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#that actually love everyone but have to squash it
rocksibblingsau · 1 day
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Now you got me wondering, How would Funk Branch interact with the royal family, r&b, and lownote jones?
With Quincy and Essence there are some things that are spoilers for Rock Sibblings, but just know things are rocky at first! For outside reasons as well as the fact that Branch simply never really had parents for very long, let alone TWO parents (excluding temporary fosters). He was raised by his grandma. The two are just as patient as Thrash is, so they do eventually make progress with him and by the time of adulthood they're a close knit family.
Quincy and Essence encourage him to explore various interests and they are always great listeners. They love Branch a lot, but Branch doesn't replace what they lost.
As a kid, Darnell didn't initially get along well with Branch. Neither wanted the other as a brother. Branch for obvious reasons and Darnell because he wanted his brother, not a replacement. Over time they warm up to each other under the agreement they're just friends, but that eventually falls away and they're brothers. It's a learning curve for Branch to be a big brother, and he comes to find that he could never imagine leaving D the way his brothers left him. Even the thought of moving out of their parents house to next door feels like abandoning D. He also carries some guilt over the fact that this should be Cooper, but D is always quick to reassure him that he'd never trade Branch for Cooper. He'd love to have both his brothers, but if he can't then... well, he's happy with how things turned out.
Branch is the first one that D tells about his idea for Hip Hop. If anyone would be open to a subgenre, it's his adopted Pop-turned-Funk brother. Branch of course supports him, and even dabbles in Hip Hop himself, maybe even being Hip Hop as well.
When Cooper does reunite with D, that fear of abandonment is there again. The fear that Branch was just a replacement that D doesn't need anymore. D however grabs Branch's hand and pulls him over to Cooper and introduces them. Cooper's surprised on all fronts, but especially that Grey Branch was a good older brother to his twin. Hearing about how good of brother Branch was to D makes Cooper feel bad for how Branch was treated by Pop Village. Cooper was an odd one out, and if he had only tried, the two could have been friends. It's clear that Branch wasn't AGAINST caring about people like he'd thought.
The three become a little trio, with Cooper happy to go from 0 brothers to 2 in the span of a day.
Lownote Jones is used to everyone adoring him, normally just from his voice alone or his charms. While Branch can certainly notice both of those, he doesn't act like other people around Lownote, which he really likes. Branch actually becomes interested in Lownote due to Lownote's reputation as a scientist and pilot. Lownote isn't aware of this at first, and is kind of disappointed by the change, but in a 'oh well, it was nice while it lasted' kind of way before he realizes Branch is actually just more interested in the things he says rather than the "smooth cadence of his voice". The two are VERY good friends and Branch is introduced to Funk science by Lownote. Branch gives a very interesting outside perspective...
Which ties into how he interacts with R and B! He reins them in when they get too ahead of themselves and reminds them of the basics. He doesn't always get along with them, often finding some of their stuff too over the top. ("Why does the machine that opens a bottle have to be this big? Can't it be bottle opener sizes?" "How else will it fit the boombox?" "Why does a bottle opener need a BOOMBOX?" "Why not?") Though he can get wrapped up in it as well (See Holiday in Harmony and his gift to Poppy) sometimes.
Lownote shakes his head in disappoint at BroZone, meanwhile R and B contemplate the ethics of a machine that either 'removes jerkness' or 'squashes washed-up boy band members into ball shape and knocks them into space with a mallet'.
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inkskinned · 28 days
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will you be enough for her, though. little slip child. you hated every time you had to scream to be heard, so you stopped screaming. it feels so fucking demeaning, 16 and shivering, saying please! father! look at me! and having him say in a minute sweetie.
online they're back to making fun of self-harm scars. isn't that funny. we have dropped the silver pretense of empathy and are walking around without any shred of humanity.
are you still shouting? how can anybody love you, then, siren. error signal. your voice so quiet and desperate. nobody is going to help you, stop begging. how can anybody actually look down at you without squashing you flat. oh, darling. you once bit into the back of your hand to stop from crying out, and discovered that it felt too dramatic for repeating.
people like you aren't supposed to cry, because you are too much. you have never meant to, but you take the air out of a room just by walking in. other people can take up room like a sunbeam. you blurt out all your wickedness in oilslicks, everyone can feel it. you slosh yourself over their hands and demand their flinch. you are a bone stuck in the throat.
be more beautiful, more perfect. if you can earn it, they won't abhor you. they might even tolerate you, if you turn the right way and never stand up straight.
but love? her life is a silver fish, a cat paw. your life is a long, thin, impossible desire - angry like a blade. your life is a crack in the floortile. you cannot bring your rotted fruit heart into the church of her hands. you will ruin her. you will overtake everything good for her.
or worse - you will have to beg her look at me. and that moment of desperation will ruin you forever. completely.
deleted scene from body's a bad monster, 9.24.2024
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master-gatherer · 1 year
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Getting real sick of capitalism's insistence that every fucking order needs to be out ON TIME or God help you
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total-dxmure · 4 months
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✦ INVISIBLE STRING THEORY →【ELLIE WILLIAMS】→ CHAPTER TWO
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pairings: modern!marine ellie x reader
summary: the marines didn’t ruin ellie. ellie ruined ellie. after being medically discharged she feels lost. being sent to live with joel is more of a last ditch effort to save her and less of a fun reunion for the father-daughter duo. jackson is worlds different than chicago, but the fresh air and sprawling countrysides are a welcome reprieve. ellie finds herself finding comfort in more than just the change in scenery though. after losing your girlfriend due to an accident you feel as though you’ll never find love again- but that was before meeting ellie williams. the two of you figure out that you have more in common than just the fact that she and your girlfriend were both marines though. tethered by some invisible string, the two of you meeting has to be fate. who would have known that you were the golden ticket to ellie’s recovery?
warnings: eventual smut! lots of tension building and mutual pining. ellie falls first and hard. small town girl meets a frightening, strong ex marine. TW: talk of panic attacks, ptsd episodes and death. come for the ellie smut and stay for the plot and fluff. (A/N: this chapter is just plot/character building. next chapter we're getting to the good stuff)
⬶ previous chapter | next chapter ⤅
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The old farm truck rocked back and forth as you made your way up the all-too familiar dirt path, heading in the direction of the greenhouses. You’d already let the hens out to graze and feed and the last thing you had to do before dropping today’s produce off was check on the nurseries. 
Johnny Cash’s southern twang hummed gently over the speakers, your well worn-in cassette tape having been the first thing you reached for this morning. The sun had risen just a few hours ago, and after a few cups of much needed coffee you were ready to go. 
The caffeine had done the lord's work, having cleared your brain of any anxious background noise. You could actually function when you had tasks at hand. The second you slowed down though… well, that was a different story. You were trying hard not to imagine Abby sitting beside you in the beat-to-hell red pickup, her blonde braid tossed over her shoulder as she stuck her arm out of the window. You used to joke about her being part dog, what with her loving the wind on her face so much. You missed being able to reach out and wrap a stray strand of blonde hair around your finger, only giving it a soft tug when those blue eyes of hers looked at you with a little too much heat behind them. 
So instead of looking at the empty passenger seat you busied yourself with turning up the volume, country music crackling over the shot, old speakers. You all but jumped out of the car the second you put the car in park, ready to get your hands dirty and your mind preoccupied.
You couldn’t remember how many times the two of you had snuck off to the greenhouse when your mother had gotten a little too overbearing back when she still lived in the main house with you. There wasn’t a single surface in the old rickety building that abby hadn’t fucked you on or vice versa. 
You walked along the rows and rows of seedlings, looking for any sign of water rot or bug infestations. Everything was perfect, every stem and leaf a vibrant green. Tomatoes, all different kinds of summer squash, and beans of every variety; you had the gift of a green thumb. Your father was more than happy to sign his company over to you right before he passed. All five acres of his property belonged to you now, and with that every bit of responsibility had been placed upon your shoulders. You used to resent the fact that you were so young and in charge of so much. Now you were thankful for the constant work. Distractions. You hated seeing your dad’s life work being summed up as a mere distraction, but it was the only thing that got you out of bed in the morning. 
Everyone in the family knew that your dad had wanted a boy when your mother’s pregnancy was first announced. It was a family business, the job having been passed down to him by his own father. Still, he had been ecstatic to show you the ropes. Rather than taking up dance or art like most other little girls your age, you spent your free time elbow deep in mud. You wore the bows and fussed over getting new outfits, but overalls were your daily uniform. 
You wore a pair even today, your work boots tightly fastened to ward away any unwanted pecks from overprotective mother hens. Today was bound to be monotonous, as it always was. All you had to do was repot a few strawberry plants. Maybe if you were lucky a goat would find a hole in the gate and escape. At least it would give you something to worry about that wasn’t Abby related. 
You slunk over towards the sinks, pumping soap into your dirt covered palm to wash off the dirt. You rubbed your hands together to begin lathering but froze when you realized your right hand felt bare. You brushed your thumb against your middle finger only to realize that it was just as you had feared. 
Your ring. It wasn’t there. 
White hot dread locked your limbs as you turned your hand over, the dainty opal missing from your middle finger. You blinked, hoping that you were just seeing things. You didn’t even turn off the sinks before racing back over to the repotting table, as if the promise ring had grown legs and would escape you. Your eyes frantically searched the table, pain shooting through your knees as you dropped down on all fours, pushing dirt and leaves aside to get a better vantage point. Nothing. It wasn’t there. 
“Oh god. No! No, no, no.” You all but screamed, eyes filling with tears as you pulled yourself off. 
You broke out into a nervous sweat, the blood rushing from your head. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening right now. 
You didn’t care if you killed the plants, you ripped the strawberries up by their stems, shaking their roots out as you searched their new pots. 
Every. Single. One. 
Empty. 
Abby had given you that ring just before her last deployment, promising that she would be giving you the real thing once she got back. Of course, she never did. It was single handedly the most important piece of jewelry that you had ever owned, even above your grandmother’s pearls and engagement ring. How could you be so reckless? Why hadn’t you thought to leave it in the car? 
“Stupid! I’m so fucking stupid!” You screamed, tossing a clay pot on the ground in a fit of anger. It shattered behind you, exploding into a thousand tiny pieces. 
You spent an hour sifting through dirt and untangling roots before you finally realized that it was a lost cause. The ring was gone. You’d wrecked the entire greenhouse in your frantic search and the strawberries were just as you expected: dead. 
You slammed the door shut behind you, the old window panes shaking with the force. You had barely thrown yourself into the pickup before your body was wracked with full body sobs. White knuckling the steering wheel you leaned your head forward, completely unbothered as the horn blared. 
How could you lose something so precious to you? It had been the last gift that you had ever received from Abby. The last. There was no possible way to replace something that was that special to you. Her hands had touched that ring. She’d been nervous to give it to you in the first place, anxious that two years hadn’t been enough time to give you something that sentimental. It was the meaning behind it that had you clutching at your chest, your fingernails digging into your shirt as if you could rip your heart straight out from between your ribs. 
She was going to replace that ring once she got back. Give you the “real deal” once she was back home and able to have a ceremony. 
But there would never be a ceremony. Never another ring. Never another Abby. 
Never. Never. Never. 
It felt like you were losing a piece of her, and with that came the revelation- the same one that you’ve already had a thousand times- that she was really gone. There would be no do-overs; no alternate universes where the two of you could be together. The reality of your situation sat heavy in your throat, clogging your airway. 
The loss of Abby had eclipsed your heart completely, and darkness was all that was left. 
You stayed in the car until your eyes had practically swelled shut and there were no more tears to shed. 
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The car ride back to her childhood home was completely silent, the only sound being the engine of Joel’s shiny new truck. She did her best to compliment him on the new purchase, but Ellie was sure that she didn’t sound even half as enthusiastic as she had hoped she would. She didn’t feel like being an actress today. Not when he already knew how bad she was doing. Joel had taken one look at her as she got off of the plane and frowned, grabbing her bags only after giving her a bone shattering side hug. 
“Well I missed ya,” He finally spoke, causing her to jump in surprise. The sound of his baritone voice soothed her nerves over though. “I’ve really missed you annoyin’ the hell outta me at all hours of the day.” 
Ellie cracked a small smile at that, leaning her head into the plush leather seat. The last time she saw Joel was when she had first been transferred to the Kindred Hospital back in Chicago, which was where she had rotted away for a full week. Her eye and face healed up quickly but her back was a different story. She’d been burned badly and had all of the nasty scars to prove it. He had stayed by her bedside for the entire week and had helped her to readjust to being back home in her apartment. The nearly debilitating pain was the only thing that had distracted her from the gravity of her situation back then. 
Her therapist said it was normal to disassociate for long periods of time when the body and mind are put under so much stress. Ellie still felt like Ellie back then, but it was only because she didn’t have any real grasp on reality. It was just a few days after Joel left that she finally snapped out of it. She was one of the only five that survived. She was told that landmines were the cause of so many deaths in Iraq. 
“It happens all the time out there. You didn’t know. It’s not your fault.”  
She didn’t want her unit to just be another statistic. They weren’t just numbers. They were people who had loved ones at home. Loved ones that they had to leave for months and months on end. She couldn’t help but shoulder all of the blame. Ellie was the one that had led them out there in the first place. It was her fault, so why hadn’t she died right along with them? She would have considered herself lucky if she had lost her life right along with them. These were the people that she saw daily. Ellie had developed deep friendships with every member of her unit. She knew the details of all of their lives- the names of their children and loved ones back at home, what they wanted to do with their lives once they were dismissed- how could she not feel like someone had ripped her soul to shreds? How could she not constantly remind herself, every second of every goddamn day, that she was the reason. 
She was a ghost. A mere shell of the person that she once was and she had no one to blame but herself. 
“I didn’t know you liked me being annoying so much,” Still, she turned to Joel and cracked him a small smile. It was more for his sake and less for hers though. “I’ll make sure to turn it up a notch while I’m here.” 
The older man grumbled, shaking his head slightly as he kept his eyes on the country roads in front of him. “That sounds like a threat.” 
Ellie could tell that he was playing with her. They were professionals when it came to teasing each other, often to the point that people thought that they were seriously bickering. The short haired female let herself settle into the normalcy of the moment. He hadn’t mentioned anything about the accident or her mental state yet, so it was easy to pretend that things were still…okay. 
So that’s exactly what she did. She began to pretend. Ellie allowed herself to be transported back in time. This was just another Tuesday. She’d get back home and sweet talk Joel into cooking her an after school snack. Then she’d go up to her room and procrastinate doing her homework so that she could reread one of her comics. 
“Got anything good in here?” Ellie asked before opening up the center console. “I’m not gonna find anything nasty, am I?” 
Joel’s lips pursed as he tried to fight off a smile. “Don’t go rifflin’ through my shit, kiddo.” 
Her eyes snagged on a familiar purple book, and for the first time in a while something yawned to life in her chest. Joy. 
“What do we have here?” She pulled out the book of puns, using it to fan herself before she cracked the bad boy open. 
“Ah, don’t start.” He groaned. 
She didn’t take the time to wonder why he had put the well loved book in his brand new truck. Instead of allowing herself to be overcome with endearment she flipped to a random page, her lips turning up in the first genuine smile she’d had in months. 
“Where can you find a tiny coke?” She asked him, turning in her seat so that she could face him, tucking one of her converse-clad feet underneath her. 
“Hey! Get your dirty shoes off of my new upholstery!” Joel reached over and gave her knee a slap. 
Ellie reared back, holding the book of puns tight to her chest. 
“Come on, try and guess.”
He groaned, rolling his eyes as he leaned his arm against the door. 
“I don’t know… tiny town.” 
Her nose wrinkled, an eyebrow quirking up at his half assed answer. 
“Shitty guess, but alright.” She mumbled under her breath. “Mini-soda.” 
“Hilarious.” He said sarcastically, turning onto the familiar drive. 
“I think I saw you smile though.”She leaned over to give his cheek a poke, but he swiftly batted her hand away. 
The truck’s all-terrain tires crunched over the gravel driveway, revealing the only real home she’d ever lived in. The house and yard looked exactly the same as it had whenever she was a teenager. She sighed out a breath of relief, not knowing how much well she would have handled any sort of severe change. Ellie opened the passenger side door before Joel had a chance to put the car in park, eager to settle in after the flight. She wanted to shower, and that surprised her a bit. A welcome surprise.  
Maybe things would be better for her here.  
“You didn’t turn my old room into some perverted sex dungeon while I was gone, did you?” She teased as she grabbed her tan duffel bag, easily tossing it over her shoulder as she bounded up the stairs. 
He laughed as a response, following close behind her so that he could unlock the front door. She didn’t know why he even bothered. He lived in the middle of nowhere, and they rarely got visitors. 
“I’ve got some guitars in there that are worth a fortune.” He’d told her the last time she’d asked. 
It had been one of the few times that Ellie had snuck out of the house after curfew. She’d been unable to haul herself back into her second story window once she’d gotten back home and had been forced to sleep in the beat up old hatchback that he had bought her for her sixteenth birthday. Breakfast that morning had been… tense, to say the least. 
“I didn’t touch your room… but I did get a dog, so make sure not to let her out.” 
She paused at that, turning to look at him with wide eyes. There had been a strict “no animals” rule back when she lived with him. She never thought she’d see the day where Joel Miller would adopt a pet, let alone a dog. 
“You got a dog?” She was still in disbelief and half expected him to fucking with her. 
“Buckley is a good boy. He shits on the floor sometimes and barks all hours of morning though. It’s almost like having you home.” He teased, bumping his shoulder against hers so that he could shove his key into the lock. 
The deadbolt clicked open, and low and behold there was a dog. He looked like some sort of lab mix, his pink tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth as he anxiously waited for his owner’s return. Ellie was too excited to come up with a witty response to Joel’s joke. She tossed her duffle down on the couch, quickly getting down on her knees so that she could pet the dog. 
“He’s not much of a guard dog, is he?” He asked, closing the door behind him. 
The second that Ellie’s hand tangled into his thick black fur he flopped down, eager for love. Ellie smirked, looking at Joel over her shoulder. 
“I don’t know. He looks pretty ferocious to me.” 
The sudden knock on the door had Ellie’s lips downturning, eyebrows pinching in confusion. She didn’t like the idea of company right now, and the last thing she wanted was to socialize with anyone. For a second she feared that he had called a doctor or therapist to come out to the house to see her. She wasn’t sure if she could take another “come to Jesus” meeting this week, and she was barely holding it together as is. Ellie put her hands on her knees, pushing herself up to stand before she nodded at the door. 
“Company?” She simply asked, crossing her arms over her chest. 
