#that i didnt get rid of it or id have no Fun Going Out Clothes at all

[youllneverseemerelax]

Belated urge to clean the mirror on this cool vintage armoire thing hidden by the latenight coffee/teahouse bathrooms

[choccy-milky]

Their kids are so cute omg i'm gonna dir of adorableness

lewis: then die LMFAOO NO BUT FRR THANK UU IM GLAD U THINK SO🥹🥹💖💖💖all the love for them (esp lewis) gave me the idea to draw him deflecting all the attention so ty for giving me the excuse to post it....we luv our aloof distant boi🥰

its funny bc i was JUST talking about this recently, but i dont like pet names at all BAHAH, hence why seb and clora dont call each other anything, not even nicknames.... seb calls her the light/princess/a bird sometimes as playful and teasing jokes, but doesnt actually address her like that. and clora always calls sebastian by his full name as well, bc i was basing her dialogue/my writing off the game dialogue...bc for as close as anne and ominis are to seb, both of THEM call him sebastian in full, so maybe it was a victorian thing that nicknames werent really common? plus clora's so proper that it just feels like its in her personality to always call seb "sebastian"... i feel like if she ever DID call him "seb" he'd do a double take and be like ...HUH? who are you???......are you polyjuiced? LMAO. i do imagine seb calling clora "love" when they get older tho (not in hogwarts) bc i like how simple it is, and imagining him saying stuff like 'careful, love' makes me🫠🫠🫠🫠

aw TYY💖💖 honestly i didnt give the victorian setting TOO much thought, other than making clora more modest/not used to wearing trousers etc. like the actual victorian courting process was that youd ALWAYS be chaperoned by at least 1 other person and you wouldnt be able to kiss or anything, so the fact that our mcs are in a co-ed school with free reign already ruins that, so i wouldnt worry too much about it. a lot of it you can just wave off with the excuse that wizard society is more advanced than muggle society, which is true anyway LOL. i just kept the parts that i thought were fun/made it feel victorian ENOUGH but got rid of the stuff that was too annoying (one big example being the amount of clothing they wear....i said it in the notes for one of my chapters, but i wasnt about to make seb go through like 5 different layers just to touch cloras titty LMFAO) and no i didnt have 1 specific website i used, id just google "blank in victorian times" and look through all the articles and resources i could on that subject, and take little bits of it. SO YEA i wouldnt worry about it too much, just take what you want if you think it could enrich your story, and leave stuff out if its annoying to deal with BHAHA. and GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR WRITING!!💖💖

BAHAHA yeah sebs bark was defs bigger than his bite when it came to actually having kids/getting clora pregnant LOL. he defs loves the pregnancy part, but i feel like seeing her go through the actual labour was super hard on him/made him feel guilty bc he hates to see her in pain, let alone bc of HIM. not to mention that i imagine he would still work even once they have kids, so to leave clora with like 6 kids by herself isnt something he would have wanted to do LOL. once both lewis and celeste are in hogwarts tho i actually imagine seb and clora still doing curse breaking as well (albeit less dangerous jobs/not as far away) BUT YES having a third kid that looks like seb and is sassy like anne would be SO CUTEEE...a happy accident is a good idea too, tho i kinda like the idea of it being cloras idea.....like, she gets baby fever again now that the kids are kinda growing up and sebs like no i dont wanna put u through that again... but obvs seb wouldnt be able to resist if clora was begging seb to put a baby in her LMFAOOO its already as good as done at that point😇😇 AND THANK YOU, and im glad you liked it!!!🥹💖💖💖

@the-kcm-muggleborn AWWW ur right thats so pretty.....ty for showing me!!🥹and im glad it make you think of clora...SHE WOULD APPROVE OF THESE STUDIES👌⭐🌙

[desire-mona]

dps boys hcs! this has been requested of me! lets make it modern bc thatll be fun

- todd absolutely DESPISES "booktok" and its addiction to smut. can go on a VERY long rant abt how only reading things with sex scenes is, in fact, a porn addiction.

- knox has tried on many occasions to become an influencer, failing every single time and blaming it on the algorithm or whaver

- neil, type of mother fucker to not be on social media like at all. has one private instagram that he posts on maybe twice a year, and has a tiktok only to watch the videos todd intermittently sends him.

- ^^^ followed immediately by a text saying "i sent you a tiktok go look at it" which always sparks a mini argument about whether or not its easier to just save the video and text it to him. goes nowhere every time.

- meeks has fashion taste that makes him look insufferable, band tee's and the worst jeans you ever did see, exclusively. also modern meeks would have clear glasses frames.

- saw someone say charlie would vape, id like to add to that. has a COLLECTION of elf bars, its vast, its colourful, it's annoying, it's turning his coughs wet.

- pitts was a fast fashion guy for a total of 6 months before finding out all the shit about how unethical the industry is. didnt get rid of any of those clothes bc thats wasteful but he IS fighting for his life whenever anyone looks at his wardrobe.

- cameron is a BIG analog horror fan, local 58, walten files, fnaf tapes, thats his jam. can we popularise cam being a big horror fan in general bc im so attached to that hc. horror cam i love u.

- all the boys have a life360 circle (enforced by cam and pitts due to charlie's horrendous reckless driving) and todd CONSTANTLY needs to be yelled at the charge his phone.

- neil's phone is ANCIENT, had the same one for nearly a decade, and its evident. has a bigass crack right down the middle, the back is shattered and held together with tape, a phone case, and a dream. theres marks from shit burning into the screen, most notably a rectangle in the bottom corner from the billions of facetime calls with todd that ultimately set his phone on fire every time.

- todd is secretly a grade A yapper but ONLY in digital form. his online presence is VAST, but impressively anonymous. has a very active substack, letterboxd, poetry tumblr, and even started his own blog. no, not a tumblr blog, a blog blog.

- charlie's car is decked out in the most idiotic add ons that you can think of. comically large mirror dice, a bumper sticker that says "honk if you want me bad", stupid car door lights that project a photo of jimmy fallon onto the ground when u open them, the whole 9 yards. took neil, pitts, and cameron 20 minutes to talk him out of getting flame decals (as a bit.)

- knox refuses to play any other videogame besides GTA, which he plays concerningly often. if ur having trouble reaching him then odds are hes on GTA. its the only hobby of his that his parents know about. christmas is tough for the overstreets.

- meeks is well aware of his general ☝️🤓 demeanour so he started making jokes about it before anyone else can. any time he says anything remotely smart sounding then he MUST do the voice and put up a finger. it became a force of habit and he did it while talking to a teacher once, he left the room mortified.

- pittsie lives on spotify, he has a playlist for every possible emotion, over 3k liked songs, and 200k+ minutes listened when wrapped season rolls around. additionally he does every spotify stat game available, and forced the boys to download a spotify activity widget thing. (WHAT DO YALL KNOW ABT AIRBUDS ‼️‼️ add me @ monahatesya xoxo)

- cam loves to make jokes about DARE and the "this is ur brain on drugs" ads but he is, in fact, the main demographic of said ads. said this before, saying it now, will most definitely say it again, he is beyond susceptible to peer pressure. marijuana isnt a gateway drug for everyone but it certainly is for him.

bonus! chris and keating! just for you!

- chris is avoiding the lesbian masterdoc purely out of fear. not out of fear of being gay, but out of fear of the sheer amount of subsequent other things she'll likely also have to find out about herself.

- keating spends an inordinate amount of time on youtube, which nobody actually expects. big video essay fan, imagine the shock from the boys when he pulls up youtube for a lesson and he's halfway thru the 4 hour iBinged iCarly video. was previously a james somerton fan but considering... the james somerton part.. hes now a defunctland loyalist.

