#th hug is different too.. theyre more comfortable :')

[ajdrawshq]

how messed up it must be to go from enjoying plays to feeling like ur stuck inside one..

[hurricanetortilla5ever-blog]

maybe mini was right , i shouldnt come here to talk about my feelings . whatever that i want to say . if its about bryan , it should be to him , why do i have t create a safe place , what is he then ? is he not home ? do i not find comfort in him ? why do i have to create a world where i can tell thses things to him but not to have him act on it ? if me telling my true feelings is something that i have to keep to myself , to prevent him from breaking up with me , am i doing the right thing here ? shouldnt i tell these things to him anyways ? if he does find my true feelings and reques a burden and break up with me , then i know for sure , that hes not the one for me , yet why do i look for solace in a place that cant even offer me a hug  , a kiss , comfort , all you are is aa blog full of nothing , unless one day idk maybe bryan hacks into my tumblr again and youre reading this n0ow , in which case . wow idk , how do i respond to such a thing , im keeping shit real private , logging out after each post , but i mean this blog is moot , unless we’re talking about a space to fill up my dreams , then its ok , but what am i doing really ?  would it have been different if i told these things to bryan personally , i wonder how much has he read , whether he has read all th way to the end , about austin and blah blah , i feel like when im with im im so blinded by love , that i cant be mad with him , i really cant , i can tofu la but thats it , btu whe im alone , thats when i start to think and wonder , and boy do i wonder . . . i keep wondering if im a stepping stone from tracy , we all have our own rebounds , whether we choose to admit it or not , beck , darren , james , martin ,  sadly tho , theyre all innocently dragged into this , all like me but idk , idk where my head is at , but i feel like i try too much , and i dont get a lot of response or reciprocation , its funny because he told me “youre gonna get bored of me , or tired of me ” im not bored of him , im bored of doing so much and getting little to nothing , i feel idk , i fel like the reacher and hes the settler , girls would look at him and think hey hes a nice guy and hes cute , which is a huge plus , but i mean me . idk . im so much less , and i think becuase his ex is much hotter thn me , hell jsut think he deserves better  like im a step down from his standards . but im reaching , and i just would like it if someone reached for me , i wish hed sweep me off my feet and make my heart swing just cause he wants to make me smile , idk why i dont  see it , i know he does things in his own way , but idk . i want so mcuh more , i wanna feel things , i dont want me to reach so far and get let down that i become numb , i told him i want more . i really do , i wish it came naturally :( i sad