#thank you for tagging me this was not something I'd have done otherwise

[fastcardotmp3]

Self Rec Game

tagged by the lovely @capriciouslyterminal @stevethehairington @starorbs💖

Rules: recommend three of your own fics (1 most popular, two hidden gems) then tag some people!

I only have 4 fics on ao3 so perhaps this is pointless but it is also fun shhhh

tagging anyone who sees this and wants to do it! I am giving you permission to toot your own horn, so do it! <3

Most Popular

someone else's favorite song (120k)

I was kind of surprised at how many people really stuck around for the long haul with this one, but then again I guess I just discovered that in writing what I wanted to see in the world I found other people who also wanted to see it. We're all just looking for our grief to be understood huh &lt;3

Eddie couldn’t tear his eyes away if he tried. Madeline Harrington hadn’t ever known about the ways her son had saved the world, had saved most of them in one way or another, but she’d called him her feathered thing and it’s the most accurate nickname he’s ever heard for the Hair, the King, the Babysitter.

They— the whole collective world of them— had always called him by what he did or what he had but not by what he is.

But his mother had known. She had seen her son through all the growing and changing and she had named him hope.

Hidden Gems

that's just wasteland, baby! (19k)

My apocalyptic post s4 Hawkins baby with all my silly little worldbuilding that I am so proud of and an open ending I would love to revisit one day. I love this little world and I'm really proud for doing the slice of life thing for once. Steve needs some new boots, a nap, and a little smooch smooch

“Okay,” a hand accompanies that steady voice, steady in its own right as it splays gently across the back of his skull, fingers spread wide enough to push against the pressure building in the soft spots right behind Steve’s ears.

Steve would be embarrassed at the sound he makes, one of relief and exhaustion and giving in to both that hums at the back of his throat in a spot dangerously close from where one might begin a moan, if not for the pleased little hum Eddie makes as he deepens the soothing pressure, rubs little circles.

“Okay,” Eddie repeats when Steve doesn’t speak further than just that sound opening up a gap somewhere deep in his aching lungs, “so here’s the thing— I’m a guy from maintenance, and I’m not going back to Waterfront with you ‘til you’ve slept for at minimum ninety minutes. So. Might wanna get on that.”

METAMORPHOSES (39k + counting)

Very much still a work in progress, but I'm having so much fun working/releasing this one because I have Plans and I can't wait to see how they play out. Sort-of-Kas (it'll make sense one of these days I promise), post-possession, recovery and slow burn shenanigans all in my beloved Eddie's POV I'm so excited about this little world

“It’s only,” Eddie breathes out, lets his ear lilt towards his shoulder and his eyes really look at the man beside him, “you make me nervous, Steve Harrington.”

It’s the most honest he’s been in a long time, he thinks, despite all the honesty Steve himself has pulled out of Eddie recently. This is still top of the pile, this is still bigger than the rest, this is still vulnerability incarnate because Eddie doesn’t even know what it means yet.

Steve studies him when he says it, seems to mull the words over in that thoughtful way he does with the little crinkle between his brows and the almost involuntary knick of his teeth over his bottom lip.

Eddie doesn’t know what response he’s expecting to the admission, because he hardly knows what he’s admitted to, but this isn’t quite it.

“Is that something I’m supposed to apologize for?”

Eddie guffaws. The words are harsh and blunt and a little bit bitchy, but his tone is earnest, plain and simple. Steve is actually asking, because he doesn’t know.

“No,” Eddie says through his dwindling laughter, letting his fork fall with a clatter to his plate, “no, you ain’t got nothing to apologize for, sweetheart.”

[cripplecharacters]

How to go about writing tics? I have tics but I never know how to write them naturally, especially cause I often forget I even have them. To me it's like describing blinking or something? But I of course want the character to notably have tics, even though my internal experience of tics isn't very noticeable to me? If that makes sense?

Hello!

Jerk, California by Jonathan Friesen is a book about a character (Sam) with Tourette's syndrome, written by an author who also has Tourette's. One of the things I really appreciated about the book was that it described Sam's tics in a way that made sense with how they felt as somebody with Tourette's.

In the book, Sam's tics are generally described when they're relevant. Usually, this is either to show that he's upset/otherwise worked up about something or as a way to build tension within the narrative itself. Although it doesn't necessarily mean that Sam isn't ticcing otherwise, it came across as the tics being more noticeable in those moments -- which I felt was a nice touch.

Consider the following passage from the book:

I glance around. My muscles don't jerk, and I close my eyes. I breathe deep, and like the third runner who finally catches up, the overtakes me. Slowly at first–a hard eyeblink. But that's not enough; there's more that has to work its way out, and my teeth grind. Movement spreads to my shoulder, and soon my whole body springs to twitchy life.

Even without the rest of the context of the scene, the description of his tics is enough to convey how he's feeling in the moment.

In the more mellow portions of the book, his tics aren't generally described at all, which helps it to feel more calm.

Another thing I liked it that they're described in the same way as any other action or movement.

This is another passage from the book:

The class groans, Heather swears, and my shoulder jumps. My elbow knocks my textbook to the floor with a thump.

Although the author doesn't explicitly say that Sam is ticcing, we as readers can get that idea from the way it's described. Essentially, this is to say that you don't need to explicitly specify when something is a tic or not – your audience will generally pick up on it.

With verbal tics (Especially ones that involve speech), it can be a bit harder. There's a kind of balance you want to strike between showing the tics and still making sure that the dialogue is readable.

While discussing verbal tics that occur outside of dialogue (i.e. Not interrupting the character's speech), I'd suggest marking the tic as such through dialogue tags. Words such as "blurted" or "exclaimed" can imply an unintentional aspect to the speech.

You could also describe how the character is experiencing the tic themself (If it's from their POV).

This is another passage from Jerk, California:

"No thanks, Jace. I'll stay with Sam." "Hah!" The word fires from my mouth. I purse my lips and bite my swollen tongue, but my vocal cords are locked and there's nothing I can do. "Stay with Sam! Stay with Sam!"

If you're writing in the POV of another character, you could describe how it looks from their perspective. Though I'd be careful with this, as it can come across as mockery if it's not done well.

With verbal tics that do interrupt dialogue, be careful to ensure it's not too frequent as it can make it difficult to read. I'd also suggest using some sort of formatting to identify tics vs general dialogue.

An example could be: (Note: This is not from the book)

"You know, I don't think–hey!–that would be a good idea."

That said, you would have to establish that the character has tics beforehand (And, ideally, establish this speech pattern as such), otherwise it can look more like an interruption or something similar.

I'd definitely suggest taking a glance through some books about characters with tics, just to see the format that other authors use. There's a wide range of options out there and the book I referenced here is just one of many ways to do it.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icarus

[blindfaithmate]

All the Drarry Fics I've read and loved - Part 2

Back with another list.

No one ever told me by Slight Weasel - It is a one-shot where Harry marries Draco to keep him out of Azkaban. Harry says a lot of 'er', and Draco is doing his best to not be a prick. Harry's POV shows a Draco who has changed and is doing his best in drastic circumstances. It is an MPreg fic, so please read the tags before you jump in. I like reading MPreg fics, so I loved it.

Slutty Butter by Drarryweather - The best three-shot smut fic I've ever read (After Hoko_onchi - honestly, I love them; have read almost everything by them and 10/10 recommend). The writing is fantastic, the ending is satisfying, and there is a kinky Draco who unlocked several kinks for me. Everybody wins.

We're Not Friends by Alexmeg - I read this and cried a lot. Deals with heavy stuff. It is a short fic. But I feel this deals with what happens with Draco after the war at Hogwarts realistically. People leave him alone. And he is not just alone; he is lonely. So when he asks to meet Harry one day, it is suspicious. Ends on a happy note (I don't read fics with sad endings, so trust me, read this). Good fic. (I have also read Tell me a secret by them - this is also good but the ending felt off. Also, took me a long time to get into this fic. It is inspired by Grounds for Divorce so I had high hopes tbh. But oh well)

Not Mine, Never Yours by CapricornBookworm - Oh dear lord, we love oblivious Harry and pining Draco, but at one point, I was screaming at Harry to just realise that he's in love with Draco. And the ending soothed my burnt Drarry soul. And we get Charlie Weasley. Honestly, the best and the hottest Weasley. Would also recommend other fics by them. I've read them all. If I like a fic, I read all the other fics by the author.

Get What You Knead by dodgerkedavra - Harry is a shopowner and, fortunately/unfortunately, ends up buying a shop opposite Draco. The way Harry gets re(?)-obsessed with Draco is hilarious. Love this one-shot. If you are a cat lover, you'd definitely love this one.

All In Due Time by gnarf - It is an MPreg, and honestly, it has cinnamon roll Scorpius and I loved him. My heart broke for Draco in this fic. It was like one after the other thing was going bad for him. And Harry could've stepped in earlier. But I guess that's why this fic works and is aptly titled. Because you finally see Draco happy with his kids and find love with Harry after he has somewhat healed. Love this journey for them.

A Shower, A Meal, A Nap, and A Shag by chickenlivesinpumpkin - This is an 8-parter fic. Read it only if you are of a strong heart and can take rough, and I mean rough af smut cuz even I had to skip certain parts. It has a fantastic possessive, jealous, and obsessive Harry but you know there's something wrong. In one of the parts, they kinda break up (not a spoiler), and again, if don't like such a vivid description of a break up then skip that part. The fic, otherwise, is a masterpiece. I have realised a masterpiece fic will often bring up issues for you, and you will want to add disclaimers. The author has also done so. So, read this fic, but only if you're in a strong mind space. Read the tags before you get into it.

we have heard on high by oflights - Oh, this is a lovely fic. A soulmate au, where Harry knows who his soulmate but Draco doesn't know it yet. There's a good backstory to it. It is a long one-shot. It is a good late-night light read. I have definitely read more fics by this author but can't recall any at the moment. So do check them out.

I hope you all like the recs. Let me know if you have read any of them or read them after my rec and liked it? I mean it's okay if you don't but I'd love it if you do, you know? Also, thanks for all the love on my last rec list.

I will definitely come back with another list. Till then, keep reading, writing, and loving Drarry 💚🩶 (always grateful to the authors who write fics and share their art with us)

PS. Some of these fics will require you to have an ao3 account.

[hughiecampbelle]

10k Follower Ship Celebration! ❤️🤍💙

My loves!!!! This is so wild!!! THANK YOU!!! Thank you for supporting me and my silly writing. Thank you for the likes, and reblogs, and especially the comments (it's embarrassing how much I reread them lol). Thank you for being here and loving The Boys/Gen V as much as I do :) I don't want to get too sappy lol, but writing has been the one constant in my life since I started this blog. It's gotten me through the worst times in my life and I know, no matter what, I can always come back to it regardless of how long it's been and find so many of my friends like no time has passed!!! I want to show my love by opening up ships again, but this time they're gonna be a little different (in a good way!!!) Please be sure to read the rules and remember all requests are open!!! Xoxoxo❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙

RULES:

Only one ship per person - I wanna make sure it’s fair for everyone and that I have time for everyone :)

These ships are only for the The Boys and Gen V fandom!- It’s what I feel inspire to write right now, so any other fandoms will not be written for with these ships!

