#tbh the only bad part was comparing a dog to a child.......

[lemonbreelnd]

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[navarice]

my dearest fellow mdzs stans, i really don't want to spoil anyone's fun but sometimes some things must be said. please do NOT mistake fanon characteristics for canon characteristics because by GOD is it frustrating to dissect a character when all anyone wants to do is blindly turn away from the very vivid and metastasizing flaws.

jiang cheng is an extremely complicated character, and that's why we love him. but by god, he is a jealous, self-victimizing asshole with a massive inferiority complex who likes to torture (probably) innocent look-a-likes of his (as far as he knew) dead adjacent family member. jesus christ this isn't some simple case of miscommunication (well it is but, you know no amount of communication will ever mend the giant chasm that developed between them. especially not with asians raised within the most classical case of asian parenting, i mean come on now) but a matter of deep and intense self-loathing developed since early childhood projecting violently outwards. let me be clear. he hates wei wuxian. he loathes him. he wants to kill him with his own hands again and again so some part of his convoluted sense of justice and superiority will be fulfilled. he's a classist, a bully, and abusive to everyone around him. ong at the end of mdzs, i was nearly crying tears of joy when jin guangyao flayed him flat on his ass bc that man needed to hear it. he needed to feel it. he needed to stop blaming others and blame himself.

and!! he's homophobic!! the entire cultivation world is, yes, but he's the only one we see give wei ying and lan zhan active shit for it!!

point is...his complexity makes him interesting. as a child, he was pretty alright tbh. he was understandably upset when three of his dogs got taken away and he saw his dad give a completely random kid such a gentle hug when jiang cheng never received one so far. he was a kid, and it was sad and helped the readers get a glimpse at the already dysfunctional family dynamics before wei ying came into the picture. as an adolescent/teen, yes he had a lot of unresolved rage and inferiority issues building up when he was constantly being compared to wei wuxian by his mother and not given enough reassurance from his father (once again, all present before wei ying...everyone just likes to dump the shit on him bc it's easier to point fingers at others than at yourself). perhaps he could have turned out differently if literally either of his parents stepped up and took accountability. however, after the burning of lotus pier? after the golden core transfer? after wei ying stuck around as his subordinate just as he promised, and protected jiang cheng like he promised, and defected just to save the yunmeng clan's reputation so jiang cheng doesn't have to put up with the other clan's shit, still continuing to keep his promise? after wei ying's death? idk abt y'all, but all bets are off bro.

mxtx makes it a point to make him so irredeemable. he's an exploration of what can go wrong if you let your traumas, self-hatred, and revenge fantasies blind you. he has the worst traits of his parents for a reason, directly contrasting with the other sibling, who is a perfect picture of eldest daughters born into a dysfunctional family. jiang yanli has the best traits of her parents (in terms of compassion and standing up for her family), but the family dynamics also made her the way she was. the responsible, the mediator, the occasional mother, stepping in where madam yu cannot.

there's just so much potential to hold him accountable buried under the pretense of misunderstandings and kinnie moments. he just had so many chances, more than any other character, to make a different choice. to actually look past his misgivings and unlearn the bad habits he used to protect himself as a child. i'm not saying he has to magically heal from all his traumas, but at the very least know not to be like his parents. but he wasn't written that way. because that is what happens when you give into your insecurities and generational trauma.

bottom line: jiang cheng is a fantastic archetype that needs to be explored in all his authenticity, including his moments of loyalty and cruelty.

[iheartbookbran]

Ok so actually my biggest problem with the whole “Daenerys will burn KL” theory—not even the Mad Queen Dany theory, which is of course very sexist for obvious reasons, but just like, the idea that Dany will ~accidentally~ ignite the wildfire in the city, burning it all to the ground. That, at first, doesn’t sound that bad, but the longer I think about it the more I hate it because tbh it doesn’t do anything for her character? And also… that fate for her is just down right cruel.

Like, the most frequent argument I see on why this would be at all satisfactory for Dany’s arc is basically that it would be a sort of lesson for her about the dangers of unchecked power and the real threat the Dragons can pose on humans and that she shouldn’t use them to fight against other people. And that’s all well and good, excellent message… except that’s not something Dany’s ever really needed to learn? Not anymore that her fellow rulers, which I will touch on more detail later, but in general Dany has seen what the abuse of power can do. Starting with her conflicting feelings regarding Viserys and how she recognizes that even though he was her brother and she loved him, he also abused his power over her as her older brother, her only family and her king; she feels guilt about the atrocities Drogo committed to the lhazarene and tries to help them; she feels so much guilt about not handling things correctly in Astapor that she decides to throw away all her plans to go to Westeros and instead stays in Meereen.

And about not knowing the true danger that her dragons can pose? I mean, this is the same girl that literally agonizes across several of her ADWD chapters because Drogon killed a child, and then takes the extreme measure of caging Rhaegal and Viserion to prevent that from ever happening again. I think she’s at least a little bit aware that the dragons can be dangerous, thank you very much.

Ok so this got long...

Anyways, the only time Dany legit uses Drogon to harm someone and not just as bluff was at the house of the Undying, where she was being attacked, and in Astapor… and like, lmao, that asshole Kraznys mo Nakloz and the rest of his slaver buddies deserved it. Don’t at me. Also, Dany’s hardly the only one with a big magical and deadly beast at her disposal, why didn’t Robb had to go through some horrifying traumatic incident to learn he shouldn’t use Grey Wind in battle to tear his enemies’ throats. Bran will be learning about the dangers of abusing power, but that’s linked to his magic powers and an actual reprehensible thing he’s doing, not the use of his glorified prehistoric dog to kill, which he’s done, just like Robb. By all means let the narrative hold Dany accountable for her mistakes… but her actual mistakes and not shit she has no control over, because she doesn’t have much control over Drogon or the other dragons even though she’s trying to, and that’s very obvious in her last ADWD chapter where she’s delirious and Drogon could kill her at any moment, and she knows that.

The other big argument people make for Dany burning KL (even if it’s by accident!) is that it will teach her about the price of war, that someone as young as her shouldn’t be leading armies and conquering kingdoms, and that fighting for the Iron Throne is not a worthy cause, and I feel like that misses the actual point of her story by a mile. First of all because a) Dany is hardly the only teenage ruler in the story and b) this is a fantasy medieval story, a lot of the characters shouldn’t be doing the things they do, aaaand yet. Also speaking of other teenage rulers with far more power that they should have—Robb and Jon, being the biggest examples.

Granted, Robb and Jon aren’t exactly successful during their time as rulers, they’re literally betrayed and killed by their own men (even if Jon will technically come back for round 2 of bullshit he’s too tired for). But the moral of their stories is not that they lost because theirs was an unworthy cause and they were stupid kids wholly unprepared for their roles. And I actually partially agree! They are just kids, including Dany, and they shouldn’t be responsible for looking after so many others and going to battle, but their cause is still just and worthy, even with all the mistakes they make along the way. Robb didn’t loose because he was wrong in demanding justice for his family or trying to protect the riverlands from the Lannisters and their minions, he lost because Tywin Lannister was a giant coward who couldn’t take him out in a fair fight.

Likewise, it isn’t wrong of Jon to try to incorporate refugees from beyond the Wall into Westeros. He’s not too stupid and honorable to do politics like his father (how I hate when people insult Jon and Ned like that), and while he did some very obvious mistakes that inevitably ended in a coup and in him dying, this is more connected to his inability to let go of his ties with his family (mainly Arya or who he believes to be her), and in isolating himself from his friends and the people he could actually trust.

I’ve always thought that Dany and Jon share a parallel narrative within the story, so while Jon is struggling with that Dany is faced with similar problems. She cages her dragons, that to her represent the only family she has left, and she tries to compromise with the slavers, marry a man she doesn’t love, pretend she’s ok with reopening the fighting pit. While she tries her best to rule wisely in Meereen, it all comes at the cost of betraying herself and her beliefs, so it’s no surprise when it all crashes around her and she’s betrayed and nearly killed. Ironically, it is Drogon who comes to rescue her.

If they are monsters, so am I.—Daenerys II, ADWD.

This is hands down one of my favorite Dany quotes from the whole series, and I hate that it’s been given such a negative connotation in the fandom, when for me it represents Dany’s humanity and compassion at the fullest.

GRRM has a knack for humanizing the ‘monsters’ of his story, for showing the good in the outcasts and the ugly and the scary. He embraces their ‘otherness’ and makes them the heroes of his stories; Arya, Bran, Brienne, Dany, Tyrion, Jon, Theon and many others are all compared to monsters or beasts at one point or another in the books.

Dany sees herself in her dragons, literal monsters in every sense of the word. Later on she faces Drogon inside the pit, and in that moment you could say that she accepts that ‘monstrous’ part of her, and in doing so she’s saved from her fate of dying at the hands of the men who would crucify innocent children and gleefully profit off of the suffering of their fellow human beings while watching them fight each other to the death for their own amusement. Now tell me who’s the real monster in this situation.

But shortly before that happens, Dany is able to see the humanity in Tyrion, an outcast who has been branded as monstrous and unlovable due to his disability all his life, a man who has come to believe in his abusers’ rhetoric about him so strongly that he’s started to act cruel and detached. She saves his life. She sees value in his life when few others would, because she cares.

I’ve always find it funny that the “dragons plant no trees” is—another—example fans use to argue in favor of Dany’s descent into Darkness™ because the actual scene goes like this:

You are a queen, her bear said. In Westeros.

"It is such a long way," she complained. "I was tired, Jorah. I was weary of war. I wanted to rest, to laugh, to plant trees and see them grow. I am only a young girl."

No. You are the blood of the dragon. The whispering was growing fainter, as if Ser Jorah were falling farther behind. Dragons plant no trees. Remember that. Remember who you are, what you were made to be. Remember your words.—Daenerys X, ADWD.

Now am I the only one who finds it at least a bit relevant that it’s freaking Jorah Mormont aka Jorah the Enslaver whom Dany’s subconscious, at her literal lowest moment, utilizes to represent this particular thought, which btw I’ve always interpreted as Dany’s own self-loathing manifesting in her, and this is something she’s actually always struggled with—the idea that she’s not enough and she’s failing. Because above all things, even Westeros or the Iron Throne, what Dany wants is peace, she wants to plant trees.

When Dany made her descent, Reznak and Skahaz dropped to their knees. "Your Worship shines so brightly, you will blind every man who dares to look upon you," said Reznak. […] This match will save our city, you will see."

"So we pray. I want to plant my olive trees and see them fruit." Does it matter that Hizdahr's kisses do not please me? Peace will please me. Am I a queen or just a woman?—Daenerys VII, ADWD.

But of course the world doesn’t work like that, and so long as there’s Jorahs and Tywins and Eurons out there, men who would take the freedom of humans and submit them to their will, Dany can’t have the luxury of peace, just like Jon can’t have the luxury of belonging and family so long as there’s people still beyond the Wall who need his protection.

And I think that’s fine. It’s fine that Dany failed, it will help her develop as a character and realize that there’s no room to compromise with slavers, the metaphorical monsters of the story who do far more harm than the other more literal ‘monsters’ of the story. So that when she has to face down Euron Greyjoy—who btw, there’s a high chance he will end up stealing one of Dany’s dragons via Victarion using Dragonbinder… y’know, as in enslaving one of her children and using said dragon to inflict god knows what horrors, yet not many people ever consider this for some reason?—she will know. When she has to face down the Others, the magical ice fairies with no regard for human life, she will know.

That’s why I believe that it would make absolutely no sense for Dany to have to go through such a tragic and traumatic experience like burning a whole city even by pure accident, over something that’s either never been a problem with her character or she’s well into her way of learning anyways, so it would just feel repetitive. As I have pointed out, she’s already reached one of the lowest moments of her arc. Not saying there will be no other blows for her, and probably the destruction of KL will be one of them, and knowing Dany she will feel responsibility over it no matter what, but that doesn’t mean she has to be the culprit, intentional or otherwise.

[boneless-mika]

Thanks @agenderautomaton for giving me the opportunity to have fun (also not going to tag anyone bc I don't know anyone else XD)

indoor plants or gardens (in this scenario it's a garden of weeds and wild flowers, I cannot keep plants alive anywhere)

cloud-watching or star-gazing (honestly don't care for either but I do sometimes look at the stars while listening to music in the winter)

water or fire

paperback or hardcover (don't need to break the spine to read them, epic fantasy books don't come in "part 1" and "part 2"; I'm not going to buy one book for the price of two)

running or hiking (maybe an odd choice as I have injured myself quite badly by running several times but at least if I get injured while running I can call an ambulance. Not gonna risk my life somewhere with no cellphone reception)

sleeping with socks or without socks (I only wear socks if I'm going out or if I'm walking quite far to avoid blisters from my shoes)

fruit or vegetables (Strawberries, my beloved)

hanging plants or succulents (not to take care of, I killed my succulent in under a year)

dark wood or light wood

handwritten or typed

instagram or pinterest (it's great for saving links to recipes...)

braids or pigtails

dc or marvel (just bc Hellblazer is my favorite rn)

books or movies (these are such different types of media, makes no sense to compare them imo. A book is going to last way longer and finding new ones I'm interested in is easier)

oceans or meadows (I have a phobia of fish if you hadn't heard)

forests or fields

sweet or salty

ice cream or chocolate

hoodies or sweaters (I used to think I was a hoodies guy but then I got some sweaters and I realized the hood annoys me infinitely and while the big pocket a lot of my hoodies have is really convenient for putting my phone in, hay gets trapped in there forever)

long hair or short hair (I'm growing my hair out for a certain hairstyle I thought was cool, regretted it instantly, still committed to it tho. Not only is long hair detrimental to my wellbeing for no reason. It's also extremely annoying to wash, takes ages to dry, gets tangled, wearing my overear headphones is super uncomfortable bc the hair always gets in the way)

piercings or tattoos (I sort of have to pick it bc I have piercings but no tattoos + getting tattoos is harder than piercings)

summer or winter (I have a history of slipping and falling which is quite painful as I injured my tailbone pretty bad as a child)

boots or sneakers (I wear sneakers in -17 degrees, 20 cm of snow... I like boots though, just don't automatically decide to wear them ever)

cars or motorcycles (I lack the balance to ever be on a motorcycle)

curls or straight hair

castles or cottages

sunny days or storms (It's storming right now, I love it tbh)

reptiles or birds

disney or nickelodeon

strawberries or watermelon (I can't believe watermelon has been put on the same level as strawberries. That's like comparing water to whatever the best drink is)

essay or posters (genuinely do not understand this one... If it's which one I'd rather make I'll say essay bc anything else is nearly always a group project)

phones or laptops

glass or stone

dark or light

photos or painting

circuses or theatres

reading or writing

dogs or cats (illegal question warning)

poetry or novels

monsters or ghosts

thrift shops or libraries (tbh I often find thrift shops crowded and barely enough space for me to move)

fiction or non-fiction

[em-neko]

KISSED BY THE BADDEST BIDDER MAIN ROUTE REVIEW

hey! so i just finished watching kaylaslovely on youtube’s review of the main five (+ rhion) bidders routes and so i thought i would make my own review, because i felt like it. so here you go!

i will be reviewing all nine main routes, or main stories. each story will be rated using these five categories: plot, pace, romance, mc (since she’s different in every story) and love interest. at the end, i’ll give the story its final rating and i’ll let you know whether i recommend it or not.

i will try not to include any spoilers, but just in case, consider this your spoiler warning!

remember, these are my personal opinions.

summary: you are a maid at a hotel called the tres spade hotel, owned by the ichinomiya group. one day, you get dragged into the ivc (an exclusive party for the elite, held inside the hotel) and you basically get lost. while you’re wandering around the area, you enter a storage room where a lot of expensive items are held. little did you know, those items belonged to a blackmarket auction, the ivc was only a cover for said auction. being the clumsy queen that you are, you manage to bump into the statue of venus and knock it over. when the men responsible for the expensive items find you, they throw you into a giant birdcage and put you up for auction instead of the statue.

from here, you can pick one of the main five love interest (eisuke, soryu, mitsunari, mamoru and ota) to buy you. the other love interest (except for rhion) only appear in the second/third season, they purchase you from eisuke (presuming eisuke bought you but you never fell in love). rhion is part of an “au”, but his story technically takes place in season one. does that make sense? okay, perfect. now, on to the review!

EISUKE ICHINOMIYA: THE ARROGANT CEO

plot: 8/10, the plot is a cliche and fairly overused trope... but i love it. it’s well executed and feels unique and original, even though the core of the plot really isn’t.

pace: 8/10, in my opinion, i think the pace was very good. it wasn’t too slow or too fast (although it leaned on the slower side) and i feel like mc fell in love with eisuke at an appropriate time in the story. the ending felt slightly rushed but i feel like that’s a common theme with love 365 stories.

romance: 7/10, not as romantic as other routes (i mean, it’s eisuke we’re talking about), especially at the beginning, but there were moments that made me smile.

mc: 6/10, she’s definitely a bit of a pushover in this route. i wish she stood up to eisuke more, i wish she was sassier, it would’ve made the story sooo much funnier!

love interest: 7/10, eisuke’s kind of a jerk in this story, but hey at least he’s entertaining? (he has his cute moments tho)

final score: 72% (b-)

recommendation: sure? to be honest, it was pretty okay, a little boring compared to the other routes but for the low low price of literally 0$ (his main route is free), it’s not bad.

SORYU OH: THE COLD MOBSTER

plot: 9/10, i really liked his plot! i’ll admit, i’m not a fan of gang related stories, in fact, i usually hate them, but soryu’s story genuinely surprised me! i especially loved the fact that mc made a female friend along the way, usually other females in stories are seen as rivals (as in eisuke’s case), but it wasn’t the case here and that made me really happy. we support women in his household <3

pace: 7/10, the ending was really rushed in my opinion, like way more rushed than the usual rushed love 365 ending. when it ended i was like, “are you serious?” it just felt abrupt. the rest was fine tho.

romance: 8/10, the romance was subtle (due to soryu’s cold and mysterious demeanor), but you could definitely feel it. there was sooo much chemistry between the characters, so it felt really romantic.

mc: 8/10, she’s a little boring, but at least she’s relatable, like her actions/choices make sense in this story.

love interest: 9/10, c’mon, who doesn’t love soryu? there’s a reason why the whole fandom simps for this man. he’s the perfect mix of cold and innocent, and his reaction to regular people things (like going to the supermarket) is hilarious! he’s really sweet too and you can tell that he really cares for mc.

final score: 82% (a-)

recommendation: yes! even if you don’t like gang related stories, i’d still give his route a chance.

MITSUNARI BABA: THE WOMANIZING THIEF

plot: 9/10, i really loved the plot. it’s basically a romcom with action and criminal activity, it’s gold.

pace: 8/10, there were some parts that felt rushed, but overall i think the pace was fine.

romance: 10/10, the most romantic story of them all (i don’t expect any less from baba). their interactions are so cute and i loved watching them get closer and more comfortable with each other.

mc: 8/10, even though she’s kind of dumb, it works because this story is more comedic, her naivety and trusting nature helped the plot advance rather than disrupting it. she’s also really sassy in this story, i loved watching her shoot down baba!

love interest: 9/10, i love baba! i love the womanizer character trope, i know it’s an unpopular opinion but i still love it. he’s actually a total dork and he has the best lines, i smiled throughout the whole story!

final score: 88% (a)

recommendation: it’s one of my favorite main stories, so i definitely recommend it! however, if you don’t like romcoms or womanizers, you’ll probably hate this story lol

MAMORU KISHI: THE SLACKER DETECTIVE

plot: 8/10, his plot is intense. it’s action packed, there’s twists and turns and it definitely kept me on my toes. however, it is a little hard to keep up with at times, i definitely had moments where i got lost.

pace: 8/10, like mitsunari’s story, the pace was a little inconsistent, there were times when scenes felt rushed, idk if it was on purpose because it was a more “action-y” story, but even some of the “romantic” moments felt rushed.. which was a shame because there weren’t many.

romance: 7/10, it wasn’t very romantic, honestly. they had their cute moments, but they were rare. they have good chemistry, like the best friends you hardcore ship, but there just wasn’t much actual romance. i would compare their relationship to judy and nick in zootopia, like friends but a little more.

mc: 5/10, the mc actually bites back in this story, which is refreshing. however, she nags mamoru a lot, and i got sick of it really fast, to the point where i’d roll my eyes whenever she opened her mouth towards the end of the story. she acts like mamoru is a child incapable of taking care of himself, yet she gets angry when he calls her “kid” or treats her like one? wtf? ALSO, one third of the story is her being jealous of a dead person, which is literally so unreasonable and illogical. i could rant about her all day i swear.

love interest: 9/10, mamoru is so relatable, it’s not even funny. i love the way he speaks and i love the way he reacts in situations. he acts like he doesn’t care, but you know damn well the man cares more about mc than anyone else. he’s also surprisingly patient (which, few bidders are), as i said, the mc is really immature in this story, and even tho he acts annoyed, he never actually gets angry at her. there’s something really cozy about him.

final score: 74% (b)

recommendation: if you like action packed stories, i would recommend this story! with that being said, the mc really ruined it for me.

OTA KISAKI: THE DECEPTIVE ARTIST

plot: 5/10, it was too predictable. literally three chapters in i was like, “oh, i see where this is going” and sadly i was right! it was really dramatic, which i actually enjoyed, but the overly predictable plot ruined it for me.

pace: 7/10, the pace was fine, however i feel like mc realized she was in love with ota at the wrong time. i wished they would’ve picked a different moment (maybe later) in the story to make her realize she’s in love with him, or just change the scene completely. because it was like one moment she just saw him as her buyer and at the snap of a finger she’s in love with him, like what?

romance: 5/10, there was literally one romantic scene in the whole story. there were some other cute moments but they were completely overshadowed by ota’s attitude. also, the whole dog fetish really turned me off, especially because the mc was clearly uncomfortable with it.

mc: 7/10, i feel bad for her. she’s really submissive and shy in this story, but like it makes sense (i would act the same as her tbh, i’d be too weirded out to give any sass), so she gets a pass.

love interest: 4/10, ota is so unlikeable in the first season omg i’d almost forgotten how much i used to hate him. however, he becomes really sweet after season 3, you just have to suffer through the first seasons lmao

final score: 56% (d)

recommendation: i really like ota but that story was not it. i wouldn’t waste my coins, honestly. if you really wanna read ota, read one of his substories or any story after season 3, don’t bother with his main route. however, his cg’s were one of the prettiest, so hooray?

SHUICHI HISHIKURA: THE ALOOF POLITICIAN

plot: 8/10, i liked this plot. it felt more serious than the other stories, but that wasn’t a bad thing.

pace: 7/10, same problem as soryu’s story, the last chapters were hella rushed and it made the falling action pretty confusing.

romance: 7/10, it wasn’t very “romantic”, but there were definitely scenes were you could really feel the attraction between the two. i find they compliment each other well.

mc: 8/10, this story was not meant to be a comedy, but the mc made it one. she’s so stupid that it’s actually hilarious, i honestly couldn’t stop laughing at her cluelessness. usually i’d find stupidity annoying, but in this story, i loved it. it made the heavy storyline easier to digest.

love interest: 9/10, shuichi’s a vengeful bitch, which makes his soft moments that much cuter. i like how he has his quirks, and how he has a professional stoic side as well as a soft caring side.

final score: 78% (b+)

recommendation: yeah, for sure. however, if you don’t enjoy the stoic stern hard-to-read type, you might not enjoy this story.

