#that being said i'm also hoping to (FINALLY) make a new discord server this year for my writing/OCs

[ravensroleplays]

Yeah so...I mentioned in a post that I reblogged some time back that I’m just going to keep my BATIM AU pretty much the same...I was toying around with some ideas for incorporating Audrey, and the events of BATDR into my AU, but in the end I was like ‘nah’, and decided to just leave my version as is (though I don’t mind doing threads with BATDR roleplayers, or even discussing ideas down the road!)

I will, however, be making one change to my main BATIM AU/verse--I realized it didn’t make any sense for Joey not to be happy with Bendy when he was basically perfect in every way, so I’m going to say that, when Bendy first came to the real world, his inky body would sometimes start to melt when he got too happy/excited. Think Dani from Danny Phantom, and her unstable body, but with a bit less angst (at least, until Joey decided to kill two birds with one stone regarding Bendy’s unstable toon body, and his own illness...)

TBH, at some point I may or may not look over ALL the verses for my various AUs, and scrap a few...a certain one in particular now being kind of redundant with my upcoming original story, Oasis to Oakwood, which I’m planning to start drawing more for next year. Though hey, given that I’m planning to focus more on my original stuff, as well as other things, in 2023, I’m admittedly not entirely sure how much I’m going to keep doing stuff for my AUs...

[megamattzx]

Finally getting the new server properly ready for Dragon Ball New Frontier.

Long story short, the original server got compromised when my original Discord account got hacked.

I had to make a new account and new servers all together.

Fortunately, one of our members was able to save all of the progress that we've made story wise as well as crucial story details, which would have led to a drastic redoing of New Frontier which would have been disastrous for the overall project.

This one resulted in a full-blown reboot and a full-blown reset, which would have thrown 3 years of progress down the drain. I'm glad to say that this will no longer be the case and only a soft reboot will be occurring now. I've been working on the server lately.

And fortunately we're making good progress and we're going to be getting ready to start up again. Dragon Ball New Frontier is a group story that I started working on back in March of 2021. Originally it was just me working on it and I was building the server.

Eventually, that began to change when a friend of mine that was in the server for sometime volunteered to help me out and I can never be more grateful to them. They focused on building the server rooms while I focused on the lore.

And although they eventually left the project for their own reasons, I never held it against them and was grateful for their contributions. I just wished I said it sooner. Few others were also involved as well and over time it became a team.

What originally was a Dragon Ball RP group story ended up becoming something much much more. The server became a fanon server overall. I createed an AO3 with the intention of expanding on the universe with prequel storylines.

For the most part, things were going well until the whole hacking situation. This led to my original server being compromised. If it wasn't for one of our team members saving as much of the information with the story and lore, that they could, things would be different.

New Frontier would have been scrapped completely and I would be starting all over again if it wasn't for them. They're the real MVP of this situation. All this time I've been rebuilding the server to try to make it what it once was or perhaps better.

Creating new ideas and experimenting with a soft reboot is far better than completely starting again from scratch. And I'm glad I don't have to cancel storylines I've already started working on. The server should be back up and running for the most part.

Explore the world of Dragon Ball like never before, and explore new twists of the various worlds of it, that you may not have expected. Encounter various versions of characters you're familiar with as well as new ones along the way. Battle as a Time Patroller, a member of the Red Ribbon Army, a Frieza Force Soldier, a Time Breaker, and so many others. Carve your own path as you interact with a much larger story in time. No matter how small your role may be, the fate of the Omniverse is in your hands.

And with that, in advance, it is my deepest pleasure and greatest honor, to rewelcome you into the exciting New and improved world of Dragon Ball New Frontier!

Hope to see you there!

https://discord.com/invite/eYHNEzFJSz

[bubsub69]

Entry 22

10/10/2023 00:20

I dont understand, I finally have someone, why am i not feeling different, I thought I'd at least feel something from having a goddess but it just feels fake, it feels like I'm faking it, like shes faking it why cant I just be happy with it. Im probably overreacting, these things are about trust and after having so so many people asking for money I dont feel like i can trust anyone. When she first started talking to me I answered her questions on autopilot, I didnt care about anything, it was just like i was filling a form, I had other people approach then ask for money on discord hours before she contacted me, how was i suposed to know she was gonna be the one that didnt require them, and thats the thing she said:

So just to be clear between us. I won't be asking you to pay tribute probably because you're in college.but that doesn't mean you shouldn't show your mistress appreciation out if your own free will whenever your mistress deserve to be gifted. Hope we're clear on that. I don't do findom.

So does she expect me to pay at some point? is that her plan? play the long game have me hooked to her so i cant refuse paying her or i risk losing her? I havent received any verification from her either which isnt helping especially since ive sent pictures to her, and she refused a videocall for me to lock myself because I "hadnt earned it", she also found me im assuming from the chaster server but shes never posted there before, fuck writing this is making me distrust her more and more. Shes trying to get to know me she… might be doing it so i get feelings for her and pay up.. GOD DAMN MY FUCKING INSECURITY WHY CANT I JUST TRUST HER. I'd rather be happy now and cry later than be miserable now and cry later anyway if she ordered me to pay.

I dont even know if she enjoys this, she has multiple servants so that doesnt help.. she takes a long time to reply. while she isnt really the degrading type, actually shes been calling me good girl a lot but that just feels hollow.. maybe i should try to ask to be called good boy, that sounds a lot better in my head, but shes into feminization and sissification what if she doesnt agree or stops liking me because of it, i need to talk to her about this were suposed to be honest to each other but im so scared of her losing interest in me i dont know if i should tell her goddamnit im such a piece of shit to her. im not even being honest about her being the only one cause im also kinda doing a chaster session, but that ends when the timer runs out but still im being dishonest with her, the one fucking requirement in a healthy relationship and i cant even give that to her, i was right before i dont deserve to be in a relationship, im not mature enough for it, if i cant even give her honesty, nor can i trust her, nor feel anything when i do submissive tasks. Im such a piece of shit.

