first ones to shelter you and protect your privacy on your first day back, when your classmates started popping out of the woodwork to drown you in questions and condolences

As you may or may not have guessed, you’d gotten a new phone, during the Officer Jenny visit, along with a new number

After sh*t had really hit the fan, though, you’d become much less social, only registering your parents, Officer Jenny’s number by request, Lucas, and the day after, Felix and Binnie. Despite your previous crush on Jaemin, that had all but flown out the window and exploded upon colliding with a powerline, and you’re pretty sure after he heard what happened, he probably felt the same

And anyway, again, you’d become much less social since the whole incident. You really didn’t feel like talking to anyone unless it was your parents or these three boys. Maybe Jenny if there was some kind of emergency, which you sincerely hoped there wouldn’t be

...I’m pretty sure that covers everything

Yeah

So

You were now at the park with Felix and Changbin

Just strolling aimlessly, you in the middle with Felix to your left and Binnie on the right

Your two bodyguards

Felix, you’d come to find out, was a professional at taekwondo, which was nice

And though Changbin was rather on the short side, just his looks and voice alone was intimidating enough

So you felt relatively safe in their company, taking a quiet stroll at sundown

The park was mostly vacant save for a few late-evening joggers or cyclist passing by

Birds and squirrels and other wildlife were just getting settled in their nests for the night, the owls and probably a raccoon or two taking their place

The three of you walked at a steady pace, hands behind your back or shoved in your pockets as you stared straight ahead, at the sidewalk, or the surrounding forest life

...It was peaceful but a little awkward

Probably because you all had the same thing on your minds

Something you all knew you needed to talk about, but had been avoiding to spare an awkward conversation

Instead now there was nothing but Awkward Silence™

“So,” Felix spoke up after your second and a half time around, smiling awkwardly. “How are you feeling today?”

Both boys looked at you. You gave them each a short stare in return before shrugging just as uncomfortably. You knew you needed to talk about Seungmin, but you’d left your house to escape him, not engage him elsewhere.

After a few more paces you noticed the two had fallen a bit behind, muttering to each other in hushed tones:

“She probably doesn’t wanna talk about this right now. Why did you bring it up?”

“Yeah...I dunno, I didn’t know how else to break it in. Sorry...”

“Apologize to her, not me! We’re trying to ease it in, not break her.”

“That’s what I said, bro.”

“...No, you said-- never mind, just go do something.”

“Like what?”

“Like apologize! Am I the only one that knows how girls operate?”

“...Says the man that’s been single the entire senior ye--”

“Shut up and go talk to her!!”

At that point you heard a shove behind you, and Felix came stumbling back up to your left, Binnie steadily catching back up on the right. He gave you a calm and peaceful smile while occasionally casting eyes at Felix expectantly.

Felix took a deep breath while he scratched the side of his head, looking up at the sky for a second before tossing his whole gaze down on you. It almost caught you off guard how intense and smoldering it all was

“(Y/n)...listen, Changbin and I were thinking-- …”

He opened his mouth, but no words came. Instead he pointed toward the restaurant district of town. 

“...You wanna grab dinner after this?”

You blinked. Changbin facepalmed, a small groan escaping him.

But then all your stomachs growled, answering the question for you. You couldn’t help but smile, even just a little, as the other two laughed and the three of you headed off toward the nearby city lights.

Your phone gave a small ping! as a notification came up, but you failed to notice it thanks to the nearby rustling of what you assumed was active forest life, a stray cat or maybe a mouse

You had no idea how wrong you were.

 ~~~

 I know, things are starting to get a little slow

Just bear with me, okay?

Cause we’re about to pick up big time

Spoiler alert?

Oops

Anyway

You were now sitting at a small, quiet, but decently populated restaurant

There were a fair number of customers but it wasn’t overcrowded at all, more of a cozy cafe styled place

It was the compromise Changbin insisted you all agree on, he being the most vocally worried about your mental state. He didn’t want you to be overwhelmed by all the noise and chaos of some famous barbecue joint or a popular family restaurant, so after you insisted you could handle it and would be fine (he had been pitching the idea of just grabbing some food to-go and heading back to his place), the boys let you pick a cafe you often passed by on the way to school but never got a chance to try

...until now

Ironically and thankfully they were a particularly special cafe that served dinner because the author said so yeehaw B))

So yes, you’re all sitting at a small booth off to the side, Changbin on one end, you and Felix curled up on the other. You order your food and as you’re waiting, Changbin and Felix are locked in some dumb debate about a few of their other friends while flicking straw wrappers back and forth. They tried to get you in on it at first but, seeing that you’re still in a weird place, decided to leave the invitation open if you wanted to join.

Everything is just so weird right now. You’re still in the Twilight Zone. It just doesn’t seem real at all…

The whole spectacle refuses to leave your mind. You’re coming to accept you can’t get away from it no matter what you try.

Kim Seungmin, from the moment you met him, has always been a part of you. And he always would be. It was just going to be weird from now on because...because…

Ping!

Your phone again?

Honestly it had kind of been doing that a lot before but you’ve been ignoring it because, again, you’re not much for talking to people right now. Or getting involved with any social media events or news flashes or...or uh…

……………………..

Huh??

There’s...a message. From Lucas?

Bro when did he get his phone back tho

You’d been communicating through his mum and the hospital when you weren’t there cause patients can’t have phones so like

Nani the heck??

Wait

Maybe this was good

Maybe he was being discharged early

The treatment had gone well and--

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖧𝖾𝗒! 𝖨 𝗇𝖾𝖾𝖽 𝖺 𝖿𝖺𝗏𝗈𝗋.

Oh? A favor you say?

You were so there. You kinda owed Lucas your life after what happened.

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖮𝖿 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗋𝗌𝖾! 𝖶𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖼𝖺𝗇 𝖨 𝖽𝗈 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎? 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖳𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗄𝗌 :) 𝖶𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗇𝗈𝗐? 

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖨’𝗆 𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖺 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗉𝗅𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌. 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌? 

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖸𝖾𝖺𝗁 𝖼: 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝗇𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗌

> - > Bro why he wanna know tho--

Okay whatever

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖥𝖾𝗅𝗂𝗑 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖢𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖻𝗂𝗇? 

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖨𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗈𝗄𝖺𝗒 𝗅𝗈𝗅 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝗇𝗈 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒

………..

*gulp*

It’s not?

Why

Why isn’t this okay

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖶𝗁𝗒 𝗇𝗈𝗍? :𝟢 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖨 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗇𝖾𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝖾𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖢𝖺𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗇𝗈𝗐? 

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖴𝗁, 𝗒𝖾𝖺𝗁 𝖨 𝗀𝗎𝖾𝗌𝗌? 𝖢𝖺𝗇 𝗂𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗂𝗍 𝗍𝗂𝗅 𝖺𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖿𝗈𝗈𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗌? 𝖨 𝖼𝖺𝗇 𝖻𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾

Lucas is typing a reply as your food is being set down, the boys cheering and mouths watering while all you can do is nervously glare at your new phone.

Seriously, what was wrong with Lucas? He wasn’t in danger, was he?

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖨’𝖽 𝗋𝖺𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗌𝖾𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗇𝗈𝗐. 𝖯𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾. :(

…

Y’know, this don’t really sound like Lucas

All of this is hella sus sis

But you’re so worried about him anyway, and so distracted by the excuses running through your mind that he could be on medication or what if it really is an emergency that you instead grab your coat and are just about to tell Felix to yeet when something else catches your eye

Ooooooooh boy

Ooooooooh bro

Ooooooooh buddy

It’s uh

Well

All those previous notifications

They’re all news articles and the like, as you already had guessed they’d be

Most of them aren’t very important: Attorney so-and-so does this, City of Hoopla does that, Guy Catches Phone on Roller Coaster, band drops new album and it’s a huge hit, yada-yada-yada

But there’s this one

This one in particular

That nearly makes you break down and cry

I mean

You’re close to screaming sis

It’s pretty bad

You probably know what it is already

Yep: you guessed it

 KXX News: Local Malefactor Escapes [Your Town] Jail; Police Baffled

 ...Okay

Y/n

Y/n--

Don’t freak out y/n

Deep breath sis

Deeeeeeeep breath

Breath nice and deep now…

Oop too late you’re already panicking

Hell I would too sis :( This is some bad juju

But

It’s going to be okay

...Maybe

I mean

You are kinda having a panic attack right now?

But don’t panic bc it’s going to be…

...you just passed out so I’ll be switching povs now

I’ll sort of summarize too since this is about you and - h i m - anyway

Basically you totally black out, the restaurant/cafe panics a bit (the few people who happen to notice) but Felix manages to catch you (thank goodness you were still seated at the booth so you just toppled over on his shoulder more or less)

In five seconds Binnie and Felix come up with a game plan where Felix carries you outside, trying to look as natural as possible, Binnie taking care of the check.

They argue and walk laps around the cafe about whether or not to take you home or the hospital

Home

Hospital

Home?

Hospital!

But when you start to come to, they agree it’s best to get you home to your mother

You fall in and out of consciousness all the way there, the only thing flooding your mind being the faintest scent of lavender and Spring: and Kim Seungmin.

 ~~~

 You were honestly a little surprised when you finally woke up

You were sure seeing those words in that news headline, all in one coherent sentence, was going to be the death of you

I mean, he did want you dead, didn’t he?

He…

…

Sigh

You don’t know

You have no idea what’s really happening

A reoccuring theme in this story

You dunno

You just

Don’t

Know 

:)))

But it’s going to be okay because--

Ping!

SCREECH \(ϾAϿ)/ 💦

Bro

Bro man

Your phone almost gave you a heart attack

A real one this time

Oof

Oi

Oi vey to hell and back

All of this is really getting to be too much man

You dunno if-- ...well

We done went over this already

You don’t know anything anymore 🙄😔

I mean

What even is life anyway??

You roll over on your bed to snatch the phone on your nightstand, an eerie feeling in your gut

Whether that’s from the fact you’re still recovering or you’re terrified it has something to do with everyone’s favorite Dandy Boy is a toss up

It could also have been the few nibbles of food you’d managed to have before zonking out…

...actually no scratch that, you were still pretty hungry. Which was a good sign, honestly

It meant you were already recovering well and most likely not gonna die

(ღ˘⌣˘)

That was always nice, y’know, not dying <3

So anyway

You glare at the lock screen in the dark, the brightness blinding you for a moment as you’re squinting and fumbling to turn it down

And when you do

You see there’s another message

A message from Lucas 

Oop. You forgot about him in your whole fainting episode

Hope he’s okay--

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖸/𝗇. 𝖸𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗆𝗈𝗆 𝖼𝖺𝗅𝗅𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗈𝗅𝖽 𝗆𝖾 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗉𝖾𝗇𝖾𝖽. 𝖨 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎’𝗋𝖾 𝗐𝖾𝗅𝗅. 𝖸𝗈𝗎 𝗀𝗈𝗍𝗍𝖺 𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝖻𝗈𝖽𝗒 𝖻𝖾𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎’𝗋𝖾 𝗀𝗈𝗇𝗇𝖺 𝗀𝗈 𝗌𝗄𝗂𝗍𝗓𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍, 𝗁𝖺𝗁𝖺

e-e

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖨’𝗆 𝗌𝗈 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒, 𝖨 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗌𝖾 𝖨’𝗆 𝗈𝗄𝖺𝗒 

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖣𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝖾𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎?

It takes a minute for him to respond.

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖭𝗈, 𝖽𝗈𝗇’𝗍 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗂𝗍. 𝖸𝗈𝗎 𝗇𝖾𝖾𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗍.

And then…

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖨’𝗅𝗅 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎.

…

Uhhh

He’ll what now?

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖣𝗈𝗇’𝗍 𝗀𝗈 𝖺𝗇𝗒𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾. 𝖨 𝗐𝗈𝗇’𝗍 𝖻𝖾 𝗅𝗈𝗇𝗀.

UHHH

wat

Sis honestly

what?

