Honestly I think the biggest indication that Callum was always going to do dark magic again is that Villads tells him, "Your conscience is a messy place boyo," even after he's rejected the dark magic version of the cube and subsequently being a dark mage. Your conscience is specifically linked to being the little voice inside your head that helps guide your choices, and we see this specifically being centred around Callum's choice to break the primal stone.
Was he right to give up power, the ability to be useful and helpful, in such a way? It hatched Zym. It gave the world another chance for peace. But it left him helpless. The lack of power is what drove him to do dark magic ("I did one spell. One. I had to") because the only alternative was letting his friends potentially, or almost surely, die.
He's rejected dark magic. He's already said no. But he can't quite let go. He's here on the precipice already, of wondering if without dark magic — if without some kind of power — if he'll be helpless in the future again. If he'll drown.
And then he learns to breathe, and is given the Sky arcanum, and he thinks he has his answer. He thinks it's a no.
Until he's a bind that Sky magic couldn't solve it for him, and he's forced to reckon with what his subconscious was telling him all along: his conscience is a messy place, because he knows — not "to make a real difference in the world," not for "unlimited power," not for his own self gain or importance — with dark magic, for his loved ones, it'll always be a yes. ("Well some things have changed, but not everything: I would do anything for you.") It always has been.
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*after discussing a plan*
Rayla: Does anyone have any questions?
Callum: Is this legal?
Rayla: Does anyone have any relevant questions?
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Fuel the Pyre - Chapter 6
Summary: For almost a decade now, life has been peaceful for the royal family of Katolis. All out war is becoming a distant memory as efforts to unite the continent continue. Open borders let more than friends in, however, and whispers of dangers lurking in the shadows are growing louder and more insistent.
Callum, Rayla and their adopted daughter Tio have bee trying to ignore the growing unease as best they can, but when the threat comes banging at their door, they can no longer turn a blind eye.
Pairing: Rayla/Callum
Rating: Mature
AO3 Link: Fuel the Pyre
“The less people know we’re leaving, the better.” Callum paused at the door, eyes drifting to Tio for a moment. Maybe he was being overly cautious, but Ezran would understand. Tio too. What was more important was safety and secrecy. “I don’t want to make a scene. We should tell people we’re going out to the countryside for the day. Maybe to the ponds? If anyone comes looking for us, that’ll send them in the opposite direction. It might give us time.”
Rayla frowned at him, nodding softly.
“What?” Stopping, Callum turned to give her his full attention. He could see how conflicted she was about this whole thing, warring with herself.
“I just really hope we’re overreacting, that’s all.” She rubbed her temple.
“Me too.” Callum opened the door, pausing in the threshold. Maybe they were fleeing for nothing. Maybe this would all blow over and they’d come back to annoyance and disapproval. He was willing to weather that storm though. “But I’d rather overreact, than the alternative.”
Read More On AO3 – Fuel the Pyre: Chapter 6
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sky mage runs out of breath
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i love it when characters are unfair, actually. i love it when they’re uncouth and cranky and hypocritical, i love it when they have cognitive dissonances, i love it when they make good and bad choices for the wrong reasons. i love when they’re short to anger and hard to understand. i love it when they’ve destroyed themselves for nothing but can’t even see either part of it yet. i love it when they’re messy and selfish and bad at communicating. i love it when they get convinced of their own ego and stuck in a feedback loop regarding their own warped paranoia. i love it when characters actively make their lives unknowingly harder for themselves. i love it when characters don’t know they’re in a story. i love it when characters are like real people
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evil callum has my heart-
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