#tertiary

[deertism]

— ASTRABOUND ; a type connection between two people that is not romantic nor platonic. this type of relationship can be described by a type of emotional connection based on a deep trust and understanding between two ( or more ) people. this type of relationship should feel secure. an example of what this relationship is similar to would be a pair of bonded cats. the term for an astrabound partner is stella / stellaium , or astrabond.

— what astrabound partnerships are not ; this type of relationship is not based on traumabonding , and such a relationship should not be considered astrabound. this type of relationship does not move fast , infact it typically takes years to develop. this relationship is not between platonic and romantic as it is not a part of that attraction system.

— coined by me & @royalroe

— made for personal use only , please do not use

[bunnieswithknives]

I’ve stacked them! @carehounds

[neopronouns]

flag id: two flags with 5 stripes. the left flag's stripes are medium dark red-pink, faded red-pink, orange, yellow, and faded blue. the right flag's stripes are medium dark faded blue, blue, yellow, orange, and pink. end id.

banner id: a 1600x200 teal banner with the words ‘please read my dni before interacting. those on my / dni may still use my terms, so do not recoin them.’ in large white text in the center. the text takes up two lines, split at the slash. end id.

womatertiary | matertiary

womatertiary: experiencing non-romantic non-sexual attraction to women

matertiary: experiencing non-romantic non-sexual attraction to men

[pt: womatertiary: experiencing non-romantic non-sexual attraction to women

matertiary: experiencing non-romantic non-sexual attraction to men. end pt]

anon asked for the first term and i figured i'd coin the second! these use colors inspired by the ma- and woma- flags and from the tertiary attraction flag.

tags: @radiomogai, @liom-archive, @orientation-archive, @narcette, @genderstarbucks, @sugar-and-vice-mogai | dni link

[sunno-needs-to-go-outside]

@carehounds unpleasant gradients have taken up 100% of my brain

also I don't have the best grasp of jay's personality so he might be a little off, but I strongly believes like she sounds like the little blonde bitch from meet the robinsons

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello! I've been following you for a while and you've given really good insights about types (I was quite blown by the way you've been able to read into INFJ's shame and what not. It was really cool to read.)

Anyway, I am an ENTP and recently I've realized that my sense of empathy is rather odd…I am able to understand others, I can predict how certain things may affect others emotionally within logic, however my sense of empathy never truly reaches me. I know it sounds a little weird, but truly I find so hard to be moved by things that often move others, or to care beyond the basic courtesy. I can understand how and why someone feels in x way, however said empathy often comes from logic more than actually feeling in the shoes of others.

At the same time, I take my sweet time when it comes to understand my own feelings. Like, I can experience something that leaves me feeling weird and take a whole day, nap included, just to realize I'm kinda angry or sad or surprised. This inability to guide myself through my own feelings or even experience what others experience has caused me some troubles through the years, because of course, despite being able to read others, one is bound to fail or misunderstand at some point.

From running my mouth, having bad timing, to doing hurtful stuff that in my view were not hurtful at that moment (because I somehow reached the wrong conclusion in my attempt for empathy) I often find myself a little on the sideway when it comes to feelings of vulnerability, to the point I even end up pushing myself through stuff that makes me uncomfortable after I failed to understand I was weirded out on time; or even the opposite when I end up stating that I am really angry just to realize I didn't even cared that much.

The fact that I am a woman and people tend to expect women to be more sympathetic doesn't help either, so it's not rare for a group of people who knows me superficially to think that I am too reactionary/intimidating/out of reach/aggresive/harsh when in fact most of the time I'm trying to be friendly and outspoken, all while my inner circle define me as very lighthearted and even motherly. And, keep in mind, I am actually very adjusted socially, quite functional. I'm the type of person who will push through depression and very bad scenarios out of will which has been incredibly useful in dark times, but again I wonder if it was less will and more me not being vulnerable at all.

So, do you think this is some kind of failing in my Fe? Is this something that happens often to ENTP's or maybe I should check on other things like mental health etc? Do you have tips that could help me being more understanding of my own feelings? (Thank you before hand!)

