#taz red robe

[barry-j-blupjeans]

Taako woke up to voices talking over his head. He had put the light from his fire out before he went to bed, but the air still smelled of smoke, so it couldn't have been too long since he had fallen asleep. It was certainly dark enough to be the middle of the night. His stomach clenched with anxiety and he kept his eyes closed, trying to still appear asleep.

"-not going to remember you," the first voice said, so quiet Taako could barely pick it up.

"I- I gotta see, though," the second voice said. "If there's a chance that something got past the ######## then I have to try. I have to."

An uncomfortable feeling shot through Taako's body. He knew that voice. Where did he know that voice from?

"I know," the voice first said. "I know."

This was not a good situation to wake up into. He was currently stuffed inside his sleeping bag, in a poor attempt to avoid any night terrors. This was the first time he had gotten to sleep since- since the... incident had happened at Glamour Springs. His wand was in here with him, sure, but if these people were coming to kill him because he killed someone they loved? He was kind of screwed. Like, what do you do in that situation? Hell, if Taako had literally anyone he loved, he'd be super upset if a traveling chef killed them and then ran away.

Taako shifted and turned over, his eyes still closed. The voices stopped abruptly. He had to play it cool. He had to get out of this stupid sleeping sack before they decided to kill him because then he'd at least have a chance. Going slowly, he started curling up so his hands were near the top of the sack, ready to get himself free at any moment.

"Taako...?" the second voice said. He didn't remember anyone at Glamour Springs sounding like that, but it must have been. Right? Right. Someone near the back, who hadn't gotten a chance to eat. "You awake, bud?"

He squeezed his eyes shut tighter, trying not to give himself away.

"You don't have to pretend to be asleep, babe," the second voice continued. "I'm not- we're not gonna hurt you. I promise."

Okay, familiar voice or not, that was so obviously a lie. Of course, they wanted to hurt him. He killed their- their family member, or their friend, or whatever the fuck. Honestly, if Taako could come across anyone in the next few months who didn't want to hurt him, he'd be amazed. It was going to take some getting used to. Celebrity chef directly into mass murder probably wasn't going to be an easy career change.

"Taako," the second voice pleaded, "please open your eyes."

It wasn't a spell, or a command, or anything, but Taako followed through before he could help himself. He blinked a few times, adjusting his eyes to the darkness and letting his Dark Vision do its thing. There was no one in front of him. No shadows, no legs, or feet, nothing.

And then, slowly, something circled around from the back of him. Two sometimes, actually. Taako's breath caught in his throat. They weren't exactly... living. Their red robes were torn and tattered at the edges, dissolving into what looked like pure magic being used as a flesh suit. Their fingers were long, curved, and horrifying. And, when he tilted his head up just slightly, just to see if he recognized the face if it was going to be some lost soul he had killed come back for revenge, the swooping hood gave way to a skull. It shimmered with the same memorizing magic pattern.

Taako was terrified. And stunned. And maybe, in the back of his head, just a little bit impressed.

"Taako," said the Red Robe on the right, the one with the familiar voice. "Do you... know who I am?"

Taako slowly, slowly sat up, getting his arms out of his sack and unzipping it. They didn't seem ready to fight him. Well, okay, they looked like they could kill him with a single spell, but he was trying not to think about that.

"Ghost of Candlenights future?" Taako said with a little, totally normal, totally not nervous laugh. The Red Robe on the right sparked slightly and the one on the left put a hand on her arm.

"No," the Red Robe said, voice sounding a little watery. "I'm- Taako, I'm ###. Your ######? You- you know me Taako."

Taako had his hand tight around his wand now, hidden under the sack. He glanced past the Robes and into the trees. He could make it if he booked it. Or- or-

"You're, uh, you're cuttin' out a little bit there, Casper," Taako said. The Red Robe sparked again, a little more violently this time, and the one of the left pulled her back a few inches, whispering reassurances. "Look, uh, it's been nice to meet you but if you're not planning on killing me or like, permanently handicapping me-"

"Why would I do that?" the right Red Robe asked. Taako dodged a bit of electricity as it came flying off the Red Robe's form, leaving a singe in the ground next to him. "Why- Taako, it's me! It's ###!"