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

This is gonna be a kinda long post cuz I was looking through the pictures I took with my first digital camera and feeling nostalgic

Most of them are just pictures of layla and mercedes but theres a few of me

This was my friends bunny Radar

The year i got this camera was the year with the most snow ive ever seen. Think we had maybe 2 feet in one night?

One of my few blanket forts. I wouldve liked to make more but I always ended up getting frustrated when I couldn't find things to weigh down the edges of the sheets and they kept falling down. Honestly kinda surprised I managed it with the satin ones here cuz theyre extra slippery (I stopped using them on my bed cuz they slid off too easily and I got annoyed with constantly having to readjust them)

This dude freaked out all the kids in the neighborhood lol. We were convinced he was haunted cuz he would move around sometimes. I dont think he's been over there for several years so im guessing whoever owned him moved.

My friend Jared took this picture of me before English class one day. I wore that jacket a lot. I eventually had to get rid of it cuz I let layla tug on the sleeves when we rough housed and they were getting pretty shredded at the ends

I think this was also the first year I did an Easter egg hunt for layla

And the last time I went to silver dollar city. I'm not sure what I was looking at in that first picture. Not the camera, clearly. That was. Not a trip I enjoyed all that much. I mean it was fun but going on trip was always stressful for me and it was always worse when my dads parents were there cuz despite raising 2 autistic kids they did NOT know how to handle an autistic kid. My parents being with us on this trip made it a little better cuz my mom would set boundaries for me and told them to give me space after a meltdown.

But the small amounts of gender dysphoria I've experienced were a lot worse back then but I didnt know what it was so I also couldn't articulate why them buying me a dress absolutely did NOT cheer me up.

That second picture was the gemstone panning thing that silver dollar city had which is where I got a bunch of my smaller rocks. Mostly sodalite and calcite. Some garnet and different types of quartz. Also had some pyrite which I had in a small jar on a necklace but I have no idea what happened to it. Also not sure what happened to that hat from the last picture. I got it from a souvenir shop in downtown Branson. I still wish id gotten the blue one instead of the pink one.

Mercedes judging my messy ass room. Behind her you can see a bag i made entirely out of magazine clippings

Ok ok so this picture is actually half the reason I decided to look through the pictures from this camera. This was how I liked to decorate my room for Christmas in middle school. I also had 2 mini Christmas trees set up on my night stand. It had 2 levels to it (picture a step) so I had one on each level.

Also in my window sill is the aquarium part of the "self sustaining" aquarium/terrarium we made in 6th grade science out of old coke bottles. I kept that thing for like 2 years. The fish died pretty early on. Got eaten by the snail. Which somehow made MORE snails (I do not know how snail reproduction works) and I ended up with like 30 snails in that bottle. Eventually all the water evaporated out and my mom convinced me to throw the bottle away

THIS is the other picture I was looking for. Layla had a lot of Christmas sweaters cuz she got cold easily. The santa suit was also laylas but I would put it on mercedes sometimes. This is one of the few pictures I have of them dressed up together. I didnt put clothes on mercedes too often cuz she hated it lol

There was a less blurry picture right before this one but mercedes looks mad in this one and I felt it encapsulated her personality better. Also. Man almost forgot about that rocking chair. It was at my grammys for the longest time and then we took it at some point. It was ugly as hell but it was like a giant stim toy for me. Both for rocking but also I liked the rounded parts on the arm rests cuz I could rub my fingers in the divots between them. Mercedes was not happy when we got rid of that chair.

This was about as close as they ever got to cuddling. Mercedes was never a cuddly cat. She tolerated harley cuddling up to her when she was a kitten but I think thats just cuz she was old. She probably wouldn't have tolerated it at all when she was younger.

Is it weird that I can tell I was watching ncis when I took this just by that part of the screen. This was also when my recliner still reclined lol. The handle you had to pull to bring up the foot rest was a plastic thing on the end of a wire and the wire snapped....I think the first day after my sophomore year of highschool?

Aaand heres where I finally figured out I could turn off the flash on my camera in highschool lol

Mercedes after a haircut (while I was cleaning my room)

She looks so soft here 🥺 i miss her

[hitoshisbabygirl]

Authors Notes ♡: WHEW I LOVED THIS I had a time trying to come up with an idea and then it hit me : a princess being saved by fantasy au! Dabi. I’m still nervous with my smuts but heh I enjoyed this a whole bunch to write . Dabi is my favorite villain and I just love him so much, I tried to make him a soft inside and hard outside man in this , I Had fun for our free for all collab and I hope I help give it just a fun twist to fantasy and Halloween spirit ~ I hope you enjoy reading this and much as I did writing it ~ bunny ❥

Warnings :UH NSFW! Demon dabi has two dick (and their thick) , pet names, unprotected sex , a tad bit of a size kink? , a bit fluffy at the end but I think that’s it!

Word count : about 2k give or take!

Paring(s) :Dabi x F! Reader

Even with this being NSFW I had to make it a soft fluffy ending I’m sorry ♡

———————————————————————

Enchanted flames

Dabi

“If you have found this letter the Princess of Yuei needs your help. Meet me in the Enchanted Woods tomorrow night. Ill escape with you if you can save me from the proposed wedding - Princess [ ]”

With a sigh [. ] dropped the letter out of her window hoping someone, anyone , could save her from the doom that awaited her from an arranged marriage that had been planned from her kingdom to be to the neighboring ones prince, a smaller and very...purple hot headed boy by the name of Mineta who was unsavory for a lack of words. Sighing as she watched the paper fall she secretly wished her type of prince would come save her from this hell she expected.

As the night approached she slipped past her guards, telling them she was going out for air in her garden. The two towering men who looked down at her agreed, moving at the way to let the young woman past them and out into the halls, her dress dragging behind her as she headed out the giant doors to her garden. Taking in a breath she climbed over the perfectly managed hedges andddd off into the forest adjacent to the castle, roaming through the woods to her chosen spot to hopefully meet someone who could save her.

“Hello there little sheep, you called for help, correct?” A low, raspy voice called out as [ ] turned around , looking into the dark abyss in front of her. “ Hello? Helloooo? Who's there?” the girl called out as she heard something heavy land behind her. Turning to her right she saw bright blue eyes look back at her from the shadows. Before she could react a rather warm hand covered her mouth as the person or thing dragged her throughout the woods , the two of them slipping into the night. As soon as [ ] woke up her eyes adjusted to a dark but brightly lit and beautiful chasm, cyan and turquoise crystals of all types surrounded the room as she felt intense heat from everywhere around her. Standing up on shaky legs she felt eyes on her from behind. Letting out a deep breath she turned only to run into a barely covered chest.

Looking up from the revealed purple and pale skin , she saw those same blue eyes , lit with curiosity. “Ah you're awake..welcome little sheep to my...well..living quarters” The mystery man spoke as [ ] blinked at him, a grin spreading over his face as he continued to speak “Well i guess the princess doesnt know she isn't in her little castle anymore. Haven't those guards of yours realized they can't leave royalty alone or guys like me come along and take them out of their cute little homes” He said as [ ] gave him a suspicious look , her own thoughts taking over her face as a sense of calm rested over her features “Ohhh so you're the one who found my note..” She said as he gave her an unreadable look , soon walking away to leave the girl in her own world. “I guess he did” she thought to herself as she heard the male come back, a pile of things in his hands. “Here; a change of clothes and something to eat. I tried to be gentle taking you out of those dreaded castle grounds and through the woods but your dress isnt the smallest thing in the world” he said as [ ] let out a giggle , picking up the dark shirt and skirt he had given her along with the meal : some type of rice and meat with soup. Before she could ask the man answered “No i didnt steal it, i told you this is my home , its only natural id have something in this god forsaken place to eat.” He said as he pointed down the cave. “Theres a waterfall ahead if youd like to freshen up there.” And with that [ ] walked down the empty carved walls, finding the waterfall he was talking about.