-------------------

Generally speaking, the focus of therapeutic psychology is mainly on the individual. Behavior is labelled "problematic" when it causes pain and suffering and negatively impacts one's ability to live life in the manner one aspires to. It is a self-evaluation. Since you claim to be functional in daily life, there is no reason to believe that you have any mental health problem or disorder.

However, abnormal psychology is but one of many perspectives through which to understand the human mind. E.g. What about highly functional yet existentially unhappy people? What about people who live a comfortable life but still yearn? What about people skilled at brushing aside issues to keep moving forward in life?

These people might not suffer from any serious mental disorder, but that doesn't mean there isn't enormous room for improvement. The subfield of psychoanalytic psychology helps people get to know themselves more deeply. The subfield of humanistic psychology helps people understand and fulfill their needs better. The subfield of positive psychology was created to tackle subjects like: how to live a better quality of life; how to flourish and thrive; how to realize greater potential.

You've described a psychological "issue" that you struggle with at times, but not to the extent that it poses a serious problem. Whether this issue is common for ENTPs with tertiary Fe is not the right question to ask. If I say "yes", then what? If I say "no", then what? Unless your behavior is very harmful, it's not for me or anyone else to tell you that there's something "wrong" with you. I don't want to play the role of judge and jury.

The question boils down to: What, if anything, do YOU want to do about this issue? The motivation to change shouldn't come from me saying that there's something "wrong" with you, as though I'm your parent. You should have some kind of intrinsic motivation, stemming from deep within your own soul, to improve yourself and your life. Unfortunately, without this intrinsic motivation, many people end up choosing unhealthy paths to self-improvement.

From your description, you have the capability to be emotionally aware and empathetic. However, "capability" is different than "ability". A capability is something you can potentially do but perhaps lack the knowledge or skill or will to do well. An ability is what you possess after you've put in the necessary hard work to learn the knowledge and skill required to do something well.

Of course, there are certain capabilities that are harder to develop for some people than others due to genetic predisposition. But this shouldn't be a barrier for anyone seeking personal growth for the right reasons. When you have the right intrinsic motivation, you understand that self-improvement isn't about being "the best" but about being a better you.

At any point in life, you get to choose to be a better you by turning your capabilities into abilities, by realizing more of your potential. To be clear, there's nothing "wrong" with refusing to. However, when you refuse, are you making the choice consciously, fully aware of the implications? Refusing essentially means you will never truly know that aspect of yourself nor see its benefits. And then you are likely to feel a strange "hole" in your existence, as though part of you is missing.

How does this relate to tertiary Fe? Generally speaking, people have plenty of capability or latent potential with the tertiary function. However, to develop latent potential and learn how to use the tertiary optimally requires a lot of difficult self-work. Why is the tertiary difficult to develop? Two main reasons:

1) It can only come after sufficient auxiliary development, which is hard enough. It sounds like your grasp of Ti is average at best, perhaps immature but not unhealthy. You use Ti in its most basic form to understand and solve problems, including human problems. However, it seems you haven't yet learned how to use it optimally to turn your capabilities into abilities.

2) People often don't understand the true value of the tertiary function and perhaps even unconsciously resist developing it in the right way. Most people use it merely as a tool to gain some egotistical advantage but then discard it whenever it becomes inconvenient. Does this not encapsulate your relationship to emotional life?

Chasing the good aspects while rejecting the bad means you don't have a full appreciation of the function. If you care about Fe, which includes having a healthier relationship to your emotional life, then you must learn to appreciate its true value and WANT it. Nobody can convince you or force you to develop a function that you overlook, ignore, or disdain as it suits you.

Gender may or may not play a role depending on how you choose to react to societal expectations. Rebellion against gender norms is sometimes necessary to promote fairness and equality, but it can also work against you, if you just end up resisting or rejecting things that are good for your personal growth.

As explained in the guide, type development is about improving your self-awareness, with the implication being that knowing yourself better allows you to make better judgments and decisions in life. It is entirely your decision as to whether you're going to: stop devaluing Fe; become more aware of its role in your psychology; accept and embrace its presence with both its positive and negative aspects; and fully integrate it into your way of being.