Joel ignored her obvious distaste, wrenching the door open quickly before she could stop him. It sure as hell wasn’t Tommy. . . and Ellie doubted that most doctors wore overalls, even in Jackson. The sun was beginning to set on the horizon, the golden rays shone through the vast expanse of trees on the property, making it almost look like the world was on fire. The warm glow behind the beautiful stranger made her look ethereal almost, her eyes watery and cheeks flushed. At her feet was a cardboard box packed to the brim with fruits and vegetables. All at once Ellie became startlingly aware of the fact that she looked like absolute hammered shit. Her hair was a frizzy mess, her skin was paler than it had ever been before, and she was wearing an old NASA shirt and dingy sweatpants. If she noticed her disheveled appearance she didn’t show it. 
The smile that she beamed in Joel’s direction didn’t quite reach her eyes, and a strange sense of understanding flickered in Ellie’s gaze as she took a few inquisitive steps forward. Ellie Williams knew what suffering was like; true suffering. Looking at her was like looking in a mirror, her well hidden misery plain as day to the auburn haired female. 
“Sorry I’m so late, Mr Miller. My truck was giving me problems.” Her voice was beautiful. Melodic in a way that Ellie’s wasn’t. 
Spring. . . this girl was spring incarnate. 
And she was lying through her teeth. 
She’d been crying. Ellie could tell. Still, Joel was already peeking his head out of the door, looking in the direction of where she had parked. 
“I could take a look at it for you.” He was being dismissed with a small wave of your hand before he could even get the words fully out. 
“That’s so nice of you, but I’ve got it cranking up again. It shouldn’t give me any more trouble today.” Her hair fell off of her shoulder as she leaned down to pick up the box.
Ellie moved forward without thinking, picking up the heavy box for the girl before her fingers could even grip the sides of the cardboard. “Here, let me get it.” She said, craning her neck up so that she could speak directly to the woman. 
There wasn’t a single thing about you that Ellie found undesirable. In that moment she was completely certain that you were the most beautiful woman she had ever seen, even with the pain and memory that swirled behind your bright eyes. Their eyes locked, and much to Ellie’s embarrassment, she held her gaze. She watched her with the same sort of silent appreciation. 
“-I think it would be good for her. What do you say?” Ellie hadn’t noticed that Joel had been talking the entire time. 
The woman blinked a few times, tearing her eyes away from Ellie. “Huh? I’m sorry, do you mind repeating that?” She was nervously tucking a few strands of unruly hair behind her ear, shifting in place on the front porch. 
“I was just saying that Ellie is going to be staying out here with me. I think working with you on the farm would be good for her. It would help her to get out of the house, and I know you’ve been pretty busy since it’s just you running things now.” Joel put a hand on Ellie’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. Supportive. Non-judgemental. He was reminding her what would be good for her mental state right now, and having something to do with her hands would certainly help to take her mind off of things. 
“O-Oh!” The girl’s lips parted in shock, her eyes flickering between the two of them. “Yeah, I don’t see why not. I get a pretty early start though, so don’t feel obligated to wake up as early as I do.” 
“I’ll wake up.” Ellie said quickly, nodding her head. 
Her words held a tone of desperation and it had Joel’s head whipping around in her direction. He probably wasn’t expecting her to be so supportive of his last minute idea. She couldn’t be sure if it was because she genuinely wanted to get her mind off of things or if the farm girl’s looks had anything to do with her enthusiasm. Ellie couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt drawn to someone like this. Relationships were the last thing on her mind these days. 
“Can you start tomorrow?” The other girl asked, shoving her hands into her front pockets. 
Adorable. She was adorable. Ellie felt her breath hitch and all she could do was nod as an answer for your question. 
“Alright. . . “She began to trail off, backing up a few steps on the porch. It seemed like you were in a bit of a hurry. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.” 
“Tomorrow.” Ellie repeated back to her. 
She leaned back, lifting the box higher up on her chest so that she could watch the woman get back into her mud stained pickup truck. She only took a step back when Joel started to close the door on her. 
“So you’re actually fine with that? I didn’t think you would go for it, honestly.” Joel rubbed at his stubbled chin, flashing her a small smile of approval. 
“There’s no way I want to be stuck in a house with your ass all hours of the day.” Ellie quipped, walking to the kitchen so that she could place the vegetables on the countertop. 
“I think workin’ there would be good for the both of you. That poor girl has had an awful year. . . I think you’d be good for each other. She needs a friend.” Joel’s voice was somber as he followed her into the kitchen. 
Ellie turned to face the older man, swallowing hard as he leaned against the doorway. He was being a bit cryptic. It seemed like he didn’t want to be the one to tell Ellie the girl’s business. Still, she was curious, and she didn’t want to be blind sided tomorrow just in case she wanted to talk about it. Ellie wasn’t usually nosey, but she had a strong urge to get to know her. 
“What do you mean by that?” Ellie’s first guess was that she had to be going through some sort of divorce. Joel had mentioned the fact that she was on her own now, so coming to that conclusion was natural. 
“No, nothin’ like that,” He cleared his throat before pushing off of the door frame, slowly beginning to unload the box's contents. “She lost her girlfriend and her father this year. She’s the kindest girl. . . you’d never know how much she’s sufferin’ based on how she acts.” 
“Oh.” Ellie frowned, having realized that your mourning must be the reason for your sad, sad eyes. She understood how it felt to lose so many people so close together. Better than anyone, really.
“Oh.” 
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weasleyreidstyles · 4 months
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Serendipity
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chapter seven
summary: it was only meant to be a purely transactional relationship. he would help her strengthen her abilities in return for her getting his friends out of his father's nasty path. he didn't mean to fall for her, but loving her was the easiest thing in his dark world.
no use of y/n, but your general nickname is Meadow. all characters are aged up to be over 18.
pairings: mattheo riddle x fem!ravenclaw reader; platonic!slytherins x fem!reader; platonic!golden trio x fem!reader
warning(s): this is quite long, canonical voldemort style violence, use of one wizard slur (bloodtraitor), one mention of torture, parental death (minor mentions)
series masterlist; previous part; next part
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The weeks flew by after that day in the Room of Requirement. In those weeks, you and Mattheo had gotten nowhere with researching your newfound siphon abilities, as most literature was just a regurgitation of previous works. The two of you grew closer, sessions usually ending in a spontaneous make out or sensual tryst, but he still refused to go any further than that. Refused to be completely vulnerable with you. Safe to say that your days were a lot more interesting, but it was becoming harder to hide your clear feelings from the prying eyes of your curious friends.
Harry had been frequently visiting Dumbledore's office for his own lessons of sorts and he had learned more about Mattheo's father, Tom Riddle, but nothing about why he needed one of Slughorn's specific memories.
The four of you were slaving away in one of the Herbology greenhouses when Hermione brought up the subject of Slughorn's illustrious dinner parties, which Harry had been avoiding.
"There's no way you'll be able to get out of this one because he actually asked me to check your free evenings, so he could be sure to have it on a night you can come." she said, wrestling with the weird pod-like creature that you were studying for that week.
Harry groaned as you snickered at his misfortune. Meanwhile, Ron, who was attempting to burst his pod in the bowl by putting both hands on it, standing up, and squashing it as hard as he could, shared a look with you and said angrily, "And this is another party just for Slughorn's favorites, is it?"
"Just for the Slug Club, yes," said Hermione, annoyance written on her face.
The pod flew out from under Ron's fingers and hit the green house glass, rebounding onto the back of Professor Sprout's head and knocking off her old, patched hat, causing you, Ron and Harry to let out loud laughs that died out at the Professor's unimpressed look sent your way.
Harry went to retrieve the pod while Hermione carried on, "Look, I didn't make up the name 'Slug Club'—"
"'Slug Club,'" repeated Ron with a sneer worthy of one of Malfoy's. "It's pathetic. Well, I hope you enjoy your party. Why don't you try hooking up with McLaggen, then Slughorn can make you King and Queen Slug—"
"You almost sound jealous, Won Won." you teased, using Lavender's cringe-worthy nickname that he clearly abhorred. Despite having a girlfriend, you just knew that somewhere deep down in his stupid, stupid brain, Ron still had feelings for Hermione.
"We're allowed to bring guests," Hermione, who had turned a bright, boiling scarlet, snapped, "I would have asked you, but I don't think your girlfriend would like that very much."
You turned to face Ron as he gufawed at your best friend. "Don't worry Ronald, I'm not one of his favourites either. Teddy's invited me as his plus one for this one, I'll let you know what we're definitely not missing out on." He only glared at you again in response.
Theodore had asked you to accompany him so that he wouldn't be stood alone as Blaise flirted his way through the other pureblood attendees. You had agreed and he gave you free reign of his Gringott's vault to choose a dress from a boutique that Pansy had graciously taken you to. It paid well to have a rich friend or two in this world.
It seemed that everyone knew of Slughorn's party and the chance of going as a guest with one of his members – you and Hermione caught Romilda Vane and her friends whispering about 'Harry' and 'Fred and George' and 'Love Potions' in one of the girls' toilets in the intermission between Transfiguration and Potions, and had watched in shock as they discreetly opened one of the twins' own Love Potions disguised as perfumes between them. You had both warned him to be wary of them, but of course Harry rarely listened to the two of you.
The three of you were walking out of the now-closed library, Ron off with Lavender Brown somewhere, when Romilda came up to him and offered him a bottle of Gilllywater. Hermione's i-told-you-so look had him declining it, but she seemed prepared and had shoved a pink heart shaped box of chocolates into his arms.
"Chocolate Cauldrons." the girl had said. "They have fire whiskey in them. My grandma sent them, but I don't like them."
Romilda smiled before walking away.
"Definitely firewhiskey in there," you say sarcastically. "Give it a whiff before you eat them. Make sure it's not Ginny you're smelling." you say before leaving the pair, laughing at Harry's disgruntled look and making your way to the Ravenclaw common room, intent on researching a book on Mermaids and Siphoners, but you weren't confident that you'd find information that wasn't in the books you'd already combed through.
~∞~
"I'm going with Luna." Harry said the next day. "To Slughorn's party. I'm going with Luna."
"That's wonderful, Harry." you say with a smile. "She really needs a pick-me-up bless her. Some idiot in her year keeps stealing all her things."
The girl came and told you not an hour later, an excited gleam in her pale blue eyes.
~∞~
A few days later, you were waiting outside the Slytherin common room, nervously smoothing out nonexistent creases from the fine silk of your deep green evening gown. You had agreed to meet Theo, Blaise and Pansy here before walking to Professor Slughorn's office together, where the dinner party was being held.
Hesitantly, you knocked on the door to the common room, not knowing the password for it, obviously. The person who answered it made you want to smite them immediately – Greggory Goyle was as nasty as they came.
"What do you want, bloodtraitor?" he spat as he glared down at you, before his beady eyes snapped to your body, namely your chest.
"Not that it concerns the likes of you," you say, voice full of venom, "But I'm waiting for my date to Slughorn's dinner party."
"What poor soul agreed to take you to something as sophisticated as a dinner party?" the boy sneered, his gaze beginning to become an uncomfortable hindrance before your friend's voice rung out into the empty corridor.
"I did, Goyle. Now kindly fuck off." Theodore snapped before his gaze softened on your form. "Tesoro, you look dazzling." his face lit up with a smile as he twirled you under his arm.
"Thank you, Teddy." you flushed, while giving him a once over. "My, my, don't you clean up nicely." he swatted away the hand that patted his cheek.
As you were greeting Theo, the rest of his friends exited the common room, Lorenzo announcing that you'd have to wait for Blaise to 'stop staring at his reflection' as he did. It was obvious that Theo and Pansy were regulars at illustrious dinner parties: Theo wore a tailored suit, with a crisp white shirt and a dark green silk waistcoat and tie (charmed to match the exact colour of your own dress); Pansy wore a sleek dress in a rich shade of deep plum and her face was painted exquisitely with makeup that accentuated her pretty siren eyes, her short black hair styled into a flattering bob. She had come right up to see you in the dress she'd helped you pick out: a dark green silky number that hugged your body in the most flattering way.
She was busy fawning over the way your hair fell over your shoulders gracefully, when the hairs on the back of your neck stood on end and you felt a familiar prickle in the back of your mind. You turned to find Mattheo, white shirt partly unbuttoned, hair disheveled and eyes slightly bloodshot as he admired you with no shame. The way his deep, onyx eyes took you in from head to toe made you feel hot all over, and the words he spoke into your mind, made you melt even further. If that was even possible.
You look beautiful, love.
You smile at him in gratitude which was sent in waves to the forefront of his mind – a new trick he had taught you. He nodded his head with a proud smirk which sent flutters right to your core.
You look much better in Slytherin green than Ravenclaw blue, darling. You should indulge more often.
The boy was actually flirting with you and he basked in the sight of your flustered expression.
Pansy was the only one of the surrounding group to see your interaction and she gave you a look that you understood was her way of telling you that the two of you would be discussing this later.
Finally Blaise, who had just stumbled out of the stonewall entrance, said with an exasperated breathe: "Let's get this over with, please. I want to get there so I can leave earlier. If Slughorn asks me about my mother's latest husband one more time I may explode."
You stifle a laugh behind your hand as the tallest Slytherin glares down at you. "Were you not the one making us all wait in favour of admiring yourself in the mirror, Zabini?"
"When you have a face like mine, it must be admired Meadow." he replied with a self-assured smirk. Lorenzo practically guffawed at this, which is when you notice that his eyes were bloodshot like Mattheo's. But he was always a cheerful boy, seeing him laugh was a regular occurrence within this group.
Soon after Blaise appeared, you hooked an arm in the crook of Theo's elbow and the four of you began your walk to the classroom, completely missing the glare that Mattheo was pointing at the back of his best friend's head.
Compared to other offices you'd seen, Slughorn's was namely the biggest. Drapes of emerald, crimson and gold were streamed about the ceilings and walls, creating a tent-like effect about the room and thousands of faeries fluttered about the golden glow of where the apex of the drapes met, the faint fluttering of their wings could be heard over the music and chatter. The moment the four of you entered you'd commented on how crowded and stuffy it was as a live classical band played over the loud conversation from older wizards all around the room.
"I didn't know he invited elders here." you mumble to Theo who hums at you.
"It's all networking. A way to secure future positions in the Ministry." he said, resentment dripping from his tongue.
"And you don't want that?" you ask, staring at his profile, thanking him when he gave you a flute of champagne.
"I wanted to be a professional quidditch player, but my father wants me to follow in his footsteps." he says, before dropping his voice to a mere whisper. "And I mean that in all senses of the word, tesoro. It's not something I particularly want."
You hummed at his answer but squeezed his arm all the same. He sent you a sideways glance full of warmth. You'd almost forgotten about what he would endure during the upcoming holidays; it made you feel inexplicably guilty that you'd be having fun with your friends and family while Theo would be suffering.
Blaise and Pansy had already found themselves at the table of food platters with Daphne Greengrass, which is where you also found Harry, Hermione, Luna and Cormac Mclaggen. You grabbed Theo's hand and dragged him towards them, ignoring his discontent with being within radius of Harry and Mclaggen.
"Hi guys! Mclaggen." you say as you reach the quartet. "Mione, Luna you both look gorgeous."
They both thank you before all four of them frown at the boy behind you. "Oh for Rowena's sake, he won't bite, will you Teddy?" You sent him a pointed look over you shoulder, which had him instantly agreeing, albeit reluctantly.
"Only if they don't bite first." he says, his deep, accented voice dripping with uninterest. "Let's go and dance, tesoro. Make the night a little less unbearable."
You agreed and spent a majority of the night sipping on expensive wine and laughing with your three Slytherin friends, mindful to avoid Harry's looks of something that you couldn't name that he sent your way.
~∞~
The four of you spent hours dancing, only interrupted when Harry asked to steal you away to dance with him, as Luna had become caught up in a conversation with Ginny, Dean Thomas namely absent from her side. While you and Harry were contently swaying, there was a disturbance at the entrance.
You watched in the corner of your eye as Harry's face lit up with a sinister smirk at the sight of Malfoy being dragged into the room by Filtch who had him by the scruff of his robes.
"Professor Slughorn!" he said in his typically slimy voice. "Found this one lurking in the corridors upstairs. Claims he was invited to your party but was delayed in attending. Did you issue an invitation?"
If looks could kill, Filtch would be six feet deep.
Malfoy was glaring at the man with distain and fury as he yanked himself free of the caretaker's grasp, brushing away imaginary flecks of dirt from his rumpled suit.
"All right, I wasn't invited!" he said angrily. "I was trying to gatecrash, happy?"
Filtch was evidently not happy about this, but the look of immense joy that crossed his face sent shivers down your spine.
"You're in trouble, you are! Didn't the Headmaster say that night-time prowling's out, unless you've got permission, eh?"
Slughorn dissipated the situation with drunken ease, inviting Malfoy to stay for the remainder of the dinner party. Harry's face was a picture of bewilderment, mirroring Filtch's one of overwhelming disappointment.
"He looks a bit ill doesn't he?" you say under your breathe as Hermione comes to stand beside you.
"Who?" Harry asked, dumbly. You stared at him with a deadpan expression on your face.
"Malfoy. He does look ghastly pale." Hermione mumbled while you all watched as he chatted away to Slughorn about his grandfather.
"He's up to something." Harry said obstinately. You and Hermione shared a look and simultaneously rolled your eyes.
"You've got to stop with this Harry. You don't know for certain that he's a Death Eater." Hermione muttered, keeping her voice low enough that others wouldn't hear. "It's bad enough that you outright accused him in front of Professor Mcgonagall and Professor Snape."
"I still can't believe you had the audacity, to do that." you say, but Harry wasn't listening to either of you. In fact he followed right out behind Snape and Malfoy when they exitted the room, not ten minutes after the latter's noisy arrival.
"Oh for fuck's sake." you grit your teeth at your friend's stubbornness. Hermione shook her head before dragging you over to where Luna and Ginny were stood, having watched Harry sneak out.
~∞~
With the Christmas holidays finally upon you, you were spending a few days at the Burrow with Ron's family before you floo'd home to your family.
Hermione's lack of presence seemed to lay heavily upon you as you sat next to the empty seat in the kitchen that she'd always sit in. You don't know how she puts up with Ron and Harry without you – a headache was slowly building up in your temples as Ron asked Harry to repeat what he'd heard when he followed Snape and Malfoy out, for the millionth time, as the three of you polished Mrs. Weasley's cutlery.
Finally reaching a breaking point of sorts you snap at the pair.
"If you defy the unbreakable vow, you die. It's a sacred pact, Harry. Are you certain that Snape accepted one?" they turn to look at you as if forgetting you were there.
Ron nodded in agreement. "Yeah. Fred and George almost convinced me to make one when I was five, but Dad went mental when he found us. Only time he's ever been scarier than mum." he pauses before adding an anecdote about Fred being punished pretty severely, which seems to summon the two giant twins into the kitchen, clad in expensive slacks, making fun of the fact that Ron and Harry were still not of age yet – unlike you. Fred turned to you then, a bright smile lighting up his face.