"Babe-" the left Red Robe said. "He can't-"

Taako cast Blink, vanishing into the Ethereal Plane. There were fuzzy shapes of dark red where the Red Robes should be standing, but Taako didn't have the time to focus on whatever the fuck they were. He scrambled the rest of the way out of his sleeping sack and booked it to the line of trees behind them, appearing a second later back in the Prime Material Plane, ten feet away from where he had started. The Red Robes didn't even seem to notice. Taako ran before they could.

He only stopped when his lungs were burning so much he could hardly breathe, and even then, he hid himself in a patch of bushes, crouched down so his head wouldn't peek out over the top. His mouth was so, so dry and he still felt the anxiety seizing at his heart, relentless. He was far enough away that he couldn't even begin to guess where his camping site had been anymore.

After a few minutes of no one showing up after him, Taako let himself sink to the ground, still out of breath. The tree next to him had a paper nailed to it. It read:

Wanted Alive: Taako (from TV) for the murder of thirty lives in Glamour Springs. Reward: fifteen thousand gold. Contact Glamour Springs Sheriff's Department with any leads. Caution: Considered armed and dangerous.

His face was below, taken from one of his promotional posters. Suddenly, Taako was out of breath for some very different reasons.

This week would not give him a fucking rest.

[umbraastaff]

(x)

[lifes-line]

Welcome TAZ tumblr we’ve got our first snibbet at one of The Suffering Game’s panels.

Now - the blur is to avoid spoilers but I’m like 90% sure I know what this is.

Spoilers ahead:

It’s Magnus’s body.

Specifically Magnus’s cloned body.

Notice the background now Taako is setted in the Fantasy Costco — and also notice how he is looking down at what we can only assume is the pod itself or Magnus’s nude body itself. Hence his surprise either way.

This would mean that we are maybe getting a glimpse of the lunar interlude right after the Suffering game,

Which means we would probably be getting the red robe reveal and possibly had the second void fish reveal as well all in one book. Maybe the next book just entirely all the cycles of the stolen century.

But again this is 100% just a theory.

a game theory —

[baconmoop]

Something that just popped in my head that I've never thought of before:

If Lup hadn't died pre-voidfishing, wouldn't she have been even worse than Davenport?

Like, at least Dav kept his name. Lucretia erased everyone's memories of her, surely she'd be a completely blank canvas. Did Lucretia not think of that? Was she so sure that Lup was already dead that it didn't matter? Or did she think she'd be fine in the middle of nowhere, completely devoid of memory?

Sure, Davenport was the way he was because 'his life was the mission' or whatever. But Lucretia must have redacted so much to make sure Taako didn't remember his sister. There can't have been much left.

(Anyway someone write the fic please thank you)

[anistarrose]

okay. here's what i think. with tres voidfished boys, barry is taako's and magnus's blorbo but the red robe is merle's blorbo.

i think taako and magnus will never fucking shut up about what a fun weird guy barry was and how much they miss him, while merle is just left going... "ugh... enough about that fucking douche..." but whenever mags and taako talk about the red robe, like what a creep, am i right? then merle is like "hold on now, he can't be all that bad! don't you just want to get to know the guy, and why he does what he does? don't you just wanna find out what's going on in his head?" to which the other boys are like. what the hell? and merle's like "i just think he's neat!"

[lawsonbarneyart]

Painted a mural at a skatepark, it was kind of a public Paint By Numbers.

I snuck some Adventure Zone Easter eggs in! The whole mural was largely inspired by The Stolen Century arc and Outer Wilds

[mysticalblue09]

I’m sure I may be talking into the void right now but fuck it.

So I just started The Suffering Game arc in The Adventure Zone (like episode 51) and no spoilers please but I don’t trust the director, like at all. Something fishy is going on and I don’t fucking trust her.

[journalofimprobablethings]

Oh hey I started re-listening to Balance and I had forgotten that when they find the red robe in Wave Echo Cave that Justin asks about the robe's stats and whether he could take it and god can you just imagine if Taako had shown up at the Bureau wearing Lup's robe??

And then I wrote a thing about it.

--

Lucretia thought she was prepared for seeing her brothers again.

