Tumgik
#testing a different style? maybe?
hahskeleton · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media
This is my Kill the Lights AU y/n!! I’ve had the au for months now and I’ve been posting chapters and I never thought to draw design pages/concept art of them ;v;
19 notes · View notes
corset · 23 days
Text
Tumblr media
Look at my boy
3 notes · View notes
heavyknitter · 1 year
Text
1 - How it started.
Two weeks ago I walked up 'n over to my aunt, who lives next door to me and asked her if she had some knitting needles and wool to show me how to do it. When I get the urge to do something, I need to do it right now, it can't wait, I need to ride this wave - thankfully my aunt is very much the same so she took one look at me, got up from her seat and started rifling through her stuff to find what I asked for. She used to be an expert knitter, but her eyesight is poor these days so she doesn't bother with that anymore - she is also, as I figured out quickly, not all that good at explaining shit. But eh, we made it work. We are both very kinaesthetic oriented learners and for her this is easy-peasy muscle memory and I had to remind her I have no context no idea how to loop what and where and more importantly, my hands may have a lot of muscle memory on various tasks but not this, none of that. So she manipulated my hand a bit until I got the idea of how and bäm. Suddenly I was knitting.
Well. I tried my best. It was a learning curve, thankfully a steep one. See, she cast on ten loops for me and did the first two rows to get me started and I jumped in and somehow made that 13 loops. That was fun because she of course asked me how the hell and I had no answer because we were at the bare bones, how to increase was not even a topic yet so idk what I did there.
Tumblr media
Next issue, which I was not really surprised by if I am honest, was the fact that I was knitting too tightly. See, as artist I have the issue of gripping my pens too tight, so tight in fact that I sometimes cut off the blood circulation in my fingers while I draw detailed linework. I have compression opera gloves to mitigate that issue a bit and keep my hands and arms protected while I try to unlearn this. I also started embroidery in autumn of 2022 and there I like to pull the thread tight to make the embroidery neat and even, so.. both of these things worked against me a wee bit. But I worked on this little test piece for like three days straight to get the movement into my system. To get my grip under control. To get a rhythm going. (To make sure I will not add any more loops to a row than those 13 because seriously where the fuck did they come from.)
Tumblr media
I mostly tried to get even rows but in the beginning I made some waves between tight loops and trying to loosen them again but eventually it clicked with my hands what I wanted them to do in terms of pressure and pull. My aunt is a darling you know? She said, those knitting needles are shit for the wool she had at hand but it will do for now, good enough to learn at least. And then she ran an errand the very next day and gave me some bulky as hell soft wool that has like.. the same feels as those soft synthetic cuddly blankets you can buy almost everywhere, so, perfect for me. And my first own knitting needles to go with that. And I showed her my test piece and how I slowly get a hang of it and she nodded in approval and praised how even my rows are getting and that made my brain go brr.
Tumblr media
And one day after I did go into the city and hit up the store next to the train station and went a bit wild on buying wool - which is a theme for the next couple of days to be honest. I bought a lot of wool because I really wanted to have everything in house when I go wild. And thus I started on my first real project. A scarf that is more like a shawl because I really really misjudged how broad the bulky soft wool makes the thing. But more on that later I guess <3
17 notes · View notes
supercantaloupe · 1 year
Text
trying hard to avoid the kitten this week cause i have to be off my allergy meds until thursday
10 notes · View notes
peapod20001 · 1 year
Text
Ok so obviously over the entirety of my time on tumblr, I have grown as an artist. You could most likely be able to differentiate between 2018 pea art and 2023 pea art-
And then I remember like. One specific drawing of old Eliana design and I think to myself “literally nothing has changed here skill wise”
8 notes · View notes
watatsumiis · 2 years
Text
Capitano drabble coming tomorrow :3 should hopefully perhaps be enjoyable
10 notes · View notes
angabby-zzz · 2 years
Text
Couldnt wait until later to post these What is up bbgs
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
8 notes · View notes
vamptastic · 2 years
Text
i also just don't understand the neurochemical theory for ADHD i guess. i mean, as far as i can tell, stimulants have genuinely helped me a lot, especially with sensory overload and being able to activate focus at will more often. but they haven't changed the core part of me that just goes too fast, if that makes sense. when i was a kid, most of the adults around me were convinced that (and it sounds fucking stupid, sorry, i promise i am not making this up) i was like... so smart that i had excess neurons that fired so much it caused literally every symptom of ADHD you can imagine. sensory overload was because i had like, heightened senses and took in too much data, talking fast and on a train of thought was because i just thought faster than other people, stuff like that. it's definitely a lot better than being told i'm stupid and defective (though i got a fair bit of that too, depending on the adult), but pretty obviously pseudoscientific and also the reason i didn't get diagnosed till age 16 despite the extremely obvious flags i was throwing up. regardless, that explanation that my brain was simply structured differently, that i basically took in too much data too fast, always spoke to me a lot more than the idea that it's caused by my dopamine receptors only. i just don't generally link most of my symptoms to my emotions or adrenaline levels most of the time. certainly it plays a part, but the way i talk, the sensory stuff, and the way i learn and process new information seems to be largely unexplainable with dopamine levels.
#i suppose i am kind of also just describing autism#and it's entirely possible that i just have comorbidity going on#but psychiatry is far from an exact science and i can't help but wonder if there's more to it than brain chemicals and maybe its more to do#with electrical signals. god that sounds dumb i need to learn neuroscience#i hate gifted kid shit man it's so stupid. i had a good teacher for most of it that mostly just had us do like#typical stuff for autistic kids tbh. different puzzles and logic games some sensory stuff#she did a lot of cool stuff with different tests she had us take about learning styles and whatnot#but it's stuff most other kids could've benefited from so there was no real need to have it be its own program#also you got in on an iq test but got kicked out if your grades dropped which is dumb and kinda defeats the purpose#they probably should've given everyone iq tests at the beginning of each year and based it on that#...scientific legitimacy of iq aside#i do think there is some merit to the sort of horseshoe theory of intelligence they used#it was basically an ese class for high functioning adhd and autistic kids#and maybe high intelligence does cause neurodivergent symptoms but ive yet to find valid data to prove it#i mean i think most of the other kids wouldve found it boring but only with that one teacher#later teachers that my siblings had just had kids do projects and research stuff#i do think i would've acted out a lot more without that as an outlet for the ole noodle. also helped w executive dysfunction a ton#it just. could have been a regular ese class for kids w/o intellectual disabilities. the gifted label is dumb
3 notes · View notes
fair-lead · 8 months
Text
i just need to sit down. download a bunch of base human meshes and study their topology. and then make my own.
0 notes
13eyond13 · 9 months
Text
.
#should i make a list / tag for all the non-manga stuff i read this year somewhere?#idk idk... i am nothing if not a media list maker and otherwise i might just keep making stupid tag rambles like this#i'm currently reading / listening to the audiobook of the count of monte cristo btw#because i joined an online book club started by a booktuber for reading giant-ass tomes together#something about the style of it is really funny to me like in how everyone is acting exactly like they're in a play#like they say so many of their thoughts aloud like 'alas if only this and that i would do this!'#i find it actually better as an audiobook bc it is so much like a play#and the guy reading it does a lot of good different voices and such#i am enjoying it but it was sort of a slow-burn appreciation for me like#at first i was like ok yeah it's fine very classic lit feeling i'll force myself through a few chapters a day#but then as i was playing my nintendo i started listening to the audiobook in the background too and#i kept wanting to find out what would happen next and now i'm a week ahead in my self-assigned 3 chapters a day readings#here's a protip for powering through classic literature that is sometimes confusing or boring for you btw:#read the sparknotes chapter summaries either before or after each chapter if you're afraid you're not catching everything important#i even take the little sparknotes quizzes to test myself haha#def helps me know i didnt accidentally miss something key if i tune out or get confused during a dry political discussion part#not just for classic lit either. i also read the plot summaries with manga and shows and movies if i'm like 'wait what just happened there'#maybe not everybody is like this but i got the ol adhd so i gotta#p
1 note · View note
tsukimirecs · 1 month
Text
nekoma // fic recommendations
Tumblr media
note: remember to read the tags! + i do not own any of these works + the synopsis for each fic belongs to the author who wrote the fic
kuroo tetsuro
taste test - kaientai
synopsis: when you taste the same thing as your soulmate, things get interesting
red all over - meldve
synopsis: you are trapped in an elevator with your work rival, kuroo. what else could go wrong?
your name - tsukisemi
synopsis: kuroo finds you really cute, too bad you keep giving him a fake name every time you come into the coffee shop he works at
public transit - orphan_account
synopsis: your heart pounded, knowing you were being touched, and he was watching you.
but when he loves me - sweetcandyliar
synopsis: there are so many ways that kuroo tells you he loves you.
somewhere only we know - wanderwithme (wanderlustt)
synopsis: four times kuroo proposes to you - and the last time he does
meeting the boys - orphan_account
synopsis: in which no one really believes kuroo could get a girlfriend as incredible as you
落葉 | rakuyou - deltachye
synopsis: maple leaves are most beautiful in which they have died, falling slowly, waiting patiently to be reborn
riverbank - itsleese
synopsis: you're reminded of the little boy you loved way back then, the riverbank you played at together. maybe you should go see it?
caring cats - haikyuu_philia
synopsis: nekoma is family
disrupted meetings - sansos
synopsis: dr. tetsurou kuroo’s research group has transitioned to hosting meetings online. what could go wrong?
cat ears - just__j
synopsis: kuroo approaches you, captain of the girls club, with a proposition of a bet for the losing captain
kozume kenma
change the channel - alkale
synopsis: "i want to buy your game from you"
kodzuken does not have a girlfriend - bunnytime
synopsis: it has been a running joke that kodzuken lies about having a girlfriend for years now. needless to say, his fanbase is convinced he doesn’t really have a girlfriend
second place - yourqueenhasarrived
synopsis: kenma forgets your anniversary and once again pushes you aside for his gaming career. how much can you take?
an inconvenient crush - the_only_iris
synopsis: kenma has had the biggest crush on twitch streamer, (y/n). what happens when their paths cross?
learning process - nomazee
synopsis: you and kenma always had an interesting dynamic. kuroo found it nice for everyone involved
thank you for being a friend! - heichoe
synopsis: ”if it helps: when you gave kuroo head in high school, he said it was great"
yaku morisuke
who dares speak aloud these words (intended for the heart to speak) - sunmoonstarsrain
synopsis: yaku bursts into her life like a hurricane, even whilst akaashi lingers on like the memory of a summer breeze
artists eyes - teapots_and_teacups
synopsis: yaku was used to being ignored on the court
if only i were selfish - this noodle writes
synopsis: yaku was anything but a selfish man, but being selfless had cost him you once before. so, when he gets the chance to see you again, will he finally be selfish enough to try?
note: as you can tell, i'm trying a different recommendations style- what do you think? do you think i should switch back to the first one or is this one better? would love to know your thoughts
1K notes · View notes
nicsnort · 7 days
Text
Hello Neighbor
NSFW 18+ male werewolf x female reader Contains: vaginal sex, knotting, mentions of breeding, going into heat, desperate sex
Word count: 3,401 Lore/World Building Prompt
You're part of a study using an experimental skin cream. The effects have been interesting, but suddenly take a turn for the horny. Luckily, your werewolf neighbor is willing to help you out.
“Thank you,” the researcher said as she finished rubbing the experimental cream into your skin. “As always, contact us immediately if there are any sudden changes in your mental state or physical concerns. Please return for your next application next week.”
