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unabashegirl · 4 years

Text

Pax Romana; Part I

Author’s note: Hey everyone, here is the first part of this mini-series. I hope you like it! Let me know if you want to be on the tag list. Also, REQUESTS ARE OPEN only for H.

DISCLAIMER; I DONT KNOW ITALIAN! (only English, French and Spanish) I clearly used a translator. I am aware their translations are SHIT sometimes. Therefore I am sorry if I butcher it! I didn’t mean to!

masterlist

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Harry Styles, can still recall the first day he was enthralled by her conspicuous beauty. At first, he reckoned he had done the unavoidable. He had moved to Italy for the summer, and he had managed to fall in love with an Italian girl; that he had never spoken to. He had only observed her from afar — too shy to ever think of approaching her. Nonetheless, the young woman was a sight to behold. He promised himself that he would only watch from afar. It felt forbidden and somewhat illegal. The feeling that bubbled within him was enough reason to continue his study of her.

After his first visit to Italy, he had fallen in love with the country. Hence, why he had rented out a house in a coastal town. The country’s natural and effortless beauty inspired him to write new music for his upcoming album. The beautiful sunsets, the sunny mornings, the art, and the food brought peace and tranquility to him. It was the perfect place for him to hide — for a while. It was on one of his morning runs; he first noticed her.

She wore a bright yellow bikini that exposed most of her olive skin to the sun rays. She sat on a striped towel that she had laid out on the hot sand. Her hair was slicked back and wet after she had dipped in the ocean to refresh her body.

Of course, she never caught sight of his dilated pupils or the way he had leaned forward — lured by her beauty. Her attention was preoccupied with a hardcover of Pride and Prejudice; that she had brought along as a source of entertainment for the day. The young woman appeared too indulged in the printed words to notice his existence.

He watched her for a few hours. Now and then he would remind himself of the hundred reasons why he shouldn’t approach. He had even managed to take a few steps towards her. Harry eventually removed himself as soon as it became too much. He had beaten the temptation.

The first time he spoke to her was at a local restaurant. Harry had taken himself out on a late lunch date. He had dressed up nicely and had walked to the bistro. He noticed her presence after taking his first sip out of his freshly served Chardonnay. She sat on the table across from him. This time she wasn't submerged in a book. He could finally admire her natural beauty up close. The fullness of the apples of her cheeks, her long dark eyelashes, her red-tinted lips, and of course light sunburn on her upper cheeks and across the bridge of her nose.

A few minutes later, her order had arrived. It was ricotta and mushroom stuffed ravioli in a black truffle sauce. She was stuffing her face when they made eye contact. Harry’s lips curved upwards creating a lopsided smile as she scrambled to clean the creamy sauce off her face. He hadn't said anything to her, but she already felt embarrassed.

”Sono deliziosa?” He had done it. He couldn’t just watch her and pray she’d take the first step. It was time to put his Italian to the test. He had been practicing his Italian and even though he already had a few weeks on the Amalfi coast; he still struggled to comprehend. Harry only hoped she would be able to understand him.

”E molto deliziosa” She smiled at him for the first time. She beamed, radiating an intoxicating wave of warmth and happiness towards him. Her lips parted open for a split second but before she could utter a word the waiter approached.

“Hai bisogno di qualcos’ altro?” He was asking her if she needed anything else. She understood what he was asking, but she couldn’t remember how to say cheese.

“Fuck” she said under her breath. “Queso. Fromage. Cheese” She had forgotten how to speak. All her languages had mixed in one and the wires had crossed. “How do you say it?” She whispered under her breath, her cheeks warmed in embarrassment as the waiter tried to comprehend.

“Formaggio. Ha bisogno di formaggio parmigiano, per favore” Harry interrupted, noticing her uneasiness and her inevitable embarrassment. He knew that it wasn’t his business and he shouldn’t have been listening to the conversation, but he had to help her.

The waiter turned his attention to the young celebrity. He was also a bit surprised that Harry had spoken for her. He had seen that Harry kept to himself. He usually attended dinner on his own and hardly even bothered to use his phone. “Inmediatamente”.

“Thank you” She thanked Harry as soon as the waiter had left in search of the parmesan cheese that she so craved. Harry’s excessive focus on watching the server carrying out her request had prevented him from realizing that she spoke perfect English. He had to stop himself from gasping when processed her delicate voice. She had an accent. Slight. Gentle. Barely-there and it wasn’t Italian. He would later learn that her R’s made it more prominent.

“It’s alright. It happens” She instantly recognized who he was. Her heart raced for a minute or two, but she restrained herself from making a huge scene. After all, it was Harry Styles. Whom she considered, the most stylish man of her generation. The man could wear a curtain and still pull it off. “I am Harry” He rises a bit from his seat, extending his right hand.

“Catalina” She shakes his hand with a smile. “So, what brings you here?” Even her name was attractive — he wondered.

“Is’not obvious?”

“Not really. Enlighten me” The stranger gives him a small smirk while placing her napkin over her lap after crossing her legs under the table. Harry purges his lips as he uses his index finger and thumb to slightly tug on his bottom lip.

His whole plan to stay away from her had failed. Did he regret it?. Hell no! He just hoped he had chosen wisely.

“The art” He reveals as he watches her cut one of her ravioli before putting it in her mouth. She responds by only nodding; too indulged in the explosion of flavors within her mouth.

“Music?” She hums as she brings the glass of wine up to her mouth. “ I thought you were more of a dolce far niente type of man” her mouth curved into a smile. Dolce far niente means pleasant relaxation in carefree idleness. Harry instantly identified the phrase from Julia Roberts's famous movie — Eat, Pray, Love. She remembered reading somewhere that he was a rom-com fan.

“Are you?” He shot back. There was no doubt that he was intrigued by her.

“Si” She shrugged as she pushed around some ravioli.

“Then we have more in common than I thought, Catalina” Her name rolled off his tongue without any strain. It was as if he had been practicing for months. She had never heard her name sound so attractively. Sure, he had an accent, but it was still beautifully pronounced.

Harry’s order arrived moments later. He had ordered the classic spaghetti bolognese. He grabbed his fork and knife and right before digging into the plate, he looked up at her. Catalina had been watching him since silence had fallen upon them. His smirk grew into a soft chuckle as their eyes met. She giggled at him and first noticed his dimples. She now understood everyone's obsession with his smile.

“Would you join me?” Catalina spluttered after a few minutes of mentally debating with herself. She felt her heart beating in her throat and her hands dripping with sweat as other parts of her body. It was all very hot.

Catalina wasn’t the type of woman to initiate conversation. She rarely even texts first!. Her excuse is usually that she doesn’t want to bother or interrupt. In reality, she is scared shitless to make a fool out of herself. Therefore, she was quite surprised by herself to have asked him to have dinner together.

Harry cocked his head with his lips pursed. To her, he looked very pensive as if he was making a big decision. She didn’t blame him. He was on vacation and the last thing he wanted was to be photographed with a random girl and for questions to be asked. Although, he had already agreed in his mind. He just couldn’t come across as desperate. Even though he was. Harry wanted to know more.

His fingers tucked his clothed napkin into the collar of his shirt. A chuckle left his lips as he pushed his seat back and raised on his feet. He held his plate and utensils with one hand while his glass of wine with the other.

“So, where are you from?” Harry was first to ask, as he twisted his spaghetti around his folk. Catalina leaned back on her seat, her fingers clenching around her wine glass as she finished swallowing. “I am English” he laughs as if his accent didn’t give it away.

“Really? Bet my life you were Italian” Catalina bantered

“What gave it away?”

“The facial hair and the good head of locks” Harry grinned covering his face with his hands, feeling his cheeks heating up. He felt ridiculous for blushing at such a minuscule compliment. “But anyway, I was born in South America, but raised in Spain by my aunt”. She revealed playing with the small droplets around the cup of ice water that had been forgotten.

“And what are you doing here?”

“I study here” She had just finished her first semester. “Well not here, but in Rome. I am majoring in art history”.

The not so strangers sat for hours and indulged in one more bottle of wine. Harry encouraged her to pick but she politely refused. She said that she hadn’t spent enough time in Italy to know what was best.

She told him about her parents. Her father had walked out on her mother after she had told him that she was expecting. Catalina also shared with him how she felt after losing her mother to cancer when she was only ten. She was quite surprised at herself. She had never shared so much with anyone. Let alone, someone she had met that same night. Harry brought her some kind of comfort that she had no idea she needed.

Harry listened to her. She hadn’t finished speaking and answering his previous question and he already had another one formulated. He liked hearing her speak. She allowed him to pick at her brain and he liked what he saw. She was driven, independent, somewhat lonely, but incredibly smart. Catalina was also unbelievably wise for her age.

“What about you? Is fame all you thought it would be?” Catalina asked moments after they had been kicked out of the restaurant. They eventually had to close. Harry held what was left of the bottle as they walked down the isolated streets.

“That’s a heavily loaded question” He chuckled, “It’s way more complicated and difficult. I think I expected to never feel lonely by the continuous abundance of people around me. But in reality, sometimes it feels lonelier than when I was just Harry” Harry shrugged, masking the pain that the vulnerability that he suddenly felt.

“I get it. The screams and faces don’t match the number of people close to you” Catalina was not famous but she could understand where he was coming from. Sure, her aunt had raised her, but she had felt lonely for most of her life. Her mother's death had felt a gaping hole in her life that no one has ever been able to fulfill.

“M’not ungrateful for my friends but I do feel lonely. I guess I haven't found what I am looking for” Harry flashed her a reassuring smile as they walked down to the main road. “Let me help yeh” He had seen her struggling to walk over the cobblestone streets. She wore low heel sandals that complemented the white satin dress that she has opted for. Unfortunately, the heels were thin enough to slip through the stones making her overly cautious where she stepped.

Harry switched the bottle to his other hand and offered his hand for her to take. She stopped momentarily and stared at his massive hands. They were bare. His famous rings were missing as if they had gone on a vacation too. She took his hand and was slightly surprised at their softness. She had expected them to be rough but they were quite the opposite.

“Thank you”

“No problem” He wanted to spend more time with her. He wished that the night wasn’t ending. “I would invite you for some gelato, but it’s quite late. I doubt there is any place opened”

“How long are you staying?” Catalina asked as she noticed them approaching the entrance of her hotel.

“A few more weeks” the splendor of the lights of the entrance of the hotel illuminated her features. Harry couldn’t help thinking how lovely she looked.

“I’ve had a lovely time. Will I see you tomorrow?”

“M’not planning on goin anywhere” Catalina reached up, resting a delicate hand on his shoulder, she kissed his cheek.

“I’ll see you around then” She gave him a little wave as she walked her way through the doors. She would later realize that she hadn’t only kissed him because it was part of her culture and tradition but because he managed to ignite a flame within her — that one had ever done before.

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gucciwins · 4 years

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Into You

Breakup’s bring heartache but they also bring a new beginning.

Word Count: 8658

A/N: Angst, it was fun to write. Honestly, I really loved this ending. I struggle with endings but this felt like the perfect one. Relationships take work and no communication can ruin that. Remember to love and to trust. I love you

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Julia: Dinner at 7 Cafe Habana

Julia: He won't be there

You sigh at the sight of the second message. It's pathetic that your friends have to let you know, but you don't want to run right into him. It is the last thing you need but the thing you want most.

Pathetic.

Y/N: I'll be there x

You look at the text you sent and sign grateful for her reaching out. You haven't seen your friends in a few weeks, and it's been months since you've been to your favorite restaurant. Everyone knows how hard it's been since the breakup. They aren't choosing sides, but sharing a lot of the same friends is hard. You live in the city, and he's always on the road, it's only fair he gets to go out with them because you know you'll have other opportunities.

You wore a comfortable sundress and black flats, not wanting to drive in heels. A gold bracelet on your wrist, fingers bear no rings like you usually did. A ring tan sitting on your right index finger makes your eyes foggy, but you shake the thought away and enjoy the ride down PCH window down the ocean breeze coursing through your hair. Joni Mitchell on blast to overpower your thoughts of memories connected to this exact drive you're making.

Walking in, you take a deep breath and smile as soon as you open the door. The smile drops instantly when you see who's sitting two seats away from Julia right next to Jeff. Brown curls and a broad back. Tattoo's on display. You see her mouth an apology and lifts her phone. You walk out without a second thought, hoping they didn't see you.

Your phone rings once you're back in your car. It's Julia, so you answer.

"Hey babe, I didn't know I swear. He walked in with Jeff talking about how he was here for the weekend then going back home to London."

"It's fine, toots." You sigh.

"Are you doing okay?" She asks voice a bit low.

You're trying to choke back your tears, but it's hard. It's hard because he's so close yet so far. He seems fine, perfect even, and here you are crying in your car like a loser.

"It hurts, and it hurts to know he's fine. He's not hurting like I am. I miss-" You cut yourself off as you feel your tears falling down like a waterfall. "I want the pain to pass."

"Sweetie, do you want me to meet you at your apartment?"

"No, just let them know my sister called me and that it was a family emergency, but everything is fine. I'm going to head to her house for the weekend. Hug, my nephews. Stuff my face in cupcakes."

"As long as you promise to bring me one."

You laugh for the first time in what feels like forever. "That I can do."

"Next Saturday, Alex's birthday. Say you'll show up for him."

"I'm there. Got his gift all wrapped up."

"You're not alone." She reminds you. "Despite all you think, you're still our friend."

"Thank you. I love you, toots."

You know breakups are never easy, but this one flipped your entire world upside down. You're not sure what's up or down, left or right. All you know is you gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The music is loud. It hurts your head, and you can't hear yourself think.

It's perfect.

It's been so long since you allowed yourself to go out and drink. A party with friends is a guaranteed good time.

You decided to dress up. The way you dress is an excellent way to hide your emotions or so you've been told. A black dress, your favorite black dress. The little back dress that every woman is supposed to own. You paired it with red heels your sister gifted you two Christmas ago. Makeup was simple, but you did go with a bold red lip. It always made you feel more confident.

You're three shots in when you hear a voice behind you. You ignore it at first but turn around when they say your name.

"Jake?"

"In the flesh." He jokes.

"Oh my gosh!" You bring him in a hug before pulling back to get a good look at him. "I didn't know you were in town. Do you know Alex?"

"No, his sister is my girlfriend."

Your eyes widen. "No, we talk once a week, and you've never mentioned the girlfriend. Since when?" You punch his shoulder.

"We've been together close to eight months now." A big grin on his face.

"My best friend is all grown up. Committed relationship, met the family, next is moving in or baby if you're following your dad's footsteps." You tease.

"No, baby, but we are moving in together. My lease in Seattle is up, and she has hers for another year."

"I'm happy for you." You place a hand on his forearm, letting it rest there. "She's amazing, and we get along so well. It's perfect."

He nods, and you keep chatting as if no time has passed. It's comfortable with Jake, he's been your best friend since childhood, and although your sister thought you'd end up together, it just didn't work. You kissed once, and it was like kissing a wall. It's a sibling love, one that will never fade.

He clears his throat, causing you to look at him. "I heard about," You cut him off before he can continue.

"Think everyone has, but I'm good. I won't lie and say I've been fine because I haven't been, but I'm getting better." You tell him truthfully.

"Was it bad?"

You run a hand through your hair. "Awful. No yelling, we never liked to yell just lots of crying. I did the crying, and he did the heartbreaking."

He nods and hands you another shot that you accept happily.

"I was so lost the first week that I thought about moving from the state, the country." You laugh at the thought now. "But here is home, at least for now."

"Have you seen him? I know he always disliked me."

"That is true, could never get him to see you were just Jess to my Cece."

"Obviously, I was Cece." He fakes a hair flip.

"Well, of course, all I do is go home and break out singing to any song."

"Never change, buttercup." He kisses your head and then tenses up.

"Think I'd be six feet under if laser eyes existed."

"What makes you say that." You go to turn around, but he doesn't let you.

"He's at a table with Alex. Drink in hand, looking our way, and he doesn't look happy. Do you think he's going to march this way?" His hold tight on you.

You groan and lay your head on his chest. "If he made eye contact with you, then yes, he'll be over soon, so that means you got to go find your girlfriend, and I need the bartender's attention."

"Always a phone call away. We leave on Friday, dinner Wednesday." Jake walks away and quickly finds Annie. He whispers in her ear, and she looks your way. A big smile on her face and you blow her a kiss. She grabs it and stuffs it in her boobs. Annie's a weird one, but she's the best.

Knowing he's watching you makes you uncomfortable. He wasn't supposed to be here, this was your night, and now you just want to cry, don't even care about drinking anymore.

You walk out to the balcony and smile at the sight of the moon. LA doesn't allow much stargazing, but the moon always shines bright. Now would be a perfect time for a smoke, except you don't do that. Always were miss goody-two-shoes.

"Nice night." His voice interrupts your thoughts. "A bit chilly for Los Angeles." The deep, smooth voice sends chills down your body, not the weather.

"Weather is always unpredictable here." You mutter.

"How you've been," Harry asks, stepping closer.

"Fabulous."

Sarcastic answer. How typical of you.

"I haven't been that good either."

You're close to tears. "What do you want, Harry?"

"I wanted to check on you. Haven't seen you at any gathering of our friends." He twists his H ring, keeping his hands busy. "Bit worried."

"They're your friends, don't get no right going anymore."

Harry's three steps away. "Not true, everyone in there cares for you. Just because we-" He stops.

He can't even say it. He broke up with you, and he can't even say it.

"They all love you."

"Yeah, well, I wish I loved myself."

Harry flinches as if you've slapped him. The words hurt him, but not as much as they hurt you.

"Don't say that, love."

You turn to him. "I'm sure you want to be friends, and that's great, but I can't now." You let your tears run down your face, not caring that he can see. "I love you, and I was sure you were it for me, but I can't stand being around you without wanting your arms around me. I can't see you talk to everyone yet, not talk to me, but most importantly, I hate that I don't get to be the one going home with you anymore."

Harry remains quiet. Green eyes are filled with tears.

"You have to understand."

"No" You step close to him, heart close to beating out of your chest. "You have to understand that you destroyed us for your career. To benefit yourself, not caring what you broke along the way. It's been one month, and all I can think is that I'm not good enough for Harry Styles, the rockstar. No, he needs another famous person on his arm, not an elementary school teacher who doesn't own a pair of Gucci shoes."

"Please let me," Harry's voice cracks.

"A year. Twelve months. 365 days. All for what, all for nothing. "I love you," and "we'll have a small wedding." It was all a lie. I was just kept around for fun while you took a break from touring. Maybe I'll be good enough to write a song about."

"You don't get to do that." He cries.

"Why not!" You tell. "You broke up with me with no warning out of the blue. We had sex on the kitchen counter, and fourteen hours later, you broke my heart." You have so much sadness and anger, and you know you're close to drowning. "I had no choice but to let you go, but for all I know, you've let go of me weeks before."

"I don't know what to say."

"You're not the man I thought you were." You walk away from the hand on the door. Your back to him, his shoulders are shaking in sobs. "That's the most disappointing thing, you lost yourself in the industry now you're just one of them."

You walk out and catch Julia's eyes. She goes to step forward but stops herself when she sees you shake your head no. You can name everyone in that room, but you know that at the end of the day they'll pick Harry.