HIKARU AIHARA: THE MYSTERIOUS HITMAN

plot: 9/10, i really enjoyed this plot. it was like a romcom mixed with a dark-ish drama, it was really unique.

pace: 8/10, the pace of the story was good, however i felt like there was a bit of repetition in the story, in scenes and in dialogue.

romance: 7/10, i absolutely love hikaru and mc’s bantering! i think they’re so cute and it’s just really funny to read. it’s subtlety romantic and you can definitely tell that they like each other. with that being said, hikaru’s treatment of mc at the beginning of the story really ticked me off.

mc: 9/10, okay, she had her annoying moments like she always does, but the mc is so funny in this story! she reminds me of the mc from our private homeroom. i really liked her.

love interest: 9/10, here’s the thing, if you don’t like tsundere’s... you’ll fucking hate hikaru, because he’s a tsundere to the max. i love tsundere’s sooo, yeah i loved him hihi. he’s fucking adorable and his dishonesty towards his feelings is really cute. he’s also a sad boy, which made me have a soft spot for him.

final score: 84% (a-)

recommendation: honestly, i did not enjoy this story the first time i read it. i think it was because i didn’t understand hikaru’s sense of humor at the beginning, so i thought he was just a dick and mc was an idiot for liking him, but when i reread it after reading a couple of hikaru’s substories, i actually liked it. so, if you like tsundere’s i’d definitely recommend this story, if not, steer clear.

LUKE FOSTER: THE GOOD DOCTOR

plot: 9/10, i liked it! it felt a lot sadder/darker than the other plots, but it wasn’t overly depressing. there were lighthearted moments throughout and i like how luke gave mc a job instead of using her for personal gain or pushing her around all day. it was also surprisingly intense, with a few steamier scenes here and there.

pace: 8/10, the pace was pretty good, but like hikaru’s route there were scenes that made me go “i feel like i’ve read this before...” there was a rhythm to the story, or at least that’s what it felt like.

romance: 8/10, this story was definitely more intense than romantic. they still had their cute moments though, especially towards the end.

mc: 6/10, the mc is so nosy, impatient and short tempered in this story omg. she’s so quick to judgement and she has no sympathy towards luke for like the first 11 episodes of the story which really bothered me. also, she didn’t seem to understand luke’s way of showing affection and it got a little frustrating. she’s just exceptionally bad at reading people.

love interest: 8/10. if you love sad sweet boys who are surprisingly hot, you’ll love him. his collarbone obsession might weird some people out, but i found it hilarious and it was the perfect way to balance such a sad story.

final score: 78% (b+)

recommendation: if you like sad yet cute stories, i think you’ll really like this one.

RHION HATTER: THE MAD AUCTIONEER

plot: 10/10, his plot is amazing! it’s so adorable, innocent and unique, all while somehow managing to make me a little emo. rhion’s also the only bidder (besides luke) who didn’t use mc for personal gain, he actually bought her for some sort of companionship which was really refreshing (wow, the bar is set low yikes).

pace: 9/10, the pace was really great, it’s a slow burn too, which i love, but the last couple of episodes felt a little rushed.

romance: 10/10, it’s probably as (or maybe even more) romantic than baba’s story. there are so many cute moments, even when mc and rhion don’t really know each other yet. the romance is really sweet and pure, but it feels so real.

mc: 9/10, i love how she interacts with rhion! she’s relatable in this story and her actions are sensible, she has a mind of her own and she isn’t afraid to speak it.

love interest: 9/10, it’s rhion. he’s so precious! his shy and sweet nature is such a nice change from the other bidders and i really love how he slowly opens up to mc. also i think his alter ego of the mad hatter is really cool!

final score: 94% (a+)

recommendation: it’s my favorite story on the app for a reason. i definitely recommend it, even if you’re more into the sexy stories, i still think you should give rhion’s main route a chance! i made my friend who isn’t even into otome games play it and she really liked it.

FINAL RATING: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

i’ll admit, trying to look past the human trafficking bs was really difficult at first, but if you can manage to turn a blind eye to it and try to remember that it’s just a video game and everything’s fictional, it’s pretty good. the love interests are great, there’s some action, there’s a some drama and there’s a lot of humor. the sub stories are really good too!

[chal-lelerc]

ok so like. here’s my harry potter house thing. i’m ngl i tried to do this but then i deleted it bc it was getting too long and i didn’t have the attention span but. it kept sticking in my brain so i decided to pick it back up and as such, i’ve lost the original post but it was a quarantine activity (sort drivers into houses, assign quidditch positions, explain) posted by @verstappened​. houses done first, then positions, then explanations for both. i tried to make feasible teams, i.e making sure there arent too many of a single position per house, so this really screwed some of the sorting but oh well.

i did the houses first, then positions, then explanations in that order for the most part.

5/13/20: the sorting was mostly done before i heard all the differing opinions (of which there were many!)

5/19/20: alright so this is literally like 2 months old but i’ve just finished it lolol

Lewis Hamilton:

Slytherin: THE GLORY MAN. the aloof kind of superiority, confidence, is top dog, he’s simply the pinnacle of it all. kind of lethal and doesn’t do the whole ‘looking up to others’ things (outwardly, but he seems very soft on the inside tbh). very majestic and is almost a gryffindor, the kind of slytherin that Merlin is. hard-working, got here from incredibly humble beginnings, which kind of stands out from the rest, but he’s clearly now at the top level of society. still very protective of Others. scarily ambitious. Was originally a gryffindor but I wanted the brits to be in different houses for their quidditch positions to work. Could honestly go either way though.

Seeker: more glory. periodt. he stays winning and scoring the most points. clutch-man. Speedy boy, kind of in a different world than everyone else when competing (he’s always at the front lifetimes away from everyone else lmao. playing a diff game.)

Valtteri Bottas:

Hufflepuff: HE SEEMS. LIKE. A. BIG. CHILD. always relegated and brushed off but is literally God-Tier and no one can convince me otherwise. i consider him to be rather reliable (reflecting only the 2019 season at least lmao). a bit of a vindictive streak bc he knows what he’s Capable Of even when others underestimate him. has a very bright smile.

Beater: have u seen him. he’s a big boy even though he’s 5′8 and only an inch taller than lando norris he seems bigger than he is ok

Charles Leclerc:

Slytherin: this bitch. what a snake. hiss hiss.

Chaser: he wants what lewis hamilton has but chose the wrong position. still a star in his own right. pride and joy of his house, will be at the lead of every formation play unless told otherwise by his head of house, to which he will brood and complain ab but comply in the end bc he wants Team Success and loyalty to his Family. scores the most points on the team and people act like he carries even though he literally has a partner(s).

ok but fr my gut said charles is a slytherin (do i really need to explain why? very critical, doesn’t accept inferiority, somehow succeeds. just a feeling his brain seems to fit motorsport politics well), but i was seriously contemplating whether he’d be a gryffindor to max’s slytherin instead. but then i saw someone mention the whole lion schtick and i was like for all of max’s brattiness he is Gryffindor so sharl is snake. sorry don’t make the rules just follow them.

further edit: this was written before he started streaming (this is how old this draft is) and can u believe him he’s the epitome of the “not all slytherins r evil wenches” idea

Sebastian Vettel:

Ravenclaw: idk for all of Seb’s goofiness he just seems cerebral to me. Seems to know mildly irrelevant facts and is really quite smart however is hopeless in the modern age. Kind of that wise old(er he’s not that old) man knowledge. I’d trust him to give me all the life advice I need but also to write a 10 page essay on the nuances of the effect of emotion on verbal language (which we all know he is very experienced with).

Keeper: it’s the protective Dad Power.

Max Verstappen:

Gryffindor: WAS REALLY GONNA PUT HIM IN SLYTHERIN BC HE’S A NASTY LIL SHIT. TOTAL BRAT. GIVES FUCK ALL WHAT OTHERS SAY. BUT HE IS LION AND LION IS HE SO GRYFFINDOR IT IS. also just bc he needs to oppose sharl in every way possible it’s called Poetic Cinema. also his driving style is clearly the bravery and confidence to the point of recklessness that is prevalent among gryffindors.

Chaser: again, he must oppose Charles. so, not a seeker although he’s clearly singularly the most prized competitor. just like Charles, pride and joy of house, their star chaser. the comparisons never end. the competition never ends. the fighting never ends. one of the most interesting and dynamic performers to watch, is predictable in that he’s not predictable except that he will always be aggro to the max. will always be in trouble for getting rough bc that’s Not His Job but that’s just the gryffindor disregard for rules. master point scorer.

Alex Albon:

Gryffindor: was really a toss up btwn this and Hufflepuff but the ultimate deciding factor was the fact that I wanted all the British Boys to be seekers. he really just sticks it out as max’s teammate like a real one (nothing against max, everything against Helmet Merco) for the good of the team, still is sweet with max anyway. fitting that they’re in the same house too.

Seeker: he’s not the small boy that lando and lewis are but he is (thai/)British. very special boy (big ups on the promotion even tho it was Sad Times for Pear) deserves very special job. also he has a hot girlfriend (alex albon who i only know lily he’s boy toy) idk how that’s relevant but it seems fitting.

Carlos Sainz:

Ravenclaw: bc he’s a spaniard but is still better at english than Lando (i think everyone is tbh). Seems to be a quiet type of smart, sensible, but perhaps this is just the consequence of being compared to Lanno at all times LMAO (no hate all love bby Lannd). would be the type of ravenclaw to follow his friends on absolutely idiotic ventures but would step in to prevent near death or likely-legal-problem causing actions (and only then; otherwise it’s every man for themselves and everyone is free to make a fool of themselves and break some laws. carlos may dabble in such practices.)

Chaser: seems to be a go-getter, not going for points doesn’t even cross his mind. will always be the one driving up the pitch, the strategist of sorts bc he seems big(ger) brain (than lando lololol).

Edit: I wrote this part ab him long ago but this entire section of this post is now irrelevant and canceled.

Lando Norris:

Hufflepuff: you all know why. zero explanation needed. like, none.

also has a bit of an aggressive streak which tends to catch ppl off guard. is not afraid to confront u (hello pageNO) and at times defies the hufflepuff stereotype of being perpetually happy go-lucky (he has his bad days!). but when with His True Crew he is absolutely a hufflepuff ball of energy.

Seeker: small and speedy. energetic to the max. small. quirky and different from the rest, so he gets the special job. small. everyone would kill to protect him. small.

Daniel Ricciardo:

Gryffindor: AW I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE THAT I PUT HIM AND MAX TOGETHER. LOOK I EVEN MADE THEM BOTH CHASERS. AH HOW BIGBRAIN MY MIND IS. everything ab dan is gold. golden skin, the colors in redbull and renault, his smile, just the vibes. he’s just got the enthusiasm and charisma and this intensity of a gryffindor. super aggressive, his late breaking (from his rbr at least) is legendary and maddening with how he pulls it off. is almost a hufflepuff but the gut said no.

Chaser: is Max’s teammate. so yeah. was obviously the star until younger max came to the show. a bit lost in limbo bc of it but they still work well together.

literally want to make him a hufflepuff so. bad. but i couldn’t split up maxiel. also his vibe is just different from other ‘puffs like stroll so.

Esteban Ocon:

Slytherin: ask max.

Chaser: being characterized off of their relationship with max seems to be a theme here. will go head to head with max w/ absolutely zero shits given. talented, but the rivalry with max is entirely secondary to charles imho. still yet to show his full potential but is still quietly a thorn in max’s side. many are interested to see what he is able to do in the immediate future.

Pierre Gasly:

Hufflepuff: GUYS HE WANTS TO OWN A PANDA

Chaser: constantly trying to prove himself and score big boy points. had a stint as seeker until lando came along. did not do as well as ppl had hoped, returned to chaser and proceeded to crush it from there. praticed a lot with charles as children (the friendship dynamic w/ their houses was definitely unforseen but is amazing).

Daniil Kvyat:

Hufflepuff: really wanted to make him a slytherin but the quidditch positions didn’t work out. firmly believe this works though. more of the rough and tumble type, definitely the kind that will sock u in the nose if u write off hufflepuffs as a joke. could honestly probably be a gryffindor too with how unapologetically aggressive he can be in the name of His Beliefs. gives me big dumb himbo vibes now that i think ab it tbh which is mostly the justification here. also he has a child omg.

Chaser: but the one that’s always headbutting bludgers out of the air (torpedo bitches). also had a stint as seeker before but it Was Not His Thing. he’d much rather be chasing and throwing things than seeking things. also he’s pierre’s mate :,) would’ve been a beater but romain and valtteri will not be anything else so daniil took the boot whoops.

Sergio Perez:

Slytherin: it’s just the vibe. knows his weaknesses and is able to make up for it with his confidence and talent in his strengths. very ambitious, plays the right cards at the right times to get the right results. something ab him puts me on edge, but like in a good way; i feel like there’s always a trump card up his sleeve, like when he gets to q3 out of fucking nowhere in a racing point.

Keeper: he gives me the same vibes as seb idk what it is. very dependable, backbone of his team.

Lance Stroll:

Hufflepuff: guys have u seen the guy. he’s just here to have a good time. may seem a bit airheaded at times but he means well 99% of the time. untapped potential. seems like a no thoughts head empty canadian hockey boy (and every one of these types is a hufflepuff don’t fight it); may or may not be the only accurate description of him.

Chaser: he’s just trying his best out here. i

KEEPER?: SO I DID A QUICK GOOGLE AND HE USED TO BE A HOCKEY

GOALIE?????

so scratch my initial thoughts (tbh i didn’t really know where to put him and i originally had romain as keeper but that’s an issue to fix later on now) BECAUSE LANCE STROLL IS A keeper GOALIE AND NO ONE CAN REFUTE THIS. ABSOLUTELY NO HUMAN OF THIS EARTH. WHAT GLORIOUS INFORMATION TO STUMBLE ACROSS.

Kimi Raikkonen:

Slytherin: guys i really don’t have an in depth analysis of this but i don’t think iceman needs one.

Beater: see above^. y’all must get the vibe.

tbh could also be a keeper tho similar energies to seb and checo, but honestly his no fucks given attitude is ultimately what swayed me

Antonio Giovinazzi:

Gryffindor: he just has that majestic quality (that could also fit a slytherin but i only see red when i see antonio). look at that lion’s mane. also he’s one of kimi’s to paddock friends? seems fitting that he’s a gryffindor to kimi’s slytherin.

Chaser: plays second fiddle to the duo that is max and daniel, often regulated to vibing on the side. but he’s there and he’s important and he has potential (i’ve been seeing ppl talking ab a ferrari move and i’m positively shaken). [edit: again, this post is old.]

im sorry its glaringly obvious idk much about him asdfjasldkd

Kevin Magnussen:

Slytherin: guys lots of these are just self explanatory sorry if i seem like im taking the cheap way out but it’s fact. brundle and crofty call him a great white shark for crying out loud.

Beater: unapologetically chaotic. lurking around the edges making people feel hunted. spends more time playing baseball in the middle of the matches than quidditch and sometimes it backfires but it’s good fun and it sometimes works.

Romain Grosjean:

Hufflepuff: y’all he’s such dad energy and he likes to cook. gets written off a lot but he actually cares (he’s a part of the grand prix drivers assoc.!). he seems so wholesome and he spends time with his kids and their school work when he can do u feel those water drops yeah those r my tears.

Beater: i really wanted to make him a slytherin beater to make him teammates with k-mag but he’s just. not a slytherin. but i kept the beater part. spends the majority of the hufflepuff v. slytherin matches sending bludgers kevin’s way even when he doesn’t mean to. it’s always reciprocated.

George Russell:

Ravenclaw: I’VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I’LL SAY IT AGAIN THIS KID. is so marvelously well spoken and he just has such a simple yet effective way with words. he knows what’s reasonable to expect but never fails to expect the most that he can given his circumstances. again, mentioned this before but a lot of it is his accent. the glottal stop is a historically stereotypically rural (i.e. “uneducated”) thing but I’m American and I Don’t Listen to the Rules, so the accent just makes him seem so sophisticated to me especially when he’s saying things like “horriiiiiiiific” and presenting his hefty powerpoints.

Seeker: my British Boys Are Seekers headcanon continues. definitely a Golden Boy of the team kind of guy (hello tragic dumpsterfire that is williams :/ ).

Nicholas Latifi:

Hufflepuff: same boat as lance. his twitch streams are so wholesome he’s just chilling man. twitter made me write him off as daft and unnecessary at first but like fuck twitter i’m all here for ninky latvia now.

Chaser: lowkey gives me keeper vibes as well? the sensible, level-headedness. but obvs that’s lance so chaser it is. still the level-headedness that helps him hold down the fort btwn pierre and daniil who can tend to get a bit imaginative, and also the energies of them + lando.

5/19/20: so it’s quite clear to me that i grew tired of brain functions the more time i took on this and the later ones are a bit lacking and for that i’m very sorry. that being said i’m still happy to see this finished bc the idea was VERY exciting for me.

[lady-plantagenet]

What hasn’t already been said: The Spanish Princess 2

Episode 2: SOdden (or Sod ‘Em depending on your persuasion)

(Dont know how long I’ll be able to keep these puns up)

Catherine, like this woman, does not really fit into this era. But while this woman seems dropdead cool and at least looks the part, Catherine just...

To all those of you keen enough to have come back for another segment of ‘what hasn’t already been said: TSP’, as opposed to have just been scrolling when you see this - welcome back! (Scrollers you too <3)

To anyone who’s seeing this for the first time: what this is a list of observations, jokes, reactions and criticism which occur to me upon a rewatch. I wait every week until Saturday to do this so that I have had my fill of scrolling through the tag and aggregating what has already been said. I tried doing a whole spoof (here where I gave up 10% in) but tbh a) I don’t know the history well enough b) it’s more time consuming than I thought and c) this series is just not as funny or as crazy as TWQ, so it’s untenable. Having said that: This is not a hatepost. I’m not hatewatching this series and nitpicking on purpose but expressing my honest views and trying to find the good in it as well as the bad.

Without further ado...

First Scenes:

The baby cloth lifting into the ceiling of the chapel had nice ‘myth of the demon countess of Anjou (ancestress of the Plantagenets)’ vibes. I am 100% that was unintentional. I get this impression by the cringiness of the baby’s screams (what’s up with those sound effects? It sounded like a zipper).

Henry gives me such softboi vibes? It’s pleasing to me because it’s making me attracted to him as a viewer, but no good in convincing me this is Henry VIII.

I think Catherine’s exposition about how she feels is pretty ok actually, it’s fitting that she would feel anger.

CHARLES’ FATHER IS NOT MAXIMILIAN, IT’S PHILIP (or rather it was). ~~ A quick wiki search guyz, a quick wiki search. Ughh

Again with the whole everyone acting like Catherine is Queen. Can they cut it out? Also while we’re at it, what was Catherine’s attendance in councils even like?

The music was nice

Post Child announcement phase:

Oof I hate to say it but I lowkey wanted de la Pole back in this mother. Mainly because it would mean more Margaret Pole and by this point I am scared her storyline will fade in prominence now that there’s no longer a Yorkist subplot (showhorned as it was, it was the crowning glory of last season tied with Arthur x Catherine).

More x Maggie Pole and all of it over Seneca and learning :’). I already know this will be the best part of the episode.

‘We certainly know stoicism in our family’ ~ I guess she’s referring to Reggie? Because our boi Clarence was no poster boy for stoicism. Though could she be making an ironic reference to her father~?

Edmund de la Pole Debacle:

Well this convo at least passed the bechdel test.

Maggie and Edmund’s interactions here are touching. I know this plotline was rushed but I think it was just right to bring us back here for 5 min as a mournful throwback to the bygone era to which Maggie Pope belongs to and now continues to do so alone. It is emotionless and you can just feel how the York cause was hanging on by a tired old threat by that point.

Maggie Pole is becoming matronly now and I like this transition.

What bothers me about a lot of fans of Margaret Pole is that what they don’t realise is that she wasn’t all like ‘I want nothing to do with my family I’ll stay low and obscure’. While far more cautious than the likes of her ancestors, she did engage in land disputes with Henry VIII and was an outspoken supporter of Catherine and Catholic. Having her be a woman woth dubious loyalties towards the Tudors is accurate.

Scotland with Meg and Jammes:

LMFAO it’s like they read my mind when I spoke of how much I laughed when Meg was like ‘Alexander Steward you pig!1!!’ last episode.

Nice reference to Aulde Alliance

I like James.

Henry and Catherine on the balcony:

Was she commander of the forces? Was Howard appointed that? Regent she was, ok.

Charlotte Hope’s new hairstyles really suit her!

‘Will you please stop cursing’ agahsjdk ahah

No offence to women (of which I am one) but this comparison between childbirth and war is just... wrong. I know Starz think they are being smart but childbirth is far less impressive than winning or surviving a battle - comparing the two diminishes the bravery of soldiers. YET ,having said that, childbirth is necessary for our society whereas war is almost always futile and by comparing them, it wrongly represents violence as something inherently as natural to us as birth and continuing of civilisation. overall not a smart, respectful or accurate parrallel to make.

Meg and prep for invasion + Catherine in her weird armour:

So Margaret dreams that her husband is dead and bloody in her bed. Ughh show you neeed to get more creative. But I did like the whole ‘dreams are how our ancestors talk to us’ line from Angus Douglas.

Re: Meg in her beret... Why is Meg dressed like me going to the London shops in October? Digging the aesthetic but not sure about the accuracy.

Rich of Catherine to bring up Edmund.

Why is Ursula Pole crying??? What is all this to her really?

Did Howard just call the guard... sonny?? Is this some WW2 crossover?

Catherine - James and the tent parlay:

Did Catherine just insult Meg’s intelligence??

Also lmao I’m going to miss James.

Re: Howard saying ‘I’m not going to get insulted by a man wearing a dress’ .. UMMM Starz, you do know that just thirty years ago men were prancing about in dresses and leggings (essentially). From around the middle of the 14th century to the beggining of 16th century (if not earlier), Englishmen were also essentially prancing about in ‘skirts’.

Am I getting a weird cooperation-partnership vibe between Meg and James?

The Battle:

Charlotte Hope looks so good with the helmet, she’d really suit an english hood! Such a shame they won’t give her one!

Ewwww he’s eating mud, why?

Just standard battle scene. They are all the same to me no matter which movie.

Aftermath:

Jesus, I find the whole Meg crying over James IV so heartfelt ‘you arrogant bastard’ for some reason just came out so full of emotion. Can someone please explain why the hell I ship them more than Henry x Catherine?? Like how ??

Awwww Linna is sooooo adorable ughhh. Also this whole Catherine going into armour among all the women crooning over the children gives this adorable sense of Catherine boyish and bloodying herself out to protect their peace, idk. All I have to say is that these series is less eager to pitt women against each other than the previous. I think that’s a step forwards.

Also, good to see Catherine being modest about her victory so Henry can save face. Finally starting to seem like the real Catherine.

‘Go on you dog’ arghh ahah he sounds like some public school rugby lad egging his mate on.

Re: Wolsey cock-blocker; the real Catherine would know it was uncatholic to have sex when you were pregnant. Also Catherine is not technically speaking in confinement if she’s wandering about.

It’s nice to see Catherine sticking up for Howard, she at least learned to respect him during the battle.

I foresee Oviedo having enough of this Christian stuff and wanting to return to the berber domains (I suppose Spain is out of the question)

Knighting Ceremony:

Apparently Margaret Pole herself was made Countess of Salisbury during this same ceremony... right? @houseofclarence

Also Maggie Pole being like: “being a rebel is in my blood, or so they tell me”... gahhh what’s with these shows and the Clarence erasure? Can’t they make one bloody reference to her dad or grandad Warwick? Ugh. Especially with lines like this. Actually? You know what? Ignore my previous comment about the stoic remark and it being an ironic reference to Clarence. I put such subtlety above this show’s writers.

Catherine has a habit of going to the coldest places possible to lose her children...

Haha @ Henry asking Bessie Blount (of all people) where Catherine is.

Conclusion:

6/10

What I’m happiest about is that Flodden got dealt with in one episode because warrior xena Catherine is not what interests me most about this show. Having said that, it was a true shame that James IV died because his were some of the best scenes. This whole show is starting to feel so historical fantasy-ish because the aesthetics are so confused. Granted it’s still pretty (not eyesore like Reign) but it doesn’t penetrate.