“Of course,” you replied with a smile. It had been four months since you started the trials, and you know the drill now. Honestly, this had been one of the best choices in your life. When you first saw the ad on social media looking for volunteers for a body-enhancing topical cream based on monster science, you thought it was a scam, especially when you saw that they were paying a hundred a week with a bonus of two thousand for those who completed the full six-month trial. But you took the risk, and damn was it paying off. All you had to do was be slathered in a topical cream every week, do a finger prick blood test daily at home, and submit a five-minute check-in about anything strange you noticed about your body or mind at the end of the day.
You weren’t sure what they were exposing you to; they couldn’t tell you as it could interfere with their results or something. Initially, you had experienced some mood swings and increased aggression. Still, it had settled down, and now the only noticeable effects were your sense of smell and hearing becoming more sensitive. It was sometimes annoying, given that you lived in an apartment complex, but it was not a huge hassle. 
Before heading home, you swung by the grocery store to pick up some milk and meat. That was something else; you had been craving meat a lot since this started. While walking around the grocery store, you noticed a minotaur and a naga looking at you with interest. A blush came to your cheeks. Could they smell the cream on you? Usually, you went right home after an appointment, so you had never been out in public - and certainly not around monsters. They have been increasingly common in the area since the segregation laws were overturned, allowing humans and sentient monsters to mix freely. The older folks who remembered the Great Incursion hated it, but you didn’t mind too much. Most monsters are just like humans, merely with different physicality and cultures…and magical powers half the time.
With groceries gathered, you quickly headed home. Walking towards your building, you saw your next-door neighbor—a werewolf. He moved in six months ago for work and spent most of his time in hybrid form. Apparently, he was from the other side of the Rift, so he never had to use his humanoid form. Honestly, you never understood how people said they found monsters that didn’t look human attractive until you met him with his thick mahogany fur, piercing golden eyes, full tail, and broad chest that was barely contained by his human-style clothes…you could have sworn he was flirting with you the first couple of months after he moved in. Yet, his interest fell off a few months ago. He stayed friendly, though.
“Good day, neighbor,” he greeted with a smile. “Need help with those?”
“Thanks, Darrick. That’d be great.” Maybe it was because he wanted to prove he wasn’t a threat, but Darrick was extremely friendly. According to the DMA guides, werewolves were very social monsters due to their pack instinct, so maybe it was just that.
He took the heavy meat-filled shopping bag from your arms while you carried the milk. As he did, you noticed his large, wet nose flare and his pointed ear turn forward with interest. Another blush came to your cheeks. He could smell that cream on you, couldn’t he? Though you had to admit, his scent today was marvelous. A deep, musky scent caused your blush to travel across your body, transforming into an aroused flush.
Entering the building, you were deeply aware of his presence behind you as you climbed the steps to the second floor. Even more so, with each sway of your hips, you were aware of how deeply aroused you had suddenly become. Your swollen lips rubbed against the cloth of your panties with each stair. You had been feeling sensitive the past few days, but why did your arousal spike now?!
You stopped outside your door. As you fumbled for your keys, you heard Darrick sniff rapidly, his hot body leaning over you, caging you against the door. Glancing back, you saw his long tongue flick out from behind his sharp teeth as though tasting the air. Your mind instantly flashed to what that tongue would feel like between your legs.
“I got it from here, thanks,” you told him, desperate to get away before you did something you regretted as the scent of his musk filled your nostrils.
Your voice seemed to jolt something in him. “Right, of course,” he bent down and put the bag down on the ground. But that was a mistake. His muzzle was right at your crotch now. The scent of your arousal certainly reached his wolven nose.
On instinct, Darrick pressed his nose against your crotch. You could feel his damp, heated breath through your jeans. His chest rumbled with a low growl, the vibrations reaching down his snout to your aching mound. A pleasured, wanting moan escaped your throat. You leaned against the door, your hips tilting up, legs spreading slightly, humping his muzzle lightly. His pointed canine teeth, barred together, provided a teasing friction against your clit.
CRACK!
You jumped at the sudden sound. Darrick had driven his claws into the wall, breaking the drywall. He wrenched his snout away from you with a pitiful whine, standing quickly and moving back. “I am so sorry! I wasn’t trying to stake a claim.”
“What,” you asked hazily, trying to shake your head of the lust. “A claim…”
“It has just been months since I have been around a woman in heat, and I lost control,” Darrick continued, not hearing your response at first. Then he paused while backing up a bit more. 
“Darrick, what do you mean by ‘a woman in heat’?” Even as you spoke, your eyes were drawn across him. There was a massive bulge straining his pants. Your inner walls clenched with desire.
“Sorry,” you apologize, tearing your eyes away and fumbling once more for the door. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I think it’s the cream. I need to report this to the researchers…”
Finally, you managed to open the door. Stumbling inside, you barely made it to the fridge to put away the milk. Shit, the meat. Heading back to the hall, half bent over in a vain attempt to avoid aggravating your burning crotch. Darrick was standing in the doorway, a look of concern fighting lust on his face. Not that you saw that for long as your half-bent over position put you right at his bulging groin. Your mouth parted in desire at the sight. The scent wafted to your nose. If it weren’t for Darrick catching your shoulder and holding you back, you would have desperately rubbed your face against the bludge.
“Control yourself, Darrick,” he growled to himself, pushing you back inside the apartment while bringing your groceries in and shutting the door. “You’re not a pup anymore.”
“Noooo,” you whined as he forced you to sit on the couch and stepped away to put the meat on the counter. As you watched him, your hand grabbed your breast through your shirt, massaging it. “You have to leave. If you stay, I’ll end up begging you to fuck me.”
As desperately horny as you had become, the admission did not embarrass you one bit. Darrick breathed out slowly, trying to control himself. “Where is your phone? I will call your mate. He shouldn’t be leaving you alone during your heat.”
“Mate,” you questioned. That word alone resonated with you. Yes, you wanted to mate. Fucked raw like an animal.
“Or husband, whatever term humans use. Whoever is the irresponsible wolf that has marked you with his scent so thoroughly and left you alone to deal with your heat.”
“I don’t know any other werewolves, Darrick,” you told him. The term heat was finally jogging your memory. “You’re the only one I’ve ever met. And humans don’t have a heat. I think whatever is happening has to do with the study I’m participating in. Some cream to enhance my body or something. They said arousal could be a side effect, but I didn’t think like this…”
Your hand wandered down to your pants. It slipped inside as you stroked yourself, trying to cool the ache there. Darrick stood stock still, completely focused on you, as your fingers stroked wildly. “You smell so good, Darrick. Please, you gotta leave before I jump you. Or else fuck me. I’ve dreamt about you bending me over my bed so many--”
Like a dam breaking, Darrick rushed over. His tall, fur-covered body bent over the couch, trapping you on it. “One last time,” he growled, barely able to restrain himself. “For clarity. The scent on you is this cream? Another werewolf has not mated you? And you want me to mate with you?”
You answered each question as he asked him. “Yes…No…Please, yes, fuck me, please!”
Without a spoken response, Darrick scooped you up in his arms. He carried you into your bedroom and dumped you on the bed. His chest heaved as took in deep, steadying breaths as though he was trying not to pounce on you immediately. Even as he did, his hands roamed over your shirt as he roughly tugged it off you. “I’m sorry, I’ll try to be gentle.”
“I don’t want gentle right now,” you told him, kicking off your shoes and hurriedly undoing your jeans. “I want you to fuck me with your fat cock until I’m satisfied.”
A primal growl of want escaped his throat. In two short movements, he removed your bra, his claws slicing it off, and tossed it away. Your skin was flushed with desire, nipples already hard with want. Darrick’s large paws covered your breasts, massaging them as he pushed you down against the bed. His long, hot tongue met your neck as he licked you ravenously. Every so often, you felt his pointed teeth scrape across your skin.
You moaned his name. Thrusting your hips upwards, you both tried to finish removing your jeans and gain friction on your needy hole. You managed the first one, but as your hands went to your dripping core, you found a better target. Darrick’s bulge strained against his pants. With deft fingers, you undid his pants and were just about to slip your hand inside his underwear to free him completely when he grabbed your hands. Pulling them above your head, he pinned you down, causing you to whine with displeasure.
“I need to mask that other scent first,” he growled. “Don’t want to smell another wolf. I need to cover you with my scent before I claim you.”
As desperate as you were to be fucked, his words touched a primal part of you, and now nothing sounded better than being marked by him. Inside and outside. Completely and utterly claimed. You wanted any creature who met you to know who you were mated to. That you were his.
Darrick’s muzzle slid down your neck to your chest. With one hand still pining your hands down, the other pressed between your legs. His rough fingers began to stroke, giving you both relief and teasing you as he avoided where you wanted him - his cock - the most. Sharp teeth delicately held your breast as he drew it into his mouth, his tongue lapping across your sensitive nipple. The thick pad of his thumb rubbed against your clit, the claws of his hand pressing into the flesh of your butt. 
A needy whimper escaped your throat. With the little space he left you between the bed and his hand, you lifted your hips invitingly.  “Please.”
“By Seluna, I need you,” he swore, pulling back. His nose twitched, the scent of your lust overriding any further complaints he might have had about the scent of the cream. You tried to follow him, pull him back down but his burning golden eyes pinned you in place.
Eyes hazy with lust, you watched him pull off his shirt. In his rush, his dangerous claws and sheer strength tore it off. Grabbing his already undone pants, he finally stood completely nude. Your eyes honed in on the long, red, throbbing cock between his legs. The tapered head glistened with precum in the sunlight peeking through your shades. Your core clenched with want.
“On your hands and knees,” he commanded, his words barely recognizable through the thick growl of want in his voice. Without hesitation, you turned around. Settling in the center of the bed, you were on your hands and knees, the aching desire between your legs presented to him.
A long moment passed where all you heard was the huff and puff of his breathing behind you. Then, a cold, wet nose pressed itself against your lower lips. You moaned. Darrick’s broad tongue lapped at the swollen flesh. Panting moans left you as the pleasure built. You were so close. Suddenly, his tongue slipped inside of you.
With a cry of pleasure, you came on his tongue. It wiggled inside of you as your body clenched around it. Finally, he withdrew, his muzzle covered in your juices. “Good mate,” he praised. “So, fertile and willing.”
He shook his head, barely returning to his senses enough to add, “You should take some night tea after, 'cause I’m gonna breed you now.”
“Yes,” you panted with joy. The orgasm took the edge off, but you needed more. Being bred sounded like the best thing in the world. Filled with his thick creamy cum.
Your bed dipped with his weight as he climbed on, positioning himself behind you. You felt the heat radiating off his turgid cock even before its heavy weight rested upon your hips. 
“Inside,” you pleaded, rocking your hips. His hands gripped your hips, claws digging in ever so slightly. 
“Spread,” he told you, and even in your current state, you could tell from his tone he was barely restraining himself. Eagerly, you obeyed, spreading your knees further apart. Darrick kept a firm grip on your hips as you did, forcing you to lower yourself onto your forearms. Now, you were fully presenting your dripping hole to him.
You felt the magnetic heat of his cock as he lined it up. As his thick length pressed inside, you whined with pleasure. “Yeesssss.”
The prick of his claws was barely enough to keep you from orgasming with just the tip of his cock inside of you. Inch by inch, he slid inside. You tried to press yourself back on him to take in more, but his strong grasp on your hips stopped you. “You’re gonna make me...” 
“Please, Darrick, breed me!”
