#that intergenerational trauma be hitting

[everyscreentoobeseen]

This congruent to the Bad Parent Alfred Pennyworth Callout post

But this got me thinking of who in the batfamily would actually call Alfred out on his bs, because I know Bruce wouldn't even question the way Alfred raised him.

Dick Grayson was the first and most likely the (unwanted) most rambunctious granchild. Alfred would of thought Bruce was too young and too obsessed with Batman to actually handle a kid. He got "stuck" once with taking care of a kid so he damn sure wasn't going to let that happen again.

He would perform his butlery duties and always redirected Dick's questions or signs of affection back to Bruce. You wanted him, you deal with him. Once he knew he was a permanent addition to the household he would grow a little warmer to the tween but by the time Dick decides flys solo he would come to regret not taking on a more paternal role since he misses the young Grayson's presence. They only ever exchange pleasantry calls until Tim and Damian want their big brother over.

Jason is his chance to do things right. He is no longer just the butler, he is Jason's second parent. His disciplinary, his theater partner, his Grandpa Pennyworth. He lets Bruce leaves weeks on end to save the world since it gives him plenty of time to teach Jason the correct way to assemble and dissemble a semi automatic pistol. When Red Hood comes back, they have their secret cooking classes and tea times every week.

Tim cares only about saving Batman. Bruce Wayne's butler might make sure they both make it to see another day. But if Tim refused to see Bruce as a Dad there was no way he would let himself think of Alfred as a Grandfather. Eventually things change but Tim has a bad habit of trying to dig into his [REDACTED] past so it's best to keep the boy at arm's length.

Damian is a harsher more isolated version of Bruce. Alfred will be damned if he lets this child go down the exact same path as his predecessor. He might not be as intimidating as Damian's OTHER Grandfather but he can be warmer than Ra's.

Cass sees through everyone. She knows exactly what traits Bruce absorbed from Alfred. Most of them harmful. She knows how much Alfred's words cut Bruce when he's trying to hide it in a witty remark. She sees how Dick and Tim are more tense around Alfred than Jason and Damian. She knows when Alfred is forcing himself to try and engage with her, when his body language screams he dosent understand anything about how to approach her. He is Bruce's closest person and their bodies still act like strangers to eachother. He is nice, but his words don't match his emotions. Cass doesn't know how that can work.

TDLR/In Conclusion

In order of who is most likely to call out Alfred

Highest to Lowest

Dick (he likes to start fights)

Cass (she knows it still hurts the family)

Tim (He got hard evidence of the bs)

Damian (He would try and defend Al until Valid Points are brought up. It doesn't change the DW/AP relationship but it does explain some things)

Jason (Deny Deny Deny. That's his Grandpa. Grandpa can do no wrong. Bruce probably deserved it lol. Then he goes home and actually thinks about it. Alfred could have easily killed Joker by now if he wanted to.... He just didn't..... and he dosent have a no kill code...Ensue Jason not meeting Alfred for Tea anymore.)

If i was writing this, they'd all go to magic therapy and get over this hill and everyone would apologize but..... eh i don't mind perma angst.

[nico-moist-moses]

Please don't take mental health advice from the emotionally constipated man, Dipper

[botaniqueer]

Anyone who denies the Holocaust is a nasty bigot who erases and invalidates the suffering countless marginalized groups, but the Holocaust (very much real!!) is talked about in a propagandic manner, in that the US and its allies set the narrative in such a way that portrays them as the unambiguous heroes and objectively good.

If the Holocaust was taught honestly, it would be mentioned that the US and Canada turned away refugees including Anne Frank's family. The Allies were also all fine with marginalized people getting killed; eugenics was very popular at the time with all of them. They got involved when the Axis started encroaching on them, and not to save vulnerable populations. "Saving the Jews" was just a side effect, and unfortunately something they use to justify the ongoing Nakba, slaughtering countless Palestinians over the past century.

If the US actually respected the story of the Holocaust like it very pleadingly claims it does, it would have mentioned all this, alongside all the other genocides it and its now-allies have been involved with. (It structurally cannot do this, for it would invalidate its own existence if done in full.)

Along with being Jewish, I am also Filipino so I have another genocide under my belt that the US has involvement in. The Philippine genocide (TW for old BW photos of death, destruction, descriptions of war crimes) is rarely taught, probably because the US can't (falsely) claim to be the hero, and also because it's geographically removed.

"Kill everyone over the age of ten [and make the island] a howling wilderness" is a quote from a notoriously bloodthirsty US army officer involved with the genocide and who may have killed up to 5,000 people.

This is partially a late night stream-of-conscious post on genocide and how the US and its allies frame it, partially some longer-stewing thoughts I had been wanting to write on for a while.

[raayllum]

"imperfect protagonists" CHET becomes closer to canon by each passing day.....

