#thank you so much for asking!! apologies for writing a wiki article!!!

[strangesmallbard]

have u ever shared the lore of torlynn's guardian/dream visitor? :O

i haven't yet! at least not directly—i have posted about the oc she looks like: torlynn's previous girlfriend, a human storm sorcerer/oath of the ancients paladin named thalia adrian, who died in terrible circumstances about a century ago. specifically, she's the version of thalia that torlynn first met. when she died, she was about 40 human years old.

those terrible circumstances happen to be extremely plot relevant! anyway, like many people, i always headcanon the guardian as someone significant in tav's life, either someone who previously guided them and/or haunts them. and thalia—and those terrible, plot-relevant circumstances of her death—haunt torlynn so so so much! especially awhen the party enters the shadowlands at the beginning of act 2 . eyes emoji.

something else important: in addition to all the cool things above, thalia is also a bhaalspawn. if you know bg1/bg2 lore and raised your eyebrows at thalia's last name, you are very correct: she's actually gorion's ward, the protagonist of the first two games. (i haven't gotten a chance to play them yet, so all my info is from various wikis. i definitely plan to, though!)

the full torlynn/thalia story has expanded into many rooms in my mind palace, so i'll put the rest under a read more for anyone interested haha.

HISTORY:

a century and a half before the events of bg3, torlynn was a high harper based in the sword coast. before that, she served the harpers since her early 100's, participating in multiple campaigns/adventure parties across faerûn for the next three centuries. a century and a half before the events of bg3, torlynn was a harper before she was anything or anyone else, wholly dedicated to the cause. she also took her leadership role very seriously and gave up most personal relationships as a result, even amongst fellow harpers. she also became more careful than the unreserved, reckless, hotheaded person she'd been in youth.

more important context: torlynn's mom was a powerful necromancer and well-known in her academic circles. back in the day, she'd do all sorts of necromantic experiments in the baldur's gate sewers, as so much weird shit happens there. including bhaalist cults every few centuries or so. when torlynn was still in school, her mom went missing down there and absolutely everyone stonewalled her when she tried to find out why, including her dad (shareholder at sorcerous sundries) and the flaming fist (who she briefly joinde after graduating wizard school). she eventually determines that bhaalists were involved, but never found any trace of her mom.

SO when sarevok causes problems on purpose in baldur's gate, torlynn is right in the thick of it for both harper reasons and personal reasons, pulled to the home that hadn't been home in a very, very long time. (frankly unsure if this counters bg1 canon but this is also my mind palace <3). and then she meets thalia: bright, kind, reckless, very chaotically good, and a bhaalspawn. and a sorcerer, which simply doesn't help matters regardless of how torlynn is a wizard who cannot stand the company of other wizards. (parents made her go to wizard school).

RELATIONSHIP:

they ummmm do not hit off right away. although torlynn very much believes in the harper tenets of Free Will and Liberty Over Systems, she's also a big fan of rules and organization and systems that facilitate free will. and, of course, breaking rules and systems that are stupid and don't make sense. (this all very wizard of her, but don't tell her that) (thalia tells her that, repeatedly). she also doesn't trust thalia's dark urge for very valid reasons. this all manifests in clashes that annoy everyone in the general vicinity. but this is a classic enemies-to-lovers, babey! they experience trials and tribulations, defeat thalia's loser brother, and fall very hard for each other.

their relationship is always a bit tumultous, as they don't stop clashing about the fundamentals. bhaal is also determined to make thalia succomb to her urge, meaning her bhaalspawn dreams get a lot worse around torlynn. but these bitches love each other! they're mutually obsessed! lesbian devotion > your shitty dad, every time. their differences are ultimately complements; torlynn grounds thalia, helping her perceive things like fantasy spreadsheets and consequences for your actions, while thalia helps torlynn find that balance between her Great Harper Responsibilities and like, having fun lmao. experiencing life to its fullest extent after spending her own protecting others. [insert a 50k relationship development fic here].

