#thank you all for participating in my harvard study

[khrysos-karnifex]

Okay I think I get it

[gucciwins]

Roses and Romeo

Harry and Y/N come back to their hometown after eight years to open up a time capsule they buried ten years ago as high school sophomores. 

Word count: 20,534

A/N: Hello beautiful friends, hope you’ve been well. I’m really excited to share this story. It is a former high school sweethearts to lovers. Thank you to @havethetimeofyourstyles Jill for creating timetravelathon and allowing me to participate. I am very sorry it’s later but I finished!!! I do hope you all love it. 

Also this story is my baby, because i’ve never hit 20k before so this was new and exciting. I just had so many ideas for the story.

please come and tell me your favorite part!

_____

DECEMBER 1989 - SENIOR YEAR 

It's December, and all that is on her mind is how the grass would look covered in snow. The cold breeze, an extra jacket to stay warm, a blanket to bundle up with her favorite person. Safe to say, she can only imagine it because California, specifically Southern California, isn't so keen on giving her this one gift she asks for each year.

A huge smile spreads over her face as soon as she sees her house up ahead. 

It's not huge, but it is perfect for Y/N. She has the best memories growing up in a house full of love and laughter and the most gorgeous flowers. The iris and tulips bloomed extra bright this year. There is never a day her mom isn't fixing the garden. Her mother always makes sure she has fresh flowers in her room; right now, for the week, she has purple tulips. Also makes a lovely gift to take to her boyfriend. Harry always blushes when she brings him flowers. 

It also gets her extra kisses. 

Harry parks right outside but doesn't rush out to open her door like always, so she turns to look at him. He's tapping his fingers on the steering wheel; she patiently waits for him to speak up. 

She'd wait all day if she could; he has a beautiful face, one that she will never get tired of gazing at. She especially loves that curl that flops down over his forehead; as much as he pushes it away, it bounces back as if he never moved it.

"It's Friday, love." Harry begins, "I think you should consider coming with me to a party." 

She pouts. "No, I want to listen to that new record my dad found, and I also have lots to study. Big exam on Monday."

"You're always studying." He groans. 

She frowns. "Not true! Calculus is my biggest enemy. Mr. Leanza is not easy on us." 

"Okay, Miss 101%." He pokes her cheek. 

She huffs and crosses her arms over her chest in annoyance. 

"I'm not going to go just for you to tease me." 

Harry leans over and steals a kiss before she can dodge him. "Let's play a game." He sees her roll her eyes but asks her to hear him out. 

She gestures for him to go on. "I go in and quiz you. Zero wrong out of all the flashcards you have in that bag of yours, and I get to take you with me. I already have parent permission. I'll have you know."

She narrows her eyes at him. Not ever surprised that her parents agreed, they trust Harry. He's given them no reason not to. She's about to tell him, no, but he gives her a big smile. His dimples are on full display, and she finds herself agreeing. 

She mutters a small "okay." 

Harry smiles, knowing how she likes to make him work for it, but he really enjoys finding new ways to win her over. He might have cheated, flashing her his dimples that he knows she can't resist, but he never said he played fair. "Only if I get to drive Nessie." 

Nessie is Harry's classy white 1966 Mercedes-Benz 230 SL. She was never interested in cars, but Harry speaks so fondly of his car that she has come to learn so much about it and loves it just as much as Harry and her father together taught her how to change a tire and check the oil on Nessie. They want to prepare her for anything, and she is thankful because Harry likes to test her from time to time. 

Harry smirked, knowing how much she loves driving. She loves it but does not cave in letting her parents get her a car. Her parents have wanted to get her a car since she got her license at sixteen, but Y/N claims it is too much money to spend.

Her parents tell her they have saved enough for her and her education. It's like raising an only child. They remind Y/N all the time since her brother has graduated university and now lives in San Francisco as an engineer in a growing company. 

Harry has been meeting discreetly behind her back with her parents on gifting her a car this Christmas. Although he fears that having a car will mean less of him driving her around. Meaning they will spend less time together and fewer backseat make-out sessions, but on an upside also means he'd have to help her christen it. 

"Darling, you dating me for my car?" 

"Yes, dearie. I started dating you back in our first year because you had Nessie, not because of those dimples and lame jokes.

"You told me you love them!" Harry gasps, offended. 

"Tell you what you want to hear." She shrugs, getting out of the car. 

"Hurting my feelings, love." Harry now stands in front of her taking her bag from her hand and closing the door behind her. 

"Let's get inside." She pushes him to walk in quickly, knowing her parents aren't home yet and her mom isn't due for another thirty minutes, and she would really love to squeeze in a make-out session. 

"Compliment me, then we can go in." Harry stands firm in front of her, a teasing glimmer in his emerald eyes. 

She reaches up and places her hands on his cheek, planting a small kiss on his nose.  

"You're a dreamboat, Styles." She whispers.

Harry can't help the blush that seems to be taking over his entire face. 

She pecks his lips and skips around him. "Let's get studying, then you can help me pick my outfit for later." 

Harry shakes himself out of the trance she always seems to leave him in. "God knows you need it

JUNE 1998 - SUMMER HOME 

Y/N had always known she was a bit crazy but honestly, deciding on making a 44-hour road trip from Massachusetts to California, where her hometown of Aurora takes the cake. 

Yes, she knows how unsafe it is to be a woman on the road alone, but she saved up for the trip and would be spending the entire summer home for the first time since graduating high school. A plus was that she knows the map really well, having studied it hard like one of her anatomy books. Also, helped that her father quizzed her on what roads and exits she would be taking. 

She's a good driver; her father always told her everyone else is who she had to watch out for. Honestly, she thanked her family for pushing her to drive more, and now she loves being behind the wheel. 

The road was never-ending, taking her where she wanted, and currently, she was aiming for home. 

It's four hours until she reaches home, a home she has not lived in for over eight years. A place that holds her most precious memories as well as most heartbreaking.

She's driving with the window down, enjoying the breeze, knowing the heat will only get worse the closer to home. A car passes next to her; she looks over briefly, taking in the vehicle's blue color. It does look a bit old; as the driver accelerates their speed, she notices that it's a Mercedes-Benz but can't make the model seeing as the driver must be eager to reach their destination now speeding off. If she's honest, those types of cars remind her of one person, and that's how she knows she'll never escape because she finds meaning for them in anything and everything life has to offer. 

The last few hours on the road pass relatively quickly because the next thing she knows, she's parking her Jeep Cherokee in what she used to call her parking. This car has spent nine years with her and runs like a dream. It was a gift from her parents, and at the time, she was nervous about the gesture but really grew to love it. It also came in handy, seeing as she now lives far from home and visits as much as she can. She hopes to make more trips up now that she has residency but knows it will be harder to get holidays off. 

Her parents understand; they do. She's following her dreams and achieving each one, and that is all they could ever ask for. 

Y/N gets out and gets her suitcase; it has her essentials and anything she's missing; she can come out later to get it, well her father will most likely fight her and do it on his own. 

Just as she is about to open the door, it swings open. Her mother doesn't give her any time to react and simply wraps her in a hug. A tight one full of love and happiness, an embrace she will never get tired of. 

"Hi, momma," Y/N murmurs, not at all ready to let go.

"Hello, my sweet girl. It's good to have you home." 

"It's good being here. Feel younger already." 

"Ah, same here. Come inside; I have lemonade served up and muffins because they are your favorite." 

Y/N smiles, knowing how much her mother made sure to have her well-fed always. No matter what she told her, she wanted her with meat on her bones. This also meant anyone who she brought home was given a big meal as well. Telling everyone and anyone they were too thin then proceeding to provide them with a second serving. This was her mother's way of getting into people's hearts through their stomachs. 

Y/N walked into the kitchen and smiled at how nothing had changed. Hanging on the refrigerator were her three graduation photos: high school at seventeen, ready to take the world by storm, at twenty-one graduating with the highest honor from Columbia University, and the last was graduating Harvard Medical school this past spring. She knew the next to join would be a photo of her on the first day of her residency. 

"Your father refuses to take any down; when your brother comes into town, he complains. Your dad shuts him up by telling him to go be a doctor, and then they could talk." 

It warms Y/N's heart that her parents are proud of all the accomplishments she has made. It's been a tough road, but nothing stops her until she accomplishes her goals, and starting her residency is the next stop. 

"Like dad's office is covered full of his accomplishments since entering that job in San Francisco." She jokes, transitioning the conversation away from herself.

"The oldest child always seems to be the most jealous." Her mother reminds her.

After eating a muffin or two, her mom sends her off on a walk, not wanting her to be cooped up in the house on her first day back. She has always loved walking around. It's something she did when her friends weren't able to offer her a ride. Also, her parents would walk her to the park every weekend growing up to run around in the grass and ruin more clothes with grass stains.

It's no surprise that she arrives at the entrance of the town's park. It looks like there is no one around until she really enters and finds a family seated on a picnic planet as their youngest tries feeding their oldest strawberries. It's a sweet sight. 

She keeps going, not at all wanting to disturb; soon enough, she enters the part of the park no one really visits and finds the old park bench with lots of initials carved in the wood, hers included. It creaks as she sits on it; she smiles, knowing that it is something that has not changed. 

There aren't many flowers in this corner, just a big willow tree offering her shade that she very much enjoys. 

It's nice being home, she's missed it, but she has loved living in new places, making new friends and connections. She spent her first four years in New York, and she loved the environment. It was a university filled with thousands of people never seeing the same face twice in the halls. Everyone was always in a rush to get somewhere but not here, not at home. Everyone stops her for a conversation. They talk to her as if no time has happened, as if she was still the young girl who helped her mom tend the garden each weekend. 

In a way, she always will be. 

She wanted this time to explore and travel because she knows this where she'll come back one day to lay her roots. She and her future husband will marry here, maybe at the botanical garden with the beautiful flower arch all year round. It's where she sees her children growing up and running around as she once did. She's got her residency to finish up, but she's looking forward to when she can call Aurora home again. 

After sitting for a while, she decides she will come back with a book or two next time. If she's going to be here all summer might as well start by doing some reading on books she has not gotten around to reading. Y/N is thinking about leaving when her eyes spot a couple coming down a hidden path, a small daisy behind the girl's ear, her arm tight around her boyfriend's arm. He's got the biggest smile on his face. They look so lost in each other, one can feel their love. 

It reminds her of when she used to do that. When she did that with Harry before they broke up and never spoke again. It breaks her heart, but it also brings back some of the best memories. He'd always bring her here just so they could talk for hours so that she'd tell him more about the flowers and to kiss in private. 

One of her favorite memories is when they were in their third year of high school, and he asked to meet for a surprise. She stands up and shakes the memory away, not wanting to get lost in her thoughts. It's harder to do now that she's home and she can see him everywhere she looks. 

With that last thought brushed away, she decides to walk back home. She's got a few days to herself before meeting with everyone; there was the big reason she was back in town. 

It was time to open a box of memories. 

APRIL 1989 - JUNIOR YEAR

Harry is up to something. 

She suspects something because he made her walk to the park when he would always be quick to offer her a ride. Sure, it's only a ten-minute walk from her house, but he always says something along the lines that not everyone is as kind as they seem. 

It's April, and the flowers are in full bloom. She hears the birds singing, and she swears they sing of the beauty of the flowers. It's also bee season, meaning lots will be around the park, and as much as she loves them, Harry has a big fear of them. Y/N has mentioned various times that they don't mean to harm him; it can just happen. Especially if they get startled.

Y/N takes note of a new flower; it's a small white four-petaled flower that grows in fragrant clusters. They smell divine, but she knows she has never seen them. She really wishes she had her father's polaroid on her to take a photo and show her mother. Any other day she would turn back to do just that, but Harry is waiting on her. 

She walks to the back of the park where Harry has claimed their spot, their initials carved in the bench make sure of that. He's standing next to the viola's, and they stand dull next to Harry. 

"Hiya, angel." Harry greets hands hiding behind his back.

"Hello." She greets softly; Harry can easily note she's nervous. Any other time she would have given him the biggest hug, but right now is keeping an appropriate distance. 

"Are you nervous?" He teases, which honestly calms her down because if he's teasing her, it surely means he doesn't want to break up so she can toss that idea right out. 

The last few ideas left are that it's an important anniversary and she's forgotten, or he just wanted to be romantic. 

She hopes it's the latter. 

"Not so much anymore." She replies truthfully, stepping closer, desperately wanting to give him a hug. He looks warm in his knitted baby blue sweater; she knows it was a Christmas gift from his grandmother, his new favorite. 

 If he's not wearing his cardigan, he's wearing his varsity jacket, but it's at the dry cleaners because when it's not in his possession, it's in hers. She likes the heaviness of it, how small it makes her look. Harry is the perfect height, standing at what she thinks is 6'0, but she can't be too sure. His broad shoulders only seem to grow stronger each summer after returning from two weeks of football camp. At this point, she wears his varsity jacket more than he does. Sure, she can get an academic one she has more than enough patches to choose from, but it just isn't the same; besides, she rather spend her money on books and records. 

Harry tells her his favorite thing about her wearing his jacket is that it has his last name. He knows marriage is long down the line, but he does hope to share the same last name one day. 

It's his most prominent dream.

But currently, his big dream at the age of seventeen is asking the prettiest girl to prom. 

Harry brings his hands forward to reveal a dozen lavender roses in his hand. Y/N gasps at their beauty, not at all expecting this. They are gorgeous, and she can't wait to show them off to her mom as soon as she gets home. 

"My love," Harry starts closing the gap between them and bringing her left hand to his lips to place a soft kiss before setting it back down to rest close to his heart that is beating just for her. "Will you do me the honor of being my date to prom?"

She smiles wide, not at all expecting him to ask, let alone for it to be this romantic and intimate. 

"Yes, of course." She wraps her arms around his neck, and Harry spins her around, letting out a small holler of excitement. 

"The roses are beautiful; they must have cost you a pretty penny," Y/N tells him as soon as he sets her down so she can admire them again.

"Well, darling. You're worth every one. It also pays that your mom gets on well with the town's florist." 

She giggles, nodding. 

"Now, how about we walk over to my car and celebrate with a make-out." Harry wiggles his eyebrows at her, knowing he needs very little to convince her. 

"Harry!" She chastises, looking around to see if anyone heard, but the park is empty, not a soul in sight. "How about we take a stroll around the park, then we'll see afterward." 

"You're a little tease, love." She leans in and pecks his lips two times. He tries for a third, but she hurries off. 

"Come on, dove. We've got to see the rest of the flowers that are blooming." Y/N's voice is full of excitement at the chance of walking around the park for the next hour, hand in hand with her boyfriend. 

Harry grins happily, following after her, he may be young, but he knows he will do whatever is in his power to always see her happy and smiling.

JUNE 1998 - HOME

"Dad!" She yells as soon as she walks in the door; she sees him stand quickly from his seat on the couch and embraces her in a big hug.

"My baby is home." He whispers. 

"I missed you." 

"I missed you too, sweetheart."

"How was work?" 

"Awful, when I knew I had my two favorite girls at home waiting for me."

Y/N laughs. "Always a sap, dad." 

Her mother makes her presence known. "This is a lovely sight. I've missed it." 

"Yes, as have I." Her father gives her one last kiss to her head and lets her go. 

"Any plans?" Her mother questions walking back from the kitchen, placing a cup of tea for Y/N on an old family coaster. 

Y/N takes a seat on the couch, as do both her parents wanting to carry on the conversation.

"I'm meeting Sarah and Sydney for breakfast one of these days, most likely going to spend the entire day together. Then, everyone else won't be coming around until the week after. Think it will be on Friday, seeing as that is what worked for everyone's schedule. 

"Happy to see your friends." Her mom states, the wide smile on Y/N’s face confirming her statement.

"Yes, chatting isn't as easy as when we were in high school seeing each other that day. There are lots of emails sent back and forth between us." 

"Glad you girls stayed closed. Was worried you would all drift away." She reaches forward to squeeze Y/N's knee. 

Y/N knew she meant it about Harry. How no one thought anything would come between them that they would make it through university and settle down soon after. Oh, how wrong they all were. As much as they hoped for the best, they were each other's downfall. 

"It's a bit late; I'm going to shower and head to bed instead."

"Before you go, can I say something?"

Y/N recognizes the gleam in her mother's eye and nods, knowing she has to get this off her chest. 

"It's sadly a man's world out there, but you have managed to make it your own." She reaches forward and takes Y/N's hand in hers, pressing a gentle kiss before settling it in her lap. Y/N smiles. "I know you long to love and share it with someone, and I want you to remember that the person for you is out there. As a mother, I know these things, and I wish you nothing but the greatest things in life, but they all come when we are ready for it."

Tears well up in Y/N's eyes, she nods. Not replying to her mother's words because she knows if she speaks, she will cry. 

"Lorelai, you made her cry." He whispers, pulling both women into a squished hug. 

"I've always had your father, and I hope you find that someone for yourself." 

She pulls back and wipes her tears away. "Thank you." Y/N leaves her parents with a final hug.

She heads up the stairs to the room that holds all the memories she has kept locked away. In her home, there are no longer any photos of her friends or of him. Not like before, where they were spotted on every wall displayed for all to see. Her mother took them off after she left for university. It broke her mother's heart to see her suffer such a big heartbreak. Harry had become like another son to her parents, so they were all sharing the heartbreak. She missed everything about him, but it has been years since they last spoke. 

It's been eight years since they last talked, last kissed but not the last she's thought of him. He's coming for the time capsule opening, and as much as she tries to convince herself she's going to be alright, she knows she's not. Yes, she's moved on. She has built a life without him in it, but it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. 

All she can do is count the days until she leaves Aurora and goes back to the comfort of her apartment in Massachusetts. 

____

It's been a week since she's been home, and she knows everyone will show up in two days. The friends she was sure she'd never lose touch with but slowly did with time no matter how each tried, but life moves on. 

Y/N is nervous to see everyone. She's changed in the last eight years, but so has everyone else. She misses what they used to have in high school but honestly, getting to hear what everyone has been up to will be fun. Who knows, it might feel as if not time has passed at all? 

She met up with Sarah and Sydney earlier for breakfast at the old dinner. The girls spent a good five minutes embraced in a hug before they took their seats. They ordered too much to eat but, to no surprise, finished it all by the end of their conversation. 

The time together was spent mostly catching up and jumping from topic to topic. She did feel she was asked one too many questions about starting her residency and how they will be addressing her as a "doctor."

Y/N brought up Sarah's love life wanting to hear how they were doing. Sarah and Mitch did not start dating until after graduating high school, finding out they were going to the same university just an hour away from their hometown. Everyone was aware of Mitch's heart eyes for Sarah, but she was too focused on her internship, always wanting to do good. One can imagine how happy everyone was when news spread that Sarah asked Mitch out and was quick to say yes. Now eight years later, were happily moved in together. Sarah is a music engineer, and Mitch a music teacher at the local high school; as mellow as Mitch is, he gets on well with the teens. 

Having focused on love and Sydney quickly saying nothing new was going on with her, just that she was more in love than she could have ever imagined, it was time to hound Y/N, it seems. They asked about her love life and how good-looking the boys in Massachusetts are.

Y/N told them how nonexistent her love life has been since she graduated high school. It's not something she ever made time for, and her friends understand as much as they hate that for her. Sydney did not stop herself from making a joke on what seems to be Y/N's long dry spell. She shrugged it off, not at all bothered. Y/N assured them she knows how to take care of her own needs until the right person comes along. They all knew who she hoped would be the right person, but they knew better than to bring him up.

Once again, there was a change of pace. Sarah surprised them with tickets to Spice Girls at a sold-out Madison Square Garden concert on July first. Six tickets, a perfect number for their friend group. It was perfect, honestly. Sarah figured they'd road trip up the last week of June and could stay in Y/N's shared apartment with her roommate, who would not be home yet. Then take a train up to New York for the show. Also, told them they'd have hotel rooms for the night already, having an idea there would be an after-party. Y/N was all for it as was Sydney. 

Y/N has always loved concerts; it's something she saves for not bothered to spend some money to enjoy a great show for one of her favorite artists, especially in good company. The long queues were a downfall, but not everything is perfect. She has gone to concerts and knows that one can make the best experience out of floor seats and nosebleeds. Artists never fail to amaze. 

It reminds her of the first concert she ever went to that Harry took her to their senior year. The ticket stub she has pinned next to a polaroid that a stranger offered to take for them. It was before the show, and they had matching grins. It's still one of her favorites, and the reason she doesn't take it down is too good of a memory to keep hidden away. 

While seeing Sarah and Sydney was good and everything she hoped it would be, it did not prepare her to see the others. She had not talked to Zac in a long while, having no idea what he was up to. Mitch is quiet and only says hello when she has called with Sarah and Harry; well, it's like she doesn't exist to him. Not since their last day together. 

Y/N has two days to prepare.

Two days to wrap her head around the fact that she's going to see Harry. 

AUGUST 1989 - SENIOR YEAR

Many people told her to enjoy her high school years because they would fly by, and she accepted the advice and made memories to last a lifetime in the three years leading up to her senior year. Her friends and family have made each year memorial. Still, there is something about senior year, and knowing that it is their last year before university has her excited and anxious. 

Harry repeatedly told her how he wanted it to be their best year yet and promised to do just that. She has no doubt in her mind he will accomplish that in whatever way. He's managed to do so year after year. 

Harry made sure to pick her up each morning, never wanting her to worry about walking alone to school or arriving late. He made sure he knocked on her door every morning.

Depending on the time he showed up, he was ushered in for a homemade breakfast, or sometimes he said a quick hello before grabbing her hand and rushing out the door because they were running behind schedule, and Harry knew he could not make her arrive late. 

One thing that was always constant was how he carried her bag to his car and opened her door. He made sure she was settled before reaching down for his morning kiss. Sometimes, he went as far as putting on her seatbelt, just wanting to be close to her. 

Today was Monday, and he usually comes in, but today he selfishly told her to grab him a slice of toast because he was in a hurry. She didn't question him and sent her apologies. Her mom kissed her cheek and told her not to worry about it. A true angel, her mother was.  

Harry slipped her bag over his shoulder before ushering her in. She felt a little flustered with his urgency but let him be. He stole a quick kiss before going to the driver's seat. 

"What's got you in a rush today?" She asks, genuinely worried. 

He smirks, looking over at her. He seems calm, not that they've driven away from her house. "Thought we could use the extra time for some kisses. You deprived me this Sunday." He pouts at her, waiting for the light to turn green. 

"H, you know I have dinner with my grandparents one Sunday a month." She chastises him.

"I know, darling, doesn't mean I like it." He tells her. "Had to suffer a Sunday alone." 

"Well, at least I know how I can make it up to you." She teases. 

Arriving at school, Harry parks toward the back under a shady tree, one far away from everyone. 

"Want to sit on my lap, baby?" He asks, spreading his thighs, and as much as she wants to, she shouldn't knowing very well what he can convince her to do when in his lap. 

"Later, H." She promises. 

"I'm holding you to that, angel." He unclips her seatbelt, quickly placing his lips on hers. 

She feels how smooth his lips are and knows he stole her cherry lip balm again. "Harry, that's the third lip balm you've taken in two weeks." She pulls away, rubbing her thumb over his bottom lip that he juts out. He gives her thumb a soft kiss. 

"Swear I was going to put it back this time." He moves closer, placing a kiss on her neck, slowly trailing down, pushing his varsity jacket down her shoulder, exposing more of her neck. Her black corduroy pants and white acrylic sweater, and her favorite worn-out Mary Jane's mother have been begging her to change out. She likes to think it adds an extra flair to her outfit. "You drive me crazy when you wear my jacket," He whispers in her ear.

"Does that mean you're always going crazy?" She whispers back, knowing he mostly wears the jacket during game days. 

"Always make me lose my mind." 

After a fun half-hour of making out, Y/N pushes him back, knowing she has matching bruised lips. She loves that everyone can see what she did to him. She also may have sucked a little too hard on the skin right below his collar, the love bite just barely visible. She pulls down the sun visor, looking in the mirror to straighten out her hair, that Harry just loves digging his fingers into. 

"Baby, what did you do?" Harry says, looking at the fresh mark just by his collar bone. 

She smirks, knowing very well that Harry loves when she marks him. Not doing it very often in fear of getting caught by their parents. 

"Got to remind those girls that stare at you who you belong to." She reapplies her lip balm before layering the new lip gloss her mom got for her the other day. 

"You know I've only got eyes for you, love." He says, caressing her cheek softly. 

His gentle tone of voice always makes her soft, but it also might be that his accent seems to stand out even more. 

"I know, H." She leans in to give him one more kiss but pulls back quick enough to not let him deepen it. 

"Sneaky, baby." He clicks his tongue at her, rushing out and rounding the car to open her door, offering her his hand. 

She gladly accepts it, placing a kiss on both cheeks before landing on his lips. 

"I love you, Styles." She whispers against his lips, eyes closed as she tries to catch her breath. 

"And I love you, my darling angel." He softly nuzzles her nose, causing her to let out a small giggle. 

"Let's get you to class." He says, throwing his arm over her shoulder pulling her in close. 

Harry is smiling wide; she takes notice as she looks up. He looks extra giddy. 

Too giddy, and it has nothing to do with their steamy make-out. 

She narrows her eyes at him, "what's got you extra smiley?" 

"Nothing, happy all the time."

"Nuh, uh. Styles. I know you. Fess up!" She stops walking, wanting him to answer her.

"It's because my girl marked me up today for all to see. Makes me feel special." He answers smoothly. 

Y/N looks at him in suspicion, not buying a single word he's saying, "I'm onto you, Styles."

Harry lets out a deep breath before stepping close to her. "Let me surprise you, darling." 

She instantly relaxes. "Okay, only because you know I like surprises."

"Thank you." He rests his forehead against her, happy to be in her space, forgetting all around him until he hears a shout of his name. 

Moment over, it seems.

"Let's get you to English Literature," Harry murmurs, intertwining his hand with hers making sure she's close by as Sarah greets her.

_____

It's lunchtime when they walk hand in hand to the lunch tables where Mitch and Sarah sit, stalling their conversion to greet them. Before she can take a seat next to Sarah, Harry pulls her in his lap. He leans in close to her ear and whispers that he'll give her his chocolate chip cookies Anne had baked. She silently agrees, grabbing the bag Harry was offering her. What he didn't disclose is that his mum had sent them specifically for her. They have three empty seats, but she can see Zac and Sydney approaching, carrying food trays. Meaning, neither had lunch prepared for the day. 

Y/N leans back against Harry getting comfortable, knowing that he wouldn't be letting her go any time soon. The chatter begins with how their weekend went and what this week's activities are. She knows she doesn't have much to do this week; her club meetings don't meet until next week. Harry has football practice all week, meaning she either visits the library or finds a ride home. She doesn't mind staying and watching his training, but Harry hates knowing she sits there alone for so long. He rather have her be home warm and cozy than on the cold bleachers.

Harry asks for her attention by placing a kiss on her neck, his tell sign that he's feeling left out. 

"Yes, H," She whispers for only him to hear. 

"Need your attention. Don't like sharing." 

"You're extra needy this Monday, dove." Y/N has his hands in her lap as she begins to trace circles on his palm; it's something that soothes him instantly. 

"I just want to know our plans this weekend." He kisses her cheek, nuzzling his face in her neck. "Rather you get parent permission early on than last-minute giving them a chance to say no." 

Harry's right; there are occasions where her parents have said no, and Y/N finds herself sneaking out from her window that conveniently has an old tree that makes it all the easier. 

Her parents trust them together, but if they really knew what happened behind locked doors, they would think otherwise.

"Do you want to go kiss a little?" He wants her to say yes. 

"At your car or in the abandoned hallway?" 

"What's quieter?" 

"The hallway, and it's closer." 