Lucas you ho what are you doin you’re sick

Sorta

You on them drugs boy

You needa be staying yer ass in bed so you can--

Ping!

Again? 

Oh now what does this crazy bish want??

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖲𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒! 𝖩𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝖿𝖺𝗏𝗈𝗋 𝖨 𝗇𝖾𝖾𝖽 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝗒𝗈𝗎

Uh

Sure? What is it??

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖮𝗄𝖺𝗒?? 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: :)) 𝖳𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗄𝗌 𝗒/𝗇 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖦𝗈 𝗍𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖼𝗅𝗈𝗌𝖾𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝗉𝖾𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖽𝗈𝗈𝗋.

………………………………………………………….

Bro man

……

Okay you know what

This is a little too weird

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖨𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎? 𝗈𝗇𝗈” 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖸𝖾𝖺𝗁, 𝖼𝗁𝗈𝖼𝗈𝗅𝖺𝗍𝖾? 𝖨𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝗒 𝗅𝖾𝖿𝗍 𝗅𝗈𝗅

oooOOOOOH

Oooooh man what a relief

If you’ll recall

Cause ik it’s been a hot minute

In the last episode (Light Switch 1) it was Valentine’s Day

He just wants something sweet =7=” Bro you know that jello sh*t they serve in them hospitals must be nasty af

He just wants some good stuff is all

Who doesn’t want chocolate when they’re sick? Or sad?

But author eating chocolate when you’re sick isn’t good for you do you want to die

Hey bro bold of you to assume--

...anyway

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖮𝗁, 𝗈𝖿 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗋𝗌𝖾! 𝖨 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗅𝗈--

…

Hold on

Wait just another hot minute

…

Sis how he know you keep chocolate in your closet??

He wasn’t here when you shoved everything in there

Heck he ain’t ever been in your house once

…

Enough ellipses you’re just gonna go for it

Screw it

It’s just Lucas

He probs just assumed it was a cliche or normal thing to do

You really needed to stop overthinking things and just

Do It ✔™

So you do it

You walk to your closet and open the door

…

Well you start to anyway

On the way over something catches your eye now that your sight’s adjusted

You make your way to your desk, where a stack of letters and junk flyers are just sitting there taking up space and making the room look trashy

You’re easily distracted at times, and a bit nosy, so you pick up the first flyer on the stack to figure out what it is

Such-and-So’s Pool Service!1!1 We clean--

Yeah okay you don’t care

About that anyway

What you do care about, or what piques your interest rather, is the date

It’s labeled as being delivered almost two weeks ago

…

All of the letters and junk mail are labeled as being delivered two weeks ago

…

You’re about to set them all back down when you see something flapping beneath the gentle circulation of the ceiling fan

A Post-It note?

A Post-It note

It says…

   It doesn’t matter what it says

Because you’d recognize that handwriting anywhere, after all the notes he’d written you

It’s from Minnie 

𝐼 𝑡𝘩𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑑 𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑏𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩𝑡 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑖𝑙 𝑖𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝑀𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑢𝑐𝘩 𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑖𝑟𝘩𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑛𝑒𝑥𝑡 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒? ;) 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑙𝑦, 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑜 𝑙𝑎𝑧𝑦! -- 𝐾𝑆 <𝟥  

𝑃.𝑠. - 𝑀𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑎 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑒𝑥𝑐𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑥𝑡 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑎 𝑐𝘩𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑜𝑛 𝑚𝑒. 𝑁𝑜𝑡 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟. 

Deep breaths deep breaths deep breaths

He was here

He’d been here

He’d come here the night before--

He’d known

You were such a dumdum

Of course you should have known one of your parents would call. Probably your mom-

UGH

WHAT IS THIS LIFE OF YOURS?!

Okay

But

He was arrested so it’s fine

No wait

He got out

He…

...He got out ._.”

And you

Were

Home

Rn??

……………………

Okay time to get those chocolates and move move move

Just make a small right turn and

Ca-chunk.

……………………………………………………

The closet door just...opens

A familiar figure stepping out from the shadows

He’s wearing his favorite striped blue t-shirt and faded blue jeans

And he’s holding a rose between his teeth

He removes it with a muffled sigh, tossing it back into the closet

“I wanted to surprise you but, I should have known it’s just like you to get easily sidetracked.”

He shoves a phone into his pocket

Lucas’ phone.

He smiles.

“Did you miss me?”

 He paces over to you, touching your face

Stroking it softly with ghost-like fingers

It’s...cold and somehow oddly comforting at the same time

Sending you down a trail of mixed signals and warning signs all over again

But you can’t move

He’s backing you up against the desk--

Wait yes you can move

You gotta get out of here. Don’t think. Just get out.

Scream! Yell! Do something!

You scream. He places a hand over your mouth, shoving you back down against the desk. His breath is hot against your skin from where he hovers over you just inches, centimeters away…

...Maybe you should have gone for using a brain cell or two instead

“Why are you doing this again? Why do you have to be so difficult all the time?”

You’re struggling but he must have been hitting up the gym again cause this beach is strong

He’s rambling things to you under his breath, but with the pounding in your ears it’s hard to make out everything he’s saying

Oh dear Lord in heaven you have to get out of here

Use your brain cells y/n use your brain cells

PLS

He’s forcing you both to stand upright. He pulls you so hard that the momentum causes the desk to sway, a drawer popping open

A drawer containing your knife. The same knife Seungmin had given you.

He wanted you to sever some bonds?

Okay, you could do that alright

Braincells: Activate!

You go for it

Raising a knee to his xxxx, you shove him back with all your feeble might and snatch that bad boy, whirling around to slash your way out of here if you have to

But somehow Seungmin has become a Superhuman™ and he parries your attack, twisting your arms behind your back and slamming you back down onto the desk

You almost hear him grimace as you cry out in pain, like he’s in just as much turmoil as you

And before you know it a rag is held up over your face, Seungmin gently laying his cheek against yours. Somehow in the span of time all this was going on, he’d managed to throw a mask over his face...

“I’m so sorry, y/n...I never wanted it to come to this...I was hoping to take you quietly…

...But it’s also not my fault you’re so damn difficult all the time.”

Moonlight streaming in through the curtain was blurring together, your thoughts slowly growing more and more incoherent

