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lucidlivi · 1 year

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Never Been You

Requested: @hzllxhoundxx

Everything Tag List: @jc-winchester @mrsjenniferwinchester @perpetualabsurdity @antisocialcorrupt @heavenlyackles @anixiiee @jackles010378 @suckitands33 @deans-spinster-witch @k-slla @alternativeprincess @spnbaby-67 (if you'd like added to my everything tag list, please indicate by saying "please tag me in everything Jensen/Dean")

Warnings: Angst, Demon Dean, Kidnapping, Violence, Mature Themes, Demon Dean Being an Absolute Dick

Following S10 E2, S10 E3 (of course with my twist!)

I got carried away so this is a hella long one for you guys!

"you need to get to Beulah North Dakota now!" I rushed out to Castiel who was on the other end of the phone call.

"I do?"

"yes, Crowley and Dean were there, we have to pick up their trail."

I looked over to see Sam in the truck hunched over in pain.

"good, great."

I felt the emotions wash over me for what felt like the thousandth time since seeing the footage of Dean, our Dean, sporting black eyes. Castiel has no idea.

"Not exactly, Cas, Dean's a Demon." I said feeling the unshed tears slip from my eyes.

"Dean's a Demon? How?"

"It's the mark Cas, it messed him up, I don't know." I cried.

"that's a vast understatement." Castiel grumbled.

"look Cas, I know you're not feeling so hot right now, but I need you, it’s sort of an all hands on deck situation, so…"

"so I'll be there."

I hopped back in the truck I had rescued Sam in and continued to drive to North Dakota. I played through every scenario in mind of how this could go, and none of them ended well.

I needed to find Dean, I needed to help him.

"I got a lead, disturbance at a night club, a rowdy patron beat a security guard senseless. It sounds like a demon thing to do." Sam said looking at his phone.

"I guess let's check it out then."

It was still daytime when we were pulling up to the strip club.

Of course Dean would end up here.

"think that's the guy?" I asked Sam, looking at a muscular security guard who was wearing a sling identical to Sam's and had two black eyes.

"I would say it's a safe bet."

I stopped the truck hopping out, followed by Sam.

"excuse me sir, is this the guy who attacked you last night?" Sam asked straight forward, showing a picture of Dean.

"that's the guy, I called 911 but he was gone before they showed up."

Damn.

I didn't expect him to still be here, but it felt like a blow to the gut to actually hear it.

"that dude get to you too?" He asked Sam referencing his sling.

"uh no, this uh is just a hunting accident." Sam responded.

"would you do us a favor, if this guy shows back up, please give us a call." I said producing a fake FBI business card with my number on it.

"you bet."

"thanks."

I ran a hand through my hair with a huff before getting back in the truck.

"what now?" I asked, feeling the tears prick at my eyes again.

I couldn't bare the thought of Dean actually being a demon.

"I don't know." Sam said in defeat.

I drove the truck to a nearby motel, renting us a room. Sam had been through hell, he needed to rest. I helped him lay down on the bed, noticing his eyes get instantly heavy.

"I'll be right back, I'm just going to get something out of the truck." I told him, rushing outside.

As soon as I stepped outside, I heard a voice that made my blood boil with anger.

"hello there love."

I turned around to see Crowley with a smirk on his face.

"did ya miss me?"

I huffed in anger, reaching behind me to pull a blade from my belt loop.

"oh so much." I growled.

"easy now, I know you're here for Dean, and I'm here to give him to you."

Is this a trick?

I could never truly trust Crowley.

"I don't understand."

"you see he's bad for business, he's.. he's become uncontrollable, must be the mark.." Crowley trails off with a smirk.

"anywho Dean's your problem now, again, forever." Crowley added.

"then where the hell is he?" I snapped, not being able to contain my anger towards the king of hell.

"ah ah, first there's a small matter of my finders fee."

"nothing ever comes free with you, wouldn't have expected anything less."

****************************************************

I hesitantly walk in to the bar not knowing what to expect. I didn't even tell Sam where I was going. I knew he didn't have the strength to fight, and I didn't want him to get hurt.

"hiya angel." Dean said looking up at me with a smirk.

I felt my breathing get heavy as I looked at him. It was Dean in the flesh, but this thing was so far from Dean. Dean was brave, he was kind, Dean cared.

"I told you to let me go." Dean said picking up his glass of whiskey and sipping it.

"you know I can't do that Dean."

He smirked, taking another sip.

"by the way, your pal Crowley, he sold you out, didn't take him much." I said stepping a bit closer.

"sounds like him."

"Dean, we can cure demons, don't you remember that?" I asked taking another step closer.

Dean picked up the first blade, walking past me in a threatening manner.

"a little latin, lot of blood, yeah it rings a bell. but did you ever stop to think that if I wanted to be cured, I wouldn't have bailed."

"Dean that was Crowley, you don't know what you're doing."

"that's what you think." Dean said pouring himself another glass of whiskey.

"well it doesn't matter Dean, whatever happened, whatever went down, we will fix it." I said cautiously taking another step towards him.

"Oh will we? Meanwhile I'm doing all I can to not come over there and rip your throat out."

"Dean you don't mean that."

"I'm giving you a chance to run sweetheart, better take it." Dean threatened.

"I'll pass." I said quickly.

“I'm not walking out that door with you, I'm just not, so what are you going to do angel, huh? Are you going to kill me?" Dean asked.

I felt a chill run down my spine at the way he called me angel. It was laced with venom.

"I didn't come here to kill you."

"why? you have no idea what I've done, in fact I might have it coming."

"I don't care Dean, you're my best friend, and I'm here to take you home. I'm here to save you."

I wanted to admit so much more to him.

I wanted to tell him that it's because I was in love with him and couldn't imagine my life without him in it. I was worried now that I wouldn't get the chance too.

I heard Dean start to chuckle.

"save me? why would you want to save me? it's never been you, you know." Dean said taking a sip.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Dean got up sauntering his way over to me. I instinctively took a step back, not trusting him. I soon found out though, the more distance I tried to put between us the closer he got. I raised my hand up putting it on his chest to stop him from getting any closer.

Dean smirked at me before twisting my arm and bringing his hand up to my throat. He pinned me to the wall a twisted look in his eyes. I felt a chill run down my spine, he was getting pleasure out of this.

"I see the way you look at me, the way you lust for me, you want me." Dean smirked.

I glared at him, trying to turn my face away, his hold on my throat getting tighter.

"you don't want to kill me because you're in love with me, and you have been for quite some time, haven't you?"

I couldn't speak, Dean's hold on me was too tight. I furrowed my eyebrows as if to convey he wasn't right, even though he was.

"and its never been you for me.. you see while you've been trying to find me, trying to save me, i've been fucking everything with a heartbeat." Dean growled.

I could feel the tears brim my eyes as his words cut in to me. I knew he was just trying to hurt me, but part of me wondered if that's how Dean actually felt.

He let go of my throat, shoving me to the floor. I instantly stood back up taking out the handcuffs from my back pocket.

"you really think those are going to work sweetheart?" Dean asked with a smirk.

"well there's one way to find out."

As I took a step forward, the window shattered and the entire room started filling with smoke. I looked to my left to see someone had threw a smoke grenade. I felt the air rush from my lungs as I breathed in the smoke. I put my shirt over my mouth and nose, trying to find an exit. I started to cough, as my vision got blurry.

I finally found the emergency exit, pushing it open. I saw the silhouette of a man on the other side as I collapsed from smoke inhalation. He struck me across the face hard, causing me to fall back to the ground, hitting my head in the process.

I was seeing stars as I sat clutching my bleeding head. Dean came out glaring the man down. I heard them exchange some words, but couldn't make out exactly what they were saying.

I noticed myself start to slip in and out of consciousness.

I saw them start to fight, Dean clearly having the upper hand.

I felt like my head was on fire, as I glanced up seeing Dean holding the first blade to the guys neck. He was going to kill him. I was surprised when he dropped him, tucking the blade back in to his pocket. I tried to muster up any strength I could to get up, but my body was betraying me. Dean walked over to me, a sick grin etched on to his face as he swayed his hips.

"Dean please." I choked out.

"time to sleep now baby."

Dean raised his hand striking me, and that's the last thing I remember before my world went dark.

****************************************************

I was in agonizing pain as I fluttered my eyelashes open. I panicked as I couldn't move my body. I looked down to see my arms and legs were bound to a wooden chair. I gathered from my surroundings that I was in some kind of warehouse, but I didn't recognize where.

"oh good, you're awake."

Dean came over crouching in front of me so we were eye level.

"let me go." I growled.

"can't do that angel." He said caressing my cheek.

I quickly moved my head away, causing his hand to fall.

"you don't want to provoke me." Dean growled.

"or what? you're going to kill me?"

Dean gave a sickly sweet smile. He leaned in close whispering in my ear.

"or you're going to wish you were dead."

"I'm not scared of you Dean." I snapped.

Dean lets out a chuckle, standing to his feet.

"I knew there was a reason I liked you so much, feisty little thing."

"why don't you let me out of these ropes and I'll show you just how feisty I can be."

Dean chuckled again, grabbing a bottle of whiskey taking a sip.

"I don't even know why I'm talking to you, this isn't even the real you." I scoffed.

"oh it's the real me alright, the new real me, the me who sees things for what they actually are."

I scoffed again rolling my eyes at his words.

"hunters, do-gooders, fighting the natural order, well let me tell you something sweetheart people like me, we are the natural order."

"yeah well people like me still gotta do what we can." I growled.

Dean smirked as he crouched back down to my eye level.

"oh don't be so full of yourself baby, cause you see from where I'm sitting, there ain't much difference from what I turned in to, to what you already are." Dean smirked.

"and what is that supposed to mean?" I growled.

Dean took one hand resting on my cheek, the other on the back of my neck so I couldn't move away from him again.

"I know what you did when you went looking for me, how far you went." Dean whispered, dangerously close to my face.

I felt the guilt sink back in.

I just kept telling myself I did what I had to in order to find Dean. I felt my breathing quicken as Dean came in closer, practically brushing his lips against mine.

"so let me ask you baby, which one of us is really the monster?"

I felt the tears brimming my lashes as Dean stared at me. Dean smirked as he stood back up.

"Now you and Sammy were trying to get a twenty on Crowley and me from any demon you could snag, but Crowley didn't want to be found, and no one showed when you summoned. But you my angel, you found your own way didn't you?"

I was ridden with guilt as I remembered how I tricked Lester in to summoning a demon to make a deal.

"You would've liked to have gotten there before the deal went down but you didn't really care about poor ol' Lester did you? Oh and just so you know, I uh killed Lester myself." Dean smirked as if it were funny.

"I never meant.." I started to choke out but Dean cut me off.

"who cares what you meant, that line that we thought was so clear between us and the things we hunted, ain't so clear is it?" Dean yelled.

I bit my lip to stop the tears from falling.

"wow, you know, you might actually be worse then me. I mean you took a guy at his lowest, used him, and it cost him his life and his soul, nice work baby." Dean said crouching back down.

I spit in his face, the anger I was feeling towards him boiling over. Dean angrily wiped his face off with the hem of his shirt.

"there's no point in trying to bring your best friend back now." Dean growled.

"oh I’ll bring him back, if it's the last thing I do." I growled.

"In fact, your uh guilt ridden, weight-of-the-world best friend, has been M.I.A. for quite some time now. I have to say though, I'm loving the new model, lean, mean, Dean."

I rolled my eyes turning my head away from him.

"I can't believe you're still trying! I mean, I couldn't wait to get away from you. I chose the king of hell over you! I guess I was just tired of having to coddle you, always having to yank your ass out of the fire. Do you ever stop to think that just your very existence sucks the life out of my life?" Dean said.

I could feel the tears run down my cheeks as he spoke.

"this isn't my best friend talking, he would never say those things." I spoke, more for my benefit than for his.

"you never had a best friend, just an excuse for wimping out, and guess what angel, I quit."

"no, you don't get to quit, we don't quit, okay you and me Dean we're bonded whether you like it or not, and this bond is all that we've got." I cried.

"well then we've got nothing." Dean smirked.

I looked down at the floor, praying that Sam had noticed I was gone. I was praying to Castiel to come find me. I knew if it came down to it, I couldn't kill Dean, even if it meant he'd kill me. I was praying for another solution.

I heard the door open and the sound of heeled footsteps against the floor.

"you brought us a play thing?"

I looked up to see a female, she wore black eyes similar to Deans.

"not us, mine." Dean growled at the girl who took a step closer to me.

"but I want to play too." she smirked coming over to me, brushing a piece of hair off my bare shoulder.

I shivered at her touch, trying to move away with what limited space I had.

"I said no." Dean growled.

I glanced up meeting Dean's eyes and for a second, just a second, I could see he wasn't totally gone.

"have you gone soft on us Winchester?"

"ha, not even, but you see that one's kind of a special project of mine, and I want to kill her myself." Dean smirked staring at me.

"okay, then I won't kill her."

As she said this, she shoved the chair back, causing me to hit my head on the concrete below. I grunted as the air was knocked out of my lungs.

"I'll just hurt her." she laughed.

"Dean please." I pleaded, struggling to breathe.

"Dean's gone." the woman whispered, running a hand through my hair.

"Dean I know you're in there. I'm begging you. I always rely on you because I know I can. Dean you're the most selfless person I know. I know that somewhere inside you still care. I know you don't want to hurt me Dean." I cried.

As I was putting on my show, I managed to wiggle one of my arms free. I reached around to grab my blade that was hidden in my belt loop, but I didn't feel anything.

"are you looking for this?" she smirked, inspecting the demon blade.

"go back to hell where you belong." I snapped.

"nice show, even almost had me fooled for a second." I heard her laugh.

She held the blade to my cheek. I could feel my breathing quicken as she ran the blade down my cheek towards my neck. She pressed in just enough to draw a small trickle of blood. I looked past her to try to reason with Dean again but I didn't see him.

I suddenly felt blood splatter on my face. It was coming from the woman's mouth as Dean plunged the first blade deeper in to her spine. I watched the life leave her eyes in an instant. Dean grunted as he ripped the blade out, her now lifeless body slumping over my own. He threw her body off of me, picking the chair back up.

He started to pace around the room as if he wasn’t sure what just happened.

"look what you made me do!" Dean yelled.

"Dean, let me go, and then I can help you." I whimpered weakly.

Dean glared at me, his eyes going black before flashing back to his normal green ones. Dean growled, opening the door to the room before slamming it shut leaving me alone.

I had to get out of here. I noticed my blade still on the ground, just a few feet from where I sat. If I can get to it, I can cut myself free.

I leaned over as far as I could, causing the chair to tip over sideways. I once again smacked my head on the concrete as I fell. I groaned at the impact but shook it off, using my free arm to pull myself closer to the knife. I reached out my arm, my fingers just barely grazing the handle.

"come on!" I exclaimed, trying to grip it again.

I finally managed to wrap my fingers around the handle of the blade. I breathed a momentary sigh of relief, cutting my other arm free from the ropes than cutting my ankles free. I stood up weakly looking for an exit. I took my sleeve, wiping the blood off my face.

I wasn't sure how much of it was hers, and how much of it was my own.

I finally saw a red exit sign. I mustered up all my strength sprinting over to it. I put my hand on the door, but suddenly stopped.

I couldn't leave him.

I wouldn't.

I was debating with myself when I heard a loud growl. Dean must've come back and noticed I was gone.

"you're coming home whether you like it or not." I whispered, running through the warehouse.

I could hear Dean walking after me, opening doors as he went. It was eery how calm he walked.

"come on baby, don't you want to hang out with me, spend a little quality time." Dean yelled.

I quieted my breathing as I found the keys to the electrical room. I moved quietly against the walls towards the room.

I heard Dean kick down some doors, growling every time I wasn't behind one of them. I managed to get to the electrical room. I fumbled with the keys trying to unlock the door.

"fuck" I muttered in frustration.

I finally got in, and immediately pulled every switch I could, killing the power.

"that's smart angel, but now I know where to find you." Dean growled as he rushed towards where I was.

I hid against the wall waiting for him. I heard him enter quietly, looking around for me.

"come on out angel, you're just making things worse for yourself." Dean growled.

I rushed over to the door, just as Dean threw the switches back, restarting the power.