Harry nods, gently grabbing her waist and helping her stand. "We'll see you later," Harry says, interrupting their conversations. 

"Oh, Styles, you've corrupted her." Zac teases very well, grasping what they were about to go do.

"Think she's corrupted me. Who knew angels could be so dangerous?" Harry teases in front of their friends. 

Y/N feels her face warm, bidding them all a quiet goodbye. Harry, having rendered her a bit speechless. She swears she never knows what is going to come out of his mouth. 

Harry all but drags her to the hallway. He gently pushes her back against the wall next to an older poster for the school play. Y/n glances down at his lips before looking into his eyes.

"Did you really bring me here to kiss, or are you spilling the surprise?" Her eyes are big and filled with hope. 

"Sorry, baby. Really did want some kisses from you." He pulls her closer wanting no space in between them. "Really missed you. Can't believe we only have one class together." 

"It's like they know you wouldn't pay attention to me in a class with you." She teases.

"Kissy." He pouts his lips, feeling like they've talked enough. 

Who is she to deny him when he asks so sweetly. 

Y/N always felt like time stopped when she kissed Harry. She felt her heart pounding in her chest as her knees grew weak, and as if Harry knew, he wrapped his arm around her waist, keeping her up. Harry pulls away slowly, a smile growing on his face. He would never tire of kissing her. 

Harry leans in and nuzzles his head in the crook of her necks, slowly beginning to place kiss after kiss before he finds his favorite spot and begins to suck lightly, pulling a surprised moan from her. 

She pushes him back. "No love bites that high. It will keep us locked up in the house all weekend supervised. 

Harry tenses at the thought, knowing fully well her parents would do that, having done it before when they first started dating, and he thought more with the thing in his pants than his brain. "I guess I'll just have to bruise these pretty lips."

Never one to tell him no, a small nod is enough to make Harry lean in and take her breath away. He'd kiss her forever if he could, but the last fifteen minutes of lunch break would have to do for now. 

_____

Monday's always drag on; she goes home, does homework, reads a book, and waits for dinner to be ready. Most days, she joins her mother in cooking; both like conversing about their days. More than ever, they have lots to talk about, from holiday plans to the universities she is applying for. She has saved up allowance allowing her to use it for more universities than the average three. If it was up to her, she'd send one to all the universities because that is how confident she is not only about her grades but how she comes off as a student on paper. 

Dumping most of her books in her locker, she keeps Calculus in her bag, knowing the sooner that homework gets done, the less stress she'll have. Just as she shuts her locker, she hears footsteps approaching her. 

"Is my girl ready to go?" 

"She is." 

Harry swings his arm over her shoulder, and they begin to walk out the school doors that are kept wide open. There are groups of students lingering talking to another, and in the distance can hear cars driving away eager to get away. 

Y/N smiles at a girl who sends her a wave, recognizing her from her English course. Harry walks them under a tree, a reasonable distance away from everyone because, as she has come to know, he likes kissing her in private. 

"Our first game is in two weeks." Harry reminds her.

"Yes, exciting." 

"Will you be there, or is there a test to study for?" He teases. 

She frowns and takes him by the lapels of his varsity jacket that she gave back to him at the end of lunch because she claimed it was losing his smell. 

"Don't start, Harry. You know I've never missed a game, and I won't start now." 

"Was only teasing, love." 

"Didn't like it." 

"Sorry, love. Forgive me? He pouts, wanting her to smile at him instead of frown. 

"You know my price." Y/N shrugs. 

He sighs, nodding his head three times before moving to get on his knees, toying with unbuttoning her pants. 

She gasps and jumps away. "Harry!"

Harry can't help but smirk, "Isn't that always the price."

"I just wanted a kiss; no need to make a scene." He shrugs. "Now, don't you have a practice to get to?"

"Ugh, I do." Harry groans, dreading practice knowing the coach likes to run them twice as much for not working out on the weekends. 

"Give me a kiss, please. Then you'll come by later, right?"

"That is correct." He leans in, giving her three consecutive pecks on her lips. 

"Who's taking you home again?" He asks, wanting to make sure she's safe. 

"Sarah and Mitch." 

"Right, good. Well, off I go, poppet." 

"Bye." 

Harry turns and heads toward the field, where he can see the freshman already setting up drills and getting the water jug out to the bench. He's only taken a few steps when his angel's voice stops him. 

"Dove," 

Harry can feel his cheeks turn bright red at the term of endearment. He turns and takes two steps back to her. "Yes, lovie." 

"Will you give me one more kiss?" Her voice soft and innocent but the gleam in her eye is anything but that. 

Harry takes the last step towards her and holds her face with both hands reaching down and kissing her passionately. He pulls away after what feels like a lifetime, slowly as he tries to steady his breathing. 

"I love you," she whispers.

He presses a final kiss to her forehead. "And I love you." Harry turns and begins to jog away, recognizing he's got a limited time to get dressed and out on the field to warm up. He's a few feet away but turns his head to see her watching him still. "Tell your mom I'll be joining you for dinner." 

She nods, letting him know she heard him before he turns a corner and out of her eyesight. Only then does she go in search of her waiting friends who will bring her home. 

______

After Y/N informed her mother that Harry was going to join them for dinner, she got up to cook, wanting everything to be ready for when her father and Harry arrived, seeing it would be around the same time.

Y/N made herself scarce as her mother was in no mood to converse. Instead, she wanted to cook, and maybe if she planned her time accordingly, she would do dessert. 

Dinner time came around quickly, meaning she was lost in homework for a good few hours. She walked downstairs wanting to help her mom set the table when the front door swung open. 

"Hello, father!" Y/N bounced over to him, giving him a big hug and a peck on his cheek, one that he happily returned.

"Hi, my sweet girl." 

"Mom cooked a delicious dinner. We're just waiting on Harry." Y/N told him, knowing he's hungry from a long day at work.

"Won't have to wait long; Harry was just parking when I was on the steps." 

Y/N's eyes lit up at hearing that he arrived. Her father chuckled, "I'll go say hello to my wife, dinner in ten, okay." 

Y/N walks out to see Harry coming up the stairs in a cozy blue emblem sweater with denim Levi jeans and paired with his old white Chuck All-Stars. She smiled because he went home to shower, not wanting to wear his clothes from earlier or come over smelling like sweat, not that she minded. 

"You know we don't mind the sweat, H," She tells him as he's climbing up the last few steps. 

He shrugs. "I know, but I am a guest in your home and would never dare disrespect your parents and you, of course." 

Y/N grins. "Four years dating, and you continue to prove to be the most perfect boyfriend." 

Harry looks away, feeling bashful. "I wouldn't go that far." 

"I would, dove." Y/N closes the gap between them. "Now, I say you kiss me before mom calls us in for dinner." 

"It would be my greatest pleasure." 

____

Dinner was a success, conversation always flowing well. Y/N likes to sit back and listen to her parents talk with Harry as if they hadn't seen him in forever when he is more than likely to be here every other day. Her father is a big fan of football; he too was once a player. No, he wasn't quarterback; he was right-wing and helped his team make it to state championships. 

The high school team has won three state championships since Harry's first year as a freshman. They counted on making it the fourth year; no doubt in anybody's mind it would happen. Y/N picked up on her father's excitement going on and on about the first game and how it was the most important one now that scouts would be coming out more and more. Without a second thought, she reached over and placed her hand on his thigh, lightly squeezing, reassuring Harry she was there for him. He slowly turned the hand on his thigh palm up and intertwined them together. 

"Thank you so much for dinner, Lorelai. Luke, thank you for the great conversation. I can't wait to see you both at the game."

"We wouldn't dare miss it, Harry," Lorelai tells him, a wide grin on her face as she picks up the dishes. 

"Now go on; I'll help your mother with the dishes tonight." Luke gestures to them to get up and get their privacy. Y/N thanks him and takes Harry's hand, leading the way up the stairs. 

Now they are lying on her bed, it's got enough space for them to be spread out, but she prefers to lay across Harry, her head on his chest as he rests his head on her pillows. 

Harry had his hand in her hair, always calming for her and for him. Allows them to sit in comfortable silence, basking in the joy of being together. 

Many people ask them if they ever get sick of seeing each other every day and never giving each other space after dating for so long. That isn't entirely true because when they aren't at their respective extracurricular activities, they are found together. Harry's response is always, "she's my favorite person." Y/N just shrugs and smiles, "he's my best friend." 

Believe it or not, they spent around in her room listening to music or in his house watching movies from their grand VHS collection. Most thought they spent it making it out, not that they don't do that because they are just as in love as when they got together four years ago. When they walked into any room, her parents were sure they would be kissing, which is why the open door policy exists. Well, half-open is the agreement now. 

Harry looks around her room, his eyes settling on the polaroid photo on her bedside table, one of them smiling at each other, lost in their own worlds. It's dated 06-18-1989<i<, it was from one of their many summer days spent together. He decided now was as good as time to bring up what he had been hiding. 

"You know how we were making plans for the weekend, sweetheart."

"Yes, you didn't let us decide on anything." 

"Well, what if I did?"

She sits up and moves to sit in front of him. "Okay, I'm all ears. 

"You up for a drive?"

"Always, so drive me to the moon, please." 

Harry laughs. "Serious for a sec, baby."

"Sorry, yes, go on then." She interrupts him once more. "How far is the drive? You're not always the best driver."

"Ouch" Harry has his hand over his heart, feigning as if her words had pierced him. "Guess I won't tell you."

"That's fine." 

"Yeah. Is it?" 

"Yup." 

"Why's that?" He's confused; she's usually begging to know by now. 

"Simple, because I just won't give you any kisses."

"That's cruel."

"Oh well. I don't play fair." 

"Think you can resist me, sweetheart?" 

"Oh, I know I can." 

Harry shakes his head, response ready, but she stops him. "Remember who asked who out five different times."

"That's because you were playing hard to get. Claiming you just wanted to be friends for a little longer." 

"That was tru-" It's his turn to stop her.

 "Ah, yes, I know. I was getting impatient. Don't know if you know this or not, darling, but I had to scare off a lot of boys. 

"Trust me, H. I knew" 

"You did?" 

"Yes, I think it was because everyone knew sooner or later I was going to put you out of your misery."

"Yeah, by saying yes." 

"Oh no, I was going to say no."

"What changed?" Clearly, something had, and he just had to know. 

"You decided to show up at school wearing your Sunday best and brought me sunflowers. Told me they reminded you how much light I brought into your life. There I decided yes, he'll make a fine boyfriend."

Harry's smile is big, dimples on display just for her. Always for her. "You tease too much."

"But you love it."

"I do." He leans in and smiles as she lets him lead the kiss. It's slow and full of love. A love that only continues to grow each moment they are together. "I really do."

Y/N leans in, wanting to give him more kisses, wanting to be connected to him, wanting him to always feel her love. She's not sure how much time has passed when Harry pulls away. 

"You do realize we got sidetracked." 

"Yes, worth it if you ask me." She looks pleased. "Now you have to tell me, I gave you kisses."

Harry runs his thumb over her bottom lip, asking for another. She puckers her lips leaning forward, and connects their lips in a short soft kiss.

"Friday night, the Forum."

Y/N's eyes go wide; she was not expecting to hear that.

"No."

"Yes."

She sits there taking it in.

"Say it, baby." Harry likes that he managed to surprise her. 

"You got us tickets for Elton John." She whispers out, her eyes now locked with his needing him to confirm it.

"Yes, I did." 

"A sold-out show."

"Think it's going to be a fun night."

"How?" Although Y/N has an idea.

"Well, I called in on a favor with our dear friend Sarah and the radio station she's interning at." 

"I love her." She breathes out.

"Hey," Harry knocks her out of her gaze. "And me." 

"Of course, I love you." She moves forward, seating herself in his lap. "I love you. I can't believe you did this for me." 

"Yes, can't let you go off to uni without experiencing a concert." 

"You are perfect, Styles."

"Perfect for you."

There's so much love in between them; if anyone walked into the room, they'd be able to feel it. 

"Wait." Her hands now resting on his chest, a frown taking over her face. "How are we going to convince my parents." 

"Already done. Told them the plan and the itinerary, and your parents have agreed." 

"Perfect, I'm telling." 

"Is this why we're walking to school tomorrow?" She remembers him telling her he won't have his car. 

"Yes, taking it to the mechanic. I just want to make sure all is okay." 

"Marry me?" 

Harry can feel his cheeks warming up; she always makes him blush. He takes hold of her left hand and brings it up to his lips, leaving a gentle kiss on her ring finger. 

"All in good time, my love."

_____

The week had dragged on, but it was finally Friday. She had been excited all week, and everyone could tell. Told her how she was jumpier, a lot more smiley, and twice as affectionate with Harry. She was happy.

She's at home getting ready; they would be leaving soon. Seeing as it was still a bit of a drive and no doubt would get stuck in traffic, seeing as they aren't the only ones attending the show. 

Y/N had gone over outfit after outfit until she finally decided on what she is wearing now. She's wearing a deep red power shoulder tucked into her favorite high-waist denim that makes her waist and butt look extra good. 

As she walks down the stairs, she hears the door and knows Harry is here to take her away. No matter what, he always stepped up to the door to pick her up; it still made the butterflies in her stomach go crazy. 

Her father is at the door speaking with Harry going over her extended rules and what numbers to call for an emergency. 

"Well, aren't you a dream," Harry looks her up and down; she does a slow spin for him on the heel of her black boots to give him the full look. "I'm a lucky man." 

"Glad you know it, H." 

She grabs hold of his brown leather jacket and runs her finger down it, it's an old one, but he takes such good care of it; one would think he just got it today. 

"Think you just took my breath away, H." She swears there are hearts in her eyes as she takes him in.

"That's exactly what I was going for." 

Harry and Y/N bid her parents goodbye; they wish them a safe journey. Her mother was excited to send her off; her father was a bit more worried but trusted Harry to keep her safe. 

The drive to the arena is filled with conversation over the upcoming year, Harry's final football season, and her volunteering hours how she was hoping to be accepted into the NICU's internship at their hospital. Also, lots of singing on the radio as well as Harry's CDs. From ABBA to Shania Twain, he had, but they settled on Elton John for the ride. 

In what feels like no time, they had arrived. Y/N is amazed at how big it is; she doesn't know much about the place just from what Sarah told her that it was large and no matter where she sat, she was going to have the best time of her life. Already having Harry at her side, she had no doubt about it. She can't stop smiling, and neither can Harry.

Harry grabs her hand as they both stare at the arena, where hundreds of people are lining up to enter. 

"Ready, love." 

"Yes, gosh. I might throw up from the excitement." 

"Oh no, let's get you a pop. It'll help."

"That sounds nice." Y/N leans up and gives him a gentle kiss. "Thank you, H." 

"Angel, I am more than happy to do this for you." 

Hand in hand, they walked into the arena, ready to sing their hearts out together. 

_____

Two hours of singing and dancing her heart off, and yet it still wasn't enough to tire Y/N out. Harry was sure she'd be clinging to his arm as he pulled her out of the arena, but she had asked him to wait out the crowd, and they stood in the emptying arena, arms around each other. He could feel her heart beating against his chest, and it was still pumping hard. He kissed her lips one final time before swinging his arm over her shoulder and guiding them out to the chilly Los Angeles air. 

Y/N was all smiles, and she thinks it has to do with the man whose curls have fallen flat from all the sweating they did inside the arena. Being in a room packed around thousands of people will do that. She has never been in such a happy and united environment. 

It's a memory she's going to cherish forever. 

The drive home is full of retelling of their favorite parts of the night. Harry decided his was when Y/N turned to kiss him during "Your Song." He felt himself fall in love with her all over again. It's a feeling he never wants to end. 

Y/N's had to have been each outfit change. There were so many that she lost track, but she loved how unique each outfit was. It's something she knew she could never pull off, but she admired the beauty of each one. It was over the top and full of colors; it kept her mesmerized. It reminded her of life and how filled with color it really is. Also, when Harry sang his heart out during "Tiny Dancer." How he knew every lyric and didn't miss a beat, if she's honest, she didn't bother looking at the stage for the entire song too entranced in Harry. 

The smile does not leave their face, not during the traffic of getting on the freeway, not when they stopped by McDonald's and got burgers and decided to share a coke, and not even when they saw the sign welcoming back into Aurora. 

Y/N's smile didn't drop until Harry parked his car right in front of her house. She sits back against the seat and turns her head to already find a bashful Harry smiling at her. 

"Come here." He whispers. 

She unbuckles and sits in his lap, it may have been a few hours, but she missed being this close to him. 

Y/N didn't wait for Harry to ask; she simply leaned in and connected his strawberry lips with hers. She loved how soft they always were, and she knew she'd keep letting him steal her lip balms if they did such an excellent job keeping them soft and tasting sweet; then again, that could be all Harry. She lets out a small moan when Harry swipes his tongue on her bottom lip, asking for entrance, and she happily grants it. 

She wishes she can stay here forever, in his arms, kissing his lips, never having to stop. 

"Baby," Harry breathes against her lips.

Y/N knows what he's going to say; she's not ready to say goodnight. Instead, she keeps kissing him. "Just a little longer." She mutters against his lips.

Harry can't bring himself to pull away again and nods, allowing her to take control. He has a tight grip on her thigh, he wishes to move it higher, but he knows if he does, she won't be going inside tonight. She moves her lips down his jaw pressing gentle kisses.

"You drive me crazy." 

"Feelings mutual, darling." 

Harry pulls her back up and kisses her plush mouth. She tastes sweet, something he never pinpoints; all he knows is that it's intoxicating. He presses one final kiss on her lips and pulls back. She's breathing heavy, a large grin on her face. He knows he looks just as dazed. 

"Think you got to get inside now." 

"Don't want to leave you." She grabs a fist of his jacket, pulling herself closer. 

"I'll be here tomorrow afternoon."

She pouts. "Why so late?"

"Because you're going to want to sleep in." He brushes a bit of her hair away, she leans into his touch; she loves how delicate each touch is. 

"What if you come early and then cuddle me? Mom won't turn you away."

"She might."

"Not after I walk in and tell her how amazing the night was." She cups his cheeks, rubbing her thumb affectionately on his smooth skin. "She's got a sweet spot for you."

"And you." He reminds her. 

"Well, of course. I'm her daughter." She laughs but knows she hasn't convinced him. "Please," she whispers. She flashes him her best puppy dog look, knowing he won't be able to resist.

"Fine. I'll be here at eight, darling." 

"Perfect." She gloats. 

"Let me walk you up." 

Harry helps her back into the passenger seat so they can both head out. He grabs her hand, pulling her in close, not wanting her far for the last moments he has her. 

"You want to know something, H." She whispers, keys in her hand.

"What is it, angel?"

"I want to travel the world with you."

"The world." He gasps. "It's a big place, baby. Where would we start?" 

"London got to see the place you grew up before moving here. Of, course we'll save up and just spend the year traveling wherever life takes us."

"That sounds perfect." 

She hums, deep in thought, picturing visiting all these places she's only dreamed of with him by her side. To see the Eiffel tower, walk the streets of Scotland, and swim in the Amalfi Coast waters. 

"Dove," He hums, playing with a loose string of her jeans. "Where would you like to go?"

"Anywhere you want. I'll make sure to take you wherever you want to go." 

"Take me to the stars, dovie."

"As you wish, my sweet angel." 

Harry brings his right hand up to her face and gently cups her cheek; she sighs, knowing precisely what he's going to do. She tilts her head up and feels his lips against her. It's the softest kiss of the night; it's gentle. It's her favorite kiss, the goodnight kiss, a promise to see her tomorrow. 

She breaks away the first time tonight, knowing if he kept going a moment longer, she wouldn't let him go. "Goodnight, H," She whispers as she begins to open the door. 

"Goodnight, love." 

Harry turns and walks to his car as he hears the door shut and hears her turn the lock. Once in his car, he takes a look up at her window, sends a final smile as he sees her waving him off.

He feels so much joy always being around her, but tonight it seems to have multiplied by a hundred. He knew tonight was perfect, but his favorite part wasn't even at the concert; it was standing outside her door as they spoke of their future together.

Happiness isn't always about the big moments but also about these small moments that make them feel invincible.

JUNE 1998

Y/N grabs a book from her bookshelf, not bother glancing at which one knowing if she stopped to read each title, she would be there all day. She heads to the yard, a picnic blanket tucked under her arm, so she can lay on it and soak in a bit of the sun. 

Her mother is trimming the leaves of the roses, wanting the flower to pop out more. Her father usually helps her, but he's finishing up last-minute work before coming out to join them. He has a good view of them from his office window. When she was young, he told her he chose this room because it's where her mom spends all her time, and he likes having his eye on her as she joins the beauty of her flowers. Y/N's known love all her life, and she's happy her parents have each other, but she can't help but feel like she let that one-of-a-kind love go years ago and fears she'll never find it again.

As she settles down on her blanket, she decides to rid herself of all thoughts and instead get lost in the words of Stephen King. She picked up a psychological horror. She remembers her father mentioning it was a good read and that she'd enjoyed it. Two pages in, and she knows she's hooked; it looks like she will be laying out here all day. 

At least that's what she thought when her mother interrupted her. 

"When are you meeting everyone?" 

Y/N puts the book down on her chest and looks over at her mom, who's still got her eyes on her roses. "Sorry, what did you say?"

"When are you meeting everyone?" Her mother repeats herself.

"Tomorrow."

"Time, darling?" 

"At one."

She hums in response. "I leave you in charge, and please be watchful over my roses." 

"Of course, I would never think of damaging your roses. Well, my roses, really." Y/N corrects. 

"Just because they were planted in your honor does not mean they are yours. You've cared for them for such little time."

"Excuse me, mother. I went off to university, but once I'm done and ready to settle down, I will be doing all the caring."

"Yes, because you will have time as a doctor." Her mother responds sarcastically. 

"I will be able to." 

Her mother decided to move on, knowing how stubborn Y/N can be. "Your father and I have lunch and dinner plans out of town, so you'll have the house to yourself for most of the day and night."

"You're treating me like I'm sixteen again, and it's my first time having friends over." 

Her mom laughs, and Y/N can't help but join. "You're forever, my little girl."

"Cheesy." Y/N teases.

Y/N leans back and gets comfortable, all thoughts of tomorrow pushed away and instead gets lost in the town of Bridgton, Maine. 

_____

It's time; everyone is making their way over. She can feel her palms begin to sweat, thankful there's a nice breeze outside to keep her cool. Y/N and her mom cooked pasta with grilled chicken and strawberry lemonade wanting to be ready for after the digging. Y/N would feel bad making them dig a hole, open a box, then head on out. These people are her friends, and she wishes to spend time with them, and what better than with food.

She's got ten minutes before everyone is due to arrive when she hears a car pull up and turn off right in front of her house. Y/N knows of only one person who shows up early.

Harry. 

Y/N thought he would be the last to arrive, but she's guessing old habits die hard. She takes a deep breath before opening the front door and walking out.

Harry would be lying if he wasn't nervous. He's about to see Y/N for the first time after years. He's seen her in photos; he knows she only continued to become more beautiful as the years passed. It's not the same as, no, because he knows what's separating them is a walk up to the door. 

He feels precisely as he did the moment he asked her out and, if he's truthful, how she made him feel their entire relationship. Harry's 26, but his heart feels 18, and at that age, he was deeply in love with the woman inside that house. He loves her just the same.

Harry takes a long deep breath before slowly letting it out. He could do this; he got out of his car and made his way up the path, where she was already standing waiting for him. It felt like no time had passed as if he was coming over to take her on a date--except they weren't even close enough to say they were friends. 

"Harry," She breathes out as he reaches the first step. 

"Hi" He sends her a small smile. "You look great." 

Y/N feels her cheek flush, and knows he can notice now that he's right in front of her. She takes in her outfit; it's simple, just a cropped red long-sleeved tee and black pants, with an old pair of black sneakers. 

"Thank you, Harry. As do you." And he really does. He's wearing loose green denim joggers with a matching jacket. He has left it open, showing a brown button-up, a silver cross necklace peeking out from the space he left unbuttoned. "Always on time still."

"Better early than late." 

She nods, not sure if she should continue the conversation or not. Are they going to stand out here in silence? It was never this hard; she hates this. Y/N rather keep talking than let themselves stand there in silence for another eight minutes. 

She clears her throat. "How'd med school go? Have you decided on a residency yet? Anne told me you were weighing your options." 

Harry doesn't try to hide his shock. "You spoke to my mum?" He asks in disbelief. 

Y/N grins as much as his English accent is fading; it always comes back when saying 'mum,' or well, when he's nervous. 

She nods. "I visit her when I visit my family. Recently passed when I came to see my mother who was feeling down and lonely as she put it even though she has dad to keep her company."

Harry smiles, knowing what weekend she was talking about because he had come the week after, and Lorelai had told him she was no longer as lonely. He thought it might have been because of his company, but it was because her daughter was home for a weekend.

When he's about to tell her where he decided, she waits patiently, staring up at him, a shy smile on her face but stops when Sydney comes and tackles Y/N in a hug. 

"Of course, Styles got first dibs on you." Sydney fakes her exasperation. 

"He knows how to be punctual." Y/N teases. "Looks like you bring the others as always." She signals seeing two more cars park; they park in the empty driveway.

"Just like old times," Zac screams out two bottles of wines in his hands. Mitch and Sarah walk up behind him, agreeing. 

Y/N looks around, and it's almost like old times. Just one small difference that makes her heartache. 

Everyone greets each other, sharing long hugs, and it's not long after that she invites everyone in and into the backyard. 

"Mom says if we mess up her roses, we are dead meat," Y/N informs them all as they all stand in a semi-circle under the spot they buried their time capsule. 

Mitch steps and pats Harry on the back. "If anything does happen, just say it was Harold. Lorelai has a soft spot for him." 

Sarah approaches water in her hand. "Y/N is her golden child who does no wrong, easy to forgive."

Y/N laughs. "Enough. No roses will be damaged. Are we clear?" 

She gets a chorus of "yes."

"Great, there are clear instructions that only Zac and Harry are allowed to shovel. Sorry, Mitch, mom said we've got to take care of your musical hands."

Mitch nods in appreciation. 

"What about the doctor? No care for him." Harry mutters a small smile on his face.

"Quiet Styles, you're a favorite still," Zac tells him, pushing a shovel into his chest. 

Y/N's happy watching the banter; it's like she's sixteen again, and they are trying to see who could dig their side of the hole faster. 

SEPTEMBER 1988 - TIME CAPSULE 

"High school friendships aren't known to last," Zac speaks out randomly, breaking everyone out of their conversations.

Harry sighs, "You're a downer." 

"I'm a realist." 

Y/N takes this in; she hasn't thought years down the line. She just assumed they would always be in her life. She can't see herself without them.

"What if we aren't friends ten years down the road?" Y/N voices.

Harry instantly picks up the concern in her voice. "I promise I won't let that happen, lovie." He assures her. 

"H, I know." 

"It's not uncommon for others to drift, especially when everyone has a different path after high school." Sydney comments. "My sister went through it."

"Let's write a letter, and we can bury it, open it ten years, but we have to do it together," Sarah suggests.

"Not a bad idea." Everyone nods in agreement.

"Let's do a letter and something important to us." Y/N proposes already having an idea of what to put.

"It's settled. We're burying a time capsule." Harry states. 

"One problem." 

"What now, Zac?" Sarah groans. 

"Where do we bury it?"

Slowly everyone turns their gaze on to Y/N. 

"Your house," Sydney tells her. 

"You all agree?" Y/n is surprised. 

"Your mom will never leave her house. It's gorgeous."

"Also," Zac chimes in, "You love it and tell us how it's going to be yours one day."

Y/N sighs and nods. "I will ask and will let you know."

_____

It took a lot to convince her mother, but her father liked the idea and supported her. Two against one, Y/N knew her mom was in a losing fight. After lots of hugs and kisses and promises of doing the dishes for two weeks straight, she got permission. 