With that plea, he snapped. Pulling back until just the tip was left, he slammed his hips forward. You screamed in pleasure. Unleashed, Darrick pounded into you wildly. Spurred on by the hormones of your heat, he rutted into you with only one thing on his mind: breeding his mate.
With each wild thrust, you could feel your body accepting more of him. His cock filled you up each time your inner walls stretched to take in more. You were moaning and panting with ecstasy. You weren’t even sure if you were orgasming, but the pleasure was overwhelming your mind. You could think of little else but his cock inside of you.
Releasing your hips, Darrick bent over your back. His large hands resting on either side of your head, holding your hands in place. The weight of him pinning you beneath him with no hope of escape - not that you wanted to. His hot breath caressed the sensitive skin of your neck and ear. The growl of his voice reverberated across your whole body. “I’m gonna knot you. Ruin you for human men. You want that, don’t you?”
You gave a whine of pleasure-drunk consent, unable to form words.
With a powerful thrust, you felt him hilt within you. His pointed cock pressed against your womb. Then you felt it. As the glands of his cock expanded, he stretched you. Thicker than anything that had been inside of you before. Yet, the pain of the stretching only added to your pleasure. Your nails dug into your sheets. It was too much. You were so close to breaking. You were…you were…
Your body exploded with ecstasy, juices gushing over his cock. Low, long moans, almost like howls, issued from your throat as you threw your head back. Your inner walls clenched powerfully around his knot, locking it within you.
Then it came. What your body was craving. Darrick threw his head back in a true howl as his thick hot cum filled your womb, searing its claim inside of you. His cum spurred your orgasm to even greater heights. Your eyes rolled back in your head, tongue lolling out, inner walls still clenching around him, drawing in every last ounce of cream. There was so much cum, you thought it would never end. You never wanted it to end. Yet, eventually, your bodies were spent.
Darrick’s knot still firmly resting inside of you, he rolled you both on your sides. His arms were around you, cradling you as you came down from the ecstatic high. His long, wet tongue tiredly but comfortingly lapped at your shoulder and neck.
While you still felt aroused, being filled with his cum and having a knot in you satisfied your primal urge to breed for now. After a few minutes, your mind started to return. What the fuck did you just do? What the fuck happened to you?
“Are you alright,” Darrick asked before you could voice your own concerns.
“Yes…I’m just confused…that’s never happened before. What is that cream doing to me?”
Darrick’s grip tightened around in comfort. “I think I know…there is this story the Elders tell. The first werewolves were created before the Division when our worlds were one. They were humans; warriors granted power by the spirits of nature to temporarily wield the spirit of the wolf to defend their homes. After the Division, the wolf's spirit was permanently bound to us. But we needed mates; most werewolves then were men, and the few that were women could not keep our populations going. So, the moon goddess Seluna took pity on us and let us transform others through sharing our essence…at first, all it required was for us to bite a human, but the sudden merging of wolf and human spirits drove many insane. Therefore, Seluna’s wife, Noctune, goddess of the night, took inspiration from her wife’s slow transformations each night. Sharing our essence would slowly introduce people - our mates or others we deemed worthy - to the wolf spirit so their humanity could adjust before it was made permanent. This also gave humans a chance to change their minds.”
“That’s a lovely story. So, you’re saying this cream is introducing me to werewolf essence? Wait, what is werewolf essence?”
Darrick chuckled a bit nervously. “Blood, saliva, and…” He gently thrust his hips, indicating his cum.
“Wait, so they’ve been covering me in werewolf - I hope - saliva? And that’s been changing my body?” You reeled at this new information. “Wait, so this is actually a heat?”
“Yeah. Usually, the exposure would be done by your mate, and you’d know what was going to happen, and they would help you through it.”
You were silent for a moment. “So, does this make us mates?”
Darrick chuckled nervously again. “We have mated, sure, and you’re going to need help getting through your heat. So, we can do it again. But, I mean, after, we don’t need to be…I mean, I think you’re pretty great. I was really disappointed when I thought you’d been claimed and--”
“I wouldn’t mind trying to date after you finish helping me through this,” you told him, cutting off his adorable ramble. “If you want.”
There were several loud thumps behind him as his tail wagged happily, hitting the bed. “I would like that.”
873 notes · View notes
felixandresims · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Hello Hello Hello :),
I swear it's a coincidence that EA just published a Book Nook kit, maybe they have seen my hint from last month :D, joking.
I am thrilled to show you this month's items, a 40-piece modular library. The bookshelves are traditional in style and perfect for a chateau setting, in my opinion :) The Bookshelf can be made from six pieces: two single-tile bookshelves, a 2-tile version, a rounded inside corner, an outside corner, and an extra decorative piece for separation. The bookshelves are full height and you will get short, medium, and tall versions. To spice up this library you will get ladders for the medium and tall versions.
Now let me reveal a little secret, I made functional secret book doors matching the shelves, I included arch versions too :) People were asking me to make them for years, but don't ask me why it took me so long to create them :D, I loved watching my testing sims walk through the book wall.
To fill up all the space I created 14 clutter items, 9 book pieces in two different styles and various sizes, 2 sculptures, 2 vases, and a box. I matched the slots to the dimensions of my items and everything can be mixed and matched quite well :)
This Set is on Early Access and you will find it here
Thank you again for all the support I hope you enjoy using this set!
Happy Simming and lots of Love,
Felix xxx
6K notes · View notes
martiniluvr · 6 months
Text
18+ minors dni
1,000 follower celebration!! I love u all wow. thank you for all your support, truly. be warned, this is long. enjoy 💫
warnings: nsfw alphabet for dick grayson and jason todd, so there’s a variety of things under the cut. please proceed with caution 🩷
★・・・★・・・★・・・★
A | Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
jason is very different after sex. it’s a major act of trust for him, so when it’s done, all he really wants is to be close to you. in other words: he’s a big cuddler. he’ll mumble some things into your skin as you run your fingers through his hair, and after, you usually end up ordering enough food to feed a small family, because that man can eat.
dick is a loverboy at heart. once the dust has settled and you’re both down from your highs, he’s doting on you—bringing you water, a snack, cleaning you up with a damp cloth—with doe eyes and a big old grin. always invites you to have a shower with him afterwards, and you always say yes, because his shoulder rubs are divine.
B | Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
unsurprisingly, jason has some…issues with his body from all the shit it’s been through. that being said, I think he intentionally trains his back and shoulders the most. it’s what makes him look as huge as he does. as for his favourite thing about you, jason todd is an ass man, argue with the wall. he likes something he can grab. hard.
dick grayson knows his ass is fat. he’s not shy about it. but his favourite body part is actually his arms, and how muscular they’ve become over the years. as for you, he loves your hips. they trigger something primal in him; the second you put on a fitted dress, he’s thinking about giving you his children.
C | Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
jason gets nasty. he’ll cum anywhere on your body just for the obscene sight, but he especially loves to cum in your mouth when he’s feeling that extra bit dominant. he doesn’t care if you spit or swallow, it turns him on either way—but, god, he’s proud when you open your mouth to show him it’s all gone.
let’s cut to the chase. dick wants to cum inside you over and over again. he hardly even contemplates doing it anywhere else; that man wants to fill you up and watch you drip. maybe it’s his out-of-control breeding kink, maybe it’s how intimate it feels—whatever the case may be, rest assured dick grayson loves a creampie.
D | Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
voyeurism. jason likes to watch. it happened accidentally once when he walked in on you practicing some self-care, and he’s thought about it ever since. he enjoys the performance aspect of it; it’s a power play, watching you get yourself off, knowing he’s right there but refusing to help you.
this ties in with Q, but dick borders on exhibitionism sometimes. fucking you in his car, in the bathroom at a charity event, or in a changing room—anywhere you might get caught, really—god, it gets him going. it’s the daredevil in him, constantly yearning to test the limits of what he can do.
E | Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
I think jason had very limited to no experience before his death, and most of what knows today he learned by being with you. ever the fast learner, though, he sure as shit knows what he’s doing now. I think he’s very in-tune with your body and his needs, and it shows in the way he fucks you.
we have to face facts here. dick definitely got around before committing to a serious relationship. despite that, I think he knows what he’s doing thanks to his impeccable observational skills; sometimes you think he knows your body better than you do (but don’t tell him that; it goes straight to his head).
F | Favorite position (this goes without saying)
jason is a sucker for good old-fashioned doggy style, of course, but fuck, does he adore the prone bone position. trapping you under his body, hitting you deep with each thrust, and he gets to watch your ass jiggle at every movement? it borders on religious ecstasy for him.
dick goes feral—feral—for the mating press position. it’s erotic, carnal, and raw, and that’s exactly what he wants when he’s fucking you. he’s also partial to cowgirl, especially when he can tell you want to take control. the view it offers him is enough to have him whining underneath you for more.
G | Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
jason is more on the serious side; sex with him, intense as it may be, is still a big act of vulnerability on his part, so he doesn’t treat it lightly. he will, however, crack a warm smile on those occasions when you make love in the small hours of the morning, when he thinks you can’t see his face clearly.
dick is a tease, and sex with him is fun. he likes to flirt with you while he bends you into compromising positions, and he gets very cocky when you cum. he can’t help but make little quips after the fact, either; “something wrong with your leg, baby?” as your limbs twitch and tremble from your orgasm. jerk.
H | Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
in keeping with his rugged exterior, jason is only doing what he needs to in order to keep things manageable and convenient. he is not dedicating hours to manscaping. much to your elation, that means he keeps his happy trail intact.
dick is a little more meticulous in his grooming, being the “pretty boy” that he is. he prefers keeping himself neatly trimmed, partly to ensure more comfort in his nightwing suit—he’s learned the hard way that the pornstar look is a one-way ticket to chafing when you’re jumping off of buildings.
I | Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
jason really restrains himself from being outwardly intimate. he finds it hard to be that vulnerable, and while he loves the passion between you when you fuck, he’s only really able to tap into the romantic aspect if he’s wholly at ease. that’s not to say it never happens! it definitely does, just give him time.
he may be cocky and unserious when he’s fucking you, but sex with dick is always very openly intimate. he sees the beauty and romance in what you do together, and it’s truly special to him that he gets to witness you like this. sex is absolutely one of the ways he expresses his love and admiration for you.
J | Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
jason only really masturbates when he’s away from you on a mission, and needs to take the edge off. it’s less interesting without you, so he wants it done quick. he imagines you touching yourself as he does it—legs wide and eyes hazy—and that gets him to his peak extremely efficiently.
dick likes to edge himself. I said what I said. he’s thinking about how he’d much rather save his load for your pretty cunt, so he’s bucking his hips and screwing his eyes shut as he forces himself to stop right before his climax, reminding himself how good it’ll feel when he gets to fill you up.
K | Kink (one or more of their kinks)
overstimulation is jason’s go-to; he gets off on dragging orgasm after orgasm out of you until you’re hardly able to speak. he also loves forced eye contact, especially when you can barely keep your eyes open. oh, and he has a massive size kink. when you’re as huge as he is, everyone is small by comparison, and he likes how big you make him feel.
say it with me. dick grayson has a breeding kink. the visual aspect of cumming inside you is enough to drive him crazy, but the thought of getting you pregnant…now that makes him rabid. face-sitting is another big one; any variation of pussy-eating drives him wild, but having you sit on his face is his favourite way to do it.