Specify! - Please specify which fandom you'd want to be paired with, gender you'd want to be paired with, and, if it is an issue, who you don't want to be shipped with (ex: I'd love a ship from Gen V, for any character, just not Cate Dunlap)

Please be kind! - I am one person who is doing this to show my love and appreciation for the fandom as well as the people who are constantly supporting my silly writing. Please remember to be kind when requesting and please try not to make demands, if that makes sense? I love doing ships, but sometimes the attitudes around them can turn something fun into something discouraging and quickly lead to burnout

SHIPS ARE OPEN: August 24th -> September 3rd

ANYTHING SENT AFTER WILL BE DELETED UNLESS SPECIFIED OTHERWISE!

WHAT TO INCLUDE:

The most important thing would be to include what gender/s you’d want to be shipped with and if you want The Boys, The Seven, Gen V or either/no preference to be paired with! I wouldn’t want to ship anyone with a character they’re personally uncomfortable with :) I will 100% respect your request!

Because these are going to be aesthetics, I think the most important things to include are what you look like, your personal style, personality, type of people you typically like/date, favorite things about yourself, interests, hobbies, favorite books, movies, bands, animals, harry potter house, favorite places, dream jobs/homes/lifestyle/future, pet peeves, etc. Basically anything that you find unique to you! Things that can't really be put into aesthetics are things like mental health issues, etc. so please try to limit that kind of information.

WHAT WILL IT INCLUDE:

Because these ships are going to be different from the last ones, I want to keep it a surprise, but just know it'll include an aesthetic of your relationship and maybe even a little blurb of writing!

PLEASE REMEMBER:

I’ve done this before under the #johnnyshellby-ships / #jammesbarnnes-ships / #kaitbishop-ships (my old urls) so I’m gonna tag this #hughiecampbelle10k-ships in case you’d want to block it for any reason!

I’ll try to get to these asap and they’ll be posted between other posts and requests, but please understand I am one person so they might take some time! Xoxoxo❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙

[ominous-feychild]

✦ Writer Questionnaire 2 ✦

Thanks for the tag, @the-golden-comet! (And @the-letterbox-archives tagging me when I was almost done here, haha)

Heads-up! Long post!

How long have you had your writing Tumblr/Writeblr? A fast and loose estimate is fine!

Two months ago to the date actually??? Or, at least, that's when I first uploaded a story here. My first actual Writeblr post was me hopping in on an open tag on the 6th of June, haha. I thought it was just a month, but looks like the summer's gone by in a flash! 😭

What led you to create it?

So, I'm a writer on Tapas! I'd been attempting to social network on other social medias (twitter and bluesky) but wasn't getting anywhere, didn't like the general formats, and uh... I'm sure I don't have to explain why I don't want to touch Twitter with a 10-foot-pole anymore. Let's just say, if you haven't seen, it's just as bad as (if not worse than) everyone says. Anyhow, I'd seen lots of Tumblr short stories on other platforms and started investigating what it's like here. Didn't know what "Writeblr" was or that it even existed, but eventually stumbled into the field after posting my short story. Thanks, @darkandstormydolls! ❤️

What’s your favorite thing about the Writeblr community?

How supportive everyone is??? Like omg you guys are so sweet, idk how to take it. Also I love seeing how much passion everyone else has for their writing, haha.

What’s one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you?

Uhhhh, I think I'm pretty open about the things I'd like people to know about me, haha. I never mean to offend, so if I accidentally say something wrong, please tell me! I'm autistic and very dumb.

Is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash?

I'm ngl I keep meaning to build out my followed tags for my fandoms, haha. The only fandoms I really see things for are TMAGP (10/10, TMA is my obsession. I am obsessed. It is one of my Special Interests and I love it with all my heart) and House of the Dragon??? Except I'm not even a fan of HotD??? So that's kinda annoying, haha. (Aka, my fandom stuff, but that's on me.)

WIP it Good

Which Works-in-Progress (WIPs) or writing projects are you noodling about, lately?

Rising From the Ashes, tragically. (Because it's one of the LAST things I should be working on right now, haha.) Otherwise, I'm of course always obsessed with the Arcane Rifts. Then I force myself to be obsessed with Sun and Shadow, though it's slowly growing on me, haha.

How long have you been working on them?

Haha, so I've historically jumped around a lot in working on different things, so these are approximate guesstimations!

Rising From the Ashes has likely had 3 or 4 years put into it/the characters. If you include the Calamity Crew (which overlaps with it in the timeline and originally ended up merging with the cast of RFtA), I'd say definitely 4 years!

The Arcane Rifts has had 5 years put into it.

Sun and Shadow is very new; I'd say it probably only has about 4 months of work in it? It's part of why I'm less interested in it, haha. Less I've put into it and less I'm attached to.

Do you remember what inspired them/what got you started?

Oh... oh dear. How could you ask me this??? 😭😭😭

Rising From the Ashes has existed since, I think, 2016. It started (tragically) as an RP starter on Google+. I wish I was kidding.

To those unaware of how it worked in that space (and likely similar ones to this day), you'd post a starter and people would join in with their own characters. 99% of the time, they'd drop out before long. However, I'd work out details of the characters in the process and carry that info over into the worldbuilding. I eventually stopped RPing with the masses and settled down with a single "partner" who I'll call Kris.

She's the one who stole my docs.

The Arcane Rifts technically originated as another RP starter? It never got attention, though, and instead my ideas for it simply carried over into the worldbuilding in general.

One of the characters of the original starter was important in the worldbuilding. It was not a character you see in the early books of tAR, though, so don't bother trying to figure it out. But, since he was so important, his origins were also important.

The Arcane Rifts started in 2019, as I wanted to make a story building out said character's origins. It was originally going to be a duology, the first book being Gene's backstory and the second being how Gene and The Other Guy's lives intertwined. (No, they were not gay for each other! 😂) It's since changed a lot, and focuses basically exclusively on Gene, haha. The last book in the series will probably be focused on the other character, though!

Sun and Shadow started for a romance novel competition on Tapas which has since ended. I didn't get to finish it in time for a lot of reasons, but I primarily cite stress and exhaustion from working full time at a physically-intensive job. It grew shockingly quickly and I had some fans donate to me related to it, so I'm kinda forced to work on it, haha. Dw--I like it! It's just harder to work on for a number of reasons, haha.

How much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them?

Tragic, the questions you're asking me--

It depends, haha. I'm autistic and hyperfixate a lot. Also, for one, that's a suuuuuper vague question??? Like what do you mean "how much time"--how much time within the day? How often in general? Idk, man, haha.

I think about the Arcane Rifts a LOT!

I've put an incredible amount of time and effort into it, and I'm in love with 90% of the characters there. Even the background characters have had a lot of work put into them, getting relatively fleshed-out backstories to make their motives understandable (even if not agreeable!), and I love them all so much, haha.

Except Katerina. She's a bitch.

I also think about Rising From the Ashes a good amount, and it's invaded my brain again lately, haha.

I took a step away from RFtA and basically all of my other stories late 2021 when Kris (my ex-writing partner) and I had a falling out. It was incredibly difficult for me emotionally to look at anything I worked with her on, and obviously RFtA was a huge one (actually, tAR was the only thing of my early works she had nothing to do with). Since early this year, I've finally been able to work on it again and it's been incredibly fun removing her stuff, actually!

I think all that is a good part of why I keep randomly getting obsessed with it again, haha. It's like looking at old friends (the characters, not Kris) and being all "omg??? I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN FOREVER??? PLEASE TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU'VE BEEN UP TO!!!" except it's removing Kris's stuff, haha.

I think about Sun and Shadow a lot more than you might expect with how much I talk about not preferring it, haha. I love the characters! Crow and, actually, Valyarus especially. They're both super interesting characters, and I'll randomly find my brain working out scenes between characters interacting with them.

(The problem with SaS is that, as a book, it's incredibly different from my usual works. It's a small cast of Frey/Crow and technically Daleira, while most of my stories focus on larger casts. It makes for a VERY different experience, and so it's a lot harder to work on)

When someone asks the dreaded, “What do you write about,” question, what do you usually say?

Actually, I've got a ready answer for this one! Until SaS, I was dedicating my time to the Arcane Rifts and had prepared the answer:

Percy Jackson meets Lord of the Rings in a steampunk fantasy world full of ✨mysteries waiting to be uncovered✨

(I'd say the "mysteries waiting to be uncovered" part ironically/accidentally mockingly most of the time, whoops, haha. I always feel awkward advertising my works.)

It was awkward when people would get actually interested in it from there and ask more questions, haha.

To clarify: that's my tagline for the Arcane Rifts! The story has gods and demigods messing with mortals, using them as their playthings and being REALLY immature babies because they don't really face consequences for their actions like PJ. Then, it's a lot more "grounded yet fantastical" like LotR, where magic is kinda infused with reality and yet you still have issues like starving to death and whatnot.

Let’s Rotate Blorbos

Name any characters you created.  Side characters, protagonists, antagonists, characters who’ve never been written, the first original abomination you ever pulled from your ass; whomever you’d like!

UHHHH THERE'S A LOT TO LIST???

Try this for a taste! These are just the guys I've gotten colors for!

Freya, Crow, Daleira, Valyarus, Grimnir, Soren, Gene, Tazin, Mislav, Adilzhan, Ludmila, Rada, Caspar, Nikolai, Gennadi, Oska, Rieka, Liesel, Carmin, Nora, Sammy, Kieva, Caron, Varik, Elazi, Riaan, Roman, and Tiberius! (Though Tib is getting a name change sooner or later)

Who’s the most unhinged?

Unhinged in which way? There's a lot of options there, haha.

I'm going to give honorary mentions to Valyarus, Gene in the later books, Tazin, Rieka, Gennadi, and Tiberius ! (Why does it not surprise me that most unhinged characters are from tAR? 🤣 Also I swear it's a coincidence most of the unhinged characters are red.)

(... Probably.)

In general, I'd say that, incredibly ironically, the Existence of Order is the most unhinged of all my characters. She's just incredible at hiding it.

(Tbf half of the Existentials probably belong on the "unhinged" list anyway but eh. They still don't compare to Order!)

Who comes the most naturally for you to write?

I'm going to give this as a tie between Gene and Sammy!

Gene has my 'tisms and just about all of my trauma, so we have a lot in common, whoops, haha. Also there's a... very specific detail about his character that makes him easier to write in general. It's just a major spoiler. 👀

Similarly and actually identically to Gene in some ways, while Sammy has a lot in common with me, he's also incredibly perceptive! (Although we don't share that fact.)

Due to the way I write, their analytical natures allow for them to spit straight facts about the worldbuilding and the people around them rather than beating around the bush, haha. Both are highly investigative, try to learn and understand everything around them, and notice small details other characters wouldn't! It makes it much easier for me to write, because uh... well here's an example of what my outlines look like.

Long story short: I include a lot of detail which I then transfer into the POV's character narration, cutting out details which they wouldn't notice or think about, haha. In Sammy's case (which that scene has Sammy as the narrator/POV character), very little information gets cut out because he's so perceptive!

(Here, as a treat--have another example!)