Listen it makes me think either my "mutual salvation" theory where Rayla helps save Callum emotionally from Aaravos and Callum helps save her physically is happening or that they're just ramping up Callum's desperation to protect her / his loved ones ten fold before the Big Finish, i.e. Key exchange / sacrifice (and with some more outright Aaravos manipulation before he shows his hand) and honestly the chess symbolism is just chef's kiss

Aka I loved the line from Soren's short story of "They're not games. They're tests" and also noticed that Bait's promo pic on the official website has him with the cube and like. Like Come On

[willgaham]

currently watching sharp objects and like. yeah. i can tell this will damage me greatly

[allbeendonebefore]

me: my job is not difficult why am i so tired

me: could it be because you sat on zoom for 6 hours

me: Or That Today Was About Unpacking Everyone’s Fears And Traumas and So The Topics Were All REALLY Heavy and Personal and Even If You’re Not In Person or Experiencing it IT’S STILL PALPABLE AND VERY EMOTIONAL

me: oh ah that’s probably it yeah

[star-anise]

Ask I got on my sideblog but am answering here:

Hi there! I know you're a therapist and I have a question: I saw some people arguing on Twitter about the impacts of trauma. There was a therapist among them, and they had a masters degree in social work, they post about it often. They say that people who have experienced trauma hurt other people because it benefits them or gives them pleasure, and they are disconnected from empathy and sympathy. That seems wrong, but maybe it's not? That's all, thanks!

Ooof, yeah, that's... complicated. It's technically true, but also frequently used as a lie.

Trigger warning: Child abuse, child grooming, interpersonal violence, trauma (childhood & intergenerational), true crime, totalitarianism

Because basically, that describes MOST humans who decide to hurt other humans on purpose without a strong ulterior motive. That's not a trauma thing, that's a human thing.

I babysit for a family with a 1-year-old and a 3-year-old. When the 1yo does something to upset their older sibling, and that sibling winds up and smacks them, that's the same basic thing. It benefits them (makes 1yo go away), brings them pleasure (having an outlet for their anger is very satisfying), and they're disconnected from empathy (they're often surprised and confused when the 1yo is crying, because they're 3 and THEY feel fine and they don't really understand yet that other people's feelings really exist) or even sympathy (understanding that if you hit someone, they will probably be upset). That's something we adults have to watch out for and intervene in, because empathy and impulse control take time to learn.

But as for where trauma figures into this... how to explain.

There's this old logical puzzle about categories, where you say things like:

All dogs have four legs*

A dog is an animal

And then the catch is that you can't extend that to say

All animals have four legs

*RIP to all the tripods and legless animals that apparently aren't dogs anymore for the purposes of this logic exercise

Animals obviously include fish and millipedes and whales and snakes and jellyfish. The number of legs an animal can have is HIGHLY diverse, and will eventually lead to a debate on what the definition of "leg" is.

So there is this common thing we see:

Some people are much more violent and aggressive than other people

These violent and aggressive people have almost always experienced some form of trauma/abuse/neglect

And the link people are really prone to thinking is:

People who have experienced trauma/abuse/neglect will go on to being violent and aggressive with other people.

This is incorrect. To some degree, I can see why it's widely believed - after all, way more people tune in to learn about a serial killer's abusive childhood than for the more common story, which is survivors of trauma slowly going about their lives in ordinary undramatic ways.

Because the thing is, trauma is REALLY diverse. Humans are inherently varied and a bit chaotic, since we can choose very different ways to live and operate, and trauma splits that variability like a prism turning light into a rainbow. Only about 30% of abused children grow up to be abusive themselves. The other 70% choose very different lives.

And yet. My eternal question is: WHY is this such a meme? Why do so many people with a shitty childhood flinch at the 30% statistic and think, "Is that me? Am I destined to be a monster?" Why does this story have legs, when so many other facts about trauma have way more empirical backing and usefulness and get very little attention?

I submit that there is one group that fucking LOVES the idea that traumatized person equals abuser. One group that pushes it into the discourse, in international media or around the family kitchen table, with great ingenuity and gusto.

Abusers.

They love it for two reasons. The most obvious reason is: It absolves them of their actions. "It wasn't ME who hit you, it was my childhood trauma!" A veritable classic excuse that takes their agency out of the equation. And it really can be hard to tell when it's a good excuse and when it isn't!

Reason two is the more insidious one: It cuts their victim's sense of goodness, worthiness, and moral certainty out from under them.

It's as simple as saying, "Look at how you pushed back at me (when I was abusing you)! You're the REAL abuser here!" It's the heart of what domestic abuse researchers call DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender). It can be that simple, or it can be so complicated and byzantine it makes your head hurt.

I only really got a handle on understanding this thanks to a friend, who said she was okay with me sharing this story if I didn't identify her. I won't go into any unrelated details of her abuse, but for the record, hers is probably the most extreme case of anyone I've personally interacted with, and I used to work as a therapist and in domestic violence shelters. Her dad heinously abused her as a child. He'd also studied psychology in university. I have been trying to fathom how the fuck anyone could do what he did to her for YEARS, and I think I've got a few viabletheories.

So. She was an ordinary child, bright, warmhearted, well-behaved, and a bit autistic. A bit more naive and trusting than your average preschooler. I imagine that from his perspective, there was the convenient benefit that he often had unrestricted access to her, and he could relatively easily overpower and manipulate her.

But she had one serious downside: If anyone ever found out what he was doing to her, they would go fucking apeshit. She wasn't really prone to lying or acting out, so people would treat her as a fairly credible reporter; several other adults found her she was lovable, innocent, and endearing; and what he wanted to do to her was, I repeat, heinous.

So while he abused her, one of the things he said was: "I'm doing this because I was abused as a child. That's how it works. All abusers come from abuse. There are statistics proving it. This means you're an abuser too. See what society thinks about child abusers? That's what people will think about you, if they know that you've been abused."

And she was, you know, a child, not someone who studied psych research. He was her dad. So she believed him.

She thought that he was using his adult brain to correctly assess the truth about her as a person, for purely objective reasons. The way you'd try to teach a kid who talks with their mouth full about table manners. It's been a couple decades now, but she is still very slowly chipping away at her core belief that she is inherently awful and only her father recognized the truth about her.