I am as always invested in the Poles (and More) but am also starting to get attached to Princess Mary whose actress exudes plenty of charm. This show remains confused with its feminist message because while it shows women being proactive there is so much emphasis on babies that what remains with the mind after watching is this womanish birthdrama, as opposed to a show about struggles which affect both genders.

You might tut at me and say I’m being ridiculous and that it is historically accurate to put so much emphasis on women’s babies and I say that’s swell. I would happily watch a show where that element is strong (most pre 1995 historical dramas are like that with traditionally feminine characters and I gulp them up like sustenance), but if a show promises feminism and women-men being partners I want it to deliver that properly. As I said in my previous post, why do we keep trying to make women engage in acts like war as if such an abhorrent act is the only way to take them seriously? I await the day where cunning, rationality and cool-headedness will be the traits portrayed as feminist ones.

There is nothing else to really comment on... the only potentially deeper message in this is the gender discourse. I am unsure about the accuracy so I can’t speak of the historical value of the interpretation. But what I will say is that though I remain excited for each new episode... I’m just not as invested as I was in TWQ (rewatch every year dont @ me) or TWP despite their many flaws. Some characters pull me in eg Maggie Pole (Carmichael is a bae), Thomas More etc but not the whole cast like TWQ. Anyway... would be interesting to see if anything happens with Lina and Oviedo tommorow as their storyline is conspicuously slow.

[thedappleddragon]

hooooo my fucking god I don't know why but recently my anxiety/sence of dread has SKYROCKETED in the last 3 days, I haven't been sleeping great and last night I had an anxiety dream about manning the register at work. idk I guess today was fine but im so fucking overstimulated I guess?? I seriously just dont fuking know. but anyway here’s a summary of some days that I may or may not remember. putting it under the cut

Wednesday I was exited to work, they didn’t need me, I hung out with my friends at their outdoor band concert and had boba and it got super cold out

Thursday I went with my dad to drop off a car, then we had breakfast together at a little restaurant I had never been to before. He told me about his childhood n stuff. Then I went to work and priced things outside and felt good about helping some people buy plants even tho I didn’t know exactly what I was doing and ended up handing them off to Becky anyway. Got off work, came home, hung out waiting to be able to go visit my friend but she took a while so dad and I made the snack he had a lot as a kid which was just handmade chocolate frosting on graham crackers. Eventually my friend got home so I grabbed one of those graham crackers in some Tupperware and some other stuff and headed out. It was a longer drive than I was expecting but eh whatever, I got there no problem with a bunch of dad’s shit in the back of the car. We had awkward hellos in her apartment and I pet her fat ass cat until she suggested we go thrifting and oh my god I had never wanted to go thrifting more in my life than right then. I had one of those moments where I realized oh I’m an adult who can go out and just DO things :D so we walked around and gossiped in goodwil and had a great time until they closed, whereupon steph frantically looked for anything that was open near us while I drove around. We settled on going to a little park nearby, where we climbed on the tube with holes on it and swung on the swings. Then we walked around a dense tree/brush like and into the middle of a field, having our main character moments as we walked to the top of a hill with a cross on it. I took a picture of the sunset and a selfie with both of us before we walked back through the field and drove back to her apartment. I gave her 2 tiny flower jars and she let me borrow her container of earring hardware and a bunch of different tiny things to make into earrings. I had a great time and I’d love to hang out again, maybe when everything isn’t closed lmao. We joked a lot about understanding why people do drugs lmao since there’s nothing else to do! everything’s closed!! Also some joke flirting mixed in for flavor. We have an excuse to hang out again so I can return her earring supplies and she can return my Tupperware lol. I thought my phone was going to die on the way home before I realized there was a charging cord in the car! Nice. Got home, watched my friend stream plasmaphobia for a bit while I finished a birthday gift, and hung out and slept when she quit streaming. 

Friend’s birthday party day!! Also dad moving day!! The first task of the day was to drive with my dad down to the nearest uhaul to pick up a big ol’ truck, and follow him home in the car while he lead the way in the truck. Then we brought his car full of shit to the apartment, got his key and paid his first month, and looked through everything to do inspection. Tbh it’s a pretty nice apartment, I’d love to spend some time there once it’s a bit more furnished. My favorite part is a Harry Potter style hidey hole closet that’s meant for storage, but it’s the perfect size for a secluded hangout spot for me. I’ll totally let him use it for storage if he wants, I just like sitting in there. I joked that I would let Emily hang out in the spare bedroom and I could get the tiny room. But we spent time cleaning and looking around and bringing in boxes before dad sent me to pick up lunch, my sister, and another car load of boxes. I left to do all 3 and came back with Mcallisters, and we all sat on the floor and ate together. A very nice way to break in a new apartment. We brought in boxes and dad sent us on a quest to pick up a car part and drop it off where the car we dropped off the day before. We got there just fine, but getting to the second location was a nightmare because of all my wrong turns and u turns and no left turns, it was awful. I mean we got there eventually but still. By then it was time for me to get home so I could wash my hair and get ready for the party!! I got everything ready, but my sister wouldn’t be home with the car on time, so I just took my mom’s van. I was on time for once!! But in exchange I didn’t realize I had forgotten Cassidy’s gift until I was like 3 minutes away. But also I found driving my moms van very easy compared to last time I tried to drive it, and I think I’m a much more confident driver now :) but I was one of the first to arrive, accidentally twinned with cass, waited for everyone to show up, met her new dog, and then we all packed up the picnic basket and walked to the top of a hill to have our little sandwiches and play cards against humanity. On the walk there we passed by a park where little kids were asking why we were all dressed up if it wasn’t Halloween, so I shouted at them that it was her birthday and handed them the branch I was carrying. We played CAH on the hill and ate little sandwiches and meatballs and drank sparkling juice and had a lovely time, and when we were done, we walked back to her house where there was pizza and we all changed out of our formal wear. My bra was sewed into my dress with 6 stitches, so I grabbed some scissors and flashed my friend’s cat as I cut my bra free of the dress because I forgot to bring an extra. I changed into my ghostbusters shirt and snake onesie and joined everyone outside for pizza and lots and lots of stories and ice cream cake and gossip and quiplash and balloons and gifts and CAH and friends leaving and new friends arriving and more quiplash and then the grass getting cold and wet and going ham on keeping the balloons up and then playing that’s what she said (basically CAH but ✨for women ✨) and by this time there was a dude I didn’t know but he was very nice and cute and already taken. Tbh I didn’t know half the people there, there was a group of 4 cool alt people I had never met and then the 4 band kids I already knew but everyone else seemed to know each other and they all had great energy so I yelled a lot and joked a ton and had an amazing time. As the crowd dwindled and the night got cooler, I helped put things away before I left so I could be a nice guest, said my goodbyes, gathered my things, and drove home past midnight. Ask walked around the house turning off lights like my mom asked, I realized that my dad wouldn’t be sleeping here anymore, and I felt bad that he had to spend the night all alone in his new apartment :( and this is going to be a huge financial burden that idk if he can afford, rent for the apartment is almost as much as my mom pays for the house. Jejdjgjt this is all a mess and I would like to go back to ignoring it all <3 Listened to a lot of two trucks by lemon demon lmao

Hoo boy howdy I did a lot of shit today. Basically as soon as I woke up I got a text from dad about us helping him move with a promise of donut holes and a fruit platter. I walked out to the garage to find our family friends the drakes helping to move boxes, so we all spent several hours loading boxes into our cars and driving back and forth from the house to the apartment, with emily and I avoiding the drakes as much as possible lmao. When we had moved as much as we could in the car, we started loading up the uhaul, shoving as much shit in there as possible so we only had to do one trip there and back. Partially through unloading the truck the drakes stopped cleaning things before we brought them in left and some randos from dad’s work came to help unload and somewhere in the middle of all this our aunt and uncle and her service dog came to visit?? Bruh idk so much stuff happened. Emily asked me to take her home so she could work on school stuff and we put things back into the garage and I went back to the apartment to help with stuff and hang out with my aunt while my dad and uncle returned the truck. We made a list of stuff I might need for college and I wrote it down on a notepad and most of the page space was taken up by ponies tbh. The men brought back burger king and eventually my aunt and uncle left. I helped my dad clean up and set up his wifi and we watched mama Mia. It was my first time seeing the film, and it was really dang fun. Then I made dad drive me ho e since emily was still gone with the silver car. I’ll spend he night over there eventually, but not yet. I’m exited to eventually invite friends over since I’ve never been able to do that before. So now I’m home trying g to go to sleep so I can work tomorrow. I keep thinking about smoking weed and making out with someone in the hidey hole in dad’s apartment............ even tho I have literally no one to do that with afsagssg I’m a CHILD. 

Had dreams last night about being stuck on the infinity train again, except there was a mechanic of switching the world between 2d and 3d and the cast of Bluey had to help bingo go through stages of grief / character moments to help her get off the train or something. I was tossing and turning for a few hours anxiously waking up thinking I was gonna be late and going back to bed so I could sleep/dream more. But then I finally got up, fed my cat, fed myself, helped clean the kitchen a little bit, got ready for work, arrived 15 minutes late on accident, worked register for 6 hours, got more comfortable with register and learned how to do stuff, lots of friendly people, lots of me struggling and my bones hurting, dad brought me food but I couldn’t get to my lunch break until everything was room temperature. The chicken sandwich reheated well but the fries did not. After work dad and I stopped by the house, I got an info card to fill out so I can be called in for jury duty eventually, dad handed me $50 for dinner for us and my sister, we laid on the floor and looked at the noodles and company menu, drove there, picked up our food, had a lovely dinner at dad’s apartment, laid around while he talked to Greg on the phone, went to target to pick up small apartment things like a clock and a trash can and some small groceries but it made me nervous because I hate spending money and watching my dad spend money he may or may not have, and by then we were tired as shit and after dropping his stuff off emily and I drove home and I tried teaching her how to crochet for a school project. Now I’m hanging out wanting to go to bed and thinking about how everybody else my age working at ACE is doing like 60 hours a week with 2 jobs and saving for college and I’m just sitting here with probably 14 hours a week and fuck. I don’t want to spiral into shit, I just want to keep busy as much as possible. Maybe I’ll ask for as many work hours as possible, maybe I’ll ask my friends to hang out, idk. Right now I jut want to be busy so I don’t have to think about anything. I’ll spend as much time as possible helping my dad set up his apartment, I don’t care.

WAAAAA TODAY AT WORK WAS SO STRESSFUL, I LEFT FELLNG SO FRAZZLED IT SUCKED. basically I worked register for 4 hours but they’re all trying to ween me off asking for help to get me more comfortable, and we were surprisingly busy, and my garden boss becky asked me to do 2 extra things and my boss boss kept asking about paperwork that I couldn't fill out because I needed my sister to text me something, and an old man got mad at me over the phone because no-one was out there to fill his propane tank and I had a lady waiting for 10 minutes for someone to help load salt into her car and a middle aged man tried to use sarcasm at me while I was in friendly cashier mode aND IM SORRY I HAVE ADHD I DONT GET IT PLEASE S T O P and I tried answering the phone more and I didnt get the things done that becky asked and I left shit there because I just wanteD OUT. afterwards I went to target to get something, idk im writing this afterwards so I not really remember 

and today, my day off. ugh god I dont remember what I did, I know I picked up a vent for my mom’s bathroom and I just went to go get Taco Bell with my sister and bought her some more about crocheting and she’s making progress :) tomorrow is my friend’s birthday and last year I made her a felt doll of her fursona, so today I started making a crochet doll for her. so far I have the body and libs, but I still need to make the muzzle, tail, ears, attach everything, and hand-sew on all the markings and glue on button eyes. or maybe felt eyes, idk. my stomach hurts and I got upset because I told my mom my cat may be sick because her pee looked suspicious so I crocheted and watched my little pony and now I have a headache and im just trying to listen to music but really I just want to watch 50 arms videos at once but it wasn't loading right and idk man I dont know what’s happening, I may be going into work tomorrow. I think now that I have a job to do 3-4 times a week, I dont feel like I can just chill and wing it anymore, it’s like I have plans forever now. and oh god I still have to sig up for college orientation night or whatever, but my mind hasn'tt been on college for like a month or longer. I think im just going to take some Advil and try to relax with my cat and my music. holy shit dude. I know none’s gonna read this but just. fuck. also I should really post these more frequently rather than let them pile up in my texts. thinking about going back and adding all the dates like I did with my early quarantine diary, but that feels like a lot of work

[iamnotawomanimagod]

Dare Me: Comparing the Book to the TV Show

Like many, I was super sad to hear that Dare Me, starring Herizen Guardiola and Willa Fitzgerald, was canceled before its’ second season. I loved it for its dark representation of female friendship and early sapphic attraction, so I was sad to lose that - but the show also ends on a cliffhanger!

I decided to read the book to find out what happens. Ultimately, I think the TV show is much better, and I don’t know if they would’ve chosen the same ending as the book.

The following breakdown contains spoilers Dare Me, both the book and the tv show. Proceed with caution!

Characters

In the show, Beth and Coach French look nothing alike. Beth has long, dark, curly hair, and Coach has short, blonde hair.

In the book, they share similar features. Both of them have the same hair - I think it’s long and dark, but I can’t remember off the top of my head. It might be long and blonde, instead. Point being, in a grainy camera phone picture (the book is set in like, 2009, when camera phones still sucked) they might be mistaken for one another.

In the show, one of the biggest sources of drama comes from the relationship between Beth and her estranged father. This is due in large part to the fact that her father had an affair and another child, Tacy, and chose the live across the street from his ex-wife and other daughter.

In the book, Tacy is just another girl on the squad. She is a flier, and does compete with Beth for the Top Girl spot, but she’s otherwise not really part of the story.

In the show, Coach’s daughter, Caitlin, is a baby, still. Probably no more than two years old.

In the book, Caitlin is four years old.

In the show, Addy’s mom is a police officer, and is greatly involved in both Addy’s life and in the eventual investigation of Will’s death.

In the book, Addy’s parents are barely mentioned.

In the show, Beth’s mom is an addict, who continues her affair with Beth’s dad. Beth’s dad makes a marked (albeit flawed) effort to be in her life.

In the book, Beth’s parents are basically non-existent. As a result, the necklace Beth’s dad gave her, which is a big part of her characterization in the show, is also non-existent.

In the book, Addy is the one who kicks the girl in the stomach, to help her throw up, not Beth.

In the show, the signs of eating disorders are there, but they’re less obvious. There is a scene where Beth and Addy are eating cookies, and it shows them spitting them out after they chew, but they don’t mention it or talk about it. Beth talks about being hungry in the books a lot, about living off lollipops and detox green tea, about how common it is for all of them to have eating disorders.

In the book, there are more characters. In the show, it appears that many of the characters were streamlined into one - RiRi. The girl who gets injured in the books never returns to the squad. She’s instead an example of the “in-group” of the squad and how easy it is for them to ostracize people.

The biggest change, however, is in the characterization of Beth.

In the show, Beth is much more sympathetic.

In the show, it’s made abundantly clear that Beth was raped by Kurtz. (I think he has a different name in the books.) We see her injuries, her trauma, and her own confrontation with Kurtz. She trades his freedom for information, citing the selfie she took of her torn tongue and the fact that she has other proof. She decides not to press charges if Kurtz will tell her what he heard on the night that Will dies. (This does not happen in the books. The random kid Addy makes out with in the first episode is the one who places Coach and Matt at the scene of the crime.)

In the book, it’s implied that Beth pushed Kurtz to be rougher with her, so that she could gain sympathy from Addy. She hides her underwear in her purse, never confronts Kurtz, and doesn’t have the same level of injury.

In the show, we spend time with Beth in her house, see her when she’s alone, and come to recognize that, whether intentionally or not, Addy is playing with Beth’s feelings for her. Addy comes across as the manipulative Mean Girl, shifting the audience’s perspective on them as the show goes on.

In the book, the reveal of Addy and Beth’s romantic attraction comes much later, towards the very end. It’s revealed that they did more than kiss, probably fooled around a bit. Beth’s jealousy of Addy’s growing attraction to Coach is what makes Beth...well, do what she does.

In the book, there is no storyline around Coach being the new hero of the town, the one who’s going to revive the economy with her excellent cheer squad. The book follows only Addy’s perspective, so a lot of the explanatory scenes we get in the show, that don’t have her in them, aren’t in the book. 

FINAL SPOILER WARNING. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

Here’s how the story ends. I do not know if this is what they were planning for the show, since Beth was a much more sympathetic character.

Literally everything comes down to Beth. Everything is her fault.

Beth seduces Will. She takes a picture of their encounter on her grainy 2000s camera phone. She gets Tacy to send this picture to Matt. Because the picture is grainy, and because Coach and Beth look so much alike, Matt assume it’s a picture of Coach fucking Will. 

Matt then goes and confronts Will, while Coach is at Will’s apartment, and Matt shoots him with Will’s own gun.

Beth further fucks the situation up by lying to Addy about the hamsa bracelet. She convinces Addy (in the show and in the books) that the cops found the hamsa bracelet at the scene of the crime. 

The last we see in the show, Addy is outside of Coach’s house, angry and in tears, asking about the bracelet, and getting no response. We then see Coach confronting Matt about it, and “the night we were there.”

It turns out, however, that the bracelet wasn’t at the crime scene at all - it was in Beth’s locker. She finds the bracelet at Coach’s house, the night after the hotel party, and she steals it back. As in the show, the bracelet was something Beth gave to Addy.

When Addy finds the bracelet in Beth’s locker, she is understandably pissed. She confronts Beth in the locker room, and Beth is her usual sassy, obfuscating self. They go to do the competition. This is probably what the “she’s not you” scene was based on, although it happens much earlier in the show.

At this point, Beth is Top Girl again, through a series of accidents on the mat. There’s a very difficult flyer move that they’ve been working on, throughout the book. It involves the Top Girl being lifted 16 feet into the air by her squad, held up a bit like a Jesus figure.

During a huge competition, the one with the scout, in the book, they do this stunt. Addy is one of Beth’s spotters. Beth intentionally twists and falls, so that she lands on her head on the mat. She ends up in the hospital.

The book ends with August tryouts, for the next year. Coach is gone, having been accused of taking part in Will’s murder. Addy is more of a top dog than she’s ever been, because Beth does not return. The book ends with the concept that this toxic, manipulative, abusive cycle, which is all laid on Beth instead of Coach, will continue to spiral on, no matter who is on the squad.

My Take

Tbh, I enjoyed the show a lot more. While I appreciate being able to find out what happened next, I really don’t know if the show would’ve taken the same route. There were a lot of plotlines that were brought in specifically for the show - Tacy and Beth being half-sisters, Addy’s mom being a cop, Beth’s dad living across the street with Tacy, etc. And because of the way Beth was made more sympathetic in the show, I wonder if they would’ve chosen the same ending.

I think that, rather than putting it all on Beth, the show was angling to place the blame on Coach. She was much less sympathetic on the show. In the book, she doesn’t use Addy as a babysitter to see Will. Addy is much less involved in their affair in general, although she is aware of it - that day by the river in the woods does still happen. She’s depicted much more as a Cool Adult who is Far Above all the shit going on in the squad, and that her reliance on Addy only comes out when she’s her most scared, vulnerable, and manic. It makes the line where she tells Addy that Addy is her best friend much more jarring and strange. You realize how lonely Coach is.

Coach also most obviously stands as an example of where characters like Beth and Addy might end up, in ten or so years. Her “perfect life” is under a lot of scrutiny, in both the book and the show, to underline how these cheer girls have big dreams, but will probably end up married, with a kid, living in a house they hate with a partner they don’t care for. It’s to contrast the bombastic, glittery, haughty writing style of the book, of Addy’s narration of it, to show that these are mostly just teenage girls with a whole lot of issues. As beautiful and bright and bold and invincible as they feel, the only thing really waiting for them on the other side is an adulthood with a lot less glory.

I liked the show a lot more. I think it did a better job of showing all of the different characters as well-rounded people, not just stereotypes. Fleshing out Beth’s backstory makes her a lot more sympathetic, and I hate that the book uses a false rape allegation to make Beth a bad person. Coach is the adult in all of this, which I think the show recognized, and sought to correct.

