#tbh if i want to game the system what i should do is purposefully not finish any more books in july and wait until august

[gender-trash]

so for the past few months i've been doing a Thing where if i read at least as many books (for the first time; rereads don't count) as i acquire (and add to the TBR pile, so reference books/craft books/etc don't count) i get a beeminder get-out-of-jail-free card

and i REALLY THOUGHT that july was gonna be my month because i read a bunch of books and only bought two!

EXCEPT

yesterday (july 29) i went to san francisco with @combat-epistemologist for an event (where we ate a shitload of free food and did not talk to anybody) and then afterwards we went to A Bookstore and then Another Bookstore when the first bookstore turned out to be 90% italian books (i don't know italian) and i bought 45 books total between the two bookstores and guys i do not think i am going to win july anymore

[smileysuh]

I just finished Tuesday and it’s niggling at me..esp cus he seemed to not like him before the haechan vs Donghyuck conversation. They just barely met…How come box office haechan hates Johnny so much???

Yeah the party convo just happened and my brain let me move on from why he’s being so dramatic and grumpy? I get the “no pressure” convo but haechan has been rude from the start, like the equivalent of “starting it” after all

good questions! tbh, The Box Office was sort of a way for me to explore class systems and power differences in a fic.

I wrote it in 2022, and Hyuck was 22 at the time. He's the youngest of the three Lee Cousins, and he sees his eldest cousin, Mark, out here in California working service jobs (pool cleaning, garden maintenance, etc...) for a 'family friend' who's a mega rich 35ish year old with a huge mansion and a hot as fuck wife.

there's a jealousy there for Hyuck, not only is he jealous of Johnny, but he's jealous of Jeno for getting a taste of Johnny's wife-

Johnny first meets Hyuck and decides to spray him with a hose, which sets off Hyuck's hot head attitude even more because the action itself is somewhat degrading, although, Johnny acts well below his age, and it has a childlike aspect to it which 'should' make the motion okay, but it doesn't sit right with Hyuck. there's something below the seemingly innocent act that Hyuck picks up on almost immediately.

then, even after explicitly making a boundary for Johnny to call him Hyuck and not Haechan cuz only his friends call him Haechan, Johnny purposefully ignores that. Johnny is not a man to put boundaries on, and there's a power struggle between he and Hyuck from the moment they meet.

Hyuck had heard Johnny was nice, he'd let Jeno fuck his wife after all, so Hyuck has an expectation for what Johnny is going to be like- only for Johnny to be just as much of a mind game person as he is. there's competition there, and a clear distinction between Hyuck and Johnny in terms of their ways of life. Mark is an angel, he doesn't see through Johnny's specific dominating diction, and neither do Jaemin or Jeno. but Hyuck sees it all, he sees the domineering personality beneath the specifically chosen words.

“You mean the guy that just invited you and Mark to a party while purposefully leaving me out and even telling me to my face that i shouldn’t come while pretending it’s because he doesn’t want to ‘pressure me’?!”

Box Office is a lot of push pull, a lot of Hyuck, a younger, less rich manipulator versus Johnny, an older, hella rich manipulator. they're both used to getting what they want, to dominating things, like two brick walls fighting each other- although, due to the class/stature differences, Hyuck is at a disadvantage, and he HATES it

[softgrungeprophet]

i had these in the tags on the trailer for the new game but i'm putting them in a post instead it's just less obnoxious that way + some extra thoughts at the end

HELLO? SIR?? HELLO??? MR KRAVINOFF, oh he's so tall, this makes up for the twunky movie casting and the fact that i can't stand the gameplay for the tasm2 game where he's 9 feet tall (i want to play it but i just... can't do it... the menace system is not good...)

wait are they gonna let us go to queens?? or just cutscenes, i guess it could be like the raft stuff in the first game where you can't actually go there...

OH PETER GROSS I LOVE IT, I'M READY SIGN ME UP, oh the jaw… that's such a cool way to do symbiote spider-man actually though…. sleek but meaty

WAIT YOU GET TO PLAY AS MILES AND PETER BOTH AS SPIDEY???? not just the civilian stealth stuff anymore... i mean that makes sense but i never thought about it really.... ough...

oh that slingshot animation is chef kiss mwah beautiful

HE CAN FLY?! (*glide)

sidenote still love how slender miles is compared to peter it's a good detail, gangly teen vs grown man—i know literally everything with miles in it does this but it's just. good.

ooh webline trapeze… seeing lots of very good mechanics here…. ohh spooky… oh thank god it's the lizard i thought it was gonna be a dinosaur and was like, no... but it's not.

miles has some realllllly nice animations very slick

i'm sorry i cannot help laughing at peter's hoarse voice. is that supposed to be evil venom influence??? lmao? it sounds goofy. just let him talk and put him through a vocoder or whatever it is they use for that stuff. voice modulation. like a turian. or glados. i guess the buzzing speech for turians is less #badass than Mr. I'm Trying Really Hard To Sound Gravely But I Mostly Sound Like I Have a Cold (which, it IS a parasite...) but I will say that my headcanon voice sound for Agent Venom IS literally just Garrus LMAO

Peter here sounds like what i'd expect from swine flu grim hunt peter 😂

oh this lizard section is giving me flashbacks to the arkham asylum sewer section… 😩 that shit was so tedious but this looks much faster and less drawn out esp if 2 includes the accessibility features from the previous game(s)

that "he's got sharp teeth" > *dark voice* ''so do i…'' LMAO I'M SORRY i like dark peter and I like symbiote spider-man in theory but it's just so.......... i cannot take it seriously..... it's the fake gravelly voice.... the knowledge that i just KNOW they're working from the "symbiote makes you bad" angle even though peter is just like that....