"Hello gorgeous, how are you coping with these ninnies without Mione?" he had a dazzling smirk on his face, which you would've fallen for once upon a time, had a polar opposite, wicked smirk not taken up your entire mind.
"Barely, as usual. How've you been, Freddie?" you smile up at him as he sits on the edge of the table, leg brushing your's.
Ron dramatically gagged, interpreting this as a flirtatious interaction. This turned the twins' attention onto him once more.
"We've heard through the grape vine that you have a new beau, Won Won." George said with a smirk. Ron turned to glare at you and you held your hands up in surrender. If you could use your legillimens abilities on him, you'd be screaming "it wasn't me, I swear!", but Ron would surely have a heart attack if you so much as whispered into his mind.
"Lavender Brown, was it? That's what Ginny said in her letters. How'd you manage to bag a girl, Ronniekins?" Fred chimed and they snickered as Ron's face went bright red.
"Piss off, will you." Ron mumbled, you and Harry smirked at his discomfort. "She's sweet."
"And here I thought he and Mione would've overlooked their pride and gotten together by now." Fred murmured to you, his breathe hitting the shell of your ear. You turned to face him, finding his alluring blue eyes staring right into your own.
"I believe that means you owe me a galleon...or five. I recall a bet we made at the Yule Ball, Weasley. It's time to pay up." you say, your eyes glinting mischievously as you held out your palm expectantly.
"You and your memory will ruin me, woman." he mutters scornfully, but he gives you a stack of galleons, discreetly nonetheless. You smile victoriously.
"Good to know business is treating the two of you well, Freddie." he smiles and shares a look with George.
"When are you coming to visit the shop, Meadow?" George asks as he uses his wand to slow Ron's polishing down.
"Is that an official invitation, Weasley?" you ask, satisfied with the peace you feel by being in the Burrow again, despite Hermione not being there.
~∞~
Mattheo hates his father with a burning passion. Tom Riddle was a cold, manipulative and tyrannical man who was absolutely not fit for the role of 'dad'. It's ironic, he thinks, that he should have a father who was incapable of feeling love, in all senses of the word. But Tom had loved Mattheo's mother once, in some sick and twisted way. Maybe it wasn't love, but he had a sick devotion for the woman that Mattheo never got to meet. She died after giving birth to the Riddle heir.
When his father was defeated all those years ago, Mattheo was handed off to the first family that bothered to know of his existence. Theodore Nott Senior was even less of a good father, to both him and Theo. But Teddy's mother took on the responsibility of showing them what it is to be kind, loving and compassionate.
That all withered away upon her death when he was only eight years old. It broke him, but it broke little Theo even more to lose the only parent who ever cared for him. Over the years, the well-mannered, inquisitive little boy transitioned into a coldhearted, unfeeling person, but sometimes Mattheo wished that people saw him for who he truely was, instead of the person they painted because of who his father was.
It's the reason he feels so drawn to you, he summises.
Someone who should hate him, someone who should despise him for all that he is, looked past his carefully constructed armour and saw that broken boy within. He wondered how long that would last, when you found out how much of his facade was his true identity. In his eyes, Mattheo was a monster. A carbon copy of his father.
The vast dining room that he found himself seated in felt entirely too small. The atmosphere was ripe with anticipation as the Dark Lord himself stared down at them from his erected throne at the head of the table. Mattheo sat in the seat adjacent to him, as his 'right hand man'. Showing that he would never be anything more than a soldier to his father. Lucius Malfoy sat opposite him, Bellatrix Lestrange in the next seat as she nodded in rapt attention to whatever Voldemort was saying.
The doors to the entrance hall of Malfoy Manor swung open with a slow and menacing creak, inviting Draco to walk in, followed closely by Theo and Enzo.
This is the part of the holidays that Mattheo had been dreading the most.
"Thank you kindly for fetching me our guests, Draco. Please be seated boys, and let dinner be served." Voldemort's hand sweeped through the air and the three chairs beside Mattheo pushed out at their own accord; his friends took the seats wordlessly, Theo seating in the one opposite Bellatrix.
Shortly after, the family's house elves wordlessly clicked their fingers and a feast appeared before them all. Mattheo didn't touch a single piece of food on his plate. Neither did his three friends, his brothers. He was infinitely grateful that Blaise and Pansy were not here. He planned on maintaining that for as long as he possibly could.
After the food, some of which had barely been touched by the hoard of Death Eaters in attendance, had disappeared, Voldemort stood up, towering above them all like an angel of death.
"Now we indulge in my favourite part of the evening." he says, clapping his thin, boney hands together delicately. "Theodore, Lorenzo...please, join me."
He held out his hands, offering the 'stage' to his son's friends. Mattheo had to physically claw at the seat beneath him to refrain from stopping them as they obeyed. Theo's chest shook with uneven breathes and Enzo didn't dare look anyone in the eye. Draco shifted uncomfortably in his seat, unprepared to watch his friends submit to the same fate.
"Who wants to go first?" Voldemort asked the two boys, his snake-like voice coated in something akin to excitement and glee. When neither boy spoke up, he slammed a hand to the table, causing everyone in near viscinity to flinch. A vision of pure psychotic rage paints the monster's face.
"Fine." he snapped. "Mattheo, my son, come up here please."
Mattheo schooled his features and locked any thoughts of his friends, of you, up tight. When he was within reach of his father, Voldemort caressed his shoulders, strong from years of relentless Quidditch training, and whispered, his voice a mere hiss as he spoke in the tongue that only the two of them, and Harry Potter could understand.
Choose. He whispered. Who will go first? Choose and I'll spare you my wrath later.
Mattheo didn't know what to do, he was crumbling in front of his father's loyalist of followers, who were snickering and whispering amongst themselves. The insurmountable feeling of guilt festered in his stomach, a sick feeling persisting in his gut. How could he subject any of his friends to this?
CHOOSE! Or I will hunt down anything you hold dear. That is a promise, boy.
He couldn't let his father know about you. He knew the moment he discovered your abilities, Voldemort would seek you out and trap you with no hope of escape and use you for his own power hungry means. He couldn't let that happen.
"I'll go first." Theo's voice broke through his inner turmoil and Voldemort's sinister smirk travelled to his best friend's face. Theo was masking his terror well, but Mattheo saw right through him. Enzo visibly sagged in relief, no matter how short lived it was. He straightened when Mattheo entered his mind.
Don't show weakness. It'll be over soon, I promise brother. I'm sorry.
He gave an almost imperceptible nod. His features schooled into masked indifference.
"Theodore, my boy." Voldemort crooned. "What a good example you set for our young recruits. So...eager." a dig at Draco, who was yet to make headway in his task. "Come."
He beckoned Theo with a single come-hither motion. Theo moved with poised grace and knelt before the Dark Lord, staring up at the creature with stoney eyes. "Just like your mother." he tutted, and Mattheo clenched his fists tightly, fury painting his veins in vibrant fire. "It's a shame, truely."
Voldemort took hold of Theodore's left arm with bruising force but did the opposite of what Mattheo expected. "Mattheo, come. Since you failed to choose, you will do the honours for me. Mark him."
He began to protest, but Fenrir Greyback was behind him in seconds, pushing him to the ground with brute force. He struggled and fought until his father held a hand that physically stopped the fight with his magic.
"I won't do it." Mattheo spat. "No."
Voldemort's head contorted the way a snake's would when agitated and he shot a singular curse at his son with no hesitation.
Mattheo writhed as the effects of the Cruciatus curse overtook all his senses. Consumed in his agony he failed to acknowledge the sound of his best friends' grunts and screams as their skin was branded with the skull and snake of the Dark Mark, identical to the one festering on his scarred left arm.
There was no saving them now.
But at least Blaise and Pansy were safe in their own manors, not privvy to the price he would eventually pay in exchange for their own freedom and safety.
~∞~
hope everyone had a lovely christmas and a happy nye🫶🏼 thought i'd give you a long chapter by delving into a mattheo pov ;)
i love my degree but sometimes psychology makes me want to rip out my hair🙃🙂
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mrscarmenbearzatto · 3 months
Text
lost in translation | carmen berzatto
you get a job working as a waitress at the bear. if only you knew it would get you here. ─ 3.68k ─ angst and fluff, breakups / fighting, some cursing, reader is younger then carmy.
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THE STRANGERS PHASE
The first time you and Carmen met was when Nat and Richie had hired you as part of the Bear staff. 
A waitress, and a sweet looking one at that. Younger than him. "You guys finally settled on a candidate?" Carmen asks as Natalie and Richie watch you from the small window in the kitchen.
You sit there for a moment before adjusting the silverware, passing Richie's test almost immediately. "I believe we just did." Nat confirms. Carmen takes a look for himself and swears his heart skips a beat as he watches you for a brief moment before clearing his throat, having to pull himself away. "Okay. Cool." He brushes it off.
He didn't get the chance to meet you right away, not until the night before their soft opening. You'd been through training, getting used to the system at the Bear and getting accompanied with staff. All but one. The head chef and owner, 'Carmy' as everyone called him.
"Hey, you're the new hire, right?" A voice asks as you shut your locker. You jump a bit, as you turn, smiling. "I am." The male nods, holding out his hand. "Sorry about scaring you. I'm Carmen Berzatto, don't think we've had the chance to meet." He introduces.
You accept the handshake, swearing you feel a little spark between you two just from touching him.
───
From there, it was like clockwork. You and him would get stuck closing together, and each night you'd dive into a new part of his past. "So, what made you wanna open this place?" You question. He exhales, momentarily pausing his movements of scrubbing the counters before he sniffles. "My brother left it to me after his death."
You pause, staring at him. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have asked-" He laughs. "You couldn't have known. It's okay, really. I actually wanted to work here, or what used to be here, for the longest time by his side but he didn't let me. Never knew why. It was the thing he left me in his will." He gives a more in depth answer.
You nod slowly. "I'm sorry about that, Carm. His death and not letting you work here." You specify as you look at him. "If it's any comfort, I think your brother would be really proud of what you've turned this place into." You say.
He nods, sniffling again. You set your rag back in the soapy water, sighing as you mark off your final station to clean on the clipboard.
"See you tomorrow night?" He asks as you begin walking to the lockers.
You smile. "It's a date, chef." You confirm. He blushes at the idea of you and him being on a date.
───
Carmen swore to himself he'd take you on an actual date. The planning was easy, it was actually asking you that he found to be a challenge.
"So, are you seeing anyone?" He asks, trying to sound as casual as he can the next night when you two are closing, which didn't come for almost a week. Though he was grateful, it also felt like torture having to wait to get you alone.
"No, I'm not actually. Chicago hasn't exactly been my Paris, you know? City of love and all that bullshit." You answer as you stare at the chore list for that night. "Check the mayonnaise labels. Does Nat think our mayo is expired?" You question.
“Nat thinks all of our stuff is expired one way or another. It doesn’t expire ‘till the nineteenth of May.” He grabs out a knife to start chopping the vegetables. “Anyway, Chicago isn’t really known for its romance.” He points out.
"So I've been told." You stare at the menu. "What's a vegetable medley?" You question as you look back up at him, catching him staring at you. He clears his throat and quickly sets the knife down, wiping his hands on a towel. "Uh, it's a bunch of veggies like green and yellow bell peppers, asparagus and squash topped with balsamic vinegar.” He answers.
You nod slowly. “Only you can explain something like that and make it sound so good right now, Carm.” "Did you eat today?" He doesn't hesitate to ask. "Haven't had a chance to. Richie had me running around all day with the new system, but don't worry, I'm gonna make myself something at home."
"No, come on. I'm- You're not driving home hungry like that. It’s a safety risk. Sit." You go to protest before he repeats himself. "Sit."
The entire night was spent with you and Carmen eating his way too fancy dishes and talking. Sharing memories - childhoods, dreams, stories.
He likes to consider it your first date.
You like to consider it the night you fell in love.
───
You weren't sure what you and Carmen were after that night in the kitchen. Or how to even ask. Do you just come right out and say it? Is there a specific way or time to ask? Google provided zero help, so it was up to you to solve this one.
Maybe that’s what was driving you and Carmy apart for the next week: your mind trying to run through how to even approach that with him. It wasn't until he ambushed you at your locker that you were forced to approach the topic with him. "Not talking to you all week has been driving me insane. Are we okay? If dinner was too much.." He lets his voice trail off.
You smile, as you exhale. "Carmen, I loved dinner. I was just unsure of where we stood. Thought I was driving myself crazy trying to figure out if that was a date or not." You admit. He stares at you, nodding slowly. "Let me take you out to an actual dinner. A real date night." He requests.
You nod. "Okay, I'd like that." You barely have another chance to speak before Richie's calling your name. You place a hand on Carmen's shoulder as you pass him, giving him a small smile before you rush to find out what Richie needs you for.
Carmen watches you leave, wishing you'd come back to him.
Carmen had thought of your date night perfectly. A romantic, rooftop dinner overlooking Chicago’s nighttime streets. “You bring all the girls up to your rooftop, Berzatto?” You question as you stare at the cars passing by.
“Only the special ones.” He’d answer with a grin.
You wished he kissed you that night, but he didn’t. Instead he settled for dropping you off at your apartment before leaving. You could tell he wanted to kiss you, too, but he wanted to wait.
"So, you and Carmen?" Sydney asks as you help her open the Bear that morning, cutting vegetables up with her. You sigh, a smile on your face regardless. "How'd you hear about that?" You question in return.
“It’s the Bear. There’s no such thing called secrets when you work here. Everyone knows everything about everyone. Now, you and Carmy?” She asks again as you laugh. “There’s nothing going on between us. He and I got dinner a few times, but I don’t think it’s going anywhere.” You say with a shrug.
She stares at you, noticing the blush in your cheeks. You grin. “Don’t even. Nothing has happened between us.” You reiterate. She laughs, grabbing her bucket of vegetables. "Whatever you say!"
You roll your eyes, turning and staring at Carmen in the doorway. There he goes again, staring at you when you aren't looking. It doesn't slide past you that he has a noticeable sparkle in his eyes.
───
Of course the universe would have it out for you and Carmen to close together that night. As you two stand over the counters, cleaning them down, you decide to ask the question that had been plaguing your mind.
"What are you and I?" You ask, looking up at him for the first time. His scrubbing stops, as he looks back at you. "I want us to be together." He answers honestly, and you're a bit taken back by his honesty.
“You seem like you’ve thought about this.”
“More than you know.” Translation: I’ve thought about you.
You nod slowly as you walk over to the sink, beginning to wash your hands. "I want us to be together, too. I just don't want this to be weird between us because we work together, you know." You voice your concerns as you grab the towel, drying your hands.
You turn, finding him standing behind you. "I don't care if we want us to be together. I want us to give.. us.. a chance." He says, taking your hand in his. You stare at your hands interlocked as you hum. "Carmen."
"Yes?" He asks softly.
"If you don't kiss me right now I might just walk out and not come back." You tease.
He doesn't have to be told twice, and he kisses you like he's been thinking about it. Like he's been needing that. Hands cupping your face, yours finding his waist.
You didn't need much of an answer as to what you and Carmen were after that.
THE LOVERS PHASE
You and Carmen had agreed: the staff didn’t need to know you two were officially dating. If it was important enough to share, sure. But other then that, you two wouldn’t go around publicly announcing it.
Turns out, dating Carmen wasn't much different from being friends with him. Except now you were in the kitchen at two in the morning, slow dancing with him.
It'd started with dinner that night. Him holding you from behind,
Frank Sinatra plays lowly on the radio as he spins you around, with you grinning as you sway with him. “Who taught you to dance, Berzatto?” You question.
“Nat did. Taught me for her wedding. Said if I looked like a fish outta water she’d ban me from the reception.” He answers with a lovesick grin. You laugh, throwing your head back. “Sounds like Nat.”
He smirks. “And who taught you?” He asks in return. You hum as he pulls you closer to his chest, as Sinatra’s ‘The Girl from Ipanema’ plays. “I did. Convinced myself when I was a little girl I'd be like Misty Copeland.” You answer.
He grins. Only two weeks had gone by with him being officially yours, and he was falling in love with you. Maybe that’s why it spilled out as he held you close.
“I love you.” His voice is hushed.
You pulled away only a bit to look at his eyes. Maybe searching to see if they were genuine, if he said what you think he did. "Carmen..." You smile, a laugh coming out. "I love you, too." You repeat it back to him.
"Take the too out. Makes it sound like you're just agreeing." He requests softly, lips brushing barely against yours. You giggle at his plea, but comply anyway. "Carmen, I love you." You say it again, this time it feels more real.
Two weeks in, and you two are in love. If you knew any better, you'd assume you were screwed.
───
"What do you wanna do with your life?" The question startled you as you and Carmen sat on the balcony of your apartment, overlooking downtown Chicago. Buildings illuminating the night sky, car horns blaring every few minutes from the nighttime traffic.
"I wanna open a bar. Maybe go to Los Angeles or New York, just open my own place. You know?" You hold your knees up on the patio chair with you, a cup of tea in hand. "Some dive bar but... fancier. Live music, live entertainment."
He nods slowly, grabbing out his notepad. "Get out of Chicago?" He asks. You laugh. "Pretty much. Don't get me wrong, I love this city. This just.. isn't the plan." You say with a shrug.
"Mm." He says, scribbling something down on the paper. You lean over, staring at it. "What are you drawing, Berzatto?" You question. "Nothin'. It's a surprise, if I show you it now it won't be a surprise." He points out.
You grin as you lean your head back. "Okay. What about you? Is the Bear your final dream?" You question, still looking over at him. He sets the pen down, looking over the skyline. "I don't know. Though until I met you I had all my dreams and goals figured out."
"Don't say it-"
"You're my new dream." He grins, looking over at you. You laugh, rolling your eyes. "That was unbelievably cheesy, Berzatto. I don't know if I can ever look at you the same after that." You tease.
"You don't have to look at me to kiss me." He points out as you roll your eyes, standing up. You give him a quick peck as you open the door, stepping halfway inside. "Don't take too long getting to bed, okay? It's cold out here." You comment.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." He waits until you're fully inside to pull back out the notepad. Sketched on is a logo for a bar, your bar. Your name written in what he imagines is neon lights. 'ANGEL'S BAR'. The way he views you, an angel. His angel.
He hums, standing up and making his way inside, the notepad tucked under his arm. He finds you in the living room, sorting through the mail. “Hey, hey, my old college roommate’s getting married. New York. What a terrifying city.” You laugh as you set the invite down, before his arm wraps around your waist, pulling you down to the bedroom. 