They had decided on a Saturday, wanting to do it early in the morning, unsure how long they would take digging the hole. Her mom designated an area for them to open. 

Her mom allowed her to have the house to themselves, trusting them not to do anything but dig a hole. Y/N had everyone promise they would be on their best behavior. 

Harry and Zac volunteered to dig, and no one argued. It took over an hour for them to get a decent-sized hole. It looked tiring, but Y/N enjoyed watching Harry's muscle flex as he threw out dirt. Finally, being satisfied with the hole size, mainly Sydney, made them go longer; it was time to place their items inside. 

Y/N rewrote her letter a few times, never knowing the right thing to say. It wasn't until she was lying on the floor of her room with Harry's head in her lap did she know what she wanted to tell her future self. 

Mitch went first, putting in his first-ever guitar pic, Sarah her Walkman, Harry followed with a copy of Romeo and Juliet, Y/N a chained rose ring, she put it in but not before giving it a small kiss knowing she'd miss it. Zac decided on his baseball mitt, and Sydney threw in a signed polaroid of herself, knowing it'd be worth a lot more once she became famous for her art.

Harry locked it shut with the final object in the box and lowered it down with Mitch's help. It fit well, and they sat around as it began to fill with dirt. 

"Ten years, we'll come back and open it up." 

"Yeah, but like summertime. I'm sure we'll have more time during the summer than other months." Zac might be right for once. 

"June 1998," Sarah suggests. 

Everyone thinks about it for a second, it feels so far away, a lifetime, really, but yes, they all agree. 

Ten years' time, they will all be digging it up and will relive these moments. 

JUNE 1998 

Harry removes his jacket half an hour in, and there is nothing to complain about. He tosses it close to her side, and Y/N knows if things were different, he would have gently thrown it at her, and without a second thought, she would have put it on. She missed the times when he loved her. Because as much as she can't admit it out loud, she still loves him. 

Now she'll fake conversation with Sydney when her real focus is on Harry and how his muscles seem to grow every time he scoops some dirt out and adds to the pile. He's grown buff over the years, he was always tall and firm in high school due to football, but now he's more defined. The most significant change was in his face, more stern. Not as smiley; it might just be due to being around her. He must hate being in her presence after she broke his heart. 

Y/N lets herself get lost in thought when Zac cheers. She looks down, and peeking out in the corner is brown wood.

"We've hit gold." 

In the next five minutes, Zac and Harry dig as much of the sides as they can, and soon enough, they are lifting it out before settling it down with a big "thump." 

Y/N can't stop eyeing it; it's got dirt in every spot that meets her eye, but she knows what's waiting for her inside of that box, and she can't wait to have it with her once more. 

"Who's going to do the honors?" Mitch asks the bolt cutters in his hand, ready to hand them over.

Everyone looks around at each other; no one says a thing until Harry steps forward and reaches to take them from his hand. Mitch hands them to Harry, no question asked. Harry heads straight to Y/N; he stretches his arm out, waiting for her to accept the cutters.

"Think it's only fair Y/N does the honors, seeing as we made her do a lot of groveling to Lorelai ten or so years ago just for us to bury this; not that she let any of us know." Harry smiles, urging her to take it. Y/N fingers brush his rather quickly, but in that small second, she felt her heart rate pick up and fears he might hear it, although that is almost impossible. 

"Thank you." He nods, urging her forward. 

"Take your time, doll." Zac says sarcastically." 

Y/N is too busy getting down on her knees in front to see the glare Harry sent Zac's way. Everyone else catches the look; believe it or not, they all hope this is the moment that brings these two once lovers back again. 

"Here goes nothing." 

Y/N places the bolt cutters between the lock and counts down to three; it breaks right off the first try.

"You've got some strength!" Sydney exclaims; she was expecting it to take much longer.

Y/N lets the lock fall before reaching up and pulling the single latch. She scans everyone circling around her before opening the crate hating the creaking sound it releases. 

There on top are their most prized items from when they were sixteen. 

Sydney reaches in first, pulling out a polaroid and pink envelope. She flips it over and lets out the biggest laugh. Sydney turns the photo around, letting everyone see her in the photo wearing her then boyfriend's varsity jacket. It has her signature on the page. "I swore I was going to be famous for my art and would sell this for thousands." 

"One day." Harry offers. 

Sydney shrugs. "My boyfriend will appreciate this the most if I'm honest."

"He's that crazy for you?" Sarah asks.

Sydney nods, a shy smile on her face. "Yeah, I'm fortunate." She laughs, letting the moment pass. "Enough, Zac, please, you're next."

Zac, for the first time the whole evening, has fallen silent, almost looks nervous to reach inside. He takes a deep breath to go to the corner of the box and pull out a beat-up baseball mitt. Y/N can see his eyes well up with tears. He chuckles, "I swore I was going to go pro, but that senior injury year changed everything. In a way, Zac felt free; he got to pursue a career in travel journalism. "Enough sap, I volunteer, Harry." 

Harry nods, moving forward, sitting next to Y/N thighs touching; she feels her breath hitch; she doesn't dare move. He reaches in for the only book it's resting on the bottom, a white envelope with a scribbled 'H' on top. He sets the envelope aside but keeps the book in hand.

Harry smiles at the book in hand, Romeo and Juliet. It was not his favorite by any means, but it held a special place in his heart because it was the first book Y/N read to him when they first started dating. He remembers telling her he hated how she ignored him for words on paper, so he proposed she read to him aloud, and that way, they could bond. Y/N was thrilled at the idea; the first book was Shakespeare because it was a reading assignment, and she wanted it done that weekend.

 Harry hated the ending; he remembers ranting to Y/N as she ran her fingers through his hair to calm him down. He didn't understand why Shakespeare made these two people who were star-crossed lovers fall in love in a week only to have them die. 

Safe to say, it took a while to let Y/N read another one of Shakespeare's works. 

Y/N's eyes were on the book, and she watched as Harry carefully opened it to the first page, moving it back so that only they could read what was written on the cover page. 

It read: I've loved you for six months. I'll love you for six more. And maybe if I'm lucky, I'll get to love you for life. Love, Y/N xxx

Y/N felt tears behind her eyes; she had to look away. She was so naïve at the age, but oh how she loved him, and she knew he loved her just the same. Y/N was so grateful to know she was loved, even if it was years ago.  

She doesn't want to go next; instead, Sarah reaches in to save her. Sarah pulls out her folded half of paper and her blue Walkman player. "Oh my goodness, this is going to have some golden tunes." 

Mitch chuckles, "You suffered without it. Think was the first time I ever heard you complain about something." 

Sarah sends him a playful glare. "Shut it! Why don't you go next, Mr. Sentimental."

Mitch is one to never say no to Sarah, so he shrugs and makes his way forward. Patting Harry on the shoulder causing Harry to shift closer to Y/N. Both Harry and Y/N don't say anything but don't bother to move away either. 

Sarah smiled as she watches Mitch pick up a guitar pick. It was the first one he received from his father. "Dad always said I had a guitar in hand." 

"Mitch, you've voiced your thoughts out loud." Harry jokes. 

"Funny Styles." That's the last of what Mitch says as he moves back to read his letter, and Sarah follows close behind. 

Y/N feels everyone staring, but really it's only just Harry. Everyone focused on their own letters but also waiting for a reaction. She slowly reaches in, first pulling out the pink envelope with her initial on the front; Harry wrote it for her, saying she needed a way to identify it years later. 

She sets it in her lap before reaching in and getting the item she's been thinking about all day. 

A silver rose ring. 

It was a gift from Harry; Y/N always spoke of roses and how much her mother loved them. Leading to Harry finding out she loved them just as much. He wore this ring for a long time; he found it in a store in London before they made the move here permanently. It's his last real piece of home, but Aurora had become home, and so had Y/N. It felt right to give to her. She cried, receiving it, and knew it wouldn't fit but told him not to get it resized. She surprised him by wearing it around her neck; she put it on a chain she had. There wasn't a day she wasn't seen without it. 

She holds it tightly in her hand as if Harry might rip it out of her hand, wanting it back, but it's hers, and it's special. Y/N never wants to forget her memories with Harry, no matter how much it hurts, thinking back on them. 

"I've missed it." She whispers. 

Y/N slips it over her head, letting it rest outside her shirt for all to see. She missed the look on Harry's face, but this might be the motivation he needs to speak with her. To talk about where they are now in life. 

Except Y/N stands up, brushing the dirt that was on her pants to head somewhere more private to read her letter she wrote to herself. She walks a few feet away and flips open the pink tab, pulls out a folded paper. Her eyes immediately go to the bottom of the page, wherein black ink, it says, "I love Harry (PS: he made you write that, but it doesn't make it any less true." 

Everything surrounded him; her love for him was just that large. She reads over her letter taking in the words of how her sixteen-year-old self said she was proud of her and that no matter what happens, it was all for a reason.

It's exactly what she needed to hear. 

Harry is watching Y/N stand there read her letter, and he feels the gaze of everyone else to go approach her. Years ago, he wouldn't have thought twice about it, he would have been at her side holding her hand or rubbing her back, but now he doesn't even know if they are even friends. Mitch nudges him, and he knows he should check on her, but she surprises everyone by turning around, a grin on her face. 

"Mom and I cooked lunch, so let's wash up and eat. All this sure has built up my appetite." 

"Don't have to tell me twice." Zac smiles, walking inside heading straight to the kitchen sink. 

The others begin to follow Zac inside when Y/N stops hearing her name being called. It's Harry standing by the hole, shovel in hand. 

"Should I cover it up?"

Y/N can't help the smile, Harry was always so eager to help, and she's glad his kind helping sport hasn't changed. "No, dad is going to cover it. Mom told him he needs to do more yard work. She called it bonding time." 

"Okay, if you're sure." 

"I am." 

"Let's head in then." 

As Harry is about to walk past her, she reaches her hand out, grabbing his bicep, surprising him. "Thank you." 

He nods his head. "Of course." 

Y/N sighs; there's so much left unsaid. Their breakup fresh on her mind seeing him walk away from her, bringing it all back. Oh, how she wishes things were different. 

She doesn't regret leaving for New York, but she does wonder if there was a way to have made their relationship work; would it have survived or crashed and burned. 

In a way, she's glad she never had to find out. 

Y/N puts her brave face on; she's surrounded by friends who love her and who she hasn't spoken to for longer than half an hour. She's going to soak in this time and enjoy it. 

There are other times to be sad.

MARCH 1990 - ACCEPTANCES

Y/N and Harry were both lost in thought as Harry drove them to their destination. There was a lot to think about

Harry was proud to get a full-ride football scholarship to UCLA and a partial for USC. They were close to home, and he got to play a sport he was good at. These universities were tough to get into, but he impressed the recruits. He didn't bother applying outside the state, knowing he couldn't be far from home. It felt wrong for him; he knew that wasn't the case for Y/N. 

Y/N always spoke about leaving the state. She had dreamed about it from a young age especially seeing her brother do it. Gabriel's stories only make her more excited for her future. She loved to travel, no matter the distance. 

Harry, of course, knew this; he just thought he could convince her to stay. 

Applying to schools was hard for Y/N; there were many universities she wanted to apply to, but she feared rejection, so she set a limit of six. Still, a high number; she just needed options. 

When acceptances came in, each application welcomed her. Two east coast universities offered full-ride scholarships, USC offered partial and others only half. She had the money for tuition, her parents saved for her, which she is forever thankful for but knowing she could move across the country like she always dreamed of was calling her name. 

The one thing that stopped her was Harry. 

Y/N had never known love until Harry, and she knows her leaving will jeopardize that. She also knows if she stays, she might not be happy, always stuck on the "what if?"

She was distraught as soon as she heard the news. Her mom saw her pace outside, then sit, pour herself tea then began the cycle again. Y/N dreamed of Columbia. It was her dream university, and to give that up, but also having to give up Harry, she couldn't pick; she didn't want to. 

Harry parks the car; he drove them to an abandoned cliffside that's full of wildflowers. Y/N didn't rush out of the vehicle as she once would have wanted to feel the cold breeze. Now, she stares ahead, letting the car fill with silence—neither one wanting to be the one to begin the conversation that would change everything.

"Is this the end?" Y/N asks her voice, betraying her, as she feels her throat tighten up.

Harry doesn't answer; he reaches for her hand and holds it tight. 

"It doesn't have to be. I don't want it to be." She's barely holding herself together. Y/N's staring at the side of his head, silently begging for him to meet her gaze. 

"Life isn't always as easy as the last four years have been for us," Harry tells her, finally meeting her eyes. 

"I love you. You know that, right." 

"I know." He whispers. 

Y/N shuts her eyes, repeats the words in her head she hasn't been able to voice out, knowing she's going to be breaking more than one heart right now. 

"I can't stay, Harry." Y/N blinks her tears away, but they come right back, seeing Harry holding back tears. "As much as I want to, as much as I can't let you go. I also can't stay." 

"Don't let me go then." He whispers. He reaches forward, cradling her cheek in his hand. It's the softest touch he's given her. It's as if he's trying to remember how she feels. 

"It's not fair." 

"I don't care." Y/N reaches forward to wipe the tear away that managed to escape. 

"But I do." 

"I don't care." He tries again, Harry can't let her go. She's his life, he's too young to know about forever, but he doesn't want to live a life without her. "I'll go with you."

Y/N lets her tears begin to fall at his words. "No." Her voice firm. "It's over if you leave."

Harry pulls back, hurt by her words but Y/N's just as upset. 

She lets go of her hold on him and hurries out of the car. Harry yells her name, begging her to come back, but she's too busy crying to listen to him. Soon enough, she's surrounded by trees, and there are two trails to follow, but she can't pick; it is faith mocking her in the smallest of ways. Instead, she settles for sitting right in the center on a patch of grass. 

Y/N sits hunched over, crying; that's how Harry finds her. He doesn't say a word. He sits next to her and pulls her into his lap. 

"I'm sorry. So sorry, darling." 

Harry begins to rock her back and forward, letting his tears all as he rests his chin on top of her head. Begins to whisper sweet nothings, just wanting her close. He hates that they are causing each other this hurt. 

Y/N's cries have stopped; she sniffles from time to time. The holds she has on Harry is iron tight as if he'd vanish if she let go for even a second."

"Summer." She whispers, breaking the silence. 

"What?" Harry is not sure what she can mean.

"We have Summer."

"Yeah, we do." 

"We have to let each other go at the end of Summer." Her tone is final.

"Y/N-"

Y/N stops him, "Harry, I'm not letting you give up your dreams for me, and I know you won't let me do the same."

"I can't say goodbye," He confesses. 

"Then we won't. We'll kiss goodnight and pretend like we'll see each other in the morning." 

"That's heartbreaking, love." He chuckles bitterly.

"I love you, Harry Styles." 

"And I love you, my angel." 

Harry is done crying, instead leans in and kisses her like he should have done earlier as soon as he had parked the car. The kiss is fast, not soft like all the kisses he's used to giving her, no he wants her to remember this kiss. He wants her to feel everything he isn't saying. 

I love you. You're mine. You're my best friend. I will love you forever. He wants her to feel it all. 

"Show me you love me." Y/N pulls back breathless, lips plush begging to be kissed again. Harry knows what she's asking, and he's not one to deny her. 

He stands up, confusing her, but he comes prepared. Harry walks for the blanket he dumped a few feet away from them, grabbing it and spreading it out. Y/N is quick to lay back on the soft blanket. It warms her instantly. She smiles, reaching her hand up as Harry leans over her, his bottom half straddling her waist, her hand intertwining in his soft curls. Y/N brings him down for a kiss needing his touch to be close. 

Harry and Y/N are wrapped in their own world, lost in their kiss; it's always been them against the world, but soon they are going to venture off separately. It's something that neither of them wants to wrap their head around, and they won't not until they have to. 

They will enjoy graduation together, hand in hand receiving diplomas. Y/N will deliver a beautiful valedictorian speech. The joint graduation party will be a joy and one they sneak away from to spend watching the moon reflect over the ocean. It's the one place they feel at peace, the sea being a favorite of both of theirs. The Summer will bring endless days out, travels up the coast of California even as far as making it to San Francisco for a trip. There is not a second where they don't spend time together, and their parents understand; it breaks their heart, but it's their future, and all they can do is support them. Their love will only grow this Summer which makes it more heartbreaking when they say goodbye in August.

But none of that matters because, for now, they have each other, and that is enough. 

Harry pulls back, leaning his forehead against hers, their breaths mixing together. 

"I love you." 

"I love you so much; it's not going away just because--" Harry stops, not being able to voice the words out loud. He can't say it, or he'll start crying. 

"I know, dove." She trails her finger up his chest until they right over his heart. Y/N can feel how fast it's beating; it beats for her. "Maybe a day will come where we can be together again, that's if you don't find someone else, which I understand if you do."

"It's not going to happen." 

"You don't know that," She mutters. 

"Hey, I love you. No one is going to love me like you do. I'd be a fool to love someone else." Y/N settles her chin on his chest. She's staring into his eyes, trying to find a hint of a lie, but there is none. There's only love and sadness in his green orbs. 

"I love you too."

Harry sighs; there's not much they can do to brighten the mood. "You know what we can do?"

"What?" 

"Make a summer bucket list. First on my list is to kiss the prettiest girl I know every day." She laughs, making Harry break out in a big grin. "Lucky for you, that happens to be you." He tells her, booping her nose with his index finger.

Y/N laughs; it's only March. She has the rest of Spring and all of Summer to love Harry. To love him with every bone and cell in her body because that last day will come sooner than she likes. 

_____

The end of Summer arrived, and she bid Harry goodnight with a kiss at the door like normal, like he was going to show up tomorrow bright and early for breakfast and kisses, but that wasn't the case. It was goodbye, even though neither of them could admit it. 

Y/N and Harry walked away from each other; they didn't say no contact, but it was like they both silently agreed on it because there was no letters or calls to each other, no visits to each other's homes, no visiting each other parents, at least not in the beginning

The love was there, but life goes on.

JUNE 1998

After a delicious meal and second servings, everyone sits back stuffed. Everyone enjoyed a lovely home-cooked meal with entertaining conversation. Y/N enjoyed watching it happen, not participating much in conversation. She never was that interesting, she felt, always let her friends carry the conversation. She could feel Harry glance at her from time to time, but Y/N still hasn't recovered, knowing that Harry's most prized possession at sixteen was a book she wrote a note in. 

Y/N wonders if he's regretting that now. 

"Have we overstayed our welcome?" Zac asks, taking Y/N's silence as something terrible.

She laughs, shaking her head. "You're fine. I like listening, fascinating conversations going on."

"Come on, share something with us." Zac urges her.

"Uhh… med school has been going well. Have all of the Summer off, might do some sightseeing before going home." 

"Yeah, driving home to Massachusetts instead of taking a plane like a normal person." Sydney winces at the thought, not at all wanting to think about the pit stops she had to make. 

"Maybe not the smartest idea, but I encountered zero troubles; my baby, Twila, runs smoothly." 

"Should get her checked out again before leaving." Harry comments.

Y/N nods. "Dad's been on my ass about that as well, but I've got no rush, especially since all I ever do here is walk around town." 

"Enough car talk, let's talk about the time Zac got his clothes stolen after gym class sophomore year." Sarah sets them off on a never-ending conversation of memories.

As soon as one story is finished, a new one is being shared. Y/N forgot most of these, but as her friends tell them, she feels each memory unlock and surfacing. The conversation goes on forever, with no end in sight because that's how friendship is; it's never-ending. Especially when all they did for four years was hanging out together, creating these memories they now are so fond of. 

It's around seven o'clock, the sun begins to set when everyone decides to head home. She walks them out, giving them hugs and promises of seeing each other again before everyone leaves town. Y/N notices Harry lingering by, but she doesn't say anything.

Y/N waves goodbye to Sarah and Mitch when Harry comes to stand by her. She waits for him to say goodbye, not going to rush him, which is why what he says next surprised her. 

"Do you want help cleaning up?" 

Harry looks shy, asking, and Y/N knows he's about to take it back, so she nods. "That'd be great." 

She walks back in, and Harry follows close behind, making sure to lock the door, just in case. "I'll rinse, and you put it in the dishwasher. Okay?" 

"Okay, yes." 

They begin to work in silence, the only sound of the running water. Y/N wonders if he's going to stay longer or if he's going to leave right after. 

God, she could really go for a glass of wine. 

As Y/N hands him the last plate, she dries her hand with the red dish towel before handing a white one over to Harry, who thanks her quietly. 

She leans back against the counter, debating asking him to stay for a drink or not. Harry catches her staring and smiles, unleashing the dimples. It seems he made the decision for her. 

"Do you want a glass of wine?" Y/N turns around, reaching up for a glass for herself, not wanting to face him just in case he rejects her. 

"Wine sounds great." 

Y/N grabs two stemmed wine glasses and opens the bottle of red wine rather quickly; she's surprised her hands aren't shaking because she's so nervous. She fills both glasses halfway before stepping forward to hand Harry his cup.

"Thank you." 

"No problem." 

Harry takes a sip, humming at the taste. Y/N isn't sure where Zac got the bottle. She's just happy it tastes good. 

"Do you want to sit outside, watch the sunset on the steps?" 

Harry agrees and steps out, holding the door open for her. She sits down, leaving room for Harry. He leaves a small space in between them. 

"I love sunsets, never the same." 

"Same as sunrises." 

"I'm not a morning person as I once was, a bit of a night owl." She shares.

"Oh really, why is that?" 

"I'm not sure." Y/N knows that's a lie; what she wanted to say is because she has no one to wake up to. No one to give morning kisses or morning cuddles. 

"You must still love mornings." 

"I do." He chuckles. "I do three-mile runs each morning." 

"Three!" She gasps. "I'd be tired the entire day; I prefer going on hikes or long walks." 

"Used to it already." 

"Pity, to your partner. Stealing cuddles from them." She mutters, taking a sip of her wine, hoping he didn't hear. 

Harry wants to respond, not sure if she was asking or stating. Oh, how he wishes he could know what she was thinking.

"Didn't know you were interested in medicine, Harry." 

"I wasn't, not until my injury." He rubs his shoulder as if he remembered the pain. "After finding out, I was done for; I just needed something entirely different. My physical therapist spoke about his journey to entering the field. He told me to enter something that captured my attention and something I would never get tired of learning about. It led me to psychiatry. My professors were great guidance." 

"John Hopkins, right?" 

"Yes, the very one." 

"Tough school." 

He laughs out loud, hand on his belly. "You're telling me, miss dean's list each semester. Graduating with highest honors from Harvard." 

"You know me, my head always stuck in a book." 

"Still don't take compliments." 

"Makes me feel weird. I love what I do; I can't wait to start and just learn it all. This sponge I call my brain is ready to absorb it all."

"I'm sure you're going to do amazing." 

"Thank you, Harry. That means a lot." She pats his knee before quickly retracting her hand back into her lap.

"Where is your residency?" Harry looks at her, a frown on his face. "Don't think I asked you." 

"Well, Harvard medical was a dream, and I wasn't ready to say goodbye, so I accepted Massachusetts General. I really love the environment they have in the hospital." She sets her wine glass down, turning her body to look at Harry. She misses the look of shock on his face. "Everyone is so kind--"

"Y/N," He tries, but she continues on.

"I went for a tour, and it was busy and crowded, but they were so kind with the children. When I entered the pediatrics ward, I just knew it's where I had to be."

"Y/N," 

"I already know who I'm going to be working under, and she's--" 

"Love," Harry tries his gaze on her face hoping to get a reaction.

That shuts Y/N right up; it has been a long time since she last heard that term of endearment. 

Her eyes are on Harry; he has her full attention. He can tell she's a bit stunned, but his news is life-changing. "I have my residency at Massachusetts General." 

"You what?" She was not expecting that news. Harry is in the same hospital as her. "Are you saying?" 

"We would have run into each other if we hadn't come home for the time capsule, yes." He answers for her. 

"Fate," she whispers.

Harry nods, eyes shining with tears. That one word was enough for Harry to know she might feel the same. 

He sees Y/N's eyes flicker to his lips, going back to his eyes, then leans in. He does the same, wanting to feel her close more than ever. 

"Y/N, you left the-" Harry and Y/N spring apart, the moment gone started by her mother. "Oh, hello, Harry."

Harry clears his throat, standing up to offer the woman who startled him a hug. "Hello Lorelai, wonderful to see you."

"How's your mother?"

"She's well. Left yesterday to visit my nephews for the weekend." 

"That's nice." 

The three now stand outside together, Y/N rocking back and forth on her heels, not able to standstill. 

"Truly wasn't expecting to see you," Lorelai tells him.

"We were catching up" Harry smiles at Y/N. "We were keeping each other company." 

"Very kind." 

"I should get going; it's late." Feeling as if he overstayed his welcome. 

Lorelai senses the tension a second too late as Harry is saying his goodbyes. "Well, please do stop by before you leave town." 

"Of course." 

"I'll walk you out." Y/N smiles at her mother as she leads Harry out through the side gate, personally wanting to avoid a run-in with her father.

Y/N, true to her word, walks him to his car; he is about to round his car, heading to the driver's seat but stops.

"Y/N?" His voice was shaky.

"Yes, Harry."

"Let's have dinner together." He rushes out in one go.

"Harry…" She pauses, "I--" 

He interrupts her. "Don't tell me you have a--" he trails off, not wanting to say the word.

"Course not." She replies quickly.

"But,"

Y/N takes a deep breath, taking a moment to get her thoughts together. "I won't do this unless this is it. This is the time I'm yours again. For good." 

"You've always been mine." He steps forward, hand reaching out to cup her cheek. She lets out a sigh, feeling a sense of peace take over her body. "Eight years and no one compared. No one ever will." 

"H." He can see the tears in her eyes. 

"I mean it. I've always been in love with you. I will always be in love with you. It will always be you."

Y/N closes the gap between them; they are the closest they have been in eight years. She searches his face for any sign of doubt but finds none. Only sees love in his beautiful emerald eyes.

"I love you." She confesses feeling a weight leave her shoulders as the words leave her mouth for the first time in years. "I never stopped. I will never stop." 

"Sweetest words I have ever heard. Words I want to hear forever." Harry's smile is one she had never seen before; it's wide, and she swears it reaches the sky. His eyes hold a shine they never have before. 

There's one last thing she needs for this moment to be perfect.

"Please kiss me."

"With pleasure." 

She's never dreamed of this moment in fear of it not happening, but it finally is, and Y/N swears she feels the stars aligned just for them. Harry's lips were getting closer, and she felt her heart skip a beat. She parted her lips and felt him washing over like a wave of warmth. She finally felt at home. Her whole body tingled, the feel of his frame leaning on jets as his arms wrapped around her tightly, afraid that she'd disappear. Y/N's fingers slowly moved up Harry's chest until they tangled with the back of his short curls. She tugged, needing more, feeling her legs buckle at the moan Harry let out. 

All she felt was love, and she wanted to feel it forever. Y/N let Harry pull away; he didn't go far, letting his forehead rest on hers. Their breaths mix together. There's a bashful smile on Y/N's face, but this moment feels too good to be true. 

Harry and Y/N stand there wrapped in each other's arms, lost in each other's gaze as if no one else existed and there was no risk of interruption. 

"I'll be here at noon tomorrow, going to take you out if you'll let me." 

"Yes, H. I accept." She kisses him softly two more times before unwrapping herself from him, putting a bit of distance between each other, or they very well would stand there all night kissing. 

"Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow." She confirms 

Harry steals one last kiss, short and sweet, before getting in his car. He sends her a kiss that she pretends to catch and places it over her heart. 

She knows he is blushing even though she can't see it. 

As he drives away from her, all the hurt and pain of not having him washes away. Harry is hers, and she is his. 

All is right. 