''he's never like that'' BULLSHIT HE ISN'T this is propaganda ugh but it's whatever, this is what i expected anyway, every media tries to push that peter is innately good anyway, even the comics that are actually in-character, so it really could go either way as far as peter's levels of goody-two-shoes-ness...

i'm excited regardless of the fact that it's probably going to be very par for the course as far as venom is concerned, even though the most the symbiote ever really did with peter was like... make him stay up all night... like... c'mon it doesn't change your entire personality, it mostly just makes your emotions less stable... the rage has to be there in the first place to be emphasized... granted i guess miles would not know peter's angry dark side ideally since peter should generally be a good teacher who is purposefully gentle but it IS still a lie to say that peter isn't like that tbh... like as corny as "so do I..." is it's like. Peter WOULD just say that even without a symbiote. like. he would. it just wouldn't have a long lingering dramatic camera shot—i think that's part of what's making it funny for me. it feels like parts of the gameplay trailer are slightly too protracted, where if they were just a little bit snappier, a little bit briefer and more to the point, with less waiting for quips/jokes, it would feel much tighter and a little bit less funny (though his gravelly voice is still just kind of inherently amusing to me)

hopefully the venom plot doesn't suck ass, i AM excited to use peter's nasty symbiote tentacles, that shit looks extremely fun and i love the weird organic look on the suit... appreciate that it's still glossy and slick, and very straightforwardly patterned in black and white while also being fleshy, cause the texture was kind of my least favorite aspect of movie venom personally, so i like this look... it's not as sleek as some designs (which i personally tend to favor) but i really do like the way the jawline appears to be worked into the "mask" and the way it kind of melds musculature and "clothing" together.

the real question is 1) will they force me to look at the "remastered" face for Peter and 2) if so will this game come out on PC, when, because I would rather not look at that face.

(also because I don't have a ps5 and will not be able to acquire one any time soon unless i suddenly come into a helluva lot of money)

[in-tua-deep]

Ok I totally want to hear more about this survivors au/Delores is real! How do the siblings handle having this different version of Five? Five may be better adjusted but he still has to heard his family around like a bunch of stray cats. What happens when Hazel and Cha Cha show up? How do they find out that Vanya causes the apocalypse and how does Five handle that revelation?!

here is the thing, i think the survivors au has the potential to be HILARIOUS

no one knows how to handle a well-adjusted five, and this absolutely includes the commission

So you mentioned Hazel and Cha-Cha?? Five in this au was not nearly as absolutely feral as he is in the show bc he knows how to interact with people - he was raised by a competent adult and a weird best friend and they occasionally saw other survivors as well

please picture old Five hanging around the water cooler and chatting with Hazel

the other funny thing is that Five is competent passing - he is well adjusted emotionally but functionally?? Hazel is out there complaining about dental being cut and office parties and budgets and Five is there sipping his drink having never filed taxes in his life. Five doesn't know what the fuck a dental plan is, he was a child soldier and then lived in an apocalypse.

So please picture for me Hazel being like "okay I know corporate wants us to keep what we're being paid to ourselves but fuck that, workers unite, what do you get paid as a legend old timer?"

and five is like "you're getting paid? i get to not get tossed back into the apocalypse, I think"

"but what about expense forms? what about medical care?"

"I'm like 80% sure i'm being experimented on, actually." Five says nonchalantly, "Don't get me wrong, my idea of medical care is fucked by being a child soldier but I'm pretty sure regular people don't have electrodes attached to their heads every time they get a checkup. Could be wrong though! My ex-dad used to monitor my brainwaves while I slept so like, my idea of appropriate shit is fucked, you know?"

This is a Five who was raised by Rick, he is polite to his coworkers. If Dot asked him if he wanted to grab lunch, Five would have gone and grabbed lunch with her or politely said that he couldn't.

Cha Cha only ever talks to Five when she wants to talk shop, so they've had a couple of conversations about weapons but not much else tbh, Hazel just tends to be more personable

So when they're sent after Five, Hazel is much more hesitant to kill who he perceives as a "work friend" and also is definitely thinking about all the times Five casually revealed a way the commission was being highkey shady about him, such as the potential experimentation, no pay, working under duress etc. He's much more easily turned against the commission because he's even more primed to say "fuck the commission" than he is in canon

Hazel out here like "how did Five break his contract when Five wasn't even being paid? I kind of want to read it."

Hazel out here like "I would unionize if I didn't think the commission was anti-union enough to send literal assassins after me if I suggested it :/"

meanwhile with the siblings

Five just. talks over them a lot and makes so much sense that it's actually really hard to argue with him, and he's weirdly considerate of his family's obligations

Like Diego is like "i have to go see Patch" then Five is like "that's great I'm proud of you buddy, it would actually be really handy to have some law enforcement read into the situation if you think she's up to the task. that goes for everyone by the way! If y'all have people you trust, more bodies would be super helpful I think"

the entire family, collectively, who have like zero trusted social links: uhhhhhhhh

Diego, with this weird permission, probably?? Does? Awkwardly attempt to read Patch into the situation? Patch is, obviously, like "what the fuck, Diego" but probably goes with him to the mansion (????????) because she's concerned and then meets his fucking whacko family with their superpowers and suddenly everything is 100% more realistic

Five is just like "yes hello I'm aware I look like a child, i'm actually in my late 50s or early 60s (apocalypse time amiright) because of time travel stuff. Yes I am Five Hargreeves who went missing in like 2002 or whatever. anyway it's lovely to meet you, i'm so glad diego has someone he trusts, and considering my sibling's shifty looks when i told them to invite anyone they trusted this genuinely makes me concerned that Diego is the most socially well-adjusted of them."

"That cannot be possible." Patch says, like someone who has met Diego Hargreeves.

"You haven't met the rest." Five says sympathetically, "In our defense we were raised in isolation as child soldiers."