Sometimes when we talk about it I have to bite my tongue because I'm sitting here trying to figure out what the fuck was going on with him, an adult man who wanted to abuse her because he'd really enjoy it. I think about him trying to figure out how to manipulate an innocent child into accepting being abused, and minimize the risk that he'd go to jail for it. And although I hate his everloving guts, I'm almost a bit impressed at his level of machiavellian audacity, to come up with a line that was SUCH hot bullshit that people have devoted their entire careers into proving it false, and yet, because it hit exactly the right psychological issue at exactly the right psychological stage and his intended victim was so trusting, he could get her to believe him enough to turn that lie into her core identity.

Praise be to G-d and Criminal Minds, he did not, in the end, get away with it. She got enough courage to tell people, and get free of him. And she is not, in fact, a horrible abusive person.

But I think what he did so very brazenly is what a lot of abusers do, in more disguised and indirect ways. Probably partly because it really helps, when abusing people, not to treat them like human beings with their own thoughts and feelings, but if one must posit that they have something going on between their ears, it's easiest to assume that everyone else responds to trauma with aggression and abuse. After all, considering the possibility that someone like them could choose not to be abusive takes all the fun and plausible deniability out of the whole affair.

But now I see echoes of that "my victims are just as bad as I am" tactic all over the place. I honestly think it's a very similar mechanism that Hannah Arendt pointed out in The Origins of Totalitarianism. She observes that violent totalitarian regimes routinely accuse their intended victims of the very act they intend to commit themselves, to justify a "retaliation" that's actually just aggression. Think claiming "Our opponents are rigging this election" as an excuse to rig an election in the opposite direction.)

To sum up: You're human. Humans can do good and bad things. It's not necessarily good to completely forswear anything violent or angry in you, but to come up with a framework of how to be assertive and get your needs met in an ethical fashion. There are times it is appropriate and even necessary to escape or fight against somebody else's will.

On the other hand, If find yourself inflicting pain on other people on a regular basis, get some support and take a good hard look at your life choices. Sometimes it's hard to figure out how to solve problems in your life without violence or aggression, and you might need some help with that. Maybe talk to a counsellor or learn anger management skills.

But in no way is it predestined, inherent, implicit, or doomed, that your experiences and brain wiring make you violent or evil. You always have the choice to define yourself beyond what was done to you.

[historic-meme]

Today is Holocaust Remembrance Day. This whole week l have been thinking alot about the Holocaust. So last night I re-read maus. One panel really stuck out to me during this reading. For context this is in Maus 2 when Art is talking to his therapist, a Holocaust survivor, about how he feels he could never measure up to his father who survived Auschwitz. At this point in the story his father had already past. May his memory be a blessing.

The dialogue, “but you weren’t in Auschwitz. You were in Rego Park,” hit me like a punch to the chest. I have no better way to explain the paradoxical guilt I felt and continue to feel as the granddaughter of a Holocaust survivor. I did not live during the Holocaust. It had ended before my grandmother reached eighteen years old. And yet, the Shoah seems to loom over me. Forever a reminder, that I am alive by sheer luck. My great grandfather’s parents as well as two of his brothers were murdered in Auschwitz. My great grandmother’s twin sister was also murdered in the Holocaust. Despite hours of research, I still have no idea where exactly she died.

Using the term guilty for what I feel doesn’t seem exactly right but there is no better word in the English language. Maybe if I was smarter or more articulate I could find better words.

A key theme of this chapter is intergenerational trauma. This is the same chapter that has this iconic image.

On this Holocaust Remembrance Day, I simply want to acknowledge the real and extremely painful intergenerational trauma and inherited survivors guilt felt by descendants of Jewish survivors. I know I struggled in the past with feeling like I even have any right to feel this way considering I am three generations removed from any of my family that were murdered in the Holocaust. If any other Jews struggle with thoughts like this, I want to assure you that your feelings are valid and real. Intergenerational trauma is complicated and the feelings that come with it don’t simply disappear once a certain number of generations from the event pass.

This post is specifically about the Holocaust and jewish intergenerational trauma stemming from our persecution and genocide. If this post resonates with you as a non-Jew who has intergenerational trauma I am glad, but please do not derail this post.

[lurkingshan]

Hii, hope you're doing well!! I've been meaning to check out more c-dramas. I've never really watched any, but I keep seeing them on my dash and want to start giving some a shot since I watch every other type of drama (BL or otherwise lol). I saw you post often about c-dramas, so I wanted to ask if you had any other recs besides Tender Light (which I'm planning on watching when it's done)? I'm more curious about c-dramas in general rather than any specific genre, since I'm so new to them

Hello, thank you for the ask! I'm glad my obsessive Tender Light posting has got you curious about cdramas. Some of my all time favorite dramas are from Mainland China, and I would be happy to share some recs! Since you are looking for a general sense, I am just going to give you a sampling of some of my personal favs.

Tender Light

Obviously I will be taking this opportunity to talk up this drama some more, which will be ending its run this weekend. This is, hands down, my favorite drama of the year and easily going on my top 10 dramas of all time list. It's one of the most gorgeous and precise and unflinching pieces of media I have ever seen. This is definitely one for people who love smart mystery writing, dark themes (I mean this for real, if you have a lot of triggers ask for CWs), and explorations of the human condition. It will be staying with me for a long time.