Their paths finally crossed again, and this time there would be no final goodbye. 

_____

Harry showed up the day after as promised. Y/N was eagerly waiting, she had felt time go slow when they had been apart, but it's a monumental day because once again, after so many years, Harry and Y/N are finally reunited. 

She waited on the steps of her house like she used to when she was a teen waiting for him to pick her up and take her out on a date. It was bringing back the best memories. Harry parked right in front, and just as he was rounding his car to go meet her, she was in front of jumping in his car.

"Woah!" Harry was fast to react, only stumbling a little put holding her tight. "This is a nice welcome." He teases.

"Can you blame me? I missed you." She tells him, nuzzling her face in his neck. 

"Missed you too, love. Eight years, I've missed you." 

"Don't start, H. Don't want to cry. We're here now." 

"You're right." 

Y/N has Harry set her down; they stand there smiling at each other, taking each other in. 

"Up for a drive?" 

She nods. "Will you drive me to the moon?" 

"Anywhere you want, angel." 

Harry drives them to one place she hasn't visited because of the memory it holds. She's guessing it's because he wants to create new, better ones. 

"It's still beautiful here." She looks out through the window, not wanting to leave the safety of the car. She wants to stay close to Harry. 

Y/N sits in silence with Harry holding each other's hands, allowing each other to just enjoy this time together. The calmness of being loved and feeling loved. She knows there are lots to talk about, but she settles for the quietness for now. 

She's not sure how much time has passed, but she's now facing Harry, and he's toying with the rose ring hanging on her neck.

"Y/N," he whispers; she lifts her gaze from his lilac nails and hums for him to go on. "I have to ask." She lets his words sit in their silence. She knows what he's asking, the same thing running through her mind. 

"No." She frowns. "It felt wrong. I could never-- it was never you." 

Harry can tell she feels sheepish confessing this. 

She chuckles dryly. "I must sound lame; the last person I kissed was you eight years ago."

"No, it's not." He assures her. 

She sighs, "Harry." 

"It was the same for me. My friends tried to set me up multiple times, but it felt like cheating. No one understood." 

"So you haven't…" She trails off. 

"Well acquainted with my hand." He jokes.

She burst out laughing, and seconds later, Harry is as well. Their joyous laugh fills the car but also their hearts. 

"I love you." She breathes out, trying to catch her breath.

"And I love you." 

"Want to know a secret," she asks him.

He nods.

She turns her head to the window; she can see herself and Harry in the reflection. His eyes on her full of adoration. 

"I wrote you letters, hundreds. I've lost count, really, but I've got a box full; they are locked up in mom's attic." Y/N turns, looking back at Harry; there's a soft look on his face. "I wanted to send them, but I couldn't. I didn't want to interfere."

"Darling, that's-" he chokes up, tears escaping him. "Can I read them?" 

Y/N nods, "Of course, they were intended for you after all."

"Will you read them with me?" 

"Sure, if that's what you want." 

"Do you want to know something now?"

Y/N reaches forward and brushes a loose curl back. "Tell me." 

"Each book I've read, I have written a dedication in it for you." 

"What?" She says, surprised. 

"The new bookshelf in mom's living room is filled with books." He waits for her to nod before continuing on. "All books for you."

"Harry," It's her turn to cry now, it seems.

"Thought about you just as much, angel." 

"Do you think we did the right thing, letting each other go?" 

"I do."

"Why?" 

"It brought us together again. Sure it was the time capsule, but there is also Massachusetts." He reminds her.

"Isn't that wild?" She shakes her head in disbelief. "Same residency."

"It was fate, angel. Like you said last night." 

"Yeah, guess fate had a plan, after all, dove." 

Harry chokes up, tears welling up in his eyes. "What did you say?" 

"Fate had a plan."

"After."

"Dove," she breathes out, not even noticing she slipped it in; it came out like second nature. "You're my dove, my kind man, the love of my life." 

Harry grabs her face and connects his lips to hers. It's not soft; it's fast and hot but full of love. She leaned back, feeling the heat in her cheeks. Harry chases her lips, not finished yet. She lets him kiss her as he pressed soft pecks on her lips, liking the feel of her soft lips. 

"Is it too soon to ask to marry you?" Harry asks, trailing kisses down her neck. 

"No, never too soon." She giggles as he kisses a soft spot right under her jaw. "If I recall, I asked you one too many times during high school." 

Harry chuckles, nodding. "Should have accepted sooner." 

She looks at him, not being able to contain her laughter, knowing very well he should have.

"Marry me." He asks, all traces of laughter gone. He holds his breath, waiting for a response. 

"Yes, of course, dove." 

Harry seals it with a kiss. She accepted, and yes, it may seem rushed, but they aren't getting any younger. Their love was put on hold, and now because the time is right, they get to pick up as if no time passed at all. 

They are different people, but Harry and Y/N have only become more perfect for one another. 

2000 DECEMBER - MASSACHUSETTS 

Her eyes snap open, and she quickly sits up, throwing the blanket off herself feeling hot and unfocused, startling Harry making him drop the Pop-Tart he was eating to fall on his chest. 

She looks back at Harry, sitting up with crumbs covering his mouth and half-eaten brown sugar cinnamon sitting on top of his black sweats. 

Y/N can't help but laugh at the sight in front of her, her nightmare now pushed aside. 

"You're laughing." He pouts. "You gave me a proper scare." 

She frowns, "I had a bad dream." 

"Yeah, want to talk about it?" 

She shakes her head no, instead asking him an important question. "Why are you eating Pop-Tarts in bed?" She picks up the broken half and takes a bite, appreciating the strong cinnamon flavor. 

"I got hungry, but I didn't want to leave you alone, and honestly, I'd never willingly leave your cuddles." 

"Did you bring me my own?" She mutters, swallowing the last piece of his.

"Why, of course, I'm no monster." 

"What time are you going in today?" She asks as she opens up the package handing him half since she ate his. He happily accepts. 

"Noon." 

She glances at the alarm clock and sees it is only nine am. She mumbles an 'okay,' settling herself to lay her head on his chest. 

"How are you spending your day off?" His hand running through her hair, always wanting to be touching her in some way.

"In bed." 

Harry doesn't like that. "Still feeling sick." He states.

"Yes, but I'm fine." 

"Okay, but we do work in a hospital." He playfully reminds her.

She lets out a deep sigh. "I'll have Annie check on me tomorrow." 

"Thank you." He kisses her temple, definitely leaving crumbs of food behind.

"I love you, Harry." 

"I love you too." 

Y/N and Harry had come a long way from the Summer of 98'. They got back together and were excited to start the next chapter of their lives together. Their families were thrilled at the news of them getting back together and even happier when they learned about their shared residency location. 

That Summer led them to where they are now; two years into their residency programs and one year into marriage. 

Harry could not wait; he had wanted to take her to city hall for a quick signature but knew she deserved better. They were wed in the botanical garden under the beautiful flower arch she dreamed of. It was the wedding she always dreamed of; it was small and beautiful. Only their closest friends and family were in attendance. Their wedding photo; Harry gazing at her as if she put all the stars in the sky and Y/N smiling at the camera. It sits framed on Y/N's bedside. He decided it went there, so when he turns to look over at her, he sees all of her beauty laid out for him and the happiest day of his life. 

Harry had fought her on changing her last name, wanting her to be called Doctor Y/LN because she worked for it and was a man who wanted his wife to shine and do all she set her mind to. Harry went as far as suggesting hyphenating but still no. She changed her last name to 'Styles.' Y/N told him she spent years dreaming about it in high school, even years later when he wasn't by her side. It's an honor to share his last name because one day, their future children would as well. 

Y/N has a year left in her pediatrics residency, and Harry has two years to go. She has her fellowship to think about, which will add three more years; her focus on Critical Care Medicine. Harry has decided on Addiction Psychiatry which is only a year-long, but he's got his last two years to worry about first. 

Life has been going well, they've had their fair share of arguments but nothing they can't fix. Harry can't say he doesn't love making up; it always leads to a good time.

They didn't know what life had in store for him but looking around at the photos they have hanging up, a picture of Mitch and Sarah's little boy Nathaniel who only gets bigger every time they see him. A photo of Sydney showing off her engagement ring, face full of tears but smile large; Zac off traveling the country smiling in his picture of him visiting the Grand Canyon part of his trip to visit each National Park and document his journey. 

This group of six friends is living their dreams; at sixteen, none of them know what life would be like twelve years down the road, but if it wasn't for each of them having this friendship and deciding to bury a time capsule, they might not be where they are right not; happier and more in love than ever. 

Harry and Y/N are filled with love and know life couldn't be better than it is; incredibly grateful to be in love and be loved back just the same. 

Little do they know their love will soon have to be shared.

_____

Thank you so much for reading! 

I love you and I hope you loved this story <3

[deafgaynerd]

what happens after dinner

Malcolm and Edrisa attend family dinner for the first time as an official couple.

(written for @brighttanaka)

check it out on ao3

Malcolm Bright walked into the Major Crimes meeting room to clean up their most recent case board. He had caught their killer by doing what he does best, going just far enough into danger that he succeeds (while also making everyone else worry) but not far enough to die. He organized everything into case files to put into storage. The Major Crimes team filed into the room for a debrief. 

Gil Arroyo, Dani Powell, and JT Tarmel joined Malcolm in the room. They didn’t sit down, instead electing to stand around the table as all attention turned to Gil. He went over assignments for paperwork, gave out praise for closing the case and thanked Malcolm for joining them. He did this after every case, thanking Malcolm for his work as if he was unaware that Malcolm was always, constantly itching to work on a new case, to solve a new murder. Gil made sure each case ended in a way that if Malcolm ever had to stop consulting, heaven forbid, his last case ended well and he was in good standing with each person on the team. That, and he knew that someone needed to praise Malcolm for being as smart as he was. Many people just expected him to be smart, they didn’t feel the need to congratulate him or tell him that whatever he did for the case was helpful and productive. Malcolm needed this occasionally though, and since Gil knew this, he made it a part of their case-ending routine.

Gil ended the meeting with a promise to see them all at family dinner and sent them all to their respective partners. Bright is the last to walk towards the door before he’s summoned back to talk with his surrogate dad.

“I know this is Edrisa’s first family dinner as your girlfriend, but make sure she knows that she doesn’t have to act any different than she is. We all know her, and we love her for who she is, she doesn’t have to impress us by being someone else,” Gil told Malcolm as he picked up the file box and walked towards the door.

“You do know that I can’t make Edrisa do anything, right?” Malcolm reminds the lieutenant. “I will remind her, though. If only to help reassure her. Dinner’s at 7:30 right?”

“Yeah, but you know your mother, you better-” Gil began.

“-Get there by 6:30, I know. Thanks, Gil. I’m going to go see if Edrisa is ready now. See you later.” Malcolm left Gil to put up the case file in the records room. 

Malcolm made his way to his girlfriend’s office a few levels down. His new romantic partner was the medical examiner for this NYPD precinct, Edrisa Tanaka. Edrisa had an eccentric personality that Malcolm had been drawn to ever since he started consulting for Gil. They had so much in common and were constantly in awe of each other’s intellect. They understood each other very well and were nearly perfectly in sync, saving each other from dangerous things at crime scenes, and just being able to brainstorm about cases together. 

Of course, Malcolm and Edrisa had things in common other than work. They were both interested in the same type of things, between human anatomy, ancient weaponry, and classic stories, among other things, they curated a wonderful friendship that blossomed to a romantic one. Malcolm was always worried that with everything that he deals with, he would overwhelm Edrisa, but she reassures him this isn’t the case, whenever he needs to hear it. 

Edrisa and Malcolm fit each other well, so well, in fact, that Edrisa says “Hi Bright!” before Malcolm has pulled his second foot across the threshold of the morgue. He smiled and walked the rest of the way to his girlfriend. “I figured you would be done soon,” she revealed. “I knew you finished the case, and Gil’s speeches tend to be around the same length each time.”

Malcolm smiled at her, nodding. “Are you ready to head home to get dressed for dinner at the Whitly House, Ris?” He asked, moving directly in front of her to capture her attention.

“I just have to finish filling out today’s paperwork on this autopsy, it should only take a few minutes.” Edrisa told him, smiling. She then proceeded to explain what she had found out in this autopsy, a case Bright was not assigned to, and Malcolm listened intently, fascinated by not only her findings, but the passion with which she talked about her cases. Once Edrisa had finished, Malcolm helped her gather her things and they headed to the car. 

When they got home, Edrisa held up two outfits. “Which one do you think would go over the best with your family?” She asked. “Ainsley helped me pick out some clothes that would look appropriate for your mother, which one do you think I should wear? I don’t want to wear something that would upset Jessica Whitly, ” 

Malcolm studied the two outfits. One was a knee-length, emerald dress. The other was a navy blue suit with a lighter blue patterned shirt underneath. “I think you should go with the suit, it feels more “Edrisa.” Besides, my mother loves you already, Everyone who will be there loves you already. This will go fine, I promise.” 

She nodded and left to change. “I know that I already know everyone, Malcolm, but this time it’s different. This time we’re going as a couple.”

“Edrisa, it’s just our friends and my family. You got this. We’ve got this. I’ll be right by your side the whole time.” Malcolm reassured her. She walked out and he couldn’t help but stare. She looked gorgeous. “Wow, Ris, you look amazing.” He got up and walked over to her, grabbing her hands and looking into her eyes. “We got this.” He said again.

“We got this,” Edrisa repeated.

The pair arrived at the Whitly House at 6:30 on the dot. Gil was already there, of course. So were Ainsley and Dani, since Ainsley had decided to live at home again to help out their mom and Dani coming over to visit her girlfriend before dinner. The only couple missing were the Tarmels. They started joining family dinners when Dani and Ainsley got together, because it didn’t feel right to have 3/4 of the team at dinner. They also invited Edrisa, before she and Bright had gotten together, and she had been participating. It had been a few weeks since Malcolm and Edrisa became a couple, but Edrisa had been busy for the past few family dinners. This was their very first one as an official couple.

At 6:45, JT and Tally came in, sheepishly. “We’re sorry, Jessica, the babysitter was late.” JT informed the night’s hostess. “We made dessert though. We brought brownies.”

“Who is this “we” you speak of, JT Tarmel.” Tally scolded, making Jessica laugh. Gil took the tray of brownies from JT and put them in the kitchen. 

“Now that we’re all here, let’s have a drink and prepare for dinner,” Jessica announced. 

At 7:30, the group sat down at the dinner table as the waiter brought out their dishes. They ate peacefully for a while, making small talk with the people around them. It was nice, getting to catch up with all their friends outside of work. They made sure to have family dinner at least once a week, because Jessica wanted to know what was happening with her children. All of them, which now included JT and Tally. 

“Edrisa, I hope Malcolm is treating you well,” Jessica said loud enough that everyone can hear. “I taught him better than to treat you poorly.” 

“Oh! Ma’am, Malcolm is wonderful. He’s so attentive, he’s kind, he’s sweet, he doesn’t leave a girl hanging, if you know what I mean,” Edrisa says, smiling at Malcolm who, all of a sudden, has a look of panic on his face. Most people can’t tell, but Edrisa has noticed. “He’s very thoughtful,” Edrisa continued, “and he loves me, too, even if he doesn’t know it yet.” She looked at Jessica with that statement and Jessica couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’m sure he does,” she responded before going back to talking with Gil. No doubt, they’re discussing how all of their kids ended up dating each other. Or, something about how they ended up here. They’re sentimental like that during family dinners. 

After dinner and dessert, the couples broke off, heading to their own places. Edrisa and Malcolm went back to Malcolm’s place, where Edrisa always stayed over the weekend. They crawled into bed, Edrisa reading Dracula, sitting up against the headboard, and Malcolm scrolling on his phone, reading over a new psychological research paper. Edrisa has a favorite out of Malcolm’s clothes to wear, his old Harvard sweatshirt. No matter how many times it gets washed, it always smelled like Bright, and it was the warmest and coziest out of all of his tops, and he knew to leave it ready for her when they came home for the weekend. 

After finishing his article, Malcolm rolled over to lean against Edrisa. “Are you done yet, Ris?” He asked her. She looked down and smiled, before lifting her arms up to let him lay on her more. 

“I am not done reading yet, no. I’ll tell you when I am.” She responds to him. Malcolm takes the invitation and lays his head on her shoulder while she reads. He wraps his arms around her torso while she brings her hands back down, using his back as a resting place for the book and running the other hand through his hair. She knew that the best way for him to not have nightmares was for him to be holding onto her, and she knew that dealing with his family always exhausted him and he could use the rest. 

Malcolm eventually fell asleep cuddling her while Edrisa finished rereading her book. She turned off the light and moved just enough so that she's laying down with him. She fell asleep in his arms and it’s the best sleep either of them has had in a while. 

[tinacentury]

Fanfiction Year in Review

@kasienda tagged me in this and I’ve been holding off on doing it because I thought there was a chance I’d get the next chapter of 5 Years out before the end of the year...but, I am still me, so it looks like that’s gonna be a 2021 thing.

Anyway, 2020 was...2020. Sometimes I still feel like it’s the middle of the spring exchange, which I started writing for during the first week of March. Since then, I’ve gotten to know some people in the fandom better, participated in some incredibly entertaining Zoom game nights, played fandom historian (thanks again to @mesomondstein and @floraone for inviting me to Mondsteinflug, and thanks x a million to everyone who shared their experiences with me for that), got to go back to the O&D universe for my birthday courtesy of the lovely @uglygreenjacket, wrote my first smut, had to set some personal boundaries around social media for my mental health and my dissertation that affected some of the ways I participate in the fandom, and have been slowly chipping away at a story that’s been in my head since 2019 and learning to get comfortable with my own pace with it. Finally, I would be remiss if I didn’t thank my wonderful friend and beta @kasienda for all of her edits and support this year; you’re amazing, dude!

List of Fics Completed this Year (In the order they were finished)

-Belonging

-Rose Chair Writing Prompt (I see that I did not give this a title)

-Lemonade Stand: Power Play

Number of Words Written

21,237 (per ff.net). This is actually slightly more than 2019, which I’m surprised and happy about

Your Most Popular Fic

Belonging. People really are all about those multi-chapters, huh?

Your Personal Fave

5 Years. This one’s my baby.

You Fav Scene

Two contenders here:

-the Skype at the senshi meeting scene in Belonging

-Serenity and Endymion in the rose garden in 5 Years

A Fic or Scene that Challenged You

Y’all haven’t read this yet, but there are a couple of scenes in 5 Years with the shittenou that I’m struggling with. Honorable mention to the second half of Belonging for being written in March of 2020.

A Line of Writing You’re Proud Of

Sooo I technically wrote this in 2019, but since I didn’t post it until this year, it’s fair game (from 5 Years):

She hadn't counted on the kindness that radiated from his midnight blue eyes as he knelt before her and kissed her signet ring, his gentle touch triggering a waterfall of goosebumps that traveled up her arms and down her back.

She hadn't counted on the strong sculpt of his jaw, how his sooty eyelashes contrasted with his smooth ivory skin, or the way his elegant fingers reached up to push his ebony hair out of his face.

A Comment that Touched You

I opened up in one of my Belonging AN’s about how I tend to take the “Mamoru is so selfish for going to Harvard” argument personally because I was in a long-distance relationship for a few years because of my education, and a bunch of people wrote to me about their long-distance experiences with their partners or how they studied abroad and married the person they were dating at the time later and sharing that meant a lot to me! And btw, he lives here now.

Something that Inspired Your Writing

Taylor Swift’s indie-esque turn.

Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):

Blanket answer here is just getting through 2020.

Do You Have Any Writing Goals for Next Year?

I do intend to finish a dissertation 😅. But seriously, fic-wise, I want to finish 5 Years and then we’ll see what happens after that.

Thanks for a lovely year!

[nettworkk]

Showcase Your True Potential: How skill sharing can shape thousands of lives

Joe Yakeen Vinitha | Mentor & Business Coach

The first time I heard the word ‘trading-positions’ was during one of my mastermind sessions with enthusiastic entrepreneurs. One of the participants gave an example which used this word and I was like what… But I did not forget to learn that from her and now I do trading!

 While doing all the research, tips & trick of trading, I realized I was becoming a part of a much larger, much more humane community of sharing skills with anybody who wanted to learn just in an attempt to make their lives better. In a way to connect people through their interests on a similar ground, the difference being one person is already adept at the particular field and the others just interested to learn.

To be honest, the concept of sharing skills is not something alien. We have all grown up with it. Take every mother who has taught her child to cook or every father who helped his kid with their homework. Thanks to the internet, skill sharing has become even more popular, allowing people to connect online and benefit from a person and their skillset even though they are physically miles apart.

 As Moses de Maimon, a Jewish philosopher, better known as Maimonides, says: “Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish, you feed him for a lifetime.”

 Here's some more information on how skill sharing works, and most importantly, how it can benefit you, your career, and most importantly, the not so privileged.

 WHAT IS SKILL SHARING?

Skill sharing to put it in absolute layman terms is when people share their skills with others. While it can happen in a formal setting – like a classroom – it can also occur casually at meetups, community centres, and even in people's homes.

 For example, if you may be a freelance graphic designer who wants to learn social media marketing, you can agree to exchange design lessons for a tutorial in an online marketing strategy. Or, if you are a project manager looking to increase your web knowledge, you might take an online or in-person coding course.

WHY YOU NEED SKILL SHARING IN THE FIRST PLACE?

 Every person possesses a separate skill set which makes him unique. But the power of it is not keeping it confined, it's in sharing it. Call that friend who is weak in your favourite subject and help him out. Skill sharing is how we grow stronger as a team.

 It is said the strength of your team is the strength of its weakest person. So why not help them grow? There is only so much we can grow as individuals. Every sector in our lives we need a team to grow. Starting from our family, our primary and secondary education to our peer group and work life. Whether formal or informal, any successful project, be it big or small, has one thing at its core: effective collaboration,   and   you   cannot   achieve   that without knowledge sharing.

 “In our research on knowledge transfer, we have seen companies greatly disadvantaged, if not crippled, by knowledge loss. Certainly, some expert knowledge may be outdated or irrelevant by the time its possessors are eligible for retirement, but not the skills, know-how, and capabilities that underlie critical operations — both routine and innovative. Organizations cannot afford to lose these deep smarts” says Dorothy Leonard, the William J. Abernathy Professor of Business Administration Emerita at Harvard Business School.

 Here are 10 BENEFITS that you can get from sharing your knowledge:

 1.  It helps you grow

As Claudio Fernández-Aráoz put it, “The question is not whether your company’s employees and leaders have the right skills; it’s whether they have the potential to learn new ones”. We can only accomplish a certain number of goals with a limited skill set. But once we start learning new skills the opportunities for us are endless. They say you could learn something from everybody in your life. Let us make sure we actually do!

2.  It helps you stay motivated

Even among peers, skill sharing can play an important role to motivate you to get better at your skills and try to acquire new ones. Seeing your peers showcase their skills pushes you forward in healthy competition as well as a team effort for all of you to develop on your skills. We are all achievers on the inside. Sharing knowledge practices pushes you to become better at what you do while driving you at the same time to contribute with your own insights.

 3.Getting top talent access

“If you’re the smartest person in the room, then you’re in the wrong room” the saying goes. Knowledge sharing helps you get feedback and help with your projects from those more skilled or with a different set of competences. You can always reach out to your peers – you’ll be amazed at what they can teach you in no time. Not to mention the access to upper management expertise!

4.Recognition

So many recent studies underline the importance of recognition at work – it is one of the most powerful motivators and will highly contribute to both employee retention and engagement. Sharing your knowledge with others will give your talents more exposure, thus giving the people you interact with the opportunity to identify you as a valuable expert. Helping others can help you build your reputation. And that is a valuable asset!

    5.Generating new ideas

They say two heads think better than one. When different skills and experiences collide, eye- opening ideas and solutions emerge. The creative energy of brainstorming can generate faster and more relevant solutions to your current assignments, supporting you in successfully achieving your tasks. Tribal knowledge FTW!

6.Future leaders’ discovery

Sharing knowledge can be a great tool for everyone to PR themselves. All you need to do is to be permanently connected to the hot business topics and offer your expertise every time you can. When people are open to prove their value through their competence, it’s easier to notice the ones likely to organize people and to take initiative. The leaders of tomorrow are among those.

7.Limiting the skill gap

Your team is as strong as its weakest member. By sharing knowledge and talking about certain decisions and procedures, the new guys or juniors could easily acquire new sets of skills. Create an environment where everybody is encouraged to ask questions and help professionals in all your locations and job positions stay updated with the latest information in their field.

      8.Team cementing and silo breaking

Working as a team gives employees a sense of belonging. When employees, teams, and leaders share ideas and resources with each other, the feeling that they pursue a common goal becomes authentic. The feeling of being part of a functional and collaborative team boosts enthusiasm and empowers everyone to exchange knowledge, breaking down the silo mentality. This boosts employee morale and increases their work efficiency.

 9.Sense of purpose

There is a thin line between employees “sort of doing stuff” and those that have a sense of purpose. By creating an environment where people feel like their knowledge makes a difference, they will clearly see how their work fits in the bigger mission of the organization. Work without purpose is no work at all.

10.Operational efficiency

That is perhaps the most important thing. Sharing knowledge increases the productivity of your team. You can work faster and smarter, as you get easier access to the internal resources and expertise within your organization. Projects don’t get delayed; people swimmingly get the information they need in order to do their jobs and your business fills the bill.

The “Knowledge is Power” adage is long dead as the new reality of the workforce has taught us that sharing knowledge is beneficial to everybody.

Moving one step ahead, I wonder how exciting it would be if we could also earn from our multiple skills!

HOW TO DO THIS AS AN INDIVIDUAL?

Helping others should be a natural extension of every capable individual’s responsibilities. Unfortunately, it does not come as easy as you would think. As privileged and able people, we often get too caught up in operations or our own problems to give people the help they need. However, in the last year, I’ve realized that most of my best clients, partners, and relationships have come from me helping someone for free and for a cost when required.

So how does someone share their multiple skills to the world? We’re all busy with our day-to- day lives, earning a living and eking an existence on Planet Earth.

But if you are willing, there is always some way. Helping others by sharing my multiple skills is something that brings me immense joy; hence I have shared 7 broad services which you can share with the world for free and for a cost:

    1.Professional services (Consultants, Engineers, Marketers, Chefs etc.,)

There are professional service providers as a company, but we are focusing of individuals who have these skills to offer these services. May be, you are in job offering these services, still you would want the world to know your skills for others to connect with you to receive those services form you.

 This is where a mobile app like nettworkk would help!.

 2.Home repair (carpenters, Roofers, Electricians, etc.,)

 In this ‘aggregators’ age, we have aggregators most services including food, taxi, products(amazon.com) and home repair services. Though these app provide customers with more options to choose from, the huge commission these aggregators take from the service providers really hits big on them.

 An app like nettworkk connects customers directly to you instead of them coming through aggregators.

 3.Software Services (Product managers, Solution architects, Developers. Testers etc.,)

Most of the college student eye a software job during college. Hope you agree. If you are trained in the latest software and aptitude skills, there are more chances of you getting through the campus interviews. So, there is always a huge availability of software professionals, testers and currently product managers. Interestingly, there are professionals with multiple skills, say., they are proficient in Java platform, cloud architecture as well as in big data. But they can’t be handling projects in all of them. They could only go by what their company project demands.

 It would be great if they could have a platform like nettworkk which could help them connect with people who are looking for people with these skills to offer projects.

4.Creative services (Writers, Graphic Designers, etc.,)

 It takes real skills and talent to master creative skills. Most people get into these services with seer love and passion for arts. They love colours, literature, imagination, and a sense of WOW in their work.

The speciality of creativity is that it is the basis of all innovation. Creative services need not be limited to arts but could be applied to almost any work including Engineering, Carpentry, Education... you name it!

