#that it would be after the war right. bc it would be peaceful and wouldnt risk any attack or any sort of

[namorlei]

2024 republican platform

YES, THIS IS IN FACT THE OFFICIAL 2024 RNC GOP PLATFORM, LIKE WHAT THEY HAVE ON THEIR PDF...

look at this shit, an actual child wrote this what the fuck. lets go over this one after the other shall we

1: "SEAL THE BORDER, AND STOP THE MIGRANT INVASION"

they want to stop central and south american refugees and migrants from coming to america through mexico/ the carribean. who would have thought that the country which was founded on, and has only and will continue to only grow because of immigration would be so against people coming into the country. i wont go into too much detail but its just ridiculous

2: "CARRY OUT THE LARGEST DEPORTATION OPERATION IN AMERICAN HISTORY"

nazi shit, straight up nazi shit. what they mean by that is deporting anyone without citizenship. its just evil. thats tens of millions of people right there

3: "END INFLATION, AND MAKE AMERICA AFFORDABLE AGAIN"

inflation is already ended? its at 3% which is a normal amount for a country. and for that affordable part, raising wages is what will make america affordable. which republicans have shown time and time again they are against doing

4: "MAKE AMERICA THE DOMINANT ENERGY PRODUCER IN THE WORLD, BY FAR!"

odd punctuation aside, this one is like... okay? i mean that would require much investment into green energy and nuclear energy which the fossil fuel lobbying republicans dont want but theres nothing inherently wrong with that ig

5: "STOP OUTSOURCING, AND TURN THE UNITED STATES INTO A MANUFACTURING SUPERPOWER"

the trump campaign outsourced production of biker shirts to an offshore copany bc they knew that republicans would be unwilling to pay that much more for specialized trump clothing. but i mean yeah outsourcing is bad but also im not an isolationist so idk

6: "LARGE TAX CUTS FOR WORKERS, AND NO TAX ON TIPS!"

how do these people think the government gets funded... tariffs? this isnt 1790 anymore you need more than just that to run a government and bureaucracy as large as the united states. but yeah this one is whatever

7: "DEFEND OUR CONSTITUTION, OUR BILL OF RIGHTS, AND OUR FUNDAMENTAL FREEDOMS, INCLUDING FREEDOM OF SPEECH, FREEDOM OF RELIGION, AND THE RIGHT TO KEEP AND BEAR ARMS"

from who? the constitution is already there... all the amendments are already encoded into law...? but yeah the only threat to the constitution is the republicans. reminder, it is now legally mandated you have to put the 10 commandments up in school classrooms in louisiana. also project 2025 literally goes against the 10th amendment in every way but... whatever ig

8: "PREVENT WORLD WAR THREE, RESTORE PEACE IN EUROPE AND IN THE MIDDLE EAST, AND BUILD A GREAT IRON DOME MISSILE DEFENSE SHIELD OVER OUR ENTIRE COUNTRY -- ALL MADE IN AMERICA"

.... no words. this is such an arrogant mindset its insane from top to bottom. yeah lets just bring peace to the middle east bc that worked so well before hasnt it. also yes lets just bring peace to europe, im sure putin is deeply concerned what america has to say on this and yknow... less on the actual battlefield

the "great iron dome missile defense shield" is the icing on the cake. pure gold. sounds like some shit a child would say. we have THAAD, use real terminology ffs

also not to play devils advocate bc i like taiwan but, if you want to avoid ww3 wouldnt that mean not going to war over taiwan? like if thats what it takes to avoid ww3 than that would be what you would do... right? again i like taiwan but im just using their logic

9: "END THE WEAPONIZATION OF GOVERNMENT AGAINST THE AMERICAN PEOPLE"

saying this while also saying you want to deport tens of millions of people using the government as your method of doing so is deeply ironic, tho ig it makes sense considering the republicans dont see those being deported as human

also this means they're gonna defund the police... erm based department? not actually ofc just having a bit of fun.

10: "STOP THE MIGRANT CRIME EPIDEMIC, DEMOLISH THE FOREIGN DRUG CARTELS, CRUSH GANG VIOLENCE, AND LOCK UP VIOLENT OFFENDERS"

there is no migrant crime epidemic btw. migrants per capita commit less crimes than american citizens. also for the other stuff its just useless key jingling. it doesnt mean anything its just saying shit

11: "REBUILD OUR CITIES, INCLUDING WASHINGTON DC, MAKING THEM SAFE, CLEAN, AND BEAUTIFUL AGAIN."

when they say this they are speaking through the mouth of car and gas companies, more roads! more cars! also why dc specifically? dc is literally one of the nicest cities in the country why tf you signaling it out specifically? dont you think other cities could use it a bit more like detroit, chicago, san francisco, portland, new orleans, jacksonville, etc..?

12: "STRENGTHEN AND MODERNIZE OUR MILITARY, MAKING IT, WITHOUT QUESTION, THE STRONGEST AND MOST POWERFUL IN THE WORLD"

more key jingling, it already is the strongest. next question

13: "KEEP THE U.S. DOLLAR AS THE WORLD’S RESERVE CURRENCY"

no comment idk that much abt economics

14: "FIGHT FOR AND PROTECT SOCIAL SECURITY AND MEDICARE WITH NO CUTS, INCLUDING NO CHANGES TO THE RETIREMENT AGE"

tell your republican senators that before preaching to the choir. republicans constantly vote against these social spendings

15: "CANCEL THE ELECTRIC VEHICLE MANDATE AND CUT COSTLY AND BURDENSOME REGULATIONS"

like i said earlier, thats the car and oil companies speaking. cars cost us so much money every year that just banning them altogether would save us so much money in the long run. ofc i wouldnt ever advocate for a complete ban, america is too big for that, but even just more restrictions on cars in and around cities and the construction actual public transit would help so much

16: "CUT FEDERAL FUNDING FOR ANY SCHOOL PUSHING CRITICAL RACE THEORY, RADICAL GENDER IDEOLOGY, AND OTHER INAPPROPRIATE RACIAL, SEXUAL, OR POLITICAL CONTENT ON OUR CHILDREN"

yawn im getting tired of this. so much for muh freedom of speech right? why are you tryna stop kids from learning stuff? what are you some kind of authoritarian (yes)

i dont have to explain why this is bad, this is fucking tumblr we all know why its bad

17: "KEEP MEN OUT OF WOMEN’S SPORTS"

my favorite i love being singled out as a target of discrimination. joyous. not that i am big into sports anyway but still. its incredible how much they're leaning into the transphobia angle when its been proven before this isnt a winning electoral position? like 70% of americans just do not care... why tf they making such a big deal about it. oh wait! culture war bullshit why of course

i shouldnt have to say what they mean by 'men' here but i will anyway, they're referring to trans women obviously

18: "DEPORT PRO-HAMAS RADICALS AND MAKE OUR COLLEGE CAMPUSES SAFE AND PATRIOTIC AGAIN"

so much for freedom of speech huh... i could have sworn they were just yelling about that a few bullet points ago. im not pro hamas in any sense from an ideological standpoint however i would be considered a hamas supporter because that just means in opposition to israel committing genocide.

19: "SECURE OUR ELECTIONS, INCLUDING SAME DAY VOTING, VOTER IDENTIFICATION, PAPER BALLOTS, AND PROOF OF CITIZENSHIP"

this topic is long and very complicated, far too much to condense into a few sentences but know this, they are saying this so that poor and older people as well as immigrants cant vote. thats all its about

20: "UNITE OUR COUNTRY BY BRINGING IT TO NEW AND RECORD LEVELS OF SUCCESS"

more key jingling, its meaningless.

this whole republican platform document reads like a twitter user wrote it its embarrassing that these are the people most likely to win the election. again i cant get into too much here because this is already way too long but the fact that we're even at this point is just insane to me

[blooming-cecilia]

many thoughts on venti and the archon war

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Seijoh Part 4

a/n: I LIVE FOR THESE MANAGER SEIJOH ASKS LIKE BLS TAKE OVER MY LIFE

(i originally planned to write the other schools for the manager scenario like theyre already in my drafts with plans and partly written out but like seijoh is my TOP PRIORITY (sorry pls dont hate me) BC THEY ARE MY BOIS)

also, most of my ask box is all for a kyoken ending and kyoken fluff and aoba johsai fluff and im quaking bc this is spurring me to create more aoba johsai imagines and my love for the other schools is just like being overshadowed by our little plant babies :’)

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon request: Im the anon who mentioned the chaos about the dating and can I say I love it!!! 🙏🙏 i kinda have this hc for the boys that they fight whenever they go on bus rides, just because they want yn to sit next to them. But she usually sits next to the calmer members?? The reason the boys fight?? She may or may not have fallen asleep a few times, her head on kyo/iwa shoulder. 🥺🥺

LMAO THAT PART JUST REEKED CHAOTIC ENERGY AND SHE WOULD TOTALLY SIT NEXT TO THEM JUST TO SPITE THE OTHERS AND I LOVE THE IRONY LIKE THE MOST AGGRESSIVE LOOKING ARE THE SOFTEST AND CALMEST TOWARDS HER LIKE PLEASE KYOKEN AND IWA ARE JUST LITTLE SOFT BEANS AND DESERVE THE WORLD

(bruh im so soft for iwa and kyo like my best bois and i must write them out IMMEDIATELY bc theyre so uggghhhhhh!!!!!!!)

MY TWO MEN IN ONE GIF GOD HAS BLESSED ME-

oh dear

bus rides,,,,, yep here we go

the team is usually peaceful and civil w each other (minus iwa literally beating oiks up but thats irrelevant information)

like they dont really have fights or have any arguments bc they meet up every saturday to talk about the week and if anybody had any concerns or anything they were mad about since it was like a family meeting

but boy oh boy

when you entered this family,,, arguments and misunderstandings happened once a week

‘no! y/n-chan said she was going to go shopping with me!’

‘um, she already agreed to go to to the arcade w me’

‘wait, she told me we were going to go visit that cafe!’

yes you agreed to do those things w them but you never assigned a date

your attention was something that these boys were always wanting since they only see you during club hours and practices

their jealousy gets really ugly sometimes and the two first years actually get all smug about it 

‘hm, y/n, we still up for studying later?’

you ruffled his hair and smiled up at him

‘yep! we need to set an alarm though or else i’d end up staying after 1 in the morning again’

‘great. cant wait’

kunimi rarely shows any emotion towards his senpais but they couldnt miss the smug smirk that made oikawa grip the volleyball and mattsun holding him back

god hes such a little shite

everyone knows that the first years have a upperhand than them bc of your same grade so the upperclassmen were much more sensitive to spending time with you outside of practice

and they liked to spend that time wisely

when the time for away games come, you weren’t that worried about it

i mean,, why would you when boarding the bus is going to be so early in the morning at like 4 in the morning and theyd be sleeping the whole time so you get peace and quiet

in fact, you were looking forward!

but nope!

jesus took the wheel and said no

instead, you were watching the team members shouting and yelling at each other at the asscrack of dawn

say sike rn

the 2 coaches were actually not there yet so they werent able to help you and whip the boys to order so here you were, bleary eyed and clearly still tired, sighing and rolling your eyes at the fight

‘SHE SITS WITH ME! IM TEAM CAPTAIN! I GET DIBS!’