Once she was finished getting cleaned and dressed she headed back the way she went, seeing the male now cloaked in a dark cape , fiddling with a pile of wood before setting it ablaze with a bright blue flame. “Ah i see you're finished , ILl be heading out , i'm gonna find us some more wood so you don't get cold. Theres a pot over there where you can reheat your food and get more if you like.” As he finished he proceeded to get up and head down another pathway, presumingly to the opening of the chasm “Wait!” [ ] called out as he stopped, turning to the girl with a questioning look back at her. “Yes princess?” he responded to her as she felt a unnatural wave of heat spreading to her face from simply calling her by her actual title. “What can I call you? And how long will you be gone?” She questioned. “Aw are you worried about me?” He cooed as she puffed out her cheeks “I was just curious” She lashed back as the male in front of her laughed , giving her a crooked smile. “ The names Dabi, and i won't be gone too long, an hour or so” Dabi said, giving her a smile as he started to leave again.

“Oh yeah , and there's a spare jacket in the back if you get too cold or that fire goes out.” and with that he left [ ] by herself as she finished up the dinner he had made which was exceptionally good, even better than what she tended to have at the castle. While she waited around for dabi to come back , [ ] looked at her royal dress, the red and pinks making her want to revolt as she pushed the fluffy tooled pile up into a blanket of sorts, covering her legs as she sat there thinking about her predicament “I really ran away...but what else can you do when youre gonna be married off to someone years older than you for land and alliance” she thought with a sigh as footsteps came from behind her , Dabi pulling his hood from his head as he smiled to himself at the girl in front of him “Im back princess” He declared as she turned to him, giving him a small smile as she stood up, dusting off her dress , coming up to Dabi “So...whatcha find?” She started as he pulled the bag from behind him , dumping out different goodies for the two of them. An array of food, wood and fresh buckets for water collections. “Here, this is for you too” Dabi said as he passed her a well woven balck dress, better than the two piece he had first given her. Taking in a deep breath he spoke up “I didn't want you to struggle with rags , so i got you something a little more comfortable and well...suitable for a run away princess” and with that she looked up to him and giggled which was heaven to his ears. ‘Why thank you Dabi..i'm flattered” [ ] said as she took the black dress , running to a hidden corner to change as Dabi smirked “Oh boy..what have i signed myself up for”

Weeks later and multiple posters for the lost princess later, [ ] had a rhythm living with Dabi. They cooked together and he left out to get things from shops ans out in the woods. Word spread that the princess had been stolen and the ugly grape himself had put a reward out for her safe return. Unknown to everyone she was quite content with the dark demon mage Dabi and his home in the woods. He explained the chasm as his work space, a place he could hone in on working with his flames and different elixirs that people needed. He was a half breed of human and demon, his father ridding of him to hide his affair with an otherworldly being, to keep the peace of his people and the overworld people as well. He really wasn’t a bad man, just someone who stayed in the shadows and kept to himself. And [. ] ‘s heart went out to him, as his did out to hers as she explained her own situation. ”Well damn sweetheart at least i saved you hm?” Dabi said as the two of them laughed together about their lives and what they'd like to change.

As the night drew on and they had their fair share of drinks and food that night “Thank you Dabi..for everything” [ ] said randomly as they relaxed by the fire he had started , [ ] wrapped into the oversized fur Dabi made her as the male laid against a log watching the tired girl mumble to him. She gave him a sleepy smile once he put his warmed hand on her face. “You're cute yknow...i'm not gonna let anyone get to you okay?” He said as she shook her head, moving herself closer to him , laying her head on his lap as he rubbed her head until she fell asleep, him soon realizing he was in love with the rogue princess in his lap.

As the next month rolled around , the princess and her demon mage had started a loving relationship, the two of them growing fonder and fonder of eachother. [ ] noticed that Dabi had tried avoiding being around her when she was fresh from the shower or even roaming too close behind her, he even took more time to come home with more ingredients or even sleep opposite to her. She didn't understand the switch from wanting to hold and hug her to avoiding her all day. One day she was able to catch and trap him with her. “Yes princess…?” Dabi ased as [ ] crossed her arms around her chest , the simple movement making him turn from her. “Did I..do something…?” She asked, her eyes bouncing between his as the turquoise she learned to love ignited with heat.

”Oh no doll...you haven't done a thing but make me want you even more..”

And with that comment her eyes widened. “What..?” She questioned. And with that Dabi picked the smaller girl up, pinning her to a crystal wall as she gasped, wrapping her arms around his neck.”Dabi…….?” [ ] called out as he started to kiss her neck ,running his rougher hands up the soft flesh of her thighs. “I think i'm in love with you doll..youve been invading my head or a while and all i can think about is making your cute little body want me the burning way i want you...I wanna make you cry out for me all night long...make you mines forever.....is that okay?” He whispered in her ear. With a shudder she agreed , letting him kiss the swells of her brest as he gave her a lopsided smile, picking her up and taking her to a pile of pelts and wool they made into a bedroom to rest in. Placing her down lightly he towered her , taking off his vest to reveal his toned and scarred body “Youre quite a beauty yknow...im glad you trust me…” He said with a smile as [ ] herself smashed her lips against his, cutting off his mushy talk. With a groan he pushed her dress up , letting her breast bounce out from the top. Pulling away from the kiss she helped him take off the dress over her head. With a shy smile [ ] covered ehrslf and laid back, spreading her legs lightly to expose her glistening lips to him

“Well damn, i havent even toughed you yet and youre this wet..what a little slut you are”

He growled out as he leaned back over to give her a kiss , pulling her lower lip as he licke dhis was down between her legs, giving her clit a hard suck as she whinned , closing her legs over his head as he slurped away at her pussy, making sure to watch her through hooded eyes, a tail whipping from behind him as a pair of horns appeared from atop his head, one mangled and cracked the other long and curled “Surprise” Dabi called out as his voice dropped octaves, it coming out as a low rumble as [ ] felt her walls clench at the sound , a chuckle coming from him. Going back to slurping and sucking on her labia and clit , Dabi watch with glee as the gilr under him started to shake, her hips rolling back to his mouth as he bit lightly down on her lips and pulled away from her , laughing at her pleas and whimpers “Turn sound baby and let me show you how much i love you” Dabi said , watching as [ ] rolled over arching her hips back as he smacked her ass, loving the moan she let out. Pulling down his pants he pulled his throbbing member out, rubbing it hard against her clit as she felt her heart jumped at the feeling of how thick he was. All of a sudden she felt hands pull her cheeks apart as a finger rub around the tight rings of her ass. With a gasp she looked back to see not one but two swinging dicks between the burning up male, a feral look in his eyes as he let a low rumble come from his chest “ Sorry babygirl..when I change there's more than just one of me to deal with, i promise i'll be gentle” He said as he rubbed her tight muscles just loose enough to put in the tip, her lower lips drooling as he slid his true size into her throbbing walls, moans and grunts tearing through the chasm as he pulled his hips back , starting to set a rhythm to his hips. While he picked up the pace, [ ] felt herself being full as the two dicks of his stuffed her. She could help the feeling of her walls getting tighter as she came once then twice and not once did Dabi stop, he laughed as he gave her more and more , pushing himself deeper in her as he let out what sounded like a howl of pain as he doubled in pace, reaching down to rub her clit as she screamed, soon feeling a hot and warm gooey feeling flood her senses. Dabi slowed his hips down as he pulled himself from her ass first, then from her pussy and cum started to leak from her holes.