TL;DR - Dare Me made a better show than a book, and it’s a damn shame it got cancelled so soon, because it was better wlw representation, more fleshed out as a story, and less problematic in its stances about the issues teenage girls face.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [obviously it's actually ages later so she clearly isn't coming back but it's also enough time that we can pretend we're fine and joke about it and that she might not reply until even later cos christmas so we feel safe to just be like nbd lol] Jimmy: *g2g Jimmy: or piss off would've worked an' all Jimmy: far as a christmas classic goes Janis: yeah, they was up Janis: you know how it goes from there Janis: didn't reckon comparing notes was gonna be any more thrilling than living it, yeah? Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [a picture of Bobby timestamped to show how early he actually was up like yep] Janis: Ouch Janis: how buzzing was he then Janis: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 scale Jimmy: off it Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Where was his best mate on the scale? Janis: pretty solid and manic 😆 Janis: bit of a wobble when she had to eat her lunch and stop playing with all the shit she got Janis: but what's 😂 without some 😭 Jimmy: #same obvs Jimmy: might just be Ian's cooking making me 😭 though Janis: I'll let her know Janis: feel well reassured and #seen Janis: Sharon didn't show? Jimmy: I know, mate we're all 💔 by her empty chair Jimmy: my mum neither, funnily enough Jimmy: pisstaking lack of miracles about Janis: We did see Jesus and Santa out on it so Janis: lads aren't on top form Jimmy: if he hadn't drank the 🥛 she might've appeared, needing a bit for her ☕ Jimmy: SUCH a selfish dickhead Janis: spin the trope on it's head Janis: clever Janis: could've been picking up more 🚬 too Jimmy: she left them behind, as NYE resolutions go 🚭 is a bit cliche but Jimmy: you crack on, Debbie Janis: far as parting gifts go Janis: so so at best Jimmy: Dunno I were chuffed with it Janis: of course, birth of 😎 boy Jimmy: weren't like I could follow in her footsteps out the door Jimmy: piss poor #originstory that Jimmy: have to fake it Janis: #relatable Jimmy: Duh Jimmy: when ain't we on the same page? Janis: have to 🤞 they'd never put this shit to paper Janis: poorly written fanfic and a netflix original that tanks, fine Jimmy: what could be more #goals? Jimmy: ✔✔ Janis: nothing, obviously Jimmy: 🖋🩸 it is then Janis: can sell my soul no problem Janis: good luck cashing that one in boys Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: any organs going Jimmy: won't be doing receipts, goes without saying Janis: careful how you word that one Janis: get a bit #metoo Jimmy: open to a bit of castration, since you asked Janis: Christmas does remind you of why not to have kids, right Jimmy: if nowt else Jimmy: can't all be Libis 💔 Janis: if you wanna chat to her form an orderly queue behind your brother, like Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: 2nd choice AGAIN Janis: who else put you 🥈? Jimmy: who HASN'T, babes 😭😭😭 Janis: oh, always the bridesmaid Janis: very you Jimmy: bit weird in this context, don't reckon we can marry off kids or spread about that I wanna wife up Libi so I were avoiding it but Janis: if the baby pink/lilac dress fits darling Jimmy: baby pink like my 😳 OBVS Jimmy: can't have a clash Janis: bad enough you're the oldest and fattest, christ Jimmy: way to drag me by my unflattering weave, hun Janis: Hate for you to make a show of yourself Janis: say these things for your own good 😘 Jimmy: tah Jimmy: I get waiting til your nan is more pissed but don't forget to secure my child bride for tomorrow 😘 Janis: They said yes already Janis: leaving out your intentions, obviously Janis: not that keen to get rid of her Jimmy: we're all chuffed she ain't gotta go in the boot Janis: radio and sweets should suffice in shutting her up Janis: for a bit, anyway Janis: no miracles occurring here either Jimmy: again #same Jimmy: so much in common, me and her Janis: sorry but no one is gonna ship this one Jimmy: PROPERLY starcrossed, what a dream Jimmy: off you fuck, tah Janis: rude Janis: and you won't be able to kidnap her without my help so at least keep me on side 'til then, moron Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: know where she lives and how to shut her up so Janis: yeah, but you don't know how to call off her KILLER dog Janis: checkmate, asswipe Jimmy: I'll have a google, be alright Janis: get your face ripped off, please Janis: get rid of the need for any of this Jimmy: SO romantic, you Jimmy: I'll miss you Jimmy: but bit rude if you ain't allowed to get married without a face Jimmy: bet the tories sorted that Janis: like fuck Janis: your outside'll just reflect the monster within Janis: easier to 🔎 even for the idiots about this way Janis: she'll get saved in no time and you'll get to be behind bars like you wanna ⛓💘 Jimmy: LITERALLY can't deal with these compliments rn tbh Jimmy: or that happy ending Janis: 💦 comes but once a year Jimmy: get your 🧠💭💕 off 🎅 it's OVER, Jodie Jimmy: he's already forgotten you Janis: he's literally all I've got Janis: fuck you Jimmy: delete your 📞 history and move on Jimmy: you've got the 🎁🎁 lads are good for nowt else Janis: I believe, thanks Janis: unlike you you bitter cow Jimmy: UGH, get a grip, babes Janis: 🤢 this is far too much like talking to actual Gracie Jimmy: won't insist on a 🏆 Jimmy: nowt challenging about doing a decent impression of any of 'em Janis: bit rude you've faked being impressed before now then Jimmy: for me, I'm a well better actor than you, girl Janis: if you reckon that then my job here is done Janis: all the 🏆🏆 for me Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: yeah, that kinda day Jimmy: you gonna turn this one around for me an' all? Janis: is that what you want? Jimmy: isn't that what you want? Janis: if you're saying I reckon I always can, like a saviour complex, then nah Janis: but if you're just asking if I still want to see you, then, yeah Jimmy: if either of us would have a complex like that, it's gotta be me as a white lad, come on Janis: alright Janis: I'll come Jimmy: alright Janis: I know today is shit Janis: we don't need to pretend otherwise Jimmy: didn't reckon we were Janis: yeah Jimmy: ? Janis: It is a stupid question Janis: but aside from the obvious, are you alright? Jimmy: are you? Janis: Yeah, pretty much Janis: so what's wrong? Jimmy: how much of the obvious are we putting aside? Janis: that the kids would be a bit gutted about your mum and the food and craic from your dad would be a bit shit Janis: in a nutshell Janis: so go on Jimmy: I'll live Janis: you don't wanna tell me, do you Jimmy: nowt to tell, it's shit, you already said it Janis: okay Jimmy: if you can believe in 🎅 you can take my word for it Janis: I am Janis: okay means 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: we don't need to have an entire 👌👍 back and forth Janis: I'll 💬 when I'm close and you can keep being alright Jimmy: you started it, mate Jimmy: don't be a spoilsport Janis: go on then Janis: have your fun, it ain't mine Jimmy: 🗨  to me dickhead Janis: talk back to me Jimmy: I am Janis: not properly Janis: it's gone funny again Jimmy: what do you want me to say? Janis: I don't know Janis: just what you want Jimmy: I never said I were any good with words Janis: I'll survive Janis: let's just be Janis: like normal, business as usual Jimmy: I thought you were gonna write business casual, like there's an Ian approved dress code Jimmy: 🤏 gutted Janis: I have forgone the glitter and fur Janis: though I doubt he'd be as buzzing as shit nan, couldn't risk that faux pas again Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: he'd be chuffed to bits if you were wearing that, no funny business Janis: for the throwback of it all or Jimmy: you're right, loads of people have 👀 the 📷 Jimmy: you CAN'T Janis: if he slid into the gals DMs with the goss you could 🚨 Jimmy: ootd not outfit of the DAYS Jimmy: 👮🚔 Janis: oi, arrest him, not me Janis: you never said you were strictly fashion 👮 Jimmy: fine, if you don't wanna drive off into the sunset with me Jimmy: offering you a getaway car here Janis: the cars with me Jimmy: if Libi's not in the boot I ain't interested, soz Jimmy: you were told Janis: 🙄 Janis: you'll have to wait and see Janis: and be disappointed Jimmy: if you're wearing that pisstake of an outfit again, yeah Janis: I told you I ain't Janis: never again Janis: 🔥 Jimmy: did you? Janis: yeah Janis: [pictures of a jolly xmas fire with that melting all over the shop lmao] Jimmy: bit rude of you not to invite us Janis: I would if I could Janis: there's plenty more to burn Jimmy: 🎄 jumpers for a start Janis: exactly Janis: see if 💀#2 wants to put her diary on Jimmy: we could do it here 🤞 the whole house'd go up Jimmy: have to move then Janis: that would be win win Janis: death or a fresh start Jimmy: not enough drama for Bill but never is Jimmy: can't win with his 👻 Janis: he'd have you picking who to save Janis: always so EXTRA Janis: take a day off, Billy Jimmy: dead easy answer Janis: Sister can save herself, fuck the dog, so the kid? Jimmy: it's obvs you so the 🎭 can go ON and ON and ON 💔🎻😭 and owt else Janis: ugh Janis: my hero Jimmy: Bill makes the rules, babe Jimmy: @ him 👏👏🌹 Janis: lemme think of a sonnet first Janis: got to win him back 'round Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: don't offer to help then Janis: lazy Jimmy: why would I want you in his good books? Janis: what's good for me is good for you Jimmy: you can only have the one 👻 boyfriend at a time Jimmy: it ain't nowt but 👎 for me to get dumped for a more 🥇🎨🖋 🎭 Janis: I've only got the one Janis: ain't nothing but the writer Janis: and his ideas usually get ignored anyway Jimmy: ❌ Jimmy: oh Bill Janis: you don't have to feel bad for him Janis: is trying to steal me Jimmy: can't blame him for having a go Janis: far as  🧛 fake girlfriends go Jimmy: 🥇🏆💪 far as muses go Janis: I wasn't expecting half as many of the pub crawl pics to come out Janis: and that's not sounding surprised again Janis: just that the 🥴😵 wasn't too real Jimmy: you're that dickhead who looks #goals even with the 📸 on Janis: you make me look good Janis: #talent Janis: #skillz Jimmy: it's nowt to do with me Jimmy: you just look Janis: yeah well Janis: we're #goals by default 'cos you're not ugly yourself Janis: half of 'em probably think they're doing charity work or something 🦐🦑 Jimmy: tis the season Jimmy: 💀👑 must be 💔 she can't get back on it Janis: looks great on a CV Janis: but daddy hasn't thought about that Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: kicking himself when he realises she's already too thick for Trinity Janis: God ONLY knows where she'll end up now Jimmy: 🤞 for the north OBVS Janis: 🤔 Janis: Leeds? Janis: I'll float the idea to her Jimmy: fit right in, her Jimmy: no need to ever leave Janis: SO happy for her and her new Northern life Jimmy: chuck you an oscar in a bit Janis: you got me another prezzie? Janis: you shouldn't have 🤗😘 Jimmy: can't help myself Janis: 🎅 energy Jimmy: just wanna be the 🎅 you deserve 💕 Janis: awh, don't make us cry Jimmy: 🚗 or 🏃? Janis: 🚗 Janis: why not Jimmy: alright 🚫😭 Janis: Considerate Janis: all you know I'm already ten sheets to the wind Jimmy: I'd know Janis: alright 👮 Jimmy: give yourself away ages before I got you to do any blowing, pisshead Janis: piss off would I Jimmy: weren't a challenge Janis: didn't say it was Janis: not bringing a bottle, obviously Janis: don't wanna make friends with him do I Jimmy: could've given it to me Janis: if it's a requirement I'll keep driving, dickhead Jimmy: if it were a requirement I'd have said before now Janis: then shh Janis: I might've got you something Jimmy: weird coincidence, that Janis: you did? Janis: almost like it's a holiday or something Jimmy: Dunno, sounds fake to me, that, mate Janis: what did you get me then Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 😣 Janis: mean Jimmy: come here and open it Janis: if it's your dick in box I'm gonna be a 🤏 unimpressed Jimmy: 🎀 Janis: gift wrapping skills leaving nothing to be desired Janis: got it Jimmy: [a picture of this wrapped gift like how rude look how beautiful it is] Janis: don't be a tease again Janis: I'm already driving fast as I can Jimmy: only be a tease if didn't give it you Jimmy: actually for Libi, soz like Janis: she's had enough Janis: take it even if it's another cuddly toy Jimmy: I ain't giving you no clues Janis: not even if I 🥺 Jimmy: go on Janis: [does but obviously it's very pisstakey] Jimmy: 👏👏🌹 Janis: is that a clue Jimmy: might be Jimmy: might just not fancy you 💀💀💀 from the lack of attention before you get here Janis: very possible Janis: so like me Jimmy: can't take the risk Janis: all the 💪🥇 heroics for you Jimmy: tah Jimmy: nowt to do with being a dickhead who needs you to do owt Janis: 'course not Jimmy: #notallsantas Jimmy: but crack on through the 🌨 to bring me my Jimmy: 🎁 Janis: does this mean I'm an elf Jimmy: you're poor exploited rudolf and I'm your dead keen missus Jimmy: we've switched Janis: 😱 Jimmy: crack on and save me an' all Jimmy: would call this house a prison if I were a dramatic sort of reindeer lass Janis: I doubt you're being treated to such stunning musical numbers whilst you sit and rot though Janis: actually be right there, like Jimmy: you gonna sing for us? Janis: also how you know I'm not that drunk Janis: no karaoke now Jimmy: not even if I 🥺 Janis: 😏 Janis: we'll see Jimmy: [obvs does because always that bitch] Janis: [just assuming your xmas injury is not visible?] Jimmy: [I'm gonna say no so that the bubs won't know when we go to skerries because that's feelsier] Janis: [I vibe] Janis: okay, pretty convincing Jimmy: always sounding so 😱 you Janis: I might've forgotten what you looked like Jimmy: either that's bollocks or what you said a bit ago about my #goals face were Janis: you decide Jimmy: 👌 Janis: maybe I'm just saying it's been ages Jimmy: not denying that Janis: then take the compliment Jimmy: if we're telling each other what to do, shut up and drive Janis: 1. you always try and tell me what to do 2. what do you think I'm doing, you shut up Jimmy: 1. when do I? 2. pissing about Janis: literally constantly, no way I could narrow it down to a few examples Jimmy: convenient, that Janis: well bossy Janis: #bossbabe Jimmy: OI 👏 do 👏 you 👏 wanna 👏 buy 👏 the 👏 shite 👏 off 👏 my 👏 facebook 👏 OR 👏 WHAT? Janis: Honey, you're in a pyramid scheme Janis: and the lipsticks are shit 💁 Jimmy: 💰 on that being what pub crawl Sharon or Karen 💋 me with Jimmy: might've woken up with no face and your #ultimatekinkunlocked Janis: never gonna sell 'em so she may as well get some wear out of 'em Jimmy: #entreprenher Janis: 🤢 Janis: #dirtyoldcow Jimmy: 🐑 or nowt for this lad Jimmy: and she weren't even blonde! Janis: honestly, who does she think she is Janis: walking 'round like she's 👸🏼 Jimmy: *👰🏼 Jimmy: I'm a good catholic boy now 🚫💍🚫💋 Janis: 🤞 you've just made my nan drop down dead somewhere Jimmy: merry christmas, my dear Jimmy: 👍✔⚰ Janis: best present ever 😍😍 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: what did you get anyway Janis: fun was watching everyone struggle to get me anything without hint or direction Jimmy: mine were Ian not bothering to surprise us with 🐱🐭🐹🐰 or 🐢🐍🦎 to go with the 🐕 no dickhead asked for Janis: Such a read of poor Twix Janis: never again Jimmy: the one favour she's done us Janis: * I read 😇 Jimmy: he wants to bring her tomorrow Jimmy: 🤞🚫🐕 allowed Janis: plenty of places we can go that are only fake dog friendly Janis: but likewise, loads we can go where she can as well Jimmy: where do you want to? Janis: where do you wanna Jimmy: that's not an answer Janis: I don't care, s'not about me Jimmy: or me Janis: well we can't just let them decide or fuck knows what hell we'd end up in Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: have a 💭 Janis: you too Janis: or you'll blame me if it's crap Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: but alright Janis: 😒 is permanent I know Jimmy: while I've still got a face any road Janis: we'll see how far the chemical burn can drive your rating down Jimmy: it won't with you, nowt else matters obvs Janis: won't run my rating down, or won't change my # of you? Jimmy: hang on, your rating ain't the same as your #s?! 😱 Janis: oops, I meant scale of #1-#10 Jimmy: don't matter, we're 💕 face or no face Janis: if you wanted sympathy, a well good breakup where I look like a total bitch Janis: and you don't need to fake no terminal illness Jimmy: be a bit rude Janis: could work Janis: though the sympathy sex DMs might get out of control for the gals that can stomach it Jimmy: you're really not convincing me this is even a 🥉 plan Janis: I was just thinking of myself, ngl babes Janis: the only lads who would bother me would be the ones that like mean girls, so at least I could still piss on 💀👑's parade and steal all her victims Jimmy: 👍 Janis: is that a 🤝? Janis: 👍 Jimmy: if it were I'd have said it were Janis: ugh Janis: fine Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: do it whilst you still can Janis: melty face Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 Janis: oh you Jimmy: highlight of my day, that Janis: I know that's saying fuck all so Jimmy: 🎻🎻'll say it for me Jimmy: should probably 😭 while I can an' all Jimmy: brb Janis: where you going? Janis: I'll be there soon Jimmy: not telling you where I 😭 Janis: 🙄🙄😑 right Janis: carry on Jimmy: I'll dry my eyes before you get here, nowt to worry about Jimmy: back to 😎🚬 business as usual Janis: thank god Janis: not the kind of 'pleased to see me' I'm after Jimmy: 🔧🔨🪓🔪 I know Janis: be well rude if you'd forgot Jimmy: haven't had chance to smack myself round the head with any of 'em yet, you're alright Jimmy: nowt but a dream Janis: don't worry Janis: about to be a reality Jimmy: 🤞😍🤞 Janis: something like that Janis: am I coming in or are you coming outside Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: I dunno Janis: answer it and I'll see Jimmy: why would you wanna come in? Jimmy: the obvs answer to that one is you wouldn't Janis: Yeah, but mission piss off your dad is in full swing, hence I asked Janis: but alright Janis: obviously I'm not pulling up right outside your house in his car so come over park Jimmy: 🏃 Janis: [chilling outside this car not at all looking like you're about to do a drug deal or something] Jimmy: [chuck this 🎁 at her immediately because we're excited and also it's a distraction from how forlorn he clearly is] Janis: [poke and prod and shake it like you can work out what it is] Jimmy: [a look like open it then] Janis: [a look like don't rush me but obviously does and I cannot overstate how actually #SHOOK we'd be like idk what you're gonna say gal] Jimmy: [jimothy just gonna assume you don't like it, thanks for the self doubt Ian] Janis: ['mine's a bit shit now' like it's just a lighter but also you got that engraved we see you] Jimmy: [gesture for that gift like I'll be the judge of that thank you] Jimmy: [we know he's buzzing and is gonna use it immediately] Janis: [handing it over like you're not that bothered but clearly are, lowkey just looking through as much of the book as we can rn] Jimmy: [please do gal because he was joking about 😭 a min ago but he'd actually be emosh af rn cos the greatest gift we have ever received honestly] Janis: [when you don't even have to explain that you had it done before he did it 'cos literally last night and it's Christmas, we're all a bit emosh and overwhelmed now lmao, slayed it too hard] Jimmy: [not putting the lighter away even after his lit both of your 🚬 -which would be a moment ™ rn in each other's grill while overwhelmed af- because we're just gonna keep tracing that engraving with our fingers lowkey forever] Janis: [the amount of times we keep going to say something, like, literally no one has ever got us a gift this good, or how much we like it, or literally any of it, but we cannot 'cos it's too much so just standing here dying and smoking] Jimmy: [hard same though, they are both very much in the same boat, but add loads of blinking for him so he don't sob nbd] Janis: [when nothing is safe rn, can't speak, can't make out, just like !!! so hard, do a feelsy lean like you okay 'cos can't verbalise so] Jimmy: [obvs gonna do a feelsy lean back which hopefully won't hurt you too much boy because idk how we're hurting you this time] Janis: [yeah just let me know when it would be obvious 'cos not oblivious but don't wanna act like she's psychic and just gonna know immediately lol] Jimmy: [can you remember what injury I did when ice bath because I remember that but not what was fucking him up at the time] Janis: [it was just general body shots/potential for a broken rib moment, I think?] Jimmy: [that sounds accurate because nhs direct were like 🚭 so of course I did] Janis: [it just makes sense for where you would hit someone if you weren't going for a face moment, so potential you might of flinched then, I guess, so we're ? and out of our feels like what was that] Jimmy: [yeah like we're hiding the fact it hurts every time we breathe in so we don't have to forfeit the 🚬 and shit on your gift giving but the feelsy lean is our undoing, literally could've just not done it boy but we know you had to] Janis: [like honestly well done for getting that far it's only 'cos it was so dramatically emotional, the lowkey speed we're putting together what Bobby said, the obvious fact you were driving Ian's stolen car, like okay, so at least we don't have to ask the question, just gently holding his face 'cos can't even hug him or anything 'can I see?' like lemme assess the damage] Jimmy: [at least you would have a bit of time left to downplay how bad it is by looking at her like I'm fine before the bruises expose you because hasn't been long enough for them to fully be !!!!] Janis: [a look like, so show me then, but not as cunty as that sounds lmao] Jimmy: [I look around at the weather like do you want me to freeze to death because I love that we're communicating in looks still lol] Janis: [turning around like oh look, a car] Jimmy: [go sit in it because the weather isn't just an excuse clearly if you're gonna get snowed in tomorrow] Janis: [turn that heating on gal 'bit rude you weren't gonna seduce me' but your tone making it obvs you don't reckon you're gonna succeed at lightening the mood rn but you're alright with not making him talk about it too] Jimmy: ['bit rude of you to reckon I weren't' and a look around like is this not the perfect place to seduce you in because we will downplay this situation until the day we die so it's all nbd and we're SO FINE] Janis: [likewise looks around and shrugs 'suppose it's no less romantic than the park' and then looks out at said park and just chills in the silence for a bit] Jimmy: [we're looking too cos the mems and then eventually we're like 'come here then' as if we're gonna just hook up in this car as standard, sir your injuries] Janis: [does not] Jimmy: [nudges her like excuse you but you know that's gonna make you flinch if the feelsy lean did so then we're just annoyed for letting that happen again] Janis: [sighs, 'never promised I was gonna kill you today' like simply not in this state, and then is looking around again for something, before taking off our hoodie and getting out to assemble this snow pack] Jimmy: [OTT fake sigh to hide how big our genuine sigh would have been as if she doesn't know and then we're just watching her do this like ? before it becomes obvious what she's doing 'got loads of frozen sprouts at ours' because who in his fam would wanna eat them but we're not stopping her because we're hiding this from Bobby at least even if Cass knows] Janis: [just giving this to him like put it where you need it most 'you could go lay in it but you nah'd that idea before we even started' again, gentle pisstaking rn] Jimmy: [does obvs so you're gonna see anyway gal 'no I never, you never said that were your plan' likewise with our gentle pisstaking as if this is a normal day] Janis: [gestures like be my guest 'not a requirement I've gotta be on top of you' but we're looking the best we can without dramatically examining him right now and we're not happy with what we seeing, obviously] Jimmy: ['weren't a requirement for me to get my tits out either but that's what you were after a bit ago' as if she was asking him to flash her instead of trying to investigate whether he's alright or not, I lol] Janis: [IRL 🙄 at you boy 'you gonna try and tell me you're not that sort of girl now'] Jimmy: [crosses himself in the most pisstakey manner cos he's still him, however much pain he's in] Janis: [lols 'great, fake waiting 'til fake marriage now'] Jimmy: [is like 🤫 but way hotter than that emoji is obviously and then kissing her as if it's their secret] Janis: [the casual restraint we must show so it doesn't end up going too heavy here, but still, you can kiss as his face isn't injured rn, points to the heavens like, he's always watching babe] Jimmy: [a look up to said heavens like we're so #into that idea of a pervy voyeuristic god] Janis: [😏 'all about the #fans, you'] Jimmy: [shakes his head like a nerd 'don't sound like me'] Janis: [noise like hmm okay hun, after a little more silence, 'where were the kids?' we mean when Ian beat him up but up to you if he follows this train of thought] Jimmy: [shaking his head again before he can stop himself but obvs this time seriously like they didn't see anything because he does know what she means and my vibe is that whenever this happened Cass would've kept Bobby busy when the arguing started but because jimothy isn't ready to get into this whole story even though she's already worked it out he's gonna pretend he doesn't know what she's going on about and that was simply a confused headshake 'what?'] Janis: ['where are the kids now, like?' like what they up to, how'd you sneak out vibes, not 'cos you wanna pretend that's what you said all along but you understood if nothing else that he heard you and he doesn't wanna talk about however he understood what you said so we changing the subject] Jimmy: [nods in the direction of his house literally over the road 'can probably see 'em pissing about with all the shit he's bought from here' because we know that's the only parenting Ian does honey] Janis: [nods because we understand this type of parenting too, even if that isn't actually all that ruster do but you know 'gonna take weeks to get rid of all the fucking wrapping paper at ours'] Jimmy: [flicks his lighter she got him on and off 'you'll have a right laugh doing that' because we know she loves the one we gave her too] Janis: ['another good idea' and going to switch out his snow pack 'is it helping a bit?'] Jimmy: ['full of 'em, me' because we can't even with people taking care of us because when does that ever happen but it is helping so we've gotta add 'but you do alright yourself an' all'] Janis: [shrugs like it's the literal least we can do 'cos we think other people would probably have something to say or whatever rn and we don't 'you had any painkillers yet?'] Jimmy: [mimes drinking but that's clearly a pisstake because you'd know if he was drunk rn and is about to say something but actually does 🥱 because hasn't had any sleep which would hurt so thank god for this snow actually working so it's bearable] Janis: [back at it with this snow pack like we're anticipating that, before rummaging round in this car looking for some pills, gonna say there's none, at least he lives more central than you gal, looking at him like hmm 'you should go lay in the back' like get comfy whilst I run to the shops 'shame Helena isn't actually a dealer, though'] Jimmy: ['bit weird if you drove all this way to watch me sleep, Joanne' but does go to get comfy because why not tbh but because he's him he's pulling her along with him like I only will if you come and lie with me 'or in the boot' imagine if she just popped up like hey LOL] Janis: ['what are you gonna do about it?' said like a usual challenge but it simply is not, speaking of the boot reaching over now she's also in the back for the obligatory random coats and picnic blankets etc so she can cover him up so he doesn't get cold whilst having to be covered in snow as well, just tucking him in and shaking our head like oh you 'so soz I didn't kidnap any bitch for you and tie her up back there'] Jimmy: [tries to start a playfight but we simply can't so we're grumpy and forlorn but we're pretending we're gutted about the lack of kidnap only and making it OTT and fake as per 'you'll have to do' and acting like we're gonna tie her up with something but snuggling into her because we are buzzing she's here in these shit times] Janis: [just snuggling for a while, trying to make him as comfortable as possible all things considered 'I've got to get some pain relief in you before you crash' and dramatically tearing yourself away like you won't be 10 minutes or so] Jimmy: [checking his imaginary watch like no no I don't have time to crash it's alright because you simply don't want her to go even though she's literally gonna be 10 minutes lol] Janis: [pouting unintentionally 'cos likewise don't really wanna leave him like you could take the car but don't wanna drive it all over this town unnecessarily like they run license plate checks often enough to not be silly with it 'I'll get drink too, if I can, if you want' like every little helps] Jimmy: [gotta just run his thumb over that pouty lip like that's not the most distracting thing ever because if we say something we'll just be like DON'T GO!! too dramatically to even pretend is fake so we can't even talk, so soz that he can't answer a question ever at the best of times but managing to get out 'if you want' as if she's the one who needs it oh jimothy] Janis: [testing you so hard right now soz gal, 'it'll keep us warm' because you have to be at least slightly suggestive back before running] Jimmy: speaking of kidnap, my sister's coming tomorrow an' all Jimmy: can chuck the 🐕 at her soon as it starts doing our heads in Janis: 👍 Janis: we won't have to do something completely 4-6 shit then and we can blame it on her on the sly Janis: sorted Jimmy: Dunno what or where they'll all be bothered about Janis: well I have been 🤔 like you said Jimmy: go on Jimmy: what's your 🥇💡? Janis: we can kick it cliche and go to the beach Janis: but not here Janis: nan and granda got a caravan in Skerries and Libi would love showing you and Bobby around no doubt Jimmy: *#goals Jimmy: if Libi's 😁 our kid will be Janis: awh Janis: thank god they don't go to our school Janis: too much competition Jimmy: he's been going on about her all day Jimmy: don't even need #s Janis: had to wrestle my phone off her 'cos she was trying to call him midway through lunch to see if he had to eat carrots too Jimmy: the answer's he don't have to eat owt he don't want, she'd have been 💔 Jimmy: just tells Ian he's allergic to whatever it is if he starts Jimmy: he'd be well good at fake dating, oscar's in the bag Janis: honestly, coming for your job at CG next Janis: when he can reach the counter Jimmy: he can have that, they've been on at me to work tomorrow Janis: seriously Janis: who needs overpriced caffeine that badly boxing day Jimmy: what dickhead needs it any day? Janis: true Janis: but especially now Jimmy: Pete needs the 💰💰 for new 🎸 strings or some bollocks, I've told him to crack on Jimmy: 😘 Janis: he'll remember you when he's made it big Jimmy: 🤞 he'll write a song about me Jimmy: you can sing it Janis: that's cruel and unusual punishment Janis: obviously want a song written about me, not to sing about you 💔 Jimmy: you'll have to earn yours an' all Jimmy: he's no slag Janis: it is easy though Jimmy: to write a song or inspire one? Janis: to inspire one Janis: even without shifts to swap Jimmy: inspire me then Jimmy: might 🖋 you one Janis: right now I'm a bit busy getting you drugs and alcohol Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Jimmy: what are you gonna do let 💊 🥃 inspire me instead? Janis: Can you even write? Janis: I'll know if you cheat and let Bill's 👻 do it for you Jimmy: even the thickest northerner would know if Bill's 👻 had a go Jimmy: all his thees and thous Janis: that's how they talk in the countryside though Janis: I've been forced to read Wuthering Heights, tah Jimmy: bit rude you ain't written me a sonnet, living out there in the middle of nowt with all them fit 🐑 all about to act as a muse for you Janis: if it don't fit on a lighter, how am I gonna get you to see it? Jimmy: carve it into my 😎 Janis: a good idea 'til you're legally blind and I've got to train the dog more than sit and stay Jimmy: if anyone could though, mate Jimmy: obvs you Jimmy: train it to walk us into traffic and that's another job done Janis: nah Janis: shit way to die Janis: where's the fun in it for me? Jimmy: never said there were, it were you saying you were busy Janis: come on Janis: never too busy for you, darling Jimmy: walked into that like I were blind Janis: you are sleepy Janis: won't be too disappointed in you Jimmy: should've let you meet Ian, that's step mum talk if I've ever heard it Janis: financially ruining him with the divorce is just the tip of the iceberg of shit I'd be more than willing to do Janis: #fakedatethefakeboyfriendsrealdad? Janis: might be the logical next step Jimmy: if that's the tip, can't wait to hear what you're willing to do on the rest of that iceberg Janis: nothing if not dedicated to the cause Jimmy: 😍😍 Janis: I did forget how many places would be shut though Janis: there'll be somewhere Jimmy: It's alright Jimmy: come back Janis: no you need some Jimmy: I'll live Janis: how about at yours Jimmy: 💊 ✔ 🥃✔ Jimmy: not gonna get any 🏆 off Helena or her customers but Janis: yeah but, can you go in Janis: or am I Jimmy: I get it, you wanna crack on with your iceberg strategy Janis: 🛳 Jimmy: I better crack on an' all and paint you before I 🥶🌊 Janis: you better still be under those blankets Jimmy: [a picture like 👀 peeping out from those blankets] Janis: you're adorable Jimmy: come back Janis: okay Janis: but I am gonna make you feel better somehow Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: knew you couldn't resist me, Jules Janis: never said I could Janis: but you've got to resist me Jimmy: don't challenge me Jimmy: not like that Janis: Sorry Jimmy: 🎻💔😭 Janis: I know, baby Janis: so devastating Jimmy: worst christmas EVER Janis: 🥺 Janis: you would feel differently if you'd picked yourself up a 🐶 Jimmy: that'd be worst christmas ever and ever amen Janis: STOP PRAYING Janis: it's so weird Jimmy: make me Janis: 😈 Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: [show back up, lowkey grumpy you forgot it was Christmas day but we're happy to see him, checking he's comfortable and probably doing the snow pack again] Jimmy: [snuggle her because she must be cold and that's obvs the only reason okay] Janis: [get yourselves situated lads] Jimmy: [opening his mouth to say a million things like thanks, I missed you, I was only joking it's not the worst christmas ever but we don't know how to say any of them so we're just not] Janis: [putting your finger on his mouth like he said anything at all there 's'alright' like it so isn't for either of you rn but you're trying god bless Jimmy: [hitting her with some intense eye contact like I hope you can read my mind rn because all those things I wanna say are so important] Janis: [at least you can kiss] Jimmy: [you both very much need to, I couldn't be that evil] Janis: [or something is gonna come out here, I can't be held responsible lol] Jimmy: [literally same so shh for a bit please] Janis: [emotions are running hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh and not jus me character bleeding] Jimmy: [they are and that's why it's gonna be so fun that they get snowed in and so heartbreaking when she leaves] Janis: [oh the delicious drama] Jimmy: [speaking of leaving neither of you are gonna wanna go home even more than usual] Janis: [like you barely have to, just to make sure Cass and Bobby are ready and you've got to get Libi gal but yes, still] Jimmy: [damn you kiddos, we know they'd just go now if not for y'all] Janis: [when you can't leave your siblings, so sad, so rude] Jimmy: [literally didn't ask to be parents rn but we are out here becoming a family unit] Janis: [god bless, at least you're all gonna have a good time on this trip] Jimmy: [we'll make sure you do, lads, casual domestic bliss] Janis: [but seriously, is there anything else we dare to say or do rn before making you separate] Jimmy: [we should probably separate you but I don't want to lol] Janis: [at least you can message when you're separated so you'll have to say something and not just snugg] Jimmy: [give her your hoodie or jumper before she goes because she's sacrificed hers for you and you easily can sacrifice one of your layers because you only have to go across the road when you can bring yourself to] Janis: [cute selfie you don't need to take to prove you're still wearing it like 5 minutes later lol] Jimmy: [one back of him taking some painkillers, I imagine they're on his sticky out tongue in a sassy manner like we're calling her out for worrying about him when he's OBVS FINE but we're sending the pic actually so she won't worry because we care] Janis: take more than the recommended dose, tah Janis: but only double, no 💀 Jimmy: I get it, no self induced coma unless you're there to take advantage Janis: if Sandy ain't gonna Jimmy: how many oscars has she got? you should've have 'em off her Janis: has she got any? Janis: you're her biggest fan, you tell me Jimmy: it's you bringing her up Janis: sounds fake Jimmy: you'd know about that more than me Janis: Why would I? Jimmy: you're going for her oscars Janis: on my own Janis: I think not Jimmy: don't reckon they'll cut one in half for us Jimmy: and as long as I've got the #fans convinced I why would I need owt else? Janis: long-winded way of saying you'd be 🥈 Jimmy: what you thought I were done giving you 🎁s Janis: don't cheapen the actual