School has been troubling as well, the theory classes are so soul crushingly boring, i just delivered my first project that came out like shit cause i was incapable of working on it and procastinated for 90% of the time, this whole year ive been struggling to work or study in anyway while home im gonna be fucked arent i

So much for happy entries.. i wasnt even happy when i wrote it yesterday just mildly hopeful, i hope this changes soon, please let me be happy with her, plese.. let me forget about D as well Im so sick of being stuck thinking about someone that doesnt care about me. I wish i at least lived close to the new goddess so i could at least entertain the ideia of meeting up and cuddling or something, god that would be nice

[kakujis]

ah, that would be great because i actually searched cpl on urbam dictionary before i asked lol and i typed in a super formal way so that doesn't help either. apparently, the archive also glitches via the app too, tumblr definitely need to divert their focus from desktop to the app.

that's true, leander must be a hard cookie to pull of that feat and leander does seem like the type where you'll always guess what his next move will be. that's a good point considering kuras was able to attach the mc arm back to her body and make it almost brand new. his background would probably be the most important one.

i think their will probably be release when their character designs are finally confirmed/done but considering the game is coming out in 2025, we might get their sheets in 2024 :(

it's a bit hard to figure out vere's relationship with kuras and their dynamic since we didn't see them properly interact as a pair in the demo but it just goes to show how smart the studio is with dropping the right hints/clues for everyone to be head over the game.

mhin's relationship with the senobium also seem complex too so their and kuras/vere might be interlinked together in a certain way. well, i just hope that the game doesn't get delay to 2026 or something considering it's such a small studio. the demo took them two years to make.

that would be a sweet drabble to read and mhin's outfit is a nice finishing touch too. canva is a useful tool to make something like that, it's easy to use. that's true but i feel like with ais, he can afford to take that risk with his behaviour considering he does have the soulless as his servants.

i get where you're considering from because vere's outfit definitely seem to be the most gender neutral among the cast. i agreed with you but i feel like the studio chose the palette/outfit that suited the personality most of each character. but i feel like mhin got black streaks in their hair or may just be the roots or maybe i'm just overthinking it.

i will try not to esp irl but i feel like just from my replies to you/texting style, any fan can see that i mimics/or similar to mhin in some way lol. i actually said to my friend irl that if i send her text messages like you're my bff and i love you and stuffs like that, you would think my phone had been hacked and she was like i really would, LMAO.

that's nice! i find that easy to believe because you give those vibes off a lot on tumblr and just from your general replies with me. i slightly know about seventeen (kpop fan many years ago) it is awkward but at the same time, i'm pretty sure that his stage name (?) how did you get into kpop though?

tbh, i do wish that some otome games would focus on the breakup of platonic love because dealing/accepting it can be quite hard esp the aftermath. that's a great idea! it's hard to find that content altogether in most fandoms so that would be interesting to read and the representation too. what fem characters do you have in store? (if you don't mind revealing them)

it is annoying but sometimes, the studio use it as a trope to create conflict in the character troupe but there are other way to do that, they just need to brainstorm more ideas.

er, i would find that terrifying and morbid but i'm not a proper ais stan. well, leander was the only one with blushing/shy emojis so you are heading in the right direction regarding him. i suppose in that situation, it would be a lot easier for leander to play the victim card too like he could say i look after you so much, why are you being mean then? to the mc or something along those lines.

i think there are some yan! servers that you can join on discord to get help from other writes or just general advice if you want to improve. tbh, i remember seeing a yan! request regarding three characters from TR and one was Chifuyu but the writer replied i cannot do him because i can't imagine him as a yandere at all so it does happen!

what's nightowl? i think kazutora is a great candidate considering how unhinged he was in season 1. the best thing about ao3 is that the platform have a feature that tell you how many users had read your fics!

i'm looking forward to them! are they oneshots or headcanons? well, idm sharing because my username is different on ao3 but my writing style is quite particular and i'm not entirely sure whether you're a bnha fan but my tr fic is quicker to read compare to my bnha one.

i dk how to add links in an ask or if it's even possible so i'll just copy and paste them down below.

here you go!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45210508/chapters/113736610

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42966936/chapters/107953710

i played the demo late at night so i didn't notice these things unless that was mention in the other origins route (?) he is and i do like how he give others a chance otherwise i'm sure he wouldn't want to know mhin.

it definitely sound like sen is super cursed then and she's most likely to appear in leander route the most. well, even his character design play that stereotype but anything can happen. i know who reo is LMAO.

well where i live, there was an event that increased the general price for postage/shipping so that's probably a factor but it is a bit too much for fans outside North America.

i never heard of paku romi so i can't make a comment on that but i trust your judgement! do you think the voice acting would only be the scenes with the CGs? at this rate, i wouldn't be surprised if the studio run out ideas for stretch goals lol.

that's a nice mindset to have and that's completely true, do you have any posters in your room? i got mini one where my count is probably 20 and i'm getting more soon. what's breed is your dog? well, anything is possible! what's your favourite game?

i suppose that it's not shocking because it's technically a form of fanservice but i do feel like the female characters are sexualised more.

i know about obey me as a game but the notifications would overwhelm me and i deleted/reinstalled the game a few times and seeing the amount was like hell/trying to catch up for me so i gave up LMAO. are you an obey me fan?

really? wow, i have undermind the power of obey me, i did not realised that some fans were super devoted like that towards the game.

he actually would but we may get a cg of mhin smiling towards the end but his bad ending might be really good nightmare fuel. i think all those tiers are gone but i felt like the best one was the sketch commission.

heyo nonnie, sorry this reply took a bit!! i feel like tumbly will always be glitchy lool, i've been on here for soo long even back then it was super glitchy!

yes! even though ais is my favorite, i think kuras and mhin have the most interesting back stories for me! especially kuras like, what are u hiding angel man?! not gonna lie, sort of hoping the chara sheets come earlier than that. i think they might to keep interest!! also what i found interesting during the demo is that vere was able to stay within the same space as kuras though, during the tavern scene!

from what i got from mhin's dialogue, i think mhin may have been a student at the senobium who was kicked out? or something along those lines! and i agree with the delay, but i'm also thinking that i could handle a delay in order to get the best finished product!

also eee, ngl i've used canva maybe once or twice and it's soo confusing to use for me *_*... i'm really bad at any type of editing or graphics, so i try to find premade things... but i really do wanna start making better banners for fics and such T_T.

eee i still have that ais drabble i'm working on but i feel like i'm in such a creative rut lately!! not sure why. >..< yes yes i agree! each outfit is def tailored to them <3 and they all look soo good eee. i was just thinking mhin stands out a ton for me personally!! also do they? i have to play the demo again soon! oo how i'd love to cosplay vere someday <3!!

LOL no worries!! talk how you talk, if u talk like mhin then soo be it! and LOL, that's so funny!! i used to be a lot like that, but sprinkle in a ton of social awkardness + anxiety, so whenever i'd say something kind or nice my sisters would message me back like: are you okay? mentally and physically? ┐(‘～` )┌

ah which kpop groups were u into??? also, i used to play a game called audition online (OOF REALLY OUTING MYSELF HERE!!) and there were toons of kpop songs on there! i naturally fell into it that way :'). i was a big 2nd gen fan and did listen to some of 3rd gen, but not much. love love love jun from seventeen tho ehe. like whenever i see him i'm just like: ♡ (￣З￣)

ahh i see what you mean, i think the aftermath of platonic breakups hurts a lot more than romantic ones! (at least for me! but i've only gone thru one serious break up :p). and AAA well, definitely yuzuha from tokrev since she's my favorite!! but i'd love to write for the other tokrev ladies especially senju <3. i'm also a big mt. lady fan from bnha so maybe her as well ^^; idk why i'm suddenly blanking on my favorite charas LOL.