L | Location (favorite places to do the do)
if you’re at home, anywhere is fair game to jason. he’s fucking you in the kitchen, in the bedroom, on the sofa, against the wall, in the office—anywhere. outside of home, he’s more restrictive, but he has thought about fucking you in the batmobile on the many occasions he’s stolen it.
the bedroom is definitely dick’s favourite place to fuck you; aside from making things feel more romantic, he wants you to be comfortable as he’s bending you into crazy positions. he also loves a shower quickie and car sex, impractical though they may be. don’t worry, he’s an acrobat. it’ll work.
M | Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
is it crazy to say that jason gets turned on when you argue? because he does. a moderate disagreement where you’re getting huffy with him is a surefire way to get bent over the sofa. oh, and if he feels even a little jealousy creeping over him, you’re in for a ride. also, if you nestle into him during the night, you’ll be contending with his hard cock pressed against your lower back until one of you caves.
dick is whipped. whatever you’re doing can get him going. cooking, reading, wearing his clothes—he loves everything you do. but, he’s particularly turned on whenever you dress up for a special occasion. it can be a little inconvenient when you’re running late for an event and he’s groping you over your gown in the limo, but how can you refuse those blue eyes?
N | No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
jason would be very resistant to anything that puts him in a submissive role (this goes for ak!jason too). this includes both sex acts and the use of props/toys that take control away from him; he’s just not into it. he’d also refuse any kind of roleplay, saying it’s unnecessary. he’s a pragmatic guy.
I think dick would really dislike the idea of hurting you. he’s not opposed to spanking, and he’ll even engage in some light breath play (ahem, headlock, anyone?), but he would never take it any further than that. if he bruised you through anything other than hickies, he’d be sick with guilt.
O | Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
it should come as no surprise that jason loves receiving head. there are few sights as enticing as watching you take his cock in your mouth while he instructs you to keep your eyes on him. he’s also very skilled in returning the favour, and his preference is eating you from the back so he can see your pretty ass move each time you squirm.
you know my stance on this. dick is a munch. he’s eating pussy like it’s his last meal before the end of the world, and he’s doing it for him. needless to say, he’s fucking good at it. receiving head is quite literally the last thing on his mind. that being said, when he does remember to let you reciprocate, all he can think about is how pretty you look while doing it.
P | Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
jason can get pretty rough, and he likes to fuck you hard, but he knows how much you can take. sex for him is partially an emotional release. but, he’s good at alternating between destroying you one day and being gentle the next; despite his tough facade, jay enjoys soft, passionate sex as much—if not more—than you do.
dick is kind of a hedonist; once he starts feeling pleasure, he doesn’t want it to end—especially when you start feeling it too. he’s happy to give you fast and rough if it’s what you want, but his preference is sloppy, erotic fucking. the messier you get, the better. although, if he’s got you in a mating press, the roughness seeps back in quickly.
Q | Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
while he’ll never say no to a quickie, jason prefers to take his time with you. once he starts, he finds it hard to stop, and he loves to see how much you can take from him before you’re spent. quickies are sporadic with him; he prefers to enjoy your body at his pace.
if he gets the chance to fuck you—hell, even just tease you—dick is going to take it. he loves the thrill and the sense of urgency that comes with quickies. whether it’s a hookup in his car or an impromptu blowjob when he’s supposed to be on patrol, his eyes are lighting up like it’s christmas.
R | Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
jason is not a risk-taker. he needs time to warm to any kind of experimentation, but he’s more likely to try things on you than on himself, like using light restraints on you or dabbling in sensory play. as long as he feels he has some control.
dick is a different story. he’s willing to try most things at least once, and he’s able to laugh it off if something goes south. he’s not opposed to switching (ha) things up and giving you the lead, either; he likes a woman in charge.
S | Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
maybe it’s his extensive training, maybe it’s just who he is; whatever the case may be, jason can go for a long time. but, it’s usually just one round that he draws out so he can really work you to your limit.
dick can handle multiple rounds if you give him time. his recovery consists of burying his face between your legs until he’s ready to go again, which doesn’t take very long once you start convulsing against his tongue.
T | Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
jason wouldn’t even think to use sex toys unless you brought it up, but he’d be open to using them on you if you asked. he’s quick to see the potential in your little pink vibrator when he holds it against your clit while he fucks you, noticing how much easier it is to overstimulate you this way.
ever the experimentalist, dick isn’t opposed to trying out toys in the bedroom. in fact, he’s the one who would show up with fuzzy blue handcuffs (“I got them in my colour!”) to restrain your hands behind your back, so he can devour your cunt without interference from you.
U | Unfair (how much they like to tease)
he’d like to tease you more, but jason doesn’t really have the restraint for it. as soon as you’re splayed out in front of him, he wants to take you. when he does tease, though, he likes to touch you everywhere but where you need him most, until you’re begging for him to make you feel good. then, he likes to make you regret it—over and over again.
dick is the world’s biggest tease, and you can look that up. he’s got you grinding on his lap, making out with you until you’re panting, only to say he needs to do some work as he stands up with a smirk. and when he finally gets you naked, he makes you tell him what you need while his fingers hover over your aching pussy, never reaching you.
V | Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
jason isn’t very loud at all, but the sounds he does make range from grunts and groans to the occasional low moan if you tug at the hair on the nape of his neck. he’s a big dirty talker, and he likes to get up in your ear to do it, so he knows you’re listening. he notices the way you shiver at his gravelly voice, and it drives him crazy.
dick is far less concerned about being quiet. he’s moaning, swearing, telling you how pretty you are, even occasionally whining, and he’s not worried about what your neighbours think—in fact, he’s making sure you’re just as vocal as he is, insisting you tell him how you feel. he’s also expressive when he cums, especially when he does it inside you.
W | Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
I know this is controversial, but jason would never agree to a threesome. this man is possessive. the mere thought of seeing someone else touch you in front of him is enough to make him see red, so no—he’d end up committing murder (not that it’s a far leap for him on a good day).
dick has a thing for watching you work out, especially when you’re doing yoga in the living room in those skin-tight pants. watching the way your limbs elongate and contract as you bend and stretch does things to him, but he never interrupts; the images stay in his mind for those long missions.
X | X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
jason is a behemoth of a man all over. and I do mean all over. he’s packing. an easy 8 inches (slightly more), thick, with a slight upwards curve and a prominent vein from the base to the tip—which is a mauvy pink, by the way. you’re still shocked you’re able to take him, and he was too the first time.
‘prettiest man alive also has a pretty cock’ would be dick’s headline. just over 6 inches, with enough girth to make you feel full, and a rosy pink tip that matches his lips…you could honestly just stare at it if he’d let you (and he probably would). he fits you like a glove every single time.
Y | Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
jason’s sex drive is pretty consistent; it’s always simmering a little ways below the surface. he’s able to compartmentalise it when he has to, but sex doubles as a form of stress-relief for him, so it happens…often.
dick has an incredibly high sex drive. like jason, he can reel it in when needed, but if it were up to him, you’d fuck every single day, twice even. I also truly believe that he’s regularly plagued by morning wood.
Z | Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
he’s going to make sure you’re comfortable and taken care of, but the truth is jason could probably pass out in your arms about 10 minutes after you’re done. take it as a sign of how safe he feels with you as he’s snoring softly into your neck.
he’s definitely tired after sex, but dick is waiting until he notices you dozing off before he closes his eyes. once he’s out, though, good luck waking him up again without an air horn. he’s going to need his full eight hours to recharge.
2K notes · View notes
harstyle · 8 months
Text
the styles’ nanny
Summary: Y/N is a twenty-three year old uni student and Harry is a thirty-six year old single dad. Y/N is a part-time nanny and Harry is her employer. Y/N thinks Harry is hot, and Harry… well, he’s a bit confused.
Pairing: plussize-nanny!yn + older-singledad!harry
Word-count: 7.3k
Warnings: age gap (13 years), mentions of alcohol and drinking and lashing out during an argument, no happy ending yet
A/N: I don’t know why I keep writing characters that start out insecure but I swear it’ll get better later!! Let me know if you want to read more, I’m thinking maybe three parts? Also, the fact that y/n is plus-size doesn’t really become a big deal in the story, but that was how I originally had her in mind so I’m leaving it that way. Hope you enjoy!
Tumblr media
Y/N was twenty three. She was twenty three, and she used to love being twenty three. She used to love going out to party, the feeling of alcohol burning down her throat, the rush of palpable excitement when having sex with people she’d never met before. She used to love that. But she didn’t anymore.
And the reason for that? One Harry Styles.
It was ridiculous, of course; Harry had other companions he could turn to before ever settling on her— oh and not to mention, he was her boss. Yet, it felt daring, like that time she’d fallen in love with her biology teacher or looked differently at her camp instructor in high school. Authority figures did something to her brain, and Harry was no different.
But of course there was a lot at stake and she would never actually approach the idea; it was a fantasy at most. And she thought… as long as she didn’t act on her brain’s poisoning, it would be fine.
“Y/N, did you hear me?”
“Oh,” she was snapped back to her current state following the short distraction, the butter knife in her hand now seeming more dangerous than when she’d held it seconds before. “Sorry, Harry, what was that?”
She swore she could see an amused smile tugging at his lips for a brief second. She’d always wondered what he thought of her.
“Are you free next Thursday? I have this meeting until late and I doubt I’ll be home for dinner—I was thinking you could maybe put Jamie to bed? You can stay the night if it’s too late to catch a train, or just take the other car?”
Y/N’s work day at the Styles’ house ended at five pm most days in time for Harry to get home, but she did adore Jamie, so staying longer wasn’t remotely an issue.
“That’s okay, I can just stay the night like I did last time, if that’s alright?”
Harry had insisted when she’d begun working for him that she have a room in the house where she could take naps to rest or stay the night all together when it got too tiring to catch the train home, and the notion of it had pulled at her heartstrings. He was very considerate and that was rare in bosses.
Harry shook his head, waving her off with ease, “course it’s okay.”
“Great. I should get home, I have an important test coming up tomorrow. Am I good to go?”
He glanced at the clock, noticing how late it had gotten (he’d offered to cook dinner and Y/N had never been one to reject hot men’s company) and cursed quietly to himself. “I’ll drive you.”
“Oh no Harry, really, it’s okay!”
“It’s almost eight and I feel uneasy whenever I send you away in the dark. Sides, I’m sure Jamie will love a late road trip to your flat,” he reassured with a smile, standing up as if to restrict her getting a choice and starting to load the plates into the dish washer. “Grab your coat and I’ll wait by the door. I’ll get Jamie.”
Y/N did love the way he asserted his wishes to her, kind but dominant in his decisions. He didn’t let her deter him and she, for one, didn’t mind it at all.
“Okay, thank you.”
“No problem, love.”
“Can I please just get one scoop? Please?”
“I’m sorry, buddy, we just don’t have any ice cream! I would let you have it if we did, but we don’t. Is there any other snack you’re interested in?”
Jamie was being fussy today and Y/N couldn’t figure out why. He’d been happy when she’d picked him up from school, raving on about his art teacher’s praise on a drawing he’d done with the widest grin resting lazily on his small lips. It had been at around three that he’d started whining at her, not wanting to eat even though he’d requested the grilled cheese and flicking through about twenty channels until he’d finally settled on not watching anything at all. Y/N had figured he was tired, but he didn’t want to sleep either, so she was left thoroughly baffled trying to find ways to tame his mood.
But he wouldn’t stop. He wouldn’t stop whining and crying, wouldn’t stop flailing his tiny arms and legs, wouldn’t stop pouting at her. Jamie had the best behaviour Y/N had ever seen on a boy, really, so this behavior worried her. “I just want ice cream!”