"now this is me yanking your ass out of the fire." I spit slamming the door and locking him inside.

I heard Dean chuckle.

"this is your big plan, locking me in?"

"Dean, just please come with me and we can cure you." I said holding out my demon blade.

It was completely silent.

"Dean?"

I jumped in fright as Dean banged on the door, slowly splitting the wood.

"you act like I wanna be cured, personally I like the disease." Dean growled, using a hammer he found to break the door down.

"Dean stop! I don't want to use this blade on you!" I yelled holding it out further in front of my body.

"that sucks for you doesn't it angel, cause you really mean that." Dean smirked, hitting the door with the hammer again.

"Dean if you come out of that room, I won't have a choice." I whimpered, choking back tears.

"oh sure you will, and I know which one you'll make, isn't that right baby?" Dean growled smacking the door harder.

I knew the door wouldn't hold him much longer.

"I'm lucky though, cause there's just enough demon left in me that killing you, ain't gonna be a choice at all." Dean growled continuing to break the door down.

I felt the tears streaming down my face at this point. I could see the door giving way. I turned around sprinting away before it broke completely. I heard one last loud bang before the door gave way. Dean's heavy footsteps were once again behind me.

"come on angel, lets kiss and make up. I'm tired of playing let's finish this game." Dean growled.

I leaned against the wall taking a deep breath. I didn't have the strength to continue. I knew I was no match for him.

I glanced down the corridor where I thought Dean was coming from. I didn't see him though.

I turned around just in time to see a hammer flying towards my head. I ducked quickly, pushing my demon blade against Dean's throat. I could hear Dean chuckle as he looked at me, raising his hands in mock surrender.

"well, well look at you baby, go on do it." Dean growled leaning in to the knife.

I felt the tears cloud my vision as I slowly dropped the knife.

I couldn't kill him.

I watched as Dean's eyes went black. He gripped my throat throwing me against the wall before slamming me on the ground. I watched him take out the first blade, bringing it above his head.

"Dean I love you."

I closed my eyes, waiting for death to come.

But it didn't.

I opened my eyes to see Dean growling, as if he was fighting an inner battle with himself, a battle for his soul. I caught sight of Castiel sneaking up behind Dean, wrapping him in his arms. Dean growled, trying to get out of his grasp.

"Dean it's over." Cas said his eyes flashing their beautiful blue.

Dean collapsed in CastieI's arms, before I slapped the demon cuffs on him. I felt myself relax as I saw Sam rushing to my side.

****************************************************

"I'll meet you guys soon, just one thing left to do." I said holding the first blade in my hand.

"Be careful." Sam said placing a kiss on my forehead.

I gave him a nod, watching him get in the impala with Castiel and a still unconscious Dean. I sighed as they pulled away from me.

"you can stop hiding now." I called.

I saw Crowley emerge from the shadows, a smirk on his face as he eyed the blade.

"pleasure doing business with you." He spoke reaching his hand out.

I quickly pulled it out of his reach.

"what are you going to do with it?" I inquired.

"oh toss it in a volcano, leave it on the moon, i'll get creative." He laughed.

I hesitantly eyed him.

"believe me love, I don't want Dean getting his hands on the precious any more than you do. he knows I've ratted and he tends to hold a grudge....I don't want to get how you say boned."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"besides a deals a deal."

I huffed before handing the blade over to him.

"I hope you know this doesn't make us square, quite the opposite actually, I swear Crowley if I see you again.." I started but he cut me off.

"oh stop it love, no one likes a tease."

I glared at him one last time before hopping in the truck, starting the drive back to Kansas.

I felt like my head was going to explode from everything that had happened in such a short time. Dean's words replayed in my head on a continuous loop.

It wasn't him, I know that. It didn't make anything he said any less hurtful though.

It's never been you.

You see while you've been trying to find me, trying to save me, I've been fucking everything with a heartbeat.

Do you ever stop to think that just your very existence sucks the life out of my life?

I felt the tears cloud my vision, making the road harder to see. I pulled over to the side of the road and cried. I let out every emotion I'd been holding in.

I cried for Dean, I cried for what he went through. I cried for me. I cried for the strain that this was going to put on our relationship. I just cried.

I didn't know how long I'd been crying but I finally collected myself enough to start driving again. I knew that Sam and Castiel could handle Dean. I'm sure they were already back in Kansas, starting the purified blood cure on Dean.

I didn't even know if I was ready to face him again. I spilled my darkest secret to Dean, fearing that I would be dead and never having the chance to tell him.

Dean didn't kill me though.

He could have very easily, I didn't put up much of a fight.

But he didn't.

I was praying that maybe some part of him felt something for me too.

I managed to make the rest of the drive to Kansas. I pulled up to the bunker, hearing Dean growl as the demon was expelled from his body. I hesitantly walked over seeing him slumped over in a chair, much like I was hours ago. Sam injected another syringe of purified blood in to his arm.

"what the hell are we doing to him guys? I mean even after everything he said he didn't want to be cured, that he didn't want to be human." I spoke, feeling the tears that I was sure I had cried all out, start to rim my eyes once again.

"well, I can see his point, you know, only humans can feel real joy, but also such profound pain." Castiel said staring directly at me while talking about pain.

"I guess this is easier." Sam added.

I was about to respond when Dean groaned, trying to move. He raised his head, showing us his black eyes, before they returned to their shade of green.

Dean groaned hoarsely before exhaling a big breath. He looked at the three of us confused, as if everything was coming back to him.

"you look worried guys." Dean spoke up.

I could feel Dean's eyes stay on me. He stared at me intently. I just hoped I didn't look as broken as I felt.

Castiel, Sam, and I gave each other a look, all wondering the same thing. Was Dean back?

Sam uncapped the holy water throwing it on to Dean's face. I sighed with relief when he didn't have a reaction to it. Sam smiled at us. I was still a little apprehensive as was Castiel.

"Dean, we've missed you." Sam said.

Castiel and Sam unchained Dean, helping him to his feet. I felt like every word I wanted to say was stuck in my throat. Dean stared at me as the boys led him to his room. He was weak, the blood cure taking a lot out of him.

How was I even supposed to talk to him about this?

Castiel and Sam returned quickly after getting Dean settled.

"how's he doing?" I asked the boys.

"he's still a little out of it, but better. I mean I think the blood cure, all of it, it really wrecked him you know." Sam said giving me an apologetic look.

It was silent for a moment.

"on the plus side, he's hungry again so I'm going to go pick us up some food, you guys mind keeping an eye?" Sam added grabbing the keys to the impala.

I nodded my head as he walked out. Castiel was unnaturally quiet.

"what is it Cas?"

"one problem is solved, but one still remains. Dean is no longer a demon, that's true, but the mark of cain, that he still has, and sooner or later that's going to become an issue.”

I knew he was right, Castiel always was.

"one battle at a time Cas." I half smiled.

Castiel looked at me with a sad face. It was no use hiding my emotions from him because the angel always figured it out. Castiel stepped up, wrapping his arms around me in a hug. I felt a tear cascade down my cheek as I sunk in his embrace.

"I'm uh, going to get cleaned up." I whispered.

I felt every muscle in my body aching as I walked to the bathroom. I cringed when I saw my reflection in the mirror. I looked like hell.

I sported a hand shaped bruise around my throat, along with a cut from my knife. I had a gash on my head, and my face was still crimson colored from the blood. I could see various other bruises forming all over. I licked over my lip that was busted from being thrown against the wall by Dean.

I definitely looked as broken as I felt.

I sighed as I stepped in to the steady stream of water, the sound of the water slapping against my skin drowned out my sobs. I scrubbed my skin until it felt raw.

I got out wrapping the towel tightly around my body. I tiptoed past Deans room. I couldn't help my curiosity as I heard Dean and Castiel talking.

"thank you, for stepping in when you did... has uh she talked to you? what does she say, does she want anything to do with me?" Dean asked.

I could hear the hurt in his voice. It made me hurt more.

"I'm sure she knows whatever you said, whatever you did, that wasn't really you, I mean it certainly wasn't all of you." Castiel reassured.

"Cas, I tried to kill her. Did you see her? I did that! I can't take back the things I said Cas." Dean said.

"Dean I feel I can be honest with you. You two have been through so much together, you're bonded. It'll take a lot more than you trying to kill her with a hammer to get her to walk away." Castiel said.

"you realize how screwed up our lives are that, that even makes sense?" Dean says causing Cas to chuckle.

"I think you should talk to her, and then maybe you should uh take some time, allow both of you to heal."

I heard Castiel exit Dean's room, closing the door. He gave me a wordless look as he passed, signifying that his words were just as much meant for me as they were for Dean.

Castiel the wise.

Of course I couldn't walk away from Dean.

I sighed as I walked to my room, quickly throwing on some clothes. As soon as I lay in my soft bed, I realize how burnt out I was. I heard a soft knock on my door.

"yeah?" I called out hesitantly.

"it's me, the real me."

I felt the air get caught in my throat.

"come in."

Dean opened the door slowly. I could see the hurt flashing in his eyes at he looked at me. I sat up not meeting his eyes. Dean walked over, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"(y/n), I.."

"you don't have to apologize Dean, I know that wasn't you." I spoke.

"it doesn't make it any less shitty though." He said through gritted teeth.

"or hurt any less." I admitted.

Dean ran a hand through his hair in frustration. I could see that this was really hurting him.

"but you could've killed me, and you didn't, you saved me, you stopped yourself." I said finally meeting his eyes.

"I couldn't kill you. I feel for you too much, even as a demon." Dean whispered, hesitantly looking at me.

I felt my heart swell up at his words.

"what I said, it wasn't true." Dean said, sliding just a bit closer to my body.

"it's okay if part of it was, it's never been me and that's okay." I said feeling my heartache.

Dean looked at me as if I had three heads.

"never been you? It's always been you."

I felt the tears run down my cheeks as Dean put a hand up, caressing one of them.

"Dean I don't know how we move on from this." I cried.

"I don't know either, but we're going to do it, together, just like always."

I smiled at Dean for the first time.

"there's my Dean." I whispered.

Dean leaned in slowly, leaning his forehead against mine.

"did you mean what you said?" Dean asked hesitantly.

I gave him a confused look.

"that you love me, did you mean it?"

I swallowed nervously as I stared at him. I slowly nodded my head adverting my eyes from his gaze. Dean grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him.

I gasped as Dean crashed his lips on to mine. I was shocked so naturally I was still. Once my brain processed what was happening I pressed my lips against his, kissing him as if my life depended on it. He pulled away slowly, keeping his forehead pressed to mine.

“I love you too, I always have.” Dean spoke.

I felt the tears well in my eyes again, but these tears were different. These weren’t tears of sadness, they were tears of pure love.

Dean smiled as he reconnected our lips together in a heated kiss. It was lustful, neither one of use being able to contain the passion we had felt for each other for far too long.

Dean slid his hands under my shirt, gripping on to my hips as he deepened the kiss. I was so caught up in the moment I ignored my muscles screaming at me to stop. Dean brought my shirt over my head, breaking the kiss just long enough to do so. I felt insecure as my bare chest was now exposed for him. I panted as he brought his lips down to my neck gently kissing over the bruise.

“I’m so sorry sweetheart.” Dean said in between kisses.

I grabbed the hem of his shirt taking it off. I saw the mark of cain glistening on his forearm. I brought his arm to my lips, slowly kissing over the mark. Dean pushed me back on the bed so he was hovering over me. I gasped as his hands slid there way down my body to my shorts.

It was slow and passionate. I felt like my skin was on fire every time his fingertips met my skin. Dean dragged my shorts down my legs, his fingers brushing against my sensitive heat.

I wasted no time putting my hands in his pants yanking them down over his butt and down his legs. I was surprised to feel that he was already fully erect.

“do you want this?” Dean asked kissing my lips.

“more than i’ve ever wanted anything.”

Dean, with my consent slowly slid himself in to me. I groaned as my body adjusted to his large girth. He started to move at a slow pace, savoring the feeling of finally being together so intimately.

“It’s always been you.” Dean said as he thrusted deeply.

I don’t think either of us had the energy for the sex we really wanted to have but this sex was sweet, and full of love. I moaned as Dean picked up the pace, but still savoring the feeling of every thrust inside of me. I brought my hips up matching his thrusts. I was a moaning mess as we thrusted against each other, our lips crashing with each thrust.

“Dean” I moaned signifying that I was close.

Dean thrusted some more, softly but at a steady rhythm. I moaned one last time as I felt myself spilling over the edge. I was gripping him so hard, it cause him to release his arousal too. Dean’s body gave out as he collapsed beside me.

“hey guys I got the… oh god really Dean?” Sam said dropping the bag of food and covering his eyes.

I laughed at him, joined by Dean.

“not even back twenty four hours and this is how you’re spending your time.” Sam groaned in embarrassment.

“blame Cas, he’s the one that told us we should talk.” Dean laughed.

Sam backed out of my room, shutting the door behind him. I gazed at Dean but found out he was already staring at me.

“I didn’t save you, you saved me.” Dean whispered tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

“I’ll always save you Dean.”

“Always?”

“Always.”

Author Note:

I really hope you guys like it! If you feel so inclined please leave a heart, comment, reblog or a follow! I appreciate it!

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arjwrites · 2 months

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I'm not the same annon that requested it(I'm not that creative) but could we get a sequel to the saving grace fic?? Like, I was reading it and it was so good I was soo invested in the story and then it ended 😭😭 I've been looking for any Cas fics in general but I think yours are by far the Greatest💕💕

Saving Grace pt. 2 - Castiel x GN!Reader

Summary: Part 2 to Saving Grace!

Warnings: References to sex, use of Y/N. GN!Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

A/N: HEHEHE this one was a little silly but I love it. I feel like it ends really abruptly but I really wanted to get it done. I think I am going to write a little epilogue blurb to finish this, look for that sometime next week! Thanks for requesting this anon, I hope you enjoy <3

Link to Epilogue

Since your initial encounter with Cas’s wings, the two of you had fallen into a regular routine. At the end of the day, whether the team had just finished a difficult hunt or many long hours of research, Cas would pull you aside to discretely ask for your assistance, and the two of you would tuck yourselves away from the Winchesters for some privacy.

“Y/N, could you… Check out my wings again? Something feels off.” He’d ask, usually averting your gaze.

“Of course, Cas!” The chance to touch his wings always excited you, but you quickly worked to calm yourself, to play things cool. “I will, uh, be in the other room when you’re ready.”

In the last few weeks, the angel had asked you to comb through his wings more times than he had ever mentioned them in the years you had known him. And more often than not, you never found any debris to remove or injury to assess. You found this peculiar, but you never said a word about it. Grooming through Cas’s wings was a job that you carried out carefully, dutifully, accepting your salary in the form of quality time with your dear angel.

Sometimes, when you and Cas would hide away to share this secret ritual, the angel would talk, and you would listen. He’d tell you about heaven, about things he had seen in his time on Earth, and all the things that weighed heavy on his mind. Other times, he was quiet. In these times, you would take the lead. You would tell him about your childhood or recount stories of your life before his arrival. He would listen intently, committing every detail to memory. Your heart would swell when he would bring up something you had told him in another conversation. He was so considerate.

Beyond being an emotional release for the two of you, the physical sensation was like nothing else either of you had experienced. For Cas, it was a relief and relaxation that he hadn’t experienced in as long as he had occupied his vessel on Earth. Sometimes it felt as if his grace, his true form, was bottled up tight inside of him, threatening to spill over. But in these moments with you, he could let it slip out of him, and feel the cool breeze that was your touch rippling through his feathers. And for you, it was divine in every sense of the word. It was more than just the softness and majesty of his wings. With each stroke of your fingers, a feeling of such peace came over your body. It was like the moment of warmth you felt when Cas healed you after a hunt- only stretched from a brief second into minutes, hours. It took a long time for you to grow comfortable holding casual conversation while working through Cas’s wings. You often felt that they demanded your full attention- like they were using their incandescent glow to speak to you in a language you had never learned yet understood perfectly. But you often reminded yourself that this time was for Cas, so you counted yourself lucky and chatted along with the angel for the sake of his comfort.