Go Ahead

Another of my all time favs (and with cast crossover from Tender Light), this is a family drama that digs deep on the meaning of family, finding your people, and resilience through intergenerational trauma. I love it so so much (I am actually rewatching it right now).

Lighter & Princess

A fantastic romance and owner of a coveted spot on the ride or die drama couples list. In this story you get to watch these two fall in love twice, first in college and then as adults, and both times it's epic.

Reset

How about a time loop thriller? This is one of the best I have ever seen, and its relatively short run keeps it tight and tense all the way through. There's a romance in this one, too, but kissing is definitely secondary to finding their way out of this death trap.

The Rebel Princess

Let's dip our toe into historicals! Granted, I still have plenty of gaps in my historical cdrama watch list (there are just so many and they're so long, I am doing my best people!) but this remains my all time favorite to date. It's epic, it's shockingly well written and paced for its length, the characters are excellent and compelling all around, and it has one of my all time favorite male leads and drama couples (another from the ride or die list!). Don't let the episode number intimidate you, it will fly by much faster than you think.

The Untamed

You watch bl so I am assuming you already know about Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, but just in case I will also include this drama as a much watch. It's likely the best live action danmei we will ever get.

Love Between Fairy and Devil

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if a show put all your favorite fanfic tropes in a blender, cast beautiful people to act them out, and put them in lavish costumes? Well, here is your answer.

Love and Redemption

This one's for us angst with a happy ending girlies. An epic love story with lots of pining and struggle and strife, and it's so worth it.

Falling Into You

Back to the modern era, this is a classic sports drama with a noona romance. Very unassuming but full of charm and very well executed.

Fake It Till You Make It

An unusually mature take on adult romance from a cdrama, this one is about two career focused permasingle love skeptics who meet, realize they actually like each other, and try to figure out what the hell to do with that. I love it a lot.

That should be enough to get you started! There are many many more recs to be had, so once you give some of these a try and figure out what you like, feel free to hit me up for more!

[waitmyturtles]

Love For Love's Sake: unorganized musings on an utterly brilliant show

TW: suicide, suicide attempts and ideation among LGBTQ+ youth

I love that @lurkingshan clocked early on, before my heated two-day binge of Love For Love's Sake, that I would NOT be able to write meta on this show right after I watched it. It's been five days, and all I have are just loose mental strings. Everyone has had such amazing input and theories and thoughts into this incredible show. What I said to @bengiyo while I was watching it was: I'm not entirely sure I'm following everything, but this show is still hitting every high point of my dopamine cycle, which means it's GOOD, and maybe making sense, somehow.

In any case, I don't think I can write meta on this show, in part because I don't know if there are any concrete conclusions I can come to about this show -- which I think is an inherent part of its brilliance. I'm just in awe that we, as BL fans, got this show in the genre we love, complete with stellar acting, gorgeous cinematography, phenomenal writing, all of it. (I'm back a lot on iQIYI right now, ready for my KinnPorsche OGMMTVC rewatch, and I'm noticing that LFLS is just eating by way of numbers. Fucking WELL DESERVED.)

All I want to do is just share some instinctual feelings about where my mind was landing a couple days after I finished watching LFLS. This is the scene I've been thinking about the most right now.

I don't have a theory as to the "reality" of the ending of the show -- if Myungha is alive in "reality," is alive in an alternate universe, is reincarnated, or if what's shown at the end of the series is a kind of heaven. I love that there's no real way we can interpret that.

What I love about this scene that I've screencapped -- and thinking about the elusive and inconclusive meanings of the ending -- is that, truly, theories about fate and destiny ARE indeed theories. Myungha's grandmother believes one thing, and Myungha believes something else. Sunbae is able to play around with.... something, with time, with fate, with our dependence on technology, something, to make something happen to Myungha that gives him a happy ending with Yeowoon somewhere, sometime, in some wrinkle of time.

Going back for a second (I told you these thoughts were unorganized), something that hit me deeply about this show were the great number of themes it touched upon. This show touched upon:

Suicide Homophobia Bullying Self-acceptance Self-love Familial abandonment Familial abuse Substance abuse Intergenerational trauma Elder hierarchy and respect (both in families and in society) Pre-destination Christianity (stay with me for a sec) Buddhism (same)

and probably many more that I'm missing.

I couldn't help but think of Lee Sun-Kyun's recent suicide in South Korea -- even though this show was likely produced well before that incident. Nonetheless, it had me thinking about what suicide means in South Korea, considering the ever-growing presence of Christianity in that country, with 23% of South Koreans identifying as some kind of Christian. The show also had me thinking in general of sins, and of fate, in Christianity.

Just thinking out loud. Korea produces fewer BLs than we'd expect from that national entertainment powerhouse. Efforts to cancel Seoul Pride last year were made in earnest by pro-Christian forces -- but Pride won out.

As same-sex orientation so often is, suicide is also discouraged in Christian circles. We can see, literally, how homosexuality is discouraged in South Korea vis à vis Pride. I'll assume the same for suicide in South Korea, despite the many celebrities in the recent past that have met that fate publicly.

What does South Korea feel about the suicides of young people who might be queer? The percentages of suicidal ideation and suicide attempts among South Korean LGBTQ+ youth are high.

We can see and feel the palpable message from LFLS that self-love, despite how oneself, and society, might feel about an individual's sexual orientation, is well worth fighting for and celebrating. But Myungha, in some reality, is still dead. And death will be his eventual fate anyway, as will be the fate for all of us.