“Jamie, we don’t have any ice cream. How about I get you ice cream tomorrow, hm? And today we’ll have something else? Come on, remember how we learned about compromise?”
Y/N was trying, pulling Jamie into her lap to comfort him even though he didn’t care for any of it. His face was red and angry and nothing she said registered in his brain. He cried into her shoulder instead, gripping at her sides in terror. “You’re being mean to me.”
“Hey, that’s not very nice, I’m trying to help you bud.”
“Please, I just want ice cream.”
It was kind of cute how even in his state of devastation, he still managed to be polite to her.
“And I hear you, Jamie, but we don’t have any right now. Will you settle for Oreos? Or chocolate?”
He merely shook his head.
Y/N breathed a grateful sigh when she heard the front door being unlocked, still bouncing Jamie up and down in her lap in hopes that he’d settle down just a bit. She was sure Harry’d heard the crying from the front door because his steps were fast and his expression of concern clear.
“What’s wrong, bub?”
Jamie reacted with a devastating whine, calling for his dad and reaching his arms out begging to be carried. Harry shot Y/N a look of mixed confusion and apology, leveling the boy out from inside of her lap. He mouthed the question she knew he’d been thinking and felt bad when all she could offer in return was a shrug because she knew it wasn’t the ice cream anymore
Harry sung in whispers into his ear in the hopes of calming him, bouncing him around on the spot. He pressed kisses to his forehead, drawing circles on his back. It worked better than when Y/N had done it, Jamie’s sobs having soothed into few hiccups and sniffles.
Y/N couldn’t help but admire how naturally skilled Harry was at being a father. She knew a little bit of the history— his fiancée at the time leaving him for another man months after having given birth to Jamie and having to raise him by himself. He was a busy man and Y/N could often tell that he felt bad about being unable to do things like pick up his son from preschool or spend all day playing in the den, but he was still a better father than hers had ever been. He was a great father.
Not long after his crying had died down, Jamie fell asleep in Harry’s arms. Y/N finally breathed a sigh, relieved to catch a break. She loved taking care of Jamie, but jesus had today been hard. Harry carried him up to his bedroom, careful as to not bother him and advised Y/N to wait for him to come back.
Whilst Harry was putting Jamie to bed, she decided to clean up a bit. She went through the array of toys Jamie had taken out and discarded after a short minute of playing with them, and placed them back in the drawers. A smile tugged at her lips when she saw the dino plush toy she’d gifted him when she’d first started working for this family months ago— he still played with it all of the time. In fact, Harry had once sent her a photo of it sitting next to him in the car when they’d gone on vacation in the summer. She recalled tearing up because of it.
“Hi, sorry for taking so long.”
She swore she almost jumped in reaction to his thick voice, gripping the plush tightly against her chest in shock. Harry allowed himself a chuckle, raising his arms just enough to surrender. “Sorry, should’ve knocked.”
Y/N’s only response was a forced chuckle. It still felt weird to be in a room with him by herself, without the presence of a cute five year old to tend to. It was moments like these she felt guilty about fancying him. Most of the time Harry was merely a ghost around the house and whenever he settled back in, she would leave. She rarely ever had time to utter more than a quick ‘see you tomorrow’ and rush off home. It wasn’t like he was there, so her thoughts about him didn’t seem too off putting— now, with the company of awkward silence engulfing them, she couldn’t help but feel disgusted by herself.
“Think he’s getting sick,” he then added.
“Probably,” she agreed. “I don’t think I’ve seen him like that before so it was just a bit worrisome.”
“Yeah, he only really gets like that when he’s sick, so I think it’s safe to say… you’re alright, though?”
“I’m fine, just a bit worried, as I said.”
He smiled like he found that amusing, “he’ll be okay. Are you hungry? I was going to make pasta for dinner.”
“Oh, are you sure?”
Last time she’d had dinner here, Jamie had sat next to her. It hadn’t been just her and him.
“Yeah. Why don’t you put the dino down and we’ll go make it together?”
In an instant, her cheeks heated up. She hadn’t even noticed she was still clutching to it for support and figured he must’ve thought she looked so stupid welcoming the comfort of a plush toy. Another awkward chuckle escaped her as she threw it gently into its container, bucking down to lock it away as well as her memory of these last two minutes, hopefully.
Harry was a good cook, but that wasn’t really surprising at all— in fact, she couldn’t imagine there were many things he wouldn’t excel at. Y/N, on the other hand, she was terrible. She’d burned so many things in her apartments kitchen that she couldn’t keep count even if she tried. So naturally, he took the lead in every task she did, from cutting onions to seasoning the salmon.
“Wait, no, y’can’t— here,” she couldn’t help but giggle as he took the knife from her hands, cutting into the flesh himself. He huffed, but she knew it was teasing. “You’ve gotta learn how to cook.”
“I know how to cook basic things, just not some five star gourmet meal. I think you’d be surprised what I can do with some seasoning, eggs and tomatoes.”
“I have no choice but to take your word for it, do I?”
“Guess not. Can I do something else? I feel so useless.”
He clicked his tongue, not even sparing a glance her way. “Go sit on the counter and look pretty.”
And at first, Y/N didn’t know how to respond to that. Did she just… literally sit on the counter? Probably not. It was… a joke, right? How did he expect she would react to such a bizarre request? For a second the guilt she’d been feeling about potentially being unprofessional subsided in a flush.
Then he finally let his eyes settle on her and she just about fainted at what he had to say, “what? Do you need help getting up?”
She was 99% sure at this point that he just got off on pestering her, what with the dino, and now this? Prior to these last two weeks he’d never even spoken more than five words to her, and now he was inviting her to dinner. He probably found the confusion written all over her face amusing.
She could probably indulge a little then, right?
“Yeah, I do.”
He didn’t just laugh, though, like she’d expected him to— no, he ran his hands under hot water, wiped his hands on his (very) expensive trousers and walked toward her. He motioned to the counter as if asking her to get closer and—
“Wait, no, I can do it.”
He immediately stepped back, hands dropping from her waist and smirk molding his mouth.
“You can now?”
“Yes.”
He held eye contact for a few more beats before moving away with a solid nod.
What the fuck was that?
Y/N had expected him to dismiss her, uttering something along the lines of ‘I was only joking’, but that? Never would she have thought that that would be the response.
It was funny, too, because he never could’ve carried her up without at least a bit of struggle. She knew what he was used to— thin women, supermodels even, and she was neither.
So despite the confusion, she got up on the counter like he’d asked. On her own.
And when he’d started asking her about normal things like family and uni, Y/N slowly eased out of her awkward stance. She told him about her mother, her brother, and left her deceased father out of it. He smiled, nodding along to her words whenever the situation allowed it and kept his eye on the food.
A blink was all it took for him to announce dinner and the two of them sat at the table together, peacefully quiet.
It was around six thirty when the patter of tiny feet sounded through the house, from the stairs to the kitchen. Both of the adults waited patiently, eyebrows raised in surprise that the little gremlin had decided to wake up after only having slept for two hours.
“Daddy?”
Y/N almost melted at his sweet, buttery voice.
Harry hummed, “is that you, bub?”
He finally poked his head into the room, carrying a plush toy in one hand and rubbing his sleepy eyes with the other. He studied the room before settling his green irises (clone of his dad’s) on Y/N.
“Y/N, you’re still here.”
She smiled, a pity smile, and answered in a sweet tone, “I am, bud. Is that okay?”
He merely nodded, stalking closer. Harry pulled him up into his lap, kissing his forehead before letting him rest against his front.
“I wanted to apologize for being mean before.”
Her stomach did another flip.
Was this a dream, or did a five year old just apologize to her on his own incentive? She swore these Styles boys surprised her every day!
Her eyes flickered to Harry and she watched as a proud smile stretched his mouth. He met her gaze, the grin undeniably wide, and shrugged as if to say didn’t tell him to.
“That’s okay, Jamie, I understand you were frustrated. Are you feeling better?”
He nodded again, although it was weak and subtle, “my throats itchy.”
Harry’s smile faded with his confession and he pressed the back of his palm to his son’s forehead, “why’d you get out of bed, then, silly? You need to rest if you’re sick.”
“Missed you, daddy.”
She could see that same guilt she’d seen so many times before manipulate Harry’s features again, and her heart broke a little bit for him. She couldn’t keep track of the amount of times she’d wanted to just break and say you’re a wonderful father to him, but stopped herself in fear of overstepping.
Knowing he wasn’t going to say anything soon enough, too lost in his own thoughts, she went on for him. “Tomorrow is Saturday, Jamie, how about you go rest so you can have a full day with your dad tomorrow? S’not nice spending weekends sick in bed, as you know.”
In a manner that was so much more than cute, Jamie’s fingers trapped his chin to appear deep in thought, and then he nodded. “That makes sense.”
Y/N almost laughed, “doesn’t it?”
“Will you be here too, Y/N?”
Jamie knew very well that Y/N wasn’t here on Saturdays, so she guessed he was only implying that she should be. An invitation of sorts.
But she really couldn’t handle being around Harry on the weekends as well as on weekdays, so she shook her head gently, “no, but I’ll be back on Monday, is that okay with you?”
To show his dismay, he jutted his lip out in a pout. “Can’t you come over for lunch?”
Harry nudged him, “Jamie, remember how we talked about what Y/N does when she isn’t here with us?”
“School. But there’s no school on Saturdays!”
“She does school, you’re right. When you get older, there’s so much you have to do for school that it never stops, not even on weekends. And you know what else she does? She meets up with friends, she plays tennis, she goes shopping for groceries. There’s tons she has to do besides spend time with us, yeah?” He never met her gaze as he spoke to Jamie, and it was better that way— he’d probably have caught her loved up eyes if he dared to do it. He remember details about her she didn’t recall telling him about. As if it hadn’t been enough, he added onto it, “plus, I reckon she’d appreciate a break from us, huh? We’re definitely not the only boys in her life, so we should share once in a while. No matter how much we like having her around.”
It was almost magical, the connection Harry and Jamie shared with each other. Nevermind what he’d said to make Jamie understand (she definitely hadn’t missed that last sentence— or the idea of ‘other boys’ altogether), it just made her happy to listen to them converse. It was healthy, a bit serious when need be but mostly light and protective. He did everything in his power to preserve Jamie’s innocence, especially about his upbringing and the whole mother issue.
After a long train of thought, Jamie slowly nodded his small head, “okay. Fine. But I get you Monday! No other boys Monday through Friday.”
Y/N couldn’t help the laugh that tumbled from her mouth, incessant and silly. “Okay, Jamie, I promise I won’t let other boys come between us Monday through Friday, okay? Is that good for you?”
“Me and daddy, though. He’s the only other boy allowed.”
She giggled again, avoiding Harry’s gaze but nodding nonetheless, “sure. Daddy too.”
She felt Harry shift out of her periphery.
“Okay,” he finally settled, outstretching his arm across the table, “pinky promise?”
She did the same, but just before Jamie had a chance to interlink his much smaller finger with hers, she pulled back. “If I pinky promise you on this, will you pinky promise me that you’ll finally go rest?”
He hummed in agreement.
She welcomed the promise, letting her finger link with Jamie’s for a few seconds until he felt ready to let go.
“Now go lay down. I’ll see you Monday, okay?”
“Kay. Can I have a hug?”
“Of course,” she cooed at him, arms already outstretched the moment he’d climbed down from Harry’s lap. Jamie gave the best hugs, so she figured Harry would as well. She’d never gotten to test that theory, though. “Okay, good night.”