───
Carmen had spent so much time in your apartment that it practically felt like his own. So, the idea of asking him to move in wasn’t totally crazy. His clothes were now hung up in your closet, his cologne and cedarwood soap lingered.
Your relationship with Carmen had grown, so much so that you were now spending time with his family. You stood in the kitchen of the Berzatto home. Your first family dinner with them, and it had been more drama filled then a soap opera. Soft music filled the room, cinnamon roll scented candles lit making the house smell like a bakery. Your scarf hung on the staircase banister. 
"First official Berzatto dinner. How ya holdin’ up?" Sugar asks as she slides beside you, handing you a glass of wine to match her own. "Oh you know me so well. It's going.. as good as I expected it to be. Are they always this chaotic?" You question.
"Hell yes. The Berzatto family has never been calm, y'know?" She laughs. "But you seem to be fitting in nicely. And this is the first year of us doing one of these that Carmen truly seems happy, I think you're to thank for that."
You grin. "Well, as long as he's smiling." You and her watch him in the living room, chasing down the younger family members, laughing as they tackle him down to the floor.
"Yeah, well, I've seen Carmen with other girls before, and none of them have made him this happy. So, on behalf of the Berzatto family, thanks for bringing us a smiling Carmy." She raises her glass to you as you laugh, lifting yours as well.
Carmen watches as you clink glasses with Nat as he enters the kitchen. "You two doing good in here?" He asks. "Oh, we are doing wonderful. I should go find my husband." Nat says, smiling and walking out of the kitchen.
You sigh, setting your wine glass down behind you on the counter. "Hi." He greets, arms wrapped around your waist. You hum, wrapping yours around his neck. "Hey you." You reply, pressing your lips against his.
“I’m really glad you’re here.” He says quietly after he pulls away, placing his forehead against yours, closing his eyes.
You smile, placing a hand on his cheek. “I’m glad too, Carm.”
───
Arguments in relationships are common. They’re healthy, they bring growth. You and Carmen had a fair share of disagreements but never ones where he called you the name he did tonight: clingy. 
“Can you just fucking leave me be for a second?! I don’t need you crowding me and being so- so fucking clingy.” Right in the office of the Bear, as you made sure he understood what was happening with Syd’s plans. 
Now here you were, in Nat’s living room. “He probably didn’t mean it, you know?” She asks softly as she pushes some of your hair out of your face, wiping tears that fall down your cheeks. “I think he’s just been so worried about our mom, her issues and the Bear.”
“What if he did mean it though? What if.. What if he was just with me out of convenience or pity?” You voice your worries. She shakes her head. “I have never seen Carmy as happy anywhere else as he is with you. He loves you, Y/n. He wants to be with you, no one else.” She replies.
“You don’t call the people you love clingy.” You point out. She sighs, letting you lay your head on her shoulder. No matter what she said, nothing changed how you felt. Carmen thought you were clingy. Whether subconsciously or not, he thought it. 
The thought made your heart ache. 
───
You were younger than Carmen, you knew that much from the moment you met him. But it had never been an issue in your relationship, until now it seems. A simple, offhand comment about kids and marriage you had made to Syd. You wanted those things, and you wanted them with Carmy. 
That’s what landed you in this position on a cold night, with him sitting on the armchair in front of you and you on the floor, crouched to try and read his eyes. Find any sign that you could get past this. 
“We’re just on different paths. I shouldn’t have allowed myself to get this close to you. And I should have stopped myself before I hurt you.” Translation: you’re still young and I can’t hold you back.
He didn’t stay after that. His clothes still hung in your closet, with you on the floor of the living room. 
Translation: what now? 
THE ENEMIES STAGE 
“So, plans for you being in New York?” Diane asks as you and her sit on the rooftop of her apartment building. You sigh, as you lean back on your chair. “Drink a lot. Forget my relationship problems in Chicago and hope for the best.” You answer with a nod.
She rolls her eyes. “Come on. You can’t expect to fix your relationship in different states without talking.” She points out as you look over at her. “When did I hire you as a relationship therapist?” You tease. “Carm and I will be fine.” 
You couldn’t find the translation anymore for what “fine” meant. 
───
The wedding was gorgeous. Diane looked stunning and her husband was the sweetest man. The sun was setting over Manhattan, as you sat at the open bar perched on the rooftop. Staring at the missed call from a familiar contact: ‘Chef’s Kiss’. Carmy. 
Maybe you had asked him for too much. Wanting kids, marriage. He’d give them to you if you asked, you knew that. But the idea of him just putting up with that just to keep you? 
You didn’t return his call or any of his texts. Instead, you kept quiet until you returned to Chicago a week later. A box perched on your apartment doorstep with your belongings. Jewelry, shirts you left at his place. All of them except for the scarf that still sat on Donna’s staircase banister.
Maybe he kept it because it smells like you. Or because it reminded him of something pure. The one thing he really knew was now gone, and the scarf was a fragment of that. 
───
It didn’t shock any of the staff at the Bear when you turned in your notice and stopped working there. Or when you took the couch you and Carmy used to sit on during late night conversations and moved it eleven hours with you to New York. Along with his hoodies, the one you wanted to keep most because it smelled like him still. 
You didn’t delete the videos or photos you had with him. It feels too real if you do. 
You stared at the kitchen. Where he used to hold you, scolding you for how you handled knives. The balcony, where he told you that you were his new dream. The living room where he’d kiss you like it was the first time. The bedroom, where some nights, he made you his own, and others he held you while you slept. 
The only thing you found in the apartment that was foreign to you? A piece of notepad paper, with “ANGEL’S BAR” drawn on the front. You stuck that in your pocket as you made your way to your car. 
It hurts to look at. It hurts to think about him. 
Now it’s just you, in your hundred square foot apartment that you share with a roommate now. You manage to delete the playlist of songs that he loved swaying with you to in early mornings in kitchen lights. You learn his favorite melody by heart: stranger, to lovers, to enemies.
─── 
Closing that chapter of your life, you focused more on opening Angel’s Bar. His logo on the front, in downtown New York. Soft piano playing as chatter fills the room, drinks being poured in the corners. 
It may have just been Carmen’s luck to find you on opening night, chatting around with the customers as he watched from the window, a familiar red scarf wrapped around his neck to help fight the cold air.
Translation: it reminds him of innocence. It reminds him of the better part of himself, the one you brought out in him.
Carmen learned to take lessons from break-ups pretty early on into his life. The one he got from you?
“Falling in love isn't for the weak. So don't try it at home.” He closes the book that he was given as an assignment for his AA class.
Maybe you were his favorite melody after all.
𓍢ִ໋🔪 ♡₊˚ 🧣・₊✧
shine on, shine on, my loves!
thank you for reading! please feel free to engage with this post by reblogging, commenting or sliding into my inbox to leave feedback! i appreciate all of you! check out my carmen berzatto masterlist here for more fanfics!
taglist ✨ (to be added please reply to this post in the comments!)
@wabi-sabi1090
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@kpopgirlbtssvt
@urdreamgirl12
@readingwithsass
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- mae
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seat-safety-switch · 2 months
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Recently, I was alerted to the fact that folks are shoving perfectly good playing cards into chunks of plastic and then having those cards valued. That seems like the kind of scam that I would normally be into, but the business is way too crowded. All I know about is cars, and cars already have several "appraisal" scams going on as well. No: where I saw money was in the plastic slab business.
You might not realize this, but making things out of plastic is insanely cheap. It's part of the reason why we're all drowning in little gewgaws and shitty strawberry clamshell containers we can't safely get rid of. Spend a few grand making some moulds, then press cheapo squashed-flat dinosaurs into them for years and years, and sell them at a thousand-times markup.
Me, I don't have "a few grand." I don't even have a grand, most of the time. Actually, I just lied to you (force of habit.) I do have a grand: a Plymouth Grand Voyager with no wheels or suspension. And it's got lots of little enclosed spaces that we could make into low-pressure plastic moulds. After a quick trip to swap some pricetags at the local Hobby Lobby, I was in business pouring huge amounts of high-grade synthetic craft resin into the nether regions of my van. And watching that resin pour right out onto the ground, through the gaping rust holes. Right. Now I remembered why I didn't fix this thing.
Don't worry, though: there's a customer for everything. You see, art buyers are also very interested in speculation that inflates the value of their holdings. And if you wear a different hat when you appraise "modern art in semi-clear epoxy resin," then you can sell that pile of goop on your driveway to someone who surely isn't just using it to launder money for the CIA. Everyone wins! I love the new economy.
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gay-dorito-dust · 10 days
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can you make HSR male character with a dead reader (I LOVE ANGST, I LIVE FOR ANGST).
for the characters, it's up to you, but if possible, please include Blade and Jing Yuan (if this topic makes you uncomfortable, don't do it)
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Sorry for getting to this after so long and if it was shit.
Jing yuan:
It had been a while since your passing and everyone had seemingly forgotten your name and the fact that you had once lived amongst them.
However Jing Yuan didn’t, he refused to let himself forget the hold you once had over on his heart, mind and soul, or how your actions touching him in ways that he didn’t think were possible.
Life had lost its colour and appeal the moment you died and Jing Yuan had no need to feel excitement for things that he did before with you by his side.
The stars looked dull as though they were mourning you alongside him, the flowers you once given him didn’t smell as fragrant nor looked as healthy as they should’ve. Even the street food stalls didn’t seem at all appetising when you weren’t here to practically salivate over, and or give him the biggest pair of pleading puppy eyes over that never failed to elicit a chuckle out of him.
He stayed inside more often than not as everything outside might as well have been casted in black and white to Jing Yuan, with the only remnants being at your grave of which he often found himself sat in front of.
‘You once asks me what my biggest regret would be and I told you that I don’t live life with regrets, which was a lie and you knew it but didn’t speak up about it, whether it was out of respect or otherwise I’ll never know…not now at least.’ He says with a forced smile, the pain within his chest growing ever greater the more he relived your loss. ‘I am burdened with many regrets. Many of which that have threatened to squash with their weight, but loosing you will be my ultimate regret as with you I was starting to believe in forever in this life once more…only for forever to die with you.’ He concludes as he presses his forehead to your headstone and closed his eyes in hopes of feeling your warmth once more.
But all he felt was the cold, unforgiving and hard surface of your headstone as a tear fell from his eye at the reality that all aspects of you were truly gone forever…
Blade:
Your death was a tragedy Blade couldn’t forget.
It was engraved into every corner of his mind where it was made impossible for him to forget.
Even in his torturous dreams he was forced to watch you die in front of his eyes constantly and in the most horrific ways possible, all the while he remained helpless to stop any of it from happening.
Any remnant of you was clutched tightly in his hand under it bled from his nails digging into his skin, but he couldn’t feel it for he had grown numb. He’d even tie a piece of cloth from your clothes to the hilt of his sword or his finger in order to feel you with him wherever he went.
Just like you always wanted.
Blade couldn’t fully dedicate himself to being your partner but he was more than selfish with your attention and affection. He wanted it all. No, he needed it all for himself and gave you nothing much in exchange other than letting you hold onto him and kiss his scars.
He did love you in his own way and was building himself up to actually be your partner properly, only for you to die selflessly in his arms, whispering that’d you loved him before passing on from your wounds.
Blade thought he should’ve been use to death by now but your death hit him in a way that left him desiring death more than normal, in hopes that he could reunite with you and correct his wrong doings when you were alive.
Now and then in moments where Blade was faced with death, he could feel a presence next to him that felt soft, warm and felt very much like the you he was forced to remember…
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whaleofatjme1920 · 8 months
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Task Force 141 with a Small/Flat Chested Reader
[Task Force 141 x F!Reader]
[Warnings: I mean, I talk about tits what more can you expect? It's pretty NSFW, so MINORS GET OUT.]
[AN: iykyk, yk? Anyways. Love the IBTC just bc I think that's cute and I'm in a mood to show this community love <3]
Reblogs are appreciated!
Captain John Price
I think he has a slight size kink, not too big but small tits play into it. Yes ofc he loves all tits but small tits just look so lovely to him. If you wear any bras or whatever, he's staring for the outline. The same thing if you don't wear anything, he might catch a glimpse of your nipples poking through and he likes that. Won't outright say it though.
Loves whenever you wear low necklines, like v necks, scoops, things that show off your chest.
If you wear long necklaces that dip in between? ohohoh. He can't help but stare and whisper the dirtiest things in your ear.
I think he really liked to hug you from behind and playfully rub his hands upwards from your stomach to your chest.
Isn't it cute how his whole hand can envelop them? He really likes to grope you. Especially laying in bed and he spoons you, hands come up? Boom, gotta grab the titty.
Absolutely feral over them. Any insecurities get washed away by how much he wants to touch you and how he compliments you.
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
I feel like he's a huge thigh guy but your tits are pretty hot to him. Thinks they're super elegant with the way they fit in certain clothes.
He stares. He cannot stop staring. He's feel his face heat whenever you catch him and he covers it in the dorkiest ways possible.
Idk I feel like he's really,,,, silly? With the way he loves your tits. Can't really explain it but just know he's kinda silly.
I think he loves to rest his head on your chest and take naps. But he'll also start kissing just to get you flustered.
He gets pretty sad if you get sad or feel any self doubt over your tits. He really loves how they fit you and how they look once clothes come off.
He has a special love for whenever you wear cute bras or bralettes, whatever makes you happiest I guarantee he's in love with.
Johnny "Soap" MacTavish
He's super immature about the way he loves your tits. Like, wolf whistles whenever you wear something a little more revealing, makes raunchy comments, it's gotta make you bashful because he thinks that's cute.
Love love loves to suck on your nipples. Like, I don't know he strikes me as a strong titty guy and small tits make him feral.
He'll bite gently because his bitemarks on your tits make him blush. Big on squeezing and generally worshipping that part of your body. And like Gaz, he just LOVES to stare.
Though I think he doesn't actually like the long necklaces? And it's not that he doesn't like that but rather he thinks they detract from your chest just a bit.
He's the world's best hype man. Feeling insecure? Societal standards telling you that you need more? No worries, he's gonna squash all of that in a heartbeat.
You ever see that one vine that was like, 'take them titties out bc I'm trying to see them?' He's,,, the embodiment of that. Good luck ever wearing a shirt for more than a few hours around him when you're relaxing together at home.
Simon "Ghost" Riley
yeah idk about you guys but I think Ghost has HUGE size kink. And to be fair, he kinda looms over everyone but your small tits really put his size kink into high gear.
He's always going to be cupping, rubbing and sucking your tits or at least dreaming about the moment he can again. Loves having you underneath him so he can watch your chest rise and fall, see every part of you but focus on your nipples especially.
He likes how you look in outfits as well, they accentuate your body and make you look gorgeous to him. Also a big fan of necklines that go low. But he also enjoys knowing he's the only man who can touch you there.
Loves when you lay on top of him to cuddle. Something about your chests pressed together is intimate and romantic to him? He wouldn't call it romantic, more like relaxing. He likes physical touch but it takes a while to get there.
Thinks aesthetically, that you're gorgeous. I think he sketches in his spare time, I can't actually remember if that was,,, confirmed or not? maybe I'm hallucinating but he sketches in his spare time and he's drawn your chest before.
He thinks you're beautiful. No part of you needs to change or bend to societal pressures. Insecurity tends to melt away when you're with him because he just... gets you. Knows what to say and how to say it in such a way that it's comforting and sweet.
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oreharuuu · 9 months
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A Glimpse of Mercy
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Summary: The boy you once knew from your small town has changed. But has he really change from his past? Or did he hide everything from you since the beginning?
Pairing: yandere!san x reader
Warnings: yandere behaviour obvi, obsessive behavior, graphic description, dark themes, cursing
Word count: 10.8k
A/N: umm hi? pls forgive me for not updating in a WHILE. i didn't forget about this acc i promise, just had a lot of stuff going on and ofc i still love our boys <3 hope y'all like this long ass oneshot, pray for the hongjoong one to finish quickly as well :' thx u for everyone for the support and comments while im away
Tags: @starillusion13 @cqndiedcherries @wooyoungjpg @miriamxsworld (comment below if u want to be in the permanent tags!)
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The cold gush of wind hits you like a ton of bricks as you exited your school, shivering as you tried to keep yourself warm by hugging yourself. You eyed the numerous students chattering away with their friends, making you look around to search for your friend in the midst of the unknown faces.
When you spotted your friend, Iseul, near the entrance gate, you slowly walked towards her before stopping yourself. You smirked when you noticed the tall boy she's been talking for the past few months, quickly snapping a photo before walking away, wanting to not disturb their moment.
You sighed when you walked quietly to where you parked your bike, buying bungeoppang near the market before eating it as you observe the quiet atmosphere. Your small town just outside of the city was nothing special nor exciting, that's why almost everyone moved out when they can. A few stayed as to live with their family, but only a few instances such as yourself, living with your mother and aunt.
Iseul wants to get out of this 'shit hole' as she deems when she graduates high school, already applying for a scholarship. You on the other hand, can't even imagine yourself in the future on what you could possibly do. Your mother never went to the city, only working as a farmer. Your aunt did go, going to university to get a degree yet she can't even get any work after graduating, getting paid as a bartender before she quits to help your mother.
Deep down, you're scared of failure. Your whole life you're only a mediocre student, good yet not astounding grades and not having a big social circle like Iseul. You can't imagine going to the city to actually live there for a few years just to be met with failure when you can't even get a job, thus making you move back to your old town.
That sounds like a nightmare.
Forcing yourself out of the bad thoughts, you jogged to where your bike is, before stopping yourself when you notice the broken chain. You groan loudly, looking around to find the culprit only to find no one standing near you.
You placed the half eaten bungeoppang inside your bag, assessing the broken chain as you tried to think on what to do. This bike was your only transportation. Sure, you could use the bus but you're already so low on money that you'd rather risk walking by foot to school everyday.
You sighed, perking up at the sound of the bus stopping near you, the temptation of going home and leaving the old bike here is already growing. But you squashed that feeling when you remembered that it's your mother's bike.
The sound of quiet footsteps reached your ears, you glancing back before making eye contact with a boy. He seems startled, quickly moving around before walking back the opposite of you. He's around your age, maybe he knows one or two things about how to fix the bike.
"Hey, school boy! Can you help me?"
The boy stopped in his tracks while you wait for him to do anything. Thankfully, he walks back to where you're crouching, eyes downcast as he moved the plastic bag containing...oranges? To his other hand.
The boy seems familiar, his uniform shows that he's another student from a school nearby yours. The red scarf hides almost half of his face, only his sharp cat like eyes showing to you.
"Can you help me?" You asked, noting how the boy's ears turned slightly red before shaking his head. You sighed, standing up as you looked at the bike with frustrated eyes. You glanced at boy once more, finding him staring the broken chain a bit too hard. You look away, hiding the amused smile growing on your face.