If Myungha found self-love, AND love through Yeowoon, and found a happy ending in happiness, somewhere, somehow, then -- any Christian judgements about same-sex orientations and suicide are moot, regarding Myungha's fate.

But Myungha also reveals, vis à vis his grandmother, the Buddhist spin on fate. He mentions that she believes in reincarnation. He mentions that she believes in doing good in this life, so as to have a happy life after reincarnation.

And he refutes that. He says -- no. Predestination of any kind is not right. I believe that one can change their lives NOW, in the present, for a happier fate and future, NOW. Otherwise, why even bother trying?

And Sunbae hears that, and constructs a world in which Myungha COULD find a path to a happier ending, simply by working on finding love for himself and unto himself -- in part, though a partner that Myungha relates to deeply at the start of the series. (That Yeowoon might very well be the EMBODIMENT of self-love that Myungha discovers -- yes, that may also be "true" of the show's ending. Whew.)

You know what I love about this show? I love that this show just absolutely CHEWED UP those predestination theories that we get from our generations past, from the spiritual practices that we may have grown up with -- from the indirect, unspoken, unconscious ASSUMPTIONS we may have about life and death. This show iterated that being either in "the" or "a" now, a present, and being willing to change oneself (which I've often written about as being THE hardest thing you can you in your life) can have great, long-lasting -- even eternal benefits and consequences.

I love that this show says: you don't have to rely on all the structures and expectations that lead one to behave the way that they do. We might always expect to be a group of schoolboys who'll bully another for being gay. But -- did we expect one of those bullies to BE gay? The show said, we can also very much turn that on its head, even though it might cost someone some bruises.

Within the absolute truth that all humans will die one day -- what other absolute truths do we have? Man. I need a vacation, some..... stuff, you know what I mean, I need TIME to contemplate that.

This show said, no absolute truths today. Everything is up for grabs by way of how we'll love and accept people, and this show examined ALL THE WAYS, good AND bad, that people are loved and accepted, from total rejection by a parent, to unconditional love from a partner, with a slipper-bearing and loving grandma in-between.

It's been... what, five days since I finished this show, and I CANNOT stop thinking about it. It's just brilliant. These thoughts were messy, but it's meant to be, because I just -- this show, I just can't with how brilliant this show was about all of the inconclusiveness of it that still told such an amazing story.

[verdemoun]

timewarp au btw sean becomes a da also this is why i haven't been able to write any fics yet this is just dot points and it's 1000 words

maeve beatrice macguire was born roughly eight years into the timewarp and chaos would be an understatement.

life was going so well karen and sean are still in the trailer on lenny and jenny's driveway. they'd just figured out how to connect the hot water system in their trailer to the solar panels so they didn't have to go inside the main house to shower.

blissful polyamorous life where lenny gets to be with both jenny and sean, and sean gets to be with lenny and karen and karen is still trying to hit on jenny who surely cannot be the only straight person to ever exist in the VDL gang why is life so cruel but everyone is happy and in love and well adjusted to modern era

karen absolutely did not know she was pregnant until she went into labor she didn't even know she could get pregnant between the lack of access to affordable birth control in the 19th century and getting diagnosed with pcos she just assumed she couldn't because she'd never gotten pregnant before??

every single person lost it. there was not a single brain cell to be found in the house just panicked screaming. grimshaw (who helped abigail give birth to jack) was their literal savior. it was too late for hospitals. the macguire genes are too strong this baby was already restless and impatient and coming now

sean malfunctioned so hard trying to process the fact he was a parent that lenny ended up being the first person to hold the baby and love at first sight is real. instantaneously they were All parents and she was going to be the first VDL to not grow up in a broken home. no name no crib but she had two moms and two dads and she was going to be the most spoilt little princess in the world

karen wanted to name her mary-beth because mary-beth stayed with her the longest in canon era and tried to help her even after the gang fell apart but they all agreed this shrieking siren born with orange curls like fire was not going to be a mary-beth so her initials are intentionally mb. they had to go with the most cliche irish girls name starting with m imaginable and then beatrice is actually bessie's full name c:

cannot overstate how strong the macguire genes are her first words might as well have been death to the english. in so many ways she is a copy paste of sean she is loud and the second she could walk she was getting herself into trouble. the whole gang is trying to help but no one knows what to do jack and isaac were both really easy kids who didn't climb on the counter and eat fistfuls of white sugar.

but maeve is so, so loved. she is exactly what their collective child was destined to be. she's energy she's lightning in a bottle she's smart and messy and overconfident and terrifying when she decides she needs to be and they would not change a single hair or freckle about her.

it deserves its own post but the macsummers crew would all have so many emotions being a parent after the childhoods they went through. sean wishing he could ask his da for advice how is it possible to feel so much love for something. karen just feeling lost because she already had so much self-doubt and a really frail sense of self the idea of being a mother would be so terrifying. lenny remembering his father's letter and even though he knows it word for word he wishes he had it with him and could feel the impressions of the pen on paper as if it would hold some answer to how the hell he's meant to be a parent. jenny who was literally found abandoned at the side of the road only now entering the second stage of grief because how dare the people who were meant to care for her abandon her when she would die a million times over to protect this little girl. they all would.