“Night.”
Jamie took slow steps (he was much like his father that way, taking his time in everything he did) and slowly disappeared into the main room, eventually stalking up the stairs as both Y/N and Harry listened for it.
“Thank you,” Harry then broke the silence. Her eyes flickered toward him, eyebrows drawing together in confusion, but a nervous smile playing on her mouth. “You’re so good with him.”
“It’s my job to be good to him.”
“It’s your job to take care of him, but you’re not… you’re doing much more than just be nice to him and I appreciate that. So thank you.”
“He’s a great kid, so… not a very difficult thing to do.”
The air had somehow become thick and unwavering, unspoken words wafting between their bodies across the table and back. Harry looked like he wanted to say more but his jaw stayed shut in place and she certainly wasn’t going to pester him about it. It was already difficult to keep in mind that despite the lighthearted dinner, he was still her employer, and that the boundaries they had been practicing since the beginning of her time here were slowly being blurred and tested.
So it didn‘t really matter what she felt whenever he spoke to her, she had to preserve herself and her position here.
She feigned a glance at the clock to justify looking away and sat up in her chair, “I should go home.”
His nod was curt, “okay. I’ll get the keys.”
“No, don’t worry, I have to stop by somewhere else before. I’ll manage.”
It was a lie, of course it was.
“Fine.”
As Y/N made her way back outside, she regretted declining his offer and the farther she walked away from the house, the more she thought about the things they could’ve talked about had she let him grab his keys and escort her home. If he would walk her to the door like last time, without Jamie in the car of course, and bid her a proper goodbye. How maybe, if they’d inched close enough, they would share a moment of hesitation before kissing. Her imagination ran wild with it and she knew that it wouldn’t really happen, but the chances would’ve been greater had she just been bad.
Shit.
Y/N was crying.
She was bursting into tears outside of a bar looking like a pathetic, lost idiot— and it just wouldn‘t stop. She couldn’t recall anymore what exactly she‘d expected before going into the date she‘d spontaneously agreed to as a result of her mother‘s pleas, but it certainly hadn‘t been such an embarrassing let down. Her shoulders slumped as she thought back on her date‘s words: I don’t see this going anywhere, but you’re a really nice girl. Friends?
And why was she crying? She was crying because she knew what he’d really meant was: you’re not my type at all, and this was a waste of my time. How did she know? The way he’d looked at her, with a sparkle of disgust in his eyes, the tone he’d used; pitiful and mean. How he’d looked at other, skinny girls while Y/N had been planted directly in front of him and lastly, how he’d left before the date had even ended.
Y/N hadn’t left the bar as soon as he had, no, she’d stayed until now; closing time. She’d drunk herself to exhaustion, pulling shot after shot and even worrying the barista who went to her psych class at uni. Before she’d known it, the clock had struck three am and four hours had passed since what’s-his-face had left her to rot in there.
She had no idea what to do, she could barely even form a thought. It didn’t matter that she’d been rejected— this wasn’t about that, it was about something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Since the beginning of time relationships had been sparse and dreadful, so another notch on her belt couldn’t have mattered so much as to bring her to a multitude of tears, but she did feel unlovable and undesirable in the way she had throughout all of her life. People had told her things would get better if she waited it out, but they’d lied. Guys were still assholes.
There was really only one person she felt like contacting, and that was Harry. He’d been on her mind all weekend. She’d been wondering if she ever crossed his mind, if for a sliver of a second he allowed himself to think about her in the way she thought about him, and felt a disgustingly sour taste in her mouth when she realized the answer had to have been no.
But Y/N was drunk, and people did stupid things when they were drunk— so without much afterthought, she used the remainder of her battery on dialing his number. He answered after the first ring and her mind wandered to question the plausibility of him being awake at this hour.
“Y/N?”
She was struck watching the road in front of her, unable to answer. Her mouth opened, but nothing came out.
What had she done?
“Y/N, is everything okay?” another wave of tears overwhelmed her senses and as a result, she sobbed right into the speaker, and heard shuffling on the other side. “Sweetheart, where are you? What’s happened?”
“This guy— he just— he was so mean and he left me here—“
“Where? Where are you? Who left you?”
“The viper.”
“Y/N, that place closed twenty minutes ago. Are you inside?”
“No, she… she said I need to get out, so I did, but I didn’t know where to go cause m’drunk, and I…” there was a pause in which she realized how stupid he must’ve thought she was, “I don’t know what to do.”
“Okay, listen to me. Please stay there, don’t move, and send me your location. I’m coming to get you.”
She had no fight left in her, so she nodded to herself. Harry didn’t see, obviously, but he hung up with the hope that she’d understood him clearly.
When he arrived not fifteen minutes later, he put his car in park and hopped out to find Y/N sat on the floor, a lazy smile pulling at her lips when she laid eyes on him.
“Harry, hi! I was just thinking about you!”
He said nothing, a tick in his jaw as he helped her up on her feet, grounding her stature. She nuzzled her head into his shoulder and he kept a steady beat to bring her to warmth as quickly as possible. Y/N got the idea, aimlessly buckling up and failing miserably until he offered assistance.
“Thank you,” she murmured to him, though he refused to give a verbal response. He merely nodded, jaw still locked in place before he closed the door. Y/N watched as he walked over to the other side and opened the door.
He drove in silence and Y/N tried to be okay with that. She stared ahead, mind still gloomy, with her lips jutted out in a pout. The silent treatment made her feel like a scolded child, like Harry was her angry father who refused to speak to her because she’d come home past her bedtime. She looked over to scan over his features, make sure the crease between his forehead had subsided at least a little, but it hadn’t.
After the longest minute of her life, she finally asked, quietly, “are you mad at me?”
And when he didn’t say anything, her heart dropped.
“Oh,” she whispered.
Y/N didn’t dare to say anything for the rest of the ride. When they got back, Y/N opened her own door and hopped out, refusing to wait for Harry to help. He sighed, she could hear, but she just slowly trailed after him.
“Up on the counter,” he grumbled, grabbing a glass of water to help sober up. She took it from his hand.
“Harry, I’m sor—“
“Drink the water.”
She almost flinched at his angry tone.
Y/N was halfway done with the glass when he scoffed, unable to bite his tongue any longer, “I’m angry because you were irresponsible. First you go on a date with some dickhead—“ she opened her mouth to protest, but failed to when he put up a finger to halt her, “then you get yourself drunk and sit outside of the bar alone in a stingy area. Something could’ve happened to you, then what?”
All Y/N could say was, “it didn’t,” and it was the weakest argument she could’ve thought of.
“It very well could’ve and you’d have your stupidity to thank for it.”
Her heart banged again. She didn’t like getting reprimanded by Harry, nearly at the end of her rope anyway. She‘d never seen this side of him before, stern and miserly. Clearly Y/N had only really seen one version of him and had gotten lost in the illusion of it all.
In a last attempt to make him understand, vulnerable and naked, she let herself sniffle, “I don’t think anyone is ever going to love me.”
She‘d expected it to pull at her heartstrings more than it ended up doing— ironically enough, she felt fine confessing to him. Maybe it was the fact that she‘d bottled it up for so long that it was nice to finally admit to it, to allow somebody else to step into her shoes. Of course, every confession came with a tinge of embarrassment (it wouldn’t be a confession otherwise), but this one was still manageable. And yeah, maybe it was the alcohol coursing through her system, but who cared?
“What?”
“No one loves me. I’ve never… guys have never liked me enough to want to brag about it, or keep me around for longer than a month, and… and I do get it, cause I come with a shit ton of baggage, but it just… it takes a lot to be motivated about things that way. I’m twenty three and I’ve barely experienced what it means to love someone and actually have them love you back.”
The display of vulnerability floated heavily through the air.
He was silent for a second. He did that sometimes, she noticed, especially when he was processing things.
Once he did open his mouth, though, he knew exactly what to say, “you can’t let some immature boys get to you like this, you hear me? Tell me one good asset the guy you went on a date with had.”
Y/N shook her head, not because she couldn‘t have if she‘d thought about it hard enough but because she had no energy to continue this conversation any longer. He wouldn’t get it
“See? No guy is worth crying over, especially not on some dirty pavement outside of a bar.”
He truly did have a point there, she supposed.
But it wasn’t just about that, so she told him exactly that— well, at least tried to, “it’s more than… I don’t… I don’t feel good enough.”
“You’re being a bit silly, sweetheart.” She registered how sweet he’d gotten again, finger brushing against her knee and features softening just enough to convince her of safety. He probably felt bad for her. “You’re plenty good enough.”
“Y’don’t get it,” she murmured, “you don’t understand what it feels like to get rejected solely because of your looks.” Y/N had always felt slightly weird talking about her appearance with people who weren’t her closest friends, and even then she felt judgment coming from them. Each time they asked if she would come clubbing with them to score boys, she was never able to honestly express that she‘d never wanted to go because it was always her who was left riding home in an uber alone. And it wasn’t like she felt ugly— in fact, there were instances she felt so confident nobody could’ve told her anything, but then there were those few others… and her whole system came down crashing.
“What do you mean?”
He couldn’t be so daft, could he?
“You’re— you just don’t fucking get it, okay? It’s… whatever, I don’t care.”
That took some courage too, courage she only registered after having uttered the words, but she couldn’t say it. She couldn’t mutter the words this guy didn’t fancy me because I’m fat, because she still had more class than that— even drunk. Ever the childish, pouty person she was, she had more shame than that.
She buried her face in her hands, breathing out, “I’m sorry. Sorry, that was rude of me.”
“It’s fine,” he placed a warm hand on her thigh, thumb stroking soothingly. With a sympathetic look in his eye (confusion too, she guessed), he tried to pacify her concerns, “you need sleep, everything will be better when you wake up.”
He was probably right about that.
“Okay.”
As he escorted her up the stairs, she couldn’t help but let her eyes trail over his features, watching as they hardened and softened based on the turmoil occurring inside of his mind. She wanted to reach in there and grab onto clues, grasp an understanding of the workings of him, but he made that nearly impossible. She would look away if he caught her eye, cheeks heating up every time she was captured by his darkened green irises.
He opened the door, allowing her to take the first step. She didn’t really need the help, but she couldn’t complain when his hand posed on the small of her back so he could maneuver her onto the sheets.
“Do you want a change of clothes, Y/N?”
“Um, if you have something?”
She doubted there was anything in his huge closet that would fit her in the way she preferred, but the idea of spending the night in jeans was just as dreadful, so she took the chance and nodded.
He came back later with a stack of clothes perched on his left hand, the other holding another glass of water. “Anything else?”
Y/N paused for a moment to think and shook her head, “no. But just—“ she swallowed around the lump in her throat, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
She couldn’t believe the words she spoke next, no thought invested into them: “will you come into bed with me?”
Time refused to pass, the ball was in his court.
When he gave a subtle nod, it was like god and the universe were sending good karma her way. Her compensation for the night. “Just until you fall asleep.”
Y/N scooted to the other edge of the bed, reaching down under the blanket to rid herself of her jeans and pull on those grey sweatpants. Surprisingly enough, they fit extremely well. Harry laid down over the blanket (to prevent getting too comfortable, probably) and perched himself onto his forearm.
Another bold wave met with Y/N’s courage as she reached out her hand to trail over his chest. Harry swallowed thickly.
“You’re really nice t’me.”
“You deserve to be treated well.” The snort that left her was completely involuntary, but it still made Harry frown. “You do.”
“Everyone does,” she later mumbled in agreement. He seemed to dislike the way she’d surrendered, though, because he did that thing with his jaw whenever he was ticked off.