It hurts, but all one can do is pick themselves up and move on.

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The days go by slow, but Summer has finally arrived. The California heat is only rising, but it’s a cooler day, and you're at the beach when you look over at your sister laughing as her husband splashes her with water.

Your stomach twists in the worst ways possible, you're jealous and green isn't a good color. You've spent most of the time caring for your two nephews seeing as your sister and husband worked not that you minded you did have the summer off.

It's been four months since the breakup, and some days it feels like it was yesterday. The pain comes crashing back when you wake up and stretch your hand out to touch him but tense up because you know when you open your eyes, he won't be there.

Malibu beach is not a place you've frequented, but little Ty asked for this specifically, and none of you never learned how to tell him no.

You close your book and grab your phone from the bottom of the bag. Slip your hoodie over your head, the breeze picking it up, and adjust your black shorts. You signal to Tess that you're going for a walk and that you have her phone. She sends a thumbs up. There you go on a walk with your back towards the sun.

It's funny, before dating Harry you walked the beach every Sunday on your own. Enjoying the laugh of families and the seagulls flying high. Then he joined you and together hand in hand, you'd walk down talking and sometimes just taking in the silence allowing the waves to do all the talking for you. Towards the end, he'd convince you to stay in and cuddle him, and beach Sunday became cuddle Sundays. You can’t remember a time you did go on a walk alone again when you were with him.

In the end, you lost both. Lost Harry and lost the love of the ocean because of the painful memories tied to it. With time you must remember the things lost and changed, but this is something you're reclaiming. Routine is constant and good. It gives stability and strength.

"Sweetie," you hear someone yell but keep on walking. It's probably a child going in too deep.

You stop when you hear your name being yelled and turn expecting to see Tess but instead are met with kind blue eyes. A sincere smile on her face. It's Anne.

"Oh dear, thought it was you." She says.

"Hi, Anne." You say a bright look of surprise on your face.

Anne steps in close and puts her arms around you in a big hug. A mother's embrace is one you've longed for and will continue to long for the rest of your life. Anne treated you as a daughter from the moment you met, and that's something you're sad to have lost.

"You look so tan, how long have you been in town?" You ask, admiring her as you pull away.

"A week. Came down to visit Harry." She offers a small smile at the name of her son.

"That's great. Summer's a good time to enjoy the ocean here." Anne nods, agreeing. "How were you able to spot me?" You ask genuinely surprised she was able to do so.

"I'd recognize you anywhere. The yellow jumper helped."

You look down and chuckle. "It does shout "look at me.""

You stand there a few more seconds looking around nervous to ask her to join you, but you really liked her company, and as much as you like being alone now was not the time.

"I was just walking down, would you like to join me?" You look down at your toes afraid she'd say no.

"Oh, yes, my dear. Sounds fantastic."

She takes a step forward, and off you go. It's quiet, not the uncomfortable kind, but allows you to get lost in your own thoughts with no pressure of not starting a conversation. Your thoughts are calm, it might be the ocean or Anne, but you're grateful. Losing Harry wasn't just losing him, it was losing everyone that he introduced you to. You were friends for over a year before you started to date. You met Anne a month into the friendship, and it was easy. She doted on you for your kind and quiet nature. She had said something about your aura being pure.

You didn't have a mom, she died when you were three in a car accident. Your dad being in and out of rehab but enough to keep the roof over your head. Once Tess turned eighteen, she got an apartment and moved you both in. At eleven years old, you got the call your dad died. Tess adopted you, and ever since then, it was the two of you. That is until she met Andrew in a biology class. He helped Tess pass with an A. Turns out that he was studying to be a doctor. They started dating once the semester was over and didn't look back. Tess was always a good student, maintaining A's and B's while caring for you. Andrew learned of the situation and didn't leave like most people would do no, he stayed right there. He became a constant and even began to help with school work and projects. You always told Tess that you were preparing her to be a great mom. Andrew's family was very accepting of Tess; they treated her as their own, but you never felt like you belonged. It was the perfect family, but you didn't see where you fit in. Tess knew that, but she reminded you that she wasn't going to walk away from you that you would always be her number one. To this day, it stands true, obviously falling a little under her children, but love still strong.

But with Anne, she didn't see you as someone broken or lost but someone who needed a bit more love. Love is what she has given you, she became your friend, someone you could trust in along with Gemma. It felt like your world was falling apart when Harry broke up with you because you couldn't turn to them, and your sister had her family to worry about. You always were good at becoming unseen when needed. Never wanting to be a bother. Except, here with her by your side, you don't know how you're supposed to let her go.

Anne stops walking and takes a seat in the sand, placing her sandals by her side, and you join her without questioning her.

"I waited for your phone call. Every day for the past week when Harry gave me the news even though I knew you wouldn't call." Anne cleared her throat softly. "I hoped you would."

You sigh. Those words were enough to bring tears to your eyes. You thought you were dried out of tears, but you were wrong. "I was close on many nights but- I-I it felt wrong too. He's your son, how could I do that to him?"

"He may be my son, but you're important too. My heart has enough space in there for you in a relationship with him or not."

You nod. Trying to wrap that around your head that she loves you even though Harry does not.

"The breakup came out of nowhere. The day before we're fine talking about adopting a cat and the next, he sits me down to tell me we're breaking up." You block the memories trying to resurface and trace small circles on the sand.

You did out a seashell and cleaned it off before asking your question.

"Did he tell you why he was doing it?" It hurts to ask, but you need to know if he was honest with her.

Anne sighs but nods. "He said that it wasn't going to work out. You couldn't handle the public eye anymore and that it would only continue to affect you and your job. Said something about not fitting the image."

A tear falls down, but you're quick to wipe it away. "He sat me down and told me we were breaking up. Didn't let me ask why or anything. A year together is nothing in this industry, we barely made it a month to the public eye. You'll be forgotten quickly, also tell me that because he was working on the new album, he needed an image more than the one he had."

"That's not who I raised him to be," Anne says, disappointment evident in her voice.

"Although he broke my heart, I still love him. I still love him as much as I did when we first got together. I just don't trust him."

Anne grabs your hand and links it together. She anchors you together because although she knows that she said you can count on her, this would most likely be the end of your relationship. Neither of you wants to admit it.

"It's funny, the first month I avoided every place we ever went together, and it was hard because we did a lot around here. There are roads I avoid completely. This is my second time back at this beach, and I loved it here." You run a hand through your tangled hair due to the ocean breeze. "But now I'm going back to these places, and I pray every time I get out of the car not to run into him even though that's exactly what I want to happen. It's cliche, I know, but I really did lose my best friend." The tears are falling silently, and you are grateful Anne doesn't comment on it, but you swear you can see her eyes glisten. You rest your head on her shoulder and look out at the waves, no clouds in sight, just a clear blue sky. How you wish your brain would look this blank.

There's so much you want to tell Harry now months after the breakup, but there's the fear of breaking down in front of him.

"Anne"

"Yes, darling." She responds softly.

"I-I uh-" You clear your throat. "If I were to give you a letter to Harry, would you give it to him. There are some things I need to get off my chest, and he needs to know."

"That I can do."

You sit up and grab both her hands and bring them to your chest. She looks at your love and sadness in her eyes. "You can only give it to him when you know he's better. He will need to hear this later when our hearts don't ache as much. When you as a mom realize he needs it. It'll be the closure we both need."

"I promise."

You make plans to meet for breakfast the next morning as she has no plans and knows he's busy. You'll deliver the letter and be on your way, closing that door behind you. You spend half an hour together more before you walk her down to the pier and make your way back to your sister. Heart heavy but not as broken.

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You roll over and smile when you see Harry still asleep. He's lying on his stomach, and his head turned in your direction. You lay on your side, happy to admire him. There's a hint of a smile on his face, must be from the dream he is having. His long eyelashes resting on his cheeks, looking delicate and fragile. Not an inch of stress on his face. You can't help yourself and bring your index finger up to trace over his plump pink lips. Soft. You stop when you see him twitch a little but continue when he lets out a small snore. The room is quiet; your apartment is not located on a busy street, something your sister said was a must for when your nephews came to stay. You let Harry rest and get up going to the living room. You sit on the floor looking out at the window at the birds flying around, chirping away basking in the morning sun. You hear the creek of your door and know Harry is on his hunt for you. He's clumsy, so you won't be surprised if he crashes into the couch. He still must be tired. You hear a quiet "shit" and let out a chuckle. He stumbled around the corner with his misplaced shoes. You don't comment on it knowing he'd just turn the blame on you because he got out of bed for you.

"Poppet, after last night, I thought you'd like to wake up in my arms." Harry sits behind you, the blanket wrapped around him now being placed over you as he drags you into his lap.

"I'm an early riser, you know that."

He sighs into your ear. "Means I didn't tire you out enough last night."

"Oh no, you did just that. The bruises are proof."

He laughs and kisses your neck lightly three times.

"Coffee in the kitchen if you want some. Also, some muffins Gabby bought me for taking her dog on the hike with me."

"I want something else for breakfast." He whispers into your ear. His hand sliding up your thigh. He's met with your black shorts, he knows there is nothing underneath seeing as he put these on for you. "Will you let me?"

"Only cause you asked nicely."

Harry is quick to lay you on your back. Your shorts come off just as quickly, he pushes your shirt up to expose your breasts. He sits back on his knees and allows you to see how hard he is in his shorts.

"You're beautiful" He breathes out. "A true dream."

"You told me that last night repeatedly." You remind him how he whispered in your ear at dinner with your friends around how the red dress had him hard as soon as he saw you walk in. You knew that if he picked you up, you would not have left your apartment. The night ended precisely how you wanted with Harry in your bed. Three months dating, it felt right.

It was perfect.

He leans in, placing small kisses on your calves, slowly moving up to your thighs. He kissed last night's bruises gently, a reminder of how rough he got once he got a taste of you. It drove him crazy.

"Smell so sweet." He dragged his lips up to your core. His tongue between your folds, you moan softly under him. He pressed little kisses to your clit, you felt him smiling against you when he felt your thighs begin to tremble.

You let out a louder moan when he slipped a finger inside, your hands reached down to grasp at his hair. He pulled back to look up at you with dark eyes, smiling at you with wet lips.

"You're a tease, baby." You breathe out as he slips in a second finger. He moves slowly, building up the pressure.

He brings his mouth back down to your clit, gently grazing his teeth over it.

"Oh, fuck!" You gasp.

"C'mon poppet, come for me." A moan leaves your lips when his tongue picks up speed, making up for the loss of his fingers. "Please, let go for me."

You grip his hair harder, letting your orgasm take over your whole body. His tongue slowing down as you throw your head back and lay your hands on your side. He slowly works you through it until he sees your breathing come down, gentle kisses to your hips. He works up until he gets to your breasts. He leans in kissing each one gently. "Sorry, I neglected these beauties. I got so lost in you."

Harry continues to move slowly, but you have had enough of slow. You pull him up into your arms, until he settles on top and kiss him until it leaves you breathless.

You taste yourself on him, Harry kissing you harder as your hand begins to trail down to his shorts. He breaks the kiss and leans your head left, giving him more access to your neck, which he accepts quickly. He's slow and gentle compared to last night.

"Going to let me make love to you, poppet." You nod wishing he'd move quicker as he kicks his shorts away.

“Yes” You whisper, he’s building up the anticipation.

He lines himself up, slowly pushing in. You let out a whispered fuck at his size. He goes in gently, not wanting to hurt you, always wanting you to feel good.

Harry leans forward, kissing you as he begins to move against you.

"Baby," You breathe out. "B-baby-y-y faster."

Harry keeps your lips close, his breathing picking up. Whispered words against your lips. “I'm going to make love to you for the rest of my life. It's you and me, poppet."

Your eyes shoot open, and you're quick to look around. You're in bed, left side empty.

He's not here.

He hasn't been here for months. Why does he keep coming back? Your brain needs to let him go, but you know that isn't the one holding on to him.

You get out of bed and walk to the kitchen for a glass of water. There has never been an easy way to move on. This letter might be the best start.

Harry,

I love you. I'll always love you.

That's hard to stay, but it's the truth. You are my best friend. Remember the first time we talked on the phone and how we didn't want to hang up, so we talked about everything. From my first broken bone to your job at a bakery. You told me all about your childhood and all your dreams. At that time, I thought I would be at your side cheering you on as you were accomplishing them but that’s not the case. Just know that I'll be rooting for you.

I'm sorry I didn't fight for you. Guess it seemed like I didn't love you, but I did. I do. I think only ever having my sister on my side, I never realized I never learned to fight for those I love. Never doubt my love, it's real.

Don't be afraid to move on and love again, you deserve it. You deserve the greatest love out there.

Remember, just because you love summer doesn't mean it can stay because who knows what October can bring.

Maybe one day we'll find a way back into each other's lives, but until then, take care, H.

Y/N

You put it in the envelope and seal it. You write his name on the front.

It's time to close the chapter, time to move onto the next.

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October has finally rolled in, and you couldn't be more excited. Autumn brings in the cold and the changing of the leaves, but if you were to ask the students, it just means candy. For the month each Friday, a new activity is done in honor of Halloween. Your classroom is decorated in pictures drawn of your student's favorite movies. As well as small pumpkin string lights your sister gifted you last year. Your classroom door has black paper covering it and white ghosts—22 one for each student with their name on them stuck to it. You added caution tape to give it more detail. Then added small pumpkins around. It reads "Spooky Students" the class had a good laugh at the name, proper pleased.

The first week was simple, doing a math game.

Candy corn math.

The children enjoyed it, all having fun adding and subtracting. Tina ate one and almost cried because she thought she'd get in trouble. You assured her it was all for fun. Then let them all eat their treats as you played them Halloween music. Fridays are meant to relax and have fun. That's exactly what you show your students.

The second week they make spider headbands. Grace, your teacher assistant, helps with the cutting and stapling. The students enjoy gluing the spider's eyes most. It's an easy project when the students are focused on it. You have an hour of the day left and decide to play, It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. It's starting, and as you're organizing the glues and packing away the scissors in their pencil boxes, Nicole, the front desk assistant, tells you there's a package you have to sign for. You nod to Grace to look over the class, and she gives you a thumbs up in return. As you reach the main office, you see a baker with two boxes chatting with Matthew Collins, the Vice-Principal.

"Good afternoon gentlemen, I assume this is for me." You say, pointing to the pink boxes.

"Good afternoon, got your kids treats, I see." He acknowledges.

You shake your head, stepping to look at the note sitting on top of the box. You flip it open.

Figured you and the children deserved a sweet treat. Take care, honey. xx Anne

PS: A dozen snickerdoodle cookies are waiting for you at home.

Anne, always so sweet and thoughtful. You had kept in contact with her after that time you handed her the letter. You came to realize you couldn't lose her, and she wasn't about to let you go without a fight.

"A good friend actually sent them, knows how excited we get for October." You tuck the note in your cardigan pocket.

"Well, that's a great friend to have. I hope your class and you enjoy it. Have a great weekend." Mr. Collins leaves, and you bid goodbye to the baker.

As you make your way back to your class with two dozen cupcakes, you can't wipe the grin on your face. They are going to be so excited. The cupcakes are half chocolate and half vanilla. The orange frosting swirled beautifully on each one, each topped with a spider ring.

You return, and all the kids are focused on the scene when Sally begins to yell at Linus as he's waking up for making her miss the Halloween festivities. Grace is quick to help you tell the kids you have a surprise for them all. The movie still plays as Grace places napkins on their desks.

"A friend sent me a treat for you all because she heard how wonderful you've been doing." You tell them slowly approaching closer for them to see the box in your hand. "Say, do any of you like cupcakes." Cheers filled the room with your words.

You both worked fast to give them each a cupcake of choice, no arguing whatsoever. Kind students you have. Grace grabs chocolate, and you grab the last vanilla for yourself. Grace lets you know she's going to get waters from the cafeteria to give to them.

You sit at the back counter legs cup, leaning against a llama poster that says, "We love learning." A small gift for Julia. You grab the cupcake and fix your spider headband before taking a picture to send to Anne.

Y/N: Cupcakes were a real success. I can't thank you enough. Love you, xx.

Anne: Don't you look precious.

Anne: Glad, you all enjoyed it. Love you xx

It's an excellent way to end the week with a sweet treat from Anne and good old classic Charlie Brown.

It is now the third week. The four first grade classes made a trip to the pumpkin patch. The school budget did get slightly raised this year, allowing you to buy small easy to carry pumpkins for each student. Parent chaperones are enabling you to make smaller groups to take each student to different activities. Your small group of six decided on the slide mountain that was atop of bales. It was fun, even going down yourself. Then that led you to picking pumpkins. Joey has trouble deciding before leaving the slightly bigger one when his arms got tired. You decided to get two big ones and two small pumpkins to take to your sister's house and you could carve together this weekend. It was now your turn for the hayride, and Chloe was really excited. She was the first one on, and as the trip went on, her head kept turning, wanting to see it all. This place really outdoes themselves each year, decorations only getting better. As it was closing time to go back to school, all students sat at the tables awaiting their apple cider and cinnamon-sugar donuts.

You were about to take a seat next to Henry, the shyest student in your class when your name is called. You turn around and see Jeff, Harry's manager, and friend.

"Hi Jeff," You step close and accept the hug he offers.

"How have you been?" He asks.

You nod. "Good, welcoming the cold weather."

"It is nice."

Your grin begins to fade slightly as the small talk gets awkward. It's been a long time since you've seen Jeff. Not at all, forgetting how important a friend he was to you as well as Glenne.

"What brings you here?"

"On a class field trip." You gesture to the table behind you, seeing the kids sneak glances at you.

"That is wonderful, good class this year?"

You grin thinking about each of your students. "The best."

"Her cider is getting cold." Susan whispers, the small wide-eyed blonde says to Joey, worrying for you.

"I've got to go back, probably going to bomb me in questions as soon as I sit."

"Of course." Jeff smiles in understanding.

"Tell Glenne I say hello. Take care, Jeff."

You turn around, heading to the table. You laugh as your students quiet down as you take a seat.

"Alright, what do you want to know now?"

The students always take your mind off everything. No conversation is ever dull, still trying their best to find out more about their teacher.

Although seeing Jeff was nice, he's not the person you wished to run into every day.

No, that someone has beautiful brown curls and emerald green eyes.

The end of day breezes by, back in the classroom, the students grabbed their backpacks and walked out front to meet their parents. As you tidy up the classroom, Grace walks in a tight smile on her face. You know she has something to ask, but don't pressure her to do so.

"Was that man a friend, we saw you with," Grace asks, wiping down the desks, "mom's were gossiping, thinking you were being asked out or was an old flame. Don't have to tell me, but he did look like a friend, at least an old one."

You close your planner, happy with the coming week's plan. "My ex's friend.." You explain. "We were close. He was always kind and welcoming. Lost a lot of people during the breakup."

She shoots you a small smile. "Never easy, but you don't get through it alone. Some people are meant to come into your life as lessons."

Grace's optimism never fails to make you grin. "That is really nice to hear."

"I keep waiting for the grand gesture for my ex to sweep me off my feet." Talking about this, tears at your heart, but it has weighed you down. "I just want to run into him. Go to our favorite places in hopes of seeing him even just for a moment."

"That means you're not ready to put yourself out there?" Her voice was full of curiosity.