A scream still caught in your throat, the last thing you recall is again the scent of lavender and Spring daisies. Except it was much stronger now, because that scent was now carrying you somewhere up, up, and away…

 ~~~

 The faint sound of laughter is what awakens you for the 47294907204 time

Seriously how many more times were you gonna clock out like jeez

Not to over exaggerate but man alive

…

……

………

You’re blinking up at the ceiling when it all comes back to you

Seungmin

Your room

Kim Seungmin

Your closet

Minnie

You being carried away somewhere…

It doesn’t take you long to throw yourself up right, but when you do you instantly regret the action, as a splitting headache takes hold of your cranial

It causes you to wince, reaching both hands up to grab your skull...which are, surprisingly...rather heavy…

…

Holy frick and frack you’ve been chained

Your wrists

There are cuffs around them

And you’re literally connected to a bedpost

…………

You swallow

This isn’t good

It’s not good at all

What the heck is going on now…?

You gotta examine your surroundings. You need to stop being in the dark all the time

Time to flip on a light switch brother

Let’s see

You’re sitting in a bed

Your bed

…

Wait

Your bed?

That can’t be right

You distinctly remember, despite the running gag of you not knowing anything, that Minnie had hoisted you off somewhere

He’d deadass climbed out the window or something

You look up and around next

…

It was unmistakable

This was your room: here was your bed, your bookshelf, your desk, TV, closet…

Even your stuffed animals and stationery was here. Exactly as you’ve always had it.

Except, normally your bed was on the right side of the room. Currently, it was on the left

So it was like

A parallel of your bedroom

A weird mirrored version, like you’d stepped through the looking glass…

...You supposed essentially, in some ways, you already had. Starting around high school.

Argh

This was really bad

You had to get out of here

Thankfully the chains were pretty long, so your movement wasn’t too restricted and you could move around for the most part as normal

If you had to guess, you could probably make it about halfway across the room before you ran out of chain

……

A thought you’d never thought you’d be having

Swiftly, you raise the sheets to check your legs

They’re free, save for a few bruises. Yours arms are in worse shape with twice as many and these damned heavy cuff links

This was honestly an outrage

And hella dehumanizing

You weren’t sure what was scarier: the fact that you were sitting in a mirror copy of your bedroom chained like an animal, or the fact that Minnie had done this

…

Seungmin

No more Minnie

He was Seungmin now

Maybe even just Kim

Because you would no longer have any ties to him after this

He was long gone now

It was over

Bam!

“Hahahahahahahaha!”

Oh gosh

IT REALLY IS OVER

HE’S HERE

WHAT WAS—

Wait was that laughter just now?

It sounded...familiar…

As in

Recorded

…

You strained your ears, holding your breath a moment

If you focused really hard

You could just barely hear it

Voices. Sound effects. More audio laughter.

Someone was watching TV

That or Seungmin had sold you to a circus act

Which might have been preferable actually because you really didn’t know if he wanted you dead or not

I mean

On one hand

Why would someone go to so much trouble to make an exact replica of your bedroom?

But on another

There were some major sickos out there…

And you really could never tell what he was thinking

…

No, no, no y/n

No tears

We’re not going to cry

Big girl pants big girl pants

We’re going to get ourselves out of here and hop on the first plane to a new country

Move to Switzerland and start a cute little sheep farm

Change your name to Olga

Marry a huge scary-looking huntsman that was actually very sweet

And spend the rest of your days baking apple pies and schnitzel and shaving wool from sheep to knit fluffy sweaters and sell them on the Swiss version of Amazon

Yeah something like that

Everything was going to be a-o—

“You’re awake.”

ACAHNDUSLILIAHDSLINUFARJDSA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

It’s Kim Seungmin

He’s standing in the doorway

You didn’t even hear the door open

He takes two steps in before pausing to admire what a mess you probably look like

Only to him, you’ve never looked more beautiful

You don’t know this of course, but in his mind: you’re stunning

I mean, absolutely breathtaking

Sitting here in the room he worked so hard putting together for you

Your hair a wind-blown bed-mangled mess the way you toss and turn in your sleep sometimes

The natural glow that radiates off your face when you’re not wearing any makeup

The shine from the rays of faint sunrise as they hit your tear-stained face

It’s a work of art

What he’s worked for since he first laid eyes on you all those years ago

He’s wanted this so badly for such a long time

And it’s finally happening

He’s finally gotten what he’s pined for all this time: you

All that time he took getting to know you, forming a bond, taking measurements and pictures and writing down numbers, formulating the perfect plan

It may not have gone exactly how he imagined it would, but it’d still produced the same results. You were now, finally, his. All that was left to do was to clean you of any ties you had to your past life, and then the war would be over. The climax had come and gone. It was all downhill from here.

He told himself over and over again, that this is what he’d wanted...but yet

A part of him felt almost guilty for some reason

Of course he was happy, but also

…

It this really what he’d wanted?

He wanted to celebrate

But

Though you looked so beautiful

He also didn’t like seeing you so sad

…

It was fine

You just had to get adjusted, that was all

It’s hard being whisked off from one place to another

In a few days you’d be all settled in and then you could both celebrate being happy and alone together

You’d realize what a wonderful thing he had done for the both of you and thank him

And he’d never have to worry about anyone touching you or so much as looking at you ever again

You’d be his special treasure

Something he’d be able to look forward to coming home to each and every day after he landed his dream job as a photographer

Of course, you’d never get to accomplish the goals you’d told him about for your life, but…

That wouldn’t matter after a little time had passed, once you realized you only needed rely on him from now on

And there would be lots of fun things to do at home, he’d make sure of it

He’d take good care of you, here at his father’s old cabin house

And no one would be any the wiser because his parents were scarcely ever home

They were never around, always traveling from one place to another. He’d learned to take care of himself when he was 13, and from then on had been fiercely and undeniably independent

He really hadn’t seen or heard from his parents since, they’d just left him with the house and sent monthly checks to take care of the bills. If he thought hard enough, the last memory he had of his mother was probably at an unexpected Christmas visit when he was 15

And after that, nada

So as one could guess, his life had been very lonely…

Of course, he’d normally preferred being alone and if he was bored, he had Felix and Changbin to check up on him

But that all changed the moment he laid eyes on you

Oh sure, he’d seen you before that fateful rainy afternoon. When he actually bothered showing up to class. But…

Catching you alone that day was like a sign to him

He’d been wandering the back alleys as he normally did

On his way home, he realized he’d forgotten one of his cameras at school

So he had to make a detour to get it

He really wanted to take some shots of the coming storm for a new collection he’d been working on

On the way over, it wouldn’t leave his mind that something was missing…

He needed a host, a muse, a character

Some sort of other life force to give breath to the photographs

They were fine as they were

But just fine wasn’t fine for him

He could do better

Surely there was something—

...Drat. They’d already locked the doors.

He’d have to hoist himself in through a window now—

 ...And there you were.

He couldn’t explain it

He’d seen you before, sure, rarely, on occasion. But you’d just been a passing figure in the sea of endless faces

Now you were more than that. You were the figure, the face, the missing piece he’d been searching for

But he knew how fickle the human race was. So he’d have to play coy and civil before going in for the kill

If he turned out not to like you, he could always toss you back out into the sea

But the moment he swooped down to catch you from that (minorly hysterical) fall, he’d felt it. The missing spark he’d been waiting for all along.

He couldn’t take his eyes away. You were simply too real, too alive, too beautiful and unwavering

Yet shy and clean and simple all the same

It was a perfect paradox

An acute conundrum 

And he was loving every second of it

He knew, in that moment, that he had to 

As cringey as it sounds

That he had to make you his

And now you were...almost

It was just a bit further before he reached the light at the end of the tunnel

He’d never be lonely or lost for inspiration again

Because he’d have you

And that was all he needed...

 𝑇𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑢𝑒𝑑...𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛 ♥

[glasyasbutch]

Time! Line! Asks! Roona: 2! Craving: 5! I make you be nice to Craving asmr!!! Ezra: 7! Gildy: 14! Tov: 8! Did I just go through your active characters page! Yes!!!! Go nuts king!!!

hee hee hoo hoo!!!!!!!!!! thank u rebekah!!!! (also thanks for the reminder to add gent and take off gildy from my active characters nnsfsdkl)

2. the timeline in which they never met who would become the most influential or important person in their life, or that person was taken from them before they were capable of forming memories.

Now this is an interesting one for roona, because they genuinely don’t have a single person in their life that i consider to be hugely influential. like, i guess at the moment you could say sepia man, for trapping her in black and white hell, or vinny, for talking her into taking that job.

but honestly, roona doesn’t form long-term attachments, and that’s not a sad thing for her! she enjoys the constant change, and she has plenty of good memories and people she considers friends, but she just doesn’t hang around any of them long enough to experience a lot of change that wouldn’t have otherwise occurred had she not been trying with that exact purpose.

so, in some ways, this timeline is pretty much identical to the one they’re in now. they float around from place to place without much regard for what they’re going to and what they’re leaving behind outside of following the trail of interest they’re currently on.

in other ways, removing any one person from their life would disrupt the timeline just as much as anyone else, because every single place she’s been and person she’s met has tweaked her path in life just a little bit. roona functions like a domino snake, falling moment to moment to moment and not able to see ahead because theres the thing thats happening right now in the way, but if you turn one domino even a little, you might miss the next one entirely and stop the trail right then, or skip to another area. so picking any random person to remove from her life very well could mean that alternate universe roona is still on the material plane, across the country from where they and vinny last were, a college of whispers bard multiclassed with rogue posing as a cleric just to get better gossip.

roona lives her life unchanged, yet utterly changed, and always random.

5. the timeline in which they continue on from the current point in their life to the best happy ending within their reach, where nothing that has happened so far is negated, but the happy things start piling up

craving’s backed herself so far into a corner that there’s no happy ending for her without some strife first. so we’ll get that out of the way.

the party finds out who her patron is. maybe judhas lets it slip, maybe she gets drunk again and spills it to val in a heart to heart about their devil cult trauma, maybe the morning lord sends manic and message and she can’t bear to lie to him when he’s sitting right next to her and asking so sincerely what she did to try and let him walk the high road.

and she cries. she cries, and she screams, and she pushes people away, and she retreats beneath her own skin and tries to hide because she knows this is her fault but she cannot admit she fucked up because she has to believe in what she’s doing if she’s going to see it through.

but someone snaps her out of it. someone gives her an exit. someone (or several someones) vow to stand by her side without judgement and get her out of this mess no matter the cost because they don’t believe that she’s as hopelessly damned as the rest of the world.

they break out of barovia first and foremost. they stab that vampire bitch right through the heart.

she gets to tell judhas to fuck the hell off, and god does it feel good.

then, she discovers the location of sirris’ true soul, that it is not in hell, and she has no reason to have her pact anymore, and she finds a way to break it, even against the queen of loopholes.

she runs into stella again, a free woman, and its been so damn long since they saw each other. they both had their trauma turned on them to manipulate them into subversion and they both are tearing that control apart from the inside. so they clean each others wounds and kiss each other’s bruises and craving finally says “i love you” because god damn it, she does, and she knows stella already knew, but her star deserves to hear it.

manic has a happy ending too, because he and craving are too close for her to have one without him. he sticks with the morninglord, i think. this god seems good for him, even if he won’t really be your typical preacher-type paladin. he probably finds love again in val. if not romance, at the very least family. at least one of her and manic gets a cat again.

craving lives her life supported, wanted, and free.

7. the timeline in which they never experience the loss that taught them something important

this is actually pretty similar to #1 that morgan gave me for him (timeline for ideal life) but i’ll give a quick thing.

the loss was cate’s death, and it taught him that the world is ultimately uncontrollable, even by the gods. at first it made him angry, that he was lied to, and he didn’t want to trust in anyone for fear that he’d be let down. he took five years to start calming down, and then it began to transfer into making him overly kind, because if all he can control in this world is himself, he wants that part to be as welcoming as possible.

so, in a world where cate doesn’t die, he never becomes disillusioned and reillusioned with the idea of devotion. he simply grows in his trust of tamara. his power increases, he becomes a staple of the temple, he lives a happy life inside its battered walls.

i would posit that he might actually be less compassionate in this timeline. not that he’s mean, he’s a very dedicated paladin of a mercy goddess. but, ultimately, he believes that mercy is a given in the world. he believes in tamara’s ability to force it to occur, and that he is simply a conduit. so he makes less effort to cultivate it himself. kindness is no longer a conscious choice that he has to make, and perhaps, that means it falls slightly more to the wayside.