‘NO! YOU DROOL ON HER AND MESS UP HER CLOTHES! YOU LIKE MAKKI-SENPAI MORE, RIGHT, Y/N-CHAN?!’

now you might be asking me, ‘author-chan, why are they fighting so hard for something as simple as a bus ride?’

well, my young grasshoppers, this is not just a simple bus ride

you are infamous in the team to be a sleeper

no matter what form of transportation, bus, car, any surface, you found yourself in dream land

yall i wish i was like that

the sleep paralysis demon beside my bed says otherwise

they freak out and fight over even a simple touch of affection from you, do you really think they wouldnt fight tooth and nail to being your pillow and freely watching your adorable sleeping face?

these men are fighting as if they were fighting something serious like a world war

lmao with how intensely theyre fighting, it practically is

but there were two players who actually didnt care either way since they only wanted you to be the most comfortable and they werent exactly the most squishiest members

in fact, they were basically all muscle and probably not the most comfortable

NOPE I BELIEVE THAT IWA IS IN FACT ONE OF THE MOST COMFIEST AND BEST PILLOWS IN THE ENTIRE HAIKYUU UNIVERSE

totally not my bias talking or anything

so it was no surprise when they didnt get themselves involved

iwa was already done w them and goes in the bus because mom deserves a nap

naturally, kyo follows the leader and boards the bus after him, leaving the others to fight it out in the school parking lot

you were happy that they were too distracted that they wouldnt notice you sneaking away into the bus and you were slightly disappointed that out of all the seats, kyo had to sit in the one-seater by the front

so you immediately went over to the other person, who was iwa-san, and he was just settling in, pulling out his teal blanket

you blinked at him when he caught you stare but he gently smiled before opening the blanket

‘i was never a fan of window seats anyways’

you happily bounced over to him and you placed your bag at the overhead compartment bc seijoh is bougee and can afford everything before you climbed over him to the seat next to the window

iwaizumi tried to make you as comfortable as he can so he kept the seat divider thing yanno what im talking about? between you

but his eyes widened when you casually pulled it up and snuggled closer to him

youve done this before so he opened his right arm for you to cuddle closer but he was still surprised 

meanwhile,,,

you just closed your eyes with a smile as you pulled the blanket to your chin and practically glomped yourself to iwa

ugh im so jealous of you!!!!!!!!!!

‘hmmmm, youre so warm iwa-san. youre like,,,,, jacob from twilight’

his eyebrow quirked and he smiled, wrapping his arm around you and tightly holding you close

‘oh? the werewolf?’

he felt your head nod

‘mhm. so warm, and strong, yet so gentle and soft’

by now, both your legs were already swung over his lap and head on his chest as you sat sideways

his fingers traced circles around your middle as his other hand was fiddling with your fingers

‘didnt he like mark a little girl?’

‘iwa-san dont talk about that!’

his laugh grumbled his chest and you giggled, trying to become even closer towards his naturally warm chest and inhale his scent

lavender mixed with peppermint

it was such an odd combination from the people you knew and you were immediately drawn to it

thats why you usually wore his jacket rather than your own

he always gets confused as to where it is but you steal it and watch him look for it

you didnt hear that from me though

it didnt take a long time for you to fall asleep and by the time the 2 coaches finally arrived and yelled at the players, they were already late

‘oikawa, i thought youd handle this properly!’

oiks whimpered from the coach’s scolding but apologized then pushed everyone in

the sight in front of them made them both boil in jealousy and squeal in uwus

you, the softest and sweetest and kindest little flower human being, being cuddled up to iwaizumi, the brute and bara arms and the ultra macho strong man, who had his head on top of you

KYAAAAAAAA

even though they knew you were a heavy sleeper and iwa slept like a rock, they still quieted down and silently walked over to their seats, hissing and shushing at anyone who even made the slightest bit of noise

rustle of the bags?

SSSSHHHHHH

seat creaking as they sit down?

SSSHHHHHHHH

they only let this slide bc your sleeping face was just so cute and they didnt have the heart to wake you up

and also face the wrath of titan iwa and be thrown into the atlantic ocean like oikawa did one time

when you finally arrived at the stadium, they waited for a rough 10 minutes just to figure out how to wake you up

they didnt want to wake up iwa first and have him yell at them but they didnt want to wake you up first either

but kyo didnt understand the dilemma and instead just goes to the back where yall were at and he goes to the seat behind you so he could reach you easily and tickles your cheek

the team is just like 👁️👄👁️

your nose scrunches at this tingling sensation until it continues so you open your eyes and finds kyo just smiling down at you

oiks is literally shaking bc he could see the smallest smile on kyo’s face

‘wake up’

with his gruff voice, it sounded like he was ordering you around but you knew he couldnt help it and blinked tiredly at him, giving him a smile of your own

‘hm, hi kyo-san’

you winced at the sudden appearance of the sunlight and that made you fully wake up before flinched at the eyes of the other players

‘hello, everyone’

you said slowly and you sat up, noticing iwa still sleeping

oiks held his breath bc hes been friends w iwa since he was still a baby and he knows that its like waking up a sleeping dragon

‘wait y/n-chan-’

but you didnt listen and poked his nose

‘iwa-san? iwa-san, we’re here’

you cooed and the poking made his eyes flutter open and with his head still tilted to the side, he swore he saw an angel by the way the sunlight hit the back of your head giving you a smiling angel effect

hm, i could get used to seeing this when i wake up

you grinned and when he finally stretched, you sat up stright, waiting for iwa to get up so you could slide out

but kyo was an impatient little bean and just hoisted you out of there and towards him behind the seat

‘come on. i got your bag’

he mumbled and you nodded, letting him hold your hand

lmao wait i forgot the time this is set

this is set during the 2nd inter-high okay? okay

oiks was still complaining at kyo and iwa hogging you but you didnt listen and continued walking towards the entrance, glancing around at the other teams

as usual, oiks and iwa were walking to the front bc yanno, captain and vice-captain, while you and kyo walked at the back, mainly bc you didnt want any player to stray off like kindaichi did last time and look for him for hours

kyo gripped your hand and you turned your head to look at him to see his eyes glaring at anything

you chuckled which made him look down at you, the glare slowly disappearing

‘hm, kyo-san, you should really invest in contacts. it doesnt matter if wearing glasses makes you feel like a nerd bc you still need it to see’

he scrunched his nose when you scolded him and he was about to retort when him and the team caught the whisperings of the nearby teams

‘oh my god, seijoh and the beautiful manager’

‘how old is she? i hope shes at least a second year’

‘ngh id tap that’

IM BLEEHHHHH

‘is he her boyfriend? if so, the competition isnt that hard then’

kyo growled and was about to lunge at the yellow jacketed boy but you held him back, also worriedly looking at your boys

‘seijoh, down’

you ordered and they shrunk back, opting to just glaring heatedly at the other teams

you could still feel kyo shaking at rage to them sexualizing you but your hands squeezing him and the other hand rubbing his arm helped him control it

‘dont make a scene, kyo-san. its your first competition since your suspension, right? and you love volleyball so please keep it in. i can protect myself’

you whispered but he let go of your hand and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you close and continuing to glare at everyone as if he was asserting dominance

‘if they touch you-’

‘ill kick them between the legs, i know. you told me already’

you teased and he hummed in agreement

when they played, they were at ease bc the two coaches were there and they were also protective of you like their own so they wouldnt have to worry about someone to go after you

however,,

as they were warming up for the second game, you had to quickly fill up their water bottles bc they were already tired and dehydrated so you needed to fill them up

and they were all busy and you didnt want to bother them and you were going to be quick anyways so you just took the case of bottles and ran to the nearby water fountain

you were hurriedly filling them up and at your last bottle, you were about to cap it when you felt a presence behind you

he stood close and his arms snaked around your waist but you hurriedly tightened the lid and whacked him at the head with the heavy bottle

you continuously hit him and kicked him between the legs before hitting him again

‘DONT TOUCH ME AGAIN!’

you shouted and iwa and kyo were watching from the end of the hallway, panting from running so fast since they heard your shouts

okay a little flashback,

kyo was watching you from his perepharal vision and when he went up to spike, he took his eyes off of you for ONE DAMN SECOND and you nyoomed out of there

when he didnt see you anywhere, he wildly looked around and this caught the attention of the vice-captain

‘oi! kyotani! whats wrong?’

‘y/n. where is she?’

they took off running and the team was just like what

then they heard shouts and kyo knew it was you

his mad dog senses

hehe get it

he as about to tackle the guy but he saw you beat him with a water bottle and eventually taking another bottle and kicking him and hitting him with the two waters

the player cowered and scrambled to get away bc wow this girl was psycho

um no sir, she was protecting herself from hormonal testosterone filled children like you

‘YEA GO RUNNING! COME TO ME AGAIN AND ILL BEAT YOU UP HARDER! DISGUSTING! TRASH! GROSS! SCUM!’

maybe it was because the last time you were touched without consent was when you got bullied but you were definitely fighting harder and more aggressive at protecting yourself

you turned around and the rage from your eyes disappeared when you saw the two boys there

‘hey iwa-san! kyo-san! sorry, i needed to fill the water bottles!’

you grinned and placed the bottles back to the case before lugging it up

my god their eyes were shining

yep, thats my girl

when their games were over for the day, they made their way to the exit where the bus was at and you and kyo stayed behind again

you caught the eye of the guy and his team and you and kyo glared at him, both wearing a sadistic smile

UGH YALL ARE COUPLE GOALS I SWEAR

kyo even went up to him and the team shrunk leaving the guy standing there in fear at the look on his face

‘listen, i dont like it when my baby girl gets touched by filthy shite like you. so do it again, and ill chop those damn fingers of yours, got it?’

lmao he’ll come for your ankles

the guy just nodded in fear while his team were cowering at the back

you chuckled and pulled kyo to go bc as much as you liked watching this, you needed to go to the bus to go home

‘cmon, kyo, i want to go. im getting a headache from the smell of garbage’

he shifted his gaze to you and sent you a soft smile

‘okay. lets go’

hah you thought it ends there?

kyo is a dramatic little shite so he made a show of grabbing your waist and kissing your temple before flashing them a finger

oiks was tapping his foot impatiently at the bus and when you and kyo emerged from the entrace, he was about to snatch you up but kyo stood in front of you

‘EH?! KYOKEN-CHAN, I WANT TO SIT WITH Y/N-CHAN!’

‘no’

he said and didnt say anything else as he pulled you to the bus and into a two seater where you sat at the window again and he sat on the outside

‘hah? you want to sit next to me, kyo-san?’

you teased but he flushed red, hurriedly hiding in your neck

you laughed and brought a hand up to caress his nape

‘mhm’

he mumbled and you pursed your lips to hide the squeal

‘youre so cute, kyo-san’

‘not cute’

‘very cute’

‘no’

‘AM I CUTE Y/N-CHAN?’