ahh see, i reeeallly love monster designs and stuff! claymore is one of my favorite series of all time and there's tons of monsters + body horror characters within it. i also really like blood and violence (fantasy ofc), so thats probably why i gravitated towards ais. but omg.. when u first meet mhin and they reach their hand out- im gonna pass out goodbye!! OMG you are SO RIGHT on leander's dialogue!!! ugh there is so much juicy potential with these charas i'm!!

ah.. i would i join a discord server, but i'm genuinely very very shy ;//;. i'm in a ton right now and i barely talk in them. even after a good convo, it's hard for me to start again cause i overthink a TON! also, nightowl is a character from the game blooming panic! it's a free game on itch.io! you should give it a try, you essentially join a discord server and fall in love with one of the members. which member you get depends on your dialogue choices too! i remember wanting to get quest first but i got nightowl and i was HOOKED from there, eep. <333

yes yes! i was thinking of that kazutora! obviously of age, but i think unhinged kazutora was so sexy eee. same with izana!!! AHDSFSDJF i love love love izana. wbu? also i really do need to get on with uploading my fics to ao3, i'll try to do that this weekend!

they're both oneshots! they're on here ... somewhere, i think they're listed on my masterlist? i'm really bad at self reblogging so they kinda just fade off into the distance oops! also i got the links!!! i'm not able to read them fully rn, brain too mushy from school...╥﹏╥ BUT i do have them opened up in another tab and i read a bit from both and what a wonderful writing style you have!! <333

i think it was mentioned somewhere in a post about him but i'm not entirely sure eep. i'm going to give the demo another go through tonight, probably on the alchemist origin and see if i pick anything new up!! i wanna know who brought sen back!! was probs the senobium but still! arghh tell me nowww red spring studios!!! alsoo, i'm TERRIFIED im gonna get mhin's bad end.. i feel like i always fail with these types of characters LOL. but smiley mhin <333 i'd die for that eee!!

oo! so have u watched blue lock or read it? if so what are ur thoughts on it? ^^ argh sorry about the shipping! hopefully in the future it'll be more affordable D:... i've seen that a lot with toons of brands, especially smaller ones where the shipping is double the amount that the product itself is which is INSANE!!

personally, i think the voice acting would be only for cgs or special scenes! like unless they did unvoiced main protagonist video game style and added in grunts, laughs, etc. for the LIs but i think that would be odd? and same here LOL, idk what else they could do for stretch goals!

i do! i just haven't hung them up LMFAOO. theyre literally sitting in a corner like "hello... anyone here??" i have a bleach painting of ichigo kurosaki <333 and a bnha poster! what posters do you have? and my pup is a bichon frise!

hmm, for favorite game it's probably ... dragon age: origins. i've replayed that game soo many times, i've been itching for another playthrough heh. besides that... stardew valley, dragon's dogma, and ffxiv definitely! what about you? you have any favorite games?

yess fem charas are sexualized soo much! i won't lie tho, i do have a kind of inappropriate figure of shion from that time i got reincarnated as a slime! i wanted it sooo bad, but i cant even display it i'm soo embarrassed hahha.

yes!! i'm a big obey me fan! LOL NGL i have over 100+ texts from the demon bros i just don't even read em anymore. sometimes i'll click the most interesting one buut, idk its so much reading damn. i'm so behind on the main story omg. but like, they keep coming out with side events that i wanna play!! its so hard to keep up! i used to play their ooolllddd dating sims from when they did the Shall We Date? series, i installed like every single one and was so into them. idk why i didn't get into obey me sooner eep.

yes the obey me fandom is mind boggling sometimes!!! i know the seiyuus go to anime expo and i wanna go sometime and meet mammon's seiyuu in person!! hes so cute!!! we're getting a new game called, obey me: nightbringer. and we're going back in time for this one!

[randomgamefan]

Playtester AU is finally back after I had to spend forever focusing on essays for school!! Yay!!

First | Previous | Next (coming soon!)

This chapter took so long, but chapter 6 will probably take longer and I'm not prepared wjdheksj. Big thanks to the Inscryption discord server for beta reading a chunk of this fic to help me find the problems lmao, hope it's improved guys!

Also! Luke's Siblings are mentioned in this chapter, for reference his family is based vaugly off my own! But I figure it's good to have them down so you know who I'm talking about :]

In order from oldest to youngest!

Luke - 21

Carter - 19

Jacob - 17

Alyssa - 15

Jack + Abagail (twins) - 12

I do want to give credit to @shiocreator for letting me use the name Carter! It was her idea, and I just loved it so much I had to include it. Also, if you haven't read their Carder Siblings AU, what are you even doing?

While we're here, I'm also going to tell you to read @lemonzone 's Cabinet Man AU, I literally love it so much! Stolen my entire brain smh.

I am so happy I've got to meet both of these people and read their writing, as well as everyone else on the server! Y'all are so amazing and kind and this story wouldn't be what it is without you.

Anyways, that's all I've gotta say, hope you enjoy this chapter!

"Luuuke!"

It was Christmas morning.

That was the first thing that came back to Luke, maybe out of habit, since that’s all he focused on when he was younger. Truthfully, he was still just a kid on the inside. Or, perhaps, it was because he was hoping for something great this year.

Or, maybe, he was just trying to remember why the crowd of his younger siblings were here to wake him up at only 7:00 in the morning.

"Wake up!" Carter repeatedly chanted, holding a rolled piece of paper to his mouth like a megaphone.

Jack and Abagail had no hesitation jumping on Luke’s bed, making him sit up rapidly with a laugh. 

Jacob and Alyssa stood aside Carter, chuckling to themselves as the twins stole a hug from Luke. 

"I'm up, I'm up!" Luke managed with a giggle, ruffling his younger sister's hair. "Jeeze, real early this year, huh? Have you guys woken up mom and dad yet?"

Jacob shook his head. "We were waiting for you, sleepyhead!" He teased. 

Luke sighed dramatically, falling back onto his bed. "oh no! Guess we can't get up, I'm going back to sleep!" He closed his eyes, much to the dismay of the twins. 

"Come on, Luke!" Jack huffed. "It's Christmas!!"

Luke peeked one eye open, before laughing. 

"Alright, but next year I get to sleep in! I'm an old man, I need my beauty rest." He said, swinging his legs out of bed before picking Jack up and putting him on his shoulders. 

"You're only 20," Alyssa commented with a chuckle, looking up from her phone with a grin. 

"I know, and I'm already an old man, guess what you'll be going through in 6 years!" Luke replied, ruffling his younger sister’s hair.

Carter rolled his eyes, as he began to lead the group into the hallway.

Luke's mind drifted to Christmas itself as they walked to wake up their parents - he probably had a lot of card packs underneath the tree. His channel had just exploded last month, and well, for card pack opening channels, there was a constant need to have more card packs. 

Still, there was one thing he was really hoping was waiting down there for him - the new Tengu party game. Being an online game, it was the perfect way for Luke to keep playing games with his siblings while he was away at college. 

Welp, guess he'd just have to find out for himself, watching Abagail tear through their parent’s door. 