ezra lives his life secure, confident, and devout.

14. the timeline in which they take a chance they didn’t in canon

i’m gonna do a real throwback here, to gildy’s first campaign that lasted ... less than 10 sessions. I think it was a total of like 6. 

in our second session, we met this old man who lived in the middle of nowhere and everyone thought he was super weird because he would go out in the mornings and sweep dust off his lawn and carry it inside. gildy asked him what he was doing and he revealed that this was actually ash, floating over on the wind from a near-ish-by volcano with a connection to the fire plane. he mixed the ash in with clay to create enchanted pottery.

now, playing an elderly 3d artist, i really wanted to flirt with this other elderly 3d artist, but the dm said no because we’d never come back to this town. but, in the timeline where gildy couldve done whatever the fuck she wanted because she wasn’t constricted by a meta-plot, she would’ve tried really hard to get to know this guy!

she would’ve asked to learn some pottery, her hands still work just fine even though her knees don’t always. she’s used to shaping metal, which fights back. she’d love to learn to shape clay, which almost moves before you do. (she might have tried to do the ghost pottery scene with this dude. she knows what’s up). 

there was a nice smithy in town too, made all kinds of weapons and armor. she would’ve taken up apprenticeship with them and hopefully become one of their artisans. and i think she would’ve had a wonderful time there! a new city, with new people, a new love of her life, all the creation she could ask for at her fingertips, a life that hasn’t grown stagnant even after 270 years. there’s also, if i remember right, a mountain nearby. she does get a little homesick from time to time, the view helps. 

gildy lives her life reimagined, shared, and satisfied.

8. the timeline in which they gain everything they want, except for the thing they wanted most

i think this is actually the timeline he’s in right now!!!!!! he wants more than anything to go back home and be forgiven. i don’t think that’ll happen. even if he does reconcile with rax eventually, he’ll have been gone too long for the clan to feel like home in the same way, and i don’t think either rax or him will ever be able to forget what happened, just build a new relationship around it.

but, he has friends now, which he never thought he would. and a house. with a business under it! what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he’s doing good for the city. he’s part of an order dedicated to righteousness and law. he’s an upstanding citizen!

and. of course. he has savra. he has the potential for unconditional love, for family, for future, everything he thought he’d get back from rax one day, but probably won’t. he’ll fall in love with her before he even knows it, (he’s already started), and when he finally realizes, he’ll feel more okay with it than he ever thought he would be, because she knows what its like to feel shame and she knows how to grow past it. 

he’ll be her good man, and a good father eventually, and he won’t even need to go back home anymore (even though he’ll want to, he’ll always feel a bit of guilt that the half-dragon babies only know their human grandparents, and he’ll miss the summer festival food because you just can’t get the right spices in waterdeep even if he and savra try to cook the meals themselves, and he’ll miss the way his brother punches his arm when he laughs because savra never does that, and -). but he’ll have a home in ways he never thought a home could be, but he likes them, and he’s happy, truly, even with the shadows that still curl around the corner of his heart. 

tov lives his life long, useful, and good.

[honeyjaws]

im gonna scream u know. questionarie!!! lua and arthur!!! i efbsnmdakjsdn

@koalateamusings​ @lauriejuspeczyk​ r just out to get me

1. How did they first meet?

in St Denis at a bar lmao. he finds Bill and Lua and Vi after they saved Bill’s ass on a job that went awwwwwry. Bill’s fucken sloshed and like ‘they gotta come with us they would be useful aorthur’ and Arthur would be like ‘.... I GUESS’ and Lua n Vi are like cheers i’ll drink to that.

2. What did they think of each other at first? What was their first impression of the other?

Lua thought he was fucking handsome but quiet as alll hell a little awkward lol. also guarded; she’d wanna ask about the things he’s writing and drawing in his journal but wouldn’t ask because she feels it’d cross some boundary with him. Arthurrrrrrrr would draw her (like he does everyone its no big shut up!!!) and write something about how she’s new but he’d like to know her, he’s liked how he is around her and hopes that lasts. also she’s pretty sure sure.

3. Were they immediately interested / attracted, or did that come later?

UM like! yes and no! attraction was TOTAAALLLLY there but they both have,,, issues (because u fucking know Arthur is there like ‘well im fucking ugly’ and everyone else in the world is like ??? ??? but anyway) and so nothing actuallllly substantial happened until Arthur almost died in Guarma because of course it takes a big dramatic event for them to accept their,,,, feelings. crazy kids!!!

4. Why did they fall for each other?

just because~~~~

ok but like Arthur is the nicest and most genuine person Lua’s ever met and when she finally does ask about his journal she asks if he draws places he’d like to go one day because lord knooows she would love to be anywhere but the camp and he tells her he only draws what he knows and she says maybe it’s worth leaving to see more and when he tells her that if she left he’d go too she believes him and thinks maybe they could get away from all this and find something that fits and works for them in the world that’s changing and shifting away from the type of life they lead far faster than they can keep up with. maybe when arthur takes a moment to brush a feather or a flower or dried fucking grass out of lua’s hair and uses it as an opportunity to tuck her hair behind her ear and be close to her for a moment he doesn’t think he should have, a moment he’s feels he’s stealing from her, he knows that when she tells him he’s a good man she’s sincere and he wants so badly to believe it when it comes from her lips so in that moment he does.

did this answer the q? no! it’s just because!!!

5. Who flirted more before they started their relationship and how?

Lua lol. But that’s also kind of just how she is as a person. but with Arthur she’d actually mean it lol. He would make his self-deprecating comments about how he’s super ugly or a bad baaaad man she’d say he’s far from it.

6. Who made the first move/confessed first?

um it was a mutual thing u know. Arthur’s like basicalllllly dead and sun roasted on a horse returning from Guarma w a fresh case of TB and i have to pause a moment brb

ok right so with Lua seeing Arthur not dead like she thought is fucking overwhelmed by what she’s feeling and rushes to hug his crispy ass and when all their excitement and the Big Energy from that has passed Lua says “i love you, just. by the way. I’m glad you’re back” and Arthur responds by holding her face and telling her how when he was out there he kept thinking that one of the first things he needed to do when he got back was tell her that he loved her because he didn’t want to die without telling her. hmmm foreshadowing wrow.

7. When did they have their first kiss and under what circumstances?

one time when they were drunk and they didn’t talk about it after don’t worry about it mind your business, they did so why cant you???

8.  Which one is more easily made jealous?

I honestly cannnnot see Arthur being a jealous type because he’s got that self esteeeeem issue problem and would go for some self-deprecating shit before jealousy like “yeah there’s someone out there better than me, I don’t blame her”. so i guess the answer there is Lua?? but at the end of the day i dont see them caring too much because they’ve gotttta make up for lost time lol.

9. What do they fight about? Who’s the first to apologize?

haha after Arthur Realizes™ how he feels about Lua they go on a heist and she gets hurt but hides it until they’re back at camp and he gets so! mad! when he finds out he snaps at her like ‘what if it were worse what if she didnt make it back?’ and then Realizes™ part 2 that he was just scared of losing her and apologizes but doesn’t go into big big detail because this is stillll before anything actually significant has happened w them and they’re both like “oh my feelings couldn’t possibly be requited and therefore are not real.”

10. Did they have a first date? Where did they go?

not realllllly the closest thing would be pretending to be newlyweds on a heist n_~

11. What do their friends and family think? Do they approve of the relationship?

ALL PARTIES APPROVE LMAO. e v e r y o n e  knew how they felt about each other before they did and would try to get them to admit it especiallllly Vi and Rosa!!! they’d tease Lua like “ADMIT IT U IDIOT” and she’d be like “shut up Kieran is,,, weird and John smells like a horse!!!”

Most importantly tho Hosea thinks it’s good and that they’d be able to make a nice life together. lol.

12. Do they like to cuddle/hold hands? Do they prefer to do it privately rather than in public?

FUCKING YA FUCK. catch Arthur and Lua at the campfire w Arthur’s arm around her or just ~*cozied up*~ because time is fleeting bitch :~)

13. How long do they wait before sleeping together for the first time (If they do)? Under what circumstances does it happen?

i just said time is fleeting!!! but also ok like! they’re drunk one night, shortly after Lua and Vi join the gang, and the night ends w just them at the campfire and some romantic (but like when youre just meeting someone and ur drunk and like sure romance lol) shit happens. lua’s like ‘just dance with me it’ll be fun! there’s no one around!’ and arthur, reluctant, is like ‘well alright’ but he’s smiling he’s content and then they have a really sloppy night together that afterwards neither of them acknowledge for a long long while. after theyre like fucken weird around each other for a bit. Lua obviously tells Vi and then Rosa because she caannnnot keep that secret for long but what she can do for a long is deny any feelings she has for Arthur lol. Things stop being weird when she tells herself it was just a one night thing and Arthur isn’t into her like that. Put it in a box amirite n_~

14. Who tops?

oh my god

15. Do they get married? Who proposes & how?

cruel cruel world must i go on

16. Do they have children? How many? What are their names?

cruel cruel world im gone

[isobel-thorm]

Don't kill me, but all the fruits for grant and alistair please 💕

Also just noticed @troyebakers asked for all for Grant too, so here y’all are:

Let me apologize to mobile users now bc this is probably just gonna be a giant wall of strewn together nonsense for them. Switching around the order of the questions to make it flow a fair bit better. 

🍍  :    how comfortable is my muse in their body? how do they feel about their height,  weight,  strength,  and body type?  how important is being attractive to them?  

🍑  :    how meticulously does my muse look after their physical appearance?  do they spend a lot of time on their hair,  makeup,  grooming,  and clothing?  is there a particular reason why they do or don’t?  Grant:  Grant is basically okay with how he looks. He doesn’t exactly like his appearance, but he doesn’t hate it either, nor does he think it’s that important. The only thing he’ll really fuss over is his hair, and his idea of fussing is brushing it but letting the bedhead win a lot of the time.  Same goes with how he dresses- if a pair of jeans and T-shirt are discarded on the floor one night and they’re not in bad condition/they don’t smell, he’ll wear them again. Alistair:  He’s a little fussy with it. He knows most people find him attractive but he’s not that invested in it. Living for multiple centuries does that to a guy. He’ll make sure he’s neatly put together daily and that’s that. He does usually try to dress nicely though. His casual is a nice sweater, well-fitting leather jacket and dark jeans. He tends to call it ‘professorly.’ 

🍅  :    how does my muse feel about plastic  /  cosmetic surgeries   &   procedures?  is it something they have done or would do?  do they mind if others do it?  Both: Both of them are usually in the “why do people do that, it’s not necessary, people age, it’s a fact of life” side of things- with Alistair noting “except for me” in that last bit. They’d never dream about getting anything done themselves. 

🍏  :    how stable is my muse’s physical health?  do they go for regular or semi-regular checkups by a physician?  do they have any diagnosed illnesses and / or take any medication?  how often do they get sick?

🍎  :    how stable is my muse’s mental health?  have they been diagnosed with any mental illnesses and  /  or conditions?  do they have any undiagnosed mental illnesses and  /  or conditions?  do they or should they attend therapy?    Grant: He’s usually physically healthy and tries to stay that way. Mentally, he’s a mess and tries to get help, but it’s not lost on him that talking with Nic and getting hugs from her works better for him than an actual therapist half the time. Alistair:  Fit as a fiddle permanently, if you don’t count the whole living undead thing. He’s also fairly mentally stable himself, and he’s had a vested interest in Psychology the last century, which helps things. 

🍒  :    how much does my muse value companionship?  do they constantly keep people around them,  or do they prefer to be alone often?  do they have or desire to have many friends?  do they see every meeting as an opportunity to make a new friend?  Grant: After what happened during his time as a soldier, Grant got it in his head that he was bad luck for anyone around him, so he tried to stay solo for as long as possible and didn’t actively make friends. Enter Nic and Matthew/John, and it was another story. They didn’t really give him an active chance to tell them to leave him alone so they wormed their way into his heart, which helped his mental state so he was able to pursue a friendship with them and then a relationship with M/J, which healed him enough where he was a little more outgoing/willing to meet and befriend other people. Alistair: Nearly the same deal. He was also fairly anti-friends because people only usually gave him the time of day to get in his family’s good graces. He was very apprehensive about making friends because he figured once they got what they wanted they’d leave him, considering that happened a lot. And then Kat and the others came along and made him feel wanted, and while he still has that distrust of people outside that group, he would die (again) for every single person in their friend circle.