“Shit...im sorry princess I didnt mean to go so rough…” Dabi breathed out as [ ] turned around giving him hr own lopsided smile as she saw him transform backto himself, those turquoise eyes softening as he saw the woman he had fallen for spent out from his own actions. “Geez when you said you were a demon i didnt think it was true…” She laughed as he scratched th back of his neck “Ive never transformed like this around someone….especially during sex but that means I trust you a lot….well doll..let me clean you up and then...we can go fro round two hm?” He smirked as he watched her pussy clench and relase more cum once he said that. “Mhm...clean me Dabi then we can have some more fun..”

[nextstopparis]

Now that we’ve talked about Merlin dressing Arthur, what do we think about the bathing situation? I do not believe that Merlin actually kneels by the tub with a sponge, though I know there’s a lot of fic where he does just that. I have to assume that the man who refuses to hug Merlin wouldn’t let him scrub him down. But we have seen Merlin prep a bath for him on at least one occasion. We all remember when Merlin magically heated the water and burned him lol. And I know that Merlin kind of does a lot of jobs that a single manservant wouldn’t realistically do but my biggest question here is: how does Merlin get rid of the bath water? It’s one thing to imagine poor Merlin hauling buckets of clean water all the way to Arthur’s room, but does that mean that he then has to fill buckets up with gray water and then haul them back down? Or throw them out the window? Or is there a team that he calls for that bustles up and drags the tub out lol? Or is there a special drainage system I’m unaware of? Any history experts out there willing to answer this very specific, niche question?

it's surprisingly very difficult to search up "how did medieval peasants get rid of bathwater" and get a straight answer. anyway, here's what i found.

oh and before i continue, yeah, i dont think he really "helped" arthur either. although perhaps it's worth mentioning that this site says:

If people could afford to have a private bath - and not many could - they would use a wooden tub that could also have a tent-like cloth on top of it.

which i found a lil interesting bc arthur didnt have the tent-like cloth thing. im just reading into it though bc 1)i doubt the writers really.. looked into it? and 2) he like. walks around shirtless all the time. and had no qualms walking in front of merlin naked, so. i dont think he'd be too concerned about having it? except like, i do think arthur was a lot more private when it came to other people (esp. other servants) in the castle so... maybe merlin did stay with him during his baths? if not actually scrub him down or anything, then at least to like. keep him company and make sure no one walked in? also to like, quickly get rid of the water, i suppose slkfjslfj idk. it should be noted that the site does say that servants did usually help their lords rinse and do all that fun stuff. they include this excerpt in John Russell's Book of Nature (idk what its about or why it has instructions for servants on how to bathe their lords but. idc enough to find out):

Have a basin full of hot fresh herbs and wash his body with a soft sponge, rinse him with fair warm rose-water, and throw it over him.

so. take that as you will. it should be noted that this was written in the fifteenth century and arthurian legend took place in the 6th-7th century though, i think. however, imo, thats not THAT big of a deal bc 1) the writers said they wanted the show to be "timeless" anyway, therefore meaning it could take place at any time and 2) i feel like maybe lords would be more reliant on servants the farther back you go?? idk though dont take my word for it on that last one.

maybe merlin just helped him sometimes when he was seriously hurt or something? idk. maybe it was a sentimental thing, like they make it in some fics...?

now, during the medieval times, specifically in paris (thats the place ive learned about, anyway, im not exactly sure about other places but... id assume they did this too), the streets were full of shit. now, you're thinking, what the fuck does that have to do with bathwater, but its sort of the same thing, isnt it? back then, people would empty their chamber pots (where all the shit was, in case u needed to know) by throwing the contents (the shit) out the window. i remember learning this in high school and wanting to puke. ANYWAY. according to this site, they even said a thoughtful "garde loo" to help people avoid getting shit on their head<3 how lovely.

anyway, that makes me think that like... maybe they did the same thing with the bathwater? i dont really see why not. i mean ok. the peasants weren't exactly able to have private baths (as stated above. they had to take PUBLIC BATHS JSKJSLKJ AND SHARE BATH WATER UGH YUCK IM GONNA VOMIT) (or bathe in the river but. anyway) so they werent the ones throwing bathwater out the window. but i meant it more conceptually. like in what if, generally, those who could have private baths did the same thing with their bathwater that they did with their shit. im not exactly sure on castle etiquette, so idk if throwing bathwater out the window is frowned upon or not but... technically ur theory on chucking it out the window could be plausible? (i mean. merlin more or less defenestrated aredian so i dont see why not, but anyway).

HOWEVER. in the same site, they also say this:

The plumbing system of Medieval castles was designed so that waste products would flow straight into the moat that surrounded the castle. These “Garderobes” extended outside of the walls of the castle and had a opening at the bottom that would empty into the moat.

so, perhaps bathwater disposal in medieval castles paralleled that of waste disposal in medieval castles, rather than paralleling the peasants' waste disposal? although, the above is assuming that there was a moat around the castle which... er... i dont think there was?? or at least... we never saw any moats??

although, this:

the first time i saw it made me think of a bridge over a moat so. OH MY GOD I THINK I WAS RIGHT. on this website, where you can read about all the very interesting history of the pierrefonds castle that absolutely did NOT make me want to die, if you scroll down until "Visit of Pierrefonds" it says that:

The entrance to the castle is located in the weakest part of the rampart, protected by several juxtaposed defences: a portcullis, a drawbridge, moats and chatelets added by Viollet-le-Duc.

(...Copyright © French Moments Ltd unless otherwise stated. Read more at https://frenchmoments.eu/pierrefonds/.) (THEY ADDED THE LAST PART THEMSELVES DONT KILL ME OK I DONT WANT TO GET SUED SO IM KEEPING IT IN)

so?? there is a moat??? i think??? (btw, in case you're curious, it was "added" by viollet-le-duc (which i keep reading as du lac skfjslkj) bc the castle was actually destroyed and then rebuilt. however, seeing that this isnt actually pierrefonds in MERLIN (pierrefonds wasnt even built at that point) thats not technically important). which means that it's perfectly plausible that merlin could have just. emptied the dirty bathwater with the chamber pot contents into the garderobes which in turn dumped them into the moat. (or maybe he did just haul all the water back downstairs and dump it into the grass i dunno).

as for if he had like, help or something? i dont know? the first website talks about how it's a bunch of servants readying the bath, but as you said... merlin did seem to do a lot of things on his own.

maybe he just used magic though, lol. what you said abt him burning arthur made me think of like. what if he just evaporated all the water while no one was looking? this is probably not the case bc in 1.11 gaius talks about how merlin specifically EMPTIES his own bathwater (which is why they had tea to drink during the whole unicorn fiasco) so im guessing he'd do so as well with arthurs. especially considering it would be more dangerous to use magic on arthurs. although, if he did have to lug a lot of water throughout the castle... perhaps his laziness would've won over his survival instincts like mine probably would. i guess we'll never know?

unless there ARE history nerds that would like to set me straight and put me in my place???

(also i should say: i have absolutely no clue how credible these resources are, so. yeah)

[pinterestinfluencer]

if you’re still taking questions! 10, 19, 33, 50?

10. do u have a secret sideblog?

this is so funny bc last week i made a blog called katelynranksthings where i was going to rank like certain albums from best to worst or most adam parrish florence and the machine songs in descending order bc i love doing stuff but i didnt tell anyone and i havent made a post yet djjcjfjgjgj

19. if you could change ur name would you?

i certainly like. should. there are too many of us. but i think i lucked out by having the most desirable spelling of my name and i like that some ppl call me kate and katie like its cute and a little fun. i actually wish i had a different last name hdjcjcjdjfj i feel much more connected to my mothers side of the family so sometimes i wish i had her maiden name

33.if money was no object what would your wardrobe be like?

