#that and he's been stress-slurping cold noodles since Dojima's death

[cryingcow]

Character Story - Kashiwagi [RGGO]

Tonight’s story is about Mr. Cold Noodle Lover, He-Who-Got-Machine-Gun-Kiss’d, Kashiwagi! Thank you to @katedrawscomics, @blurred-voices, @majimemegoro​, @chaoticcandies, @majjiktricks for the request! This time, I’m using the cooler card immediately :D

Story: Kashiwagi deals with a coup d’etat and stress-eats cold noodles, both of which is Kiryu’s fault.

Kashiwagi: “I like eating cold noodles here whenever I’m stressed.”

Shopkeeper: “. . . But you’re here everyday for the last 10 years?”

Kashiwagi: *slurps noodles loudly*

Note: Gastroptosis, literally gastro = “stomach” and ptosis = “drop down”. A non-life threatening disease where the stomach is displaced downward to the point that part of it reaches the hip bones (see xray in the link). It’s characterized by slow motility, so there may be belching, indigestion, distension, etc. In ye olde times, corsets were used to increase the abdominal pressure to reduce its occurence; nowadays abdominal bandages can be used.

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CHAPTER 1

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|One day in 2006 . . .|

Kashiwagi: “. . .”

Kazama Family footsoldier: “Boss!”

Kashiwagi: “Calm down.  . . . What is it?”

Kazama Family footsoldier: “The Komai Family members have been encroaching on our territory!”

Kashiwagi: “Where is this territory?”

Kazama Family footsoldier: “It’s a mahjong parlor on Shichifuku Street. It’s called ‘Aobaen’ . . . !”

Kashiwagi: “Leave it.”

Kazama Family footsoldier: “Eh?!”

Kashiwagi: “Protecting that broke mahjong parlor isn’t necessary, don’t bother going to the trouble. Besides, the store manager there hides mahjong bets and pockets them. He should have a taste of some other family’s collection at least once.”

Kazama Family footsoldier: “Even so, isn’t it our territory?! To just give it away free of charge . . . !”

Kashiwagi: “Is it strange?”

Kazama Family footsoldier: “It’s ridiculous! Won’t they think we’re cowards?!”

Kashiwagi: “. . .”

Kazama Family footsoldier: “Ah . . . I-I’m sorry!! I spoke out of turn!!”

Kashiwagi: “It’s fine. Rather, report to everyone my orders. I’m going out.”

Kazama Family footsoldier: “. . . Yes. Thank you for your hard work.”

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Kashiwagi: “. . .”

Komai Family member: “Good evening. Head Kashiwagi.”

Kashiwagi: “. . . Komai Family? What’s this about?”

Komai Family member: “Hehehe . . . I would love to hear what you think of the Tojo Clan these days.”

Kashiwagi: “What are you trying to say.”

Komai Family member: “Terada of the Omi took the top spot . . . what are you doing on behalf of the young acting head?”

Kashiwagi: “. . .”

Komai Family member: “The old faces of the Tojo Clan have been crushed . . . moreover, it was ‘that’ Kiryu who nominated Terada. Can it be helped that the Kazama Family is believed to be a plague on the Tojo Clan . . . ?”

Kashiwagi: “Get to the point.”

Komai Family member: “I’m saying you can’t be entrusted to look after things! First we’ll take your territories . . . and then we’ll let you die here!!”

{Kashiwagi kicks his butt.}

Komai Family member: “What . . . ?! Eh? S-Strong . . . ?!”

Kashiwagi: “Right now the Tojo Clan’s backbone is shaky. There’s a roadblock in picking who’ll be in the inner circle. Terada’s true intentions cannot be measured, but it is a fact that he is the current chairman. He can’t make waves on his own without permission.”

Komai Family member: “Uugh . . .”

Kashiwagi: “Got it?”

Komai Family member: “Y-Yes . . . !”

{Kashiwagi leaves.}

Komai Family member: “The Head had such strength . . .  ?!”

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-END-

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CHAPTER 2

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|To continue, one day in 2006 . . .|

Kashiwagi: “Phew . . . Chief, thank you for the meal.”

Shopkeeper: “As always. Kashiwagi-san, you really like cold noodles.”

Kashiwagi: “I like cold noodles ‘here’.”

Shopkeeper: “Thank you.  . . . Is something troubling you?”

Kashiwagi: “. . . How do you know?”

Shopkeeper: “That’s because I’ve known you for more than 10 years. When you eat cold noodles silently and with great momentum, it’s usually when you’re worried about work.”

Kashiwagi: “. . . I’ve been placed in a position that doesn’t fit me and I don’t know how to maneuver around it . . . I’m putting you on the spot.”

Shopkeeper: “It’s okay. Kashiwagi-san, though you may look different compared to the old days . . . Nothing has changed inside. You can do things the way you want. Compassionate, respects justice . . . and unforgiving. You’re the kind of good yakuza that has become less common in this city. To me, at least.”

Kashiwagi: “. . . Heh. Thank you. I’ll drop by again.”

Shopkeeper: “Yeah! Looking forward to it!”

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Kashiwagi: “Phew . . . I ate too much . . .”