LET'S JUMP 20 YEARS:

in that time, thalia has also joined the harpers, albeit in a less formal capacity. she and torlynn spend half those years together and half apart as thalia 1) avoids murdering her, and 2) searches for other bhaalspawn across the realm, determined to save them from their urge. (she rarely succeeds. according to the wiki page for gorion's ward, something that sets gorion's ward apart from other bhaalspawn was their supportive upbringing, which very few have). at some point, they hear about a weird situation brewing beyond the mountain pass. some guy named ketheric is causing problems on purpose and shar is involved. can't be good.

and man, you know most of what happens next. the harpers join forces with the druids from the grove and together they defeat ketheric and his dark justiciars. in this version of the story, however, they almost lose. their forces have dwindled into nothing and help isn't on the way and torlynn's best ranger flew off the fucking handle and started torturing enemy scouts. one night, huddled under a tent, shar's darkness already clinging to every corner, thalia brings up a strategy they haven't considered. dire to be sure, but don't these people deserve every dire strategy we have left to give? aren't you always saying that to win, we must sometimes be willing to lose? torlynn says Under No Circumstances Are You Allowed to Do That. i will make sure you never have to do that.

thalia bristles; she hates when torlynn pulls rank. (when anyone pulls any type of rank). she doesn't say anything else because she doesn't want to get mean. torlynn is too terrified to say anything and too ashamed of her fear to talk about that either. so they don't talk again, not until that final battle when another fucking shadow squadron crests over the field and thalia Does Just That.

that being: assume her slayer form, succombing to the very urge she dedicated her entire life to fighting. and because the slayer's only motivation is Kill Everyone, there's only one way to stop her from turning on the harpers and the druids after the dark justiciars are all dead and gone. and torlynn makes sure she's the one to stop her. she owes that end to her. she wants to hold her one more time, even if what she's holding is a very scary creature with lots of pointy limbs.

AFTERMATH:

when the war is officially over, torlynn is not well. like fundamentally just had her belief in anything shaken and stirred and then exploded and also exploded again. she's dedicated her life to this cause and now the lands are cursed and thalia is dead, turned into the monster she hated. perhaps her mother was right about everything turning to rot, so you may as well use that rot to your own ends. except torlynn is bad at rotting, so she goes to bother her mother's god about getting her girlfriend back. but, well, thalia isn't with myrkul. she's with bhaal. and he's noooot letting her go so easily.

that's when torlynn loses that last grip on her previous life. she deserts the harpers, throws herself into necromantic research, and decides she's going to rescue thalia from bhaal if it's the last thing she does. she spends about 75 years doing this. and then something too complicated for this already too-long post happens that causes her to abandon this mission. winds up teaching 10-year-olds how to conjure ice at her old school in waterdeep, still adrift and bitter and mostly unwell. that's roughly her status quo until the nautiloid scoops her up from the road between waterdeep and baldur's gate.

CONCLUSION:

anyway! the emperor sees this big ball of noxious grief in torlynn's mind and is like Oh fuck yes a little bowl of seeds for me (perfect circumstances to manipulate the scary, highly-competent elf lady). he would have succeeded but torlynn has the power of friendship and gay sex with karlach on her side.

HEY, THEY KIND OF LOOK LIKE TALDER?

you got me there! torlynn kind of started out as an alder uber; i wanted to make an older lady oc who was both a magic user and some kind of military commander. besides their penchant for repression and the way grief is a huge part of their stories, torlynn wound up pretty different overall! thalia shares some physical traits with tally, but she's also taken a life of her own since that initial Haha Wouldn't It Be Funny If brainstorm. if anyone's interested i'm very happy to elaborate, but this is already too long LMAO. p.s. if you read the whole thing i love you

[lesbianmonsterlover]

Waterfalls & Whirlpools (5)

Double post part deux!  The fifth installment of my camp nano project.

---

The sun has just begun to peek above the horizon somewhere distantly, the sky is still mostly dark but ever so slowly lightening and birds begin to wake from their nightly slumber.  Erin sits heavily at her desk.  It is possible that she’s suddenly begun sleepwalking and sleep writing, despite no history of it otherwise in her life.  She isn’t on any of those odd sleeping meds that sometimes make people do strange things in a fugue state.  If it isn’t her though, that means it has to be something or someone else, and the only response her brain can cook up is magic.  She doesn’t exactly feel...great, when she thinks about it that way.  What else could it possibly be though if not magic?  She isn’t willing to pull apart the book to find out, so with that resolved in her mind she returns her attention to the fresh passage in her journal.