gift, dickhead Janis: also if you aren't, gonna have to do the classic see-what's-lying-about-to-wrap so Jimmy: nowt cheap about 🥇 Janis: is if you reckon you're giving it me Janis: got to earn it or what's the point Jimmy: don't you reckon you have? Janis: don't you? Jimmy: what for? Janis: for our 💘story Janis: what else? Jimmy: not today I've not Janis: yeah you have Janis: anyway, no cunt works christmas Jimmy: you have 🚑 Janis: that's not 💘 Janis: I wanted to see you Janis: then you was fucked up, what am I meant to do? Janis: anyone would Jimmy: 🏃 Jimmy: that's what loads of people would do Janis: nah Janis: not a pussy Jimmy: 💔🧛 there weren't no 🩸 though Jimmy: next time 🤞 Janis: you might be pissing it Janis: but I'm not thrilled about that Janis: lack of a piss fetish aside Jimmy: I'll leave out the selfie one way or the other Janis: 💡 Janis: don't wanna get banned, babe Jimmy: sounds fake, that Jimmy: love a ban, me Janis: fine Janis: can you not just do an appropriately placed 🍆 sticker Jimmy: depends how massive the sticker'll go, babe Jimmy: no promises Janis: 😏 Janis: idiot Jimmy: 🚫🩸🧠 Janis: that old excuse Jimmy: no need to tell the fans it's 'cause I'm pissing it out Janis: 🤫 Janis: though no need if you plan on going live next time you need a slash Jimmy: only if the 💊🥃 really inspire me Janis: 🙄 Janis: soz we're not going away on a bender Jimmy: have to rely on you for my 🎨 then Janis: nice of you not to demote me Jimmy: here Jimmy: [whatever today's doodle the final one of this advent is] Janis: it's the last one Jimmy: don't have to be Janis: you gonna keep doing it 'til 💀💔 Jimmy: why not? Janis: not very goals if you get wrist strain Jimmy: I'll spread it about it's not 🍆 related, don't worry Janis: tah Jimmy: 😘 Janis: you'll run out of ways to draw me before long Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: ✏🖌💪 Jimmy: Oi you forgot 🖋🖍 Janis: 🖋 is Bill's 🖍 is Bobby's Jimmy: bit rude Janis: you're being the hog Janis: learn to share Jimmy: gave him the last roast potato ages ago Jimmy: just the kind of brother I am 🏆 Janis: show off Jimmy: keep your jealousy in check, I'd have given it you if you'd been here Janis: had a plate load myself, don't you worry Jimmy: sleep easy now, tah Janis: that makes one of us Jimmy: I get it, you're 😁 for tomorrow Jimmy: you and our kid both Janis: more like Libi won't leave me alone now for the same reason Janis: she basically does acrobatics in her sleep so that'll be well fun Jimmy: 💔 we can't chuck the two of 'em in a room in a bit and leave 'em to it Jimmy: 'cause he'll be as bad Janis: you're gonna have to sleep on his floor Janis: hard surface will help in the long run Jimmy: dunno how I'm explaining that Jimmy: 🦷🔦🦷 brb just checking for monsters mate, don't 😱😭 or owt Janis: duh, say you wanna go camping Janis: then he'll inevitably wanna join you and you can have the bed to yourself when he crashes Jimmy: make up your mind, Janet Jimmy: hard surface you said Janis: just rather you didn't get booted Janis: either or on where you end up Jimmy: weren't in my #ultimategoals Janis: obviously, I ain't there Jimmy: what you trying to make me 😭😭😭 for? Janis: not my ultimate goal either Jimmy: that'd be turning the 🚗 round Janis: 'course Janis: what could be more cinematic Jimmy: nowt, which is why I said it Janis: shame you don't write the scene directions Jimmy: yeah Janis: he's such a cockblock Jimmy: SUCH a slag for the tension Janis: bit rude 'cos he had them married, fucked and dead in the space of like 3 days in the OG Jimmy: what's he trying to say about us? the dickhead Janis: maybe he's trying to be more #relatable to a modern audience? Janis: he's seen the ❤s and the views Jimmy: next go round he'll do it so they never meet IRL Janis: 😱 oh god Janis: I'd kms immediately Jimmy: there you go Jimmy: job done in even less than 3 days Janis: at least I get to 👀 at you Janis: an actual fake boyfriend that doesn't exist is well 🎻 Jimmy: the 🎨 would be SO shite Janis: probably 'cos I'd have to do it myself Jimmy: nah 'cause I wouldn't be in it Janis: 😂 Janis: bighead strikes again Jimmy: Oi that's a point Jimmy: you never did sing to me Janis: shh Jimmy: go on Janis: I can't just sing at you Jimmy: why? Janis: 1. it'd be weird 2. contrary to popular (your) belief, I don't think I'm well mint at everything Jimmy: 1. you're making it weird 2. you never will with that attitude, dickhead Janis: 😑 Jimmy: *3. please Janis: let a good song come on the radio first Jimmy: as excuses go 🏆 Jimmy: know how you feel about interrupting Mariah Janis: [voice recording of us singing along to whatever festive song is on rn like there] Jimmy: 👏👏🌹 Jimmy: but none for me 'cause I never thought through how much that'd make me miss you Janis: it's hardly a lullabye but Janis: you wanted it Jimmy: dunno what's more of a pisstake 1. you not reckoning you're good at owt 2. that there's actually nowt you aren't 3. how bad I still want you here Janis: I just know what I'm good at, properly Janis: most people can sing if someone teaches you how to breathe right Janis: but the last part is mutual Jimmy: you gonna give me the bulletpoints or what? Janis: of what I'm good at? Jimmy: can't teach me to breathe properly from there, might as well Janis: I don't think nows the time for breathing exercises, like Janis: and you've seen or you'll see what I'm good at Jimmy: don't want you to crash the 🚗 girl Jimmy: why I said the breathing bit can wait Janis: 😏 Janis: but Jimmy: but Janis: I miss you Jimmy: it wasn't long enough Jimmy: tomorrow'll be Jimmy: you'll be telling me to piss off by the end Janis: maybe Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: not that being a MASSIVE dickhead is, obvs Janis: obviously Janis: but you're literally competing with children so who am I gonna get sick of faster Jimmy: goes without saying won't be the 🐕 Janis: you brought her up Jimmy: missing me less already look Janis: dickhead Janis: you bringing her then? Jimmy: 🤞 Ian'll murder her if I don't Janis: that's a yeah Jimmy: how is it? Janis: you don't want her murdered Jimmy: the blame for it, but that'll be @iantaylor8 Jimmy: chuffed to bits for him to have it Janis: maybe she'll 'run away' tomorrow then Jimmy: went to live with mum, nowt to worry about kids 👍 Janis: an update on the farm classic Jimmy: 🗨 bollocks is what he's good at Janis: not going for the easy gag of saying it's where you got it from Jimmy: 🎯 Janis: should I bring Killer? Jimmy: do you want to? Janis: not really Janis: but she'd flip shit if you brought Twix Janis: don't wanna get them on the rocks already 💔 Jimmy: you're alright, I'll leave her here Janis: 👌 I'll tell her Jimmy: 👌 Janis: might have to call you up when she refuses to take my word for it Jimmy: if she has a go at me in sign she can say whatever she likes Jimmy: haven't taught her nowt that'll 💔 me Janis: we all know 💩head is pretty devastating Janis: don't need to put a brave face on Jimmy: #notallsantas Jimmy: how many times, babe Janis: how dare I forget how special you are Jimmy: SO rude Janis: Baby Jimmy: I'll forgive you, just that kind of 🎅 Janis: the kind that misses out on an opportunity to have me make it up to you? Janis: psh Jimmy: the kind that knows you will Janis: purposely won't now Jimmy: alright, then I'll have to make you Janis: look forward to seeing you try Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: let's hope so Janis: I wanted to be nice to you but now I can't on principle Jimmy: 🥺🥺🥺 Janis: stop it Jimmy: when you start being nice to me Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: you better not lose the lighter Jimmy: 😱😱 AS IF Janis: or give it away to any fucker in the smoking area Jimmy: well generous, me Jimmy: that'll DEFINITELY happen Janis: 😠 Jimmy: it's not the last roast potato, you're alright Janis: 👌 Jimmy: it is Jimmy: whatever you give me is safe with me Janis: alright, we did fairytale of new york last night Jimmy: weren't likely to forget how 🥇 I did the accent Janis: you don't take Irish and it shows Jimmy: said nowt about chucking that lighter at your head Janis: well I've got a full play to hit you with so think on, Shane Jimmy: stop flirting with me Janis: rude Jimmy: I'm trying to tell you I like my 🎁 dickhead Janis: so do I Jimmy: good Janis: Libi said tell Bobby to remember Snow Janis: it was a bit threatening tbh but leave that out Jimmy: forget Snow, forget this friendship, mate 👋 Janis: what can I say Janis: she's got priorities Jimmy: takes after you, gonna chuck me if I chuck this lighter Janis: least no fucker else is gonna reckon she's my kid Jimmy: they'll hear me 🗨 and reckon they're all mine Janis: the reality is they'll probably think they're yours and your sisters Janis: soz 🤢 Jimmy: grim up north Janis: not gonna make your sister buzzing for the day out so 🤫 Jimmy: not gonna add her into this 🗨 Jimmy: she might not wanna now the 🐕's not Janis: @ all of 'em Janis: cheek Jimmy: 💔 Janis: least you wanna spend time with me Janis: have to do Jimmy: you gonna be nice to me then? Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: are you gonna be nice to me or what Jimmy: dunno what you mean Jimmy: never not nice to you Janis: 🤔 Janis: not really an answer, that Jimmy: be nice to me, you can have the same back Jimmy: how's that? Janis: when am I not nice to you is the question Janis: but alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: see, no answer Janis: I'm too nice to you Jimmy: or I were being nice by 🔥 the receipts Janis: ha Janis: go for it, not like I'm delusional like the gals and think I'm SO lovely to EVERYONE Jimmy: should've introduced them to Ian Jimmy: that's his #vibe today Janis: long as he promises to murder them Janis: ideal Jimmy: won't be able to help himself, obvs Jimmy: they make up for not being bottle blonde by looking 45 Janis: I'll tell Grace to put the right wig on Jimmy: bit of patience 💀👑 and 💀#2's will have all fallen out Janis: less evidence clean up Janis: considerate of them Janis: really are #saints Jimmy: hang about for that tutorial, you'll be well in Janis: 'scuse you Janis: I wore something girly and I've got a man Janis: literally the requirements apparently Jimmy: soz, you're right Jimmy: I were thinking about the learning experience that is Tammy's tiktoks Janis: 😂 Janis: if you think I'm dancing for you as well Janis: another thing coming Jimmy: have to do everything myself round here Janis: you love it Jimmy: one of us has to be #goals Jimmy: if you won't, it's up to me Janis: oi Jimmy: what? Janis: you take the piss Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: 🙄 Janis: not long ago you didn't like me walking, never mind 💃 Jimmy: and how mardy were you Jimmy: can't have it both ways, Jennifer Janis: you know why Jimmy: never said I didn't Janis: yeah Jimmy: I'll carry you about tomorrow if you're missing it Janis: no you won't Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: you're gonna take it easy Jimmy: 🛏⛓'s meant to be my kink not yours Janis: s'called roleplaying Janis: try it Jimmy: UGH FINE Janis: I promise you'll have a good time Jimmy: yeah? Janis: serious Jimmy: alright Jimmy: then I promise not to piss about Janis: okay Janis: are you alright? Jimmy: are you? Janis: yeah Janis: are you Jimmy: now I've seen you Janis: I mean it Jimmy: me an' all Janis: you and your lines Janis: make me 😳 Jimmy: Oi, I just said it weren't a line Janis: but Jimmy: you heard Janis: I wish I could've stayed Jimmy: do the counting for us Jimmy: til we can go Janis: I'm on it Janis: 🖕✌🤟 Jimmy: that were it Janis: well smart, like Janis: not to brag Jimmy: won't start you a # if you don't want Jimmy: I get it, loads of pressure Janis: what girl don't want a # for Christmas? Janis: #sospoilt Jimmy: [obvs does give her complimentary #s enjoy that the fans] Janis: [flirt on those socials 'cos we don't know what to really say atm] Jimmy: [take your excuse to be fake and extra because the feels are high rn] Janis: [you simply must lads, also hint about this trip like you've had it planned forever] Jimmy: [just wait for how romantic and #goals we can make it when we're snowed in lads, little do you know] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [thank god we have this flirting sesh because I've had to tone what I was gonna say down so many times lol like not yet boy] Janis: [a hard same] Janis: fake you is fun Jimmy: 🤏 of a twat, I get why you like him Janis: give him my number, yeah Jimmy: didn't sound like you were shy around him, reckon you can do that yourself Janis: reckon he'll be well about me making you do it though so Janis: tah Jimmy: massive twat were what I meant to call him Jimmy: 👍✔ Janis: 😏 Jimmy: you know how Bill's 👻 feels about a love triangle Janis: technically a love square but fuck fake me Janis: no one is here for her Jimmy: bit rude to the fans Janis: she's just a boring version of me Janis: deny it Jimmy: never said I was one of her fans Janis: 😱 Janis: *sends screenshot* Jimmy: *backtracks so hard I need more 💊s to sort me out but it's alright there's nowt more goals than a lad with no spine* Janis: we 👏 love 👏 a 👏 doormat 👏 Jimmy: works for mates an' all, dunno why I were acting like I were special there Janis: fake you is well special Janis: #facts Jimmy: 😇 him Janis: gotta be a reason the DMs are so full Jimmy: there's LOADS Jimmy: could go on and on Janis: 🤤 Janis: don't let me stop you Jimmy: he is, well humble that lad Janis: SO shy Janis: scaring him with my thirst Jimmy: bit awkward but can't help it you Janis: it's cool, I can pretend I'm shy too Janis: what's more goals than pretending you have a totally different personality to catch you a man Jimmy: duh Janis: you'd know all about that 😎🚬 Jimmy: I've had a girlfriend, yeah Janis: 💔 Janis: what she pretend to be then? Jimmy: a lass who weren't a total nightmare Janis: if you're gonna pretend to be anything Janis: fairplay Jimmy: did work for a bit, give her that Janis: not the first or last to fall for it Jimmy: obvs Janis: just saying Jimmy: weren't saying you should shut up Janis: well Janis: no need to chat about it Jimmy: 👍 Janis: wasn't what I mean anyway, for starters Jimmy: you meant I weren't 😎🚬 which for starters is bollocks Janis: okay 🤓 Jimmy: you Janis: Hardly Jimmy: more chance that you're a 🤓 than me Jimmy: and loads more receipts Janis: is there fuck Jimmy: deny it all you like, girl Jimmy: I can't even read Janis: ~express~ yourself in other ways don't you Janis: I don't Jimmy: bollocks do you not Janis: only when you force me to sing Jimmy: didn't take much 🥊 Janet Jimmy: barely twisted owt of yours Janis: 'cos you couldn't, soft boy Janis: be embarrassing to watch you try Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you'd be 😳 but we both know why Janis: not what we're talking about Jimmy: is it not? Janis: you know it's not Jimmy: sounds fake Janis: never said you weren't good at that Jimmy: I'm just saying you express yourself in as many different ways as me Janis: that's just Jimmy: what? Janis: 🤷🤐 Jimmy: tah for clearing that up Janis: that's just between you and me, is what I was going to say Jimmy: weren't gonna send a tweet, you're alright Janis: shut up Jimmy: that's just between me and everyone else Janis: something like that Jimmy: that's exactly what it's like Jimmy: I've got nowt to say to any of them Janis: Me either Janis: never have, really Jimmy: I like talking to you Jimmy: don't matter what about Janis: it's alright, ain't it Jimmy: that a question or what? Janis: we're mates? Janis: that's a question for you Jimmy: do you wanna be mates? Janis: we act like it Janis: don't we Jimmy: not what I asked but Janis: yeah but you always ask questions never answer so I'm allowed to as well Janis: don't you think we do? Jimmy: I dunno what you're on about, I answer questions Janis: 😂 Janis: you don't Jimmy: bollocks Janis: go on then Janis: answer my question Janis: without asking one Jimmy: hang on, which one, are we mates or do we act like it? Janis: can you manage 2? Janis: since you do it all the time, shouldn't be a struggle Jimmy: there's nowt I can't handle, dickhead Janis: ... Janis: I'm waiting Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: you're so Jimmy: dunno why I wanna be mates with you Janis: Charming as that is Janis: still counts as an answer, so I'll take it Jimmy: 😘 Jimmy: I dunno what's more charming than I don't like talking to anybody but you Jimmy: or why you'd reckon I'd say that but not wanna be mates Janis: well you're confusing and I'm thick too sometimes Jimmy: you alright now? Jimmy: 'cause having to play 20 questions would be taking the piss a bit Janis: you don't take the piss and we will be fine Jimmy: I'm not taking the piss Jimmy: I can ask a mate if they're alright, can't I? Janis: you're making me sound like I'm well high maintenance and hysterical Jimmy: how am I? Janis: acting like I asked you 1000s instead of 2 Janis: but I am fine, despite you being a bit of a dickhead Jimmy: just said playing the games would be a pisstake when you ain't even sleeping over, nowt else Janis: that mean no midnight snacks? 💔 Jimmy: 😱😱 no Janis: we've made such a mistake Jimmy: 💔😭🎻 Janis: quick, pop on a romcom Jimmy: rather you popped back in the 🚗 Janis: me too Janis: can't really head off in the dead of night or it will be obvious it's a kidnapping Jimmy: we'll go back for her in a bit, I'll live Janis: I could come back Janis: what about if your brother wakes up though Janis: you can't kip in the 🚗 Jimmy: *should Jimmy: I'll let you in Janis: yeah? Janis: 👌 Jimmy: you gonna wait for everyone to be 😴 or what? Jimmy: I can't have your fit nan fuming at me Janis: for starters, ugh Janis: but I can just come back over Janis: though I probably should give them some ~quality family time~ before I do, keep them somewhat on side Jimmy: I don't care if you don't Jimmy: but if Libi wanted some bollocks from home that meant we needed to pick her up from there it'd be a top idea for you to stay here and a 🥇💡 for you to spread that about Janis: 😈 Janis: I knew I kept you around for a reason Jimmy: bit late to kidnap Star and chuck her back at your nans, she's too high profile now, every dickhead has seen her Janis: you are to blame for that bit Janis: but that's easy Janis: kids are idiots, or suggestible, if you wanna be nice about it Janis: I'll make her remember something she absolutely NEEDS Jimmy: you're not as thick as I look Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you aren't either but I won't spread that about Janis: reputation and everything Jimmy: gotta stay #relatable to the fans, babe Janis: #attainable some would say Jimmy: they can have the cancer I've got coming my way if they're that bothered Jimmy: not having you off me though Janis: I don't want nobody else Jimmy: none of them dickheads are good enough for you Janis: I don't care about that Janis: I just want you Jimmy: have me then Jimmy: I'm doing nowt but waiting here Janis: it's well inconvenient that I keep remembering you're hurt Jimmy: I'm alright Janis: don't worry, there's plenty we can do without injuring you further Janis: and I won't make any jokes about stamina Jimmy: don't YOU worry Jimmy: you heard, I'm alright Jimmy: nowt I can't handle, I said Janis: alright Janis: sorry Jimmy: ❌ Janis: just trying to help, not overreact though so yeah Janis: ✔ Jimmy: you did help Jimmy: tah for that, I should've 🗨 Janis: nah Janis: it's nothing Jimmy: not nowt to me Janis: whatever kind of dickhead you are Janis: no call for that Jimmy: it were my own fault, no denying that Janis: still Jimmy: you're a top mate on the first day of being one Jimmy: take your 🏆 Janis: the fact neither of us has got any others right now is really showing Janis: but fuck it Jimmy: I don't want any others Janis: me neither Janis: load of cunts Jimmy: up north, here and wherever else Ian tries to drag me next Janis: you wanna be penpals, yeah Jimmy: 🖋🩸 Jimmy: and 😭 obvs Jimmy: sweat's more your shout, being SUCH an athlete Janis: I'll send you some 🧦 Jimmy: 😍😍🤤 Janis: maybe I should charge, you're right Jimmy: got in there just in time for mates rates Janis: lucky you Jimmy: 🤞😁🤞 is right Janis: you're ridiculous Jimmy: what so you don't want my 💌? Janis: you ain't gonna write to me Jimmy: it ain't my fault I can't, Jasmine Jimmy: I'll send you daily 🎨 Janis: why are we talking about this? Jimmy: you asked Janis: oh so now you can't stop with your answers Jimmy: make up your mind, my dear Janis: shut up Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: better Janis: if we're gonna talk about anything, let's talk about now Jimmy: alright Janis: well, more specifically, in a bit, when I'll be there Jimmy: go on then Janis: what? Jimmy: 🗨 something Jimmy: that'd be how a conversation works Janis: ugh Janis: just Janis: I wanna see you Jimmy: it feels like ages since you were here Janis: I know Janis: but I don't know why Janis: it always feels like that Jimmy: I think you answered it when you said you wanna see me Janis: yeah Janis: no lie Jimmy: I get it, you know Janis: yeah, you aren't that good an actor Janis: I can tell Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: I mean, I asked for this when I picked you, but I didn't ask for this Janis: what's that supposed to mean? Jimmy: what I said Jimmy: it ain't always piss easy being in over my massive head, even if I manage to make it look it Janis: you ain't Janis: the plans going exactly to plan Janis: this is just Janis: fun, yeah Jimmy: dunno how pissed I were when I last said it but you are that, and do make owt less shit Janis: you too Janis: so let's keep doing it Jimmy: I weren't saying I don't wanna Janis: Obviously Janis: I'm coming over for a reason Jimmy: alright, don't take the piss Jimmy: I had a point somewhere, I just dunno what it were Janis: I ain't Janis: you're cute Jimmy: that sounds well pisstakey, girl Janis: but you are Janis: and I like you as a mate Janis: but no shit I wanna fuck you too Jimmy: gutted you don't wanna write to me, you're actually really good with words Janis: a pisstake Janis: but warranted Jimmy: I mean it, it were like you read my mind then and 🖋 it down Janis: as long as we're on the same 📑 I don't give a fuck how stupid it sounds Jimmy: about how cute I am? OBVS Janis: deal with it nerd Janis: you're adorable Jimmy: long as you keep it between us, call me what you like Janis: I wouldn't give me free rein like that Jimmy: as challenges go, I've accepted worse Janis: 😏 Janis: won't be calling you nothing though, gotta be well 🤫 ain't we Jimmy: whisper to me then Janis: I'll try Jimmy: you're alright, I won't make you promise Janis: I don't really wanna get kicked out Janis: and whispering leads too easily into Janis: more Jimmy: I'm not chucking you out and no other dickhead can Janis: be mildly amusing 'cos he don't know I'd just be going to sleep in his car but Jimmy: you'll be staying here, he's still being fake nice to me Janis: weird Jimmy: might be if I didn't know exactly why Janis: ? Janis: or is a stupid question Jimmy: he weren't visited by any 👻s if that's what you're asking Jimmy: have to keep his guilty conscience and pending sexual harassments rolling onto the new year Janis: Good to know that treatment is exclusively for bosses who don't pay enough or give Christmas eve off Janis: Soz to all the Sharons, you're gonna have to keep on grinning and bearing it, babe Janis: trust him to be the 'cries when he's finished' cliche Janis: cunt Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: but Sharon can come for your oscar and man tomorrow when she's got him and the place all to herself so she'll be chuffed to bits if no other other dickhead is Janis: 😬 Janis: gutted to be doing him any kind of favour, obvs Jimmy: leaving the 🐕 will 💔 them Janis: nothing like dog shit to ruin the mood Jimmy: or piss or 😭 Janis: she will be devvo if she ain't invited to join in Jimmy: 🤞 she'll be gutted enough to piss off Janis: you're so rude Janis: piss off and find you, you blatantly mean Jimmy: if that were my type I wouldn't have been after rescuing at the pub Janis: are we talking about Sharon or the dog? Jimmy: either or Jimmy: both a bit easy going with their 👅 Janis: and neither cuts their own fringe so what's the point eh Jimmy: exactly Janis: 🤓🎨😍 Jimmy: won't catch either of them in overalls that's OBVS me out Janis: 😂 don't Jimmy: them lasses probably would have a go at 🚬 with a 🖍 Janis: your brother is already cooler than you, I'd keep it quiet Jimmy: you're right, they'd kidnap him Jimmy: which is only #goals when I go on about it Janis: that's dubious at best but sure Jimmy: 😏 Janis: if you ever offered to kidnap me, maybe Janis: the 💘 is 💀 Jimmy: you come too willingly, nowt I can do about that Janis: rude Janis: try making me not wanna Jimmy: you're already on your way here or will be in a bit Jimmy: picked the wrong day to play hard to get Janis: plenty of time to turn around Jimmy: don't mean I wanna give you loads of chances Janis: fair, calling me easy again was a bold enough choice to count for multiple goes Jimmy: only compliment you've ever taken to 💘 Janis: ha Jimmy: any time you'd rather I go on about what hard work you are Jimmy: just say Janis: you poor #lads just can't win, is that what you're saying? Jimmy: it'll do Janis: 😏 Janis: just know what to say and exactly when to say it, christ Janis: not hard Jimmy: 👍 Janis: real lads do have the shitty end of the deal, tbh Jimmy: wouldn't know Jimmy: only a fake lad Janis: right Janis: got the little shorts and hat and everything Janis: cute Jimmy: what? Janis: Pinocchio Janis: the look Jimmy: Dunno him or where he gets his ootds Janis: oh Janis: awkward this isn't a homage Jimmy: bit awkward for you that he ain't my mate 'cause his dad is just your type 👴💕 Janis: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: we're all 💔 I don't have #lads to go to the pub with Janis: you ain't Janis: last time I brought it up you made that clear Jimmy: that'll by why I were in character 🤥 for you Jimmy: nowt if not supportive of your kinks, me Janis: 😱 Janis: can't believe you don't respect how important the #gurlgang is Jimmy: you can be 😱 after you've respected the 🤥📏 tah Janis: you and size Jimmy: doing you a MASSIVE favour is just the kind of lad I am Janis: wow, so thankful Jimmy: 🎁's just keep coming Jimmy: 💘'll never 💀💀💀 while I'm offering my face as a seat Janis: you might suffocate though Janis: 😳 Jimmy: top of my list for how I wanna 💀💀💀 now Jimmy: gutted I never thought of it sooner Janis: easily done Jimmy: ✔ Janis: don't ✔ like that's not a mental image that could make me crash, dickhead Jimmy: it were you who were going on about turning the car round and that like that weren't gonna make me say owt I could so you wouldn't Janis: as if I was going to Jimmy: now you won't Janis: I wasn't going to Janis: but any chance to 💀💀💀 you Jimmy: any chance to let you Janis: nothing more 💘 than that Jimmy: is that a challenge or what? Janis: you want it to be? Jimmy: do you want it to be? Janis: in what world am I going to say no? Jimmy: dunno, might be a world where you don't want your big head setting off the airbag Janis: I can handle it Jimmy: [🔥🔥 sext obvs like any chance to also kill you] Janis: I Jimmy: you Janis: no, you Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: it's your fault Janis: it feels like yours Jimmy: not to me Janis: I'm alright taking the blame for how you feel Jimmy: you can handle that an' all, yeah? Janis: you don't think I can? Jimmy: never said that Janis: Good Janis: because I can and I want to Jimmy: take it then Janis: [show up gal] Janis: I'm here Jimmy: [let her in and do that trope where you just kiss her immediately and against the door when you've closed it and while you're taking off her coat] Janis: [such a romcom forever] Jimmy: [can't and won't ever resist] Janis: [we're here for it shameless rn] Jimmy: [the question is are we saying that everyone is still up and about rn or are they asleep?] Janis: [hmm 'cos either is viable depends what vibe we want to achieve here] Jimmy: [yeah and there are pros and cons to either] Janis: [it'd be rude but potentially plot-driving/fun to have her first interaction with Ian because she hasn't yet] Jimmy: [bonus points if he's like asleep on the sofa or something because what a christmas mood and they wake him up either deliberately or accidentally] Janis: [what a dad, too full and drunk] Jimmy: [literally too perfect of a cliche not to take advantage of] Janis: [you're probably not gonna want to on purpose rn because we're in a #mood but Cass should blatantly still be up even if Bobby ain't and be like DAD JIMMYS GF IS HERE 'cos lord knows she's bored rn] Jimmy: [JJ just trying to have their makeout sesh, but I'll forgive you Cass we know you're upset because your mum isn't here and you know Jimothy and Ian have brawled because even if you didn't hear or witness it that's the only time Ian is ever nice to him so] Janis: [and you're 12 so 'nuff said on all counts] Jimmy: [mhmm, soz you gotta deal with Ian's fake niceness though Janis because that's not a mood] Janis: [ew, at least shit nan is honest is nothing else, lmao, just trying to take Jimmy's lead of the vibe he wants like are we being rude or fake nice back or what 'cos nothing in it for you beyond helping him out so] Jimmy: [would not have the strength to be fake nice to you if Bobby is not around rn because only doing it ever for his sake so have fun trying to keep it up Ian when we're just getting the bae a drink from your stash and doing our best to leave you unacknowledged like we're the deaf one] Janis: [at least we can be our usual charming selves then] Jimmy: [like we can't be rude enough he'll say you can't take the kids with you tomorrow hence we're just not saying anything because temptation to just tell him to fuck off always] Janis: [just some sly shade, easily done, also I hope you didn't come looking like a hoe 'cos assumptions that are lowkey a bit racial already being made without doing that] Jimmy: [we all know he isn't gonna like you no matter what gal, we'll get out of there as soon as we can honestly] Janis: [how dare you, but no, we would not want you to like us, we know your game hun] Jimmy: [it'll be fun af when we lowkey move you in and it's just 24/7 piss off Ian time] Jimmy: [but for now take the bottle and run lads] Janis: [soz that didn't work Cass but you know] Jimmy: [Jimothy needs this rn, soz you don't have your bf yet but you'll understand when you do] Janis: [you'll get your whole squad soon] Jimmy: [we'll all be living our best lives but for now we're just trying to survive the festive season so] Jimmy: [it makes me happy to know that Janis' arrival will have wound Twix up so you won't be able to just go back to sleep Ian] Janis: [go take that poor dog for a piss sir] Jimmy: [because we are not doing it, we're going upstairs good day] Janis: [buh-bye] Jimmy: [boy just downing however much drink was in his glass as he goes cos fml and also we've spent an age pretending we're not physically hurting which is not a mood either] Janis: [actually needed, so you can't say nothing Ian] Jimmy: [hopefully you left all your presents downstairs cos your room isn't very big and we don't need them everywhere] Janis: [and Bobby is in his bed, we gotta lay that boy down like get comfy] Jimmy: [the biggest sigh in the world, imagine] Janis: [copying him but laying down next to him carefully so we don't squash him] Jimmy: [going to write on her but we don't know what to say so we're just 👀] Janis: [doing an impression of nice Ian to try and make him lol Jimmy: [you know it's spot on but that just reminds him what a dick Ian is so we just shake our head like ffs but obvs not at you gal] Janis: [yeah, mistake to make hen but we don't know what to do, little horizontal feelsy lean like !!!] Jimmy: [we're doing it back even if it hurts because we don't care, the feelsy lean is sacred] Janis: ['he's such a twat' the reassurance he doesn't need but we're saying it so seriously] Jimmy: [can't help genuinely smiling because you know Ian is the kind of person who everyone thinks is just such a standard dad and we obvs didn't think the bae would fall for it but there's always gonna be a part of us thinking he's right and we're wrong so the relief] Janis: [we all know the kind, just parenting you, psh, but we smiling back 'cos love to see it] Jimmy: [😍 because she's cute and we're in love] Janis: [gotta kiss him soft] Jimmy: [take your excuse to be soft because we know you both like it] Janis: [a good excuse because we are not trying to injure you boy forreal, but the restraint is a killer lmao] Jimmy: [the perfect excuse for you to show her how good you are with your hands even if you don't remember/are pretending you don't remember that bit of the drunken christmas eve convo because you can keep your distance a lil bit more but still kill her] Janis: [enjoy trying not to die gal, 'cos whilst making Ian overhear you is funny, waking the kid is not so shh] Jimmy: [at least he's deaf so you've got less chance than if you were at mcvickers house and Libi was just like oh hey, speaking of the caravan when you're snowed in is gonna be hilarious casually no privacy ever] Janis: [that's true, how do you wake up a deaf person except for rudely shaking them like HELLO also how do they know when there's a fire/any other kind of alarm, questions I have but are not entirely relevant rn, won't make Cass hate us that much already lmao, 'cos honestly, need an ally in you when Skerries alone] Jimmy: [I've seen vibrating ones that they can like put under their pillow and shit which is slightly less rude than just being like OI but yeah, we can win Cass over during this unexpectedly longer trip than we thought we'd be on] Jimmy: [but for now have a drink and recover gal] Janis: [a good idea, ang would like that] Janis: [lowkey pouty like you can't immediately return the favour but you simply cannot soz] Jimmy: [doing the pouty lip bite thing won't help but we simply must nevertheless] Janis: ['that's illegal'] Jimmy: [a lil lol which we're pretending doesn't hurt because we're fine] Janis: [obviously we notice 'cos in what world aren't we 'should really bandage you up' and looking like do you have any in or do we need to get that tomorrow] Jimmy: [🤨 because it's such a foreign concept that anyone actually cares about us that we can't hide our genuine surprise/confusion and then we have to go look because we're like this is awkward how dare she care about me, let's say there is so you can chuck them at her] Janis: ['that's what you need to do' like he's just thinking it's bullshit advice, unravel some of that bandage after it's thrown at you 'it'll heal faster' and gesturing for him to take his top off 'can be a mummy for a bit, ghost boy'] Jimmy: [obvs gonna throw his top at her as well because always] Janis: [pretending it's so gross like ew] Jimmy: [equally as obvs then getting all up in her grill like if you thought that was gross you'll HATE this] Janis: [the pretence of being #horrified is so thinly veiled, but focus gal, gotta bandage him up as tightly as you can so it's more comfortable for him, the casual intimacy, bye, pretend we do not notice] Jimmy: [what a mcvickers-esque moment] Janis: [truly] Jimmy: [do a ✔ on her in the same place as the bandage is like okay job done and because you do feel better for it and most importantly just shamelessly wanna touch her bare skin whenever we can] Janis: [dramatically stop breathing for a sec 'yeah?'] Jimmy: [kiss her as dramatically to show her you can without it hurting as much as it did before] Janis: [can't even fake mad about it] Jimmy: [interrupt this makeout sesh for long enough to casually pour some of whatever this bottle is into her mouth because it's always a saucy mood and she has earned it by nursing you back to health] Janis: [too much of a mood frankly we're so about it, also nice throwback to literally last night what is time] Jimmy: [gonna have to let y'all hook up because this boy has no chill but just be really careful please] Janis: [just let him lead and you should be fine] Jimmy: [gotta be soft so that's a whole new mood in itself because you have not yet] Janis: [feeding him drink in the same manner after but that likewise feels really soft 'cos basically doing it like it's medicine at this point like you gotta, then removing whatever clothes you got left on to get in bed] Jimmy: [shameless snuggling will ensue because we will play tetris if needs be until we find a position that's comfortable for you both to be in] Janis: [drawing the ✔ on him when we're settled but also a ❓] Jimmy: [taking her hand and turning it into a 👍 and then giving it a lil thank you squeeze before adding his own ? to ask if she's alright too] Janis: [snuggling down as a response] Jimmy: [a happy sigh compared to the dramatic one earlier] Janis: ['Jimmy-' but stopping 'cos don't know what you think you're gonna say hen] Jimmy: [the softest 'what?' ever] Janis: [just looking and LOOKING for a hot sec 'merry christmas'] Jimmy: [obvs we're saying it back even though we know that's not what she was gonna say] Janis: [you better stop] Jimmy: [will draw 😁 on you is it a pisstake/ are we this buzzing that the bae is here and tomorrow we can leave/do we wanna just touch her always/is it all of these] Janis: [gonna say we got lost on that one so we're just like what are you talking about boy/tickled like oi] Jimmy: [doing it again more slowly and deliberately so it'll tickle more and she might get it so we don't have to do it with our face if she doesn't lol] Janis: [just loling like staph 'I'm either gonna fall out or fuck you up here' but not mad, obvs] Jimmy: [hold onto her so she can't fall out and that's ofc the only reason] Janis: [random but have we ever said whether the caravan is 2 or 3 bedrooms?] Jimmy: [I don't think we've ever specified but I assume it's on the bigger side because mcvickers own it and all the fam ever] Janis: [let's go with 3 then, a double and 2 singles, makes sense, usually have a way to make beds in the lounge too] Jimmy: [I'll try and remember that for all the other people and gens it affects lol] Janis: [write that down boo lol]