😖😖😖😖😖 i really love clothes that are super comfortable and still really cute i like patterns and i would go shopping at vintage stores and i NEED new jackets like theres this brown teddy jacket that i want. i would get rid of jeans entirely no need for them and wear just polazzo pants and like black slacks constantly bc theyre very comfortable.. wait no i would wear jeans i would just stop wearing tight ones. honestly i think if i had MONEY money id spend it more on accessories than clothes. i love watching handbag videos on youtube and theres that lady dior astrology bag thats like six grand but its so beautiful and im like .. 🤒 and i love shoes just like in general i would go nuts. anyways this is just a dream and i cannot even afford a new pair of black boots after wearing through the soles of my last ones

50. whats your favorite kind of weather?

75 degree blue sky sun shining no clouds (maybe a few clouds) like a dream day is laying in grass under the sun and soaking the heat in like a turtle.. maybe bringing a book..

[namea]

Goth Rainbowcy Challenge!

I’m sorry guys, I couldn’t resist. So this is my Goth Rainbowcy challenge. I came up with it for shits and giggles but I think it’ll be fun! It’s a 7 gen challenge that plays with different game features and goth subcultures at the same time. You don’t have to be goth to do it (I’m not) and you can play with vanilla, berry, or any sims in between. Hit the read-more to see it! Tag “GothRainbowcy” with your pictures. I’d love to see them!! <333 

Goth Rainbowcy rules:

No money cheats

No trait, skill, or gameplay cheats

Occasional motives cheating allowed

Appearance cheats free game

Choose the heir however you want.

Aging should be on.

 You can play this berry, banilla, or however you want!! I have a mix in my game so who knows where mine will go! While matching hair/eyes/clothes are encouraged like in most rainbowcy challenges they aren’t mandatory at all!

Gen 1 – Fledgling Goth

If no one wants to try and understand you, you’ll strike out on your own! Build a life for yourself and start a successful dark legacy of awesomeness.

 Start as a monochrome black white and grey themed goth teen. Choose any aspiration or traits and any style of gothiness that you want. Start on an empty lot. Choose any 3 of the following items to place on the lot:

Tent

3 small planters

Cheapest BBQ grill

Potty Bush

Easel

Ice chest

woodworking table

Instrument

Cheapest sink

camera

Achieve:

Don’t purchase anything else until you’ve made 500 simoleons. 

Have 1 pet. Have the following on the lot:

Cat: Cheapest litter box, Cheapest bowl

Dog: Cheapest bowl, One cheap toy

Don’t get another pet when this one dies

Get a job you slacker! Any job will do. When you’ve made 500 simoleons (in any way) go ahead and choose one extra item from the list to give yourself as a reward. Make sure you have at least 100 simoleons left!

Maintain a B or higher grade in school. 

Have at least 1 best friend who isn’t goth.

Have at least 1 other friend who is goth.

Have at least 1 enemy

Have at least 1 friend who is a senior citizen

Attempt (but fail) to get to know Death until you’re a senior yourself, then become friends with Death.

Upon aging into adult get a job in any industry you like and advance to the furthest level.

Upon aging into adult complete your aspiration.

Upon aging into an adult marry and have at least one child with another goth.

Build a house on your lot bit by bit for you and your family to live in. It can be themed gothy or not, up to you. 

Gen 2: Red – Gothabilly

Your parents taught you a love of goth culture and fashion…but they never expected that you’d hear the swinging sounds of the 50’s in your heart. It’s time to make your way into the world and show it what you can do!

This sim should have the Serial Romantic aspiration and the following traits: Music Lover, Self Assured, and ONE other trait of your choosing. Upon reaching adulthood they should enter the entertainer career and eventually choose the musician branch.

This generation starts when your sim is a teen. This sim should have a red and black aesthetic with a 50’s twist similar to rockabilly but more goth. Red hair and eyes recommended. To finish out this generation you should do as much of the following as possible before the next generation starts:

Own at least 2 guitars and one microphone.

Have checkered floors in your kitchen.

Win a Karaoke contest at least twice

Have 3 non-goth best friends who introduce them to music as a kid or teen.

Have 1 goth best friend

Win a dance off against someone.

Reach level 10 of the guitar skill and singing skill.

 Reach the highest level of the musician career.

Marry a non Gothabilly goth.

Have one child with them.

Eventually break up and marry a non goth.

Have one child with them

Break up and marry another goth. If you don’t have a boy and a girl yet have kids with them until you have at least one boy and one girl. Stay with them or break up as you want.

Have a dog and a cat.

Max relationship with your children and pets. Be friends again with both exes before death.

Finish the aspiration.

 Gen 3: Orange – Steampunk

Music never interested you the way it did your parents. You weren’t social or loud, you didn’t care much for the 50’s aesthetic…in fact you worried you weren’t even…goth…until you saw a steam engine in a movie. You were enamored quickly and suddenly it made sense, the cogs and steam of the world. Brass goggles, corsets, clockwork and elegance. This is your scene. Your parents may not understand but they love you anyway.

This generation starts when your founder has died. The sim should have an orange, brown, black, and brass aesthetic or however you wanna do steampunk. Orange hair and eyes recommended. Skin too if ya wanna berrify it.

This sim should have the Nerd Brain aspiration and the following traits: Genius, Loner, and one other trait of your choosing. Upon reaching adulthood you should join the Scientist career.

To finish out this generation you should do as much of the following as possible before the next generation starts:

Reach the top level of the scientist career

Have 2 cats

Reach level 10 of the handiness skill

Reach level 10 of the fishing skill

Own a woodworking table and create at least one of every option.

Catch at least 12 different kinds of fish

Have only one child with a one night stand

Never marry, you’re too busy!

Have a strained relationship with your child

Max relationship with your cats

Have only 1 best friend who is goth but be on good terms with as many of your coworkers as possible.

Earn the marketable trait

Own at least 4 high tier electronics

Fully upgrade at least 5 things in the family home.

Complete the aspiration

Retire after reaching the highest scientist level and concentrate on inventing at home.

Finally fall in love as a senior but don’t marry before death.

Generation 4 – Yellow: Pastel Goth

You never got along with your parent and felt cheated by not having a two parent home. Their aesthetic wasn’t as dark as your grandparents but you still try to distance yourself from it as much as possible. The cute but creepy aesthetic of pastel goth appeals to you in a lot of ways and that’s where you’re going with your life.

This generation starts when the sim is a teen. This sim should have the Super Parent aspiration and the following traits: Childish, Family oriented, And one other trait of your choice! This sim should join the social media career as a trend setter.

To finish out this generation you should do as much of the following as possible before the next gen starts:

Completely re-decorate the family home (except your parent’s room) replacing all black with white and the colours to pastels with some black accents.

Reach the top level of the trend setter career.

Own at least 2 rats in your lifetime.

Max the Parenting, gardening, and floral arranging skills.

Grow a cowplant

Earn a money tree.

Earn the green thumb trait.

Leave the house at night as little as possible.

Have 2 goth best friends

Have 1 pastel goth friend

Have at least 1 non goth friend

Marry your goth high school sweetheart

Have at least 2 kids

Finally get a friendly relationship with your parent after your first child is born.

Max your relationship with your kids but not your spouse.

Make at least 5000 simoleons with things you grow.

Generation 5 – Green: Cybergoth

You were always close with your parents but man that pastel aesthetic bothered you. Looking into old family albums you found pictures of your great grandparents and started learning about the darker sides of goth. Nothing could keep up with the electronic beats in your ears until you found cybergoth. With shiny blacks and neon colours you were home. Gas masks and hoses forever! Just don’t trip over them.