I’m sorry it’s taken me some time to respond, things here are progressing at a fast pace and preparations cannot be halted, even for the most interesting conversation I’ve ever had.  We’ve settled in for the night though, after a rather long day at the armory and smithy.  Tell me about your work, what do you do?  I would suppose you can tell that I am something of a mercenary.  

‘No’ thinks Erin ‘I cannot.’  She supposes that it makes sense, in the context of the messages and now knowing what she knows about what the world on the other side of the page seems to be like.  She wonders what sort of something is progressing over there, what kind of adventure or battle they’re headed into.  Mercenaries tend to be hired by armies, right?  Right.  Well, that makes her feel a little bit inadequate in the face of likely a literal warrior who deals with death on a likely daily basis.  Still, Erin doesn’t have it in her to lie, besides what would she even claim to do that she could back up with enough knowledge that doesn’t make her look like a weakling any more than being a librarian does.  

I am lucky enough to travel with dear friends and work to keep the realm safe.  We handle niche problems that larger forces cannot.

“Am I reading a fucking D&D backstory?”  Erin vacillates between this being real and this being some kind of giant hoax being played on her by the town.  She suddenly regrets moving so far away from her care team and being here without a therapist.  Arthur had been the best, and was so very confident in Erin’s progress that he encouraged her to take this job so long as she would stay on her medication and continue practicing her mindfulness.  Sighing a little and rubbing her eyes, Erin decides once and for all to just...go with it.  If this is what’s happening, then she’s going to roll with it for now and keep evaluating things as time goes on.  

I wouldn’t have guessed you were a mercenary!  Considering that isn’t particularly commonplace in my world.  I am a librarian, I work in a small library at a school.  I didn’t love working in the city library system, and I’ve always enjoyed working with children, so being a school librarian was much more my speed.  It’s boring compared to what you do I’m sure!  But I enjoy it because it’s so quiet and predictable.  I find it hard to believe that the most interesting conversation you’ve ever had is with a librarian from small town Washington, but I’ll take it as the compliment you intended it as! 

Erin pauses briefly in her writing, considering what to ask next, whether it’s even appropriate to comment on the quest her writing partner is set to go on, when ink begins to flood the page again but not from her hand.  

Ah, don’t be so hard on yourself.  You’re a keeper of knowledge, it’s an important post.  Just because it isn’t dangerous doesn’t mean it isn’t impressive.  Besides, of course you’re the most interesting conversation I’ve ever had, you’re the only person I’ve ever talked to outside of our world.

“Well that sentiment is certainly mutual.”  Erin mumbles to herself out loud as she watches the writing seep to life.  

You’re certainly the only person I’ve ever talked to from outside of my world.  I keep wondering if I’m insane or if this is actually happening.  Magic isn’t real!  But apparently it is?  Or maybe this is one of those ‘sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic’ scenarios.  But I’m rambling, and I thought I only did that verbally.  

What do you mean magic isn’t real?

Erin is interrupted by a frantic and barely-legible scribble.  

I mean, at least in my world, magic literally isn’t real?  Except for apparently it is because we’re talking like this?  I mean, people have their own beliefs and whatever but there’s no like proof that magic exists.  It’s not like someone can just conjure fire or whatever, I’m hesitant to even tell anyone about this book because I’m pretty sure they’ll think I’m nuts and toss me into inpatient treatment because I’m essentially talking to myself. 

That’s the crux of it really, isn’t it?  There’s no one that Erin can show this to, no one that she can go to with this cool, weird thing that’s happening.  No one she can trust to share this with who would not immediately call for her to be evaluated for some sort of disorder.  It’s surprisingly easy to vent this into the journal, to get those anxieties out on the open onto the page.  The writing being scrawled beneath hers is frantic and once again barely legible.  It takes her some time to parse it out, and even then she isn’t one hundred percent on every word. 

Wait so you’re telling me that you don’t have access to magic at all?  But...how do you...how do you do anything?!  Does healing just take forever?  How do you treat illnesses?  Poisonings?  You’re telling me you’ve never been cursed?!  Can you at least enchant weapons?  How do you fight otherwise?!  You’re telling me you can’t even light a simple fire?!

You can almost hear the panicked voice on the other end, yelling about the lack of magic and all of the things she’s supposedly missing out on because of it.  “I mean, I can’t say I want to be cursed…”  Erin mumbles a little sourly, she’s almost pouting.  It feels a little judgmental but it’s not like there’s anything she can do about it.  “I can light a fire just fine, thank you very much, it just takes a lighter.”  She sticks her tongue out at the book as she talks out loud before drafting a response. 