[darks-ink]

Play Your Part - 1

Chapter 1: Where The Strong Survive

[cover]

Here's my new multi-chapter, Play Your Part! Currently planned to be 6 chapters, and somewhere around 20.000 words, I'm guessing? Depends on how long the chapters will be, of course.

Anyway, this fic is based on @cordria‘s A World Tipped on its Head, and this first chapter especially draws pretty strongly from that one-shot. From what I've seen it seems normal that people just copy-paste the original as their first chapter but tbh I don't like that much because the styles are usually way different. Also I wanted to tweak some details so. I hope that that's not, like, rude or anything!

As always, weekly updates go up every Saturday! I might change it for the last 2 chapters or so because I want to start posting Weirdward on the 31st but I'll see how I solve that when we get there.

[first] [previous][next] [AO3] [FFnet]

Danny rushed down the street, his eyes cast downwards and his breath loud and raspy even to his own ears. The pavement sped by underneath his feet. It wasn’t fast enough.

“Stupid alarm clock,” he muttered under his breath. Pushed himself just that little quicker. He might not like school, but that didn’t mean that he wanted to be late.

“Need a lift?”

The unexpected voice made him flinch, although he did his best to hide it. Instead he glanced over his shoulder, watching Sam melt into view. She was in her ghost form, her hair white and flickering and her eyes a vivid cyan. Bright, glowing, and sparkling with dark humor.

“No,” he grunted, trying to ignore his tired legs to pick up the pace even further. Somewhere he was glad that it was Sam who found him and not Tucker. No matter how well meaning the boy was, the last thing Danny wanted was to be picked up and flown to school against his will.

She blinked at him for moment, and in the time it took for her to process this, he got a few dozen feet ahead. Then she nodded and drifted down to the ground.

Bright ectoplasmic energy whirled around her. White hair sunk down under the effect of gravity, dyed black once more. Cyan eyes darkened back to violet, and white clothes shifted back to black.

Sam ran a hand through her hair, straightened her clothes, and then sprinted to catch up with him again.

“You’re gonna be late,” Danny panted, suppressing a grin as she joined him.

“Are you kidding?” She laughed. “I can outrun you any day of the week.”

He rolled his eyes, fighting down the retort that came automatically. If she chose to run with him and be late as well, well… who was he to argue? Instead he sent her a lopsided grin, determined to at least keep up with her.

Skidding to a crashing halt in front of his locker, Danny started whirling the combination lock, rushing to get to class in time. The bell rung, however, signaling that he was officially late for his first class.

He jumped in surprise at the loud noise, losing track of how many turns he had taken to unlock his locker. Sam, who could simply use her intangibility to get her stuff, already had her books.

She drifted back across the hallway, her signature scowl back on her face. She then slumped against the lockers next to him.

“We’re late,” she said unnecessarily.