 Generation 2 should be dead before this generation starts. This generation starts when your sim reaches teenhood. This sim should have the Computer whiz aspiration and the following traits: Hot headed, Dance Machine, One other trait of your choice. Green hair and eyes are recommended.

 To finish out this generation you should do as much of the following as possible before the next generation starts:

 Join the programmer career but quit when you get to the career split and join the secret agent career in the oracle branch.

Max the DJ skill

Max the Dancing skill

Get rid of the pastel in at least half of the house

Reach at least level 5 in the programming and Video game skills

Win at least 3 dance offs

Have 1 goth best friend

Meet at least 2 aliens and become friends

Max your relationship with your spouse and kids

Have no pets

Earn the Mentor trait

Die before reaching senior age

Generation 6 – Blue: Victorian Goth

The death of your parent struck you hard…but not just with sadness. You discovered a beauty in the calm darkness of the graveyard. Poetry and art call to you and invite you to feel and experience that sadness until it leaves you feeling refreshed.

Generation 3 and 4 should be dead before this generation starts along with the parent from gen 5. This generation starts as soon as gen 5 parent dies. This sim should have the Renaissance Sim aspiration and the following traits: Gloomy, Art Lover, and one trait of your choice. Blue hair and eyes recommended.

To finish out this generation you should do as much of the following as possible before the next generation starts:

Finish redecorating the house back to its dark roots with a classical flair

Join the artist career and advance to the highest level in the branch of your choice.

Max the art skill

Max the violin skill

Max the logic skill

Max the gardening skill

Grow Roses, Dahlias, Orchids, and wolfsbane..

Graft to create a deathflower, then plant it and grow them.

Grow Roses, Dahlias, Orchids, and wolfsbane as well.

Paint at least 2 masterpieces in every art category.

Don’t go out during the day if possible.

Work from home as much as possible.

Have no close friends

Have a black cat. Keep owning one cat at a time of their family line.

Meet a marry a vampire.

Have one child with them.

Allow them to turn you the day before you become a senior.

Grow a plasma fruit tree

Max your relationship with your child but not your spouse.

Your spouse dies of “mysterious circumstances”.

Final generation – Purple: Modern Vamp Goth 

People talk about your family a lot. They’ve always been dark, your parents never came out in the day, and one parent disappeared under mysterious circumstances. They whisper that your other parent did it but you don’t care. You know it’s not true. You love the darkness but you’re a cheerful soul at heart. You grew up knowing something was different about your parents but it’s not until you reach teendom that you learn about your vampiric heritage and what that means. It’s time to embrace eternity.

This is the final gen! Thanks for playing!! This sim should have any of the vampire aspirations and the following traits: Cheerful Good/Evil (your choice) and one other trait of your choice. They should join the writer career and max out the author branch writing the story of their family. Purple hair and eyes recommended. Try to do the following:

Write at least 1 book of each genre

Finish all of the vampire lore books and max the vampire lore skill

Become a master vampire

Turn at least 3 sims and move them in with you

Own a coffin

Have 1 non goth best friend, turn them as well.

Max at least 7 skills

Earn at least 500,000 simoleons

Max the pipe organ skill

Destroy and rebuild the house completely or move to another world.

Thanks for playing!!

[themoneybuff-blog]

Questions About Car Seats, Leftovers, Medical Insurance, Budget Brands, and More!