"Correct. I love Harry, I always will, but my heart seems to be holding on for some reason."

"I'm a phone call away if you ever want to get drunk and watch movies and eat our weight in food." She offers sincerely.

"I'll keep that in mind."

Grace bids you goodbye and walks out. It's nice to be reminded you have people around you supporting you, but all you want today is to see the sunset and you know just the spot.

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Malibu is known for having the best spots for the ocean view and standing here, a blanket wrapped around you, hearing the waves continue to crash with the rocks below you believe it is. You came here because you know not many people know about this location and if the other two cars there say anything about it continues to be unknown.

Growing up in Southern California, you have always been grateful to have the ocean nearby. You and your sister would always make your way here to celebrate good days or to clear your head. You spent your day here when you got accepted into UCLA and when Andrew proposed to Tess. This place is full of good memories; it's like being there all the bad in your life disappears. Bringing Harry here for the first time was a big step in your relationship, it was you letting him get to know you, no barriers in the way.

You hear a car pull up, but don't bother looking over thinking the person might be heading down the trail. It's a couple, and you can hear the girl whisper something then heads off to the dirt trail. You're not sure how long you stand there when you take one final look before unwrapping the blanket and placing it in your trunk. Just as you are about to close it, you hear your name called.

You turn around quickly and are surprised to see him. You weren't even aware he was here, last you heard he was on the last leg of his world tour.

He's dressed in a black Columbia hoodie, grey Nike shorts, and black running shoes. His hair has beautiful long curls, and he's got a clean-shaven face, always made him look younger but does give a good view of his strong jawline.

"Harry," You breathe out.

Your heart is beating so fast you think it might jump out of your chest. You've been waiting for the day you run into him, but it was not today.

It might be the worst day. After a field trip with first graders, no one is making out as clean as they arrived that morning. Your lavender knitted sweater has sugar stains, and your old blue jeans have dirt on your knees from kneeling to help with the pumpkins. You wore old black converse never bothered with the dust, but this time you wish you had your back up pair. You don't even want to imagine how your hair looks. You snap out of your thoughts when Harry stops giving you a once over and breaks the silence.

"I always seem to find my way here." He tells you, looking down at his shoes.

You sit in your open trunk of your CR-V and scoot over to let him know to sit. He does so without saying more. It's a heavy silence, but you don't give it much thought looking out at the ocean.

"I got your letter."

The letter you wrote four months ago. If you're honest, you didn't think back to that since you handed it over to Anne.

"When?" You questioned.

"Two weeks ago," He looks over at you, staring at you, waiting for you to look over at him. "How long did mum have it?"

You lock eyes with him, his eyes filled with curiosity and kindness. "Since June." You look away, not able to take in all the emotions coming up. "Guess you were finally ready for it."

Harry nods and stands up, and he walks a few steps before making his way back to stand in front of you. He looks nervous about sharing, and all you can do is offer him a smile. He lets out a deep breath.

"I went on this date that Jeff set up for me, and it was awful. Nice girl, but everything felt wrong. It was wrong." He runs a hand through his loose curls as if to get rid of the nerves. "I looked at her, closed my eyes, and opened them, and the person I wanted it to be was not in front of me."

Harry's looking at you as you try to wrap your head around his words. You don't know how to respond. He was waiting for you, but he was the one who left you.

"You didn't realize it until then?" You're confused. It took him eight months to realize he made a mistake.

He stares right at you, not wanting you to miss his next words. "I realized it the second you walked out the door."

Your face drops at his words.

Harry runs a hand down his face before taking a step forward. "I tried to find you. I would go all over Los Angeles hoping to run into you, but I stopped after the party when you told me the truth."

"I was harsh, felt awful at how I handled it afterward."

"Don't apologize," he gives you a half-smile, "I deserved that. Honestly, I needed it."

You both go silent. You're staring at one another, memorizing each other's faces that you had begun to forget. You could stare at Harry forever, and you always told him that he had a face one could get lost in forever, finding new details to memorize.

"Do you even remember that night?" You ask because you know you do. It used to haunt your dreams until it didn't. That day no longer lingers at the back of your head, but if you think back to it, all the emotions come again, hitting you harder than ever.

Harry sighs, "Every time I close my eyes."

You walk into your apartment, surprised at the quietness. Harry always liked to have music playing. He's sitting on the couch staring at the black screen of his phone.

"H, ready to cook dinner, got home early because you said you wanted lasagna tonight. Always faster when we cook together." Stepping closer to see why he's sitting so still on the couch.

"Sit with me." He whispers, patting the seat next to him.

You sit down, reaching to grab his hand, and he lets you. He squeezes it tightly before letting go.

"I love you." His eyes meet yours. He looks in pain. "But I'm breaking up with you."

A million thoughts run through your head. Harry's breaking up with you. He's leaving you.

He looks at you, waiting for you to say something. "It's not easy for me, but it's what's best for my career. I will be going back on tour soon, releasing a single. You wouldn't handle all the attention with paparazzi well, so I'm saving you. It's easier for others in the business, but you wouldn't survive this"

His words cut daggers into your heart.

It's best for my career.

It keeps repeating in your head, his job, he doesn't think you're enough for his lifestyle. You weren't enough to keep him happy.

"Harry, it doesn't-" The tears are rolling down your face, you can tell he wants to reach over to wipe them, but he holds himself back. "So this is it?"

He nods. "The end for us, but we can-" You cut him off before he can say, friends.

You already had him in your life as a friend. You can't go back to that not after knowing how he loves being the little spoon, how much he loves his hair being played with, but most importantly, how kind and gentle of a lover he is. He has so much love to give and do not receive that any more will break your heart: no kisses, no hugs, and no love.

You grab your keys, bag, and slip your shoes on. "Goodbye, Harry."

He stands eyes red, he looks sad, but he has no right. He wanted this, not you. His house had become a second home, but now you feel like an unwelcome guest. You walk out without looking back each step towards your car, making you cry harder.

This is the end. An end, you never saw coming.

It seems like you were both lost in the memory when you hear Harry begin to weep quietly. Your heart pulls you in two ways, wanting to comfort him or sitting there, letting him cry, but before you can decide, he's wiping his tears.

He lifts his head to meet your eyes, his eyes keep filling with tears, but he doesn't bother to wipe them anymore. "Are you happy?" he whispered.

You nod a small smile on your face to assure him. "I am. I'm not sad and miserable anymore, but I'm also not filled with sunshine. I lost a lot when we broke up; you have to know that," He nods letting you know he's listening. "I also found myself, found love I lost over the years. Found love in me."

He smiles when he hears that his dimples were coming out. "That day at the party, I was in the worst place possible, but I reached out to my sister and told her I needed therapy. I wouldn't have gone if it weren't for my sister's support. Honestly, you were in the back of my mind because you shared to me how important and impactful it was for you, and I know I had so much to share not just from the breakup but from my childhood."

"I'm glad." He chokes out his voice, rough from crying.

"I am too." You smile because this is nice. All the running you did didn't allow you to talk with Harry, but the time has come, and you're grateful for that.

"I wasn't planning on coming up here today, obviously," You gesture to your dirty clothes. "I had that pull to come here as soon as I was pulling out of the school parking." You confess to him.

"I finished a yoga class and was on my way home when I took the wrong exit," Harry corrects himself, "Or well the right turn looking at it now."

You're not sure where you stand with Harry, but you both know the feelings are still there. As if they never left.

"We can't pick up where we left off."

Harry nods, agreeing. "In that case, may I take you out on a date Sunday?"

"I'd love that, Harry."

You stand up and pull him in for a hug. You know you surprise him because he tenses up before wrapping his arms around you. You sigh as you feel Harry squeeze you tight. He breathes you in, and you can't help but let out a small laugh.

"Did you just sniff me?" You're laughing against his chest feeling his heartbeat pick up.

"Oi, don't laugh at me. You smell like strawberries." He defends.

"Pretty sure I smell like dirt and sweat. A field trip running around kids will do that to you."

"I disagree." He pulls back to look down at you, but you keep your head on his chest, liking being in his arms. "Always smell great."

You move to pull back, thinking it must be too much too soon for both of you, but Harry doesn't let you. He holds on tighter. "Couple more minutes, please love," He whispers against your hair. You nod and let him begin to sway you both gently as if you were both ones with the wind.

"Is it too forward to ask to kiss you?" Harry asks timidly.

You lean back and laugh before looking up at him, his eyes hopeful but also knowing. "It is."

"It was worth a shot."

Harry leans in to gently press a kiss to your forehead, his lips soft. He steps back after a few seconds. "I'll call you."

You nod. "Please do."

Harry holds his car door open but makes no move to step in as if waiting for something. You don't want him to leave.

"Harry," You call out. He turns around and shoots you a cheesy smile causing you to smile back. "I really want you to kiss me, trust me but,"

Harry nods in understanding. "Slow and steady, love."

You stare at him, and his eyes are bright and hopeful. Hopeful in their future together. "Slow and steady, we can do that."

Just like that, you and Harry both drive away from each other, but your future together has never looked brighter.

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Thank you for reading! I love you

Come talk to me and tell me what you thought of Into You

#harry styles writing #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles one shot #harry styles story #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles imagine #harry styles #my writing

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bigskydreaming · 3 years

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(Same lightning crashes anon here) thank u for answering my word vomit 😂 one thing I forgot to say in my ridiculous long ask was that I just really love how for once it’s Scott and his pack who know things? Like in the show Scott and his pack were always having to find out information as they had each different crisis (they always seemed at a disadvantage at first I mean), and in fanfic it’s always stiles who somehow knows everything and is just super knowledgeable about everything, or the hales etc 🙃 very petty of me but I love how my fave and his pack are the ones here who know more about the supernatural world, and who have connections with important people, and who know important information about things - Scott is too nice, but part of me is hoping Aiden or malia or someone who cares less would remind certain people that they are not actually the be all and end all of knowledge and should probably get off their high horse before they get shown up.. saw it a bit with aiden and Ethan roasting the whole ‘anything but human sacrifices’ conclusion and it was very satisfying lmao

LOL I honestly love these asks and sorry for not getting to this one sooner. I’ve been sitting on it for awhile because I wanted to respond when I posted the next chapter, which has been my focus like all month, its just because its been literal years I’m trying to make sure when I do post I’m able to get out this whole next chunk of the story out in quick succession, because it makes up kinda its own little arc and I’ll feel better about not having interruptions between it. So I want to get at least up to Chapter 10, which has been written for literal years and is one of my fave bits of the whole story, and its just a couple of the POV sections in between that I’m still toiling away on. Ideally I would love to get up to Chapter 13 and the introduction of Bloody Mary, the queen of the New York vampires as she’s a hoot and a half to write but we’ll see. LOL we’re talking about a good 50K worth of stuff already, it’ll at least double the existing published word count, and I’ve been chafing to post for awhile now.

If curious, the breakdown of the upcoming chapters, done the way I usually style each chapter’s three section summaries:

Chapter 6: Kira confronts Scott at school, Liam encounters the nogitsune, and back in Beacon Hills, another body is discovered. (Kira POV, Liam POV, Allison POV).

Chapter 7: Meredith visits Scott at Otherworld, offering dire warnings in her oh so cryptic fashion, Josh negotiates with the sirens for safe passage for the pack should it come to that, but they demand a favor in return, and in Beacon Hills, a long held secret comes to light and drives a wedge between the twins. (Scott POV, Josh POV, Aiden POV).

Chapter 8: Meredith plays a dangerous game, Theo’s forcibly drafted by a new player on the board and the sirens’ mysterious shipment coming in at the docks has all the old movers and shakers in town on edge and fortifying their places of power. There’s a storm on the rise. (All Theo POV, its a break from the traditional three POV structure and kinda a single long interlude thing).

Chapter 9: Kira continues her investigation as to just who and what Scott really is and what agenda he’s pursuing, Hayden spies on her sister, newly arrived in town, and debates reaching out to her, and back in Beacon Hills, Danny enlists Boyd’s help in preparing some contingencies in case the Hale pack is right to be wary of the twins as the night of the double date approaches. (Kira POV, Hayden POV, Boyd POV).

Chapter 10: The artifact being smuggled in by the sirens on behalf of an unknown third party arrives at the docks while Scott’s pack ensures it gets where its supposed to go, but there are numerous parties with other plans for it - some seeking it for their own designs while others think its best dropped into the bottom of the ocean - and all out chaos erupts on the docks in a many-sided fight for a single prize that ends up missing when all is said and done. (Long chapter, almost 15K, and lots of small subsections from tons of POVs from all different corners of the operation and ensuing fight. Scott POV, Tracy POV, Malia POV, Josh POV, Theo POV, Meredith POV).

And if I do get up to Chapter 13, that would be:

Chapter 11: Meanwhile, back in Beacon Hills, date night arrives while the Hale pack spies unobstrusively from a distance - or at least, that’s the intended idea. But when Julia Baccari is in town, what you see is not always what you get. (Lydia POV, Julia POV, Isaac POV).

Chapter 12: Having fallen into a somewhat comfortable give-and-take routine with Scott, Kira is aware something big is up with Scott and his friends and decides to try a different approach to getting answers, as she sets out to trail Scott after school. Back in Beacon Hills, Ethan tries to figure out just what the hell went wrong at the end of date night and why the Hale pack seems to have suddenly ramped up their wariness towards the twins to DEFCON 1. In New York, Brett has an unexpected encounter with Liam’s new friend Mason, only to be interrupted by an all out alarm from Carrie - someone snatched Scott on his way to work at Otherworld and no one knows where he is or who has him. (Kira POV, Ethan POV, Brett POV).

Chapter 13: Bloody Mary, queen of the city’s vampires, wants to know just who exactly has **** ****’s necklace right now and how worried about that she needs to be, and thinks Scott has the answers. ‘I don’t know’ is not what she’s looking for. Theo’s new employer has made it clear he expects Theo to find it or get it from whoever has it ASAP, which puts him on Scott’s trail and in the unexpected position to play rescuer and curry some favor at the cost of revealing himself.....but another option presents itself when he realizes he’s not the only one shadowing Scott. Back in Beacon Hills, while digging into the how of the nogitsune’s release from the Nemeton, Aiden realizes that the local vet is a druid. (Scott POV, Theo POV, Aiden POV).

Anyway anyway.

As to the subject of your ask......yessssss. That was one of my big aims with this story because its SUCH a pet peeve to me, how often allegedly ‘smarter’ characters on the show are praised for having knowledge that’s wholly situational and has nothing to do with how intelligent the characters are for knowing it? Like.....Stiles knows stuff....that he was literally just shown googling and that’s how he knows it. And Derek knows stuff....because he grew up in a werewolf pack who told him about kitsunes and other supernatural creatures. Etc, etc. And yet so often Scott is labeled dumb for just not knowing stuff that he’s not MEANT to know in the show because on the show he’s meant to fill the role of the everyman kid who was thrust uninformed into a world he had no way to prepare for.....and the show wanted to KEEP him in that fish out of water headspace for a lot of the show, like, it was deliberate? And again, wholly situational?

So that was definitely one of the things I deliberately set out to do differently with this fic, because I was like......this pack has been all over the country, encountered tons of creatures, beings and figures of all types, and are smack in the middle of a supernatural hot spot in New York. They’re gonna know all about the supernatural world and community just by nature of their EXPERIENCES.

And yes, Scott may not be the type to lord greater knowledge or experience over know-it-alls who like to be vague and cryptic to cover up when they don’t actually know as much as they claim to, but as you said, that’s what he has Aiden and Malia for lolololol.

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bottleofspilledink · 4 years

Text

God’s Watching, Put on a Show || Chapter XI

The air was cool and crisp, blowing by her and carrying with it the lingering scent of teenage rebellion and the joy that was momentary liberation. Her feet moved swiftly as she waded through waist-high grass, it’s dew caressing the sliver of skin between the end of her pant leg and her sneakers.

The long walk over to the partly hidden, run-down shack they had made their hideout gave her time to think, mind wandering, thoughts racing. And yet, the thirty minutes she walked wasn’t enough for her to sort said thoughts, not enough to know what to do with them, anyways.

She was excited. Who wouldn’t be giddy if something they had waited on for a year now was coming closer with every day, with every passing second, with every step?

Under that, though, there was a sense of dread, Lilith instinctually doubting all the good that was happening to her. Again, I ask, who wouldn’t doubt all the great things that came to them if it were drilled into them everyday that they simply weren’t deserving of it, too sinful to be worthy of anything other than guilt and scorn?

And even deeper than the dread, there was fear.

What if there wasn’t enough money? While Colette’s parents had told her to expect about a few hundred thousands, it was a known fact to all of them that because they were the ones to set the fund up, they could access, and consequently take, money from it as they wished.

What if there was no money at all? Colette not being granted access to her trust fund for some superficial reason was always a real, daunting possibility, leaving her as the one the whole group would have to rely on.

Lilith arrived at their hideaway, almost hesitant to knock at the door, fearing what she could find inside it. This was the one of the two nights that would determine their future. Should she not fear or fret, to a certain extent, that something could go wrong?

Regardless, she soldiered on and knocked.

“Who’s there?” Asked Joan, voice wary and gruff, a slight creak coming from her end probably due to her leaning on the door to make sure no one who wasn’t supposed to get in was able to.

“It’s me.”

The girl’s response was the clicking and clacking of deadbolts before swinging the door open and ushering Lilith inside. It was an unspoken, sorrowful truth the five of them shared, that all the locks they’d placed on the shack weren’t a mere sign to others looking for a place to hang out that it was taken, but an unfortunate, and necessary precaution they had to take due to the simple fact that they were them, that they were gay.

It was so that – if it ever came to it – they could buy themselves a few seconds more.

To hide what they had to, be it alcohol or forbidden books or money.

To come up with a lie, unconvincing as it may be.

To say their dreaded, tearful goodbyes to one another before the inevitable consequence for being them came to claim them.

They wouldn’t have to worry about that for much longer, though. Not if tonight went well. They would never have to worry about it again.

“Where are the others?” She looked around the space they’d made their own, devoid of people save for her and Joan. The time they’d agreed on drew closer and worry slowly made it’s way into the cavity of her chest that seemed to exist for such unpleasantness alone, the part of her she didn’t want, that ever constant fear.

Maybe it would go away once they were out of this town. She hoped it would.

In a better world, she wouldn’t have to feel like this to begin with.

She tried not to think of that too much.

“They came here, pooled together ten bucks, and went back out to buy a pack of cupcakes and a candle for Colette.”

Relief flushed out most of the concern and Lilith allowed herself to plop down on one of the beanbag chairs they got for relatively cheap at a yard sale.

“What about Colette?”

“She’s not here yet,” Joan said, sitting in a near-identical chair from across her, wiggling a bit to try and get comfortable, legs shifting constantly, much more accustomed to the hardwood floor.

“And you guys are sure she’s back from her trip?”

The girl stood up took to leaning on the door again after hearing rustling from outside.

“God, I hope so. It’d be a waste of cash if not.” The girl stood up took to leaning on the door again after hearing rustling from outside. “She said she’d be back on the twentieth.”

A series of knocks came from the other side, panicked, frantic.

“Open up! Colette’s almost here!”

The familiar clinking of metal reverberated around the shack once more, the two girls coming in not even a second after.