"Wake up, it's Christmas!"

It was summer again.

Luke's family always went on a summer vacation, usually something small in idea, but their mom had a tendency to splurge for her kids. 

This year, they were out at a lake in a rental house. It was large enough for the family of 8, they had enough space and then more. 

Past midnight, most of the family was asleep, but Luke and Carter had snuck out to go sit by the lake.

"It really is beautiful," Carter commented, gazing out across the ripping water. The lake wasn't huge, but far large enough for the kids to enjoy. 

Luke nodded. "It is.. I'm glad I got to come. When I was younger, I figured mom would stop inviting me to these things when I turned 18."

Carter chuckled. "Like mom would ever do that! We love you, and she already misses you enough since you left for college."

"Same can be said for you!" Luke grinned. "I've heard Alyssa talking about it, she said mom missed you more than me."

"Now that's just a lie." Carter giggled, shoving at his older brother, not enough for him to end up in the lake though. Luke couldn't help but laugh, staring back out at the rippling water in silence.

There was a good 5 or so minutes of quiet before Carter spoke up again. 

"Hey Luke?"

"Hm?" Luke ruffled his brother’s hair.

"How do you do it? Living alone in a new town, especially so close to the woods like that. Aren't you scared?"

"Not really." Luke shrugged. "I've got a big gate outside the house, and the only thing in those woods is crickets and deer. Most people wouldn't bother coming up the driveway, past the gate, and to my door to bother me. Plus, I've been thinking about getting a dog."

Carter chuckled. "Oh my god, we would visit so much more often if you had a dog. Please get one."

"This time I get to name it! Thank god" Luke grinned. They had a family dog named Crackers, named by the twins when they were little. 

"Well, obviously you would get to name it, it would be your dog." Carter rolled his eyes. "But Crackers is a good name if you’re not dramatic."

The brothers took a moment to laugh, before Carter paused, frowning in thought.

"Actually, I brought that up because.. I've been thinking of switching degrees. Maybe even schools."

Luke blinked. "Wait, really?" Carter had been interested in biology his entire life, ranting and raging about all the discoveries he could make in the field. He'd never gotten a chance to explore it much before college, but from his determination, Luke would never have guessed that Carter wouldn’t love it.

"Yeah, actually. Bio just doesn't stick out like it used to, and there's so much I've found that I'm just.. squeamish about."

"Well, what degree are you thinking of?"

Carter paused, before shyly suggesting, ".. game development?"

Luke's eyes lit up, realizing quickly what his brother was implying. "Wait, are you saying you'd be coming to my school?" He felt himself grinning. 

"I-If you're okay with it!" Carter said quickly.

Luke hugged his brother. "Of course I'm okay with it, You can even come live with me! A lot cheaper than the dorms." 

Carter grinned. "Yeah, I'd like that!"

Luke sighed, looking out on the waves. 

"Guess we've got a lot to plan for."

Carter nodded. 

"Yeah, we do."

Luke woke with a start, sitting up quickly, only to find himself buried under some rather scratchy blankets. A soft surprised noise came from his right, and glancing over, he noticed Lone watching over him.

Oh right, Luke was in the final game he ever played, the cursed thing. Oh yeah, he was dead too! He put a hand to his head, squeezing his eyes shut.

He'd never see his family again, he'd never get to finish college, he'd just drop off the face of the earth. God.. how could this have happened? He should have never dug up this cursed game, much less played it. It should have stayed in the dirt. 

The feeling of someone touching his hair startled Luke out of his thoughts. Lone flinched back, with a startled "sorry!"

The wizard was quite small, eyeing Luke fearfully yet curiously. Poor thing probably just wanted some stimulation, he must not have been out of his horrible situation for long. 

Luke sighed, reaching over to pat the wizard on his head, which he seemed to enjoy immensely. After maybe a minute, Luke chuckled, pulling his hand back.

"Why did ya stick around here, bud?" Luke asked, pushing the uncomfortable blankets off him, only to notice he was laying on more. Did Magnificus have anything good for other people in this god-forsaken tower? 

"P03 and the other scrybes asked me to watch over you!" He chirped, bouncing in place. 

Luke nodded. "I see.. I assume they're probably fighting over something else now."

Lone gave an overdramatic shrug, with a half yelled “I’unno!” He fidgeted with his hands a lot, which made Luke wonder if Lone would prefer something to hold and mess with. Did they have Rubick cubes here? That seemed like something the small wizard would enjoy, not even to solve, but to mess with. He’d have to find out, give Lone something to do.

"I'm.. going to go find them. I need an explanation." Luke muttered softly, as if assuring himself.

"I'LL COME WITH!" Lone practically yelled, jumping up and down. It was an excitability that honesty reminded Luke of the twins. He smiled softly and genuinely, before offering Lone his hand. 

"Alright, bud, we'll go and find them together!"

Lone continued to bounce excitedly, taking Luke's hand as the two began looking around for the scrybes, though Luke could guess where they were by the sounds of argument coming from above.

Up the stairs, to the top of the tower.

They were fighting.

Luke didn't know what else he was expecting. 

Magnificus and P03 were shouting at each other from opposite sides of the circular room, looking about ready to brawl. Leshy and Grimora stood near the back, avoiding Magnificus' canvases, and apparently the two other scrybes. No one had noticed Luke in the doorway yet.

“I do not think jumping to conclusions is the best source of action here,” Mangnificus muttered, his voice steady yet with an accusatory tone. 

“Jumping to conclusions?!” P03 countered. “I think it’s pretty damn obvious. Unless you have found a way for us to move forward without a challenger.”

“Hmm, perhaps not, but I still believe it is not unimaginable that there is something we can do. Something that doesn’t have irreparable side effects, such as your last idea.” The scrybe of magicks seemed to glare across the room.

"And what plan do you have?" P03 asked Magnificus accusatorially with almost a growl, as much as a robot could conceivably growl. “I have already attempted to connect with the servers of wherever we are, and it’s all locked down. If you all hadn’t stopped the Great Transcendence, we could all be out of this mess already!” 

“Your ‘Great Transcendence’ was nothing more than a power show.” The bush wizard bit back. “Its failure was inevitable, you effete contraption.”

“Wow, insults again? That really helps your case, you blundering wizard. If y-”

Luke's babysitter instincts kicked in before he really had a chance to think about it, stepping in the room to get in between the two. 

"Alright, enough." He said firmly. 

This was treated with a great deal of surprise from everyone around the room, the scrybes taking a step back. Had Luke really just done that? Well, no way back now. 

"You fighting clearly didn't get you guys anywhere before, and it won't now. If you want anything productive to happen, you all need to work together. No more power grabs, or arguments, or sly planning behind the scenes." He took a deep breath, noticing Grimora nodding with a sly smile. "But, after all that, I need a fucking explanation. *Especially* from you." He pointed to Grimora, whose smile dropped.

Luke was shaking. This was a lot to process, and he was shaking. Did he just treat the scrybes like his little siblings? 