‘SHUT UP SHITTYKAWA’

kyoken got away from your neck and went to hit the captain 

oikawa screamed

a/n: my first week of school was so weird bc we only have like 2 days and the other days are just free days bc we havent really done anything except talk about our classes but im just hating this system like ugh i actually want to go to school bc ya girl is going to a tech school and this 2-day a week is not the vibe

[crowsent]

tales from the smp: the village that went mad ft. salt losing his goddamn mind

“im jack. and. im a farm person, and i like p o t a t o e s”

starting the stream well i see. ponk coming in with generic potato boy and i love him for it

=

QUACKITY

QUACKITY

“my name is helga, wife of badboyhalo” QUACKITY

=

karl: “bad, explain your character other than person that beats up their wife”

bad, immediately: “well, i do declare that my name is jimmy and im the mayor of this town”

and then bbh just fucking starts spinning around when hes asked what the name of this town is, theres a pause, and then he fucking hits us with “not a very good town, town” like BAD

this is why i love this man

this is why i fux with this man

he is unparalleled

=

but as much as i love bbh and would literally murder god for him, he still canNOT match the quiet theatricality of mr corpsehusband saying “im gonna turn around and itll all make sense” and then he has a fucking CAT TAIL

corpse “choke me like you hate me” husband is a fucking CATBOY ladies and gentlemen

hes a fucking catboy which further proves something which we already knew was true all along: furries exist in minecraft and are, in fact, accepted in society and treated no less differently than humans

this is why fundy and antfrost can just walk around without anyone telling them shit

this is why wilbur can fuck a salmon

corpse “catboi” husband paved the fucking road and drove down in a custom vintage jaguar so every other furry on the smp could fucking drive behind him in a second hand porsche

i salute you mr corpsehusband

truly amazing

=

miles memeington, connoisseur of steak and bob, “bob the builder” need no explanation

=

CORNELIUS COMING IN WITH THE BRIGHTASS NEON GREEN BODYSUIT EVERYBODY

GIVE IT UP FOR CORNELIUS

BEST RPER ON THE ENTIRE SMP

CORNELIUS GREENBODYSUIT EVERYONE

=

tubbo with the very cute ‘i am robin, i am an orphan child” being IMMEDIATELY ruined by karl sayin

“dont let technoblade hear about that”

i love this already

i love this already

feed me technoblade lore. the man never fucking uploads so i have to get content adjacent to him

i wanna hear about technoblade the orphan killer. i want that backstory lore

and also i wanna protect robin the orphan boy because hello???????????

that skin???????

let me adopt you mr orphan boy

=

i love quackity just very casually going “my husband and i had intercourse” at the fucking TOWN MEETING BY THE WELL

truly

quackity’s comedy is unmatched

“hes into lots of weird stuff. he taught me this one thing called dunderhead”

and IMMEDIATELY someone (cant tell who, i have auditory processin issues) fucking goes “i DO NOT know this woman” and tbh if i were in that fucking town hall listening to my fucking weirdass neighbour casually lay out all her family secrets, id fucking say that shit too. id fucking disown this bitch as my neighbour. id fucking pretend she doesnt exist

like

imagine your fucking next door neighbour siddling up to you in the fucking w*lmart while youre just minding your own goddamn business trying to buy a fucking banana and your next door neighbour helga is dressed in a fucking bikini going “my husband fucked me so hard i couldnt walk” and even though you are clearly not interested and trying desperately to get away from her and her wackass gossip, helga goes ahead and fucking LISTS OUT HER HUSBANDS KINKS IN THE FUCKING FRUIT AISLE AT FULL VOLUME

id die

id just fucking die

id uninstall life right then and there

id pack my fucking bags and take a fucking extended vacation to guatemala and never return. id fucking change my goddamn name just to ensure that people never associate me with this woman.

thats what quackity is doing and i am very thankful this man exists and has given us the treasure that is helga

=

cOuLd iT Be iN ThE nAMe oF SaTaN???????? 🤔

karl

bruh

bustin out the fucking OLD conspiracies huh

“or could it be in the name of content on karls stream”

and hes just casually breaking the 4th wall too huh

kinda stealing techno “ill read donations in the middle of rp bc i need a distraction” blade’s go-to method there huh

its fucking funny tho. hes narrating this all serious-like but then he just goes “content on my stream uwu” and unrepentantly shatters that suspension of disbelief (in a good way)

but it wouldnt even matter bc apparently, satan and karls content have no difference

=

does protection exist in the smp? im worried for helgas health

the woman visited 3 different fucking houses in one night

=

i love how the rp just stops dead in its tracks around the campfire

no one was using any of the names

corpse was out here calling everyone by their actual names and not the names of their characters

=

this might just be bc im a pathological liar whos seen and heard shit but

i love him but

i mean

bbh cant lie

the man cannot lie

his voice is off, pitch wrong, tone sus

he is deffo a murderer

being accused of something hes not would make a person defensive/angry and bbh is not either

the man is LYING

and his argument/defense was LITERALLY tubbos

man cant lie

send this murderer to hell

=

tubbo can lie, but imo hes not. his voice is the voice of a person whos telling the truth

man is legit the doctor

a doctor who chose to fucking lay on the LORE

father killed in the red-eyed village wars????? mother taken from a young age?

motherfucker brought the LORE

motherfucker brought the SOB STORY

motherfucker legit said “here is my canonical in-character reason for being a doctor fuck you”

and honestly

what is bads defense?

karl asked if the town should kill an orphan over a mayor and there is legit no right answer to that

there is no good rebuttal

so bad straight went “you make a great point. just execute me”

amazing

10/10

=

idk who said it but “orphans just suck up resources” whoever you are i love you

i was eating my chips in peace but then i almost choked

thank

=

I FUCKING KNEW TUBBO WASNT THE MURDERER

his voice did not match

=

my bets on fucking ponk

=

its fucking DREAM

DREAM MURDERER

my respect for this man

motherfucker

shouldve known

he was kinda quiet at first but then he suddenly started talking a lot

son of a BITCH

gg dream

=

round 1 wasnt very rp heavy but

i can excuse that

=

who in the FUCK is making choking donald duck noises

who

bbh got a new skin cool

WHO IS MAKING THE CHOKING DONALD DUCK NOISES

=

corpse, about dreams death: “they killed him in front of me”

the town: “who was it corpse?”

ladies and gentlemen corpse, without a moments hesitation: “im also blind”

=

so the murderer is deffo not corpse. deffo not tubbo. probably not lazarbeam probably not bbh

that leaves quackity, george, and ponk

=

MY PARTNER WAS KILLED

MY PARTNER WAS KILLED

i knew corpse was a catboi but i didnt know that mr dream “i went on a date and almost married a fox” wastaken partnered with a fucking catboy

what is this

dnf is out, dream corpse is in /j

bruh

MY PARTNER WAS KILLED

bro

the tragedy

=

CALM DOWN WENCH THE BOY DID NOTHIGN

CORPSE

CORPSE

STOP

CORPSE

standing up for tubbo like that

corpse

please

my heart cannot handle this

=

okay so its deffo not corpse and tubbo. most likely not quackity after that fucking disaster at the campfire. probably not lazarbeam or bbh. still think its george and ponk

=

CORPSE

he got executed trying to console tubbo who legit WENT IN THE PRISON TRYING TO LOOK FOR HIM

BRUH

WHAT THE FUCK

=

TUBBO

no

TUBBO

technically its robin but

TUBBO

he lost his father so quick what the FUCK

i will murder god for robin

the little shaking head he does after corpse got killed. going completely silent as he lost the one family he had left.

bruh

robin bby no

=

I KNEW HE WASNT THE MURDERER

tubbo

im sorry

=

I KNEW IT WAS PONK

was wrong about lazarbeam/george tho

=

bruh

what the fuck

tubbo/robin honey i am so so sorry

catboi corpse i am so so sorry

[kuroimarzipan]

sorry for the long post im on mobile at work and have no idea how to put a readmore but. rambling musings on my characters re endwalker because im doing traffic control at work which mostly means standing around on my phone waiting for a car to leave this carpark so i can go hold up a stop sigh. for a minute to let it leave. its boring as hellll

but anyway im like. so off the shits from endwalker rn for multiple reasons. ive been developing niuwyb more and more as a proper wol... i made her partially as a joke bc i played thru msq as roeh (who id already written as a non-wol oc and was really happy with her story) and was having trouble envisioning any wol id create as terribly different lmao. the wol was a sea wolf roegadyn warrior to me... so i made niuwyb as a clone/twin au thing and ended up liking my self indulgent idea so much i kept her. and now im super invested in her as her own character... endwalker has me like. constantly thinking about her life with the other scions like. its so nice for her to have the scions as almost her own little family... roeh brought niuwyb into her family when they met for the first time and found out what was going on and the two are sisters that have a close relationship but i think that the scions are always going to be really close to her heart no matter what.... i just really enjoy thinking about those moments between all the big events that they have to deal with in msq. just sharing a meal together. or hanging out. after everything that happened i want them all to be happy... i almost think its a shame that they all left the rising stones but i want everyone to meet up again regularly u know. not as coworkers or people with similar goals but as friends and family...

and!! i wanna include some of my non-wol ocs in that too... sandrine and sonje were in this really weird place during shb (partially bc i was still developing their story) but i think endwalker is a really good point to cement the trio of sandrine sonje and ysayle as scions... one cause i always thought ysayle shoulda become a scion this whole time fr so im gonna imagine it. i would design her a scion outfit but my design principles are so not final fantasy it would be out of place lol. but theres no way niuwyb and the other scions wouldnt offer her a place with them as soon as they found out she survived lol

two i think sonje is in this sort of similar place as estinien kind of?? certainly not exactly of course but theres some parallels and i think that if they werent both socially inept they could probably talk about it. like sonje helped to liberate ala mhigo from the garleans and worked on rebuilding and returning peace to the place she grew up. but she had been gone for so long and lived so much more life and formed so many other attachments that staying there just... wasnt where she wanted to be anymore?? her place was with sandrine and ysayle now. and i think her joining the scions with both of them is like. they are her home now...

sandrine is actually the most fun to think about in regards to endwalker because shes so spiteful to sharlayan for both the new sharlayan exodus as well as them not doing anything to help when she was pursued by the temple knights on charges of heresy because of her studies in sharlayan... her mother died for that and its a wound that runs deep... she magically hid her archon tattoos for so long out of spite. i think that coming to old sharlayan would be very difficult for her, but with hydaelyn's power waning and sandrine's visions with it, she doesnt have a charted path and decides to rely on the scions for a way forward... shes still like fuck them sharlayans and fuck the forum tho. person that would get along splendidly with matoya. but i do want her to be able to form some semblance of peace with sharlayan as she did with ishgard after the dragonsong war. not forgiveness but a nod of acknowledgement that things are being set right finally. also thatd make 2/3 countries she has beef with. which means next expac its time for gridania to pay reparations to the duskwight lmaoooo

oh man this post is so long now help im just gonna stop it here before i go even deeper into rambling

[uwumessenger]

i love love LOVE ur page pls do rfa and maybe v, saeran, and rika if they were exchange students at rad? 😏

ilysm THANK U :( <3 i love making mmxom! stuff ngl. also, love ur avi :')

for the sake of this let's throw the idea of religion out the window KCJSKDJSKSK bc most of the mm characters are canonically religious and that would make this post a tad more boring...or chaotic. idk

btw i dont usually write for rika but this is an exception ! ;)

zen

when zen wakes up and sees the demon brothers plus diavolo and barbatos, it takes him a minute to process what's in front of him

he would try to go back to the human world so many times...poor bb

since zen is going to be there over the course of a year he would eventually begin to butt heads with asmo. they would not get along...