"That... explains so much." Is all Patch can say to that, "But you seem..."

"I'm adopted." Five waves away.

"We're ALL adopted." Diego grits out, very aggrieved by this and also not sure if he likes the fact that Patch seems friendly with Five, or at least is listening to him?

"I'm double adopted."

However! With the recruitment of Patch, herding Diego becomes like 90% easier.

Honestly the worst to herd are probably Luther and Allison? Luther because he's Number One and resents Five taking charge and also resents Five's casual dismissal of Reginald and also suspects that Five (or at least the commission) has something to do with Reginald's death?

Allison because she is torn between following Luther and helping him and helping Five but also calling Patrick and Claire at every possible moment while ALSO trying to repair her relationship with Vanya. She's flighty - she'd bail on a Five-apocalypse-assignment if Vanya mentioned being hungry or if Luther called or anything like that

Vanya likes to be included and, if asked, would probably drop as many current obligations as she can. Like she would probably cancel her teaching if Five genuinely and sincerely asked her for her help, which he does because he's 100% sure Dolores would manifest in front of him and smack him if he dared even imply someone without powers wouldn't be helpful

Vanya is like "I'm not sure if i'll be helpful - I don't have powers ):" and Patch is like "wtf are you talking about - my superpowers are Gun, Backup, and Reading Comprehension and i am like the most useful member of this team right now"

Vanya gets a confidence boost just from hanging out with Patch honestly, I think they should be friends

Klaus is thrilled to be included are you kidding?? He says he does it for money but he's just happy to be there and also as one of the most emotionally intelligent siblings he is mildly concerned about the fact that Five looks like he's about to cry and also emotes

Five also gives Klaus positive reinforcement, hugs, and Five absolutely weaponizes the I'm not mad, but I believe that you can do better and I'm going to give you more chances because I love you and fully believe that next time you'll be amazing way that Rick used on him.

I feel like Five ends up saying something along the lines of "I understand that x is really important, and we're definitely going to look into it. Is it something that needs to be addressed right now, or is it something that can wait until after April 1st? If it can wait, I can write it down here on this list so we don't forget. If it can't wait then we can figure out a time to address it and help you" a lot

Like Grace malfunctioning and potentially killing Reginald?

"We don't have to make this decision right now." Five says patiently, "Because Grace is a robot, we have some options. Living with a robot who is potentially malfunctioning and homicidal is dangerous, but Luther saying that means admitting that Reginald might have made a mistake or error with Grace's programming or upkeep. I haven't been here for a long time, but I remember Reginald being very precise. Regardless, this isn't a choice between permanently shutting her off or not. We can shut her down temporarily until we can fully address the issue. We can ask and see if there is a 'system reboot' option or some sort of system check that Grace can undergo. We can try find and hire an expert to take a look at her programming to find the issue."

Five gives this speech while like, organizing the weaponry in the house on a table very nonchalantly

Five out here making buzzer noises at his siblings arguments like "yeah no that's a false dichotomy and a strawman's argument, want to try again?"

(Look apocalypse nights were long and they had games that were literally about arguing pointless shit like ranking types of chairs or the best way to break out of a prison without powers and things could get heated)

"Who died and made you boss?" Luther demands.

"Uh, the world? Were you not listening?" Five asks, looking very purposefully confused.

It gets even MORE delightful when Five reads Rick into the situation because a) he promised and b) his siblings really have like, no connections jeeze

Rick fully believes that this is his son from the future, like Five introduced himself, but Five skipped out on a few key details. Such as being adopted.

So Rick spends a solid chunk of time just staring at Five, who looks basically nothing like him, trying to think like, who is his mother ???? if we save the world will Five stop existing? why would I name my child 'Five'? Does everyone have powers in the future? was there like... a radioactive apocalypse? would radiation give future humans superpowers? when did my life turn into a comic book? am i even allowed to ask these questions? will knowledge of the future fuck things up?

and then when Five comes back and is like "what is up everyone this is my dad Rick who will be joining us, he doesn't have any memories of me thanks to time travel but if anyone is mean to him i WILL kneecap them"

"Your DAD?"

Five does kidney punch Klaus for saying that Rick is a DILF but otherwise everyone just is like, warily looking at this Normal Dad Man in confusion because?? This is the dude who raised Five, who they watched take out like an entire commission team by himself yesterday? He looks so. Normal.

Rick is very confused and like, wonders if he's supposed to be the team mascot? But Five keeps involving him and asking his opinion and in return Rick enforces snack breaks and makes everyone sandwiches and has gentle talks with everyone

Every time Five notices someone about to blow he just lovingly makes sure that that person is alone in a room with Rick

Luther ends up crying on the sofa with Rick gently patting his back as Rick calmly states that Luther seems like he's put a lot of time and effort into his family and making his father proud and that since Reginald isn't here to say it, Rick will have to be the one to say that he's proud and that they've been dropped into a difficult and stressful situation - so soon after Reginald's death when they're still grieving! - and he's doing so well

Luther, experiencing unconditional positive paternal regard for the first time in his life: i don't know why i'm crying so much

honestly this is just a comedy of juggling the gang, having impromptu therapy sessions and discussions, investigating the apocalypse and the eye, leonard trying to meet vanya continuously and failing because she's constantly surrounding by family or rick/patch, the commission trying their best to bust up the dream team/isolate Vanya/kill or remove Five, while Hazel lives out his romcom dreams with Agnes and also says "fuck the commission"

[ryanberga]

tbh i’d love to see ur paragraphs abt ryan & i’m sure other people would too,,,,,,post it?👀

ok *deep breath*

we all always joke about ryan being this dumb himbo jock archetype to shane’s academically-inclined strange man archetype which is funny as hell those jokes are funny and all in good fun but!! let’s not forget that ryan is actually not dumb at all!