🍇  :    how would my muse describe their childhood?  how much has it impacted the person they are now,  or will become as an adult?  around what age did they or will they start to mature,  and why?  do they wish to go back to their days as a child,  or have they embraced adulthood?  Grant: He had a lonely childhood, his parents did take care of him, but were also fairly neglectful and paid more attention to their business than him. When the whole ‘bi but leaning more towards being romantically interested in men’ thing came to pass his parents sent him off to live with his gay uncles which ended up being the best experience of his life because he finally got active attention/parental figures who genuinely cared about his day or interests for once. The first half of that, however, prepared him a lot for his self-exile after coming home from overseas, but it also planted the idea that there was a silver lining somewhere in life, which he found in his friends. The only way he’d want to relive his childhood is if he was with his uncles the entire time. Alistair: Looking back, Alistair acknowledges that his mother raised him to be a spineless, pompous ass. Him becoming a full vampire/getting some distance from the family when he turned thirty was the turning point where he acknowledged that ‘oh hey, a lot of this shit is messed up.’ He wouldn’t relive his childhood at all. 

🍐  :    how intelligent is my muse overall?  are they smarter than the average person,  or less than?  are they primarily self-taught,  or did they acquire most of their knowledge in school?  are they more street smart or book smart?  Grant: He never went to college, he joined the Army straight out of high school, so he’s got an extremely basic… standard education. He’s more street smart than anything, and considering That Day, he got a lot of “that’s the how the world works, it’s unfair” type lessons from that tragedy. Alistair: He’s extremely intelligent. He went to college for law, but in the centuries since he’s found modern law is a little too corrupt for his liking, so he went into veterinary science and then studied Psychology on his own just to pass the time. 

🍉  :    which of the four seasons suits my muse best,  and why?  Both:  Winter. Their personalities and wardrobes match it more, and they both enjoy the aesthetic of it the most. 

🍌  :    is my muse inclined to help others,  or will they only do it when it benefits them,  if at all?  what makes them this way?  has it ever gotten them into trouble,  or inconvenienced them? Both: Will help others at the drop of a hat for entirely selfless reasons. They both figure they’ve got awful pasts to make up for, and if little acts of kindness and paying it forward is how they can go about it, so be it. 🍊  :    does my muse desire romance?  is it something they would actively seek out,  or prefer to happen more  ‘  naturally?  ’  what is their love life like?  do they have any exes or past flings,  or crushes?  Grant: Was very anti-love/anti-thinking-he-deserved love, but then Matt/John came along and was charming and nice and patient and his heart was all “alright get your shit together because T H I S   O N E   I S      F O R   Y O U.” Because of that, he’s an absolute mush with his LIs, which is a surprise to everyone outside his immediate friend circle because “wait the stoic guy likes cuddling and talking with faces a couple of inches apart and getting all romantic on holidays?” Alistair: Got his heart shattered into pieces by his first love early in his life, so he was reluctant to ever start anything romantic ever again, but then he fell for Kat platonically, which kick-started his heart back up to be willing to go pursue someone romantically - and then said heartbreaker comes crashing back into his life and then it’s a 50/50 clusterfuck again and he’s not quite sure what to do. 🍓  :    how is my muse typically seen by others?  does it ring true to who they really are?  does their reputation matter to them? Grant: Doesn’t give a damn about his bad stoic/wide/intimidating reputation. He’s not here to be judged, and if people wanna judge a book by its cover, fine, that’s not his problem. He’s got a handful of friends who love him because they bothered to get to know him, he’s invested in them. Alistair: Used to care very strongly about reputation and yearned to be alluring/scary/intimidating all at once, but he learns that was a lot of his mother’s influence, so he goes out of his way to nice people to death so he gets a far more welcome, warm, friendly reputation to make sure it sticks. It makes him stop caring about it so actively/doesn’t make it a staple in his life anymore.

🥝  :    does my muse have any  ‘  unusual  ’  habits, interests,  and  /  or talents?  do they hide it,  or are they proud of it?  Grant: Nothing special at allAlistair: He’s a hemophobic vampire, so he doesn’t go out on hunts with his family- nor does he feed on humans unless it’s necessary. He uses his resources as a vet to ‘feed’ on animals- where he’ll only feed feed if there’s a time crunch, but even then he only takes a standard blood test’s amount and tries to make it last- and he’ll even coach the animal through it, promising that he means it no harm, they’ll be safe in a minute, “Awww, we’re done, see, that wasn’t so bad. Good job, here’s some extra biscuits/cat treats/veggies, you did so well.” 

🍋  :    what kind of diet does my muse have?  do they eat regularly,  or the standard 2-3 meals a day?  do they have to be reminded to eat,  or are they likely to remind others?  do they cook,  or have others cook for them?  do they eat healthily,  or not so much?  Grant: Unless depression is kicking his ass, he’ll eat balanced meals regularly, with the usual 3x a day. If he does have a day of depression where he misses a meal or so when Nic or John/Matthew is around, they’ll notice and try not to be too forceful about it but they’ll also make a meal with him and try to goad him into eating it, and it usually works. Alistair:  Also keeps up with regular meals 3x a day, considering he tries to make human food work as much as possible to avoid interacting with blood in any capacity. If worse comes to worse he’ll cook up/order a super bloody steak and have it, wincing all the while. 

🥭  :    how important to my muse is their hometown,  or where they’re from?  are they proud of it,  or considered a hometown hero? did they move away,  or do they wish to?Grant: Grew up in Texas, and mentioned, he hated it so he avoids going back. He considers Wyoming/his uncles’ ranch home and would live there if he could, but then the job in Hope County came along, and he sticks there for a while and he’s happy, but maaaayyyybbbeee he’d consider dropping hints to John/Matthew that settling back in Wyoming could be nice if they’d be up for it. He’d be okay if they weren’t, though. They could always vacation there, and it’s enough. Alistair: Grew up in the downtown area of [CITY REDACTED] and has a hate/love relationship with it, so when Kat comes along and he joins that crew where they’re on the outskirts of town by the bay, he absolutely falls in love with the weird suburbia feel and makes plans to move there nearly immediately. 

[saltine-kakyoin]

🎶 and jotaro and also kakyoin AND another character..whoever u want ;)

oho… you’ve sent me another message? you know what comes next bro, u brought this upon yourself….this is us now man

anyhow, AH. thos boys…god this one is gonna be so difficult because I have So Many Songs that are tied to them. as for the other character, i think i will do my boy sergio because i really need to share my brainstorming songs for him before i explode! :0 thank you again for sending these in, bro!! have a good night, ily! c:

this will be long bc i always ramble..i will be tagging this as long post for mobile gang!

Jotaro:

thom- i hate to start this off with a jotakak-themed song because i know some people Despise jk. i’m sorry for y’all who do, but ahh this song has been stuck in my head for days now! :’( In terms of the SDA, i always think of this song as like…jotaro’s bittersweet journey w his feelings for kak. it’s something about the like, ghostly windchimes in the beginning, the phone buzzing in the bg, and the “please don’t run away”s man, ahhh. I listen to this song a lot when brainstorming him coming to accept that friendship is as far as he and kak go. However,“ The pitter patter gave a rather rinse and lather feeling/ As opposed to shitty attitudes that made me bitter after laughter/ And I dearly regretted it” really makes me think of pt. 4 jotaro in any context. We only see the end result of his development from SDC, but like hhh… do you think he regrets being so gruff? I think of that 1 fanart where he’s looking at the group picture + hoping they knew he wasn’t annoyed by them (or something along those lines, i forget the exact line…ahh)

something’s missing- So, ofc not all parts of this song apply.. and truthfully, I listen to this song while thinking of the immediate period after the crusade in the SDA and how the crusaders are all left with this hole in them (..@kakyoin literally.. i’m sorry i had to. also, abdul is the hole). Out of all of them, though, I always think of Jotaro the most w this song- “My dad asks, ‘Were you okay out where you were stranded?’ How do I tell him that I wasn’t just okay… I was so much better?” LIKE DAMN THAT IS ONE (1) KUJO JOTARO… :( i think he comes back from the crusade and just feels.. severely misplaced. Going back to Japan and the girls following him to school every morning feels so alien to him.

tempest rhapsody- this song is just… *chef kiss* It makes me think of like. star platinum’s first manifestation, and of the emotions one would feel during a 50-day crusade to a place you’ve never been before, where you run the risk of death at least once a week…how would it feel to know if you got seriously injured in a fight, there would be a very real possibility that your *cough* dearly beloved *cough* mother could die? this song is my answer to that question

only in sleep- another choir song! i cannot help myself. This one is more for canon Jotaro. I’ve read a few fics about the universe reset where he’s reunited with the other crusaders one last time before everything becomes nil, and…..augh. “The years had not sharpened their smooth round faces, I met their eyes and found them mild — Do they, too, dream of me, I wonder, And for them am I too a child?“ is imo such a jotaro 4 am deliberation

softly- THIS. this was the Original jotakak song, no offense thom. i used to listen to this song on REPEAT while reading nessun dorma, ahhh. so much of the sda jotakak dynamic is shaped from that fic and this song, hghshg. Anyhow, now that I’ve worked on the development of their relationship in the sda, this song is most definitely a song for the jotaro who unknowingly pines in 3rd year and then comes to realize that ah…these are Emotions during uni. during their third year, jotaro and kakyoin do a ton of self-exploration, and spend more than one night floating in the pitch black void of the ocean talking about what they’re going to do after graduation with only the stars to accompany them. they lose this when jotaro goes to florida for uni + kakyoin paris, but they make up for it by calling each other all the time, so “Touch you softly I call you up late at night” made this song an instant hit in my book ghshghw. I adore this song, through and through. ;u;

post-published honorable mention bc i rediscovered him while i was workin on polnareff’s playlist!! DOLLY ZOOM is another really good song for pining jotaro. in the sda, he feels really Horrible about having a crush on kakyoin for a long time because he and his family (that is phrased weird, i am sorry) are the entire reason kakyoin got a hole punched right through his abdomen and spine. they’re the entire reason kakyoin spent months learning how to walk and use his legs again. he doesn’t do anything except bury his feelings because, to him, it’d be Really selfish to do otherwise. i listened to dolly zoom nonstop when i started writing Jotaro’s Decade-Long Yearn because it captures the guilt really well, ahh.

Kakyoin (it is 1:24 am as i’m starting this… let’s see how long i agonize over this part lmao)

ultraviolence- ahh, ze Mindworm Song. I really despise diokak and the fact that he had to spend like…3-4 months with the mindworm just chilling in his brain, but I can’t ignore the fact that he latched onto dio’s friendship and was initially elated to have that whole thing happen. It haunts Kakyoin in canon, and it Most Definitely haunts him in the SDA, and i think he and jotaro have a lot of conversations about how and why and what that whole experience was like. I always end up coming back to this song when brainstorming this year in the au. The beginning just sounds so lonely, and the background choir/ voices really give me the heebie jeebies. Then, there’s the build-up to the beat drop, which really make me think of like. what being mindwormed could feel like? And how it must feel to be so lost in that sauce that you become a passenger in your own mind, lost to the whim of one super manipulative vampire, augh. “You give me love, you know you give me love with your ultraviolet rays” ties into a few of FKA Twigs’ other songs where she sings about not being enough and really obsessively deriving love from someone whose attention is ultimately really harmful and unhealthy, and I think about that and Kakyoin a lot. :(

sound and color- so truthfully, this is my go-to song for any character that dies/almost dies and comes back, or goes through a Huge Life Change. kakyoin fits both of these bills to a T! this song makes me think of getting used to being around such a rowdy but tight-knit group of people who genuinely care about you All Day Long after spending your entire life in isolation. I always think of like, a happiness montage when the second half of this song comes around, and the montage i daydream about for kak during that section is *chef kiss* Sound + Color is like one of the best songs ever, and it’d be a crime to not have a kak setting for it. 

first love/late spring- fellas, here’s the kakyoin equivalent to jotaro’s softly. this song was IT, back when the sergio-divergent au and the “All the Crusaders Live” au were two separate things. back then, kakyoin and jotaro’s realization that oh, fuck, they really meant the entire world to each other happened much earlier in the plot. Looking back on that now makes me squint, but I do think that this song is still really fitting for kakyoin exploring those feelings- friendship is one thing, but romance is something entirely different and a lot more intimate. i think it’s a tug-of-war for him, between wanting to jump in to those feelings and wanting to run far far away from them because he doesn’t want to be wrong and ruin their friendship. good times in the kak hole

last words of a shooting star- I really love the bastard fucker side of kakyoin that is explored and celebrated in our fanon, but I can never shake the fact that some of his last thoughts were of his parents (and i think he was sorry for making them worry? which… baby…) and that his polite, “outwardly anxious” presentation was this big facade for like.. the Deep and Soul-Wrenching loneliness he felt because he was a stand user? The first stanza and “They’ll never know how I’d stared at the dark in that room/ With no thoughts” make me think of kakyoin deeply- if his family had never gone to egypt and he’d never met dio or jotaro, what would have happened to him? Who would he be? i’ve always been super attached to that part of kak bc fundamentally… I Relate. but also i am just fond of it because it makes me sob- he deserved so much better than to get murdered by the same man who manipulated his entire identity right at the climax of his character arc….some crimes can never be forgiven, hirohiko….