"—fix it."
"Eh?" You asked, not hearing what he said clearly. "What did you say?"
"I think I can fix it."
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"Thank you for your help," You say as the both of you walked side by side, your bike now temporarily fixed. "I can't imagine leaving the bike there on its own. I mean, it's my mom's bike after all but still! It's really old and I think we should buy another one...maybe."
You secretly glanced at the boy, not sensing any noise of acknowledgement or any head nod towards what you've just said. You pursed your lips, softly nudging his shoulder with yours. "You don't want to talk to me, huh?"
The boy's eyes only widens slightly, before looking down. You huff playfully before you remembered you haven't even asked his name. "Hey, what's your name? My name is (name)!"
You waited for any response from him, sighing in disappointment when he didn't say anything back. You stopped when you've reached your house, the boy stopping as well as he nervously looks back and forth between you and the house.
You're yelling internally deep down, wanting the awkward moment to end. Maybe the boy's too shy, and you feel bad for forcing him to talk when you just met him a few hours ago.
"Soo, thanks again. I'll just...go home now," You say as you slowly walk with your bike in tow, closing your eyes in embarrassment at the interaction. Hurried footsteps stopped you in your tracks, eyes widening when the boy placed one of the oranges inside your hand.
"San," He utters gently. "My name is San."
You smile softly at him, but before you could say anything, San walks away with hurried steps. "Nice to meet you, San! Thank you for helping me!" You scream loudly, giggling when you see San glancing back and forth at you.
When San disappeared from your sight, you continued your walk towards your house, the slight dirt from the orange makes you question as to why San even had dirty oranges in the first place.
Entering your house, you notice how quiet it is, your mother's slippers nowhere in sight nor your aunt's running shoes. You shrug to yourself before entering the kitchen, placing the singular orange near the fruit basket your mother received from her friend. Noticing the small note on top of an old takeout your aunt probably ordered two days ago, you assume that's going to be your dinner.
A normal occurrence in your household is your mother staying with her friends if she's not working, probably to talk and gossip. Your aunt is a different story though, you never know what exactly she's doing on her free time, and she never really told you either. So you kept quiet and let her be. She's an adult after all.
Heating up the food and eating it alone in the living room whilst watching TV was also a normal occurrence for you. You're used to it because ever since you're young, your mother rarely ate dinner. She doesn't really like eating anyways, especially inside a house that holds a reminder of her past.
Your aunt sometimes joined in, asking you here and there about school or maybe reminiscing about her old life in the city. Either way, it usually ends up with her drinking away her regrets.
You shivered, clicking your tongue when the kitchen window was slightly open. It's already getting dark, the only lights you see are the ones from the nearby house or you could say mansion, by how big it is compared to the other houses in town.
You remembered San walking towards the mansion's direction. Maybe he lives there? You never really see anyone besides two men, but you did overheard your mother one day about a woman supposedly living there.
Placing down your food on the small foldable table, you turned on the prehistoric TV that's probably already there before you're born. You didn't find anything interesting though, so you picked a random news channel before eating your food.
A few hours into eating, a small knock came from your front door, making you pause from peeling the orange San gave. You glanced at the clock, too early for your mother and aunt to come home. Plus they never knock anyway.
"Coming!" You yelled, slowly walking towards the entrance before opening the door slowly. Surprise is probably written all over your face when you see San standing there, his gaze flickers down when he notices you staring at him.
"San?" You questions. "A bit of a surprise visit, don't you think?"
"Sorry, I—Uh, if you don't like me here—"
"Nonsense! What's up?"
His posture became tense, so you glanced down at the plastic bag he's holding tightly. A bit too tight in your opinion.
"I-I need a place to eat, my house..."
"Your house?"
"It's, um, not a good place to eat right now," San finishes, looking up towards where the big mansion is located.
Turns out you're right all along.
"Oh, you live there?"
"Yeah, but I can't stay there right now."
"Can I ask why? You don't have to answer me if you're not comfortable, of course," You gently added, not wanting San to feel pressured. He shrugs, shifting from one foot to another. "Just some stupid argument between my father and...my uncles."
You hum, glancing back at your house before finally deciding. "Yeah, sure, you could eat at my house." You hold back a smile when you notice San's slumped posture turned straight right away, as if he's not expecting you to say that. "R-Really? I can eat here?"
"Sure, but my house is a bit cramped because of junk. If you want, we could eat at the veranda. Not to brag or anything but the view is beautiful."
San lets out a small smile, tilting his head which made your heart squeeze at how cute he is. "Really? I never really notice."
"Meh, it's something," You shrug, opening the door wider, inviting San to follow you inside. "Come on, my food's getting cold."
San nods hesitantly, murmuring a small 'excuse me' before slipping out of his shoes before he just stands there, waiting for you to walk first. You giggle at him, showing him where the veranda is before excusing yourself to grab your food.
"Pretty, right?" You ask as you sat down besides him, looking out towards the view of the city. Your house is located a bit further than the city, your house shows the perfect view of the small number of lights the city shows. It's somewhat calming to you, mix that with the sounds of cicadas and you have the perfect night to just clear your mind.
"Yeah, it's calming."
You hum, glancing as San takes out a small container, pulling out a sandwich before eating it in silence. You followed suit, offering small bites of food to him when you notice he only brought his sandwich. "Did you make it yourself?"
"No, my...eomma made it."
Noticing the tense tone in his voice, you only hum in acknowledgement before continuing to eat. It's nice to have someone eating with you, the silence isn't uncomfortable, both of you appreciating each other's presence in silence. It's kinda funny to you that you're comfortable enough to invite a boy you just met a few hours ago. Then again, it's partially because your mother nor aunt is here to bother you.
"Thank you for letting me eat here," San quietly says, playing with his fingers nervously as he waits for your response.
"It's fine. I quiet like having someone here to eat with," You smile. "Plus, you're a good company. Well, better than my mother and aunt anyway."
"Really?" San sounds excited, before he coughs as he looks away, his cheeks red with embarrassment. "Sorry! That sounds rude of me—"
You laugh, patting his back in a friendly manner. "No, no, it's fine. I'm thinking the same thing as you."
You didn't notice how red his face is after you patted his back, but he did let out a small laugh, joining you before you both fell silent once again.
"Do you, uh, do you mind if I could eat here? Not always! Just when...home gets a bit too tiring," He asks, looking at you with hopeful eyes that it almost made you want to ask what exactly is going on in his house.
"Sure, but it's better if no one's here except me. My mother will deny any visitors this late at night while my aunt will just ask us about anything to annoy us."
San lets out a small laugh, which made you smile as you notice the dimple on his face. He really has a nice smile. "Alright, I'll keep that in mind."
"How 'bout this," You say. "We exchange phone numbers, you'll text me if you have a situation, and we'll agree on where to meet up to eat together. Maybe we could eat somewhere else if my mother and aunt are here."
San nods enthusiastically, shyly grabbing his phone before you enter your phone number. "So, we got a deal?" You offer your hand to shake hands with him.
"Deal," He smiles, grabbing your hand gently before shaking it. Inside your mind, you hope whatever relationship you have with San will last longer than whatever you had in the past. Deep down, you want to have someone else besides Iseul to hangout with. But you've never had the chance, until now.
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Fast forward a few months, you and San are still going with the promise. It's nice to have someone to talk too, even though San usually just sits there and listens to you. You felt bad to be the only one talking, since you mostly tell stories about your family and Iseul. San tells you that it's fine, he didn't mind one bit that you're the only one talking.
You did ask him once about his family. Yet the tense posture and tone made you realize just how uncomfortable San is on about his family. So you never asked about it to him again.
Turns out, you and San are in the same year, but he's in another school that's considered by your school the 'enemy'. Probably because of the football feud both of the school has. But you didn't mind, the feud is mostly contained to the football team.
Iseul asked you about San one day, claiming that there's a boy from another school that's been hanging out around the school recently. And she's shocked to see you know about the boy.
"Choi San? He's in our year? He looks younger though!"
"Yeah, that's what I first thought as well. But he claims he's in our year," You shrugged, playing with one of the dolls Iseul has on her bed.
"Mystery solved! I was wondering why he's wandering around our school anyways."
"What do you mean?" You curiously asked Iseul. So far you've never encountered San around your school, only bumped into him once when you're buying groceries after school.
"Well, Jihwan told me that he's been seeing a boy from the other school a few times. He thought the boy was in the football team but he's never seen him before."
You hum, thinking back from the conversations you had with San. "No, I don't think he plays football. He likes drawing, so I guess it's not his style."
"Ooo, an artist," Iseul cooed.
"Oh, shut up!" You whine, playfully shoving Iseul before each of you grabbed a pillow before proceeding to hit each other with it. It felt nice hanging out with Iseul again. Although you did feel a bit weird after coming here, like there's someone staring at you.
You dodged the pillow Iseul throws when you catch a glimpse of black moving outside of her window. You frown before walking closely to the window, opening it slightly to see nothing outside.
"Why? What's wrong?"
You turned back to her, already sensing her panic rising when her tone wavered from your hard stare. You quickly masked it with a smirk, not wanting Iseul to hyperventilate just from a shadow. "Ha! Did I get you? You're so easy to scare."
"Asshole!" She screeched before pouncing on you, tickling your sides as you tried move away from her grasp. The squealing laughter from Iseul made you not realize the snapping of a branch outside, nor the figure running away into the darkness.
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"San? Is that you, boy?"
San flinched, slowly looking towards the source of the voice, finding a man sitting in the darkness. San noticed the red stains covering his shirt right away, the man slowly wiping a bloody knife clean.
"Yeah. It's me, appa."
"Where were you, huh? You made Seokjin all worried," The man pointed towards a closed room. But from the screams emanating inside the room, it's obvious his other father is inside with his...mother.
"Sorry. I was out helping a friend."
"A friend?" The man, Taecyeon, whistled with a smirk. "Don't tell me you've found a girl to fuck?"
San felt annoyance rising inside his body at how his appa talked about you, but he composed himself as he shakes his head. "No, a friend wanted me to help them with their homework." He lied through his teeth.
Another man, Byungho, typing away in the darkness, chuckles lowly as he blew a puff of his cigarette. "Yeah, whatever you say, kid. Go wash up, you don't have school tomorrow. We need to train for your first mission! How exciting is that?"
San nods as the two men laughs, Taecyeon ushering San away so they could start training. San ignores as the screaming intensifies, throwing his school bag carelessly as he huffs. He glances at the lone picture hanging on his wall.
Five men. One woman. One boy.
His appa is Taecyeon, the so called leader of the assassin group. The others? San only calls them as his uncles, even though he knows they're all not really related. Seems like almost all of them owes something to his appa, but they stick together throughout the years for some reason.
His eomma is a mystery. San notices very early how different they are. He has no similarities to his eomma nor appa. But that really didn't matter, he loves his eomma nonetheless. Yet the abuse she suffers everyday makes him wonder why she hasn't run away when she's usually all alone in the house when they're all busy.
His eomma only smiles tight when he ask her about this, changing the topic swiftly that it made San feel guilty. So he tries to be the good son that his eomma always dreams off.
"Sannie?"
San whips his head towards the now open door, his eomma hiding half of her face with it. But he always notice the blood and bruises anyway.
Always.
"Appa's already waiting for you. Why don't you go wash up so he doesn't get mad at you? Hm?"
"Okay, eomma."
San watches as the door slowly closes, making him sigh as he cracked his neck to ease the tension. He needs to be careful after almost getting caught by you. He's training as an assasin like his appa for God's sake! He can't even walk quietly without you noticing.
What a loser.
Maybe he does need the extra training his appa suggested. Sure, it could be useful for missions in the future. But what's most important is so that he could always be with you without you noticing.
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"Hey, did you hear the news?"
You hum, doodling away on your notebook as your teacher excused himself to the toilet. "What news exactly?"
"You know Mr. Huang? The one who lost his child a few years ago?"
"Yeah, I know him."
"He's dead," Iseul whispers. "Like...murdered. Not because of some natural death, literal murder!"
You frown, looking at Iseul with concerned eyes. "Iseul, how do you even know that?"
She shrugs. "I heard from the lady next door. Said that police from even outside of the city came here because of how gruesome it is."
"Wow, that bad?"
"Real bad," She mumbles. "My dad told me to stay away from the area since apparently the government is handling it."
"Wait, what about his wife? Is she—you know, dead?"
Iseul thinks silently for a few seconds, before shaking her head. "Not that I know of. The lady did told my mom that Mrs. Huang survived the whole ordeal, but she hasn't woken up yet."
"Poor woman. Already losing a son and now her own husband," You grimaced at the thought.
Rumor has it, both Mr. And Mrs. Huang's son was kidnapped in an apparent ransom act. But when they paid the money, their son never came back to them. Some say he's dead, even Mr. Huang. But a few still holds hope that the boy is still alive to this day, and Mrs. Huang apparently still believes that.
People gossip about how her son's room stayed untouched for the past few years. How Mrs. Huang once went mad at her own friend when they entered the room without permission. Soon after, her mental health started declining, making her stay at home most of the time.
"—from your lover boy?"
"Huh?" You snapped out of your head. "What did you say?"
"I said—have you heard from lover boy?"
"Shut up, Iseul. And no, I haven't heard from him for the past few days."
"You really should just visit his house," Iseul remarks softly as Mr. Kim entered the classroom again. "Didn't you say his house's near you?"
You never really say this to Iseul, not even San. But you did once visit his house to ask for his whereabouts. The result? Only a blank stare from the woman who answered the door. Her makeup barely covers the bruises marking her face, making you realize why San didn't want you to find out what's happening inside his house.
"Yeah, maybe I'll go after school," You replied back, knowing deep down you're hesitant to even step onto his family's land ever again.
Biting into the juicy meat, you hum happily as you munch on the braised beef your mother cooked a few hours ago. Your aunt is watching TV, laughing away on some random game show you haven't heard off. Your mother ate silently across you, her eyes empty as usual before she softly coughs to get your attention.
"(Name)? Have you ever stepped foot to the Choi's residence?"
You stopped chewing, looking towards your mother where she holds a grimace. "Um, no. I've never—"
"Answer me truthfully, girl."
Sheesh, she's really mad. Your mother rarely says that to you, only when she meant serious business only.
"I have. But only once! After that, I've never went there again."
Your mother hums, her grimace gone, changed into a more somber expression. "From now on I forbid you to go there, okay?"
"But—"
"No buts," She glares at you. "I don't care what's happening inside of that house, but what I do care is about your well-being."
You huff. "Why are you like this anyway?"
"Something happened. A few police came to the house this afternoon asking about the certain people living there. Turns out it's about the case of Mr. Huang, they suspect the killer—or killers— are living inside of that house right now."
Your eyes turned wide, mouth hanging open as your mother clicked her tongue before closing your mouth with her hand. "Don't do that. It's disgusting."
"Wait, hold on—what do you mean suspects? Are they suspecting everyone there?" You ask. Is this why San hadn't replied back to you?
She only shrugs. "As far as I know, the police are still investigating it. But...they have a strong evidence against the people living there."
"Strong evidence?"
"No clue. They didn't tell me anything again. What they did tell me though," Your mother paused her chewing as she thinks of her next words. "Is that whoever killed Mr. Huang was not only one person."
"A group then?"
Your mother shrugs. "Maybe. They're trying to find some of the stolen goods from his house, like jewelry and expensive items. And police started to search here when they got a tip from someone that one of Mr. Huang's expensive vases were found outside of the house."
God, this only made you more panicked as you tend to overthink about every little thing. San not replying to your texts, him disappearing for a few days. And apparently he's living with murderers? Then again, this should not surprise you ever since your first and last visit to the house.
"Go to sleep," Your mother tells you as she cleans the table. "You still have school tomorrow."
You can't even talk back to your mother, saying that tomorrow's Saturday, but you follow her order nonetheless. Too busy thinking about San in your head.
Entering your room, you softly closed the door only to be surprised by a hand covering your mouth. You scream loudly yet the person behind you shushed you gently. "Please, (name), be quiet."
San?
"San? What the fuck?" You whisper aggressively as he slowly drops the hand from your mouth. You gasp when you're met with the sight of him being bruised and bloody, his eyes tired as his posture turned from tense to weak.
"Oh my—what happened?!"
"Um, can I sit first? I don't think I can't stand much longer."
You quickly usher him to sit on a pillow you throw haphazardly on the floor, pointing at him with hard eyes as you open the door. "Wait here. Don't move. You need to answer questions first before you're off the hook."
He sheepishly smiles, giving you a thumbs up. "Sure, I'll wait here."
You exited your room quietly, walking slowly towards where your mother kept a small first aid kit near the bathroom. Placing it under your arm, you notice your mother and aunt are too busy doing their own thing. You took this advantage to walk quickly to your room, closing the door and locking it before you turn to San.
"First question, how did you get into my room?"
"Um, the window was opened and your mother's here. So I just—" San motions towards the open window, making you huff as you closed the window shut before covering it with the curtains.
"Second question, what the fuck happened to you?"
"It's...a long story."
"We've got time." You glare at him. "Tomorrow's Saturday, so talk."
San lets out a small laugh before he quiets down, nervously playing with his bruised hands as you sat down in front of him. "I'm very private on family matters. I don't want anyone to find out about it, but let's just say I reached a breaking point when I discovered some...new informations."
You pause, before dabbing one of his cuts with curious eyes. "New informations?"
He eyes you silently, the silence didn't really made you uncomfortable, but his gaze did things to you. You've never been this close to him, usually him keeping a distance whilst you respect the boundaries he put.
"I don't want to tell you any of it."
"Can I ask why?"
He hissed when you clean the cut near his eyebrow, apologizing quietly as you continue to work on his wounds. "Do you know what happened to Mr. Huang?"
You frown and eyed San with suspicion, dropping your hand towards your lap as you nodded. "Yeah, I'm sorry what happened to him and his wife. I heard she's still alive."
San sighs, quickly rubbing his eyes as you notice the lone tear escaping. "Yeah, I'm sorry for him too."
"Why are you crying for a man you don't even know?"
He stayed quiet, looking away before he glances at you with hurt in his eyes.
"Why? What's wrong?" You whisper, hesitating to hold his hands.
"(Name), I'm a killer."
Your heart dropped, eyes wide as you tried to comprehend what he just said to you. "W-What? You're joking, right?"
San shakes his head silently, still eyeing you with his hard gaze. You laugh nervously, inching yourself away from him as he stayed in place.
"Choi San, this better be a joke. And if it is, it's not funny!"
He sighs, grabbing something out of his pocket before slowly sliding it towards you. "What do you see?"
It's a ring, and it looks pretty expensive from its appearance. "A ring?"
"Look closer."