P03 and Magnificus glared at each other, neither wanting to relent. However, Grimora stepped in before either could open their mouths to bitch back at their surprise babysitter. 

"I agree with Luke.” She said, her voice calming and steady. “Now, will the both of you please come over here? Enough with this pointless argument."

That got a grumbled "fine" from the scrybes, muttering under their breath what Luke could only imagine were curses much older than he was. The scrybes mostly kept their distance from one another, but now stood in a manageable circle. 

Luke sighed.. thank god that worked. He went to stand alongside the edge of the circle, by the door. Admittedly, he didn’t quite like being in the spotlight, at least in real life. 

As he went to stand near the doorway he had entered through, Luke noticed a mischievous Lone had started climbing onto everything around him and had begun poking at the candles lighting up the tower. Luke would have to make sure he grabbed the small wizard on his way out, not trusting Magnificus to make sure Lone didn’t burn himself to a crisp. 

Luke took a deep breath, returning his attention to the scrybes, who were seemingly looking to him to start this ‘peaceful’ meeting. He took a deep breath, readying himself before speaking up.

"Alright. Let's talk."

[jimkirkachu]

Hey Jim, I'm really proud of you for coming out to your family & I'm sorry they're not making the effort to help you understand yourself. I know how difficult it is to settle into your identity is when you have to figure it out yourself & having people repeatedly misgender you makes it even harder. I also hope you don't take the negative AO3 comment to heart & just delete it. I'm sure if you read the rest of your inbox, you'll be pleasantly surprised!

Oh my friend 🫂💔😭💙💛 thank you so much for your encouragement. You're so kind and good to me and I don't deserve it but I love you so much 🫂💜😭😭😭

(gender stuff, fandom-related insecurity/paranoia/self-pity ahead)

People have told me before that it's okay for me to vent here because nobody is being forced to read this crap or follow me, but I still feel like a douche canoe any time I complain here about anything that has to do with my "real life," because I'm so incredibly fortunate and privileged. At least outwardly, my (closest) family has accepted my nb-ness / questioning and I'm overwhelmingly grateful for that. I haven't been disowned, or kicked out of the house, or laughed at... like I said, enormous unearned privilege/good fortune. And ironically, having a few people "in the know" who are still talking to/about me the way they did for 31 years, while frustrating, has genuinely been helping me better understand that I definitely don't identify with my birth-assigned gender or its pronouns anymore, if I ever really did at all. 🤔 It seems to be a matter now of "how long can I continue to pretend the misgendering doesn't bother me when it's coming from my parents," because, lest we forget, I'm still intensely nonconfrontational, afraid of being an inconvenience or a burden to others, terrified of taking up space or standing up for myself, and thoroughly convinced of my own utter worthlessness. 😬

As for the ao3 comment that I have no doubt blown way out of proportion 🤦😣 I'm... I don't know. It has finally taken a backseat in my mind to other concerns, so that's an improvement. But it's going to take a long time to dust myself off from all of this; the comment in question was really just the straw that broke my back after spending the last 2 years having an extremely prolonged existential crisis in regards to my "place" (or lack thereof) in the fandom. I've been feeling really bad/lousy/insecure about my work and my ability to "fit in" or contribute (without also annoying people to death) ever since an incident in the 2020 big bang discord server got under my skin and has just kept on burrowing into my mind and soul like a poisoned splinter ever since.

I don't write fics that are appropriate / desirable / worthy of inclusion in zines or rec lists or what-have-you. I don't know anything about any of the new Trek series or characters or timelines or whatever the hell else because I went and got my ptsd triggered while watching season 1 of Discovery and had to promise myself not to watch anything else produced by the current franchise-runners in the interest of self-preservation. And original series K/S is my only ship, my only fandom interest, the only [hyper-]fixation I've had for at least 6 years now. The harsh fact that I'm simply out of touch and irrelevant has been making me question why I'm even still trying to maintain any kind of online presence at all... and yet my fics and my online friends here have been essentially the only things that have motivated me to keep Living in the last 4+ years. 🤔 So... I'm a mess all over, and not just because of that comment (it clearly didn't help matters any, though). 🤦🤷 (And yet and yet... being a mess is my Thing, like, it's the one thing I'm consistently good at. So although it sucks, I'm also accustomed to it, in a lot of ways. 🙁😬👍)

Thank you, as always, dear, for being my friend and saying such sweet, generous things. I love you (and everybody who has put up with the pain of knowing/interacting with me 💜), and given the especially difficult past few months (both personally and in regards to the state of the US and the world), I'm just really, really grateful to know I'm not alone. 💜🫂💜🫂 Take care, you. 🖖🫂💛💙

[ruby3818]

I have something I really need to get off my chest that I’ve put off for years now but can’t ignore anymore. Under a read more so you can skip it and tagged #negative so you can block it. Maybe this might clear some things up or at least get my side of the story out there. Please read this before making any decision about me from what you’ve heard from someone else.

I am aware that Cap, who I used to be friends with but had to leave the friendship because of their controllive obsession with me is still saying lies about how I “abandoned them” in public forums. Even going as far as to ask my franticshipping mutuals to block me (how she knows who my mutuals are is anyone's guess since I’ve had her blocked for over three years now??). If you see her do this please stop enabling them!! Over the years people have made her feel ok to get aggressive about my very existence and tell her that they are “valid” for feeling jealousy. All it does is reassure her that it is ok to behave like that and not be held accountable for their actions. Cap does not need validation, she needs help.

I have begged her multiple times over the past few years to leave me alone and stop saying stuff about me on public forums but every time she promises to stop I hear from someone else that they're still doing it. Things like; making up stuff that I apparently said in a dream treated as fact, telling my mutuals to block me, saying that I’ve apparently replaced her, telling everyone that I abandoned her, etc.

Because of her I not only lost them as a friend but every single other friend I had because they either believe the lies or they're scared of upsetting Cap who flies into a rage at the very mention of me.

I really tried to help her and then when the jealousy, gas lighting, violent mood swings and controlling behavior got too much for me and everyone else who tried to help I had to do what was best for both of us and leave the friendship.

I've tried for three years now to be the better person and not talk about what should be our personal problems but it's just blown up in my face with no one believing me or wanting to get involved and everyone enabling them (which is triggering to irl experiences but that's another story).

And I do understand that maybe a lot of this frustration I feel is because of the pattern of people abusing me and then everyone around me forcing me to forgive them and be around them for the sake of their feelings leading to the same damn cycle of me being helpless and feeling like a burden for not putting up with it.. It just sucks that even online I have to deal with it when this should be a safe place away from all that. But I also know what emotional abuse looks like due to irl experiences and I know that this is not acceptable behavior. This is abuse. And the only way to stop an abuser is to get their behavior out in the open and have other people know what they’ve been doing.