As this routine became more commonplace, it grew to drag on longer and longer. Initially, you and Cas were quick, subtle, doing your best to fly under the radar so that Sam and Dean wouldn’t notice your absences. But there was something about spending this time with him that was so intoxicating. Each time you would linger in each other’s presence for a few extra precious moments. Sometimes, you would disappear together for hours on end. Cas would typically leave the Winchesters in a frantic or distant state, and return serene and satisfied. Undoubtedly, the boys were starting to take notice.

Today was one of those days where your time with Cas had been greatly extended. You both had gotten caught up swapping stories about the most beautiful things you had ever seen. You had gone on and on about the glimpse of the northern lights you and the boys had caught when a hunt had taken you up to Canada, while Cas had described wonders both heavenly and earthly that you could barely imagine. But the whole time, there was something lingering beneath the surface. When he had first asked you the question, you had desperately wanted to scream out You, Castiel. Your wings, your grace, your presence. You are the most beautiful thing I have had the pleasure of knowing. But, of course, you did not. And it seemed like there was something left unsaid on both sides, because when Cas talked through his own answer, he had hesitated before speaking and trailed off after finishing, in a way that was so different from his usual direct and succinct tone.

After finishing the routine, you had retreated to your room, your mind racing through every possible thought Cas could have been thinking. The angel, on the other hand, had ventured out into the bunker, only to find Sam and Dean perched in waiting. Cas acknowledged them both, intending to keep the interaction brief, but it seemed the brothers had different plans.

“Where have you been, Cas?” Dean gruffed in an accusatory tone.

“What do you mean?” he asked, avoidantly.

Sam and Dean shared a quick look, silently communicating in their typical Winchester telepathy. Cas watched, unsure of their intentions, but nevertheless eager to get out of the conversation as soon as possible.

“You’ve been spending an awful lot of time with Y/N, recently,” Sam noted, inching carefully towards the topic.

“Yes, I have.” It was true. Another Winchester glance ensued.

“So, uh… What have you guys been… doing?” Dean questioned.

Cas thought for a moment. This wasn’t something he wanted to share with the Winchesters- it was something sacred shared between the two of you. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Sam and Dean, but there was something about the act that felt so vulnerable. Plus, it wouldn’t take them long to realize what Cas was up to. He definitely didn’t need this sort of grooming on a regular basis- it was all a ruse to be close to you, alone. It was one of the few pleasures he allowed himself to take part in, and in some ways he felt guilty- like it was wrong to let you do this for him, like he was using you. And if the boys found his secret out, would they tell you? He had to deflect.

“Y/N has been helping me,” was all he could come up with in response.

“Helping you with what, Cas?” Sam probed, not ready to let him out easy.

Again, Cas stalled for a beat. “With some private business.”

“Well Cas, whatever it is, we can help too,” Dean stood, beginning to inch towards the angel.

“No.” His gaze hardened. This is where his heart would’ve started beating faster, if it did that kind of thing.

“No?” Confusion and the slightest hint of anger laced Dean’s voice. “Cas, that’s what we’re here for. Is it dangerous?”

“No. It’s intimate. Not any of your business.”

At this, Sam and Dean shared a third look, this one very different from the first two. This time, their eyes were wide, their mouths opening and closing in tandem as if volleying the same thoughts back and forth, neither sure how to articulate them. After a deafening few moments of silence, Dean spoke.

“So… You’re being… Intimate, with Y/N…” he trailed off.

“Yes.” He nodded, hoping they would accept that and move on, not understanding the connotations of his words.

“And you… You care about Y/N… Right?” Sam chimed in.

Cas furrowed his brow. “Of course I do. Very much so. This isn’t something I would do with someone I didn’t love.” His tone was matter-of-fact. Of course he loved you. Maybe he hadn’t yet told you, but… Of course he did.

“Okay. Okay. Good.” The boys nodded to each other as if offering some sort of approval that Cas had not been seeking after. And when they turned to look back at him, the angel was gone.

Your slippered feet flopped against the hard floors of the bunker as you traveled the distance between your room and the kitchen, on a pilgrimage in search of a snack. The bunker felt eerily quiet- you didn’t run into either Winchester nor your angel during your journey. It wasn’t until you closed the fridge, satisfied with your selection, and turned to retreat, that you noticed Sam and Dean behind you. Your heart leapt out of your chest at the jump-scare, but they wasted no time in speaking.

“Hey, so, uh, we heard what’s been going on.” Dean was awkwardly scratching the back of his neck as he spoke.

“Yeah, and we wanted to say… You guys don’t have to like, hide it anymore, or anything,” Sam added.

“I mean we don’t want to, like, see you do it-” Dean chimed in.

“Right! Right. We don’t. But-”

“What the hell are you guys talking about?” You interjected.

“Well Cas told us what you two have been doing. Don’t worry, it wasn’t like a ‘kiss and tell,’ we had to pry it out of him-”

“And what exactly did he say we were doing?”

The boys looked at each other sideways, as if a silent rock paper scissors was determining who would speak. It seemed that Dean had lost.

“Well the word he used was being ‘intimate.’” Dean made air-quotes as he spoke. “It was kinda sweet, though. Said he wouldn’t do it with someone he didn’t love, and-”

“Oh my GOD,” was all you could get out. They thought you two were having sex. Cas said he loved you. Your mind couldn’t decide which you needed to address first, but it seemed your feet had chosen for you when you backed out of the room, turned on your heels, and ran.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed!” Sam called after you, but you were gone.

It was as if a magnet was pulling you towards the angel. You had a feeling you knew exactly where he would be- not a conscious thought, but more of a natural instinct that was carrying your body in concert with your legs. The narrow bunker hallways whipped past you and it felt like you were flying. If you could’ve flown to Cas in that moment, you would have.

And there he was, perched exactly where you thought he would be. Looking at him now, it felt like the world had opened up around you. He said he loved you. He loves you.

“Hello, Y/N.” Cas looked at you with a soft smile, and you froze.

You had raced to him on pure adrenaline, but now, you weren’t sure what to say, do, think. Your mouth hung open for a moment, before finally forming the words.

“I just spoke with Sam and Dean,” you said, plainly.

“I see. They must have figured it out. I’m very sorry, Y/N. I don’t want you to think I am taking advantage of you by asking for your help with my wings, or-”

“Cas, they think we’re having sex.”

Cas cocked his head to the side and shifted his gaze behind you, processing what you had said. “I see.”

“Why do they think that, Cas?”

He drew in a silent breath that melted his facial features. His whole presence softened, as if he had made up his mind about something that had worried him for so long.

“Well, you see… They asked me why we had been spending so much time alone. And I didn’t want them to know about what we were doing because… It’s very vulnerable, Y/N. It is a lot of trust that I place in you. And I feel guilty, because it isn’t something you should have to do. It’s selfish but it feels so good, and…”

“And what, Castiel.”

“It’s a reason for me to be close to you.”

His words sent your heart skyrocketing and pulled you across the room, closing the final few feet between you. There were a million things you could have said. You could have reassured him he wasn’t selfish, told him how much you enjoyed helping him, or laughed at him for the confusion he caused. But instead, you gave all of those feelings a moment to bubble up in your chest before funneling them into a kiss. A soft kiss, a gentle kiss, and yet, one that was driven by so much emotion that it couldn’t help but be firm, absolute. And the angel kissed you back.

You lips lingered together for as long as you each could bear, before pulling gently away in unison. The smile on his face spoke volumes before you could even open your mouth.

“You can be close to me whenever you’d like, Cas.”

“I’d like that,” he nodded.

Now, to deal with those Winchesters.

#requests <3 #castiel x reader #castiel x y/n #castiel x you #supernatural reader insert #castiel #castiel reader insert #castiel x gn!reader #supernatural gn!reader

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eisforeidolon · 5 months

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Hi! Sorry if i'm bothering you but i needed someone to talk. About what happened recently with Destiel and Misha and the fans that believed in the things he said. I am new to Supernatural fandom, but i loved the story in an instant, thanks to Sam and Dean and their unique relationship. Then i became interested in Jared and Jensen too and i think that if Sam and and Dean are the heart of Supernatural then Jared and Jensen are the soul of the show because to me no other actor could have played Sam and Dean like they did. Now, returning to what i wanted to say i am really TIRED about Destiel, some Destiel shippers and especially Misha. I know he said some stupid thing about how CW is homophobic and how Destiel would be canon if they weren't homophobic. I don't ship Destiel because sincerely i don't see romantic love between Dean and Castiel, but this doesn't make me an homophobic person. His words are said with malicious intent. He also said some thing about how Jensen is attracted to him. I find this disgusting because he says this things only for his Destiel fan, knowing that his words are lies. Also Jensen not being there can't reply to his lies. Like i sad i'm new to Supernatural but some Destiel are making the experience in the fandom a constant war. They say that if you don't ship Destiel you are homophobic , that if you don't ship Destiel you are not a true Supernatural fan and the most stupid one... They say that Supernatural is about Dean and Castiel and their love. This make me really angry because Supernatural is about Sam And Dean, how they care for each other,how they save the world again and again and how they hunt monster and ghost and other things. But to me Supernatural is the unique love story of two brother and how they did everything to protect each other. I ship Wincest, but When i say love story i mean that Sam and Dean are Platonic Soulmates in Supernatural and even the show always remind us of that. I don't understant how Misha can say this thing without facing consequences because his words feed some Destiel fan that became hateful like him and whose mission is hating people who don't think think like them. Sorry for the long post and for the horrible english but it's not my first language. Sorry if i bothered you but i needed someone to talk to because sometimes i feel like leaving the fandom because Destiel hate and their war against everyone. I hope you will always have love and kindness in your life.

You really don't need to apologize for anything.❤️ You aren't bothering me and your English is fine - maybe not perfect, but hell, neither is mine some days! Thank you for the lovely sentiment, and I wish you the same - and that you do what is best for you in regards to this sometimes dumpster fire of a fandom.

If it helps, you're absolutely not alone. I've been in this fandom for years now, and some days it's sheer stubbornness against hellers obvious attempts to browbeat and drive everyone else out that keeps me here. They didn't get to take over the show through being loud and obnoxious and they don't get to monopolize the fandom by doing the same - and they can be butthurt forever over it.

I actually didn't mind Dean and Castiel as a ship at first. I'm always interested in what people take from a canon and then create entirely outside of it, and I read quite a lot of fanfic. Even then I was baffled by shippers insisting it was a thing in the canon, though. There was a brief period where I wondered if I'd somehow missed it, because I'm not generally really looking for romance stories and there were so many posts that were so insistent? So I actually did a rewatch focused just on Dean and Castiel's interactions - and came away with the impression they weren't actually even as good of friends as I'd originally thought, let alone anything like interested in each other romantically. The more I thought about it and the more meta I ran across and actually considered the details of? The more obviously baseless it was. I mean, some of it really is just genuinely so stupid it's hilarious. Cake. Bacon. Negative space. Widower arc. Bisexual lighting and/or plaid. But even the theorizing which wasn't absurd on its face? Always looked silly in comparison to how much more obviously and easily it had meaning in relation to the main story that plainly actually existed instead.

Meanwhile, I kept seeing more and more of those posts you mention insisting anyone who didn't ship it was a homophobe and they really pissed me off. Even if Dean and Castiel were a canon couple who spent half of each episode doing couple things and saying I love you back and forth instead of the entire show revolving around Sam and Dean's crazy tangled up lives with Castiel occasionally wandering in and out of the background with some angel nonsense or whatever? Not shipping it would not make someone a homophobe. Shipping is very subjective and any individual pairing can not appeal to any particular fan for a million and one reasons that have sweet fuckall to do with how they generally feel about LGBT+ relationships. Attempting to bully people into supporting a single very specific fictional relationship by trying to make them afraid of being branded a bigot if they don't is ridiculous as hell, regardless of how canon or not it is. How absolutely fucking disrespectful to all the people who have to deal with actual homophobia versus just being butthurt they can't force two particular fictional characters to kiss. It's so goddamn juvenile I can't even.

The longer I was in fandom, the more brain dead and divorced from the show the meta claiming Dean and Castiel were going to hook up any minute got. The more annoyed I became at all the absurd stereotypes about masculinity and sexuality they would parrot as gospel truth if it could "prove" Dean was into dudes and eventually the angel. The more obviously transparent their every cry of ~*homophobia*~ was when they tried to turn every real life LGBT+ issue and every canon LGBT+ character primarily into proof and/or justification regarding D/C. They're a bunch of entitled shitheads who not only feel like they should get to dictate what SPN is despite hating basically everything it actually was, but who are perfectly fine with co-opting serious real world issues to try and do it. I have no beef with normal D/C shippers who aren't assholes to everyone and mad at the show for not bringing their fanfic to life, but I can't stand the pairing at all even in a fandom sense anymore.

The evolution of my feelings on Misha followed a similar path. I liked Castiel well enough as a supporting character and I didn't actively dislike Misha, though after I'd seen a couple of panels where his answers were flippantly irreverent or unnecessarily raunchy, I wasn't really much interested in him. Then, over time, at the same time Castiel's character was more and more blatantly just eating up screen time to give J2 time off, he started getting worse and worse about ship-baiting. He'd act like everyone behind the scenes was talking about D/C - but then they (Jensen and Bob Singer most notably) would say that was untrue. He'd slyly hint about upcoming scenes in a vague way to imply D/C and then it would be something else entirely. He'd tell shippers about things that had been pointedly removed because they could seem leading and that was not the authorial intent, but without pointing out that was exactly why they were excised. His stories would change when he got a bad reaction - he went from saying he shipped wincest to pretending he'd never heard of it, he went from claiming Jimmy was going to appear in the original Roadhouse finale to it being Castiel, etc. Then there was framing horsing around with Jared as if he was a victim and not a participant and the incredibly inappropriate objectifying sexual comments about Jensen and Dean. All of which caused the fans falling for it to loudly and angrily attack everyone but him while they kept buying his ops/books/cameos/whatever. No matter how blatantly he queerbaits them and how upset they get over it and take it out on everyone else, he does not stop. He's an ungrateful creepy narcissist who will throw literally anyone or anything under the bus if he can get a buck out of it. Who also will proclaim he doesn't want to co-opt LGBT+ causes when he's desperately trying to keep his career on life support doing exactly that in the most skeevy, backstabby way possible.

Jared and Jensen put their hearts and years of their lives into this show bringing Sam and Dean to life, episode after episode, week after week, season after season. Telling an important story about platonic and familial love that you really won't find anywhere else.

Misha and the hellers have spent years trying to co-opt that to their own ends out of gross entitlement. They deserve each other, but the show and its actual fans don't deserve to have to put up with either of them. Unfortunately, we have the fandom we have, not the one we deserve.

#destihellers #destiew #anti misha #faux social justice #long post #mention of wincest

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destielfanfic · 2 months

Text

Group Ask #213

Relevant links to find lost fic

previous group asks - feel free to browse them!

spnstoryfinders

Guide to Finding Fic

Guide to Finding Lost Fic

PSA - Save Your Faves!

Lost and Found fic posts - when mods knew the answer!

when looking for fics similar to the ones you have read, check out our Fics like X Reference Post and Fics like X Tag

Before sending in a lost fic ask, please check out our Tags Page and see if the fic in question could be found under some plot/ trope/ pairing related tag! Big thanks to all followers who do check the tags before sending in the ask!!! Our anon is switched off for good but you can always ask for your url to be withhold either on the lost ask or the answer re fic. <333

And even bigger thanks to all folks who help us to find lost fics! You guys are the real MVPs!!!

Ask #1 ( @miraculousfailure): there’s this fic…#1

I’m looking for a fic where Dean is dating Lisa and they move into a house with Ben next to Cas who is married with a kid and a baby on the way. Dean and Cas immediately become best friends. I believe that his wife ends up dying after giving birth. She is a painter in the fic. Dean and Cas get matching tattoos in it at one point. The fic is pretty long. Probably 100k+. Would appreciate finding this so much! Found by @chiops256 and @caseyjw1973! So it Goes by raiseyourpinky [NC-17, 236,500 word count] Dean Winchester has finally bought his white picket fence dream house for his girlfriend Lisa and their son Ben. On top of living in the perfect neighborhood, they now have the best neighbors, the Novaks. Castiel and Amelia Novak are awaiting their first baby, Claire. They’re in love and are not afraid to show it. When their new neighbors move in next door, they become practically family. It feels as though nothing could ruin the ultimate domestic bliss Dean and Castiel have achieved. Until it all goes to hell. Then the two of them will be the only ones left to pick up all of the broken pieces and keep each other moving forward. Dean and Castiel soon realize that the only thing stronger than tragedy and pain is the love that they have for each other. Unfortunately, the fic has been deleted by the author.