You silently move closer towards it, eyeing it suspiciously as San snorts. "Why aren't you touching it?"
"Because I don't want to, San! Ever think of that?"
You huff, eyeing the ring on the floor before you noticed a hint of dark red on the ring. You bit your lip, glancing at him as you pointed towards it. "Is that—is that what I think it is?"
"You mean blood? Yeah, it is. But that's not what I want you to see. Look closer, inside of the ring."
His nonchalant response should've made you bolt the fuck out of your room, but you cast away the fear, moving closer again towards the ring.
And that's when you notice it.
A small carving inside of the ring. Initials.
'H.J'
It quickly clicks to you as to who owned the ring.
Huang Jeongcheol. The man who just got killed.
You stand upright quickly, already moving towards the door when San grabs you by the waist. Holding his hand towards your mouth, he shushed you gently as you scream and bite at his hand.
He placed you on your bed, pinning your hands with only one of his hands. You wonder to yourself, has San ever been this strong? From his appearance, you don't want to sound mean, but he looks like a normal school boy who doesn't like to workout nor doing sports.
"(Name), please listen to me. I know you're scared of me right now, but please listen to me. I'm begging you right now to please believe me because after this...I don't think we'll meet again for a long time."
You stare at San with distrust, but you can't help but feel a tad bit of sadness when he looks so dejected at you.
"The family that I know all my life—lied to me," He started. "They used me, trained me to be their apprentice, to kill people."
San looks away, closing his eyes for a moment before looking back at you. "They're not my real family. They never have. Especially after what they've pushed me through, to kill my own father."
You frantically move your head, allowing his hand to move away. "W-What? What do you mean?"
"I've always wondered why Mr. Huang cried at me when I stepped forwards to kill him. I just...did what the others did—kill them to get rid of the evidence," San whispers.
"But then, I started to get uneasy at seeing the house. How it all felt...familiar. And when I saw myself with them in pictures, when I was young—" San laughs wetly, tears running freely down his face. "—I knew, I instantly knew that I just killed my father. My own biological father! I thought I was hallucinating all of it but then I saw how the little boy is wearing my favorite jacket. The one that I own! I can't, I just—"
"Woah, San, calm down," You whisper as his breath became more erratic. You slowly raised his hand towards his chest, allowing the other one placed against your own. "Follow my breathing, good, that's it. Breathe in and out slowly."
"I can't stay here anymore," He whispers after his breathing became normal again, making you frown in confusion. "I killed one of them," He interrupts you. "I told him to tell me the truth, yet he persist that I'm better living with them. And that my father, my biological one, deserved to die."
You're lost for words, you don't even know what to say to him. You only hold his hand tighter as a sign of comfort. But you don't know if you're actually comforting him or yourself.
"I need to go, (name)," He slowly stands up, moving closer to your window to peek between the curtains. "It's not safe for me to be here after what I did. Especially for you."
"F-For me?"
"Yes," He stares at you with hard eyes, yet you can see how his eyes glisten with tears. "I can't let them hurt you. You—I care for you. I appreciate all of the nights we hung out, talk about stupid things and our dreams away from this small town. I want you to achieve your lifelong dream, but that can't happen when you're always the target of a group of killers."
"Why am I a target?" You ask with a quivering tone, fright creeping up on you as San looks on to you with pity. "Please, San. Tell me. Why am I the target?"
"Because they know I'm always here every night."
You can't stop the whimper coming out of your mouth, yet you remember your mother and aunt are still outside. You cry silently with your hand covering your mouth, kneeling to the ground as your breath became erratic.
"Am I going to die? I don't want to die, I can't die, San. I'm scared," You sob silently, crying even harder when he puts your face to his shoulder, his hands holding you tightly as you weep more and more.
"I know," He whispers, tucking your hair back as he hugs you tighter. "That's why I need to lure them away from this town. I don't need any of them in town."
"What? What about your mother?"
San pursed his lips, looking away as he sighs. "I was too late. I can't...protect her."
"Isn't she in the hospital?"
San shakes his head slowly, grasping your hand in his as he exhales a shaky breath. "I was too late, they reached her first."
You bit your lip as you imagined the only blood related family San has now is already dead. You flinched slightly at his hand brushing the tears away from your face, the hand slowly moving your face towards him as he pecks your mouth. A light one, but you've never kissed a boy—or really anyone—before.
You gasp in surprise, finding San smiling softly at you as he placed his forehead to yours. "I love you, (name). I don't know when or where, but I hope we'll meet again soon. Promise you'll wait for me?"
You closed your eyes, holding his hand tighter as a sign of promise. "I will. I'll wait for you."
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The cold wind hits your body roughly, making you hug your thin coat tighter as you weave your way between people to get to your apartment. Readjusting the mask you open the building door as you nod towards the owner of the building, an old man who likes to smoke at late hours.
He nodded back before you walked slowly towards your designated floor. You avoid making eye contact with your neighbor, ignoring his staring as he waters his plants.
Such a weird habit. Who waters their plants at night?
Closing and locking the door, you sigh loudly as you pulled the mask from your face, brushing your hair away from your face as you lazily throw your shoes near the door.
So much has happened in the past five years.
Well, not that interesting to be honest in your life. Ever since he left.
San quickly left after the promise you've made to him, you staring at his back as he walks towards the darkness. Never to be seen again.
You've held on to the hope of him returning maybe for a year. Going about your day, ignoring the whispers from people around you about the murders and a missing boy. Paranoia started to slowly grow because of what he said to you, about being possibly killed.
Before you realized that it's all an empty promise and lies.
Then again, you were both young so you can't really blame younger you.
As for older you, or yourself currently, you're now living in the big city! Sure, you may be having a bit of a trouble handling money for university, having to work two part time jobs while studying, living in a small shitty apartment; but you're alive at least. And that's what matters.
Kicking what seems to be paper, you picked up two envelopes, one familiar and one you didn't recognize. You decided to shower first, grimacing at your sweaty skin as you quickly entered the bathroom.
Grabbing the convenient store bento on your way home, you smile as you open the first letter from your mother. Your relationship kinda got better when you left, feeling that deep down your mother missed you. She's just awkward on showing it to you.
Now, the other letter.
It's more high quality, more smaller than the one your mother sent. You looked for any names or address, but nothing. You chewed as you opened the letter, finding a small written letter.
Hello. You might not recognize me now, but I'm finally at a place where I feel I've accomplished enough to ensure your safety. I'll see you soon.
You frowned, looking at the back of the letter to see if there's anymore writing. When you see none, you folded the paper back to its envelope before chucking it towards the mess that is your desk.
A lone paper slips past you, probably from the envelope. You grabbed it only to get more confused and creeped out because it's a drawing.
Of you.
Tossing the drawing alongside the rest of the letter, you contemplated on what to do.
You don't know who it is, probably the letter was sent to a wrong address or it's someone messing with you. Then again, you don't really know whoever would waste their precious time on you anyways.
Cracking your neck with a sigh, you continued to eat before deciding to sleep in for the night. You're not that busy tomorrow, only a few classes and one part time schedule at the convenience store. You laid down, charged your phone, and closed your eyes as you waited for sleep to come by, waiting for tomorrow for you to repeat the same cycle.
"Hey, (name)," Your coworker, Chaemin, greeted with a tired smile as you nodded back in greeting. "I'll go change, wait here."
You hum, standing behind the cashier as you waited for him to finish. Nothing much happened today. Classes went by as normal, a few friends invited you to a party but you sadly declined as you're now working, and that's it.
Entering the staff's room as Chaemin exited, he bid you goodbye as you changed into your uniform. Grabbing your phone before exiting, you held back a yawn as you sat down behind the cash register, looking around the dead and empty convenience store. You don't expect much customers this late at night so you proceeded to play a new game on your phone.
Not long after, a ding was heard indicating a new customer, making you glance up, eyebrows raised in confusion as to who just entered.
A man, wearing a dark grey three piece suit, holding a briefcase as he slowly walks towards the drink isle. Who wears black gloves anyways?
Not something you would see this late at night, but it's better than some drunkards yelling profanities all around. You realized you're staring too hard on the man, flicking your gaze towards your phone once more as slow steps rang throughout the store.
"Excuse me?"
"Y-Yes?" You replied back with surprise, not expecting the man to talk. You noticed the man smiling as he holds the drink in his hand, smiling slightly making you notice the small dimple on his cheek.
He's pretty handsome, you'll give him that.
"Is this the 'buy one get one' drink promo?"
"Yes, but you can only buy the same flavour to get the promo, sir."
"Sir? Do I really look that old to you?" He chuckles softly, grabbing the drinks and continue to look around to grab snacks.
You scratched your head in embarrassment. "O-Oh, sorry. Just formalities and all for me, you know?"
The man hums, walking towards the you as he placed the small basket on the counter before smiling at you. "No worries, don't be scared. Just jokin' with you."
You smile politely, scanning the items before stating the price, accepting the cash as you tried to ignore his hard stare at you. Sure, he's handsome and all but he's just a passing customer that you'll soon forget in a few days. Besides, nothing exciting ever happens to you anyway.
You waited for the man to go away, surprise in your eyes as he slides one of the drinks to you. You looked up to him, pointing at the drink. "Um, what's this?"
"A treat."
"For?"
He shrugs with a smile, "Just something to make your day better."
"Alright...thank you?"
"You're welcome," He replies softly, grabbing the plastic bag that seemed so out of place with the rest of his outfit. As he exited the store, you squinted your eyes when you saw a flash of red splatter behind his suit.
You sighed heavily, rubbing your eyes in frustration and tiredness. You really do need to fix up your schedule or you'll pass out anytime soon.
Blood?
You thought that one encounter was going to be the last time you'll ever see the man. That's what you had in mind as you've worked through your other part-time jobs, just going with the flow.
It's a surprise when the man entered once more, greeting you with a smile. His suit is immaculate as ever, black with unopened buttons at the top, sleeves rolled as he walks around the store.
"Rough night?" He asks, sliding the drink to you as he finished paying.
You shrug, thanking him halfheartedly as you open the drink given to you. "Just tired."
"Well," He starts. "I hope tomorrow will be a better day for you. You never know what's going to happen, huh?"
You know those words were supposed to make you feel better, but somehow, it only does the opposite for you. You nod with an awkward smile. "Yeah, sure."
"Goodnight then—" He squints behind his glasses, reading your name tag. "—(name)."
"Goodnight."
You stare at his retreating back, noting no sights of red splatter on his back. That is, until you're eyes reached his shoes that you notice the red small imprint it left behind.
Yeah, you're definitely not going crazy from sleep.
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"What?! You've never dated anyone in that big of a city?" Iseul hissed through the phone, making you scoff at her. "Uh, yeah? Too busy making money so I could live the next day is pretty important to me, you know?"
"Oh, I know. I didn't mean it that way."
"No," You held back a yawn behind your hand. "I kinda agree with you here. I just—I don't know, I don't have time? Sure, dating sounds like a dream for me. But I'm afraid I'm to busy to manage a relationship and I'll get dumped."
"That's why communication is important!" Iseul replied back with vigor. "Look, I'm not going to force you but my boyfriend has a friend there, coincidentally, that's also single."
"Is that why you called me?"
"No! Well...maybe," She laughs nervously. You smirk in amusement but told her to go on.
"Right! His name is Donghyun, goes to the same university if I'm not wrong. He's older around three years than you. Sounds good?"
"Uh, any other information that you know besides that?"
"Sorry, I don't really know the guy. But, my boyfriend says that he's really nice. If you're down, I'm gonna give your number to him."
You sigh, thinking about the dangers of meeting a stranger for a date. Then again, you really need something other than working your ass off in your spare time. You contemplated for a minute, before cutting off Iseul's rambling on the phone. "Hey, I'll go."
Iseul started to scream loudly, making you pull away from the phone in an instant. "My ears!"
"Sorry, sorry! I'm just so happy for you!"
You laugh lightly, "I haven't even met the guy, Iseul."
"Well, I hope he's good to you. If not, then I can go to you and find him to beat his ass up if he ever hurts you."
"Alright, I hope you protect me from whatever danger there is," You hum.
The conversation between you and Iseul goes on until the morning. Thankfully, you only had one class and no work since you covered one of your coworkers shifts and in return, now they're covering yours.
It's a surprise when an unknown phone number texted you, introducing himself as the man himself, Donghyun. He texted cutesy enough, adding cat stickers every now and then that made you laugh. He wanted to meet you today, which made you think about how he's really desperate but deep down you're desperate too.
You agreed to meet up after your class this afternoon, meeting at a cafe nearby so you assumed he also has classes today.
Wanting to make a good impression, you decided to dress up a bit more nicer with a dress. You kept your hairstyle simple yet pretty, using some light makeup before deciding to go to class after a big brunch.
You ignored the curious glances you received at class, quickly leaving when it finished. You texted Donghyun that you're walking to the cafe, surprised that he's already there and asked if you wanted any drinks or food.
When you arrived, you looked around before seeing someone waving their hand at you. You held back a noise of surprise at the sight of a familiar face. You've seen him before a few times at university, what a small world.
"Donghyun?"
"Yeah! You must be (name), it's nice meeting you," He smiles widely as he gestures towards the seat across him. "I already ordered the drinks and food here. So, uh, dig in!"
"Thanks," You smiled at him.
Donghyun really is a nice guy. Very attentive to your needs, a true gentleman. But a few times he sounds a bit...ignorant.
"Oh, wow! You work two part-time jobs and go to university? That's really admirable."
You nod along. "Yeah, it sucks and tiring. But I need the money, ya know?"
"Why can't your parents pay for it? It seems like a parents duty to pay for their child's education."
You held back a grimace, hiding it with a shrug of your shoulders. "Yeah, that's true. But they don't have much money to support me plus themselves. So I had to resort to working."
"No wonder you look tired all the time. No offense, but you look like a zombie every time I see you."
You laugh along with him, noticing how he opens his mouth once more probably to ask you the same questions. But you diverted the topic to him, asking what major he's in.
You learned Donghyun was a business major, following along his mother's footsteps to continue their oil tycoon. Everything suddenly clicks as Donghyun tells you his story.
He's old money and super rich. Whilst you're an ordinary country bumpkin.
Basically two different worlds.
But you really don't care about that now. He seems like a sweetheart, and you're tired of the same cycle you're going through every fucking day.
You need a breath of fresh air.
So you agreed to date him. Scheduling seems a bit hard because of your schedule, but Donghyun seems to be fine with it, asking you to message him if you have any spare time.
One date turns to two. Two turns into three more dates. Until you realized you've been dating Donghyun for the past three months.
He really is a sweet guy. But you know it's never going to last long from the expectations his parents had for him about his life, so you took everything lightly and just enjoyed the flow. Besides, he likes to spoil you with gifts. You're not going to decline that, especially if it's necessary needs like foods and clothes.
One thing that never changed though is the man that routinely visits the convenience store once a week. New suits, same old face, and the always changing positions for the blood. Because of this, you kept your distance from him. Always setting boundaries when he asks you personal questions, but never getting mad since you don't want to make him pissed off.
"New bracelet?"
"Huh?"
"Is that a new bracelet you bought? Looks cute," The man smiled, pointing towards the beaded bracelet you had on.
"Yeah, my boyfriend bought it for me," You replied back nonchalantly, scanning the items in front of you. Not noticing how the man posture snapped in an instant from relaxed to tense.
He hums, tracing letters on the counter. "Boyfriend, huh? Who's the lucky guy?"
"No one you know, of course. But it's someone from my university."
The man nodded once more, scoffing before he quickly replaced the frown with a smile. "How long you've been dating?"
"Not your business."
"Aw, I thought we were friends—"
"Uh, no? I don't even know your name. Why would I be friends with you?" You stared at the man with a confused gaze, quickly averting your eyes when he only blankly stared at you with no expression on his face.
"Of course, my apologies. Here, take the drink. You need it."
You hesitantly grabbed it. "Thanks, I guess."
He nods once, grabs his things, before walking out of the store. You let out a relieved sigh, pushing the drink out of your way. "Fucking creep."
You glanced into the empty streets outside, relieved the man was nowhere to be seen. You grabbed your phone just in case when you saw a text from Donghyun.
You: when?
Dodo: coffee date? <3
You contemplated for a while, knowing you have a shift tomorrow. But one of your coworkers could cover you for one day, it wouldn't hurt.
Dodo: hoping tmrw is ok?
You: sounds good :)
You ignored the sinking feeling growing inside you, wanting to have fun once in a while without overthinking it.
But maybe you should've listened to your gut this time.
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"Wow, this place is really secluded," You commented at the small indie cafe. Donghyun shrugged, pulling out a chair for you. "I know, but the reviews are really good. And my friends told me it's worth it."
"Alright, did they recommend anything?"
"The croissant looks good, but they recommended we buy the red velvet slice."
You nodded, giving out your usual drink order to Donghyun as he walks up to order. You looked around and noticed how empty it is for a supposedly popular cafe. Yeah, two people are outside right now, drinking and smoking. But other than that, the place looks deserted.
"Here you go," Donghyun placed the drinks and food. "Pretty fast but they don't have any customers besides us right now."
"Yeah, doesn't it feel weird to you? A popular cafe this empty on a Friday?"
He shrugs, already drinking away. "Like you said, it's a secluded place. It's popular, yeah, but only a few people know."
"Really?"
"Not a lot things on social media, but maybe this cafe runs from word of mouth? You know, people talk to their friends who in return come here."
"Maybe," You answered, but there's still doubt lingerie in your head. You brushed it off as Donghyun started to talk, asking about you and telling stories about him and his friends.
The cake was honestly really good, you can't get enough of it. But you stopped eating when you notice Donghyun yawning for the fifth time in a row. "You alright?"
"Yeah, just—" He yawns widely before continuing. "I don't know why I feel really sleepy."
"Did you not sleep well last night?"
"I did! I just—I don't know why I'm suddenly so tired."
You opened your mouth to reply back but only met with your own yawn passing through. "Woah, that's a surprise."
Donghyun laughs. "Are you tired too? Damn, we're meant to be." His head slumps towards the table, no sounds from him other than soft breathing.
Your gaze started to get weird, looking around as your head started to get dizzy. Out of the corner of your eyes, you saw the barista talking to someone, someone in a suit. You tried to move away from the approaching figure, but felt your body too weak to even move.
In the next few seconds, your eyes started to get droopy before you succumb to the darkness.
You don't know how long you're out, but one thing for sure is you got a massive headache. And you're tied to a chair in a small room.
You groan at the light hitting your eyes as you open your eyes, grimacing at the painful headache growing rapidly.
"—Thank you again, for the help."
"Well, don't got much choices do I?"
"Yes, that's true. But thank you nonetheless."
"Hey," You spoke out loud. "Hey! Where the fuck am I?!"