Well, we’ve got technology?  We don’t really need to light fires that often, we might for pleasure in a fireplace or at a bonfire but we have electricity for heat and light, we have machines to help treat illness and we work hard to prevent it whenever possible with vaccines and immunizations.  We fight here I’d guess similarly to you guys in a lot of respects, although something tells me you all don’t have guns or explosive warfare.  If you could see a gun you would understand why we don’t need enchanted weapons, at least here in our world.  It’s not like we fight anything other than each other and the occasional wild animal.  No, I cannot say I’ve ever been cursed, at least that I know of.  

Erin watches the ink from her partner’s pen meet the page to start a word only to stop a few times.  Giggling to herself she leaves the book where it is for a few minutes to make a pot of coffee, bringing back a large mug of it doctored with cream and sugar.  Her writing companion had started and stopped a handful of times, leaving a smattering of dots and lines on the page before scrawling out a few more questions in a slightly steadier hand. 

Electricity like lightning?  You can harness that kind of raw energy?!  And you say it isn’t magic?!  

Erin laughs at that, taking a deep sip of coffee and trying to figure out how to explain electricity to someone whose only experience with it is in the form of raw lightning.  Of course electricity is terrifying, it can fry through you and stop your heart in seconds, or leave you with permanent injuries and melt off skin or even whole limbs.  Lightning strikes are no joke, and the damage they do can certainly leave you in awe of their power.  She herself doesn’t even really understand how it works, she knows enough to know that if she plugs her phone in, it charges.  If she puts a fork in an electrical outlet, it will kill her.  Something about resistance and ohms and circuits floats around in her head from her schooling, but nothing concrete or sure enough to do anything other than make her more confused.  “I mean I guess I could pull up a wiki article on the basics and do some transcribing…”  

That’s how Erin spends her early morning, trading messages back and forth with Urzash trying to explain the basics of electricity to them while being peppered with questions about how in the hell any of this could possibly work without killing someone. 

Well, a lot of people have died working with electricity.  It’s incredibly dangerous, it’s safer now than it’s ever been but especially in the early days a lot of people died because they didn’t know what they were playing with.

She completely loses track of time with this conversation and the rabbit hole she’s gone down, and it isn’t until her emergency late alarm goes off that she realizes she hasn’t even started frying the donuts, let alone showered or gotten dressed.  Her closing message is slapdash, apologizing but admitting to losing track of time and needing to leave like right now.  She feels a little bad about it, but doesn’t have time to dwell on it as she turns on the deep fryer before running to the bathroom to throw some dry shampoo in her hair and brush her teeth.  Grad school work, if nothing else, taught her about how to efficiently get through a routine in no time.  She’s only ten minutes late pulling into the school and running in with an apology about the donuts taking too long.  Mrs. Forrester laughs and waves off her apology as she pulls the foil covered tray from Erin’s hands.  “You can be late all you want if you bring me homemade donuts darling.”  

Erin blushes but laughs, pushing down the thoughts of the journal waiting for her back home and the reason she was actually running late this morning.  The unused dough sitting back in her fridge would get fried up later for her own donuts, and Mrs. Forrester didn’t need to know the dozen in the tray were only half the amount she had meant to prepare.  Breakfast is fun and quiet, the town gossip from Mrs. Forrester is pretty tame all things considered and mostly consisted of particular family rivalries that might rear their heads when it came time for classes to start.  “You’ve got to watch out for the Harrisons, by the way.  Their eldest daughter, Brianna, has been known to take books out of the library without actually checking them out in order to keep other children from using them, and has started teaching her younger brother Evan to do the same.  Their parents put a bit too much pressure on them for their grades and class position, so I understand where that instinct is coming from, but we’re working on teaching them better habits.”  

Erin sighs and snags a second donut from the tray (Mrs. Forrester already halfway through her third) taking a bite from the sugary cinnamon donut before taking a deep drink of coffee.  She could get used to this, listening to the older woman chatter on amiably while they drink coffee and eat sweets.  It’s bittersweet that Mrs. Forrester is retiring, but hopefully with enough of these early morning coffee dates Erin will be able to convince the older woman to keep meeting up occasionally outside of work.  The shrill ringing of the school bell interrupts her train of thought though, and Mrs. Forrester stands before recovering the donuts with foil and putting them in the bottom drawer of her desk with a wink.  “Alright darling, duty calls.  We’ll have some more of those at lunch, and you absolutely have to give me the recipe.”