(In this scene, Nikolai is the narrator. Even the outline gets "filtered" to mirror the characters' way of thinking--like it's Nikolai himself seeing Caspar as "doll-like". The crossed-out stuff is details I most likely won't mention, but noted for myself, haha. I do the same thing if/when including details about the motives and thoughts of non-narrator characters.)

Do you ever cringe at them?

Gene and Sammy?

A B S O L U T E L Y .

Gene is a wreck in basically every way and desperately needs help (that he won't get until he meets Dimitry). As much as I love him, there's a lot of moments where you just can't help but wince and be all "shit, did you REALLY have to do/say that?"

Sammy on the other hand? He's a terrified, control freak manipulator who panics the moment he feels like he's losing control of a situation. It can be painful to watch, even if simultaneously fascinating.

How much control do you feel you have over your characters?  AKA, do they ever “write themselves,” refuse to cooperate, or do things you didn’t expect? To what degree? Are some less cooperative than others?

I explicitly go out of my way to add backstory to and develop each and every one of my characters until they "write themselves", haha.

I want my characters to feel like real people, so I do my absolute best to make them as real as possible. (That's part of why tAR is so massive...)

Special shoutout to Dimitry here, btw. Dude COMPLETELY screwed over the planned and intended from the earliest days path of the Arcane Rifts. I've mentioned before that Gene is villain-coded, yeah? Want to know why?

Because he was MEANT to be one! Then Dimitry had to come along, be the sweetest, nicest fucking person around to Gene while he was going through the worst part of his life, and keep Gene from slipping off the deep end!

MITRY, YOU PIECE OF--

Do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters? And do you have a preferred means of receiving said questions? For example, as Asks, as replies, as reblogs, as tag notes, as comments on AO3, etc.

I absolutely love, love, love!!! people asking questions about my characters!!! 🥰

I would absolutely prefer them as Asks sent to me, and especially would prefer if separate subjects/questions were sent in separate Asks! Like, say you were going to ask me about Gene and Dimitry. I'd rather two separate Asks, one asking for whatever you wanted to know about Gene and another for whatever you wanted to know about Dimitry, haha. However, if you wanted to ask a single question about both, that obviously is fine as a single Ask!

On writeblr engagement

What makes you want to follow another Writeblr account? Do you follow ‘em as you see ‘em, or take time scoping out the blog to make sure you align with its content? Do you follow based on WIPs, or vibes?

I definitely scope out before I follow, yes.

I choose based primarily on the personality of the person behind the blog, but the WIPs/vibes can also have an influence on my decision, haha. I'd rather follow people with kind/supportive personalities, and I'll eventually start liking their stories even if they're not initially my thing!

What makes you decide against following?

Bigotry. Moment I see it, I'm on the lookout for even the slightest hint of more and, if I see it, I'm OUT!

(That includes things like: homophobia, transphobia, TERFs, ableism, racism, xenophobia, etc.)

Also, while I include angst in my stories, the people who are big on "I have nothing but bad stuff in my writing and I'm proud" are, uh... not on my "follow" list. While they can write what they want and enjoy it, grimdark is not my thing. Angst is best in moderation and I very purposely control the amount of it in my life.

(Also Kris's--my ex writing partner's--obsession with "grimdark-ness" is a good part of why I'm so ecstatic to remove her stuff from my writing. Yes, I've tried it. For years. I hated it. Please and thank you. Also note that I proudly call myself an evil writer, so it's not like I don't love angst, it's just--moderation. Seriously.)

Do you interact with non-mutuals often?

Yes! I think a good 50-30% of my interactions are with non-moots, haha. I go out of my way to try to support my moots, but I'll definitely share support with anything that catches my attention, no matter who it's from!

To be fair, though, I think a majority of non-moots I interact with are on my mental "probably going to follow soon" list. I can be slow to make decisions, haha. It doesn't help that I try being active with my moots, so I'm trying to avoid growing that list too quickly!

Do your mutuals’ characters occupy space in your noodle?

Haha, depends what you mean by that? My brain is definitely too full of my own characters to have any space for anyone else's, but I definitely do think of others' characters at times! There's plenty of y'alls characters I really like, haha.

Just... omg, my hyperfixated AuDHD brain refuses to focus on anything except for the Hyperfixation of the Moment™.

This was a huge one! Hopefully I'm not screaming into the void with this one, or you guys enjoy finding out more about me and my WIPs.

If you're curious about the reason this is labeled Writer Questionnaire 2... well guess what!

Tagging (gently! This is a lot, haha): @honeybewrites @yourpenpaldee @paeliae-occasionally @mysticstarlightduck @illarian-rambling @.darkandstormydolls (tagged you earlier in the post haha) + open tags!

Divider from @cafekitsune!

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Get to Know Me Tag :)

I was tagged by @telomeke and @hughungrybear. Thanks for tagging me!

do you make your bed?

It depends... I live in the part of the world where it's usual to have a duvet in a duvet cover and a sheet covering the mattress, and I have a duvet twice the width of my bed so it usually doesn't get rucked up during the night, so when I get up I fold over the top third of the duvet to air out the mattress/sheet. If it's a work day, it will stay like this until I get home, then I will usually pull the duvet back over the bed. If it's a weekend, I might make the bed again midday. I like it when my bed looks made.

what's your favourite number?

I'm not sure why but I like the number 7, and then also the numbers 4 and 3 because they make up 7. I've never really considered numbers beyond single digits to be 'favourites'. But if I did it would be my birthday day. Oh and I don't really use favourite numbers as important passwords or pins or the such...jsyk.

what is your job?

The work I do is quite niche, so I never really want to say too much because I'm pretty discoverable online with a few key words...but then sometimes I really want y'all to know what I do because it's unusual (and, I think, quite cool!)...but without revealing too much I work in the arts sector - specifically dance.

if you could go back to school, would you?

School, as in aged 11-16? Absolutely the hell no. But school as in higher education, degrees, masters, or smaller qualifications for my general interests? Well, I sort of did a few years ago (*she looks at the calendar and realises it's more than 'a few'*). I did a Creative Writing Masters over 2019-2020, which was GREAT to do but sort of killed my spirit and drive to be a writer...but whatever, I can always pick it back up again in the future if it returns. I also went to classes to learn Swedish when I lived in Sweden and I'm going to a different language class now one evening a week. I enjoy studying...but I get too focused on getting good grades.

can you parallel park?

Yes but I only do it when the space is big enough for me to confidently do it (especially with all these sensors beeping nowadays) and usually only on the side of the road opposite to the steering wheel (I can drive on both sides of the road).

a job you had that would surprise people?

I think my whole career is probably surprising to people but in the sense that I think people are mostly confused because they don't really understand what I really do on a day to day basis.

do you think aliens are real?

I think it would be incredible if in this whole universe we are the only planet who has developed 'life'. Aliens don't necessarily have to be intelligent life like us (and that's debatable sometimes!), so yes, I think somewhere in this universe there is another planet which has the conditions for some form of life, whether we could survive there or not.

can you drive a manual car?

Yes, I learnt on one and have managed to adapt to both right-hand and left-hand gear sticks, although I'm still a little 'fumbly' with the right-hand gear stick. I prefer automatics when in a traffic jam but otherwise I'm happy to drive whichever. Sometimes it's good to have something to focus on when driving, so a manual is good. The problem happens if I've used different hire cars in a short period of time (which I need to do sometimes with work) and when I forget I'm in a manual and brake coming up to to a junction and just...stall because I forget to change down gears 😂

what's your guilty pleasure?

If a guilty pleasure is something I'd feel shy or embarrassed admitting or talking to others about...then it would probably be watching ql or reading fanfic 😂 Other than that I'm not sure I have anything...I enjoy what I enjoy and don't feel guilt over it.

tattoos?

No but I've always thought about getting one but I think the thought of the work I'd have to do to find someone I would really trust to permanently mark my skin means I've just never done it. But I would like some kind of minimalist abstract colour art that starts on my shoulder and trails down my arm. Maybe. I've never been able to find exactly what I'm imagining, which is also why I've never pursued it.

favorite color?

I think I'm in my blue stage in my life, looking at the majority of colours surrounding me, but I also like pops of red.

favorite type of music?

The music playlists I listen to most are 1) OSTs and similar style songs from all the qls I've watched over the past 3 years 2) the instrumental background music from all the qls I've watched and 3) Swedish pop (to keep the language fresh in my brain). I do like all kinds of music - just NOT drum and bass - anything can work for me in the right mood.

do you like puzzles?

Yes, although I don't often do them. I enjoy the 'escape room' type Exit games as well as sudoku, and for a few months several years ago I really got into hanjie puzzles.

any phobias?

I'm not sure if this is a phobia or not but I absolutely CANNOT deal with cotton wool. Just thinking about pulling it apart makes me want to crawl out of my skin and lay down in a bath of acid just to get away from it let alone actually TOUCHING it and pulling it apart 🤢🤮 The cotton wool pads are ok because they have smooth sides and I don't...pull 🤮 them 🤮 apart 🤮. Ok, I gotta stop talking about this now, I'm squirming in my seat.

favorite childhood sport?

I did gymnastics as a child, from about aged 8 to 13, but I don't know if that counts as a 'sport', although I did compete. I didn't really enjoy most ball sports as a kid.

do you talk to yourself?

ALL. THE. DAMN. TIME. I talk to myself in my head. I talk to myself out loud. Sometimes, if I'm talking to myself aloud about something important and then do something that means I can't continue (cleaning my teeth, drinking/eating etc) then for some reason I can't continue in my head. I have to wait until I'm finished to then talk out loud again. But I also talk to myself aloud when I'm out 😬 but I do it quietly and without moving my mouth too much so people don't notice. I was in a shop recently and a gentleman was talking to himself out loud (commenting on the offering of tea towels ikea had and wondering whether to buy any) - loud enough that I thought that he was actually talking to someone else but he wasn't - and I felt like I had a glimpse of my future if I wasn't careful 😂

what movies do you adore?

I don't watch a lot of movies nowadays - the last I saw was Barbie. But the one that has stayed with me as a favourite since I first saw it is Some Kind of Wonderful. And I love The Holiday as a Christmas movie (although I haven't watched it for ages). Oh and it's not a movie, so maybe doesn't count, but the BBC's adaptation of Pride and Prejudice has my whole heart.

coffee or tea?

I'm definitely a tea drinker (approx 3 cups of black Earl Grey plus one or two herbal teas every day) but sometimes I'll crave a coffee...but then I'll have decaf. I'll crave it because I think the milkiness of it (oat milk though) makes it feel like a comfort drink, and I like a small shot of gingerbread syrup in it too.

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

I remember things like 'lawyer', 'journalist', and 'doctor' were common aspirations when I was a kid which I also contemplated but when I decided I wanted to be a dancer at aged 13 that was it for me. My 'back-up' career plan was some kind of palaeontology or archaeology ("you get an -ology you're a scientist!" 😂) but I never needed to pursue that.

Onward tagging: I'm not sure by now who has done this or not, so I'll tag some people and if you have done it then tag me in your post so I can read it! @grapejuicegay @dimplesandfierceeyes @casualavocados @ranchthoughts @jourquet @lollygirlpops @airenyah @incandescentflower and @linosaur

Like @telomeke, I also get tagged now and then by others in various tag games but then get too busy with work to be able to do them. So if you've tagged me and I've not responded, please know that I really wanted to but I just didn't have the time and then probably forgot.