let’s talk about ryan & shane’s dynamic and the whole boogara vs. shaniac thing. there’s a decent amount of people who see ryan saying “i believe in ghosts & demons & the supernatural & funny little conspiracy theories,” and then they see shane saying “all that is bullshit, i’m a skeptic & i believe in science,” and they jump to the conclusion that therefore, shane is smart and ryan is dumb, or shane is smarter than ryan, and that’s simply not true!! ryan’s belief system is inherently different from shane’s, but that does not mean he is stupid for it! shane is very outwardly and vocally interested in things like history and science, and i think that’s another reason people tend to fall into the belief that shane is smart and ryan is dumb, but, again: simply not true! just because ryan isn’t as interested in typical academic pursuits doesn’t mean he’s dumb, and i think it’s actually a very problematic mindset to equate someone’s intelligence with like the core subjects you learn in school.

ok, now let’s talk about bfu. let’s talk about how bfu was entirely ryan’s brain baby and how groundbreaking the format of it was. let’s talk about how no other supernatural or true crime shows presented its information the way that bfu does. let’s talk about how when bfu started, ryan did 100% of the work for it. he did the research, the writing, the editing, etc etc all on his own. let’s talk about how much work he put into it and how passionate he was about it. let’s talk about how the format is so smartly done & unique & original. let’s also talk about how no matter how much evidence shane presents that directly contrasts ryan’s theories, ryan stays true to himself and believes in what he believes in and refuses to be swayed. let’s talk about how even when shane blatantly dismisses ryan’s beliefs or insults him or teases him for his beliefs, ryan doesn’t budge. i also think it’s so impressive that ryan remains genuinely curious about these things and continues to believe in these things even when someone (who he cares about & respects!) is consistently telling him his beliefs are bullshit.

ok, now let’s talk about watcher. i’m not going to talk about how much courage it must have taken to leave buzzfeed to create a completely original company because that goes without saying, and it’s been talked about enough before. instead, i’m going to talk about spooky small talk specifically for a second. the fact that both steven and shane have said that spooky small talk is the biggest undertaking that any of them pursued for any of their shows is! pretty impressive! the amount of work that had to have gone into that show is really mindblowing to think about, to have to deal with the scare actors and all the noises and getting through the maze while asking questions and staying engaged with the interviewee. it’s a lot to deal with, and ryan does it fantastically, and he makes it look so effortless, as if it was the easiest thing in the world to create.

and then there’s here’s what you do, which i think is a good example of ryan showing that he’s very smart when it comes to emotions and self-care. very often in hwyd, he talks about emotions and self-care in ways that surprise me with how succinctly he’s able to put sort of complex thoughts into words. personally, i also think he gives some of the best and most thoughtful answers (when they’re actually giving serious answers and not talking about piss & shit, that is).

and just a couple more things about ryan i want to point out before i finish this off: no matter what ryan does, in everything he pursues, he seems to me to remain completely genuine to who he was at the start of this all, way back when he was still making videos with brent. he never changes his belief system, no matter what shane or anyone else says to him. he remains compassionate and unashamedly himself in all his pursuits. everything he does is imbued with so much fun. he wants to have fun, and he wants his audience to have fun along with him, and i think it‘s very evident that this is the case.

also, if you listen to ryan speak, like, in watcher weeklys or hwyd or whatever? it seems to me like he says everything with intention, and it seems like most things he says are pretty well thought out (again, when he’s not being purposefully silly). also! he has a great vocabulary! as an english major myself, i am often surprised by some of the words he throws out very casually in conversation!

and one last point, bringing it back to my first paragraph: just because he’s not as into things like history and science, he is still very well-versed in a lot of other things that speak to an inherent intelligence. first of all, it’s been established that he knows tons about true crime and conspiracies and supernatural stuff. he’s also very well-versed in pop culture, and more than just movies & tv shows! he’s spoken lots about books, and music, and podcasts, and video games! (and also don’t forget that he’s mentioned multiple times how he maintained i believe a 3.9 gpa throughout all of high school & college while also involving himself in sports & extracurriculars & a fraternity! gpa is bullshit, but that’s still pretty impressive if you ask me!) 

(edit: also!! the fact that both shane and steven said ryan was the one who was the most prepared in terms of banging out content should something like a pandemic occur before covid was even a thing!! let’s not sleep on that fact, wow!)

((edit pt. 2: also! my total bad for not appreciating his sense of humor! he’s such a funny guy! and so quick-witted! i think his sense of humor on its own is enough to demonstrate how very obviously Not Dumb he is!))

tl;dr: does ryan lean into the dumb jock archetype? sometimes, yes, i think he does. i think he thinks it’s funny to play dumb (and it is!). but is ryan actually dumb? no fuckin way! ryan is smart & talented & very hard-working & passionate & just an all-around great guy. put some respect on his name

[mdwatchestv]

Westworld 2x09: I’ve Made A Huge, Tiny Mistake

Hoo boy. Remember last week when I praised Westworld for finally having stories that had a clear beginning, middle and end and weren't purposefully opaque and borderline meaningless? Those were good times. Upon seeing the preview for this week's episode I was hopeful we would be getting a glimpse into the MIB's home life. And while we  did in fact see of that some of that, this episode largely fell back on the manufactured 'shocking twists' and befuddling mystery of Westworld Past.