[iturbide]

Hello! Sorry for this vaguely random question, but since you said that you’ve never played fates before (but you have played awakening, I think?), I was wondering if you maybe had any tips/warnings for someone who loves fe characters and lore and wants to write about them (I’m particularly fond of awakening but only through posts/other people/the like) but has never actually had the chance to play a/that specific fire emblem game? Sorry if that was confusing at all, and thank you in advance

Hi there!  Don’t worry, there’s no need to apologize.

You are correct, I have played Awakening!  It’s the only Fire Emblem game I’ve played through to the end (I’ve started Blazing Blade and Path of Radiance but never got far) and remember with any clarity (apparently I have played Sacred Stones because I found old spin-off fanfic when I was digging for Ace Attorney stuff, but I legitimately remember nothing about that game), and I found the story and characters deeply engaging despite its obvious flaws.  

I think the question I would have is, exactly what kind of writing context are we discussing?  Is this full-on fanfiction for a game you haven’t played?  Headcanons only?  Or just the characters themselves in a different setting (a la Heroes)?  Because I can offer advice for two of these three!  

It’s just the first case that I really can’t handle, because – at least when it comes to my own writing – I can’t write fanfiction based in a world I don’t know.  Whether I want to or not, I cannot write Fates fic until I actually play the games or watch a full playthrough, because there are so many details of the setting and story that get lost when boiled down into articles on a fandom wiki.  Even if I were to follow every link, it’s just impossible for me to get a full understanding of events, and I personally don’t feel confident making the attempt.  You might have better luck and more confidence than me, though!  And playthroughs are pretty widespread on YouTube – though if you’re like me and prefer text-based runs (I’m not big on commentary, so it’s sometimes hard for me to find a video playthrough that I can sit through), you can always try the Let’s Play Archive. 

The latter cases, though, I feel at least slightly more confident about – and for that, I think that you’re on exactly the right track already!  Exploring Wiki pages about the game and characters, reading analyses from players, and talking to people who are familiar with the games is a really solid starting place for developing an understanding of the basics.  For me with Fates, a few people I talk with regularly have played the games (at least one I would consider my go-to expert), and every once in a while something will cross my dash with an interesting perspective on one character or another.  Support conversations are also hugely helpful, since each conversation can highlight different aspects of a character that might not have time to shine in the main story.  Heroes has also been really helpful for me, personally, when it comes to familiarizing myself with characters: the whole reason I got so attached to Takumi is because of his dialogues in Heroes, which made me start digging into his character and trying to find out more.  I have no idea if my starting concept of him is close to canon or not, but it adheres to the information I have available to me and I’m pretty happy with him.  

Lore becomes a bit trickier, though, especially depending on what you’re looking for in particular.  The unfortunate truth is that some aspects of the games are sadly underutilized or even mishandled (and I’m specifically looking at Valla for the first and Plegia for the second).  I talk a lot about how Grima, the Grimleal, and Plegia get the short end of the stick in Awakening, but that is very much my personal opinion only, and I see a lot of fan works that don’t seem to question the in-game presentation or even lean into it.  It’s the same with interpretations of Grima: there’s a wide assortment of portrayals, from chaos incarnate to wanton destroyer to ancient entity who just wants to be left alone, and none of them are wrong because there’s enough evidence to support any one of them and no concrete proof to refute them.  Even Naga, probably one of the most frequently recurring characters in the series, has multiple interpretations: at face value, she can be taken as a glorious, glowing goddess taking care of humanity; but it’s equally possible that she’s simply an entity who has made many mistakes in her time and is trying to find ways to mitigate the damage; and at the far end of the spectrum there’s the humanity-obsessed divine willing to rob a child of her life and drive her own kind to extinction for the object of her fascination.  And again, none of these are necessarily wrong.  It’s very much up to personal interpretation and what an individual wants to highlight. 