he'd hate lucifer from the start bc lucifer reminds him of jumin. got along with satan until cats were brought up

irritated by mammon and levi, though he is secretly fond of levi bc levi reminds him of yoosung in a way

is fine with beel, doesnt have many issues with him but is constantly concerned for his skin. totally jealous of beel's body.

diavolo also reminds zen of jumin in a way, but like, if jumin was more likeable.

likes luke and simeon a lot! thinks solomon was brought to freak him out because solomon lowkey resembles zen. like...super lowkey...

hates that it's night all the time

if any of the brothers flirt with him, he'll immediately shoot them down. he's not interested. would never date someone who could outlive and overpower him

visits belphie in the attic once then never returns. he knows a thing or two because he's seen a thing or two

yoosung

yoosung is screaming and crying so much diavolo actually considers sending him back to the human world.

literally, the entire first day is yoosung BAWLING and swatting the brothers away like flies

eventually he warms up to levi, and levi only. he befriends luke and simeon too, but is suspicious of solomon. doesnt like barbatos bc he thinks he's like jihyun...

doesnt visit belphie in the attic, period. he shits bricks when he sees lucifer so if lucifer says not to go up to the attic, yoosung obeys

even if the brothers start flirting, yoosung would never notice. he's way too oblivious! he becomes more like family, because he kinda resonates with them and the whole lilith thing.

but he actually has a fairly good time. may or may not turn into a cult leader like his dear cousin afterward, though...

jaehee

simply accepts her fate and agrees to spend the year in devildom

tells lucifer all about jumin...then comes to learn that lucifer is actually more like her and v?

she and satan get along well, but she befriends barbatos and spends most of her time with him and luke instead. baking and bonding over being pushed around by their bosses :')

helps diavolo with some of his work and gives him a lot of pointers for organization!

she would not like mammon. he reminds her of elizabeth the third.

one of the few who actually helps belphie out of the attic ! except when belphie tries to kill her, she'd fight him. and win. ur not allowed to disagree teehee

she most likely wouldnt pursue any romantic relationships with anyone bc she simply isnt interested in any of them HAHAHA

after the program ends she'd be one of the few who actually keep in touch with everyone, and would follow the canon storyline (minus all romantic interactions).

jumin

caught off guard bc wtf? is that....his twin?

the whole room is distracted bc of how much jumin and lucifer resemble one another, at least physically

hates every second of it and makes it very clear

although he likes talking with satan, and diavolo and barbatos

gives belphie some kind of inspirational asshole speech...doesnt help him out of the attic at all

jumin would actually come up with an escape plan and it'd be flawless. he would actually successfully escape back to the human world at least once

but the others have like, powers and shit so they can easily bring him back

would ghost everyone after the end, especially solomon

saeyoung

he thinks hes in a coma. doesnt believe it's real at all

when he does realize it's real, it's too late, he's being killed by belphie JCJZMXJSM

after hes brought back he warms up to everyone a bit more and is much more respectful of the environment.

he likes levi the most because when hes with him it's like hes with yoosung again! introduces levi to LOLOL, and they actually get to play with yoosung online every now and then

unfortunately for the obey me men, none of them are saeyoung's type. he does like that everyone is swooning over him tho

he warns all of them to keep things lowkey because of his hacker job, and says that it's too dangerous for them to visit him in the human world

before he leaves he gifts everyone some kind of gadget as a way to remember him. gives the whole im-dangerous-man speech, then disappears, never to be seen by them again.

saeran

so we're talking saeran as in good ending saeran, right? because this mf is getting sent straight back to the human world if it was suit saeran 💀✋🏻

and if it was only ray, he'd be crying the whole time. poor kid.

anyway he totally lets belphie out of the attic. naturally, belphie reminds him of himself, so he tries to help.

i think after everything settles down saeran would warm up to beel and belphie the most because their dynamic reminds him of his and saeyoung's. he easily relates to belphie and all of belphie's issues, and wants to help him through it!

like his brother, saeran is uninterested in everyone romantically because none of them are his type. he may or may not have had a fling with satan, but satan was giving off too much rika vibes /:

keeps in touch with them and will help them when they visit the human world

v

v is similar to jaehee where he simply accepts the situation at hand

v and solomon would be really good friends omg CAN YOU IMAGINE????

two old men just cracking jokes and cooking poisonous food!

he is the only person who is immune to solomon's cooking.

helps belphie out of the attic. somehow doesnt allow himself to nearly get killed tho

mammon accidentally becomes his therapist...! and everybody except for belphie thinks he should break up w rika

v might have a fat crush on asmo...or maybe even diavolo. but wont touch asmo bc his bff is solomon. pursues diavolo on the down low

rika

oh gosh...she'd get sent straight back to the human world.

if you want someone who will help create peace among the three realms, you are not going to achieve anything with rika.

if she did manage to stay back, though, she'd probably be able to weave her way into levi's heart

she gets along well with satan

when it comes to the whole belphie thing? oh no. OH. NO.

this mf would probably help belphie kill off the entire human population 😭 the whole obey me storyline would flip upside down and they'd start another war

interesting concept ngl

[percyjacksonfan3]

The Last Olympian Thoughts

So because I have absolutely 0 self-control or restraint when it comes to this series and its characters, and for The Last Olympian in particular, I could not put TLO down. Because of this I figured I couldn’t do the usual photo reaction posts I have been so far, because the spam would just be ridiculous, so I am stealing the idea from @yourstrulytaaay​ to do a masterpost instead. (Adding a Read More cause this got ridiculously long)

Fun fact, TLO came out right after i finished reading the series for the first time so it's the first PJO book i bought  and my only hard cover one for the og series. I checked the year and turns out it was published 2009, which means i was actually 9 when i read the series for the first time. I realize this is not really a fun fact but i thought i was older when I first read the series so it's blowing my mind a little ‘cause now I’m 21 and everything hits different and i still have so much love for this series and the characters Okay onto book thoughts: - i was right that this book is gonna destroy me, the first line alone made me so excited and nostalgic it's ridiculous - I love Rachel and Percy sm tbh. Her being a bit of peace and normalcy in his life without always reminding Percy of who and what he is is so good for him. Just a little escape

- of course by the end of the book that's not the case any more but by the end he's lived his prophecy so he doesn't need it as badly, plus he and Annabeth are solid again - Percy saying Annabeth has been hard to be around lately... Ouch my heart. Luke really is the last thing that keeps them from being together and Percy is so jealous and Annabeth so torn and in pain, i feel so bad for them both

- Beckendorf 🥺🥺 - the telkhine with the Lil Demon lunchbox!! I forgot about him. Percy: 'i left him alive, partly because his lunchbox was cool' is one of my absolute favourite lines tbh - Paul taking Percy crabbing and being imperative in helping Percy kill the giant crab 💖 Paul Blofis is important and deserves the world, okay? - aw Percy, you can't save every demigod bb

- 'i had to fight him eventually. Why not now?... What difference would a week make?' Oh Percy you have no idea - real talk tho, the fact Kronos possessed Luke's body would also mess me tf up. Percy keeps forgetting it's not Luke anymore and yeah, that would be so so hard and confusing af, like what another smart little mind game for Kronos to pull on top of everything else - the fact Percy fights Kronos before getting the Achilles Curse and actually doesn't die within seconds is... Astounding. He kicks him in the chest! And yeah Kronos is weaker and still adjusting to Luke's body, but Percy is having trouble fighting Luke cause they used to be friends - Percy breaks Kronos' time magic!! Like?! Boy is POWERFUL.

- OUCH - honestly Luke, Thalia and Annabeth's family breaking the way it did... Don't talk to me. Poor Annabeth, Luke betrayed them, Thalia joined the Hunters because of Luke's betrayal so she's pretty much AWOL all the time and then Luke dies. Like Rick wtf, my heart can't take it? -Percy and Tyson having each others backs when talking to Poseidon in the underwater palace is the brother-brother relationship we love to see - Percy trying to stick a sand dollar in the vending machines at school 🤦🏻‍♀🤦🏻‍♀ - the whole underwater interaction at Poseidon's palace? Perfection. Awkward family drama and all - Connor falling out of the tree when he sees Percy because he's so excited 😂😂

- 😭💖

- k, ik Clarisse isn't perfect but tbh if i was a child of Ares whose father was disrespected and hated by my fellow campers (ares deserves it but still) and that disrespect trickled down to how the other campers treated ME (which if Percy is reliable here, it obviously does) then i would also be irritated at being used for muscle and nothing else? And just expected to fight with the people who act as if they'd rather not have Ares kids around the rest of the time. Like Clarisse isn't totally wrong - Percy reading the prophecy, seeing he's meant to die and just being like 'i do not see it' and refusing to outright think about it makes me so sad for him - (but it taints every action after and he's super reckless afterwards bc of it- including finally breaking and accepting the Achilles Curse) - (also him taking this as the last straw and finally beginning to show Annabeth how he really feels, cause fuck it, he's dying anyway) - Give me more info about Rachel's backstory and family Rick!! -  how did i forget Percy willingly eats chocolates that taste like cardboard because 'i didnt have anything against cardboard' like sir? Ik Silena didn't want them but still? - 'she'd always been cute, but she was starting to be seriously beautiful' STOP, MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT - Percy staring at Annabeth and forgetting what they're talking about cause hes so distracted 👌🏻

- hmm yeah... For some strange reason.... - i forgot how Percy totally bombs this convo bw them and now want to cry 😭 Annabeth is trying to talk about what's important and Percy, you sweet oblivious man, you're shooting her down without even realizing - love that they're both on the same wavelength tho. Percy two lines before, hmm it's cool to date ppl from other cabins, wonder why im thinking that around Annabeth, my best friend in the world, and then Annabeth a beat later, hmm, let me bring up Silena and Beckendorf and how it's important to be with the people you love when you have the chance, no way Percy will miss this huge hint right? - they're the best - k i honestly forgot Percy full on physically intimidates Leneus like that - luke telling his mom if he ran away the monsters wouldnt get her..i can just imagine luke crying when he says good bye before running away because he thinks it's his fault his mom is like that and he cant take care of and protect her anymore because it's too hard - uh oh now i have angsty pre-lightning thief luke fic inspo... Him, Thalia and Annabeth on the run... The ANGST -  Rick holds absolutely nothing back in this book and i am in pain - HESTIA!! 💖💖🥰 - actual loml - i love that Rick titled this book after her and that he wrote such a great series about the importance of family (biological, found or otherwise) and home, and that he said actually Hestia is the most important bc shes the most humble and keeps the peace and knows when to fight and when to yield and you protect what you love, which is your home - i just... Adore Hestia - Grover! Missed you babes - Hades is so so horrible to Nico, always comparing him to Bianca :/ - but i do love Hades, Persephone and Demeter together they make me laugh - oh god the River Styx - Achilles 🥺 - Annabeth being Percy's lifeline is, and continues to be, A Lot™ - 'my name was Percy Jackson. I reached up and took Annabeth's hand.' LOL Why am i crying? - Like the fact there is no Percy without Annabeth, and that remembering her literally reminded him of who he is in his very soul... It's fine im fine - i won't even get into the parallels of her being his lifeline now and then later when Hera takes his memories but leaves the memory of Annabeth for Percy to fight to get back to (anyone who wants to yell about it with me... Feel free to message) - badass Percy is my fav Percy tbh - him defeating Hades?? Like? Hades is arguably the most powerful god, okay - i feel bad for Nico but if i was Percy I'd do the exact same, Nico, sorry man but this is a high stakes time crunch deal and Nico is literally the only hope of persuading Hades and distracted by his own internal stuff - flashbacks to Luke, Thalia and Annabeth hurt, ow - George and Martha are the best - damn i forgot Hermes full on nearly kills Percy here, yikes - Luke stop cockblocking Percabeth challenge