Whats inside? Here are the questions answered in todays reader mailbag, boiled down to summaries of five or fewer words. Click on the number to jump straight down to the question. 1. Early or late retirement contributions? 2. Purchases for infrequent use 3. Used car seats? 4. Excessive leftovers 5. Friends want me to spend 6. Value of one bag living 7. Buying a house on $35K 8. How to avoid drive-thrus 9. Medical insurance difficulties 10. Budget brands? 11. Starting career advice 12. Thoughts on taekwondo One of the most enjoyable parts of writing this mailbag column is the wide variety of comments and questions I get from readers. I usually try to keep the stuff I choose for the mailbag at least somewhat within the realm of personal finance, maybe slipping in one or two questions or comments a week that arent related to the topic, but I get quite a lot of great stuff from readers that covers completely different topics that I just cant reasonably fit into the mailbag. For example, just in the last week or two, Ive received the following notes from readers: A reader wrote in to talk about the joys of playing Magic: the Gathering with her son and how they were building Commander decks together. A reader wrote in to encourage me to pick up some of the writings of the philosopher Byung-Chul Han, particularly his essays Psychopolitics and The Scent of Time (which Im currently reading). A reader has been trying to get me to debate him concerning a number of hot button political issues. A reader has been writing to me consistently for weeks asking for step-by-step help in getting a batch of homemade kombucha to work. A reader invited me to his dynasty fantasy football league. Thats just over the last several days. Honestly, I love this kind of thing, because it represents human connection. Theres a sharing of ideas and interests and a sharing of concern behind all of it that goes way past merely writing about financial issues, and it means a lot to me, even if its not fodder for the mailbag. Speaking of the mailbag, here are this weeks questions. Q1: Early or late retirement contributions? Is it better to contribute to a Roth IRA early in the year or as late as possible? I have money set aside for my 2019 Roth contribution but I dont know if I should do it now or wait. Brian Unless theres some specific reason thats unique to your situation that points to waiting, you should put those savings in there as soon as possible. The longer the money is invested, the more time you have for compound interest to work in your favor. Having said that, investment markets are unpredictable. Theres always a chance that right after you put your money in, the markets dip. Remember that this could happen no matter when you put your money in there. You could put your money in now and immediately see a dip, or you could wait until next February to put it in and immediately see a dip. The difference is that, on average, its much more likely that the investment youre putting your money into will go up in value over that period. If you wait, its very likely that youre going to miss out on growth. Put your retirement money away in retirement accounts as soon as you can. Dont sit around holding them, because youre usually doing nothing more than missing out on growth if you do that. Q2: Purchases for infrequent use Im considering purchasing a pair of bowling shoes. I only bowl once or twice a year, but it seems like its a wise investment since I could get a pair of perfectly good bowling shoes for around $25 instead of paying $3 or so each time to rent them. How do you view rarely used purchases like this that, while adding to the stuff you own, will eventually pay for themselves? Adam My philosophy on purchases like these is similar to yours. I try to look at the total cost of ownership of the item over an extended but still reasonable period of time, like five years, and I figure out which is going to cost less. I also consider how frequently Ill actually use the item, and it basically has to be annually at the very least and preferably much more frequent than that. That type of thinking requires full honesty to be valuable. So, in your situation, is it cheaper to rent shoes for $3 a pop twice a year for five years or buy a pair of shoes for $25 once? Well, the cost for rental over that period is $30, so Id probably swing toward buying a pair, assuming that Im bowling twice a year. If you assume that its actually going to be much less than twice a year, youre going to be better off renting. I usually use a five year measure for calculations like this, because I figure its pretty hard to predict accurately what my life will be like beyond that time threshold and its also probably a reasonable guess as to the wear and tear that an item can take. Usually, with a five year calculation, its obvious whether its a good move or not. Again, in this situation, those bowling shoes arent going to be worn out after ten wears, so its likely you will be able to continue wearing them at that point or theyll have some minor secondhand value. This pushes the pendulum even more toward buying them. Q3: Used car seats? I am expecting in November. My husband and I are starting to pick up baby items from FB Marketplace and Craigslist. Whenever a carseat is listed on Marketplace someone always comments that you shouldnt buy used carseats because theyre not safe. How are used carseats not safe? Amy A carseat is one of the few baby options I wouldnt buy used. The reason is simple: a big part of whats protecting that baby when theyre in the carseat is plastic, and you dont know how that plastic has been treated. Theres some chance that the plastic has become brittle and could easily crack or break in a severe impact, just when you need it the most. This can happen, for example, if a carseat has been left in the sun too much over the course of years. Its not an issue of negligence its an issue of you not knowing the history of that carseat. It may have had years of sunlight exposure, rendering the protection that it offers your child much weaker. Most baby items are fine to buy used clothes and baby monitors and things like that. Those arent things that will cause calamity if they fail and its usually obvious if theyre doing their job or not. A car seat, though, is something you should invest in. 99.9% of the time, it wont matter, but 0.1% of the time, it matters more than anything else and youll never, ever want to skimp on that situation. Q4: Excessive leftovers On any given night we will have 2-7 people at our house for dinner. By default we cook for 7 but that means that many nights we have a ton of leftovers. We eat leftovers for lunch every day but they still get tossed a lot. We cant give them to the food pantry either. Ideas? Andy My first suggestion would be to simply have a leftover buffet night for dinner twice a week or so. On, say, Wednesdays and Saturdays, just pull out all leftovers, put them on the table, and let people assemble their own plates of leftovers and heat them up (or heat up the hot items before putting them on the buffet). That way, the leftovers get consumed directly and you have a free dinner. Another suggestion is to frequently make meals and side dishes that are easy to remix into another meal if you have a low turnout. For example, if you make a bunch of spaghetti, you can save it for two nights and then mix in a few additional spices, put it in a greased 9 by 13 pan, put a couple cups of mozzarella and provolone shredded cheese on top, and bake it for 30-45 minutes, covered for the first half, to make a nice spaghetti bake. We also often have plain vegetables as a side dish and save the leftovers to make quick soups later on, for example. A final suggestion is that on nights where you have a low turnout, simply prep leftover plates for the next night and have the same thing for dinner again, or prepare a different dinner the next night for just the two who ate the night before. I dont think you need to feel obligated to have a fresh meal on the table for whoever happens to show up each night. Q5: Friends want me to spend Im 23 and got a nice job out of college paying $45K per year. Several of my friends from college are in the same area and have jobs as well so its fun to hang out with them, but it feels like they want to blow their income as fast as possible. They go out drinking and to clubs constantly, upgrade their phones all the time, ride around in Ubers when they have cars, and throw money at stupid stuff. I want to get rid of my student loan debt and start saving for a house and Im already contributing to retirement so I can get out of this as young as possible. Its not like Im avoiding fun but theres a ton of stuff to do that doesnt cost $50 or $100 for an evening. When I suggest anything else other than clubs or an expensive restaurant, I get ignored. Do you have any suggestions? Amy Find new friends? I mean, that sounds fairly cold, but it sounds like your values are diverging from the values that your friends hold, or perhaps they were always divergent and the income just exposed it. While I dont mind being acquaintances with people with drastically different lifestyles than my own, I have found its far more pleasant and easier to have close friends who have similar values and lifestyles to my own. That way, Im not pushed to overspend constantly just to spend time with my friends. I have been in situations where it felt like I had to pay some kind of admission fee (in the form of going out when I didnt want to) just to hang out with a friend and if I wasnt willing to do that, that person wouldnt hang out with me. That just isnt worth it. Id suggest digging into activities that you feel internally interested in doing. Find groups in your community that match up well with that by using things like Meetup and there youll find people who are also interested in what you happen to be internally interested in. Get involved in those groups. Youll find its not too hard to build friendships that way. Q6: Value of one bag living I found your post on one bag living to be interesting but not practical. Its not like more than maybe 0.001% of your readers will actually ever do it. What is the practical value of such an article? Ollie The practical value of it is that it really shows you how few items you actually need to have a happy and comfortable life, and when you realize that, you begin to realize how much extra unnecessary stuff you have and how much that stuff is costing you, both in terms of the stuff itself and the space youre paying for to store all of that stuff. Lets say, for example, that you decided to try it for a month. You packed a big duffel bag full of stuff and aimed to live solely out of that bag for that month. During the month, almost everything you use comes out of that bag other than maybe a few kitchen items, you really dont use anything else in your home. At the end of the month, youre left asking yourself what the point of all of that other stuff is. Why have any of it if youre able to have a great life without touching it? Why have shelves full of books and DVDs you never touch? Why have a television if you have a good life not watching it? This is likely to lead you to start downsizing your possessions, recouping some money along the way, and its also likely to lead you to question almost all of your physical purchases. If you keep going in that direction, youll find that you likely have excessive living space and can easily be satisfied with a smaller home or apartment, and if you downsize that, then youre on the way to some serious financial improvement in your life, as youre losing far less money to utilities, insurance, property taxes, and so on. Q7: Buying a house on $35K I am a single woman with a four year old child from a previous marriage; the father is not involved and avoids paying child support. We live in a small apartment in [a large city with a moderate cost of living]. I make $35K per year. My mom lives about five miles away and takes care of my son when Im working and hes not in preschool as she has a pension thats enough for her to live on because my father died in the workplace. I would like to be able to afford a small house for us and get out of this apartment building before hes too old because theres kind of a rough culture of teenage boys here. I would like to be in a house in four years. I have no debts and am saving about $200 a month for emergencies. Carrie First of all, Id contact a lawyer and do what you can to get child support. The cost of supporting your child should not be borne solely by you and hes legally obligated to provide financial help here even if hes uninvolved. Second of all, $200 a month in savings thats also used as an emergency fund isnt adequate to get to where you want to go in four years. I looked into your area and a small starter home is going to run you in the $300K range now and will probably be closer to $350K by the time you want to buy. 20% of $350K is $70K. If youre saving $200 a month, youll get to about $10K in four years if there are no emergencies. To get to $70K in