Ask #2 ( @loveagoodstory2 ): there’s this fic…#2

Hello I’m looking for a one shot please. Dean is an omega and works the night shift in an office building. He smells Cas scent and loves it they start leaving notes for each other and Cas leaves Dean his tie (scented by him Completely 😉) Found by @caseyjw1973! Scent of an Accountant by Andromytta, nealinor [NC-17, 7,000 word count] Omega Dean Winchester has taken a temporary position as a security guard in a high rise office building. His first night on the job, he finds one particular office suffused with a scent that fascinates him. Fascination builds and soon Dean crosses into the office space of an unknown alpha. The one thing he didn't consider: what would happen when the alpha scents him in return.

Ask #3 (Anon 1 ): there’s this fic…# 3

I'm looking for a fic where Dean and Cas first meet while having a threesome with Lisa -- there's a followup fic where Dean and Cas reunite after many years, with Dean now out of the closet and eager to pursue a relationship with Cas. It was on AO3, though not sure if it's still there. Found by @kazshero and @chiops256! Light Me Up series by tricia_16 [NC-17, 219,000 word count, 3 parts] Summary of the part 1 - In a desperate attempt to save his dying relationship with Lisa, Dean Winchester agrees to invite another man into their bedroom. He’s always considered himself to be completely straight... so why does being with this Cas guy feel so good?

Other requests

Ask #4 - our follower is looking for a possibly deleted fic, “Castiel Takes Care of Dean Winchester” by asexualclassicist on AO3.

Ask #5 - our follower is looking for a possibly deleted fic, “I’ve got a Bad Case of Lovin’ you” by HigherMagic.

Ask #6 - our follower is looking for a possibly deleted fic “Castiel’s Scars” by Martypom.

Ask #7 - our follower is looking for a possibly deleted fic "Hell On Wheels" [M, 34,750 word count]

It takes a village to find a lost fic, every reblog is appreciated! All 3 fics have been found!!! Great job, team!

#there's this fic #group asks #asks

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nikkisheep · 1 year

Text

Kill Me Slowly

Dean Winchester x pregnant!wife!reader

Warnings: ANGST, cursing, happy beginning, pregnant reader, death

Summary: You find out that Dean died and you don’t know how to react.

Words: 2,075

To be honest, I cried writing this and I will say, this is probably my saddest piece.

You danced around the bunker as Dean’s music blasted from the speakers. You were cleaning the library when you got bored and put on music so time would go by quicker. You sing loudly with the music as you dust the shelves, the books, the tables, the corners, everything you could think of. Getting finished with the library, you move on to the kitchen. You decide to make a pie and some burgers for the boys when they get back. You were nervous about them being gone without Castiel since his death but you trusted that they would be okay.

Mixing the pie crusts, you realized that I didn't have apples for the pie so you decided to run down to the supermarket to get some. I borrow the truck from the garage and drive to the store. There an older woman needed help with selecting apples.

“Ma’am, could you grab that apple for me?” She asked kindly.

“Of course, I actually need some myself.”

You help gather the apples for her and she turns to you to thank you.

“You know, my husband really likes apples and today would have been his 90th birthday,” she says sadly.

“I am so sorry for your loss. I actually am making a pie for my husband when he gets home from work,” You smile softly at her and she looks down to my belly.

“Oh, congrats. Is it a boy or a girl?” She gushes.

“We aren’t sure just yet but Dean, my husband, hopes it’s a girl. He says that he always wanted a daughter but I hope it’s a boy so he could be just like his father,” You smile as you look down at the growing baby bump that you had been trying to cover.

- - - -

You come home to the bunker and go to the kitchen. Dean and Sam weren’t home just yet so you had a little bit more time before they were to walk through the door. You cut the apples and your belly growls so you get the peanut butter from the cabinet and dipped a few apple slices in to eat. You put on some music and danced along as you baked the pie and cooked the burgers.

Your hands rubbed the seasoning deep into the meat as you heated the grill. You threw in some fries to be made fresh and you pulled the apple pie from the oven and smiled as the smell washed over you and the bunker. Once everything was ready, you jumped in the shower.

Thoughts of seeing Dean after so long flooded your mind and you smiled as you imagined the feeling of his skin against yours once more. You open his body wash and shampoo to use them. Dean always liked it when you smelt like him. It let him know that you were his. You run your hands up and down your body as you wash yourself and you relax into the hot water as your daydream of Dean continues.

Getting dressed into a cute sundress, Dean picked it up when he was on a hunt about a month ago and thought it would be beautiful on you, and you headed to the kitchen and started making plates because you heard the Impala pull up into the garage.

- - - -

Placing Dean’s pie on the table, you hear the door to the bunker open and footsteps begin to fall down the stairs. You gather up Dean’s plate to bring it to the table and you have a big smile on your face as you start walking to the table once again.

“Dean, I made your favorite. I figured that you would want a nice, hot apple pie for when you get ho-” You get interrupted when you round the corner when you only see Sam and his face is all red, with dark circles around his eyes, and his eyes were bloodshot. You stand there and then look around him for your dear husband.

“Oh Sam, you look horrible,” You sigh. “Where is Dean? Surely, he wouldn’t still be in the garage pulling out all the bags instead of greeting his wife?”

You laughed softly, nervous.

“Dean isn’t here.” Is all he said.

He stumbled down the step to the dining room and sat at the table with his head in his hands. You were confused. If Dean wasn’t here, where was he?’’

“Where is Dean?”

Silence.

“Sam, where is Dean?” You demand an answer and this time when Sam looked up at you, you could just read his expression. Tears in his eyes, sobs being held back with all of his might.

“No,” You say quietly. “No, no, no!”

The glass plate in your hand fell to the ground and shattered. Dean’s bacon cheeseburger that you made landed on the ground and fell apart. Your body started to quake as tears filled your eyesight. Your knees got weak and you let out an earth-shattering sob fall from your mouth. You felt a pain in your chest that felt like it was squeezing your lungs until they could barely constrict any further. Breathing began to become painful as your tears fell more frequently. You start to hyperventilate as your knees give out and Sam has to race to catch you before you land onto the broken glass that laid on the floor. Your hand got cut on the glass and you could barely even feel it. Your sobs turned violent as you begged for Dean to be there with you.

“Dean! No, no, this isn’t true. Dean!” You start to shout, hoping, praying that he would walk right through the bunker door with a smile on his face with his green eyes shining.

“Shhh,” Sam said as he smoothed your hair, his arms cradling you as you grew to be weaker from crying.

Your body shook as you let out the painful wails that were buried deep inside your soul. You couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t hear. You couldn’t see. You couldn’t do anything but feel the pain that was tearing your heart and soul into pieces that would never be repaired.

- - - -

The walk to your shared room with Dean felt like it was ten miles long. Your face hurts from crying, sobbing over the loss of your husband. You laid in bed, your hand was bandaged by Sam after he basically had to pin you to the ground to fix it for you, thinking about everything that had happened.

Four Days Ago

You held out your hand for Dean to take it as you climbed in bed. You kissed his pink lips softly as his hand rubbed over your growing belly. He was being careful about everything around you since you told him the news.

“What do you hope it to be?” You asked as you played with his freshly washed hair as he laid his head on your stomach, hoping to feel the baby.

“I already know that it’s going to be a girl because she is just like her mama,” He said with a smile.

“You know it’s a girl?”

“Don’t call her an “it”.” You laughed lightly.

“Okay, why do you hope she’s a girl?’’

“Because, I have always pictured our first baby to be a girl and then when we have a second one, it would be a boy so she can be a big sister and beat up the boys who try to mess with our little boy,” He said with a very bright smile. You smiled at him and pulled him in for a kiss.

- - - -

Day One: Removing

You start to bring in boxes from the truck and head straight to your room. You walk in and start to gather Dean’s belongings up. You grab all of his shirts and throw them into the box. You grab his blanket and fold it up to put it in the box as well. You gather up his PJ’s, his pillows, his jeans, his Jelly Beans that you told him that they belonged in the kitchen instead of the room. You open the top drawer and find his underwear and you throw them in the box as well. You tear the room apart, removing anything Dean from the room. You didn’t want to be reminded of the fact that Dean wasn’t here anymore.

- - - -

Day Six: Remembering

You stare at the boxes that sit on the other side of the room and you walk over. The first thing inside the box was your wedding ring. You had taken it off because you couldn’t stop crying every time you moved your left hand which gave you a glimpse of the ring.

You turned it over and tears welled up but you quickly put the ring away and then you found the tape that you had made him when he was away for a case on Christmas. You put it in the player.

“Dean, I miss you but I know you are doing what you need to do. I just wish that you had let me go with you.” The frame moves to the kitchen.

“I made all of your favorites and I really hope that I don’t stress eat them all because that would not be a good idea,” You laughed as the camera shook.

You turned it off and then you looked at more tapes. One was when you moved all of your stuff into his room. You watched as you and Dean were smiling sweetly at each other. You were looking at the camera and he was looking at you. His green eyes bored into the side of your face with a loving gaze. He kissed your cheek and you let out a loud laugh at his gesture. You were happy then. That was before you had gotten married. You were so excited that Dean wanted you to move to his room and you were acting like a giddy teenager who just got asked to Prom.

- - - -

One day later: Acceptance; The Funeral

Sam and you were the only people at the funeral. Dean’s body rested on the wooden stand and Sam had to hold you so you didn’t collapse. You were crying and sobbing but you were overcome by grief that you briefly forgot about Sam’s grief. You lost your husband but he lost his brother.

“Sam, can I do it?” You asked, you knew that he had done this for so many people, you didn’t want him to do it for his brother.

Sam gave you Dean’s lighter and you lit the flame bottle and you threw it on his body. Fire burst into the sky as soon as the flame touched the stand. You looked down at the lighter in your hands and you didn’t want to get rid of it but you knew that you had to. You wanted Dean to be at peace.

As the lighter soars through the air, flashes of your wedding day, you telling Dean about your pregnancy, your meeting, you working cases with him, the nights of passion, the nights of tears, the hunts, the singing, the dancing, the reading, the kisses, everything that you ever did together flashed through your mind all at once and you felt a weight being lifted off your shoulders.

You grab Sam’s hand and the two of you walk back to the bunker to eat a burger and a slice of apple pie in honor of Dean Winchester’s life.

Bonus scene:

Three months later:

You lay in the hospital bed with Sam sitting beside you, holding a pink baby blanket and a blue baby blanket.

“It’s twins. A boy and a girl” the doctor said.

She left and Sam gently placed your babies in your loving arms. One look and you saw that they both had Dean’s green eyes and his freckles. You start to cry as you cradle your children and Sam wraps his arms around you and kisses your hair.

“What are their names?” He asks.

“The girl is going to be named Charlie.”

“And what about the boy?”

“His name is Dean.” You looked down at the little boy in your arms.

“His name is Dean.”

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester angst #dean winchester #supernatural x reader #supernatural #dean winchester x pregnant reader #dean winchester x wife reader angst #supernatural angst

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casdeans-pie · 1 year

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Part 2 of Flustered Castiel Accidentally Explodes Lightbulbs And Causes Power Outages Especially When Dean's Fingers Are In His Hair

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4. Thanks again to @dreampencil for the inspiration to get this done!

Thanks to everyone for all the great feedback on part 1!

---------

The second time it happened, Dean was trying to make a joke out of it. (Even if the reason he did it wasn’t funny at all).

The thing about hunting The Winchester Way was that it sometimes involved dressing up in silly outfits.

Gym teacher, fitness instructor, insurance salesman, television crew, that one time they were zookeepers… The Winchesters never skipped an opportunity to infiltrate a case by wearing a ridiculous disguise. Nearly every hunter out there had pretended to be FBI, or doctors, or part of the CDC, but where was the fun in that? Something about putting on the outfits of these different people like he was stepping into their skin appealed to Dean’s inner child who had never had the time or opportunity to play pretend games.

Ironically, Dean had been calling it The Winchester Way since he and Sam had started hunting together, but at no point could either of them imagine John Winchester ever dressing up and pretending to be in any of the professions that they had used for a hunt like that. So, in fact, maybe it was just The Dean Winchester Way.

Which was fine with Dean.

And being an Angel didn’t excuse Cas from this.

If anything, it created an extra dimension of fun, because then Dean got to see Castiel Angel Of The Lord’s pouty bitchy frown whenever he had to wear whatever silly outfit they were using for their disguises.

But it had never backfired before…

The plan for the hunt had been simple: their research had led them to the deeply religious Mark Lomax, who’d unknowingly purchased a cursed pocket watch. He would be kept busy talking at his door with Dean and Cas, while Sam broke in through the back and removed the curse. To keep him talking for long enough Dean and Cas would be disguised as members of a new local church appealing for new followers to combat the evils of all the recent deaths and murders in town.

Simple.

Dean had no love for the cardigan-wearing-sensible-hair look, but he’d thought that it would be worth it to see Cas dressed up all dorky like that.

But the laughter that Dean had been ready to let loose turned to acid in his throat when Cas emerged from his room – with his frown firmly in place – and a name resounded like a thunderclap through Dean’s skull.

Emmanuel.

Dean froze where he stood, feeling his blood run cold.

And then, to his increasing horror, he distantly heard Sam complaining about the state of Cas’s hair through the ringing in his ears. Sam reached over and flattened the soft black spikes with his hands, completing the look even further.

Cas pouted the whole time.

Sam eventually stepped back to survey his work and nodded. “Much neater,” he said.

But Dean could almost feel his heart breaking all over again, remembering how it felt to look at Cas and see no recognition in his expression. Meeting his wife-

“Dean?” Cas said, the line between his eyebrows deep and furrowed at his long silence. His blue eyes locked onto Dean’s and held there.

You know me, Dean remembered thinking desperately, even as Cas- Emmanuel had looked at him like a total stranger.

The affection almost glowing in those same eyes now finally seemed to ground Dean back into reality.

Castiel. Cas. He wasn’t Emmanuel. He’d got his memories back.

You know me, Dean thought with relief, as he felt his heartrate slow.

“Dean?” Cas asked again, his voice low and laced with concern.

Sam cleared his throat.

Dean swallowed, shook off the last of the nightmarish flashback, and finally broke eye contact with Cas. He gestured at his hair. “C’mon, Sammy,” Dean whined with a shake of his head, “look what you’ve done to him. Lomax isn’t gonna believe this guy even leaves his house. Definitely won’t think he goes door-to-door.”

Without waiting for a reaction Dean took the two strides to stand in front of Cas and plunged his hands deep into his hair, intending to ruffle it back out and fully dispel the image of Emmanuel.

A few things happened at once.

The lights above them fizzed loudly as they flashed almost blindingly, while the whole bunker buzzed and groaned as every electronic console and device flared to life – dials whizzed, switches blinked, and car alarms all simultaneously blared from the garage. The lights flickered and dimmed and flashed brightly again. The electronic buzzing increased in pitch until it hit a reedy whine, and just when it felt like the whole bunker was going to overload or his eardrums were going to burst, Dean removed his hands from where he’d left them in Cas’s hair to slap them over his ears instead- and everything stopped.

The lights returned to normal, the ringing and the alarms stopped, and all the devices powered down again with a gentle hum…

Dean and Sam slowly removed their hands from their ears.

The three of them looked at each other in the eerie silence.

Dean could see that Sam was fine, just a little shaken, but Cas’s chest was heaving as if he were short on breath. His hair stuck up at crazy angles where Dean’s hands had pushed in, and his wide eyes were once again locked onto him.

Sam looked up at the lights. “What was that? Should I check on the power?”

“Cas?” Dean asked hesitantly, remembering a similar phenomenon that had happened on a hunt once before.

Cas finally blinked. “Uh. Excuse me-” His voice came out at an even lower rumble than usual, and he practically ran back to his room. The door slammed behind him.

“What’s going on?” Sam said as he looked between Dean and where Cas had gone. “What happened?”