“I got that,” he answered her through gritted teeth. He tried to focus on unlocking his lock, frustrated that he had had to start over.

“Mr. Fenton! Miss Manson!”

This second unexpected voice had the same effect as the first; Danny started so badly that he almost levitated. He spun around, searching for the origin of the voice.

The hallway appeared empty, however. Completely vacated. Danny knew it wasn’t, though. Mr. Lancer, the half-ghost vice-principal, had to be floating invisibly somewhere in it.

He fixed his eyes on the spot he guessed Mr. Lancer would be in. He had no way of knowing, and he really didn’t care except that he had gotten caught by his least favorite teacher once again. It would certainly mean another detention.

The overweight teacher appeared mere moments later. Hands propped against his hips and his eyes blazing a bright red. “Late for school again!” he scoffed, pulling out a small notebook to write their names down. “I expected better from you, Miss Manson.”

“I felt like running,” Sam muttered back. Her arms were still crossed, her body slumped against the lockers.

“Such potential in you.” Lancer shook his head, clearly disappointed, as he finished jotting down their names. “It never fails to surprise me that a child from parents like yours doesn’t flourish in a modern school setting.”

Sam’s eyes narrowed, bright cyan sparking in the darker violet. She’d never been particularly fond of authority figures, and Mr. Lancer’s tendency to compare her to her parents had put him in her bad graces.

Danny, while he heartily agreed with her, remained quiet. He just watched as the teacher took his eyes off of the book, fixing Sam with a glare of his own. He had no intention to get involved, no matter how much it hurt him in his soul to let the others walk all over him.

He wasn’t half-ghost. He didn’t stand a chance against them. And so he had no intention to jump into a situation that could get him killed.

Because, while Sam was normally very considerate of the difference in power between them, she was too riled up now. She could kill him and not even realize until it was too late.

In the end, Mr. Lancer broke the staring contest first. His gaze wandered over to Danny. “And you, Mr. Fenton. Although I’m not sure what to expect out of a mere human,” he paused for a moment, making it clear how dirty of a word he found it, “I still expect you to be at school on time. Detention for you, and I hope you learn your place in our world someday. Miss Manson, get to class.”

The teacher faded back into invisibility, and Danny took a deep steadying breath. Noticed that his hands were clenched into fists, and wondered when that’d happened.

He hated that he got more detentions that anyone else in the school. It was, without a doubt in his mind, because he was the only human in the school. It might be against the law to discriminate based on age, race, gender… but species wasn’t on the list.

“Fantastic,” he muttered, loosening his fists again. Turned back to his locker, even though he needed a few moments more before attempting to unlock it again.

“Come on, Danny,” Sam said after a moment. Her voice was still tense, and cyan still danced in her eyes. “Let’s get to class before you get into trouble again.”

The emphasis on the ‘you’ didn’t go past him. And while her half-smile and elbow nudge suggested that she had meant it playfully, it just felt like a sour reminder to him.

“What’s on the list of torture for today?” he asked, trying to get his mind off of that topic again. There was no point, anyway. There was nothing he could do to change things. Instead he set about to make his third attempt at unlocking his locker.

“Twenty new reasons to stare at the sole human on the planet, either in distraught pity or in discriminatory frustrated anger.” Her smile was halfhearted but understanding. “Also known as another biased English lesson on the twenty greatest halfa authors of all time, making doubly sure to ignore and/or taunt the human greats such as Shakespeare, Melville, and Doyle.”

Danny sighed gustily as his locker finally opened. “Great.”

“You gonna skip again? I’m sure Tucker will record the whole lesson for you to watch later.”

“Nah.” He shook his head, grabbing the books from his locker. “Ever since Lancer figured out how to duplicate, you can’t hide from him. He can be teaching his lesson and hunting you down at the same time. Skulker’s got nothing on him. Skipping is just too much work now.”

“To class, then?”

He hesitated one last second. Then he slammed his locker shut and nodded. “To class.”

“… and that is the main reason why Arthur Prachet far surpassed his human counterpart during that era. Also a major player in the rise of Prachet’s work was the fact that Shakespeare’s answer to Prachet’s novel rhyme-scheme, the insufficiently thought-out and frankly annoying iambic pentameter, never seemed to catch on. The fact that only two of the human’s works survive to this day is surely a testament to how dreary and drawn-out the human culture had gotten by that point in history.”

Danny tuned out the teacher, only looking away briefly to add another tally to the top of his paper – the forty-eighth of that day. Having finished this task, he fixed his eyes back on the whiteboard behind the teacher. He wouldn’t get scolded for not paying attention, anyway; this particular teacher in fact seemed to prefer it if Danny did absolutely nothing.

And, well. Danny was glad for a chance to not write down every detail of the lesson. As a result, his English notebook was full of blank pages, marred only by the tally marks at the top of every page.

When the teacher managed to slip in another slur against the human species, Danny shifted and added another tally to his page. Wondered, quietly, how many more the halfa could fit in a single lesson. So far the record had been fifty-three, but with almost 15 minutes left, it didn’t look too good for the record.

He let his eyes drift towards the windows, letting himself sink deeper into his thoughts. ‘Really’, he thought bitterly, ‘everyone in my family is half-ghost. Doesn’t that mean that I am one too, kind of? Even if I don’t have any powers, that doesn’t make me human, right?’

Even in his own mind, the word ‘human’ had sounded like a dirty insult. The word had been so deeply drenched by negative connotations that, even in the comfort of his own thoughts, it sounded vile.

With a huff, he picked up his stream of thoughts again. ‘I mean. If two dogs have a puppy that looks like a kitten, it’s still a dog, no matter what it looks like or can do. I just wish…’

A ball of paper hit him in the head, and Danny jerked up. Send a glare at the offending piece of paper, absentmindedly adding another tally to his paper – the teacher had surely gotten in another insult while Danny had been distracted, just because he was in the room.

He unwrinkled the paper, quickly reading the scrawled words – Betcha wish you coulda phased through that – and scowled. He raised his head to fix Dash – the obvious sender – with said scowl, pointless as it was. Without the glowing eyes a halfa would sport, he simply couldn’t hope to reach the same level of intimidation.

Still, like it wasn’t bad enough that he had to listen to teacher drone on and on about the brilliance of half-ghosts and their powers, his fellow students had to add to whole thing. Like he had chosen to be the only pure human on the whole damn planet!

Dash just grinned back, flashing his eyes a menacing red. He ripped another piece of paper out of his notebook, scribbled a message, and balled it up. Then he lobbed it through the air, forcing Danny to make the difficult choice of what to do with it.

On one hand, he could catch it and find out what Dash had threatened him with. On the other, he could bat it off into a corner and ignore it for forever.

In the end he didn’t have to pick. A ball of cyan light intercepted it before it reached him, disintegrating the paper into ashes and dust.

“Hey!” Dash called out. His eyes turned red fully as they darted around, looking for the creator of the ectoblast.

Both Dash and Danny found her simultaneously – not that it was hard. Sam lounged in the back of the class, her eyes still bright and sparks of matching cyan still writhing around her hand.

“You stupid--”

“No energy manipulation in this classroom!” the teacher shouted, interrupting the incoming fight. Then, unbelievably, he followed it up with, “Fenton, detention!”

Danny’s head whipped around. “What for?!”

“Stop instigating my class.” Lancer flared his eyes red, warning.

“But--”

Danny bit his tongue, cutting off the retort. It made no sense, but he couldn’t win this confrontation.

It wasn’t fast enough, though. Red energy sparkled around the furious half-ghost teacher, as bright as his eyes.

Having no desire to get into this fight, Danny slunk out of his seat and beat a quick retreat from the room before the situation got worse. Sure, the teacher probably wouldn’t actually attack him, but, well. Everyone knew that sometimes it was hard to control ghost powers, especially if you’re angry.

And the last thing Danny wanted was to get evaporated over something so stupid. So ordinary.

Still, he couldn’t help but feel a brief pang of disappointment. The record for number of human slurs spoken in a single class would remain unbroken.

“Danny, sweetie,” his mom said when he finally came home from yet another day in hell – sorry, school – as she pushed her goggles up on her forehead, “it’s not your fault. There’s nothing wrong with you.”

Danny groaned, dropping into a chair in his parents’ basement lab. “Tell that to the teachers and the other students.”

“You’ll get your powers eventually, honey.” She smiled at him. “Slow development runs in your father’s side of the family, you know. Jack didn’t get his powers until he was eleven…”

“I’m fifteen.” A scowl found its way to his face once more.

“Which isn’t unheard of,” she lied smoothly. “You’re a Fenton.”

Danny rolled his eyes. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“You come from a long line of powerful half-ghosts. Before you know it, you’ll wake up and you’ll be just like your great-grandfather, the--”

“--great halfa explorer who helped conquer the new world from the human barbarians,” Danny finished dully. They had had this exact conversation dozens of times, and he had practically memorized it by now. “Has it ever occurred to you that I might never get ghost powers?”

She blinked at him. “Of course you’ll get your powers. You just need to think positively.”

“Yeah, sure.” He shrugged, figuring he might as well go along. His parents were both stubborn to no end; if they wanted to believe that he would still get ghost powers, there was nothing he could do to change their minds.

“In the meantime, look at this.” Her aura brightened slightly as she picked up her latest device. “It’s called the ‘Fenton Human Hearer’.”

It was placed in Danny’s hands, a grin on her face. “Jack and I know that there are pockets of humans left in this world. If we ever find one, this will turn their incomprehensible mutterings into something we can understand!”

Danny raised a skeptical eyebrow, eyes on her instead of the invention. “Don’t they speak English?”

A whir from the machine. Then, “Don’t they speak English? Fear me.”

Now he dropped his eyes to the gadget. From the corner of his eyes, he saw his mom do the same. Maddie shrugged, then plucked it out of his hands. “I’ve never met a true human. I wouldn’t know.”

“I don’t count?” he asked, not sure how he felt about the implication. Was it because he was better than a human, or just because she refused to concern the possibility?

“You’ll get your powers,” she said with conviction. “You’re a halfa – a Fenton.”

He nodded quietly, his unasked question thus answered. She still believed that he would get his powers, even if he was years and years past even the latest of late bloomers.

It didn’t make sense to him. Why keep denying it? Somehow, against all reason and expectations, he wasn’t a half-ghost. He hadn’t inherited any of his parents’ powers, not even a shred of their ectoplasmic sides.

Consumed by these thoughts, he silently watched his mom tidy her side of the lab. His parents were constantly working on all kinds of inventions, and thus new pieces of technology appeared and disappeared on a daily basis in the cramped basement. Most remained unpopular, however; his parents’ obsession with humans made their inventions largely useless to the rest of their half-ghost society.

Maddie paused in her work, picking up a small, strange-looking necklace. She studied it for a moment, a crease in her brow. “Where did…” She shook her head. “I wish Jack would tell me when he gets new things. Danny, can you put this on Jack’s workbench for me?”

Nodding, he slipped out the chair again. Took the necklace from her hands, turning to head towards the messier side of the lab.

But, just as her fingers slipped from the chain, a surge of energy flooded throughout the lab. It was powerful enough for even Danny to feel it, the hum of pure power in the air.

He saw his mom twist around, her eyes widening in surprise and fear, glowing vivid chartreuse. Similarly colored ectoplasm formed around her hands, as if to fight this unseen enemy.

It was the last thing Danny saw before blindingly white light wrapped around him. He screamed in terror, feeling the energy ripping at his body, and could do nothing but clutch the strange necklace to his chest.

Then, blissfully, he passed out.

[fiire-bcrn]

alias  - siege.

age   -  twenty-two

pronouns  -  she/her  .

timezone  -  est .

favorite  artist  -  solo - p!nk, sia; band - fall out boy, onerepublic, imagine dragons  . those are just the most frequent flyers, I listen to everything from electro-swing to german pop so.

favorite  movie  -  too many to list but basically anything superheroes or sci-fi/fantasy like the x-men, the mcu, star trek, stardust, willow, ladyhawke, knights tale, etc.

favorite  fairy  tale  -  twelve dancing princesses  was always one of my favourites but I obsessively devoured the andrew lang fairy books growing up. .

favorite  color  -  green  .

character(s)  you  play  -  sanderson mansnoozie, diaval corvus, chernabog caim, robin loxley .

got v long so the rest is under the cut !

about  the  characters  -  sandy : he’s sweet bubbly bean, communicates mostly through sign due to his own language having died out. unseelie of the autumn court but older than any of them by a longshot due to having been made a guardian. only wants to bring the best to the world. in a constant fight with his darker side, a side all of his brethren have. Pitch is his biggest regret. The way he turned on him, he really wishes he’d found a way to make him a part of the team, eternal osrizization was not part of what he’d thought would go down. robin : suave and almost childish at times, robin was raised in his youngest days amongst the poorest, without an inkling whom his father was, only with his mother as a friend and companion. however when she died at the moment he found himself alone. who should come sweeping in but his birth father a lord in need of his heir. the man thought to turn robin into the epitome of a noble by lavishing everything on him. unfortunately for him all the fancies and fripperies instead appalled robin and he left his father’s home to live with the lowest in the thieves forest where he started to help build a community of those spurned by society. currently he cares for the child of one of his fallen men while adjusting to an injury recently obtained during a failed rescue. diaval : born on bald mountain as a natural shapeshifter, diaval never knew his parents nor even if they had bothered to give him a name. in fact he might have perished an unwanted infant had some unknown man not decided for some reason to care for him, for a few years anyway. he also never cared enough to give him a name, referring to him as ‘boy’. however at the age of five the lad found himself alone once again, but this time with scared villagers fearing him for his abilities, which is how he got his name, a word that means ‘devil’. meant as an insult, he started to wear it instead as a badge. if he could not make them accept him he’d live off their fear. tales of crows bringing bad luck started but in fact it was all the work of the young shapeshifter who never was allowed to fit in. along the way he discovered one person who not only put up with him but found his skill to be useful and wonderful. maleficent. chernabog : once a daemon of comparatively benevolent nature, chernabog was spurned by his species and turned from hell for being too ‘soft’ upon the mortal inhabitants of the world. desperate to win his right back into his home, he now stops at nothing to prove himself a true bringer of evil, everything and everyone he sees as a way of furthering his own ends. the one and only acception being his two dogs, whose company he enjoys. not that he would ever let any soul know this.

wanted  connections  -  sandy : the guardians ! all of them ! we already know he adores jack ( we luff u ) and he’d get along well with toothiana’s cheerful demeanor, though he’d most likely dislike north and bunnymund a bit more. but not wholly. pitch ! he greatly regrets everything that happened with pitch black. i feel he’d have spent the past while lowkey trying to make it up, and barely holds a grudge for the whole arrow to the back thing. friends ! more unseelie, maybe some fae from the summer or spring courts for some strain. really anyone tbh, sandy loves people ! a love interest ! give mah boi a luffly boi to love ! must be able to speak in sign language or at least willing to learn ! unaffiliated or hero would work best, but a villain who has doubts about their alignment might work as well ! robin : maid marian ! totally open to this being a ship, or a broship, an exes plot, anything really ! just give him the spitfire that kept him sane through some trying times ! the merry men ! all those dedicated rascals we all love ! the big strong john little ( i have a plot with him specifically i’d love to talk about ! ), the irascable will scarlett ! the talented alan-a-dale ! maybe an oc merry man or merry woman ! enemies ! the sheriff of nottingham and/or guy of gisborne ! maybe a villain from another tale who has it out for robin ! estranged family who sees him as a threat of sorts could most certainly be fun ! diaval : the old man on the mountain ! this would be the an who took the time to care for a child who was not his, but never even gave him a name before disappearing once again, whether by his own choice or due to external forces ! could be of any allegiance, only necessities are old enough to have been thought of as a man by a five year old and have lived on bald mountain at some point ! so much potential for this connection ! friends ! lets face it, this boy could use some people who dont hate and fear him for a change, especially ones closer to his own age ! probably people who love mischief as much as he does ! enemies ! you don’t get to be maleficent’s right hand man by being nice to everyone and he is certainly on bad terms with at least a handful of people ! the biffle ! this would be none other than maleficent herself ! i see them as sort of platonic soulmates, of sorts ! always been close to each other and always have each  others backs ! chernabog : enemies ! obviously when plotting the downfall of a whole world you come across people who disagree with your views and want to see you destroyed as much as you want to see the same done to them ! the welcome annoyance ! someone who pushes all his buttons in an almost fearless way that he almost respects and secretly finds a refreshing change of pace ! just be careful not to push it too far…. a crush ( maybe ? ) ! someone who maybe is attracted to his power and dominance over the world ! or maybe they see the softer daemon he used to be even though he has long tried to quash that side ! i dunno exactly how this would go tbh, but it’d be fun to explore !

goals  for  your  character  -  for all of them i’d love to see how it affects their alliances and morality. robin, i could see how the effects war has on the lower class could push him to be slightly less heroic. or sandy may find his darker side pulling him to do unsavoury things despite his best efforts. perhaps diaval will meet someone from the hero side willing to accept him as much or seemingly more than maleficent, making him question loyalties. and chernabog may yet return to being the more benevolent version of himself he once was ( i doubt it but maybe ).

favorite  tasks  -  anything character development or worldbuilding, tbh !

favorite  events  -  got one word for you. m a s q u e r a  d e ! there was also one i did once where people were implanted with memories of others and something like that could be interesting !

any  ideas  - just keep doing what you're doing !  .

anything  else  - just v excited to be back ! .

[icharchivist]

Lavi learning about the abuses Allen went through would be interesting in adding another layer to his insight into humanity. A part of Lavi's bookman hard cold logic mentality could rationalize the extremes rhe Order committed for survival (not that he'd like it). But the people who hurt Allen, at and before the circus, don't have that excuse. They really would fit Lavi's stupid and violent view of humanity he had pre Order/Allen. But unlike Lavi, Allen still choose to see love and goodness-

2 in the end. He saw the loving bond between Mana and his dog. He recieved the warmth Allen the dog gave him and mourned his death openly. He felt guilty for hurting Mana and wanted to make up for it. He also still wanted to get and give love despite not having any memory of experiencing it pre Mana. I think that's what confounds Lavi the most. Lavi's seen evil and just made himself cold/indifferent to everyone non bookman. In Lavi's eyes, Allen can see past the ugliness and love what needs to-

3 be loved. No matter how much it hurts, Allen still walks forward. I think Lavi does wish he could have done that too. It's just interesting because Lavi could have been the type to resent Allen for his kindness and outlook. Instead the first sign of Allen being different made him change his whole outlook. Like he had become that little 6 yr old again venturing into new territory. He'd probably feel that way again if he knew just how horrible Allen's past was and how much that drove Allen.

YES exactly! 

This was exactly what I meant in a previous ask about “cruelty hiding behind a purpose” bc in war this is what you see.Of course there are sadistic scary people who are only there to hurt people, but they will all hide behind whatever purpose the war has to offer. Even Lavi being tortured atm by a brunch of sadistic genocidal guys is litterally for the purpose to get information. 

But hwat happened to Allen had no rhyme nor reason and it is not exactly the kind of suffering Lavi would be used by. Humanity sucks, yeah, he’s seen it in wars, but battlefields is not always the best way to get to know humanity per se. Sure, humans who keep themselves into those wars - those politics who send people to die for their battles, the hopeful who die young, the horrors, the people who take advantage of it, the people who do horrors trying to stop the war “end justifying the means” type, the collateral damages and how civilians can respond with fear, while others may show out their selfishness - all of this is a specific set of humanity that is nothing alike Anything Allen even went through. 

And it’s ofc not saying that those wars weren’t traumatic to start with don’t get me wrong, I think that for Lavi to cope with such emotional distachement those wars had been plenty traumatic in their own way. what i mean is that, Lavi is prepared for the cruelty that comes with war. Not those that comes with the regular world.

The thing is that Lavi had to learn to cope very early and his exemple was Bookman who told him to shut off his emotions. I mean, Lavi got wounded by a straybullet on a battlefield when he was 7, one year after he started his recording duty. Even if Bookman is a loving father figure as much as possible, the uprising of the Bookmen is Not Healthy. Especially not for a child who has to process countless of horrors. 

So to shut down his emotions seemed the normal course of action to take. And from tunning down your emotions you lack your ability to care, by keeping your heart under locks you don’t let anything touches you. 

And... it’s interesting because without Mana we can’t know how Allen would have been. He would have been bitter perhaps. When you look at last chapter, it seems like fighting with Cosimo wasn’t a first time thing considering how quick Allen was to react - yet you can see that Allen still had a confrontational behavior, he didn’t let things happen to him. He had to be beaten into submission and apologizing and then emotionally abused in order to keep him back in track. Yet we still see him refusing his situation, rejecting it. Even as a kid. He was full of anger but he didn’t accept it. Even when he was forced to.

Having Mana and the dog had been salvator for Allen. Some people he could pour his hearts onto, people who would give him warmth, people who would make sure his feelings were valid. After all even we do have a scene of Mana helping Allen process his grief toward the dog.  And Allen was young enough to still form himself around that.

There’s something i’ve been told in therapy that the environment you were at at 7yo  can change your entiere development as of then, since it’s when your brain really is starting to try to make sense of the world around you in more personal details. 

Lavi was on battlefield at that point, seeing people dying and dying and dying. Allen was at that damn circus, with cruel people, but he met Mana and started to travel with him right at that time.  And they had to give logic to their life experience so far, both of them. 

tbh I wonder if Bookman slightly dotting Lavi when he was in convalescence might not have made it impossible for Lavi to be completely emotionless because of that one spurr of love Bookman let in (even if then Bookman had always reproached him the thing in question for emotional distance as well). But as it was, Lavi had to make sense of the war around him. That was his primary focus. Hell if he had been in nothing but wars, how much does he even know about common life and suffering not war related?

And Allen saw all the cruelty of humanity, but he found something that genuinely made him happy, a warmth and optimism he wasn’t quite receptive to at first until he found himself at peace in it. He rationalized his life thus far and realized this, this is the kind of behavior that makes me happy. And he clang to that, and with Mana’s tehn sudden death and the akumatization Allen felt guilty about, it was important for Allen to carry that happiness on, knowing how much this had changed his life for the better. 

And like you say, that’s exactly things that could surprise Lavi because Lavi never had any opportunity to see that sort of love. I mean... Bookman is one thing, but it doesn’t change too that Mana was just as much a stranger to Allen than anyone in that Circus. If anything it proved Allen that humanity might not be that bad, actually, since that random human could take care of him. On the other hand we have Lavi who only ever could count on Bookman - and we know that he considered Bookmen above humanity. Bookman was still someone who had a duty to protect Lavi. Mana, as far as Allen knew, didn’t. 

And this adds too to the shock of thinking Mana only cared for Allen because of Nea, because the whole reason that it could have given Allen’s faith toward strangers, toward humanity, was that Mana was a stranger who still treated him kindly. The moment Mana had ulterior motives, this unconditional kindness Allen built himself upon wavers. Because for Allen it’s essential that a person who had no reason to care about him ended up extending him this kindness, and that’s how he ended up living his life.

I don’t specifically think Lavi would ever really think that he should have approched the situation like Allen did because there’s a lot of specifics entering in count in their specific trauma and how they coped with it.

But it is still telling, that for Lavi the horrors of wars became so nomrla, so usual, so easy to cope with, that the horrors Allen had been through are... a complete different affair. And to see that above all of that Allen took the approach of being kind, no matter what, to always be extending a hand for those in needs... It would be puzzling. How does on react to suffering this way? 

At war Lavi might have ended up believing there’s no point trying to save people, it’s a lost cause, if they don’t die now they will die later on the battlefield. And if they survive they will have the weigh of this pointless war on their shoulders.But Allen’s salvation came from a person caring. It wasn’t life or death. Saving someone there would help create a better future.

And honestly, Lavi did resent Allen when he first meet him, albeit it was because of the whole “that idiot called an akuma and is so lucky with his stupid eye and he doesn’t realize none of us can actually trust each other because the enemy is everywhere”. Lavi was extremely patronizing in his first appearance. He thought Allen was lucky. Until Krory’s castle. 