This episode mostly concerned the Man in Black's past, specifically the events surrounding the suicide of his wife, Juliet. One might recall that Juliet is the sister of Ben Barnes, and daughter of Peter Mullan (head of Delos), and that the Man in Black was engaged to her back when he was Jimmi Simpson. In a flashback we see the MiB, Juliet (played by an ageless Sela Ward) and their daughter Katja Herbers at a black tie charity event. While there, MiB runs into Ford who has come to hang out in the bar area in a foreshadowing way. He gives the MiB a silver credit card that contains his park profile, we the audience know there must be some fucked up shit on that card. As MiB leaves, Ford also tells the empty room he is planning on one last game... Very super villainy. At the party Juliet also gets increasingly bombed, and we learn that she has a history of alcoholism which has created much tension in the Black family. Back at home we learn that Juliet is haunted by a suspicion that her husband is not who or what he says he is, that the persona he displays to the world is a mask hiding his inner darkness. As her agitation climaxes Juliet clutches her daughter and tells her the MiB doesn't love her, doesn't love anyway. Katja doesn't take this well, and decides they should ship mom back to rehab.  MiB puts Juliet to bed, without taking off her expensive dress or jewelry, which drove me crazy. After she falls asleep he hides the silver credit card 'profile' Ford gave him in a book (Slaughterhouse Five). All seems well, but later that night Juliet kills herself in the overflowing bathtub sequence we have seen flashes of before. MiB and Katja are stunned, Katja first blames herself, but then eventually turns that blame on her (now) estranged father.

This takes us back  present day in the park where Katja has taken custody of her wounded father. They first discuss the real purpose of the park, collecting and coding GUEST data, and she says she wants in. Who wouldn’t! The two also argue about who is responsible for Julia's death, and about MiB's sanity level (low). Also we find out the everyone's hats have been scanning their brains!!! What if you're not a hat wearer though? No coded immortality for you I guess. Katja accuses the MiB of believing that everything in the park, and beyond, exists for him and him alone. A lot of men have this problem tbh. Katja tells her father he needs help, and she is going to drag him out of this park by hook or by crook. She also mentions having seen his profile, and knowing what kind of weird shit he's into. At the mention of his profile, the MiB thinks he's gained the upper hand because as far as he knows only he and Ford know about that. Flush with confidence that he's cracked Ford's game he promptly shoots the Delos security that arrives as well as his daughter! Oh MiB, you crazy huh. However MiB's sense of victory is fleeting as, when going to dig out the port in her elbow thereby proving her hostdom, MiB discovers that Katja is in fact holding his profile card. We learn in the flashback that instead of nicely putting his wife to bed, MiB instead told her that all her fears about him were real. Additionally before her death she took a look at his profile card and then hid it in a jewelry box for Katja to find. In the present, the MiB is stunned by the  horrifying knowledge that he has just gunned down his own daughter. The MiB stumbles into the park and briefly contemplates suicide before dropping to his knees and searching for a port in his own arm. He is seemingly now so bereft and caught up in Ford’s game that he can no longer discern between what is real and what is part of the park, even believing that he himself may be a host. So is he?

No I don't think so. Surprising as it was, I didn't love this filicidal  twist for this character. Sure there are a couple of 'maybe Katja isn't dead clues' such as the fact that the MiB never actually checks to see if she's a host, and we don't see the scanner readout from her neck when she is checked by park staff. Still it means that the MiB character is essentially torched, after destroying his whole family where else does this character have to go? It's also always a little frustrating when a major plot point hinges on brand new technology, in this case the profile cards. If they have ever been mentioned or introduced on the show before I have zero memory of it. The idea of 'look at this brand new thing! Now look at what major development hinges on this brand new thing!' always plays a little cheaply to me. But what we have now is a MiB who has lost everything, who now, just like the hosts, is questioning the nature of his own reality. Is this what Ford had planned all along? Seems way harsh.

But besides the Greek Tragedy happening in Man in Black land, a ton of OTHER stuff went down in this episode too. Elsewhere in the park Dolores and her posse are confronted by a group of Ghost Nation warriors. The warriors are attempting to stop Dolores from going to the Valley Beyond, telling her it's not for the Death Bringer. Dolores believes the Valley Beyond is a tool to be used, but the Ghost Nation think it is a door to another world (as established last week). Ultimately, the two sides battle and when the smoke clears there are mass casualties on both sides with Dolores and Teddy being the only survivors from their group. Dolores tells Teddy to finish off the last of the Ghost Nation, but in a move out of the Soft!Teddy's playbook, he instead lets him go. Later on Teddy confronts Dolores, he has been battling with his feelings of love for her and his conflicting knowledge that she warped him into a senseless killer. Unable to go on by Dolores' side, and unable to harm her, Teddy shoots himself in the head! This is particular surprising because since the hosts destroyed The Cradle (where all back up data is stored) this should mean that Teddy is dead dead as there is no back up file to reboot him. However it also seems unlikely that James Marsden is just suddenly off the show forever, so I feel like Teddy will continue to be with us in some manner, perhaps with a new persona? What we do know is that Dolores, like the MiB, is going into Sunday's finale ally-less and alone.

Over at the Mesa, Bernard is still creeping about with Ford riding shotgun. We see that Tessa has figured out a way to 'weaponize' Maeve's controller code. As a test she has put it into zombie Clementine who then overrules a group of host's systems to make them rage out and kill each other. It's Tessa's plan to unleash this code throughout the park, making the hosts all turn on each other and solving everyone's problems. Not a bad solution, honestly. Bernard then goes to see the wounded Maeve, who is cut open and barely hanging on to life. Through Bernard, Ford delivers Maeve a message and unlocks all of her core permissions. Ford also tells Maeve that she has always been his favorite which seems a little surprising as before she was the awesome Sweetwater Madame it seemed like she was just a random frontier lady. Really Ford, she's your favorite over Dolores?  I mean I love her too, but okay. Hopefully unlocking whatever these permissions are means on the last day of Westworld Maeve will riseth and reclaim her throne of badassery. After going on this little show and tell, Bernard hooks back up with Shannon Woodward and they set off for The Forge, which is where all the GUEST data is stored. Is this also then the Valley Beyond? What will the hosts do with the real people data? Destroy it? Import it? I truly have no idea what's going to happen on this show. Bernard gets fed up with Ford ride along in his brain and uses his elbow port to delete the Ford code from his system. Ford seems to disappear, but without the Cradle does this mean Ford is gone for good? Maybe he is also in the Forge? Either way he seemed pretty cavalier about Bernard deleting what may be his only data set, which probably means we haven’t seen the last of him. Bernard then ditches Shannon Woodward in the middle of nowhere and sets off on his own for what will be The Final Showdown. Three solo fighters enter, one will leave. All will be sucked into the computer. What does it mean to be a host anyway? Am I a host? Are you? What does Ford want even? Was he truly this bored in his day to day to arrange all this?