“What’s with all the rush?” Joan locked the door once more despite knowing their friend drew nearer by the second. Better safe than sorry. “Doesn’t she know we’re waiting for her?”

Paula gave her no mind, instead sticking a small, pastel blue candle atop one of the cupcakes.

“Joan, dear, your lighter.” She held her palm out, expectant, Joan fished it out from her pocket and passed it over. If Paula wanted to surprise Colette, she might as well indulge her.

Meanwhile, Julia took a lacy tablecloth she had smuggled away from her house during laundry day and smoothed it over the wood of the table, she got the remaining cupcakes from the box, putting them on top of the soft fabric in a short line, careful, making sure none of them touched.

They handed stripped, sparkly party hats to Lilith and Joan, leaving the only one with a small pompom atop it on the table, for Colette.

The set up was modest, intimate, even nostalgic in a sense.

It looked like a child’s tea party. Food just enough for the five who were coming, the silly party favors, the simple decor that could hardly be considered such. All they needed now was a few plastic cups, a teddy bear, perhaps a tutu, and they were good to go.

There was a second after everything was set up before Colette came knocking.

“Guess who’s back from the Bahamas?”

Hushed, excited whispers came from them before they giggled and let her in.

The creak of the door was drowned out by the party horn that Paula had bought.

“Happy birthday!”

“Holy shit, thanks, but I need to tell you guys that those hats make you look like Christmas elves!”

The giggles they had momentarily stifled returned when Lilith put one of said hat on Colette, playfully tugging a strand of her sand coloured hair along the way.

“Then you’re an elf too!”

They cackled and squealed as Colette screamed bloody murder, exaggerated and theatrical.

Julia then held out the cupcake for the girl as the laughter died down and they sang for her, jolly, off-key, filled with love.

“Happy birthday to you!”

They were acting like teenagers. Carefree, joking, happy.

Granted, they were teenagers.

It just wasn’t very often that they felt like one.

“Happy birthday to you!”

As they sang, jovial, unselfconscious of their pitch and tone, Lilith felt all the misery of the day’s happening fade, giving way for their merriment and warmth.

She felt safe.

She felt comfortable.

She felt loved, unconditionally, by this group of misfits, her friends.

Her family.

“Happy birthday, dear Colette!”

There was happiness in the very air they breathed tonight. It wasn’t something they felt often especially nowadays, this sort of infectious joy, this infrequent, sought after euphoria. And yet they basked in it now, fueled by each other’s warmth, feeding off of each other’s joy. This rare, coveted high they had so little of, but shared nonetheless.

“Happy birthday to you!” The final notes were dragged out to a comical extent, punctuated by guffaws and giggles, laughter and lack of breath halting it.

Lilith wished, as Colette blew out the candles and made hers, that the song could have kept going.

She wished her lungs would grow as if they were pufferfish so they could continue that final note til the end of time.

She wished that tonight would never end.

She wished for an eternal, permanent happiness, for all of them.

They settled down after the song, eating cupcakes as they chatted, asking Colette about her trip.

“There were a ton of cute girl in bikinis,” She said in between bites, a bit of green frosting smeared on her pale, chubby cheek. “You guys should come with me on my next trip!”

“Sure, lemme just pull some cash out of my ass and we can fly there on a private jet when Christmas break hits,” Joan cackled, crumpling the polka-dotted wrapper of her cupcake, slightly jostling Paula who sat in her lap.

“Okay, but speaking of money…”

Reminders of their other reason for being here effectively put a damper on everyone’s mood except Colette, who from her skirt pocket took out a crisp, pristine check.

“Will five hundred thousand be enough for us?” She smirked, sliding across the cloth covered table.

The rest of the girl shared glances, incredulous.

“Holy shit.” Julia said, the first to break the for once not terrible silence.

The sentiment was echoed and they all cheered, hugging and crying and hopeful, Colette in the middle of it all, receiving thanks and cheek kisses and hair ruffles, all of them getting pulled down from each other’s weight but refusing to let go, the girls now in a giddy pile on the hardwood floor.

“Well, that was at least nine tons off my shoulders…” The blonde said, finally being released from the tight hug, breathless, short, wheezing laughs coming from all of them as they lay unmoving, tired but happy.

None of them bothered to get up, content to lay on the floor, on each other.

They talked about the future, what they needed to do to reach it, what they wanted to do once they graduated and left town, some serious, some silly, some plans mixed in with some wishful thinking.

“I’m gonna shave all my hair off right after graduation.” Joan declared, flat on her back, eyes fixed to a certain point in the ceiling where the colour of the wood became lighter, large hands holding Paula’s dark ones.

“Yeah?” The voice was Julia’s, but Lilith couldn’t see her, the girl probably above her, just outside her peripherals along with Colette.

“Yeah! I’m not even gonna wait til we get to San Fran. We can just shave it off in the back of my pick-up truck and huck it at whatever car passes us.”

This earned a snicker from the girls, some of them adding what they’d do if whoever they threw it at decided to pursue them, coming up with outlandish excuses for what to tell the cops ranging from ridiculous ones like “she was shedding” and “the wind just blew it away” to outright slander against whoever the hair hit like “they were following us so we tried to throw them off” and “they actually tried to throw that at us, but it backfired.”

“In all seriousness though, we are not cutting your hair while the truck is running. I don’t want my girlfriend ending up with scissors in her skull.” Paula flipped herself over to lay on her stomach and reached over to twirl a lock of Joan’s hair, not caring enough to prop her body up, letting her cheek press against the ground while the others burst into laughter at the mere mention of scissors.

“We chop it off at some gas station bathroom or we wait til we pull over somewhere to camp for the night and do it there.”

“Aww…” They all lamented the loss of a prank before Colette spoke up.

“We can still chuck it at someone if we braid what we can, cut that off, and shave the rest. Then we can hang the braid from a tree and scare hikers!”

“Hell yes!”

The question of what they wanted to do the moment after graduation made it’s way around the circle, the answers varying from things like “take a nap” to “get wasted” and “yeah, getting wasted sounds good!”

“Hey, Lilith! You’ve been hella quiet, dude.” Julia coaxes from somewhere in the room. “C’mon! tell us about whatever the fuck you feel like doing!”

“Hmm… I think I’m gonna give my grandpa the middle finger and fuck his study up,” She nods to herself, the others made her carry on, telling her to stick it to the man and too count them in with her.

“Yeah!” Lilith laughed, throwing her head back as much as the floor beneath her would allow, adrenaline rushing through her at the mere thought of getting back at the man who had made her life a living hell. “I’m gonna get a knife and just stab his armchair and straight up vandalize all his books and smash that stupid paperweight on his desk!”

The girls cheered and jeered, shouting curses at the man and his bald spot and his cock, joking about everything from erectile disfunction to micro-penises til they devolved into fits of manic, belittling laughter.

From there, they bounced from topic to topic, though they always drifted back to thoughts of tomorrow. It was what made life worth living after all, at least for them.

The sights of the city, the courses they wanted to take, possible part-time jobs, the girls they hoped to meet. (Or at least, the single ones did. Joan and Paula added to this by suggesting cute places where they could go to on dates.)

Eventually though, the question was asked.

“So, anything interesting happen while I was out.”

Lilith could immediately tell that those who could see her from the corner of their eyes were staring, leaving her to recount the week’s events.

She sighed, long and loud and long.

“Buckle up. This gets shitty and it gets shitty fast.”

…

It took a good hour and a half to get through everything, the occasional comments from Joan and Julia not very helpful in keeping it short.

“So, let me get this straight-”

“We’re not!” Julia cut Colette off, giving Joan a high-five while the rest of them groaned.

“As I was saying, in the two weeks that I was gone,” she took a deep breath and spoke again, “Lilith started a fire and met a girl and fell in love and told the girl that she started it because she felt bad about fucking sandwiches also the girl is gay and can’t cope with it, which is why when you almost kissed, like, five days after you met, she freaked out and cried and threatened to blackmail you if you told anyone about what happened, then proceeded to act like nothing happened literally this morning and freaked out again cause she saw your boobs and again, couldn’t cope and had a panic attack during lunch and is now actively rebelling against her mother.”

“I wouldn’t say the panic attack and maybe gay realization and acceptance happened cause of Lilith’s hotness, but like, cause we human?” Paula interjected, still somewhat puzzled on how to put all the admittedly intense happening into words, but being the only one with Eve during the majority of her breakdown, the burden fell to her. “I think she saw how the fact we were lesbians doesn’t change how we’re human and how we weren’t evil like what some sermon taught her or something and had a crisis of faith because of it.”

Colette and Julia, who hadn’t been able to hear this part of the story earlier, stood in stunned silence, jaws dropped, socks knocked off.

“Oh wow. Well, that was…”

“A lot?”

“A mood killer?”

“A really bitchy thing to do?”

“All of the above.”

Lilith only shrugged, the “I-told-you-so” more implied than anything.

The night was drawing to a close, the girls knowing and dreading that soon, eventually, in the next thirty minutes, they’d have to go home.

“I think that’s enough for tonight. They’ll turn the lampposts off at three and it’s not safe out without it.”

“Okay, but one last question, is this girl on our side now or what? I mean, we already know she won’t tell anyone we’re gay cause then Lilith could just tell them that she’s gay too, but is she one of us now?”

They exchanged glances before reaching a unanimous “no.”

“She could be, though. If she apologizes for being a dick and accepts the fact she’s gay, all our problems with her are gone.” Joan added, albeit rather begrudging.

The girls nodded, agreeing once more. They felt sorry for her, yes, especially since they all knew what it was like to be in Eve’s place, but it was no excuse.

With those final statements filled with pity, the night was over.

Dusting themselves off, they sat up slowly and stood on wobbly, somewhat numb legs, they helped each other up, some being pulled to their feet, some leaning on other’s for support. Even when their legs didn’t feel like that of a newborn deer’s, their movements were sluggish. No one wanted the night to end, not even Paula, the one who suggested it. They wanted to stay here and sleep and cuddle and feel safe with each other. But so many good things had already happened that night, and no one wanted to push their luck and potentially jeopardize the plan by getting caught.

They left silently, not a single goodbye uttered, not so much as a wave given.

It was probably for the better.

Lilith knew she’d end up in tears if they had to vocalize their parting. It wasn’t like the other nights where they themselves knew that they had not the means to leave, no matter how much they wanted to. This was different. They enough money to leave whenever they wanted, the only things keeping them back were themselves.

She tried not to dwell on it during the walk home, mind shutting off all internal debates about whether it was sadder to be locked up with no choice or to willingly stay, making what was once a cage you were forced in to that of your own.

Instead, she remembered her friends’ echoing laughter, the familial warmth of their company, memories made not even an hour earlier already filtered with fondness and tinted with nostalgia.

It only served to accentuate her sorrow.

_____________________________

Taglist: @anon-nom-nom95 @leahstypewriter @madame-ree @phillyinthebathroom @melpomenismask @littlemisscalamity @gaypeaches @pirateofblood @i-wanna-be-a-rock @extrabitterbrain

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whitelotus-ffxiv · 4 years

Text

lessons learned.

There are plenty of reasons to dislike Claudia fae Caelius.

She’s loud, she’s rude, she gossips, she looks down on the servants within the palace and does little to hide it, she practically pimps out her middle daughter while ignoring the existence of her youngest...

But her most unforgivable sin is that she makes me feel bad for her eldest.

No wonder Laelia is a godsdamned control freak that needs to have her finger on the pulse of everything and everyone around her. It was probably the only way to survive her basket case of a mother.

I watch as this savage invader with her yellow hair walks the halls of the palace, clearly uncomfortable in the clothes that have been gifted to her to wear. I watch as she pinches the silks and satins between her fingers to judge their value, watch as her dark blue eyes narrow and assess the price, and I know what she thinks as she looks over the finery that exists within the Jade Palace.

How could Domans have so much wealth? How could any Domans exist that hadn’t had everything stolen? Didn’t her people take all of the palaces, all of the gold and the jade and the silks? She watches Jun, and she watches the Jade Lord, and I know. I know that she is confused that these royals still exist, that they weren’t exterminated or overpowered.

I wonder just how much it would curl her hair to know what the Jade royals did at the behest of her people to maintain their power and wealth and autonomy.

Just as the little one with the scar begged her mother to leave us be, I hear how the middle Caelius girl pleads with her own mother to not wander the halls too much. They’ve heard the stories from the servants, and I’m sure that they’ve heard the intermittent screaming throughout the nights - either from the dungeons filled with mad women longing for lost children or whatever poor bastard is enduring the Jade Lord and Jun.

The girls are right. No one should be wandering these halls unattended. It’s not safe for those who aren’t careful, who don’t know what they’re doing.

It’s not safe, especially, for those with third eyes around servants and trained guards who feel twitchy at the sight of Garleans, who are triggered by the sound of their language or the way that they carry themselves. It’s not safe for loud-mouthed people who don’t know their place in this world anymore to try to carve out a new space for themselves and their kin.

It’s not safe for Caudia fae Benes to try to be gathering information about the martial status of the Jade Prince. It’s not safe for her to be trying to find out if I am a concubine, a wife, a mistress - but never have I heard that I might be a princess from the servants’ reports. That doesn’t cross Claudia fae Benes’ mind that I might be the next bitch in charge, lounging on a dais. It doesn’t cross her mind that I have much influence at all, that it was Jun who permits me the power that I have, or that I’m much more than a whore for the prince and a bodyguard for Princess Aoi.

It’s not safe for a woman who practically spits at one of the younger servant girls for accidentally spilling a bit of tea on her shoes - shoes that she doesn’t actually own, but belong to the palace - and demand that the quaking girl speak Garlean, because she knows it, doesn’t she?

And it’s especially not safe for a woman who wants to pimp her middle daughter, after ruining the first, and propose that my Jade Prince marry Julia Caelius so that her mother can try to regain some footing in a social hierarchy, to regain some wealth, and try to regain some influence.

The servants tell me that Claudia fae Caelius wants to be granted a private audience with the Jade Lord. They rushed to me as soon as they overheard it coming from the Garleans’ chambers, with the redheaded one arguing that it was an absolutely moronic idea, and didn’t Claudia know when to stop--...

I tell them to find Claudia fae Caelius and tell them that she’s been granted an audience - though not to specify with who, exactly - after ensuring that the Jade Lord would be busy for the day. I ensure that the only servants coming in or out are ones that I can trust, that Kai is in charge of the guards that attend to the throne room that I choose...

The water room.

---------

The servants keep the lights low in the room, but the reflections from the water bounce off of the walls. There’s no tables, like there usually are when we come in here. The room is empty. It feels strange for me to sit upon a dais, but there needs to be some order regained. Things need setting straight.

I know how angry I am, but... I also know that my song is still calm. Maybe it’s still taut and tight like leather rather than silk, but that’s alright. I’m still in control of myself and my emotions. This is something that I know I have the upperhand in it when it comes to the Caelius woman. This is something that Laelia and I had in common, I suppose - the ability to remain composed.

Fingers drum slowly against the hilt of the katana I have drawn, watching the doorway as light reflects off of the steel. I sit like a man might, dressed in the same black uniform that I’d once worn to sneak into Jun’s quarters. I appear as no more than a shadow, my hair pulled into a ponytail, the veil across my lips still except for when I exhale once I hear approaching footsteps.

“Don’t turn your back,” I hear a servant murmuring, and the reminder makes the corners of my lips twitch. One was never to turn their back on the Jade royals, but that isn’t why Claudia is receiving the same instructions I received on my first day. After all, she’s right. I’m no princess. Not really. This isn’t my throne room. This isn’t my palace.

But you don’t turn your back on a dog ready to attack, either.

My eyes are better adjusted to dark rooms than the average person’s, and so I see the Caelius woman very clearly as she walks slowly into the throne room. It’s odd, seeing her move with such care and reverence after watching her paw at vases and tapestries like she already owned them. The disrespect makes my mouth feel like it might fill with blood. When she looks at my prince, she sees status. She sees price tags. She sees power and opportunity.

“Your Majesty,” the woman begins in broken Doman, lowering herself to her knees. Maybe the trousers I wear have thrown her off, or the way that I’m sitting, and maybe it’s hard to see just how much smaller my silhouette is than the Jade Lord’s in the darkness. “I thank you--...”

“Is that who you were told you’d be meeting with today?” I cut her off, my voice low, well-aware of how well the Garlean language falls off my lips and tongue. “Rise, woman. There is no one for you to bow to here.”

I can see the way that she bristles, and it makes me want to laugh. There’s hesitation before she sits back up, and then stumbles to her feet, the unfamiliar clothes hindering her ability to move with grace.

“I beg your... pardon, but I was told that I had been granted an audience--...”

“An audience.” I cut her off again. “You have. No one specified with whom exactly the audience would be with, did they?”

I wait. I wait for her to answer and try to argue with me, eyebrows raised. But she doesn’t. She looks around the room, and I’m willing to bet she doesn’t think she looks nervous. She does, though. I can smell it on her. I can see it in the way she pivots her toes, in the direction her waist turns initially before she turns to look at me head-on through the dim room.

“Did the Jade Lord sign off on this, young woman?” she sniffs, taking a step closer to the dais, and I lift a hand. She freezes in place, like she was expecting guards to melt out of the walls, and then I watch her glare up at me as I smile down at her.

“No, but the Jade Prince did. He has power here, but you know that already, don’t you? The way you flinch - the way that you believe that I could easily have you handled by hands that aren’t my own - tells me that you know that I have whatever power I want in this place. So, pray tell, Lady Caelius...”

Slowly, I rise to my feet and make my way down the small set of stairs that take me off of the dais and onto the floor where she stands. To her credit - or her foolishness - the woman stays exactly where she is. She doesn’t budge this time. She doesn’t flinch, and I can’t tell if I admire it or find it annoying.

“Tell me why you’ve been feeling bold enough to walk around my prince’s palace, touching things as you please, talking to servants however you see fit, and acting as if you already own the place?”

My voice doesn’t raise. It’s so very soft, in a way that I’ve learned from Jun’s siren song. It doesn’t have the same magical properties. It never could, but... If nothing else, it’s taught me a little bit about how to croon in a way that is both peaceful and unsettling all at once. And, as I speak, I walk until I stop just mere ilms from Claudia fae Caelius’ face, my eyes drilling into hers through the darkness as shards of light bounce across our faces.

She sniffs. She stiffens. She has the audacity and lack of self preservation to narrow her eyes and lean her head back from me. She takes a step back, and I simply take a step forward, quietly reaching around to set my sword at her hamstrings - still sheathed - so that she knows she isn’t permitted to step away from me another fulm.

“The Jade Lord will be displeased to receive a report about your behavior,” Claudia whispers, her voice practically trembling with indignation, and I can’t help but to smile.

“He would. I’m sure he would, if anyone in this room other than you would be willing to vouch for that story. But as the story stands... You’re resting in your quarters. Do you think it would be difficult to get your companions to agree to tell that lie? And if they disagreed... Well. Have you heard all of the singing in the palace, my lady? It’s very beautiful, isn’t it? It can set one so very much at ease, and yet...”

Lightly, I tap the sword against the back of her legs.