It also really sucks that the whole reason I couldn’t stand being friends with her was because I wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone else and if I did they would blow into a rage and yet 3 whole years later I still am not allowed to talk to anyone otherwise I’m “replacing them” leading her to tell any potential new friends to block me (Somehow she is finding out who my new mutuals are on Tumblr, Twitter and Discord and dm’ing them to block me which is what some of these mutuals have come forward to tell me). She still has that control over me and I’m sick of it. I just want to move on.

I hate having to tip toe around the fandom not knowing what they’ve said about me to mutuals. I just want to be able to talk to people and have them know the full story and not some fabricated story of abandonment or random crap I apparently said in a dream of theirs.

As for what they did in the past, here’s my side of the story and why I had to leave the friendship;

They would always get jealous when I talked to other people and threaten to kill them self because "I'm just going to replace them". It became such a constant thing that I couldn’t even talk at all in a public server without there being a big drama about it. They even ended up being banned from Specord for their constant harassment of me.

Whenever I would bring this up and ask her (or beg) to not get upset and let me talk to people they would act like they had no idea what I was talking about and say that my depression is making me think crazy things. Even though other people saw it and I also had screenshots I still believed them because (being mentally ill) I really can't trust myself. I've been gas-lighted by people in my family my whole life so this was too triggering to handle on a daily basis so I needed out of the friendship.

She constantly suicide-baited me into taking her back and then made every conversation we had about suicide and self harm. Whenever she felt bad about something I said to her in a dream or if I talked to someone else she would tell me happily how she cut herself “for me” because it was supposed to show me that she loved me and that she somehow deserved it. The constant talk of suicide became too triggering to my own mental health and struggle with suicidal thought that I had to get out of the relationship.

For so long they would make up lies about how I abandoned them leading me to receive death threats from strangers telling me to kill myself, people blocking me and all my friends no longer talking to me so it doesn't upset them. So in the end they still had that control over me.

They even told me in our last conversation (over two years ago) that they were right for overreacting over me talking to anyone else besides them because I "shouldn't be talking to other people anyway". They even went as far to tell me that they hated how I was "popular" and basically wanted to be like me whilst also destroying me.

I know that I could of been a better friend but with my c-ptsd and her own mental health problems it just became a toxic mix. The very mention of my name or seeing my posts or comments at all just sends her into violent mood-swings. I couldn’t handle being emotionally abused on a daily basis and I needed out of the relationship. And I get that they still have friends that care about them, that’s good! They’re going to need the support if they’re ever going to improve as a person and move on from this.

So what is the point of this post? Well mostly just to get this pent up helplessness out into the open so maybe someone might understand. The other reason is that I am sick to death of having to be known as the bad guy just because I tried to do what I thought was the right thing by walking away. I want to be able to makes friends and not have to worry about Cap finding out and sabotaging it for me. I want the hate asks to stop. I want people who I thought were my friends to stop blocking me because of something they heard.

This is a selfish request but I also want people to stand up to her for once and stop her from spreading lies about me in public and feeding her delusions. I want her to know that she can’t bully, manipulate and emotionally abuse people in to a friendship and that she doesn’t get to decide who I can interact with. But mostly I hope that by getting this out in the open maybe this might finally come to an end and we can both move on.

Naturally she’s gone and deleted all of her dm’s with me but I do still have some screen shots that might help people understand. I won’t include any dm’s with other users but my DM’s are open if you need more clarification.

First off her finally agreeing to tell the truth (which she never ended up doing evidentely)

She always worshiped me as someone I wasn’t and thought that she had to be like me to be a successful person but it ended up blowing up into a full blown obsession around being me.

She always said she acknowledged that how she treated me was wrong but she still kept doing it like she couldn’t control herself... I kept thinking that maybe her therapy would help her and we could go back to how it was before but she just kept getting worse with her obsession.

This was the other Cap.. the one that wouldn’t acknowledge what she was doing at all and would tell me I was making it up out of paranoia

These are some screenshots that were sent to me of some of the stuff she was saying about me on other servers?? She would always treat the stuff that I did in her dreams as stuff I actually said but, idk how to control what I say in her dreams?? I would never in my life say this kind of stuff about anyone??

Due to the pic limit I will include other screenshots in a reblog.

If you need any more clarification or just want to talk don’t be afraid to ask. Hopefully this can be cleared up finally and I can be free from her control. She needs to be held accountable for her actions and she needs to move on for the sake of her own mental health as well as for mine.

[witchcraftingboop]

Further Insight on Briar's Recent Discourse & Prim's Apparent Grooming of Younger, Newer Witches

It was suggested to me that instead of making one long post (which I was genuinely sorry for creating in the moment as well), that I should offer the second half in a separate one so that it is easier to share and harder to simply ignore as a wall of text.

Here is the link to the first half of the current JBird and Briar discourse floating around. I highly encourage everyone involved in the Witchblr community to review both posts and not just this final addition. 

Regarding Prim stirring the pot, I actually do have proof of that on my page somewhere if you wouldn't mind my sending it to you? The person I reblogged it from, Mahi, also received death threats from Prim when they were only 16 and Prim was 20 (I can't ask him to share that though because Prim has since used her following to drive him off of Tumblr and he's still fairly [and justifiably] sensitive about it.)

Regarding Briar's statements more specifically though, I can see where the confusion is coming from. After the "in France" part, she's just defining a relevant term (hence the use of "irrelevant details) and then giving an explanation of how she came to be so knowledgeable about that term/concept. I wouldn't say she's calling Prim's activism an "irrelevant detail," but pointing out how Prim uses it as a shield against backlash whenever another blog (not just tradcrafters) calls out her platform. I don't expect you to fully understand or see what I mean when I say that, of course. Because you are still new, and these are habits I've observed of hers from nearly a year of following their interactions. I would, however, like to point out that Briar doesn't say anything racist about Prim and does not once bring up her race. In fact, I think if you read her entire post and not just point 3 as Prim has it cropped out in all of her mentions of it, you would see more fully the depth and amount of frustration Briar is trying to express. Similarly, Briar never threatened to dox Prim. She has, in fact, repeatedly tried to point out that Prim should be protecting her online information and be more aware of how to stop others from finding out about her private life/situation. These statements, however, have since been warped by Prim and her followers to come off as a threat on her life. Briar's statements above aren't a threat of doxxing. She's never once posted Prim's personal information or told others to find it or use it in any way. She has, however, searched for Taglocks on Prim, something witches especially are known to look for. In that search she found more than she was even looking for, despite trying to tell Prim repeatedly to stop being so open online with the information she posts about herself. Doxxing though is not racist. It is something used by them, sure, but it is not inherently racist.

Additionally, Prim has raised money, sure, but I still have not seen any actual receipts as to her *actually* donating it to any public or private organizations. This, for me, is highly suspect. In reality, we still have no idea where that money is. Whereas with Briar, she took no money in for a couple days on her readings and instead merely asked that those requesting a reading first submit proof of donation to an organization linked in the post. She raised substantial money for the BLM movement, but no one seems to want to bring that up in all of their "she's a racist" discourse. Also, the observation that someone is misleading or gaslighting their following is not racist. Just because she said Prim was recently using her BLM reblogs & promotions to do it *this time* still does not make it racist. Questionable wording is just something the reader disagrees with, in my opinion, and should be addressed as such.