vertigo- i don’t listen to this song for kak often, but it is a Quintessential Kakyoin song. according to khalid’s twitter, vertigo is a song about “Overcoming overthinking. After every dark days, there’s a brighter outcome. Being at a super low place in your life and realizing that, there’s other people going through that same path you’re walking down. There’s always light at the end of the tunnel. It’s also a story about fear of abandonment.” which….Big Kakyoin Energies. The “Are we alive?Or are we dreaming?” part also ties back into the Kakyoin Parties in a Coma for a Month arc- your mind has a wild wild time when you’re in a medically induced coma, theoretically because it’s trying to fill in the blanks for all of the stuff you’re sensing? And coming out of a medically induced coma is a bizarre experience, where it’s hard to tell if you’re still in the coma and just imagining things or if you’re actually awake. Kakyoin has a mad time in the month immediately after SDC, one that i’m sure he doesn’t enjoy too much after the death 13 fight.

honorable mention goes to i am not yours- this has been a kak song to me for a long time as well. the context of the song is way different from my interpretation for this setting, but AH. I just think kakyoin really struggles to differentiate and understand romantic feelings. This song really reminds me of that struggle, and I think also touches nicely on like. the identity issue of it all too.. “yet i am i, who long to be” yanno? ; J ; it’s hard for me to explain

another honorable mention, my statue sinking. in the sda, after the events in egpyt, kakyoin is thrown into a coma for like an entire month while his body gets operated back together, and then he spends months in physical therapy learning how to walk w a prosthetic spine (kudos to cyborg speedwagon being a reverse engineering madman :D). i like to imagine that there’s also some degree of therapy going on this whole time, also. you don’t just get donuted + thrown into a coma for a month without some counseling to get you back on your feet..i think the lasting effects of dio’s influence are addressed here, but only briefly because it’s not something kakyoin is eager to explore. however, I think that this song captures the like... distress? i guess? of knowing that your life has been irreparably thrown off course because of dio. like yes, you met some really wonderful people that helped you learn how deeply healing friendship could be! but also.. you lost months of your life to mind control, and then another month to a coma, and then additional months to training your body to function again....there’s some psychological stress there. While I think that Jotaro and Polnareff are affected the most by the crusade, I think they all emerge from it with some degree of ptsd. Being targeted by complete strangers at all times of day cannot be good for your mental health, you know? Anyhow, I think My Statue Sinking captures that aftermath feeling really well. Everyone survives and recovers from the crusade, but there’s a part in all of them that is lost to Egypt. 

on to sergio!! (it is now 2:04 am lmaooooooo) sergio will be easy because I only ever listen to the same handful of songs when I’m writing him hdhgh

i will come to you- this is THE sergio song. i think of this song every time i write about him, whether it’s the “believe in me…” “also believe in me” lyric exchange that i imagine he has with both tomoko and holly; the “and i will pray to my father…my father…and he will abide” part being about him reaching out to joseph with his final breaths and spilling all of the beans about dio and begging him to finish things so that Tomoko and Josuke, the Kujos, and he and Suzi can be safe; the “foreeever……foreee-eever.. forever..” part being where he dies and his soul passes into the next realm.. “even the spirit of truth [golden prophet] whom the world [..yeah..] cannot receive, because it seeth him not [bc suad defects and buries sergio instead of bringing his dead body to dio]. Neither knoweth him, but you know him…for he dwelleth in you and he shall be in you [literally the entire joestar/kujo/higashikata family being so near and dear to him + his spirit being with them even after death]” and then, like.. george i, jonathan, and george ii coming to retrieve his soul during the “heeeee shallll beee in youuu” part… “i will not leave you comfortless. i Will Not leave.. You Comfortless… iiii wiiiill come…. to you.. to You” part being about his soul mingling within star platinum and crazy diamond because he has a Need, even in death, to protect them. UGH (also his essence being especially prevalent in crazy diamond, which is partially why its power is to repair things!! bc hamon! ; O ;) literally I have an Entire music video with sergio’s death set to this music. i’ve listened to it way too many times.

when david heard- so to be frank this is actually more of a joseph song, but it’s only a joseph song when sergio exists + gets murdered. :o i cried the first time i listened to this, and then months later i listened to it while thinking of sergio + like. sobbed fr fr. Joseph is asleep when Sergio calls him, so he gets sergio’s final message as a voicemail on his answering machine hours after the fact. the message itself is chilling because Joseph had no clue his son had gone on this huge mission by himself to kill Dio, and now he’s dead! however, it’s made even worse because Joseph wasn’t there to pick the call up and comfort his son in his dying breaths or do Anything. it’s just like Caesar, which is. god awful. it’s such a horrible realization because sergio, whom joseph named after what caesar wanted to name his own son, has been condemned to the same fate as his namesake. Thus this song- i’ve yet to come across a song that captures the feeling of hearing that kind of news so well. (also when i tag things as my sOOOOON or *cries my son in 8-part harmony a la whitacre*, this is the song i’m referencing :D)

zombies / terrified- ahhh, these songs capture the HORROR sergio feels upon sensing dio’s presence in Japan really well. (also “I’m going to eat you alive/please don’t find me rude, but i don’t eat fast food/ so don’t run too fast” is SUCH a dio mood…) Sergio maintains his composure about the Dio Dilemma for a good year before he flies off the handle, and his entire proto-crusade against the vampire is just. Laced with paranoia, even if he is learning a ton of useful skills. These two songs capture that feeling of something constantly watching/creeping up on you so well, and ever since i discovered them, I’ve listened to them for Sergio inspo.

the prophet- This is the only song I’ve done so far that the characters would actually listen to lmao. Sergio is a Huge fan of The Temptations, and his stand is actually named after this song! (+ the esoteric title for the hermit, which was really amazing luck on my end ; J ;) it also had a huge hand in figuring out what his stand power would be, the lyric that decided it was “God doesn’t listen to the words you pray; he hears what your heart has got to say.” However, the entire last stanza of the song ties really well into his character arc fhshgh. Also, this song just feels like it could Be the child of Bloody Stream, if that makes any sense. it’s so groovy and funky, but the lyrics are like big ominous lmao. I was super ecstatic to find this song- if sergio were to ever get an animation, this song would be the OP, yanno?

armageddon- This is another “this song would be on their personal playlist” song. Sergio’s got a lot of love for all styles of music in his heart, but jazz is his home base and always what he comes back to. I like to imagine that Lisa Lisa’s husband introduces Sergio to Wayne Shorter’s music at the age of like 8 or 9, and Sergio’s just. obsessed with the man’s music for the rest of his life. I really love Shorter’s explanation for the meaning of this song and its album as a whole: “What I’m trying to express here is a sense of judgment approaching - judgment for everything alive from the smallest ant to man. I know that the accepted meaning of ‘Armageddon’ is the last battle between good and evil - whatever it is. But my definition of the judgment to come is a period of total enlightenment in which we will discover what we are and why we’re here.” Like… wig.. I feel like that’s such big sergio energy. Armageddon itself also feels like a really nice ED- it’s lively, but in a good episode-ending kind of way. Do i dream of animating Sergio’s adventure one day? Mayhaps.

honorable mention goes to just my imagination/ my girl- We’ve covered that Sergio adores The Temptations, so it’s no secret that he would listen to these songs ceaselessly. however, i really like the broadway harmonies + instrumentals that they did for Ain’t Too Proud, so that’s what’s goin in here. these songs are THE tomoko/sergio songs…He loves Tomoko and the way she quips + teases + gets up to nonsense with him So Much. There’s a huge part of him that has No Idea what Tomoko sees in a music geek like him, but ughh he is so grateful that she likes him because she is a Goddess. he’s blessed yo..

[velvetgons]

seunghun as your boyfriend;

seunghun x reader

warnings; hm maybe some swearing but nothing else :) 

word count; 3.2k 

requested; yes :) the junkyu one is already done and is under my writing// tag! 

so what’s seunghun’s vibe i hear u ask? well it’s: ROMANCE

seunghun is the epitome of movie romance boy babey!!

you’d still meet him a very Normal and Generic setting, though

but it would still be super cute and the kind of experience where you think about it later that night and you gotta think ‘did that actually happen??’

i’m thinking a coffee shop because idk i got those chill vibes from seunghun

it’d be this really small niche coffee shop that plays the lo-fi hip-hop radio 24/7 and you only really go there because a. it’s small so there’s not a lot of people and b. the drinks are just so good?? you don’t know what they’re doing to make everything taste five star restaurant worthy but you don’t care!!

and one day you go there just to be chilled out and continue to work your way through the entire menu to test your theory that god himself is making these drinks

but when you’re just sitting and ~chilling~ you hear the door open

n you honestly don’t usually look up because it’ll just be another hipster teenager walking in, which is very valid and you’ve lowkey started to think that hipster fashion is maybe not so bad

(your friends disagree but i mean, who’s actually seeing hipster fashion up close and personal daily??)

but this time ur just like hm wonder who’s coming in today

and oh my god?? you feel like your brain has just short-circuited

there’s this cute ass boy with the softest looking hair wearing an oversized soft jumper walking into the shop with these pretty eyes that are glancing around to observe the space

and your interest is peaked, so you’re paying full attention to him now like godly drink? not important there is the most beautiful man over there and you are about ready to die with how shocked you are  

and then he just. gets his coffee and you think he’s gonna turn and leave so you’re :((

but as he about reached the door he turns his head a little and he sees you and he’s like :O

tbh he’d probably actually gasp like yeah that’s seunghun and he’s shocked!

and he wants to walk over to your table but he doesn’t know if you want company or if you want to be left alone

so he’s 365 so stressed and rushes out of the coffee shop because omg he can’t make someone ((and himself)) nervous that’s too much to do in one day

and so now you’re left wondering like?? was that a good shocked face and run away? because that’s definitely not usually a good sign

but you go back the next day as usual except this time you’re waiting for something ((spoiler: it’s seunghun. you went there to see the Cute Boy.))

and tbh you don’t think he’s gonna come back because i mean who gasps and runs out of a building for a good reason

but he does!! and he’s being ‘sly’ okay seunghun trying to check to see if you’re there that day and when he sees you sat there like yesterday he’s so excited

he’s been getting prepped all throughout yesterday and mostly through the night because he didn’t sleep properly

but now he’s ready to go ask if he can sit with you and make nice polite pleasant conversation

forgive him he’s only on phase one of his long-term plan to marry the cute person he saw at the coffee shop

so he gets his coffee and he walks over to you and says in the uwu small text “hello! does anybody sit here or is this seat free?”

and i mean first of all it’s completely unnecessary for him to sit with you like there’s so many free seats

but lowkey yeah you’ve been thinking about him too so you’d say yes

even if there is the slight worry that he might be a serial killer you decide to Take The Chance this one time

and omg as soon as you said yes seunghun could swear his heart did a keyboard smash and then stopped beating for a whole minute

but he takes his seat! and then completely freezes

he just doesn’t know what to say at first :(( he’s worried he’ll say something weird or not say enough to impress you so he just sits quietly and drinks his coffee

but then he sees that you’re wearing this cute lil necklace so he’s like “wowie!! that necklace is super cute :))”

and of course you’d say “omg!! thank you so much!!”

and like tbh. he gets so much confidence from them on. he just takes that one small comments and creates a whole conversation from

he asks where you got the necklace, if you shop there often, if you shop overall often, what other things you like to shop for, what other things you like in general

when it gets to a time that either one of you have to leave, seunghun genuinely wouldn’t want to, and if he had plans he’d check to see if he could cancel them without feeling guilty to spend time with you

but if you had to leave or if he couldn’t cancel his plans he’s gonna be a sad boy

you honestly just feel like you’ve been on a date tbh

so you’d honestly forget the inhibition and be like “aw :(( well it’s okay just give me your number so we can do this again!”

and you only realise when he does the same face he did yesterday that oh whoops maybe you didn’t fully realise that you were saying that

he just makes you feel really comfortable so you honestly forget about things that would’ve made you nervous with other people

but once he recovers from the shock he’d just be like “:] yeah okay that sounds fine with me”

and he just wants to talk to you 24/7!! but he refrains from texting you all the time because he doesn’t want you to end up finding him annoying :-)

tbh though he’d respond to your texts pretty quickly all the time either way? if he’d been talking to you all day, then his responses would take like ten seconds while he typed them out. but if you hadn’t been talking to him at all, his responses would probably still only take fifteen minutes max unless he was busy with something

on that note, he’d tell you whenever he was busy with things so you didn’t ever think he was purposefully ignoring you

and he’d take you out to different coffee shops in an attempt to prove or disprove your theory about the niche lil one you go to