What he didn’t like was the implication behind her tone that she only deserved respect because everyone did, regardless of her own character. She was disregarding her beauty and her kindness, her character, and reducing it to a commodity when it wasn’t.
He’d always had difficulty expressing his feelings, though, so he stuck with silence. Stone cold silence.
It pertained for five more minutes until he watched as sleep slowly overtook her figure, peaceful breaths cascading from her mouth. She looked so pretty asleep; relaxed, void of concerns and the crinkle in her forehead from tonight’s events dissipating into its initial form.
He wondered if she’d ever given him other implications of being an insecure girl— if she had, he’d caught none of them. He never would’ve thought somebody so effortlessly beautiful and kind as her could think to deserve less on such extreme levels. It made him wonder if anyone had ever treated her as she deserved; he noticed once that whenever she spoke about her family, she failed to mention her father. It seemed men had disappointed her in more ways than one.
There was inner turmoil bothering him. He didn’t know what he was feeling for his child’s nanny, but there was surely no other woman he felt as eager to take care of— picking her up, driving her home, clearing a room for her.
It was terrifying to allow himself these few minutes of observing her because he feared the impure thoughts which would cross his mind. Not perverse, but intimate. She deserved more than him, he was sure of it.
He left the room after another five minutes, trying to be as subtle as possible as he walked to the door. It was later than four am, so he stopped by his son’s room to check on him. When he saw nothing out of the ordinary, he finally carried himself to his own bedroom.
He would lie awake until sunrise.
Y/N had never woken up so panicked before, chest heaving and mind elsewhere entirely. Her head was pounding and her heart rate palpable, she was sweating all over and she could only recall last night in small, blurry tidbits.
God, and she had to face Harry. On a Monday morning.
After maybe ten minutes of lying around and procrastinating, she finally moved herself out of bed. She pulled on her clothes from last night, drank the water that was situated on her nightstand and tidied up in the bathroom before going to search for him. She looked upstairs— no trace of him, so she cascaded down the stairs and made her way to the kitchen. On the way there, his office caught her eye. The door was cracked opened and at a closer peek, she saw him sitting at the desk with his hand buried in his hair, mumbling something. She knocked, he flinched.
“God, Y/N, you scared me.”
“Sorry,” she gave a sheepish smile, “are you busy?”
“I—“ he sighed, shaking his head. It was when he spoke into the phone lying on his desk that she realized he’d been one a phone call. Before she could backtrack, he’d muttered an ‘I’ll call you later, Stace’ to them and hung up for her. She stood there, fingers interlaced in front of her body and balancing on the balls of her feet in intimidation.
He didn’t look happy either, and that was probably because ‘Stace’ was Jamie’s mother. She would call every few months, he’d told her, and cause some sort of havoc— from wanting to talk to Jamie on the phone to wanting to see him in person. When asked why he didn’t like letting her see Jamie, he’d given Y/N a very vague answer; wouldn’t do any good. She’d settled with that back then, having sensed the energy shifting.
Y/N felt bad for him now, the stress assuming control of his features almost overwhelming to look at.
He was already glancing up at her expectantly, but the words disappeared from her brain and all she wanted to do, really, was comfort him.
“I— are you okay?”
It was a visceral reaction he had to those few little words, the furrow in his eyebrow deepening, “yes, why?”
“Because… well because you were talking to Stacie on the phone—“
His scoff interrupted her pity stutter, “so you’re listening in on my conversations now?”
Oh, she was no longer sorry; she was scared. “No! No, I’m not, I swear! I was walking past looking for you and I heard you mumble something, I don’t— I would never…” and he must’ve known that. He must’ve known that she would never, ever listen in on his conversations, nor try to overstep the line by doing that (obviously she’d fucked up last night, but aside from that). He knew her, he’d trusted her for long enough for her to know that he knew that, so his accusation ticked her off.
But he looked terrifying right now; eyes dark, eyebrows furrowed, closed off stance, and nothing like the Harry she’d gotten to know well. And she had no idea if it had been last night or this that had finally pushed him over the edge.
“So why bring it up?”
“Because you— because you’ve talked about it before and I was just— I wanted to check on you!” She was stuttering like an idiot, she was aware, but with her comfort bubble gone, her speech wasn’t a reliable asset anymore. She’d always been terrible at communication and even worse at confrontation. And he must’ve known that because he was using it to his advantage— and that was mean, because he knew she would never. He knew. Didn’t he?
“It’s not professional, Y/N, but I’m sure you know that. I’m sure you know that last night wasn’t either, but you keep fucking pushing me.”
And that… well, was partly right.
“I know last night wasn’t…” she shook her head, “it wasn’t professional, I know that. I don’t know why I called you, I don’t get it either, it just happened, really, and I wanted to apologize. I understand if you—“ she peered down toward her hands, swallowing the lump in her throat, “if you don’t feel comfortable with me being here anymore. With your son, I mean, I’d totally understand.”
Y/N thought that was quite sensible of her. Of course, if she could get a chance to have a repeat of last night, she would take it in a heartbeat— but she couldn’t, so this was all she could do. She loved working here, giving it up would hurt, but she understood if that was what needed to be done.
“You just… you can’t fucking call me at three am in the morning drunk off of your arse—“
“I know that—“
“Clearly you don’t!” And she detested how his voice raised. “And clearly you don’t get that there are things you just can’t talk about; like Stacie, or your own relationships, or whatever the fuck else you’ve brought up to me.” If she felt like a scolded child yesterday, then she’d had no idea how bad it could get. “I’m your— I’m your employer, not your fucking therapist. I’m not here to clean up your fuck-ups, pat you on the head and tell you it’s alright.”
Her eyebrows furrowed because she knew that too, and she found it borderline preposterous that he would imply she didn’t.
There was a 180 here, and she was becoming less and less understanding.
“I told you I don’t know why I called you, Harry, I don’t know! What am I supposed to say? I was terrified and sad and don’t ask me why, but you’re the only person who actually gets what I’m talking about half of the time, so it just happened!”
“You act like I’m somehow responsible for you.”
Her frown deepened; she hated the notion that he had to take care of her in some way, as if she was incapable of it on her own account. “On what basis? I think you might be pressuring yourself into that, Harry, because it’s fucking ridiculous. I never made you do anything.”
He released a frustrated breath, “you have to stop worming your way into our lives— you’re our nanny, that’s it. You don’t ask me about my personal life, you don’t call me in the middle of the night to make me worry and you don’t ask me to get into bed with you.”
“You act like I don’t know that!”
“Evidently you don’t.”
“Yes I d—“
“Just—just stop. Stop talking.”
It shut her up. It did not only that, the increase of his volume had made her flinch on the spot. She wasn’t a fan of confrontation, as mentioned before, but what she despised even more was yelling. She couldn’t stand yelling, fighting, accusations being thrown in the air with no regard to anyone’s feelings. It was an extremely sensitive thing for her and she definitely hadn’t expected to experience it with him today.
Y/N saw him a little differently in this light. The sternness with which he delivered those words, strict and mean, reminded her of her childhood. He saw her weakness, saw the stress she was under, and did nothing to relieve the situation. Instead he’d yelled at her.
Her hand was shaking a little and tears were forming in her eyes. She couldn’t let him see it, though, the weakness. She couldn’t allow him to see that a simple instruction had made her want to cry.
“I can’t deal with you today, Y/N, so please just… just go.”
She left without another word— straight up turned around and closed the door behind her with shaky hands. She couldn’t stand him right now, but even more she couldn’t stand herself.
She’d fucked up so badly.
And maybe… maybe she needed to quit.
-
part two!
And there we have it! don’t hate me for that ending it was necessary!
1K notes · View notes
simpee9000 · 4 months
Text
Not Just Friends - Prologue -
Tumblr media
Based off this blurb + Fem Reader : Not edited : 3.2k Words : Full M.List
Childhood best friends turned into something more, at least with the label. Katsuki Bakugo, a fast-rising hero and fast-learning guy who is ever so slow in getting attached to and loving someone. Even three long years into a relationship, and your friends even forget you're even dating. Nothing happening, spare a few kisses.. like 3 kisses, during high school. Graduated and living together, and you guys have done absolutely nothing to further the relationship. Are you sure you're not just friends? (this is just a prologue, all chapters will have a different writing style) CW: Smut, brief domestic violence discussion, virginity loss, gore with pro hero stuff (lmk if i missed any) (applies to all chapters regardless if it's discussed or not)
Bakugo, or to you, Katsuki has been a huge figure in your life. Probably the biggest motivator as well. There since you were young and immature, running around in random neon clothes your mom let you wear after your 4-year-old self argued with her for half an hour.
You were the third addition to Katsuki and Izuku's friendship. Butting in on their rivalry often. Defending Izuku while shooting Katsuki a nasty glare. Helping Izuku with his bruises but also helping Katsuki with his, if he ever got any. You stuck to either boy's side, depending on who you saw first. Which, more often than not, was Katsuki. But you left his side whenever he picked on Izuku. Helping Izuku's muddy self get out of the river before considering Katsuki. 
That was in elementary school though, in junior high you stayed a balanced friend between the two. Stopping fights between the two boys, scolding the blonde boy every time. Yet you helped him clean up any time he picked a fight with anyone else. Wrapping up his bloody knuckles any time he needed, either from too much training or him being an asshole. You look back fondly on those times. Any time you so much as touched him, he sparked up, hands shooting out small explosions as he blushed. He felt bad obviously, but he was a preteen going through puberty and a pretty girl was touching him, what did you expect? He grimaced at every 'ow' that left your lips after he sparked up with your hand caring in his. He grew into his quirk and his control. So once the first year of high school hit, he was okay with small touches from you.
Thinking back on it, it was surprising he was okay with you, quirk-wise. He always gave Izuku hell for it, but never you. Maybe it's because you didn't have the drive to be a hero, wanting to stick to doing the sideline work of being a support tech. You weren't quirkless, but until the first year of junior high, you thought you were. Not having a flashy quirk or even a showing quirk at all. Only finding out because you've always aced every test and had an incredible academic ability. After a few too many recommendations of sped-up courses, did your parents take you to the doctor. Seeing that you did in fact have a quirk. Hyper-intelligence. You were basically a genius with an insanely good memory. It was an odd mutation of your parent's quirks. Your mom was able to remember everything she read and your dad was able to see the composition of anything he saw.
So along with Katsuki and Izuku, you strived to go to UA. Wanting to be in their support course, having strive to be a huge support tech in the future. Hopefully with your own company. You were well on that path as well.
You were there for that god-awful attack Katsuki dealt with in middle school. Seeing him covered in the sludge monster, gasping for air, haunted your dreams. You were walking with him after all. Watched the sludge climb up his body as you frantically tried to pry it off, your hands just slipping through the muck. Being pushed away once Katsuki started to cough violently. He didn't want you anywhere near what was happening. Looking wide-eyed at you before coughing for you to get help. So reluctantly, you did. Looking back at the blonde as he was submerged before you bolted for help, screaming for it down every walkway.
Only to come back to watch your other best friend running in to try and help. Screaming his name as well as you ran to get to them. Being pushed back by the wind All Might made when he came to help. Falling on your back as you watched, with tears in your eyes, Katsuki being freed from the sludge, gasping for any air he could. A hero lifted you up and held you from running to your friends, despite your frantic yelling for the boys. When they were cleared from the medics, you were allowed to see them. Instantly hugging Katsuki while yelling at Izuku over his shoulder, telling him he was stupid to run in without a quirk. Even though you were about to do the same. Katsuki rubbed off on you in that way. Yelling at others all while knowing you'd do the same.