I'm not going to lie, I do feel a little frustrated at this point. I was really hoping to come to you and see that you had concrete proof to offer that Briar is a racist. I do understand that you have your own reasons for feeding into the assumptions and twisted outlooks already taken on Briar's words, but I don't have enough energy in me to fully swallow my tongue on this one. I really do hope that you at least consider what I've said here. I'm not sure what I can say at this point because all of the information I've read from you thus far has been purely conjecture or assumptions or just "not feeling right" about the wordings on a single post. A racist, from my perspective, is not something I would ever feel comfortable calling someone off of this lack of evidence.

I understand it is hard to separate preconceived notions from your mind when reading through the words of others, but I really do miss when you were more open to the words of others. If I could ask one thing of you, it'd be to please try to read Briar's post again but from the perspective of seeing it how it was meant to be: a witch who has been on the butt end of Prim's harassment for going on three years now. She is tired of the wild accusations and constantly having to defend herself, and even when she supplied her proof a couple years ago, no one wanted to hear her. She has, largely, given up on being heard, and now screams into what feels like a void when attacked.

Proof of Prim stirring the pot that I offered: An example of Prim actively seeking out the community and trying to stir the pot with an already dealt with situation that had passed over a year ago.

A direct source that I offered as further proof of what has occurred already: This is one from the account mentioned before who was directly involved with the previous discord server where the Trio incident took place a couple years back.

[A Reply.] I think, to be fair, I saw your comments on her previous posts through your main, and with how much aggression you packed into those messages, I don't necessarily blame her for deciding not to engage with your private messages. As I've said, she's very used to people attacking her like that, and in her mind, unfortunately, you've probably been added to the list of aggressive people ready to fling the blame at her rather than look at the situation as a whole. I do apologize for the way her post may have made you feel, but I think it's also important to remember the potentially aggressive things you left on her page (I'm not saying you meant to come off that way, but even I couldn't help but read that way). Also, regarding the ask, it's no small secret that the occultists of the tradcraft group are skilled and well-versed in hexes and curses. When reading her posts about how she may respond to further antagonism on Prim's part, I see a fully realized occultist wielding their most well kept and trained weapon: baneful magic. I'm sure Prim herself also understands that the "threat on her life" she's saying she's so afraid of, isn't a physical threat, but a metaphysical one. She has repeatedly and continually tried to drag these people through the mud, and now that they're refusing to just sit back and be canceled, she's afraid. She knows how strong their magic is, and they aren't shy about it 🤷‍♀️

[A Reply.] No, I completely understand where you're coming from. I, personally, have seen your willingness to talk things through, despite how aggressive you can come off at times in the things you say, so I think that's why I was genuinely so surprised to see your comments on some of her posts. But I do think her response and refusal to further directly engage with you is warranted and her right. Unfortunately, it is hard to tell who is genuinely open to talking and who is just trying to bait and add to the problem. And with how aggressive your comments were, 8 honestly think she most likely was responding from a place of "oh look another young Prim follower here to bait and berate me." I don't think she looks down on you for your age, but her views are likely a reflection of the fact that a lot of 18yos follow Prim and have openly harassed her without even asking for her input on the matter.

At this point, I would like to talk about the second half of the title of this particular post. Grooming. This is a very serious allegation against Prim that I have not spoken on previously because I had no proof that it was happening. With this person's permission, I would like to share how exactly they wound up fighting Prim's battles for her.

I will note: I am highly disgusted by what follows.

[A Reply.] Oh no! You cannot fault yourself for this! Prim is a known manipulator, and the fact that she was able to make you somehow think this is part of your being "gullible and naive" is just testament to the fact that she's gotten wayyy too good at what she does. This is in no way your fault or because of some fault within you. Practiced manipulators are cunning and dangerous even to the best of us. It was unfortunate that she chose you, but her twisting you around is in no way a bad reflection on you as a person!

I've chosen to include my reply to this person rather than our continued discussion because of how personal and involved our conversation turned. I've included it to show, as well, that grooming others to fight your battles is (though this should go without saying) NEVER OKAY. Prim has shown her true colors, in my opinion, and while I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt time and time again, I simply cannot permit myself to ignore the harm and damage she's inflicted on not only the tradcraft community, but also this innocent group of friends. A group who that has hitherto dedicated their time to sussing out predators, terfs, nazis, and racists. A group that should never have had to deal with being gaslit and manipulated by a well-known and respected blogger on this platform.

I cannot reiterate enough how sorry and deeply shocked I am at the information this person has brought to my attention. I am still stunned by Prim's activities and unable to fathom how many other potential individuals are out there being groomed to support and fight for her cause. I am sorry to the Witchblr community as a whole. I feel as if I have sat by and watched as Witchblr has been manipulated and am therefore complacent in the damage and needless hurt that has been allowed to spread throughout our community. I am just so very, very sorry.

I will be taking a couple days off of Tumblr because of this, as I feel as if I need space and time to think, but my inbox is always open and I am always available to speak with others on my return.

[angelpringle]

Hello fanders in a discord server we did a secret Santa exchange and I got @raterina-and-rayla. Here ya go Rayla hope ya enjoy!

Anything 'like this' is a flashback

Anything like this is the present day

_________

'Virgil sat at an aluminum table at the mall slowly eating a hamburger and fries, daydreaming and thinking to himself. In his peripheral vision, he could see a young handsome man dressed in a lettermans jacket and jeans. As the man approached, Virgil looked up and stared as he came closer.

"Mind if I sit here?" The man said

"Uh, sure." Virgil gestured towards the chair next to him and dipped a fry in ketchup. The man pulled the chair out it screeched across the floor as he did.

"So, what's your name?" He placed his elbow on the table and rested his face on the palm of his hand. Virgil hadn't realized how strikingly handsome this stranger was. His mind went blank and he stumbled on his words.

"I- uh, Gilvir... I mean Virgil. What about you?"

The man laughed and flashed Virgil a smile. "I'm Roman. Nice to meet you Virgil. So what brings you to the mall today?”

Virgil shrugged. “Not much. Just thinking to myself. You?”

“Just a bit of exploring. I’m new in town and thought I’d check out the local mall.”

“ Oh yes, because the mall is so thrilling!” Virgil said sarcastically showing jazz hands.

“Ah I see we have a snarky one, but the mall is very thrilling. The wonderful smelling food court, the many shops filled with different things around every turn, and most importantly.” Roman’s eyes shone with wonder, ”All the interesting people.”

“Hah as if im interesting.”

“You are indeed very interesting For starters by the looks of your appearance,” Roman gestured at the black eye shadow and dark clothing Virgil wore. “You’re a classic emo. Who most definitely likes My Chemical Romance.”