Komai Family member: “Did you enjoy your last supper? Kashiwagi . . .”

Kashiwagi: “It’s you guys again. Haven’t you learned your lesson yet?”

Komai Family member: “He, hehehe. I was a bit surprised the other day . . . Today, I’ve scrounged up all our footsoldiers. It’s not just my family, it’s a joint coup d’etat with five other direct line families. This time we’ll kill you and crush the Kazama Family for always getting in the way. Then all the Tojo Clan veterans will come together and kill everyone in Terada’s corner. That way, we will be the rulers of the Tojo Clan’s yakuza society . . . !”

Kashiwagi: “I’ll give you some advice. It’s impossible for you guys. It’s outside your capacity.”

Komai Family member: “You’re telling me that? You’re the one acting as a decorative Head!!”

Kashiwagi: “Is it useless to talk this out . . . ? I just arrived here . . . and ate too much just now.”

Komai Family member: “Huh??”

Kashiwagi: “I’m likely to get gastroptosis if I move in this state. I’m told by my doctor not to overdo it.”

Komai Family member: “You think you can afford to make light of this situation . . . the time for chatting is over. Oi! Kill! Everyone kill him!!”

{Kashiwagi kicks everyone’s butts again.}

Komai Family member: “S-Stupid . . . against this many people . . . !!”

Kashiwagi: “Is that all? I guess I didn’t have to worry about gastroptosis.”

Komai Family member: “. . . ku, kukuku . . . !”

Kashiwagi: “What’s so funny?”

Komai Family member: “I’m laughing at your stupidity . . . ! This coup is ‘simultaneous’. Not just here, but also the Kazama Family office and the Kazama Family territory. We’re attacking everywhere.”

Kashiwagi: “What . . . ?!”

Komai Family member: “Shouldn’t the shop you eat cold noodles at be on fire at around this time? Hyahyahyahyahya!”

Kashiwagi: “. . . . . . What did you say just now?”

Komai Family member: “I said, around this time that shop is . . .”

Kashiwagi: “Do you even hear what you’re saying?!?!”

Komai Family member: “Hii?! Ehh. No, that is, we’re burning the shop . . .”

Kashiwagi: “None of you move a single step from here. If you move . . . I’ll kill you.”

Komai Family member: “Y-Yes!!”

{Kashiwagi leaves.}

Komai Family member: “Wh-Whoa . . . !!”

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-END-

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CHAPTER 3

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|To continue, one day in 2006 . . .|

Shopkeeper: “S-Stop it!”

Tojo Clan member: “Keep going! Let’s go over high heat~!!”

Kashiwagi: “Wait!!!!”

Shopkeeper: “Ka-Kashiwagi-san . . . !!”

Tojo Clan member: “Huh?? Did the Komai Family guys fail . . . ?!”

Kashiwagi: “To have the nerve to burn down this shop . . . Are you ready?”

Tojo Clan member: “You’re surprisingly exercising your authority today, Head. Does it please you to the utmost?”

Shopkeeper: “Kashiwagi-san!”

Kashiwagi: “Don’t worry. It’s alright, I’ll do things my way.”

Tojo Clan member: “Everyone! Aim for a dazzling victory!! Just do it!!!!”

{Kashiwagi kicks more people’s butts.}

Tojo Clan member: “Th-That’s ridiculous . . . ?!”

Shopkeeper: “Kashiwagi-san! Are you okay?!”

Kashiwagi: “Heh. I’m just a bit worried about gastroptosis.”

Kazama Family footsoldier: “Boss!!”

Kashiwagi: “Oh. How’s the office?”

Kazama Family footsoldier: “It’s been cleaned up.”

Kashiwagi: “I appreciate your efforts.”

Kazama Family footsoldier: “Good grief . . . Boss didn’t show up at the office, so I figured you’d be here.”

Kashiwagi: “Heh. The office has you guys. There’s nothing to worry about.”

Kazama Family footsoldier: “. . . Hehe.”

Kashiwagi: “Oh, you guys!!”

Tojo Clan member: “Y-Yes?!”

Kashiwagi: “The Tojo Clan suddenly came under the control of people from the Omi . . . I understand how dissatisfied you all are. So, I take responsibility. I will not get rid of you.”

Tojo Clan member: “Eh . . . ?!”

Kashiwagi: “But Terada is the man Kiryu chose. I believe in Kiryu. You guys should believe too.”

Tojo Clan member: “Head . . . Far from blaming those of us who betrayed you, you lower your head instead . . . ?!”

Kazama Family footsoldier: “Hehe. compassionate, respects justice, unforgiving . . . and stronger than anyone! That’s our boss, Kashiwagi Osamu! Don’t you know?”

Tojo Clan member: “Uugh, kuh . . . ! What caliber . . . Please forgive us, Head!!”

Kazama Family footsoldier: “Hehehe. One situation has been dealt with, Boss.”

Kashiwagi: “Yeah. Now, how about we eat another bowl? Chief, could we?”

Shopkeeper: “Of course! I’ll show off my special skills today!”

Kashiwagi: “Heh. I’m looking forward to it!”

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-END-

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