Dean let out a low breathy laugh. “I think… I think I know. But I uh, I might need to do one more test. Y’know, just to make sure.” He clapped Sam on the shoulder. “Nothing to worry about, Sammy. Just grownup stuff.”

Sam shrugged and snorted as he went to check on the consoles of dials and lights. “I shouldn’t even be surprised with you two anymore,” he mumbled as he went. “D’you think he’s coming back?”

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll give him five minutes to compose himself and then we’ll get the show back on the road.”

If Dean needed any more confirmation that Cas was really himself, here with them- here with Dean, well, that was certainly it.

His heart felt too big for his chest suddenly.

With his good mood restored Dean grinned as he looked out at where Cas had fled to. He flexed his hands by his side, remembering the brief moment that he’d had them in the feathery softness of Cas’s hair.

First, they had the hunt, but then Dean had an experiment to plan.

------

Part 3: [link]

#I wasn't sure whether to make this its own post or not or just to add it as a reblog to part 1 aaa #anyway! thanks again for the great feedback! here's part 2 of this thing!!#destiel #destiel ficlet #castiel's angel powers #destiel fanfiction #castiel headcanon #pie's projects #my fanfiction #deancas #flustered!castiel

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thevioletcaptain · 2 months

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Day two of the @spnficrecfest is all about kink!

Given that Dean has several established kinks in canon, I've decided to list one fic for each! Which kinks in particular? I'm talking cowboys, tentacles, satiny panties, doctors, and being dominated by his partners -- whether that means being slapped around, or just being given some sexy rules to follow.

Some of these fics are set in the canon universe and some are AU, but all of them feature or explore some aspect of one of Dean's canonically established kinks. Enjoy!

boy leave your boots by the bed by an_ardent_rain Explicit | 9.8k | 🤠

I've had this fic on my to-read list since it was published last September, and I'm so mad at myself for leaving it so long. It's post-canon, set in the open-world Heaven 2.0 that Jack and Cas made, and Dean's cowboy kink not only features heavily throughout, it also serves a catalyst for change in Dean and Cas' relationship. It's hot and sweet in equal measure, and just a really beautifully written fic.

Dean and Castiel's Lagoon of Love by almaasi Explicit | 12.5k | 🐙

This one is described by the author as "Tentacle Porn For People Who Don't Usually Enjoy Tentacle Porn." While I can't speak to how true that might be, this enjoyer of tentacles had a great time. Set in an alternate canon where Cas remained human, the fic opens with Team Free Will arriving back at the bunker after a witch turned Cas into an octopus from the waist down. Dean's desire to have him act out the story of "Sweet Princess Asuka Meets the Tentacles of Pleasure" cannot be repressed, and Cas is more than willing to play along. Just normal boy bestie things!

Satin and Sawdust by Ltleflrt Explicit | 159k | 🩲

If you haven't already read Satin and Sawdust, let this be the day you check it out -- and if you have already read it, here's a sign that it's time to read it again. For the uninitiated, this AU is a rare treat in which Cas is the one having a sexuality crisis, all thanks to his neighbor (and handyman) Dean, whose low-riding waistband and extensive collection of lacy underwear is rapidly driving him out of his mind. It's been a while since I read this fic, but I was just thinking of it earlier this week, so it's definitely time to dive back in. (Side note, the fact that I can't change the color of the underwear emoji is an attack on my freedom of expression or whatever.)

Gimme the News by robotsnchicks Explicit | 1.9k | 🥼

This AU oneshot leans into Dean's medical kink, as he goes to see Doctor!Cas about a potentially "lost" sex toy, and requests a thorough examination. It's tightly written, packing plenty into 1,960 words, and also has some really great characterization -- from Dean's blend of humor and horniness to Cas' exasperation... and horniness. If you're worried about potential dubcon, check the author's end notes for some spoilers left out of the main fic tags :)

dying to let you know by bisexualsage Explicit | 4.7k | 🙇‍♂️

One of my absolute favorite things is when authors use kink as a vehicle for character exploration, and this established relationship post-canon ficlet delivers -- digging into why both Dean and Cas enjoy the dynamics they've found themselves playing out in the bedroom. This fic does have a dash of daddy kink, so beware of that if it's a squick!

Check under the cut for links to all of the rec lists I make for this fest! I'll update with new links as I post them :)

Day One - Purgatory Era Day Two - Dean's Canon Kinks Day Three - Long Fics Day Four - Alternate Universes Day Five - Rare Pairs Day Six - Case Fics Day Seven - Tropes Day Eight - Gen Fics Day Nine - Vintage Fics Day Ten - Coda Fics Day Eleven - Mystery List

#spnficrecfest #dean/cas fic recs #deancas fic recs #destiel fic recs #the deancas of it all #fandom: supernatural #shhhh this is a day late i'm sorry

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spnfanficpond · 7 months

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February 2024 Angel Fish Awards

(Angel Fish design by @slytherkins!!)

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words. (Click here to learn more about how to nominate a fic for an award!)

Nominated by @spn-fanfic-reblog-writes

Pack by @spnexploration

I love this story. I love the pack dynamics and how they all are despite Dean being the Pack Alpha. I love that they even have an extended pack as well (Claire, for example). I love that the reader has to learn the world and shows a very real world freak out over the information as well as how the pack dynamic and tactics work with and without Dean and Sam. I love how gentle and human Dean and the Reader are together. It’s a very relatable story with new relationships. I related to the Reader’s self-view very, very much. I’m gonna start including pack dynamics in my own a/b/o fics. I love that idea, so so much. Evolution is slow to change, so even if a/b/o was an evolutionary change, it doesn’t mean that all aspects would change with modern day society. Please check the story out and the author. Thanks!

The Cala Lillies of Winchester by @littleangelcassie

This is such an amazing story! Castiel instantly connects with Dean who falls asleep on him while on the bus and Cas being Cas decides to take him home and keep him. Doesnt take long for Dean to agree. It’s an amazing, challenging love story from there that encompasses family, children, health and home, and the challenges of in-laws for their personal and religious views. It’s beautiful and terrifying, and worth the tears.

The Heartbreak Hotel by @naughtystiel

You have to read this is such a fluffy story. It’s like so heart warming, chest squeezing, heart racing and so angsty. I love it. It’s so fluffy that it’s schmoopy. That’s how affectionate and caring it is. Let the story take care of you. Trigger Warning: cheating, survivor’s guilt, bad parent Mary Winchester

~*~*~

Nominated by @mrswhozeewhatsis

If you don't look good, we don't look good by @talltalesandbedtimestories

HOLY HELL!!! This is SO HOT! With feelings, and hair, and brotherly Sam, and HOLY HOTNESS DEAN. *wipes sweat from brow*

~*~*~

Nominated by @mariekoukie6661

Mutually Beneficial by @kittenofdoomage

It's cute, fresh, and I can't wait to see where it goes!!

~*~*~

Nominated by @spencereliotwinchester

Flash by Ellia (AO3)

It’s so simple, yet extremely deep. An amazing take on the masks we wear

~*~*~

Nominated by @thoughtslikeaminefield

(K)not For Sale by @sam-is-my-safe-word

I don’t even go to the school of ABO, but, Kasey, love, you killed me. It’s emotional and anxious and hot, and SB is the Omega. Yes. Good.

Spotless by @stusbunker

FAKE. DATING. I’m epically behind in college comments for this, but it’s so fun and sexy and Stuie!

~*~*~

Nominated by @glygriffe

Wait for the Ricochet by @bobwess

I nominate this fic - first, because it is by Bob Wess and I think everybody in the SPN fandom should read at least one Bob Wess story - second, because it’s a time travel WIP where Dean and Sam meet their younger selves. 16-year-old Dean getting all big brother-y with 36-year-old Sam is precious, and Castiel serving as a buffer between the two versions of Dean is quite an interesting read.

(Divider by @glygriffe)

THANK YOU ALL, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

- From your Admins and Manta Rays, @manawhaat, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mariekoukie6661, @thoughtslikeaminefield, @spencereliotwinchester, and @heavenssexiestangel!

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quillquiver · 9 months

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DeanCas, 800 words, love confession & post-canon

It’s still weird to see him without the coat, but it’s also... it’s nice. He looks—soft. Around his edges. Dean forces himself towards the sink, gingerly plucking a towel from the counter. It feels like his slippered feet echo across the concrete at the same time as his heart tries to bludgeon itself against his sternum, blood rushing in his ears and drowning out everything but the clink of dishes. He reaches for a plate and Cas tenses as he looks over. The smile he gives is a nervous, hesitant thing.

Dean hates it. “Uh, need some help?”

“Thank you.”

Cas’s goes curl into the floor and there’s a hole in the heel of his left sock. One of the legs of his sweatpants is caught on his calf. He washes dishes like he’s preparing to use them during surgery, examining every utensil for wayward filth. The shirt he’s borrowing is tight in the shoulders and wet down the front, and he’s sudsy up to his elbows.

Dean fucking loves him.

He clenches his jaw as he picks up a wet glass, wondering where the hell someone gets off confessing their goddamn love—laying themselves totally friggin’ bare in their final fucking moments—and then comes back and pretends none of that ever happened. And for what? Because he changed his mind? Big fucking whoop. Like Dean hasn’t lived a whole life of disappointments. Like things are gonna be weirder than they already are after he fucking comes clean and puts Dean out of his misery. It’s not fair. It’s not fucking fair—and not just because Cas has changed his mind, not just because for a minute Dean thought he’d get... that he’d get to have...

Dean swallows thickly and glares at the glass in his hand, dry for who knows how long, now. He hates always being the one to pick up the pieces. He hates that things have changed like this. He wants to go back to how it was before.

But the cat’s out of the bag on that one, so all there is left to do is talk.

“Look, I’m not offended, okay?” Dean deliberately doesn’t look over as he forces the words out, focusing on a new glass. He hears Cas pause and gathers himself. “I get it; m’not exactly a prize—but pretending like it never happened is a dick move.”

Cas’s hand slips and a dish clatters loudly in the sink. “What?” He whirls around. Dean keeps his eyes front.

“I’m just saying,” he says gruffly, “it’s not cool to ignore big shit like that. You—”

“Ignore,” Cas echoes in disbelief. “Unbelievable.”

Dean turns towards Cas, who’s mangling the sponge in a white-knuckled grip. He looks stunned and livid, and Dean feels his own hackles rise. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He demands.

Cas’s brows almost get lost in his hair for how unimpressed he is. “It means exactly what I said. You're unbelievable.”

“Because I want answers?”

“Because you ignored I even said it in the first place! How much more of an answer do you need?!”

Dean’s breath stops in his lungs.

“—I have always done everything you asked. I’ve come when you called. I’ve fought beside you. I’ve died for you—”

Dean’s mouth turns dry.

“—Everything I am, that I’ve become, it’s because I have loved you—in every single way there is to love another person, and if you don’t feel the same way—”

Wait—

“—Then that’s fine! Because I am content to love you however you love me in return. But I will not stand here and be accused of being a dick—”

Dean shakes his head. No, that’s not—

“—When I have done nothing but offer myself to you. When I’ve—”

Dean moves without being consciously aware of it. “Cas,” he murmurs; soft, stunned interjections in Castiel’s increasingly loud and aggressive rant—did you maybe think that after kicking me out I didn’t want to bring it up? Did you consider that I might not want to embarrass you?—Dean reaches for the sponge and Cas wrenches away from him, glaring when he catches him by the front of his shirt.

“What are you doing—”

“Just—shut up a second.”

“No—”

“Cas—”

They’re practically chest to chest, and Cas is still holding that damn sponge, and he’s leaning back and glaring and flushed and angry and alive but he’s holding his tongue. And Dean doesn’t know what he ever did to deserve him but he’s fucking keeping him, despite the steam practically curling out of his ears, despite the curled lip and the death glare. Love knocks around inside his chest until there’s nowhere for it to go but up, but out—

“Me too.”

Cas freezes.

“Me too, okay? I love you, too.”

#destiel fic #found this one in my notes #from forever ago #and so posting it now #destiel fluff #idiots in love

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mlmxreader · 5 months

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Conflict Of Interest | Dean Winchester x gn!reader

『••✎••』

↳ ❝ “Sit down. We need to talk about whatever the fuck this is between us”

With dean please? ❞

: ̗̀➛ You and Dean certainly have a conflict of interest when it comes to one another.

: ̗̀➛ [trigger warnings] swearing, alcohol consumption

•───────────────★•♛•★──────────────•

Dean watched with a clenched jaw as you made your way around the bunker in just a pair of boxers and a tight camouflage vest; his green eyes almost as dark as the fabric on your torso, if his grip on his beer bottle grew any tighter he would have shattered it with ease.

But you didn't seem to care as you draped yourself over Castiel's back, leaning against him with your chest on his back and your arms dangled over his; asking him about the book he was reading. Sam and Jack were in the other room, talking quietly and going through the different ways to kill monsters.

Of course, Dean wanted to say something, to stand up and snap at you and tell you to quit acting like that; but he couldn't. He knew he didn't have any right to.

So he sat there, clenching his jaw and his bottle all the same.

You kept doing it, walking around the bunker in tight, revealing clothes whenever Castiel and Rowena were around, so brazenly flirting with them. Dean fucking hated it.

He had always had his eye on you, ever since his father had introduced you; thanks to Bobby being your "uncle" and raising you when your family were killed by a vampire nest.

It was instant infatuation, and with only two years between you both, you had a lot in common.

Over the years, the more you both met, the more Dean had grown infatuated with you. With you now living at the bunker as well, it was only getting worse.

So much worse.

You came to sit opposite him, legs spread and a soft smile on your lips; you tilted your head to the side, gently taking the bottle from him and taking a purposefully long and slow swig. Dean couldn't take his eyes off of you, licking his lips and doing his best not to just blurt it all out.

But then you passed the bottle back, and stood up about to leave all over again. Dean couldn't risk it, shaking his head.

"Sit down."

"Beg pardon?"

"I said, sit down. We need to talk about whatever the fuck this is between us," he said, almost harsh as he tightly clenched his jaw.

You obliged, daring to sit beside him instead as you leaned back slightly and folded your hands on your stomach. "Dean."

"What's with you?" He asked, his voice low and grumbling. "Flirtin' with Cas, with Rowena - walkin' around in next to nothin'."

You shrugged as you smiled. "It's called having fun and being comfortable."

He didn't seem convinced, eyeing you with great suspicion and leaning back slightly. "Is that it?"

"Why?" You scoffed, playful as you raised your brows. "You jealous?"

He looked away, hoping that it would conceal the small amount of blush on his features but knowing that it would never. "So what?"

"You can just tell me," you told him, your voice a lot more stable, less playful. Almost serious. "You never know, it might even be reciprocated."

Dean glanced your way, debating whether or not he should; it would make things awkward, surely. You and Sam were good friends, after all, and although you had always been closer to Dean, he still felt like it would put a rift between him and his brother.

After all, you were probably the only one who stuck around throughout, and despite everything; you never gave up on either of them, always at their beck and call even when you shouldn't have been.

But then Dean caught your gaze, and his breath hitched in his throat as his eyes went a little wide, his throat suddenly feeling rather dry. He licked his lips, time going by like a massively slowed down heartbeat. Seconds turning to days as he swiped a hand down his face and glared at you.

"It doesn't leave this room," he told you lowly. "You don't tell Cas. Or Sammy."

You nodded, smiling. "Keep things casual?"

He shook his head, daring to sit beside you as he cleared his throat. "I'm thinkin' more in case anythin' happens. Like if you wanna call it quits."

You could understand where he was coming from. It might have gotten awkward otherwise, and then there was the conflict of interest whilst hunting as well - it made sense to keep it a secret from the boys. "What about during hunts? Pretend married couple?"

Dean relaxed a little, seemingly relieved as he held his hand out. "You got it."

You shook his hand, pulling on it gently to bring him closer so that you could look right into his eyes. "It's a deal, partner."

The blush returned to his face, a little darker and a little more prominent on his cheekbones and the tips of his ears and nose as he swallowed hard and audibly.

"Partner? Gotta nice ring to it."

You rolled your eyes, trying not to laugh as you hummed softly and dared to pull him a little closer. "You wanna hash out some details... or do you wanna get to business?"