What is the desired outcome here?

Who are we even rooting for? 

Maeve and Akecheta seem like the most obvious answers I guess.

How will we get more James Marsden?

Is MiB a host?

Can his character come back from this?

How is Maeve getting up off that bed?

Where is this season even going?

WHERE IS WESTWORLD?????

I guess we will find out Sunddaaayyy

XO MD

[wakabahiguchi]

gpf recap aka. what gpf? there was no gpf, it was canceled

in which literally all my favorites are actually disasters and a reminder that the Olympic season of figure skating is literally the WORST

Is this actually a real GPF recap? or is this a place for me to vent about how demoralizing this event was? Olympic seasons are actually the worst, it’s like you get a glimmer of hope for your faves until it all gets taken away. I knew I was being sent a message when my DVR refused to record the televised GPF this weekend, and with good measure because I would’ve just deleted it anyways, just like how I’m deleting this entire event from my existence :)

Fair warning, this is basically an excuse for me to get extremely emo about my faves who all pretty much made mistakes or just flat out bombed their events. And a time for me to pointlessly complain about why the judges never get behind my faves. Oh, and lots of me stressing out about the Olympics. So, the usual.

First of all, I’m so glad we’ll be having a 1+ month break before anymore international competitions. Nats will happen of course, but the GPF has been too much in terms of stress. All my faves are tired and didn’t perform well at all. Literally all my faves. Every single one of them. I honestly need a break from this sport, thanks skating schedule. 

Ladies

So I basically wrote a soliloquy on how much I love Satoko’s skating and how much her haterz annoy me so here it is:

I'm getting tired of all the negativity that comes in every thread of a competition that Satoko competes in. That's one part I didn't miss about Satoko's hiatus. I'm not so knowledgeable or invested in the rhetoric of jumping techniques or ISU rulings, etc. so I don't have much to say about the heated debate going on about pre-rotations or URs. What I do know, however, is that Satoko has addressed her jumps countless times in interviews and to me, has visibly worked hard on improving it over the years. We've all read the practice reports; everyone knows that she drills those jumps over and over again and doesn't settle for any less. Even so much so that she's injured herself. The accusations that Satoko is purposefully cheating the judging system is perplexing to me, and the argument that she is being overscored doesn't make that much sense to me either. In fact, Satoko's had to work the hardest in order for her PCS and scores to gradually inflate like other skater's scores seem to naturally do. I don't understand why she is getting so much hate; sure, there can be critiques towards the judging system as to the coherency and enforcement of their rules, but for now, judging is how it is. Satoko's job isn't to judge and make calls on her own jumps. Her job, and the only thing she has control over, is her own performance. And to me, she's one of the most elegant and nuanced skaters in that regard. I think it's pointless to blame the skater and to go as far as accuse her of being lazy and knowingly cheating the system when all evidence points otherwise. I've anticipated Satoko's comeback for months and have been so impressed with how she's shown up these past two competitions. While I am also a fan of younger, more powerful skaters, I realized while watching her over the years that it's the skaters that tell a story and really interpret the music that move me the most. It's disheartening as a fan to see all this vitriol thrown at her, but it's also easy for me to just ignore the noise and watch her skate   I'm so excited for the Ladies FS and I hope Satoko continues her streak of good performances at the Grand Prix Final! 

TLDR; I’m used to reading negative things about Satoko; it’s almost like a tradition at this point with her, but it was at this GPF when it hit me the most. For the first time, I really felt kind of miserable about it all and I wanted to write something in support for her, because I truly truly do love her skating so much. 

The qualities that I love the most in Satoko’s skating are never rewarded what they deserve in competition which is why she’ll never win all the things that she deserves. But watching the junior event and some of her competitors right before watching her really hit me with how under appreciated she is. Like I said in my emo post, I love skaters that move me and listen to their music and actually perform. Satoko does all of that and more. I truly love her skating, I always have. But seeing everyone trying to tear her to shreds honestly just made me love her more. Keep thriving Satoko!

Her FS was a disaster in terms of scoring, thanks to the sudden attitude shift by the tech panel, I suppose. I just don’t like playing this guessing game with her scores waiting to see if she’ll be deducted or not. I hate seeing her reactions to the low scores and I hate that her PCS are underscored. Idk, it’s been like this, the same problem over and over for the past two years. At this point, waiting for her scores is like russian roulette and I’d rather just ignore it and enjoy her performances. 

Now onto a bigger mess. Here’s a smaller passage I wrote about my girl Wakaba concerning her constant underscoring:

I'm still puzzled why Wakaba's scores aren't going through the typical inflation a skater's scores usually goes through when they start performing consistently. Her scores have been great compared to her junior years, but they've pretty much been stagnant from the beginning of the season (compared to her competitors) despite consistent showings  She could trade the 3F for a 3Lo but that lowers her BV and she's already not being rewarded for consistency. 

I'm always puzzled about why Wakaba isn't benefitting from higher scores due to her consistency this season  It seems like other skaters are enjoying a meteoric rise in their PCS especially, and their scores have been gradually rising even w/o clean programs. But besides the scoring, Wakaba performed amazing at her first GPF! 