“And yet, it makes your mind feel like it isn’t quite yours, right? The prince or the beautiful women that roam the halls could tell anyone anything and they would believe it. They have such a way about them. So... While my lady is correct in assuming that the Jade Lord wouldn’t approve of this, she is desperately incorrect about him receiving a report about it to begin with. You were a senator, weren’t you? And you still couldn’t politician your way into an actual meeting with him, and... for what? What were your intentions?”

I take a step back and move my sword from the back of her legs, and though she tries to hide it, I can see the way Claudia exhales - at least a little bit - in clear relief, as she lets go of a breath she wasn’t aware that she was holding.

“My intentions are not the concern of a bodyguard, Line Hwa. Let us cease this silly little meeting and allow us to both go back about our business.”

The corners of my lips twitch again at her tone and the butchering of my pseudonym. Slowly, I reach up and unclasp the mask hanging in front of my mouth so that she can see my face a bit more clearly.

“You have been rude to the servants in the palace. You demand they speak a language that incites fear because you haven’t bothered to learn ours, despite you being permitted into this palace out of an act of kindness. It’s gotten back to me - as a bodyguard, in charge of many of the servants that graciously agreed to help you and the rest of your party - that you’ve even gone far enough to call a girl hardly more than a child a savage. So...”

The words make her shrink. All at once, I see the pride that Claudia fae Caelius was trying to cling onto start to fade, because no one was supposed to know about that slip of the tongue. Even her own party would rip her apart for such foul language, and she knows it.

She is a proud, foolish woman, but I believe that she even knows that one wrong step would throw her into the wilds to fend for herself.

“I would suggest you change your tune, quickly. I hear everything that happens in this palace, but even I know far less of how a person truly is compared to those who truly own this palace. They know you to your core, Claudia fae Caelius. They can see the rot that lives in you with far more ease than I can. Your song - your inner song, you understand? - has no beauty. It grates on them. You grate on everyone around you, even your own children...”

Clicking my tongue, I clasp my hands behind my back, and I circle her like a vulture about to descend on its prey. I watch her stiffen. I watch her hold her wrist with one hand, and then repeat the motion as she wrings her hands before forcing herself to stop. I come to a halt behind her, my voice still low, still almost a croon, but I can’t stop the bite that seeps into my tone.

“No wonder your eldest decided that she would rather die, in a burning Castrum, than ever see your face again, Claudia.”

Claudia moves this time. Sure, it was a low blow. Of course it was. But it wasn’t really a lie, was it? It’s enough to make Claudia dare raise a hand to me as she swivels on a heel, her eyes burning like ceruleum, and I don’t even move to grab her wrist. I stay still. I wait, and I watch, eyebrows raised.

“Keep pushing your middle girl and she might experience a similar fate. One child has already proved they’ll do anything to get away from your control and your incessant nagging. At least your husband isn’t here, but he only beat Laelia, didn’t he? Cassia wasn’t important enough to hit, and Julia is the only one that actually belongs to him. I can see you balling your hand into fist, so I’m right, aren’t I? Laelia was just another bastard?”

“Shut your mouth,” Claudia hisses, and I grin.

“Or what? You’ll call me a savage? You’ll strike me? You don’t have any power here, Claudia. You can hit me, and then you’ll lose your hands. I’ll feed them to the creatures in the lagoon and force you to watch,” I murmur, and she bristles again. So much bristling, so little action.

“Tread lightly around the ponds. I think it bears reminding,” I continue, looking down and adjusting my gloves as she continues to glare, with her hand still raised in the air, before I glance back up at her face. “And do lower your arm. It would be a shame for everyone to see how you’ve stained those beautiful silks with your sweat from trembling like an angry little dog.”

“You’re a sick little girl,” Claudia snarls. “Who do you think you are? You are a lowly guard that could easily be replaced. Just because the prince likes to call you to his quarters doesn’t mean you have the right to speak to me like this. I doubt the prince would approve of you calling away servants and guards just for this! Who is looking after the princess?”

“I am well within my rights and the capacity of my authority. I promise you. And the safety of the princess is none of your concern. The biggest threat to her right now is that she might be wondering where her lunch is. Keep running your mouth and questioning me, and see how quickly I have your head covered in a bag and you left alone in the middle of the jungle, Caelius.”

Taking a step back, I step around the woman - who smells like sweat and anger and fear - and towards the exit of the throne room, my footsteps silent. But she isn’t silent. She isn’t still. She whips around, and she reaches for my arm, and I feel no remorse for the way I grab her wrist and throw her onto the floor. It’s simply a knee-jerk reaction, and I hear her gasp in absolute shock - and pain, because I’m sure that it didn’t tickle. I turn on my heel, staring down at her, as I pull my sword from its sheath.

“Apologize,” she demands in a shaky voice, glaring up at me. “Apologize for threatening me! And then you put hands on me? How dare you!”

Rolling my eyes, I crouch down, resting my arm on the pommel of my sword as I peer down at the woman’s face. Her makeup is creasing from sweat. I supposed the silks might be a bit stifling for her, that the weather in Doma might be a bit balmy compared to what she’s used to.

“You put hands on me first,” I remind her softly. “I would be well within my rights to hurt you far worse than that. No one would mourn you. You know that, don’t you? Your daughters might feel a passing sadness, and then it would be relief... And I think that will be your punishment.”

Clearing my throat, I smile before reaching out and grabbing Claudia’s face between my hands, despite the way that she tries to pull away - and the way that she fails to do so.

"No one would mourn your death,” I whisper to her. “Not your daughters. Not your husband. And it’s more than likely that any friends you have now are dead, in the same gutters that people like you forced the Populares into. Now... A few parting reminders...”

I tighten my leather-clad grip on Claudia’s face as she sputters and tries to speak, her eyes wild and furious.

“You may continue to try to sell your daughter like a pig at the market to the Jade Prince, but he won’t bite. He won’t be interested. Insult one more servant and you will be removed from the palace - or, at best, put into solitary confinement until it’s time for you to leave. And... stay in your fucking quarters. This palace is not and will never belong to you. It is ancient. It is sacred. And it screams each time you touch it with your filthy, war-mongering feet. I only see one savage in this room, and I assure you that it is not me.”

“How dare you--” Claudia sputters again once I let go of her face and straighten back up. “The Jade Lord will hear of this! Mark my words! You terrible girl! Come back here, we are not--- gaaaaaaaaaah!”

“Close the doors,” I tell the guards flanking either side of them, even as they glance nervously into the throne room. “Allow her out in five minutes.”

“Why is she screaming?” one of them asks, and I shrug as I walk past.

It definitely had nothing to do with yokai taking the shape of thirty snakes surrounding her and nipping at her skin. Certainly not.

Dumb bitch.

#LONG #cw death mention #ffxiv rp #ff14 rp #writing

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leecravesdeath · 4 years

Text

tattoos and tea in the early morning (boboxx)

on ao3 if preferred: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27062932/chapters/66075682

hi! this is the first thing i have written for any fandom since maybe 2016/17. i am 100% aware that this isn’t great but i had fun with it so i guess that’s good enough for me :) hope you enjoy!

summary: Scarlett is out for the night with their friends when they meet Juice in a bar. When a drunk Priyanka proposes they all get tattoos, Scarlett invites her to come along too.

just to clear it up: Juice is Julia and Lila is Lemon

Scarlett wasn’t sure they believed in love. Sure, they knew it existed, but they had never really experienced it for themself. And right now, if they were being honest, they thought they would probably never feel it. Love wasn’t particularly prevalent in Scarlett’s life; the countless amount of one night stands they’d had was enough proof of that. Of course, it could be argued that, yes, Scarlett had experienced love but having a girl naked in your bed just isn't the same as spending time with friends and family. That was unflawed logic that none of them could really argue with.

Everything they thought they knew about love went out of the window in favour of the girl with the funky nickname. Blonde hair that fell just past her shoulders paired with crystal blue eyes and a small smile as she stirred the straw in her drink at the opposite end of the bar. Something about her was just enthralling and Scarlett felt the urge to introduce themself. Julia was new and different, and it was good. The good sort of different that Scarlett knew that they would definitely miss if it left as quick as it came.

“Hey,” Scarlett said as they took a seat next to her.

“No cheesy pick-up line?” she asked as they shook their head, “ that’s a shame. I’m a sucker for a bit of stupid.”

Scarlett thought for a moment before responding, “ how’s this one: your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?”

“oh my gosh! That was awful,” she laughed, “how many times have you used that one?”

“Never, you’re the first,” they winked as she laughed again. Scarlett would never grow tired of hearing that laugh, even if they only had tonight to listen to it.

Scarlett doesn’t know how it happened, but not even thirty minutes after meeting, they had the smaller girl against the bathroom wall of the sweaty club. The two were so focused on one another that they barely registered the door opening and a ditzy yellow-haired girl walking in talking faster than Julia had ever heard anybody speak, “ Pri said we’re going to get tattoos, you in?”

Scarlett looked at the yellow girl in confusion for a moment, their mind still wrapped up in the embarrassed blonde who stood across from them. “Uh yeah sure, you want to come?” they asked, hoping she would agree. Joy and relief washed over them as Julia said yes. In retrospect, Julia was infinitely glad that she had decided to say yes that night, even if she was left with a weird tattoo.

After a dramatic number of tears (all from Lila of course), the 5 of them had a reminder of the night permanently etched on their skin. Some of them played it safe, getting something small and cute, but the same couldn’t be said for Kiara and Priyanka who both now had a Quebecois curse word and the current day’s date respectively. Lila got a small lemon in honour of her nickname; Julia got a flamingo drinking a juice box and Scarlett got a tiny clown face due to her love of the circus. Was getting a tattoo in the middle of the night really the best idea? No, of course not.

As everyone began to disperse and go home, Scarlett worked up the courage to ask her to go home with them. Julia agreed, her voice sounding as sweet as honey and Scarlett knew they would never get sick of hearing it.

“Before we go in, how do you feel about dogs?” Scarlet asked as they reached to unlock their apartment.

“I love dogs. I have one at home with my roommate!”she exclaimed in excitement. The prospect that Scarlett had a dog was amazing as she was definitely getting more of a cat-lady vibe from them.

“Perfect!” Scarlett all but shouted as they let them both into the apartment, their dog sleeping soundly in the corner.

They wandered into the kitchen area, telling Julia to make herself at home as they went to boil some water in the kettle to make them some tea. Scarlett wasn’t much of a tea drinker; preferring something with a caffeine boost like coffee but it was far too late for that so chamomile would have to suffice.

When they re-entered the room, they found Julia browsing over the shelves against the wall that were filled with books, movies and photo frames. Scarlett was usually pretty private about her life, preferring to spend nights away from home rather than bring people back to their apartment. When people did visit, they hid the sentimental items, not wanting their friends to see the vulnerability that they housed. But something about Julia was like a breath of fresh air and Scarlett felt like they were open and exposed, the air mingling inside of them. But for once, they didn’t hate the feeling.

“That’s my mom and sister at my graduation,” Scarlett told her unprompted as they saw which picture she was looking at.

“You look really different without the green in your hair. I almost didn’t recognise you,” Julia joked with a soft look in her eye, “you’re really pretty,” she concluded with a large smile, moving on to look at another picture.

“Thanks? You are too,” They complemented, causing a small blush to work its way across her face.

“Is that Lemon and Priyanka?” she asked through a giggle as she looked at the picture of the three girls dressed in halloween costumes, Lila looking significantly smaller than the other two as the picture captured her mid-fall.

The two of them spoke for hours, conversation varying from what they did for work, hobbies they had all the way to future plans. The chamomile tea that was made earlier in the night now sat forgotten on the coffee table as they slept uncomfortably on the sofa, a soft blanket draped over them both. Scarlett was pleasantly surprised to see Julia still in their home when they woke up only hours later. The smaller girl shifted a little bit before waking up. The sudden movements and quiet noises of discomfort were enough to alert Scarlett’s dog to come rushing over to the sofa where they resided.

“Morning,” Scarlett greeted Julia as they gave the dog the attention he so desperately wanted.

“Good morning,” she responded in an almost questioning tone through a yawn. Julia wasn’t much of a morning person, she much preferred to stay awake until the early hours of the morning and then wake around midday if she didn’t have work.

She left at around 1 pm, promising to send pictures of her dog. After countless hookups, they chose not to believe people when they say they’ll text later. So Scarlett sat in waters of uncertainty as they waited for a potential message, trying every method possible to distract themself. When the clock hit half past four, a message finally came through from Julia. Attached was around five pictures and an apology for it taking so long. It was safe to say that it was totally worth the wait, each picture being more adorable than the last. But Scarlett would be lying if they said their favourite wasn’t the one with Julia in it too. As they typed a response to Julia, a different notification appeared.

Priyanka: y’all remember that tiny girl too right?? the one who left with bobo?

Lemon: yeah i walked in on them in the bathroom together...

Priyanka: ew

#juice boxx #scarlett bobo #boboxx #sorry this isn't great #but like more people should write these two. i could make a powerpoint with valid reasons as to why #this might be the only thing i ever write bcs my brain overthinks everything :)#im british so if some things don't sound right then imma blame that AND my lack of experience ;)#a tag for writing :)

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four-loose-screws · 4 years

Text

FE4 Suzuki Novelization Translation (Gen II) - Chapter 15 (The Grand Finale!)

If you would like to start from the beginning, read a missed part, etc., click here!

FE Game Script Translations - FE Novel Translations - Original FE Support Conversations

If you are interested in donating to support my work, please check out my Ko-fi here. Thank you!

———————————

Chapter 15 - Wind God Forseti

The entire text is under the cut for spoilers.

The war was over.

However, the storms of conflict had ravaged Jugdral twice in just twenty years, leaving huge scars across the continent. Reconstruction would probably take many times the amount of power needed to win the war.

Those who fought alongside Seliph, as well as those who now needed to bear the burden of reconstruction, said their goodbyes, and parted ways.

Shannan, who was next in line to become king, returned home.

By his side was the future queen, Patty. As the Sword Saint, Shannan was nearly always scowling, but that front cracked whenever he was talking to her. Even before the final battle, he was shy when he accepted the lunch she packed for him. The two will undoubtedly become a good husband and wife to each other.

Leif inherited the title of King of Leonster, but at the same time, many wished he would also take on the role of unifying the Thracian peninsula.

Those who went with him to Leonster were Finn, the knight who'd vowed to protect him ever since he was orphaned until the very end, and Nanna.

Nanna was in love with him, but because she was from Augustria, she'd told herself that she must part with her beloved when the war was over. However, when the time finally came, Leif took her hands in his, and passionately shared his desires for her to come with him. They too decided to marry one day.

Though Altena was of the Leonsterian Royal Family's bloodline, she returned to southern Thracia, where her memories of her beloved remained. There, it was decided that she would work with Leif to unite the peninsula.

Ares, together with the dancer Lene and his cousin Diarmuid, decided to go to Augustria, where the battle between the imperial army and the local liberation army still raged on. Ending that war and unifying Augustria was the next duty bestowed upon him.

After he married Lene, he mellowed out. So long as they have the aid of the calm and collected Diarmuid, they will likely be able to carry out even the most difficult of their duties.

After the kingdom fell in Verdane, it had been taken over by bandits. The bow knight Lester traveled to those remote lands to establish a new government. By his side was the falcoknight Fee.

The six dutchies of Grannvale were inherited by their next in line.

The tactician and paladin Oifey succeeded Chalphy,

The wielder of Holy Bow Yewfelle, Febail, succeded Jungby,

The axe knight Iuchar succeeded Dozel,

The mage knight Arthur succeeded Velthomer,

High Priest Coirpre succeeded Edda,

And the thunder mage Tinny succeeded Friege.

(Iuchar's beloved, Larcei, went with him as his perfect match; and it went without saying that Coirpre was accompanied by his adoptive father, Hannibal.)

And, of course, Belhalla was succeeded by Seliph, and he was crowned King of Grannvale at the same time. Lana, who'd fought alongside him from the very beginning, became his queen.

The inheritors of the duchies, and even the inheritors of the surrounding countries, all walked up to the new king, raised their swords, and swore their loyalty to him before leaving Belhalla. From that day forward, the Jugdralian continent would change from a land of power and fear, to one connected by a new bond of trust.

The last person they said goodbye to was wind mage Ced.

"Seliph, I will return home to Silesse with Father. Thank you for everything."

"Yeah, you helped us out a lot! We'll never forget you!” Then, he turned to Lewyn. “And Lewyn, I don't know how I could ever thank you…"

"There's no need to, Seliph. Everything we accomplished was because of all your hard work."

"Now, Father, let’s…"

"No, Ced. I will not go to Silesse. You are the only one who can rule Silesse."

His father's unexpected words pushed Ced to put pressure on him to change his mind. "But why, Father!? The war is over. Please return home with me."

"No, I have played my part. Just like the other countries, Silesse must also be reborn. For that to happen, she needs a power of youth like yours."

"I don't understand. Silesse needs you, Father! Please, please, come back home."

"You've said more than enough. I don't want you to speak another word. Fee realized everything from the very beginning. You should have already as well. Isn't that right, Ced?"

"Father!"

"I won't say anything more. Now go! Silesse is counting on you!"

Ced bit his lip and stared at his father for a long while.

But when he realized that Lewyn's resolve was firm, he turned towards Seliph and bowed his head. "Then this means goodbye, Lord Seliph. Good luck. You too, Lady Lana… and you as well, Father…" With that said, Ced bowed his head deeply, then left.

"Seliph, Lana, though it pains me to leave, I am going to go on a journey."

"Where will you be going?" Lana asked.

"A bard has no set destination. I will travel wherever the wind may take me."

"Lewyn, thank you so much. You watched over me and guided me when I knew nothing. I am so grateful to you from the very bottom of my heart."

"I was merely fulfilling my duty. Silesse's royal family is one of wind mages. Wherever I am, I am there simply because the wind took me there. And you humbly took that wind in."

"I know that, Lewyn. And I also know that your true identity… is not really Lewyn."

"..."

"The Lewyn my father fought with really did die during the Battle of Belhalla. Some of the female soldiers survived, but all of the men died during that battle. So I wondered, then, why you are the only one they failed to find.

"You are actually one of the dragon tribes, most likely the god who made the pact with Crusader Ced at Darna Castle, and granted him the powers of wind magic. You knew that the path leading to Loptous' revival was opened at the Battle of Belhalla, and took Lewyn's form to try to stop it."

Lewyn did not deny Seliph's words, nor did he affirm them.

"I've heard that the dragon tribes fear participating in the human world. But you went so far as to break that rule to guide us. So long as this land exists, we will never forget all you've done for us. Lewyn… no… Forseti of the wind, and warrior of a distant land."

Lewyn raised an eyebrow and smirked. Then, he bowed in a manner fitting of a bard, and tried to leave the room.

"Wait, Lewyn!"

When Lewyn turned around, it was only just a little bit, but he looked uncomfortable.

"I want you to tell me one thing, Lewyn. Did you know that Arvis had given Julia the circlet? And were you trying to tell us that Manfroy hadn't killed Julia?"

The bard paused for a minute, then said, "No, there was no way that I could have known. I knew what the darkness' goal was, but none of the intricate details. All I knew was that even they had a weakness."

"And that weakness was?"

"That they do not sympathize with the human heart. And that you would have become proud of your own power."

"..."

"That if we did our best, then one day, that weakness would be revealed. I only believed in that. You did not win with power. You won because you are considerate and humble. That is why everyone stayed with you until the very end, despite how harsh the battles were. That will also be important for your future rule. You two should remember that."