5.  Personal care (hair stylists, massage therapists, etc.,)

Personal care services have always been close to individuals as we visit at least one personal care service in a month. Especially, working men and women. These services are always in demand and people who provide these services do it with love and care.

As they work physically close to the clients, they develop a sense of connect and client look to a particular service person if they get used to their service.

6.Health care (Doctors, Physio therapists, Nurses etc.,)

If these is a service which requires more inter connectivity with the community is Health care. As there are multiple disciplines in health care including various speciality Doctors, Physio therapists, Nurses, and various lab technicians, they all must be connected to refer the patients to the right specialists.

7.Coaching Services (Online coaching, Private tuition, Sports & Games etc.,)

The most steadily growing industry is the online coaching industry. Due to layoffs and insecure job environment, most of the professionals turn to online coaching to get themselves updated with the latest technologies, strategies, and other required skills.

Here I remember these famous words by American evangelist, Billy Graham who says: “We’re not cisterns made for hoarding. We’re channels made for sharing.” Obviously, what good is any skill if someone decides on hoarding it? The skill would die along with the person that hoards it and is not able to be passed on generation to generation.

Coaching service including sports & games have always been sort after wherever one needed expert guidance. Someone whom to they can go-to for re-evaluating themselves and fine tune their existing skills or learn new skills.

WHERE DOES NETTWORKK COME IN ALL THIS?

NETTWORKK provides you with a platform to share, showcase, and adapt skills with as ease as our day to day social media affairs. The steps for this are easy, create a profile, mention all the skills you can offer for free and for a cost and wanted services for free and for a cost.

NETTWORKK provides an easy connecting ground for people of all strata and ages to bond with each other based on their skills offered and wanted. And you get matched right on your mobile. No more advertisements in classifieds and social media ads!

Say., if you are software developer working in a software company, you are mostly like to introduce yourself as a software professional. What if you have multiple skills which you could offer for a cost. Say., you are also a competent chess player and you are willing to provide online chess training to people who are interested. You might not have thought about providing this service unless someone pokes you related to chess.

That is where a platform like nettworkk becomes essential. You can also offer free services, say., you are passionate about playing a music instrument, but not keen earning from it. You might keep you instrument playing passion live by teaching people for free or playing for free. Just to keep that passion… LIVE!

The most exciting feature of this nettworkk is that you can add as many as 10 skills which you can offer for a cost and 10 different skills which you can offer for free! Sounds exciting?

Start communicating and showcasing what you are good at, share it with the world and make a difference while you earn extra income!

[artemismoon12writes]

Title: Gotta Get ‘Em While They’re Down

Daltonfic Big Bang 2020: Week 3, Day 3, Wevid 

Based off @hufflebecks‘s Motorbike Bros concept & the Weebly Fact: “Wes got into a motorcycle accident once- it was an attempted hit and run.” 

David spent most nights studying these days. Between checking in on Katherine’s recovery, beating Siegerson’s GPA, and his extra-curriculars, he couldn’t really participate in Windsor shenanigans anymore. It made him sad to see his housemates off having fun, but it was Senior Year, he couldn’t mess around.

What hurt him the most was that even in his studying blitzes before, he had Wes by his side as a good natured distraction. They’d bounce ideas off each other, throw trivia, and toss ideas for editing notes. Now? Wes had early acceptance to ASA College, and David was still trying to get Harvard, Yale, and Princeton to respond to his letters. But that’s what David got for shooting high he guessed.

Now, whenever he saw Wes, his best friend would wave in passing before heading out with his motorbike club. Yeah, they hung out on weekends, but it still felt like he was being replaced. Why did Wes even own a motorbike? Yeah his dad had taught him to ride a vespa on family trips to Naples, but they lived in Ohio right now- it wasn’t exactly cosmopolitan.

David sighed, he shouldn’t be so harsh. Maybe it was good they spend time apart; after all, they wouldn’t be going to the same college, let along even in the same part of the country. It stung though. He missed his friend. If only he wasn’t so busy.

Buzz buzz. David’s cellphone went off from its spot on the shelf. He’d put it away to limit distractions. Why wasn’t it off? Oh, wait, all calls except his parents, Katherine, and Wes were sent to voicemail.

He stood up, reaching and unplugging his phone. The caller ID said Wes.

“Hello?” David asked. He checked the time. It was 10pm, why was Wes calling him now? He was supposed to stay at the Blakes after their day of riding. Maybe he needed a ride back? Typical of the Day Students to just assume boarders could sleep wherever because they typically had two homes.

“David? It’s David right?” A girl answered.

“Who is this?” Was this a new girlfriend? Had Wes not told him? He felt his heart sink. Wouldn’t have Wes told him.

“Jackie Blake. We’re at the hospital with Wes.”

No.

“What!” He didn’t even ask, just exclaimed; jumping up out of his seat and looking for his car keys. “Is he hurt? Which hospital? How far is it from Dalton?”

She sounded relieved. “We’re at Mansfield Hospital, it’s an hour north from where you are. I’m glad you picked up. Todd said you’re the only one who’d have his parent’s numbers.”

“Is he okay?” David repeated, throwing his coat on as he struggled to keep his phone to his ear.

“Yes and no.” Jackie’s tone was more cautious this time. “We were on our way back from the ride when a pickup truck decided they’d cut our lead on the pack; Wes’d decided to set the pace, and I guess? They just didn’t like motorbikes?”

David swallowed. A third time: “Is he…?”

“We need his parent’s permission to get him into surgery. They think a rib punctured his lung when he was knocked off the road.” Jackie’s voice stuttered. “They just kept going. Like they hadn’t throw him across the freeway.”

“Surgery?” David swore to himself. He knew the motorcycle club was a bad idea. Shit. Wes’ parents would die of heartbreak if this was how their boy went out. “I’ll text you their numbers. But, introduce yourself first. They need to know who’s telling them Wes is hurt.”

“Okay…” Jackie said slowly. There was a ping from her end of the phone as David sent it. He was at his car now, ready to hang up and put in the directions to Mansfield.

She spoke again, quieter. “I’m sorry we didn’t get the licence plate. Colby stopped us all and had us put out flares so we could get him off the road. Dustin wanted to chase after them but-”

“Don’t worry.” David said, “just tell his parents. It will all be okay.”

“Okay.” She said quietly.

“I’m getting in the car now. I’ll talk to you soon.” David said, hanging up before she could say something else that would make him madder at the situation.

It wasn’t Jackie Blake’s fault. It wasn’t her brother Colby’s fault. Most of the Motorcycle Bros (as they called themselves) were fairly good people from what Wes described to him. It didn’t mean he couldn’t feel guilty he let Wes go out there. He’d already seen Katherine in the hospital because of one foolish driver; to see Wes? A target of a hit and run because of some stupidity about bikers? No. He didn’t want to accept it.

The road opened up before him, darkening fast in the early evening sunset. The lights were coming on one by one, making the road feel quieter than it was. He didn’t want to play the radio in case he got a call from Wes’ phone again, or from the Hughes, or anyone. He had to stay alert in case speakerphone went on.

It didn’t though. He made it to the hospital, probably passing the place the driver ran Wes off the road. He didn’t want to think about it, but he was.

David found the front desk, trying to look presentable, and not like he’d just sped an hour up the I-71. He approached the desk, ready to ask about a Hughes, Wes please- but a familiar face caught him by the arm.

“Hey, David. Are you alright?” Todd asked, still wearing the ridiculous jacket Wes commissioned for their little club. It was scuffed, covered in mud, but the smear of brown against Todd’s gloves made David swallow any jealousy he felt.

“I’m fine.” Of course he was. He wasn’t the one in hospital.

“He’s still in surgery, but the hospital isn’t busy tonight so they let us into the cafeteria even though its closed. We’re waiting for someone from the Hughes to show up; they said it will still eb a couple hours, but I guess,” Todd paused. He was leaning David off the entrance, presumably towards the sitting area. “None of us could just go home. Not, well… his motorcycle is still in the ditch and, it wouldn’t feel right riding without him.”

“This wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t gone out with you guys.” David found himself saying bitterly.

Todd eyed him. He didn’t say anything for a moment; their footsteps echoing in the empty hallway. “I’m sorry you feel this way. But statistically, you know without us this just would have happened sooner.”

“You guys make it easy with your little bike gang.” David said, fiddling with the keys in his pocket. Wes was in surgery, and he was out here, chatting. It didn’t feel right. There had to be something he could do.

“Wes can have more than two groups of friends.” Todd said quietly, checking the door before opening it. “But now is not the time to fight. Sadie and Colby know more about the medical situation because they had to relay information to the doctors and the Hughes. We all care about Wes, but think about it- only you have his parent’s number. Don’t be mean because he’s not devoting his life to you.”

David kept quiet, the door opened to the large hospital cafeteria. The whole group was there, sans Wes. Some still had their jackets on; others like honorary member Casey Lambert, had taken it off in a haze of frantic pacing. Colby, Dustin, and Jackie were whispering between each other, while Sadie comforted a crying Allison.

“It’s okay, he’ll be fine.” Sadie said, loud enough for David to hear as they came in. She was holding Allison against her chest. David had seen Allison enough in passing while visiting Katherine at Royal to know she was a loud, confident girl. She didn’t seem like the type who cried much.

“I- I was supposed to ride with him. This is my fault.” Allison cried, sniffing between words into Sadie’s t-shirt. “Maybe he wouldn’t have been hit if I was on the back of his b-b-bike.”

Sadie petted her hair, “Allie, honey, you know he would have just sped faster. You two are speed demons. Shh, shh, this is no one’s fault except that evil truck who hit him.”

“I should have go-gotten the plate, or I could have-”

“Allie, honey don’t do that. No, no. Come on sweetie.” Sadie said, holding her tighter. “We’ll be back on the road soon, don’t worry. He’ll get out of surgery and everything will be fine.”

Sadie looked up, meeting David’s eyes. She pressed her mouth together and averted her gaze. Colby noticed the company Todd brought and got up quickly. He dodged around the table to hold his hand out to David, an awkward greeting.

“Hey, I’m sorry we gotta meet all proper like this- but, uh, I’m Colby from Lancaster?”

“I know who you are.” David said quickly. “Todd said you know what’s going on with Wes?”

Colby scratched the back of his neck nervously, “Yeah, uh. Shit. I. Okay. So his parents okayed the surgery, after that I was cut out of the conversation because of confidentiality; but before that I saw the whole thing. Fucking car comes out of the left lane, clips Wes’ wheel and sends him into the ditch. It was mostly a skid, but he flipped once so between the road burn and the fall I think he’s got a broken leg, a couple ribs, and like… there was a lot of blood along his whole? Side? I guess?”

Todd nodded, “Yeah his side. We’re usually in full protective gear, so if anything his face is the one thing that’s fine. The chin strap didn’t budge thank any gods who were listening. But, well, padding only does so much against gravel.”

“The doctors say he should be fine. But its his lung they’re worried about. He’s got two, but like? Internal bleeding… fuck.” Colby didn’t seem to know how to order his thoughts. “It was deliberate. And, his parents said something weird, like, ‘we’ll take care of it’, like they would just be able to pick out of hundreds of fucking pickup trucks which one got Wes on a random road in Ohio. They must know some cops or something….”

“Or something.” David said solemnly. So they didn’t know; or they didn’t know David knew, so they were pretending. Colby seemed like he couldn’t keep a secret though; so, maybe Wes didn’t trust them with that kind of information.

“Is he going to be out soon?” David asked.

“Not sure.” Colby said. “Sit down, its going to be a while.”

---

It was a while. Four hours in fact. One to take him apart, and three to put him back together. The group was told they wouldn’t be able to stay at the hospital overnight, but Victoria Hughes arrived banked by two large, bulked up men, all except David were told to leave.

He was grateful, he was. He promised to keep the Motorcycle Bros in the loop, but right now Wes was his priority. Answering confirmation texts from Casey Lambert were not going to be on his to-do list.

Wes didn’t wake up that night. Or the next morning. Victoria left for a few hours, switching off with David at his bedside. The large men by his doorway stood silent watch. It was a long time before David felt safe enough to let himself sleep.

He was shaken awake sometime in the evening; a fragile grip tugging at his pant leg. “Davey?”

“Wessy.” David smiled sleepily before he even opened his eyes.

Wes groaned. David couldn’t help but laugh. “You called me Davey, fair is fair,”

“I’m high on painkillers, let me live.”

David opened his eyes to his best friend, tired and exhausted, but alive. Thank you, God; he was alive. He resisted the urge to hug him, conscious that underneath the hospital gown was probably a whole mummy’s worth of bandages. Instead, he gripped the hand on his trousers tightly. He wasn’t going to let go until Wes asked.

“I’m so glad you’re okay.” David said, weight behind his words.

“Yeah, bit gnarly.” Wes smiled.

“You’re a dork.”

“Yeah, and?” Wes rolled his head against the pillow, scraped scabs visible under his neckline. “How long have you been here?”

“Last night. Victoria is here too. She brought the goons.”

“Probably Alejandro and Pino; they’re nice guys.” Wes said, stifling a yawn. “Sorry to keep you up, it wasn’t even the fun kind.”

“I don’t mind, you’d do the same for me.” David squeezed his hand. Wes squeezed back.

“You know it.” Wes said, tiredness seeping into his voice.

David couldn’t help it though, his next words just came out. “What were you thinking? Going out riding? Leading the pack? They’re…”

“They’re the only reason I’m alive.” Wes corrected. “If I’d been alone? Shit.”

“I know, but you’re on the road with-”

“David not every traffic accident is Katherine!” Wes said, sitting up and wincing. “God. You remember when I skidded off the road in sophomore year; that was my own stupidity. This time? I could have just stayed in that ditch for a week and no one would have found me. It’s the side of the I-71 on a weekday, no one cares. Besides, its not like you’d come out riding with me.”

“Its dangerous Wes.” David insisted.

“God, David; is this about me spending time with them and not you?” Wes asked, nailing the issue on its head.

“It’s not.” David lied.

“I’m not stupid. I know you.”

He did.

“I just-”

“I’m sorry I haven’t been spending time with you; but have you considered you haven’t made it easy?”

“I-“

“I know, you want to get into a good school. I don’t care because I’m running the family business no matter what my grades are.” Wes sighed, “David. Has it occurred to you I miss you too?”

“But you spend all your time with-”

“Only when you blow me off to study!”

“We used to study together.”

“We used to have all our classes together.” Wes pointed out. “I’m going business, you’re going medical. Why would I still be in Biology or Physics? Why would you be in Accounting?”

David said nothing.

“For someone so smart you can be a real idiot.” Wes said, pulling David’s hand closer. “But okay, if you promise to stop being just a territorial idiot, I’ll make a special David Only Day- not just movie nights, but just us.”

David snorted, “You’re just saying that cause you’ll be on bedrest until you’re better.”

“You saw through my evil plan! Oh no!” Wes said dramatically, raiding his hand as many degrees it could go until it hurt.

They would be fine. But it would take work. Luckily, both of them knew how to make the impossible out of probabilities.

David then realized, “Hey wait are you dating-”

“They’re all taken and it’s unfair.” Wes said. “I know!”

“Oh that’s rough man.”

[afrenchie36]

Final Post!

Hey everyone! 

Lots of things happened over the past year, and I’m not sure where to start. I guess I could tell a little more about my current situation. I came back home in Bordeaux a little over three months ago as I couldn’t get a visa extension to stay in the US. Those are things that happen and you just need to make the better of it. I was supposed to work in Hershey, at Penn State’s Neurosurgery Department, for a year prior to starting medical school in fall 2020. This is disappointing in many ways but mostly because it feels like I let my mentors in Hershey down. I have been working with my parents at the restaurants, helping them out and doing my best to keep myself busy before the next step. Truth is, you can’t do much with a bachelor’s degree. 

Now that we got the depressing stuff out of the way, let’s talk about the fun things that happened to me over the past year! First of all, RAM became an official club and I led it as president. In only a year, the club grew to two hundred members, with half of them volunteering at three different RAM clinics in Ohio, Virginia, and West Virginia. Additionally, we’ve been working very hard to set up the first RAM clinic in Pennsylvania, which will take place in June of 2020 in Susquehanna county! Finally, we’ve been working with state legislators to pass laws to increase access to healthcare in rural areas of the US, and though it has been slow this is an important component of our work. I’ve made incredible friends (and girlfriend) through this club and it still feels unreal how quickly things came together. 

RAM has actually helped me realize how much I enjoy public health. Then I wondered, how could I combine my interest in public health and my love for surgery? This question has led me to global surgery, a quickly growing field of global health as 5 billion people lack access to safe and affordable surgical care. Eager to learn more about the field, I participated in a global surgery competition at Harvard Med fall 2018. Following that competition, I tried to get more involved in global surgery research and was fortunate to join a research group that studies access to surgical care in Haiti. I have now been part of that group for a year and am currently leading a research project on the costs of surgical care at St Boniface Hospital, a tertiary care hospital situated in southern Haiti.

My work with RAM and in global surgery has actually helped me realize that going to medical school is not the right choice for me at the moment. As of now, I see myself as someone that uses research and policy to increase access to medical care worldwide. Hence, I decided this past summer that I would not apply to medical school and am now applying to PhD programs instead. The goal would be to earn a PhD in global or public health which will give me the knowledge of population health, epidemiology, biostatistics, health economics and policy to truly make an impact. Overall, Penn State and Schreyer was a truly amazing experience. I have made countless friends and mentors of a lifetime. I have travelled the world and engaged in a wide breadth of experiences. I have created and built things with my hands and my mind. For all of this, I am thankful. 

I’ll send separate posts with a few pictures since for some reason my pictures won’t load through this post :(

[ultramaga]

“Dear Sir - Don’t Let #MeToo Make You Afraid of Me“ Because if you are afraid, you might take defensive measures, instead of being a victim when it suits us. “Men appear to be afraid of me.” Feminists claim that men are the evil oppressors, yet Feminists are the ones in power, and men grovel and scrape before them. Who is oppressing whom? “ A male superior at work asked, “Is it okay to say that?” after complimenting me on a new pair of “funky” boots. “ Not at my former workplace. Compliments were banned, for fear of sexual harassment charges. Feminists put in the laws - then moved the goalposts for them to infinity. In the UK, this even extends to asking someone what time it is. “Another man apologized profusely after tapping my elbow. “ Feminists changed that to be assault, so at their whim, yes, they can destroy a man for tapping their elbow. If you see a Feminist about to fall into machinery, say nothing. It’s the only safe thing to do. " it’s more likely a sign that men are unsure of how to interact with women.” Record everything, and don’t talk to them alone. Yes, Feminists have succeeded in the goal of splitting humanity into two segregated parts. Well done. No wonder they are so keen on Sharia. “It’s an unintended consequence of the movement” Bullshit. Read “The Future is Female” to find out this has been their goal all along. They just want to keep men and women confused while they seize more and more power. " Lean In and SurveyMonkey found that nearly half of male managers are uncomfortable participating in mentoring, working alone, or socializing together with women” Only half? I guess the rest will learn. Do not mentor women, do not work alone or socialise with women from the workplace. In fact, at my old job, fraternisation was completely banned, to the point it occurred secretly only. Because women - generally - are heterosexual, and want men, and need men to make the first move, and without that cannot find love. There shall be no love in the Feminist Utopia.

Feminists do not experience love, of course, and cannot comprehend that need. They despise it in men, and think it is a result of the hypnosis of Patriarchy when they see it in women.

“ A recent Harvard Business Review study exploring the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements' impacts on creating lasting improvements in their organizations revealed some adverse reactions.” Only some? Dividing men and women, making them enemies, only has SOME ADVERSE REACTIONS? I have to wonder what the hell the benefits are to that, from a business perspective. I suppose you could sell both sides bullets? “Men and women are not talking to each other. The environment is becoming sterile and completely unenjoyable to work in,” Gosh. Who could have foreseen that?

" According to the survey, 65% of men indicated that since the movements began it’s “less safe” to mentor and coach their female colleagues. This unintentional consequence hurts the women the movement was meant to serve.”

World Ends: Women and Minorities Hardest Hit

Feminists will always spin anything that hurts men. They cannot stand seeing men being cared for. “Strangely, it’s men who aren’t doing anything wrong who are feeling needlessly nervous” Because the defence of innocence has been stripped away.

"why are so many men stumbling in their ordinary discourse and interactions with women at work? “ Because they know they are guilty until proven innocent - it is simply up to the whims of any woman as to whether they are sacked - or worse. Even with Kavanaugh, with years of failure from Feminists to find anything to destroy him with, they succeeded in poisoning the well of public opinion. Control social media, and you control the minds of the masses.

"Of course, there are bad actors still lurking in the office” Note that Feminists never admit the bad actors could be female? Only males are guilty, all women are victims, and feminists never, ever lie ... " this mistrust comes with a huge opportunity cost for working women — missing out on mentorship by men with valuable experience and skill sets to share”

If you are a woman who stood by and yawned while men had their rights stripped away, this is the future you deserve. If you are a Feminist, you cannot be surprised when the men you defecate on don’t want anything to do with you. "Imagine if someone watched you eat for week, and pointed out all the stuff that was unhealthy, but never thought to tell you about what was healthy. “ Except that they had no science behind their beliefs, just power, the power to hurt you arbitrarily. That’s what Feminism is - power without reason, power for its own sake, the power to cause pain and the lust to glory in that pain. "So, to all our male colleagues — it’s okay to compliment a haircut or outfit.” No, it’s a crime thanks to Feminism. Feminists will happily lie to you to get you to do it - then turn around and destroy you the second they feel like it. Look at how Mattress Girl acted, pursuing a man, and when he said no, pretending he had raped her. His evidence of her pursuit long after the alleged rape didn’t matter - she was supported by the University and he was hounded. "Don’t comment on how someone’s body looks, how their appearance makes you feel, or what someone should wear.” Stifle your feelings. Do not express emotion. Feminists hate that. It’s toxic masculinity for a man to ... act like a woman. " think about complimenting women for their work” Because that‘s what humans do when they are attracted to each other. Hello, work unit. Your output is: adequate. See. You. Tomorrow. [*robotic wave*]

"As for mentoring and meetings, if it’s feels uncomfortable to take a woman out to a drink, then take her to breakfast” Whatever you do, do not take her out for breakfast. There is absolutely no reason for this not to be seen as intimate behaviour. "lunch” Only if you are prepared to record it all or have a third party as a chaperone. "coffee” Oh yes, there is no possible way a feminist wouldn’t interpret asking a woman for coffee as sexual harassment. Jesus bloody Christ, this Reeves is an idiot! " If you are still uncertain, consider mentoring a pair of women or larger group and take them out together. “ Because it’s not like Feminists conspire when they want to get rid of someone.

" Let the mentee drive the relationship. “ I don’t think this moron understands what a Mentor IS. “Please tell me how often, when, and where you want to meet." Because women respect men who grovel and beg? JFC! "We need to work together more now than ever. “ You had a chance to do that. You made men your enemy. It’s a bit late to whine about it now.

Feminists decided long ago that men had no place in the world. Men are starting to wake up to that. And at some point, we are going to have to put their beliefs to the test.

But here’s the thing. It’s not the Feminists who are carrying the guns.

[wellesleyunderground]

Wellesley in Politics: Meagan Harmon ‘08

Meagan Harmon ‘08 was appointed to the Santa Barbara City Council in early 2019 and is currently running in this fall’s Santa Barbara municipal election. Harmon is a lawyer who, after Wellesley, received a Master of Arts in Near and Middle Eastern Studies from Harvard University and a law degree from New York University School of Law. 

Thanks for chatting with us, Meagan! You were appointed to the Santa Barbara City Council earlier this year. Tell us a little bit about the community in which you serve.

Thank you so much for the opportunity to share a little bit more about the work we’re doing in Santa Barbara! I represent Santa Barbara’s Sixth District, which covers the heart of our downtown and its adjacent neighborhoods. We have such an awesome group of folks living in the Sixth District; I am so honored to be serving them on City Council. Those of us living in the Sixth District have a little bit of a different profile than someone you might typically associate with Santa Barbara. First of all, we’re primarily renters - at least 80% of us rent, rather than own our homes so issues like housing affordability and availability and renters’ rights are of particular importance to us. There is a huge range of income levels in our district, from a few very wealthy folks, to many low and moderate income families (we are definitely of a microcosm of the economic demographics in the city more broadly). Many of our neighbors are Latinx, and many speak multiple languages at home or live in multi-generational households. I’m extremely proud of the many amazing, hard working people that live in our District and of how much they contribute to our city every day. 

You mentioned in an interview that you are a relative newcomer to Santa Barbara. When the City Council seat opened up, what made you put your name forward this year?

I grew up in Lompoc, a small town to the north of Santa Barbara. It is a small, deeply connected county, though, so while I’ve only been living in the city for about three years, this place and the Santa Barbara way of life is elemental for me. That said, it was actually a pretty difficult decision for me to put my name forward for this position, but I’m so, so glad that I did. My daughter, Maura, is two years old and she’s both the reason I got involved and the reason it was such a difficult decision. 

As most Wellesley folx will understand, service is a core value that I’ve tried to let guide and drive me in my life. Before I had my daughter, though, I thought of service in a really broad way, and on a global scale. I spent time as an international humanitarian aid worker, including a year working in rural Afghanistan, and tried to do good work within that framework. When Maura came into our family - and this is one of the most unexpected and beautiful ways that motherhood has changed and shaped me - she refocused me on the challenges and injustices occurring in my own neighborhood, on my own block, and in my own city. So she was really the catalyst to thinking about local government as a means to affect the kind of systemic change that I believe is necessary in our world. It is a little cliché, I guess, but I want her to come of age in a city that reflects and celebrates all our neighbors, so she really drove me be part of the process of getting us there.

By the same token, it made me hugely nervous to take on such a public role during this phase of my life. Being a mom is hard, and though I am so lucky to have a truly equal partnership with Maura’s dad, the responsibilities and expectations we place on mothers (not just the childcare piece, but the mental load piece and the sort of “aesthetics” of modern parenting) are very real and they can sometimes be harsh. I wasn’t sure I was ready to take it on, while also maintaining my professional life (I still work as a lawyer) and trying to keep some semblance of my personal life going. 

Ultimately, I made the decision to step forward because I love my neighborhood and my neighbors and I wanted to work with them to bring our progressive values to City Hall. It seemed, at the time I took this step, that we were at a real crossroads in Santa Barbara - that we were, and still are, at a moment where we could implement policies that actually reflect the best of who we are, in contrast to what we see on the national stage. I wanted to be a part of that conversation. I also wanted to be part of paving the way for other moms of young kids to get involved in local government. I won’t lie, it can sometimes be super difficult and exhausting, but for the most part everyone has been so supportive and I think having the credibility to talk about the challenges faced by working families in Santa Barbara, as I’m currently living them myself, has allowed for some really productive legislative movement for our local families.

Issues of concern for you include housing and downtown revitalization, two significant issues for many communities across the country. In what ways, would you say that challenges faced by Santa Barbara in these areas are similar to what other communities are facing? Alternatively, how are Santa Barbara’s challenges unique?

As all Californians know, issues of housing affordability and availability have reached crisis levels in this state. Santa Barbara is experiencing that, too. We are seeing so many people priced out and dealing with housing insecurity because we don’t have enough rental units and the units we do have are far too expensive. That said, while it is absolutely true that the housing challenge isn’t unique to us, I do think the scale and scope of what we’re facing is pretty remarkable (in a bad way). 

According to some sources, Santa Barbara is the 16th most expensive city in the entire country, and it is in the top five most expensive in California. It is almost whiplash-inducing to think about the wealth gap in Santa Barbara: we have such incredible wealth in our community, but there is a startling high rate of poverty, as well. In fact, Santa Barbara County has the third highest poverty rate in the state and, according to a 2018 report, more than 26% of children in our county live below the poverty line. With the ever increasing cost of housing in Santa Barbara, it won’t be a surprise if we see these numbers going up. 