and if you had hobbies like visiting museums or shopping? he’d totally come along with you!!

brings you along on little trips he takes too!! if he’s going to buy something from a store he doesn’t usually go to? guess who he’s inviting!!

tries to make you push him around in the cart to see how long you can go until a staff member tells him to get out (your current record is an hour and twenty-one minutes)

tbh everyone around you would probably think you were dating?? like your friends just assume you’ve told him that you like him already and now you’re just dating

and seunghun’s probably told his friends that he was In Love with you the day he met you, because he firmly believes in soulmates even if he friends don’t

after being close friends with you for like six months you’d probably think it was time to give him a big speech about how you like him as more than just a friend

so you sit him down and give him this whole lengthy rehearsed statement like “first of all, seunghun, i really don’t want to ruin this friendship…”

and by the time you’re done rambling about how much you think he’s amazing and perfect in every way he’s like

“well, i’m really touched, seriously, i’m tearing up a little…” and you’re like :(( he’s trying to let me down gently at least, but then he just goes, “but i thought we were already dating???”

and, first of all, you’re kinda just like ok damn that was seriously unnecessary then huh. but second of all, that’s definitely not bad news!!

so you kinda just laugh n say, “we never agreed that !”

and he’d say “well you know i kinda just assumed :( my bad”

and then you become the meme (you know the one where the guy’s like “that ain’t no problem, that ain’t no problem!” that one)

but anyway! now you have a big babey as your boyfriend so you struck out there

and like. nothing changes? you’d have thought that at least something would change but now he just gets to kiss you!! and that’s about it

seunghun is a hand holding enthusiast, first of all

he loves making you really do really obscure odd things with him that if anyone else asked you to do you’d be like ‘no wtf’

but with seunghun it’s like: go find the strangest most ugly painting in an art store and take a picture of you imitating them mood it portrays? sure that sounds fun! even more fun when you actually buy it!

or maybe he wants to make a scarecrow entirely out of pictures of himself? and you’re just like, “sure, yeah, that sounds like a fun activity”

idk if this is just an english thing or if it’s world-wide but you know like pub knowledge quizzes? he’d make you go to things like that on subjects neither of you have no idea about at all

but he’d also do really cute things with you or for you sometimes :(

like, he’ll buy cards with pretty art or cute cartoons on the front and write you lil short paragraphs about a different aspect of you that he loves

or he’ll get a collection of different flower bouquets and put them all together for you

and he’s not scared to admit it either!! if you bring it up in front of other people’s he doesn’t get embarrassed because that’s his mfing baby!!

gives you about a thousand kisses every day but his favourite kind of kiss is when you give him lil pecks or pepper his cheeks with kisses :)) they make him feel all warm n cuddly n safe

all of his kisses are very sweet and soft for the most part though

and tbh he doesn’t really kiss you for any other reason than a. he knows you like being kissed omg and b. it’s such a cute lil way of showing affection

he also adores having the classic late night conversations

okay but: seunghun loves going outside late at night, he doesn’t care really whether it’s cold or warm but summer nights after a long day are his favourites, and lying or sitting on a blanket with you and having you both go off on different tangents about a thousand different things you’ve been thinking of or that you have an opinion on

for example, his fixation with soulmates

you ask him one of the many times you’re sat outside looking at the stars with him why he’s so obsessed with the concept of soulmates

and he’d kinda just shrug at you and be like “i just really do think they’re real. i really, really believe in them. that’s about it.” and he’s got these big cute eyes that are reflecting the stars and you’re two seconds away from giving him a smooch

but he’s not done!! he’d go on to be like, “well i mean. i did think they were real, but now i know they’re real because i’ve met mine.”

you might cry a lil bit at that. that’s understandable.

but he’s smiling so softly and his eyes are so starry and pretty and he’s like “can i give you a kiss :-)”

and you’re just like :(( yeah, yes pls

you’d realise a while into your relationship that he’d gotten a necklace that matched the one he’d complimented when he first met you too

and when you’d ask him why he’d tell you it was because he wanted a reminder of you and meeting you with him always

if you came to watch him practice or expressed an overt interest in his debut or anything to do with his passion he’d be so happy!! he’d love to explain things to you, or show you new choreographies and songs he was working on

i feel like seunghun’s the type to wanna have lil conversations before bed

he already knows how your day’s been because if he hasn’t been keeping in regular contact with you throughout the day, he’s definitely asked you the second he sees you

he just wants to have another run-down over it so he can comment on stuff more in depth if he hadn’t had the chance before

tells you about his day and discusses how he’s felt about things so he can hear your opinion on them too

omg but you two would definitely spill tea together i mean, if there’s drama in your day? guess who’s getting a text w a tea emoji so he knows you have something to tell him about when you see him in person

and if he sees some stuff go down? he’d probably straight up call you in a bathroom to start telling you the story before he had to rush off to make sure he didn’t miss anything

you two just gossip. you both know everything about everyone. that one girl from your class who sits in the second row and always has to borrow a pencil from someone and you think it’s because she likes someone in the class? he knows about that. he has a theory on that.

we all also know seunghun’s kinda loud right?

because if he’s hyping you up, he’s Hyping You Up

you go out shopping with him and some friends? they’re like “wow that’s a cute shirt!!” but seunghun’s like “you are the most beautiful human being on this planet” (bass boosted)

has two different reactions when you compliment him:

either it’s “omg not here i’m gonna blush and that will so embarrassing for the both of us!!!”

or it’s “thank you for saying my shoes are nice i would die for you :-*”

either way, you’re just like :] of course any-time buddy

onto another topic, seunghun has a range of different pet-names for you

in private it’s like “my angel !! my baby !! my princess !! my lil love-bug cuddle-bug uwu machine wife !!”

but in public it’s like your full name. or maybe ‘babe’ if he’s feeling bold.

he just doesn’t want his friends to tease him because he Knows they would never let him live it down if they heard his nicknames for you

also seunghun seems like the type to leave you audio messages instead of just texting you? especially if he was gonna say something cute because now there can’t be any screenshots

(if u two have tea to spill and have to be apart, you best believe you’re sending each other audio of you laughing or commenting or at the very least giving a dramatic rendition of how arguments happened)

but his normal audio messages are usually just him telling you that he loves you a lot :) and he hopes you have a good day :) and reminders to eat and drink regularly :) and if you ever show this to anyone he’ll fight you >:)

just so you know, play-fighting doesn’t exist with seunghun because the concept is dumb to him

so either you’re wwe fighting or you’re not qualified to fight him

saying that, if you try and tickle him, it’s over. just don’t do it. he will not accept that sort of treachery in his home

funny how he says that and then would also spend a couple of hours cuddling you while you’re wrapped up in blanket so you can ‘feel like you would on a cloud’

the duality!

still makes you do dumb stuff after you start dating though that’s not going away

you wanna go for a walk as soon as the sun starts to rise so you can see the sky change colours and look really pretty? how can you say no to that offer!

he’d do that but then get genuinely concerned when you say you’re tired before at the very least after 5pm

he just doesn’t like the idea of you not being healthy and happy

on this topic, i really don’t think seunghun’s the type to argue? about anything?

he just. he just doesn’t get angry very often tbh. maybe he’d get annoyed with you occasionally but if he has an issue with something you’re doing he’ll just tell you bro he’s not pressed about it

and he really expects you to do the same if it’s something that you seriously don’t like because he won’t be offended by it

he’s a firm believe that you’re both best friends!! you can tell each other anything and nothing comes with negatives if it’s something you need to address with one another!!

like, getting jealous? yeah, he does!! but he’s rational and he knows he can trust you so what’s there to get seriously mad about

and if you get jealous? that’s fine, as long as you know too that he’s serious about how you two are supposed to be able to fully trust one another so you don’t need to be worried about anything

he doesn’t get snappy when he’s tired, he just wants to take a nap and maybe get a cuddle while he does :))) as long as you’re fine with that, he’s not bothered

he’d get quite upset if you snapped at him though, and he’d make sure to tell you whenever you calmed down from your mood that you can just tell him if you’re not in a good place or if you’re tired and he’ll give you your space

he always seems like a person who’s so quick to bounce back from things? and i think he’d like to be able to just rant at you sometimes about how he’s really feeling before he has to rationalise it just so he isn’t bottling anything up

gives you genuine heart eyes when you remind him that it’s okay for him to have normal human emotional reactions to things like everybody else does

tbh seunghun would give you heart eyes all the time :///

i feel like this one’s been shorter than others but i just. i just honestly think dating seunghun would be a really nice pleasant experience?

he’s just such a genuinely good person and has so much he wants to do with you

(he’d probably make a lil bucket list hhhhh)

would probably conclude that he’s definitely gonna marry you from the very moment he first started talking to you tbh

like he would constantly remind you, he firmly believes that you two are actual soulmates, so no problem is too big for the both of you to face in his eyes :((

[dachi-chan25]

GoT Season 8, Episode 2: Knight of the Seven Kingdoms Thoughts

Like i am not even sure this episode's name is that or "The rightful queen" but I am going with the title I liked more.

I was fully intending of making a big ass Recap like I usually do but today I had a lot of work and I feel like everyone has already talked about the episode since it was leaked so I am just gonna talk about some scenes that I think will be relevant and my take on some shipping stuff.

Again I warn that I don't root for D Targy at all (but I do think she is an amazing character) and she annoys the heck out of me most often than not so... if she is your fave pls don't read this cuz it's not for you.

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On Jaime Lannister

I feel this was a great episode for him as a character, while I do wish he would have said something about the wildfire on King's Landing or the Loot Attack I ultimately think that what he did say was the best thing in his PoV because he thinks D is the North's queen now that Jon bent the knee so ofc he wasn't gonna antagonize her that much when he was at clear disadvantage.

His chat with Tyrion was also very good, tho I feel in the books this will be more on a bitter note given Jamie's confession about Tysha, but yeah they are close once again and I appreciate that.

Every scene he had with Brienne had me swooning.Brienne defending him in the Great Hall. All those stares. The clear tension between them and the fact that Brienne doesn't know what to do when they are on the same side and he is not insulting her, so they still fight and pant around each other and I love it (honestly this kind of fighting is a lot like the Jonsa one because they have to get rid of that UST but they can't fuck or even kiss yet so they bicker and pant around each other). I noticed how he stared at Tormund and immediately knew he was intrested in Brienne. And ofc him knighting Brienne was the best of the episode for me (hence my preference of the title aluding to this scene).

On Sansa Stark

Curious that we don't get Sansa or Jon's PoV this episode, just them through other people's eyes.

The Great Hall scene: while I would have loved Sansa defending Jaime like in some fics, I think it does make sense that she feels resentment towards him and his family, but she still was willing to trust him once Brienne spoke on his behalf which says a lot for their relationship and how much Sansa has come to trust and value Brienne and her opinions. She was completely a queen in that scene, she even left the place frist not giving a fuck whatsoever about D.

Tête-à-tête with the gecko queen: Sophie Turner is an amazing actress. Ok so I loved she was telling Lord Royce she wanted to leave the Gates open as long as possible, such a compassionate queen, but also the moment D steps in I lived for Lord Royce clearly showing more respect and deference towards Sansa than towards D (I mean that the whole North respects Sansa as their leader is the very reason why Jorah asked D to talk to her). We see Sansa be closed off towards D in the beginnig even when D is trying hard to be sympathetic to sansa and bond over them being good leaders to their people (bihhh Sansa laughed and so did I cuz just how deluded is D to think she is on Sansa's level of good leadeeship), and D asks the question we have since ep 1 "does that (Jon's love for D) bother you?" And I am absolutely sure that the answer to that is yes, but Sansa was never going to show herself that much to someone she doesn't trust nor even likes (this girl out played LF ffs!!!) so she went for a non-commital answer (is not a yes or a no, she is justifying her distrust for D and appears not to be jealous but a concerned sister) D is appeased by this answer and tries to show Sansa that her and Jon's relationship is real (lmaoo) by stating just how much she sacrified her goals just for his love (like nice that she doesn't pretend to care for the people she wants to be queen of anymore, the Jonsa fandom said this since last season) and straight up says she is the one being manipulated by Jon, and Sansa's face is a poem, cuz you can see exactly the moment when she figures out that Jon is manipulating D!! We even get a smile of relief and promptly she catches herself and changes her behaviour implying she should apologize (but she never actually does) and even lauguing at how short Jon is (Sansa bites her lip tho 👀👀 and D's smile is so fake idk who she thinks she is fooling) but Sansa again brings up the North and D is visibly upset at that.