but even with their own shit they are such good parents they will not push their intergenerational trauma onto their baby girl and the lads are girldads to the max: lenny teaching her how to read and going to work in outfits his daughter picked out. sean holding her against his chest watching the secret of kells for the millionth time. karen playing with her baby girl constantly and using her acting skills to do all the voices. jenny braiding her hair and baking cookies with her which she will regret when the sugar demon takes over. whole family tea parties where they all have to play dress up. matching poorly done nail polish

getting her to sleep alone is hell because they all love her so much they want to take her to bed with them even when she's already feisty and independent and wants to sleep in her own room. everyone has a very important role in the nighttime routine and if anyone isn't home at bedtime maeve is not sleeping. jenny has to check for monsters. sean has to carry her to the bathroom and hold her against his hip while they both brush their teeth. karen has to be the one to tuck her in, and lenny has to turn on the nightlight.

she once looked sean dead in the eyes after he turned the nightlight on and turned it back off because lenny has to do it it's his job!!

they must all pay the kiss goodnight tax independently getting multiple kisses from one parent does not nullify the other parents obligation to the republic of maeve

wind down is either lenny reading to her (which has on multiple occasions also put sean to sleep), karen singing or sean telling (child-safe) stories about the VDLs or darragh macguire. sean's stories are maeve's favorite but she gets so excited it takes an extra 20 minutes for her to get to sleep.

her teachers hate her. they want this child medicated because she definitely has adhd. she will rock up and be telling other kids 'i never got to meet my grandpa because the british killed him' and is trying to radicalize her classmates 'they can't catch all of us if none of us go inside at the bell it'll be recess forever!!'

she is the queen of 'my dads can beat up your dad!! my moms can beat up your dad!! i could beat up your dad!!'

lenny and sean at a parent teacher meeting trying to pretend they know what a normal childhood is. 'your daughter has been playing cops and robbers' 'that is a normal thing children do we definitely did that at maeve's age' 'yes but she started throwing rocks from the top of the playground while screaming "macguires never surrender" and she used a jump rope to hogtie another child'

lenny shooting sean a look absolutely begging him not to laugh

no one taught her these things she just inherited the muscle memory of an outlaw and it's really hard not to be proud of her they were some pretty complex knots for a 5 year old!

[nerves-nebula]

I’ve seen some people say they think that strange world is heavy handed in its environmentalist metaphor. But I don’t think that’s true at all. maybe if it was aimed at adults then I would say yeah it’s a bit on the nose but as far as the kids movie goes, I think it’s hit the sweet spot pretty well. It doesn’t get annoying or preachy, but it makes the point very clear in a fun easy to understand way, with a not insignificant amount of nuance, in my opinion.

Another thing I really liked was how they touched on not only old stereotypical idea of “nature as something that needs to be conquered” being bad but also a newer less acknowledged idea that of "nature is something that needs to be beat back in order to protect our Precious Resources" being bad too.

Like yeah the old style idea you have to conquer all earth and all creatures you meet is bad. But also, fucking with an ecosystem you don’t fully understand for your Crops isn’t a better way either. And both are predicated on violence against anything deemed threatening, no matter if it’s important to the ecosystem or not (as shown by the board game scene)

And the way those two ideologies prove to be more similar in their brute force destructive ways than Jeager and Searcher originally thought is just SOOO delicious.

Intergenerational trauma and compounded daddy issues that are also relevant to the themes of environmentalism????? OUGHDH

[best-underrated-anime]

Best Underrated Anime Group A Round 4: Charlotte vs Servamp

#A1: Charlotte

Teens with special powers seek & protect other unique teens

#A4: Servamp

Immortal vampires with daddy issues and family drama

Details and poll under the cut!

#A1: Charlotte

Summary:

Yuu Otosaka has the ability take over a person’s mind and body for five seconds at a time, allowing him to cheat his way to the top of his class and enter a prestigious high school, where he continues his dishonest acts. His shenanigans are eventually stopped by Nao Tomori, the headstrong student council president from Hoshinoumi Academy, who sees through his deceit. Through coercion, Nao convinces Yuu to transfer to Hoshinoumi and join the student council.

With Yuu begrudgingly assisting in council affairs, the group sets out to find and protect new ability users from harm. However, as they further investigate the abilities, their findings entangle them in far more complicated matters than they could ever imagine.

Propaganda:

I would encourage anyone who enjoys shows that make you think to check this one out! Due to things revealed near the end of the series, a second watch-through is well worth it to see the clues towards the ending and foreshadowing along the way. Consequential drawbacks for these special powers are included throughout the series. Plot-twists keep the audience hooked through it all. There is character growth as the main character changes and as hard choices come up later. It does take you on an emotional roller coaster from light-hearted humor to hitting you right in the feels. (I totally did not watch this anime just because my favorite voice actor is in it lol)

Trigger Warnings: Child Abuse, Child Death, Emotional Abuse, Flashing Lights, Gender Identity/Sexuality Discrimination, Graphic Depictions of Cruelty/Violence/Gore, Rape/Non-Con, Torture, Mutilation.

The non-con warning is for female characters unwillingly having their underwear publicly exposed.

#A4: Servamp

Summary:

A normal 15-year-old boy named Mahiru Shirota, who likes to keep things ‘simple’ and uncomplicated, finds a black kitten in an alleyway and decides to take him home. He names the cat Kuro. Mahiru later discovers that Kuro is actually a Servamp (a servant vampire), and that by giving him a name he has formed a contract with him. This results in him getting dragged into a war between the other vampires and a vampire-hunting organization called C3.