So, yes, housing is a huge challenge everywhere in California, but coastal communities like ours are faced with particular challenges that are exacerbated by the very extreme gap between those with economic status and privilege, and those who don’t enjoy those same advantages. Our housing prices - our rent prices in particular - are, in my view, the primary driver of increasing income inequality in our city. As city leaders, we have to lean hard into responsible, sustainable building that produces housing stock which is affordable to our working families. This is something I’m fiercely advocating for in my position on City Council. 

I am sure that being on the City Council has introduced to a variety of concerns facing your community. What is one issue that, perhaps you had never thought about before, but you have learned is of importance to the larger Santa Barbara community?

This is such a good question! There are so many things that I had no idea about before taking office. One area that immediately comes to mind: dealing with parking, transportation corridors and speed limits on our local roads!  I never thought too deeply about traffic and circulation before joining the Council, particularly because my family lives downtown and walks most of the time, but circulation planning requires a huge amount of time and effort (and a huge amount of study on my part as one of the decision makers). Take changing parking angles on a street, for example: that kind of change can have incredibly significant consequences both in terms of safety and circulation in our neighborhoods. So many experts are engaged in making these decisions for our city and I love being a part of the conversation. It has definitely opened my eyes to how much thought is required to make everything run efficiently and well - cities definitely do not plan themselves! 

I noted that in my own community, voter turnout in municipal elections is tends to be relatively low. How would describe your own community’s engagement at the very local level? How does this influence how you campaign?

You’re absolutely right, voter turnout in municipal elections is pretty low in a lot of places in this country and that is true in Santa Barbara, as well. Now that I understand just how important our local elected officials are - I mean, we make a decision at a Tuesday meeting and it can literally change the quality of life for our neighbors by Wednesday morning - I can’t do enough to encourage folks to vote in their municipal elections. 

It is true that local electeds don’t set policy on many issues that are taking center stage in today’s political discourse, but I honestly believe city government can and should be the front lines of transformative political and social change in this county. We don’t have a say in our immigration policy, for example, but municipal leaders can influence the national conversation by crafting policy that is grounded in service to all our neighbors. Here are a few examples of what I mean: we now require that translation services be made available so our whole community can participate in our meetings, our police department does not cooperate with ICE, and we recently passed a Just Cause eviction ordinance to protect the rights of all tenants in our city (after thirty years of politicians trying to do so!). So, while we don’t talk directly about things like immigration policy at our Council meetings and we can’t change what is coming from Washington through our votes, we can and do implement policies that reflect our values and that are themselves acts of resistance to immoral policies of exclusion. 

That’s a very long-winded way of saying that my number one goal when I go door to door is to try and communicate how absolutely vital local government is in our everyday lives. I am in a unique position in this race because I’m unopposed, so I have the opportunity to get out and just chat with people about how important municipal elections are to determining the character of our city. 

Since your appointment, what have you learned about city governance and being a public official? 

I had never held public office before coming on the Council in February and, in many ways, it has been a very steep learning curve. My most important lesson learned thus far has been about how best to communicate difficult news or unfavorable decisions. On the dais, I strive to find creative solutions that speak to all our neighbors' needs and concerns, but sometimes that isn't possible and folks walk away disappointed. I've learned the incredible importance of speaking clearly and honestly about my decision making process; I see effective communication as one of the central tenants of my job as an elected official. In light of that, I really try to speak as openly as possible both from the dais and in private meetings. If I articulate my thinking well enough, though it may not change the response to a given outcome, it is better understood by stakeholders that I have engaged with all sides of the issue and truly, meaningfully considered it. I have found that goes a long way to making all parties feel heard and respected - a cornerstone of both the democratic process and our Santa Barbara identity.

Finally, we at Wellesley Underground are big proponents of self-care. With all that you have going on, how do you care for yourself?

Honestly, this is something I really struggle with. Sometimes it feels like there is never enough energy to go around, between my family, my city, my law practice, myself, and I end the day with a sense that while I may be doing it all, I’m definitely doing it all poorly. My key to self-care has been to give myself grace every day, which has become a very conscious practice for me. This is a lot about managing my thoughts and the way I “talk” to myself. The more aware I am of my own thoughts, the better I’m able to manage my stress. Also, I’m so lucky to live in a place with incredible natural beauty, so I’ve been trying to make time every week to get out and root myself in the world. My daughter loves being outside so seeing her joy has really inspired me to get engaged in our natural environment in a new way and that has been an unexpected, but wonderful source of self-care for me. 

____

Follow Meagan on social media: 

Facebook

Instagram: @meaganharmonsb

___

Interview by Cleo Hereford ‘09

[notameeksassenach]

Dirt in the Skirt

Moodboard 

Many many thanks to @theministerskat, who not only served as the best beta in the world but also took the time to make a gorgeous moodboard (link above) and the epic title graphic!

The inspiration for this beauty started while walking around the National Baseball Hall of Fame. I grew up 30 minutes from the Hall of Fame, and have spent so much time at this wonderful place. The Woman in Baseball exhibit is one of my favorite places to walk around and explore. 

Dirt in the Skirt

Chapter 1 - The Beginning of an Era

With our boys overseas and off to war, baseball pitches in for the war effort! Baseball’s biggest stars say “Look out Mr. Hitler. The Yanks are coming!” And the Indians and Red Sox, too! And they won’t come back until it’s over, over there!

Baseball may be shut down for the duration of the war. Detroit Tigers owner and automobile mogul, Colum MacKenzie held meetings with other team owners to discuss the fate of their beloved sport. With fears that the sport would be shut down for the duration of the war, Colum’s younger brother, Dougal Mackenzie, has been charged with finding a way to keep baseball going. With any luck, the promotional whiz can find a way to keep the bases loaded!

Preparing for another day of chores, Claire Beauchamp-Randall quickly tied up the laces of her trainers. The simple routine of it allowed her mind to wander and she thought back on how she came to be in this exact moment. Originally hailing from England, her parents had uprooted their family when the opportunity to own the farm had arisen. Claire’s world quickly became centered around helping her parents by working on the farm.

When she married Frank nearly six years prior, she packed up the few possessions that were precious to her,, put aside the naive girl who knew nothing outside of her family’s farm and quickly learned to navigate the city streets. Claire acclimated well and was much like the other twenty-somethings around her who grew up in the sleepy suburbs of Boston.

Frank, who was a history professor at Harvard, had swept Claire off her feet from the moment they had met. She was only nineteen at the time, and he was much older and had an air of mystery about him. Settling herself into her new role as wife, Claire spent most of her days doting on Frank, ensuring all his needs were met, and that she left a good impression on his colleagues. She quickly became the model wife, putting aside any dreams she may have for the sake of her husband.

Claire never thought she would find her way back to Beauchamp Family Farm, always hoping to find something more than the routine life it offered. But life has a way of throwing curveballs at you when you least expect them. Since the beginning of the war, she found herself back home. Frank, ever the patriot, saw it as his duty to put down his books in favor of joining the fight.

After checking the chickens and cows, it was time to make her way to the garden. With it being her sanctuary, Claire could easily lose herself in the tending of her plants. Making her way through rows and rows of vegetables and flowers, she was so engrossed in her duties that she didn’t notice that she was no longer alone among the flora.

“Claire!” Geillis shouted and quickly dissolved into giggles as she startled her friend.

Claire turned to face her, clutching her chest. She shot the other woman a look of disdain as she tried to calm her heart from being nearly frightened to death. Picking up a trowel full of dirt, she flung it in Geillis’ direction.

“There’s no need to scare me like that!”

Claire should have expected the other woman to come out of nowhere. Geillis was a regular occurrence on the farm. Having been best friends growing up, it was not unheard of to find one where you found the other. Whether it was in the garden where they shared their love of plants, or on the baseball diamond where they shared a passion for the game, the two were thick as thieves. It was another benefit to being back home, Claire had been able to rekindle the friendship she once had with Geillis. As well as getting the chance to lose herself in the sport she cherished.

“Ye better get your glove, Claire. Ye ken it’s almost time for the game!”

“You seem more giddy than usual, Gellie. You normally reserve that level of excitement for the games you pitch.”

Geillis was the star pitcher for the local women's baseball league the two played for, though she wouldn’t be pitching in today’s game. It was only fair to switch off and allow everyone the chance to play the position. Their team was made up of a mixture of Scottish and English baseball enthusiasts, and they aptly named themselves the Swinging Sassenachs. There were several of these small leagues in the area. All coordinated by the players, it gave the women a chance to play a sport that was dominated by men. They made up their own seasons and played as if they were making their way to the World Series. A good time was had all around, and Claire couldn’t wait to take her place behind home plate as the team’s catcher.

Bottom of the ninth, one out, one on base. The Swinging Sassenachs were down 2-0. Geillis knew there was a lot riding on her as she grabbed her bat and made her way towards home plate.

“Gellie, watch out for those high ones!” Claire shouted over the crowd. The redhead had a tendency to imitate a lumberjack rather than Babe Ruth, trying to hit all the high balls.

“Quit naggin’ Claire. I like the high ones!”

Positioning herself, she began to focus on the task at hand. As the ball approached home plate, she swung and missed.

“Strike one!” called the umpire.

Shaking it off, Geillis tried to get her head back into the game. She took a deep breath and readied herself for the next pitch. She could see the ball coming towards her as if it were in slow motion. With a swoosh and a crack, the ball was gone. Geillis took off and successfully made it to second base before the ball reentered the infield.

As the lineup continued, the Swinging Sassenachs were still down 2-0 but had picked up another out. Making her way to the plate, Claire knew the fate of the game was in her hands. If she were to strike out, the game would be over and they would be adding another loss to their season. What she really needed was a home run. That would ensure a win, putting them at a final score of 3-2.

Claire had always been good under pressure, which earned her the spot as the cleanup hitter. Digging her cleats into the dirt, she found her sweet spot. Visualizing the ball coming straight down the middle, connecting with the bat, sending it deep into right field.

The only thing Claire was aware of was the roar of the crowd, and her feet as they made contact with each plate as she made her way around the bases.

“And the Swinging Sassenachs come from behind to win the game 3-2! Well done ladies!”

But what Claire didn’t notice was the spectator that wasn’t participating in the celebrations. Instead, he was still in his seat, silently studying the scene before him.

Upon returning to the farm, the girls busied themselves with the completion of the day’s remaining chores. The two chattered back and forth, recalling every little detail of the game, as they tended the goats, sheep, and horses.

“Ye should have seen the crowd when you hit that home run, Claire.” Geillis cupped her hands around her mouth, imitating the sound of a roaring crowd.

Claire responded with a reddening of her cheeks, and a shower of hay aimed directly at Geillis’ head. Anticipating the reaction. Geillis ducked, causing the offending hay to hit the gentleman neither of them had noticed behind her square in the face.

“Oh! I’m terribly sorry. Can we help you with something?” Claire apologized as she suspiciously eyed the man before her.

Wiping his face and untangling the debris from his beard, the gruff looking man responded.

“Aye. The name is Murtagh Fraser, baseball scout. I saw ye playing ball today.” his voice matched his gruff demeanor.

“And what of it?” Geillis asked, clearly curious as to why this stranger had any interest in their abilities. Claire could tell that this stranger had definitely peaked Geillis’ interest.

“Ever hear of Colum Mackenzie? Mackenzie Motors? Ye ken, the automobiles?”

Both women stared blankly back at Murtagh. Unfazed by their lack of reaction, he continued.

“He’s starting a girl’s baseball league while the boys are overseas.”

“And what does that have to do with us?” Claire questioned. She was running out of patience for this man in front of her. She still had chores to finished before dinner.

“It’s a real league, professional ye ken. Dinna ye want to play professional baseball?”

There was still no reaction from the dark-haired lass. The redhead, on the other hand, acted as if she would burst at the seams with excitement. Realizing that he needed to get the point sooner rather than later, he continued on.

“Look, yer country needs you. And ye can not only play ball, but both of ye are kinda dollies.”

“Dollies? Now listen here you. I’m a married woman! My husband is currently overseas!” Claire was done. Pushing past Murtagh, she made her way to the door where she was waiting for him to get the hint that he was free to leave.

“I didna mean any offense mistress. ‘Tis just that they want girls that are easy on the eye.”

“I’ll go. I’m ready right now. Do I have to sign something?” Gellis had always been the one of the two who was up for any challenge, the one who tended to not look before she lept.

Taking one final shot to make a hard sell, Murtagh left the girls with an envelope containing all the information as well as their train tickets. “The train leaves for Detroit tomorrow. What do ye say? Are ye in?”

“Ye..” Geillis began before Claire cut her off in one swift motion.

Turning back to Murtagh, Claire responded. “We’ll have to think about it. Good day sir.”

With a curt nod, Murtagh excused himself from the barn, grumbling as he made his way through a throng of chickens who were eagerly eating outside the barn.

“What are we to do, Claire?” asked Geillis.

“I’m not sure Gellie. I’m not sure what I want to do.”

“Claire, I’m going to play with or without ye. I just hope it's with ye.” And without another word, the redhead left the farmhouse, closing the door shut behind her.

Still reeling from the baseball scout’s offer to play professional baseball, Claire weighed her options in her head. On one hand, she loved the game and would love the opportunity to play and show the country just what women could do. But at the same time, she had wanted to embrace the simpler life while she waited for Frank to return from war. But maybe Murtagh had been right. Maybe her country did need her.

Hearing a knock on the front door, Claire pulled herself from her thoughts.

Who could be knocking at this hour? Mama and Dad weren’t expecting guests. It can’t be Gellie, she’d just let herself in.

Releasing the locks, Claire slowly opened the door. She wasn’t prepared for what she found on the other side. The one sight that she had hoped and prayed she would never see.

A Western Union messenger.

Claire could feel her knees go weak as she struggled to find her voice.

“M...May I help you?”

“A telegram for Mrs. Beauchamp-Randall,” he said matter of factly. “It’s from the War Department.”

“I’m…” she had to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat. “I’m Mrs. Beauchamp-Randall.”

He placed the letter in her hand before tipping his hat and turning to leave. Claire stood there staring at her hands, the letter still sealed. A myriad of thoughts went through her head, jumping from one to the next.

She wasn’t sure how she had gotten there, but Claire had made her way back inside and was seated at the kitchen table. Slowly she began to open the letter, praying that it wasn’t what she thought it was.

Maybe Frank just sent word that he was being discharged. Maybe he’s coming home.

With a rush of tears blurring her vision, she knew that the letter contained the confirmation that Frank was indeed coming home-- coming home so that he could be properly buried.

Dropping the telegram onto the table, Claire buried her head in the hands. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do now without Frank

Using the back of her hands to wipe the tears from her face, she glanced down at the telegram, nestled right next to the offer to play baseball.

[etudias]

(Edit: I am aware of the typo in the title, it should be experience)

Hi there, my name is Alessandra and I am going to tell y’all about how the whole college application process went for me. I think my experience ended a little differently than most, or at least most that people will share. It honestly took a lot for me to feel comfortable posting this so I really hope that it will help someone out there. It is however a very long post, so I am going to break it up into sections, feel free to read only what you need/want.

1. Researching Schools

I got excited for college. I was excited to go to college for as long as I can remember and was looking up different schools on site’s like the college board one, bigfuture, which by the way, I recommend, since probably 10th grade. So come Junior year I had a bunch of schools I was interested in. I ended up visiting a few in Boston over spring break that year. I visited Harvard, MIT, and Boston University (clearly my sights were set high). I did not really think it was that important to visit colleges, and that I should just visit the ones I got into to help decide (I now know that college visits can actually really help you get into a top school). The summer before senior year I worked hard to narrow down my list. I ended up with 12 schools that I applied to. This may seem like a lot to some, or not many at all to others. Most people I know applied to more like 5-8, but I know some people who applied to 20+, you gotta do what’s right for you. I wanted to apply to more honestly, but based on costs that is the number my mother and I agreed upon.

2. The Schools

Okay so in alphabetical order here are the schools I applied to:

Barnard College

Brown University

Carnegie Mellon University

Case Western Reserve University

Duke University

Georgia Institute of Technology

Harvard University

Massachusetts Institute of Technology 

Stanford

University of California - Berkeley

University of Georgia

University of Pennsylvania

So, some reasoning on my choices. I heard someone say something that I fully agreed with, and after everything still do. That you should apply to as many reach schools as you can because it raises the chances of getting into just one. So with that I applied to a bunch of reaches, a few meets, and 1 safety. The one safety school I decided on was because it was in state and in my state if you have a 3.75+ GPA and some other requirements, you get full tuition to in state schools and I knew that given the money, there was really no other school that I could consider a safety school that I would choose over it. I still stand by this choice.

3. My Stats 

You are probably going to ask this and I’ve decided to be upfront and tell you because why the heck not. I sent in ACT scores, not SAT (although I did take it). I got a 32 (33 English, 33 Reading, 35 Science, 28 Math), I should have spent more time studying for the math as that score never changed, but it was my 3rd time taking the test and I was over it, my goal had been a 33, but to me that was close enough because I was tired. My GPA was a 3.875 unweighted and a 4.063 weighted. My school did not offer many AP courses, I took all that I could with the exception of 2 history courses that I had strong reasons for not taking and when I had my Harvard interview and I talked with the lady about it, she wholeheartedly agreed and said that as the counselor of her private school she even made her school stop offering those courses, so yeah I feel pretty valid about that. (Ended up taking 7 AP’s if you are curious about which ones, they are on my about page) I basically got all A’s in my academics, my B’s came from some arts classes and health, I know, I know. I’m going to briefly mention my school in this section because it is sort of related. I went to a public arts high school that is ranked number 2 in the state for academics and 75th in the nation. It was extremely rigorous.

4. Extracurricular’s and other application stuff

I was very involved. I participated in theater for all 5 years (my school was 8-12). I did technical theater and by 10th grade was crew head for shows and in 11th grade I worked every show (which at my school was a lot). Senior year I became a stage manager which is a big responsibility and sort of like being a president of a club, but even more responsibility. I calculated the hours I spent with theater junior year alone, 300 hrs. I was also very involved in orchestra, all 5 years. My school has 4 orchestra levels, the first two comprising the lower orchestra, 3&4 comprising the higher level orchestra, based on skill level, not age. I was in orchestra 2 for 8th and 9th grade, orchestra 3 for 10th and 11th grade, and orchestra 4 for senior year, orchestra 4 was a big deal, with only 11 members and you played not only in the higher level orchestra but also the touring orchestra. Lots of hours. I also played in my county’s honor’s orchestra for 2 years. I was on the executive board (basically president) of my schools National Honor Society (our school only opens it to seniors, so I was only in it for 1 year). I was part of Beta Club for 4 years. I was a math tutor. I founded a Girls Who Code club at my school and taught it. I was in our award winning mock trial for 2 years. I was a member of my schools Gay Straight Alliance. I babysat all throughout high school. I did more than that but this is already long enough and you can tell that basically, I was a try hard.

   Let’s talk about summers. The summer after 10th grade I went to a 7 week long summer immersion program for coding called Girls Who Code. The summer after junior year I went to a week long orchestra camp, then my states Governor’s Honor’s program, which in my state is very prestigious and hard to get into (I think its like a 10% acceptance rate). I was a software engineering major and a math minor there. (Those are really the summers that count, but all other summers I went to orchestra camp)

   More application stuff, I had a fair amount of school awards as well as the aforementioned Governor’s Honor’s. I got recommendations from my pre calculus teacher, who I founded a Girls Who Code club with, and my world history/ap psych teacher. They both loved me and I’m sure wrote great recommendations (with the exception of UGA where I did not send any). All the schools I had interviews with went extremely well. I was a legacy for Duke. I had an alumni friend write an AMAZING letter of rec for CMU. I felt my essays were strong (and checked by 3 or so people).

   My major: I basically applied everywhere as a computer science major. I felt good about this with the way I spent my summers, some of my extracurricular, and classes I chose to take. I wrote a fair amount of essays about this and I feel as though my applications demonstrated the work I had put into bringing more people (especially women) into STEM, specifically cs, and my interests and knowledge of cs.

5. The Decisions

Finally the good part right? Well at least for you readers. I’ll go in order of the decisions (although towards the end I forget the order a bit because it was tech week and show weeks for my schools biggest production, I was busy) and add some commentary on some. (All regular decision unless otherwise noted)

MIT (Early Action) - rejected, it hurt a little being my first, but not unexpected

Case Western (Early Action) - deferred, then waitlisted, then rejected, everyone from my school got the exact same decisions from them and there were people from the bottom of my class to the very top lol

University of Georgia - accepted, oh boy I cried because finally thank goodness somewhere at least

Georgia Tech - waitlisted, then rejected, this one still stings, people with all around weaker applications from my school got in that applied early. the acceptance rate dropped from 40% to 8% between early and regular, biggest regret is not applying here early, once I was waitlisted here I felt for sure I wouldn’t get in anywhere else

Barnard College - waitlisted, still waiting to hear. at this point i just felt like I was getting waitlisted everywhere

Harvard - rejected, expected as are basically the rest of these

U Penn - rejected 

Brown - rejected

UC Berkeley - rejected

Duke - rejected, but damn that letter I’m still mad about, like the fact the I got rejected was unsurprising at that point, but they sent me 3 long paragraphs of rejection bc I was a legacy saying how sorry they were and how many times they reconsidered my application. One sentence would have been better.

Stanford - rejected

CMU - rejected, and man I knew it was coming but it was the last school I heard from, my last hope, and it was closing day for my last school musical, this was a bad day, not so much for this one school but just the process in general

6. Reflections

So I got into 1 school, yup just 1. My safety school that’s it. Let me tell you I was devastated, not over any particular school, but that I didn’t get into any others. I ate 4 donuts and cried a whole lot the day of that last rejection. I got really REALLY stuck on the fact that I would only ever read that one acceptance letter, that one congratulations. I moped around and was sad and upset with my self and full of regrets like why did I not apply to more schools, it was a bad time. But let me tell you that time really showed my what good some friends could be, friends really helped me through that. Even though I had only one school I waited till the last minute to commit. So yes, fall 2018 UGA here I come, go dawgs! (and really its not a bad school, especially the honors program) I worked really hard to get myself excited for this school and as much as I am, with the major I want to go into, I know it is in my best interests to transfer, no matter how much I do not like the idea of transferring (its a good school don’t get me wrong, just not the best for my major). I am still trying to come to terms with the idea of transferring and honestly this whole process in general. I do not think I would have done things much differently, I put my best into my applications, honestly if I changed anything I would have just applied to more schools and probably only more reaches or meet/reaches at that. I have come to accept the decisions (mostly, I still get quite down about it from time to time). It was an odd year for decisions at my school in general. We usually send a good amount of students to top top schools like ivies and the equivalent, but this year no one got into any, heck our valedictorian is going to UGA too. (I think it has something to do with our class being super strong overall, 50% had a 4.0+ weighted, so therefore none of us really stood out) So yeah it really freaking hurts only getting into one school, I’m pretty sure I went through all the stages of grief, but now I am in acceptance and just getting excited for college!! and I am SO EXCITED

   If anyone has any questions about this process, my inbox is open.

[pinoyscientists]

Meet Jaimee-Ian Rodriguez, astrophysicist-in-training

1) What do you do?

I am an undergraduate student pursuing a bachelors degree in Physics and pursuing a career in Astrophysics. I've participated in research on galactic dynamics and evolution. In particular, I focus on star formation in dwarf galaxies and how it is regulated by supernovae feedback and photoionization. I've worked with high-resolution simulations, which are really cool and teach you a lot about the technical, computational side of science.

2) Where do you work?

I split my work among a lot of places throughout New York City. My home institution is Hunter College, part of the City University of New York (CUNY). My research is based at the American Museum of Natural History and the Center for Computational Astrophysics. I also recently began collaborating with a postdoc up at Harvard University. 

The decentralization of my work started just as a consequence of the fact that Hunter itself does not participate in much astrophysical research. I'm glad that I've been able to expand my networks in this way. It's been a great exercise in stepping out of my comfort zone and has encouraged me to step out even further, leading me to places and platforms like this!

3) Tell us about the photos!

[Top:] Presenting the research I conducted this summer as part of the Banneker & Aztlan Institute at Harvard University. It was a beautiful program that not only engaged underrepresented students like myself in research, it also engaged us in critical theory that exposed the sources of oppression in our society and prompted us to lead the way to solve these problems. 

The slide pictured is actually from the portion of my talk in which I address the non-science aspects of that experience, and I draw this analogy which compares political/scientific superpowers to large galaxies whereas island nations (like the Philippines) would be dwarf galaxies, and how, even though public perception has a bias towards the larger/more powerful countries which obscures the hard work done by those elsewhere, the work done in smaller countries and smaller institutions is no less significant.

[Bottom:] With some other students in the program kayaking in a nature reservation near Harvard. It reflects what I do to enjoy and nourish myself; I really love being in nature. The great thing about astronomy (and the sciences in general) is that you get to travel pretty frequently, and you get to see all these new sights. I love to hike around New York, but some of the best sights I've seen were in Maryland and Utah, when I visited for conferences.

4) Tell us about your academic career path so far. 

I was born and raised in New York, and being American-born has afforded me a lot of privilege. This is something I have to thank my parents for, who immigrated from the Philippines in the 90s. I went to a relatively small high school called Newfield High School before going to Hunter College. I'll be applying for graduate programs this fall to pursue a PhD. Some of my top choices include University of Texas at Austin, Harvard, and University of Washington.

5) Anything else you’d like to share?

I advocate for equality and justice in academia, the dominant institutions in the United States, and the world at large. I do so mainly through the clubs I head in school-- the Coalition for the Revitalization of Asian American Studies at Hunter (CRAASH) and the Society for Physics and Astronomy. We bring attention to issues of inequality and oppression through workshops, movie screenings, and other activities.

My ambitions extend beyond just getting a PhD and attaining existing research positions. I plan on creating my own research project soon (hopefully through the Fulbright Program) which would push the boundaries of what I can do solely in astronomy and in the US. My current, rough draft idea involves gathering and examining the wealth of astronomical knowledge in Southeast Asia and the Pacific, and empowering budding scientists in these areas by providing resources in whichever way I can. This idea is still a long way from becoming reality, however, I do want to make sure I work with the communities to establish goals that are not only relevant to me, but also to the people I interact with. If you are reading this and have any ideas, or just want to get into contact, feel free to email me. I'm happy to respond!

[thelordismytreasure]

An Open letter to the President of the United States, clarity edition

The year was 1965. LBJ was waging an unpopular war in Vietnam.  Televised reports daily counted the tally of American boys killed and wounded, and news footage showed the caskets of the dead being loaded aboard military cargo planes bound for the United States.

The civil rights movement was in full swing.  Police in Montgomery, Alabama were battling mostly black protesters with attack dogs and water cannons.  

Riots and looting were reported across the country, but I lived in a lazy backwater called Faribault, the all-white county seat of rural Rice County, Minnesota where racial strife was unknown.

My father and mother assisted my understanding of what was going on.

As for my civil rights: suspended.

From my mother: “You must attend school until you are eighteen.  If you drop out of school, the police will put your father and me in jail and you will be sent to reform school.”  

The law referred to was known as the compulsory school attendance act.  It was particularly onerous to me as my teachers were refusing to provide any information leading me to understand and compete in the entertainment industry as either a singer or an actor, my desired goal/s as stated, at the time, to both my first male teacher and to my father.

From my father: “You will be subject to the draft when you turn eighteen, unless you get into college.”  It was explained that eighteen-year-old young men were being forced into military service by a random system imposing it.  