- i love!! Percy's love for New York!! So much!! - Percy leaving to live in New Rome in HoO is a lie and this is all the proof i need for why - the fact the entire last half of the book is the battle and aftermath... Such great buildup and pacing. All the tricks and twists and battles in this War of Manhattan? I would not take out a thing, Rick, you legend - of course then the final battle in hoo with the gods is what? Two pages? Ugh, don’t talk to me about my hatred for BoO and HoO - 'no detours you two' is still the cutest thing!!! - THE HUNTERS!! Thalia i missed you - good job Percy, you finally spent your sand dollar - Minotaur!! - 'dont i get a kiss for luck? Its kind of a tradition right?' Percy finds out he's gonna die and is out of fucks to give and honestly I support him - also Michael just standing beside these two while they're flirting like umm 👀 👀 while a monster army marches towards them, nbd - Annabeth taking Ethan's knife meant for Percy!!! Cause she just knows his weak spot without him even telling her! They literally invented love - Feral Percy is so scary omg, i love how well Rick incorporates the Achilles Curse in this novel, with the whole heightened weaknesses and stuff ans the parallels to Achilles arrogance being what killed him and Percy's loyalty, fierceness and protective instinct being his own heightened weakness - the fact that Percy is the one who inadvertantly kills Michael Yew tho, I'll never recover from that - the fact Hades offers Maria di Angelo a golden palace by the Styx like how Poseidon offers Sally a palace under the sea tho. Let's talk about that parallel - the entire talk with Prometheus is so so good - not me picturing young Luke hiding in the closet to get away from his mom when she has an 'episode' -i love callbacks in stories and all of the callbacks to the rest of the series in this book make me very happy (medusa, minotaur, the underworld, Rainbow!! My baby!!, Daedalus and more) - Percy summoning a wholeass hurricane against Hyperion - the Party Ponies! They're so chaotic, i love it - Dionysus! 😁 I can't help it, i love him - Percy absolutely losing it when he sees Sally and Paul asleep in the car 🥺 - Rachel telling Percy he's not the hero screws with him so much :( poor bb - although i really really love how Rick wrote this, it's so refreshing to not have one chosen one save the world, but a combination of people - the drakon, Silena and Clarisse make me cry - the Patrochilles references, im not okay - Annabeth giving up on Luke after hearing what he did to Silena and Percy telling her that doesn't make him happy 😭 that whole interaction makes my heart ache - Percy giving Hestia Pandora's pithos 🥺 - and Hades, Nico and the others coming for a final attack is so badass, i love it - listen im glad the og trio were the ones to confront Luke on Olympus but the fact Thalia got so close and then pinned by a statue of HERA makes me so sad. Ik her and Luke were finished and she coped by cutting him off completely and giving up all hope but i would pay money to know what they would have said to each other to say goodbye - Ethan 🥺 - Poseidon joining the fight against Typhon is so cool, such a great scene - 'PEANUT BUTTER!' - Annabeth you brilliant badass you - RIP Luke, you werent great but you werent the worst either - the gods just rolling up seconds too late, wondering wtf happened in Olympus and who the dead body is - the chapter where the Olympians meet and give out rewards is one of my absolute favourites (again i am incensed we didn't get anything like this in HoO) - will Percy turning down immortality ever not make me scream in glee? No? Alright then - Annabeth being relieved like Percy was relieved at the end of Titan's Curse tho - oh Hermes :/ - its so hard reading all this and knowing what comes in HoO... Like it's such a cathartic, earned and mostly happy and peaceful ending and then HoO comes along and undermines it all - aww Rick let Paul see Olympus somehow pls, he deserves it, he killed a dracanae - (i would also love to see it) - Percy being more upset Rachel took his pegasus than her going to Camp and possibly dying, lol, priorities dude - i honestly think that Rick had other ideas for the second Great Prophecy and how things would go down in BoO, cause the prophecy like... Barely applies to BoO, Doors of Death are in book four, and explabations of it is all so unclear when Rick is usually pretty good with that stuff - PERCABETH - lol Percy complaining about privacy when he and Annabeth are caught kissing literally in the middle of the very open and public dining pavilion, okay - BEST UNDERWATER KISS OF ALL TIME - that's it and im a glass case of emotion - very happy to say that this series remains my favourite of all time 💖

 If anyone ever wants to come gush about anything Riordanverse related feel free, because as you can see I have a lot of thoughts about it all

[talpup]

Ok so working theory so far (i haven't re-read everything yet,but i don't know when i'll get the chance to so here's what i have): we know the dragon king and griffon queen wanted to end the war/guarantee future peace/power so they wanted to imprint their young to secure that. The griffon king disagreed and hid Teris- but he couldn't hide a missing royal baby forever, so the dragon king/his servants tracked down teris' last known location; which was with shouta's sphinx family. The dragons attacked bc they were initially trying to get teris back-but when they couldn't find her, dragons and griffons ordered all sphinxes to be killed,not bc they didnt choose a side, but because by hiding teris they betrayed BOTH sides since she was a tool for them to unite dragons with griffons (and guarantee the survival of both royal families, with their power as rulers). This led to different factions being created in the war- some loyal to the griffon king only, some to the griffon queen and dragon king, some to the dragon king only. But eventually everyone turned on each other and the dragons and griffons were exterminated. (Orrrrr shit started getting out of whack with the elementals, so the council members banded together to secretly kill the royal familymembers on both sides, so they got the dragons and griffons to revenge murder each other).

The council is hiding knowledge of the war because if people found out that they turned on the kings and queens they swore allegiance to, then they are no longer trusted/respected authority figures, and EVERYTHING they do/say will come into question... including the festivals to appease the elementals.So if fourths lost their faith/respect towards the council, they wouldnt appease the elementals, and the elementals would start fucking oblvi up again. Also fourths might see that as valid reason to start a coup against the council.

Also i know all for one has something to do with this and i am missing analysis on a lot of stuff but its late so im going to sleep zzzz

Ooo... Theories! I love theories!!!

Brief reminder. In chapter 13, Teris' remembered dream shows her father saying it was time to leave, after she and Shouta spent the day playing together, and Teris asking her father if they could stay a bit longer. Her father said he was afraid not, and when she asked if she would get to see and play with Shouta again, the Griffon King's answer was "I hope so, my dear. For all our sakes, I hope so.”

Also in the latest chapter, His Purple Highness' thoughts shared what they asked the Sphinx leader for and the agreement Teris' father and Shouta's grandfather came to: "Finding the Griffon Queen and Dragon King’s plans as abhorrent as they did, Shouta's grandfather had asked for little in exchange for preforming a block on Teris to prevent a forced imprint. The only thing the Sphinx leader had wanted was King Lheas’ word that the Griffon’s would stop killing his kind for not choosing a side and joining in the war, and a private audience with Teris."

So we know that the Griffon King didn't ask the Sphinx's to hide Teris. But your current thought is that the King didn't take Teris back home after visiting the Sphinx's but hid her somewhere, and the Dragon's came looking for her, tracking her to the Sphinx's and killing Shouta's pack? Interesting... I like it.

But here's a few hinting/leading questions to help further your theories:

If the Griffon King had gone to the Sphinx's to put a block on Teris to stop any forced imprinting, why wouldn't he just return home to his mate and Queen, secure in the knowledge that a such a terrible thing could no longer be done to his daughter?

Presumably, so long as the Griffon Queen and Dragon King didn't find out what the Griffon King had done (in having Shouta's grandfather put a block on Teris) they would have merely thought the attempt to force an imprint on Teris and Kai had failed. It's not like they would've had a lot to go on to be sure such a thing would've worked in the first place, seeing as it's such a long held illegal thing to do and there's little to no remaining ancient records of it being done.

Also, if the Griffon Queen and Dragon King's plan to force an imprint was such an abhorrent thing that the Griffon Queen's loyal and loving mate/King consort was willing to work against her for the first time ever, it stands to reason that others (whether Griffon, Dragon, or merely severing them) would turn against them for it as well. Others like say the Dragon Court for instance.?. I'm not saying Ptick was right about the Dragon Court rising up and killing the Dragon's and only wrong about why (Ptick saying it was cause the Dragon King and Griffon Queen threaded Kai and Teris, instead of them wanting to force imprint them); but this might further lean itself to the "Ptick was right" theory.

As for the Elemental's. The scene in the last chapter with His Purple Highness telling Nemuri all that was mostly just to further explain how knowledge spells work, and (needless as it currently is) let readers know Nemuri is set to be the Dryad King's successor and be Dryad Queen.

Here's a couple lines from that scene where HPH is remembering: "The aged Sphinx had warmed to him during their meeting and privately admitted to being the sole bearer of a knowledge spell that imprisoned an ancient and terrible evil. Not so ancient as the Elemental’s the elemental leader’s were imprisoning, the Sphinx leader had told him with a wink; the great Sphinx naturally aware of the knowledge spell his ancestors had helped His Purple Highness’ ancestors with."

Since the knowledge spell Shouta's grandfather passed onto a young, unknowing Teris and locked in her head is the one keeping All for One imprisoned, and Shouta's grandfather admitted to HPH (His Purple Highness) that the ancient and terrible evil the knowledge spell he carried wasn't keeping something as "ancient as the Elemental’s the elemental leader’s were imprisoning" it's safe to say that All for One isn't an Elemental and the Elemental's won't be playing a part.

Actually, I'll flat out tell you, the Elemental's won't be playing a part in this fic. One, because I got so many moving pieces in this fic that I don't wanna kill myself by adding the Elemental's. lol And two, because this fic is part of an original series, and (whether I end up making it a fanfic or original fic) I have later plans for the Elemental's and the world of Oblvi in a later book.

One last thing. Seeing as it was so small that most might have overlooked it, I will say that there is a hint at what All for One is in the opening scene of the latest chapter.

In any case, thanks for sharing your working theories! I really did love hearing them. Feel free to share any more if you get a chance and want. I hope some of my hints and leading questions helped you along. Thanks again!