[auroravictorium]

snow on the beach (pt. 1) (k.b.)

Summary: kaz tries to freeze reader to death, but he's actually just trying to do something nice.

Pairing(s): kaz brekker & reader (semi-stablished relationship)

Word Count: ~2.0k

Warnings: mentions of prior stabbing, allusions to kaz's touch aversion, mentions of a near-death experience, reader thinking about punching kaz because he's hot, kaz trying his best

Genre: fluff w a touch of angst at the end

Author's Note: had to break this beast into a two-parter, otherwise it would end up being way too long. thank you all so much for the love on the midnights series <3 i'm so glad you guys are enjoying this as much as i am while writing it!! tag list has been added at the bottom, so feel free to let me know if you'd like to be added :D happy reading loves!

part two

grishaverse masterlist

There were exactly six inches of distance between you and Kaz's shoulder, a fact you were acutely aware of as you walked down the cramped sidewalk. Cold air gusted off the Fifth Harbor, chilling you through your coat, and you pulled the collar up to stop the wind from reaching its icy fingers down your neck. If you could, you'd burrow yourself into Kaz and leech off his body warmth, but you knew that wouldn't be subtle as you patrolled the harbor. He also wouldn't enjoy the contact, so you kept your hands firmly to yourself.

"I told you to bring a scarf," Kaz muttered just loud enough for you to hear. He limped along without slowing, but you knew he was watching you out of his periphery.

"And I told you that I hate the cold. Why didn't you bring Matthias?" Your teeth chattered, and you tugged your coat tighter around you. If anyone could bear the chilly weather brewing over Kerch, it would be the Fjerdan. But no, Kaz woke you up at dawn and dragged you along on his scan of the harbor. Meanwhile, everyone else was back at the Slat, sleeping or staying warm by the fire. If you were more money-minded, you would charge him interest for the time he was taking trying to freeze you to death. 

"Because Matthias hates me," Kaz answered. "And I find you more tolerable." He looked unbothered and unaffected by the cold, aside from a dusting of red across his stupidly handsome cheekbones. You thought about punching him for looking so attractive. It was unfair.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you just wanted to spend time with me." You glanced up at him, a smirk playing on your half-frozen lips. "But I must say, I'd enjoy this time spent together a bit more if I didn't feel like a walking ice block."

Anyone who knew Kaz only as the ruthless, greedy Dirtyhands wouldn't have noticed any change in his face. But you saw his lips twitch in an almost smile, and his eyes glittered with joy. He must've been in a great mood to risk letting his mask slip like that.

"You're impatient," he told you.

"You're cruel," you retorted, turning your eyes to the cloudy sky. 

The clouds were thick and dark, blocking most of the morning sunshine. Nasty rain was almost certain to happen, but with the frigid cold, a small hope blossomed in your chest that it might turn to snow. Rain was characteristic of Ketterdam, but snow? It didn't happen often enough for your taste. Ironic, considering your loathing of the cold, but there was something magical about the snow. It reminded you of when you were young and watched it fall through the cracked living room window of your childhood home.

Kaz didn't respond, but amusement radiated off of him. You dared to huddle closer to him for warmth, and you were pleased to discover he didn't seem all that inclined to move away. In fact, Kaz was completely unbothered by your closeness to him and your arm pressing against his. He waited for the terror to claim him as it usually did, but he was surprised and pleased to find that little came. He felt nothing more than a tad nauseated.

"Are we almost done? It's nearly breakfast time." If you didn't get next to a hearth soon, you would refuse liability for any acts of violence you committed. 

Kaz again didn't answer, and he remained silent for the next two minutes, even as you huffed and muttered under your breath. You halfheartedly considered pushing him into the road and seeing how well he could dodge a carriage.

After another minute of walking that felt like an hour on your numbing legs, you opened your mouth to ask what was next after the wintry patrol of the harbor. Kaz suddenly stopped walking, and you nearly ran into him. He either didn't notice or didn't care and gripped your elbow to tug you across the rough cobbled street and into an alleyway.

"Couldn't wait for the cold to get me?" you asked, taking in the grimy alley you'd been pulled into. You wouldn't blame Kaz for tiring of your pestering, but you hoped for a more scenic view if your demise was coming. Maybe a nice view of the harbor.

"I realized killing you myself would be more efficient," he answered. His lips quirked up in a smirk.

Kaz pulled you toward a doorway you hadn't initially noticed. Instinctively, you felt for the holster at your waist, but Kaz didn't seem concerned about safety. He was still uncharacteristically cheery, for him at least, and his shoulders were relaxed as he released you in front of the door and rapped his gloved knuckles against the wood three times.

"Has anyone ever told you how you have a way with words?"

You examined the door set into the brick wall: there was nothing special or flashy about it. It was a simple dark oak door leading into a building from the alleyway. You couldn't imagine Kaz making a house call, and walking through the front door on a heist wasn't his style. So why had he brought you here?

The door opened suddenly, and you nearly jumped in surprise. There stood a woman whose perfect tan skin and immaculately styled hair immediately told you that she was Grisha. You examined her more closely, searching for any imperfection, and concluded that she was a Corporalki. 

Her brown eyes flicked between the two of you suspiciously before she seemed to recognize the man at your side. She paled under his icy gaze. "Mister Brekker. I didn't- I must have missed your appointment," she said.

"No appointment, Amalia." He jerked his chin toward you. All hints of humor or amusement had disappeared from his voice. "She needs her tattoo. The crow and cup."

You looked up at him in surprise, your lips parting. After two years with the Dregs and almost a year in Kaz's closest circle, you were finally getting your tattoo? Most Dregs got it sooner, but yours had been put off. For a long time, you wondered if it was because you still needed to prove yourself as a valuable member of the Dregs. But here you were on this stranger's doorstep, and Kaz said this to Amalia as if it was a daily occurrence and not something you had been looking forward to for a long time.

You examined his face, looking for any indication of how he felt, but the expressive Kaz from your walk had disappeared and been replaced with the aloof Dirtyhands everyone feared. You nearly shivered at the sight; of course, you weren't afraid of Kaz anymore. But he so rarely wore that look around you that when he did, it reminded you of what he was capable of. He was not just the man who shared gentle touches of hands with you or tapped his cane against your boot when he wanted to remind you that he was there. He could be cold, calculating, and downright cruel when he needed to be.

Amalia nodded and poked her head out of the doorway to peer into the alley. "Of course. Come in." Her eyes flicked around, searching for anyone following before she stepped aside for the two of you.

Kaz led the way inside, ducking into the warm, incense-filled parlor. You trailed behind him, eyes on his neck as you tried to process the news that Kaz had decided not to tell you about. The door shut behind you, and you examined the dim, smoky entryway. One long, threadbare carpet along the creaky floor, an old staircase with a decaying railing, and a few obviously forged paintings on the peeling wallpapered walls.

"A moment alone, please," you murmured to Amalia as she passed. She moved into a room to your left and then shut the door to give the two of you privacy. Turning to Kaz, you raised your brows. "I'm getting my tattoo?"

Kaz turned to face you after removing his coat and throwing it over the rickety handrail. He leaned against the rotting wood and met your gaze. His eyes filled with warmth again as he looked at you; Dirtyhands had receded for now. "It's been two years," he said softly, so Amalia couldn't hear from the other room. His voice was unexpectedly tender, and you stepped closer to him. "It's overdue."

"You usually send new recruits to get theirs alone and see if they back out of it." You met his gaze. Your heart fluttered in your chest as one side of his mouth quirked upward. Every time he smiled, you were grateful you survived a dagger to the chest nearly five months ago and got the opportunity to finally see it.

"You're hardly a new recruit," he responded. Kaz's cheeks were pink, and you couldn't tell if it was from the heat of the parlor or whatever he was thinking. "And if I sent you alone, this wouldn't be much of a surprise."

"You wanted to surprise me?" you said softly. Your heart was going all mushy on you. Damn it. Pull it together. It's just a tattoo. But it was a tattoo that he came with you to get, even though he didn't have to and probably had a million other things to work on. 

Kaz scowled. "Don't be ridiculous." He had a reputation to uphold, and here you were, completely correct in accusing him of trying to surprise you. His heart flipped in his chest at the happiness on your face, but he maintained his frown. That happiness would be his ruin, but so be it. He hadn't spent three days by your bedside and walked through the blistering cold waiting for damn snowflakes to fall for nothing. He did it for you, for the smile that threatened to break down every barrier he'd put up around his heart and his emotions after Jordie died. 

The icy water of the harbor lapped at his ankles in warning. Stay close to shore, Kaz. 

"Kaz Brekker wanted to surprise me. I'm honored," you teased. You stepped closer and beamed up at him, unaware of how much further Kaz's thoughts went than the tattoo. The scowl on his face lightened, and he looked at you with an expression you didn't recognize on him at first. 

His eyes flicked down to your lips, and you realized what that look was.

Longing.

Kaz didn't move closer or further away, fighting against the water rising around him as your chests touched. You were so warm, so close, and he could see every beautiful shade of color in your eyes even in the dimness of the parlor. If he could paint, he would cover a million canvases with it to try and replicate it to be kept forever. He would make a miniature to keep in his jacket pocket, close to his heart.

He didn't realize that he'd leaned in until a wave of panic threatened to drown him, and he had to jerk away to get air. He turned away from you, and your heart sank in your chest. Not because he hadn't kissed you, but because it was clear he wanted to. It broke your heart to watch him battle himself and then be furious when he felt like he lost each time. You wished there was more you could do.

You brushed your fingers against his shoulder. It's okay, the gesture told him. His shoulders loosened again. He wasn't aware that he'd bunched them up.

"Let's go inside," you whispered. 

He nodded, and for once, Kaz Brekker did not meet your eyes. He thumped his cane against the creaky floorboards and then strode into the room Amalia was waiting for you in.

You took a deep breath, turned your eyes toward the sky and whatever may be there, and followed Kaz into the adjoining room to receive your tattoo.

[part two (coming soon)]

TAGLIST: @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r

[littleplantfreak]

~Mari's 100 Follower Event~

Hi! I made it to 100 followers which is quite the feat y'know. So although I don't normally take requests I figure it'd be refreshing to try it out! I'll just cut it off at 15 requests (if I even get that many lol) and I'll post to let everyone know when I've reached that number. Otherwise I'll just end it on Monday with however many I get.

Here's the do's, don'ts, and won'ts!

My blog is primarily Wind Breaker, so although it's silly for me to have to say, I'd like to be safe and specify that currently it's only for Wind Breaker characters

I can write for any character, but I don't excel in all of them and if it's one I'm not used to writing, it may take time (please be patient with me I'm so slow even with normal writing)

I can write SFW and NSFW and I'm pretty fine with most kinks (except for maybe scat, incest, or something extremely non-conish. Dubcon is new for me to write but I can try my best)

I don't really feel comfortable writing too much about self harm, miscarriage, other kinda sensitive topics like that, because I don't always have the ability or experience to properly handle them. If there's one you want to ask about though, by all means ask because i may not know if I can write it until you tell me what you're looking for.