If I had any warnings at all, though?  It would be don’t get discouraged. No matter what you do, there are always going to be people who dislike things, and some of them can be vocal about it; I’ve gotten some pretty nasty anons criticizing my headcanons in the past, but at the end of the day, they’re not the ones creating, so they have no say.  Your views, your headcanons, your interpretations of characters – those are all your own, and they are valid.  Do your research, find what you like, and build it from there.  People out there can be wonderfully passionate about these games (I know I am with Awakening), so you can always reach out if you want to get someone’s take on a certain character or event.  I hope this helps, and if there’s anything else you want to ask about, you’re always welcome to ask!

[queerlyloni]

A Coming Out Letter

This is the letter that I wrote to my mom and dad tonight. I printed it out, and I signed it. I addressed an envelope to them, signed it with my name on my return address, and I’m gonna mail it. So, you know, here goes everything.

Dear Mom (and kind of Dad),

           I’m writing this instead of saying it to you over the phone or on Skype because words have always been a comfort to me. I know that when I have the chance to write what I want to say, I can go back and edit and make sure that I’ve really said all that I mean to. I know that they’re also a little bit of a comfort to me, something to hide behind, but what I want to say to you scares me, because it differs from what you’ve thought of me for the last 24 years.

           To put it very, very bluntly, I’m non-binary[1]. I identify as neither male nor female, but as something other, and maybe a little bit of both.  I may not quite be a boy, but I know, and have known for several years, that I’m not really a girl. I know that this may come as a shock to you, but it doesn’t to dad. He knows. He knew, I think, on some level, for some time now. He asked me point blank about it one night while we were hanging out downstairs, watching television. When I said yes, and let myself be out to him, he said “this is gonna kill your mom.” That’s the last thing I want to do, literally or figuratively. But it is literally killing me to continue to live my life as a half-truth. Especially to you, to family, to people that matter to me.

           In all honesty, I don’t really know that you’re all too surprised by this. It was when I started looking at colleges that I started to go by names other than Patricia. Mail came to the house addressed to Clarke, because I think, even before I really understood it, I was experimenting with how even just a name could make me feel less uncomfortable in my skin, and in the role of “girl” that I really didn’t feel like I fit into. But I was scared of who I might have been, and it was easier to lie and hide it from you than it was to accept that I was questioning what I was assigned.

           College was the first time that I really gave myself permission to be all of who I was. I volunteered with Vote for Equality, and I got to meet real trans people, ask them about their lives and experiences, and be exposed for the first time to people who understood what I was feeling, and gave me the space to feel out where I was.

           I went by Lonnie for most of college, until it was my senior year and graduation loomed. I was originally going to come out to you my senior year, but I was held back by the fear of the conversation that we had when I first came out to you as bisexual in my freshman year. I was terrified of another response like that, because it was the only experience I had with coming out to you. And I was too fragile mentally to deal with anything resembling rejection. So I went back into the closet, started going by Patricia again, and ignored that part of me for almost another year.

           I think that now, especially with the Trump presidency being a very real thing that I have to deal with, I’m learning that I shouldn’t have to be afraid of or apologize for who I am. I think that in the face of this thing that is truly terrifying to me, I want to be able to be proud of myself and my gender. And I hope that you love and respect me enough to be proud of me and my gender as well.

           What I need from you, as a person, but also as a parent, is understanding and a willingness to learn. The pronouns that I use, and would like you to use, are they/them/their pronouns. There are several places online[2] that can help familiarize you with the gender neutral pronoun when referring to someone specifically. I know that we do this when talking about someone generally (“Whose cell phone is this?” “I don’t know, but they’re gonna miss it!”), and I think that you’re more than intelligent enough to pick it up. Because I don’t identify as either a man or a woman, pronouns like “he” and “she” don’t really suit who I am as a person. It makes me uncomfortable to be forced into the binary, since I exist outside of it. I would like to be called Lonnie. I’m planning eventually on changing my name (I was going to do it after the wedding so that I could change my name and last name in one fell swoop). I read a good article about names, and a parent said something to the effect of “Your name was our gift to you. But it was a gift. And when a gift doesn’t suit you, you aren’t under any obligation to keep it. You can exchange it, return it, or do whatever best fits you.” I will always appreciate the gift of my name that you gave me. But I also need you to recognize that it’s a name with inevitable gendering ties, and there’s no way to break free of that without a change of name. I really like Lonnie Kay Leeann. I will always love my middle name, because it’s a part of both you and dad. I’ll keep that forever. It’s a gift that I treasure.