[masterserris]

all things considered, i think the blue lions ending is the “true” ending and at least the happiest of endings... we’ll see when the dlcs come out tho

spoilers under cut

THE TEA IS SIPPETHED

it’s literally the only ending in which dimitri lives and becomes the “savior king” and saves the continent and creates a new democratic government to fix the broken old noble/chest system.

edelgard dies but like. she did that to herself by LITERALLY STARTING A WAR AND KILLING THOUSANDS OVER 5 YEARS. like that bitch had it coming. she may have wanted a better future by getting rid of a corrupt church but fuck that bitch honestly she coulda gone about it in a better way

idk about the golden deer route, i havent seen much on it, but eh dimitri still dies and i think so does edelgard so it isnt much better. just slightly better than the black eagle route. church route is also in the same boat.

idk man dimitri and the blue lions literally did nothing wrong. the kingdom did nothing wrong, they only ever acted out of self defense. so fuck the empire honestly afjsafnjaksfajksfjaks for as wack as dimitri gets it ONLY happens because of MASSIVE ptsd, depression, and anxiety caused BY the empire, his step mother, and edelgard. like his step mom had his whole family killed in front of him, blamed it on duscur to destroy them, then she got killed by edelgard i think or smth. his dad LITERALLY was beheaded in front of him and people/buildings were burned too. like holy fuck he’s just a KID goddamn

anyways, the empire is literally the invading imperialistic army so. yeah. no. edelgard can’t just be like: “aw ur in the wrong dimitri!1!! you are a bad person to keep fighting back and killing more people!!111!! even tho i started all this shit and killed thousands of innocent people to begin with!1! i burned a whole village mother fucker!” 

“UR A DELUSIONAL PRINCE FOR DEFENDING YOUR HOMELAND AND CHURCH ALLIES”

before killing him. like fuck. that. bitch. UGH.

like he didnt even know it was his step mom that did it until later when he finally takes the throne. it’s bullshit, all he knew is some bastards like the flame emperor were behind it, that’s all. he wanted Rightful revenge for the murder of his family, the destruction of garreg mach and the “death” of his teacher, AND the 5 year war that butchered the continent and his homeland.

dimitri is valid as FUCK for being pissed at her and the empire. wack. it’s all wack. he’s the best boy and the only route that leads to a good ending for him and the kingdom overall is the blue lions route so there. 

he gets all crazed but honestly who wouldnt. dont gaslight the man for having a super fucked up life and stressful from like age 10 and on. he deserves peace for all he’s been through and he does a fucking fantastic job once he gets his shit together.

edit: based on all the likes i’ve been getting on this i can probably just assume that I Am Right About This

sorry i dont make the rules nsfjanfjannfjnnjk

also all the shit edelgard wanted? dimitri went and did anyways. he got rid of the bullshit nobility and made things more of a democracy. like all she did was kinda pointless and made a lot of enemies.

sure, byleth still has that thing in their chest but who GIVES A FUCK. they still live their life just fine like damn. rhea retires the fuck away regardless. so she aint being a tyrant anymore. byleth is in charge. like damn all the “good shit” from the black eagle playthrough is IN THIS ONE PLUS DIMITRI LIVES AND MORE PEOPLE LIVE AND HAVE GOOD LIVES.

so yeah 

also also: empires always ALWAYS crumble as nations desire their independence. in a few decades after edelgard leaves you can BET your ass someone will wanna revolt from their control. imperialism never works forever folks. look at all of human history for that example. the other nations in fodlan should remain free.

i think by the end dimitri rules all the lands in fodlan? mainly bc the empire just got dethroned and they are destabilized (the alliance is also destabilized but i think they are mostly ok), so it makes sense he would rule/join the two (empire/kingdom) together for mutual growth. but they are still at least sorta recognized as their own territories. they aren’t just wiped from history like edelgard did ffs.

ALSO. ANOTHER THING (sorry i keep editting this bc i have so many thoughts)

THE FINAL FUCKING CUTSCENE OF BLUE LIONS

AFTER FUCKING EVERYTHING HE OFFERS EDELGARD HIS HAND. EVEN AFTER THE WAR. AFTER SHE TURNED INTO A FUCKING DEMON AND TRIED TO KILL HIM. AFTER. FUCKING. EVERYTHING. HE STILL GIVES HER ONE LAST CHANCE

HE FUCKING MEANS IT TOO, THIS AIN’T SOME BULLSHIT PLOY.

BUT NO, SHE FUCKING STABS HIM WITH THE KNIFE HE GAVE HER ALL THOSE YEARS AGO. SO HE HAS TO KILL HER WITH HIS LANCE. HE ISN’T STARTLED OR SURPRISED. JUST HURT.

STONE COLD AFTER BEING BETRAYED BY HER OVER AND OVER AGAIN. HE JUST RIPS THAT SHIT OUT AND DROPS IT ON THE FLOOR. HE’S DONE WITH HER AND NEEDS TO MOVE ON.

BUT! BUT! BYLETH LOOKS BACK AT HER AND SO DOES DIMITRI, BUT BYLETH STOPS HIM. DON’T LOOK BACK. MOVE ON. THE FUCKING HAND HOLD. LIKE DAMN. BEST BUDS FOR LIFE. THEY GOT EACH OTHER’S BACK LIKE NO ONE ELSE.

AND THEY MOVE ON INTO THE LIGHT TO THE CHEERING CROWDS BECAUSE AT LONG FUCKING LAST THE WAR IS OVER AND THEY STILL HAVE THEIR INTEGRITY.

after all the bullshit, they still have the highest moral ground and actually fix things. even after offering their enemy peace.

----------------------------------------------

after the cutscene!! the epilogue!!

LIKE MOTHER FUCKER, THIS IS ALL THE PROOF YOU NEED THAT HE IS THE BEST BOY AND HAS THE BEST ROUTE FUCK OFF

DEMOCRACY: CHECK

HELPING THE DISADVANTAGED: CHECK

LISTENING/HELPING TO MINORITIES/FOREIGNERS/DUSCUR: CHECK

CORRUPTION FREE: CHECK

BYLETH IS FINE AND IS THE NEW ARCH BISHOP FOR A BETTER CHURCH, RHEA JUST PEACES OUT: CHECK

MOVING PAST HIS MENTAL ILLNESS AND PTSD FOR THE BETTERMENT OF HIMSELF AND OTHERS/THE KINGDOM: CHECKITY FUCKING CHECK

THE ABSOLUTE LEGEND HIMSELF, DIMITRI

edit edit: also look at the murals specifically, i’m gonna point out some shit real quick. 

first, dimitri’s:

It’s in nature. Birds and trees and leaves. Calm and harmonious.

Children are playing and smiling, food is being passed out by the soldiers to the people. they are thankful. 

byleth is addressing the people, writing out reforms and decrees, making sure things are aright.

the people of duscur are literally at the side of dimitri, the king. 

looks like people from the alliance are on the far left of the mural, they are carrying gifts but they dont seem unhappy about it. just. normal.

dimitri is lower than everyone on the canvas besides a person on their knees asking for help and literal children. he is seated down at THEIR level, smiling AT them and doesn’t mind the kid pulling at him and playing. very relaxed. he’s sitting on just a regular ol’ tree stump. no throne. no opulence. just him, bc that’s all that’s needed.

NOW, LET’S LOOK AT EDELGARD’S OOHH BOY:

she is the tallest above them all, next to her is a divine figure, she is holding a staff as well. she is power. she is above all other peoples. she is STEPPING on a national flag with impunity. she doesn’t CARE she is the one in charge and no one can stand against it.

everyone from the other nations are bowing their heads and being submissive, but they certainly dont look happy. they look anxious as hell. their kingdoms are literally being trampled by the emperor. she is in her grand castle, gold and red and opulent. power and riches and rule.

the common folk, however look up to her. they see her as a second saint seiros. a better one. hence the divine figure next to her. she is like a god to them. not ideal. they seem happy, but no. they are looking to her for guidance in a troubled time caused by HER actions.

let’s not forget the mage in the back holding a knife. things are far from peaceful. 

the two very different moods of these pictures say all. one is true peace where everyone seems to be thriving with a compassionate ruler.

the other is domineering and crushing in presence. people are anxious about the future with violence still on the horizon. 

yeah, no. blue lions >>>> black eagles.

(i’m currently playing through golden deer which is looking p good so far, def better than black eagles and then im gonna do the church route. we’ll see how THAT goes anfjanjfnnfasjns)

edelgard stans dont interact

[blookmallow]

and finally, the conclusion of the dark brotherhood questline 

i have been through so much and lost so much but i gained the one thing that matters most of all.....  cicero’s heart 

-----

well

these aren’t the real emperor’s clothes but i have this still,

i put it on the dawnstar sanctuary mannequin with the jester hat lmao

:( my favorite guard friend who hangs out around the shops in the mornings with me is onto me 

hes not hostile or reporting me to the jarl or anything at least tho 

Dont woRRY About It

i did have guards after me for a while (i had. several just go ‘ok ill let you off this time :)’ bc. i. asked nicely. after attempting to assassinate the emperor of skyrim) but eventually just paid my bounty and they were like ok you’re good and now apparently everyone has completely forgotten That Time I Tried To Murder The Fucking Emperor 

anyway after the fucking massacre that happened at the sanctuary i was absolutely Out For Blood

i mean like....... i realize maro is completely justified here. we are in fact a league of assassins guilty of murdering A Lot of people, we very much did make a real attempt on the emperor’s life (and killed his double, who was less important but still like, an innocent guy, presumably)(or even if it was like that death note thing where its actually a criminal on death row anyway, like, we clearly didnt know that) and i did personally murder maro’s son and ruin his reputation, so. like. we are the bad guys in this situation no matter how you look at it lmao but STILL THOSE WERE MY FRIENDS, FUCKER

so i decided to murder him out of pure spite, but. uh

I DONT REMEMBER WHAT I DID TO CAUSE THIS BUT I ACTUALLY GOT THE SOLITUDE GUARDS TO MURDER HIM FOR ME LMAO I DIDNT EVEN HAVE TO DO ANYTHING

im trying to remember what the fuck even happened here im clearly. underwater, i think maybe i like. confronted him and he got hostile but i jumped off the pier and the guards were like “woah that guy’s losing it” and intervened but he fought them too or something ??? ??  I DONT KNOW BUT THE GUARDS KILLED HIM FOR ME :’) thanks guys 

then after everything we still kept the contract, and... the new plan.... was for me to sneak onto the emperor’s ship before he leaves skyrim and kill him there.... WHICH I COULD HAVE FUCKING. DONE IN THE FIRST PLACE. THIS IS SO MUCH EASIER THAN... KILLING SOME OFFICIAL’S SON AND PLANTING FALSE EVIDENCE AND TRACKING DOWN THE GOURMET AND MURDERING HIM AND IMPERSONATING HIM TO TRY TO POISON THE EMPEROR AND IMPLICATING A RANDOM CHEF WHO HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT AND

EVERYONE IS DEAD!!!!! WE COULD HAVE AVOIDED ABSOLUTELY ALL OF THIS. WAS ASTRID GETTING ME ALL MIXED UP IN THIS WILD GOOSE CHASE ON PURPOSE FROM THE BEGINNING ?? ? ? SORRY!!! IM ANGRY

i got all the way here without anyone even seeing me (i used a couple invisibility potions for the really tricky spots, but still) i could absolutely have just done this and avoided the entire everything. god 

anyway i again dont really understand the politics of skyrim but. the real emperor was expecting me to find him one way or another. he had already accepted his death and made peace with it. it was. actually kind of sad. i dont know enough to say whether he was actually a decent guy or not but he seemed like he was. i couldnt bring myself to steal his clothes so i still just have the duplicate emperor’s clothes but it looks the same anyway

i took a war axe from one of his displays though. i dont remember if i already mentioned my ongoing tradition of always taking something from my victims and enchanting them later to mark who it belonged to, but thats a thing ive been doing. little murder scrapbook

im not really sure how murdering the emperor counts as “serving the empire” but sure ok 

i also killed this guy lmao the emperor’s last wish was for me to kill whoever it was that betrayed him and i dont like this dude in the first place so i was like yea you got it 

i built a memorial with the weapons rack in my room in the dawnstar sanctuary

enchanted special weapons for each of our fallen members (left to right it’s astrid, arnbjorn, festus, gabriella, and veezara) (i also later added another dagger for lis bc i had one space left) 

theres also gemstones on the floor beneath each weapon but they keep sliding out of place :’ | 

ANGEL DARLING SONG OF MY HEART LIGHT OF MY LIFE YOU’RE ALIVE

you can see the game autosaving in the corner bc i had Just come out of the sanctuary lmao thats how lightning fast i reacted to this 

[sobbing] baby boy.... baby.... i was SO WORRIED

i murdered the fucking emperor of skyrim bc i was so desperate to continue this questline to see if cicero would come back I DID ALL OF THIS FOR YOU.....