The more Lavi manages to unveil about what kind of person Allen is the more he realizes how wrong he had been the first time around. That his desire to save others at all cost wasn’t naivety but hyperawareness of what suffering was like. 

Allen did show his kindness the first thing around Lavi. he was soft. He actually showed pain at the idea of killing others humans, to whcih Lavi just said “what a baby.” Allen had shown his desire to help too all step into the Krory’s arc when they had to approach Krory. It’s just that Lavi brushed it off as naivety. Until he realized how wrong he was.

And especially, Lavi had seen that Allen was right in his love. I mean in the following arcs Lavi and Krory are super close and it shows they’ve become friends. Had Allen not taken the time to help Krory this friendship wouldn’t have existed. Lavi can witness everyday how Allen’s words improved Krory’s life for the better. When Allen was dead, Lavi could still see the direct impact of Allen’s kindness by his side. Hell, Krory saved Lavi’s life on that damn boat too. Had Allen not talked Krory out of suicide none of this would have happened.

I think comparing him to a child again is a good move bc it showcase a lot his internal fight with his younger self crying at him for taking different steps, for caring so much about others. In order to move on Lavi should put back in perspective how he had dealt with life so far, and Allen had always been a guiding light in that purpose.

To know the horrors Allen had gone through would already be a complete different spin on suffering than anything Lavi have ever experienced. 

And the kindness Allen showed, that is already so strange to Lavi, yet so encouraging, is just all the more powerful.

I think Lavi would realize that. Especially with how much Allen’s kindness as its own power was the very thing he sneered upon until he realized it was the most important thing Allen ever gave out.

So his reactions to the horrors... I don’t see him handling it well. But i do think it would be important.

.... and I rambled a lot again i’m sorry but this is a topic that really fascinates me ahdjkf

[rockmywings]

Korean Crime TV Series Review#2: VOICE (보이스)

THE MAIN CHARACTERS TRIO:

Lead Male (Moo Jinhyuk “Mad Dog”): A veteran detective from Serious Crime Unit, being demoted as a leader of Golden Time Team under Emergency Call Department. 

Lead Female (Kang Kwonjoo “Kang Center”): A profiler who has super hearing ability, The chief of Emergency Call Department.

second lead male Main Antagonist (Mo Taegu “Mr. Mo”): CEO of Sungwun Express, an upper-classman. Psychopath.

PLOT:

Main: To catch the criminal who has murdered both Mad Dog’s wife and Kang Center’s dad and who also committed several crimes. 

Sub: To save a life who is in crucial danger from their emergency call.

OFFICIAL ENGLISH TRAILER:

REVIEW BY GENRES:

1) Various Crimes: There are Serial Killer, Kidnapping/Abduction, Child Abuse, Gangster, Illegal Immigrant, Stalker, Human Organ Trafficking, Corrupted Company, Corrupted Police--so complete. The series touches from individual crime to organizational crime, from marginal society to upper-class community. And the gruesome of crime scene places us in reality how horror the real crime is, why they are deserved to be censored in blur like News do on TV Channel (although it’s bothersome to me who use to see gore scenes in The Walking Dead and violence in any US Crime TV Series). I like how Golden Team looks so smart along with Kang Center herself as the profiler and with a hacking skilled officer to get any information. Though, there’s one staff whose multi-language ability is seriously wasted because what she did most times are similar to the hacker, as she also seeks information through internet. However, because our protagonists come from Emergency Call Center, we see how Serious Crime Unit are always outsmarted, making us wonder if they’re a bit competent in investigating while this one should be their expertise. For example, there’s no forensic or CCTV investigation ever shown here but somehow it makes sense because all of the victims who died here are under the main antagonist’s control who could ask to be covered while Golden Team successfully rescues all victims who made the emergency call.

2) Horror Elements: A part of the success of any popular scary movie is the perfect killer. There’s no other character more interesting in the show rather than the killer himself and I can guarantee Mo Taegu would steal your attention in every of his appearance. Let me explain it: A man wearing a black raincoat with face covered behind hoodie but his devilish grin is walking closer in calm steps, a sinister voice with a gravel-like quality of his jaw cracks then strikes the fear of a tormented fresh-faced woman before brutally murdering her--that’s your first impression of him. But, it wasn’t just a typical random unfortunate person whom a serial killer encounter in the dark street with certain modus operandi, nope!! More the killer is introduced, you realize he’s a type who could appear right in front of your door or behind the window creepily, making a hiss like a dinosaur to enter your room whether he decides to kill or just intentionally scare you--we’d find he did it at least 4-5 times in the series!!! (and my fave is when Kwonjoo met his eyes behind the lookout lens of her door) And behind the mask, there’s a rich, smart, and classy-typed businessman wearing an elegant suit with charming face who enchants everyone--so charismatic. Well, there is one episode that doesn’t really makes sense when he’s brutally murdering Madam Fantasia off-screen. The body is nowhere to be found in the building while he clearly didn’t have enough time to hid it in his car unnoticeable, laundry his suit (I mean, look at how much the blood he spread on floor and wall while he killed her not under his raincoat), peeking on Kang Center who has arrived 10 minutes after the phone call only to see her reaction finding his crime scene, then come back to meeting room he left before. But fuck off the logic, once again, this is horror show; let’s enjoy every killing scene of every bone he’s crushing using his kettlebell, or grotesque art of blood he painted on the wall citing Bible quote, or when he keeps the body wrapped in his house then doing bloodbath like Elizabeth Bathory, it’s all horrifyingly entertaining. Don’t forget that his victims also made a bad move tropes to meet him and give us a death flag. As if it wasn’t enough, Taegu also has some hallucination things, how creepy it is when he stared at the policeman in the car like a supernatural horror and when he’s being murdered on his mind like a zombie scene. Although those all aren’t enough to scare me, I’m sure there are some audiences who maintain to keep watching this show with eyes peeking behind their fingers but you can’t leave it yet to see who he’d murder next and who’d be survived. You’d be surprised when it reveals he commits more crimes through his company and more number of murders he had done for years with many different sizes of his weapon that will freak you out!! And with high status to work with gangster and a certain police to cover it all whom he could just eliminate as his next murdering target if he wanted, I’ll say “Welcome to Sungwun City, Mo Taegu’s World.” He is too complete to be a psychopath, an extremely powerful evil case with intellect brain to know what he does. He could be starring his own horror movie if Voice ever made a prequel. Maybe the only thing he hadn’t done yet (or ever shown) is cooking and eating the victims' meat LOL. But seriously, as the citing bible, doing bloodbath, and keeping body or organs, comes from nowhere (that is kinda different persona from the mysterious killer in eps 1-3); the writer even can add if he was ever cannibal too.

3) The high suspense in every episode: While the main villain is horror enough, the co-villains in some emergency cases also could raise the suspension that makes you hold your chair and grit your teeth. This was the most exciting thing because you could see desperate emotions of the victims transported through the call and how The Golden Team is rescuing them, battle in countdown timer minutes by minutes, second by second. Even after the first two cases that you become to feel every rescue is predictably success, you won’t lose the suspense. Voice is directed in plot-driven like a formula one’s car and once you’re seated there, you can’t stop ‘til finish line. My fave case is the child abuse, we feel so pity and hopeless because the one who makes a call is a little boy hiding in washing machine and bleeding. The least suspense is the rescue of bus passengers as the last rescue case in eps 15, probably I’ve been pretty surfeited of the repetitive rescue (but the case is important to show how crazy Mr. Mo runs his business).

4) Full Packed Action: Well, a premise of a lead male seeks revenge for the murder of the person he loves is cliche and standard in action movies; this how Mad Dog vs Mr. Mo’s confrontation has been lead since the series prolog, we know their final battle should happen. Jinhyuk himself wouldn’t be called “Mad Dog” without reason if this genre were absent. Look how his action is performed throughout the series, especially when he beat up all the gangsters in the meat house—so intense and brutal!! Don’t ever ask his nonstop energy, this is how action genre treats the main hero. Then, I expect a same intense hand in hand combat scene as to how action movie’s climax battle should be handled, main hero and main villain are equal although it’s predictable who’d be the winner in the end. Both Mad Dog and Mr. Mo are canonly brutal, you can see the same of them staring terrifyingly and intimidating when they talked to Nam Sang Tae in different scenes; you see how strong they are. Instead, we just get a short gunfighting?! I don’t complaint the gunfighting, but I mean, can they also make a duel with Jet Kun Do vs Tae Kwon Do as the two actors have the martial art skill for real? The director could make they ran out of bullet, then fight brutally, then the cops stop them to arrest him. It’s a wasted potential because the director even had given Mad Dog’s fight against a South East Asian assassin for two episodes! However, Taegu’s ending in the rooftop scene is still satisfying. Maybe the concept of Mad Dog vs Mr. Mo kinda like Batman and Joker. Despite being evil, of course Joker is powerless compared to Batman’s strength if he ever challenged him in combat. The purpose isn’t about which one is stronger. Same as Joker provokes Batman, Taegu also enjoys provoking Jinhyuk to kill himself even by telling him how he killed his wife, to prove he’s just another monster like him. And although we see how Jinhyuk doesn't hesitate to shoot Taegu four times in the rooftop brutally, he didn’t kill him at the end as he pities his enemy. But audiences would know later how it punishes Taegu in a very cruel way unexpectedly compared to what if he just died in Jinhyuk’s hand as he wishes. And of course, he deserves it.

5) The Drama is about The Victims: As well as how the credit title is presented, it tells us that this show is about the victim’s voice in asking help that used to be abandoned by slow police procedural--including our hero and heroine’s beloved one. But not only that, the profiler’s approach to seeking the Criminal’s motive then trying to calm them, making them tremble, and feeling sympathy really reminds me of Criminal Minds; criminals can be born because they were a victim too in the past--trust me, even you’d pity Taegu in the end!

6) Almost Zero Romance: 

Tbh, I don’t like the cliche that the lead male and lead female eventually hook up in the end (although I’m okay with the possible idea) so I’m glad it doesn’t happen with Voice. Even though they start to work together as a team professionally, they didn’t have to fall into an affair like duo Mulder and Scully of The X-Files. Their relationship is amazingly platonic ‘til the end as you watch them developing trust, teamwork, bond, and care to each other. 

If there’s any romance ever sparking, two Kwonjoo’s staffs in Emergency Call may be hinted. The woman is cool at first while the guy is cheerful and kind of a flirt. An obsessive fan of him is even jealous of her. But as I said, it was just hinted. Their occasional heartwarming interaction may be made for taking a break in all suspense and violent cases. It wasn’t out of place since it’s just a little and eps 9 could give you space to breathe. 

Well, this one depends on interpretation, but Taegu seems to have special attraction/interest of Kwonjoo sexually (of course, in a sick mind only psychopath could describe), for example when he stalked her, caressed her bed, stared at her picture, gave her a gift, happy when she found him, claimed that both of them are different from common herd, and show a disappointment that she doesn’t like it. On her profiling, Kwonjoo said why he’s “soft” at her probably because she reminds him of his mother, the only person he genuinely loves. Their chemistry is something the audiences not expecting before, especially in the rooftop scene as their climax. But I'm sure no one complaints [laughs].

Nah, the only true romance no one can’t debate is Jinhyuk’s love for his deceased wife; how he’s broken, how’s he seeks revenge, and then how he finally let it go.

OTHER POSSIBLE FLAWS:

Voice is an easy story and predictable with those action, suspense, and horror elements (although there’s still a twist); the ending is also clear, not open. The main mystery isn’t something that makes you heavily think to guess who is the culprit or suspect someone. Well, it’s enough to thrill for half series because once Taegu’s character is introduced at eps 8, the focus itself actually isn’t about a conspiracy behind the police/prosecutor institution like TvN Signal or TvN Stranger since the mastermind is the person outside it. Some audience may be fooled or even disappointed about it but I’m not (once again, I said Taegu’s character as psychopath fits more in horror tropes). The procedural pace, the variety of crimes, and the plot-driven won’t make you bored that you probably forget to ask for character development and question the logic; though, sometimes the running clock is too long to make us question if the run really happened just in 5 minutes. 

The lead female’s super hearing ability is the reason why all the emergency rescues success where the title “Voice” comes from, it’s full an entertaining fiction, we know real life isn’t like that. Still, it isn’t without flaw; for example, she could amazingly hear the boy’s slow tap behind the wall through communication but she failed to hear the hitting sound Taegu made when he’s smashing Daeshik’s head in the basement right when she’s entering his house. And her ability might be useless if the criminals were smart enough to make sure there's no cellphone being kept in their victim's pocket to be able to make contacts.  

OVERALL THOUGHTS:

Voice is definitely my fave Korean TV Series so far. It isn’t perfect but somehow I don’t feel this is a Kdrama at all. Look at those three main characters: 

The nuance I feel around the lead female’s department and how she handles the cases is almost like when I watch US TV Series of Police Procedural Dramas (many felt like Criminal Minds mixed with 9-1-1), 

the lead male’s fighting scene is like The Raid, Bourne, or John Wick (also the Surim-dong case reminds me of NCIS: New Orleans’s case “Clearwater”),

the main killer’s approach is like Wes Craven’s SCREAM and his personality is like American Psycho’s Patrick Bateman. 

With these references, I don’t recommend this series to those who can’t stand to watch gruesome violence. The age rating in Korea's Standard is 19+ and if it was measured to my country's rating standard (Indonesia), it'd be 21+.

I haven’t mentioned yet that the actors and the actresses, both leads and supporting, are amazing. I don’t watch much Korean entertainment (movie and show) so this is the first time I’m introduced to them all, and suddenly both Jinhyuk’s actor (Jang Hyuk) and Taegu’s actor (Kim Jae Wook) are added to my fave list for me interested to watch their other projects. I also like the veteran actress who plays a granny in Surim-dong incident; she could act as three different characters!

I’m looking forward to Season 2 aired on 11th August 2018. Now, without Jinhyuk and Taegu’s characters anymore as their confrontation story is over; I wonder if this time The Golden Team somehow ever fails to save a life like TvN Signal and have kind of a sociopath as main villain like OCN Tunnel. Who knows? I still can’t imagine someone more psycho and charismatic than Taegu yet haha. And with a different director, it’s probably not horror as season 1 anymore, but more thriller. But most importantly, I want to see and know more about the heroine, Kang Center, she’s at least need character development since she was the core of “voice”.

[01-bby-archive]

for tae

warning: this is long and kinda corny and i’m bad with words and i didn't even know where i was going with this. i probably didn’t even say all i wanted to say but yea hfgjs

loml its your bday so let me start off by saying happy birthday! i hope you have an amazing one and have many more!

and through those years i will continue to support you wether it be music, photography, art (drawing, painting, etc.), acting you will get all my support because you are so so so so talented in everything you do. youre such a creative person. youre such a lovely person.

you have one of the most beautiful souls. you are a geniune, kindhearted, sweetheart who deserves nothing but the world to treat you with the kindness you give it. ive only stanned you for almost a year now but ive learned a bit about you and your just so beautiful inside and out. i would hope, even tho its very unrealistic, for you to never be sad.

when your sad or when you cry i get sad with you and want to hug you and just comfort you. another part of me wants you to be happy 25/8 i know its not realistic but god seeing you upset makes me so sad. youre a silly individual and i love you pull different faces but my favorite face youve ever made is when you smile.

your smile...ranging from little smirks to your big ass boxy smile...its really the most beautiful thing ive ever seen. when you laugh it makes me smile so big my cheeks start hurting. when you giggle my heart grows. you have the most prettiest lips ive ever seen hdfhjk theyre so pink and shaped in such a cute way. when you smile your eyes get scrunchy (your nose does as well) and they get so so so sparkly and bright.

your eyes your eyelashes are so long oh and i love how you have monolid and a double lid. theyre different but equally as beautiful.

beautiful one of the words id use to describe your voice. wether you are talking or singing i absolutely love your voice. hearing you get better at your highnote on stigma makes me so proud cus you really work hard(i admire you for that) and the improvment is just amazing. id have you sing me to sleep tbh kdjdjsks. i also just love hearing you talk. i could listen to you talk forever your voice is just that nice sksjjzmzkk. its deep as heeeeelllll but it can hit that high note (come thru vocals!)

you! are! adorable! cute! ma little squishy!!! there are times when you act so adorable you probably dont even know. like when you fall asleep your lips all pouty and you can see your eyelashes really well. or! when you were about to show everyone tata and you thought yoongi was gonna say you gave off a van gogh vibe you eyes got all sparkly and sksjsnsm (really you were adorable the whole time you were creating tata you seemed so excited and happy :((( ) you are just so damn cute :(( you can also be such a shy guy especially when talking about your art which is adorable (a renassiance man!) when you kiss the camera and go mwah! love that! the fact that you have to cuddle someone to fall asleep is sososo cute :((((

all of your face moles super duper cute and kissable. nose mole? kiss! lip mole? smooch! i love every single one

you look so good in red. it was created just for you i swear! bandanas and berets on you are a yes!!! also 171019!! hoodies look so good on you! you look so comfy and cozy! let me cudd*e you!! :(((

dude. your hands are like the prettiest fucking hands ive ever seen. i just wanna compare hand sizes with you and hold your hands. i wanna leave kisses on them and tell you how beautiful you are.:( (i also wanna paint your nails)

you seem like such a confident person. it shows in your fashion (the male rihanna) you dont give a shit about what people have to say and i admire you so much for that! you saying you dont want any of the other members dna and that you like your own??? you call your pimples friends??? you get happy when you gain weight??? you are so carefree???? love a confident man!!! you just seem so sure of yourself and i really admire that.

you are such an intelligent person. first thing that comes to mind is your english. you pick words so quickly and it sounds really good. your able to listen to a god damn chicken and know what pitch they were crying??? (ok talent!) you are smart regardless of what anyone says. (ill literally murk anyone who says otherwise)

you have such a big heart and you share that love with dogs and children. youre literally going to be such an amazing dad one day :(

you yourself can act like a big kid sometimes jfdgjkb you can be loud, super goofy n silly, and it always seems like you look at the world with a childlike wonder. you actually have a certain type of innocence that i hope you hang onto forever.

you are such a unique person with a unique personality and the more i learn about you the more i love you

you are clumsy, bad at games, smack your food, can move your ears??? for some reason, wear your glasses on the back of your head, can literally make friends with anyone,have a heart of gold, protective of your members, dont get scared when theres zombies chasing you gdhhjkb,would probably be a gaming youtuber,a child at heart, and an overall lovable human

kim taehyung. you are a charming, funny, talented, intelligent, man. and i love and adore and admire you sosososo much.

[furfur83]

Damn this day...

Today has been an absolute shit show in regards to my depression. I had to talk to a pastor about my brother in order for her to get some insight into what to say about him at his service. This also meant bringing up my cousin who she will also be doing a service for at the same time. Hang onto your seats kids cause this gets dark fast.

I had nothing good to say about him. Not because he was an inherently bad person, but because he was a product of his childhood. His mother (my aunt on my dad’s side) and father (he left her eventually) both are deaf and his mother is somewhat blind but with surgery and glasses she can function. Anyhow, he came to stay with us for a while with his younger brother when I was a teenager. The youngest of the two was an absolute doll. He was so loving and caring and young enough he didn’t really seem affected by the trauma the two of them went through. His brother, the oldest, on the other hand was traumatized in the worst possibly way. My mother kidnapped them from my aunt because of the abuse and neglect she found out was going on. She was awarded temporary custody of them. The first night we had to bathe them 3 or 4 times to get all of the filth off of them. This led to the discovery of scars and fresh burns. The oldest had the most. In the process we found out about how my aunt and her boyfriend had them breaking into houses through basement windows (because they were small) and letting the adults in to rob places for drug money. When my cousins did not comply (one incident in particular my cousin was afraid because the house had a big dog in it) they had their feet set on fire, were burned by cigarettes and locked in closets and food was withheld from them. My oldest cousin was bearing the brunt of the abuse. This had been going on for quite a while. After the bathing and getting them into clean clothes, we had a big dinner. I remember there were biscuits. And I remember the two of them eating like they hadn’t had food in years, stuffing biscuits into their mouths so fast they were nearly choking. I died a little that night. Watching them, seeing what they were like, it was almost as if they were feral. I had no idea my own family was capable of such a horrendous thing. Children being treated like that. As bad as things were in my house sometimes, it was nothing compared to what they went through.

Over the time they stayed with us, I became super close with the youngest, I begged my mom to keep him until I was 18 and I would adopt him. He was a little angel and I loved him so much. But the oldest showed really strange behaviors and was not adjusting to living a normal life. Things got too serious for my family to handle when he started actively trying to kill his younger brother. My mom had the youngest staying in my room to sleep at night and the oldest with my brother. On one occasion the oldest came into my room and tried to smother his brother with a pillow and acted like it was nothing and he was “just playing”... I was terrified. I didn’t sleep at night. I watched the youngest like a hawk and was terrified he would kill my brother so I snuck into his room several times a night to check on them. Eventually with all of the other attempts to hurt his brother, fights at school and the other behavior issues, my mom had to make a choice. We let the state take them. My mom said it wasn’t fair to keep one and not the other. I was devastated. I wanted to keep my youngest cousin so bad. I begged my parents not to let him go. They took me to meet his foster family (who eventually ended up adopting him) and I said my goodbyes to him. The oldest ended up in a mental institution until he was 18. I don’t know much else except he got into drugs, moved back in with his mom when he was 18, tried having a friendship/relationship with his brother but ended up ruining his brother’s relationship with his girlfriend and they had a huge fight and he died from an overdose. The youngest apparently cut all ties with his real and adopted family and changed his name and moved away. That’s all I know. None of it is good.

I don’t associate with my aunt, I have no love for that woman. She sent me and my son Christmas gifts this past year through my dad. Again, I could care less. What she did to my cousins, allowed to happen to them, is unforgivable. The oldest should never have gone through any of that and he became a monster because of what she did. The youngest should never have had to be sent to foster care and adopted. Our family should have been able to take care of both of them. But she made that impossible through what she did to them.

I went to counseling tonight, and in talking with my counselor she mentioned how much abandonment and loss I have experienced in my life. I realized that I had never mentioned this side of my family before with her. I was keeping this one locked away for a good reason. I loved my youngest cousin so much. Much like I loved my little brother, like they were my own children. Until I had my own son, I had no idea that the feelings were that of a parent, but they were. I have always been a mother. Since I was a small child. Since my mom put my brother in my tiny toddler arms. And I have lost many “children” over my lifetime besides just those I miscarried.

I also realized I have been through quite a bit more than the average person. If this is what she thinks now, this is really just a couple layers deep. So far I’ve only talked about what I’m comfortable talking about. Like the ocean there’s a depth even I can’t reach within myself since I’ve blocked out and forgotten a good amount due to a seizure (or just my bipolar brain, not sure which to blame yet).

Not sure where I went off point, but after dealing with talking about my brother and my cousin, I had an MRI. The one I’ve been waiting for. The results are still a few days away but it’s done and I hope it shows something to explain my pain. I also had to cry a lot in therapy and that seems to be the norm now, but I’ve also been trying to work on arrangements for after the service for my brother and cousin. We may have found a place that will give us a room and cater for 40 people. So that’s nice. I hate that it’s the last thing we’ll do for him though. I know we can have celebrations of his life later, but people will become numb to the purpose eventually and it will fizzle out. So it will end up being me and my closest friends only one day. People will forget Jimmie. I never could, but others will. Not being morose. Just being realistic. And let’s throw in a friend request from a family member I don’t know on Facebook. (I have a huge family so not knowing one of them is pretty common in these parts) I don’t need anymore family around me, especially ones I don’t know (tbh I’d rather if it was ones I don’t know it be the two sisters I have but they don’t know I exist, another long story) but I added the family member anyway. Let the nosey look around. Can’t hurt can it?