           Something that you may be wondering is how I can wear dresses, skirts, and makeup, and not consider myself a girl. I would challenge you to look to the media of today, that shows men being the faces of makeup ad campaigns[3]. Much of the world today challenges the traditional norms of the past. For example, women wear pants, boys wear skirts and dresses (Jaden Smith is a really great example of how men have started to defy the idea that they have to be “traditionally masculine” in order to be read as male) and makeup, and none of that makes them any less of a boy or a girl. Clothing has no inherent gender. It is society that imposes all of these restrictions and limitations, but what I feel comfortable wearing has no bearing on my gender. You wear pants, but they don’t make you any less of a woman because society says that dresses are traditionally feminine. Comedian Eddie Izzard, who sometimes wears dresses, said before that his dresses aren’t girl clothes, they’re his clothes. He bought them, so they’re men’s dresses. That’s something that’s resonated with me for a long time.

           My gender identity is one of the reasons that I’m so convinced that I’m never going to have children. It makes me wildly uncomfortable to think about being pregnant. I’ve been self-conscious about my chest and my ovaries for years, and especially my period. When I think about being pregnant, I’m filled with an overwhelming sense of dread that nobody would ever be able to see me as anything but female. That’s why, when I was with you at UCLA, I was so quick to say that I wouldn’t want reconstruction after having a mastectomy. I’ve actually considered top surgery off and on for about four years, because I think that getting rid of my breasts will help me to be more comfortable. I know that there’s no one solution, but this is something that will help me feel better and more myself in my skin. That’s something that’s important to me.

           I think that I’ve been rambling for a little while here, because it’s difficult to know how to end this letter. I want you to know that you have done nothing wrong, and that there’s nothing wrong with me in being non-binary. Just like there’s nothing wrong with me being bisexual, and that you didn’t do anything wrong to “cause” me to be this way. This is just who I am. I love you, and I trust you endlessly. I want to be honest with you, because I think that you deserve honesty from your child. You deserve to know all of who I am, and I want to share that with you.

           Thank you for reading all of this. If you have questions, please feel free to ask them. I want to be an open book, and willing to have conversations and talk with you, otherwise it’s not really sharing, is it? I love you, and I will always be your child. I’m just a little different than you’d anticipated.

           Love always,

 [1] http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Non-binary is a good page to find some more information.

[2] http://motto.time.com/4327915/gender-neutral-pronouns/

[3] http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/things-james-charles-male-ambassador-covergirl/story?id=43219825

[script-a-world]

I've been writing an Avatar (the 2009 Jame's Cameron one, aliens ya know?) fanfic recently that has quite a bit of world/culture building. My problem is that I'm sort of flying blind since I don't know much about tribal lifestyles. I've tried to look for some books on the subject but haven't been having much luck. This is a bit of a long shot but would you happen to know any good books (non-fiction preferably) that could give an insight into this sort of culture?

Sorry we took so long to get to this!

A couple of pylons gave good answers, so please take a look at them under the cut! 

constablewrites:

The biggest thing probably hampering your research is that tribes are not a monolith, so "tribal culture" isn't going to yield much info. Narrowing it down to a particular tribe or Nation will yield much more relevant results.

I'm trying to do a bit of digging to see if there was a particular tribe that inspired the Na'vi, but I'm not coming up with much. It seems like Cameron pulled most of his details from generic Native American stereotypes rather than the practices of any individual culture. The only specific reference I've found so far is that the language was partially inspired by Maori.

It doesn't look like WWC has touched on the film directly, but here's a post from them on writing Native American characters: http://writingwithcolor.tumblr.com/post/95592577327/can-you-please-explain-a-little-bit-more-abou

Bina: 

First thing to consider-- this is a fanfic. Your fanfic! Once you've garnered all you can about Cameron's preset worldbuilding, you can embellish and extrapolate all you want so long as it connects well with the pre-existing canon (I'm assuming you want a solid handle on the canon worldbuilding, since your fic expands on the culture of the Na'vi).Think about this less as "writing for a tribal culture" and more "how do I fill in the rest of the puzzle that I was given in a way that's cohesive, logical, and is interesting to me?" The Na'vi's ideology and social structure are a really nice solid framework of "edge pieces" for you to start with  Lucky for us, Cameron gave us a lot of those two things! Use them as a starting point and a reference for how realistically your additions fit with the canon world!