(he pranked me and pretended he was gonna kill me at first. i almost lost it thinking he STILL wouldnt forgive me but it was ok :’) u got me, ) 

sniffs...... best friends forever........ this is the best possible outcome this is all ive ever wanted it was all worth it for this 

we got our window back!!!!! also ft cicero subtitle photobombing me with his boundless enthusiasm for murder but i forgive him 

oof we also have... a bunch of torture victims hanging around now too :’ ) oh

i kinda feel bad about them but there doesnt seem to be an option to let them go, 

i mean i could just kill them all i guess. i killed one guy to see if i could. you Can. his body is still there. nobody seemed to care that i killed him

I TURNED AROUND AFTER NAZIR SAID THAT AND CICERO’S JUST. LOOKING AT ME LIKE THIS,

i fuckign love this cute little shit. what the fuck. this is such justice too everyone was so rude to him, everyone made fun of him and talked down to him, everyone wanted him dead after he went after astrid, but she sold us out and got everyone killed, he was RIGHT, and now hes the right-hand-man to the Listener who is now ALSO the leader of the brotherhood. he’s basically second in command to the entire organization now and nobody can do a goddamn thing about it bc they all KNOW not to fuck with me now 

i also realized hes taller than me and i dont like it, :’)

im still deciding medea’s taller than him anyway i dont care. she would be taller than the character model is allowing for

he likes to randomly start singing/humming really off key/dancing around its SO cute.... im lov him...............

darling..... calm down, :’) 

hes so completely devoted to me now im in pain

i realized i could tell him to go to sleep and he actually did it the absolute madman 

he gets up if you try to sleep beside him though

i mean. not that i tried that or anything

he stands SO close to me all the time.... i turn around and hes right there beaming adoringly at me. i cant do this 

he kept saying mother needed some flowers so i took him out to collect some nightshade for her n dropped them around her feet 

“whats the point of thievery lol like..... just kill them?????? stupid” 

having cicero constantly two feet behind me jus making cute comments and/or half singing The Weirdest Shit I Have Ever Heard is absolutely delightful 

ur so cute when you’re threatening people

he also hates the forsworn see we’re in sync

I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU ALONE AGAIN

me, the leader of the brotherhood, in full brotherhood armor, with cicero following right behind me giggling to himself about murder:

[ogbellarke]

tagged by @rogue-hope

1. What Station on the Ark would you be from?

either hydra station or agro station

2. What would you get arrested for on the Ark?

honestly stealing

3. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground?

heck yeah, screw the adults that decided the 100 were disposable

4. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..)

i wanna say a shark or a puppy

5. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be?

wells jaha, 100%. he deserved so much better than the bullshit he went through

6. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they?

bellamy, clarke, jasper, harper, miller

7. What Grounder Clan would you belong to you?

flokru or azgeda 

8. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? (example: Octavia=Okteivia…just make it up!)

kc = kaycee?

9. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious

i’ll be honest, he seemed cool and like he was real smitten with clarke but then you find out he’s a piece of shit so yeah screw that guy

10. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does?

tbh no because even though life sucks, i wouldnt want to forget everything

11. What character do you relate to most?

clarke and jasper

12. What character do you like the least?

yikes a bunch. finn, l*xa, eggo, octagon after s1

13. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical)

plaid shirt, jeans, vans, some kind of symbolic necklace

14. Favorite type of mutant animal?

the butterflies but i want to see more of the sea creatures

15. What would your job be on the Ark?

a teacher, i guess

16. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked?

fuck her but to save everyone, fine, but it’s definitely not willingly

17. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, but she was still alive then who would have made the best commander?

roan or luna

18. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty?

im an affectionate drunk so maybe the same with the jobi nuts?

19. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake approach?

she’s just a kid, lock her up and throw in some cbt 

20. Who should have been the Chancellor, if anyone?

clarke and bellamy as co-leaders. the only time shit goes right in this show is when clarke and bellamy are working together

21. Would you have been on Pike’s side like Bellamy or on Kane’s side? Or Clarke in Polis?

kane’s absolutely.

22. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s Ipod) What is the one thing you would snatch while there?

music, absolutely. 

23. What would your Grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint?

ocean wave sleeve tattoos, double dutch braid, and idk winter soldier type war paint

24. Favorite quote?

“you may be the chancellor, but i’m in charge.” “what’s wrong with a little chaos?” “i lost the horse.” “you are the most beautiful broom in a broom closet full of brooms.” “you saved my life. and you may be a total ass half the time, but i need you.”

25. If all of the characters were in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning?

ugh octavia probably. but murphy, miller, and bellamy would team up and kick ass. raven would be in the trees waiting it out. clarke wouldnt want to hurt anyone, she only would as a last resort. monty and jasper and harper would also team up, they’d be the smart ones storing food and water.

26. Least favorite ship? Favorite canon ship? Favorite non canon ship? NOT INCLUDING CL OR BC OR BE

excluding cl and be? least favourite is anyone with finn. favourite canon is marper and briller and memori and zaven :). favourite non canon is princess mechanic and minty.

27. A song that should be included in the next season? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo?

hozier, obviously. or florence welsh.

28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time?

hope whoever was there last left their netflix account open. 

29. Your an extra that gets killed off. How do you die?

taking a walk in the forest and accidentally going into trikru territory.

30. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of?

i wish we could’ve gotten more. but currently, i would like some of miller and murphy.

31. A character you’d bang?

bellamy in s1 before he fell for the princess. otherwise, harper or raven.

32. Would you stay in the Bunker? Go up to Space? Or live on your own in Eden?

eden would be number one. but space is cool.

33. In the Bunker, would you follow Octavia? What would you do to pass the time underground?

quiet rebellion against octavia. but i’d adopt a bunch of orphans to keep me busy

34. What crime would you commit in the Bunker that lands you in the fighting pits?

stealing food or medicine.

35. Up in Space, who would you bond with first? Who would be the most difficult for you to get along with?

bond with raven or harper first. and e*ho would be difficult to get along with

36. How long do you think you would last on Earth by yourself?

omg i have zero survival skills so not long at all

37. When the Eligius ship lands what do you do?

spy for a bit then try to make peace with a few friends in the trees with snipers to watch my back

38. Favorite Eligius character? Least favorite?

shaw and diyoza are obviously the greatest and mccreary is obviously the worst

39. Would you Spacewalk?

if i knew it was safe, absolutely, that sounds lit.

40. Would you prefer to eat Windshield Bugs, Space Algae, or Bunker Meat?

space algae, the lesser of all evils

41. Would you start a war for the last spot of green on earth? What would your solution be to avoid it?

god, everyone’s first instinct is war as if that’s gonna solve anything. i’d negotiate a way for everyone to live there peacefully.

42. Would you rather dig out flesh-eating worms or stick thumb drives into bullet holes?

bleh, neither but i guess thumb drives in bullet holes

43. Are you willing to poison your sister for the Traitor Who You Love? What would you do to stop Octavia?

my sister is real cool, but if octavia were my sister, yeah. you can’t work stuff out with someone who always thinks they’re right and in charge. honestly, i’d’ve killed her, not a little poison that’ll wake her later.

44. Would you go to sleep in cryo or stay awake like Marper?

cryo, i wanna see the future. but i understand why marper did it

45. Who are you waking up first to explore the new planet?

clarke, bellamy, raven, shaw, murphy, emori, miller

woo that was fun. tagging @biondebeauties @space-delinquents @the-most-beautiful-broom

[mars-the-4th-planet]

The Exo-Martian/Joopistein Conflict of 88,000,902 BC

Back in the day, before humans did their hum, I was a far more independent planet. I had an atmosphere and single celled life! I was all set to become the next earth!

It was only a matter of time before a truly sentient being evolved... I wasnt impatient, I was ready and willing to wait millions of years if thats what it took.

I didnt have a crush on the most wonderful planet in the galaxy yet, I got good grades, I was skilled in PE sports and really life was great!

But... Sol... She kept wearing down my atmosphere with solar wind. She said I wasnt supposed to have life and that she had the right to remove my atmosphere if she needed to. It simply wasnt my destiny to be a lively place, she said.

But what Sol didnt seem to understand is that im pretty far away. If I had a proper ozone than I could have life regardless of what Sol wanted. My atmosphere would just absorb all her radiation.

Where could I get an ozone layer though? I needed lots of gas in specific types to form a nice strong ozone. Because of my small size, my magnosphere sucked and I needed an even stronger atmosphere than earths!

So... I went to get some from the only source close enough: The Joopistein. Or as you know her today, Jupiter.

I opened interplanetary communication with her and we discussed my total extinction problem. I asked her to lend me some of her mass. A tiny, tiny amount to her. O.1% of specific parts of her massive atmosphere would be all I needed.

She said no.

I asked again, more frantically.

She said no again.

I BEGGED her for the materials to have an ozone layer that worked, saying that if I didnt get it every living thing on me would freeze to death. Single-celled life cannot maintain activity in subzero temperatures!

I cried, pleaded, tried as hard as I could to convince her! But even back then we were on bad terms and she didnt want to help me.

So I stopped talking to her, and began work on Operation Raptor V. (Yes... I know thats a dorky name. I was young back then and thought it was cool okay?)

Within a few years, (in a huge hurry because time was running out fast. In a matter of decades everything on me would be extinct.) I raised a pro-mars space armada of thousands of asteroids and a few dozen moon-sized dwarf planets.

The plan was, I explained to them, was to capture the Joopisteins favorite moons and shred her outer atmosphere with meteor strikes. I know what youre thinking, "wtf mars you were going to start a space war?" yes, yes I was. I was desperate during that time! I had to grab the materials needed to save the lifeforms on my surface!

So, when the Stars of War aligned, we begun our invasion. I called myself Exo-Mars back because I thought I was a bit of a badass after my victories in the asteroid belt, and I had earth (who is larger than I am) SURRENDER to me not long before that time without me even attacking her! (She was kind of weird about it, as if she WANTED to surrender to me. And she called me "Ma'am" for a little while after that without me telling her too.)

Anyway, so here I was with an army and feeling hardcore right? I thought if I went in fast enough, the Joopistein would feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of asteroids and moons and would be afraid what would happen to her moons if she didnt give me what I wanted. So she would surrender quickly without a long fight. And yes I know I sound cruel but ive changed since then I promise! I wouldnt really hurt innocent moons anyway!