The bard said, then waved his right hand to say goodbye. His gesture also conjured up a light breeze.

“One more thing, Lewyn! The bard in Peruluke, was he a dragon? Or…"

But the bard had already begun to fade away, little by little. He disappeared without giving an answer.

The Thracian Peninsula was unified.

The region, made up of many small countries and plagued by perpetual war, finally welcomed peace with the restoration of the Leonsterian Royal Family’s power and the death of the Kingdom of Thracia.

The first king of this new country was Leif, chosen by the people and their passionate hopes for him.

Leif entrusted Altena with the reconstruction of the territory that previously belonged to the Kingdom of Thracia.

Altena never left Thracia ever again. For the rest of her days, she protected the land she was raised in, as well as her memories of Arion, with a love so strong it would last her entire life.

The Kingdom of Isaach had been the first nation to be freed from the empire's oppression, but the inheritor to the throne was not there at the time, so the peoples' days were filled with uncertainty.

Because of that, they welcomed Shannan's return home. Once he was crowned, he worked tirelessly to rebuild his country, and proceeded to implement trade with the other nations. Isaach was previously called the barbarian land of the east, but the latter half of his rule achieved unprecedented development, and Isaach transformed into a rich land that rivaled the other countries.

After the civil war ended in Augustria and the country was annexed by Grannvale, it had been put under a strict, tyrannical rule.

Because of that, all of the people had wished for their own liberation army and the establishment of a new, unified country, and those wishes were directed towards the hero Eldigan and the Nordion Royal Family. They were wildly excited to welcome Ares home, because he reminded them of Eldigan in his youth.

Under Ares' rule, Augustria's reconstruction progressed quickly. After that was done, the country continued to develop as Grannvale's greatest ally.

Because Verdane was a remote country, the empire did not meddle into their affairs very much. However, after the death of their king, each tribe had gotten into disputes time and time again, public order was in distress, and thieves went around looting as if they owned the place.

Amidst all of that, Lester's homecoming, as one of the hero Prince Jamke's bloodline, gave the people courage, and many young people gathered around him. The war to unify Verdane ended in less than a year, and Lester was crowned king. He earned the cooperation of both Grannvale and Augustria, restored the lands, and returned Verdane to the country his grandfather Batu had created.

Verdane, the forested land of the lake… Where Sigurd’s prayers are granted in the beautiful greenery, and the clear water is made up of Deirdre's tears. Or so the people believe…

Silesse, which had long been under the empire's control, crowned Ced once he returned home, and poured its energy into restoring the country's utterly destroyed lands.

The people loved their beautiful land and peace that had returned to it. The kingdom that Lewyn had given his life trying to protect was finally trying to finish his work.

And so, Seliph, as the new king of Grannvale, poured his energy into restoring the country, bringing peace to the continent, and creating a rich world without discrimination or oppression.

Through it all, he was always accompanied by his queen, Lana, who was always snuggled up next to him and smiling; and Princess Julia, who always watched over him with a kind, warm gaze.

Many years afterwards, the people would say.

"Within Jugdral's history, there was a holy king.

His name was Seliph."

Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War - End

#fire emblem #fe #fe4 #genealogy of the holy war #seliph #nintendo #super nintendo #snes #famicom #super famicom #japan #japanese #translation #novel #light novel #fe4 suzuki novelization translation

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ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes · 5 years

Text

Dawn in Your Eyes Part 6

zaSummary: Alfie has little to no idea why Caroline ever gave him the time of day. The blind woman seemed far too sensible to even speak to him. But soon he finds himself falling helplessly in love.

Part 6: The sound of joy and gladness, the sound of a groom and the sound of a bride

Waiting the week before one’s wedding was next to torture. Waiting that week without your significant other was even worse.

“Honestly, mate, who the fuck would care if I went to see her?” Alfie lamented to his assistant.

“Julia, probably,” Ollie answered.

His employer gave him a look. “It were a rhetorical fucking question, you git.” He snapped, his eyes narrowing in irritation. “’Course I know she’ll give a fuck.”

“It’s tradition. Sort of like a buildup to what’s to come. I think it’s nice.” Ollie shrugged.

Alfie scoffed in response. “Ain’t nice. Life’s a drag without Caroline.” He muttered and stood up. “Tradition, tradition, tradition. I’ll follow these fucking traditions.” He jabbed a finger at his assistant. “But I’m only doing it for her sake, not to please Julia.”

Ollie couldn’t help but smile. It was endearing to see Alfie so foolishly in love with his bride-to-be. Even in his frustration, Alfie couldn’t go two minutes without showing how devoted he was to Caroline. “You’ve gone a good portion of your life without her.” He pointed out a bit cheekily.

Alfie’s face contorted first into anger but then into a bewildered smile. Indeed, he’d lived the majority of his life without even knowing Caroline existed. And in that time, he’d managed just fine. Never once complaining about being without a woman. But once he met her, his life had changed so drastically. He couldn’t imagine a week without her. He sighed and shook his head. “You’re right.”

It was a bit reassuring, at least his boss wouldn’t kick off more. Ollie sat down across from him. “Don’t you think that this week sort of confirms everything? If it wasn’t a good match, then you wouldn’t want the week to pass by quickly. You’d be indifferent.”

Alfie stroked a hand over his beard thoughtfully and nodded after a moment. “I know I’m making the right choice.” There was no way he would ever question his decision.

“That’s what’s good about this week.”

Ollie’s boss sighed and tousled the young man’s hair. “Go on, get outta here. Go home early.”

He frowned. He couldn't remember the last time Alfie had sent him home early. “Sir?”

“I’ll close up tonight, go on home.”

Ollie smiled gratefully. His wife would be so pleased to have him home to help with dinner and the kids. “Thank you, sir.” He reached back to untie his apron and headed out of the office.

Alfie leaned back in his desk chair and thought about his upcoming nuptials. It was thrilling. Knowing he’d be with Caroline the rest of their lives. Even if forever was a tiny bit frightening, he wouldn’t change it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alfie was sweating. At least, he felt like he was. Maybe he wasn’t, it was hard to tell. The room was chilly so why would he be sweating? Maybe because he fully expected his bride-to-be not to show up. Maybe she’d skipped town to avoid him. Maybe she decided to elope with another man. Maybe she realized she deserved much better. All erroneous ideas that Alfie’s frantic mind conjured up. He liked to be assured with himself, it’s how he found most of his fortune. But Caroline was such a beautiful creature that seemed too good to be true.

When Alfie woke up, realizing it was his wedding day, he assumed the worst all at once. Maybe he’d been too cynical for too long.

Family members were waiting in the room along with Alfie, preparing for the Badeken. Ollie was nearby, trying to calm Alfie down as he paced. Finally, the wait was broken and the door opened. First, Elizabeth came in with a great big smile. Buck led her over to Richard and the two exchanged quiet words.

But Alfie wasn’t paying attention to them. He felt like he’d been struck by lightning when he saw Julia leading Caroline in. Pilot walked beside her, on her left as always.

The Jewish gangster’s knees went weak at the sight of her in a modest white gown, A long veil trailing after her. Alfie had to bite his tongue to stop himself from swearing out of surprise. No doubt Julia wanted to keep the moment pure.

Caroline’s ash-brown hair was curled and pinned up underneath the veil and there was a glow about her that Alfie swore had to be holy. “You aren’t saying anything.” She murmured softly. “Do I look alright?” A hand subconsciously went to the satin skirt of her dress.

“Oh love, I ain’t never seen such a gorgeous sight.” He murmured back, his voice catching. The emotions were so overwhelming he nearly forgot they were in a room full of people.

Caroline found his hand. “You’re trembling.” She bit her lip.

“I’m happy…I just never thought I’d be this lucky.” He replied and lifted her hand to kiss her knuckles.

Julia cleared her throat, bringing the couple back to reality and back to tradition.

“Right, sorry,” Alfie mumbled and let go of Caroline’s hand. He carefully lifted the veil and let it hang over her face. A great disservice as far as he was concerned but he knew it would be lifted soon enough. He lowered his head so he could whisper in her ear. “Wanna go get married now, love?”

She giggled softly. “Of course.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a while since Alfie attended a wedding. In fact, Elizabeth and Richard’s may have been the last one. He couldn’t recall. Anyway, he had to brush up on some of the traditions. They weren’t all that complicated although he wanted to make sure things went right in Julia’s eyes. She wanted traditional.

Elizabeth got some say in the wedding too. She insisted it be held on her and Richard’s property out in Surrey. A beautiful plot of land with sprawling lawns and a nice big estate to match. Julia thought it was a little too pompous but decided not to argue. Caroline seemed pleased with the idea of the ceremony being held outside. Even though it was getting well into fall, it was still sunny and warm enough to hold it outside.

Alfie would’ve made everyone sit out in the snow if it meant Caroline was happy. But instead, they were given a beautiful crisp fall day. Perhaps another indicator from God that the match was meant to be.

Alfie felt much more at ease once they were both under the chuppah. The nerves he had the entire week previously were subdued and he felt like he could actually breathe again. Caroline made it to the canopy with her aunt’s help along with Pilot. Once she was beside Alfie, Julia kissed her cheek and took the Newfoundland off to the side.

As per tradition, Caroline began circling Alfie seven times. One hand held up the hem of her dress, the other touched Alfie to make sure she wasn’t walking off course. With each pass, she whispered a soft message of affection to her husband-to-be. He smiled and felt his heart swell with love and pride.

Once the rite was finished. Alfie produced the ring from his pocket. It was a simple band, seeing as it was against Jewish law to have anything gaudy or showy under the chuppah. Nothing like the diamond he had waiting for her inside Elizabeth’s estate. Carefully locked away in the room they would spend time alone in.

After the betrothal blessings, Alfie and Caroline listened to friends and family recite the Sheva Brachot. Not that Alfie wasn’t glad to listen to the beautiful blessings. He was just never a patient man and was itching to spend some time with his wife.

Finally, Alfie had the pleasure of breaking a glass and the lawn erupted with happy bouts of congratulations. The couple would have to refrain from displays of affection until later. Alfie was sure he’d get an earful if he kissed his bride under the chuppah.

“Mazel Tov, Alfie!”

“Mazel Tov, Caroline!” The guests exclaimed as the two made their way from under the canopy. Alfie couldn’t get the big grin off his face as he held his wife’s hand. His wife. His perfect, gorgeous, Jewish, wife. The epitome of the woman his mother wanted him to end up with. He would be eternally happy now that he had the love of his life always by his side.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once they were freed from friends and family giving hugs and kisses, Alfie and Caroline escaped to one of the rooms upstairs in the estate. Once the door was closed, he scooped her up bridal style and kissed her. She was breathless, giggling euphorically against his lips.

“Fucking hell, I thought I’d never get me hands on you.” He growled playfully. “Spend a whole fucking week waiting. Thought I were gonna have a heart attack.”

Caroline laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck as he sat down on the edge of the bed with her resting on his lap. “Patience is a very good quality to have, Mr. Solomons.”

“I ain’t ever been patient, Mrs. Solomons.” He replied and pulled her in for another deep kiss. He lost himself in her touch for a moment, completely high off the feeling. It had to be real because he’d never had such a wonderful dream before. Whent they parted, Alfie touched his forehead to hers. “Let’s just skip this reception, yeah? Commandeer a car and head back home.”

Caroline smiled and shook her head firmly. “We have family and friends who came all this way.” She reminded him. "It would be extremely rude to leave them."

“Well, they’ve seen the show, haven’t they? We did the ceremony, all the bells 'n whistles, right? They won’t miss us down there.” He drew her in for another kiss.

She laughed and playfully pushed his face away, knowing he was trying to convince her to leave. “I’m fairly sure they’ll notice the bride and groom missing. It is our wedding after all, silly man.”

He made a sound of displeasure and buried his face in the crook of her neck.

“We’ll have all the time in the world together. You can’t put on a smile for one night?” She murmured.

He grunted but caved in, lifting his head. “If it’ll make you happy.”

Her gray eyes were shining with adoration. “It will.”

“Alright, then. I’ll put on a smile.”

She lifted her hands to touch his cheeks. Her fingers brushed over the creases in his skin as he smiled, the scruffiness of his beard, and the lingering scar across his right cheek. “You’re so beautiful.” She murmured.

Overwhelmed with love, Alfie couldn’t get any words out. He simply lifted her hand and kissed her palm. He thought it was perfect how he was able to cradle his entire world in his arms. Because that’s what Caroline was from there on out. His entire world.

taglist: @zazasblogxx @thinkingsofamadwoman

Masterlist

#alfie solomons #alfie solomonsxoc #alfie solomons x oc #alfie solomons imagine #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders #peaky fookin blinders #peaky blinders fanfiction #fluff #blind character #oc #ofc #wedding #fanfiction #series #Imagine #tom hardy #tom hardy character

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xmxisxforxmaybe · 5 years

Text

Decryption_Error: “Undecided”

Summary: Now that the incident in the server room is becoming a distant memory for everyone at CIStech, indecision plagues Y/N as she tries to figure out just what she wants from Elliot. The real question, of course, is what does Elliot want?

Story Summary, “The Server Room, Part I”, “The Server Room, Part II” “The Long Weekend, Part I”, “The Long Weekend, Part II”, “The Aftermath”

Word Count: 5000

Tags: @sherlollydramoine @rami-malek-trash @teamwolf2411 @limabein @txmel @hopplessdreamer @ouatlovr @backoftheroomandnotbelonging @alottanothing @moon-stars-soul @free-rami @ramimedley

If you want added, let me know.

Warning: Tiny mention of something R-rated toward the end

By Thursday, the office felt normal, and I was once again left to marvel at how quickly things could snap back into place. People just . . . moved on. They continued to run their daily programs and despite a hiccup in the system, they hit reboot and it was back to normal runtime.

I was no different.

Yesterday was spent looking through the applicant pool, and I had found a few good candidates. I wanted to compile a final list by the end of the day and set interviews for next week. In another two or three weeks, it would be like Julia, Aaron, and Maurice had never even existed in the world of CIStech.

DELETE 10211291.11181514.1312118935.DSET1 PURGE

<Execution_Complete>

Elliot was just as intrigued by people’s willingness to forget a traumatic event. While Tuesday night’s text conversation lasted a long time, the subject matter stayed pretty light. But on Wednesday, we ended up texting a lot about people’s reactions to what went down.

I hadn’t been sure if Tuesday night’s texts were an anomaly until my phone buzzed at exactly 7:00 pm, the same time I had texted Elliot the night before. I actually laughed out loud a little, figuring Elliot was playing it safe by repeating a previously rewarding behavior pattern.

On Wednesday, I had again left work much earlier than usual so I could head uptown to meet my father. He had asked me weeks ago to attend a benefit with him, and I had almost forgotten about it until he called to remind me in the morning. I used my lunch hour to run home and grab a dress and a pair of shoes. I was really looking forward to seeing Dad because I wanted to decompress—if there was anyone in the world I could vent my feelings to, it was him.

When he caught me smiling at my phone and trying to sneak a text without appearing rude, he told me to have Edwin, his driver, take me home and come back for him later.

“I love you, Dad,” I said as he hugged me tight.

“I want to meet the young man who makes you smile like that, sweetheart.”

I rolled my eyes but smiled at my dad’s good intention.

“If only it were that simple,” I said as the elevator doors opened.

He put his hands in his pockets and gave me a long look as the doors closed. I knew he worried I worked too much and abandoning my entire family over Memorial Day weekend did not alleviate his concern one bit. Nor did it help when I finally explained the work emergency that pulled me away.

But for the second night in a row, I found myself texting until my eyes blurred. When Elliot and I said good night, I set my alarm and immediately fell asleep, something that rarely ever happened. I felt like I could breathe freely again. Elliot didn’t seem to be harboring any ill feelings about being reprimanded, so when he and I ended up running into each other in the lobby on Thursday morning, I smiled brightly when I saw him.

We said our bland good mornings as we got on the elevator, then I asked if he had any plans for after work. When he said no, I pulled out my phone and texted him to ask if he wanted to come over.

He glanced at the other people in the elevator who were staring sleepily at the buttons of the passing floors and gave me a tiny smile before nodding yes.

I smiled back and as the elevator doors opened on our floor, he stood back to let me exit before he hurried out and grabbed the door to the office. I thanked him and we went our separate ways for the workday.

Around quitting time, there was a light tap on my door frame, and I looked up to see Elliot, his eyes alert, scanning over the room and not quite willing to focus on me yet.

“Hey—come in,” I said, unable to stop the smile that spread across my face at the sight of him.

He shuffled in, his hands thrust in his pockets.

“I need to run an errand. Will you be here . . . or should I . . .” Elliot trailed off as his eyes desperately searched mine, his own mind clearly wondering if he had imagined our conversation in the elevator.

“I’m planning on working until around 7. Do you just want to meet at that deli on Platt around 7:15? We can get a bite to eat there, then head back to my place?”

“Sure,” Elliot said in his trademark monotone, immediately turning on his heel and exiting my office.

I just shook my head and chuckled, thinking, Sure, Dad. Meet my painfully awkward boyfriend, Elliot.

Boyfriend.

My mouth went dry as indecision began to beat its ugly staccato within my mind.

What did I really want?

Even more difficult to answer, what did Elliot really want?

A kiss in a heated moment was a lot less demanding of someone than asking them to be with you. And it was Elliot—did he even date? Despite all of our after-work conversations, we never really talked about romantic interests. It just wasn’t something that came up.

I continued to plug away at my analytics, hoping to drown out my thoughts about Elliot. I was about to see him outside of work again, and I would just have to test the waters, which was a scary prospect. If I pushed and Elliot wasn’t ready, I could knock over the foundation we had been so carefully building.

* * * * *

Elliot was waiting for me at the deli, so we grabbed a quiet, quick bite. By the time we reached my apartment and Elliot was standing in my entryway, shucking off his backpack, it was about 8:15 pm.

After he slid off his backpack, he bent to rummage around, and he pulled out my Columbia t-shirt.

I shook my head no.

“Keep it. I like knowing you have something of mine and that maybe, just maybe, you’re wearing it,” I said with a flirty grin.

“Okay,” Elliot said with a shrug as he stuffed the shirt back into his bag.

“Besides. You look good in white,” I said, knowing I couldn’t be deterred by one ignored comment. Elliot was wicked smart and could read people, but that ability seemed to diminish as he got closer to someone. I wondered if maybe that was why he kept his distance from most people—it made him feel too vulnerable.

Elliot looked at me, clearly determining whether or not I was joking.

“And you say I can’t take a compliment,” I huffed.

“You can’t,” Elliot said, seizing the shift in the conversation that would allow him to have the upper hand. “Your legs look good in that skirt,” he said as his eyes looked at me from top to bottom.

I narrowed my own eyes and replied, “Now see. I don’t know if you mean that or if you said it just to get me to say I don’t think it’s genuine, thus proving your point.”

Elliot chuckled. “Point proven. You can’t take a compliment.”

“Such an ass,” I said, smiling. “I should take back my meticulously planned evening.”

“Planned? So, this wasn’t just a random invitation?”

“God no. I have to mentally prepare for all my interactions with you,” I blurted out before realizing how terrible that sounded.