I can do either headcanons or just plain writing a scenario/scenes/fic/drabble. If you don't have a preference I'll just pick whichever seems like it'll work for that specific prompt.

If you can't think of anything to request, you could always ask for a sequel to something I've already written or with characters i haven't done that prompt for before. Or you can get on my ass to finish something I've talked about writing but have been procrastinating >_>

I'm always up for AUs.

You could also just bring up something about a character and I'll yap about them if that's want you want. If you didn't already know from following me, I never shut up.

Oh! If you're asking for headcanons please limit the characters to 5 maximum and if it's a longer writing piece maybe 3 max. Otherwise it'll take me too long to go through everyone else's requests :(

I'll have a special tag I keep this event stuff in, and it'll be linked in the masterlist as well.

If there are similar requests, I might pair them up

Sorry I wrote so much! And thank you guys for being so sweet and awesome all the time. You really make it tons of fun to write and chat here, so even if you don't have a request, my DMs and inbox are always open!

[ouroboros-hideout]

Night City memories.

@barghestapologist came up with this cool little idea and tagged me for it. Thank you again! Really love it and went around town with my blorbo girl. And decided to write something to every pic in her point of view. Brace yourselves - it's long, like always.

Rules: Snap some shots! Places (or people) near and dear to your ocs across NC! Filters and photo frames are optional ofc, it’s all up to you!

And since it's a tag game I´d like to give other's the opportunity as well who might not have seen it yet, but no pressure as always and everyone can try if they want!

@blackrevell @sofia-in-nc @cybervesna @chevvy-yates @kdval

To get the obvious out of the way: Of course I like the workshop. Kurt has invested a lot of time, money and energy to build a modern workspace with plenty of facilities for decent weapon production. I'd always prefer my own place in Russia, that's not up for debate and if his people think they know more than me and boss me around, I'd be happy to throw a few punches, but on the whole, working here is a chance to get something really big off the ground and I enjoy being a part of it.

When I need some fresh air, as fresh as it can get in Dogtown, I like to spend a few minutes in the stands of the stadium, the less busy part of the black market. My favorite thing is watching Kurt's little tin soldiers trying to salvage anything of value from the aerozep their lord and master has shot out of the sky - he’s just pure chaos.

To put it bluntly: I hate his damn parties. I hate everyone he invites, I hate that he always persuades me to come along. But the first time I saw the “finished” casino I was impressed. It’s his little playground, I don’t judge him for it, if this is his way of conducting business. After all, it seems to work. And of course you have to offer the rich and famous something to attract them to Dogtown in the first place. From that point of view, he's done a good job here. I like to come around if there’s no one else there. I am a sucker for impressive views and I doubt you would get anything better than up here. And the bar is a big bonus.

The small balcony on the left is the best place in my opinion. I've often seen Kurt standing there too, smoking a cigarette and looking down on the city. Even though I know he's actually looking somewhere else. So far, I've always turned round and let him have his moment - I think he really needs that. And maybe some more time before he will open up to me about it.

The wannabe military camp at the entrance to the Sapphire is a good place to familiarise yourself with Kurt's people. Many of them, and this surprised me, actually have brains, and it's nice to chat to them and listen to some of their stories, throw a few punches in the little boxing ring they've set up (or take a few, yes, I have to admit) or finish off the evening with a beer at the dingy little bar. One evening, a newbie came up to me, looked at me with big dreamy eyes and asked me in a trembling voice what it was like to work so closely with THE Kurt Hansen. I really had to pull myself together not to lose my composure. His name was Pablo or something like that, I think. I still have to laugh at the fact that this buffoon has fans like he's a rock star or something.

The Longshore Stacks always gave me the impression that it was the most civilized place in Dogtown, if there is any. Sure, it's pretty much impossible not to bump into some junkie or otherwise mentally deranged person when walking the streets, but this is where I still feel like it's the most enjoyable place to be. A small community of people trying to live their lives in this surreal place. The ‘Tree of the Lost’ as the locals call it really moved me when I saw it for the first time. Of course, I have no idea who the people here or what their fates are. I just pick up conversations in passing whenever I go there. And I don't feel connected enough to the people there to ask serious questions. It's not my business, to put it bluntly. But I think it's a beautiful and at the same time heartbreaking idea. The bartender at ‘The Moth’ is pretty cool. I've had a few interesting conversations with her already.

There's this completely run down cinema in the center of Dogtown. Like everything else, I assumed that it must have been taken over by some gang or homeless people, so I never really paid much attention to it. Kurt asked me to meet him there one evening after work. As it turned out, the cinema was unoccupied. And the inside of it was actually still in good condition. Not gonna lie, it really could have been opened. But the clientele in this junkyard would probably have completely looted the place within a day or razed it to the ground if you didn't protect it with a few Barghest puppies. And unfortunately ‘pure entertainment’ isn't important enough for that, I don't blame Kurt for that opinion. But I'd like to punch him every time he has such exaggeratedly cheesy date ideas. Or rather, I'd like to slap myself because I think it's *sigh* cute how much effort he puts in. He actually invited me to the stupid cinema to watch a Tarantino with him, which he had specially organized. Reservoir Dogs from 1992. Of course he had no idea what it was about and just went for it because it had the word ‘Dog’ in it. 

Before I head into the workshop or afterwards I like to drive around in the badlands. To get a clear mind for the tasks ahead or to deflate myself from a long tiring day. In any case, at a time when the heat in this shitty state is halfway bearable. There’s a really nice view not far out off the city on Dogtown I like to head from time to time. I showed it Kurt already too, because that donkey can’t set a foot outside his little empire without me kickin’ his ass to do so.

I encountered a family of Nomads one day while exploring those dry dusty desserts around Night City. They are part of the Aldecaldos I at least heard of before. They were quite suspicious when I first got there. But after a quick exchange of words and telling them I used to ride with a clan too, they got quite curious and invited me for a stay. The friendliness they approached me with after just a short time really warmed my heart and brought back some fond memories. And we had so much to talk about. I really hope they will stay for a little longer in the city so I can head out again to meet with them.

On my way around the badlands, I one day came across this lake. I need to ask Kurt about it, because I really doubt it’s natural and probably some sort of Corpo-disaster. But it’s a really peaceful and silent place, though I’d never set foot into the water. Probably will get a shitton of diseases within seconds. There’s also a small cabin not far off the road. So it seems like someone else is enjoying the views and calmness of this place as well from time to time.

Kurt: You forgot about one place you like in Dogtown. 

Aon: Enlighten me. 

Kurt: Right by my side.

Aon: *sigh* Should have seen that coming. 

Aon: But you’re right. 

Kurt: Told ya’. 

[johnslittlespoon]

okay a bit (a lot, tldr in tags) of rambling to gather my thoughts, but for the dog coded bucky fic <3 enjoyers i have tentatively decided:

i will finish chapter two so ik it's # serious lol, plan out the rest of the chapters so i make sure i don't need to change anything in the first two (bc i'm still not even sure how many chapters it'll be), and then, i think i will force myself to stop being a Coward and post ch1 🫠

but i DO want to warn you that i am a slow writer, i've said this before ik, but i haven't written a chaptered fic in about five years so i'm really not sure how my pacing will be, so i feel like it's fair to lyk in advance!

my ideal aim would be to get a chapter out once a week, but i'm gonna be so real, a more realistic goal is once every two–ish weeks because me + freshly–medicated adhd + writing is not conducive to productivity lmaoo :')) tbh i'd be happy if i even got one done a month but i'm hoping to be faster than that, i just also don't want to rush bc this fic is so close to my heart already, i don't want to put smth out where i feel like i let myself/readers down. <3

anyway. that's my yapping for the afternoon, very excited bc i made a lovely fellow fruit loop friend recently while in queue for a concert and we both accidentally found out the other wrote fanfic LOL u get close real quick when ur holding out for barricade all day 😭

but we have a writing day planned tmrw!! bc body doubling is a lifesaver. so i'm rly hopeful i'll get ch2/all my plotting done tmrw and if all goes well, ch1 can be posted this week <33 half of the reason for posting this is to hold myself accountable too bc i'll feel more pressure to work away at it so i don't have to eat my words lmfaoo

to the angels who have been following the (very slow) formation of this fic, genuinely thank u sm for being so patient with me and also for always keeping my spirits and motivation up chatting to me ab it, i don't think i would've ever actually ended up writing it otherwise so!! i am v thankful <33 it's 'just fic' but it's also a return to something i adore but haven't had the inspo or energy for in years so i'm very :'))

[writernopal]

✍Writer Interview✍

Thanks to @teamdilf for tagging me here!

When did you start writing?

Technically, when I was like 15/16. I was writing a little bit back then but I don't remember what I was writing, which sucks. I really wish I remembered! After that I picked writing back up in summer of 2019.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

Yep! I think its kind of limiting to only read the genre you write. There's always stuff you can take from other places and work it into your writing. It can produce some surprising results! That said, my favorites to read are non-fiction and classic works of fiction.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

No and no. There are plenty of authors I admire but I've got a voice of my own and I don't particularly think we need two of anybody.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

So I have two main things I use to write: a desktop computer and a laptop. My desktop is on a desk (surprise, surprise lol) in the corner of a room with two little windows above it. I recently upgraded the setup to have one ultrawide monitor instead of two smaller side-by-side ones to help me focus when I write because I noticed when I was writing on my laptop I'd get more done because I only had one screen. I also have a mechanical keyboard with blank keys for cool points lol. On the wall beside my desk are a bunch of posters and things, some for inspiration, others just because I like them. Of course I've got some pirate/ship themed art there too! With my laptop I kind of take that anywhere, so with that I write on the couch, the dining room, cafes, libraries etc but never in my bed because then I won't sleep. I've been trying to have better sleep hygiene and phone habits in general which is only worth mentioning here because I used to write on my phone but I don't anymore.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Music, but like really listening to it. As in, closing my eyes, not doing anything, and being present as its playing. I'm very in tune with how my body experiences feelings/emotions so doing that will usually make me feel something and from there its just letting my mind wander.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

Forbidden/taboo things. It can be anything from interpersonal relationships, oppressive systems, internalized responses to stimuli, etc. Also drawing connections between the world and our environment and the stages of our lives or even things that happening. To me, those things are all connected. And no, they don't surprise me one bit.

What is your reason for writing?

To make sense of the world around me. And to live lives I won't have time for in my short one.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

Anytime someone notices a theme or callback in my work. Which I think has maybe happened once so I do my best not to rely on engagement to motivate me otherwise I think I'd go insane.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

Oh ideally I don't want my readers thinking about me at all lol. I want them thinking about the story and what it makes them feel.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Prose. Especially of the visceral or imagery-heavy variety.

How do you feel about your own writing?

I think its quite strong but I think I've reached the limit of what I can do on my own. I really want to start honing my craft and improving it so I'll probably be taking some courses and/or joining a writing critique group soon.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

I guess I'll say mostly for me. There is 'an audience' in my head but whether those are people who would actually read my stuff or someone I made up, I can't say lol. Also I have to have fun writing something otherwise I won't want to do it so its hard to say I'd want to write for someone else unless they had requested something specific from me.