"Sounds like your lover's awake," A gruff voice replied.
The door besides you opened slowly, making you glare at the familiar man smiling widely at you. "Hello, headache?"
"No shit!" You hissed at the man who only innocently smiles at you. "What did you do? Where's Donghyun?"
"Now, now, you don't have to worry about some other man," He gently replied, grabbing an extra chair out of nowhere. You glared at the man as he fixed his cuff links, clicking his tongue when he noticed a small patch of red staining his white clean button up.
"Who's blood is that?"
"No one you need to worry about," He laughs, fixing his glasses as he smiles at you. "I'm sorry we need to reunite like this, but you gave me no choice."
"What the—wait, reunite? What do you mean reunite?" You whispered in shock.
He laughs softly at you, brushing a piece of hair away from your face as you flinched away from him. "I don't blame you for not recognizing me. I have to...alter my appearance because of my job."
"Just tell me who you are!"
"I've killed my own biological family members, who's been searching for me every since a group of assassins kidnapped me for ransom," He starts, playing with the ring on his finger. "Huang Jeongcheol, the innocent man that I've killed without knowing. And Huang Hyorin, who I've failed because I was too late to save her."
Your head started to ache painfully, your breathing becomes more ragged as you stared at the man you once knew in your past, suddenly here with you.
Kidnapped you. And could possibly hurt you.
"S-San?"
"Hi, (name)," San smiles as he moves closer to you. He coos as he brushed away the tears that escapes your eyes. You didn't even notice you're crying, you didn't know why. Maybe because all this time you've let go of the past with him, finding it to be near impossible when he didn't even tried to contact you.
"Why are you crying, love?"
"Wha—I thought, I thought you're dead!"
"And why would I be?" He hums, continuing to brush your hair softly, a smile etched on his face as you tried to calm your breathing.
"You said people were after you! Tried to kill you!" You screamed loudly, glaring at him with wild eyes. "And you said they're also after me! How can I not conclude that you're dead when you didn't contacted me whatsoever!"
He sighs, sitting again in front of you whilst he holds your hands to his. "I know. And I've wanted to meet you after I've sent the letter—"
"You've sent that creepy letter?!"
"Yeah, I gotta admit it is creepy," He laughs. "But anyways, back to the story. I didn't contact you because I've been working."
"You got a job? Here?"
"Not necessarily here," He explains. "Let's just say I've become what I've been trained for since my younger years."
Dread grows inside your body, looking at San with weary eyes as you hoped whatever suspicions you had about him was wrong. "You kill people for a living? L-Like them?"
He nods once.
"Oh, San...why? Did anyone force you to work this—"
"No one forced me!" He yells, making you jump as you closed your mouth in an instant. His eyes now wild with fire, glaring incessantly at the wall as his hold on your hands turned tighter. He lets go of your hands as you yelped in pain, mumbling a small 'sorry'.
"No one forced me, (name)," He continues. "Yes, I've been living like hell just so I could live another day! Hiding in slums, stealing, begging to strangers for food, whatever I could do to hide from that bastards!"
"But I've had enough one day, I've just had it with them," He hissed, pacing back and forth in front of you as he crossed his arms. "So I become a hitman, for the people who need it. I need the money and the relations to get back at them, and I've become weak over the years because I didn't train enough. But one job turned into more and more, and suddenly people in the industry know my name. They respected me for my work ethic, cleanliness, and no bullshit attitude."
"A-And did you—"
"Yeah, I did it," He smirks in triumph. "I killed the last one just two years ago. Bastard didn't even put up a fight, fucking beheaded him. It felt so...euphoric to see the light slowly disappearing from his eyes."
You flinched when his gaze turns to you. "And you, (name), I've never forgotten you once in my life. I've prayed to whatever God is there to always be there for you when I'm not there. I've hold on to the promise we've made, and when I first saw you here—" He laughs happily. A lovesick look on his face as he sighs, "I couldn't believe my eyes. You look the same yet you look so angelic and beautiful when I first saw you. I thought about the future we could have together, just us together. Maybe we could get a pet. Besides, I'm respected now! I have money to spoil you and you don't have to even work. But..."
"But?"
"But you broke our promise," San hissed with venom. "You said you'll wait for me! You said you wanted to be with me. And I find you all of a sudden with a boyfriend!"
He looks at you with hurt and betrayal, hands clenched tightly as you tried to look away from his stare. "What was I supposed to do? Wait for you?!"
"Yes! You promised me, (name)!"
"We were young!" You bellowed out to him, chest heaving with anger as he looks at you with hard eyes. "We were young, San. It's stupid for me to just wait in that damn town. I was scared to move away, yes, but I wanted to get out of that small town since forever."
You looked at him desperately, ignoring the warning signs ringing inside your head from the look on San's face. "I have to think for myself and my family. I moved here to get better education, and I worked my ass off to get money so I could buy food and pay for my utilities! I was stressed out thinking people were out to get me, before I realized it's all bullshit!"
"It's not bullshit, (name)!"
"Oh, I know," You mumbled. "But I can't live my life just for some promise I made to them in the past. It's called moving on, San."
He's quiet as you cough lightly, now feeling how dried your throat is as you glanced around the room for any escape. You turned to look at him as he lets out a breathy laugh, hands wiping his face in an obvious attempt to hide his anger.
"So, the promise you made...it doesn't mean anything to you, huh?"
You looked away, closing your eyes before answering. "It used to mean something. But at one point, I just—I just let go of my worries. I got into a good university, I moved away, worked hard for money so I could sustain my life. I've met good friends here—"
"And a boyfriend."
"Yes," You glared at him. "A boyfriend. Whom I've choose to date because I wanted to. I know it's not a serious relationship, but I wanted to get out of the stress for just one moment. And you're mad at me for that?!"
San shakes his head, looking away from your gaze. "I'm not mad, just disappointed. I wanted for us to be together, and now you're protecting this asshole like you love him."
"I do love him," You answered. He scoffs loudly, laughing loudly as he shakes his head. "Like you've said, this relationship wasn't meant to last this long. And I think I should end this now."
You're eyes widen as he stood up, cracking his knuckles as he stretches. "S-San? What—What are you doing?"
He smiles, not in a loving way, but more sinister and mocking. "Don't worry," He pats your head, messing up your hair even more. "I just need to get rid of him. Then, we'll finally be together."
"What?! No, wait!"
You tried to move, tried to get help by screaming, only to stop when you hear a loud scream outside. You whimper when a thud was heard outside, trying to find anything to cut the ropes tying you up as the screams started to get even more desperate.
"No! San, please! Leave him be," You cried out.
Another scream.
"Please, please! Just let him go! He didn't do anything wrong!"
A groan from Donghyun before he pleads for his life.
"San! Please, don't kill him."
A final 'thud' was heard outside.
No sounds.
You cried and cried, tears running down freely from your eyes as you whimper. Donghyun is dead because of you.
You didn't look up when the door opened, too exhausted to even lift up your head as you continued to sob silently.
"Thanks again, Jongin."
You glanced up to see the barista standing near the doorway. "Whatever," He mumbles. "I need to clean up anyways. The usual?"
San hums happily, brushing away the strands of hair that has fallen down his perfectly styled hair. "Yeah. Make sure to cut him up, place him in different areas. I'll tip you even more money."
"You got it."
With one final look from the man, he closed the door.
Leaving you with this psychopath.
"Look at me, (name). I know you're tired, but please look at me," He cooed.
"No," You whispered, not able to see the blood stains on him.
He sighs, walking up to you to grab you by the hair. You yelled in pain, before shutting your mouth as his grip turned tighter.
"Here's a warning for you," He starts. His eyes crazed and face covered in blood. "Do stupid things that'll make me mad, and others will face the consequences."
He points towards the door. "That's warning number one."
"I don't want to hurt you anymore," He whispers, grip turning more loose as he lets go of your hair. He walks around you, eyes cold and emotionless. So different from the one before. "But, if I have to—I will kill others you love."
"No, please."
"And if you do something that steps over the boundaries I'll give you," He stops in front of you, cupping your chin so you'll look at him. "I will kill your mother."
"No!" You scream, desperation in your tone. "Please, not her! Don't kill anyone," You cried out to him.
San smiles, his expression turned more soft in a matter of seconds. He kneels before hugging you, kissing your lips deeply like he's a starved man. He bites your lip enough to make it bleed, making you whimper in pain. He sighs, happily, brushing your tears away with his thumb before smiling.
"Be mine, (name). All of your worries will go away, and no one will ever be hurt because of you."
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From the things you only have, he really needs to spoil you more. He thinks about the new clothes he could buy, some nice accessories for you to wear, maybe even some naughty things for the both of you to enjoy—
San hums a happy tune as he moves the boxes from your small apartment. He can't believe you live in this dump when you could've lived with him in a nice apartment. Then again, you lived according to your budget so he can't really blame you.
Plus he had other things to work on, planning the apartment, making sure you're comfortable there. Maybe killing a few people to make sure nobody gets suspicious as to where you are. Families are usually the most bothersome people to handle with, that's why he needed to make your last remaining family member die. He's skilled enough anyways to make it seem like an accident.
Your mother, a heart attack.
Your aunt, car crash.
Your friend, Iseul, killed by her boyfriend.
You don't know of course. He'll make sure of that.
"Hey, who are you?"
San looks around before seeing an old man standing at the end of the hallway, voice gruff probably because of the cigarette he's smoking. He smiles in ease, knowing it's your landlord after the stalking he's done throughout the years.
"Oh! I'm (name)'s boyfriend, sir."
"And what exactly are you doing?"
"Just moving out some of her stuff," He shrugs. "We decided to live together now."
"And why isn't she here?"
His smile turned more tense, already feeling annoyed from questions. Can't this old fart just go away?
"She's sick, sadly. So I'm tasked with moving the rest of her stuff."
The old man only nods. "Good, take care of her. She's too coped up here, she's still young."
San laughs, "That's what I've said to her too!"
He eyes the old man, cocking his head to the side as he smirks in amusement. "Don't worry, I'll take real good care of her."
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pearlsinmyhair · 2 months
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⚔︎⊹ ࣪ MODERN!MIZU HEADCANONS
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i had to write something for her- i was itching. headcanons are always kinda scary for me so i hope you like them
anyways: very light on x reader, with general mentions of mizu having a partner. that being said, no nsfw (for this one).
real quick! : i use she/her pronouns for mizu in this. if this is triggering for you, which i completely understand if it is, then please don’t proceed.
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≈ she most definitely owns a cat. mizu is one of those pet owners whose animals reflect their personalities. her cat will tolerate some and scamper away from the rest of those who dare try to pet them. the feline avoids taigen, is chill with akemi, and pretends to hate ringo (she purrs as soon as he walks into her apartment, but she does so with a grumpy face).
≈ surprisingly, the fur baby let you scratch her under her chin when you first came over- which, believe me, mizu noted.
≈ has a butterfly knife.
≈ can do extremely elaborate tricks with it -are we surprised-
≈ one time taigen tried to copy her and it ended with him slicing a finger open and almost flinging the knife into his face.
≈ there’s a blood stain on the rug in mizu’s living room, and whenever taigen brags she’ll just silently point at it to humble his ass.
≈ also has a fish. specifically a beta fish. they’re solitary and will fight others if kept together, and i think mizu would find some kind of kinship with a little angry beta fish.
≈ no, her cat doesn’t try to eat her fish. everyone is convinced that the three beings in the mizu household can read each others minds.
≈ this idea isn’t squashed when you eventually move in, because three simply becomes four, and you all move around each other and communicate perfectly without so much as a look. it’s freaky, and taigen, akemi, and ringo will watch them in silence trying to figure it out.
≈ she wears those giant bermuda-cut jean shorts. akemi hates them, which just makes mizu love them more. she loves seeing her face scrunch up with disgust when they meet up.
≈ gym girlie gym girlie gym girly-
≈ girl’s got a snatched waist, it’s not faaaaiiiirrrr-
≈ definitely has tattoos, and everyone of them is meaningful. there’s a teeny tiny pheonix at the nape of her neck, a dagger on her ankle for swordfather, and a Hokusai wave trailing down her bicep that she gets extended every now and again.
≈ speaking of the wave tattoo, mizu has a deep seated love for the ocean. as in, she’ll never tell anyone outright, but if the group is anywhere near the beach for the day, mizu disappears. they find her via taigen (he has her location under the guise of knowing where to find her body if she gets killed), and she’s waist deep in the waves, just kinda meditating.
≈ she doesn’t get visually cold. like, cmon, sis was wandering around in the snow and sporting a little red nose. she doesn’t complain, doesn’t shiver, and her teeth don’t chatter.
≈ that is, unless you’re close to her.
≈ she’ll allow herself to be babied after putting up a fight (ahem ringo) but a bitch will melt if you fret over her.
≈ factory reset when you try to warm her hands up by cupping them in yours and breathing on them.
≈ taigen will gag if you both show pda, and mizu will threaten death.
≈ this woman has enviable fashion sense. off duty model vibes, even though she’s not trying.
≈ favors baggy clothes, and likes a more androgynous appearance.
≈ that being said, the eyeliner on her slays. just as sharp as her sword, and she’s got ariana grande skills when it comes to applying it.
≈ rbf all the way. most people think she hates them (she does, but she’ll never confirm it) because her default expression is stern.
≈ i think she’d wear rings. all kinds- she likes to twist them when she’s thinking.
≈ if she were to go to college, i feel like she’d pursue some kind of history degree or art history and specify in either japanese military history or traditional art (im projecting-)
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i’m actually fighting fear to post these-
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wannaeatramyeon · 1 year
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I look every romance or comedy manga/manhwa scene and see there is always a scene where guys want to lay thier head on the female thighs, I actually just thought what would lookism and Vhit reaction when Y/N invite them to lay thier head on thier thighs to clean thier ear or just let them rest.
Bonus: I just snickering on my imagination on what if reader booba squashed the head of the character lol. Thier face be like no reaction but in thier mind they go raving and fist bumping on the air as they basically active thier man's dream list.
HAPPY FRIDAY SAM! Thanks for the ask (was it only last Friday with Jichang?!). Just done Lookism boys... But not me now imagining a conveyor belt of PTJ boys lining up to rest their head on your lap omg
Lookism boys... resting their head in your lap hc
(Johan Seong, Jake Kim, Gun Park, Goo Kim, Vasco, Vin Jin, Warren Chae)
Johan Seong
For a dog person, he's awful cat like
Takes this position initially with a lot of distrust
Ready to bolt even as you start stroking their hair
Huh??? This? is? nice???
Uh oh, look what you have started. It becomes routine
Will just wordlessly lie his head in your lap and stare at you until you start running your hands through his hair again
Jake Kim
Absolute favourite place
Will take advantage of the free spot whenever he can
Whether he gets your full attention or while you're watching TV or whatever
Not often he gets babied, especially not at his size
You ruffle his hair, trace his scars, pinch his cheeks
Nice for you too to have it all within reaching distance
Always results in Jake dozing off
Gun Park
You offered up your lap, and was surprised he took you up on it
Now he's here, Gun's not sure how he feels being in such a submissive position
It's a big shift in power dynamics until he catches the way you look down at him -
Tender and loving, the smile on your lips as you run your hands all over him
Ok. Fine. He can live with this for now
Goo Kim
This guy...
Tucks himself into your crotch 100% of the time
Maybe it's cos he's a pervert, more likely cos he thinks it's funny
Talks to your crotch too
"Hey cutie, how you doing? You want some attention?"
Completely up to chance whether he follows through
Vasco
Very hesitant at the intimacy at first
Now he views your lap as the most heavenly pillows known to man
Sees his life flash before his eyes when you lean over and squash your boobs in his face
Internal battle whether to get up or hope you do it again
"Wait hold on, Euntae - let me get this too" (more leaning)
Of course you knew what you were doing
Vin Jin
"Check my ears for me!"
"I wanted to lie down anyway, you got in the way"
"I'm tired, piss off if you don't like it"
This bastard, he's trapped your legs underneath him and he's not letting you go despite what he says
Very anxious in this position because of how easily you can see his eyes
Worth it though to see how much you let him get away with even if you look like you want to strangle him
Warren Chae (to my anon ask 💕)
Hasn't felt this closeness in probably ever
Used to looking after everyone. It's a change, but appreciates you doting on him in this position
Your calming hands and soothing voice washes over him
You don't expect much response from Warren. He puts his head on your lap for some peace
He stays quiet but the way he looks at you says more than enough
+ Reacting to your boobs squishing them
Bites (softly... ish)
Johan Seong, Gun Park, Goo Kim, Eli Jang, Ryuhei Kuroda, DG
Motorboats
Goo Kim, Jake Kim (mood dependent), Vin Jin, Ryuhei Kuroda
Malfunctions but replays it in their head over and over again
Jake Kim, Sinu Han, Vasco, Warren Chae, Zack Lee, Daniel Park, Jay Hong
Not sure how, but you will be the one squished
Samuel Seo
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getwonderhoyd · 10 months
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in tsukasas card i see references to three mythological creatures. the figures behind him are two kasa clones, lefty's shadow has a fox's tail while right's has a tanukis making them shapeshifters. kitsune are often messengers from gods and have a more refined reputation. tanuki are tricksters who love playing pranks on people, reflected in how each of them dress. tanuki also use a leaf to help them transform, which is why the middle kasa holds one. is he a tanuki too? its unclear
the other is the kasa obake, a yokai of an umbrella with one eye. when old belongings are forgotten and left in disrepair, they can transform into yokai. each kasa is holding a broken and torn red parasol iconic of the kasa obake, and only one of his eyes can be seen. even his clones eyes are hidden by the glare of his glasses.
whats unusual about the kasa obake is unlike other yokai, it has little to no basis in eyewitness accounts or folklore and is only seen in art, so it's considered less of a folk legend and more a fictional character. this has interesting implications for tsukasa who is the actor. he has a running history when it comes to identifying as the characters he plays in his cards, and seems to be the only character in this set "playing the part" of a yokai or spirit rather than just being with them. and theres something to be said about tsukasa in a gakuran, just like he wore in middle school, identifying with an object thats been left behind and ignored.
with tsukasa also holding the leaf like a tanuki, treating the kasa clones like completely separate people is not the way to go. lefty is prim and proper, like a textbook student. you could attribute him to the tsukasa who is responsible and reliable, the dependable older brother and troupe leader who wants to take care of everyone and puts their needs before his own. right is messy and confident, the loud, annoying, weird, silly, self absorbed and ego driven tsukasa. hes often reduced to one or the other, but with only one half it doesnt even look like him anymore. both sides are intrinsically him
tsukasa struggles a lot with how he views himself versus what he wants to be, squashing down what he identifies as less desirable traits to fit his ideal. this is most obviously seen in his last focus event, hiding his "ugly" emotions from wxs to maintain his image, but also in kaito, who embodies everything tsukasa hopes to be. theres much more, but tsukasa and identity has been a subtle but constant thematic through line for him. the kasa clones could be how various characters view him, how they often either love him or find him a nuisance. it could be the responsible and brave face he put on for saki and his parents, and now he has the potential to be looked after by someone else if he takes it. it could be the always okay always happy face he shows wxs while he struggles to actually be vulnerable and honest about his problems. it could be a whole host of things
theres so much symbolism in this card and im sure theres stuff i havent even noticed yet
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thefreakandthehair · 7 months
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@eddiemonth prompt, oct 6th: Crush | You Could Start A Cult - Niall Horan | Sincere a/n: steddie, pining, post-s4. un-betaed because I’m challenging myself to write these in under an hour. read on ao3 | link to masterpost on ao3
A crush is called a crush for a reason, and Eddie Munson is learning this lesson the hard way. 