Sometimes it really was a blessing Elliot thought so much before he spoke so I could retract my foot-in-mouth statement, but unfortunately, his face was an open book. I could see the beginnings of hurt twist his features, so I rushed an explanation.

“I don’t mean it in a bad way. Just in an ‘I think about you a lot’ way. I don’t want to say the wrong thing and have you look at me kinda like you’re looking at me now. Okay?”

Elliot’s brows contracted before he visibly turned his face back into an unreadable mask. It was remarkable to watch—like he just flipped a switch and turned off his emotion.

He nodded, but I could tell he already assigned a negative meaning to my words. I hadn’t meant it that way, but it was exhausting interacting with him at times. I still felt like I was taking one step forward, creeping along nicely, and then boom. I scared him and he bolted and we were ten steps behind where we started.

At least my indecision about pursuing a relationship with him was pretty damn warranted.

“I’m going to change,” I said. “It’s hot as fuck outside, so you may want to put on my t-shirt if you’re not wearing one under your dress shirt.”

“We’re going outside?”

“Yup!” I said, shooting him a grin.

Elliot looked at me with suspicion, but I shook my head and took off down the hall toward my bedroom. I dressed in a pair of shorts and a tank top, and I slid into some flip-flops. I pulled my hair up, knowing it wouldn’t survive any more time than it already had outdoors.

I walked back out to the living room, but Elliot was nowhere to be seen. I had just enough time to wonder if I really had scared him off before he emerged from the bathroom wearing tight black jeans and my white Columbia t-shirt.

“After last Friday, I decided to keep a change of clothes in my backpack.”

“Smart,” I said, eyeing the way his jeans clung to his thighs before sliding my eyes up to his face to appreciate how the tan tone of his skin was emphasized next to the white cotton of my t-shirt.

“Can I have another clue? I don’t really like surprises.”

“Mmmmm, no,” I said, enjoying my facetiousness. “Although, I did give you a clue earlier this week.”

Elliot’s eyes moved around my apartment as he thought back, and then, his face lit up.

“S’mores,” he said with a tiny timbre of excitement in his tone as his eyes connected with mine.

“Clever kitten,” I said as I started pulling out the supplies we had bought over the weekend.

“They won’t be as good as they’d be over a real bonfire, but a charcoal grill will serve the purpose.”

We headed up to the rooftop, which was delightfully empty given there was no special occasion and the work week was still droning on. I used my key to get out the charcoal grill’s supplies from the storage on the roof.

Despite telling Elliot to sit on the couch and relax, he hovered, watching everything I did.

“And now we wait,” I said as I prodded the coals with my tongs, encouraging them to catch. “The more they burn down, the better the taste.”

I plopped on the white couch and looked toward the setting sun. Elliot joined me and we slowly built up to a steady conversation. Away from people and when he was comfortable, Elliot talked a lot. It was almost comical to think of the juxtaposition housed within his lithe little body—it was like two people lived inside of him, one of them plagued by insecurities, and the other, just a normal guy, or rather, a guy who could just about pass for normal if it weren’t for his intellect.

Elliot wasn’t just knowledgeable about computers. He kept up with the news. He had keen insights about society. And he even liked to read the classics, or really just about any book he got his hands on.

But work was the easiest and safest topic for both of us since that was the baseline for our friendship. I finally asked Elliot how he was doing as the dust began to settle, eager to hear his thoughts in person instead of from behind the safety of a screen.

“It’s weird,” Elliot began before he broke eye contact to gather his thoughts. “People are nicer to me, or at least they seem to be going out of their way to talk to me.”

“Colin is treating you alright?” I asked, curious if he was going to be an asshole about the whole thing.

“It was him, wasn’t it? He insisted on the letter,” Elliot finished with a statement, not a question.

I was quiet for a moment, warring with myself about whether I should say anything or not. It was an HR issue, and those could be tricky, but who would Elliot tell? What damage could come from talking to the one guy who was never going to tell anyone anything?

“I know you would never say anything, but I have to say this to make myself feel better—you can’t repeat anything I say about the . . . incident.”

Elliot raised his eyebrows at me and nodded.

“Yes, it was Colin. He’s kind of a “bro,” I explained, my hands rising to make quote marks in the air. “And since you’re totally not that kind of guy, he has no even ground with you—you’re smarter than him and he can’t deal with that.”

“What makes you describe him as a “bro?” Elliot said, imitating my earlier air-quotes.

“Mmm . . . he loves every sport, plays basketball with some of the guys in the company on Saturdays. He has that arrogance about him, that unwarranted arrogance that a guy who enjoys showing off just how much of a guy he is has. He used to run every day before work and he’d come upstairs all sweaty—and I mean sweaty as in looking like he’d just gone swimming sweaty—and he’d just go “freshen up” in his office. It grossed me out so much I flat-out offered to comp him if he took time to shower at the gym and was late for work. After that, he didn’t come to work sweaty anymore. Don’t get me wrong—woo! Fitness! But gross,” I said, wrinkling my nose just remembering what he looked like and smelled like.

“Every sport?”

“As far as I know—I do think he has season tickets to the Knicks, though. When he first started working for us, he asked me to a game,” I said, volunteering the information to see what Elliot would do with it.

Nothing, of course.

“I did notice he has a Mets pennant in his office,” Elliot said, more to himself than to me.

I shrugged my shoulders.

“Like I said, he’s a dude. Or he at least wants everyone to know he’s a dude.”

“Does he have a girlfriend?”

“No. And I think that’s why he’s been extra Colin-y lately. He has a son with his ex.”

“What’s his name?” Elliot asked, quickly.

“You’re asking a lot from me because I don’t typically store information that has no relevance to myself. It’s something like Chris or Chuck or Chad?”

Elliot nodded.

“Would you want him to go—I mean, if you had a choice? Would you want Colin to leave CIStech?”

I chewed at my bottom lip a little, really considering Elliot’s question.

“I don’t know. That’s a hard question to answer. What I can tell you is that I wish I could clone JaLeah. She’s just a superfreak of an awesome person. I’ve never really met anyone as smart and dynamic as she is—she just makes everyone feel so welcome.”

“I think she’s funny,” Elliot said.

“Really?” I said smiling and arching my brow. “That’s interesting.”

“Why is that interesting?”

“I just wouldn’t have thought you would think about something like that.”

“That’s kind of insulting,” Elliot said, his voice flat and unreadable. “I do enjoy humor now and then.”

I shook my head and chuckled.

“See? I keep learning new things about you?”

“You told me I intrigued you, and that you have to figure out people who intrigue you.”

I reached out and poked at Elliot’s thigh, gently prodding.

“Is there a recording device you’re using to play back every conversation we’ve ever had?”

“I listen,” Elliot said, smiling. “Especially when people intrigue me.”

I looked at Elliot and there was a smile in his eyes even though there wasn’t one on his lips. I felt like I could drown in his grey, stormy eyes when they sparkled, housing the mischief he never really let anyone see.

Our eyes locked, intensely focused on one another for a long enough time that it made me look away, almost embarrassed. I felt sure he could see my interest, naked and wanting before him, but he just didn’t make a move—either to look away or to move closer. Just . . . nothing.

“Alright—let’s get our smores prepped,” I said, getting up to reach for the bag of groceries on the table.

As the sun set and the lights on the rooftop flickered on, Elliot and I made our smores. We laughed, well I laughed, especially when he caught his marshmallow on fire and waved the toaster fork causing the marshmallow to propel into one of the rooftop trees. He looked like a dark-haired version of Denis the Menace, and I had tears in my eyes at the expression of horror on Elliot’s face as his marshmallow went sailing.

I positioned his fork over the coals for the next round and he attentively turned the marshmallow, refusing to even take his eyes off of it until it was perfectly browned on all sides.

“Your hands are healing quickly,” I commented.

“Thanks to you,” Elliot said sheepishly, shooting me a quick smile before returning his gaze to his marshmallow.

After we ate our fill of s’mores, we got comfy on the couch as we waited for the charcoal to burn down until it was safe to leave for the night.

We didn’t talk as much, but relaxed, enjoying each other’s presence, and I sat in the middle instead of on the end so I could test the waters, occasionally brushing a light touch to Elliot’s jeans or his bare arm, and he even reciprocated some of those furtive touches as he poked fun at me, teasing me for my inability to keep the plots of all three of the Back to the Future movies straight.

Eventually I sighed, knowing it was getting late and I didn’t want Elliot getting back to his neighborhood too late. We gathered up the left-over groceries and I shouldered my tote bag.

We said goodbye in my doorway, and Elliot moved in to hug me tight. We lingered for a moment, but he moved away and quickly pressed the elevator button. I watched him get on and we waved goodnight, a small smile ghosting across his lips as the doors closed.

I shut the door to my apartment and leaned back, thunking my head against it.

Purgatory. I was stuck in indecision-purgatory. Elliot was never, ever going to make the first move. If I wanted our relationship to shift, I’d have to do it, but it felt wrong. I was the one in the position of power. It would make more sense if Elliot made the first move so I wouldn’t feel like I was taking advantage of him.

Why did this have to be so fucking complicated?

* * * * *

The next two weeks proceeded much in the same fashion. Elliot and I texted nightly, and once or twice a week, I’d invite him over. We’d come dangerously close to kissing, but then he’d just leave.

I dropped as many hints as I could, especially about workplace romances. I talked about how Miles (my boss) and Jayne (my secretary) had gotten together, hoping Elliot would pick up on the comparison.

If he did, he never said a word.

So, my fear of losing him as a friend left me to continue writhing in indecision. I loved how close Elliot and I were getting, and if I scared him by moving too quickly, I’d lose the first good friend I’d made in a long time.

And what was really funny was that I was certain if I talked to Elliot about this, he’d get it. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Little did I know, fate was about to lend a hand; it was just too bad that fate was such a fucking bitch.

* * * * *

“You can’t be serious!” I laughed, finishing the last of my drink.

JaLeah nodded with emphasis, and we all burst into a fresh round of laughter.

Friday happy hours were always a fun way to wind down from the work week. We had a nice mix of people who went regularly and it was well known I always bought the first two rounds. People like Miles, singularly focused climbers, always underestimated the power of building relationships. That was one of the reasons why what happened with Elliot had stuck with me—I thought I had a better team than that.

People did seem to be closer now, more inclusive. There were several new faces at tonight’s gathering, and as I listened to the chatter around me, my thoughts drifted to one particularly attractive face that was not here. People’s voices became background noise as I thought about Elliot and I felt myself wishing he were here. I knew he’d hate every second of it, but he really was, albeit inadvertently, the reason for tonight’s greater sense of comradery.

Sometimes, I truly did believe the universe revolved around me, but only so it could fuck me over for one hell of a laugh. Just as I was a million thoughts deep into Elliot, he walked in through the door, close on the heels of Sarah, his hands shoved in his pockets. When he got inside, his big eyes found mine almost immediately and as I coughed, choking a little on my drink, JaLeah looked to see what distracted me.

Her grin was wolfish.

“Don’t say it,” I warned, my voice low so as not to draw the attention of the others at our high-top table.

“I cannot believe he came,” JaLeah said, drawing attention because even when she believed she was whispering, she never was.

“Holy shit—Elliot’s here,” someone said from a few seats down.

“Don’t make a big deal,” I said in their direction as I watched Sarah and Elliot make their way across the bar to our tables.

Elliot ran a hand through his hair as his eyes glanced around as if he were checking for exits. More than a few eyes gave him a once over as he approached and I felt a pull of jealousy. Logically, I knew people were looking at him more out of curiosity than anything else, but logic wasn’t my forte when it came to Elliot Alderson.

“Hey, everyone!” Sarah said, her smile bright and a bit nervous. “Look who I dragged out.”

Elliot gave the table a small smile as people said hello and a few who were a few drinks in gave a little whoop, which seemed to startle the small smile off of Elliot’s face.

JaLeah almost knocked me off my stool as she pushed me to stand.

“Elliot’s new, so he doesn’t know to cash in on Y/N’s generosity yet. Sarah—you can take my seat. What are you drinking?

“Gin and tonic, please!”

“You got it,” JaLeah said as she pushed Elliot and I toward the bar.

“Hey,” I said, once we were standing at the bar, our bodies pressed together thanks to the crowd.

“Hey,” Elliot said, his voice barely audible as he rested his hands on the edge of the bar, his fingers pressing into the hard surface.

“What can I get you to drink? I always buy the first two rounds for anyone at CIStech who shows up.”

“What are you drinking?”

“Vodka, cran. You want that?”

“Sure,” Elliot said, his eyes still refusing to settle on any one thing.

I reached over and rested my hand on his forearm.

“Are you sure you’re okay with being here?”

“Guess you can’t hold my hand all night this time,” Elliot said as his eyes flicked to mine.

I laughed.

“No, I suppose not. But, if you sit next to me, I’ll see what I can do,” I said as I winked at him.

Elliot smiled softly.

I put our drinks on my tab, along with Sarah’s. JaLeah had already dropped off Sarah’s drink and came back to say she was pirating the corner booth because our table was full and a few more people just showed up.

We followed JaLeah and I let Elliot scoot in before me. We crammed in and I shot Elliot a smirk as our bodies were forced to press nearer to each other. Elliot’s hand was fiddling with his drink until I reached down to pinch lightly at his outer thigh. His hand shot under the table and I gave it a squeeze before shooting him another look. He genuinely smiled as he realized we could hold hands without alerting anyone to our activities, except maybe JaLeah, but I wasn’t worried about her since she knew how I felt about Elliot without me ever having said a word.

As it turned out, the folks who joined us in our booth were good company. JaLeah kept the conversation light and fun, like always, and I could even feel the vibrations of Elliot’s chuckles on occasion.

“You know, JaLeah,” I began. “Elliot thinks you’re quite funny.”

JaLeah raised an eyebrow and said, “It’s about time people truly appreciated my wit, so thank you, baby.”

Elliot grinned at her, either because he’d had a few drinks or because he genuinely liked JaLeah, and said, “You could be a character in an Oscar Wilde play.”

The table laughed and one of the tech’s jumped on the reference to talk about the new play based on Wilde’s life that had just opened.

I leaned over, my lips dangerously close to Elliot’s ear, and said, “See? This isn’t so bad.”

Elliot’s pinky wrapped around my own and squeezed, and I gave him a sweet smile before turning back to the others.

It was one of those nights when people just seemed to be having a great time. We ordered appetizers. The waitress kept our drinks filled. The conversation never lulled, and bursts of laughter kept peppering the air. Before any of us knew it, it was 9:00 and a few people at our table started checking their phones with more frequency.

“Shit—I forgot my wife’s parents were in town. She’s gonna kill me,” Travis, one of JaLeah’s techs said.

“I told my boyfriend I’d be home an hour ago,” another tech said, giggling.

“It’s been a minute since we’ve had such a good night out,” JaLeah said. “See, Elliot? You should come more often.”

“It was cool to hang out,” Travis said. “You’re usually so intense at work—kinda like the big boss,” Travis finished with a chuckle.

I could feel Elliot’s fingers brush against mine. We had been playing this touching, not really, sometimes definitely, game all night and I was wet. I was appalled at myself for being so turned on just by proximity, but I couldn’t stop thinking what if this were normal? What if Elliot were mine? What if we went home together at the end of the night?

“There’s nothing wrong with taking work seriously,” I said, smiling. “That’s why I am the big boss.”

Travis and the others laughed.

We settled our bills and said our goodnights, but I noticed Sarah lingering at the door, clearly waiting for Elliot.

“I think we take the same line home,” she said smiling up at him as we reached her.

Elliot’s hands found their way into his pockets, the material of his dress shirt bunching a bit as he shoved them in.

“I take the 6,” Elliot stated, tension creeping into his voice.

JaLeah was giving out hugs like candy on Halloween, and I laughed to myself. She was such an extrovert, and I appreciated her energy on nights like this. The others slowly went in their separate directions as Elliot stayed close by, Sarah still talking.

“Great! We can ride together. It’s nice to have someone to talk to on the train at night. I forgot my earbuds this morning,” she said, chattering happily.

“Actually, Y/N, I was wondering if you wanted to, uh, come back to my place...” Elliot said, his eyes focused intensely on mine.

I could feel JaLeah and Sarah, damn near open-mouthed and watching this exchange. I felt like I might throw up on my shoes for a minute and I was thankful the street was dark because I knew there was a blush coloring my cheeks. I thought quickly, and shook my head, my words tumbling out of my mouth.

“Oh! That bug—that bug you told me about. You wanted me to run the analytics on it. I’ll send you the pin for Team Viewer and we can do it this weekend—I gotta get home. Taking care of my neighbor’s cat. Probably out of food. Have a good night!” I said, grinning like a madwoman and telling myself that Elliot did not look like I just kicked him in the face.

I waved to the three of them and took off for my train, thankful it was in the opposite direction. I turned around to see Elliot and Sarah headed in the same direction. I almost tripped over my own foot as JaLeah jumped up and down and mouthed “What the fuck, Y/N?! What the fuck?!”

I shook my head, turned around, and doubled my steps. I felt sick to my stomach. Fate had just laid an opportunity bare, spread eagle on the floor, and I walked away.

By the time I jumped onto my train and collapsed into a seat, I was fighting back tears. The look on Elliot’s face haunted me. I really, really hurt him—and I wasn’t sure I could fix it this time.

#elliot x reader #female reader #Elliot Alderson #elliot alderson fanfic #elliot alderson x reader #mr robot #mr robot fanfiction #rami malek #rami malek character #elliot

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goji-pilled · 5 years

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I'm rewatching Reflekdoll,again,and tbh I can say for sure this is by far my favourite episode ever.Here some thoughts since I'm a little late to that party lol

-The talk between Chat and Ladybug is like this mix of friendly teasing and joking and a very serious topic (at least that's how I see it lol)But honestly the parts I love so much come after that so skip that

-Juleka and Luka sibling moment.I mean we finally got to see what their realtionship is like and I couldn't be more happy with what we saw.Luka engouraging and supporting his sister and her dreams?Fuck yes that's some really good content

-What else I like about this scene is that I can personally relate to Juleka a lot,not only in Reflekdoll but also in Reflekta.The fact that she didn't want to bother Marinette or how insecure she is is something I did/said/felt too (or well still do/say/feel)Like this feeling that you're all alone,that noone cares or notices you?That hurts,a lot.And it's something I know all to well.And honestly it's super important to show children that these feelings exist because it might help someone

-Juleka not being able to handle a compliment?Yep,absolutely relateable.I swear I'm going to protect Juleka 'till the very end

-Alrighty this is the part that makes me slighty salty:Alya pushing Marinette into things that clearly make her uncomftable.I mean yes she means well and want to help her best friend but seriously,pushing her like this and forcing her into uncomftable situations with Adrien is the absolute wrong way to do it and the girl just doesn't seem to get that.Fucking hell Marinette pretty much begged Alya to not invite Adrien but she is just like "Fuck it!" and disrespects Marinette's wish.