Tagging (gently): @tabswrites @void-botanist @paintedbutton @sarahlizziewrites @oh-no-another-idea @kanobarlowe and anyone else who wants to play!

[packet-of-staples]

Hey hey hey! I've said this on twitter but I'll explain my rules regarding how people can use my Art here. I can go into a little more detail.

Alright so this is mainly in regards to like comic dubs and profile pictures and the like so here we go.

What you can do!! And I also encourage :]:

- Make comic dubs of my works! So long as you clearly credit and link me that's absolutely fine!! Also make sure to tag me in some way so I can watch it too!!! I would love to see them.

- Use my Artwork as your profile picture! Seeing my Art in people's pfps literally makes me squeal and kick my legs with joy. As long as you credit me in your bio you are free to do so! (I suppose this also extends to banners? Go ahead! Same rules apply)

- Now this is the only time I'll say this, and this is the only context I'll allow it. You may edit my work ONLY if it is to be used for a profile picture. You can add hearts or flags or text to my work ONLY if you use it as your pfp, that's it. Otherwise just the pfp rules apply.

- Oh!! I thought of something else! If you want to use my art in edits or.. are they called fancams now? Whatever, you can! So long as you credit me in someway in the video itself.

- Oh yes! If you want to draw my designs for anything go right ahead! This could be my Outertale Mew Mew, DR Asriel, Knight Papyrus etc. I would love to see your silly drawings! Make sure to tag me so I can see :]!!

Alright so now onto the things I dont want done with my art:

- Reposting it to other social media sites. You know those instagram accounts that mass repost artwork? Yeah, I hate those and I dont want my work reposted. I seriously believe those accounts do not help artists and if I see my Art reposted I will ask you to take it down.

- Editing my work. With the exclusion of the pfp rule or if I have explicitly said it can be edited, do not edit my work in any way. Especially if it's being changed to be nsfw or offensive in anyway. Idk if people do this but I thought I'd cover my bases. Dont do this.

- I think this should go without saying, and I doubt there are any actual techbros on here but again, covering my bases. Do not use my work for NFTs or AI Art. Just don't do it. Nuff said.

Alright I think that's it. Please consider these boundaries if you're going to use my work 🙏. Thank you and I give you all a little kiss.

[raayllum]

Cube Hostage Exchange Theory: Ezran Edition

Cause I've been feeling this one and figured I may as well toss in the newest two cents.

This is something I've talked about before (X, X) but much more briefly, and with the theory still on the table for S6, I figured I'd cover more of my bases.

The usual caveats / disclaimers to get out of the way:

Cube Hostage Exchange Theory (CHET) is a TDP theory dating back from September 2020 (shortly after Through the Moon released) speculating that Rayla would be taken hostage in exchange for Callum freeing Aaravos by handing over the Key of Aaravos. It was based on ideas of 1) the key being important to Aaravos' plans, 2) the irony of Callum literally freeing Rayla while chaining himself further to Aaravos' will, and 3) that Callum would be a pawn in Aaravos' plans (deduced well before S4) due to this thematic ties to freedom.

The biggest assumption the theory made/makes is that the Key of Aaravos is something that Aaravos is actively seeking/wanting, or something he needs; this aspect of the theory is still (technically) pure speculation.

CHET may not happen in S6 due to the fact it beat for beat already basically happened in 5x08, just with Finnegrin swapping in for Aaravos as an instigator. This is partially due to the fact that the irony regarding chains and freedom (Rayla being freed by Callum chaining himself) also came to pass alongside the captive/loved one's life being threatened and Callum subsequently being willing to help said antagonist.

That being said, I still fully think a Variant will happen, if you will, whether that's due to Callum getting in over his head with the coins, or something more directly threatening Rayla.

This theory resides on the (canon) interpretation of Callum being willing to do anything to protect his two most important loved ones (Ezran, Rayla) even if that means helping Aaravos and/or putting the world in danger. This post itself is not going to debate or explain this interpretation, but if you are interested in learning more about it, I'd recommend this meta and this tag.

I still think Callum making a choice that risks subsequent possession / world ending behaviour is more likely to be for Rayla. This is for a few reasons: 1) they still have an ongoing relationship rift/conflict to heal, and this could be a way to do it; 2) we know thanks to 6x01 that Callum and Rayla are heading to the Starscraper alone with Ezran being back in Katolis, so there is just more opportunity; 3) more of the narrative legwork has been done with Rayla specifically, particularly in regards to the possession plotline in particular; 4) Ezran has never represented destruction to or for Callum, but Rayla has more overtly negative associations which would fit; 5) Rayla has had more scenes and lines with said Cube / Key of Aaravos throughout the 4 seasons its been displayed (1x04 multiple times, 1x05, 2x07, 3x08, 4x02, 4x03, 4x07) than Ezran has (noticeably only one in 4x07).

All that being said, let's talk about the way the narrative might work / the evidence we have at present for CHET happening, but Callum dooming the world for his brother instead. Otherwise known as CHET: EE (Ezran edition).

The Necessary Narrative Legwork

As stated, CHET: Ezran Edition would only, to me, have a strong enough narrative purpose to happen IF it served as the basis or conclusion for a reconciliation arc between Callum and Rayla (currently ongoing) or between Callum and Ezran. While the brothers are not currently fighting, that doesn't mean they won't in the future.

Season six might have to squeeze it — it would have to be in the latter half of the season, which might be too delayed for Aaravos' proper release, but who knows? — but it definitely seems like the brothers are hurtling towards some sort of conflict.

However, I think the way the conflict is framed / what it ends up being centred on. For example, if the brothers just fight over whether or not to free Runaan (as there are indications that they might), I don't think that by itself leads to a resolution like CHET: EE. But if the brothers fight over Runaan, and it makes Ezran feel like his brother isn't choosing him, and they part on bad terms... Now we're talking.

Now, S6 could have room for a broyals conflict. They could fit over Runaan, as noted, or even other issues in their relationship. This would lay the groundwork for something like a CHET: EE based reconciliation happening, provided there was conflict to resolve first.

I'd also like more scenes / lines concerning Ezran with the cube. Thus far, Ezran has been there in 3/4 seasons where we've seen the cube (S5 is the only season with zero appearances outside the 5x08 intro), but he's only commented on it in 4x07 with "Callum, put away your cube!" when it's glowing because the moon opal on the Bridge of Darkness.

Episodes such as 1x05 particularly feels like a missed opportunity, perhaps, if this was the direction they were going to take, given that Ezran easily could've stepped in during Callum and Rayla's miniature disagreement over it (the "it's a glow toy" + "this doesn't end well for you" foreshadowing is there in addition to Callum looking at the Star rune) to make a comment about it still being worthwhile / perhaps a fun toy. But if Ezran's hide and seek game motif (more evident when they were searching for the hidden prison) comes into play and is tethered further to the cube's game motif, that's alright by me.

So yeah, two key points I would need to happen could happen, largely:

The brothers having some kind of serious conflict wherein Callum prioritizing Ezran in this way could help reconcile it

Ezran having more screen time with / regarding the Cube and Aaravos in some manner

That's not to say there's no legwork already put in, though, for an EE, which is part of the reason why I'm making this post. So let's talk about the two biggest points in this edition's favour:

The Orphan Queen Connection

Despite not receiving the Key himself (which could be a parallel to the Sunfire siblings regarding Kim'Dael's collar), the EE has a significant point in its favour due to Ezran's associations with the Orphan Queen. He's been directly compared to her both in appearance and in personality, as he shares her ability to Truth Tell in the face of lies, narratively speaking:

I should have seen it before. Ha! Long ago, it was a human who saw through the Fallen Star’s schemes and helped Xadia put an end to them. You look so much like her.

I've written before about the parallels there seems to be when it comes to the Jailer and Callum, two clever human mages, and the Orphan Queen Ezran, two royals of a blood line tethered in some way to truth telling and Aaravos. This parallel connection of the Jailer and the Orphan Queen being involved in imprisoning Aaravos, and Callum and Ezran witnessing / failing to stop if not also being involved in his release would be an ironic layer.

There would be another additional layer if the Orphan Queen's use of the cube was what led to him being sealed away, and now the Key is being used to spare her descendant, his brother's, life three hundred years later.

Thus far we don't know much else about the Orphan Queen besides this, so I could see Ezran's role with the Key being to partially discover what it is or what it might do, and for Callum to figure out further how it works and how to use it, but we'll have to see. I think this piece of evidence would be stronger if both brothers had been very involved and interested with the Key thus far - a true piece of dual heritage for both of them - but given that it's been so much more in Callum's corner and much less in Ezran's, I think this aspect is probably what would need to be developed the most in S6 to work out.

That said, the strongest piece of evidence we have for an EE of CHET is namely the place where we first learn the cube is called the Key of Aaravos at all, which is in...

Harrow's Letter

Harrow's letter exists in story for a few reasons:

To resolve Harrow and Callum's arc with each other, particularly to affirm to Callum that he belonged within his family / as Harrow's son. This is folded into Harrow discussing his sons' bond and what he wants for both of them in addition to point 3 and 4

To largely tie up Callum's grief regarding Harrow, as while we still see bits and pieces of it (you can argue 2x08 and 4x03 touch on it), 2x06 is the last time Callum's specific grief about Harrow is discussed (at least for now)

To complement Viren's narrative of what happened with Harrow's own take on the same events, particularly to push forward and the name the Narrative of Love vs Narrative of Strength dichotomy (which S4 and S5 have spent a lot of time deconstructing further)

To explicitly introduce the concept of the Chains of History and Harrow's own desire for freedom, which is alluded to in early S1 but not fully developed, and therefore pave the way for him to show up in Callum's 2x08 dreams

To give us the info about the Key of Aaravos early enough we could sit with it, and also let the foreboding build

I do think the placement of the information about the Key is interesting, because the way it's presented perhaps fulfil more of our traditional expectations in the fantasy genre. Of course the protagonist happens to stumble across a neat, funky family heirloom with a tease for a cool power-up to come. It is, after all, the first time we hear the name Aaravos.

However, they very quickly (aka like 1.2 episodes later) give us the name of Aaravos, and we immediately know it's nothing good. The more negative associations with the cube are also added to in 2x08 with the dream imagery, which makes a lot more sense now that we know just how deep the ties between Aaravos and dark magic really go.

With this in mind, the most telling lines from the letter for an EE CHET is, I believe, this from Harrow:

But as a father, I have a selfish wish. For you and Ezran to be... free.

Now the letter itself talks about Freedom almost as much as it talks about Love, and indeed, love — specifically a Narrative of Love — is posited as something that can and will free you, in contrast to the Narrative of Strength bound by the chains of history. We also know Startouch stuff is associated with wishes, so that's another point. And Harrow's last words to Callum were "Take care of my brother." From a familial standpoint, there's more than enough permission / merit here to go ahead.

The letter introduces the Key and talks about the brothers. It talks about chains and love and freedom. And these are all things that would be very much literally present in in a Cube Hostage Exchange in which Ezran is the hostage or person the key is being handed over to save.

And while I think it could be a possibility on the table, because Callum absolutely would do this for his brother... I still think if we're gonna get a scenario like this, it's going to be Rayla, or it's going to be no one. And here's why.