Unfortunately for me, when you have an army of thousands at least one of them is probably a traitor. The Joopistein was warned of my attack beforehand so when it started all of her moons had either gone inside her outer atmosphere for protection or had gone behind her or simply fled into the outer solar system to return later. Its hard to change orbits quickly in space when your momentum is still up, so if I turned around at that point the attack would just have to wait until another time. But if I retreated, the asteroids would scatter again as they do (they are very disorganized and unreliable soldiers) and it could take me a whole year to arrange them into an a concentrated attack pattern again!

So, being the arrogant little planet I was, I declared that we would attack the Joopistein directly!

About a quarter of my army routed right away. It sucked. I didnt give up though, life wasnt going extinct on me if I could help it!

"JOOP! LAST CHANCE! I NEED OZONE, AND YOU HAVE PLENTY! GIVE ME SOME!" I demanded. Confident now. No more begging: I would be given what I wanted or I would take it.

She only laughed.

So, the battle begun. Wave after wave of meteors pelted and whizzed by the Joopistein. Some made it out, some didnt. I dont understand why they dont mind being engulfed by planets. It sounds very painful. But not to them I guess...

Joopisteins atmosphere started getting a little messed up, like burning clouds of gas would get launched into space. But she was so unbelievably big that the giant clouds meant nothing to her.

The circled her, pelting the Joopistein more and more. Problem was I was losing more of my army than they were doing damage. They were heating her up all right but it wasnt exactly doing anything to make her surrender. I started getting worried so I sent in the dwarf planets.

Then something awful happened. Jupiter used her secret attack: The Septa Aurora. Her poles glowed and whispered dangerous ideas to my moons and asteroids with the power of the mightiest planet in the solar system...

Some flew off into space. Some continued their attack, but... The majority turned on me.

A cloud of projectiles moving at insane speeds I had never seen them go before were coming right at me. The bulk of my armada had turned against me because of some flashy lights. (okay I know theres more to it then that but still...)

At that moment, I knew I had lost. The great Exo-Martian empire was at its end and I had no choice but yo surrender. I raised the white rock in meloncholy and humiliation.

Yet, I did not want to die. And I could tell by how she was looking at me that she did not want to spare me. I had critically damaged two of her moons and they wouldnt ever recover. I had damaged her own planetary stability and had assaulted her with what amounted to a swarm of flying ants. She was furious and wanted to see me suffer. Im not saying she didnt have a good reason to, either.

But luckily, Sol noticed what was happening and told Joopistein to accept my surrender. Back then Sol was a much stricter authoritarian and she was likely to report her to Galaxy Centre after punishing her severely if Joopistein destroyed me. She didnt want to risk that so she accepted my surrender.

We were at peace after that, but a bunch of surrender conditions and war reparations were put on me. My badass exo helmet with the spike on it was removed, leaving only the goggles behind. All of my moons except two were taken from me and given to Joopistein. I wasnt allowed to accept any material from any planet anymore, even if they gave it willingly. Sol has her own punishments in mind for picking a fight which included a long range solar flare that left me dazed and shocked for a while and exterminated everything on me in a blast of radiation.

The last condition made by what is now Jupiter was that I had to do any chore she wanted for the next 700 million years.

And THAT is the sad story of why I have to go do dishes for Jupiter among other things... *sigh* 612 million years to go...

[lesbow]

relationship klance

we always talk about pre-relationship klance like what about the actual relationship ya feel

to start off they absolutely get together in the dorkiest way possible like its either 100% sappy or 100% embarrassing and by accident there is no in between 

they did that fanfic corny scene where lance was about to confess and keith realized before he even finished his sentence and just goes for the smooch

except its terrible theres too much teeth and their noses crash into each other its just a mess 

its also both their first kiss 

even after they both confess its takes them like a week to get up the courage to ask each other out bc theyre both nerds

lance plans on trying to keep it small bc he thinks keith doesnt really want anything big and cheesy

keith plans on absolutely making it as cheesy as possible bc he thinks lance would prefer big and cheesy to small and ordinary

they literally plan to ask each other out on the same damn day

keith asks hunk to make lances favorite food for lunch and asks pidge to hook up the projector so they can watch an altean romcom they wont understand anyway but catch keith trying to take notes during the fluffy scenes 

hunk and pidge tease them to hell and back but theyre really happy for them so they go through with his requests

lance and keith both keep looking at each other during the movie wondering if they’ll be like that at some point and blush throughout the whole damn thing

everyone else thinks its so so so fucking cheesy but oh my god hunk and shiro are so happy for them bc its been a long time coming

at dinner they sit extra close to each other and casually brush fingers. theyre obviously blushing throughout the whole thing 

its just a week of blushing okay

lance gets so happy and smiles so wide when he realizes its his favorite food that keith just stares with a soft expression and when lance meets his eye they both blush but keith doesnt look away as fast as he used to bc he can have this 

after dinner they walk to the map room to look at the stars bc its become their thing and lance has had Enough with the brushing hands so he offers keith his palm and keith fucking swoons when they interlock fingers

they both planned to ask each other out at the star deck so obviously both of their plans crash bc after a weird silence where theyre BOTH thinking hard and turning into blushing, fidgeting, and sweating messes they turn to each other with the same glint in their eye

they say it at the same time 

lance and keith.jpg

and then they turn into giggling messes with fond looks bc if this isnt foreshadowing how amazing theyre relationship is gonna be than idk what is 

ROMANCE ENSUETH

in the beginning theyre just really really really nervous still bc theyve both been pining for a long time and dont wanna mess this up

when they start out, lance initiates most of the physical contact first like hand holding, putting his arm around keiths shoulders, that sorta thing bc keith is so fucking nervous and was never good at expressing himself but he eventually initiates it to he loves seeing how happy lance looks when he does

theyre both flustered messes but keith is really bad

they dont kiss yet bc theyre practically walking nervous systems 

they hold hands a lot tho lance has soft hands bc of his skin care routines so a lot of times keith will just idly play with lances fingers because it calms him 

keith rubs his thumb on the back of lances hand and lance fucking dies every time

lance still makes fun of keiths hair but it dies down little by little bc hes always wanted to play in that dang mullet tbh

one day keith catches lance just intensely staring at his hair and before he can even ask whats up lance asks if he can do his hair

theyre both messes when lance gets behind and starts playing in keiths hair but eventually lance just gets distracted with it and keith finds it really soothing. moreso than he thought it’d be

it becomes a reoccurring thing. lance will run his hands through keiths hair and keith just loves it so much it feels so nice

it started on the couch in that lounge room they have but one time hunk walked in and keith was practically passed out with his head on lances lap and he felt so embarrassed bc it feels really intimate and they both would rather keep stuff like that in their rooms so they do

whenever they go to a planet keith tries to look for things he thinks lance would like. hes not good with words so he tries to express himself through other means

the first time keith gave lance a gift from a planet it was a cat plushie bc its pretty fucking obvious lance likes cats

its red 

when keith gives it to him he stares at the ground and just like thrusts it out to him bc hes so nervous and lance takes it slowly, cautiously, and when hes stopped astral projecting into another plane of existence he kisses keith on the cheek bc he love love loooovvveess it

he names it keef and cuddles it all the time. keith always just stares like >:0 bc its really cute and he loves his boyfriend so much but also bc oh my god are we gonna cuddle like that someday omg lance is my boyfriend ohmy go d holl y s hi

he falls down the rabbit hole often

lance on the other hand loves bears and loves anything that he thinks could represent them like he’ll just point out two rocks side by side or some shit to hunk and be like “thats gonna be me and keith one day :) <3″ and hunk juts pats him on the back

DONT EVEN GET STARTED ON SEEING OTHER COUPLES IN PUBLIC 

whenever theyre planet side and lance sees a romantic couple he squeezes keiths hand (bc theyre already holding hands they never stop) and gets this fond and hopeful look on his face

lance wants every planet they meet to know keith is his boyfriend (he never gets tired of saying it) so whenever theyre at diplomatic functions and they have to talk to the aliens, he’ll always bring it up somehow 

it ranges from “so it must be difficult fighting this war” “yeah but having keith by my side helps” to “our planet welcomes you young paladin” “thanks and also heres my boyfriend keith the red paladin you know the right arm of voltron? that guy? yeah thats my boyfriend. my boyfriend is the red paladin his name is keith. we’re in a relationship. did you know that? its great im so happy omg this food is so good btw did i mention im dating keith and that keith is my boyfriend?”

lance still flirts sometimes but he never actually wants it to go anywhere. at first this makes keith a little disoriented and he mopes but then they talk and Communicate and lance says that he just likes to flatter people bc it makes them feel good and stuff and so they work it out. so lance still flirts but only a little and not as strongly as he used to 

speaking of communication, in the beginning theyre talking fucking s u ck ed they’d misunderstand each other and it would result in sadness and venting to their respective besties but the third time they get shoved in a room and told to just “talk it out” they realized that they really need to be more open/clear about stuff

eventually they get really good at talking about things to each other. their problem wasnt that they wouldnt talk to each other it was that they just couldnt understand the other so they work on getting to know each other better and it really helps and works out so so great

they both have issues, lance with his self esteem and keith with his abandonment issues and they know that the other cant fix it bc thats not what its about but they definitely help.

unlike lance, keith knows who he is and is confident in his abilities so he tries to help him in that aspect

unlike keith lance has always been a people person and is family oriented so he tries to help keith slowly get overcome it

theyre both really good for each other. they cant “fix” each other obviously but they help one another out so much and it means a lot

they have their first kiss like two months after they got together 

it was after a battle and no not a deadly one you heathens a really really awesome one the teams all smiles and lance pulled a cool move at the end when they formed voltron and they saved a planet and everyones soooo happy and when they get back to the castle lance bolts to keith and just spins him around in a hug smiling and laughing and they smooch

its the best thing theyve ever experienced

they dont stop kissing after that. catch them giving each other little pecks all the time 

at this point they arent as nervous as when they first started 

after long battles theyll just kinda fall into each other

they dont do it in public/in front of the team but they cuddle a l o t

keiths two favorite places are in the crooks of lances neck and on his chest to hear his heartbeat 

lance likes to kiss keiths forehead bangs in the way or not if he thinks his man needs some smooches he’ll give him some fucking smooches

the first time they fall asleep together (i mean literally fall asleep not anything nasty pls dont sexualize these boys) locks in for both of them that This Is It ya know

theyre cuddling in lances room keith wearing his jacket and has his face smooshed against his chest lance is playing in keiths hair and his lips are lightly touching his forehead

its after a diplomatic meeting 

theyre both really tired and keith thinks he should probably go back to his room but they both feel too comfortable and everything feels so nice so he doesnt

lance likes listening to keiths voice and vice versa so theyre literally just saying nonsense 

theyre voices drift off into a comfortable silence and eventually they both fall asleep

keith wakes up first and hes confused but then he looks up at lance and how peaceful he looks when hes sleeping and just stares

lance wakes up a little while later and meets eyes with keith but then he notices keiths unruly bed hair and the small spot of drool by keiths mouth and almost cries 

its the best sight either of them have ever seen and at the same time they both think to themselves that they wouldnt mind waking up like this for the rest of their lives