Immediately, Dean perked up at the suggestion, grinning brightly and nodding slowly as he followed your lead; taking a quick look to make sure no one noticed that you were escaping together. But as you lead him down the hallways, he paused in front of his room. "Mine or yours?"

You considered it for a moment, knowing that your room was a little further down and a little more private - but his was right there, and the temptation was almost too much to actually resist. But you had to be smart, so you tugged his hand gently.

"Mine - more private."

Dean was all too eager to agree, nearly tripping over his own feet as he chased after you in the corridor; laughing softly the second that your bedroom door closed behind him and grabbing you to pull you close.

"You sure?"

You nodded, putting your hands on his shoulders and grinning. "I'm sure."

if you made it to the end of this fic and you enjoyed it, then please, if you have any cash to spare, maybe donate to Tahani to help her save her children & husband in Gaza 🫶🏻

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littlespacereader · 7 months

Note

Hello again, Clara!!

So, I just read this and this story of your's and I'm physically unable to stop thinking about them..

Since they are both part of the same universe and connect to each other, I have questions and a request!!

The questions:

Does Sam know about Dean's Regression?

And if so, how did he found out & how did he take it?

Did he judge him/ acted weirded out at first, not understanding "what's the point", or did he understand it right away? (Personally I like option one, cuz it's realistic, but it can also be upsetting to read/ write)

Was he already familiar with the concept? Maybe because he regresses himself or had a partner that did?

Does he sometimes take care of little Dean & enjoys to be the "big brother"?

If he regresses himself, do Dean and him have playdates?

Weather he does already know or not, the request stays the same;

Tell us how he finds out & how he reacts!!

Please and thank you!! <3

~ ฅ⁠|°▿▿▿▿°|ฅ

The second part is here!! I apologize for it taking so long but I really wanted to be 100% happy with it and I really am! It’s mostly told from Sam perspective because part 1 was mostly from Dean’s. I hope this chapter answered a bunch of the questions you had listed above! I can’t wait for you to read the second part! Please enjoy! Love you always @dino-boyo-agere (platonicly of course💞)

Protection from Heaven and Hell (Part 2)

Little! Dean Winchester & Caregiver!Castiel, with Little! Sam Winchester & Caregiver! ??

Tags - accidents, pull-ups, diapers, hurt/comfort, Sam is the oldest when regressed, protective older brother Sam, new family dynamic

TW - supernatural typical violence (kidnapping, killing) and mention of demons and ghost, mentions of hell, heaven and ghost

Nickname - Papa for ??, Dadee for Castiel, little moose, squirrel, little boy, ‘ammy, little squirrel.

Click here for Part 1! Other stories in my Supernatural series are: here and here :)

Sam started to wake up in bits and pieces. He blinked and whined. He didn’t want to wake up, he wanted to go back to sleep with his moose stuffie. Why was Papa waking him up? It just wasn’t fair!

But then everything started to hit him, the realization of what had happened. Memories stared to flowed back to him as began to wake up. What happened again?

Dean was distracting the older lady while he slipped away into the back area to see what was going on. There were weird ingredients, strange object and even blood. It has all the makings of a witch’s spot. But scariest of all, they had photos of Dean and Sam. They had been watching and following them.

Sam quickly realized this was a trap. He started to back up and turn to go find Dean when he ran into an older man. “Awww son, are you lost?”

The man blew a sort of dusty into Sam’s face before he had time to react. He cough and cough, then suddenly started regressing like crazy. No! No he couldn’t! He can’t regress now, he needed to get his brother and get out of there.

He pushed past the man but didn’t make it far. He could hear Dean calling for him in the distance but he couldn’t make it to him in time. He fell to the ground, the sound of Dean’s voice falling into the distance. His eyes closed and he fell into a deep sleep, dreaming of his stuffie, of his Caregiver…

Sam pushed himself to open his eyes and wake up. Memories of what happened had his heart racing. What happened while they were asleep? What had the witches done to then?

He was in what looked like a basement. One of his wrist chained to the wall and the other was free.

Sam could feel himself still regressed. He felt anxious at the idea of being stuck in his headspace and in danger. He wasn’t thinking like a hunter, he was thinking like a little kid. He was scared of what that meant for him and his brother.

Speaking of his brother, he looked to Dean who laid unconscious across from him. Suddenly he felt felt an overwhelming need to protect his brother.

Dean slept peacefully across the room from Sam. One wrist chained similarly to his own, but with his free hand he had his thumb in his mouth as he slept.

This wasn’t the first time Sam had seen his brother doing this, the first was this morning before he left. He had figured it was just the way he was sleeping. But now…now he didn’t think he knew as much as he thought he did.

He never would’ve thought in a million years that Dean would ever understand his need for regression. It killed him not to tell his older brother who, in many respects, was like a Caregiver to him. But never would he have thought Dean would be a Regressor like himself!

Was it really possible?

He was hit with the same dust that made him regress and faint. And Dean…Dean must’ve been hit by the same thing. He had to be, he just had to!

If he is a Regressor, then Sam is definitely older headspace wise than him, if the thumb in his mouth is anything to go by.

Ha! Who’s the little brother now?

Plus thinking about it, Dean was being weird about his relationship with Cas…WAIT! Could Cas be his Caregiver too?!

The thought brought a small smile to Sam’s face. He wasn’t alone! Plus now he has a second Caregiver now to regress with too! And his Caregiver knows Castiel…but they don’t have the greatest of relationships to one another…

Now thinking about it…he wasn’t sure how good of a reveal it would be for Castiel to see Sam’s Caregiver.

Speaking of him, maybe he could get him and Dean out of this mess. He said only to call upon him if it was an absolute emergency. And it wasn’t an emergency yet…or at least Sam didn’t think it was…

Maybe he could impress Papa and get out of this without his help! Then he would be so proud that he was able to save his brother from the witches while the both of them are regressed!

Sam listened quietly to the sounds of the witches moving about upstairs. What were they planning? What did they want with two hunter?

Okay, okay, first thing first! They have to get out of these chains…somehow.

Sam started to look around the floor for anything he could find to break this lock. The basement was mostly empty. One set of stairs lead to the house, there was a washer and dryer, and there was a light coming from somewhere but it was out of view from him.

While Sam started looking around he heard Dean shift and whine in his sleep before relaxing once again. He lifted his head up and looked to his brother. Maybe he could help!

He was about to yell for Dean to wake up but that’s when he noticed Dean’s jeans getting darker and darker. Oh no.

Memories flashed back to when they were kid. John screaming at Dean about his bed wetting when no doubt he was the cause of it. Dean was always sadly plagued with nightmares which always resulted in wetting the bed. Now, with a regressed Dean, it must’ve came back to him.

Sam shifted himself. He didn’t have to go potty but he couldn’t tell most of the time. Usually he would just be playing and it would hit him out of no where that he would have to go. He really didn’t have control over it.

It happened again last night in the hotel room. Dean wasn’t taking super long but he really couldn’t hold it any longer so he rushed and pushed Dean out of the bathroom. Thankfully he didn’t wet his pants completely but he was close to it, too close.

He called his Caregiver the next day and he suggest going out and getting some pull-up…just incase. It wouldn’t hold a full accident but it would give him enough time to find a bathroom and go to one without fearing an accident. So Sam did, tucking his shirt in and hiding the padding under his suit pants for today case.

Now, in this gross and scary basement, thankfully his padding was still dry. But for how long? His heart started to pick up speed. Maybe Sam’s hero plan wasn’t so good after all. Sam pulled his arms against the chain. He was stuck. There was no way he was getting out of it.

Dean whined again getting Sam’s attention. He stretched his legs out and pulls his hand that was chained…but it didn’t move anywhere.

Suddenly Dean jumped awake, startled by a nightmare. He gasped and tried to catch his breath as tears fell from his eyes. He immediately spotted Sam, his eyes locking onto his. He went to stand up and go over to him when he pulled against his arm, locked to the wall.

He looked at the chain confused, but then he must’ve felt the cold wetness around him. He looked down and just froze. His lip trembling as he stared down at his accident. A sob escaped his lips.

Sam’s heart broke for him. Having had accidents himself, he knew what Dean must’ve been feeling. “Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay Dean! It’s alright! You didn’t know.” He tried to say.

Dean lifted his red rimmed eyes and shook his head, “It-It isn’t okay! I….I didn’t mean to…It’s not what it looks like Sam! I swear it isn’t!” He started to yell.

Sam right away shushed his brother, both out of fear of being heard and out of genuine worry. “It’s okay! I promise it’s all okay. Just an accident right?”

“Yeah,” Dean said in a voice so small and broken, “They…They must’ve done something to me that did it.” He tried to argue.

Sam was not about to disagree and debate that in this dark and dangerous basement. Right now they needed a plan and they needed to work together.

“Totally, yeah, now listen Dean. I have a plan. The witches are still upstairs which is good for us. We gotta find a way to get out of these chains and out of this basement before they come down here. Now what do you see from your side of the room?”

Dean looked at his brother intently as he explained everything. He looked around but didn’t see much of anything. “There’s a…a bucket…a table…a hook on the wall…a door…”

“The door! Tell me about the door!”

“It has some stairs going up to it, a railing to hold on to. Oh! And it has a window on the door.”

That’s where the light was coming from! “What does it look like through the window?”

“It looks like the outside.”

“Great Dean! That’s going to be our escape door!” Sam smiled. Dean smiled too, happy to be helping.

“Now all we need is to find a way to get out of these chains. Do you see anything around you on the ground that would pick a lock?”

Dean looked around on the ground, but he shook his head after a while. Suddenly upstairs there was a loud bang that made the two jump. Dean looked at Sam worried.

“ ‘ammy?” He asked his brother with the plan.

“It’s okay, I’m sure it’s just-.”

The opposite door swung open and the two witches entered, walking down the stairs to the basement. Both of the Winchesters backed up with their back against the wall, trying to put as much distance between them.

Both of the witches entered the room, big grins on their faces. The two entered the basement wearing outfits straight out of the 1950’s. When they saw the two boys, they gave one big awwwww!

“Good morning my sweet boys.” The woman said with a pleasant chipper voice. “I’m sorry to have to keep you down here all chained up and such. But until we can trust you, this is the way it will have to be.”

“What do you want with us?” Sam said, trying to sound big and brave and not at all worried.

“Son, we just want a family of our own. And you boys are just the perfect two Littles anyone could ask for.” The man explained.

Sam and Dean immediately locked eyes with one another. They both had the same expression. They’re “big” secret reveal to the other. But wait, why was the other one just as shocked? Holy shit.

They share a look of both shock and a small bit of relief. Their “big” secret didn’t feel they big in the moment. But now wasn’t the time to go “HA! I knew it!” Or “You’re a Little too?!” Now was the time to get the hell out of there!

“What? Haven’t you ever heard of adoption?” Now Sam was confused.

“Yeah!” Dean added helping his brother out.

“Of course we have!” The woman snapped back. Sam and Dean jumped to the sudden yelling. The woman right away noticed this and tried to cool herself down again.

“You see, we tried every route to have a perfect family of our own but it just didn’t work. Till finally we came across this beautiful community of people online who regressed into the perfect Little children. Then we thought to ourselves how perfect it would be to find someone like this!” The man began to explain.

“So I created a simple yet effective dust that would cause any person to start regressing. But instead…people started dying. Unfortunately really. Some ended up in the hospital, others like that bickering couple ended up dead. But oh they would’ve been lovely Littles.” The woman recalled.

“We thought our chances were over until we met you boys. Two regressors without even needing a thing of that dust!”

“I spotted you boys in the library. You could barley keep your eyes open as you researched away.” The woman giggled.

“And I followed Sammy here to the grocery store where you bought the pull-ups. Poor boy is old enough to not need a bottle or diapers but not too old enough to out grow accidents. Am I right?” The man said, in a sort of chipper attitude as if he was talking about Sam like he was some little toddler who didn’t know any better.

Tears stung Sam eyes as he tried not to let the confession bother him. “I did not!” He yelled. But he just sounded more Little by the second with a classic response like that.

“Yeah he did not! And we’re not Littles!” Dean yelled after seeing the man upset his brother. Didn’t matter to him whether it was true or not. It only matter that he upset his brother.

“Awwww. I’m sorry dear but I know you boys are. You see, if you weren’t my dust would’ve put you both in comas or six feet under. But instead it worked perfectly. You immediately started to regress then fall into a deep sleep.”

She started to step towards Dean as the man started to step towards Sam. Dean crossed his legs and hoped she couldn’t notice the accident. But sadly that’s exactly what she did.

“See? My dust has been working brilliantly on you boys. Did my poor baby have an accident while he was sleep?”

Dean shook his head as test began to fall from his eyes. “No! No! You did this!”

“Sweet pea my dust only brings out your own regression. You must be so young aren’t you?”

Sam watched as Dean shook his head when she went to wipe his tears away. But he had his own issues. The man kneeled down beside him now and began touching his hair. Sam jumped and tried to push him away with his unchained arm.

“Your hair is much too long for someone as young as you. We’re definitely going to have to cut it.” He said with a stupid 50’s mentality of short hair being best.

Sam shook his head, “No! It’s my hair!” He yelled. But the man just shook his head back at Sam.

Before Sam could yell something else out he felt a sudden warmth. Suddenly his pull-up started to leak, darkening his pants. When did he start going? He didn’t even have to a minute ago?

Now it was Sam’s turn for tears. The man started saying something to him but he just zoned out. Too upset, too Little to really be concerned.

He looked to his brother who was just as miserable and uncomfortable as he was at the moment. They had to get out of there and there was no way they were going to be able to do it regressed. There one only one person Sam wanted more than anyone in this world, one person who could make this right…

“PAPA!!” He yelled, “PAPA HELP!” He cried out.

~~~

There was no wings, no sound as all. But suddenly a man just appeared in the basement with the four of them. Sam looked up as Crowley grabbed the man kneeling in front of him. He stood him up before stabbing him square in the chest.

Dean copied off of Sam when he heard him call out for help, “Cas! Dadee! Help!” Dean cried, lowering his head as fresh tears started to fall.

This time there was a faint sound of wings when Castiel arrived. He grabbed the woman, spun her around and stabbed her with his Angel blade.

With the two witches dead the boys were finally safe, and with their safety came the sudden realization of a few new things.

Castiel took in the scene and marched over to Crowley, putting his Angel blade to his throat, “You did this! You tried to kill them!” After all whose mother was a witch? Crowley’s mom Rowena. It made perfect sense.

But before Crowley could even mutter two words of an explanation Sam screamed out for him. “NO! CAS! HE’S MY PAPA!! Papa! Help! Please!” Sam continued to cry.

Castiel paused for a moment hand still gripped onto Crowley’s jacket collar. He looked from Sam to Crowley before it clicked in. Wait, Sam is a Regressor like his little boy?

Crowley just rolled his eyes, “Can I go see my boy or are you still planning on stabbing me?” He asked with his usual sarcasm.

Castiel lowered his Angel blade and allowed Crowley to go see Sam, after all he had his own Little to worry about right now anyway. “Grab Sam and I’ll bring us all back to the Bunker.”

“Can I get pass the warding?”

“You should if I bring you.” Cas said matter of fact like usual. Crowley rolled his eyes to the Angel before turning back to Sam.

Crowley was a hard person to hurt, but his heart broke when he saw his Little. Tears streamed down his face, his pant were slightly wet, and his wrist that was chained was red and worn from pulling on it. One hand reached out desperately for him.

“My little moose,” he said with a sigh. He hated seeing his boy so upset. He snapped his fingers and the chain around his wrist disappeared.

“Papa!” Sam couldn’t help the tears that kept flowing down from his eyes. He immediately stood up once freed and hugged his Caregiver tightly.

“It’s okay, you’re okay Sam. I’ve got you, I’m here.” He said as he swayed Sam who was holding onto him for dear life.

They’ve learned over the last couple of months of being Caregiver and Little how Crowley could perfectly hug Sam’s 6’4” self with his Little’s head resting on his shoulder.

“I tried Papa…tried to be big…” Sam lifted his head and used the back of his sleeve to wipe his tears away. “But the witches did something to Dean and I. It made us regress and we can’t…unregress.”

But speaking of his brother…

Sam looked over to see Dean in a similar state to himself. He hid his face in Castiel’s shoulder, holding onto the Angel like his life depended on it.

“That’s alright. I’m sure Cas can undo the spell or whatever they did to you and your brother. If not we can always call Grandma. I’m sure she’d be happy to help her favorite grandchild.” Crowley smirked causing Sam’s spirits to lighten slightly.

“I’m her only grandchild.”

“Doesn’t mean you’re not her favorite!”

Sam shook his head and tried to hide the small smile on his face. Papa was so silly sometimes. Even in the worst of situations he always made Sam feel better.

Crowley took Sam hand before walking over Cas and Dean. Dean was holding onto Castiel’s arms. His eyes were casted downward, but occasionally he would look between his brother and Crowley.

“Ready?” Cas asked. Crowley looked to Sam to make sure he was okay before he nodded to Cas.