The Other Side

You may have noticed throughout this that this edition of the theory depends on even more could haves than traditional CHET already does, and hasn't really talked about Ezran's personality or interplay with sacrifice as a theme. This is because that, without an external conflict pushing things forward, this display of devotion doesn't really affect Ezran much. He knows his brother loves him and has never doubted this; Ezran is very measured about sacrificing himself for what he believes in, but is also always willing to accept help and other people's aid. Ezran is sacrificial, largely adjacent to his crown and his childhood, but his arc itself is centred around concepts of power, duty, and justice over a core theme of sacrifice or even freedom.

Subsequently, Ezran likewise has not been associated heavily with chains, nor is Callum someone who has broken Ezran's cycles or chains, literally or metaphorically. Although Ezran is undeniably tethered to freedom because "a child is freer than a king" and him being briefly (meaningfully) in prison, freeing Ezran has never been a main plot concern Callum or Rayla has had to contend with. The closest they come are the boys working together to free Rayla in 1x04 with Bait, Callum and Rayla working together to get Ez out from the icy water in 1x06, and Soren freeing Ezran from prison (and getting him to his council) in 3x05... and that's about it. Nor is Ezran a big part of Callum's mage arc; they normally discuss things other than magic, Callum rarely uses magic to protect his brother (although S5 definitely had an uptick), and Ezran is pretty separated from notions of magic within Xadia outside of his ability to talk to animals. (It's kind of like how while Callum and Zym have a strong bond, Ezran has a more emphasized one and largely carries the human side of human-dragon reconciliation alongside Soren, whereas their siblings are more elf and magic focused.)

This might shift if/when freeing Harrow from a bird is a possibility, and that's not to say it couldn't be Ezran just on this basis — but that TDP usually prefers to include things at a lower stakes level or even as a joke, and then ramp it up continually until it reaches a breaking point. We can see this even in 6x01 with a scene of Soren leading a blind folded Opeli for comedic effect, only for blindfolds to clearly be important later on in S6 with Callum and the Celestial elves. Similarly, Callum freeing Rayla both literally and metaphorically was set up consistently and periodically throughout the first 4 seasons, to the degree I could predict some of the specifics in 5x08 even years ahead. Then, the show reaffirms this pattern as well as early on in S5 (5x01 in particular), so when it came to a head in 5x08, it felt natural and earned from a thematic standpoint.

Even if S6 went in hard with the Broyals having a fight in the back half, they would still have to drench Ezran in freedom associations to me to effectively get to where I feel like a CHET: EE would totally work. That's not to say there couldn't be over avenues there I'm not seeing now, or a thread I've missed that's been steadily building all along that S6 then makes evident, but this is largely where I've arrived with everything we currently know.

Conclusion

TLDR; Cube Hostage Exchange: Ezran Edition has merit largely due to the Orphan Queen parallel and Harrow's letter, but does not seem to have enough plot buildup at this time to make me lean in that direction. Instead, I still learn towards if there is going to be this scenario or a variant, it will either be for Rayla ( / her parents adjacently) or not at all.

[alldevilsarehere90]

Walking Dead Prompt List:

"Fine, go, see if I care."

"You can't be serious, that's suicide!"

"It ain't like that, we're just friends."

"You wouldn't second-look me before the world went to shit, so don't pretend otherwise."

"It don't matter, she don't see me like that."

"Don't you dare walk away from me right now, I promise you, if you do, I will not be here when you get back."

"Please, just stay with me until I fall asleep. I–I don't wanna be alone right now."

"Can you ever just say what's on your mind?"

"It's like trying to draw blood out of a stone, why do you find it so hard to talk to me?"

"What exactly have I done to make you hate me so bad?" "I don't hate you."

"Are you kidding me right now? You're jealous, aren't you?"

"I have to tell you something, so would you just shut up and listen!"

"Are you always this infuriating?"

"Would you just kiss me already?"

"I have sumthin I wanna ask ya, if you'd stop talkin long enough for me to say it."

"I feel like I'm suffocating here but it's not you, it's me, and this place."

"How many people have you killed?"  "I'm afraid, I'm going to need you to buy me dinner before I divulge that kind of information."

"I'm pregnant ok, that's why I don't want to go on runs and that's why I've been avoiding you."

"I'll kiss that smile right off your face, just say when."

"I'm not afraid anymore, to admit how I feel about you."

"Why are you so against marriage?"  "I don't believe in it."

"Wherever you are, I belong."

"I can't let nothing happen to you, you gotta stay safe, promise me."

"That bitch better back off and stop smirking at me before I carve a permanent smile on that face."

"I wouldn't mind waking up next to you every day."

"Look at me. I ain't letting nuthin happen to ya, ok?" 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I put you through that. I wasn't thinking about the people I left behind, I was only thinking about myself."

"Nowadays, life's too short not to tell someone something. Not to tell someone how much they mean to you. And you, (name), mean everything to me."

"Mummy, will you marry my daddy?"

"We're here at the end of the fucking world and all I can think about is, I really wish I'd kissed you."

Just tell me which prompt/ prompts (up to two), if you would like Angst, Fluff or Smut (you can choose as many as you like) and which character. I will NOT write character x character, only character x reader.

I will write for:

Daryl, Rick, Negan, Glenn, Michonne, Maggie, i will consider writing for others just ask, but it will be written from a female reader perspective for whichever character (inc. any female characters)

I will be posting a couple of drabbles I'm working on but feel free to send a request. Any one who wishes to use any of the prompts feel free to do so, just please tag me so I can read your work. THANK YOU!

[mrsjavierp]

Where You Belong?

Chapter 7 - Torture

Javier Peña x latin!f!reader

Summary: Running away from life as you always knew to start a new position as Head Chief on a DEA Office, far away, on Colombia. There, you'll face violence, as you never thought you could. There, you'll meet Javier Peña, your stubborn agent...

Warnings (to the whole fic): +18!, angst, smut, cheating, last relationships, drug dealing - Narcos Universe (not so accurate), bad spanish, english is my second language, use of Y/N and Y/LN. No physical description of the reader, only your clothes (sometimes). The POVs are shifting between reader (first person and Narrator - 3rd person)

(If I forgot anything, tell me, pls!)

Word Count: 2,6k

A/N: I'd love to know about you're thinking about it so far! Your opinion is really important! Tks <3 Btw, I'm tagging @pedrostories! Babe, let's show'em why we're so much in love for that man!

Obs: Oops, I did a "past x present situation" again, so, anytime you see something written like this, is past. If not, it's just Javi's memory about the night he won't (and can't) forget... And neither can you, reader <3 Let's be honest, how would we forget a night like that?

***

Narrator's POV:

Javier went to see how Steve was doing, after Connie left.

The apartment was a mess, with empty bottles all over.

If ever Steve were sober, it was before his girls went back to Miami.

He was so depressed... Made Javier think about his family as well, but in a different way: if it was him and Lorraine, would he try to do some or anything?

Steve sniffed and cleared his throat, handing Javier a beer, bringing him back from his thoughts.

"Have you, uh... Had anything to eat in the last 24 hours?" - he asked.

"About Y/LN..." - Steve ignored Javier. - "Do you think she's gonna send me back? Did she say anything?"

"To be honest, I think if she was going to send you back, she'd have done it already. We know she doesn't put up any shit."

Steve sputted.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Do you think I am out?"

"I don't know." - Javier answered.

"Well, I ain't ready to go home yet, Javi. I'll tell ya that." - Steve threw the top from his bottle away. - "Damn it! She's fucking..."

Javier got up, he needed to do some or anything.

"Take a shower. Sober up." - he suggested to the friend. - "I'll get back to you."

Steve sighted, sitting back down.

**

"Thanks for talking to Y/LN again, man." - Steve thanked, while Javier was driving to their new office. - "I mean that... You saved my ass."

"One more fuck-up, Murphy..."

"Oh, I know." - he responded.

"Is it gonna happen again?" - Javi asked, worried.

"I don't know. I really don't." - Murphy seemed lost in thoughts.

"Let's hope for the sake of our careers that is the first and the last one."

Shortly after they arrive, you show up by helicopter, wearing a black tight suit, heels and sunglasses. Javier was already shivering.

Making an effort to change his focus, he said to Steve:

"Get ready to get your balls snippet." - and they both smirked.

*

Steve and you sat down at your office, his expression was awful: sad, bitter, hangover.

“So Connie left… You’re upset, knocked a few back to numb the pain and then decided to take it out on some Wall Street pendejo”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“Isolated incident?”

“Yeah.”

“You still don’t trust me? That’s fine. But if I’m gonna have your back, I need to know that I can trust you. Otherwise, I have no problem sending you back to Connie in Miami… Am I making myself clear or do you need a drawing?”

“Loud and clear, Jefe.” - He sighed. 

“Dismissed, Murphy. Go to work.”

He got up and left your office.

He was just a ghost… A resemblance to what he was, when Connie was here. God, you felt sorry for him.

*

Hours later, you sat down at the bar, close to your office, after all those hours, alone.

You just wanted peace.

So much happened and you also got quite some happening.

Steve and his bullshit, Escobar on the run, Crosby up on your ass...

"A Dry Martini, por favor. Seco." (A Dry Martini, please. Extra dry.) - you order.

"¿Señorita, dry martini? ¿Seco? ¿Estás enferma?" (Miss, dry martini? Extra dry? Are you sick?)

"No, amigo... Soló necesito olvidar algunas cosas." (No, my friend… Just need to forget a few things.)

He knew your drink was a neat scotch, he never saw you drinking any other thing.

You hated how the gin burned while going down your throat. You could almost remember when Javier fucked your throat at the same time you used your vibrator because he wanted to see how you've done by yourself... He convinced you to pick it up at your place because he needed to ruin you, as you did to him...

"Díos mio... I don't wanna remember anymore, please, make it stop..." - you whispered like a secret prayer, closing your eyes.

*

About 2 hours later, taking off his tie, Javier walked into the same bar.

He sighed, so frustrated, so hurt, so pissed off.

Lorraine just had put the cherry on top: she wanted to leave Laredo to Dallas or Austin, because... He didn't even understand why. She asked for more money, his visit for a few days... The only good thing on that call was his baby boy, Lucas, who your so called wife insisted on calling Luke. Sometimes, he felt a little prejudice from her against his latin origin.

And she demanded again! Javier was trying to delay it, but she was coming on strong at him.

The worst part is… He didn’t care about Lorraine. Not that he ever did in the first place, but… 

In reality, he was just sad... 

Sad that he spent an intimate long night fucking you and... Nothing.

You just disappeared. Left him hanging.

Javier didn't even get to listen to you masturbating anymore.

He asked for a scotch, neat.

Just like he purred to you that night…

Sometime that night, you sat down on the armchair by his bedroom window, lit up your cigar, while he served you a glass of whiskey. You wore nothing but your red panties...

Javier kneeled down, again, for you.

There you were, smelling like your cigars, whiskey, sex... And Javier.

His hands worshiped your figure, opening you for him, again.

"Javier, I'm a little occupied..." - you said to him, almost purring.

"I don't care. I need to touch you. Go ahead with whatever you drink or smoke. It's sexy as fuck."

He loved that your scent was just like his. Make him feel like you belong to him, only him. 