She's had time to build up her walls, to steel herself for what she knows will be a painful encounter. She's had a decade now of secrets and privately held regrets and memories, and she's become adept at hiding her emotions, learned how to school all the dismay and sorrow from her expression.

Even so, it takes everything in her to keep her expression neutral when the three of them walk into the room.

Magnus and Merle look in many ways like she expected--though older, ten years older; and she realizes she's never seen them age before. They've been in stasis for a hundred years, always come back each cycle looking exactly the same; but now Merle's wrinkles have deepened, and Magnus has new lines at the corners of his eyes and grey threaded through his hair, even though his body is barely thirty.

The joy and and intense sorrow she feels at the sight of them, with all the changes the past ten years have wrought, is so strong she doesn't think she can hold it inside her.

But what nearly undoes her is when Taako walks in. He looks exactly the same; elves don't age the same way humans do, or even dwarves--but for a moment she thinks--

She knows it's impossible, but for a moment, every signal is telling her brain that the elf in front of her wearing a red robe and carrying a familiar umbrella isn't Taako--it's Lup.

Then she blinks, and her brain recalibrates, and she realizes her mistake.

It's not that she has trouble telling the two apart--after a century living together, the twins lost the ability to fool the others unless they were trying very hard.

But she thinks she could be forgiven for the lapse, because the robe Taako is wearing isn't just any red robe--not some ironic twist, the universe mocking her with echoes.

It's an IPRE robe. Lup's IPRE robe.

And he's holding Lup's umbrastaff, casually slung over his shoulder like it belongs there.

Lucretia has spent any moment she could spare from her search for the Relics trying to find any trace of where Lup might have gone, and has come up empty.

Taako doesn't know what he's lost, hasn't even known to look--but somehow he's succeeded where Lucretia has failed. Clearly, at some point in their recent adventure--

He found Lup.

Or at least, he found Lup's things. What does it mean, that the robe and staff were left somewhere Taako could just pick them up? If Lup left the staff behind, does that mean--

With effort, Lucretia stops her train of thought, forcing herself to take a deep, even breath and push the roil of emotions down deep inside her. Later, she'll be able to sit and think through what this could mean.

For now, she has a part to play.

She straightens her shoulders and smiles, only leaning a little bit extra on her staff as she stands to greet them.

"Welcome, you three. Magnus, Merle, Taako. Killian has told me a lot about you and your...exploits."

She glances over at Killian, who is watching her with a sharp expression. She can't have failed to notice Lucretia's reaction to the robe when Taako walked in. Lucretia wonders what she knows about how Taako got it.

"I wanted to personally thank you for your help in retrieving the Phoenix Fire Gauntlet," she continues. "Thanks to you, an enormous danger has been removed from the world."

Magnus coughs awkwardly. Lucretia knows he's thinking about Phandolin, all those people he failed to save. "Yeah, we uh. We were happy to help."

"Does this thanks come in the form of gold?" Taako asks. "I think retreiving a super magic weapon is worth a reward, right?"

"Or a job? We were told there might be job openings here," Merle adds.

Lucretia laughs a little.

"We'll get to that in a minute," she says. She glances at Killian. "First, I--Taako, I would like to know where you got that robe? It's very--"

"Red," Killian finishes.

Taako looks down at himself. "Oh this thing? Yeah, I picked it up off some skeleton in a cave."

A yawning, empty pit opens up inside Lucretia.

"I figured, he was super dead, so finders keepers." He swoops the ends of the robe a little. "Stylish, right?"

The pit inside Lucretia yawns a little wider.

It's not that she hasn't considered the possibility--probability even--that Lup is dead. And just because her body is dead doesn't mean that she is gone.

But it's the confirmation--and Taako's cavalier description of his sister's bones--that nearly undoes Lucretia for the second time that day.

She grips her staff tight, and forces herself to keep her breathing even. She places one hand behind her back, so that the others can't see the tight fist she's balled it into.

"This was the cave where you first found the gauntlet?"

"Yeah. What about it?"

Lucretia exchanges glances with Killian.

"You all have visited Johann, correct? You've taken the voidfish's ichor?"

"You mean the fish poop?" Taako asks. "Yeah, we drank it. Not my favorite thing ever, I've gotta say."

"Yeah, it was super gross," Magnus puts in.