By all means, you knew that wasn't going to be the last time you saw the boys in danger. Especially after Izuku got a quirk just in time for the UA testing. You weren't worried about the exam portion, the three of you studied together for that after all. Well, you studied with both of them, but they never studied with each other. Your test had an additional few tests but you passed them with ease. Just like how you knew Katsuki would pass his. You were worried for Izuku and his trial, which you were right to be, he broke both his arms with only one shot of his quirk. And after all that, it was still unlikely he'd get in. When you did get the letter of acceptance, you were with Katsuki, Izuku told you to go with Katsuki as he would probably not get in and he wants to be with his mom. Katsuki and you yelled and jumped around his room in excitement at the bold lettering of 'acceptance,' well you were jumping, he was being cocky and acting unaffected about it. Izuku called you only minutes after to let you know he got in as well. Katsuki rolled his eyes as he heard the news. Complaining once you hung up about how he didn't know how a nobody like him got in.
Getting into UA started everything for you. You got an insanely good internship after the sports festival. You followed Mei's lead, with Katsuki's and Izuku's advice, and showed off a suit similar to the American hero, 'Iron Man' just with your own flare and adjustments. Getting scouted for Endeavor's hero agency's personal tech crew. Following under the head of their tech.
With being in UA you got some insider information about what the hero course was doing. Making the hero outfit of both Katsuki and Izuku and doing any upgrades they needed. Eventually doing their friend's suits as well. Insider information wasn't enough, unfortunately. You were aware that the hero course went to the forest for training but you only knew Katsuki was taken when you met up with a beaten-up Izuku in a hospital bed. Having got a frantic call from Kirishima the second they got phone service. Him telling you to meet at this hospital because Izuku was in bad shape due to a villain attack.
You were involved in the rescue plan for Katsuki. Bring stealth equipment for a disguise. You weren't able to get anything else due to the time frame but you were there and it was successful. Holding your hand out alongside Kirishima for Katsuki to grab. You were also there for the fall of All Might, and consequently the fall of the boys beside you. Katsuki having his lip quiver as Izuku stood in shock.
Since you were there, and the villains saw your face and technique, you were invited to the dorms as well. They were supposed to be only for the hero course but they made changes. You dormed with the Class A girls.
You saw the boys leave that one night, deciding to stay in bed and let them hash it out. They should be grown enough at this point to not kill each other. Regretting that decision when you saw how beaten and bruised both the boys were the next day.
Their Provisional license exam was at the same time as yours. Yours being a test of how effective your gear is and if it's safe enough for the public heroes. Coming back to the dorms to see a happy Izuku and a distraught Katsuki. You spent that night in his dorm room, helping him prepare for the extra course he now had to take.
Being within the top best-performing techs within UA, you were recruited to help with the War. Making sure everyone had good and up-to-date equipment, giving extra support items, but also being within the team itself. They needed any help they could get and you had a suit good for fighting. Aizawa asked you himself. He knew his two best boys trained you enough to know how to defend yourself. So you were in the evacuation crew. Only parting from that when you saw the boys running in the direction of mass destruction.
You stood by Aizawa's side as you saw your best friends get pummeled within an inch of life. You stood there, holding Aizawa up as you watched Katsuki take three stabs in the chest for Izuku. Leaving the teacher's side instantly, running up to the limp and bloody body that was Katsuki. Hands searching his body to try and stop the blood. Bloody hands ripping his hero suit to push it into his wounds. Crying for him to stay awake. When his eyes were fluttering shut you placed your bloody hands on his face, trying to ground him as you shook his face. Bringing a hand up to slap him awake. His eyes shooting open to look at you. Iida eventually pulled you off him, helping Katsuki stand, and dragged him off the battlefield.
You had to bite your lip to hold in a yell when you saw Katsuki go back into the fight. The bloody handprints you left still on his face.
The hospital trip was a rough one as well. Waited the miserable hours for either of your best friends to wake. When one was being examined you went to the other. Constantly checking on both. Luckily, the moment Katsuki woke up, you were just coming back from grabbing a drink and some snacks.
Katsuki snapped his eyes open when he heard the door open, body jolting to sit up. You dropped your food, pushing Katsuki back into bed with a hug. He was mainly confused. He remembers the fight but he didn't expect you to be here. He wrapped his IV-ridden arm around you, hugging as tight as his ribs allowed. After all, he was extremely worried about you going into the battlefield. You didn't have nearly enough training. When he finally passed out from the pain his last worry was if you'd be alive when he woke up.
His brain was foggy, he was just getting his senses back, feeling you, smelling your hair that you must have washed the night before, and hearing the small sobs of relief you were letting out. "Stop crying, I'm fine," Katsuki rasped, voice still shattered from everything.
"You almost died," you pulled back, placing your hands on his face, getting the flashed memory of your bloody hands on him as he struggled to stay awake and alive.
He really took in your appearance then, forced to look at you with your hands squishing his face. You looked like a wreck, it was obvious to anyone that you hardly slept. Your clothes were wrinkled and your hair was a mess, as if you ran your hands through it too many times.
"Kats?" you called for his attention.
"Huh?"
"You can't do that to me," you scolded, knowing deep in your heart, something like this would happen again.
He knew that too, which is why he just pulled you in for another hug. "Why's my quirk weird?" he whispered, not feeling the usual sense of his quirk.
"What do you mean?" you asked. You tried to pull away but his grip was firm, keeping you pressed into his arms.
His face reddened. The reason he felt off was because he didn't feel the normal energy rushing through his hands that came out as sparks at your touch. "Just not sweaty, y'know, like normal."
You laughed lightly, voice still fragile from how much you've been crying, "They put you on quirk suppressants, they expected you to explode with anger or something when you woke up."
Ideas flashed before his eyes. He was on quirk suppressants and was unable to use his quirk, at least right now. He wasn't sparking up at your touch.
He left his arms loosen, you pulling back once again to check his face, make sure he really was there. Placing your hands on his cheek, squeezing your eyes shut at the memory before looking at him again. He thought over his next move, looking at your expression for a while. He reached his hand up to hold yours against his face. Looking up at you before his other hand reached up and pulled you in for a kiss.
That was the first kiss between you two. Put off as the heat of the moment and never discussed afterward. Both of you knew it wasn't, but you would die on the hill that it was. Right after you parted, a doctor came in to inform you that Izuku was starting to wake up, and he needed to run some tests on Katsuki.
After that, everything was insanely busy. Preparations for the war were already taking place. Izuku was asking for your help with his suit. The last suit he asked for before he wrote a goodbye letter and went MIA. That was hard for both you and Katsuki. You spent nights awake together going through the tracker you left on his gear, keeping track of his location and health.
Those nights together feel like a fleeting moment that you could never grasp again.
When the second year was supposed to start, you saw your childhood friend die in front of you. With nothing you could do as he laid limp on the cold ground. He was beaten and bloody just like everyone else. Just like you were. You went into the fight on a whim, just having finished a suit for yourself, and after about 20 minutes of fighting for your life, you were knocked down. Laying limp while you saw Katsuki get his lifeless body thrown to the side.
You woke up in the hospital before him, body still bruised but you were healed more than most. Katsuki's room was the first you went to, after asking every hospital worker if he was alive. His room was cold, not lively with his usual energy, but his heart was still pumping. Notes from his mom littered his table, just like yours but with more. You couldn't stand looking at him for more than twenty minutes. Choking on your tears as you decided to see Izuku.
Walking was too much for you, despite your healing, seeing Izuku's entirely broken body broke you even more. You passed out after a few moments of seeing the green-haired boy. Head flooding with the reality that both of your best friends almost died, and one did.
The nurse kept you in your room from then on, you passed out and hit your head. Gaining a major concussion with the fall. You were completely bedridden and required to be in a room with little to no light. So it was a shock when a bandaged Katsuki slammed open your door, multiple people behind him telling him to lay down and rest.
You had the horrible hospital food halfway in your mouth when he barged in. Dropping it as you stared at the boy.
"Are you okay?" he asked despite the protests behind him.
"Yes? Are you okay?" you asked back, more confused than anything.
Katsuki shoved the people off his shoulder and pushed his way into your hospital room, closing and locking the door behind him.
"What are you doing? You died! You need rest," you protested, finally having your brain start working.
He scoffed, walking to your side, with a a limp, "Can't sleep, 'think I can knowing you're in the hospital room down the hall?" He pushed you to the side of your bed, making a spot for him to lay next to you.
"When'd you wake up?" you asked softly, accepting he wouldn't have it any other way.
He stayed quiet for a moment, "Like thirty minutes ago."
"Bakugo!" you slapped his arm, super gently compared to normal, "Have you let them run their tests? How do I know you're okay?"
"Relax, and don't call me that," he huffed.
"You died!"
"I know," he sighed, looking away, "They ran a few tests and said I'm fine. Shouldn't be up but y'know how I am."
You let out a sigh of relief, "You should go to bed, Kats."
"Told ya, can't sleep," he looked at you
"Yeah but they need to-"
"I'm on quirk suppressants, can I kiss you?" he interrupted you, a blush coating his face.
"Huh?" you blinked, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"Please?"
"I mean sure but-"
He didn't let you continue anymore, pressing his lips to yours after he got your consent. This kiss was more passionate than the first. Like the other just escape death, like how it was. His hand cradled your face, pushing you closer just to kiss you softer.
When you both pulled back, you let out small breaths. Foreheads resting on each other as you stared at each others' lips.
"Been wantin' to do that," he whispered.
"Me too," you smiled. Any conversation before being forgotten, for a moment at least.
You heard the door handle to your room jiggle. Keys being tested on the lock.
"You're okay though?" he pulled back, looking at you for any injuries.
"Just a concussion, you have it worse," you frowned, looking at all the cuts that were covered with a bandage.
"I've lived through worse," he said for comfort.
"You died from this," you furrowed your brows. "Let your doctors run their test, otherwise I won't talk to you."
"But-"
"Go," you stayed firm. Just in time for the doctor to unlock the room and rush him out.
About two months or so later, you two had the chance to sit one one-on-one together. No physical therapy appointments to attend or any work to do. Just time to talk. The war left a lot of cleaning up and school only started again a week ago. Everything was changed and fixed. Which left little free time other than sleep. You've seen each other between the kiss and now but it was always in groups.
You talked for a while that day. Deciding to actually become something more. To be more than childhood best friends. So you did, about halfway into the second year.
The second year was busy, with all the changes to the hero world and the world in general. You never got time alone to work on your relationship. Staying normal besides the title change to your relationship, never even kissing again. It was hard but you worked through it, too busy to even think about it. The third year was the same, just only sharing a kiss if he got injured or when you got a huge job offer. You also shared a kiss at graduation, when you agreed to live together after school.
Getting a two-bedroom apartment together, right next to where you both worked. At first, you thought that the second bedroom was going to be an office. But it ended up being his room. The two of you not sharing a bed despite almost 2 years of a relationship at this point. Yet you worked with it, if he needed more time then that's okay. He was everything to you. And you could tell you were everything for him as well. It just got a little weird when your friends forgot your relationship, asked if you were unhappy or abused, or even flirted with you.
-Next Part-
In them m.list of this fic comment if you want to be added into a tag list <3
I'll no longer add people to the taglist if they haven't commented there. It's too much to keep up with all the new part. Hope you understand <3
695 notes · View notes