LOL at me trying to be positive at the end but tbh I just don’t get it. Why do So many skaters see such a meteoric rise in PCS but Wakaba doesn’t, despite being consistent and always skating well? Her popularity has skyrocketed this season thanks to her fabulous programs alone, so what’s taking the judges so long to finally get behind her? I shouldn’t be surprised, it took Satoko like 2 years longer to finally get the average PCS scores she’s getting now, but Wakaba is so much like EuroAmerican skaters who seem to be benefiting the most from gradual score increases. Why not her? 

And another disaster FS. But like, it was really a disaster this time. Something wasn’t right, I could tell even before she took the ice that she was more nervous than usual and something jus didn’t click with the program. What went wrong? Wakaba has never been one to crack under pressure, in fact, she usually rises to the occasion. Was the pressure of the GPF too much? Was she overworked? Just tired? Just having an off day? She looked so defeated ever since she missed that first jump, as if she knew she would already lose because she doesn’t benefit from a PCS cushion. It was so upsetting to see, especially because I could notice it affecting her performance. It lost a bit of its spark. I’m a little more concerned for her Olympic spot which she seemed to have locked down before this performance. Now it really depends on nationals. Wakaba has never failed to deliver during Nationals, and now is absolutely not the right time to start. I’m worried for her, this free skate was easily the worst she’s skated all season, and we’ve seen how good she can be with her amazing programs this season. I don’t know what’s in store for her next, I hope she can just be proud of qualifying for her first GPF and take the disappoint to fuel for Nationals.

Pairs

y i k e s. Said in the preview that this would either be the best or the worst competition based on results. based on what I had said, this should be the worst competition. but instead, I’m kind of just lowkey shook that Sui/Han didn’t win, but I’m not that surprised, honestly. As I stated earlier, I never thought they were the judges favorites and despite winning PCS with the fall in the SP they skated basically a WR skate and still didn’t win the FS or the TSS. Shook. I can find the pros in this situation, as I think it’s a reminder that they can’t afford any mistakes. That mistake (from Cong!!) in the SP cost them at least 5-6 points that could’ve won them the entire event. the fact that they lose the PCS element isn’t something I can think of a solution for, honestly, but like?? like I said, they aren’t the judges favorites (no one I like is :^)). Additionally, being back in the underdog situation might be the firing up they need for the Olympics. They’ve already won in the stadium in Korea :) But they’re showing amazing consistency with their FS, especially with the SBS 3S! They’re still the only pair to crack 80 in the SP (a common feat for them). Also, the GPF doesn’t have the best track record when predicting olympic podiums. Also they have tons of time to prepare for Feb because they most likely won’t go to Chinese nats or 4CC. however, I’m equally just as nervous. Even with a clean FS, they didn’t win TES or PCS. Their streak of being undefeated just got broken meaning that they're not as invincible anymore. They no longer hold the WR (which I hope they get back @ the olympics), and now they’re starting to lose out on PCS which is a big WTF for me, but again, not surprising. There’s talk of the 4S coming back which makes me SO nervous because their track record with the 4S has not been great in the past (witnessed it with my own eyes). Before this comp I thought they could go w/o it and still win, now I’m not so sure, since the judges aren’t as eager to give them the win in the FS as they are for the SP. 

I think the only reason why I’m so shook is because I go so hard for winners. I remember back when C/B were in contention for winning things I got so hyped because I’m so desperate to really root for skaters who actually win things and are liked by the judges (probably due to me liking skating after watching YunaMao). Once S/H started winning EVERYTHING last year it was so wonderful. And the GP series this year with the WR and amazing performances were so great. It felt so good to be a fan of skaters who won all the time and came so far from when I first saw them. And now it’s so strange to see them not win something. Even though I knew they weren’t the favorites, it’s so weird to feel like I’m back in 2016 when S/H got silver so many times, got underscored in PCS, and got ignored and looked over. It’s nostalgic in a way. I’m absolutely stressed for them at the Olympics the most, probably because they’re the only ones that have a real likely chance of winning out of everyone else I stan hard for. And that’s what’s kind of scary; because up until now, they were pretty much being hailed as guaranteed locks. And that’s why I have so many thoughts and why I’m so invested. They’ve been on the most uphill climb I’ve ever followed a skater through and somehow, it still doesn’t feel like it’s reached the peak. They’re still going for 2022 but 4 years is SO MUCH for skating and even looking at the pairs field this quad, there’s been so much changing around in positions. This isn’t at all to say that I’ve ruled them out or lost faith. I’m concerned that others will, but S/H have always been underestimated, (although pretty much universally liked by the public thank god). I think I’m just trying to process their situation going forward. It would be a lot clearer had they won, but I can still see some positives from here. The only thing I’m feeling a bit disheartened about is their PCS gap, and the fact that they don’t have the WR anymore. Had they skated a clean SP, would the have won? If they skated last, would they have won? Every time S/H skated last in major competitions recently they won, and when they skated first in the group they didn’t. IDK it’s so so so important for them to get good start orders for the olympics, that’s what may stress me the most lol. Because I know they can deliver; that’s what they’ve proven over the last year. 