“I think that's pretty obvious Sir Talks-A Lot,” Virgil chuckled

Roman gasped in mock offense and placed on a hand on his chest defensively, “Sir Talks- A Lot!?! I will have you know that I can be silent for as long as I want Mr. Dark and Stormy Night."

'Okay, prove it."

Roman immediately shut his mouth. After only a few seconds "...Can I talk now?"

"Hah that was only five seconds. I told you you're a chatterbox."

The two talked for a while before Roan asked "I know it's crazy, because we've just met but would you like to go on a date with me?"

"Sure." '

That was two years ago. Virgil paced the floor anxiously waiting for Roman who was now his boyfriend. It was their two year anniversary, and in a few minutes they would be out on their date. A knock on the door sounded, Virgil jumped and walked to the door.

"Ready to go?" Roman stood on the porch in a red and white lettermans jacket and black jeans .Virgil nodded and they got into Roman's car and headed to the mall. "I'd thought we'd start out our date at the place where we met." He said as they walked inside to the food court. They ate dinner and then rode to the boardwalk near the pier…

'Roman focused on the milk bottle with the ball in his hand. He threw the ball perfectly knocking down the bottle. The man who ran the booth handed him a large spider plush. Roman walked back to where Virgil was standing and handed Virgil the spider. “Whatcha gonna name it?”

“Sally, y’know like from the Nightmare Before Christmas."

"Of course you would name it that. C'mon let's go down to the pier." Roman lead Virgil to the pier. they stood side by side gazing at each other.They grew closer and closer until their lips met under the moonlight…'

"I remember the night we were here. You won me Sally and then we had our first kiss on the pier." Virgil said as returned to the present. Roman nodded

"I wanted to recreate some of the special moments in our relationship."

The two walked down to the pier and once again shared a kiss this time lasting much longer and more passionate. Their last stop of the night was at the park. As they stepped out they came upon a candle lit path…

' "Virgil I'm so sorry the restaurant was full. I really wanted for us to have a candle lit dinner tonight."

"Ro it's fine we don't have to go to some fancy restaurant to celebrate our one year anniversary.'

"I know, I know it's just-" An an idea dawned on Roman and his face lit up. "I've got it! We can have a candle lit picnic in the park!"

The car made a u-turn and they drove to the house to pack food and candles. They arrived at the park and Roman set down a blanket and lit the candles. Virgil ate a turkey sandwich and Roman ate a pulled pork sandwich.

"Roman?" Virgil looked at Roman.

"Hm?'

Virgil smiled,"Thanks for asking me out a year ago." '

Roman led Virgil down the path more and more candles appeared as the came closer to a clearing of trees.As they got closer Roman stopped Virgil at the entrance to the clearing. "Wait here I'll call for you" Virgil nodded and Roman ran through the trees. Seconds later Roman called to Virgil. Virgil walked until he was faced with an archway in the shape of a heart with Roman stood underneath beaming.

"Ro, what is all of thi-"

"Virgil since the day that I met you I knew you were the guy for me. I knew you were the one." Roman knelt on one knee and opened a box with a ring with a stunning purple gemstone in the middle. "Virgil will you marry me?'

So many memories graced Virgil's mind as tears formed in his eyes and his hands slowly covered his mouth."I-" being overcome with such emotion Virgil nodded a yes. Roman stood and hugged Virgil holding him close. A moon beam hit the clearing illuminating the two newly weds as Virgil finally was able to speak.

"Yes. A thousand times yes."

_________

Also... I was gonna make some art for the story but since I got sick I didnt have time so I made a mood board for it instead

[transgirlhoshizorarin]

No, This Isn't About You

The person mainly referenced here will not see this.

Being someone whose only real interaction is with other people in twitch chat, and sometimes with housemates, and occasionally one or two other people on discord, makes life a little lonely sometimes. The vast majority of these interactions are very surface-level, as there are obvious things not to touch on in a public forum like twitch chat or even in #general in a discord server. You only really get those in private messages. But the number of private messages I get these days on average has gone down to maybe 1 per day if I'm lucky.

And I still cherish them so.

I was considering confessing my feelings to them, but at this point we hardly ever talk. Maybe a meme here or there. But every time I share something I really find interesting, or a new song I'm digging, silence.

And yes, I know what it's like to be on the other side. Some people I don't really vibe with sending messages and I wish they'd stop and let me breathe for a bit, or hope we'd get a dinner together first before we even start considering rubbing bodies together. That last statement was obviously metaphorical, but apply it as you see fit and it makes sense, maybe.

Being on both sides this late in my life finally hits home how bad relationships get when there's such a big imbalance when it comes to what one feels about the other.

Of course, our first meetings were very rough. I called them toxic in a game of overwatch while they streamed. I'm sure they hovered their cursor over the block button for a bit. And I know I could feel that sense of "buyer's remorse" coming from them every time I got to do something for myself on their time - playing a song for them on their rhythm game account, playing a song in their car while they drove, being the one to suggest an anime to watch together instead of always being on the receiving end.

It's clear they're not into me. But what do I love about them? Their interests aren't exactly aligned with mine, but I get no less than satisfaction to see them happy and talk about their newest interests and obsessions, getting to experience that new anime series or TV show together, or watching a movie together and sharing in those moments. And I know they don't feel that same thing toward me, for the reasons I said in the last paragraph. My music has too much screaming. Not enough boys in my anime. They're not the one in control at that moment.

And I know they have their own friends and are much closer to them now than I ever have been or will be. They have more people who share more of their interests and can actually hold their attention.

The people who have shared in my interests eventually grow bored of me and leave, even if there's no romantic feelings involved. As bad as it sounds and as borderline/BPD or mentally ill or socially unacceptable it might be to say it, "they all leave eventually."

That's the inconvenience of having so few acquaintances.

And even fewer friends.

Maybe I'm really THAT boring to the people with whom I want to share my experiences.

I've even been called "the one who doesn't want to do anything," and while that might be true to an extent, I don't want to be alone. Just doing my own thing while someone else does their own thing, but doing our own things together is what I want. And occasionally sharing things with each other. Or someone who has the energy and patience to pull me away from the things that make me look like I "don't want to do anything."

It also helps to be attractive, but lord knows it's annoying to deal with people who are attracted to you for your body or the things you can do with it. I streamed on a certain website once and the comments people left in the chat were enough to turn me off of doing it again. Never again.

Am I really that annoying to the people around me? Nobody I PM or DM anymore actually responds to me.

My housemate and friend of almost 10 years was supposed to go to a concert with me in June, but they moved out and away a few months prior, and since then have ceased all contact with me except for packages that showed up on the front door. I gave them the tickets and they didn't claim them or even say anything about them. I'll send a message to another friend about something, and won't get a response until later, if I even do get a response. Or they'll simply ask me a question or send me something completely unrelated as if they never received the message in the first place. And occasionally they'll invite me to things, but I think it's because they'll feel bad if they don't do it.

Yeah.

If I die, it literally wouldn't affect anything. If anything, it's a net positive.

Just need to start planning again.