Scenes with Theon: I am just going to straight up say I do ship Theonsa and I have read fics of them, but I do not think it will be canon or that it makes narrative or political sense cuz it doesn't. Their reunion was heartwarming and beautiful (tho D jealous stare bothered me, like fuck off I wanna see my babies) Sansa was clearly happy at seeing Theon more like himself and having him want to fight for their family. Their scene with the soup was cute but I did not see it as shippy at all, there is definitely affection and care but I don't think it was shot as romance or a couple's montague, it was simply showing us all the different ways the characters we know spend this night. As much as it hurts me because I love Theon, I think it is possible he will die protecting Bran (I really don't want this, but it's a big possibility, cuz I know some big characters must die in order to destroy us as much as possible, and this scenes with Sansa might just serve that purpose) so I'll just drown in theonsa fics if that happens. Also, it kinda make me go 👀👀 the fact that they made the theonsa scenes so alike the jonsa s6 ones but without all that flirty stuff on the soup scene and that it was enough for the GA and some Aegonys to ship it while we know Theon like Jon also grew up with Sansa in WF. Idk it was kinda amusing to me.

On Jon Snow

Ok so this made a lot of sense to me, Jon avoiding D post parentage reveal is what seals pol!Jon to me, if he really loved her he would have gone statight to her in the night and confess this thing he found out while crying and looking for her support and being all hopless longingly staring at her but nope he doesn't even want to look at her (he is probably thinking how he fucked his aunt and shudders). I was also like 👀👀 when he pushed past D to follow Sansa, did they talk?? Did they fight again??? I am thirsty, but it was also a good thing Jon didn't interact with Sansa cuz it would give the game away too soon, as a matter of fact Jon doesn't seek her out like last episode as far as the audience knows and I think that is because he doesn't know what to do he is having an existencial crisis in the middle of the Apocalipsis, and Sam is like have you told her yet??? He knows shit could hit the fan at any minute. I loved his reunion with Tormund and Edd because I love Jon's smile and he has been just miserable since last ep, so yeah I need my boy to be happy.

Now onto the reveal, I think Jon genuinely thought he might as well just say it, D clearly seeked him out for some loving sexy times and Jon was not on board with that, he just couldn't keep it up with her cuz he doesn't love her, never has and now she is his aunt, he just can't do that knowing they are super related, also now D can't leave them (I mean she kind of can fuck off in Drogon and maybe Rhaegal will follow, but her armies can't leave, and they have the obsidian so...) . The fact he called her D@ny is so layered, for starters she told him straight up not to call her that cuz it reminds her of Viserys, so it connects them as family and upsets D at the same time. D straight up thinks that Bran and Sam would make shit up to usurp her (bihhh no one but u and Cersei gives a fuck about the ugly ass chair) and then when she sees Jon is saying the truth she is furious (so much for the aegony marriage fix up that her stans dreamed off, also can we fucking kiss boatie goodbye?? Cuz that sure as hell ain't happening) and Jon is baffled, he knows she wants the IT more than anything and shit but really??? They are about to die, and he has left more than clear to any one that would listen that he doesn't care about titles. Not only that but Jon and her are family now,and family is important to Jon, and she reacts like this???

On Gendrya

I was a bit wierded out cuz we have seen Maise since she was a kid (lmaoo i am like a year older than her) but more power to her for the scene, also I really love Gendrya and their interactions have been so flirty and charged with chemistry. I am worried about Gendry's survival, but I think he might live.

On everything else:

I loved Gilly and Dadvos's scene, it was so good and I wish they would give Gilly more lines.

Missandei and Greyworm making plans for after the war makes me worried one of them will die, also now that D will feel betrayed by Jon, I fear she will think GW and Missandei wanting to leave is also treason. I AM WORRIED. Also to ppl doesn't trust Missandei cuz she is with d and nobody in the north trusts Targs not even children.

Tyrion talking about destroying Cersei made him seem more Book!Tyrion than ever and I just shudderd. D literally never wants to take responsability for any desicion when she refused to fight for the north if Cersei didn't joined them. Also she would really have named Jorah hand??? She is dumb as a brick. His scene with Jaime, Brienne and co. Was cute.

Podrick was looking fine and his voice was really good. Also that Jenny of Oldstone song with all it's jonsa vibes 👀👀.

[makoskies]

character analysis

* Disclaimer: This is based off of a lot of my own headcanons of Zack and canon divergent verses where he lives post-game. Also, this is just a really long post. Proceed with caution.

tagged by: @culturedconjurer​ THANK U FOR TAGGING ME IN THIS this was a lot of fun!!!! tagging: @sweettifalockhart​ @gunsandpuppies​ @nymphatragicae​ @officiums​ AND WHOEVER ELSE WANTS TO DO IT!! INDULGE ME!!!! LET ME READ ALL UR HEADCANONS ABOUT UR CHARACTER(S)!!!!!!!

GENERAL.

full name.  Zack Fair pronunciation. zæk fɛər nicknames. Puppy, Pup; best not to call him this unless you’re Angeal or someone else that’s close to him.  height. 190 cm / 6′3″ age. 16-26, verse-dependent zodiac. Rat (1984) languages. The nebulous canon/common language of the FF universe...

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

hair colour.  Black eye colour. Mako blue-green skin tone.  I headcanon him closer to a tan like his Crisis Core overworld sprite, in comparison to his HD renders. body type. Mesomorph accent.  Not exactly sure how I would want it to sound, but he has a kind of country twang from his village of Gongaga in which he sometimes slurs his words and uses some interesting contractions. After a few minutes of speaking to him, you can definitely tell he’s a country boy. dominant hand.  Right. Being part of SOLDIER though, Zack was trained to be proficient with his left as well. posture.  He has pretty good posture, especially good during combat, but when he’s in a casual setting he does let loose. More often than not, he’s bounding with energy, even to the point of nervous energy, and speaks with lots of body movement. scars. The telltale X-shaped scar on his left cheek and various ones all over his body from combat. tattoos.  Sticking true to my brand, I’d really like for him to have one on his back... maybe a combination of angel wings, flowers, wolves... [vague hand gestures.] It would be a combination of things that represent his closest friends. most noticeable features.  Definitely the Mako eyes and the fact that he just can’t seem to sit still for more than five minutes. You can almost see his eyes glow brighter when he’s physically stimulated as if they’re trying to release the overflowing energy in his body.

CHILDHOOD.

place of birth.  Gongaga in FFVII-verse; Radiant Garden in KH-verse hometown.  Same as birthplace. birth weight / height.  He was probably a smaller baby who ended up going through some crazy growth spurt in his teenage years. manner of birth.  A normal birth, nothing exciting. His mom probably gave birth to him in their home in Gongaga with the help of a midwife. first words. Probably something like.. “Go!” siblings.  None. parents. Both alive, at least until the Reactor nearby is blown up by AVALANCHE. The explosion kills both his parents in the process. This is something I really want to explore with AVALANCHE roleplayers because it’s one of the few times Zack would be full of sheer anger. parental involvement.  He was definitely pretty close to them, writing back to them while he was enlisted in SOLDIER whenever he could. Zack’s parents also ask about him when the party visits Gongaga in FFVII. They definitely love him but they let him do his own thing, not like they could really stop him even if they wanted to.

ADULT LIFE

occupation.  Timeline and verse dependent. SOLDIER 2nd class to 1st class in FFVII-verse, helps out with the Strife Delivery Service post FFVII; Radiant Garden Restoration Committee in KH-verse current residence. Timeline and verse dependent. Gongaga pre-FFVII:CC, Midgar FFVII:CC-FFVII, Edge post-FFVII. Olympus Coliseum KH:BBS, Radiant Garden KHII-III. close friends. Verse dependent. Angeal, Cloud, Aerith, Tseng, and Cissnei in FFVII:CC (we must also remember Kunsel!), the whole main party in FFVII. The Radiant Garden Restoration Committee and the Wayfinder Trio in KH. relationship status. In my headcanon, he’s in a really happy poly-relationship with Aerith, Cloud, and Tifa. But in terms of this blog, it’s verse dependent. financial status.  Probably pretty well off. Still not as good as the Turks though. driver’s license. He definitely should have one as SOLDIER. criminal record. ... Ambiguous after he escaped from Hojo’s lab, at least according to Shinra. 

SEX & ROMANCE.

sexual orientation.  Bisexual romantic orientation. Biromantic preferred emotional role.  submissive  |  dominant  |  switch  |  unsure preferred sexual role.  submissive  |  dominant  |  switch  |  sex repulsed libido. Average to high turn on’s. Zack is a very tactile person, so making out and general intimate touches for sure, ranging anywhere from like gentle kisses to more NSFW behavior. He’s the type to initiate these touches, sometimes in public if his partner is into that, and delights in his their reactions. Dirty talk and teasing is also high on this list because of those reactions ESPECIALLY DURING COMBAT. Honestly, he’s pretty easily turned on but he’s only intimate with people he really loves. turn off’s.  Any.. extreme kinks.. I don’t think he would be into things like degradation at all. People who are insincere or needlessly mean. love language.  P H Y S I C A L T O U C H and words of affirmation as a secondary. Like for example, how does Aerith comfort him after Angeal’s death? She hugs him, and he responds by leaning back into her. He doesn’t talk, doesn’t make a sound past his cries, but he lets her know what he needs by returning her touch. Even in his own death scene, he can barely move, but he pulls Cloud close to him, the closest thing to a hug he can muster, like he’s trying to show Cloud how important it is that he continue to live and to chase his dreams. I feel like physical touch is so important to him because sometimes.. sometimes there are things that he can’t put into words, not to the extent that he feels them. He wants people to feel how he does, and what better what to do that than through touch? relationship tendencies.  He is admittedly a little bit of a flirt, but only if he’s not currently committed to someone. It’s not because he’s a player or a heartbreaker or finicky. No, it’s more like he just sees the good in everyone and sees a lot of people as deserving and worth loving. Over time though, as he gets to know someone more, he’ll figure out if he actually wants to be committed to that person. He’s likely to be the first to confess and ask someone out once he’s interested. Once he’s committed, holy hell you will find no one more loyal. HE WOULD LITERALLY DIE FOR HIS PARTNER(S) OKAY!

MISCELLANEOUS.

character’s theme song. "The Price of Freedom” from the Crisis Core OST, of course. If I had to choose a theme song though... Like Not To Be Me (TM), but I think a good theme song for him would be “Bishops Knife Trick” by Fall Out Boy.  “I got a feeling inside that I can’t domesticate/ It doesn’t wanna live in a cage/ A feeling that I can’t housebreak.” I feel like this lyric just really captures Zack’s... almost desperation to accomplish the goals he’s set for himself in life. He’s a little reckless, a little headstrong, and his impulses can get the better of him, but that’s just who he is. “And I’m yours/ ‘Til the earth starts to crumble and the heavens roll away/ I’m struggling to exist with you and without you.” And of course, he’s fiercely loyal to the people he loves—even when they test his morals and understanding of the world, like Angeal. He struggles to understand Angeal’s view of the world, of himself, but no matter how difficult it is, he just keeps trying because he loves him. hobbies to pass the time. SQUATS ALL DAY EVERYDAY BAYBEE. Definitely exercise and sports. He’s also really handy, as can be seen when he crafts that little flower cart for Aerith. He probably just ends up making a lot of things for his loved ones to make their life easier: a flower cart for Aerith, armor for Cloud. He also would very much absorb the hobbies of his loved ones, like Aerith’s gardening. mental illnesses. After all the shit that goes down in Crisis Core, I think he would have some form of PTSD. He wouldn’t do well with loud, sharp sounds—too reminiscent of the sound of bullets. He would also probably have night terrors. To be honest though, I’m probably going to stay away from writing things like this because I’m just not educated enough in it. physical illnesses.  None really, though he may be a little screwed up because of the intense exposure to Mako during Hojo’s experiments. left or right brained. Right. He’s much more inclined to follow impulse and instinct. He definitely trusts more in what he feels than just the cold hard facts. fears. His loved ones being in danger and not being able to do anything about it. Maybe worse than that though would be having his loved ones be in danger, being able to protect them, but failing at it. His whole mantra is that he wants to become a hero, he wants to save other people from danger. For him to fail at that, at the cost of the people he personally loves, that would just destroy him. self confidence level.  I would say that Zack is more self-confident than the average person—that just naturally comes with his ambition—but it comes with moments of extreme self-doubt. Despite his appearance, he can be awfully introspective, especially in the face of failure. During these times, it’s more of his ego that pushes him along (I’m a Second Class SOLDIER, of course I can do these things. I’m strong and outdid most of my colleagues during training, etc.) until he kind of restores that genuine confidence. vulnerabilities. Zack is forgiving and empathetic to a fault. Like I mentioned earlier, he always sees the good in people even when, in my opinion at least, they’re beyond saving. If someone played the long game with him, convinced him that they were this good, redeemable person, they would very much be able to get him on their side. Zack is by no means unintelligent so he would of course see through like poor attempts at deception, and it’s not like he would just mindlessly do something because someone told him to... but if someone played the game right, the potential to manipulate him is very much there. And also, because he’s so empathetic, that forces him into a lot of tough situations where he has to make a decision as to what is right and wrong, what he should and should not tolerate. Even if the decision might be obvious, it doesn’t mean it’s an easy one to make.