The very hard way. 
The Jesus Christ, all he did was laugh at my stupid joke and I’m going to collapse in on myself like a dying star kind of way. 
It’s been nearly a year of this and Eddie feels like he’s being squashed beneath the weight of the giant boulder that is his crush on Steve Harrington. A solid year of his hopeless, pointless, wonderful crush on Steve Harrington. 
Everyone knows– well, everyone above the age of 16 has figured it out at least. Eddie isn’t exactly known for his subtlety, after all. 
Jeff, Gareth, and Freak had their reservations at the start after years of being persecuted by the same genre of person Steve had been in high school but once Eddie spun them the tale of how Steve carried out from beneath the rubble of a collapsed building, they’d come around. Jeff took the longest, finally acquiescing  after properly meeting Steve.
You were always into jocks, dude, c’mon. Sounds like this one might have some redeemable qualities at least. 
He couldn’t quite tell them the actual truth, but it’s truth-adjacent and does the job. It paints Steve as the hero Eddie knows him to be, whether Steve wants to acknowledge the title or not. 
Robin knew before they’d even gone back into the Upside Down, before Eddie nearly died in Dustin’s arms and then again, in Steve’s. 
I was there when you called him Big Boy, Munson. You’re not subtle. He’s just oblivious. 
Nancy figured it out when Eddie was in the hospital, still a little loopy from painkillers and who knows what else. 
You were on another planet and couldn’t stop talking about his chest hair, Eddie. 
Argyle knew on sight the first time he saw Eddie with Steve. It was a little spooky, actually, how on the nose he was about two people he barely knew but on the nose, he was. 
You’re the only one callin’ him Stevie, brochacho. And he’s the only one calling you Ed so… take that for what it’s worth. 
Jonathan knew because Argyle knew and Jonathan and Argyle seem to have something there, too, but that’s none of Eddie’s business. All of the unrequited love bandwidth he has is tied up in Steve, and his smile, and his way with the kids, and his cologne– 
“You got something on your face.” 
Robin nudges him in the side behind the kitchen counter where he’s been leaning, watching helplessly through the kitchen window as Steve grills another round of burgers going for their We Lived And Can’t Tell The Tale Because We All Signed NDAs party starting soon. 
Eddie wipes his face frantically, hoping he didn’t have ketchup or something on his cheek from Steve’s trial run of the burgers. He pulls his hand back to find nothing besides Robin grinning, bemused and pitying all the same when it clicks.
“I’m not actually drooling. Just… metaphorically. God, let me cling to some shred of dignity here.” 
Steve flips another burger, this one landing square right-side-up. Eddie groans, Robin rolls her eyes, and he laments. 
“What the fuck is wrong with me that that’s so hot? He’s not doing anything special! He’s just existing in those too-tight jeans and plain tee shirt and I’m ready to lay waste to the evils of the world to get to him. And they say I’m the cult leader? I’d follow this asshole into the bowels of Hell.” Eddie sighs and drops his head back to stare at the ceiling.
It’s offensive, honestly, the popcorn ceiling and the way it mocks him. 
“I mean, you kinda already did.” Robin shrugs and bumps her shoulder into his, somehow softer than her initial nudge. “And look, it’s not my business, but I think you might be surprised if you talked to him. He’s not the same he was when he said all that shit to Jonathan, y’know.” 
Eddie whips to the side, too quickly as his head spins for a brief moment. He searches her eyes for hints or a glimmer of hope. Something. Anything. 
“What do you know, Buckley?” It’s less a question and more a statement. 
“I don’t know a damn thing, other than a conversation might do you both some good. But look,” Robin sighs and hops up to sit on the island next to Eddie as he turns his attention back to Steve manning the grill. He’s trying not to stare at the way Steve twirls the spatula… and failing, of course. How are his hands so big? 
“Hello? Munson, Earth to heart-eyes over there. This is information you might really want to listen to.” Robin waves a hand in front of his face and he jolts out of his thoughts. It’s for the best– the second he gets lost in Steve’s hands, it’s all over for him. 
“Sorry, sorry, I’m listening.” Eddie responds, vaguely reminded of his many years in school. 
“I was saying, Steve’s a good guy. The best guy, really. And I know he’s acted fine with being single the last year or so, but he’s lonely behind that facade. So if this is just like, a crush that’s gonna pass, keep it to yourself. But if you really like him, if you wanna like, be with him, then yeah. I think you might want to talk to him.” 
Eddie considers his feelings for a long moment, staring back out the window. This time, he watches Steve at the grill and sees so much more than a guy in too-tight jeans and a plain tee shirt flipping burgers. He sees jumping into the lake, rushing through the Upside Down, finding a quiet moment in the chaos traipsing through the Upside Down’s version of the woods. He sees what little he remembers of bleeding out and being carried by Steve through the portal, of waking up in the hospital, handcuffed to the bed and Steve sitting in the corner with Wayne. He sees every fleeting moment, every soft touch, every nickname and split joint and pizza with half pepperoni and half bacon. 
He looks out the window at Steve and sees his life. 
Maybe the weight of his crush has only felt so heavy in the way that holding your arms out for too long begins to feel heavy.  Maybe the forced, sustained tension would be relieved if he just let himself relax. 
“I’m with him already, for better or worse.”
Robin hums in acknowledgement before breaking into laughter as they both watch Steve transfer the burgers to a plate, only to accidentally knock the dish off the side of the grill. He must hear their laughter because his eyes shoot directly to the window and he points the spatula at them, free hand on his hip. “It’s not fucking funny, now I have to go to the store!” 
“It’ll probably be for the worse.” Robin looks at him and raises an eyebrow. 
Eddie just laughs and shakes his head, tendrils of hair falling into his face that he pulls further across his mouth. 
“Worth it.”
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teyums · 1 year
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“Everyone knows. Everyone knows. She f*cks you.”
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Ao’nung headcanon (no use of yn!)
⚠️ All characters are age 18 or over in this story. I will not write Ao’nung in a suggestive manner unless he is aged up.
Wc: 1.2k
I myself haven’t seen anyone write Ao’nung as submissive so I was happy to. And personally, I think this fits him way more hehe. 🤭
includes: suggestive/strong language.
part two
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• Because Ao’nung is such a dickhead and so headstrong all the time, I think its pretty damn obvious that it’s merely a tough front he puts on to throw any one off from finding out he’s submissive as hell, especially you. He’s actually a sucker for the woman he loves. This man literally WORSHIPS the ground you walk on and he lives for that shit. That big and bad act is simply a disguise to hide the fact that he’s actually a bitch boy. He would definitely listen to whatever you say and follow your directions to a T.
•He’s had women pine after him before but they quickly gave up because he’s so damn rude, leaving him with zero potential mates before you came along. No other na’vi woman was willing to put up with his attitude, or better yet, see right through that shit and squash it like you did. Or maybe no other woman had the power to. The mere thought of you was enough to get this man off, he was like putty in your hands; completely infatuated with you.
Something in your bones always told you that bully act was one big bluff. The first time Ao’nung hurt your feelings while you were dating, you denied his want to touch you for two whole days. When he expressed his disapproval of your decision, you made him get on his knees and beg for forgiveness, or he wouldn’t be able to touch you for two weeks. Two weeks without touching you for Ao’nung would feel like two years. It’s not a surprise that he’s incredibly clingy and gets upset when he can’t be near you 24/7, so you knew exactly what to hold against him when he made you mad. Jeez, what a fuckin baby. Talk about mommy issues.
“Baby, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean it, will you forgive me?” He spoke softly and looked down at you with doe eyes, hoping to get off the hook and have this be over with. You stood in front of him and let out a dry laugh, arms crossed and expression unamused. Now he knew good and well you wouldn’t go that easy. Him being an entire foot taller than you didn’t phase you and he knew that. Some of the other men laughed when they would see a sight such as this. How is such a small, feeble woman controlling the olo’eyktan’s son like she’s his handler? What kind of spell did you put on him?
You stared up at Ao’nung through your long lashes, hard. Completely unwavered by his attempt at winning you over.
He sighed and reached for you, but before he could even brush a finger against your arm you swatted his hand away.
“You don’t get to touch.” You hissed, earning a whine and almost a frustrated stomp from the boy who seemed sooo tough.
God, you loved to see him squirm.
“Beg for it.” You demanded, your gaze mean and unfaltering. You didn’t feel bad, Ao’nung treated everyone else like this and you were simply giving him a taste of his own medicine. Besides, he liked it anyway. The boy has a thing for dominant women, who would have guessed.
He sighed, looking around at the other na’vi strolling on the beach and cursing under his breath. “Please, please forgive me.” He spoke, sounding so much smaller than before, both in voice and confidence.
You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Is this what you call begging, Ao’nung? That’s pathetic, you know better. Do not waste my time.”
“Ugh… right now? Like, here? People will see me.” He lifted his hand to rub the back of his neck and spoke in a hushed tone so nobody around would hear what he was saying. He had an image to uphold, the tough son of the olo’eyktan who didn’t take shit from anybody and gave shit to everybody. If anyone saw you controlling him like this, he feared it would damage his “reputation”. Or more so his ego.
You didn’t care though, this shit turned you on. And no matter how much he complained about it, you knew it turned him on too. He would never hide the way he looked at you as if he wanted to pounce, and his body gave him up as if you had offered it a cash reward.
“Fine, three weeks.” You responded plainly and shrugged after upping his timeout, turning on your heels to walk until he grabbed your wrist and sunk down to his knees before your footing could even change in the sand.
“Wait, wait! Please, my love… I’m sorry” He apologized, genuinely this time. You could hear the desperation in his voice and it made your core tingle with need. He held your smaller sized hand in both of his much larger ones and pressed his lips against the back of it, smothering it with kisses incessantly and apologizing between each one.
Ao’nung was aware of what he had just been told, no touching. But he couldn’t help himself, he needed his hands on you every minute of the day, whether it be him kissing the back of your hand as if you were royalty or you playing in his hair while he dozed away on your chest. At this point, you had long forgiven him but seeing this big so called ‘bully’ down on his knees in front of you to earn back something so simple as the right to touch you, made you hot. You raised an eyebrow and lifted your chin at him, taking your hand back and placing your hands on your hips in an attempt to look unimpressed.
His eyes widened slightly and he shook his head, wrapping his muscular arms around your torso he hugged you tightly from below.
“Please princess, I will do anything… whatever you want. I’ll be good from now on, I promise. Just take me off punishment.” He whined desperately, the side of his face pressed just below your navel, his grip on you strong.
Feeling your breath quietly catch in your throat as you watched him, you re-centered yourself to stop your legs from trembling. Many thoughts passed through your mind and you felt your skin heating up with his face pressed up against your body. You hummed, trying to decide on one of many options and gently brushing your fingers back between the lines of scalp next to his braids.
“Anything I want?” You cooed, chewing on your bottom lip slightly and earning an instant nod from the boy who was at your complete disposal.
“Ao’nung, up.” You beckoned and used your hand to raise his chin, seeing him look up at you in admiration from below as he quickly rose back to his feet at your direction. Taking his hand, you eyed him up and down deviously while he became more and more impatient with every second that passed. The shadow on his loincloth looked much different than it did when this conversation had started. The fabric was beginning to stretch, becoming taut and hinting at his arousal. He witnessed hunger and desire cloud your eyes, his tongue peeking out to lick at his bottom lip and his eyes watching you feverishly while he waited on your next move.
“Come.” You giggled, turning around and pulling him along like a lost puppy. A sigh of relief left his lips and the goofiest smile painted its way onto his face. You could damn near see the hearts flying in a halo around this boy’s head, he was so lovestruck. His ears perked up and his stride looked drunken as he allowed you to drag him back to your tent, his eyes falling to your backside and exposing how eager he was to fulfill whatever promise he had made to you.
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a/n: Alright I’m back in my groove now yall! This was so fun to write and it came to me so easily. I’m a sucker for obedient men who do as they’re told, what can I say. 🫠 I’m not sure how far in detail i’ll go when it comes to smut with ao’nung or neteyam (aged up ofc). I do know that I’ll probably get requests for multiple parts so If I write more you might see an increase in strong language or suggestive/m🅰️ture themes but I’ll have to see about that. I hope you guys enjoyed! Please like and reblog if you can, it’s much appreciated. 💞
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the-s1lly-corner · 5 months
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Could I request TADC with a character who has abandonment issues and is afraid they’ll be left alone again? 🥺 thank you in advance!
TADC cast x reader who has abandonment issues!
rubs my silly little hands (the admin also has abandonment issues/is working through them) gonna answer a few requests then i think i might make meringue cookies (they have a weird packing peanut texture that i love. or at least how i think they would feel, admin has never actually touched or chewed a packing peanut but he likes to think this is what they feel like)
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CAINE:
honestly if anything you might have to ask him to give YOU some space; caine in his spare time always wants to spend it around with you. doesnt even matter if you guys are doing something, he will literally just hover and run his mouth because he just cant get tired of you. so i think out of all of the cast hes going to be the one where to feel the most secure around since he pours his heart out about how much he loves you (whether platonically or romantically!). even when youre away off doing something else, hes likely gushing about you to anyone who will, and sometimes even wont, listen. embodiment of the "shes my girlfriend ehehe" mickey mouse meme that i saw going around a few weeks ago; point is theres nothing you need to worry about! however he listens when you share your worries, and squashes them down with reassurances and affirmations
POMNI:
oooo okay so this one is interesting because pomni is actively looking for an exit out of the digital world. and i think that this is common knowledge to just about everyone around her, you included. so i think that this might very likely feed into your fear of her leaving you behind... because what are the chances you guys would reunite if she actually found an exit? i mean can you imagine? and thats even assuming you guys would remember your time in the digital world when you return; im kind of on the fence on whether or not the digital memories would still be there after an escape, since you forget everything when you enter the digital world... (also as a side note for fluff with that idea imagine meeting with whoever after escaping and not knowing youve met before but you guys still fall for one another. this isnt just for pomni but for any of the characters. love that idea, so much)
anyways, as ive said a few times before pomni is... not good at comforting... but she sure as hell were try.. though, even she doesnt seem so sure of herself when she says shes going to be looking for you when you both escape, like shes scared you guys will be separated forever
"together"
RAGATHA:
as sweet and caring as ever, if you confide in her about your fears shes going to make sure youre not left in your thoughts. the best at reassuring you, and perhaps even pulls up an activity for the two of you to do together so you have something to get your mind off of it. if you dont approach her, shes going to notice that something is wrong with you and ask you yourself if youre okay and if theres something on your mind... does her best to stamp out your thoughts of fear and doubt, shes not going anywhere and she doesnt intend on abstracting anytime soon (though, can she really help it, if she ever does?)
point is i think out of all of the characters shes going to be the best in terms of comfort and making you feel safe and secure; and if it makes you feel any better you guys come up with a system of sorts to pin down the other if you guys ever escape the digital world; so you can find one another.. very sweet stuff, i think
JAX:
while ragatha is the best in terms of giving comfort and security, jax is probably the worst. the guy does not particularly scream the most emotionally mature and available; if anything i think he might brush off your worries with soft jabs like "dont be dumb, im not gonna go anywhere" or something in that vein. as per usual i think it would take you showing real big signs of distress for him to drop the whole asshole thing and try to make you feel better and assure you that hes not going to go anywhere. and even then its still a little.... eh... i mean jax isnt the best at comforting people; its not really his... thing, you know? sure he wont turn his back on you or make you feel bad (on purpose) but his main way of assuring you is just pushing the statement that hes not going to leave you be ("besides, im not done messing with you yet,") and even offers to hang out with you for the day/until you feel better
KINGER:
similar deal with caine in the case of "youre probably going to be the one asking for space" simply because kinger is too paranoid that something is going to happen to you that hes always trailing you and keeping you in his line of sight... honestly, i think his fears might even mirror your own; youre scared that hes going to leave you behind, and hes scared that something is going to happen to you and you wont be around anymore. neither of you can bury the thought... and in a weird, and perhaps even an unhealthy way depending on how intense it is and how you personally view it, you guys find comfort in your shared fears. like a confirmation that the two of you are too afraid to let go... you poor things... in short, you dont need to worry about anything, kinger is not going to be going anywhere..! in terms of comfort, he lets you hug and hold him and mess with his robes fur while reassuring you. back pats n rubs are in order, me thinks
ZOOBLE:
while zooble might come off as mean and cold, i dont think theyre exactly an asshole. sure they can come off as such thanks to their tone and attitude, but they care about you and while they struggle with expressing that... theyre trying their best... so at least theres an effort to let you know that they at least enjoy your presence..! their... flat voice doesnt really do them any favors but thats just how they talk. very firm in telling you that theyre not going anywhere, and to the point about it. while the others may go on tangents about why they wont leave, zooble will be blunt in simply saying that they care about you and that youre cool and that theyre not planning on just up and ditching you. now THATS not cool, unless you did something to them that warranted such a reaction... but what are the odds of that + then they would be in their right to bounce yk?
that aside, theyre firm and blunt in terms of comforting you, and often times offer to let you take the reigns for the day to choose what you guys do, in an attempt to make you feel better with something you enjoy!
GANGLE:
oh ho ho i think she would also have abandonment issues.... i mean it comes with the shy artist thing, you know? outcast weird kid who actually is a neurodivergant individual energy, you know? ponders. so i think, similar to kingers piece you guys find mutual comfort in the fact youre both so scared of the other leaving (again, the energy around that is up to you) and in an odd way it brings you two even closer. though, i dont think that would be enough for either of you to actually overcome your fear of abandonment, because ultimately its both something you guys need to work on... but why do it alone? you guys probably share tips and build each other up, going through something with a friend/partner isnt as scary or intimidating as doing it alone... so thats nice, i think..! not many ideas for gangle, unfortunately but i think i will leave this open with the concept of both of you healing and all that :3
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