"Salty," Merle adds. "But I dunno, it had a kinda--"

"Oh my gods, do not--" Taako says.

"I'm just saying, it wasn't the worst thing I've ever tasted."

"Please stop."

Taako pinches the bridge of his nose, and Magnus busts out laughing. Lucretia has to steel herself against another wave of emotion as she watches the three of them banter. The familiarity aches.

She raises her voice a little to be heard over Magnus's laughter. "In that case, you've remembered the Relic Wars."

Magnus sobers instantly.

"The wars were caused by the Grand Relics: a series of extraordinarily powerful magical objects created by a group of magicians that we...refer to...as the Red Robes."

All three of the boys look down at Taako's robe.

"Oh," Merle says.

"Shit," Magnus says.

"Well," Taako says.

"It is very probable that the...the remains you found belonged to a member of that group."

"But that's good though, right?" Magnus says after a moment. "If one of them is dead--that's a good thing? Isn't it? They can't cause any more harm if they're dead."

Lucretia digs a fingernail deep into the palm of the hand behind her back.

"I'm afraid the harm the Grand Relics are capable of will long outlive the Red Robes themselves," she says. "But that's why we're here. We are doing our best to right the wrongs the Red Robes did. To remove the dangers they put into the world with the Relics. And we'd like your help."

"Sounds like a good cause," Merle says. "Does it pay?"

"It does pay," Lucretia says. "Competitively, if I say so myself."

"I'm in," Magnus says.

"Can I ask a quick question?" Taako says.

"Of course," Lucretia says. "I understand if you want more information before--"

"No, no, I'm--as long as the pay is good, I'm all on board," Taako says. "But I wanted to ask--"

He gives the robe a dramatic swish.

"Would it be in bad taste for me to keep the robe? It's just so comfy, you know? Great armor stats."

Taako gives her a shit-eating grin, and Lucretia's head swims for a moment at the image, one part of her brain telling her Lup, it's Lup, while the rest replies no it's not, it's not, she's gone, maybe forever.

She forces a small, rueful smile.

"Well, I can't deny that seeing a red robe around the Bureau regularly might cause some talk, some... discomfort. But we're not in the business of dress codes here. I'll leave it up to you."

"Great!" Taako drawls. "Can't wait to be the fashion talk of the moon!"

And Lucretia can't help but smile genuinely at that--he's still Taako, even after everything.

"Very well." She sets her staff carefully against her chair, consciously relaxes her shoulders. In her imagination, Magnus's hand rests firmly on her shoulder, Merle's a reassuring presence at her hip. The memory of Lup's voice whispers in her mind. You got this, Luce.

"If that's decided, let's get you three up to speed."

She gestures widely to the reception room, putting a little bit of the theatrical flair she learned from Taako into the gesture.

"Welcome to the Bureau of Balance."

[yaboi-julien]

Found these doodley blups in the vast recesses of my computer enjoy

[too-much-alphabet-soup]

Thinking about how the tres horny boys all picked red suits in crystal kingdom before they knew their own missing history.

[ethersierra]

I'm Taako, you know, from TV?

[captainswan618]

it’s actually crazy to me how many TAZ things she’s already guessed right (or at least got the vibes right)??? like look at all of this!!

Ep 8:

Ep 9:

Ep 27:

Ep 28:

Ep 35:

After ep 37, when I told her there was a parallel between TAZ and Doctor Who (vague spoilers for that, I guess? through s5):

and before I even told her there was a parallel, she made a semi-joking prediction based on that same part in Doctor Who: “What if there was a 4th member of the party and they got killed or something and they got erased?”

anyway like!! how is she doing this!!!! I don’t remember a ton about what my theories were the first time I listened, but I definitely didn’t have all this????

[theoraclephobetor]

How DARE Griffin drop the line, when talking about Barry Bluejeans

"It was the best name and I just sort of wasted it on a red shirt"

at the end of a FUCKING personal message because I skipped ALL of those on my first listen of Balance

[its-your-mind]

everyone talks about the disorientation when a beloved mutual changes their pfp, but I have believed myself to be on someone else’s blog somehow roughly 15 times in the last two minutes. I am a dog who does not recognize its reflection in a mirror.

[institute-of-planar-shitposts]

Happy Halloween!! :D