For example, the ideology. The Na'vi place a HUGE importance on coexisting peacefully and eventually merging with the world around them. When they kill an animal for food, they thank it. Upon death, the "spirit" is passed into a tiny piece of the world, a seed, to continue on as a part of nature. They even have those weird hair-connector... thingies that lets them form a psychic bond with animals for an even CLOSER connection to the world around them. And we can't forget about the pseudo-intelligence collective of Eywa that they worship.This sense of coexistance with and massive respect for nature should permeate any bit you add to their culture. It's been established that it's a part of who they are as a people!  That's not to say you should focus entirely on their relationship with the world, but just know how important it is to them and how it shapes the decisions they make and their lifestyles.Now, the social structure. We see that there are two positions of importance in the main tribe (other tribes might possible have different setups). The chief, and the shaman-style woman. You can already throw in worldbuilding such as "the shaman position is always held by a woman, passed down by blood inheritance," or "the shaman chooses a successor from her tribe when she senses she is near death."

There are lots of other positions in the tribe open for filling in. They're pretty easy to come up with once you take into account the world that they're in. They have no technology beyond basic tools (spears, baskets, things that can be made with raw natural materials, paleolithic-level stuff). The world is rich and lush and full of life. They are omniverous. There are a /lot/ of them in one tribe alone. What might they need to sustain themselves in a place like that? Hunters? Gatherers? Warriors? Traders? Scouts for new territories? How does each 'job' see the others? Do they all respect each others' positions? Do the warriors look down on the gatherers? Or does everyone see the importance in ever role in the tribe? Is there a heirarchy or is everyone equal? Are there social benefits to being one thing over another?

When you're worldbuilding, flying blind is perfectly okay! Sometimes you never think to consider a topic until it pops up in your story and suddenly you need to think about it. You can't foresee or prepare for everything in advance. Sometimes things even change, because the story you want to write might conflict with facts or details you thought about prior, and you just really, REALLY want that one thing to happen so screw your previous worldbuilding plans! Whenever I'm adding new information to my worlds, I ask myself these questions, and I encourage you to do the same to make things easier, even when flying blind."Does this new tidbit /actively contradict/ existing facts?" If so, revise the tidbit, or change the things it contradicts to make it work."Do the implications of this tidbit clash with existing culture/ideologies/ideas?" This one's kind of abstract, so I'll give an example. Say I have a race of humble folk who care more for interpersonal relationships and taking care of each other than material wealth. Then I want to bring prosperity to their village, so I have them suddenly discover a ton of gold beneath their village! error they shouldn't care about the existence of gold beneath their feet because of their life values, and wouldn't do anything with that wealth even if they did find it. Of course, they could see the use of having money and use the gold to pay for new shoes for every child or something like that, or maybe one person goes on a selfish streak and betrays the rest of his village by selling them out. Forcing the concept can make for interesting scenarios! But be conscious of the ramifications of anything new you introduce. Sometimes it just doesn't work out and can make the reader go "huh? but I thought that..."

Finally, (and this is part of the fun of worldbuilding, at least for me) what are the /implications/ of the tidbit itself? If you think of a cool new idea and realize just how much it impacts other things, and also the implications of the idea, you can go on a huge, explosive worldbuilding streak. That's happened to me tons of times, where something as simple as "magic only works during the full moon" jumps to "the highest number of crimes must also happen around that time, by opportunistic mages" and then "do people offer insurance that's active during those days to prey on the paranoid?" and "how paranoid DO normal people get during the full moon? Are mages locked up prior to the full moon by their friends and families 'for their own safety?' do mages find this unfair? ARE THERE MAGE RIGHTS PROTESTS? How does the public feel about that? Does the government do anything about it? Who does the gov't favor more?" etc etc etc. Embrace those moments! Taking a moment to think about the impact and implications a new chunk of worldbuilding has on your world can explode into a wonderfully productive time for your fic/story/universe.To actually answer your question I'll give you at least one link to something to read. It's a wikipedia article on the Paleolithic era, particularly human social structure during that time. The level of technological advancement of the Na'vi is about equivalent to that era on Earth, so it should give you a rough idea of what to start thinking about. Being wikipedia, it's a fairly dry and dense read, so my apologies about that...https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paleolithic#Social_organization