If you choose to take your personal growth in this direction, your emotional awareness will certainly improve which in turn will help improve your empathy for others. I've explained before that empathy requires both the cognitive and emotional components to work at its best. So far, you have favored the cognitive (as it relates to Ti) and been resistant to the emotional (as it relates to Fe). Rectifying this imbalance requires proper auxiliary and tertiary development, such that they complement rather than interfere with each other.

I've already written about emotional intelligence and recommended books that provide advice for self-improvement. The tools already exist, so it is a matter of study and practice. You say you want to be more understanding of your feelings but then your actual behavior toward feelings suggests otherwise.

For example, instead of being patient and vulnerable and listening to feelings in order to become more aware of them, you treat them as alien or as a nuisance, unwilling to take full responsibility for them. In terms of type development, it is this kind of ambivalence that keeps people stuck in a rut.

In short, is your question really about whether you "can" do it, or is it really about whether you have enough will to change and grow? Until this is clarified, your true purpose remains muddled, and that will continually limit and slow your progress.

[alcrego]

Tertiary

Some links: https://linktr.ee/alcrego

[valentinesie]

＃％．ABRITERTIARY ‹ ꜝ

More info under the cut!

˚ ̟ ︵︵ ୨୧ ︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵ ゜ ⊹

EXPLANATIONS ᶻz﹒﹒﹪﹒﹒＞0☆

Abritertiary flag based on the abrisexual flag && tertiary flag.

Abrisexual: An attraction that stays static but the label one uses to describe it changes, one could also be abro! (☆)

Tertiary: Attraction that is not romantic, sexual, physical or emotional. It is an umbrella term. (☆)

˚ ̟ ︵︵ ୨୧ ︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵ ゜ ⊹

STRIPES && MEANINGS ᶻz﹒﹒﹪﹒﹒＞0☆

In order: 1. Being abrisexual; fluid identity 2. Atypical experience of attraction 3. Experiencing tertiary attraction 4. Pride && Queerness 5. Unique experience

˚ ̟ ︵︵ ୨୧ ︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵ ゜ ⊹

IMAGES IDS ᶻz﹒﹒﹪﹒﹒＞0☆

Rectangular flag with stripes that are, in order: Verdigris, Light yellowish green, Pastel Yellow, Orange, Deep Blush.

Icons are both Arashi Narukami from enstars!

˚ ̟ ︵︵ ୨୧ ︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵ ゜ ⊹

[honey-makes-mogai]

[Image ID: A MOGAI flag with seven uneven slightly wavy horizontal stripes. From top to bottom the colors in order are: dark brown, brown, light brown, beige, light brown, brown, dark brown. In the middle theres a white circle with a red diamond shaped outline and alchemic symbol for bismuth also in red. /End ID]

Beaowinca -

A nonhuman tertiary attraction (alteraffectis) term for how a teddybear feels towards its human!

[PT: Beaowinca -]

Requested by: @comorbididy

[Banner ID: A pastel yellow banner with a sunflower on either side. In brown text with a white outline, it says "- Please let me know if this has been coined before! -" /End ID.]

[opaline-entropy]

Coining post!

fovos- (fovosamoric, fovosplatonic, fovosalterous, etc.)

when your attraction types (romantic, sexual, platonic, etc.) are intrinsically tied with or affected by fears or phobias. (from fovos, the Greek word for fear)

Examples:

- Feeling fear and attraction inseparably

- Having your fear/phobias influence your attraction types

- Having attraction reduce/increase when feeling fear

- Experiencing attraction when afraid despite not usually feeling attraction, or not feeling attraction when afraid despite usually feeling attraction

- Feeling that your fears and attractions go hand in hand

Flags (version without teeth + with teeth, IDs in alt text):

The pink is for romantic/sexual based attraction, the green is for tertiary/platonic types of attraction, the purple is for a mix of either or neither at all, and the dark burgundy and yellow is representative of fear/caution/phobias!