~~~

In the blink of an eye all four were back in the bunker, safe and sound.

“Cas,” Crowley stopped him. “This isn’t their normal regression. The boys were poison with some sort of dust they made them regress.”

Castiel looked at Crowley confused. His eyes shifted back to Dean who confirmed what he was saying with a silent nod.

“Can’t you do some of your Angel magic and get it out of the boys?”

“I don’t know if it will work but it’s worth a try.”

Castiel places a hand on Dean then on Sam. The boys looked at each other worried before Castiel’s hands started to glow. Suddenly the two started cough and out came the witch’s dust they inhaled.

“There you are, better?” Cas asked Dean who just nodded.

“How do you feel?” Crowley asked Sam.

“I feel…better. Not overwhelmingly regressed anymore but…not too big either.” He sheepishly said.

Crowley hummed as he took in his boy. He definitely needed a change and some comfort before anything else was to be done.

“Cassie? I’m going to take my boy to get change.” Crowley announced making Sam blush.

“Don’t be too long. I want to talk to you about all this.” Cas replied with a glare.

Again Crowley just rolled his eyes before taking Sam hand in his own, “Why don’t you show me to your room?”

Sam nodded and led the way down the halls of the bunker to his room. Crowley had never been in the bunker before this, with the heavy amount of warding and the secrecy. So he was a bit curious to his little ones room.

Sam opened the door and led Crowley into his room. Inside his bag from the hotel had magically appeared (probably thanks to Castiel) along with all his supplies. But other than that you would never guess he was a Regressor at all.

Crowley stood my the door and admired the room. It was a bit plain but then again Sam, like Dean, had been hiding his regression. But now with Dean also being a regressor maybe there was a chance for the both of them to be more open about it now.

Sam didn’t really say a word, he just grabbed a box under his bed and pulled his moose stuffie from inside it. He brought the moose close and just hugged it. With a shuttered breath in and out, he looked up at Crowley with tears in his eyes.

It was as if everything was starting to hit him now that he was back in the safety of his own room with his stuffie and his Papa.

“There, there my little moose. It’s all over now. You’re safe with Papa.”

Crowley crossed the room and sat on his bed. He held Sam’s hand and urged him to sit down beside him. But Sam just shook his head no.

“I wasn’t good Papa.”

“Darling, you were no such thing.”

“No! I was bad! I didn’t save Dean! I had an accident! And I couldn’t even get my hand free. I’m bad. Bad hunter and a bad brother.” Sam cried.

Crowley leaned forward and took one of Sam’s hand into his own. “Sam, I want you to look at me for a moment darling.”

After a moment Sam lifted his tear stained eyes to meet Crowley’s.

“None of this is your fault. You did not plan on getting kidnapped, you did not plan on having an accident and you did not plan on Dean getting involved in all of this either. Everything that happened today was out of your control and isn’t your fault.”

His words started to sink into Sam, who was starting to process it all. After another moment Sam spoke up again, “But…now Dean knows.”

“Yes…but you also know about his regression as well. Which I’ve always saw coming.”

“No you didn’t!”

“Yes I did, clear as day. But the point is, you boy aren’t so different as you think you are from one another. You’re both in the same boat and you both know that boat well. Maybe in some strange way, this was all meant to be.”

Now that, that really started to hit Sam. Maybe it was meant to be. He was so tired of hiding, maybe this was the opportunity for the two to Regress in peace and maybe even regress with one another.

“Now, I say we get you change, have a little cuddle and then go see Cas and Dean. I’m sure Dean is just as worried about you as you are about him.”

Sam nodded and followed as Crowley helped him to the bathroom to get changed. But all that kept playing in his head was what he was going to say to his brother.

~~~

Hand in hand Crowley and Sam walked back to the main part of the bunker. Sam, now I’m a plaid shirt, some pajama pants and another pull up, looked around anxiously for his brother. But when they arrived there was no one around.

“Wow,” Crowley said sarcastically, “So much for hurry up because ‘I want to talk to you about all this!’ ” Crowley said trying to do his best Castiel impression towards the end.

“I do want to talk to you about all this.” Castiel appeared with Dean at his side, now changed into some plaid and pjs as well. “I don’t believe you didn’t have a part in this.”

“Well you’re going to be very shocked.” Crowley said with his usual sarcasm.

Crowley looked to Sam who was fidgeting nervously, “You going to be okay for a minute while I talk to Cas?”

“Y-Yeah. Yeah of course. I just…I really want to talk to Dean.”

Crowley looked at Sam unsure but understood that he needed this time with his brother alone, and he respected that.

“Alright,” He patted his back.

Castiel looked to Dean, “If you need me just call okay?” He said to Dean getting a small nod.

After that Castiel and Crowley walked down the hallway of the bunker to go talk, leaving Dean and Sam alone together.

~~~

Sam had it all planned out in his head. He had this long winded speech he was going to say to Dean explaining everything that happened and about his regression and more.

“Dean, so you see-.”

But he didn’t even get more than four words in before his brother crossed the room and hugged him tightly. Sam, for a moment, just froze. The hug was unexpected but not unwelcomed.

Sam wrapped his arms around him and hugged his brother back. For a moment the two just stayed like that, hugging one another tightly.

After a moment Dean spoke up, “I’m so sorry Sammy.”

Sam shook his head, still hugging his brother tightly, “There’s nothing to apologize for. Neither one of us did anything wrong.” He said taking Crowley’s advice.

The two broke apart from their hug, and when they did they weren’t the adult badass hunters they always portrayed themselves to be. In this moment they were just two Littles. Not quite regressed but very vulnerable still.

“Let’s have a seat and talk about all this.” Dean joked, waving his hand in front of the two of them. Sam chuckled and followed his lead, sitting at one of the table across from his brother.

“So…um…when did you start…or I mean when did you-.”

“Right after you left for college.” Dean quickly explained. “I didn’t really have a name for it back then. All I knew was that nothing else but this was helping. No amount of alcohol, sex or anything could calm me down like regression could.”

“Yeah, same here.” Sam nodded among.

“Really?”

“Yeah I started when I was in college. Jess is actually the one who suggested it to me. I regressed with her whenever I was stressed out from finals or whatever. Then after you came back I sort of put regression on hold.”

“Yeah, I’ve been putting it on hold too. I never had anyone to look after me whenever I did regress. But eventually Cas talked to me about it.” Dean’s face started to turn red with a slight blush. “So I regress with him. He’s my Caregiver.” Dean said a bit shy.

“Yeah, I figured.” Sam sat back with a smirk.

“Hey!” Dean laughed back, “What about you? You really regress with Crowley? Really? Crowley?” Dean looked confused.

“Yeah,” now it was Sam’s turn blush. “It’s actually a funny story. You remember when I went on that hunt a while back? You stayed back in the bunker and I went solo.”

“Yeah I remember.”

“It wasn’t a ghost issue, it was a demon issue. Crowley was involved with it which I didn’t know at the time. To make a long story short since I was alone and badly hurt. One of them grabbed me and hit my head against the wall. I saw stars. Just before I passed out I saw Crowley and a separate group of demons start attacking the ones that hurt me. Next thing I know I woke up in hell.”

“In hell?! Why did you tell me about all of this?!!”

“Because I didn’t want you to know about my regression and there was no real way of telling the story without it.” Sam explained.

Before Dean could protest, Sam continued on, “When I woke up in hell I was in some sort of mansion type section. It was Crowley’s home in hell. The only problem? I woke up regressed. Crowley took care of me. He was confused at first but then he sort of figured it out. He wasn’t the way he normal is…he was kinder, gentle. If I wasn’t there I wouldn’t have believed it myself.”

“But the point is,” Sam continued, “I haven’t felt truly safe and comfortable like that in a long time. After I came out of my regression I was angry and shy about the whole thing. But instead of making fun of me or telling everyone about it, he was just as kind as he was to…little me. So I became his Little, going on “solo hunts” which were really just excuse to go and see him and Rowena.”

Dean smiled, “Rowena too?”

“Yeah surprisingly her too. She really like to take care of me. I’m sure she’d love you too.” Sam smiled as well.

“I’m happy for you Sammy. You deserve someone who will take good care of you.”

“Thanks. You deserve that too Dean. After all you need much more care than me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dean crossed his arms. It was becoming evident that the two weren’t as big was they were a moment prior.

“You’re much younger than me headspace wise. So now I’m the older brother.”

“Nu un!”

“Yeah un!”

“How am I younger than you? You have accidents just like I do!”

“For starters I wear pull-ups. Do you?” Sam asked but Dean didn’t answer, he just turned his head away as a blush creeped onto his face.

“And second of all I don’t suck my thumb. So that makes me the oldest! So…I’ll watch out for you just like you always did for me.”

Dean looked back over to his brother with a hopeful expression, “You don’t have to-.”

“No no no, I want to. I’ve always wanted to but you’ve always looked out for me. Now I get the opportunity to look out for you.” Sam smiled again.

“But also you have to do what I say because I’m the oldest.” Sam quickly said.

Dean rolled his eyes, “That’s not how it works.”

“That’s definitely how it works.”

“What if I don’t listen?”

“Then I’ll tell Castiel.” Sam crossed his arms.

Dean gasped, “You wouldn’t!”

“Try me baby bro.” Sam smirked.

“That’s cruel…even for you.” Dean chuckled.

“So umm…” Dean began to say, “Do you have any toys or a stuffie or…”

“Yeah! Yeah, Papa got me this moose stuffie and it’s my favorite! Mabel goes with me everywhere!” Sam stood up and Dean followed.

“I have a stuffie too! Actually I have two because they’re married dogs. Ones name is Ozzie and the others name is Sharon.”

“That’s so awesome! We gotta introduce them to one another!”

“Yeah! Let’s go!”