Propaganda:

Servamp deals with intergenerational trauma and how wars don’t always have a clear-cut good/bad guy. The main antagonist Tsubaki, the Servamp of melancholy, and his subclasses (people he turned into vampires) seem reluctant at times to fight/hurt Mahiru unless they feel like it is necessary, and they all clearly care about each other (evil found family). Tsubaki even seems to have a bit of a bleeding heart considering how often he brings in new people even if they aren’t good at fighting. But that doesn’t change the fact that he is willing to let the world burn to achieve his goals as long as his people aren’t hurt in the process.

Then you have C3, the vampire-hunting organization. They view themselves as protectors of humanity and are willing to do anything to defeat Tsubaki, even kidnapping Mahiru to try and convince him to work with them under threat of death.

Then you have how the different Servamps deal with immortality. You have Lily, the Servamp of lust, who takes in and raises kids who are abandoned or abused. If any of the kids died before he could save them, he turns them into his subclasses instead. Then, there is Kuro, the Servamp of sloth. He doesn’t have any subclasses because you can’t know if someone want to be immortal, and it is cruel to force that upon someone. And finally, Lawless, who, for some reason, has started to kill his eves (the people he forms a contract with) once he gets bored with them.

The anime also has some absolutely beautiful animation and music. Plus, all the characters are well written and fun. (Fun fact: the person who sings the opening “Deal With” also voices Tsubaki.)

Trigger Warnings: Child Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Graphic Depictions of Cruelty/Violence/Gore, Suicide

When reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.

If you want to criticize one of the shows above to give the one you’re rooting for an advantage, then do so constructively. I do not tolerate groundless hate or slander on this blog. If I catch you doing such a thing in the notes, be it in the tags or reblogs, I will block you.

Know one of the shows above and not satisfied with how it’s presented in this tournament? Just fill up this form with your revisions, and I’ll consider adapting those changes.

New: Starting round 5, screenshots will be included in the poll post. You can submit screenshots through the form linked above, or through here, via ask or dm.

Guidelines in submitting screenshots:

No NSFW or spoilery images.

Pick some good images please. Don’t send any blurry or pixelated ones.

You may send up to 9 screenshots, but not all may be used.

[mrhaitch]

Hellooo Mr. Haitch!

Since you're a former literature prof., which is what I happen to be studying, I was wondering what books you like recommending to people? Genre doesn't matter, just interested in what your literary tastes are (^-^ )

What a dangerous question. I'll focus on the books that profoundly affected me and a few reasons why.

Red Shift/The Owl Service by Alan Garner

I lump these two together a lot, because they're thematically linked. The Owl Service is an easier read, being an early YA novel but there's a feeling to it that's profoundly disturbing - three young people in rural Wales forced to play out a love triangle from Welsh mythology that typically ends in betrayal and murder. Red Shift is also concerned with time but it yanks you back and forth through large stretches of history, and in each episode a young man tries desperately to be loved and understood. It's weird, sometimes challenging to follow, and overwhelmingly sad at times.

The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms by NK Jemisin

Jemisin's impact on fantasy cannot be overstated, and this book is where that impact was most keenly felt. She dumps out the inherited tropes of fantasy and inspects each in turn, destroying what is no longer helpful, and cherishing those of enduring value. An, ostensibly, white powerful monarchy has enslaved the gods - leaving the world paralysed beneath their heel. Love it

The Daevabad Trilogy by SA Chakraborty

Picking up where Jemisin left off, Chakraborty's trilogy about djinn and daeva locked in a (initially) cold civil war in a holy city is fundamentally about intergenerational trauma and our place within messy historical contexts. Complex, sometimes harrowing, but endlessly brilliant.

Finders Keepers by Stephen King

I didn't get along with the rest of the Mr Mercedes trilogy, and there are better King novels out there but none that I love as much as Finders Keepers. It's a love letter to literature about the transformativel power of stories, as well as the dangers of obsession.

Slaughterhouse 5/God Bless You Dr Kevorkian by Kurt Vonnegut

I love Vonnegut's work, his voice, his outlook, and I find it hard to choose between these two. Slaughterhouse 5 is, on the one hand, a novel about WWII, but it's also about time travel, death, and looking for meaning. God Bless You Dr Kevorkian is just lovely. No other word for it - it's lovely, a hug in a book where everyone is embraced with love and humour.

Ishmael by Daniel Quinn

A lot of people wrote this book off when Oprah and her ilk praised and elevated it, but I know they missed the point - because nothing changed. Put simply it's about a jaded environmentalist receiving history lessons from an intelligent and telepathic gorilla, who teaches him an alternate history to the world - history according to gorillas. There's a lot of ruminations about the nature of stories and culture here and it is WELL WORTH YOUR TIME, although you might not be the same person once you've finished reading it.

(Non fiction now)

Capitalist Realism by Mark Fisher

Mark Fisher was brilliant, in spite of the transphobic nonsense he embraced towards the end of his life. Capitalist Realism is often the book I suggest to people when they're overwhelmed by a fundamental feeling of wrongness, that there's just something bad in the world that they can't put their finger on. Fisher hits most, if not all of the key points you might need to understand why. His The Weird and the Eerie is also fantastic.

We Need New Stories by Nesrine Malik

A book about prevailing cultural and political narratives, with a good deal of depth without getting stuck in the weeds. This helped me unpack a lot of my own thinking when I was doing my own PHD and I'd strongly recommend it.

American Holocaust by David Stannard

MASSIVE CONTENT WARNING: I recommend this whole heartedly but it is a graphic detailing of the horrors of European colonialism in the Americas. It will challenge and uproot a great many beliefs or suppositions you might have about history, but it will leave its scars. Necessary but painful.