four years, you need to be saving around $1,500 a month and have no emergencies that tap that money. Considering that youre making about $3,000 a month before taxes, thats an extremely difficult proposition. Thus, to make it to your target, youre going to have to do some radical things. The first thing I would do is sit down with your mother and discuss the option of cohabitation for a few years, with you splitting up the housing costs. If she could move into your apartment or you two could move into her dwelling and its a tenable situation for a few years, youll both save a mint. If youre paying $1,000 a month in rent and it suddenly drops to $500 a month, theres $500 a month toward savings, and probably more than that because youll have lower utility bills and you can more easily share food costs. You may find that after you buy that starter home, it may make sense to have your mother continue to live with you to keep costs manageable going forward, at least for a while. If you can swing something like that, use a lot of smart frugal tactics like sticking with store brand items when shopping, get on that child support issue, and keep working at your career to move toward a better salary, you can make this work. Without those kinds of big changes, this probably isnt a realistic goal. Q8: How to avoid drive-thrus How do you stop relying on the convenience of drive-thrus? I understand that its way cheaper to make meals at home but when I can just go to a drive-thru and get a quick meal and have it eaten before I even get home or eat it right when I walk in the door and theres no cleanup because I just toss the wrappers, its hard to convince myself to make a big mess making a meal at home. Leon There are a few good strategies for solving this problem that work well for different people. I suggest trying one for at least 30 days, see if it clicks with you or merely causes frustration, and either stick with it if it works or move on to another if it doesnt. First, try simply packing a meal for yourself at home before you leave in a small cooler. Make something simple that you like a sandwich and some baby carrots and a drink or whatever. Pack the individual items in reusable containers and put them in something insulated with an ice pack to keep it cool. Take that meal with you when you go out and save it at your desk or in a work fridge until youre ready to leave, then eat that on the way home. You can do the meal prep the night before while watching a television show and if you use reusable containers, cleanup is really just a matter of popping stuff in the dishwasher and wiping off the table (which youd need to do anyway). If you want, you can designate Fridays as eat out days and keep it as a treat for yourself for getting through the week. Another thing I strongly suggest is to simply get better at cooking at home. Cooking seems very difficult at first and even easy things like scrambled eggs feel like a giant mess and a big time and energy investment, but once you get more practiced, it stops feeling so challenging. Start by making really simple meals that you like grilled cheese sandwiches or scrambled eggs or spaghetti. Another strategy is to cook things in advance, make individual meals out of them in reusable containers, and keep them in the fridge. For example, you could make a huge batch of spaghetti one night and pack three or four individual meals of spaghetti with a breadstick in resealable containers in the fridge. Then, you can take them to work with you and youll also know that one is just waiting for you when you get home. Yet another strategy is to use a slow cooker. Start a simple dump meal before you leave (a dump meal means you just dump several ingredients in there and turn it on low) and youll have a hot home-cooked meal waiting for you when you get home. Slow cookers are great for stews, chili, soups, and simple casseroles; it can also make a mean pot roast. The goal of all of these things is to either put something in your hands directly so that youre not tempted to stop or have something at home waiting for you so youre not tempted to stop. Q9: Medical insurance difficulties I am covered by [a major medical insurer] through my workplace. A few months ago, I had a procedure done that my doctors office informed me would be fully covered by my insurance. They filed this with the insurance and the insurance company came back saying that the procedure wasnt medically necessary and wouldnt cover it, so my doctor is now billing me for it at the tune of $30K. I dont even know where to start. Should I contact a lawyer? Petra Without seeing the bills and documentation, I cant give you full advice on what to do. However, my first step would be to document every single detail that you can recall about this entire process, including dates and what you were told by both your doctors office and insurance. If you have any supporting documents, such as receipts and printed information about the procedure or about the costs, thats all valuable here. Then, I would go through the process of appealing this claim with your insurer, providing a copy of all of that documentation. An appeal should definitely be your first action. If you find that your appeal is denied, you should then discuss the matter with your doctor and attempt to get their bill reduced. If youre still finding that youre paying an excessive amount, then I would take all of this documentation to a lawyer and get legal help. It very much sounds like you were given inaccurate guidance from a doctors office and a lawyer can usually help here. Q10: Budget brands? Are there any budget brands you trust for making high quality stuff? Meaning brands that are cheap in price but the quality of their stuff is good? Darren The store brands at most department stores and grocery store chains fit that bill. For the vast majority of product types, the store brand is as good as most of the name brand options. They might not beat some of the really high end premium versions of those products, but the store brand is usually as good as 80% of similar items on the shelf. For things like charging cables and basic electronics like computer mice or keyboards, Ive found that Amazons generic brand, Amazon Basics, is really good for the price. For many different kinds of smaller electronic items, like external batteries for charging devices on the go or headphones or things of that nature, I strongly trust Anker. If theres an Anker option for a small electronic device, youre probably getting great bang for the buck with it. Those are the ones that immediately come to mind as brands that I strongly trust that consistently provide good bang for the buck across a wide variety of products. Q11: Starting career advice My oldest son is about to graduate from college with a degree in electrical engineering. I am collecting career advice from some people I respect to pass along to him. What advice would you give to a fresh college graduate in a technical field today? Robert First of all, treat the first decade of your career as an opportunity to build skills and relationships above chasing salary. A killer resume ten years from now will be worth a lot more than earning an extra $5K or $10K right out of the gate. If one job pays a little more but feels like a dead end, while the other job pays a little less but feels like its overflowing with opportunities and ways to build relationships, take the latter job in the first decade of your career. Second, if your workplace offers a 401(k) plan, take advantage of it immediately and contribute as much as you can stand. You will never regret this. Just do this and then start off with smaller take-home checks theyll still be a lot more than what you had in college. Pay yourself first. Third, no matter how tough a situation is, dont burn bridges, even if it would feel good. If youre moving on from a position, do it as gently as possible and be as positive and flexible as you can on your way out. Finally, eat healthy, get some exercise, get plenty of sleep, and dont work too many hours. If you dont do those things, youll be far less productive during your work time, the quality of work you produce will be lower, and youll have a harder time picking up new skills. If your workplace is obsessed with 80 hour workweeks, carve out as much of that 80 hours toward self care and rest that you can reasonably get away with. Q12: Thoughts on taekwondo I was wondering if you could share your thoughts on taekwondo from the perspective of both a parent of a student and as a participant with an eye toward cost. Is it worth it? Do your kids get value out of it? How about yourself? Brenda I attend a local taekwondo school with the rest of my family. It was an activity that my two oldest children wanted to try and the family plan isnt much more expensive than just the two of them participating, so when our family schedule lined up and our youngest was old enough, we all joined. In effect, our third family member was half price and the rest of us are effectively going for free, and the price has actually gone down as some family members have reached black belt rank (and those who havent are at a belt rank approaching black). First of all, if youre new to martial arts of any kind, its something you should shop around for. Any city of any size likely has a few martial arts schools; a larger city likely has some dedicated taekwondo schools with branches in various locations. Different schools offer different prices and different philosophies. Taekwondo is a martial art thats focused on fast, high kicking. That means that it really works hard on agility and balance. Theres also an emphasis on forms, which are sequences of kicks and other movements that are memorized and done from memory, which challenges a persons memory while physically exerting themselves. Our familys interest in martial arts lies much more in the realm of self improvement, character building, self defense, and fitness rather than training to fight. There are definitely martial arts schools that are very focused on simply training to fight, preparing people for things like mixed martial arts. Theres nothing wrong with that, but its not what Sarah or I were looking for in a school. We wanted a school where the merit wasnt in whether you defeat someone in a fight, but whether youre working hard and genuinely improving yourself so that youre better at the techniques, better in all around fitness, and better in character than you were the day before. Again, I have nothing against a school focused on fight-focused training, but its just not what Im looking for or what I would direct my children toward until theyre old enough to make those kinds of choices for themselves. Perhaps someday theyll take what theyve learned and move in that direction, and Im fine with that. When my oldest son and daughter began expressing a genuine interest in taekwondo, we shopped around for local schools that offered dedicated youth programs and were focused on a self-improvement type of martial art philosophy, and we found one that we liked that had classes near us, and over time, we all joined up. I think it has genuinely helped our children improve their ability to focus, their ability to overcome challenges, their character, and most definitely their ability to defend themselves and get out of a threatening situation. As a parent, Im thrilled with the impact taekwondo has had on them. As for myself, I joined because I agree in a deep philosophical way with the goals and direction of the school, as well as the fact that I was looking for a fitness program for myself and an opportunity to mutually encourage my family to be more fit. This hits all of those marks and with family rates, its pretty inexpensive. If you divide our session fees by five, theres absolutely no way any of us could be in a sport or a fitness program at these rates. If someone is interested in taekwondo or martial arts in general, Id start by figuring out why you want to do it. What are you hoping to get out of it, or what do you want your child to get out of it? Self-discipline? Fitness? Self-defense? Character? What are the one or two things you want most for yourself or for your child that you hope martial arts can provide? Start from there and shop around at a lot of schools in your area. Theyll all have different philosophies and centers of focus some of them will line up well with your own goals and philosophies, while others will go in a different direction (not wrong or bad, just different). Find some that match what you want, price compare them, and give one a try for a session and see if its right for you. Got any questions? The best way to ask is to follow me on Facebook and ask questions directly there. Ill attempt to answer them in a future mailbag (which, by way of full disclosure, may also get re-posted on other websites that pick up my blog). However, I do receive many, many questions per week, so I may not necessarily be able to answer yours. https://www.thesimpledollar.com/questions-about-car-seats-leftovers-medical-insurance-budget-brands-and-more/