And so the two Littles took off down the hallway of the bunker towards their respective rooms.

~~~

“Whether you like it or not it’s the truth Cassie. Promise. Sam is my Little and has been for months now. If I wanted to harm the boy I would’ve had the opportunity to do it plenty of times but I would never. I know this might be a shock to you, but I actually care about him a lot, both regressed and not regressed.”

Castiel nodded his head, finally able to see past the cockiness Crowley usually retained.

“And since your little squirrel is a Little too, that makes us co-parents to the Winchesters.” Crowley smirked. Castiel rolled his eyes.

“How old is Sam’s headspace?” Castiel asked.

“Oh he’s somewhere between…” Crowley started to trail off.

“Somewhere between?” Castiel looked at Crowley confused to why he was trailing off.

“Well he’s older than Dean but not by much,” Crowley started to say but he trailed off again, his mind was elsewhere.

“Listen.”

Castiel paused for a moment and listened but he was silent. “Listen to what?”

“Exactly. Two Littles were talking to one another and now they’re both silent?” Crowley raised an eye brow.

The two sat for a moment and listened to the silence before they both, in unison, jumped up from where they were sitting in the kitchen and rushed to the main part of the bunker to see where their Littles were.

But as they past Dean’s room, Castiel grabbed Crowley’s arm and stopped him in his tracks. Without saying a word the two Caregiver just watched. Both leaning into the room with a big smirk on their faces as they watched Sam and Dean on the floor playing with hot wheel cars together.

There was definitely going to be an adjustment period, not only for the Caregivers but for the Littles too. But, in the end, it’s all worth it. The Winchesters never had a peaceful childhood. But now was their chance to start again.

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writingoncloudydays · 5 months

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Starlight Date Night

Summary: Dean goes on a cute starlight date with Castiel to have a break from their chaotic lives.

Warnings: None, just some cute short fluff since I haven't posted anything yet.

0.62k words

Castiel and Dean found solace from the chaos of their daily lives in the sleepy town of Kanas, nestled under a blanket of twinkling stars. The night was warm, the air alive with the symphony of crickets and the whisper of the wind rustling through the trees. But it was the company they cherished most, lying side by side on the hood of Dean's beloved Chevy Impala.

Dean's Impala was more than just a car; it was a sanctuary, a symbol of freedom, and a steadfast companion on countless adventures. And tonight, it served as the perfect stage for their private rendezvous under the celestial canopy.

Castiel gazed up at the vast expanse of the night sky, his eyes tracing the constellations with a childlike wonder. "Dean, look," he said, pointing to an exceptionally bright star. "That one reminds me of the first time we met."

Dean followed Castiel's gaze, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Yeah, I remember," he replied, his voice tinged with nostalgia. "You fell from heaven and landed right in front of me."

Castiel chuckled, the sound like music to Dean's ears. "I suppose you could say that," he said, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "But I prefer to think of fate as bringing us together."

Dean reached out and intertwined his fingers with Castiel's, their hands fitting together perfectly like puzzle pieces. "Yeah, well, whatever it was, I'm sure glad it happened," he said, his voice filled with sincerity.

They lapsed into a comfortable silence, content to bask in each other's presence and the tranquil beauty of the night. The world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two and the promise of endless possibilities stretching before them.

Dean couldn't help but marvel at the sheer perfection of the moment as they lay there. Here he was, with the person he loved more than anything, sharing a quiet moment of intimacy beneath the stars. Moments like these made all the struggles and sacrifices worth it.

"Hey, Cas?" Dean said, breaking the silence.

"Yes, Dean?" Castiel replied, turning to look at him with a gentle smile.

"I just wanted to say...thank you," Dean said, his voice thick with emotion. "For everything. For always being there for me, never giving up on me, even when I gave you every reason to."

Castiel's smile softened, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "Dean, you don't have to thank me," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "You've given me more than I could ever ask for. You've given me love, hope, and a reason to keep fighting, even when the world seems dark and hopeless."

Dean felt a lump form in his throat as he reached out to cup Castiel's cheek, his thumb brushing away a stray tear. "I love you, Cas," he said, his voice barely a whisper.

Castiel leaned into Dean's touch, his eyes shining with love and adoration. "And I love you, Dean," he replied, his voice filled with warmth. "More than words could ever express."

They closed the distance between them, their lips meeting in a soft, tender kiss that spoke volumes of their love. And as they lost themselves in each other's embrace, the stars above bore witness to the beauty of their love, a love that would endure for eternity.

For in each other's arms, Castiel and Dean had found their home, their sanctuary, their reason to believe that no matter what trials life threw their way, as long as they had each other, they could weather any storm.

And so, beneath the starlit canopy, they lay entwined, hearts beating as one, two souls bound together for all eternity in a love that burned brighter than the stars themselves.

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auroras-blog37 · 1 month

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I loved your Gabriel fic so could you please do Lee and Ler Headcanons for Supernatural?

Thank you for the request!!!

Supernatural Lee and Ler Headcanons:

Sam:

Lee:

This man is a cackler and giggler anytime he is tickled

Growing up with Dean, he’s gotten pretty good at defending himself against being tickled, but as soon as you get one spot he’s done

Will definitely give you puppy dog eyes to convince you not to do it

He’s a fighter, he’ll squirm and try to pry your arms away as he curls in on himself

Thats where his long limbs come in handy for him

Sam’s ribs and armpits would be his most sensitive spots

Ler:

Sam can be pretty ruthless as a Ler when needed

He’s figured out the signs of when you want him to tickle you, like when you provoke him with sass, stubbornness or trying to tickle him first

Type of person to use more rougher tickles like poking and squeezing

He loves making you laugh so he always admires your laughter when he tickles you

Definitely more comfortable being the Ler but still allows you to be the Ler at times

He’s a teaser, saying things like; “You brought this upon yourself.” Or “What was that? I can’t quite hear you past your giggling.”

Dean:

Lee:

He will never admit that he’s ticklish no matter how much you prove it

His laugh can differ, it could be a hearty laugh or a squeaky laugh or if he’s holding back, only a chuckle

Will give you a certain look of warning when you try to tickle him

Like Sam, he’s a fighter and will do everything to get away

Although he secretly likes it but he will never admit that

His most ticklish spots would be his hips and waist

Ler:

Much more likely to be the Ler as he is an older brother after all, meaning he’s a very skilled tickler

Dean has the serious surface when in reality he would be getting butterflies at the sound of your laughter and can’t help but crack a smile

He would definitely tease you if you’re ‘air ticklish’

“I haven’t even touched you yet.”

“Oooo what’s this?”

He can work with both soft and rough tickles, depending on the situation

Big fan of soft soothing tickles during cuddling

Castiel:

Lee:

He would be confused at the sensation at first but after a bit he will actually start to enjoy it

His laughs are usually more quiet, like little chuckles or giggles

After the first time you tickled him he would ask you to do it again because he ‘Likes The Human Experience’

Castiel twitches and squirms a little bit but tries to remain as still as he can

His most ticklish spots are his waist and neck

Ler:

Castiel likes tickling just as much as being tickled because he likes to understand human reactions like that

He’ll be soft with the tickles, smiling at you whilst stopping to make sure you’re okay

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

“Is it okay with you if I continue?”

Uses tickles as a way to cheer you up if you’re sad or upset

He wouldn’t tease you out of risk of embarrassing you, but also because he doesn’t know how

Crowley:

Lee:

Don’t tickle him…just don’t even try

He wouldn’t actually be ticklish but he would threaten to murder you if you tried

Would give you a death stare

“Do that again and I’ll pluck your eyes out and use them in my cocktail.”

Ler:

I feel like he wouldn’t try to tickle you often, but with the soft spot he has for you he can’t help but find it endearing

Uses it as a form of punishment

“Learn your lesson?”

Only uses rough tickles to make his point

Secretly Crowley can be affectionate with you and may give soft tickles during a cuddle

Gabriel:

Lee:

He’s a playful guy so I feel like he’d enjoy being tickled but wouldn’t admit it

Wheezes or laughs whenever he’s tickled

He’ll threaten to tickle you if you try to tickle him

He would probably provoke you with his smartass comments to tickle him

I feel like he’d probably need to be pinned down, which I think he’d like anyway

Gabriel has very ticklish ribs and knees

Ler:

Gabriel is known for loving jokes and pranks so expect to be tickled a lot

Will use mockery and baby talk to tease you

“Aw what’s this? Is that another spot?”

“Someone’s sensitive.”

He would be a smiling/smirking idiot when he hears your laughter

Likes to use both soft and rough tickles as well as tickle hugs, surprise tickle attacks and wake up tickles

Loves when you giggle at neck kisses/love bites

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fandomtherapy44 · 7 months

Text

castiel x reader chapter 14

Summary: This story is from the perspective of Y/n Winchester. The sister Of Sam and Dean. We will be starting from season four since sadly we did not get Misha Collins as Castiel throughout the whole series. It will start off as a friendship, but it will grow more as the series goes on. I will be skipping some episodes even though they are great episodes they do not push the story forward. I am so excited to get to write this since there are not many Castiel X reader stories out there. Okay without further due Love War & Grace enjoy the Story.

Paring: Castiel X Reader

word count: 2,833

Warnings: Some language, Typical Supernatural violence, Spoilers for season four of Supernatural

I got the divider from

Firefly Graphics

Cas’s POV

Orders, obedience, and being a faithful soldier never mattered to me to go against until I met the Winchesters until I met her in particular. My orders to save Dean Winchester I did without thinking twice I did everything asked of me. My whole existence had never been that important until my garrison got the order to save the Winchester from Hell. But before I saved him I saved his sister.

About two months before we got the order I heard one of the biggest cries of help I've ever felt from a human. Angels aren't supposed to answer prayers. That was God’s job but no Angel had seen him in so long all we had was orders from some higher power that I had never seen. So I did something I never thought I would, I answered her prayer. I flew down and I didn’t have a vessel but I did have a presence.

“I don’t know what I’m doing out here I- I'm just so tired so whatever is out there I'm begging you.” She was sobbing on her knees now. “Bring him back! Bring him Back!” I didn’t know what to do. I had never seen human emotions like this before. So I did the only thing I could do.

I lifted my wing and put it on her shoulder as I did something happened, I felt her pain, happiness, and joy. I have never felt really before. It was an overwhelming experience but wonderful at the same time. She began to stop and looked around for what had helped her but couldn't see me so she got up and whispered “Thank you.” That was the first time Y/n Winchester made me feel something but it wouldn't be the last.

Y/N’s POV

After we arrived back at Bobby’s I went straight to sleep pretty sure I had a concussion but I didn't have time to worry about that. We had to find Sam. I woke up to the sounds of Bobby and Dean talking well more like arguing. “Yeah, I heard you. I'm not calling him.” That’s when I walked into the conversation. “What do you mean Dean of course we are calling him.” Dean ignored my sentence. “How’s the head kid.” “I'll live now why won’t you call Sam!?” “We are damn near kickoff for Armageddon, don't you think we got bigger fish at the moment?” “Really! Our brother is not important right now. Dean this is when he needs us now more than ever!” “I know you're pissed. And I'm not making apologies for what he's done, but he's your–” Bobby added in. “Blood? He's my blood, is that what you were gonna say?” Dean snapped back.

“He's your brother. And he's drowning.” “Thank you, Bobby!” “Bobby, we tried to help him, we did. Look what happened.” “So we try again Damnit!” “It's too late.” I scoffed at him. “There's no such thing.” Bobby is trying so hard to convince him because my words aren't doing much. “No, damnit! No. I gotta face the facts. Sam never wanted part of this family. He hated this life growing up. Ran away to Stanford first chance he got. Now it's like déjà vu all over again. Well, I am sick and tired of chasing him. Screw him, he can do what he wants.” “How could you say that Dean! Just because he wanted his own life he’s what, no longer our brother!?” “You don't mean that.” “Yes I do, Bobby. Sam's gone. He's gone. I'm not even sure if he's still my brother anymore. If he ever was.” I gasped and started to tear up.

Bobby looked pissed off to all seven layers of Hell. Knocking things over. Getting in Dean’s face. “You stupid, stupid son of a bitch! Well, boo hoo, I am so sorry your feelings are hurt, princess! Are you under the impression that family's supposed to make you feel good?! Bake you an apple pie, maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!” “I told him, "You walk out that door, don't come back" and he walked out anyway! That was his choice!” “You sound like a whiny brat. No, you sound like your dad. Well, let me tell you something. Your dad was a coward.”

I had never heard Bobby talk about Dad like that. It felt good. “My dad was a lot of things, Bobby, but a coward?” “He'd rather push Sam away than reach out to him. And blame N/n for your Mom’s passing. Well, that don't strike me as brave. You are a better man than your daddy ever was. So you do both of us a favor. Don't be him.” “Dean he’s right you have always been better than Dad.” Dean was facing the window he turned back to respond and I blinked and when I opened my eyes again I was in a room that I'd never been in before.

“What… the… fuck maybe I should have gotten my head checked out.” The room was traced out in gold and famous art hung on the walls. It looked like a room that would cost a thousand dollars just to get in. “This is real Y/n and you do have a small concussion. “Of fucking course.” It was Zachariah.

“So what is all this and where the Hell is Dean.” I gestured around the room, and then I noticed in the middle of the table were all my favorite snacks and drinks. “This Y/n is a waiting room and to answer your second question that you asked so nicely he’s in the other one.” “What am I waiting for?” “Well, it’s really to hold you from stopping your brothers.” He saw my confused face. “You know that face is almost cute, if we let you go you would try to stop Sam and we can’t have that.” “Why!?” “Because it is Dean’s destiny, not your’s. Your’s is to support from the sidelines because sweetheart you were born for the sidelines.” I never wanted a knife in my hands more. He picks up a drink and sips it in satisfaction. “Oh, I heard about your little spat with Castiel so Sad.” I didn't even have a comeback. “I'll come get you when everything is said and done… maybe.” He disappeared with his stupid smirk. I sat down thinking how the Hell I would get out of this one.

I pick up my phone and give Sam a call and of course no answer. At least I can leave a message “Sam I know you feel guilty about hurting us. But the thing is I already forgive you because I know you. You my big brother who has always been there for me, you taught me that it was okay to want something more than this life that we got sucked into because of Dad. I don’t think I ever told you but uh I was so proud of you for Stanford I am still. So please whatever happens know I lo-”

The message got cut off. I threw the phone and as I did it passed Cas. “I heard you got hurt.” “Oh so suddenly the distraction can get medical help.” “Y/n please.” “No, you know what Cas I have never seen you as a way to get things. I have always chosen this friendship over that! I don’t know what got in you but right now that doesn't matter I need you to bring me to Sam.”

“Have you forgotten what happened the last time you met?” “No. That's the whole point. He needs us.” “No.” “What do you mean, no? Are you saying that I'm trapped here?” “You can go wherever you want.” “Great, then I want to see Sam.” “Except there.” “Of course. Whatever screw you, I'm out of here.” I walk towards the door. “Through what door?” I look again and the doors and Cas are gone.

I pick up a mini-statue and start to hit the wall one way or another I was going to get out of here. I hit the wall so hard that dust flew in my eyes I went to rub them and when I went back the wall looked brand new. “Really! Fuck!” I threw the statue down and it smashed in pieces. “You and your brother could be twins with how you're like monkeys.”It was Zachariah. “Let me go.” “Like I said we can't have you stop Sam that is Dean’s job.” “I think that’s bullshit because why does it matter who stops him as long we stop… you don’t want it to stop do you?” “You're smarter than I thought and nope. Never did. The end is nigh. The apocalypse is coming, kiddo, to a theater near you.” He’s so smug in his words.

“And the seals?” “Our grunts on the ground -- we couldn't just tell them the whole truth. We'd have a full-scale rebellion on our hands. I mean, think about it. Would we really let 65 seals get broken unless senior management wanted it that way?” “And Cas is one of those grunts.” He laughs at my words. “You know this little friendship between the two of you was cute in the beginning but now it’s just annoying. Of course, he is, sweetheart I mean that’s all he was ever and all he is going to be.” “Why the apocalypse?” “Why not? The apocalypse? Poor name, bad marketing -- puts people off. When all it is is Ali/Foreman. On a... slightly larger scale. And we like our chances. When our side wins -- and we will -- it's paradise on earth. Now, what's not to like about that?” “What about all people in your pissing match.”

“Well... you can't make an omelet without cracking a few eggs. In this case... truckloads of eggs, but you get the picture. Look... it happens. This isn't the first planetary enema we've delivered.” He sits down on the couch like it was a throne. “ “What about Sam? He won't go quietly. He'll stop Lilith.” “Sam... has a part to play. A very important part. He may need a little nudging in the right direction, but I'll make sure he plays it.” “What the hell does that mean?” “Don’t worry as I said that it is for Dean.” “Tell me something. Where's God in all this?” “God? God has left the building.” That left chills down my spine.

I tried to call Sam and Dean but of course, all I got was busy signals. It was like being a kid again being kept on the sidelines while my brothers and Dad hunted. I hated it then and now I despise it. I hear those damn wings flutter. “You won't be able to reach them Y/n.” “What are you going to do to Sam?” I asked him not daring to look up, already knowing the answer. “Nothing. He's gonna do it to himself.” “And what does that even mean Cas?” I finally looked at him. “Right I mean I’m just a distraction so why tell me anything.” I chuckled dryly. “I don't even know why you're here?”

“You are a not distraction!” “Really! What changed your Damn mind!?” “I thought about everything we’ve been together and you never used me for my powers I just didn't want it to end like this.” “What? Me mad at you because you hurt me. When you call someone a distraction you don’t just say sorry and everything is dandy Cas.” “I mean what does our friendship mean to you cause I'll tell you what you mean to me!” At this point, my emotions were in charge of everything.

“Cas you saved me, without you, I probably would have made a deal with the devil himself to get Dean back! You have been the one light that has not burned out on me. You're my best friend. I would take all the pain in the world for another second of banter from my brothers. Another Idjit from Bobby. Another minute of you being happy is what our friendship means to me, what about you?” I ended with tears rolling down my face. He didn't answer. “You know what my brother is about to die because of a destiny put together way before we were ever even a thought of our brothers I would like to spend my last hour thinking about my family instead with a spineless coward so go.” “Y/n-” “GO!” He flies and I fall to my knees crying out soul.

I didn't even know what to think or to feel. I am a whole mess of emotions. I was never going to see my brothers or Bobby again and … Cas. Damnit before I would say goodbye to any jackass who would be like this to me but Cas has somehow avoided my complete wrath and that only means one thing. But I didn't get much time to dwell on it until he showed up again. “Cas I told you-” Then he completely shocks me and shoves me up against the wall covering my mouth.

He takes out a knife and wow that is the last time I tell someone how their friendship means to me. Then he cuts himself. Zachariah flashes in “Castiel! Would you mind explaining just what the hell you're doing?” Cas makes a sigil and Zach flashes out. “Cas what is going On!?” “He won't be gone long. We have to find Sam now.” “Where is he?” “I don't know. But I know who does. We have to stop him, Y/n, from killing Lilith.” ‘But Lilith's gonna break the final seal.” “Lilith is the final seal. She dies, the end begins.”

We grabbed Dean and we popped into Chuck’s house. Unfortunately, we popped in when he was ordering some type of service that included women's company. He sees us and is flabbergasted and disappointed. “Wait. T-t-this isn't supposed to happen.” The poor woman on the other end spoke. “No, lady, this is definitely supposed to happen, but I just got to call you back.” “St. Mary's? What is that, a convent?” Dean asked. “Yeah, but you guys aren't supposed to be there. You're not in this story. Especially you Y/n.” “As I keep being told.” I sarcastically say with an annoyed smile on my face.

“Yeah, well… We're making it up as we go.” Cas said looking at me and I gave him a small smile in return. At that moment the walls started to shake and bright light was invading the windows. “Aw, man! Not again! No!” Chuck yelled out. Cas turned to me. “I'll hold him off! I'll hold them all off! Just stop Sam!” “WHAT NO I'M NOT LEAVING YOU CAS!” I screamed at him. “You were right from before, you are my best friend and because of you I can freely feel. Thank you, Y/n Winchester” He grabs my shoulder and Dean’s. “Cas No NO-” We drop into the convent.

“Don’t worry Y/n I'm sure he's okay he's an angel he's Cas.” Cas you stupid son of a bitch for making me… “Ok let's go get our dumbass brother.” We run down the hall and what we see is not good. Ruby Sees us and slams the door with her mind. I knew that bitch wasn't really turned good. We ran over. “SAM! SAM!” We pounded on the door. “Dean wait wait ok 1…2…3!” We kicked the door open. “You're too late.” She said so smugly. “I dont care.” Sam held her. I grabbed the demon's knife and stabbed her.

“I.told.you” She dropped to the floor dead. In the middle of the ground next to dead Lillith a bright white light shot up and everything started to shake. Sam looks at both of us with a shamed look. “Guys I’m sorry.” Dean grabs our shoulders. “Guy’s let's go!” We run to the door and it closes in front of us. “Guys... he's coming.” This was it. The end times the devil and of course, we were right smack in the middle of but we are Winchesters we could do anything.

Well guys that was it I just got to spill my soul real quick lol. I just want to thank everyone that has read this story that has liked it and read it and looked at it. I am planning to do all seasons which might take awhile but it is my goal to make a great story to the best of my abilities. So excited for the next book. I love season 5 so much I don't know when the next chapter will be I want to focus on my other stories for a little while. But overall thank you for reading the first book of love, war and grace. See you y'all next time hopefully on my other stories but for now xoxo Gossip Girl ;) ;)

#castiel x reader #castiel #castiel x y/n #spn fanfic #dean winchester #sam winchester #team free will #spnfandom #supernatural #Supernatural Season 4 #castiel x you #Castiel x reader series masterlist #bobby singer #bobby spn #cas spn #cas x reader #cas x y/n #cas masterlist

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