The Human Planet by Lewis and Maslin

The anthropocene is at the heart of my work, and this is probably the definitive book in my mind that's accessible to the general reader. Persuasive and detailed but also accessible.

Zen in the Art of Writing by Ray Bradbury

This book should be essential reading for every creative writing class. Read it and you'll see why.

[I'll stop there as I could go on endlessly]

[twig-tea]

Rules: List 10 of your comfort shows, then tag 10 people

I was tagged by @sorry-bonebag and @bengiyo (thank you both!). It's funny to see so many folks talk about not having 10, when I had trouble narrowing it down 🤣 So, here are shows I've reached for for comfort recently, in no particular order:

Until We Meet Again. Listen, I get that it's depressing, but it also ends and mends the intergenerational trauma set up in the first 15 minutes, and in the Dean/Pharm storyline the show queues up typical drama problems just for everything to be fine, it is SO comforting. And if I need to cry, ep1 part 1 will get me there, guaranteed.

Azumanga Daioh. This show...is so weird lol. It's a 20-year-old anime at an all-girls high school. There is a 10-year-old prodigy, a weirdo transfer student, a butch beauty, a simp, a loud class clown...it's not exactly GL because the girl who has a massive crush on her classmate never does anything about it and that's not really the plot. There is no actual plot, it's extremely slice-of-life except when it ventures into absurdity. It's extremely quiet and chill for this reason. The stakes are so low!

Star Trek: The Original Series. Like Ben, I am a Star Trek fan forever. TOS is my favourite and I've rewatched... a lot. Rather than the stakes being low, they're high but everyone is exceptionally competent and can solve impossible situations. And I really, deeply love the problem-of-the-week style storytelling and found family vibes.

What Did You Eat Yesterday? Everyone already knows this one, it's so good. Their relationship is so wonderful and the food is delicious and inspiring. In this show, things aren't perfect and that's ok, and I get deep comfort out of that.

HIStory 2: Crossing the Line. I love a sports anime, and this hits the key notes: you have to have love for the game and play with integrity and with your team in mind, and never give up on your dream. And this installation was pretty short, so easy to binge.

Our Dating Sim. This is recent but I've already decided to go back and rewatch this rather than start something new at least twice, so I'm counting it. Something about how these two settle into the friends to lovers dynamic is just delightful their familiarity and ease transfers to me through the screen.

Ingredients the series. Everyone calls this our pandemic comfort commercial for a reason. I have rewatched it a LOT. It is incredibly domestic and very chill, and once again full of good food. It helps that the episodes are so short so again, it's an easy binge.

Avatar: The Last Airbender (series). Another one that lands on multiple people's lists. This show is incredible and has such good character arcs. I will never get over how perfect the change in Zuko was handled. This one is partially comforting because of how long it's been in my life and how many times I've watched it, but also the found family vibes and the problem of the week format once again is very comforting to me.

Love Sick. I know. But it is the first BL I saw, and it stuck with me. I usually skip around the BL cut when I go back to this (which I still do). Pun and Noh spend a lot of time together in silence or with the OSTs playing, and do a lot of talking in body language and eye contact. Even though they're young and awkward and things are unresolved for so long, when they're together just the two of them this show (and their relationship) is easy and comforting.

60s Batman. There are several sitcoms that I would watch an episode or two if it's on (Frasier, the Nanny, Third Rock from the Sun, Golden Girls, Schitt's Creek), but the Adam West Batman is just... incredible. It is so silly. It is so earnest. It was ahead of its time. And once again, that problem of the week storytelling with incredibly competent characters is deeply comforting to me.

[Also shout-out to sorry-bonebag's Taskmaster mention because i have definitely rewatched it a bunch too!]

Tagging @italianpersonwithashippersheart @callipigio @my-rose-tinted-glasses @chickenstrangers @justafriend-ql @belladonna-and-the-sweetpeas @visualtaehyun @solitarywandering @thewayofsubtext @respectthepetty no pressure as always!

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Oooooh we entering another academic Avatar post era:

Let’s talk about generational trauma in Avatar, and why I think it’s portrayed so well. Shoutout to the kid who said this about Beloved in my class, but intergeneration trauma is about about how a traumatic event effects a family, but instead how a trauma affects person A, and changes person A. This then affects person B, and then person C. 

Neytiri’s trauma is central to her family, and to her children. The pain and memory of the past haunts the narrative from the get go. She tells us in the Songcord that Neteyam’s birth brought back her will to live; he was her hope, her future. That’s a lot of pressure for one kid haha. Although not directly affected by this trauma, he is by the changes in Neytiri. It is of course, not her fault, and I doubt she ever tells him these things, but he can feel it. It shapes how he acts, how he strives to be perfect. Neytiri also lost an older sibling, something Neteyam tries to be the best at. In contrast, Lo’ak struggles under this pressure, this drive to be perfect and to live up to Neteyam. As person C (in a way), he’s one more step removed, but still affected. 

I could do a whooole nother spiel on Jake’s trauma and how it affects the family. I could do one on Spider, and his relationship with the Sully’s but also Quaritch, and how that has haunted him in the secondary. Our post war babies Neteyam and Spider really got hit with that person B affect. It is not at all crazy to say that Neytiri’s reaction to Spider is all because of the changes to her character due trauma. Spider’s trauma all stems back to that first event; because Neytiri’s does. And that is generational trauma at work thank u.