The likely consequence of being drafted was that you would be sent to Vietnam to fight, (and from the televised reports of the war that I was viewing each night, returned home in a casket.)

I was terrified and mystified all at the same time.

Not only were my parents and teachers not educating me to my goals, they went on to suggest that I should ignore the programs of education that might feed my needs for information post high school graduation, concentrating on those programs other than in music or drama so as to feed my need for sustenance, (in the form of a steady job outside the entertainment industry,) post college.  (Please see my post, “Are YOU a traitor to your country?,” for more on this topic.)

Long story short, on March 4, 1965, confronted with further and more personalized abuse by both my father and teacher, I announced to my teacher, Mr. Huberty, that from that day forth, until I graduated from college in a field other than in music or drama, I would understand that any inquiry from any teacher in our school system as to my educational goals was only meant to prompt me to name a field of study other than in music or drama.  Or a position in an industry other than in entertainment.  

I was formalizing my acceptance of the convention of speech that had been engendered by both himself and my father when they each and separately prompted me for such information in our talks.

I was extending credit to my government whom had suspended my civil rights to place such teachers over me in recognition that the demands of international conflict took precedence over individual rights in its conduct.

Moreover, I said to Mr. Huberty, once I had achieved college graduation in this proposed alternate field of endeavor, I would reject any offer of employment in that field until I was given a leading role in a major motion picture.

I was exercising my right and ability to limit the amount of time I served the government’s interest, as expressed by its agents placed over me, to twelve years, after which I would expect and require reward to the lure by which my service was being solicited, “enough money to pursue a career in either the field of music or that of drama.”

Thereafter, I returned home from school to pen a letter to Lyndon Baines Johnson, then president of the United States of America, setting forth the terms of the service which I had agreed to extend to our country in its hour of need.

Accordingly, Mr. President, having been asked for a period of service of twelve years by the men and women our government placed over me, having agreed to deliver the service requested and having, long since, delivered that service, I must ask you, “Would you please reward me, as promised by our government’s agents and spokespeople in 1965, with sufficient money to pursue a career in music or drama, perhaps both, perhaps neither?”

Thank you sincerely for your attention to this matter.  I realize your time and attention are required by other persons and issues more pressing than mine.

Yours, very truly,

Karl Leonard Meyer, A.B. Harvard College, 1977, in geology

## Signs and Wonders After composing the above letter, (edited in this edition of the telling, at paragraph #16, above, to more correctly read, “enough money to pursue a career in EITHER THE FIELD OF MUSIC OR THAT OF DRAMA,” I hurried over to the neighboring Hennepin County Library and Judicial Center to upload it to my blog.  After doing this, I navigated to the White House website, accessed the “contact” form, identified myself by way of their email form and then posted a brief invitation to the President to view my “Open letter,” describing the contents as a petition of mine to resolve my long-standing grievance with the government and adding the URL where it could be found.  HAVING REVISITED MY LIFELONG PURPOSE, BEGUN IN ’65 WITH MY FIRST EVER LETTER, AN ACT WORSHIPING GOD IN WORD AND DEED THROUGH THE ATTEMPTED FORMULATION OF A GOVERNMENT AMENABLE TO MY ENDS, (the purpose of my kin in coming to America as Pilgrims,) I logged out, quit my computer’s open applications, shut down and ended my communications session, CLOSING THE LID.  At that very moment, 5 p.m. CDT, 30 June, 2018, there was a cloudburst and I feared to walk the short distance home for fear of damaging the precious instrument of my access.  All the while, I was sheltered by an overhang of the steps I had been sitting on leading to the judicial center, an overhang which also sheltered a small number of cars, transport for people visiting the library.  Spying a woman who was just then leaving in her car, I waved to her, signaling that I wished to talk.  I approached the driver’s door and she tentatively rolled down the window a fraction of an inch.  When she heard that I wished her to give me a ride, she rolled it up again.  I persisted to say that I was worried that the rain would damage my computer, explaining my need.  Rolling her window all the way down, she declined to give me a lift, but offered a purple carrying sack, suitably large to hold my laptop and made of tightly-woven cloth sufficient to repel the rain.  Purple, the color of royalty.  This simple gift, arriving from a surprise source, met my immediate needs, unanticipated needs and reinforced the oft-quoted adage of Charles F. Stanley, Doctor of Divinity: “God assumes full responsibility for our needs when we obey Him.”  That very phrase was emblazoned on his letter of thanks to me, retrieved from my mailbox upon my return home.  Check him out at InTouch Ministries. ### Why is it prudent for YOU to redress my complaint? You are the head of the government.  It is your responsibility to address the debts of the nation, not only those incurred under your administration, but those debts incurred under previous administrations.

My claim is for a debt owed by the government for several reasons:

At the time that my service to the government was solicited there existed twin threats to my liberty, one from the state of Minnesota and one from the federal government of the United States.  The state of Minnesota operates under the supervision and control of the federal government so I will address that threat first, leaving my appeal to the federal authority, as foundational, for later.

The threat to my liberty that the state of Minnesota represented in 1965 was not only a threat to me, but also to my parents.

The penalty of disobedience on my part was “reform school,” confinement for the purpose of my indoctrination, information and gain. This could be argued as a benefit to me, but the penalty to my parents and for their allowance and promotion of my liberty, for their disobedience to the law of Compulsory Education, was jail, confinement for the purpose of punishment alone, there was no remedial intent given to that penalty.

In my deliberations of 1965 as to whether I should seek my own good by leaving school, necessary to me in order to gather information for the purpose of advancing my interests in becoming an actor or a singer, or to sacrifice my interests to those of my parents, state and nation by continuing to attend school were as follows:

My ability to seek information on, and participate in the work of the entertainment industry was limited by my circumstances of the time.  The industry was headquartered in two cities, both far away, New York on the East coast and Los Angeles on the West.

It was possible for me to gather the names of those companies responsible for producing the movies that we watched in the theater weekly by carefully noting them when the credits rolled at the end of the movie.  I could then, with my parents permission, use the telephone and long-distance Directory Assistance.  

A map of the country showing the telephone area codes of the various cities and regions in it was available in our telephone books.  Finding information on the companies involved in making movies would be simple; all I had to do was find the area code of Los Angeles, dial that, followed by “555-1212.”

An operator would answer asking for the name of the party I wished to call and I would answer with the name or names of the companies I had gathered from the movie credits.  I could then call those companies and request information from the parties answering for them.

By this method, I could overcome my mother’s claimed ignorance of the ways and means by which I could get into the movies.  

The obstacle presented was that she would not allow my use of the telephone.  

Two reasons were given.  1.) It was very expensive, (at the time,) to make long distance calls. My family would be burdened by my proposed activity, and 2.) It would tie up the phone. The line must remain open so that persons with life-threatening ailments could reach out to my father when he was home, or my mother, who could then direct them to my father’s whereabouts.

I decided that my father’s work as a healer to the community took precedence over my interest in gathering information for my sole benefit.  

Furthermore, because the industry was far away and participation in it would involve travel to that location as well as in the area, itself, I could not readily apply the information I may have received over the telephone by traveling there.  I would have to wait until graduation from high school in order to travel independently from my parents.

These were the reasons presented to me as a minor citizen of the state of Minnesota as to why I could not pursue my own good will until I had attained majority status.

Since that time, the Compulsory School Attendance Act of the state of Minnesota has been modified so as to allow parents to educate their children, themselves.  This change has eliminated the perception that the state is exerting exclusive control over the education of their children in defiance of the parents’ good will and intent for that child, but at the time my reasonable perception was that the threat posed to my parents under the Act, was of such severity that my father was forced to parrot my teachers’ unreasonable suggestions that it would be necessary for me to, not only graduate from high school, but to also attend and graduate from college in a field of study unrelated to my interests, in order to ultimately pursue them.

What was the threat from the federal government that compelled me to agree to the aforementioned “unreasonable suggestion” foisted on me by both parents and teachers?  It was the Selective Service Act of 1964.

The college deferment rule in the operation of this Act meant that, not only was it imprudent for me to ignore the insistence of both parents and teachers that I give my full attention to my studies, both at home, where I was required to continue with the work demanded of me at school, and at school, as well, but that I, unlike my sisters, must give full attention to my high school studies so as to ensure my acceptance into college in order to avoid being “sent into harm’s way,” the Vietnam War being active.

In concluding my deliberations over what I should do about the situation that confronted me in 1965, it was that it was the federal authority that more greatly impelled my attendance to school, and that it was, therefore, with the federal authority that I should place my complaint about the thrust and operation of the school in denying me the use of liberty to serve my own good interests.

Accordingly, I addressed a letter to the President of the United States.  Aware as I was about the inconsistencies of a mailed letter to the President of the United States and the risk that it would late, lost or ignored, underneath his title as placed on the envelope, I placed my paternal grandparents’ address, (just a block away in Faribault, Minnesota.)  

It was my hope that they, if they received it, would be responsible for the purpose of my letter: to lodge a complaint with the federal government of the United States of America, and to ensure that my stated will and intention, to serve the reasonably perceived purpose of the government, survived for the period of time which I intended to serve that interest, so that I may, thereafter, have reasonable evidence for my claimed reward, as stated by both my parents and teachers, both also serving the interests of the government, my parents, under penalty of law and my teachers, for monetary purposes, alone.

To reiterate my request of you, Mr. President, will you keep faith with me and to the Powers which have been entrusted to you by the People of this country, by complying with my reasonable demand upon the resources of this Nation to pay the debt which is thus owed me?

Thank you, sincerely, for your service to this Nation and to myself, in your consideration of this information and argument.

Very truly yours,

Karl Leonard Meyer, 7151 York Avenue S. Minneapolis, MN 55435

P.S. More information about the contents of my letter to LBJ of 1965, referred to above, may be found in my 28 pp. story, copyrighted with the Library of Congress under the title, “My Story by Karl Meyer (or) How I Traveled Through Time and Space with Jesus Christ While Investigating the Evidence for God’s Endowment of My Right to Liberty from Compulsory School Attendance.”  

I believe you will profit and enjoy by the read.

#### Dear Mr. Trump,

In my blog post, today, “An Open Letter to the President of the United States,” which I have just reblogged at thelordismytreasure.tumblr.com, I have suggested that my story, ““My Story by Karl Meyer (or) How I Traveled Through Time and Space with Jesus Christ While Investigating the Evidence for God’s Endowment of My Right to Liberty from Compulsory School Attendance,” (copyrighted with the Library of Congress,) may be profitable for you to read.

Contained therein is a description of the first letter that I ever wrote. It was written at the age of nine in March of 1965 and addressed to “the president of the United States,” LBJ.

This letter described two things: 1.) the fact that I had just entered into a covenant with our government, which was asking me for twelve years of my service, and 2.) it described an experimental hypothesis which I was going to pursue testing to see if there was Evidence that Our Creator endowed My right to liberty from Compulsory School Attendance.

The hypothesis read that, if I delivered the twelve years of service requested by the government, and if the government failed to reward me thereafter, as suggested by my teacher of the day, one Mr. Huberty, with “enough money to pursue a career as a singer or an actor,” such that its failure to reward me caused me to Fail to make a professional debut in either or both fields of endeavor by the 1/3 demarcation point of an expected natural lifespan of 78 years, (or by the age of 25 as it could be reckoned,) then it would be Evident that the government had caused me injury by the perfidy that it had perpetrated on me by the man it placed over me using means of coercion under both state and federal law.

The hypothesis Predicted that If it should become Evident that Our Government had injured me so, And if there existed a God of Nature whom in His Divine Wisdom Endowed Our Right to liberty from such injury and coercion, aforementioned, Then there should be observed an Injury to the Head of the Government, the President of the United States, presiding in my 26th year.

Remarkably, my hypothesis was fulfilled in 1981 with the assassination attempt on President Reagan perpetrated by John Hinkley Jr.

The injury inflicted on the president was in March of that year, the same month wherein I formulated my hypothesis and mailed it to the president in a letter.

Accordingly, it is my duty to you, as acting president of the United State at this time, to inform you that the Lord of Righteousness may hold you accountable for injuries such as mine, perpetrated against the People of Our Union under the ubiquitous Compulsory School Attendance Acts flourishing among our states. It could be in a manner which is most personal and immediate.

Please take this advice in the Spirit in which it is intended, a friendly reminder of the duty of the president to serve and protect the citizens of this country, both here and abroad.

I would suggest to you that the egregious Acts of which I protest are a violation of our national creed as formerly expressed daily in recitation by the children of our country, the Pledge of Allegiance.  The Pledge is to the Republic for which our flag stands, “one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

Does that Republic exist, today, under YOUR administration?  I think not.

Most truly yours, KX (the code name by which my friends cum playmates called me in our childhood.)

P.S. I think you deserve our thanks for the splendid job which you are doing.

[jstmymagination]

After he dropped Marissa back off to A Safe Place he met up with Tohr at Havers clinic. Tohr wanted to speak with him to possibly get more details about the condition of the patient and the attack. Hello, May I help you gentlemen, said Havers head nurse Julie. Tohr respsond yes, we would like to speak to MD if he is in. He is scheduled to be back in about 5 mins if you guys have time to stick around and wait. They both obliged. Havers finished his transfusion bandaged his arm and rolled his long sleeved shirt back down. On top of that he put on his lab coat check himself in the mirror and headed back upstairs to resume the rest of his day. When he came around the corner he was greeted by 2 of the kings men. One of them being his brother in law Butch. Hello Gentlemen what May I assist you with evening? We would like to speak with regarding the attacked patients Ahh yes, we can step into my office. A few steps up the hallway and they were inside Havers office. The space itself was very cold the walls were covered with degrees from Harvard School of Medicine on his desk sat an MacBook to left of that 2 iPads a phone equipped with intercom and a to the right two 4 x 6 picture frames turned face down. Yes Gentlemen take a seat... I’m sorry if the information I provided to my sister wasn’t quite detailed enough however that’s I all I have to go on. Did anyone of the victims mention where they were or what they were doing when the attack happened. Unfortunately not, by the time they make it to me they are so badly beaten and drained, that the memory is scattered. Well if you hear anything please let us know. Butch started clearing his throat.. how would you like to join us for dinner sometime doc. We are family are we not? I’m willing to leave the past in the past if you are? For my shellens sake I’m asking for you for a family dinner just the three of us, whaddaya say? Havers was completely shocked by the gesture but did accept his brother in law invitation to dinner. He could tell that the warrior was grateful for his acceptance by the look on his face. Yes , I would be honored to have dinner with you and my dear sister. How about this coming Friday night? Friday it is. When they got back in the ESV Tohr looked over at Butch who was looking straight ahead and asked.. what was that about? Butch said would you believe me if I said I have not a fucking clue.. Something Marissa said today at lunch got to me.

How did you get through so many volumes? This stuff so boring. It’s not so bad once you learn my system. The first hundred or so pages are always going to the story of the warriors parents & their lineage. So that’s a blah, blah, blah... bore, bore, bore The next hundred pages always focus on the rearing, training and everything taught prior to them going through the change. I.E. more blah, blah, blah. This is why we want to start each volume on or around page 300. That’s where all the good stuff or need to know information starts. Great let’s skip to page 300 then. Not quite yet ..each of these journals are 500 pages long. You still don’t want to read those 200 pages, trust me. So then the next step is read pages 300 to 350 then skip to page 400 read to the end. I promise you my system works. You will learn everything you NEED to know about each warrior without being bogged down in the minutia. And if you have any questions I will be here to fill in the blanks. Shall we get started then.. Five hours later Lassiter pulled his head out of one of the journals and to see Pea looking stressed and uncomfortable. Are you okay? Yea just a little tired today has been long for me? Can we call it night? Sure you can go ahead up and I will pick up with you tomorrow. Pea went down the hall to room that had been assigned to her. Once inside she locked the door and went straight into bathroom to run warm water in that ginormous bathtub. Her joints were stinging and the make matters worst her stomach was growling. The smoothie only calmed it down for a little while how on earth was she supposed to make it another 20 days. After Pea added some lavender bubble bath she eased down into the water and said a silent prayer for relief. While she sat there she thought about all the people that lived in the house and how they greeted her with open arms.. particularly the queen. Wrath had not only settled down but made an aire to the throne. My how times have changed anyway I can’t afford to take any chances at this time, I have to stay on course. With that thought she closed her eyes and tired to relax.

Ahh yes we will have stuffed chicken, creamed spinach, garlic mashed potatoes for the entree and please make sure we have plenty of alkaline water. Also his favorite dessert is yellow cake with chocolate icing I would have a fresh one made as well. And then a bottle of scotch for my hellren. I think that should do it.. we will be using the private diningroom at A Safe Place it’s a little intimate setting so May I ask that you freshen up the linens on the table. Yes madam Fritz replied. Marissa had asked Fritz to assist her with her brothers' dinner because she wanted everything to be perfect and let’s face it perfection was Fritz's middle name. Even though the night was upon them she still couldn’t believe that her brother had agreed to have dinner with her and her hellren. Havers arrived promptly at 6:30 carrying a little box of treats no doubt they were macaroons. He knew that they were his sisters favorite. Marissa let fritz answer the door because her nerves were in ball. When Fritz escorted Havers through the door Marissa kept a poker face but she was mortified at how thin and frail he looked. Havers had never really been a big guy but he always carried a good amount weight on him... being 6ft 1 his body was well toned and full of definition. The person that stood in front of her now.. looked nothing like that. Greetings Brother mine, thank you for joining us for dinner. I am glad your hellren extended me the invitation When Marissa reached for her brothers embrace she tried to hold back the tears in her eyes. I’ve missed you, Havers And I have missed you my dear Marissa, here these are for you Come let’s sit down. Havers had to take a step back and he realized that Marissa hellren was dressed in a suit. The guy cleaned up very well. Man that lab coat adds 20lbs to him butch thought This guy is small, hell he looks like he could use a trip to the doctor. As Marissa and Havers reacquainted themselves with each other, Fritz began serving the meal.

Hi are you guys doing yoga today? Pea asked Bella, Mary, & Beth when she came downstairs. I would like to participate if y’all have room from one more body. Since it was going on her second week there Pea body had began to ache all over. Her senses were super heighten and she could feel herself becoming more aggressive. She knew exactly what or should I say who was responsible for triggering all of this. She could smell him through the walls even though they were separated by two floors, she could feel every moved he made. Those dark spices when he emerged from his room in the morning that poured all over him and Beth. The scent spoke to her like a mating call and her body was starting to respond. She could feel him as he approached the steps, hell at last meal she could smell his breath as if she were right in his face about to kiss him. This house is too small she thought, when he open his mouth to talk she immediately began to moisten in between her thighs, her pulse increased, she began panting for breath and her nipples instantly harden to the point that they were poked through her shirt. Her body was totally aroused and she couldn’t control it. Pea knew that she couldn’t let that happen again so instead of sitting down to any meal with the family she either made up excuses, or she would time it so that she’d be outside the house walking or on a pretend phone call. Tonight yoga would be the perfect distraction. Staying busy and pushing through the pain was name of the game. This would all be over in another week. Then she could go back to regular unbothered life. I missed you at last meal are you okay. Oh yes, I just had another meeting I have to stay ahead Of the curve. Fashion and time stop for no one..

Lassiter was so thankful for Pea her tips truly saved him from months and quite possibly years of reading. He notice that she had made herself right at home, like everyone else does that enters this house. When he went looking for her yesterday to get started, he saw that she was having tea with Mary, Jane & Manny. They appeared to be caught up in a debate over the show Fixer Upper with Chip and Joanna Gaines. Who’s the boss and who has the brains?! Pea & Manny were team Joanna for both Boss and Brains while Mary and Jane were team Chip. The show never really appealed to Lassiter much. He slowly backed into the study and started without her. Lassiter was trying to think of the best way to repay her. He couldn’t just let her go back to the city and never touch base again. That just wouldn’t do... maybe he could get Fritz to organize a going away brunch.. since Pea always drinking a beet smoothie, or beet juice. Come to think of it.. he rarely saw her with anything else. Hey Lassiter, I’m going to participate in the yoga class with Bella and the ladies, do you mind? Not all.. if I have any questions I know where to find you. Okay thanks. Hey.. what were you thinking for dinner? And before you answer I don’t hear anything that start with the word beet. Pea let out a little laugh and said fine... I hadn’t thought about it.. you pick and I will eat. Cool, have a good workout. Thanks! Pea left the study feeling more nervous than ever. How was she going to choke down any kind of food.. for one she didn’t have any type of appetite and for two.. even if she did.. her teeth were aching her so badly that she wouldn’t be able to chew it. She would have to think of a clever way to stall him out.

Marissa was so happy with the way dinner turned out for her Butch and Havers she had been a giddy mood all week. Havers had come with fully open arms it was obvious that he had missed her as well. They talked before, during and after the meal, after all it had been two years since they last spoke to each other. She learned that he still visited his late wife parents every Sunday just like he did when she was alive. She also learned that he had began toying with the idea of training another physician to help assist him with his workload. Between births, injuries, sickness and crime.. he was busy around the clock. That cause concern for Marissa because Havers was unhealthy himself. She didn’t want to get into the blood transfusions that he was administering to himself but she knew that issue definitely had to be addressed soon. Havers prolly went from a healthy weight of 200lbs prior to his shellen dying to the 125lbs that sat across from her at the dinner table. Butch was also caught by surprise when he realized that they both were Red Sox fans... they both preferred a good scotch to any other liquor and both like the same types of music. At one point during the evening Butch even referred to him as bro-n-law. Havers also informed Marissa that the families of the glymera had decided to hold their annual crown ball. Traditionally meant for highest and Nobelist families to pay ridiculously amounts of money to rub elbows with King and Queen for the evening. It included fine dining and dancing. However since the king took so long to ascend to the throne.. and even afterwards the tradition was halted. So now that Wrath has taken his place and disbanded the old glymera counsel. The newly appointed heads of each family decided it was time to start holding the crown balls again. Marissa was surprised when she heard about it and wondered if the King and Queen would be willing to participate. The donations would help her add additional rooms on to A Safe Place. After that they all agreed that they would do it again real soon and Marissa was anxious to call him now. I never thought I of all people would be saying this but I kind of feel sorry for the guy. Butch said to Rhage, V, & Phury for years I’ve wanted nothing more than to kill him for what he did my wife but after hearing his story it’s kinda hard to hate the bastard. Phury looked over at Butch and said so he’s been in mourning all this time? Wow. V chimed in as he sat back on the bench press machine and said he has been in mourning times 2 don’t forget the young. Rhage stopped the treadmill ... I can’t begin to imagine life without my Mary or Bitty but it still doesn’t excuse the fact that he put Marissa out just before sunrise. I’d hate to be in your shoes. Then to top things off We have stuff in common... V he’s a Sox fan!!! He listens to hip hop not this new crap either I’m talking Biggie, Tupac, Nas, Jay-z.... They all stop what were doing turned to Butch and said in unison Havers?!?!... then burst into laughter. Down in the library Lassiter settled in with a cup of tea and picked up the next journal which was the story of Danger son of Danger. Just as he opened the book Bitty came in with her iPad. Looking for a quiet place to study? Lassiter asked. Yea, my mom wants me learn a second language so I chose Spanish. I thought it would be a lot more interesting than what it actually is. What are you doing? Same thing only I’m not learning a second language, I’m learning about the brotherhood and how it all came to be. Well that sounds a lot more interesting than this. I suppose it does, hey you want to help me plan a party? Bitty perked up. Yes who’s it for? Pea she is coming up on her last week here with us and I’d like to host a going away party for her. Sure I’d love to help with that, but wait I thought she lived in the city. She does. So then why are we giving her a party? Won’t she be coming back to visit us? Lassiter responded, well she’s really busy and I don’t know when we will have time to do this again. Oh okay, I really like Pea, she makes the best beet smoothies not to thick and not too thin. I much rather drink one of Peas smoothies then eat my vegetables, Bitty said with a innocent smile. After yoga Pea sat in the kitchen nursing a bottle of water listening to Marissa tell Beth about the Crown Ball.. to be honest the event sounded like something that could be really nice with the right people in charge. But she knew that even if Beth wanted to attend the big hurdle would be convincing Wrath that this would be worth his time. Wrath loathed any kind of attention from the families of the glymera. He knew that they didn’t care for him particularly because of the woman he chose as his queen was a halfbred. Wrath didn’t give a shit though after all who was going challenge the King. “ Crown Ball does sound like something that could benefit everyone” I know you want me to mention it to Wrath however I think for better affect we both may need to tackle him with this one. I can’t make any promises we both know how my hellren feels about that group of people. Pea left them and went to the study to find Lassiter she purposely sat in the kitchen to stall for time. The thought of trying to eat something made bile rise up in the back of her throat. Luck was on side this evening, by the time she arrived back to the library Lassiter was gone. Pea quickly jotted down a note left beside the stack journals and went to her room. Lassiter couldn’t even focus when Tohr gave out the assignments in the meeting, he was so overwhelmed with the information in the last journal. He knew that every line recorded in those journals was true. Every person, mating, birth, event, fight, every single thing that the Scribe had chronicled was all true. So this in fact had to be. Lassiter had been repeatedly re-reading the last sentence on the last page over and over again. “And the Kingdoms people shall be ruled with Wrath and Serenity” .. when he went back there, he had planned on addressing Pea but instead of finding her.. there was note in her place. “ came to see what’s for dinner but you were gone :( , gone to take shower and relax, maybe tomorrow?” Why couldn’t I see this from the beginning.. She can’t leave this house on Sunday.

Paging Dr. Havers code Blue, code blue Dr. Havers... not again. This happens every time I start my transfusion. Havers stopped the IV pump, removed the IV from his blistered arm, rolled Down his sleeve, grabbed his lab coat and headed back upstairs. These attacks were happening to frequently now.. im having a hard time keeping up with my treatments. What do we have? Young male just out of change, mom says he went hiking behind his house , he had been gone for 4 hours which was not normal for him. She started calling his cellphone and didn’t receive an answer so she went searching for him. When she got to the edge of property she could see his jacket in the bushes. He appeared to be beaten badly with bad cut to his rib cage. Julie let’s get him in OR 2 he losing a lot of blood. Another long day these attacks are getting more gruesome, this time I had to remove a small part of the small intestines the bleeding and the wounds were just to badly damaged. Since this kid was a lot younger he was hoping to talk to him once he awoke from the surgery. It shouldn’t take long for the kid to recover. Maybe he could get some details to pass along to his brother in law. It still seemed so strange to be on talking terms with his sister. Havers started feeling unlike himself after that 2nd hour of surgery. He actually felt weak.. he knew that he couldn’t neglect anymore transfusions because the outcome could be deadly or even worst than that he could get bloodlust. With shakey hands and a hungry stomach he made it through the procedure then left explicit directions with his nurse that he under NO circumstances was to be bothered. When he got back downstairs in his private lab and removed his lab coat, he could feel a sharp pain starting at his wrist and shooting up his left arm. When pulled his shirt back he could see there was blood clot under the skin at the wrist area. He quickly began rubbing applying pressure to dissolve it. He just wasn’t healing as quickly as he should be and this was starting to be a big problem.