-

fovosic attraction

an attraction type that is inherently fear/phobia-based, or feeling that your phobias/fears are your attraction type! (also from fovos, the Greek word for fear)

Flag (complex + simple version, IDs in alt text):

The purple represents tertiary attraction, the grey-pink and pale orange represent adrenaline, and the yellow/yellow-green, the burgundy, and the green represent fears/phobias!

Please don't repost any of this without credit (this includes the flags and the definitions/terms, I made all of this myself!) If you do repost please tag us!

This term is NOT for use by anyone who IDs as trans-x, radqueer, or anyone who supports them.

[carehounds]

Hi hello gootbye

[deertism]

ⓘ adornic attraction !

Adornic is a type of alterous attraction based off of adoration for one or more others. This type of attraction can be described as admiration for the other(s). It should feel warm and comfortable. Adornic attraction thrives off of happiness, two (or more) people in an adornic relationship should make eachother happy, laugh, and overall give them a warm feeling that is unlike that of romantic attraction.

» made September 10 2022

coined by me ; req by n/a

[tortiefrancis]

shoutout to people in relationships that aren't romantic, sexual, platonic or even queerplatonic

shoutout to people in domestic relationships, aesthetic relationships, alterous relationships, spiritual relationships, and all other types of amazing relationships that beings can have. that also goes for people who don't label their relationships!

you deserve much more appreciation than you are given, happy pride month

[ithriel-coins]

elfseaffectis !

(elf - sea - affect - iss)

a form of alteraffectis attraction that describes the way an elf feels towards the sea.

[no id, help appreciated !]

etymology - elf + sea + affectis (short for alteraffectis)

tagging @alteraffectis

[the-delta-quadrant]

[mbti-notes]

Hi mbti-notes. I hope you are in good health. I have a question on something I read on your blog on tertiary function. One of the contributing factors to tertiary loop could be "spending long periods of time in a social environment that discourages proper dominant and auxiliary development. " But what if a person doesn't realize that they are in an environment that is contributing to a loop.Or even after they do realize and switch environments but encounter the same thing but its not possible to change it easily (school/college/workplace environments arent easy to switch).I have a fear that my entire career or the place I move to will be bad for me and I will only know when its too late or at a point where I will not be able to do anything about it. This has happened in the past where I realize that living in a holistic environment is conducive to overall being.

Just because "one of the contributing factors to tertiary loop is spending long periods of time in a social environment that discourages proper dominant and auxiliary development", it doesn't mean that "environment is everything". It seems like there is a certain powerlessness in you that misinterprets the statement.

The statement is meant to help people become more aware of how their environment might be negatively influencing their development - not to make people feel like they will always be victims of forces beyond their control. Once aware of the negative environmental influence, people can do something about it. The main point is to understand that you always have options. Generally speaking, the more self-aware you are, the more options you have, because you have greater access to your own inner resources.

Along your line of thought, there are two approaches that can work separately or together:

1) Inside Out: One of the main goals of type development is to grow your self-awareness so that you can learn ways to counteract tertiary loop on your own. When you have this power within you, the environment matters much less, perhaps not at all, because you are no longer a passive recipient of its influence. With the aim to have better awareness and control over your own mind, a negative environment can actually: i) help you achieve deeper and deeper awareness of how tertiary loop works, and ii) grant you plenty of great opportunities to practice loop-countering strategies.

2) Outside In: Of course, if you have the power to change a social environment for the better, you can try to. This is likely to enhance your extraverted development, so it won't be a wasted effort regardless of the end result. If you simply don't have enough influence over the environment, you can opt to leave for greener pastures, or you can use it as an opportunity to practice the inside out approach.

If you believe that personal growth is all about setting up a perfectly supportive and emotionally soothing environment for yourself, you're mistaken. Such an unrealistic ideal might actually lead you into existential stagnation. In real life, personal growth often comes from learning how to rise to the challenge of negative circumstances. But you need to be aware of what those challenges are and how they're influencing you before you can think about how to meet them.

[cedural-culture-is]

cedural culture is feeling guilty for having a sush on someone because you don't want to push any responsibility on them

We feel you anon