“When I'm done with you, you're gonna smell just like me… Like my come, my perfume, my spit, my sweat… You ruined me, cariño. I'm just returning the favor.”

“Javi…”

“You know where you belong, don't you?” - his index and middle fingers entered you again. You moaned. - “You belong with me, cariño. I'm not letting you go.”

“Oh fuck…” - you moan. - “You also smell just like me, Javi…” - his eyes widened, surprised. - “You also smell just like my french perfume, my spit on your dick, my sweat on your skin… My come all over you…” 

You were so distracted you didn't even notice when he walked in and sat across from you.

When he spotted you, Javier went up to you.

"Martini, Y/N? Gotta say, did not see this coming."

"Bite me, Peña." - you responded through your teeth.

"I wish I could, cariño, but you won't let me get near you. I miss you. Don't tell me that you don't remember or you didn't like it." - his mouth came closer to your ear and murmured: - "You came so many times in my mouth that shirt I wore still smells like your cum, even after I washed 3 times already... Wanna know where it is?"

You sighted slowly, catching your breath, eyes closed.

"My bed, cariño. Right where you left your red panties, where you belong. Where you should be." - he continued to whisper in your ear.

"Peña..."

"No, not Peña. Call me Javi, babyboy, obedient soldier, anything but as if we were working… We both know that’s not under your obligations."

You looked at him, in pain.

"I-I-I can't. We gotta be a part, Peña."

He hit the bar with his fist.

"Bullshit! You may be an award winning actress, but you can't pretend any of that. I remember it all too well... I remember you telling me that was a fucking dream and you didn't wanna wake up! I remember you melting under my touch..."

You laughed.

"Peña, I quit smoking and drinking whiskey because of you."

"Why?"

"Because it tastes just like you." - aside from the scotch, he smoked cigarettes, not cigars. Your eyes are almost in tears.

He looked at you with those puppy brown eyes.

"Cariño... You don't have to..."

"Yes, Peña. I do... You don't get it, do you?"

"Actually, no, I don't. Enlighten me, then." - Javier responded, rude. He couldn't bear to be hurt one more time. He wanted to be yours and you to be his, only his.

"It was a mistake, Peña. You're overthinking what happened... I... We..." - you didn't know how to say or justify. You were lying and you were such a lousy liar... Javier could see right through you.

"Don't! Don't you dare to continue to say anything like that!" - it was his time to respond through his teeth. - "You don't get to do that! I won't accept these lies! You're not fooling me nor anyone… Days ago you were moaning and coming all over me... Now you want to take it back? News flash, you can't! You can’t change the past, you can’t change the fact that we fucked worse than rabbits, cariño. I told ya, I’m greedy as fuck." - his voice went from pissed to almost cooing at you.

You were feeling awful. Guilty. You shouldn't want Javier so badly, but you wanted.

"Peña, I'm your boss. We've got a job to do. I can't get involved with you, it was a mistake!"

Javier's heart was pounding. You couldn't do that to him.

You tried to get up, but your liquor betrayed you, almost throwing you on the ground, but Javi picked you up before you got hurt.

"Vamos, cariño. I'll take you home, vecina." - he said.

You only cuddled with him, holding up all you could.

*

Javier helped you get inside, paying attention to what you needed: You needed to eat, to take a shower and lay down, unfortunately, too drunk to do it alone.

First, Javier prepared a bath for you, a warm one.

"Peña, I just dumped you... You don't get to see me naked again." - you said to him, while you were sitting on the closed toilet and he took off your shoes.

He laughed. You were a cute drunk.

"Don't call me Peña. I already told you. Right now, I'm not calling you by 'jefe' or 'Y/LN' either. You're cariño, hermosa or even babygirl."

You began to take off your clothes, while he took off his jacket and folded his sleeves.

"I like cariño, Javi..." - you almost purred. - "I shouldn't. But I do..."

"Good. Cariño will be, Hermosa."

He helped you finish undressing and getting in the tub.

"Oh, it's gooood. Thank you, Javi..."

He remained outside it, just taking care of you, not letting you lay down too much or sleep.

When you finished, he covered you with a towel, leaving you alone for a few minutes to look for some medicine, as hangover prevention, and some food.

A little like him, your fridge only had whiskey, water and a leftover pizza.

You two were more alike than any of you wanted or expected.

He used the oven to heat it, at the same time you put a red and lacy nightgown.

"Oh, fuck, cariño... Had to be this one?" - he asked you, trying not to sound so horny.

"It was this one or none. Pick your poison, Javi."

He sighed. What a fucking brat you were, even drunk as a skunk.

"Sit, please. There you go, eat it. Where do you keep your painkillers?"

"My bedroom..."

"Finish your dinner, cariño. I'm going to give you some, we've got work to do tomorrow, you need to bring your A-game."

"Peña, I always do. Don't mess with me."

He snorted. Feisty one you are, as usual. He liked that about you.

You finished your slice and he took you into bed, made you take your medicine. He didn't lay down, he just sat next to you, observing.

"He never took care of me like that, you know?" - you revealed, almost sleeping.

"Who, cariño?"

"Ben..."

"Who's Ben anyway?" - Javier asked, pretending not to be curious, but you were too drunk to notice anything in his voice.

"My ex fiance... A cabrón... Malparido." - you cursed.

"Remind me, cariño, why?"

"You know... All the cheating, all the lying..." - you yawn. - "I'm tired, Javi..."

"Sleep, cariño. Buenas noches, hermosa... I'll bring breakfast tomorrow morning, before we go to the office."

But you slept before he even finished his sentence.

Javier left you safe and sound, at your apartment.

However, he never felt worse.

He wanted to be with you, more than sex. More than he ever wanted to be with any woman. 

The problem is...

He's also a cheating bastard. He also fucked half of Medellin and Bogota.

He doesn't deserve you and he knows it.

Javier doesn't care.

He's not going to give up on you: on the contrary, he's going to solve all that he can before you ever find out...

But how? How is he going to keep Lorraine away? How will he manage his boy's custody?

Too many questions, no answers.

“One problem at the time…” - Javier told himself, crossing the hall and entering his apartment.

He looked around: all in order, but you were missing. He wanted to do it right…

Javier laid on his sofa… But it smelled like both of you. He got up and sat at the table in the kitchen, Lorraine’s letters organized in a box. 

Pandora's box, as he joked sometimes to himself.

“Fuck…” - he cursed. - “How am I going to pull it off?”

* 

Next morning, he knocked on the door, anxious.

The seconds before you opened it felt like hours. He was bringing you breakfast from Mrs. Hernandez's café: arepas with cheese and eggs, mantecada, marquesa and, of course, black colombian coffee.

You open, holding back a smile, wearing a black dress and boots.

"What are you doing here? Something happened?" - you sound surprised.

Javi smiled, coming in as you let.

"Yes, cariño, I told you I would bring breakfast... I don't get the surprise. Wait, you don't remember? You were that drunk?"

"Oh, fuck! I forgot... Sorry, by the way."- you said as Javi entered your home.

He pulled you into his embrace, after putting the food at the table, and held you close, smelling your hair. - "I miss you so much, cariño... Don't push me away, please." - he begged.

You took a deep breath, Javier's scent was so good, so masculine and strong... You miss him too, but how can you manage it all?

You look deep in those puppy eyes.

Fuck, you hate that effect on you.

"Can we talk about it later? I'm very thankful that you brought food and took care of me last night... But things are not that simple. I don't quite remember, I was really drunk. But I do remember that I said I dumped you."

He laughed, stroke your hair.

"Not exactly... But you did reveal a few things, including that you quit smoking and drinking whiskey because of me."

You turn your face away. You felt a stupid girl, alcohol in and truth out. Your own mind betrayed you.

"Oh, fuck. Peña, I... Really, let's eat. After work we can talk, okay?"

He agreed and you both set the table. It was all delicious, he brought everything you like.

"Was Ben at least thoughtful during your hangovers?" - he asked, casually, with a smirk on his lips.

"Peña, what the fuck? How dare you? That's none of your business!" - you screamed towards him.

How and what does Javier know about my ex? - you thought.

"Cariño, you're the one who brought him up last night. I was just curious..."

"Peña, you have no right! Leave my home! Right the fuck NOW!"

"Y/N, what the fuck?! What the hell happened to you from last night to this morning?"

"I got sober, my senses got back to the right place. And you know what? I was only delaying what I was going to say. We're not getting together again. That night was a huge mistake!"

"Your car is in the garage, by the way. Keys in the ignition. See you later, jefe." - he picked up his coffee that was on the travel mug and left your apartment, not looking back.

Next

[stuffnonsenseandotherthings]

People I Want to Get to Know Better

Tagged by @twig-tea. Thank you, I hope my Watchlist quenches your curiosity!

Last Song: About Time by D.O. I've been listening to his albums a lot recently and every time I still feel my breath catch a little at his voice.

Favourite Colour: I keep saying it's blue (and it is) but I somehow keep ending up buying things that are either pink or yellow so.....

Currently Watching:

- My Sweet Mobster (when a rom-com advocates for réhabilitation rather than punishment... it works surprisingly well)

- The Trainee (in love with the series and the characters, a potential new favourite)

- Century of Love (really enjoying it but I need to catch up to it because I got distracted by:)

- Knock Knock Boys (the GIFs worked, I couldn't not check this out and I binged it in 2 days, I would fight for Latte's happiness).

- Shogun (Henry Blackthorn annoys me so much BUT at least it's as a person rather than as a character so the writing is solid)

- Spy X Family (pure joy in 25 minute blocks)

I tried out Serendipity's Embrace yesterday but it didn't feel like something I'd enjoy so that's moving to my "not interested" pile.

I also have planned binges for Bangkok Blossom, The Glory (S1 and 2) and The Crowned Clown to try and clear some of my To Watch list.

Last Movie: I don't watch many movies at all BUT I did recently watch Moonlit Winter and all I can say is watch it watch it watch it. I actually cried, not sad tears, but happy cathartic tears because of how beautifully the movie portrayed the relationship between the mother and daughter.

Otherwise it would have been Inside Out 2, which I can now recommend as an excellent educational tool to use for kids just about to experience puberty and all the new emotions that come with it.

Currently Reading:

Ancestors: A Prehistory of Britain in 7 Burials by Professor Alice Roberts. And look, I know it sounds dry but it's really well written, covers eras of history there is still very little known about, and has an excellent chapter in which the author dismantles TERF and gender essentialist talking points using archaeology.

I've also just finished Spy X Family vol. 11 (now waiting for vol. 12) and I'm about to start Twilight Out of Focus (I can't watch the anime until I've read the manga) and read Red Thread vol. 2 (the manga based on UWMA).

Sweet, Spicy or Savoury?: Sweet unless it's a meal.

Relationship: Actively single

Current Obsession: My cat and also iced Chocolate.

Last Googled: "actively single" to check it meant what I thought it meant.

Currently Working On:

- Learning how to make my own clothes.

- Clearing my watchlist so that I can rewatch things and actually take time to write meta.

- Moving country without losing my mind.

- Clearing my TBR.

Tagging @lurkingshan @waitmyturtles @doyou000me and @respectthepetty apologies if you've already done this!