Lassiter had been avoiding Pea purposely for the past few days. He knew her time with him was coming to an end and was trying find another solution. He also knew that she wouldn’t mind because she had become quite found of hanging out with ladies or having tea & gossip with Mary, Manny, and Jane. She actually fit right in here, of course she fit right in she is one of us. After all the reading I’ve done this is what I come up with?nothing, nothing, not a thang. All roads lead back to her. At that moment Lassiter looked up and said out load to no one in particular, Really!! All that reading... with a deep breath Lassiter thought No need to prolong the inevitable. He arrived back at the brotherhood mansion it was right before first meal the doggen had the table set and people were already stirring about inside the house. Quinn and Blay were getting the twins seated in there high chairs. John & Xhex were playing with LW while Beth was helping the doggen arrange all the food. Everyone was slowly making there way to diningroom everyone except for Pea that is. Lassiter went down the hall and knocked on Peas room door... Pea heard the knock and said one second. The pain she was in this morning was the worst!! Nothing was working anymore.. she had to leave this house today! She gathered herself as best she could and answered the door. Oh Hi, I wasn’t expecting you this early, what’s up? Lassiter for the first time could see the pain in her eyes.. we need to talk. Okay sure, I was wondering when would I see you again... Pea opened the door and went back to sit in the edge of the bed. I have a question for you and I need the truth. Okay. Whats your question? What is your name? Lassiter you know my name... Lassiter began shaking his head back and forth don’t bullshit me, I know the name you gave me which is Pea.. But what is your name your real name the name given to you by your mahmen at birth. With deep exhale Pea stood up and said fine.. my name is Serenity.. Lassiter went to the velvet high back chair that sat across from bed and dropped in the seat like a log. He starting scrubbing hands down his face leaned back and said you cannot leave. Pea looked over in his direction and said we had a deal. I know we had a deal but that was... No, no, no... no buts... our deal was I train you for three weeks and no matter WHAT you found out I get to leave and walk away. I cannot let you leave!! Holding up the journal he asked what does this say? Tell me what does it say?! I am very capable of taking care of myself.. this is not about you taking care of yourself. Tell me what does it say? Wrath and Beth are going a great job... they don’t need me. Lassiter calmed himself and said...Pea, look at yourself? Is pain getting any better? Do you think it is just gonna go away?! Sweetheart that’s not how this works and you know it... you cannot leave this house. I will be fine! You won’t be... I’ve managed this long... You’ve managed because you weren’t in the company of the only other person that is just like you... you can’t stop your transition... Fine... I’ll leave now..and send for my things.. I need to get back to my life anyway. Pea.. was so frustrated she walked out of the room without even grabbing her Birkin bag. As she got closer to main diningroom she could feel Lassiter behind her ... aren’t you going to at least tell them goodbye? I think they deserved that much Pea turned around shot him a nasty glare and headed towards the dininroom. Everyone was there and breakfast was in full swing... perfect she thought to herself just what need a bigger audience.

Good day everyone, I just wanted to stop in to say my goodbyes. I have to leave today, I have emergency that needs my attention. I didn’t have time to gather my things Lassiter will drop them off later. Beth and Wrath I thank you so much for your hospitality my stay here was perfect in every way. Pea turned to Lassiter and said I’m ready. Lassiter gave Pea a level stare and said I must do what is best for the good of everyone. He then stepped around Pea and said to Wrath she cannot leave this house. It is a matter of life and death, it is not safe for her... you have to order her to stay! Order me??!!, I will be fine No you won’t, you are in pain as we speak! Do you think those baths are going to stop this process? I will be fine. You will die? You don’t know that... I can take care of myself. When is the last time you ate a meal? A full meal? Do you think those beets are gonna help you get through this? Wrath cut in, Lassiter if she wants to leave I will not make her stay... Thank you Wrath... Fine... you want to leave? I will personally drop you off myself but first tell him your name. Tell him your birth name given to you by your mahmen.. and I won’t say another word. Pea looked at Wrath and spoke in the old language ... “my name makes no difference a Queen has been chosen”.... knowing my name changes nothing... At that moment everyone at the table who understood the old language stopped eating and slowly turned their heads and faced Pea... Then tell him.. Pea spoke in English this time.. my name is Serenity I am the daughter and only living child of Sir Danger son of Danger the highest princeps the last surviving member of the last founding family. The next sound everyone heard was a loud crash of a fine sliver tea set hit the floor. And the person who dropped it? Fritz! The doggen stepped across the mess of spilled tea, cream and honey and walked towards Pea with both hands over his mouth. Tis you? Pea looked at Fritz with a tear rolling down her cheek and said yes its me. As she reached her hand to touch his cheek she said in the old language your sacrifice saved me..my protector.. my servant, my friend and I live because of you. Then she turned to face Lassiter and said I will leave now.

Before could Lassiter could respond.. Pea started walking toward the front door. Need a ride? Yes please. And then she was gone.

Fritz , frazzled turned to face Wrath.. apologies sire. I will have the mess clean right away. His servants snapped into action. Meanwhile everyone at the table was totally silent.. some from shock and the others didn’t know what to say. Wrath handed LW over Beth , backed away from the table and headed towards the stairs with George in tow. Without saying another word one by one all the brotherhood got up and followed suit. Lassiter and Xcor being the last two to enter his study. As soon as Lassiter entered Wrath asked... how long have you known Sounding exhausted Lassiter responded... a few days now... And you just now saying something. How can you be sure it’s her... Lassiter pulled out the journal flipped to The last page and gave it to Tohr... who then looked at it and read it aloud “and the kingdom... Wrath cut him off and finished “shall be ruled by Wrath and Serenity... But still how can you be certain it’s really her? The Scribe Virgin left the address to store she owns in one of the journals. I found the address and checked it out before I read the journal. I went there located her and we made a deal that she would help me with translating all the material left to me. In return after three weeks she could leave no questions asked. This was before you found out who she was? Correct Zadist spoke up... why do you think she is going to die? She hasn’t been through the transition yet.. someone said wait how is that even possible? another Fuck.. came through the crowd Lassiter looked over at Vishous who’s response was let me guess. My mom had something to do with this? And from what I gather, she was fine until she came in presence of the only person that could trigger it. Lucky Me.. Wrath said So what do we do? V said to Lassiter I don’t know, all I know is that if we don’t do something she will die. Butch spoke up and said.._Well there are plenty of men that I’m sure would be happy to assist her with getting through the transition, hell we have a house full of single men all she has to do is chose. It’s not that simple, Tohr responded. Then Wrath spoke up, It has to be me.. it’s my duty. As your king I believe in being totally transparent with you especially because you all are my brothers. Then Wrath took a deep breath and said. I need to save her.. I can feel it in my chest... She can’t die. So then Xcor said... what’s the move?

Downstairs the ladies were trying to wrap their heads around what had just happened. Beth sat back in her chair and asked who is Serenity daughter in Danger? Both Bella and Marissa started speaking at once... Serenity... the both looked at each other... Marissa spoke first.. long story short.. she is the female version of Wrath. She is the last full blood female vampire. Bella started talking by this point. According to our scriptures and everything we were taught... That whole family was murdered in the war that took place in the old country. I’m talking no survivors much like Wrath’s family was. So then how did she survive? Beth asked. At that time Fritz, who had re-entered the room clear his throat. Ah-hum... Madam if it would not offend I can answer that question for you. Beth quickly summoned Fritz to the table to have a seat.. please share with me.

Balthazar, Of all people... she ended up in the car with Balthazar. But hell anything to get out of that house and off of that mountain. She had been so successful for centuries keeping her true identity a secret and now that was all over. However she wasn’t about to worry about it because there were more pressing issues. She was not well, her joints were on fire and she felt like she was hit in the mouth. So where are you headed? Balthazar asked. You can just drop me off at my house. Okay After a moment or two of silence Balthazar said, I need your address and you don’t look well. He was right Peas health was declining fast. I live off of Wallace avenue and yea I know.... more silence more driving. Pea tried to adjust herself in the seat to find some comfort however nothing worked. Once on Wallace avenue Pea said White House black shutters. Balthazar pulled in slowly and Pea had never been so happy to see her home. Do you need some help inside, yes please. Balthazar put the car in park then opened his door and went around to the passenger side and opened the door for Pea. She was able to brace herself enough so that she didn’t have to put all her weight on him. He started walking her in the direction of the front door but she remembered that her keys were in her Birkin that she left at the mansion. Through the garage.. huh... let’s go through the garage, I don’t have my keys. Keys, Balthazar said with a smirk, who needs keys? We are not breaking into my house, we can use the keyless entry pad and go through the garage door. Fine we can do it your way... Pea went over to the keypad that sat at the top right panel and was painted the same color as the garage door she punched in the code 0820 and the door been to lift from the bottom. Inside her truck was right where she left it untouched... Nice Balthazar said looking at the Bentley truck.as they were walking past it he nodded his head towards door the opened to inside of the house. Can we get in there? It should already be open and it was. Pea was able to make it to her kitchen table on her on. I’m the last person to get in anybody’s business but are you sure you don’t want me to call someone. Because no offense but you look like shit. Well thank you and I will be okay I just need to get some rest. Okay well then I will let myself out and don’t worry about closing the garage I got It. So Pea sat the table another 10 minutes then stood up went back to the kitchen door opened it made sure that her garage door was closed, which it was then she closed the kitchen door and locked it. She used the security keypad in her kitchen to set the house alarm and then she went downstairs. Pea had purposely purchased a house with a basement for this reason alone. She was to a point where couldn’t protect herself due to her body trying to transition. The basement door had separate keypad which used a fingerprint for entry once the door disengaged the lights on the stairwell automatically came on ... Pea took her time and went step by step because the last thing she needed was to slip and fall. Once she reached the bottom of the stairs she could see the bed promised to be comfortable and to her right she opened the door to the bathroom... the full bathroom was nice addition to the basement because Pea didn’t have to go up 2 flights of stairs to shower. She looked at garden tub that was in the corner but she was wise enough to not try getting in there. Instead she turned on the shower water hot as she could stand it. She removed her clothes and got in. The hot water felt amazing on Peas skin but she could barely stand so with one hand on the safety rail She reached and turned the water off. Pea stepped out toweled off as best she could and put on her emerald green satin bathrobe. She took 2 steps out of the bathroom and toward the bed before her knees turned to jelly. Pea cried out in pain & fell to her knees in agony. Breathe deep just breathe deep she thought to herself. You can make it to the bed, you got this,.... Pea laid on the floor for another few minutes or it could have been a few hours before she tried to move again. This time instead of standing she crawled to side of her bed. She pushed the covers back and brushed the pillows to other side... you can do this.. you can get in bed... on the count of three girl let’s do it... 1...2...3 PULL.... Pea pulled herself up got in bed and pulled the duvet up enough to cover her waist on down. She broke out into a cold sweat as a sharp pain ripped through her gut... she thought well this is it.. this is how I will die and then passed out.

Havers gave himself one transfusion per day over the past three days and that seemed to be working. He started feeling more like himself, he was able to get rest which helped his energy levels return back to normal and he even had a little bit of an appetite. So by all accounts he was doing good. He had spoken with his sister who had informed him that she had spoken to the Queen about possibly participating in this years Crown Ball. They had a meeting with Wrath set for tomorrow and overall she was very optimistic about it. They also scheduled a lunch date with each other for Friday afternoon she would come over to the clinic this time. Havers hadn’t thought much about the menu but he knew all of his sisters favorite foods so that part was easy. Hi Dr. Havers the patient in room 4 has awaken, Okay that’s good Julie I will be right in there. The patient from last night was found by her neighbor dehydrated and disoriented. Dorothy stated she hadn’t seen her for a couple days and she couldn’t get answer on the phone so she walked over to the house to do a warfare check and there was Ms. Hunt sitting in the her favorite chair in front of the tv completely disoriented. Dorothy called out to her a couple of times before she turned her head and made eye contact. Dorothy called Havers and he sent over the ambulance to transport her to the clinic. That’s one downside to out living your spouse and growing older if you can’t afford doggen or a caregiver, the elderly are left to fin for themselves and unfortunately Ms. Hunt was showing all the signs of dementia. Hi Ms. Hunt how are you doing this evening? I am fine. Good, do you know where you are? Yes Dr. Havers I’m at your clinic. So you know who I am then. Yes sir, you are Dr. Havers. Yes ma’am and do you remember how you got here. The elderly woman got quiet Havers could tell that she was trying to remember what she did last but was having no luck. Ms. Hunt it is quite alright if you can’t recall all that matters is getting you back hydrated and healthy. Havers told Julie to put in a call to A Safe Place and explain the situation he was sure that his sister would be able to assist the women. Back in his office Havers felt a little peckish so he started eating some white rice made with coconut milk and covered in Ginger sauce. It was the only thing that he could keep on his stomach. He was hoping all the starch would help me out some weight back on. His mind rain back to the old women and her situation she had not been the first elderly patient that he treated for dehydration but her condition had definitely been the worse. It was a bummer not having any children or relatives to help take of you. Havers thought about how they took care of his mahmen until the very end. Then he glanced over at the two 4x6 pictures frames that were faced down on his desk. The pain was still fresh as if it happened yesterday and all he could do was just stare at the two objects that held what was left of a life he once lived. Someday he will have the strength to either stand them upright or put them away for good.

There was knock outside of Wrath’s office door before he could asked who is it, Beth answered it’s me Wrath we need to talk. She is the only person that could ever get away with interrupting a botherhood meeting. Meeting adjourned, you may enter . John opened the door and was the first out followed by all the rest. Beth said to them stay close by I won’t be long. Beth let everyone out then she walked in with LW on her hip, her hellren back up from his desk and stood to greet her. LW reached for his father as he always did and Wrath happily accepted him into his arms. Wrath sat back down in his chair and Beth sat on his lap. You have to save her Wrath... I know who she is and what she was meant to be. She is too important to the out race to let go, she belongs here with us. Wrath pulled his leelan close nuzzled his nose close to vein in her neck that he fed from and whispered I love you and I don’t deserve you. With a giggle Beth put her hands on the sides of her hellrens face and pulled him in close kissed him and said ... Let us go so that you can get back to work. I will send everyone back inside Beth opened the door thank everyone for their patience and sent them all back inside. After everyone was back in the office Wrath said we will be going to get Pea. Lassiter do you know where we can find her? She left in the car with Balthazar Xcor said, I will hit him up and see where he took her. Xcor called Balthazar put him on speaker right then.. What’s happening? The female Pea left here with you correct? Yes I dropped her off on Wallace Ave, White House black shutters.... after a moment Balthazar added if y’all going to get her, y’all might want to hurry because when I left there she was in bad shape. With that the line ended.. Lassiter spoke up I have the address and Butch said we have been there before I can get back there in no time. Wrath said I’m coming with you, I have too. With Wrath coming that meant all hands on deck. The brotherhood along with the band of bastards would be on high alert. We will meet downstairs in 10mins let’s move. With that everyone left the office went and put their gear on. Rhage walked into his room and saw Mary laying across the bed even though he received direct orders from the king he was drawn over to the bed. He couldn’t help himself... He bent over and dropped his big chest against Marys little body.. she greeted him with a smile on her face and said well hello you. To what do I owe this pleasure he bent down to kiss either side her neck and all of a sudden he felt need to feed. He fought the urge kissed her and then pulled back up to face her. You smell amazing..did you change shampoos or soaps? He let up off the bed and headed towards the walk-in closet. We have to go get Pea and bring her back here.. so I will be gone for a while. Okay, I’m happy that Wrath has decided to have her brought back here. Yea, he is actually coming along this time. With a yawn Mary said please be careful honey. Always, I love you and I will see you when I return. With that Rhage shut door and headed towards the stairs. When he reached the bottom he was joined Zadist, Phury, Butch, Zcor, & Quinn. Within minutes everyone else was there and they were loading into a series of vehicles. When the king left the mansion everyone was on top of their shit. . As they road Wrath was mentally preparing himself for the worst remembering how badly his transition and beat him down. 10mins later Butch was making the right intron Wallace Ave when they pulled into the driveway. Vishous through up an mhis then The security detail got out and swept the area first before Wrath’s door was opened. Once everything in the perimeter was clear Tohrment opened the back door for Wrath. He got out and head straight for the front door Wrath hit the doorbell a couple of times and then said to Vishous we have to get inside. She has a security system wire to house let me see if I can bypass it, the last thing we need is human law enforcement to show up. Balthazar started speaking as he walked closer to the porch go through the garage the code is 0820... I dropped her off earlier remember. So they went to garage door tohrment put in to code and door began to lift from the bottom. They all walked passed her Bentley truck to the door that opened into the house. This time it was locked But Vishous had no issues bypassing the alarm from the inside. He opened the door that led into the kitchen and Wrath made a beeline pass him to the door that lead to the basement. She’s down here open it! Vishous said this one has a fingerprint keypad may take a minute. The next thing Wrath heard was a large bang which was V using his fist to completely knock down the keypad. Tohr said it still won’t open so they stood back while he kicked the door in. The lights on the stairwell flickered on and off as Zadist went in first followed by Butch & Rhage then Wrath after him Phury, Vishous & Tohr. John, Quinn and Balthazar remained at the top of the stairwell for security protocol. Once they got to the bottom they saw Pea in bed overcome with fever, washed down in sweat. Everyone positioned themselves in a corner of the basement making sure they each had full view of the door. Wrath pulled back the Duvet carefully so that he wouldn’t expose any of her private areas and then he did his best to swaddle her with the top sheet on the bed.. he carefully placed one hand under the middle of her back and the other under the bend in her knees then as gently as he could he lifted her up off the bed. He turned around and sat down so that she was in his lap. Pea could smell Wrath but she was too weak to open her eyes, she wanted to tell him no please don’t try to save me. But her throat was so dry she felt like she swallowed a cotton ball dipped in Habanero sauce. When Wrath bent down to pick her up she could feel his hair and smell those dark spices all over him. Her fangs elongated for the first time. Even though her mind was screaming no, no, no anybody but him.. her body was reacting otherwise. When Wrath lifted her up she let out a little grunt from the pain... then she felt him sit down Wrath heard the grunt and whispered I’m sorry as he placed Pea in his lap. Wrath scored his wrist and held it up to Peas mouth. Pea you need this to survive please open for me. He rubbed his wrist across her mouth but he could tell that she was fighting her natural instincts to feed. Pea could smell Wrath’s blood but would not feed. Instead she opened her mouth fought through the pain in her throat and whispered “Beth is Queen”. Wrath responded yes Beth is Queen and the Queen sent me to get you please drink. He put his wrist back to her mouth but she gave another grunt and turned her mouth away from Wrath. Pea repeated “Beth is Queen”... Wrath knew what he needed to do. Wrath licked his wrist to seal the two punctures then pushed his hair back to expose the vein in his neck then he titled Peas face back toward him. In the old language he said, “ My Queen take from me what you need to nourish your body, as your King I am here to serve you” then he moved her up against his jugular vein and said” Now feed from my vein so that we may become one”. With that Pea lifted her head opened her mouth and struck Wrath hard. When Pea struck Wrath a force of raw energy and light emitted from them that was so strong it shook the house foundation and blew the men up against the basement walls. Wrath’s iridescent eyes were glowing at this point and he looked massive. Pea drank with great pulls she could instantly feel Wrath’s blood coursing through her veins. She took as much of Wrath’s blood as her belly could hold, released his neck, licked the wounds and passed out in his arms. Once Pea passed out Wrath stood cradling her close to his chest... looked around at his men whose eyes were also glowing and gave two orders. Rhage & Z grabbed the chest At the foot of the bed and let’s move out NOW! Butch hit the stairs first followed by Rhage & Z carrying the chest then Wrath carrying Pea after him Tohr, Vishous and Phury. When they got to the top of the stairs Quinn, John & Balathzar had recovered from the house shacking and were ready to lead the way back out. The force of energy that came out of Wrath and Pea had set off car alarms and had dogs barking & howling up and down the block. Xcor radioed to V we need to move now my guys smell trouble. Roger that let’s move guys everyone keep your eyes open. Butch, Tohr , Wrath & Pea were inside the ESV in under 30 seconds. V & Phury took Peas Bentayga and Everyone else loaded back into the same vehicles they arrived in. Just as they were leaving Pea came too this time she was able to open her eyes... Wrath tilted his head to one side again and spoke “don’t try to think just feed from me my Queen”... again Pea couldn’t control her hunger she struck Wrath’s vein hard again and took everything he had to offer. This time Wrath tried to brace himself for it but it was no use as soon as Pea struck his vein the force of raw energy shot from between them and this time they blew the transformer at the end of the block. Butch put on the high beams and followed Quinn out. Pea released Wrath after a few pulls completely satisfied. She closed her eyes and let sleep take her. When they got to the end of the block Wrath said to Havers, she has to go to Havers. Tohr radioed the change to everyone and Butch made the left to head over to Havers. Vishous went ahead and called into the clinic to reserve the private suite that was meant for exclusive clients like them. Wrath stayed there when he was shot rescuing Beth and then Butch had stayed there when the Omega got ahold of him. Now they needed it again this time for Pea. Havers would have questions as he usually does however this time Wrath was there to do the talking. The ESV pulled up to the clinic Ehlena and Havers nurse Julie were already standing outside under the breezeway waiting with a wheelchair. Julie was a trained professional and had been exposed to many different types Of people working in the clinic. Members of the glymera, older aristocratics, government officials but never the King. She tried her best to keep her composure when Tohr swung open the door to ESV hopped out walked to the back door and opened it. However inside she wanted to jump up and down and scream as if she was at a Beyoncé concert. The King emerged from the back seat and he was massive. Aah follow me your highness... Julie turned the wheelchair around and quickly walked back up the breezeway. They walked through private entrance, entered the hall passed through a door label Janitors closet, once they got in there Wrath had to turn sideways to pass through the air tunnel holding Pea. In the room Wrath carefully placed Pea on the gurney and stepped out of the way. Ehlena quickly took Peas vitals while Julie grabbed the needle and tubbing to start an IV. We are going to start her on some fluids Dr. Havers will be in shortly. Where is he now? He is finishing up with a surgery then he will be right over. Wrath turned to Ehlena and said I can not wait call me when he comes in and then walked back out. Pea felt the slight sting and the cold fluids going into her vein, her body had taken a real beating and she needed rest. Ehlena and Julie worked together to unwrap Pea out of the sheet and remove her bathrob and put it in the dirty laundry basket. They put a hospital gown on her and began to chart all of her basic info. Julie wanted ask Ehlena who this women was but she didn’t want to overstep. Maybe Dr. Havers would be able to fill her in, he was a part of the glymera surely he would know who this women was. Wrath and Tohr entered the hall to exit the building they met Lassiter walking in. Don’t worry I’m just here to sit with her. Are you sure that you want to do that? Yea, I owe her. Lassiter entered the same doorway that he saw Wrath and Tohr come out of. He walked by the monitors then entered the air shower. When he got into Peas room he was greeted by Ehlena and another nurse. Before she could ask him any questions he quickly told her that the king ordered him to stay with the patient. Ehlena followed up with “he’s apart of the kings private staff it’s fine” ... When they both left Lassiter went and stood by Peas beside. The transition hadn’t really changed her much that he could see well except for fangs of course but you couldn’t see those. He whispered to himself, You are something special aren’t you? Then he took a step back and went to sit in the recliner in the corner found the remote and turned on tv. Let’s see what’s on the boob tube.

It had been a long time since Havers received a call from the Brotherhood requesting his assistance. He wanted to be there to when they arrived however he was smack dab in the middle of another surgery. It looked like someone took a sling blade to this poor guys chest and abdomen. The brother Vishous had informed him that there would be someone coming from the kings private staff to assist with this patient. He finished up the surgery which turned out to be an intensive 5 hour ordeal, then while he was on his way to his office to change a code Blue came in. and that sent right back in the OR for another 4 hour surgery. When he was finally able to leave there, he went to his office changed out of his OR scrubs took a quick shower to refresh himself, dressed in his normal attire. Grabbed his lab coat and headed towards the private suite. As he passed by the nurses station he saw Ehlena sitting with Julie and invited her to come along with him that way she could chart while he examined the patient. When they entered the little room Havers checked the monitors and could see there was someone sitting with patient. He reviewed the notes taken when the patient was triaged by Julie, it appeared to be a normal transition nothing major he passed it off to Ehlena and started to get dressed to go through walk through the air tunnel. Havers opened the door to the Air Tunnel an was greeted by a tall man with piercings and black/blonde hair. The man was apparently introducing himself but Havers couldn’t concentrate because there was an aroma in the room that was absolutely devine. It smelled like shea butter, winterberries and peppermint he knew he should be focusing on what this man was saying, as he is a member of the Kings staff. But he was too intoxicated by the lovely scent, ... I’m merely here to sit with patient, per the Kings orders. Havers nodded his head yes in response to the gentleman then stepped around him so that he could get a view of his patient. The patient lying before him i

[asking-jude]

(1/2) Is it normal to have weird disturbing scenarios and actions play out in your head but you never act on them? is that what separates you from a serial killer? for example, sometimes when i think about someone (close or not), this thought pops up in my head, "what if i just killed them right now? what if i went downstairs, got a hammer, and smashed their head while they were sleeping?" but then i tell myself "what the hell is wrong with you?! no!" and then i resume my normal thoughts. it's

Greetings,

Thank you for writing to Asking Jude. Yes – it is normal for human beings to have weird disturbing scenarios and actions play out in your head as long as they never act on them. But the trouble begins when those horrible thoughts become reality because you chose or feel compel to act them out! I have female friends whom upon becoming a “new mother” for the first time had terrible thoughts about their newborn being hurt. They envisioned themselves falling down a flight of stairs; allowing their child to choke on food because they did not know how to avoid it; or even the child drowning in the bathtub because they left the bathroom for a few seconds to get a bath towel. All these images played out in their head in vivid color but having these images in their head only made them became extremely careful in their children’s upbringing.  Because they did not act on the intrusive thoughts, their family did make it safely through the early stages of childhood to become adults. So yes, it is normal to have disturbing or intrusive thoughts.

What is an intrusive thought? Intrusive Thoughts are unwanted thoughts or images you may find distressing and/or disturbing.  These unwanted thoughts are known as obsessions. Intrusive thoughts can also result in compulsions, which are the things you do to help you cope with the unwanted thoughts. You may believe that they mean something bad about you as a person, but once you recognize them and in what form they take within you psyche, then you will realize they do not really reflect upon you and what kind of person you really are. If you are beginning to suspect that you are having intrusive thoughts or have been diagnosed with them, then it would behoove you to gain a basic understanding about them. Just remember that this thought process happens to everyone on some level and they can take various forms. Please see the various types listed below:

Sexual

Related to Children

Violent Harm to Others

Religious 

Your Sexual Identify

Related to Family Members

Related to Death

The Need to Keep Others Safe

According to researchers at Harvard University, it was discovered that when a person tries not to have such thoughts by pushing them out of your mind, can in effect cause them to hibernate – still -  in your brain. In their study, they asked people to NOT think of a white bear. Participants were allowed to think about anything they wanted, except a white bear. The problem with taking on this challenge is that our mind wants to constantly check to see how we’re doing. We check to see if we are succeeding at NOT thinking of that white bear, and then, oh no, there’s the bear. They reported that the very act of monitoring your thoughts for the absence of a thought – can actually make it occur more frequently. 

In addition, the Harvard University research also showed when someone becomes very distressed by their intrusive thoughts; goes to great lengths to get rid of them or prevent them from occurring, then this can become a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Folks having this “bad thoughts” form of OCD often avoid things that could trigger these thoughts or being in situations where they might be at risk for acting on said thought. For example, someone might avoid taking the train, avoid using knives, or avoid holding a baby. In situations in which they can’t avoid, they may turn to rituals, such as repetitive counting, or compulsive prayer to prevent anything bad from happening. If this sounds familiar to you, then you may want to find out more by contacting your mental health professional.

Please remember this: Everyone gets intrusive thoughts, I get them. The problem is not in the thought itself, but rather what you do with the thought. In my case, if I get a random thought I consider to be bad if it was considered further, then I just carry on with whatever I am doing at the time and pay no attention to it. I make a conscience decision to not be bothered by the thought knowing if I act on it, it would bring hurt, harm or danger to my world. The only difference between an intrusive thought that pops into your head and then leaves, and an intrusive thought that is distressing, is how you respond to it. I hope this helps you.

Be Aware of Your Thoughts, 

Gwendolyn

Asking Jude needs YOUR help! Donate pocket change here and save our safe space. 

[sriramworld]

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