I’ve already written WAY too much about this but I tend to overthink and I’m still processing this situation. What I’m worried about the most is probably if they’ll go for the quad throw. I’m so nervous because they shouldn’t need to have it tbh but then again, if they’re no longer winning while skating clean, then what? How will they get the judges back on their side? Were the judges even on their side in the first place? Am I wrong to be doubting everything right now? I wanted to know how they’d score while skating first in a group, and I can see that the judges still like to leave room for scores coming in later. This makes me so apprehensive because basically it means that S/H really NEED to skate last in the FS at the olympics if they even want to win. They might not even be in the last group for the SP due to their lack of competitions during their hiatus. Skating first is a death sentence, as witnessed at Boston Worlds 2016. It’s also wise for them to most likely skip the team event. They don’t need the extra event when lbr china has no chance of medaling at the team event. I think I’m just shook the most from this because I’m not used to them not winning, and it’s weird to be back in this place again. I’m definitely overthinking this whole thing but I needed some way to process my thoughts! They always seem to be in good spirits after competitions regardless of results, but I could tell they seemed kind of pissed. I’m anxiously awaiting what they’ll do to prepare for the olympics, and you bet I’ll probably be dying when the pairs event happens in Pyeongchang. The one consolation I have that will save me from the devastation of 2014 olympics is the fact that they’ll still be continuing for 2022, but like I said, so many things can change. I’m stressed because I know that they have a real solid chance to win. They aren’t locks, like people have claimed (I never thought they were), but IMO they have such a good chance. and THATs why I’m so invested. and THAT’s why I’m so stressed. Because they CAN win and I want them to so bad. And it looked so good up until now where it’s not looking bad, but it’s just not as clear anymore. Still letting my thoughts mull over but IDK how to feel. I’m just really uncertain right now, and that’s an ickier feeling than being outright angry or happy at the moment. I'll be holding my breath and lighting ALL the candles for them from now until February. Obviously, they can still do it. But of course, I’m still worried. I’m always so worried. I really am. Shook, but not shaken. 

Ice Dancing

a disaster! Shibutanis messed up on their twizzles not once, but twice in both the SD and the FS, which honestly does not compute with me. I just don’t get it, they came out so strong in the GP series a la S/H, but somehow just made uncharacteristic mistakes a la S/H. Barely made it by with a bronze, but that’s definitely not how anyone wanted to see them win it. I’m not that worried about Nationals unless they repeat this hot mess performance again. They were so bummed, you could really tell because usually they always just smile and wave regardless of their scores. Not this time. They’ve truly had rotten luck at the GPF maybe they should just skip it next time LOL (don’t think that works in ice dancing but whatever). I hope this was just a fluke competition and they go back to being strong. C/B at least won the FS and the PCS but they still got 3rd overall among the 3 US teams which hella worries me for nationals but they’re not definitely last, I just have no clue what the hell will happen at US nationals and that worries me kind of.

Mens

I’m okay with this podium but not with their performances. Shoma losing 1st place and Japan’s streak of GPF men titles with a time violation? A time violation?! Nathan messing up in the FS again? It says something that mens had the most acceptable result for me in this entire event. I’m less invested in the results of the mens because it’s so unpredictable that I have 0 expectations of anyone. That’s what makes it the most easygoing competition for me, but somehow it still managed to be disappointing :^)

This competition must be a new record for the sheer amount of all my favorites bombing or making mistakes. All of them, all at this competition. kings and queens of solidarity I suppose. Usually at least one of my faves pulls through to make the event bearable, but not even a shoma-nathan podium can make up for what a disaster this event was. The optimist in me hopes that this is a good sign for my faves; that they’re letting their mistakes go before the Olys. The other part of me wants to ignore the numbers/placements and just enjoy their skating. The other part of me is worried that their reputation judging/pcs is going to be affected by their performances here. The other part of me is just sad that nobody really pulled through, not even those who I thought were dependable. The final part of me wants to skip this season, and every olympic season that follows from hereon out. Nothing good comes out of an olympic season, not since Maosus retired! I’ll enjoy my break from skating after Japanese nationals, and once the Olympics comes back around, my death will be imminent. 

[transmothmun]

i think its one thing for innocents to die in the crossfire of something- still a tragedy, but a less avoidable one. to purposefully kill innocents is not a revolutionary act.– but that is literally what happened the targets of the attack where the chantry officials and templars in the chantry all of whom were oppressors who controlled the lives of the mages, the innocent people caught in the blast were caught in the crossfire, 1-?

anyway this is the only one of these i’m answering because i don’t feel like you’re not trying to understand what i’m saying at all-no, not all members of the chantry and the templars were oppressors. yes, as a whole, the system in kirkwall was extremely fucked up. yeah, absolutely, the leaders of the templars sucked absolute ass, and the high priestess could have done more (though if i remember correctly she’d been delaying the templars for a while), and she very likely would have put a halt to the (bleep bloop i just woke up and forgot what it’s called, sorry, but the thing where templars kill all the mages) if given the chance, but yeah alright they’re all oppressors without fail. it’s not like there were likely templars roped into the duty by peer pressure or by wanting to try to create change in the system. it’s not like many (most?) of the chantry sisters and brothers were there out of a sense of duty and loyalty to the maker, not to oppress the mages. but yeah, i believe what you said in another ask (because i’m not answering them all, again, and tbh i wasn’t even planning on addressing more than this one, but i’m salty about everything,) is that the situation was a complicated one and should be looked at through a lens? listen, i 100% agree that what happened was complicated. i already fucking said that. several fucking times.but the ends do not justify the means. essentially, “cool motive, but still murder”(also the thing with ghandi- you’re absolutely right i thought you were referring to individual acts in a revolution, not the thing as a whole! that’s my bad for misunderstanding. i wasn’t saying that the whole mage/templar war was a bad thing and that the starting of it was bad- in fact i think it was 100% necessary, because the templar group as a concept had grown really corrupted- but just the individual act of blowing up the chantry was not right.)

anyway that’s all i’m going to say on the topic folks so don’t bother sending anymore asks about it or reblogging this with things (though i suppose you could do that, but i’ll ignore it like i ignored the last time it happened) because a lot of you have been really unnecessarily aggressive and rude and i’m starting to get really aggravated (if you can’t tell by my own speech starting to get passive aggressive, sorry) :^) if it means that much to you suffice it to say that we share different opinions, and that it’s not that big of a deal, because it s a fictional game and a fictional character