-After 'Ladybug and the Miracubros' we present to you:'Adrien and the Girlsquad'

-Juleka getting more nervous untill it's an actual panic attack.Again I can relate a lot to this,even though I wouldn't say that I have panic attacks.It's more this feeling of becoming so nervous that it feels like you have a knot in your stomach,your throat is dry,you feel super uncomftable and all of the sudden your thoughts are worst case scenarios;"What if I mess up?","What if I'm not good enough?","What if they laugh at me or hate me?",etc.I have these thoughts more often than I like to admit since I was 6/7 years old.It just makes me kinda happy that a show for children shows this topic

-Marinette trying to comfort Juleka is something I loved too.Like Marinette is very understanding here and tries to help Juleka calm down which shows us a bit of their friendship and I just really apprechiate that

-And Alya is at her bullshit again dear god.Honestly Alya sees that Juleka is having a panic attack and all she thinks about is getting Adrien and Marinette together.It's just wrong on so many levels.Not only does she keep disrespecting Marinette but she also head on ignores Julekas situation,which is rude and disrespectful.Like seriously that's so not okay and she should've been called out for that.

-Adrien sweetie thanks for trying.It's good to see that he wants to help Juleka in this situation.

-ALYA GODDAMNIT.And again she is being pushy.Yes Marinette said she's gonna do it herself but in a way where you can tell she wanted to help Juleka and remove the pressure,plus Marinette never said she would never consider Juleka as a model again so there is that!But of course a certain Blogger had to be pushy and forceful about it again.And Adrien didn't even want to model,he just wanted to help.Oh god the way Alya told Juleka to give her suit to Marinette is just...no.Juleka is upset and honestly does Alya notice?No.And Marinette's clearly uncomftable oh god why.

Alya:"I care about all my friends equally!"

Alya:"Adrien!"

Alya:"Marinette!"

Alya reading something from her arm:"And uh...Julia?"

Honestly I could go on with this but let's refocus on the positive stuff.

-How the fuck does noone hear or see Adrien and Marinettd talk with Tikki and Plagg????

-Adrien and Marinette in that Partnerlook just expanded my lifespan for 100 years

-"He's too hot-I mean I'm overheating inhere don't you????"

Mari please you need to calm down oh god please someone save the poor girl-

-Julerose.Julerose.JULEROSE.I swear everytime Juleka and Rose interact my hesrt bursts.Also thank god for Rose and Marinette,it's these two who try to help Juleka (just like in Reflekta).Also Juleka bot wanting to bother others with her feelings?Yes hello I'd like to say that this situation is relatable.

-That soft look Juleka gave Rose after Rose kissed her cheek is just...so adorable and it shows how much Juleka loves Rose

-God Juleka talking herself down?Almost crying and super upset by herself?Probably even hating herself?Yep again,this is all too familiar to me and it feels so good to have a chrachter to relate too.

-"Yet again my young prey fails to be the center of attention."Your "young prey"???Seriously????Gabriel what the fuck-

-YEET THEM GLASSES

-No honestly Nathalie's transformation is so amazing.It's simple but in combination with the amazing theme this transformation is by far one of my favorites.I'd go as far as to say my second favourite transformation(Together with Luka's)

-I genuinly love the whole scene in the lair.I can't even tell you why because I don't know but I just love it.

-Them sending off an Akuma and an Amok?Loved it.

-Petition to let Gorilla adopt Adrien

-Also Gorilla is so soft for these kids

-I loved the scene of Juleka's akumatization.Like the purple maskoutline being a combination between Hawkmoth's and Mayura's looks so fucking cool

-Reflekta is back bitches!Honestly Reflekta has always been one of my favourite akumas and I'm happy seeing her again!Also her design is so fucking amazing holy shit

-I'm not fan of Miraculous' english dub but Juleka's voice actress is amazing.Lots of love to her.

-"I'm gonna show you what it feels like to be me!"Honestly that's such a great line on many diffrent levels.Not only does she say it because she's a villain right now but because she obviously has some kind of selfdisliking and ugh can you make Reflekta even more relatable too?

-"Juleka is no more,I'm Reflekta!Everyone always forgets about Juleka anyway..."Honestly this is again a pretty deep line and it shows more of her emotions...And I can relate to certain dagree.It feels like people just forget about you,that you're not important,don't matter,sometimes you want to be someone else so badly...Honestly Juleka truly is one of my favourite characters

-Reflekta turning Marinette into a Reflekta and saying:"Perhaps you'll understand me better now that you're in MY shoes!"It's another line that shows how Juleka(or at this moment Reflekta) feels.She feels misunderstood and wow same here haha...

-Tikki and Plagg's interaction earlier was great and Plagg reassuring Tikki is so adorable.Honestly these two need more screentime together

-"Rose!Where are you my BFF!"Juleka has the 'She's just a friend' desease,we all know what people in this show mean when they say:"She's just a friend".And since she said BFF they're probably married

-Plagg calling for Chat Noir and then almost casually telling Marinette his identity is gold.

-Honestly all Plagg/Marinette interactions are gold.I love this chaos duo.They are the best part about Kwami swap AUs.Also Plagg looks and sounds so soft when talking to Marinette I love them

-Marinette taking the ring like:"Fuck it"

-I love the detail that the Miraculous changes to it's wielder

-LADY NOIR TRANSFORMATION.I absolutly loved everything about it and it's my favourite transformation with Roi Singe's

-Lady Noir is giving me gay thoughts

-Lady Noir said fuck Reflekdoll rights

-Tikki is just like:"Oh god no the choas duo finally found eachother-"

-Adrien not introducing himself,rude.

-Adrien taking the earings:"Fuck it I always wanted to do this"

-MISTERBUG TRANSFORMATION.I love his transformation so much,he's an adorable Bugboy.Honestly his version of the Ladybug theme sounds so great holy shit

-Adrien sweetie why do you have a Reflekta head agi-oh never mind it's gone

-Hot take:Marinette does the Black Cat transformation better than Adrien,while Adrien does the Ladybug transformation better

-"M'lady Noir" I love it

-Adrien did the Orgins-Ladybug move with that yo-yo

-Lady Noir helping Misterbug out even though she sounds a bit rude gives me life

-The Lucky Charm scene is amazing I love it,them arguening and teasing like a married couple god just kiss already you dumbasses

-Again Marinette is explaining how the Lucky Charm works even though she may sound a little harsh she means well but she didn't have to hit him.......well it was funny...haha

-"Why don't you help me instead of making fun of me?!"...Adrien...she explained you the lucky charm the whole time...she tried helping you and teased you....you pun and tease her all the time...your still an adorable bugboy and I love you

-Marinette is so extra when summoning her cataclysm...I love it.Though she could've thought about the idea of cataclysming a sentimonster a bit longer...she's still a queen and I love her

-Adrien getting to explain cataclysming a sentmoster is a nice contrast to her explaing the lucky charm

-That wink Lady Noir gave Misterbug that just gave me a lot of life

-Reflekta is the first Akuma to ask for help nakwsnkwwk

-And again she helped him by reminding him to catch the akuma in a teasing tone

-Idk why but Adrien catching an Akuma and saying Marinette's catchphrases was so awesome

-Adrien admitting and understanding why LB never jokes around is some character developement we stan!Untill the writers decide to take that way that is but y'know

-Marinette admitting that she's happy to have a little less responsibilty for once hurts my heart like the girl has so much responsibilty and stress an in the end it always depends on her to fix thing and she just needs a break and a hug...

-Them working our a plan was great.It showed how well they work together and just ugh,kiss already you idiots!

-Gabriel goddamnit why are you letting her use the damn Miraculous god jesus

-Dusuu is absolutely adorable and I love her

-oh...rip Nathalie

-Oh the reunion with their kwamis was so sweet holy cow my heart is gonna explode

-And here I go again becoming salty,like Marinette should not have been the one to apolagize.It should have been Alya,to both Juleka and Marinette.Alya way the one being rude,pushy,disrespecrful ans inconsidered.But oh well of course it's always Mari's fault...

-Adrien and Girlsquad are the Brotp

Anyway overall I love Reflekdoll so much.It absolutely is my favourite episode.From Juleka/Luka sibling moment,being able to relate so strongly to Juleka,Mayura's transformation,the Kwami swap untill the end I loved the episode,despite being salty here and their but you can't expect me to watch a mlb episode and not be salty

#miraculous ladybug #mlb #alya salt #ml salt #kinda?#im tagging it to be safe #but yeah i loved reflekdoll

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erintoknow · 5 years

Text

Little Plastic Woman

it’s been 85 degrees here the last couple of days. hopefully this is coherent

fallen hero fanfiction; chargestep ~2.2k words

also thanks to @frozenabattoir for a certain suggestion earlier this week.

Before your Debut:

You’ve been trying to put this off for a while, but this trip doesn’t have to be a disaster. In fact, you can still turn this towards your advantage.

Any insider intel you could collect on the Rangers now would only tilt the odds in your favor when the time for your rebirth finally arrived. Second rebirth? Re-re-rebirth?

No. Stop it. Don’t get distracted by semantics.

Focus on Ortega instead, walking next to you, Excitedly guiding you down Main street. She’s in casual clothes again, a light blue training jacket over a deeper blue tank-top with grey shorts. As the day heats up, the jacket slides further down her back, exposes the tanned curve of shoulders, her arms–

No. Stop it. Don’t get distracted by aesthetics.

“Oh, hey!” Ortega tugs at your arm and you reflexively yank it back. “Hey, I’ve been meaning to check this place out.” Ortega’s pointing a thumb at the building you just walked past. A Neon sign stuck in the window reads ViVi’s in hot pink letters.

“What is it?” You ask, careful not let your facial expression change.

Ortega rubs the back of her neck, “Just this thrift shop I keep hearing about. All sorts of odds and ends.” She smiles at you, pulling you inside behind her with a genuine enthusiasm stronger than any grip she could have used.

You hunch your shoulders as you shut the door behind you. The interior of the store is dimly lit and the shelves closely packed together. Claustrophobic. Maybe reminds you a little too much of another place you’d rather not think about. How do you want to play this? You’ve been here as Jane once or twice when hunting down some specialty request items to speed along Dr. Mortum’s work. What are the odds Ortega would pick the same place?

Being here in person rather then as Jane… It’s like you’ve walked into a dream. New and familiar, just slightly off in a way you can’t quite articulate. Difference in the build of your bodies? It’s unsettling, whatever it is.

Ortega raises an eyebrow at you as you hesitate. Do you look uncomfortable? Well, you’re always uncomfortable in new places, so that’s not suspicious, right? “You looking for something in particular?” I ask.

“Not really,” There’s that sly grin again. “Just been hoping to scope the place out.”

You wave a hand, shooing her away. “Well, then go… scope it out I guess.” She’s not as subtle as she thinks she is. She’s on Ranger business. But to what end? Is there more to ViVi’s then you had picked up on as Jane? Might as well let her sniff around, maybe you’ll learn something that Jane can put to use.

You take a different aisle from Ortega. Put some space between the two of you so you can think properly. Once, in another life, you’d have to restrain yourself not to follow in Ortega’s shadow. Laugh at her dumb jokes just a little too long. Go out of your way to find something she’d like.

You pull a pack of socks out of a bin. Little blue lightning bolts are stitched just below the hem. Does she still find this kind of thing funny? It’s been so long since you’ve ‘been’ Ariadne Becker, you’re not sure you know how to anymore. You don’t want to think about the past. Just let it fade. She’s your enemy, not your crush. You put the socks back.

You wonder who Ortega is dating now. There’s always somebody in her sights.

“Ari!” Ortega calls and you jump an inch, almost knocking over the bin of socks. “Ari, over here, check these out.”

She’s smiling. Like that.

Oh no.

This can’t be good.

“..do I even want to know, Ortega?” With some trepidation you navigate your way through the aisles to her. It’s a shelf of kitsch, the kind of bargain-bin junk tourists get suckered into buying to prove they didn’t just stay at home for a week.

Ortega thrusts something small and plastic into your hands. You bring it up to your face to inspect it. You purse your lips, unimpressed. “This garbage still exists?” It’s a small plastic figurine in the shape of your old Sidestep get-up. The bust is bigger than the real life counterpart.

Ortega tsks at you. “Ariadne! It’s not garbage! It’s–“ You wait for her to think of something. “Well, okay, maybe these ones are. Look at that paint job. It’s not even on model.”

You shoot her a look. “What are you, an expert?”

You frown at the little plastic woman. What would she think of you now?

Your Debut:

You stomp through the the open double-doors. You are doing this. This is really happening. You’re going to trash the exhibit and the Rangers alike. You aren’t going to be a victim anymore. No more nightmares, no more running, no more living every moment in fear. You are the one in control now.

Time to jump.

It’s hard to breathe, like a bad smog day, pushing through the fear and panicked thoughts as you scan the reception room. The Rat King curls around you, chittering in rhythm with the song running through your head. …Is it learning to mimic your own mental wall? It doesn’t matter. It’s just as much a tool as you are. Whatever makes it happy.

Kick over the punch table. A woman screams, clinging to her date as red stains her white ballgown. Everyone backs away from you.

They’re scared.

Scared of you.

It’s exhilarating.

It’s terrifying.

You hate that you love this.

You take a breath, bracing yourself. You’ve got to get these people out of here. Before something happens– before you happen to them. You reach and the Rat King reaches with you, swooping up scattered panicking thoughts into a cacophony, you hold the notes and stretch them to silence. “Out!” You encompass the room with an arm and then thrust a finger at the open door, adding a mental push to your command. One by one by twos by threes, the reception hall empties out, little twangs of fear and panic going ‘sproing’ under your grip.

You don’t let go, don’t take a breath, until the room is almost empty. Finally. Now you can get to work. On your way out of the reception you make a point to kick the cake over. Bits of frosting stick to the sole of your boot.

You can sense a few stragglers scattered through the building. As long as they don’t get in your way, you don’t need to worry about them. The exhibit hall is easy to find. It wasn’t even half an hour ago you were here as Jane. Talking with Ortega. About you.

No. Stop it. Don’t get distracted.

The real goal here is wiping out yourself, but you can’t give the game away before it even starts. And anyway, this hall is grotesque. A monument to the dead. Just let them rest already. What ones that aren’t dead in body are dead in soul.

You don’t want to think about which one you are.

No! Stop it! Don’t get distracted.

If being Ariadne and Jane visiting the same place is disorienting, tracing Jane’s steps now, inside your new skin feels like something else entirely. Liberating. Giving yourself permission. Break the glass, kick over dioramas. Send out the Nanovores to swallow mannequins whole. Bend the plaques, tear down the signs.

Sidestep is the last one you touch. You know it’s just a mannequin under the mask but you feel like she’s judging you. For proving everyone right. For proving how wild and dangerous and terrible your kind are. She can’t understand, not yet. It doesn’t matter that she would be right. Everything you are is a crime to them, they would have never let you be.

It doesn’t matter what Ariadne Becker would have thought, she’s dead. You’re just the ghost come to collect her due.

You grab Sidestep off her stand, holding her up by the neck and squeezing until the head pops off and rolls away. The Nanovores take care of the rest.

Whatever it takes to get your revenge; whatever it takes to make the nightmares stop. You’re going straight to hell anyway, might as well drag the rest of them down screaming with you.

The year after:

You toss your headphones onto the counter and unclasp the broach of your shawl, draping it over the back of the couch before falling onto the cushions face first. “God, I’m so fucking exhausted. Herald makes me feel old.”

“When did you start cursing so much?” Ortega asks from behind you. It sounds like she’s in the kitchen.

“I’m an adult, I can do what I want, mom. Fuck off.” You try to put an edge in your voice, try to sound more bad-ass then petulant.

Julia laughs. “No dessert for you tonight.”

“Oh yeah?” You turn over, stare up at the ceiling. “Just try and stop me then.”

“Mm… I can think of a few ways. It wouldn’t even be hard… that part comes later.”

You can feel the heat in your ears. “And when you did you start playing dirty like this?”

“Oh, I’ve always played dirty, Ari.” The purr in Julia’s voice makes you squirm. You can hear her shuffle about the kitchen, the sound of water from the sink faucet. “Do me a favor? There’s some candles in the hallway closet, can you grab the pack?”

You roll off the couch, and stand up, stretching your arms. “Well aren’t we getting fancy today. I didn’t realize this was going to be that kind of dinner.”

“Who says the candles are for the dinner?”

“What do you–? Hrm.” You bite your tongue as an image occurs to you. You don’t have a comeback for that one.

Julia laughs as you open the closet door. Where are the…? There. Candles, bottom shelf. As you reach in to grab the pack something catches your eye further back and you push aside a cardboard box to see what it is. “Ortega…?” You call out.

“Did you find the candles?”

“Why do you have a bunch of… action figures in here?”

There’s silence from the kitchen and then Julia answers back, embarrassed. “Found the collection did you?”

You turn over one of the figures in your hand, rub your thumb against the plastic base. “Have you been… holding on to these?”

“Things got a little… strange after we lost you and Themmy.”

“Strange.” You repeat, your voice flat.

“It’s not like we had that much to remember you by…” You can hear Julia’s footsteps. “I did have a few photos, but they all got torched when the apartment was bombed.” She’s standing behind you, and you let her pull you into a hug even as you continue staring at the Sidestep figurine. “Nowadays I just keep picking them up out of habit.”

“You know I hated these things.” Downside of an economic free zone. What were you going to do, sue the manufacturer for violating the right-to-privacy act? Hah.

“Why do you think I put them in the back of my closet?”

Julia’s affection is like a vise, a pressure painful to the bone even as it holds you together. Every instinct in your head is yelling at you to push her away, to put distance between you. You turn the figurine over in your hands, guilt seeping in like bloodstains.

You don’t deserve to be here, lying to Ortega just by existing. Sidestep wouldn’t do this to her best friend. “Look at this, look at the chest on that woman,” you say, trying to keep your voice light. “Makes me feel inadequate every time.”

Julia laughs, running a hand up your side. “Oh, I don’t know about that,” she says, cupping your breast. “I think the real thing is plenty adequate enough for me.”

“J-julia!!” You push free of her embrace, dropping the figurine on the floor. Your face is beet-red, you just know it is. Still, you can’t stop the panicked smile on your face even as you try your best to look cross with her. “Wow, somebody’s bold today.”

Julia smiles at you, bright, genuine. She’d be better off if you ended whatever this was between you. She thinks she can save you, but that’s not possible. You’ll just drag her down with you.

“What till you see the cake.” Julia picks up the figure you dropped, careful to hold it by the base.

“Cake?” You eye Julia, side-tracked again. “What cake?”

“You’ll see.” There’s that smug, tight-lipped smile again. “Trade you for a candle?”

“Huh? Oh,” You swap the pack of candles on the shelf for the Sidestep figurine in Julia’s hands. “What’s this about cake?”

“Relax, won’t you?”Julia reaches with her free hand to grab your own. “Close your eyes.” She commands.

“…why.” What’s gotten into her today? What’s this all about?

“Oh, just do it Ari.”

You sigh theatrically, “Fine, fine.”

You both stand there. Julia says, a little more harshly now. “I mean actually close them Ari.”

“Fuck.”

Julia laughs, pulling you after her. “It’s okay, you can trust me.”

“I don’t know...”

“Then trust the me that trusts you.”

Your eyes are closed but you roll them anyway. “You really shouldn’t.” You say, only half joking. You squeeze Julia’s hand.

#fallen hero: rebirth #fallen hero fanfic #fhr #fanfiction #fallen hero #fhr/Ariadne #Rival: Yourself #mc #ortega #trans character #wlw fanfic

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